#and now I just need my fictional spouses to save me

[dragonfruitghosts]

literally having the worst time right now I just want my fictional spouses to hold me that would solve all of the problems I’m having tonight

[ianthewife]

im a liar that lies so okay here it is by popular demand of like one and a half people

Ranking the silt verses characters that i find attractive and why (nobody look at me insane addition):

1. Val — every time she talks or does anything at all, all the blood rushes away from my brain and i fall unconscious hitting my head on the way down that’s honestly probably why i am this way. the gruesome mess and utter devastating tragedy of her existence is so hot to me. she can turn me into a chair whenever she wants to. all this to say: Val please please please please just one chance—

2. Mercer — a nasty obsessed honestly insane woman with zero hinges? ummm yes please? the way she says “mine” before a kill is doing some certain things to me but i shan’t say. love when she is cackling wildly going insane and murdering people. which means always. mercer call me back

3. Sibling Rane — always smiling when i think of them, their laughter has saved my life. cultist of the month the year the life and my heart. fuck it, ill convert to the Trawler-man bullshit even, im down. we are having a spring outdoor wedding with shrimp cocktail bar and everyone is invited. the ceremony will be wonderful and if they want to drown some people during it well whatever my beautiful spouse says

4. Carpenter — no explanation needed i think. she is everything to me on every single level, my love for her is vast and endless and soaring high in the sky. she has never and i say NEVER done anything that i would think is unattractive. i will forever and ever hold her in my heart. also DAMN her voice-

5. The Saint Electric — id fuck her. straight up. please don’t ask me why she is so high on the list

6. Hayward — when he is extremely pathetic or extremely goofy. he makes me laugh that’s all i need from a fictional man. also that one occasion in the end of s1 when he was screaming wildly i think that’s was hot i mean who said that-

7. Paige — putting fucking hayward over paige feels like blasphemy but i can’t help the way i feel. Fighting against doom is so hot. Yes baby quit your marketing job to birth a god. Can i run away with you? Also when she is angry and determined and her voice is sharp with frustration and- well you get it

8. Faulkner — when he is being insane or using that ridiculous goofy ass evil cult leader voice. i said what i said.

9. Shrue — when they are in the middle of a mental breakdown or beating the shit out of Carson. i love how they sound when they are distressed and at the end of their fucking rope<3

10. Cross — yep. you heard me. i won’t even apologize or deny this. baby, are you perchance looking for a 4th ex-wife? tbh would love to ruin this man even further. he is 1. hilarious (big time) 2. pathetic (BIG time) and that’s all i need to like a fictional man

11. Charity — idk i think we could have fun, she’d chase me through the woods and then… well, i digress

12. Carson — now NOW everyone STEP BACK and put your rifles down let me explain— this poisonous slug of a man is the most disgusting, sinister, sleazy, inhuman, heartless, cruel, reprehensible thing i have ever witnessed. i want to garrote the living shit out of him and smash his head through a concrete wall. and maybe in this unrepentant desire for violence against this man there is something slightly sexually charged?.. i… honestly don’t know and i will not examine it. also he talks as if he is constantly whimsically kicking his feet which makes me want to kill both him and myself.

[20kmemesunderthesea]

Mobilis in Mobili

Things of Interest:

Captain Nemo, Freedom Fighter

Libertatem

Films:

The Russian 1975 "Captain Nemo" Miniseries

SNL: Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea

AMC's "Nautilus"

Games:

Leagues of Love: a Steampunk Dating Sim

Nemo's Fury

Verne: the Shape of Fantasy

A Whale of a Tale:

Hello my fellow bookworms, geeks and uncivilized vagrants! My name is Anna, and I hail from the United States.

I married a man from India. He’s the full package. Tall, dark and handsome…sort of broody until he warms up to you, then he’s a total cinnamon roll. He’s also adventurous, has compelling leadership qualities and a penchant for humanitarianism, which is one of the main reasons I husband’ed him. We’ve been bound in holy matrimony for many a year, and he’s aged like fine wine.

Here's us as young 'uns living in India:

Behind us in this photo you'll see an Indian naval submarine. He took me on a tour of it as a date, because he knows how to show a girl a good time.

Early on in our relationship I read "Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea." I couldn’t put it down! At night I would dream about being on board the Nautilus. Furthermore…I was immediately smitten with Captain Nemo. 

I actually got a little flustered reading TKLUTS. Captain Nemo is first introduced with three paragraphs describing how handsome he is, with a commanding presence, swarthy features and “finely-tapered hands.” In Professor Aronnax’s words, “Certainly the most wonderful physical specimen I'd ever met up with.”

As the story progresses, he’s shown to be level-headed under pressure, a great leader, and, of course a brilliant mind. My little ol’ heart could hardly handle it when he saved that pearl-diver’s life…or when he smuggled gold to the revolutionaries in Crete. And it did certainly did not help when he would have an impassioned outburst, or break down in tears at the sight of a human life being taken. 

(Jules Verne made Captain Nemo SO HOT…and for what?!)

Now obsessed with this literary figure, I had to find out his elusive backstory. A brief Google search revealed another Jules Verne book, “The Mysterious Island,” which promised to answer my questions.

Upon reading “The Mysterious Island,” I was hard-hit by the tragic tale of the deposed Indian Prince Dakkar, alias Captain Nemo who lost his family during the rebellion of 1857, then built a futuristic submarine in secret with his faithful followers, and dedicated his life to science…and revenge.

Then it hit me like a thunderbolt.

Captain Nemo is Indian...

The way people look up to him…

The intelligent, constantly active mind…

The thirst for adventure…

The tender heart hidden under an exterior of emotional constipation..

It was then I realized that I was besotted with a fictional character…who is a dead ringer for my own dear husband!

Upon re-reading TKLUTS I could attest that the way Captain Nemo reacts in any given situation is just how my husband would react if he had a penchant for engineering and undiagnosed chronic depression. I was flabbergasted that I hadn’t seen it before!

Practically slamming a copy of “20k League Under the Sea” in front of my spouse, I said, “This could be us: we just need a submarine!”

They always said, "boys are better in books..."

This is why I advise people to not hold out.

Wait until you find the literary character of your dreams in the flesh.

It’s truly a joy to hold his finely-tapered hands.

[tryslora]

Practice retirement day...

Yesterday I had a holiday from work, and for the first time in a long time, it was just a day off. I didn’t have anything planned (and the one appointment I did have scheduled was moved to a non-holiday date). I was home alone—no kids, no spouse.

I decided that it would be a great time to trial acting like I’m retired. What does that mean? Well, it means setting an alarm (yes, an alarm) and getting up and getting myself ready as if I’m working from home. Because when I’m retired, that’s exactly what I’ll be doing, but instead of Current Day Job, I’ll be writing.

And I did.

I moved between productive writing-related times and doing tasks around the house that needed to be done. I did the dishes, folded the weekend laundry and put it away, dealt with phone calls and some vacation planning. I also reviewed more self-publishing information, completed the basic layout for FTR (as much as  I can do until I get the IBSNs and cover), created a layout template for the Seven Lakes books in general, and created a logo for my indie-pub company.

I even made time for PT for my neck, back, and hips, and for snuggling of kitties. And for anime.

My focused writing time was only about 3 hours total, but I got a LOT done, and I was relaxed.

It was freakin’ bliss.

Being back to the day job is hard. I’m quite honestly daydreaming about when writing IS my day job. When I’m able to do the things I love, and get a lot done AND relax at the same time.

When spouse worries that he’ll never retire, I remind him that if I can actually make money at this writing gig, while we also have retirement money saved, then YES, he can retire. We’ll have an income. It’ll work out.

Right now I’m just thrilled to have finally been able to pilot a properly organized day. I want to create a schedule that I can adapt to weekends to see if I can get better about protecting my writing time then, too. It’s harder when there are more outside demands. But maybe I can do it, by demonstrating how well it works when I’m alone.

What this does mean is that I’m getting closer to being able to put Finding Their Roots out into the world. I have the next steps on my to-do list (which I’ll hopefully be attacking tonight).

Then it’s time to start planning books. And writing. 

I think once the first book is out, it’ll get easier. It’s the publishing/marketing/etc. process that is harming my ability to write. I think if I can create a procedure, map it out and be able to repeat it later, it won’t be so overwhelming.

It’s a thought, anyway.

And hey, if you might be interested in getting an ebook as a review copy of the first book in a new MLM series, let me know. It’s paranormal romance, and slightly spicy. Small fictional magical community in the Adirondacks, and a POV character who… keeps forgetting that magic exists, to the point where he doesn’t know it exists at all. Which is interesting, considering growing up he was a member of a werewolf pack… 

I love this series, and I hope readers will too. I’m happy to provide some copies of the ebook, once it’s fully packaged, in exchange for honest reviews.

I have… digressed.

But see, that’s the thing. Getting to focus on writing and writing-related tasks makes me excited about it again.

Counting the years. A little under five to go.

[welcometothewarren]

Tag Someone You Want to Get to Know

tagged by @gitli !

@best-beelieve @ilackallhonour @wodnes--coyotl @eivor-wolfkissed @genderfluid-dynamics @celepeace @serbamf @anotherdayforchaosfay @lokahjarta

Last song: tulsa's last magician by willi carlisle, because apparently it's a Songs That Take Me From Zero To Crying in sixty seconds flat kind of morning

Currently watching: survivor 💀 i have a survivor personality now. it's spouse's fault.

Currently reading: i just (JUST) finally finished Pontypool Changes Everything after putting off the last fifteen pages for a century. i'm different now. i Was reading The Silent Cry: Mysticism and Resistance by Dorothee Soelle but idk, i'm struggling a little bit to get into it. i feel like the timing isn't quite right, so when i'm done chewing on pontypool i might switch to waiting for god by simone weil. or one of the 10,000 papers from Academia i have saved for "later." my next fiction book will probably be. piranesi? or moby dick, the whale weekly folks look like they're having fun.

Current obsession: i just started trying in earnest to play pathologic again so if that goes well i expect it to take over my life for the next 3-6 months. otherwise. knitting and crochet. half my wips are in time out for reasons of Need To Wash Them but check out this lace scarf i'm working on

[jedi-bird]

You know what? Since I'm procrastinating going to sleep and this memory popped into my head, it's story time.

A long time ago, I made a joke that reading fanfic saved my life. Only it really wasn't a joke. I meant it to be, just so no one would worry about me. But in reality, it was very much the truth.

After my mom died, I didn't know how to cope. I wasn't allowed to openly mourn ("think of your grandfather," family would say, scolding me, "he lost his daughter, which is much worse than you losing your mom.") I wasn't allowed to talk to anyone about it, except for my partner (later spouse who is still just as awesome and wonderful as they were then). I wasn't given any time to come to terms with anything. I was a full time caretaker for my grandfather. I just kind of existed in a state of numbness and bad thoughts.

Add to that having to deal with my stepfather again for the first time in years. Between him blaming me for her dying and him trying to convince me to move in with him and be his new wife, I didn't want to be here anymore.

At the time, I had very few friends with similar interests to me. But I had seen a few pics of characters I liked pop up on social media and I decided one night while unable to sleep to go looking online. It was the first time I had actual access to the internet too, so it felt like a sign. I wasn't on tumblr yet, but I did find it and lurked for a while back before you needed an account.

Then I found ao3. I can't describe the feeling that first click brought forth.

At the time, it was summer and our air conditioner was broken. We had no money, so I would sleep with my window partway open. Because of the cost cutting measures my grandpa took when having them installed when I was a kid, they only opened about three inches. Now, unless you walked right up to my window, you wouldn't know it was open; the seam was low enough that the opening wasn't visible. And my room was in the front of the house so I would know immediately if anyone came up; I could hear everything out there and was a light sleeper at the time because of being a caretaker.

My stepfather, who turned into a stalker for a few years, would drive down to our house in the middle of time night. How do I know? He let it slip once while berating me for my mom yet again. But also, I knew what his car sounded like. I lived in fear of it, because next he would walk around the corner where my room was and try to peek in the windows (I had blackout curtains nailed to the frame so that was impossible). And once he realized my window was partly open, he'd sometimes whisper my name. So here I'd be, laying a dark room, trying to ignore him, trying to pretend I was asleep. I knew he couldn't get in. And yes, I should have called the police. But years of abuse and mental and emotional beatdowns made me think I wasn't allowed to.

The third time this happened, while I was quietly having a panic attack, I remembered ao3. And since my phone didn't produce enough light to be seen through the curtain, I would pop in some earplugs and just read until the sun came to. Because once it got close to morning he'd leave so the neighbors wouldn't become suspicious.

I didn't sleep much that year. But I read a ton. Most of those fics I can't find anymore and sometimes I'm sad about that. But they also did their job and kept me going. They sparked an obsession and reminded me just how much I used to love writing. I started pulling out notebooks again and writing in spare moments. I read voraciously anything with my favorite characters in it. I learned what I did and didn't like in fiction. I joined tumblr and ao3 within the same week and never looked back.

Fandom, though I don't interact with much of it, kept me alive. Fanfic saved my life with distractions and entertainment. It still keeps me going, though I don't read as much as I used to (time makes it hard some weeks, since I'm always busy lately). I'm no longer in the same place and my stalker no longer tries to contact me; and even if they did, they wouldn't be able to get to our house. I still love the same characters that got me through that darkness. I still feel a sense of comfort reading fics about them. Life is better. Not perfect and definitely a struggle sometimes, but I'm here and I will keep being here.

And that's all that matters.

[self-loathing-angel-of-thursday2]

Beautiful Spouse’s Rewatch Thoughts SPN 09x18 Meta Fiction

“Let’s watch slutty men on TV”

Cain and Abel: The First Brothers

“They had the same daddy” “I don’t quite understand this human blood thing” He’s basically a junkie now

“What does it do to him? Makes him more human?” He gets feelings and shit. 

“I guess I would have figured it out if I waited 8 seconds”

That’s usually how it works

“CASA BLANK-A” “What’s up with the work boots?” “Does it say Packing Slip Encloser-ed? It’s es I guess” “I remember this guy dying” “That’s a good eye flick” “Is this how we’re going to paint our driveway?” IF you want to alienate our neighbors more, sure

Laughter

“Then just have like a little speaker with the exorcism being spoken every time there’s motion detected” “Who’s Snooki?” She was on Jersey Shore

“Is she the real one?” yeah

“Not a very good actor” “Idk. Not my thing. I guess everyone’s got a type” “It’s getting crazy” He’s reading Little Women

“That’s a lot of shopping bags” “So is a capybara a large rodent?” “I mean you’ve got a book to finish. Get back to work” “I suppose they’re on point with the music” “Might be rehab time” “He’s not entirely accurate - the Challenger Deep is the deepest part of the Mariana Trench” “I mean he kinda is” “Don’t they want to fkn kill this guy? I suppose he doesn’t have the blade yet” “yeah” “excuse me?” Then laughter

“That would be a yes” “yup” “Isn’t that obvious?” “Can’t he just demon-punch the vending machine or something?” “that was convenient” “oh god” “Which one of them has a thing with the old ladies? I thought it was Sam, but she’s really giving Dean the business” I mean who wouldn’t give Dean the business

“Is the mint on the pillow for morning or evening? I just eat them when I see it” “Is any scotch good? I don’t like scotch” “people they kicked out then?” “Just him casually reading a porno. I mean, why not? He reads it for the articles” “the fuck is going on? Just walk into it. No worries” “Don’t bother asking question” “It looks like that one Russian museum we went to. Minus the vampires” “Is that a fkn word even?” “who else said that? Said they were all librarians” Dorothy

“Is there some sort of significance? You’ll tell me later right?” “the fuck? I need that spell. Just disappear people” gay

“Why’d you say that?” Companions are gay

“Oh shit he just got kidnapped. Nice” laughter

“Is he hulking out or some shit?” “cooking? Oh it’s a spell” I mean cooking is spellwork

“Just throw the bowl. It’s easy” “what the hell? He’s Men of Letters; you can’t use him for anything? Holy shit” “Is he going to stab him 37 times? Or 66 times? What’s the magic number?” “nope. Not going to stab him extra” “They fucked up the white balance. Unless it’s snowing out” “to be fair, repainting that would be a lot of work” “Donkey teeth. I like that” “that way he can carry a little ass around in his pocket” “

Beautiful Spouse’s Rewatch Thoughts SPN 09x17 Mother’s Little Helper

Bitch you could’ve made your own food

“Who’s killing who here?” “My question was answered in 2 seconds” “You better eat her fkn meatloaf” “It’s not hard to make a meatloaf, right? Outside of improper cooking” there’s a reason why I buy our meatloaf from the store

“Weird”

“Oh” 🎶saving people hunting things🎶

This is the one that Misha Collins directed

“Where the hell are they?” Illinois I think

“He sounds pretty Canadian to be in Illinois” “uh huh” “calling Crowley or what?” “what the fuck” “something definitely turned up before morning” “this is one of those cases where I’d leave the knife in the hand” laughter

“Huh” laughter

“Never caught that before” “what the hell” laughter

“God he’s weird as fuck” “am I supposed to know who she is?” SHe’s a famous lady that I don’t remember who she is

“Depends on the toast” “Does it say sluts on the pinball machine?” “I don’t understand how that’s complicated” Leaving the church is a complicated matter since it takes a lot to become a nun

“hahah”

“Apparently, they didn’t try sand blasting” “it’s because of shit like this, I just always assume there’s weird stuff going on in a church” “well fuck” “on the other hand, it could be propaganda for how cool it is to be a nun” “that’s some backstory. Idk if I ever remembered that” laughter

“How do you not laugh at shit like that?” “doesn’t he want Crowley dead? Or he’s still using him. Oh he doesn’t have the blade yet” laughter

“Quick enough for the first one but not the second one? Jeez” “panty waisted?” “ah there ya go” “well shit” “alright there we go” “this was a pretty good episode I guess. Almost felt like two” “what the fuck” 

“There’s like 3 story lines going on in this episode” “as if we need the music to make it more obvious”

Beautiful Spouse’s Rewatch Thoughts SPN 09x18 Meta Fiction

“Oh shit it’s Metatron” “It’s your mom” nipple

“On his arm?” No we saw his nipple! Lol

“Yup” “since when does Cas get distracted by anything? But I suppose it’s his favorite coat” “technology” “mixed in too many early reflections in the reverb” laughter

“I don’t know why that’s funny” laughter “oh that’s funny” “that was easy” “that’s a cool light fixture. Idk if I’ve ever want one but it’s cool” “is every hunter packing griffin feathers? I saw the sign on the door you must have griffin feathers” “what the hell” and laughter

“He says brother but I don’t know if he means by family” They’re angels so he’s like a big brother

“Is this season about parallel storylines? Each episode you catch equal of both sides. Idk if it’s correct or not” Every season is a parallel storyline

“It says OPEN.” pimpmobile

“You should know better than to bring denim to a leather fight” “oh got me” “I didn’t see that coming. That was good” “you can’t because we’re fucked if you do ? Or it’s impossible for you to fail?” “OHhhh. He’s reliving it” “isn’t that show kinda full of continuity errors? They’re not that bad, but I’m not good at picking up on them” “what the fuck” “underwear models” laughter

“That was good” “heh” “hair cut” “like a death cult or something?” “how are we supposed to trust an angel any more than a stupid demon?” “careful with your feet! Don’t break the thing” “the seven looked kinda like a symbol instead of a seven” “oh shit” “I still don’t understand why they’re mad at each other” “They keep lying to each other” “Gadreel just heard all of that” “is he just going to laugh it off somehow?” “where can I get me some holy oil?” “hell of a show” “Jesus fuck” “I don’t know what that means” You used to have to pay to make a phone call

“Oh payphone. Doesn’t this show take place in the 2000s? Why are we talking about payphone?” “This guy is so fkn full of himself” “what was that room set up for in the beginning of the episode?” Finding angels I think

“Is he working for Metatron?” No, Cas isn’t working for Metatron

“Fkn loud man” “is this the end of the season?” We’re getting close

[safespaceforfandomhate]

Everything Wrong With Fandoms (My Review)

**REPOSTED FROM 2019**

I want to make something very clear here. I feel the need to say this openly. Tumblr seems to be a big hangout area for a little something called “fandoms,” and I decided to give my review based on both what other people have observed and my own personal experiences. So people have probably been wondering why I put “no fandom blogs” in my description, and I decided to explain in detail. Now I won’t make this a long ramble of meaningless chitchat, so let’s cut to the chase, shall we?

*They’re obnoxious. I don’t say this lightly. They are so obnoxious that they are practically violent. If you don’t ship their ship, they will kill you, threaten to kill you, or tell you to kill yourself. If you don’t agree with the characters or the theme, they will kill you, threaten to kill you, et cetera, et cetera, you get the idea. The Rose Tyler fans in the Doctor Who fandom have a huge reputation for being like this (although some people have said that the Sonic fandom is by far the most toxic). They’re full of little immature 14-year old fangirls that gush over certain hot actors and shame anyone that disagrees with them. (David Tennant fans, anyone?) Even worse, they send death threats to the spouses/significant others of the actors on the show because they’re in the way of their precious “ship” and other pathetic reasons. These young fangirls throw their ship and actor couples in your face and down your throat, which almost makes the subject of fandom-ism a religion. More on that later.

*They’re stalkers. Again, I don’t say this lightly. Basically, all the adults in these communities keep trackers on their blogs, special extensions that literally track a person’s IP address (because having a device that leads you to a person’s physical house gives them more beneficial power than simply turning the anon feature off, apparently). This happened to us last summer when my good friend committed suicide after a suspicious figure was seen in our neighborhood, lurking around and searching for her. She thought she was doing everyone a favor. This individual was bound to kill her eventually, so she saved them the trouble. They were most likely there for her. She already knew she would never be good enough or accepted by the fandom world, and this situation just made things worse for her. Going back to the Rose Tyler fans in the Doctor Who fandom: they had told her to kill herself, threatened to hurt her family, and even had the gall to say she deserved to get raped. She lost it. I know no one here on Tumblr ever knew her, so I don’t expect anyone here to care about the well-being of a total stranger, but I’m sharing it here because she mattered to ME. Trackers are illegal, but Tumblr obviously has no objection to fandom communities keeping them on their pages, so I guess stalking is okay in this sense.

*Pride. They pride themselves constantly. It’s their biggest strength. They say they are the best fandom ever, adding “deal with it” or “accept it” at the end. They work hard on their art and fan fiction just to make sure it’s better than everyone else’s. It’s a big competition. Who is more popular than who, and no matter what anyone tells you, there are always those people that get the most followers and attention and you just want to be exactly where they are and you never will be, no matter how hard you try. Quite simply, the definition of fandom is “popularity contest.” And might I add “to the extreme” at the end? They are only the best fandom ever to specific people: their own members.

*It’s a losing battle. The best solution is to give in to them. If they tell you to do something or make threats, do as they say. Don’t fight it. It’s about making THEM happy, not you. If you obey their whim, then everyone is happy. They win. Better to keep the community together than try to break it apart with petty arguments. Besides, they all know each other. They’re all friends. They will defend their friends at all costs because that’s all they care about. No outsiders allowed. No use expecting fandoms to defend you for anything if you’re not in their group. If you are new to the fandom, good luck. You’re screwed. You came into a group of people you don’t know, and they don’t know you, so the best thing to expect is odd looks and hate messages in your inbox. You’ve basically walked in on a discussion among close-knit cult buddies.

*Spoiler alert. If you are interested in seeing a show, there is no need, since the fans will spoil it for you. They go on and on about characters and plot and have no regard for other people’s experiences. Seriously. They don’t even tag their posts. They are obsessed. Everything they post goes over the top. Why even bother watching the show if you already know what’s going to happen? I watched the first two seasons of Supernatural many moons ago, and that was as far as I got. Unfortunately, I already know who everyone is and what happens throughout, so there is absolutely no reason to call myself a fan or a member of the fandom. You can say that they just lost one member, but for any fandom, it doesn’t really matter, since one member is just one member. They still have a whole lot of other members to worry about.

*It’s basically a religion. I mentioned this in the above statement, where people obsess and go overboard with their beliefs, trying to convert all non-religious beings in their presence over to their practice because it is the only “right” one. All they talk about is this one thing and how amazing and wonderful it is. (I am not religious, by the way, as I also say in my description). If you are in Fandom X, you have to make everything you create about Fandom X and nothing else. Work has to solely focus on THAT fandom. My friend had this crossover fanfiction where she combined different fandoms, and no matter what she wrote, it wasn’t good enough. No one understood what she was even writing about, so she ended up making her own separate fandom out of it, where she and I were the only members. I know how hard it is to not belong and not fit in when your imagination is different from normal people. I miss her every day, and I only wish I could have done more to save her. She would probably still be alive today if it weren’t for fandoms. They can be toxic places, which is why I have chosen to steer clear of them. In honor of my friend, I promise to never associate myself with any type of fan-related blog or individual for the rest of my life, and I know she will be proud of me.

So there you have it. My two cents. I know it was a lot to read, but you hung in there and I applaud you. Hopefully, this will answer a lot of people’s questions and help them understand the situation. I completely oppose fandoms at all costs, and just the word itself is enough to send up all kinds of emotional triggers in my mind. Anyone that has a fandom blog on Tumblr is not welcome in this space, period. No excuses. I have turned the anon feature off to make sure that whoever talks to me is a real person, not a grey face. I need to know for sure who I am speaking to before I answer any asks. If you want to practice your fan-religion and whatnot, I’m totally cool with that, but leave your madness on your own blog and keep it out of this corner. Thank you very much and enjoy the rest of your day.

My overall rating for fandoms: 1 star (out of 5)

[ukyokuonji]

Rip, I'm screaming rn. Anon that asked me like a month ago what my name is, I thought I answered and realized I didn't and answered on mobile today and somehow lost the ask, so lmao here is both my name and a mini landing page as I am working on my current landing page!!

Quick about, byf/dni, and things to tag.

Again my landing page is a wip, should be here soon!! Mayybe under a cut who knows I'm on mobile.

[Icon ID: Akane from the 2024 Ranma 1/2. She is scowling and wearing a yellow shirt-dress reading "Caribbean Sea." End ID]

About

Call me Ami or Katara!! I'm 20 (almost 21), a fat disabled queer nb woc (no being non-binary and a woman of color is not an oxymoron). I use she/they pronouns.

I'm latine and desi! I live in the US (New England lmao 😔) which like I don't think is important then I find out that some of my mutuals are canadian or british or something and I lose my mind.

Puedo hablar español pero tengo difícil escribiendo en español. Y entiendo que eso no tiene sentido porque leer en español es más fácil de leer en inglés. Pero cuando estoy escribiendo en inglés estoy pensando de las reglas de español, y en español estoy pensando con las reglas de inglés 🙃. My extent of speaking in any sort of desi language is saying hi, bye, "I don't know", "hurry up", food names, and family titles in my family's language. And even then I mess up because my cousins are all married now (and have been for years) and I'm meeting their spouses now and being told there's a word for sister's husband, I don't have to call them bhai, and yeah

[ID: A person sitting on the ground holding their face in their arms. Their eyes are closed, and their mouth is open as if screaming. End ID]

Before you follow/Do Not Interact

DNI

- General DNI criteria (racist, homophobic, transphobic, radfem/terf, misogynistic, islamophobic, anti-semitic, xenophobic, pedo apologist, incest shipper/apologist, etc.)

- If you "age up" fictional characters who are minors to write smut fics about them.

- Can't think critically about the media you consume, and think that popular pieces of media/fiction doesn't affect reality

- If you ship real people

- If you support jkr in any way, shape, or form

BYF

- Minors can follow, but would appreciate it if you're 14 or older. I say this as someone who's been on tumblr since before the age of 14, and am hoping to impart some of my wisdom onto you

- I'm super critical of all my media interests, and very vocal about pieces of media/characters I don't like! If that bothers you, don't follow!!

- I hate t*ylor sw*ft. I'm a classical musician and I actually have a lot of reasons both of just her music and how she presents herself to the public. Yeah I hate her 😘

- I don't really have a tagging system, (I'm trying but it's hard) so if you like neatness, dont follow!! Will tag trigger warnings tho!! Ask if you need something tagged.

- I try and reblog images/videos with descriptions, but that's hard and time consuming so sometimes I don't. If you see me like a post of yours and it doesn't get reblogged for like four months that's because I started writing an ID, got interrupted, and saved it as a draft and haven't had a chance to finish it.

Things to tag

- General triggers (violence, death, assault, racism, etc)

- Flashing lights

- Sharks

- Clowns

Yeah thanks!!

[ID: An edited screencap of Anakin Skywalker from Revenge of the Sith. He is in a spaceship, and his profile is visible. He has a communicator headset on, and is speaking into it with a smirk. The caption reads "This is where the fun begins." On the left side of his face is a semi-transparent behind-the-scenes photo of Hayden Christensen dressed as Anakin. His hair is messy and stuck to his forehead, his gaze is downward and dull, his lips are in a tight line. He looks defeated. End ID]

[absolutepokemontrash]

The Brothers and Side Characters Play the Sims

I don’t know what possessed me to make this but WHATEVER. I’ve been playing the Sims since I was a wee little girl, and I’ve seen my fair share of weird Sims stuff that I feel would fit these bozos perfectly.

My Sims have a Functional Family Life Because I Don’t (Lucifer)

God dammit Levi’s obsessed with another game... ugh.

Spends 5 minutes in Create-a-Sim and hops into a starter home.

Lucifer’s the type to start with all the average stuff and then build their stuff up as his sim gets promotions.

It’s just... so peaceful...

...he’s adopting a dog.

Look at his new little virtual family... his sim-kids are self sufficient and getting A’s in school, his Sim spouse MC or Diavolo take your pick loves his Sim-self, his sim-dog-

WAIT NO- THE DOG’S AN ELDER?!

AAAAAAAAAAAAA-

...

He’s fine. It was just a virtual dog. *sniffle*

He’s now spending his free time drinking Demonus and playing the Sims.

What’s a mod? Levi why does your sim have gun?

Behold, My Gorgeous Home... It’s a Box (Mammon)

Mammon, like the rest of the HOL, is mooching off of Levi’s Origin account.

“AW SHIT! This house looks awesome! I’m gonna build it for Sim-me to live in!”

Mammon proceeds to build a box with rooms. Yay...

He just picks the funnest sounding job if he picks any job at all for his Sim. That’s how he ended up making 9 dollars an hour in the criminal career.

Didn’t stop Mammon from buying that solid gold bathroom set from Get Famous... a box with solid gold bathrooms.

His Sim is broke send help-

“Leviiiiiii my sim needs money... the people my sim kidnapped and is forcing to paint aren’t making enough money...” “Ugh... press control shift C and type ‘motherlode’.”

...Levi made a mistake.

“FUCK YEAH! MOTHERLODE!”

His sim’s life is so chaotic, he has a piranha pool that his sim has almost died in twice, the sim is carrying on several torrid love affairs, his sim got struck by lightning, his sim has nearly died in a grilled cheese making accident twice... in the same day.

At least once Sim-Mammon and Sim-MC get married things calm down a little.

Mammon finds out what custom content is and proceeds to download EVERYTHING HE CAN FIND.

And now he’s asking Levi why his computer is running so slow.

Expansion Pack King (Leviathan)

He got into it back when the Sims 2 was new, he’s a veteran fan.

“Bro remember when Agnes Crumplebottom would show up and whack the shit out of your sims if they were flirting?”

“Remember when that witch would show up randomly on the lot you were on if you had Makin’ Magic?”

“Remember when Bella Goth was abducted by aliens and we just... didn’t question it?”

He whines about the Sims4 and how crappy it is but still buys every expansion pack, game pack, and stuff pack.

This boy watches like 40 hours of built tutorials and ends up sobbing over his weird roofs.

“WHY DOESN’T IT LOOK AS NICE AS THE ONE I’M LOOKING AT?! THIS ISN’T FAIR!”

The mod folder is so full istg-

Levi gets custom content for the sole purpose of making his favourite fictional characters.

This is why Henry and the Lord of Shadows are married and Ruri-chan and Sim-Levi are roommates.

Oh my god they were roommates-

Levi also added his brothers to the world and uh... Sim-Mammon died in a tragic pool accident F.

Levi then proceeded to befriend the Grim Reaper.

He’s anxiously awaiting the release of Paralives.

Wait Gameplay? In This Build Simulator? (Satan)

Satan’s here to build and leave. Gameplay who?

Our favourite bundle of rage is a master architect and the amount of followers on the Gallery he has shows it.

He takes up those build shell challenges and always ends up making them look positively perfect.

Asmo’s always using his houses, and Satan often takes requests when he gets bored.

No Mammon, he reserves the right to refuse to build a golden castle for you- YOUR SIM HAS 40 SIMOLEONS-

No mods, no CC, he’s building with what EA gave him.

...and EA gave him debug objects, and he’s not going to explain how to get them.

The one time he did actually play with a family... it was one sim and seven cats.

He tries to play without cheats... and ends up getting frustrated and turns on cheats.

All hail the Pets Expansion Pack.

Custom Content Soap Opera (Asmodeus)

Asmo spends 5 hours in Create a Sim then just... clicks out of the game.

That’s how it goes most of the time, buuuuuut when he gets super invested in a family he’s made, boy howdy is he INVESTED.

Sim A is carrying on an affair with Sim C who’s in love with Sim B who’s married to Sim A but Sim D wants to kill Sim A and C even though they’re the illegitimate child of Sim C-

When Asmo realizes that in the Sims 4 he needs to manufacture all the drama himself and he can’t just sit back with a glass of wine and watch the fireworks, he switches to the Sims 2 and 3.

“...why is this old lady beating up my Sim..?”

He immediately recoils in horror upon seeing how ugly the Sims are pre Sims4.

HE NEEDS TO FIX THIS-

Ah, there we go, perfect. Custom Content to the rescue!

He ends up remaking the entire world just so he doesn’t have to look at weird looking Sims.

Asmo is the only one to have finished a proper Legacy Challenge, but it gets crazy chaotic after gen 3.

“My sim just got abducted by aliens and now he’s pregnant- WHAT?!”

He has about 40 saves and only two he actually plays.

Just a Big Ol’ Happy Family (Beelzebub)

Beel found the game, proceeded to make everyone in create-a-sim to the best of his abilities, and made everyone get along.

That’s why Sim-Lucifer and Sim-Belphie are on a swing set together, they’re friends :D

“Hey Luke do you think you can make this?” “I-is that a cake shaped like a hamburger?” “Yes. Please make.”

He took one look at the cooking options and decided to max out his Sim’s cooking skill to unlock all the options.

Beel proceeded to drool all over his keyboard. Gross...

Boy howdy did he have some crazy dinner suggestions!

Overall, very wholesome Sim-life, except for the time Sim-Levi died because the toilet caught fire, don’t worry, Sim-Beel knows how to make ambrosia.

All is good in the Sim save...

...until Sim-Beel ate pufferfish nigiri and fuckin died-

Wait Did I Not Pause- (Belphie)

Huh, this game looks fine... I’ll play for a little- *SNORE*

Belphie makes some sims, plops them into a starter home, plays for an hour, then falls asleep.

He wakes up five hours later to absolute carnage.

Three sims have died because someone decided to make Mac and Cheese and the oven caught fire, the kids were taken away by social services, and the dog ran away.

“...heheh, holy shit everyone look.”

He doesn’t play often, but when he does, death occurs. He has found out every death method for every game from Sims 2 to 4.

And that INCLUDES the Sims Medieval! You guys remember that game?

Sometimes it’s not intentional, but Belphie got bored with the totally normal life his sims were living and decided to spice it up.

“Why are the ghosts breaking my showers..?”

Help There’s a Bug- (Diavolo)

The Crown Prince started playing when he noticed Lucifer was playing it.

He was immediately obsessed.

Dia mostly plays the Sims Medieval because he likes the feeling of achievement after completing a quest!

“Barbatos... why isn’t my Sim completing their task? The icon won’t show up.” “My lord it appears the game is bugged.” “:(“

No one thought to tell Diavolo that EA doesn’t plan on offering bug support to a game made in like... 2009

This doesn’t matter! Look at how great his kingdom is doing- oh no his hero has the plague-

He plays through the Pirates and Nobles expansion and manages to get the peaceful ending, he’s so proud of himself.

“MC! Look! My Monarch’s sword is permanently on fire and I’m fighting an evil wizard!”

When he does play the other Sims games he’s pretty basic, though, he does a great job at furnishing!

Dia gets crazy sad when his Sims die... he turns off aging.

Builder no. 2 (Barbatos)

Barbie doesn’t have time for this... but when he does, he builds.

No create a sim.

No playing the game as intended.

Just builds.

It’s relaxing, okay? A nice little suburban house he’s never going to play in, maybe a treehouse, maybe a big Hollywood Mansion...

The only time he actually plays the game outside of build mode is when someone needs his help to fix something in-game.

He does download custom content build items if he feels bored by the current selection.

Oh Crap What Am I Doing?! (Simeon)

Help him. Please.

He’s so confused.

“Luke, why is my sim upset?” “He’s hungry, Simeon.” “Oh, how do I fix that?” “...Simeon-”

There’s a toilet in the middle of the living room.

The fridge is facing the wall.

There’s no bathtub or shower.

The house is on fire- there is no god- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Okay, once he gets the hang of it he’s sitting pretty. His sims have good jobs, the kids are getting good grades, everything’s fine.

...

But Simeon won’t forget the nightmares.

What Even is This Save? (Solomon)

Solomon’s save is the definition of chaos.

One sim’s a vampire, the other is a spellcaster that really wants to fight the Callientes for some reason, there’s one normal sim that’s always sick for some reason,

It gets weird, confusing, and horrible.

Just how Solomon likes it.

His house makes no sense, like, what even is architecture?

Money cheats are needed because Solomon‘a goal of chaos and confusion is proving to be kind of expensive.

Square up Mortimer Goth, Solomon’s sims are here to steal your weird knight statue that’s worth a shit ton of simoleons for NO REASON.

He joined the scientist career for the sole purpose of getting to the alien planet and kidnapping adding an alien to the household via cheats.

The vampire ended up dying on their wedding day because Solomon forgot that he gave them the sun weakness.

Oh well, the ghost got added to the household! VAMPIRE GHOST!

The Child (Luke)

Before you say Luke’s too young to play the Sims, you should know that I was nine when I first started playing, and I turned out fiiiiiiiiiine.

He’s just happy to be playing.

Look, his sims are gardening :D

Look, two of them are getting married :D

Look, they had a baby :D

Look, his sims are building a rocket ship :D

Look, his sims’s rocket just crashed-

The concept of death hit the little angel right in the face that day.

“*sniffle*... my sims...”

Don’t worry, with tears in his eyes, Luke quit without saving and everything was fine!

Speaking of My Sims, Luke played MySims Sky Heroes and that was when Luke had his first bout of gamer rage.

MC came over to hang out with Solomon and Simeon, and in the distance they could just hear:

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY TIME WASN’T FAST ENOUGH TO CONTINUE THE STORY!? I’LL SHOW YOU FAST ENOUGH TIME!”

Okay, maybe Simeon should take the game away... just for a bit... he should take heed not to be bitten by the incredibly angry chihuahua.

Bonus:

MC: Why are our Sims married?

*Insert Boy Here*: Uh... that’s weird... I have no clue why they’re doing that...

[crossovereddie]

Thoughts on 11x12 Series Finale

Okay I’m wine drunk and teary still so this might not make any sense but does it ever really make sense?

Kev is so dumb lmao

He’s that we’re the millers meme

Please someone get franny and Liam out of there

EMT Ian

How are they all still shocked by the shit Mickey says

Fuck this new girl I want Sandy

Carl is me needing coffee

This girl is so unnecessary this is the dumbest thing why would they even write her in

GET YOUR KID DEBBIE

pat pat

Mickey you’re not subtle

Good thing your husband is a himbo

He’s so sweet :((((((

Debbie and lip are annoying. Throw Tami in there too

MICKEY

Let my baby take the potato masher he needs it

Liam 😂

I actually really like the Mickey Debbie dynamic

He’s used to having a little sister to piss off :((((

Lip go back to college challenge

Not me triggered by this pregnancy lmaoooo

Kate’s bump :(

GOOD MEMORIES STAINED INTO THIS ONE

The 21st :((((((((((((

The glare lmao

WHY DO YOU HAVE THIS GIRL AROUND YOUR CHILD

Okay since Debbie is a fictional character am I allowed to mom shame her or are y’all gonna come for me

Who tf does that

Save franny

Just looking at those drinks Kev is making is making my stomach churn oh god 🤢

You can���t just call it a toilet?

Oh god don’t pick up a used mask 😩

RIP patsys

Oh my god now I’m thinking of CG

This job is actually perfect for dumbass Carl 😂😂

That’s so LA I fucking hate that they couldn’t film in Chicago 😭😭😭

I hope brad has a good life

Mickey makes his decisions based on blowjob capability

HUSBAND

GET MY ASS IN THAT POSITION YOU LIKE

Fuck this lady

FIGHT HER IAN

Mickey’s face lmao

HIS LITTLE CLAP GIVE YOUR HUSBAND SOME PIZZA IAN

He’s baby

SAVE FRANNY

DEBBIE IS THE WORST

Y’all I would be just as angry as Kev HOW DARE YOU PUT THEM IN OTHER JERSEYS THAN YOUR TEAMS

BURN THEM KEV

THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH GEOGRAPHY

IM WITH KEV ON THIS ONE

Wtf kinda tip is that

Carl looking out

This is pissing me tf off

Lip you’re so fucking smart please do something with it my gosh

This fucking asshole HE JUST MAKE YOU LOTS OF MONEY WTF

V just adopt Liam please

They’re gonna cook in their new apartment :((((

MICKEY IN LEATHER KINKY MF

CRIB

GIVE THEM A BABY

This was too much

HIS FACE IS TOO MUCH

I literally sobbed out “you’d be the best dad!!” And J just sighed and hugged me 😭😭😭😭

He’s over my shit but he cares I guess lmao

His fault for buying the wine

YOU WOULD NEVER BABY

YOU BOTH ARE GONNA BE THE BEST DADS

YOURE GONNA BE A GREAT DAD

This is the best comfort hug GIVE US MORE ANGLES COWARDS

Oh no the flashbacks are too much

Wait he has covid?

I didn’t catch that first time

I love a good pretend to forget an anniversary and surprise spouse

IANS LITTLE ONE YEAR AGO TODAY

he was so upset

I LOVE THIS MAN

ME TOO

MICKEYS SMILE

He’s so proud of himself

LAST EVER THUMB CARESS 😭😭😭😭😭

Is the band playing at last 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Omfg Kermit and tommy lmao

Why am I in love with this nurse

MICKEY DANCING I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

We all know Ian had zero doubts

OH MY GOD GIVE THIS MAN A BABY ITS WHAT HE WANTS

To raise a baby with his baby

This brothers scene made me 🥺🥺🥺

Now I miss my brother 🥺🥺🥺

This would’ve been a perfect I should probably go dance with my husband

this scene :(

THEYRE BEING SILLY HUSBANDS TOGETHER

Liam :(

I wanna watch them be husbands forever

Ian always has to hold

So much singing this season

Goodbye sweet nurse you’ll always have my heart

The letter omfg

MICKEY AND CARL

MICKEY AND LIAM

We just needed Mickey and lip and it would’ve been the holy trinity

I don’t know how I feel about frank floating

Also they should’ve warned me when the last ever Mickey shot was

Of course that happened lmao

Overall? I feel good about the way it ended. I’m not sad. Or it just hasn’t hit me. Oh god I miss Mickey already oh god oh god oh god

[cowandcalf]

Hey Babe, would you answer #7 and #10 for the 2022 Writer Asks for me? :)

Thank you so much for the ask, babe! Yay! I love to answer them for you.

#7 Planning to read any specific books this year? Yes, indeed, I do. I have so many books written by military people or military spouses. Reports based on experience, mission reports, tales from the training ground of Trident K9 Warriors (Navy SEAL canines), and also fiction written by a former Navy SEAL. I have all of the books written by Jocko Willink, a retired Navy SEAL, and I also bought all of the books written by Admiral William H. McRaven. Soooo many books. I see a book they discuss on an Insta account or in a podcast, I buy it. I just want to have it. And my collection grows. So, I have three books I definitely plan to read this year. I made a picture for you. Currently, I'm still reading 'No Easy Day' by Marc Owen, the mission that killed Osama Bin Laden. But what I'm really interested in reading are the books by Jack Carr, a former Navy SEAL and now he's writing fiction. I don't have much time to read because the free time I have is used to writing my own stories. But I'm so curious about how Jack Carr goes about the story. And here are the books I plan to read this year:

#10 Planning to try anything new this year? No, nothing significantly new. It's more about exploring certain depths and adding more layers to my stories. My writing still needs polishing grammar-wise, vocabulary-wise. I have a great English teacher and I take private lessons. She's retired and I have a lesson twice a month this year. There's so much I need to catch up, get better, write with a bigger variety. And there is always my vocabulary that needs to get bigger. I feel how my writing gets smoother, has a certain flow. I definitely have a style. I want to try shorter stories, rich and dense, moments that aren't so common, maybe a different angle on a scene. I'm not good at writing case fics. That's not my cup of tea. But what I love is the magical world. That's where my heartbeat ups wildly. The current story I'm writing has something new. Normally. I write about the coming together - friends to lovers. Now, I write McDanno in an established relationship. And the main part is not their emotions and how they come together. The main part is the mission they have to fulfill. Their love is a huge part and it is like a guiding light throughout the entire story. But the story is also a huge adventure and at the same time, they have to save the world. It's complex, complicated, and magical-wise tricky to get it right. And that's new, my focus lies on the action, and Steve and Danny are together but there's tension and angst, fluff and smut. A new mix. I guess those things I want to explore this year. Fanfiction is my playground and there are so many things I haven't even touched. One day I want to write a SEAL story, based on military life and although I read a lot of those specific books the vocabulary isn't there yet, not completely and it's still scary to even think about it.

Thank you so much for the asks, babe. I don't really think about it a lot but now, with the questions, I had to reflect and that was a very good thing. All the love back at you <3.

Link to the 2022 Writer Asks

[divagonzo]

Little bit of Ace History***

... for those who are doing headcanons for Pride month.

*** History being from the last generation. So... recent history.

***************

While Asexual was in the grad school text books, it was, as a queer orientation, on the fringes for considerably longer than Gay/Lesbian/Bi/Trans. It wasn’t spoken of except in queer spaces and even then, it was more of an after-thought. Like the Mesopotamians (and Mayans independently) - people couldn’t and, somewhat, can’t fathom those who don’t feel sexual attraction (or those who don’t feel romantic attraction or some who have no attraction romantically or sexually.)

Since society is built on populations, the presumption that everyone wants sex or engages in it and those who don’t are aberrant - is a hindrance to those of us who don’t feel it (or, like some, like the idea in theory but not in practice, or those who it’s once in a lifetime (my spouse) or those who have to know someone for a long period of time before thinking, “Would I consider getting physical with them?” (aka Me!) or those who have sexual repulsion - and they are as valid as anyone else under the Asexual spectrum umbrella.)

Asexual was, originally, under the Bisexual umbrella - and like many Bi people of the earlier eras (and sadly still happening) being told they aren’t queer enough for A) The community and B) not Gay enough to be included. (Hence my absolute loathing to gatekeepers for having gone through it back in the early 90s!) Toss in the derision towards bi/pan people who “are selfish/greedy/can’t make up their mind / teases / etc” and you have a boiling pot of potential gatekeeping, especially for those who could really use some informational resources so they know that they aren’t broken & nothing is wrong with how they are.

Yes, Asexual was listed on the fringes but it wasn’t until the early Naughts that the word even made it to notice - much less being more accepted openly. But the biggest kicker is that while being Gay was removed from the Diagnostic and Statistical Model (what is used by American Psychiatry for diagnosing not normal behavior) in 1973..... being Asexual wasn’t removed until 2013.

Yes, you read that right. 2013. The first published college text on Asexuality wasn’t published until 2012 - and written from a heterosexual white male perspective (and it’s a bit rubbish by comparison to casual anecdotes from those in the community and on AVEN. I know. I bought the book and read it.) While the elderly spinster dowager is more socially acceptable, being a man/male and being Ace in a society that says that men have to be hypersexual.... is harmful to them, too, especially when they are too hindered to be able to come out and say, “I don’t feel sexual attraction to anyone.”

Having no sexual attraction to others was considered aberrant behaviors. And for some, it still is, especially those who think that Ace people (and Aros too, y’all aren’t being forgotten!) should be sexually available to anyone and everyone - and some sods think that the attitude of “You’ve not met the right one” or “I’ll f* you to fix you” is helpful and not actively oppressive or harmful.

Obviously (insert professional quality eyeroll here) people need medications because they don’t want to f* every walking human who passes by - which is toxic even in a hypersexual society. There must be something wrong with them if they aren’t out at a bar looking for a casual hook-up / one night stand.

<shudder>

Why do I bring this up?

I read a posting and it mentioned a fictional character being out as AroAce in 1994.

Jessica Rabbit was a thing back in 1988. But the terms for her besides the negative ones weren’t there ‘til a decade later, if not longer.

While I love the idea that this knowledge was available in the era, I have to take Umbridge (while not detracting from their post) that this is vastly incorrect and harmful to those of us who lived through this era and struggled for decades (yes, I said decades) to know that being Ace is fine and dandy. It’s hard to research harder when you don’t even know a starting point to go look this information up - especially when it was mostly limited to just blooming Queer studies courses in colleges and everything was either published journals or hidden inside academic speak of graduate schools. (I took a couple of undergrad psychology classes and I went back and looked and the terms weren’t even in the books. This was 1995, for those in Rio Linda and Blackpool.)

There’s plenty of my peers who are just now coming to understand that the feelings of dissociation, loathing, guilt, apathy aren’t because they are with the wrong person. It’s performative behavior towards others and personally harmful. It’s letting people f* you so they are content when it’s personally harmful (especially if consent isn’t completely clear.

What would have been said in 1994 was that “he must be gay” even if he was dating a girl and nothing was happening physically. “She must be his beard” would have been said too if performative behaviors weren’t happening. Why? Because being Asexual wasn’t a thing in the era AT ALL. It wasn’t even considered.

Hell, even now there are people*** who will not believe you when you say that you don’t want to have sex - as men or women or non-binary. No, they must fix  you by non-consenting means & their warped logic for the resultant trauma will magically make you want to have sex with people.

Ewwww. Hell no.

I have someone I know who has been repeatedly subjected to their consent being violated when they said no - because they are Ace and people (both of the binary for this person) refused to take No for an answer and.... well, you can fill in the blanks.

Or the not funny bits of “Oh you must be a potato” and other derision of you not being potentially sexually available for other people. This especially goes for those who are Heteroromantic Ace people - like family I have.

I was the first one they came out to, because I’ve been pretty loud about it in SM spaces. They felt safe to say such to me, especially with an, “OK. Cool” reply to it.

I didn’t want them to struggle mentally and emotionally (when they were already neurodivergent) thinking something was wrong with them by not wanting to have icky squicky physical relationships. But by being there, armed with knowledge now it saved them decades of grief and emotional turmoil.

My radical kindness is being the space the baby aces need so they can have a human resource for them, so they know they aren’t broken, that they are valid and accepted, and that they don’t have to behave in certain ways to feel accepted - especially in the queer community.

So yeah, sex might be cool but how about acceptance of people who lived in the era who didn't have the world at their fingertips to know themselves, much less the language to even have a label that fit.

[chocoluckchipz]

A Soulmate for Christmas - 3

< Previous

"Dupain-Cheng. We need to talk."

Marinette stopped breathing, sinking deeper under the desk. 

Chloe groaned and took a few steps away. "Don't make me get down there and drag you out. And next time, make sure you aren't hiding right in front of a mirror. Be thankful I didn't out you to Adrien."

Marinette glared at her reflection peeking out from a corner of the mostly covered mirror she’d failed to notice. 

"I suppose you want my gratitude for your generosity?" she huffed, climbing out of her hiding spot to face her old nemesis.

"I’ll do without, but let’s make one thing clear—I did it for Adrien, not you."

"Oh really? I fail to see how this benefits him since, you know, he wanted to find me."

Chloe smirked and looked Kagami’s way. Marinette followed her gaze, only now noticing how intently Kagami was watching her. 

"So, this is her?"

"Unfortunately."

Matching smirks on their lips, Kagami’s eyes held restrained curiosity. Chloe’s? Disbelief. 

Marinette could feel the weight of their judgement increase with each passing second. She scoffed. This crap was tiring to deal with back in the lycée. Now it wasn’t even worth the fight. "Listen, I doubt either of you want me to come in and mess up whatever thing you three have going on, so how about you tell Adrien you mistook me for someone else, the waitress he spoke to was not Marinette Dupain-Cheng, and we all walk our separate ways?"

Kagami folded her arms over her chest, arching an eyebrow. "What about Adrien?"

"What about him?"

"He’s your soulmate."

"He’s engaged to you."

"Did you hear anything we said here?"

"Didn’t have much of a choice."

"Then, you’re aware that we’re faking it. There is nothing but friendship between us."

"So I’ve heard."

"And you still want to walk away?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"She’s always been weird," Chloe snipped. "Adrien deserves better."

Marinette scoffed. "No one deserves a soulmate who humiliates them in front of the whole country."

"You can’t really pick your soulmate, you know," Kagami said. 

"But I can walk away from one who respects neither me nor our bond. Fake or not, he chose to be with you. I’m not going to interfere. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get back work." 

Kagami grabbed Marinette’s hand before she could take a step. "You don’t understand. It’s not something he’s doing because he doesn’t respect or want you. Adrien’s practically saving my life with this, risking everything he ever wanted to do so."

Marinette almost laughed. "How is fake dating saving your life, Mlle Tsurugi? Fake dating is for fiction, a good book for a lonely evening or a movie to laugh with friends about. In the real world, in our modern society, it's irrelevant. And especially for someone as powerful and influential as you. You don't need to fake date. You can just say a word and all your problems will float away."

Kagami’s grip on Marinette’s hand tightened as she seethed through her teeth. "You have no idea what you’re talking about."

"Oh, don’t I? I’ve spent enough years in the same class with Chloe to see how people in your circle solve their problems."

"You shouldn’t put everyone in the same basket." Chloe stepped in, wrapping her arm around Kagami’s shoulder. She leaned closer to Kagami, their cheeks starting to glow at the contact, Kagami’s with a bee mark, Chloe’s with a dragon. 

To say Marinette was surprised was an understatement. 

"Just because we live in different circles doesn’t mean our lives are easy or that our problems always go away with a snap of our fingers," Chloe continued. "If you want to think of me like that, fine. Whatever. But not Adrien and certainly not Kagami." 

"I still fail to see the reason why someone would need to fake date." 

Before Chloe could start talking, Kagami cut her off with a wave of her hand. "Marinette, would you mind hearing me out? If you still want to walk away after what I have to tell you, neither of us will stop you."

Perhaps, this was the quickest way to get this over with. Maybe, she was curious herself as to what was going on between the three of them. Whatever it was, Marinette pulled up a chair, sat down and waited.

Kagami settled on a couch while Chloe leaned on its arm. "I was born and raised in Japan in a very conservative family where traditions were the law and whoever broke them was excommunicated forever. When I was fifteen, my mother and I moved to France, and I got to know the more liberal approach to life the French follow. I met Adrien through our parents’ business dealings. We became friends, and for the first time ever, someone could understand me, the life I was living, and the feelings I was suppressing. He wasn’t in any better of a situation at the time, but at least I was allowed to attend a private school. Adrien was kept locked inside his mansion. Later, I met Chloe and discovered the soulmate bond we shared. I was happy for the first time in my life. That is until my mother decided I had to marry one of her business partners’ sons for the sake of the family’s interests."

"A much older male," Chloe scoffed, scratching her nose. "Disgusting."

"Fifteen years older," Kagami confirmed. "And he lives in Japan which meant I would be forced to move back and lose not only my friends but also my soulmate. I would be expected to be an obedient, silent wife for the rest of my life, confined to looking after the house and birthing as many children as my husband wished."

"Ridiculous!" Chloe huffed. "Utterly ridiculous."

Kagami patted Chloe’s hand in a comforting gesture. "Perhaps if I’d never moved to France I would have gone along with her plans without complaining. However, after I had a taste of freedom and saw how happy I can be, I knew I couldn’t give up all of this. Give up Adrien and Chloe. Give up my dreams for the future. So, I panicked and said I was already secretly dating someone and didn’t tell her only because I wanted to make sure it was serious. Mother would’ve never agreed to let me stay if that person wasn’t from her list of approved potential spouses. A list made up of very influential and wealthy people. Adrien was one of them."

"He’s on the list of every Parisian mother." Chloe huffed. "Sucks to be him."

"I couldn’t say Chloe’s name," Kagami continued. "Mother isn't against same-sex relationships, but she considers them just ‘practice’ for the ‘real ones’ because, apparently,  I need a man as a life partner."

"As I said, ridiculous."

"So, I said Adrien’s name, then begged him to play along. We never thought it would get out of our circle. We even developed a plan for how to get me out unscathed and free. Adrien and I were supposed to only play a couple until my birthday in November when I became a legal adult by Japanese law. When that happened, I started transferring my funds to accounts my mother had no access to so I could walk away freely. But that takes time, and two weeks ago she found out and demanded an explanation for the transactions. She threatened to send me back to Japan immediately if she didn’t approve of what I had in mind. The transfers weren’t done yet and she had enough influence to stop it.

"I freaked out again and said Adrien and I were getting married, so I was gathering my personal funds into my own account that I planned to join with my husband’s after the wedding. I told her we were waiting for a special occasion to announce the engagement. She wasn’t buying it. She gave me a week to prove my words. She put a hold on all the transfers until then. It was Adrien who suggested we take it to the media. That way, she wouldn't doubt us, and she’d be somewhat pressured to let me stay in France, at least for the time being. Once the article was out, my mother released the funds, and as of last night, I’m a free woman.

"No one was ever going to announce an engagement. My things are being packed as we speak while my mother and I are out of the house. I won’t be going home with her. I’m moving in with Chloe, and, thanks to Adrien, I’m not doing so without a penny to my name. Adrien never meant to hurt you. He never looked any other woman's way. All he wanted was to help a friend." 

There wasn’t much Marinette could do but remain frozen in her seat, stunned at Kagami’s words. Her defences down, she hated to admit that everything Kagami had said made sense. There was a reason. A reason good enough to justify this whole thing. She couldn't hold this against Adrien. Heck, if any of Marinette’s friends were in Kagami’s shoes, she’d be fake proposing to them too. So, if everything that Kagami had told her was true, then…

"Marinette," Kagami spoke more gently, watching her with a lot less hostility. "For as long as I’ve known Adrien, every summer, every vacation he got, he was travelling to Milan, attending every fashion show and just wandering the streets in hopes of finding you. He painted over and publicly revealed his soulmate mark only because he’s desperate at this point. His father’s been pressuring him to date for publicity for years. He gave him a break when he thought we were a couple, but that ends tonight. And let me tell you, Gabriel Agreste is not the person to care for Adrien’s feelings and desires. He’ll make his life a living hell if Adrien continues to refuse to comply. Please, Marinette. Give him a chance. He deserves it."

"I’m giving him your number as a Christmas present tomorrow," Chloe spoke up. "You have until then to think about it. Let’s go, Kagami. It’s time to set Adrien free and show the world who your soulmate truly is."

"Right." Kagami stood up, giving Marinette one last glance. "The choice is yours, but you’d be a fool to walk away from a man like him. They don’t come as kind, loyal and loving as he is these days."

The door behind the pair closed, leaving only the sound of Marinette’s heart echoing in her ears. She could hardly move. If everything she’d just learned was true, she owed Adrien an apology and, if he wanted one, she owed him a chance. Because while she would definitely want a chance with the man Kagami had just described, she had to wonder if she deserved one at all. 

With a sigh, she stood up and headed back towards the kitchen. 

Later. She’d find him later. First, she had a job to finish and sweets to serve. The rest would have to wait. They’d waited for years. What would be another few hours?

Next >

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[sirikenobi12]

Well then, you’re lost! - Jedi Rant

This is in response to someone who posted on one of my other blogs. Apparently there is a character limit on responses on Tumblr, so forgive me - I didn’t want to post this in multiple responses!   I never meant to imply that you condone mass murder, that was not what I was trying to say. My comment was meant to simply bring up the fact that one cannot compare the light side of the Force to being just as corrupt as the dark side – as soon as someone is “corrupt”, they are no longer following the light side of the Force (hence Dooku) which is the point.

You said that you are speaking about the Force in the Star Wars universe, well, that is exactly what I’m talking about as well. You say it is an “Essence” and isn’t “good or bad”, but I am sorry to say that is actually the opposite of what George Lucas has said about the Force. That is why I quoted him, he is the creator of Star Wars and he has the end all/be all authority on this galaxy – because he is the one who created it. George Lucas has REPEATEDLY stated that there cannot be a gray area in the Force, it is either light or dark (good or bad) and ANY darkness throws the Force off balance. In terms of the Force itself, straight from the man who created it there CANNOT be any gray and the light side is inherently good.

Now, let’s also take a look at it from even a moral standpoint and not a fictional standpoint – does anyone ever say “I’m really worried about him because he’s being too good a person”?? (If so, then I’m a little concerned for society). No, but we do worry when someone is acting selfish or letting themselves lose themselves to an obsession.

Now, were the Jedi perfect? No, and I never said they were, but did their “failure” mean they deserved genocide? Absolutely not. To say their order deserved to “fall” (aka be wiped out) that is victim blaming of the highest level. Even IF the Jedi were “corrupt” as people say they are that doesn’t mean they deserved what they received. Also, it does not keep Sheev or Anakin away from blame – two “wrongs” don’t make a right.

By the end of the Republic the Jedi were in a trap created by the Sith, all of the points you brought up (with the exception of “taking children” which I will address later) were perpetrated by the Sith. Sidious designed this trap so the Jedi would be painted in a corner and have no way out. But they still tried their best to do what was right despite all of this. For example, you bring up the use of a clone/slave army – well, what was the alternative? Please, tell me what the alternative was because no one who throws that accusation at the Jedi have an answer and I’d love to hear a legit one. Sidious gave Sifo-Dyas a vision (much like the ones he gave Anakin) which caused him to create an army without the Council’s knowledge or approval – in fact he had gone to the Council first demanding the Jedi create an army and they emphatically said “no” because of the moral implications of it. But, now here they were in the middle of being slaughtered on Geonosis and Yoda brought the army to save them. Then, the Senate (whom the Jedi were beholden to) decided to use the army to fight the Separatist, the Jedi instead of hanging back knew it was their duty to not only defend the people Republic, but also to destroy the Sith (who was in charge of the CIS army) so they joined in. Most of the Jedi ended up treating their men like the sentient beings they were (and were the first ones who did), which was not true of many citizens of the Republic. And had the Jedi NOT taken control of the GAR what do you think would’ve happened to the Clones?? Do you actually think the Kaminoans would’ve let them go free? – no, the Kaminoans are selfish business people and would’ve either destroyed them or more likely sold them into actual slavery.

Now, the Jedi code seemed to work for everyone else EXCEPT Anakin Skywalker, why does no one see that?? Sure, the Jedi were not allowed to get married and have children, it wasn’t because they “weren’t allowed to love” on the contrary they were encouraged to love, you don’t think they didn’t know Anakin loved Padme?? Jedi were trusted to not let it become an attachment because attachments lead to jealousy which lead to anger and given the type of power they possess that is dangerous. They are also committed to the Jedi order, think of it like they are married to the Jedi Order. If they were to go out and get married to someone else there is no way they could give 100% commitment to both the Jedi and their family/spouse. But, they are given the option to leave if they want to choose a family/marriage, is it a difficult choice? Yes of course, but that is an option. Anakin decided he was better than EVERYONE else and lied to the Jedi because he couldn’t give up the power/status that came with being one.

Going back to the Jedi “taking” children that is just the most absurd falsehood I hear going around. It is 100% the parent’s choice to give their child to the Jedi. Being a Jedi is an honor in this galaxy and it brings incredible honor to the family I’d imagine, but the Jedi have NEVER in any canon been shown to put pressure on a parent to give their child up. In fact in the Clone Wars we even see a mother saying “Master Ropal said I have more time with him” to a bounty hunter who was actually there to kidnap the child (for the Sith might I add). This statement means not only that she agreed to let her son be trained, but the Jedi in their compassion gave her more time with her baby. Also keep in mind how difficult raising a Force Sensitive child must be, I can bet that most parents welcome the help/training. And as I mentioned the Jedi ALWAYS have the option of leaving if the Order isn’t for them, it’s not a prison.

I honestly don’t understand why you (or other people) can’t see that the Jedi are good…I am baffled by this trend. Like I said, they are not perfect but no one is – and frankly the Jedi themselves don’t think they are perfect either. In fact contrary to what is usually written in fanfics the Jedi allow/encourage their members to question their rules, they constantly tell one another to “search their feelings” – the love and compassion they have for all beings in the galaxy is truly something more people should aspire to be. I know you said it’s “okay to be selfish” and I am sorry, but I disagree. There is a difference between being selfish and self-care. Selfishness is inherently not a good quality to have, and maybe beyond that it’s actually dangerous for a Jedi (or someone with the Force) to be selfish – that is where the Sith come in. The Sith only think of themselves, that is the definition of selfishness. And when you have extreme powers that are affected by your emotions you need to be more mindful, which is what the Jedi teach.

To believe that the Jedi failed makes me so sad…they didn’t, they were slaughtered - it would be like saying the people of Alderraan deserved to be blown up because there were a few criminals on the planet. If you are going to quote Luke in THE LAST JEDI about the legacy of the Jedi being failure, then you really need to take into context where Luke is in his emotional journey when he says it. He even later admitted he was wrong. – the point of the movie/saga is the Jedi are good and the Sith are evil.

The Jedi and Republic were all “deceived by a lie” and I stand by my post that it looks like Sheev deceived a good chunk of the audience as well.

Thank you for the lively debate, I appreciate hearing your thoughts!! 😊 May the Force be with you!

[minervacasterly]

The caricature of Margaret Beaufort:

From pop culture POV and the POV of those influenced by it, this powerful matriarch is all of the following: Religious nut case! Bitch. She killed the princes in the tower! Old and ugly! Screw her! She and her son were the worst thing that happened to England!

And yet her son became the founder of a dynasty that reigned for more than a century and continues to fascinate us. Now on to the real Meg Beaufort. In the White Queen she is all this and that but the real Meg was no religious nut case and she certainly didn't plan the murder of the Princes and you can debate me countless times on this but there is no concrete evidence that she did! Richard had more than enough motive and opportunity to kill the Princes and oh wait before I get the Ricardians on my case, I don't hate Richard. I actually find him interesting, I wouldn't find him interesting if he was perfect. Richard had learned from his brother's mistakes but made mistakes of his own. If he produced the boys then that would've propelled them to sainthood and the last thing he wanted was a cult was already building around Henry VI. What happened with this last monarch is fascinating and you might be wondering -hey! Isn't that the guy they smothered with a pillow in the White Queen? Yeah, that's the one. Except there are so many theories abounding to his death. The first one comes from Bettini who wrote three weeks after the Lancastrian king's death that it was Edward NOT Richard who gave the order. At the time the blame was solely pinned on Edward, so let's not confuse contemporary sources with secondary. Rous and Vergil writing in the Tudor period pinned the murder on Richard and even early Ricardians say that he did it, but with one major difference -*under* Edward's orders. If this is so, one thing we can all agree, if Richard gave the order or personally took care of Henry, it was all done under his brother's command. But this backfired, soon people were attributing all sorts of miracles to this guy, he became more famous in death than he had ever been in life. Edward tried hard to suppress this cult but he couldn't and Richard did the next best thing. If you can't beat them, join 'em! He cashed in on the cult and officiated a reburial of the dead monarch and started all new kinds of celebrations for him but people still talked as they always do. Now if he had produced the dead children as he and his brother had done with the Lancastrian king, then it would've been chaos, complete and utter chaos!

Margaret Beaufort's sole aim up until the princes disappearance in the summer of 1483 was to gain back her son's lands and bring him back safely. She was forced to give him up before after the Lancaster line had been wiped out from the face of the earth by Yorkist forces, ending to some historians' view, the wars of the roses in 1471. Margaret would not see him until the aftermath of Bosworth in 1485. She had little to worry about the first years of his exile, he was with his uncle Jasper, his father's brother. They intended to sail to the French court, a court his uncle knew very well but landed in Brittany instead because of the bad weather. Brittany was not on good terms with the French and they had their fair share of enmity with the English so it served the Duke well to have two valuable English hostages, one who had a considerable (if debatable) claim to the English throne via his mother. Edward attempted to coax the old Duke into give up his charge and while the Duke never believed Edward's intentions, some of his ministers did and those who didn't just wanted to cash in on the juicy rewards. Henry was an intelligent youth who was far from the serious and mama's boy he's depicted in today's fiction. He loved to laugh, play, joke and gamble. But he was aware how valuable he was and at one point feigned sickness and took sanctuary in a church when he suspected his future voyage to England was a hoax -which it was -and that small trickery on his part saved him.

By 1480, Margaret had more than enough to worry, but she wasn't giving up on her son's legacy. With Edward's promise to marry him to his eldest daughter, Margaret continued to rely on the faith that gave comfort to so many women in this period, and Edward's promise, albeit a fake one, was something she never let go of. The accession of Richard and Anne changed all that. Always an opportunist at heart, she tried to curry favor with the new regime. Whether she agreed with it or not -we will never know but her husband was an official in Richard's government and she had more than enough reason to believe that Richard would grant her her request to bring her son back. After all he was more busy convincing everyone his brother had never been legally married to Elizabeth and securing his position. But surprise, surprise for Margaret and everyone involved. Her life was never easy, it was one obstacle after another and this was no different. The boys' disappearance changed everything and Buckingham's rebellion gave her a chance she had never considered before. Her moment to shine had come. She was no longer looking to bring her son back as a mere earl but as a king so she started plotting with the queen dowager through her Welsh doctor. After a lot of plotting and intrigue and tragedy at Richard's court, her son's shining moment came and thanks to the defection of his stepfather from Richard's camp to his side, he won. There is a famous myth that his stepfather, Thomas Stanley found the crown in a thorn bush but this is likely Tudor propaganda. Richard's treatment afterwards was one that's always given by the victor to the loser, stripped of all his clothes and shamefully paraded, he was then written as the worst monarch that ever lived.

And while I do agree there needs to be a better assessment of Richard, doing the same to Margaret and Richard is just as dumb. She was born in 1443 and a year after, John Beaufort, her father and Duke of Somerset died. Many said at the time that it was because of suicide because of his terrible leadership in France. Truth or not, Margaret was now a wealthy heiress and her wardship was widely sought after. William de la Pole, the crown's favorite tried to marry her to his son, but after he was murdered, at only nine years old Margaret was brought to court to swear that she never intended to marry his son. Later she rewrote history saying that it was because of a godly vision that told her that it was her destiny to marry Edmund Tudor and establish a great house, that she denied it. Margaret married at only 12 and Edmund Tudor, anxious to get his hands on her wealth, didn't bother to wait. He impregnated her less than a year after and she gave birth in January 1457 when she was months away from being 14, to her only offspring. The birth damaged her, she never had any children with her other spouses. She had a happy marriage with her next spouse, Henry Stafford and they celebrated their anniversary in big style every year and even housed Edward IV in their hunting lodged in one occasion. This doesn't sound like the power hungry, vindictive Margaret of TV. And that's because she wasn't! She was very learned and founded and refounded many colleges, chief among them: Christ's College which had previously been God's House and St. John's in Cambridge. Aware that only the privileged few could attend these institutions she voiced her concerns in 1479, and her attempts bore fruit when Wimborne College was established posthumously in 1509, which was later renamed Queen Elizabeth's school. She also established the Lady Margaret Beaufort Professorship of Divinity at Cambridge in 1502 and the first women's college in Oxford was named after her.

In spite of her joy of seeing her son crowned, she could not help herself. Fisher and many contemporaries described how she cried -a clear sign of a woman that doesn't care about power- and when asked why, she responded because she had lived through so many kings and princes who had been murdered and killed in battle. Who knew if her son was next or if his reign would last. She cried the same tears of grief on her grandson's joint coronation with Katherine, fearing that his reign would face the same troubles.

Margaret passed away days after in 1509, after a long life of hardship and triumph.