#and not in a funny or campy way like its fans say

[i-dont-bite]

i don't trust sapphics when they tell me somethings good anymore

[saltymothball]

my unpopular takes on beetlejuice beetlejuice SPOILERS!! (long post)

(i am a fan of the original pls do not come for me) these are just my thoughts on the sequel :D please feel free to add yours too

context! im writing these notes as i watch so theyre a little disorganized

for reference i also rewatched the original immediately prior to the sequel

not opening with the classic beetlejuice muisic ?? even the stage show opens with that music where is it (EDIT- restarted it and it actually does open w the music, but it is much less fun/campy an and more of a spooky remix so i forgot)

its not plot necessary but i do wish we learned how BJ fixed his shrunken head and death by sandworm

where are the maitlands ???? 0 mention of adam and barbra at the beginning ?

BJ's ex wife intro was a very creative concept but i wish they did it with more sfx props and less cgi/green screen

Astrid is like very boring, theyve done nothing to get the audience (me) invested in her?? disney wish vibes like who is she

call it a headcanon i feel like lydia wouldnt be this fucking awkward of a parent ?? she had good role models ie adam and barbra (even if her own parents werent as active, by the end of the original movie it implied they were now living in a healthy family dynamic

the mother daughter drama feels really forced, reminds me of the out-of-place tension between wednesday and morticia in the 2023 show

all angles are super close up and feel like horror angles. the scene where astrid befriends that boy ?? felt like someone was gonna come up and kill them the ENTIRE interaction (edit i guess that makes sense but it nerfed the scene)

IMMEDIATELY knew his parents are dead btw. not showing their faces is so clearly they are dead. not an ounce of mystery. theory the boy might be a ghost too?

theory astrids dad isnt dead bc Lydia cant see him

the witching hour wrong ?? last i knew it was 3am not 12am. weird thing to get wrong

its like not a silly campy vibe ?? its like uncomfortable.

dont like lydias new man hes pushy and gross

i miss adam and barbra

it doesnt make sense that no one taking lydia seriously ? delia knows she can see ghosts and has also experienced beetlejuice

lydias fiance is a horrid excuse for a partner (how tf did she meet him like did he just walk in bc the plot needed another person to hate lydia

not the dead protester joke :(

the spill-your-guts/pregnancy felt really idk,,, icky??? dont know how to explain it but it uncomfortably long

follow up- a lot of the visual ghost gags felt very gross/gorey ? like in the original movie the gags were inbetween silly/sexual/spooky-but this one feels more like blood and guts instead of spiders and snakes. exhibit A) otho casually shoving corpse barbra out of the way when looking at the closet with delia / exhibit b) the guy with the cigarettes at the end of the original

theory that astrid is going to end up seeing ghosts by the end of the movie

love the "eeee!" noise BJ makes when people say his name

ok BJ with the guitar after lydia tells him off was legitimately funny

i know astrid is an angsty teen but my god she is so hostile towards lydia

calling it at 56mins the boys parents are SO dead bc they deliberately didnt have lydia meet them

listen i have nothing against jenna ortega but it feels like she is type-casted to play exactly one character now, like let the girl play something other than a monotone gothy teen

"they found a loophole and moved on" okay whatever that means

astrids awkwardness w this ghost boy is pretty cute. he is so definitely a ghost though

yup called it hes a ghost

"my mom was telling the truth... shit" lmao

this boy feels very sus bc why are you trying to bribe her w her father

still no info on how lydia and rory met ??

MURDER HOUSE ?? TH BOY IS A MURDERER ??? okay thats a good twist ill give them that

astrid going into the afterlife to see her dad feels very "lydia going to the afterlife to see her mom" plot from the stage show ?

astrid honey you have too much faith in this ghost boy

oh my fucking god delia did you really get poisonous snakes....so on brand for her

Beetlegeuse literally carrying the whole movie

every scene he's in is absolutely giving

william dafoe is pretty good too but adding him just feels like he is william dafoe and not the character hes playing (who is also an actor)

delia correcting herself from saying fuck is really funny like girl was that scripted

okay ok astrd seeing her dad working in immigration was pretty neat

i had actually forgotten abt BJs ex wife until now ? doesnt seem like she actually adds much to the story beyond giving BJ a new reason to pursue lydia... which he was already doing...?

are they all going to end up in the afterlfe wtf

the afterlife desert takes place on the fucking moon of saturn ?? okay

is it just me or is the sandworm not claymation... like maybe its just the way it looks but i swear it looks like they cgi'd it but then cut down the frame rate

damn lydias husband really got eaten by piranhas.. what a way to die oh my god

there was no real stakes to astrid switching her soul? they resolved that so fast like lydia just grabbed her and they ran

oh their husband/dad is back now everything is fixed...? like all that hate towards her mom is now gone bc her mom was telling the truth about seeing ghosts? dad just resolved the only conflict

beetlejuice didnt even help get astrid back he went on a pee break and the plot progressed

love bad cop william defoe

"are you filled with fear and trembling?" "yes im shitting my pants" absolutely gold

BJ on fetchquests this whole movie fr

the soul sucking lady please she ate bobs nametag :(

ok wtf they really solved ghost boy dilemma in 5 seconds, BJ ex machina... like he rlly just got him like that ??? anticlimactic

ok good astrid apologized for being a shitty kid

rory please stop kissing lydias neck

i kind of hate the modern nods like the self securing seatbelt in the priests car, or the influencers at the wedding, really weird unnecessary detail

BJ and Delia wedding crashers my fav

how did Beetlejuice get into the church ? if he is a demon like previously established, shouldnt he NOT be able to step on holy ground

enjoyed the slapstick moment of lydia punching rory, good moment

her red dress omg !! pretty

BJ himself is just too funny, making the priest sing top tier

i still miss adam and barbra :( if they can cgi that dead guy in star wars i think we couldve brought alec baldwin and geena davis who are in fact still very alive and look great

they really didnt make me interested in BJs ex wife other than she is pretty and looks like morticia addams ?

BJ making everybody partake in singing is very silly

everybody dancing at the wedding scene must have been fun to film, everybody looks like theyre jamming

lmao whos dog was that in the hallucinations ?? is that the dog who killed the maitlands

"ghoul squad" ok monster high

oh finally his ex is here

lydia so casually pushed out of the way lmao

why does BJ have more etherial powers than every other ghost?

offering rory to the soul sucking lady is so good

theyre really just gonna sandworm for the plot resolution again ???

his ex wife was a threat for all of 4 seconds

lol the legal marriage loophole was kinda funny

is delia like forever dead ? is she a ghost now? is beetlejuice dead?

i still love delia. "i will find charles and we will haunt you both" good for her

are the influencer wedding guests dead

everything got wrapped up very quickly

good on delia for still loving her husband even though that shark absolutely annihilated him

what ?? astrid is married now???

WHAT ??? SHES GIVING BIRTH ?????

oh ok its a dream

having a second pregnancy bit felt really weird

they alluded to another sequel :(

please remember i am actually a huge fan of beetlejuice !! no hate to the franchise these are just my personal opinions on the sequel. i would love to hear your thoughts as well !!

[shadow0haven]

I'm gonna do some rambling below about the Malev Christmas thing a little bit because people have been saying people have taken it too seriously and I want to explore/explain why I think people are upset and why I agree/my thoughts.

So HG released a christmas episode for malev and its a silly and campy episode of jokes and a "they get snowed in on christmas" episode like from a sitcom.

Honestly, that would have been nice from the get go. It's an interesting and trope I enjoy so I was ready to listen, until I heard negativity.

People are claiming that people hate the special specifically because HG makes fun of shippers. It's not *just* those two specific lines about shippers that I see people being upset about. It's quite a lot more.

For the longest time, Harlan has been poking fun at shippers in a lot of lines, in livestreams, in jokes and specials he puts out on patreon. A lot of the patreon people aren't mad or upset specifically because he does it, but because it's done so often. We KNOW Jarthur is never going to be Canon. We don't need a reminder constantly in the specials that they aren't canon and never will be, because it's a horror podcast and it's been explicitly stated all over John and Arthur are platonic in canon and always will be as far as we know. Having it constantly joked about when we know it won't happen is tiring.

A joke is made about the mail delivery person hating Arthur and loving John. On server and in conversation, etc, it's come up that HG finds it weird people like John, or Yellow, or other characters, more than Arthur. He also does "playful teasing" about people who enjoy certain characters or make certain theories, while also being annoyed people don't like Arthur more. A lot of us DO like Arthur, but not certain aspects of the character or how the character handled certain situations. That doesn't mean we hate the character. Part of this I think stems from HG having said that Arthur is "basically him", saying that Arthur is a self insert. That's fine and dandy, but it does make a lot of us uncomfortable for a lot of situations when we try to separate the character from a real person when the person playing the character insists "the character is me". This isn't a slight against HG, but I find it frustrating and that it ruined a bit of the "this is a narrative based around fictional characters etc" when the creator insists the main character is his self insert and essentially just him. Self inserts are cool! I also have my own! But there has to be a degree of separation that people aren't getting and it makes a lot of us uncomfortable.

A joke by the mail carrier also about "people going online and arguing for a living" or something along those lines. A lot of people that enjoy the show also critique it, make theories, and always talk about ways things could be handled better or how things could have turned out. Yes, there are people who are strictly only negative because they dislike HG for a myriad of reasons, and this joke felt like it was aimed specifically at these people that have issue with him, his interactions with fans, and the way he's handled things in the past that was just... unneeded.

On a less serious note, there were things that were just not my style in which I myself specifically don't vibe with the special. It was very campy and cracky, which is what it was obviously going for. For ME, I just wasn't into the "staged sitcom script because of Kayne" deal. And that's okay! Just because it wasn't my mileage, doesn't mean it was bad for other people. Like how I don't read certain kinds of fanfiction because they just aren't for me, this special just wasn't for me because of the tone of it.

I know there are probably more things, or things I'm forgetting, I know there was more teasing about "Arthur having PTSD but he can get over it in seconds" joke that made me a little meh, some of the jokes were funny and gave me a good chuckle, but I think this is the main reason people are having issue with the special.

To clarify, I'm talking about JUST the Christmas special and not the show itself. Just this specific episode. If I wanted to talk about why I and other people have issues with the show, or if people were interested in what I think, I'd make another post.

This is NOT a hate post, but simply talking about why I myself take issue with several aspects of the special, as well as why others (and the reasons I've heard from others) have mentioned about it.

Your mileage may vary, etc etc. I still enjoy the show and the characters very much, but sometimes this kind of stuff makes it difficult.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Is It Really That Bad?

Grease is a delightfully corny musical filled with 50s nostalgia (mostly the good kind) and helped shoot the careers of John Travolta and Olivia Newton John to new heights. There’s a little bit of values dissonance here and there, but considering when it was made and what decade it was about, it could honestly be a lot worse. It’s easily one of the most fun and enjoyable musicals ever made, and it should come as no surprise the Library of Congress deemed this film significant enough to add to the National Film Registry. Is it any surprise a film like this had a sequel?

Well, yeah, kind of. Paramount didn’t think the movie was going to be much more than a modest one-off hit when it came out despite the 50s nostalgia of the time, mainly due to the spectacular failure of Columbia’s musical adaptation of Lost Horizon being such a spectacular bomb. Why risk making musicals when it seems they’re on the way out, right? But then Grease unexpectedly became one of the biggest films of 1978, and the execs got little dollar signs in their eyes. Sequel time, baby!

One problem, though: None of the original cast was available. Or, I should say, none of the original cast you’d give a fuck about was available. Travolta and Newton-John were already off to bigger and better things, which is a shame since they were both interested before it took them forever to get a script. Only Didi Conn (Frenchy) and Eddie “Mandark” Deezen (Eugene) were coming back. And, look, I love Dexter’s Lab but that wasn’t going to be made for like twenty years or something, so Eddie wasn’t Travolta-levels of star power. Still, Paramount was dead set on turning Grease into a massive franchise. We’re talking spin-offs, sequels, a TV series, the works!

But then the screenwriter for the original died, and the original director went off to make The Blue Lagoon. Of course, they found great backups! The screenwriter is a Canadian comedian who wrote Airplane II (the less funny one) and the director was the choreographer of the original stage and film versions of Grease! How reassuring! And then basically all of the actors they actually wanted in this didn’t end up getting in. For the male lead they wanted Timothy Hutton, but when that didn’t work out they tested Andy Gibb… who failed. They then went with an unknown, Maxwell Caulfield, and casting an unknown is always a gamble. For the leading lady, Pat Benatar and Debbie Harry were considered before they ended up going with an unknown by the name of Michelle Pfeiffer. And guess what! Those two ended up hating each other.

Oh yeah and the final draft of the script was only finished midway through production, without Frenchy in it despite her actress being there, so they just tossed the scenes they’d filmed into the movie anyway.

The end result was savaged by critics and did not really make enough to warrant the massive franchise Paramount was hoping for. The careers of most of the actors involved were damaged pretty bad, especially Caulfield, though Pfeiffer managed to et out mostly unscathed. Overall, the film was just a mess that these days is relegated to lists of the worst sequels ever. Hell, unless you read lists like that you might be unaware this film even exists, because it’s relatively obscure.

Still, it does have its fans, including Andrew Garfield of all people. It’s something of a cult classic in some circles, so surely there’s something of value to be found here, right? Is Grease 2 really that bad?

THE GOOD

Michelle Pfeiffer is pretty in this.

...No. Really. That’s it.

THE BAD

This film’s biggest problem is just how overexaggerated everyone’s performances are. Like all of the dance numbers feature every single character mugging the camera and just making the most absurd faces and movements, like this is a live action cartoon. And look, I love goofy, campy silliness, but there’s a fine line between corny and trying way too hard and this is firmly in the latter camp. Every single number is just ruined by this insufferable desire to be silly.

The other biggest problem is the songs. All of them suck. All of them are also about sex, and that doubly sucks. None of the lyrics are very clever, but all of them are fucking stupid. This might just be one of the horniest movies ever made, and I mean that as an insult. I’ve watched pornos less obsessed with sex than this film. This is all the more jarring because the first film was just filled to the brim with fun and memorable songs, but here? They’re all forgettable crap with no clear identity.

Maxwell Caulfield is a terrible leading man, and I say this as someone who has a hard time believing John Travolta is a leading man. At least with Travolta he does exude a sort of movie star quality; Caulfield just feels to me like a cardboard cutout of a person, or an even more wooden Anakin Skywalker than what we got in Attack of the Clones. Caulfield is just an absolute void of charisma, and it’s no wonder Pfeiffer thought he was a stuck up little shit.

IS IT REALLY THAT BAD?

Uh, yeah. It’s fucking bad.

I really wanted to enjoy this. I really did. I love stupid, campy, silly musicals! This should have been perfect for me! And yet it was one of the most tedious, miserable viewing experiences I’ve ever had. I didn’t laugh. I didn’t smile. I was not once charmed or amused by anything I saw onscreen. As a matter of fact, there were times where I just wanted to turn it off because it was just such a slog. The extended cut of Dawn of Justice is a more well-paced and riveting film.

Look, if you like this movie, more power to you. Lord knows there’s plenty of trashy films I absolutely love that many people wouldn’t agree with. But in my opinion, Grease 2 just doesn’t work, and the reason why is because it’s Grease 2. If this film was just its own thing and not trying to coast on the fame of its superior predecessor, maybe I’d be a little more forgiving. But that’s not the world we live in. We live in a world where this film with tenuous connections to the original is allowed to call itself a sequel.

I’m gonna say that score is a little too nice, and this movie deserves something more like a 2. It’s not the worst thing ever and it’s sure to appeal to some folks, but boy is this just plain not a good film in my eyes. It really just feels like it's trying way too hard to be the original, and it's failing miserably at it at every single turn. It is one of the worst movies I've ever watched, but at least it's a bad movie where I can almost see the appeal. It just doesn't appeal to me.

[fools-fall-much-too-soon]

Leon's personality "change" between RE2 & RE4

Disclaimer: I'm not a huge fan of the remakes so I don't really take them as 100% canon. When reading this, understand that I'm taking parts from both the ogs and the remakes, but primarily the og games. (TD;DR is at the bottom of the post)

Something that's been on my mind a lot lately is how we went from heart-on-his-sleeve, genuine RE2 Leon to loud, confident, sassy RE4 Leon.

RE4 got me into resi as a kid and remains my favorite game in the franchise. HOWEVER, it's pretty clear (on first inspection) that RE4 Leon is an outlier in the character's development.

In RE2 we get to see rookie cop Leon. I've seen a lot of people claim that og RE2 Leon doesn't have much of a personality but I'd have to disagree. Its abundantly clear that Leon is incredibly pragmatic, a very quick thinker, quite friendly and seems to be able to work well with just about anyone, he even kneels down to get on people's level. Often it seems more like he was trained as an EMT than a cop.

He doesn't approach strangers w a gun. He's so sincere and almost gullible in his faith in other people. That's not to say that he's stupid, he doesn't immediately trust people including Ada (although some folks wanna act like Leon is some lost puppy dog with 0 self-preservation skills). In a lot of ways he comes off a lot like a shonen mc despite him being so snarky. If anything, the closest comparisons I can think of are characters like Percy Jackson or early (comics-era) Peter Parker. All genuine, kind, smart people who are also spunky and funny. He stands his ground, voices his opinion, and is driven by duty. Yes, he's logical and level-headed and pleasant/easily digestible but he's definitely a big personality and a strong character. Practical =/= Boring.

I can't say that much of this changes going into RE4. The only real difference is that he's less gullible and sincere which definitely doesn't feel like its coming out of nowhere. He is 6 years older to be fair and while we only know of Operation Javier between the two installments, we know Leon gets sent on other missions... despite none of them being directly connected to BOWs until OJ. He's been trained by the military which is absolutely part of why he's less gullible other than the obvious reasons. And even then, he's so quick to untie Luis, despite not knowing if he's armed or dangerous, doesn't question the medicine Luis gives them, trusts Ada's intel for some reason, and still considers Krauser a good guy.

Leon was lied to by Ada, who he wanted to protect, and was left feeling used and betrayed. Only to be abandoned by Claire and had to look after the recently orphaned Sherry alone. That, plus the training would make him grow up quick... So what we're left with is the same old snarky, idealistic, but duty-driven Leon who is only a bit more grounded in reality/jaded.

It's also my opinion that all his cheesy one-liners is more than just a way to cope with stress.

Really think about how military training is meant to strip you of personality... It'd make sense that on solo missions he'd finally have the space to let his personality show. He has to hide it so much, ofc he'd be extra when there's no higher-ups to keep him in place. The thing that really hammers it home for me is that he tends to act a lot more serious when there's other agents/military involved. In both Degeneration and Operation Javier, Leon isn't funny. Even in most of Infinite Darkness he keeps his jokes to himself. He's been silly/campy since day one, it's just time and place and RE4 was the right time and place to let his personality shine (especially with all the other big personalities around him).

Leon's personality "change" just seems like a natural progression in response to his environment.

speaking of natural personality changes... I think Krauser and Luis's deaths really messed Leon up. In one day, Leon has to watch so many people die all over again. Innocent villagers slaughtered at his hand. I can imagine that knowing the parasite could be removed and that the villagers were tricked didn't sit easy on his mind either. Like yeah he gets Ashley home but that's one person saved vs the ~1000 that died. Krauser and Luis were important to him in different ways and in the end, things ended up just like Raccoon.

I think that's when it truly starts to set in for Leon that he's just as helpless as everyone else and what he's doing isn't much in the grand scheme of things... Not that he has a choice to stop. It also very easily explains why Leon starts to get more serious as time goes on. Fundamentally, he never really changes the part of him that gets easily attached and cares deeply about the lives of others, but as he ages, it gets harder for him to believe that what he's doing matters since nothing changes.

TD;DR: At the end of the day Leon's personality in RE4 isn't an outlier in his development, but likely of one of the last moments his personality gets to shine without as heavy a burden on his shoulders as he has later in his life. He was been always sassy and kinda campy since day one and him being the way he is in RE4 makes a lot of sense, even though he gets more serious in later installments.

[punster-2319]

HAPPY 30TH ANNIVERSARY ALADDIN

Disney’s 31st animated film was released on this day in 1992 and has since become one of the studio’s classics and my personal favorite. Directed by John Musker and Ron Clements (fresh off the success of their previous hit The Little Mermaid) and a phenomenal soundtrack by composer Alan Menken and song lyrics Howard Ashman (his final film) and Tim Rice. Just like with their previous musical films The Little Mermaid and Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin was was a box office hit, surpassing both previous films by grossing over $200 million domestically which was a record for animated films at the time and wouldn’t be surpassed until 2 years when their next film The Lion King grossed over $300 million domestically.

I love this movie. As stated above, not only is it my favorite Disney movie, but it’s my favorite movie period. Running at 90 minutes, Aladdin has the perfect length for a movie (personal preference I know, but something about it being approximately an hour and half just has that right balance of not feeling too long or short). The story is simple but REALLY fun and just flows at a natural pace, again thanks to the movie’s length. This movie more than any other Disney animated feature really takes advantage of its medium and pushes it to the limit. I’ve always been a fan of slapstick cartoons like classic Looney Tunes/Tom and Jerry, Animaniacs, etc so Aladdin fits into that mold perfectly for me. This is also Disney’s best comedy and there’s only two other Disney films I can think of that match this film’s comedic energy (one of them also being directed by Musker and Clements).

I honestly don’t know what else I can say about Genie that hasn’t been said already. He’s the best comic relief/sidekick character, the late great Robin Williams set the bar really high with his iconic performance and paved the way for more pop culture based humor in animated films later down the line (for better and for worse). Even without the Genie, there’s still plenty of funny moments throughout the movie like this moment:

On that note, Jafar is also a great Disney villain. He has that perfect balance of stoic and campiness along with a great character design that contrasts from the other characters but still fits in the world.

Lastly, the songs are great. Aladdin was the last of the Menken/Ashman trilogy before the latter’s death during production of this and their previous film Beauty and the Beast. 3 of Ashman’s songs appear in the final film (Arabian Nights, Friend Like Me, and Prince Ali) and they’re all catchy as hell. Tim Rice took over where Ashman left off and wrote 2 new songs and 2 reprises (One Jump Ahead and it’s reprise, A Whole New World, and Prince Ali reprise) which are also great, especially A Whole New World which won an Oscar for Best Song and was the only Disney song to reach #1 on the Billboard Top 100 for nearly 30 years until We Don’t Talk About Bruno from Encanto accomplished that earlier this year.

There’s so much more I want to say about this movie, but this post is getting too long. Aladdin was a childhood favorite of mine that I watched several times on VHS and later on DVD for the behind-the-scenes bonus features (this is why physical media should never be taken for granted). It’s a part of that era in the 90s when Disney dominated with great animated musicals that also included The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, and The Lion King, and continue to be beloved classics to this day 30 years later.

What are some of your favorite moments, characters, and songs from Aladdin?

[coredrill]

br4vern thoughts, mostly just a stream of consciousness

this ep needed more bravern 😭 i mean it didn’t, it was rly good and i liked him relating well with isami but between the downer ending + lack of bravern + no fight scene i’d say it’s probably the one that clicked w me the least so far, i had to rewatch it a few times to figure out how i felt………..still really funny though and the campy post-irony is really gelling well imo, the sound design of isami in that fucking suit and getting punched killed me, and lulu chugging the water, and bravern with his fucking lei of wieners and the way he said JAAAAPAAAN!! 💀

to the surprise of Absolutely no one i am so so endeared to lulu and smith………there were so many sweet moments they got and gremlin lulu is so good 😭 it’s hard being a single father when you’re (googles) SMITH IS FUCKING 24?????? AND BORN ON VALENTINES DAY??????? HUH!!!!! i thought he was like. 32. okay anyways it’s hard being a single father when you’re 24 and . i forgot where i was going with this. but i am excited for her haircut and to see who gives it to her………….

miyu sweetie i love your enthusiasm but i. am not a fan of isami’s suit design LMAO. perhaps it will grow on me once i see it in action however the fucking. spine bracer? that seems like it is gonna be a Bad Time if smth goes wrong 😳

isami’s really just having the Worst time of his life and now he’s in his hater era beefing with a child LMAO, they should’ve just told him that she threw a jug at the guy who waterboarded him and i think he would like her more :] i do assume it’s gonna be more justified in the plot by like. lulu being Of Superbia and therefore the enemy and isami’s angry at smith for fraternizing with her (especially since isami’s whole “smith doesn’t do his job” thing kinda fell apart when bravern was like “smith will do his job” and isami was like “yeah i know” LMAO) but if they continue to also play it from the angle of Isami’s Gay Feelings i hope it doesn’t drag out too much longer………….if you like the dude just tell him (<- average kaworu enjoyer sentiment) ESPECIALLY since everyone else seems to understand that lulu’s smith’s kiddo lmao. was nice to see him making more friends though :]

if i were a theory maker i would be going bananas with this show but i am not so i am simply enjoying reading everyone else’s :] there was one from a jp fan that referenced the n3i scene and i am rotating that one in my mind rn…………..anyways i feel like if this show nails its middle and ending i am gonna look back and be like Damn that was some smart writing LMAO, like there sure is a lot of heavy handed building to Something. feels careful and deliberate and with a good amount of “thing you didn’t realize was important becoming the key to everything five episodes later.” excited for what’s to come :]

[brvtal]

Have you read the sting muffins fic?

(If you haven't don't read it /half joking)

okay so ive only listened to the stories because im a fake fan (too lazy to read) but i just finished it and ??????????????????????????

okay it was still enjoyable at points because of how outrageously campy and deviantart-emo-middleschooler-y it is. but having to actually sit and Read reitanna's writing instead of just listening to her doing funny voices is not fun, she formats things in such a weird way........ but apart from that..... what the FAWK was that story man. i feel like its redundant to point out how absolutely mind numbingly stupid the idea of the princessses sending in their TOP SECRET AGENT 100% TRAINED SOLDIER dressed as an emo proclaiming she is SUPER INSANE LULZ to try and defeat the bakers is. if she was like. a lone vigilante it would have at least been excusable but reitanna treats it so seriously!!!!!!! and for what!!!!!!!! also the later parts of muffins in general i dont like, everything gets so ridiculously self-indulgent and always the bakers monologuing about "we are better than you (because the plot says so!) and we are soooo sociopathic and NOT fakers!".....

i think reitanna seishin needs therapy.... and also that cascade should have just been a real depressed little emo girl who the others torture anyway purely because they dont have any more room in their group or something kek

[kuiperblog]

M3GAN: a movie about being a modern mom

It was as good as I had hoped.  I was actually a bit surprised to see that this film had a 95% on Rotten Tomatoes, because it wasn’t amazing, but it is plausibly the kind of movie that could make 95% of critics say, “Yeah, that was pretty good, I guess!” It’s the kind of movie that doesn’t really have any bad parts, but does have a few things that made me think, “Oh, I wish they’d done a little more with that idea.”

I’m usually not much for “creepy doll” horror, but it’s much more of a “rogue AI” story. That said, while M3GAN has more in common with Ex Machina than Chuckie when it comes to setting and premise and subject matter, it’s not really making any attempt to be “high art,” and so the marketing for the movie (which emphasizes the fact that M3GAN does Fortnite dances) isn’t exactly selling the movie short.

Then again, maybe Ex Machina actually sold itself short by not including its own dance scene in the marketing. Certainly, dancing Oscar Isaac would have sold a few movie tickets.

I went to the 7:30 Friday showing of M3GAN, with my reasoning being that a campy horror movie is one occasion on which I am glad (eager, even) to share a theater with a bunch of rowdy teenagers.  In retrospect, I made a slight miscalculation: this is a PG-13 movie, and I was seated right in front of two parents and their son (who I would estimate to be somewhere around age 12), who piped up several times throughout the movie to inform them that he wasn’t scared and didn’t have to leave the theater.  (New policy: wait until the 10 PM showing for PG-13 horror?)

Also, the movie has Brian Jordan Alvarez in a supporting role (his first major theatrical role?) which came as a pleasant surprise.

I went to see the movie entirely on the strength of a recommendation from Alyssa Rosenberg (who is among my favorite movie critics), and because her “review” got me to see the movie (and didn’t make me regret the decision), I share it now with you, by way of an Across the Movie Aisle podcast transcription:

Sonny: Alyssa, you’re not a horror movie fan, but you did like this movie a lot, what appealed to you about it?

Alyssa: I did. Thinking about this as a ‘murder doll’ horror movie is wrong. This is actually a satire about contemporary mom-ing. Obviously it’s there on the surface to some extent: Gemma [the protagonist of the film] is not sure that she’s meant to be a parent. But the film is shot through with all of these little jokes that you basically only get if you are scrolling Mom Instagram all the time. ... You have a therapist talking about attachment theory, you have that very funny scene at a ‘prospective students day’ at this new school where this mom of this very obvious awful boy is blathering on about all these theories about how “defiant kids end up being the most intelligent.”  And so, the whole thing is like being plunged into the culture of contemporary moms.

It’s very much about the expectations that moms put on themselves. ... Gemma is an interesting character, because she is kind of a cold fish. She is sort of bad at this.  But the climax of the movie is very much about her embracing her own imperfection and saying, “I’m a better parent, in my failures, because I can learn, because I recognize that for every rule there is an exception, because I can read this kid, and because I recognize that discomfort is part of learning to grow as a human being.”  It’s an assertion of the value of individual parenting, even by a flawed parent, over the homogenized advice of the internet, over the supposed hyper-optimization of a robot. It’s just a very funny movie about being a mom today. ... Viewing it as a ‘mom satire’ rather than a ‘scary doll satire’ I think made it land very differently.

Sonny: I can see that. Those parts of the movie are the best-written stuff in the movie for sure, the whole kind of ‘mommy wars’ aspect of it. 

[vitos-ordination-song]

Thoughts on every translated Shuzu Oshimi work:

Avant-Garde Yumeko (2003) – Great despite being short! A girl becomes obsessed with dicks and wants to see one so badly it takes her life in unexpected directions. An early example of Oshimi’s interest in sexually forward girls. Makes a link between sexuality and art in a unique way.

Sweet Poolside (2004) – Silly story about a boy who’s embarrassed that he has no body hair and a girl embarrassed that she has too much body hair. Oshimi has clearly always been interested in gender anxieties and fluidity. The manga’s ending is great.

Devil Ecstasy (2005-2006) – I adored this one. It is probably the most light-hearted thing Oshimi’s written but it’s up there with my favorites. Trashy in all the right ways, cutesy yet campy; it’s got absurdist horror, ridiculous sexuality and gender themes, and cute couples. I was obsessed with the emo rock boy and his alt gf.

Yūtai Nova (2007–2008) – Similar to other Oshimi works; the first time he uses “self dissolution” and gender bending as themes. Not that good but might have been better if it hadn’t gotten discontinued.

Drifting Net Café (2008–2011) – To be honest, I wasn’t a huge fan of this one. It wasn’t bad, but I’ve seen this premise and theme done better elsewhere. This and the previous work are the only manga by Oshimi to feature sexual violence by men against women—from this point on, it’s always the other way around.

The Flowers of Evil (2009–2014) – I know this is one of Oshimi’s most famous and beloved works, but it’s not my favorite. I found it more intellectually stimulating than emotionally involving, I guess. But the story surprised me, which I can’t say for everything, and I really liked the ending. Also this was my first of Oshimi’s manga, and I immediately nailed him as someone fascinated with sexual domination/submission.

Shino Can't Say Her Name (2011–2012) – Short and sweet. The only Oshimi work that seems to have no hint of sexuality. It’s a story about a girl with a horrible stutter who ends up making friends and forming a band. Heartwarming stuff.

Inside Mari (2012–2016) – One of his best. Psychologically rich with compelling characters. The story is engaging and constantly throwing the reader curve balls. So much could be said about its themes of gender, sexuality, and identity, especially in context of Oshimi’s entire body of work.

Happiness (2015–2019) – I liked this one but I doubt I’ll ever reread it. Oshimi is great at making lovable characters in a short span of time, so I was definitely invested in the story, but it wasn’t that interesting to me ultimately. It was a fairly straightforward vampire horror. I do like that it pulled “humans are the real monsters,” and some of the scenes with the cult towards the end were truly harrowing—my morbid ass loves shit like that.

Waltz (2017) – A one-shot about a girl who meets a boy(?) who likes to dress up as a girl. I liked the ending. Not a lot to say given how short it is.

Trail of Blood (2017–2023) – The most important of Oshimi’s works to me. I can’t really talk about it but I think it’s a work of art that will continue to influence my life for years to come.

Miss Kusakabe (2020) – One-shot about a man in a shitty relationship with a domineering woman (surprise surprise). Didn’t get a lot out of it.

Lily (2021) – ANOTHER one-shot about a man getting dominated by a woman. Something you’d like to tell us, Oshimi?

Welcome Back, Alice (2020–2023) – I really liked this one. The characters ended up growing on me a lot, and I loved the themes—let’s all just quit with this gender bullshit. It’s funny that the plot is quite literally “non-binary kid enters a high school and transes all his classmates.” Maybe the trans conspiracists were on to something after all! But for real, the final chapters were beautiful and meaningful; essentially the story was about trying to envision a world where sex and gender don’t imprison us. I really admire Oshimi for being so open about his own feelings and experiences on these issues. He’s doing important work to dissolve the invisible divides people create, and I feel a kinship to him. Perhaps because I also have a weird BDSM fixation.

[playingwithgore]

do you have any movie recommendations for people that are trying to start watching non-mainstream horror movies 🙈 ?? thank you if you answer btw !!

AHH sorry it took me so long to answer I'm on vay-cay!! I love giving recommendations lol

So in the way of non-mainstream but still quality horror there is a lot of variety! I personally like obscure cult classics and underground indie gore stuff myself, but here is kind of a general list of a handful of lesser known horror flicks that I think any genre fan will like!

(in no particular order, with no particular theme other than me finding them underrated)

1. Mad God (2021) -> beautiful and gross and weird mixed media (mainly stop motion) surreal film, kind of dystopian. Creepy as hell!

2. The Lodge (2019) -> all the directing skill and theming of an A24 film but mysteriously unpopular! Also really really cool twist with who the villain is... Tw for animal death tho.

3. Possessor (2020) -> about an assassin who literally possesses people in order to get closer to her marks and it has like a freaky affect on her. It's super trippy and was made by fuckin Cronenburg’s son !! What more can I say.

4. Hush (2016) -> kind of a classic breaking and entering suspense building horror movie, but with an interesting framing device of the main character being deaf and mute. There r some pretty intense and scary scenes in this would highly recommend.

5. Hell House LLC (2015) -> this really every well executed found footage film about a group of people trying to start a haunted house Halloween attraction in an actually haunted/possessed building!

6. The Woman (2011) -> ooorgrhrjrh it was directed by the guy who made May (2002), another great movie, and this one is similarly uncomfortable but it's way less campy. Its this really really intense commentary about sexism and misogyny and it is HARD TO WATCH but I. I love it. The acting is a particular highlight. Tw for incest and s/a and... A whole mess of stuff. The lead man is perfectly detestable.

7. Teeth (2007) -> very infamous but I don't think most ppl have actually seen it and seen how good it is!!

8. Inside (2007) -> if you wanna get into new french extremity!! A genre you may know for Martyrs (2008), this is one I highly recommend. Another breaking and entering type deal but considerably more graphic than Hush.

9. Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006) -> a deconstruction of Ur classic slasher told in a mockumentary style about an aspiring serial killer, in a world where slashing is kind of... Just... A career? Idk it's really clever and fun.

10. Tremors (1990) -> coolest beasts ive ever seen in a movie. Need I say more? It is also very funny.

[robinniko]

Did you have any favorite fics from that list you were given a while back?

anon!!! thank you so much for this ask, i apologize that it literally took me so long to answer lmao i honestly just kept forgetting to log into my ao3 account thru chrome bc thats where i had them all neatly bookmarked (i hate bookmarking on safari, fuck you apple)

So! some i had already read so they were already fan favs to me but others i did not read that were somewhat newer and it was when i had taken a small break from 1d around 2020-2023, so i missed out on a lot of good fics

this one was terrific because i am a huge goonies fan and overall fan of cheesy 80s movies, so the writer really knew what they were doing its very campy and enjoyable to read! :

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13924200

THIS FIC WAS VERY INTERESTING! I love a good camping fic, and this one actually had me nervous and worried for Louis the entire fic lmao, listen harry was gonna be fine but louis? he was babygirl in this fic! The writer did a wonderful job with Louis as well, made him very relatable and fucking funny as hell, but also very silly. Like yea okay you find a hot guy in the woods and decide yea il camp with him. I highly recommend:

This particular fic was extremely? insane lol but not in a like super wild way but i always find the murderer x unaware lover trope super interesting, and the lover finding out and still accepting them? i eat that up!!!!!!! so this fic was one of my top favs like god….louis was so interesting to me in this fic, ok obviously harrys character is interesting no doubt but like…he loves louis and louis loves him :

This fic was inspired by one of my FAV CHEESY horror movies called Valentine, which i highly recommend the movie if you like cheesy gory slashers with mild to okay acting lol. The twist at the end is very fun and the kills are sick asf, they did a really good job at like replicating the movie! This was one i have read before but hadn’t reread it literally years, so rereading it was very fun lol :

THISSSSS FICCCCCCC DUDE okay listen this one is my TOP FIC FROM THE LIST, i know it’s 5th on this list lmao. BUT THIS FIC is my top fic, it had me hooked from the beginning and continued to have me hooked the entire time. The red herrings to the plot twists to harry&louis interesting relationship over the course of the fic. It’s even got dogs!!!!!! Seriously though i highly recommend this fic. It was very well written and the plot is extremely interesting, louis, niall, and zayn are bad bitches! :

anyone wondering what this anon is referencing, an anon a couple months ago complied this AMAZING list of dark/spooky fics, I genuinely recommend checking out all the fics that the anon referenced. Theres a ton of good ones that i did not discuss and I highly recommend them all! Obviously everyone has different taste and vibes when it comes to fics, but there might be a fic that you end up loving on this list!

You can find the ask here with all the complied fics (everyone say thank you anon):

[blueberry-lemon]

Sonic x Shadow Generations Mini-Review

Not a big formal thing, but I have the toxic trait of being a Sonic fan so I feel like I need to get my thoughts down in writing...

The “Sonic Generations” Part

Everyone’s entitled to their opinion, and I know people have really varying opinions on favorite Sonic games, but it always surprises me when people list Generations as “one of the best ones.”

I remember playing through the whole thing on Xbox 360 and thinking it was alright. This time, I’m not even sure whether I’ll finish it.

It’s just not for me. The physics, handling, and level design just feel really clunky to me and I don’t enjoy playing it. The side-scrolling levels kind of make me motion sick. 

The idea of being able to equip different Passive Skills is cool (I loved that in Sonic and the Secret Rings) but I feel like they didn’t really get creative about what the skills would be.

I didn’t really like the cutscenes in the original and I don’t really like them now despite them doing some re-writing and re-dubbing. It just feels really stilted and stiff to me.

Either way, it’s great that it’s available on modern consoles.

The “Shadow Generations” Part

As people have said already, this is the reason to try the game.

Liked it much more than the Sonic half. I’m really happy with how it came together and the stuff that they’re experimenting with.

Right off the bat, the physics and handling feel much more Dreamcast/Gamecube-era Sonic than “Boost Era” Sonic. I’m not saying one is better than the other, but I have more interest seeing them try to get the old handling right. It’s funny that Shadow handles differently in this than Sonic does in the same game release. It’s like they still haven’t, after all these years, decided how they want these games to control.

When it comes to Shadow’s gameplay, guns and motorcycles are out and superpowers are in. I think it’s a great idea, from both a mechanic standpoint and branding standpoint. I like Shadow starting off with Chaos Emerald -ish powers and ending with weird Venom Symbiote powers.

The new mechanics are silly but are also the spice that really brings this all together. Being able to slow down time is a natural fit for these games. The weird lock-on charge shot thing from Star Fox is also interesting, as it gives you “something to do” while you’re running in a straight line or grinding on a rail.

The hub world is interesting but, honestly, not for me. It feels too convoluted to get from point A to be point B. I got lost a few times and also felt a bit motion sick from whipping the camera around.

Writing-wise…I love that it’s campy and silly and angsty. That said…I don’t know why, but Sonic game writing (even with writers like Ian Flynn taking turns on it) just does not land for me pretty much ever. I don’t know why, it just always feels so forced and unnatural.

I absolutely love the writing in the Sonic comics (IDW and late-Archie), and I think the writing in the cartoons and web shorts are also good. I don’t know why it just never seems to click in the games. Maybe something about having to be sandwiched in between gameplay, or having to be localized into multiple languages, makes it feel all sanded down?

I also think the game is trying to be a big recap or “start here” point for Shadow as a character, but they present it a little too confusingly for its own good.

So sadly, for me, the writing was a low point.

In terms of visuals I think it looks pretty good. I like it. I don’t really understand why they use certain textures on the characters though (like Shadow’s “fur” and Gerald’s nose skin??)

We are living in an age of Maria looking way way waaaaay better than she did with her Sonic Adventure 2 model.

Anyway, end of review! Pretty decent game.

Although I like Sonic as a media franchise, I very rarely can get into the games. They’re just really not for me, especially because of the physics, controls, and level design.

Even when I have a bit of fun with one, like I did with Shadow Generations, I’m not sure I can earnestly put it in the same tier as other 3D platformers.

That said, I hope this is a bright sign for the future. If they took another crack at the Shadow Generations gameplay I think it’d be really nice.

Sadly, Sonic Team has always had this bizarre habit of just giving up on stuff and not iterating on it, so we’ll see what happens.

[heyclickadee]

This. A thousand times this.

Star Wars is, more than anything else, a fairy tale, and it often operates according to fairy tale logic. That doesn’t mean everything is going to be nice or hunky-dory, because a lot of fairy tales are miserable right up until the last few lines—if they have a happy ending for the central character at all—but it does mean that it’s going to center emotional sincerity over realism, and it absolutely means that there are going to be elements that are silly and pulpy and weird. It’s not hard science fiction, and it’s not trying to be.

I think some of it might be a side effect of chunks of the audience coming at Star Wars like the come at YA fiction—and YA fiction is good, but it does feature a very bare bones, no meat, no fat, no garnish, no sides, maybe a glass of water if you’re lucky style of storytelling that you don’t see elsewhere—and expecting it to operate the same way. I think audiences probably have a lingering post-9/11 “oh realism, oh real, oh here, oh now, oh hell,” kind of expectation for fiction to be dark and gritty. And I absolutely think there’s something about American society (probably other societies, too, but it’s the only one I can speak for) that wants so badly to pretend it’s allergic to anything that isn’t dripping in five layers of sarcasm. And maybe the way that the dominant form of pop media criticism from the mid 2000’s to the early 2010’s was stuff like “How it should have ended” and “Everything wrong with X in 60 seconds”—videos that started out as funny shticks but eventually turned into a critical framework based around digging up continuity errors and “flaws” in character logic—doesn’t help.

But more than anything, I think, there’s this desire on the part of good chunks of the audience to be perceived as serious and mature, and an awareness that Star Wars isn’t either one. That doesn’t mean it’s not good, because is often is. Star Wars at its best can be stirring, emotionally complex, funny, well-told, visually stunning, and even thought provoking, but it’s not really serious the same way that, say, Dunkirk is serious, and it’s not mature the way some people want it to be, because even at it’s darkest, it’s made with kids in mind. Rogue One and Andor are the only real exceptions, and even they have teeny tiny (itty bitty microscopic) little moments that border on camp. And because we have this misconception that anything made with kids in mind is automatically lesser, especially if there are elements that are lighthearted or campy, there’s a kind of…I don’t know, shame? Embarrassment? That comes with liking it, in some people’s cases, at least. Which is why you get people arguing that no, Star Wars isn’t for kids, or at least a particular Star Wars isn’t for kids because it’s too dark and complex on the one hand, and then people insisting that the campier and lighter elements aren’t really Star Wars, or shouldn’t be, and that all Star Wars should be grimdark and gritty on the other.

That’s fine—people can have preferences—and bits of the audience losing their shit at the camp has always been there. You should hear one of my uncles talk about the ewoks; he insists that nothing in Star Wars has been good since Wicket popped up on screen*. My brother is really enjoying Ahsoka, but he’s coming at things from a SW video game perspective, and he has a really hard time with the purrgil. And even in the SW animation part of the fandom, there are Clone Wars fans who refuse to give Rebels or Resistance a chance, partly because they seem too kid friendly, are still upset that The Bad Batch isn’t Rep Comm the show, and ignore huge chunks of The Clone Wars because a lot of The Clone Wars is very silly.

But the thing that really pushed the cringe against the camp of Star Wars was, I think, Andor. Or part of the audience reaction to Andor, at least. Andor is slick, mature, expressly for the adults in the audience, sprinkled with grittiness without just becoming a hopeless dirge—and not camp. It’s not silly. No green muppets or laser swords; just grim political drama. It came out, and suddenly there was a star war people could like without feeling weird about the the silly stuff or the campy elements. Which—great! Andor is an incredible show. I’m glad the people who had a hard time with those elements have a star war they can really get into.

Eeexcept that Andor very quickly became the standard of how Star Wars should be all the time, with no exceptions—not that Star Wars should always be that good, which is reasonable, but that Star Wars is only good when it is exactly like Andor, which is ridiculous. Andor is amazing, but it’s also a very particular flavor of Star Wars that’s tonally incongruous with the rest of the franchise.

And I think even Andor gets mischaracterized to some extent. I see a lot of people talk about Andor as though it’s just depressing, but, as gritty as it is, it still arcs towards hope. And even if it didn’t—there’s room enough in Star Wars for the Luthen Rael speeches and the space whales. It can be a kid running in terror as the only home she’s ever known gets firebombed into oblivion and it can be high stakes Mario Kart. Give me the collapse of space democracy AND the snail hobbits. What, a character living through *insert thing here* is silly? Oh, Vader didn’t earn his redemption and the idea that he’d do one last good thing because a part of him loves his son more than he hates himself is unrealistic? Good. Don’t go looking for realism here—that’s not the kind of story we’re in. Here we’ve got a government run by a cackling space wizard in a black robe and a dude who came back with spider legs made out of trash because he was literally too angry to die. Embrace the camp. The camp is fun.

Star Wars is, at its heart, very campy. We should embrace this.

[k-nonsense]

(Old ranking - go to my blog for updated rankings)

My rankings/reviews of all the k dramas I have seen so far (up to 18 now).

I’ve got 3 new kdramas, one I loved, one that bored me but had a killer OST, and one that was pretty cringe. I bolded the new dramas. I also changed the order of some of my old rankings as I remember some dramas more fondly than others as time goes by. I would recommend any drama I gave a C grade or higher.

1) Hometown Cha Cha Cha: It’s an absolute masterpiece and delight. I want to live in that fictional community forever. Grade: A+(Netflix)

2) Her Private Life: Super funny and charming. The romantic leads have incredible chemistry. The premise is so good! Might be the most rewatchable of all the k dramas I’ve seen so far. Grade: A (Netflix)

3) Rookie Historian Goo Hae Ryung: Great strong female lead. Very good messages. Couldn’t stop watching. The most adorable prince I’ve ever seen 💜Cha Eunwoo💜 Grade: A (Netflix)

4)Business Proposal: I bumped this up cause it’s been a minute but I can’t stop thinking about this drama. It’s got every trope you can think of and it does them all to perfection. It’s so good and will make you feel all the good feels. Can someone please give me another rec that’s like this drama? I need those good feels in my life again. Grade: A (Netflix)

5)Sh**ting Stars: Probable the biggest turnaround of any show I’ve seen (The “Africa” part was so bad - who thought that was ok?). Thankfully the show did a total 180 and quickly became one of my all time favorites. If you at all are interested in the world of celebrities and want to laugh, then swoon, then cry, then swoon again, I think you’ll really like it. I loved every single supporting character. All of their storylines were incredibly interesting. Plus it really makes you examine yourself as a fan and how you view/treat celebrities. One of the funniest and swooniest KDramas out there. Grade: A- (Viki)

6)Strong Woman Do Bong Soon: The main couple is absolutely everything! Just fast forward through pretty much every side plot (they are not important) and you’ll love it. Grade: A- (Viki)

7)So I Married the Anti-Fan: It’s campy, fluffy, goodness, with a fierce female lead and a K-pop star enemy/love interest. Fastest binge of my life. Grade: A- (Viki)

8)Start-Up: Exceptional acting, compelling storylines, intriguing plot twists, great cinematography, intense love triangle. It’s just all around high quality. Grade: B+ (Netflix)

9)Run On: Cute, fun, silly and pretty light. I especially loved the supporting cast. Strange storyline but it was a fun easy ride. Grade: B+ (Netflix)

10)Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok-Joo: A bad-ass yet vulnerable female lead. The main couple just had a lot of fun together. Refreshing. Grade: B+ (Viki)

11)Touch Your Heart: If you can just stick it out through the first few very shaky episodes, you will enjoy this adorable series. Grade: B (Netflix)

12)Doom at Your Service: It was sometimes real sad yet ultimately a heart warming mystical story. Grade: B (Viki)

13)What’s Wrong with Secretary Kim: it felt a bit formulaic at times but the main couple has great chemistry and the supporting cast are hilarious. Grade: B- (Viki)

14)True Beauty: I recently bumped this drama up because its actually aged well in my memory. However, it’s a little too much of an antsy teen drama for my taste. Cha Eunwoo though💜 Grade: C (Viki)

15)Crash Landing On You: The first half is GREAT but the second half is way too melodramatic for my taste. It’s a very interesting storyline, the main couple has insane chemistry, and there are very lovable side characters. Grade: C (Netflix)

16)My Secret Romance: I just kept thinking, “He’s awful. This is abuse of power! The mind games! Such in inappropriate boss behavior. Everything he says is gaslighting. Run the other way girl! So many red flags. Was this filmed on an iPhone 6?” But I also kept thinking, “Why can’t I stop watching this? He’s so pretty. They have great chemistry. This is problematic yet fun?” So 🤷‍♀️ Grade: D+ (Netflix)

17)Our Beloved Summer: V’s “Christmas Tree” OST was my favorite part of this drama. It always set the mood perfectly and made me momentary forget how bored I was with this drama. I realize that this is a very good critically acclaimed drama but to me it felt like it was basically about two people who were in love but inexplicably broke up and follows their lives as they start to call each other but then decide not to, over and over and over again. If you like more “deep” dramas you’ll probably like it but I’m simple minded I guess. Grade: D+ (Netflix)

18)Goblin: The age gap is too disturbing for me, like call the police disturbing. The only redeeming part for me was the Grim Reaper who is one of the most adorable characters I’ve ever seen. He saved it from totally failing for me. Grade: D- (Viki)

Currently Watching: Fight For My Way (and loving it)

What are your thoughts on these shows? Do you agree or disagree with my rankings? I’m kinda at a loss about what I should watch next. Thoughts? Is there a Business Proposal/ Sh**ting Stars type show out there that I haven’t watched yet? I have a list of shows to watch but I just want a high quality, light, campy, funny, swoony, easy to watch, show.

[roughentumble]

A Comprehensive List of Henry Cavill's Movies And TV Shows, And Whether I Personally Think They're Worth Watching

**Updated and current**

as requested by the oh so lovely @fangirleaconmigo

obviously take this list with a grain of salt, as im just one man, and i certainly have my biases. and even if something is in the "not worth it" section, if something about it intrigues you, feel free to totally ignore my advice! sometimes the best evenings come from watching reportedly terrible films, and one of my favorite Henry Cavill movies was summarily panned by critics and audiences alike. that being said, let's start with the stuff i didnt like.

NOT WORTH IT:

Red Riding Hood

----> Available for free on youtube, and yet still not worth your time. Poorly made, often unsettling, with bad music (in a musical of all things) and children forced into racist caricatures. Very funny if you want to watch Henry Cavill suck on a lollipop and get punched by a farting werewolf, however.

Vendetta (A.K.A. Laguna, A.K.A. Hotel Laguna)

----> Technically semi-competent... I suppose it's a mob movie? Also his film debut! But it's largely boring, and the entire film hinges on a sexual relationship between teenage Cavill and an older woman. Genuinely and deeply uncomfortable when she fondles his bare chest, and it's inescapable how much he LOOKS like a child in this film. If I never see a teen that young kiss an adult again, it'll be far too soon. *shivers in disgust*

Sand Castle

----> A war movie, and not a very good one. While I commend it for its attempts at an anti-war message (a very "why are we even over there" vibe), that doesn't make the movie less boring or more watchable. Those who love war movies didn't like it, and it wasn't anti-war enough to seduce the likes of me.

The Tudors (TV)

----> I think my mom summed it up perfectly when she said, in reference to her attempts to sit through season 1 and questions of why she bothered, "there was less on TV back then." (She never made it into season 2, by the way.) It's like the other historical dramas of it's ilk, so if you go crazy for those feel free to give it a shot, but even among its peers it's kind of not great. From the era where showtime really was putting an eye-rolling amount of sex in their shows, so get ready to be accused of watching soft-core porno on the family television like I was.

That being said, a lot of the sex scenes are Cavill's, so if that's your poison, this show'll keep you well fed.

Night Hunter (A.K.A. Nomis)

----> Apocalyptically terrible writing and editing. The performances the cast gave weren't bad, and the camera work itself looked plenty nice, but anything good to be said about the film is dragged down by the foundation itself being utterly rotted. Maybe good to put on to mock... when you aren't confused or bored to tears.

Hellraiser: Hellworld

----> It breaks my heart to say it, because I did find joy in this odd little film, but it's so genuinely bad that I would be a liar to place it anywhere else on the list. Campy and fun in places, but largely just boring, slow, confusing, and BAD. Not a real Hellraiser movie, not enough gore to appease horror fans, not meta enough to be meaningful while still being so meta it drags you out of the story. Genuinely the ending doesn't make sense.

If you're wildly in love with Henry Cavill, you'll love Mike. I love when he gets hooked in the chest and dies, the "sweet cheeks?" line is iconic, his zombie look is adorable. I'm getting a tattoo of the meat hook from this movie.

Do not watch it.

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MAYBE? I GUESS? I'M NOT YOUR DAD, I CAN'T CONTROL YOU:

Immortals

----> Some technically interesting work here, some nice fight choreography, and a unique visual style to the film. And yet it has such a blandness of performance across the board for all its actors, and such a confused and thoroughly Christian approach to what was supposed to be a story about greek myth, I could never recommend it to anyone. (Since when does Zeus "not interfere" in the lives of humans???) Just enough style points to eek it's way out of the "no" pile.

Whatever Works

----> Whatever Works is a Woody Allen film. This is enough to make it a controversial choice on its own. Certainly one of his lower quality works as well. Henry Cavill as Randy was a delight, however, so give it a chance if you watch Woody Allen movies! Not as bad as I thought it would honestly be, and again Cavill was really good as Randy, but I can't really in good concious put it in the recommend section.

Tristan + Isolde (2006)

----> Billing itself as an alternative to Romeo and Juliet, I mostly found the film to be boring, and I thought James Franco was a bland, boring lead. Other performances in the film were good (especially Rufus Sewell as Marke and Sophia Myles as Isolde), the movie looked fine, it just... was boring. Watch if you're an absolute sucker for this kind of period drama, otherwise skip it.

I Capture the Castle

----> I was deeply unkind to this film when I watched it. I didn't exactly go into it expecting to have a good time or with much of an open mind, which potentially colored my experience. I... didn't have a good time watching it, to be frank. But perhaps if you go into it with a kinder outlook, you'd enjoy it more. A film about love's many forms, how it often hurts us, and it's utterly illogical nature. If you bother watching it, I hope it's kinder to you than it was to me. Perhaps you'll even agree to walk with it through the bluebells, who knows?

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DEFINITELY WORTH IT:

Stardust

----> Not really "a Henry Cavill movie", as he's only in it for a few minutes, but the film is an exceedingly fun fantasy romp that's well worth your time. It's something of a cult classic for a reason.

Count of Monte Cristo

----> Excellent adaptation of an old classic, delightful watch. Cavill as Albert was wonderful, Jim Caviezel as Edmond was fantastic, and the ending made me genuinely gasp and sit on the edge of my seat. I didn't expect to love it, and yet I absolutely do!

Argylle

----> You don't get a whole lot of henry cavill for your buck, but it's a fun goofy spy film that you could easily watch with the family! Sam Rockwell is also there, as well as Bryce Dallas Howard, and theyre both fun to watch. Ignore the fact the special effects look like they spent $12 on them, and allow it to just be a fun time, and it'll treat you right!

The Cold Light of Day

----> Nothing mindblowing, and Sigourney Weaver + Bruce Willis give shamefully bad performances. And yet, Cavill is a charismatic lead, the chase sequences appropriately thrilling, and it's overall a perfectly servicable action movie. Grab some popcorn and make a movie night of it, IMO.

Blood Creek

----> Another perfectly servicable film. Not blowing any minds, but fun while it's on. Unfortunately, the plot relies heavily on Nazi mysticism (a personal pet peeve of mine), and some of the CGI leaves something to be desired. But still, at its heart it manages to be a very fun horror flick, if you're into cheap horror like me.

The Man From U.N.C.L.E.

----> This is... a flawed movie. And it's extremely hard to recommend when Armie Hammer is so unintentionally frightening in his role as Illya. And yet, the intro sequence is so FUN, Cavill as a thief is so delightful, I'd be remiss not to recommend it. Fun little spy romp!

Mission Impossible: Fallout

----> It is a Mission Impossible movie. Not much more to say, you either love them or hate them, but they know EXACTLY what they're doing, and they have it down to a science.

Enola Holmes

----> A great time all around! Go into it expecting it to skew for younger audiences, and you'll have an absolute blast. 13 year old me would kill to watch this movie. Millie Bobby Brown was great as Enola, and her relationship with Cavill's Sherlock genuinely tugged at my heart, because I am deep down a huge sap.

Enola Holmes 2

----> Ditto! Same as the first, just as worth your time!

Lynley Mysteries & Midsomer Murders (TV)

----> Lumping these two together, as they're both one-off episodes of long-running, competently made, british police procedurals. The episodes are definitely worth a watch, though I can't speak to either series as a whole.

The Witcher (TV)

----> Obviously divisive among long standing fans of the series, and not without its flaws (S2E2, jfc), but ultimately for all my bitching, I'm a TWN stan, and Henry Cavill's Geralt owns my heart. Also probably the reason you're reading this list, so I don't feel the need to expand all that much.

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YES, THE DC MOVIES GET THEIR OWN HEADING:

-> *long, beleaguered sigh*

-> ok so, like. ok. how much do you like superhero movies? how much of your life are you willing to devote to a zack snyder production that spent half the time setting up plot threads for a large expanded universe that the execs very suddenly pulled the plug on? how little do you love yourself.

-> jokes aside there are redeeming qualities in these films, and if you really love the characters i'm certain you'll find value in some of them.

Man of Steel

----> Despite my very real and present complaints about odd tone, too much illogical lip service paid to the armed forces, a runtime that makes me want to start throwing punches (Just skip the first 20 minutes exactly. They do not matter. They do not add anything), a sterility to the script, and lack of care or acknowledgement given to civilian lives (something at the heart of superman and present in THE AVENGERS, so to do worse than the avengers is pretty egregious)... IT'S STILL a decently fun and entirely servicable (apologies to Mr. Cavill for how many times I use that word in reference to his films) superhero movie. I like Cavill's Clark Kent! I like his little bouncy curls, and I like how much he loves his momma. Superman is fun! He's my friend. MoS worth it, if you can find it in your heart to spare 2 and a half hours for it.

----> VERDICT: WORTH IT

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice: Ultimate Edition

----> Don't bother watching anything other than the Ultimate Edition. It's the only one you'll find half the time you're looking for the film, anyway. This film, to me, is the sink or swim moment. Tooth-grindingly long, and more of what you got in Man of Steel. It's-- ok, I didn't like the Christ allegory, but that's also blatantly Zack Snyder's entire thing wrt Superman, so I can't blame the movie for being exactly what it said it was. If you can get through this movie and enjoy it, then the rest of the DCEU films will be a breeze, and you're now officially A Fan. If this movie is a slog that makes you wanna die, do not bother with any other DCEU films, this is the point where they're officially Not Your Thing (said with affection, not derision). Despite all my complaints, Superman is my best friend and I think about this movie constantly. Wonder Woman is the best. Clark STILL loves his mom(yay!!!). The fact they decided to tackle doomsday+the death of superman as their plotline for this movie is so fascinating to me that I'm giving them points for sheer audacity.

----> VERDICT: WORTH IT, KIND OF, BUT FEEL FREE TO TURN IT OFF AND NEVER WATCH A DCEU MOVIE AGAIN

Justice League (Joss Whedon's Cut)

----> *rubbing my temples* Everything within me screams to tell you not to watch this abomination of a film, because of Joss Whedon's obvious and blatant racism and sexism, but it is admittedly much shorter and a bit easier to follow if you're not a fan of Snyder's style or you're not a big comic book person. Whedon made reshoot decisions that removed the black character Victor Stone, A.K.A. Cyborg, from prominence in the plot. He was arguably the(or at least a) main character in Snyder's version, and Whedon cut his scenes extensively, and then added extra scenes to make Batman the protagonist instead. Not to mention adding in scenes of a slightly sexual nature that Gal Gadot(Wonder Woman's actress) refused to film, which he then got a body double for and digitally added her face in post. BUT!!! But. I must admit. 2 and a half hours versus 4 and a half hours is an appealing cut-back in length, and some people find it difficult to follow Snyder's exposition-heavy style. Plus there are a few added scenes of Superman which are genuinely adorable, if very short. If you're a fanatic, watch both. If you just want to watch one version... Well, I would recommend Snyder's, but weigh the pros and cons for yourself.

----> VERDICT: WATCH IT IF YOU 1) LIKE DC FILMS BUT 2) AREN'T THAT INVESTED, AND 3) ARE LOOKING FOR SOMETHING SHORTER OR PERHAPS EASIER TO FOLLOW. IF NONE OF THOSE CONDITIONS APPLY, DON'T WATCH.

Justice League (Zack Snyder's Cut. Also knows as "Zack Snyder's Justice League")

----> Genuinely unforgivably long. Zack Snyder, I don't forgive you for the length of this movie. AND YET I personally had a total blast with it. Coming hot off the heels of Whedon's cut, seeing Cyborg more fully fleshed out was like a dream come true, and some of Whedon's trademark 'humor'(which these days I find grating) is thankfully lacking. I personally find it to be a better movie, a better showcase of the characters, and all around more fun, but I had also innoculated myself against the strain of long Zack Snyder superhero movies by doing marathons of his other DC films before diving into this one. Also the film has a lot of references to future plotlines which will never fully make sense, because they were sequel set-ups for movies that never got made. Those parts are... hard to sit through, whether because of confusion/boredom or the heartbreak of knowing you'll never get to see that movie which doesn't exist(depending on your emotional investment). For some reason this film is split up into like 5 or more different "chapters", and I theorize that you could watch one chapter a day like it's an episode of television if you need to not watch it all in one sitting, and you might get a better experience out of it that way. Superman is here and he's still my friend! He still loves his ma soooo much! There's a super fun scene with his heat vision!! Wonder Woman and Cyborg and The Flash and Aquaman are here!

----> VERDICT: THIS IS THE VERSION I RECOMMEND IF YOU'RE SOLD ON WATCHING THE JUSTICE LEAGUE, BUT I WOULDN'T BEGRUDGE YOU IF THE RUNTIME SCARED YOU AWAY. WEIGH THE PROS AND CONS BETWEEN THIS AND WHEDON'S CUT, AND WATCH WHAT WORKS FOR YOU. AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE DC MOVIES PLEASE DON'T MAKE YOURSELF WATCH THIS.

Zack Snyder's Justice League: Justice Is Gray

----> Literally just Zack Snyder's cut of the Justice League, but in black and white.

----> VERDICT: PLEASE DEAR GOD DON'T WATCH THIS IF YOU'VE ALREADY WATCHED THE OTHER ONE. IT ISN'T WORTH IT. DON'T SPEND FOUR HOURS OF YOUR PRECIOUS LIFE ON "THE SAME MOVIE BUT IT'S BLACK AND WHITE NOW"

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CHEAT FILM:

I must admit that, despite saying I've watched "everything" Cavill's ever made, I've only seen clips of his performance for the following film.

In Goodbye, Mr. Chips, he only has a 5 minute apperance. It seems a good enough movie, I suppose, but I couldn't bring myself to sit through hours of TV movie for 5 minutes of Cavill, especially not when his scene has been politely uploaded to youtube. His scene was moving, despite the fact I experienced it completely disconnected from the rest of the film, so make of that what you will.

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...phew! ok, that's everything, i think.

feel free to disagree on any of my placements. also feel free to watch night hunter and then come yell in my inbox about how it sucked, because i am constantly shouting into the ether about it and no one understands my pain.

i hope this is helpful for anyone interested in watching some hcav movies but not sure where to start... i suppose i am now some sort of authority on the matter, though i didnt intend to become one lmao.

im very excited for his upcoming roles, both in the romance The Rosie Project, and in the rumored Highlander film. not to mention an Enola Holmes sequel (!!!) and..... Argylle, which i will make myself watch because i am now committed. hopefully i can find some way to distract myself from his truly terrible hair... though i never would've started my marathon if i hadn't been disgusted by his haircut in Argylle, and then immediately wanted to see him as a spy with GOOD hair. so i suppose i have to thank it, which i will do by sitting through the whole movie. thank you and you're welcome, mr. cavill (EDIT: it turned out great 10/10, yay!)

if anyone likes this enough or cares, i can update it to include more henry cavill movies as they come out! <3