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taleofharrison · 4 years

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I’ll Never Give You Away | Ashton Irwin

Summary: No summary because I feel that the warnings give too much away and I don’t want to spoil it more but you need to know it is based on the movie Jersey Girl.

Warnings: Death, crying and agnst at the end. Italics are flashbacks and memories

Prompt: When I take a look at my life and all of my crimes you’re the only thing that I think I got right. - Lover of mine by 5sos

Word Count: 2035

A/N: This is my entry to the writing challenge by @writingfortoomanyfandoms I really hope you like it and it’s my first 5sos fic so I’m a little nervous, feedback is appreciated and I’m not a native English speaker I practice my writing skills by writing fanfcition so any comments and tips on that note are welcome too. Enjoy!

As Y/N made her final touches to her make-up she let her brain wander through the memory lane.

“Ash where are you taking me?” Y/N giggled as she let her boyfriend guide her through an empty beach in Australia.

“Princess we’re back home how many times do we get to run on the beaches we grew up?” he answered taking a quick look over his shoulder to look at girl who looked flustered. Even though they’ve been dating for almost 3 years the nickname princess still gave her butterflies and Ashton knew. He loved it.

“I know but can’t you please let go of my arm” she said with a smile. She knew Ashton didn’t hurt her in purpose he was just nervous about what was about to happen “t’s starting to hurt”

“Sorry I just-“ He had gotten to the place he had planned to be with her “D’you remember when we were younger?”

“Yes, we ran away every time we could to this beach” Y/N smiled at the memory “we used to play with the ocean and you asked me here if I wanted to move to California with you”

“I still can’t believe you said yes” he chuckled looking down at his feet “I mean we weren’t anything yet”

“We were best friends that was more than enough to me” the girl smiled again. Ashton loved that smile he can’t even remember when he fell in love with her.

“This beach saw us grow and was a witness of important moments of our history” Y/N giggled at Ashton’s sudden change to deep thinker. She liked it though “That’s why I brought you here, so it can witness another big milestone in our lives”

“When I take a look at my life and all of my crimes you’re the only thing that I think I got right” When Ashton got down on one knee Y/N couldn’t believe it “So Y/N Y/L would you say yes to another of my crazy ideas?” he had a blue velvet box in his hands with the most beautiful ring Y/N had ever seen.

“Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes!” with tears in her eyes Y/N throw herself at Ashton’s arms. In that moment they were the happiest people on Earth.

“What are you thinking?” Ashton voice brought her back to reality.

“Just remembering” she said “when you proposed”

“Another time I couldn’t believe you actually agreed with me to do something” he smirked placing a kiss on the top of her head “You ready to go?”

“Yes, just let me get my purse” Y/N sighed a tone of sadness in her voice. Nobody would’ve notice but Ashton knew her better than he knew himself.

“Now what’s the matter?” he asked again getting a questioning look from you “don’t give me that look what’s up?”

Y/N sighed again before speaking “It’s your first Gammy nomination and I’m going with you seven months pregnant. This isn’t exactly how I visualized this moment for us”

“I think you look stunning” Ashton smiled giving her a small peck on the lips “Besides you know you are my lucky charm. Both of you are”

Y/N smiled he always said the right words to help her feel better “Alright Mr. Grammy Award Winner let’s go. We don’t wanna be late”

“I haven’t won anything yet” he laughed.

“Didn’t you say we are your lucky charm?” Y/N smirked with a hint of fun could be found on her words.

“We are 5 seconds of summer thank you for coming tonight” Luke spoke right after the last song. It was the first concert with an actual audience and Ashton.

“I can’t believe they told me that about two hundred people would be seeing us tonight” he complained once he could get back to his best friends all the 12 people there had gone home “They were like 12”

“Well Ash I was the thirteenth person here in the audience” Y/N laughed at his tone of voice and face.

“Nice now you’re making fun of me” he rolled his eyes punching her shoulder playfully.

“Ash it doesn’t matter if I’m the thirteenth person on the venue or the ten thousand one there. I’ll support you every single time” Y/N assured him holding his hand giving it a squeeze “This was only your first gig and I know you’ll go far”

He slightly smiled at your words “You’re right. I’m just taking this too seriously”

“Now you have to properly introduce me to my replacement” Y/N said dragging Ashton with his bandmates.

“Replacements?” he said a hint sound of fun in his voice.

“Well yeah, aren’t they your new best friends now”

A quiet afternoon had been interrupted by three guys bursting in with gifts in hands for Lea, Ashton and Y/N’s baby girl who was just a month away from making her debut into the world.

“One night” Ashton groaned as he closed the door behind them “one night with my wife is all I’m asking you guys”

The Australian boys ignored his complains as they pushed past him making their way to the living room where Y/N and Ashton had been binge watching Friends.

“We were thinking that maybe baby Lea would need some of these” Calum said showing the couple a big shopping bag.

“Guys the baby shower was months ago” Y/N said. She was tired being 8 months pregnant wasn’t easy. It was taking a big toll on her emotionally and physically “this baby has everything she needs by now”

“You never have too many stuffed animals Y/N” this time it was Luke with a big pout on his face “one of these could be the toy that will be her friend for the rest of her childhood”

Y/N laughed of course they came here just to make her laugh. They hadn’t seen her in a while since she barely left the house so close to the due date and with a babysitter in the house. Whether it be Sierra or Crystal Ashton didn’t want Y/N to be alone or outside the house while he was at the studio.

“And maybe we can help get the nursery ready” Michael pointed.

“The nursery’s been ready for weeks arseholes” Ashton told them

“Well we just missed Y/N we wanted to visit her” Calum shrugged

“That’s so sweet!” Y/N exclaimed “But right now isn’t a good time, rain check?”

The boys nodded being escorted by Ashton to the door.

“I know baby” she softly said to the belly “your uncles are crazy, but they are so excited to meet you. We all are”

The day came. Ashton was with you he had taken a few days off the studio, so he could be with Y/N all the way to the hospital to deliver the baby.

“Ok so the suitcase is in the car. I called the boys they know Lea is coming and we’re ready to go” Ashton was trying really hard to keep his cool a thing Y/N found endearing since she knew that his mind must go to a 1000 miles per hour right now.

He drove as fast as he could to the hospital but of course he was second guessing since his pregnant wife came in the car with him going into labor. At the hospital he was quick to fill the paperwork while some nurses took Y/N in a wheelchair.

Once Ashton could go into the hospital room he never left Y/N’s side. He held her hand and talk about all the things he was planning to do with Lea.

“I’m going to teach her how to play drums” he said excitedly with a gleam in his eyes. A gleam Y/N only had seen the day the got married “I’m so excited this is happening”

About two hours later nurse came in to tell the couple that Y/N was ready to go into the delivery room. This is it. They were going to meet their littler girl.

“Now Y/N one more push okay just one more” the doctor asked. Y/N squeezed Ashton hand one last time. The rest is a blur.

They took the baby away from them to clean her up. Ashton heard her crying and he smiled then he saw how Y/N fell asleep in front of him, he whispered her name before the nurses pushed him away kicking him out of the delivery room that’s when he started screaming his wife’s name.

Ashton waited outside the room sitting on the floor head between his knees waiting for a nurse or a doctor to come out and tell him that everything was okay both mother and daughter were ready to see him again and maybe go home tomorrow morning even earlier if possible.

“Mr. Irwin” the voice came from a doctor. Ashton was quick to pick him up the floor “I’m sorry but we did what we could. Y/N…she’s gone”

Ashton world couldn’t believe what supposed to be one of the happiest days of his life became the most bittersweet day. The doctor kept speaking but he just didn’t listen was he was saying the room around became black while tears came down his eyes.

“…on the other hand, you have a beautiful healthy baby girl waiting to meet you right there” the doctor said in the most neutral tone possible pointing at what was Y/N’s hospital room “One more time I’m so sorry for your lost”

Ashton was again crying on the floor. He wanted more than anything to meet Lea, but he wasn’t ready he just couldn’t see her in that moment and as if on cue three loud Australian boys came in looking for the Irwin family balloons and even more toys in hands.

“Where’s our niece?” Michael asked with a pink bunny balloon in hand. His smiled faded away the moment he saw his friend.

“And my goddaughter?” Luke’s tone changed from happy to dull in less than a second “What? Where?”

“Y/N…she couldn’t-“ Ashton was struggling for the words to came out but his voice kept breaking “the doctor said…Lea’s there and I just can’t pick myself up to see her”

“Hey hey hey Ash it’s okay it’s hard” Calum kneeled to be on eye level with Ash “We know you want to grieve and we have no idea how you must be feeling but right now you’re all that little girl has and we are here” Calum turned to see Luke and Michael tears in their eyes “We will always be here and we will help you with everything you need”

He picked Ashton from the shoulders so he could stand up at the same time “Now go in there and hold Lea we will wait here”

Ashton took a deep breath and pushed the door open and there she was, a beautiful girl sleeping in a pink blanket he just stared down at her “she looks like you” he whispered up to the sky “I’ll do my best with her I promise” he whispered again to the sky.

Lea started to cry. Ashton was quick to pick her up “It’s okay” he whispered against his head “I know you miss mommy I miss her too and when you grow I’ll tell you everything about her but right now it’s just and me against the world”

She kept crying but not as loudly “Do you want me to sing you a song?” he asked even though she couldn’t answer “Your mommy’s favorite was Lover of Mine maybe that’ll work”

He softly hummed the lyrics “I'll never give you away 'cause I've already made that mistake if my name never fell off your lips again I know it'd be such a shame when I take a look at my life

and all of my crimes you're the only thing that I think I got I right I'll never give you away…I’ll never give you away” and his little girl was asleep again.

He understood in that moment that he needed to be strong for her and to support her as best as he could the rest of her life. He opened the door and peaked his head.

“Hey do you want to meet you niece?”

Gif not mine

#courts4kwritingchallenge #5sos #5sos imagine #5sos x reader #5sos blurb #5sos fic #5sos fanfic #ashton irwin x reader #ashton irwin #ashton irwin imagine #ashton irwin blurb #ashton irwin fic #My Writing Corner #5 seconds of summer #5sos agnst

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skamamoroma · 4 years

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WTFOCK Season 3 Analysis- Touch and Distance - (Sander focused)

First of all, this will be long. As in, VERY long. If you know me and you followed me at ALL for Skam Italia or WTFOCK ‘analysis’ posts (which I WILL finish) then you’ll know the length to expect… so if you get even half way, you deserve a medal.

So, I have been promising this for a LONG time. I think I first said I’d write this when the reunion clip was released and I just… haven’t but seeing as we’re all in quarantine and I’m doing anything and everything to stay sane in my flat alone and we could all do with stuff to cheer us up, I’m offering this to fandom and I hope it makes you smile.

I think the reason I fell in love with Skam, the format and the intense character focus is because I love just that. I have always had an obsession with strong character driven TV shows/movies and even when I was tiny, I wrote an essay about Mary Poppins because I found her so mysterious and amazing. Shows like Skam and its remakes, when they’re GOOD they’re really really bloody amazing, mainly because they hone in on character detail and really use it for that perfect Skam-esque “show not tell” format. I’ve always found that kind of stuff so interesting and over the years have held this little collection of couples/characters/friendships from allsorts of shows/movies/theatre dear because they celebrate nuance… and Skam just spoils me!!

I have been MASSIVELY impressed with WTFOCK have done with Sander. He feels so fleshed out and dynamic as a character and in SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS too. I think one of the things I was so giddy about was the way they still managed to keep the mystery there while also making it seem like we knew him so well. And we do. But I think that’s the reason it’s so cool because a lot of the things we know about Sander, he hasn’t really TOLD us. We’ve learned it through his actions or from reading into his words, from his reactions to people and the way he lives his life. That, to me, is like crack hahaha. I live for that stuff and for analysing a character and so I became a bit fixated on the way they used touch in season 3.

Now, it’s not just with Sander but with Robbe too. Touch was an ENORMOUS part of the season and we never really EVER had either of them talk about it. Robbe never really expressed verbal discomfort with touch early on but we saw it and Sander never expressed how important touch was to him but we witnessed it...and now we’re watching wtfockdown with Sander specifically struggling with lack of touch. Safe to say, I knew I had to write this eventually and after quite a few messages (you lovely lot), I am doing this for you. Enjoy!

SANDER FIRST...

SANDER.

When it comes to Sander, I feel like I have SO MUCH TO SAY but I think, the most important thing, is that touch is a cornerstone of character in terms of what calms him, what makes him happy, what makes him feel connected, what soothes him, how he expresses love, how he wants to show love, how he flirts… ALL OF IT, and distance is what plagues him.

I re-watched each clip in turn and I’m still obsessed with how they layered his character with this idea. No other Even and not even Even himself has this element so strongly emphasised. Yes, they all like touch and some of the parallels have specific things that form part of their character like Eliott and Lucas and the whole touch of skin thing and Cris/Joana with the hair/cheeks thing and Even always loved to ground himself in touching Isak ETC… but with Sander, it’s such a narrative and it’s woven in so beautifully. ABOVE ALL, what makes me smile and what is so meaningful is that as Robbe grows and opens up and learns about touch himself (see my Robbe post to come), we see that Sander is gifted this really sweet boy who LOVES to touch and who is incredibly affectionate and finds himself learning that he is INCREDIBLY good at providing comfort. So their love story also becomes a story of touch and navigating distance from those perspectives.

I guess writing it out helps to see it so I’ll go chronologically.

The first time we see Sander use touch is when he’s in the kitchen with Robbe. The entire scene is practically choreographed it’s so fluid but the lack of space, the shuffling around each other and the general ‘oh my god this person makes me feel things’ vibe makes the fact that when Sander purposefully touches Robbe for the first time, it’s a THING… that hand on his back. They do kind of brush up against each other a few times but that little linger of the camera on Sander’s hand on Robbe’s back makes me GIDDY because it’s all so intentional. It’s Robbe’s face that does me in. You don’t need his words because he does this sort of glance behind him and a bashful sort of dazed stumble… it’s so obvious that being touched like that by Sander got to him in an overwhelming way. It’s all electricity and that kind of giddy new love thing in the kitchen but that moment KILLS me because it’s touch that Robbe WANTS but doesn’t feel able to have… but Sander gives it because he’s SANDER. He’s demonstrable and purposeful (I will use that word a lot!) with touch.

Sander does stuff in a way that’s bold and purposeful (told you) and touch is part of that. ALL THE WAY OR NO WAY - right? So many times, you can see Sander decide and then act immediately. SO MANY TIMES. In the supermarket, feeding Robbe, in the bar when he decides to take Robbe off on an adventure, at the swimming pool ETC. SO MANY. And touch is a thing all wrapped up in that sense of purpose and spontaneity. His actions are mostly not overbearing or unwanted though which is so key. People seem to feel comfortable with him even if he is a little forward and NOBODY more than Robbe. Robbe doesn’t recoil, he lets it happen and not in the passive way we see him do early on but in the OH WOW HE TOUCHED ME way that can only come with attraction and early feelings. BUT THEY HAD KNOWN EACH OTHER HOURS. Hours, and Robbe was fine with it.

Sander and flirting... HE IS SO OBVIOUS and touch is part of it every single time. That whole ‘oops I rolled into you in the sand’ is just textbook, man! Hahaha. I laugh at him early on because he is genuinely adorable with how obvious he is. Same can be said for the “oops I just need to grab this bottle that just happens to be right next to you which means I need to stand so close to you and wrap my arms around you’ - hahahaha. Not to mention the ‘oh let me teach you to turn on the oven and lightly touch our fingers’. Purposeful.

Then you get the first time they’re together alone for their bike ride. I mean, we all know Sander is giddy. It’s what makes it so sweet to watch because he’s just SO HAPPY to have Robbe by himself and to go off on this adventure together. I LOVE the way he holds Robbe’s hand after they high five…. BOY. He takes advantage of stuff while he can. But when they get to the pool, it’s obviously an Even move and we all know how it goes but the first time he touches Robbe is to kiss him. We know it’s all he wanted, we know it was his plan, we know he’s been wanting to do it a long time but I LOVE that they kept in the recoil from Robbe because it is absolutely NOT a gradual progression for Robbe when it comes to Sander… it’s ALL IN and scary and overwhelming and Robbe’s instincts kick in but the second Robbe kisses Sander back, we get the start of seeing Sander and touch being a HUGE DEAL. Robbe is still learning and faced with the way Sander acts first, thinks later, the differences between them in this moment are STARK. It’s why it all goes so catastrophically wrong afterwards but why I understood what Robbe did even if it was so very wrong.

Sander is SUCH an Even and I’ve always said he reminds me of Even the most of all the parallels but especially when he kisses. He’s a passionate dude! He kisses with meaning and with all he has and it’s little wonder Robbe described it as his head exploding… poor guy! You get that first glimpse of Sander acting on his feelings and he’s overwhelming. In that pool, he grasps and holds on and Robbe’s hair becomes a total THING for him.

For me, I get most interested in touch from Chernobyl onwards. THAT CLIP. The stuff in it that’s so subtle but AMAZING when it comes to Sander makes me roll around in it, in the way it MEANS so much and says a lot about who he is. The DISTANCE he keeps from Robbe is not something we’ve seen from him yet. It’s clearly not comfortable for him but he deserves to keep it until he feels comfortable and I LOVE LOVE LOVE that he only moves closer but DOESN’T touch Robbe yet. And this next moment is what sparked my obsession…. The “i’m going to nearly kiss you and then not kiss you” moment. He uses touch to make a point. Purposeful. He stands close but they don’t touch and then he teases with it… tests Robbe’s response with it to see what he’d do. Robbe doesn’t move and allows it. He then clarifies how Robbe feels about stuff now and the second he gets his answer … fuck all of that noise and fuck all the issues I had in my head (a sentiment we KNOW Sander understands and grasps onto eventually - Chernobyl being the way he himself describes the effects of his bipolar disorder) he goes all in and closes the distance. KILLS ME. That use of touch to make a point is Sander ALLOVER. Never without purpose.

They don’t STOP touching AT ALL… until it’s used AGAIN. This time, this huge focus on pulling apart. It’s gradual. They disconnect from their bodies then they disconnect from lips and then that lingering shot on their hands and the whole holding on until the very last second…COME ON. It’s so perfect. So intentional and so meaningful. The fact that Sander holds on purposefully for so long until he absolutely can’t anymore, it makes him STUMBLE…. If that’s not a whole metaphor for who he is as a character then I don’t know what is! He WON’T allow that distance until he absolutely has to… and that fact characterises their ENTIRE story right up until wtfockdown!

Onto the cuddle scene and again, from Chernobyl, it’s full of poignant moments. It’s an overload in terms of seeing Sander respond to touch. There’s a lot of touching in this clip, a lot of playful stuff and kisses and cuddles but I think there are a few specifics that are in there for a reason that say so much. The first is the hair stroking. Now, we know Robbe and Sander LOVE touching each other’s hair and there’s a fair amount of pulling involved too… haha… but it’s so telling the way that Sander relaxes under Robbe’s touch. He spends most of that scene with his eyes closed. It relaxes him, makes him sleepy and comfortable and Robbe clearly realises it because when Sander seems distressed, Robbe goes straight to do it again. It’s all part of Robbe’s journey wrapped up in there too, learning how his touch can be soothing.I love that Sander barely moves from his position upside down on the bed. He allows Robbe the ability to do ANYTHING. He lets Robbs move around him, lets Robbe touch him and climb on top of him. He just basks in it and please go rewatch it and watch his eyes even when Robbe is talking… he closes them constantly like it’s making him fall asleep. He’s so comforted by it. When Robbe climbs on him, his eyes are even closed! He’s just VERY VERY happy allowing Robbe anything when it comes to moving around him and in his space. He lets Robbe koala himself on his back without a flinch, is so comfortable with the affection and clearly soaking it all in. I think the other moment is when Sander realises Robbe’s jealousy/upset and goes to very purposefully lie down against him to tuck his head under Robbe’s chin. The purpose in it, at the time, seemed kinda sheepish but we know better now. We KNOW Sander had tried to distance himself from Britt but she wasn’t allowing it and this is Sander purposefully closing that distance, taking it back and seeking Robbe’s touch again. It’s like he’s had that comforting touch now and, without it, it doesn’t feel right so he closes the distance the VERY SECOND he can. He does this a few times from here on out too… that lack of ability to stay apart from Robbe, the wish to keep that comfort coming.

There’s this struggle we see from him AGAIN and AGAIN. When stuff with Robbe suffers because Sander’s truth gets in the way (with Britt texting in the cuddle scene, with their distance before the reunion where Sander tried to leave Robbe behind etc)... he CANNOT wait to remove the distance as quickly as he possibly can. The only exception is when they’ve been apart post hotel and Sander is unwell… but we know he’s frightened, embarrassed, worried about hurting Robbe and we know that he’s trying to keep Robbe at arm’s length to protect him but… and I’ll get onto it later but it’s PERFECT to me that the second he has touch back, the second Robbe kisses him, he crumbles. It means THAT MUCH to him. It’s such a pattern with him and it starts here, with Sander crawling across the bed, not allowing Robbe to be too far away while he still has him.

For me, it epitomises that idea of “i don’t know if I’ll find someone like that, at least not someone who loves me”. Because, for Sander, he WANTS so badly. He wants to be in love and to find someone special and be able to show love but he’s terrified. For such a purposeful person, someone who acts on instinct, that is clearly so hard for him. He WANTS but he has to force himself NOT TO for all of the reasons he gives and for all of the reasons we can read from his behaviour. Those moments he stays away - aka post assault, post hotel - are all for a good reason and yet the second he realises that the worries that lead to his belief that he can’t HAVE are unfounded or resolved, he closes any and all distance and holds on for dear life. “I’m never ever letting go of you”. ALL THE WAY OR NO WAY. He either allows himself everything and that ‘all in’ sense of falling head over heels and clinging on for dear life or he cuts and runs… and the cutting/running part honestly must have hurt so badly for him. We know how much Robbe means to him and how much touch and comfort he gets from their relationship… to leave that behind when he can’t remain over the other side of the bed from Robbe normally must have been so hard for him.

ANYWAY. The date. I’ve talked about this endlessly but the first minute or so of this clip is some of the best chemistry I’ve seen in the SCU and, in general, to be honest. It hit me like a freight train when I first saw it. For LGBT+ folks, seeing stuff like this is impactful. Mainly because it’s shown as so natural and normal and given the same respect and focus on desire and sweetness and simplicity as hetero love stories have been given for millenia!

They touch constantly throughout this clip but I just LOVE the focus on it. The camera lingers. Every shot is there for a reason. Sander’s touch goes from playful to casually affectionate to passionate to suggestive within seconds and he drowns in it! It’s mesmerising to watch. Again, it almost feels choreographed. The moment that kills me is Sander just running one finger across Robbe’s collar bone. WHOEVER decided to include that --- director or writer or even actor --- it’s just perfect. It’s so Sander. He doesn’t stop touching and that little focus on the fact that he always wants to show how he feels through touching Robbe...the fact that it is on his skin when Robbe is wearing a full on sweatshirt shows how much Sander seeks intimacy out. It’s so purposeful once again and yet so simple… but the main thing is that Sander uses touch to keep that connection going. The music change at that exact moment is what does it for me. It’s dream-like, swoony and mesmerising. You can feel the dazed sense of love and adoration, the intimacy of the fact that Sander can’t help but hold onto Robbe’s hair again and even when he’s whispering to him, can’t help but chase it with kisses. Sander uses every thought and feeling he has inside and translates it directly into touch. He communicates with it!

Which leads pretty nicely onto the reunion… because the next time we have Sander able to reach out physically is SO MUCH LATER. The assault, the distance Robbe enforces (for good reason because of what he believes happened at the party) and then the confusion about the mural creates SO MUCH DISTANCE.

The start of the reunion clip is one of my all time favourite SCU moments from any remake. The acting is near perfection. I’ve posted tons about it before but GOD. I love that, to this point, after that intense, hazy kind of love they were starting in the bar… everything was torn away from them. As I said before, Sander is either ALL IN or not at all. When he’s in, he’s REALLY in and touch is fundamental.

So it KILLLLLLSSSSSS MEEEEEEE (Yes, I am being dramatic but GOD) that the first thing he does when he walks in the foyer of Robbe’s building, without explanation and after so long apart and so much mess existing between them is… close the distance between them physically.

This scene reminds me of the La Grotta scene from Skam It s2. Every touch and movement in that scene with Marti and Nico is a form of communication and it’s the same here. I guess it’s why I love both scenes so much because ‘show not tell’ is precious and intelligent and so so much more meaningful for a viewer. The way Sander just stands there and then without words, kisses Robbe and tries to do what he can normally do so easily and communicate through his touches is heartbreaking. But too much has gone on. It’s not possible to communicate that way after so much hurt and confusion.

Then that forehead touch. GOD. I remember watching it and being so bowled over without how much was SAID by both of them. The way that Sander leans into it like he KNOWS he can’t use kisses to sort it all out but just NEEDS comfort and Robbe’s touch… and the way Robbe lets himself have it for a moment but then makes genuine crying noises of frustration to get Sander to stop. The “I want this so much but stop, it’s not fair what you’re doing” is so obvious in his actions. It’s all because it’s how they communicate. BECAUSE touch is their love language, the fact that they can’t give into it is PHYSICALLY painful for them both. They both just stand there with their eyes closed. Sander looks exhausted, devastated but also so deeply comforted by Robbe’s presence and the fact that he can be close to him again in equal measure. Robbe lets out this big sigh and it screams “I know, I feel the same, this feels so right and I miss you so much but I can’t let you forget everything that happened” - YET THEY DON’T STOP TOUCHING. I love that regardless, they stay connected and cannot physically part themselves. It’s written all over Sander’s face how much it means to have Robbe so close and Robbe’s little nose rub is plain adorable. They are literally standing there comforting each other while at the same time trying to communicate through nothing but touch… and the RELIEF in those touches too.

It’s little wonder that what happens next happens in the way it does. Those few words from Sander and the touches between them are enough for them to just KNOW. Their connection is so fundamental that it’s worth fighting through and relying on that gut instinct for them.

Sander is then able to do what he’s good at and be purposeful, firm and to throw himself into it. ALL THE WAY. Once he knows he is ok again, that he has permission and is allowed to let his heart go, he just falls into it and it’s ALL TOUCHING from then on. Every kiss is so meaningful and there are a few specific moments that are really meaningful to me.

The first one is Sander’s smile when he lands on the bed. He is never happier than when he’s able to be free like this. He revels in the ability to throw himself into his feelings. He’s ridiculously enviable tbh. The next moment is the whole clawing, clinging thing he does. Yet again, poor Robbe’s hair gets yanked every which way but I love that we get that glimpse of ‘never letting you go’ mentality he has to keep Robbe as close as physically possible and the way he closes his eyes, smiles and loses himself in those moments. They’re so close to Sander POV it’s crazy. It reminds me of during the cuddle scene when he closed his eyes. Touch grounds him in the most astounding way! I LOVE that the lyrics during this as “take it how you want it, take all my love”. PERFECT, man. That idea of give and take is SO IMPORTANT for them, for Sander especially. The ALL THE WAY mentality he has means that he could only EVER fall in love with someone who is able to counter it, someone who is able to GIVE IN to Sander the way he needs and lose themself too the way he likes. He could only ever fall in love with someone as willing to give and take the way that he is with comfort… and Robbe fits the bill, which is obviously as much of a surprise to him too! I think that’s where their connection comes in. That spark between them and the way they feel for each other is one of contentment so they’re quite happy taking what they need from the other person because the other is SO GIVING. Robbe is so affectionate which is what Sander craves and Sander is so purposeful and bold in his ways which is what Robbe needs. The last moment is the hand holding. Again, Sander is grounded by that physical connection. He clings and holds on and receives so much comfort from it. The knowledge that they’re in something together is clearly huge for them both.

The morning after scene is most meaningful in terms of touch when they get into Robbe’s room. I LOVE how natural it all is. Sander is very happy letting Robbe do what he wants again and it’s almost seamless for Robbe just to sit on his lap. But he’s completely incapable of reigning himself in. The purposeful side of Sander comes out in full distraction mode with Sander genuinely incapable of keeping his hands to himself. The whole playful kind of sexy “I’ll throw you around” thing is not only them at peak comfort with each other but Sander’s way of physically showing he’s not going anywhere, of reminding Robbe that he’s all Sander’s attention is on and all he cares about and that he can DO this now, just toss Robbe onto the bed and crawl all over him - hahahaha. He treats Robbe like he’s precious and completely focused on but also treats Robbe perhaps the way HE wants to be treated… those promises followed by touching with a little possessiveness, that reminder that he won’t be left alone. He gives it all to Robbe and in true Sander style, tries to communicate through touch as much as he possibly can because words mean honesty and they mean a risk of losing it all.

The next notable moment is YET AGAIN, Sander playing with touch when he arrives at the flat. The “nope, Robbe, you’re not getting what you want until we do this fun thing I want to do with you to create a tradition”. He does it twice, playing with denying Robbe touch and physical contact. He has a task to do and he needs Robbe focused on it so he uses touch to keep that focus sharp… and then the fact that the VERY SECOND that task is done, Sander literally walks straight into Robbe’s arms and kinda carries him off towards Robbe’s room makes me laugh. He’s like “ok touching is allowed right this instant” … he knows himself. If he’d have allowed them to touch before he did his task, there’d have been ABSOLUTELY NO SHOE PUT OUT! He’s self aware ;)

Then the hotel… and oh my heart breaks and is soothed in equal measure because this evening was HANDS DOWN one of my most favourite Skam watching experiences. It is gut wrenching in real time and so beautifully acted, I can’t handle it, especially from Willem DS. That kid can act rings around most professional Hollywood actors. They both can. Yet another Skam remake showcasing young talent at its most special and honest. Anyway, I digress!

The shower scene has to be talked about. The show runners etc explained why they included it where the original didn’t (although planned to!) and I get why some found it a little too much but, for them, it worked. I mean, I’m not the person to talk about sex scenes but I definitely CAN talk tons about them when they’re MEANINGFUL and layered and this one is. It’s complete and utter trust. I love so much of the camera work here because you can see they tried to be as respectful as possible while also getting the meaning across and it worked so well… especially as the stuff that clicks for me is Sander’s behaviour. He’s so lost in it. Again, he’s someone who acts on instinct and needs someone who will respond to him with understanding. If someone’s not on the same page then he’s THROWN (and this is why the whole cyber sex things is killing me with its meaning for him!). Again with Robbe’s hair being pulled all over the place but Sander allows himself take and be taken and it’s so important to who he is that it’s ALL THE WAY kind of love and that he’s allowed to be both in control and also completely vulnerable.

The way they segue into the shot of the bed and sander is completely wrapped up in Robbe’s arms kills me. There’s no one right way for them. Touch comes to Sander in his ability to be DEMONSTRABLE and also to RECEIVE. In these moments, he just snuggles into Robbe and takes and takes and takes and takes… but only because Robbe is so perfectly willing to provide. It’s why they work. That balance is what is so key about their relationship. Sander feels ok to suddenly go from firm and handsy to extremely vulnerable and the shot when the camera closes in on his face so serene and at ease, happy to be kissed repeatedly on the forehead by Robbe is just incredibly meaningful and emotional. He is allowed to be himself and to fall into it without worry even when he’s at his most vulnerable. He basks in it and it’s so comforting to watch. I love that he plays with Robbe’s necklace because not only is it him looking at a guardian angel around Robbe’s neck but it’s like a tick to ground him and comfort him right back. A touch to something so fundamentally Robbe.

The segue into the second clip where Sander is even MORE wrapped up in Robbe’s arms breaks my heart. I remember seeing the og Skam cuddle clip all those years back and realising that my god, I’d never seen affection from an LGBT+ couple before in that innocent, gentle, normal way! It’s sad that this was the case but it’s why Skam got under my skin and why the s3 storyline is always so precious to me. This is yet another example but throw in the respect shown to mental illness in a really human and raw way and I’m gone. I love that Sander is able to be so cuddly and open without worry. He’s going through it, struggling and when this clip aired I remember almost every post in the tag was about his eyes, the frantic eyes showing that so much is going on inside his head while he lies there still, soaking up the comfort Robbe is willing to provide. The antithesis is insane but works so well. Robbe has no idea that he’s effectively holding Sander together. He’s clinging on. He’s doing what he always said he would and never letting Robbe go.

The night time switch into Sander’s struggles hurts because he’s still trying so hard not to let go but his brain is struggling, he’s panicking, he’s not in control of himself and he’s scared. You can see it all over his face, in his eyes and body language that he WANTS to stay with Robbe and when Robbe asks him to come back, tries to pull him back to cuddle, Sander goes because he ALWAYS DOES. He tries so so hard till he can’t try anymore and that distance is forced upon him. It was devastating to watch in real time because we all KNEW what was going to happen (we’d seen it all before) but, for some reason, the way Sander was and what we’d learned about him made him being separated from Robbe in this vulnerable state really upsetting. He was so happy in Robbe’s arms, so comforted and then all of sudden it was gone.

The fact that the cycle happens again to lead us into the next time we see Sander physically WITH Robbe is just crazy meaningful because this time, Sander’s truth is not able to be hidden. He can’t use touch to distract and to ignore his thoughts and reality. Everything about the way he acts is out of shame and embarrassment and fear of not being loved for who he is - flaws and all. When I eventually finish my analysis posts, I have SO MUCH to say about this but my goodness, Sander is the only Even aside from Eliott who doesn’t reach out and they both have that same feeling of shame in common. The difference is that Sander actively tries to hide away, to push Robbe away and ACTS on what the other Evens said aka I’ll hurt you, it won’t work, I should leave… he physically does that. The thing that makes me a little misty eyed is the fact that he also provides Robbe with information to help find him. He desperately wants Robbe to be the only one to find him while also simultaneously wanting him as far away from him as possible. He’s done it before with the mural, that “I love you and I need to show you but I can’t be with you”. It’s that desperate pull they have that just ends in mess but at the core has such love and comfort. Sander has run away from everyone, hasn’t reached out to any of them except Robbe and it’s his way of closing that distance even if he’s so sure Robbe is better off without him. Why else would he send Robbe that message, effectively using their history and experience to suggest where he is. Robbe was all he wanted, was all that comforted him (hence the drawings all over the walls) and the fact that when Sander is found, he kept pushing and pushing and pushing and resisting and falling apart through grief and pain and shame and every other negative feeling that overwhelms him… but STILL follows when Robbe asks. He’s trying so hard for the NO WAY of it all but it was never going to work. The fact that when Robbe properly touches him, he falls apart is just about the most obvious thing for me. Robbe is comfort and safety. He may not have all of the answers but just being close is so clearly and viscerally affecting for Sander that he collapses and lets Robbe take the weight of him both literally and metaphorically. That touch is all he needs to fall back into ALL THE WAY and let himself believe.

The fact that the next scene starts with Sander, completely wrapped around Robbe, their skin touching and Robbe stroking Sander’s hand just goes to show how much he allowed himself to use that touch again not only as comfort but as belief that he doesn’t need to mask things anymore. He doesn’t need to pretend and hide his reality, he can be open and vulnerable and also have the ALL THE WAY too. Robbe is that solid warm weight and reassurance. The purposeful Sander is still buried there, it’s just the vulnerability is too overwhelming and so he relies so much on Robbe here to provide what he needs. And god BLESS Robbe’s enormous affectionate heart because he’s perfect with him. Sander clearly meant the words from the day before, signifying he really expected Robbe to change his mind in the morning...those really quiet questions in the dark to Robbe are just heartbreaking because he needs reassurance. Robbe closes the distance to him, gets so close, kisses him multiple times, presses their foreheads together and doesn’t judge… and Sander is completely comforted enough to be able to fall asleep.

THEN… one of my ultimate favourite moments of Sander and touch. It’s like a culmination of EVERYTHING we’ve learned about Sander (and also it’s the same for Robbe but I’ll leave that for my Robbe post!!). He’s still vulnerable but getting back to his usual self a little playing games with Milan and you can see the spark in his eyes, the way he uses his words again to assert how he feels but, above all, it’s that contrast between him asking for a kiss and leaning back into Robbe in this purposeful way that’s perfectly softened by the fact it’s him receiving and seeking comfort too. It’s then that both sides of Sander come together and the fact he’s found what he seeks it in one person is so special. Robbe is EVERYWHERE. He’s all hands in Sander’s hair, legs either side of him, resting his chest against Sander’s back, holding his head gently, kissing everything he can get his lips on (mouth, nose, head, hair) and then settling with his arms around Sander’s neck. It’s EVERYTHING. Sander has shown from the start in most things he does how much touch is important in terms of asserting himself, seeking comfort and showing love and in this tiny little scene it has ALL THREE and is why they are both so dear to me as a pair. It’s INCREDIBLY romantic and very reassuring for anyone who has ever struggled in the way Robbe or Sander has… because it confirms that it is possible for people with specific needs and people who have been shaped by their experiences and come out of it with certain needs and vulnerabilities are able to be loved completely without judgement.

“In good time, you’ll come to know, when you release, when you let go, you can find yourself where you belong”

The best thing though is the way that Sander responds in this moment. He shakes his head and smiles to himself like he’s coming out of a trance. That little ‘yeah’ is adorable. That moment is enough to say all there is about what touch means to Sander as a human being and a partner. For a moment, Robbe helps him forget, sends him a little dizzy with love, gives Sander overwhelming comfort that Sander disappears into it and, as cheesy as it sounds, they fit. It’s exactly what all of the Even and Isak parallels had, that ‘i save you, you save me right back’ love story. They all did it in different ways but with these two, I was stunned with how much they put into the unspoken, especially with Sander. We don’t see him as much, we don’t get inside his head like Robbe’s but we still understand him, possibly more than any other Even parallel by the end of season 3 and this is the season closest to the original for unanswered questions! It’s why I don’t at all mind questions left unanswered and a lack of exposition and clean cut resolution because if the emotion is there and the nuance is there then it does half of it for you.

I love that the final scene of the season, for Sander purposes, is him wrapped in Robbe’s arms! It’s kinda poetic.

I love his character so much. He’s insanely expressive and complex and he’s fascinating to me and to have WTFOCKDOWN is a total gift...because not only does it give us insights we’d never have gotten otherwise, we get this continuation of Robbe and Sander’s relationship and what is it about…. TOUCH. Hahaha. I mean, I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect topic for exploration of who they are together as a starter for ten, not to mention it’s so Sander focused too!

When it comes to Wtfockdown, we get to see Sander operating in enforced distance. We KNOW that when distance has been a thing in the past, he has tried everything he can to make up for it (murals, drawings, reaching out to Robbe cryptically). That compensation for the distance never ever worked. It always made it so that when Sander eventually had Robbe close again, he threw himself back in head first and touch was HUGE when it came to that. Now, Sander has Robbe completely and vice versa and no doubt knows fully what it is like to have that comfort and touch all of the time… but now it has been taken away. For Robbe, he’s an affectionate koala of a human but his relationship with touch has been a journey of discovery and of self but he doesn’t depend on it like Sander does. He communicates with it but, for Sander, it’s a vital part of who he is. I love that the first clip has Sander asking to meet up… hahaha. I remember being so giddy reading that because OF COURSE. He’s trying everything he can again. Then he broke my heart because this time, his form of compensation is to take Robbe with him on his walks. It’s yet ANOTHER form of compensation to try to fill that void where touch once was!

Clip 2 starts their face to face journey and GUYS. I mean, Sander flat out saying that the thing he misses most about Robbe is his touch just about broke my heart and made me giddy once again! They really did that. He’s so happy to see Robbe, to spend time with him but over and over again he’s repeating ways to stop the distance like swapping places with Robbe’s mamma…! Bless his heart. The fact that he says “there’s nothing better than you”, he REALLY does mean it. We’ve seen a whole season of why that’s the truth! We’ve seen him reach that conclusion! Also, that compensation once again on dreams and daydreaming… ANY WAY HE CAN to stop the distance. He breaks my heart.

Clip 3...ONCE AGAIN. “The endlessness of this tunnel symbolises the physical distance between them”. He cannot cope with it. This one made me a bit emotional when I first saw it. They’re not just words for his fairytale; he means them. The distance is DIFFICULT for him. You can see it on his face when he says those words, he frowns. He’s speaking the truth even if he’s making it seem a little light hearted. Then that little private moment where it says he just wants to be with Robbe. It’s genuinely incredibly hard for him to not have Robbe nearby. For someone who thrives and depends so much on touch, the distance is painful and a genuine loss. It’s not just ‘i miss my boyfriend’ because there’s a real nuance there, a real part of who Sander is that prioritises touch and closeness so significantly.

Clip 4. It took me FAR too long to get through this clip the first time around because I SHOULD NOT BE SEEING THIS but hey ho. I watched it again for you, dudes. Sander’s on the quest for compensation for the distance again, this time trying something new and yea, it’s a risk but he means it. It’s something he wants to try because it’s Robbe and it’s fun and he loves him and misses him and feels like it’s another way to feel like the distance isn’t so vast. The moment Robbe tells him he’s not into it, Sander looks a little crushed but immediately understands and lies down. Now, for me, I might be reading so much into it but because we have seen what touch means, as a stand in for it, and Sander now feeling so comfortable with Robbe, that moment of ‘I’ve gone too far’, ‘we’re not on the same page’ is huge for them. Sander can’t find what he’s looking for during the distance and you can see he feels so embarrassed but the moment he laughs at himself, tells Robbe that just lying together is enough and respects Robbe, you can see him trying to get back on that even plane. He loves Robbe so much and would never want to make him feel uncomfortable but for that split second, the comfort they have built wavered and Sander’s ability to be completely vulnerable was questioned… until it wasn’t and all was well for the moment because they talk and love and try. I love that they did that. I love that Sander’s inherent need for closeness was brought to light and Robbe’s need to GIVE affection was shown to be so true… only in person. Robbe thrives off that honest touch whereas Sander is grounded by it, comforted by it and finds it necessary...so without it is left floundering. THE LAYERS, guys. Rolling around in them!!!!

Clip 5 and we see Sander questioning himself. Sander still hasn’t quite felt ok since the other night and he’s letting it affect him. That questioning himself is the same stuff we saw pre-final reunion where he allows his issues to cloud his judgement and he spirals a little when left to his own devices. It’s that insecurity that Robbe managed to settle in him, that push and pull they have but Sander is human and he’s struggling and Robbe’s not there to provide that settlement. He doesn’t RELY on Robbe so much as WANT him because he makes things better. The fact that all the while, Robbe is learning how far his own ability to provide affection and closeness from afar is able to go by seeking advice from Milan makes me want to weep… because the writing is perfect! Of course he is. Everything we know about him tells us he’d do this!

So we’re in present day and I can’t wait to see what they do next. The way they write these two separately and together shows so much understanding of who the characters are, what they mean to each other and this great respect for honouring what they’ve created with so much gentle nuance and emotion. If the past 50000000000 words didn’t suggest it clearly enough - I love what they’re doing so much!

If you’re still awake after all that, you’re super human. Thank you for reading and this post is LONG overdue but it’s here and as rambly as you’d expect. Robbe’s specific post will be along soon! <3

#wtfock

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razberryyum · 5 years

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The Untamed and The Living Dead movie Thoughts

SPOILERS AHEAD!

If you haven’t watched the movie, it’s best not to proceed cuz you will be spoiled.

OR, if you have already watched the movie and love it completely, AND you stan Yu Bin and will not put up with any criticism about his performance, it’s also best not to proceed cuz you’ll most likely be annoyed/upset with me. Let’s just agree to disagree right now and move on with our separate happy lives.

Overall Rating for The Living Dead: 3 Lil Apples out of 10

Yeah, I know that’s pretty harsh…I waffled between 3, 4 and 5, but I had to settle on a 3 in the end because I don’t think I’ll ever rewatch this movie and there were just so many problems I had with it, that I realized I can’t say I liked the movie much at all.

Before I go on, let me first address the big white elephant in the room: no, WangXian does NOT cameo in The Living Dead nor are they even mentioned in any capacity that would assure us they are still together and happy in the movie’s timeline. At one point Wen Ning does mention them in the same sentence, but only in relationship to himself (that they saved him) and the past. For those of us desperate for confirmation of WangXian happily ever afterness in the world of CQL (“us” meaning me only most likely), we get no assurance whatsover. This is especially disappointing since the movie apparently take place years later after the events of The Untamed so it’s really sad that we have no idea if they are together. Of course in the world of the novel, we know they are absolutely together, happily married, everydaying everyday, but it would’ve been nice if we were given some tiny morsel of comfort for WangXian of The Untamed.

Not only does Lan Zhan not make an appearance, he’s only mentioned by Wen Ning once, as I indicated above. As for Wei Ying, he’s mentioned a few times and he kiiiiinda makes a cameo…but honestly, I wish they didn’t even attempt that cameo cuz it was so bad. It’s basically the backview of some extra dressed as Wei Ying and dubbed over by someone else that’s not Lu Zhixing-laoshi. Or if it is, the dub was so bad that it didn’t even sound like him anymore.

That’s actually one of my main problems with the movie: the dubbing or sound mixing just sucked. Every time there was dialogue it sounded very obviously that it was on a different track. I didn’t even feel like the characters were saying the words because their voices sounded detached from them. Whereas in The Untamed, I sometimes would completely forget that with the exception of Nie Huaisang, everyone’s line reads were performed by voice actor because the voices were blended so well within the scenes. I don’t know the technical terms of all this dubbing stuff so hopefully I’m making some sense.

Another big problem was the CGI. Holy crap was it bad. It was so bad at no point was I able to immerse myself into the action scenes…I didn’t feel anyone was in danger because they were being attacked by a bunch of obvious and bad CGI. One of the worse scenes that they showed THREE times was when the sister (Xiao Qing) being burned up in CGI flames. First of all her acting was horrendous (why was she covering her ears while she’s being burned alive??) and then the fake fire just made me groan out loud. I didn’t even want to look it was so embarrassingly bad.

I’m trying to figure out when they shot this movie…in order for them to be able to release the movie so soon after the show, the filming had to overlap with The Untamed’s filming, right? So I guess budget was still tight, probably even tighter than the main show, since CQL probably didn’t start actually seeing the money it made from ads, etc until towards the end. Either way, it feels like they didn’t put much money into this movie, especially not the effects. And if I’m going to be honest, I think they probably just had their second…nay…probably third unit direct it. Or at least, they had their third unit decide on some of the casting cuz some of the performances were…OOF. One thing I really appreciated about The Untamed is that even with most of the background actors, there was hardly a glaringly bad performance. I’ve said before the worse really was the actor who played Wen Ruohan, which is a shame cuz he’s more than an extra, but overall all the performances by the supporting characters ranged from decent to strong with hardly a weak link. Here, in this movie, I would say most of the performances from the new cast members were very mediocre. In fact, the only truly consistently good performances from beginning to end was Zheng Fanxing (Sizhui) and that cute little girl in the beginning:

I was kind of sad when she got killed off cuz she was adorable and definitely a MUCH better actor that the dude who played her older brother…at no point was I remotely convinced he was scared so on the other hand I was happy he died. But I thought she was going to burn to death or something because it didn’t seem like a good idea to have her hide in a wooden cupboard with a lite stove…that was so stupid and weird. Btw, what the hell was with that cat screeching sound effect?? Sounded like someone was throwing a cat, but like WHY?

As for the three new players introduced for this movie—Gao Han as Xiao Yi, Wang Yifei as Xiao Qing and He Longlong as Zhou Zishu—I’ve never seen their work before, and nothing about their performances in this movie makes me interested in what they will do in the future. To be fair, Gao Han tried…you can totally tell he was trying REALLY hard in some of his scenes, but for the most part, he either overacted or strangely enough, underacted. He was just really inconsistent. I know Zhou Zishu was supposed to be a red herring so the fact that he started out looking sketchy AF was supposed to be a ruse since our narrator was entirely untrustworthy, but even in the context of that false narration, he was really bad. As for the sister played by Wang Yifei…just look at her performance as she’s being burned up again.

By the way, I’m gonna say this now: if Wei Ying and Lan Zhan don’t even get to share a fucking real hug between them throughout the entirety of The Untamed, then I don’t think some generally unimportant-in-the-greater-scheme-of-things couple should be allowed to freaking KISS in anything related to the world of CQL.

I understand it’s all about the censorship, etc etc, but if any hetero couple deserved to share an onscreen kiss, it would’ve been Shijie and Jin Zixuan, and since even they were deprived of that, then these two nobodies should not have been granted this privilege. Seriously, fuck whoever decided to stick that moment in the movie. That’s just fucking unfair and really annoyed me. There better not be any more of that kind of nonsense in the Nie brothers‘ movie.

The last I’ll say about performances is that sadly, I felt as if there was something off about Yu Bin’s. I totally understand that this is a different Wen Ning than the one we saw in the show—he’s older, more mature, since God knows how many years have passed already—so I don’t mind that he’s more serious. But at the same time, he was just so uneven that I couldn’t get behind his performance at all. He was always one key off, if that makes any sense, so it almost felt like someone else was playing Wen Ning entirely, someone who is completely unfamiliar with that character. And his work in the…whatever fuck that place was…Yin Metal purgatory?? (and for those who are familiar with Guardian, that place was giving me bad flashbacks to Dixing)…was kind of cringey overall.

I wanted to love seeing Wen Ning be a badass wise uncle, so I actually feel really sad that I couldn’t enjoy his performance in general. However, what I absolutely did enjoy was seeing uncle and nephew bonding and working together…

…just wish those moments weren’t marred by all that bad CGI.

Wen Ning’s new look gave me pause though: not that I didn’t appreciate the whole metal look, but I kind of couldn’t figure out why Wen Ning added the chains back to his ensemble when he got rid of them back in The Untamed already.

I mean, if the black veins on his neck don’t attract attention, walking around wearing heavy, clangy chains sure would probably alarm people as well, I think.

Last thing on Wen Ning: again, not that I didn’t appreciate his newfound ability to hulk out, but yikes, that whole effect was ruined by yet again bad CGI AND a really goofy score. Sounded like something they “borrowed” from Naruto.

Except for that one piece of music, I did like the score for the rest of the movie, especially in the opening credits since it definitely evoked a sense of creepiness. The images in the credits were good too. I can easily imagine that being the OP creds to a horror anthology.

As for the story, I was fine with it. I liked that they related the family to Nightless City because apparently they are the ones who helped make Nightless City nightless? Here I thought it was the surrounding lava but I guess there were lanterns lighting the place up that I just somehow missed completely. I liked the plot twist with Xiao Yi and his “sister”…although I did guess there was some incesty thing going on in the beginning…just didn’t think I would be right and wrong at the same time. I thought they would relate their relationship back to Wen Ning and Wen Qing somehow, considering the sisters shared the same name…this was before the “incest” part was confirmed of course…but they never really did so having Wen Qing share the same name as Xiao Qing felt like an oddity in the end. It’s also odd how they used the same phonetically sounding last name of “Xiao” since of course I immediately thought of Xiao Zhan (different characters). Like, couldn’t they come up with completely different names? Overall, the plot wasn’t bad, as mysteries go, at first I couldn’t figure out why the Yin Metal all of a sudden had all these new powers and why the metal wielder, Zhou Zishu, would become a ghost puppet himself, but with the plot twist, all of that was explained so I was fine with it. The last shot of “Xiao Yi” in the Yin Metal purgatory made me guffaw; yeah, that didn’t look suggestive AT ALL.

The Living Dead actually makes me look forward even more to the next movie, The Fatal Journey. I’m hoping that since it’s potentially about the Nie brother’s past and Jin Guangyao, that perhaps there will be less need for CGI as it will focus more on just dialogue and story-telling. Not to mention, again, apologies to Yu Bin fans, but those three actors are generally stronger performers, so with them at the helm, I’m expecting/hoping for greater things.

Since I’ve been mostly negative, I wanted to leave on at least one positive note: Sizhui is still an adorable puppy. His dads, wherever they are, whatever they’re doing during the movie, must be so proud of him.

#The Untamed #陈情令 #CQL #The Living Dead movie #Wen Ning #Lan Sizhui #Mo Dao Zu Shi #魔道祖师 #WangXian

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angelic-holland · 5 years

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First Insecurity - you

Summary: at one point or another, everyone gets insecure about their relationship for one reason or another.

Warnings: fluffy angst, cyberbullying, insecurities

Word Count: 1.8k

A/N: back to longer ones, adding everyone from my taglist! if you want to be added, check out my bio. italics between (***) is a flashback, italics with (””) are tweets. Check out the rest of the series in my masterlist!

You were grateful, you really were, for the people you knew were only getting tattoos from you because you were Tom Holland’s girlfriend. If that’s what brought people to your chair, so be it, you had your license, your apprenticeship would take as long as you needed to get down the basics of several styles of tattoos before you could become a “professional” and start to really specialize in one area. Bryce said you’d be an apprentice for around a year, just like he was. Which just meant very cheap tattoos, translating into working very long hours tattooing before going to your second job. It was silly, but you wanted to save up enough to visit Tom as a surprise and airfare was so goddamn expensive.

You worked at a grocery store near your apartment on the late shift, you’d tattoo, tattoo, tattoo, and then change into your uniform and ring the occasional customer in at the 24-hour store from 10pm to 3am, then collapse in your bed and sleep before starting it all over again. And airfare was expensive. But he only just left a little over a week ago for London and you missed him. You always missed him.

This client was a girl, 19, very excited about working with you, rambling on and on about how Spiderman is her favorite superhero and could you “please tattoo Spiderman upside down hanging by his web on my arm.”

You sigh, sitting her down and talking to her seriously about the tattoo, would she want it forever, would she get bored with it, will she be okay with sitting for upwards of five hours that it would take to get the detailing just right.

And she’d talk longer than you needed to hear about how important this was to her, how important Spiderman and Marvel and this was to her.

“Okay,” you would sigh because Bryce would tell you if the idea was there, don’t turn down a client, not when you’re an apprentice and you’re living off of charging 25 dollars an hour and tips.

And you knew she was going to ask, about halfway through the outline of the tattoo she does, they always do.

“So you’re dating Tom Holland.”

“Yes, I am,” you say with a forced smile.

“That’s cool. Always thought he was dating Zendaya, she’s really pretty.”

You hum, this was the first you’ve heard of that. But then again maybe your other clients that were fans of Tom were a little older or just had a better grasp of tattoo etiquette, including not asking personal questions.

“Was he dating her before he dated you?”

“So why’d you decided to get the Spiderman tattoo? Is Tom your favorite Spiderman? Or Andrew Garfield, Tobey McGuire?” You ask, changing the subject because one, you had no idea, two, it wasn’t this girls business either.

“I like Tom’s the best. I’m really excited for the new movie.”

“Oh yeah? Me too,” you grin.

The rest of the tattoo went by relatively quicker, she rambled about her ideas for Far From Home and you listened, taking in all her theories because you already knew what happened.

***

You and Tom arrived back at your apartment, he was practically carrying you, your arm around his back, head on his shoulder as your sleepy legs carried you up the stairs and to your front door.

“You know what happens in Endgame right?” He asks as you sleepily take off your clothes to get ready for bed.

“Yes, cause you spoiled it for me, haven’t seen it yet though,” you mumble as you both walk to the bathroom to brush your teeth.

“Oh you’re right,” Tom laughs, “sorry”.

You all but collapse onto the bed, Tom holding you tight against his chest.

“I like you spoiling things, I hate being on edge and I hate surprises.”

“Did you hate me showing up for your graduation?”

“No, that was a really good surprise,” you giggle as his hand brushed your hair off your shoulder, tickling you slightly.

“Want me to spoil the Spiderman movie for you?”

“Yes please,” you say, fingers running up and down his leg, laying on top of your own.

***

That night, after the Spiderman tattoo which you were quite proud of, you opened up twitter, you still had access to Tattoo Dice’s twitter which you never really used.

You don’t know exactly why you did but after scrolling through tweets with Tom’s name you came to a few tweets with him and Zendaya.

Wow.

She was pretty. Not just pretty, absolutely gorgeous.

You just kept scrolling, laughing at some tweets that talked about how they looked at each other during interviews, claiming that was ‘love’. It was funny to you, until you came across something rather nasty with your name.

It was a picture of you and Tom at Coney Island, Harry didn’t take it, someone else must’ve. You were being funny, each holding an arm of your teddy bear, swaying between the two of you.

“It’s like a kid,” Tom had laughed, and you turned pale thinking about a kid, your face slightly mortified before shaking out of it.

But of course, the picture showed your face scrunched up in mild horror.

Next to it was a picture of Tom and Zendaya on set of his movie, they were smiling wide at something they were being shown.

The caption made you grimace, “Tom and y/n versus tom and z, tell me again which one he’s dating”.

And maybe curiosity killed the cat because it also took a stab at you.

You were pretty confident, in your art skills, in your flirting, you’ve never felt insecure in a relationship before. But maybe because you were all of a sudden dating this big star and you now see that half of his fans want him and Zendaya to be together.

Each tweet was another chip away at your hardened exterior and you hated it, your mind telling you to stop scrolling but you just can’t.

“I don’t know who they’re trying to fool but one public outing with a girl he hooked up with back in March? Is that their way of saying him and Z aren’t dating? Clowns”

“Tom and Z have been dating since they wrapped Homecoming, stop freaking out over a post clearly made by his publicist”

“I mean it’s the worst scam, Tom looks like royalty next to a tatted gutter rat.”

Holy fuck people were brutal. Tatted gutter rat.

You felt tears well in your eyes, damn it.

Tatted gutter rat.

You laughed, a choked out sob of sorts, “tatted gutter rat,” you giggled.

Jesus.

You were about to exit Twitter, the toxic hell site it is when Tom’s goofy face popped up on your screen, showing that he wanted to FaceTime you.

You quickly hit the green button, shuffling up so your back was against your pillow.

“Hey,” he smiles before taking in your appearance.

You had a goofy smile but your eyes were red rimmed with tears.

“What’s wrong princess?” He asks, head resting on his hand.

“Do I resemble a tatted gutter rat?” You say, struggling to speak between giggles.

“I’m sorry, a what?”

“I’ve been told, haha,” told was a funny word, you were nosy and this is what it got you, “that I resemble a tatted gutter rat.”

“Well let’s see, I haven’t personally seen a gutter rat but I doubt you look like one. And hey, you’re my tatted gutter rat.”

You saw a twinkle in his eyes when he said you were his, making you bite your lip and smile.

“Wait, who’s saying you’re a tatted gutter rat?”

“Some rando,” you sigh as he runs his hand through his hair.

“On twitter wasn’t it?”

“Maybe,” you scrunch your face up, you’re a terrible liar.

“You shouldn’t look on there, I sure as hell don’t,” he laughs and you feel a wave of calm rush over you.

Thud, thud, thud.

Falling.

“Tom?”

Your mind rushes back to the tattoo shop, his “bye lov-,” that got cut off by your inopportune hang up. Did he- was he saying what you thought he said?

You couldn’t even think it. Because thinking it made it real and, fuck, that scared you.

Thud thud thud.

“What’s up?” He asks, tilting his head.

Fuck it. Internet fools be damned.

“I-, remember when I did my first tattoo? On myself?”

“Yeah?”

“And, I hung up too soon?”

“Oh,” he sighs.

Oh.

Oh?

You had a hard time telling what type of oh it was, his voice sort of muffled through your overseas connection.

“You want to know what I was gonna say?”

“Maybe,” you lied again. You did. You really, really did.

“Harry’s right, I’m an idiot for waiting.”

“What?”

“I should’ve, should’ve said it in New York but I don’t know I wasn’t there for long and-,”

“And what?” You ask, arm wrapping around your knees, pulling tight to your chest.

“I was saying, ‘bye love you’.”

You weren’t one to beat around the bush.

“Just like that?” You feel your lips curl up into a smile.

Thud, thud, thud.

Falling.

“I say it when I’m getting off the phone with family a lot.”

“So it's more just like a phrase you say, not like you meant it or anything.”

Because if he doesn’t say it now, if he avoids it then you can avoid the thundering roar of your heart against your chest, telling you to say it back.

“I usually mean it when I say it to my family, because I do love them, that is.”

His face is scrunched up and he looks a little hurt, bottom lip pouting slightly.

“So you’re off to Bali soon right?”

Nothing like a good old conversation change to stop the sinking feeling in your gut.

“I am,” He says, perking up.

And so you talk and talk until you notice his eyes start to droop and his phone slowly slip out of his hand.

You think he’s asleep, his breathing even as your story trails off.

“Bye love you,” you whisper, voice soft and unsure. Not unsure about loving Tom. That was easy, he understood you, in a way nobody else quite did. He understood your underlying need to be in control quite often, your desire to make people happy through your art, your tendency to not finish movies because you fall asleep, things that individually didn’t really matter, but altogether made you you.

And you felt comfortable, sharing parts of yourself with him you haven’t with anyone else.

So saying “bye, love you” on the phone while he was asleep was effortless.

The part that you were unsure of, the part that scared you the most was the little nagging part in the back of your head that said he didn’t mean it when he said it the first time.

“Night, love you,” he mumbles as your FaceTime call ends.

Oh.

Thud, thud, thud.

You fell.

***

Taglist: @la-bellezaa @tom-hollands-blog @unicornsyy @scarletwidow-shipper @importantfireeaglefish @professional-fandoms

#tom holland one shot #tom holland blurb #tom holland fluff #tom holland x reader #tom holland x fem!reader #tom holland reader insert #tom holland #tom holland fic #tom holland series

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your-nms-preferences · 5 years

Note

(in case tumblr ate it again) wakatoshikun finding cute little notes and tiny snacks and gifts from reader addressed to him on his desk and shoe locker and everywhere he goes and getting really flustered?

Sorry for taking so long to respond, and thank you for sending this in! I’ve been wanting to write for Wakatoshi for a while now, and I finally have a chance to do it!

The letter flew out of this locker as soon as he had wrenched it open. Twirling through the air, gracefully descending to the ground. After a few seconds of it dancing in front of him, it made a soft landing. Just on top of his shoe, sliding off of it and onto the panelled floors below.

Wakatoshi, after a few moment’s hesitation, picked up the piece of paper. Looking upon it curiously, focusing on the heart sticker that was used to seal it shut. Was this supposed to be a love letter? Probably not, he doubted anyone would be able to like the most feared student on Ikemen Academy’s campus. Then, if not that, then what the hell was it supposed to be?

He worked his fingernail under the flap, tearing it open. There sat a sticky note that was much too small to fill up the entirety of the space inside. Now he knew it wasn’t a letter which talked about someone’s undying love for him. Even though he knew it wasn’t going to be one, he still had some lingering disappointment inside.

He gingerly took it out, and began to read it. The handwriting looked rushed, barely even legible, as if the writer had to hurry while making this. But, he still somehow managed to read it, no matter how terrible the font was.

‘Are you sure you aren’t lost? Because this school is far away from heaven ;)’

He wanted to stop reading then and there. But, for the sake of satisfying his curiousity, he continued reading.

‘Sorry for that. Anyways, you haven’t met me, but I just think you’re pretty neat! I don’t get why so many people try to beat you up. I hope the rest of your day goes great, and you get a good night’s rest. Tomorrow, there’ll be a special surprise on your desk from me! Hopefully, none of your classmates steal it before you get to it. So make sure to get there fast!

- From, a special someone’

That was where the letter ended, leaving him to wonder about who this special someone was. Was it one of his classmates, or an underclassman he had never noticed before? But, the words in the letter were just so unbelievably sweet. Unlike the empty threats he received from punks who picked fights with him, reprimands he received for his behaviour, nor the forced kindness when someone, who was so obviously scared of him, talked to him.

He remembered the ‘surprise’ they had mentioned in the letter, and anticipation bubbled up inside of him. He began to look forward to the next day, and he just couldn’t wait for the hours to pass. But, maybe this was a prank, a trick to bring his hopes up. God, he hoped that wasn’t it.

But, when the morning came, and he was the first to enter the classroom. He saw something, sitting in the center of his desk. Just waiting for him to go and pick it up. So, he bolted over to it as if his life depended on it, and swept it into his hand. Where another sticky note was placed on top of the gift.

‘Good morning! Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and I don’t really ever see you grabbing a bite in the morning. I know this isn’t the best thing ever, but it was all I had time for! I’ll grab you something better next time, I promise!

- From, a special someone’

Peeling back the note, he saw that it was just a simple pack of melon bread. And he could feel his heart warm up, and he had the sudden overwhelming urge to protect the sender of the letter with his very life. But, internally, there was a lingering doubt that there would ever be a next time. This was just a one time thing, where someone had pitied him so much that they had to give him something nice before they took it away from him.

Then it happened again. And again. And again. And again. And again.

After a while of being showered in gifts, snacks, and sticky notes filled with the sweetest words he had ever read, he realized that this wouldn’t stop. How could someone be this kind? To go out of their way to buy some food at the convenience store for him, taking time out of their day to write such delightful letters, even buying full on gifts for him. Bandages decorated with cartoon characters- they even managed to get ahold of the limited edition Pyo-kun ones- and even mini stuffed animals.

All of this, and he didn’t even know their name. He’d probably never seen their face, unless they were someone he knew, and they were just that damn good at hiding their identity. Maybe it was someone who never stood out to him in the crowds at school. He was just dying to know who it was, so he could thank them repeatedly for all they did for him.

That’s why he took things into his own hands, and trespassed into his classroom to pull an all-nighter. Which, believe it or not, wasn’t the worst thing he had done within the three years he had attended the academy. Hopefully, they wouldn’t be scared off when they entered the classroom and saw him looking like a hot mess from a horror movie.

The hours of the night drifted by, with him struggling to stay awake with every passing second. It was like there was lead inside his skull and it was pulling him down, tempting him to just flop on the floor, and fall asleep. But, if he did that, then the point of coming here in the first place would be defeated.

Just when he was on the verge of slipping into unconciousness, yawn after yawn escaping his mouth, he heard the door to the class slide open. He turned his head to the side, scrambling up from the floor, and trying to face the intruder properly. With a sheet of drowsiness slipping over his mind, he was barely able to hold himself up. But he managed, his eyes focusing on the person frozen in front of him.

And he saw you, gazing at him in shock with your mouth agape. In your hands was a full bento box, the meal you had planned for him on that day. While you stared at him with an expression of utmost shock.

Sleepily, he began to speak. “So, uhm.. You’re the one that’s behind all this.” His words were quiet, just barely above a whisper, and they were slowed. What else would you expect from someone who was running on just a few hours of sleep? After a moment’s silence on your end, he hoped that he wasn’t scaring you. Was he glaring at you, something about the way he looked? He really didn’t want to make the person who had been spoiling him run away.

You shifted your position, straightening yourself out. “Yep, that’s me!” You affirmed with a bright smile and a nod. “Sorry for hiding from you for so long, I kind of chickened out. I wanted to meet you, I really did! But I just couldn’t find enough courage to..”

You trailed off, looking to the side to avoid his gaze. He would have considered himself blessed if he got to meet you sooner, but thank heavens he got to do it now. Boy, you were even cuter than how you made yourself seem in the notes.

“A-Anyways! You’re here now, and I’m here too! So I guess I should give you the proper greeting you’ve been waiting for all this time.” You laughed awkwardly, scratching your cheek. Before holding out you hand for him to shake. “Hi! My name is {Y/N} {L/N}! The stranger, well not so much of a stranger anymore, who was sending you all these things all this time! Nice to finally meet you, Wakatoshi-senpai!”

A blush ran across his face, and he prayed that you wouldn’t be able to see it in the dark. He took your hand, a shaky smile creeping up onto his face. He held onto it a bit longer than expected, but let go once he saw how long he had been holding your hand for. He cleared his throat, scratching the back of his head. How did you talk to the person who had been pampering you with presents for months now? It was a hard question to answer.

“Ah- Um!” He spluttered out, trying to start some kind of conversation. “W-Well, ya give me no choice. How can I repay you? Can I buy you something, t-take you out somewhere? Or should I pull the same shtick as you and give you notes n’gifts in return? I r-really don’t know what to say, nobody’s really done this kind of thing for me before so..”

You hummed in reply, shaking your head at his suggestions. “Silly, you don’t have to give me anything in return! I just felt like it! And, you deserve a break from all the fights you get into. Unlike the punches people throw at you, it doesn’t hurt to receive something nice, and it doesn’t hurt me to give them to you!”

He choked on nothing, just too flustered by your words. He swore that this was all a dream, he probably just fell asleep, and you were just someone his mind thought up of. Just to make sure, he pinched his wrist. Biting his lip when he actually felt pain from it. That confirmed this was reality. It just felt like a dream.

“N-No, there’s gotta be somethin’ I can do for ya! I can’t just walk away from this and ignore all you’ve done!” He protested.

You blinked at his offer, tapping your index finger to your chin. “Why don’t we share this bento box I made! I mean, there’s only one pair of chopsticks, but..” You twirled the wooden utensils in your hand.

“That’s it? I don’t mind doin’t that.” He said, sitting down in one of the desks backwards, his chest leaning against the back of the chair. “Come on, let’s eat before class starts. Sensei will lose his mind if he sees us.”

With that, you practically skipped over to the desk, sitting directly across from him. Opening the box and feeding him the first bite, beaming all the while Wakatoshi tried to avert his gaze. Attempting to hide his obvious blush from you.

Kyouya sensei wasn’t all too mad when he caught you two in his classroom, fast asleep, and together in your own little world.

#notice me senpai game #skillshot labs #NMS #notice me senpai imagines #notice me senpai #notice me senpai x reader #delinquent senpai #delinquent senpai x reader #wakatoshi senpai #wakatoshi senpai x reader #nms x reader #psa i still dont know how tags work lmao #help im writing this at 2 am and i am barely functioning

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01010010-posts · 6 years

Text

— my white sighs quietly melted with the stars above.

it all started with a simple ‘you’re a slowpoke??’ text and it should have ended there, really, but you got a reply immediately after. ‘I’m sorry, I think you have the wrong person’. absolutely no, you scoffed, as if you were going to be tricked again ‘bitch don’t play the wrong number card because you didn’t catch the bus’. he was amused by your obstinacy and lightly worried about the supposed receiver, who, it appeared, was very clumsy; ‘please, control the number you texted, I’m Connor.’ boy he sure was. not your pal, not someone else in your contact list, just.... Connor. ‘god, i apologize!! thank you for telling me! ps. didn’t mean to call you a bitch, connor’ and it should have ended there, really, but you got a reply. connor: shouldn’t you be in bed by now? you: but,,,, i wanted to chat with u a little more connor: as an android sleep is not required but you, as a human, need to rest. we can always continue talking tomorrow. you: :( what if you have a long case tomorrow?? mh?? what if?? what you’re gonna say in your defense then?? connor: don’t worry :) I’ll find time for you. you: ok you win goodnight ☆ connor: sweet dreams. goodnight, [name]. it’s been three months since you’ve first spoken with him. intimacy there but low, how obvious it is that the two of you are proceeding with caution. yet you can’t help but write to him every day, staying up late while waiting for an answer of his, often checking your mobile and getting unsettled when there’s no signal. it’s strange, your colleagues whisper, how can you be so attached to someone if you’ve never even seen him? of course, you know it. you don’t wish for a pretty face, you only wish for a pretty personality. with a heavy sigh and a loud poof you pull the white duvet up to your head, finding comfort by completely hiding inside the warm embrace. you tightly hug a pillow, pretending that it’s him, returning your affection and cuddling, maybe caressing you too inasmuch, as he said, ‘androids don’t need to sleep’. but is it bad to fantasise? you: I’m deeply sorry.... sweetheart: >:( you: [name], it’s the seventh text-made emoji you’ve sent me.... they expressed some sort of anger so I’d prefer if we discussed about whatever is bothering you. sweetheart: >:(( you: I’m begging you.... sweetheart: you’re grounded and your punishment is enduring the wrath of weird angery text-based emoji :< you: what did I do to deserve this? :’( sweetheart: i sent you a heart & you didn’t send it back to me you: gosh! how clumsy of me! could you ever forgive this fool? sweetheart: mhhh it depends. what are you willing to do to be pardoned? you: I’ll send you whatever heart I possess! 💕💖💗💖 sweetheart: THIS IS UNFAIR!!! he’s silently giggling all by himself, in the cold room lit by his blue led circling at a steady rhythm– no, it’s not the temperature, rather it’s the atmosphere; ‘cold’. he’s still grappling with emotions and developing tastes is– well, to put it simply, complicated. he’s heartened with the fact that you once said, at the sight of a photo of his bed and the corner within, that being minimalistic is a style too. though, possibly, his true self is one of a clutterer of knick-knacks. of course, he’d like you to help him pick what ornaments would suit him the best. you: wtf i dont believe it connor♡ : but it does! you: prove it MIKU HATSUNE connor♡ : listen here human it’s not my fault you haven’t got the chance to witness an android external fluid deactivating you: !!!!! are you bragging?? connor♡ : ahahaha I’m joking it’s sending a video right now you watch ecstatically as soon as the app downloads the file, your chest throbbing with pleasurable anxiety. how can it be? he’s kind, precious AND fucking handsome, skin or no skin. you bet bad things will happen to you today to balance this sheer luck. think it thoroughly, it’s actually the first time you see his face. you: u’r cute also how does your hair work man connor♡ : thank you :) it’s connected to my head so.... you: i get it cybernetic magic your secrets are safe with me connor♡ : ahahaha and I was concerning myself about disgusting you you: WHAT fuck no you’re done that way, ok, it’s cool ok? kept it in mind are you allowed to insert ♡ near his name and not tell him? you: I’m waiting!! :/ sweetheart: so needy you: come on, [name]! sweetheart: tru tho you: >audio file cooome ooooonn sweetheart: !!! im ready pick up idiot the monitor lits and here you are, gorgeous. he’s certain that his heart melted on the spot. such is the sensation you give him every time you send him a photo, his thirium pump skipping a beat and making him inevitably somewhat gasping for air, mouth barely closed. he’s not accustomed to all the new features deviancy brought but in this he’s confident, he’s head over heels in love with you. you: what?? you’ve already seen the movie?? love♡ : yeah! I went with Hank! it was very nice, you should see it too you: WELL id kill to (please don’t arrest me detective) but nobody wants,,,, love♡ : why is that? (I won’t arrest you if you behave) you: something along the lines of not their genre or some shit uff (seems sketchy) love♡ : what about going alone? (it isn’t!!) you: it would be too sad :’( love♡ : I’m sorry to hear that, if I could be there I’d accompany you and wouldn’t mind seeing it a second time. you: yes i know.... what is it? six months? more? you hardly remember, having so many messages in here, it would be too difficult to keep track, though you’re positive, that if you asked him he’d tell you in an instant, since he’s so attentive with that little brain-computer of his. you close your lids, tapping your fingers on the desk, it’s wearing, you must admit. you like him, a lot at this point, but being so far and out of reach.... what can come out of this? friends don’t support you either, ignoring this blatant crush, trying to make you hook-up with people met at a bar, getting annoyed at you constantly texting, preaching that a long distance relationship is not worth your time and your effort, and it’s not even a relationship, isn’t it? you’re not on that level. you’re just weirdos keeping themselves company. bummed out a bit, you decide that maybe avoiding him for a couple of days might be a proper solution. will he feel your absence? will he miss you? you: is everything all right? sweetheart: yes. you: are you sure? sweetheart: yep im,,,, swamped with work, the drill you: that I understand but perhaps I did something wrong? sweetheart: ?? you: you’ve been acting kinda cold lately, and if I’m the cause of that I’m sorry. being a deviant is good sometimes, and sometimes is not. it was great until a while ago so why now.... now....? he feels so lost. it’s understandable to have a job and a life outside this bond but– but is it really? is it okay for you to be without him? you’d manage fine. mhh no– the real question is: is it okay for him to be without you? can he be without sending you a text at least once a day? can he be without hearing your voice at least once a week? can he be without your usual video calls at least twice a month? can he be without seeing you, over a screen, cooking your dinner and singing? can he be? can he exist without you? he’s.... starting to doubt that. sweetheart: no i’m i’m the one whos sorry, okay? we can call tomorrow you: I don’t want to press you into anything you don’t want to sweetheart: you’re not! i’ll make up for not having been so present! you sigh, suffocating yourself on the pillow, how can you be this dense? this stupid? this utter moronic?? unequivocally he was going to worry. you made him worry. fuck. you’re going to trust your guts, no dumb jokes, it’s obvious that you both care about the other and can’t stay apart for too long. you: i know it’s 3AM and you told me to not be awake but i cant i cant okay? im thinking of you and me and you and it began because im a mess so it shouldnt be a surprise i havent gotten better this past year has been.... the best. yeah i fucked up and tried to be distant, to see if sth would change but it didnt i love waking up and finding a text from you, i love the sound of your voice trying to lull me goodnight when im being a spoiled child, i love how you’re so gentle & how you always forgive me and mostly i love you not as a friend, definitely as more, definitely like a lover and i know that you’re so caring that you’ll probably still want to talk with me even if the affection’s not mutual you lock your phone’s screen and place it on the nightstand. the orange light from the streets seeping through the curtains and soaking your covers, and now that your eyes are free to roam, it’s easier to notice the soft feathers’ filling making tiny shadows on your face. poor poor geese. your fingertips slightly touch the stitches, your heartbeat pacing furiously from the strong emotions, both trepidation and fear running your veins. what if he doesn’t feel the same? what if he’s been polite this whole time and you overstepped his boundaries? what if? love♡ is typing.... ping! love♡ : I love you too, honey. but please, don’t scare me again, I think I lost four biocomponents when you suddenly stopped replying to me. also you should sleep. you: im pouring my heart out ugly crying and!!!! you’re too casual nooo it’s no big deal baby we just fucking love each other it’s totally ok incoming call from love ♡ “hey....” his tone slow and almost drowsy “i thought it was clear enough.” words rolling off his tongue, the same that he’d tenderly run across you, kissing, tasting, worshipping your body “i hate you.” you sniffle and there’s a chuckle on the different end “i love you.” you smile, wiping off the tears wetting your cheeks with the back of your right hand “i love you too.”

#3 ldr and 7 yrs in total have prepared me for this fic #i love how everyone in the fandom thinks of miku as connor & viceversa #DBH #connor x reader #RK800 x reader #dbh RK800 #RK800 #connor #dbh connor #detroit become human #dbh imagine #writing #fic #fanfic #fanfiction #longdistancerelationship #ldr #android #self-insert

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johnnymundano · 6 years

Text

Slasher Season 1: The Executioner (2016)

Directed by Craig David Wallace

Written by Aaron Martin

Music by Shawn Pierce

Country: Canada

Language: English

8 Episodes of around 46 – 53 minutes each

CAST

Katie McGrath as Sarah Bennett

Brandon Jay McLaren as Dylan Bennett

Steve Byers as Cam Henry

Patrick Garrow as Tom Winston

Dean McDermott as Iain Vaughn

Christopher Jacot as Robin Turner

Wendy Crewson as Brenda Merrit

Jessica Sipos as June Henry

Mary Walsh as Verna McBride

Enuka Okuma as Lisa Ann Follows

Erin Karpluk as Heather Peterson

Mayko Nguyen as Alison Sutherland

Rob Stewart as Alan Henry

Jefferson Brown as Trent McBride

Mark Ghanimé as Justin Faysal

Dylan Taylor as Bryan Ingram

Alysa King as Rachel Ingram

Victoria Snow as Sonja Edwards

Hannah Endicott-Douglas as Ariel Peterson

Shawn Ahmed as Sharma

Booth Savage as Ronald Edwards

Susannah Hoffman as Marjorie Travers

(Guilty Party: I took the images from IMDB because I can’t screengrab over 8 hours and besides, my dog told me to.)

Slasher: The Executioner is a Canadian TV series about, um, slashers and all that slasher stuff. Bogling about The Internet I discovered that the creator, one Aaron Martin by name, has wisely opted for an anthology format, whereby each season (two at present) is a complete storyline. Apparently there is connective tissue between each season to engender a feel of them taking place in the same Slasher Universe; which is like the Marvel®©™ Universe but with less quips and more mom porn and severed hands. I say “apparently” because I haven’t seen the second season (Slasher: Guilty Party (2017)) I have seen the first season though and that definitely has more mom porn and severed hands than the Marvel®©™ Cinematic Universe.

Now, if you’re reading this thing which is about a TV show called Slasher, then you might think you like slasher movies, but do you like slasher movies enough to watch what is effectively a 7 hour and change slasher movie? Do you? Huh? Huh? That’s a normal working day right there. You are right to be hesitant, as that doesn’t sound like it would work, at least not as entertainment, maybe as a kind of torture. The usual slasher movie is a timidly formulaic creature, so we can characterise the average slasher movie as starting with a brief kill, then some flopping bonelessly about with a solid hour of “meet the characters”, then 40 minutes or so of mayhem, climaxing with a one on one slobberknocker. Stick to that formula for 8 episodes and you’d end up (NB: the maths is a bit loose here) with an exciting first episode, 5.5 episodes of dishwater dull soap-operatics and then an insanely violent final 1.5 episodes. That would of course be stupid, which is one of roughly a billion reasons why they didn’t ask me to make it. No, they asked Aaron Martin and the Slasher gods should be thankful that Aaron Martin knew what to do.

A nagging sense of fairness demands I should pause to note that hundreds of people were involved in the making of Slasher: The Executioner, but it’s accepted shorthand to say “Aaron Martin…” So, “Aaron Martin” made a long-ass slasher movie, but realising this was a marathon and not a sprint, structured each episode so that it worked within the larger narrative framework. It’s an approach familiar to anyone who read mainstream comics back when they had actual stories (rather than today’s unending conversations punctuated by punching; Calm down, Cochise, I’m not saying they were better back then (most of anything is shit after all), I’m just saying they were different). In effect then, for all the none old timey comics fans: in Slasher: The Executioner the uberplot chugs along while various subplots intertwine beneath it breeding red herrings, developing character and basically raising the stakes until uber and under finally intertwine in a climactic crescendo. Oh, and there is at least one kill every episode to keep your unhealthy interest piqued. Got to have those sweet, sweet kills. It is called Slasher after all, not Magic Picnic Time With The Dancing Rainbow Babies. Those dismissive of the slasher movie (Hi, mom!) often underestimate the variety of slasher movies; they aren’t all set in a holiday camp for randy morons on Prom Night one Halloween which is coincidentally, and impossibly, also Friday the 13th. No, there is also Cherry Falls (2000) and, oh, My Bloody Valentine (2009) and, er, anyway, probably some others. This type being The Small Town Terrorised by Its Past slasher, as it is more commonly known. This is the template which Slasher: The Executioner favours most. (The Internet Elves tell me Slasher: Guilty Party riffs on The Holiday Death Camp template).

Events kick off with the present day return of pleasant, newlywed young artist Sarah Bennett (née Ingram) to Waterbury, where she was born on Halloween night in 1988, when a masked killer cut her from the womb of her mother, Rachel. Rachel’s husband, Bryan, had died about ten seconds earlier from a frenzied knife-torso interaction, leaving nobody to hand out candy to the trick or treaters except the killer, The Executioner, who docilely awaited the police cradling the bloody new-born in his arms. It’s fair to say Sarah has issues with Waterbury, and as her arrival coincides with the start of a spate of copycat Executioner killings, Waterbury has issues with Sarah. And it’s this business that occupies your eyes and ears for the bulk of the 8 episodes. I mean, that was some spoilertastic stuff back there, yeah? But get this…that was only the opening 10 minutes; there’s plenty of unspoiled stuff and, hey, maybe those first 10 minutes I just got spoil all over aren’t all as they initially appear? That is a distinct possibility. Yes it is.

What then unfolds over the televisually paced course of Slasher: The Executioner’s 8 episodes is slashtastically fun stuff. Pretty much everything you expect in a slasher movie happens, because that predictability is part of the fun of a slasher movie. Crucially, however, some stuff you don’t expect to happen in a slasher movie also happens, which is part of the fun of a good slasher movie. A good slasher movie has to both cater to and exceed expectations, and Slasher: the Executioner is a pretty good slasher movie despite its arse-numbing running time. But then only a glutton would gulp it down one go; Slasher: The Executioner is most rewarding when taken episodically; which is kind of why they made it like that, I guess. With a gap between each episode you can ruminate and ratiocinate in an attempt to understand the motivations, unearth the clues and unmask the killer. Although, good luck with that; the identity of the killer may be easy to guess (it’s [Redacted]!) but it’s a lot less easy to back it up with clues and evidence. It’s more a case of “It’s [Redacted]” because it has to be, rather than you have been perceptive enough to amass an evidence trail suitable for a Court of Law. But then slasher maniacs rarely see the inside of a Court of Law, so going with your gut is okay in this context.

The cast though? I mean, you’re going to be spending a lot of time with these people and given the nature of the beast some of them are going to have to surprise you with who they really turn out to be. Happily, everyone in Slasher: The Executioner is far better at this acting lark than the usual cast of a slasher movie. It probably helps that unlike most slasher movies the cast is portraying adults rather than the more usual teenagers. Feeelingzzzz aside, adult life is a lot more complex than teenage life, so there’s a lot more scope for surprise behaviour wise. And adults by definition have lived longer than teenagers so they have an actual past which could, maybe, be full of misdeeds and tragedy. That kind of thing would be pretty helpful were you trying to fill about 8 hours of screentime, yeah? Yeah, it totally would. As Sarah, Katie McGrath is maybe a bit of a milksop but this, to be fair, pays off later with a major change in attitude, and also in her defence she is mostly on the backfoot as surprises and violence tend to single her out. And she certainly rallies herself with an impressively sad ferocity come the bloody climax. Brandon Jay McLaren as her life partner convinces as a man too nice to be true, but who just might come through. The killer is great and clearly having a fun time, but their performance becomes a real humdinger once the reveal hits and the pretence can be dropped (in front of the viewer at least). Lots of actors, lots of performances and all of them are lots of fun. Some are more fun than others, but saying more would splash spoil all over the place. In a town this big there might be more than one mystery, is all i’m saying.

Slasher: The Executioner is overwrought, it’s daft, it’s violent, it’s rarely dull and it successfully stretches your suspension of disbelief like so much Silly Putty. Pretty much a dreamy slasher experience all in all. Of course many a long form TV show comes a cropper when it has to deliver a definite ending. But rest easy, the end of Slasher: The Executioner doesn’t reveal everyone is dead, and, no, it wasn’t all a dream. The stakes are high ending wise; after nearly 8 hours Slasher needed to deliver a faceslap of an ending, and while the mechanics of what happen are hardly brain meltingly original, the psychological darkness of it was a bleak delight. In short the ending to Slasher: The Executioner is a TV win: it doesn’t make you wish you hadn’t bothered. As long as you came expecting a slasher, that is. The clue’s in the title after all.

#slasher #slasher: the executioner #tv #canada #horror #2016 #aaron martin #katie mcgrath #brandon jay mcclaren #2010s

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hopeful-starship · 6 years

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Welcome to the 1st installment of “Chloé finds cool ask lists and answers them despite nobody asking”! This one is courtesy of @bgbygirl, go check them out!

🐰- do you believe in soul mates? Heck yeah i do. I haven’t found mine yet, but he’ll come around. I believe it.

💌- diary or journal? I’d rather journal! I sometimes just write out my feelings on loose paper when i feel bad, but i’ve rarely kept a diary for more than two weeks.

✨- which fictional character (book, show, or movie) do you relate to most? Holy WOW this is difficult. I’m a mix of chunks from a lot of characters, but i feel like i’m the closest to Cath from Fangirl (a wonderful book by Rainbow Rowell, which i highly recommend you check out).

💕- are you crushing on someone? I was literally three days ago (you’ll know if you follow my crush chronicles tag - which you probably don’t because it’s not that interesting), but i’m thankfully getting over it. I love boys and i love crushing, but he wasn’t good for me - at least not in a romantic setting.

💋- kissing in the dark or kissing in the rain? I’d say rain. If i’m kissing a boy, i probably find him handsome, and i want to be able to see him.

🐝- describe your aesthetic in emojis I’m on my laptop so i can’t use emojis, but i’d say my aesthetic as a mix of “80s rock dad”, “horny on main” and “pastel cinnamon roll”. It’s a weird mix.

🍼- what is your favorite memory? The 2nd time i met Captain America in Disneyland Paris this summer. I went to shake his hand (because the 1st one did that) and he said “no, i’ll hug you if that’s okay”, and that was THE CUTEST SHIT. I blog a lot about Bohemian Rhapsody at the moment, but i love the Avengers A LOT, and Steve is my favorite, so that was very special.

🌸- what is your favorite flower? Not orchids, surprisingly! I like them, but i like how the word sounds more than i like the flower itself. Is lavender a flower? I’m going to say it is. Lavender is my favorite flower.

💖- have you ever been in love? I’ve said i was in love a couple times in the past, but looking back, i don’t think i was. I was very fond of them, but i don’t think i was -in love-.

🍰- strawberry or vanilla? Strawberry! (Side not: i’m realising i changed a lot over the past few months, because the answer’s been vanilla my whole life)

🍯- describe your favorite smell I have two, and they’re extremely unrelated lol. The first one is speculoos cookies being baked, and the second one is that generic boy perfume smell (my friends say that doesn’t exist and i’m crazy, but i know what i’m talking about and i hope you do too)

🎂- if you had 3 wishes, what would they be? I generally have trouble with this question. The first thing that came to my mind was: i wish i could be sure everyone i love knows i love them, and i wish i wouldn’t constantly doubt they love me back.

🍪- cookie dough or cookies? Cookie dough. Cookie dough always. Any day of the week. I love cookies, but cookie dough is my favorite thing.

☕- coffee or tea? Neither! I don’t like hot drinks!

🍃- would you rather live in a sea with mermaids or a forest with fairies? I’m fascinated by the ocean, so give me those mermaids any day!

🍂- what’s your middle name? My middle name is Jeanne! It was apparently two of my great-grandmothers’ name.

💫- what is your sun, moon, and rising sign? I had no idea what this meant, so i googled it and apparently my sun sign is Pisces, my moon sign is Taurus and my rising sign is Leo! Which apparently means i’m affectionate and emotional (very true), like to be praised and appreciated (also true), and am even-tempered and calm (not so true).

🌧️- favorite thing to do on rainy days? I love sitting/lying next to a window and listening to the rain fall while reading or writing!

🍭- how tall are you? I’m 6′2! (188 centimetres) (basically a fuckin giant)

💒- which show would you want to live in? I know the question probably means TV show, but i’m twisting it around and understanding musical, because damn i love theatre. My answer is Mamma Mia. OF COURSE IT IS. I want to spend my days dancing around a greek island and singing Abba songs at handsome dudes. (this might be a later question, but spoiler: Mamma Mia is my favorite movie)

🎄- what is your favorite holiday? Christmas! I fuckin love Christmas! I’m currently sitting in my Christmas pyjamas (yes, on November 17th, leave me alone)

🍦- what scented candle is your favorite? I’ve never had any candles (my mum thinks they’re too dangerous), but i generally like those that smell like cinnamon and apples.

��- favorite song right now? You may have noticed i have a bit of an obsession with Bohemian Rhapsody. My current favorite song is It’s Late by Queen, which i discovered when i was extensively researching their discography after seeing the movie. Oh my wooorld, that guitar riff gets me railing.

💘- 3 ways to win your heart? 1) Sing/play any instrument ever 2) Be kind 3) Have a lot of hair The truth is, if you’re a guy and you’re (even remotely) kind and attractive, i’ll fall in love with you, even if it’s for 20 minutes.

🍩- current mood? A bit weird, if i’m honest. I’m generally good, but it feels like the sword of Damocles is hanging over my head and a depressive episode is threatening to drop on me.

❄️- what is your favorite season? This is a difficult question for me, there are things i love and things i dislike about every season! But i’ll say spring, because i can go out without a jacket, but it’s not too warm yet.

💍- your current relationship status? Married to Gwilym Lee (jk lol, i’m single as all hell - someone date me please, i’m so alone)

📷- a photo of yourself

Here, have this picture of me being a Captain America fangirl in Disneyland Paris (i’m going back in three days and the excitement is UNREAL)

💅🏻- do you like being spoiled? OH NO. I’m not one of those who can’t accept a gift, but i can’t help but wonder what i did to deserve it and stress about it.

🕊️- 3 habits you have? 1) Arriving at college at least 30 minutes before my class starts and sitting on the floor outside of the classroom, reading or watching videos 2) Dancing a bit too enthusiastically at bus stops 3) Skipping class when i feel overwhelmed and hiding in the library/in a café with something to eat and something to drink, and watching a heckton of videos in hopes of making myself feel better

🦄- how do you perceive yourself? Well it depends on how i feel when you ask the question - but generally, i think i’m a rather good person, or at least i try my best to be. I’m as kind as possible. It’s going sound conceited, but i’m a bit too smart for my own good - which means i overthink everything and end up in a state of existential crisis 9 times out of 10. Physically, i’m mostly ok with how i look - although it sure would be nice if i could find ONE guy who thinks i’m alright too.

🦋- how do you think others perceive you? I’m not answering this question, because i don’t want to end up in aforementioned state of existential crisis. Feel free to tell me how you perceive me though, i’m interested!

🌈- things I find attractive in girls/guys I’ll answer for guys, since they’re what i’m attracted to! Smile is something super important for me. I love hair, especially when they’ve got a lot of it (hello Brian May). And i seem to have a thing for cowboys and guitarists. (...again, hello Brian May)

🍓- one secret about yourself The main reason i obsess over “celebrities” (and even daydream about being with them) is because it’s easier than falling for guys i know irl and getting rejected.

🍒- how do you act when you have a crush? Like a FUCKIN IDIOT. During the first week i had a “thing” for my former crush, i couldn’t speak to him without stumbling on my words, and i almost fell on him on the tram. I can’t function properly when i like someone.

💔- the reason behind your last breakup? I’ve never been with anyone, so i’ve never had a breakup; so i’ll tell the reason behind my last rejection. Thankfully it didn’t hurt too much, he was in love with one of my friends and she loved him back, and i just knew they’d be good for each other. So just before they got together, we talked it out, just to clear the air, and so he knew that i wasn’t fully in love, i just liked him because he was cute and kind, that of course i wouldn’t do anything to interfere with their relationship, and that i really wanted us to stay friends. He was an absolute peach and he’s one of my best friends today!

💬- what your last text message says? It’s two heart emojis! (to a friend, don’t imagine any boys are talking to me)

🎥- what show are you currently binging on? I’m not watching any show at the moment, i’m trying to catch up on my Watch later Youtube playlist! But i did have half a Harry Potter marathon with a friend this weekend.

⛅- what is your morning routine? Brush my hair, tie it up in a ponytail (or a bun if it’s really greasy woops), wash my face, shower, dress, pack my bag, have breakfast, fiddle on my phone if i have extra time, go!

💗- who do you miss? I miss my friend Antoine. I know we’ve seen the best of each other, but sometimes i just miss the guy he was when i was 15.

🥀- last time you cried? Wednesday afternoon! While, you guessed it, watching Bohemian Rhapsody. It’s been 4 times, but i still cry a lot.

🎁- when is your birthday? March 3rd!

🔪- scariest/creepiest experience? I try to steer clear of anything even remotely scary or creepy, i hate that kind of stuff.

💤- date someone younger, older, or same age as you? I really don’t care as long as the connection’s there, but life has shown that i get along better with people that are a bit older than me!

🎀- any question you want I’m going to make this question into “where do you hope to be in three years?” because i think it’s interesting. If my plans don’t change, i’ll be in Brighton, taking another degree which i’ll hopefully enjoy this time. Which means i’ll have my own flat again - i hope it’s somewhat near the sea, so i can go quite often. I also hope i made friends that are on the same wavelength as i am, and who knows, maybe even found a good guy?

If you read this whole ordeal, thank you so much lol! That was really fun! I hope you have a nice day!

#personal #rambling #Chloé's ask lists

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artinmovingframes · 6 years

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The Bitter Irony of Commander Lawrence’s artworks in The Handmaid’s Tale

[CW: physical and psychological violence against women, violence against minors, murder, racism]

These are my thoughts regarding the relation between the art displayed in the set and the tv show The Handmaid’s Tale. Over-interpretation is part of the reflexion, but please let me know if anything I said may have hurt you or seemed to be completely misconstrued.

In the 12th episode of the second season of The Handmaid's Tale, we were introduced to a new character, Commander Lawrence, who "welcomes" Emily (Alexis Bledel) into his house. The whole setup is somewhat disorienting and the artworks displayed are an important part of it, so I would like to give you my train of thoughts when we were introduced to the house and its inhabitants.

Aunt Lydia (Ann Dowd) accompanies Emily and comments on how no-one wanted her, following her history of revolt. Of course we are intrigued as to whom would open their house to her, in the context of Gilead. And when the door opened for the first time on a one-eyed Martha, Cora, I had two very opposite insticts, which were then kept up during the episode:

first I thought the Commander would be a cruel cruel man, taking the women nobody wanted anymore to do whatever he wanted to them, a sadist even worse than the "norm" in Gilead.

then I hoped it'd be a kind and considerate man, trying his best to help the scorned, tortured women, (since Emily has also suffered inhumane mutilation).

We then enter the house, a cluttered house full of trinkets, books, paintings unlike the ones we've been accustomed to before (naked bodies, abstract and expressionist art etc.). Quick side-note: most of the art on display in Commanders' houses so far were Impressionnist works, Monet in Waterford's office, Pissarro in Emily's previous commander's bedroom.

Aunt Lydia is surprised, as we are. The maid freely "jokes"(?) and talks back to the Commander as though there wouldn't be any consequence, or maybe she doesn't care about the consequences.

In the staircase, two paintings:

"Julius Caesar on Gold", Jean-Michel-Basquiat, 1981, Sotheby’s "Dark tree trunks", Georgia O'Keeffe, 1946, Brooklyn Museum

Contemporary art in these households?

But then, Commander Lawrence appears. And of course we know Bradley Whitford from The West Wing, but the role which he's now associated with is that of Dean Armitage in Get Out (what, you haven't seen Get Out? Go watch it and come back thanks). In Get Out, his racism (and that of his family) is for the first part of the movie contained to a "fascination" towards black people, hypocrite statements and intrusive behaviour. And the same uneasiness transpires through his character in The Handmaid's Tale.

During this episode, we learn from his wife, seemingly mentally broken and abused, that he is the founder of the Colonies system. We also learn that she was an Art professor.

“Life didn’t turn out the way she wanted it to. She was an art professor. She wanted everything to be beautiful.”

And like Mrs. Waterford who's in charge of the decoration in her home and chose impressionnist paintings (we can assume stolen from museums) to reflect her love of watercolor, it might be an indication that she at least participated in the decoration of the place, maybe even collected these pieces before Gilead existed. However, like everything in this world, and an earlier scene of Commander Waterford supervising the hanging of a family portrait reminds us, men are in charge, and the art surrounding them reflects on the taste and character of these men.

According to me, the art in the Lawrence household is very loud, and talkative.

The Handmaid's Tale has handled very poorly its treatment of race relations (or lack thereof), even though the Colonies are a shameless parallel to slavery and plantations. Here, the casting choice of Bradley Whitford combined with the artworks is voluntary, even though no explicit commentary is made. The irony of a Basquiat representing a black Julius Caesar hanging in the home of what would clearly be described as a white supremacist is not lost on us. O'Keeffe's paintings are known for their erotic symbolism, but here, deprived of any woman agency, the dark trunks might be an echo of a (black?) woman's body, dehumanized. This point of view is reinforced when Commander Lawrence forces his wife back to (her or their) room, and you can see in the background a painting representing two naked women, akin to the orientalist harem paintings of the late 19th century.

This manipulation of art, described as "the elite absorbing the Rebellion" is also evident in the painting by Sidney Nolan featured in the dining room during their last talk.

“After Glenrowan Siege (Second Ned Kelly series)”, Sidney Nolan, 1955, MoMA

The artwork depitcs Ned Kelly, a bushranger, an ambiguous figure of Australia's history, a defender of worker's rights, also associated with the killing of policemen. As an ultra-conservative religious system based on strict order, we could hardly see them align with the politics of Kelly; but as a sectarian minority who imposed their law by force, they might see themselves as rebels (remember the right always complaining of being oppressed by people wanting to be treated equally and respectfully...)

Gauguin is featured as well, surrounded by sculpted women torsos. in my opinion joining the contradictions of this Commander. The painting is that of christian Britton women in a landscape. For the post-impressionnist, Britanny was already an elsewhere, a place of wonder, deep religious fervor even though he was anticlerical, but not enough. He then traveled to French Polynesia where his "fascination" for the autochtones led him to abuse women, minors. We remember the art as one lauding the simple state of nature, with bright colors, celebrating pleasure and harmony, even though that art emerges from his imperialistic and machist desires and abuses.

“Landscape with two Breton Women”, Paul Gauguin, 1889, Boston MFA

The invasive and creepy conversation imposed by Commander Lawrence on Emily is ambiguous at best. I have little hope that we are presented with a respectful, righteous man. Even though in his turns of phrases he seems to disregard the hypocrite politeness of Gilead, and even their beliefs, as he seems to recognize Emily as a woman married and with a child, and not a gender traitor. But his interest is that of a man who maybe enjoys the brutality itself, celebrates genius and intellect and thinks art strives only from pain. So he appropriates that struggle, that of the artists, their history and fights. He is as entitled as the rest. His wife, complicit to a point, may have understood too late, may have felt guilt over their actions (her panick is shown as an illness when she is a voice of reason). She participated in that art deal, because she felt she could make the world beautiful, evidently according to her vision of beauty, so she bought, decorated, put varnish on a system that stripped creators from their agency, perverted their voice, or hid away their true nature.

At one point, Emily, who, as a woman, is not allowed to read, leaned over an open copy of Art Spiegelman’s Maus. The graphic novel is (as best as I can remember), about the artist learning about his family's history, the Shoah. This, too me, is as perverse as the game gets for Lawrence. He purposefully let that book open, at a page where people are shown hanged. We can imagine in this world how "provocative" art could be burnt, destroyed; maybe Aunt Lydia thought so when she entered. Commander Lawrence knows how Gilead could be compared to Nazi Germany (interestingly enough, right wing conservatives who call everyone nazis for wanting gun control, abortion rights etc. always feel offended when Trumpism and their "free thinking is called out as fascist, but I digress). Lawrence shows the totality of his power, how he controls her no matter how free she thinks she can be (by reading). He controls the narrative.

There is something potent in art, especially when we consider who owns it. Because there we either see the limit of the works, or that of the owner's honesty. The apparent failure of a piece brings about that of the person who chose to select it. Therefore, the failure, the crackling varnish, is not only that of Lawrence, whose perversity filters through his presence onscreen and not just because of how the artworks mirror his ambiguity, but a failure of the show itself, either because I gave them too much credit where it is not due, or because this awareness reflects on its previous flaws. I really hope I am wrong about this character, that he is in fact charitable, that the art is there for the wife, and allowed because he’s such an important member of Gilead (think of the high ranking officials who kept artworks for themselves in Nazi Germany). However, I wanted not to give a diagnostic but merely to try and think of ways to interpret art as reimagined in their fictional surrounding. For more debate I invite you to check the Handmaid’s Tale subreddit (as I did... after writing all this down urgh) here here and there. Other mentioned artworks I seem to have missed include Cézanne, Klimt (another wink at Nazi spoils)...

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preservationandruin · 7 years

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Meridas Amaram and Verbal Manipulation Techniques

Or, Meridas Amaram Is A Manipulative Sack of Shit

One of the Amaram scenes on Oathbringer dripped with manipulative tactics to me, so I pulled it out to do a full post about it because it’s a) well-written and b) really gives insight on his character. Post is under the cut, so as not to spoil things for people; this happens in chapter 53. I also talk about earlier instances, though, in Words of Radiance, which are above the cut.

It’s no secret that Amaram uses verbal manipulation to get what he wants. It’s part of how he retains such a flawless public persona--he’s a very good manipulator of social situations.

For example, look at his conversations with Dalinar in late Words of Radiance, about Kaladin’s accusations. He constantly brings up the fact that he and Dalinar are “on the same side” in various ways--high-class, older, lighteyes--and that Kaladin is other--darkeyes, former slave, young, clearly angry. He uses Kaladin’s anger to paint him as deranged and then hides his own disdain for him under faux-concern, including claiming he wants Kal to apologize to him for something he knows he did “Just to make sure he doesn’t believe it anymore.” It’s an insidious way of justifying what would be nothing but job security and an ego trip for himself. His constant identifying himself and Dalinar on a side is similarly insidious--it tries to ensure that Dalinar will empathize with him instead of Kaladin.

And then we get to the conversation in Oathbringer that really lit up how he tries to manipulate a situation and conversation.

The conversation, of course, is the conversation between him and Jasnah. I’ll go through it bit by bit.

“Jasnah, I was told I could find you here.” “Remind me to find whoever told you and have them hanged.” “Could we speak together more privately, just for a moment?”

Red flag one--not a huge one, but wanting to speak privately, out of earshot of other people so there aren’t witnesses to what is said is a manipulative tactic, making sure that nobody else sees the manipulation so as to keep his reputation clean. Clearly, Jasnah knows better than to let this work.

“I think not.” “We need to discuss your uncle. The rift between our houses serves nobody. I wish to bridge that chasm, and Dalinar listens to you. Please, Jasnah. You can steer him properly.” “My uncle knows his own mind on these matters, and doesn’t require me to “steer” him.” “As if you haven’t been doing so already, Jasnah. Everyone can see that he’s started to share your religious beliefs.” “Which would be incredible, since I don’t have religious beliefs.”

There’s a lot to unpack here. First--he’s rewriting history, painting the rift between houses as something that both houses are responsible for and have to solve. The rift between houses is entirely due to the actions of House Sadeas.

Second--he keeps repeating Jasnah’s name. Repeating someone’s name over and over is actually a common trait of people trying to manipulate others. Three- he assumes other people operate like him, through manipulation, and when Jasnah denies it tries to degrade her credibility by claiming she already is.

“Please, Private?” “Not a chance, Meridas. Go. Away.” “We were close once.” “My father wished us to be close. Do not mistake his fancies for fact.” “Jasnah--” “You really should leave before someone gets hurt.”

He tries to get her alone again, and then rewrites history again, claiming they were close when in reality, they weren’t. And he again uses her name--he repeats it again and again through the conversation. She also states in no uncertain terms she wants him to leave, and he doesn’t acknowledge it at all.

He ignored her suggestion, glancing at Navani and Shallan, then stepping close. “We thought you were dead. I needed to see for myself that you are well.” “You have seen. Now leave.”

This starts getting flat-up uncomfortable. He yet again refuses her request to leave, and instead makes sure there are people nearby whose opinion Jasnah presumably cares about--her ward and her mother. He then plays the sympathy card, claiming that he wanted to see her because everyone thought she was dead. This is a motivation that Navani and Shallan will sympathize with--he’s making himself seem to be the good guy in their eyes. Note the use of we here--he’s grouping them with him in that.

Another red flag is here too, because He just said that he came to see her because of Dalinar. Which one is true? Whichever one has a higher chance of getting Jasnah to do what he wants--talk to him alone.

Instead, he gripped her forearm. “Why, Jasnah? Why have you always denied me?”

He physically restrains her, here, and pulls out another justification--the desperate lover spurned by Jasnah’s icy demeanor. This may or may not be his true motivation--again, it’s hard to tell because he’ll pull out any justification that works. This, though, gets more under Jasnah’s skin than any of the earlier ones, as evidenced by the fact that it moves her enough to actually give him a full response:

“Other than the fact that you are a detestable buffoon who achieves only the lowest level of mediocrity, as it is the best your limited mind can imagine? I can’t possibly think of a reason.” “Mediocre?” Amaram growled. “You insult my mother, Jasnah. You know how hard she worked to raise me to be the best soldier this kingdom has ever known.”

It’s clear that he hit a nerve with his last attack at Jasnah, so she hits one in return, finally angry enough to trade blows with him. She goes straight for his ambition, and he twists it--she didn’t say anything about his mother, but he interpreted it as an attack on her and dragged her into the conversation with an already-angry Jasnah.

This is smart of him in a nasty way. Jasnah is a noted Rosharan feminist--she has written and spoken about the rights and roles of women, and we’ve seen some of that through the books. What Amaram does by bringing up his mother and using her as, essentially, a diversion, is put Jasnah in a situation where the temptation to attack a woman who had nothing to do with this situation is nearly unavoidable, and Jasnah goes straight for that bait in her attempt to cleverly insult Amaram:

“Yes, from what I understand, she spent the seven months she was with child entertaining each and every military man she could find, in the hopes that something of them would stick to you.”

It’s a doubly cheap shot: going after Amaram’s mother and implying that she was promiscuous. Jasnah herself admits later that it was a mistake done in anger, but it’s one that the entire room witnessed. In fairness to Jasnah, Amaram seems to be taken fully aback by how hard she pursued that line.

“You godless whore,” Amaram hissed, releasing her. “If you weren’t a woman...” “If I weren’t a woman, I suspect we wouldn’t be having this conversation. Unless I were a pig. Then you’d be doubly interested.”

A few more things from this--Amaram also immediately goes for promiscuity as an insult. That means that, for all it was a cheap and sexist shot, Jasnah’s aim was accurate--Amaram sees being promiscuous as deeply insulting or wrong for a woman, unsurprising in a culture so devoted to oaths.

Additionally, If you weren’t a woman is a threat. It’s the kind of line that is used often in movies, so we get desensitized to it, but it is an implied threat of violence. Amaram has gone from grabbing Jasnah to even more intimidation tactics as he loses control of the conversation.

Jasnah’s following comment--implying that Amaram wants to fuck pigs, which, for the record, had me in stitches of laughter--also seems to throw credibility behind the “Amaram is fixated on Jasnah because he has a thing for her and She Does Not Like Him As She Is A Woman Of Taste And Also Probably Queer” fire.

Side note, Amaram is absolutely the kind of guy who thinks he’s great enough for a lesbian to fall for him. His ego is the size of a mountain. He already is that asshole guy who calls a woman a slut when she refuses to date/sleep with him, as evidenced by this conversation.

Anyway, it’s the pigfucking insult that gets him to start to summon his Blade--an even more blatant intimidation tactic--but one that, of course, doesn’t work because Jasnah is just waiting for an excuse to fight, and so he has to storm off in defeat.

To summarize, here’s how Amaram dealt with the situation:

Tried to get Jasnah alone

Repeatedly used her name to refer to her, almost to excess (also a note, he used her first name from the beginning)

Rewrote or misrepresented history casually in his conversation to make it more favorable to him

Refused multiple unambiguous demands that he leave

Assumed others operate primarily through manipulation

Changed his justifications for why he was there multiple times as earlier ones were proven useless

Physically grabbed Jasnah

Ensured a sympathetic audience he knew Jasnah would want to look good in front of before making an argument

Redirects her insult to his mother, opening a door for her to undercut her feminist reputation

Resorts to name-calling and threats when losing control of the conversation

In conclusion: Wow, what a fucking asshole. Also, these are common manipulative tactics, along with the “grouping the pair of you as an in-group” that he used with Dalinar! Keep your eyes out for those, gang. They’re usually no good.

#oathbringer spoilers #the stormlight archive #roshar #cosmere meta #god do i hate meridas amaram #manipulation tw

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buckyscrystalqueen · 7 years

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Nobody’s Perfect: Part 3

Pairings: David Harbour x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, angst, fluff, unplanned pregnancy, mention of miscarriage (past)

Word Count: 2,256

A/N: This story was an idea that came to me from an interview David did. The quote was “…I’m better at the fantasy of relationships than I am at the daily real life, but I’m trying to steer myself into a realist…” And this is the story I came up with. I obviously don’t know David therefore I’m using my first amendment right, here…. & since David reads fan fics… if you ever see this, love… well, I’m sorry….

Part 1 / Part 2

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You stared off into space down the terminal David’s flight was arriving from full of fear and uncertainty. Your old doctor’s voice flowed through your brain, suffocating your senses with a past you wished with everything you had that you could forget. It was one of the lowest points in your life and you couldn’t stop yourself from thinking it was to be your fate once more.

“Earth to (Y/N). You copy?” You shook your head, snapping yourself from your memories and smiled up at David’s worried face.

“Sorry sweetheart. Just thinking. Happy Valentine’s day.” He nodded as he cupped your jaw in his hand and gave you a chaste kiss.

“Happy Valentines day, baby. Penny for your thoughts?” Your stomach turned and you shook your head.

“Not right now.” With a curious glance, he gave you a partial nod and followed you out of the airport toward your car. Your mind repeatedly tried to convince you that he would leave when you told him; that a relationship three months in was entirely too soon to have the miracle child that came to be through two different forms of birth control. And the terror of miscarrying again was snuffing out any other light you had. A baby was supposed to be a joyous situation but all you had was fear.

“Babe!” David grabbed your arm and yanked you back toward him seconds before you walked in front of a car that wasn’t paying attention in its rush to leave the airport parking lot. Your boyfriend searched your eyes and opened his mouth to yell at you for not paying attention. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t stop your bottom lip from trembling as you stared into his blue eyes.

“I’m pregnant.” You whispered as tears began their slow track down your cheeks. His eyes went wide and he quickly pulled you into his arms with an unbelieving shake of his head.

“Oh, fuck… shh, honey, it’s OK.” He soothed as he rubbed your back with shaky hands. He hiked his duffle up on his shoulder and pulled you back a step. “Where’s your car, (Y/N).” You looked around as you swiped at the tears on your cheeks and pointed toward the row you car was parked in. With a nod, he took your hand, checked for cars and lead you in that direction. He took your keys from your hand when you pulled them out of your purse. His head swam with thoughts as he put you in the passenger seat, tossed his bag in the trunk and got into the drivers seat beside you.

“I’m sorry I have to ask but… is it… it’s mine, right?” You nodded as you grabbed a stack of napkins from your glove compartment.

“Yea, it’s yours.” He nodded as he took a deep breath and scrubbed his hand down his face. You tucked your feet up on the chair and slipped your hands over your stomach. “I’m scared.”

“Me too, sweetheart.” You glanced over at him as he leaned his head against the back of the seat and pinched the bridge of his nose. You bit your lip and shook your head.

“I understand if you don’t wanna stay.” His head shot off the headrest. He reached out, gently grabbed your arm and pulled your hand over to his lap.

“I would never, never just leave you because of this, (Y/N).” He laced his fingers with yours and pulled your hand up to kiss your knuckles. “It’s just… fuck it’s a fucking bomb.” You nodded and bit your lip.

“I have to tell you something.” He nodded as you looked down at your stomach. “I had a miscarriage about six years ago. 10 weeks along. My body just rejected the pregnancy.” You felt his hand grip yours tightly and tears rolled down your cheeks. “I just… I don’t know what to do.” You looked over at him and shook your head. “Tell me what to do, David.”

“I can’t. Baby, I can’t tell you what to do.” He reached down between his legs to move the drivers seat back as far as it would go. He gently reached for you, pulled you into his lap and wrapped his arms around you. “We’ll figure this out, baby girl. We’ll figure it out together, OK?” You nodded against his shoulder and buried your tears stained face in his neck.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want…”

“I know, sweetheart.” He said softly as he rested his cheek on your forehead. He stared off into the distance through the windshield and nodded slowly. “I know.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Every single day for the first three months was spent in fear. Fear that David would leave you or make you get rid of the baby. Fear that you would lose your second child the same way you did your first. Fear of what his family and the media would think when they found out. But surprisingly, nothing bad happened and your fear slowly dwindled each and every day you got closer to your second trimester.

Your boyfriend went out of his way to call you every second he had a chance; four, five even six times a day to check in on his girl. After the initial shock wore off, he was ecstatic despite his own similar fears. He arranged his filming with his show ‘Stranger Things’ around your first doctors appointments. He went out of his way to hire a moving company to help your mother move to North Carolina so you wouldn’t have to put his child in any sort of risk. He even borrowed a few parenting books from his brother, Scott who had two kids of his own.

Both of your fears nearly disappeared by the second trimester and morphed into preparing for the arrival of your son. You chose to stay with your mom instead of bouncing around from Atlanta to New York to Chicago with David’s filming schedule. He finally got a small break in filming mid-July the day ‘Stranger Things’ came out on Netflix and he came down to Hendersonville, North Carolina on the red-eye to watch with you.

“I’m digging you in the uniform and cuffs, ‘Chief’.” You teased as you sat on your bed between his legs. “I think you may need to bring that shit home with you.”

“You would like that.” You giggled and nodded as his palms danced across your baby bump, gently pressing in on your child with each pass to get a kick back. You both glanced over as his phone chimed for the hundredth time that day with someone else congratulating him on the hit show the two of you had been binge watching all day. With a small smile, he poked back at his son, who kicked at his hands to protest not getting attention.

“Got him spoiled already.” You said with a smile as you looked back at the TV. He chuckled against your back and kissed the top of your head.

“Anything for my little boy and my favorite girl in the world.” You smiled to yourself as he rested his chin on the top of your head. You jumped slightly at a jump scare and gripped David’s leg a little tighter. His eyes stayed glued to the TV, just as lost in the show as you were as he moved his chin down to your shoulder. “You’re alright, baby girl.” He said softly as he pulled you tighter to his chest. You nodded as you watched Joyce, Hopper and Will in the Upside Down.

“So sad.” You whispered. David nodded against your shoulder as his hands tightened ever so slightly on your stomach. You rubbed his leg reassuringly as the two of you watched the end of the episode in silence. As the credits rolled, you picked up the remote to start the next episode only to see a ‘More like ‘Stranger Things’ option.

“What?! It can’t be over!” David chuckled and kissed your shoulder blade.

“That’s it.”

“But what happened to El! What’s with the worm thing? When is Jonathan going to admit he loves Nancy.” You looked over your shoulder with a fake scowl. “And when are you and Joyce hooking up? Jesus, baby. I need more!” He laughed, whole heartedly and shrugged.

“Don’t know. Guess you have to wait and see.” You scowled and scooted forward so you could go get something to drink before bed.

“You know I’m stealing your script when you get it.”

“The hell you are. You’ll get me fired.” He leaned forward and pushed on your ass to help you too your feet.

“I would do nothing of the sort… I’d just read it like really, really fast.” You paused in the doorway of your room and looked back over your shoulder at him. “You have them already, don’t you?” He shrugged and grabbed his cell phone to feign disinterest.

“Already read ‘em, too.” You growled at him as a smirk pulled at the corners of his lips.

“I don’t like you right now.” Your son kicked in your stomach and you turned partially and pointed at your bump. “And neither does he because he knows you’re being mean to his mommy.” Your boyfriend laughed as he looked up from his phone.

“Well I’m not spoiling it because I know you well enough to know that if I spoil it and let you read the scripts, you’re just gunna bug me when we watch it because I spoiled it. Which is why I don’t tell you what happens in movies I’ve seen that you haven’t.” You scowled and headed back to the kitchen.

“You’re gunna learn, baby boy, that daddy is no fun.” You heard him call out ‘I heard that’ as you said hi to your mom.

“Show’s done?” You nodded as you paused at the end of the couch and stretched your back.

“It’s really, really good.” Your mom looked up from her book with a smirk.

“Is it? Or are you just saying that because your baby daddy is in it?” You laughed as you continued on to the kitchen in the two bedroom, two bathroom ‘cabin in the woods’ she always wanted.

“Please, don’t ever call him my baby daddy ever again. You are not a teenager, you’re an old lady.”

“Who can say whatever the hell she damn well pleases about the father of her grandson.” You leaned against the counter and sipped your water with a shake of your head.

“You’re incorrigible.” She giggled and nodded as you refilled your glass of water and headed back to your bedroom.

“Sleep well, sweetheart.” You smiled and kissed her forehead on the way past. She leaned forward and kissed your stomach. “You too, in there. Give your mama a break tonight, OK?” You giggled as you rubbed at your stomach.

“Yea right. He’s been kicking up a storm since David got here.” Your mom smirked as she picked up her book.

“He knows who baby daddy is.” You rolled your eyes and shook your head as you headed back down your hallway.

“You’re embarrassing yourself, mother.” David cocked his eyebrow at you as you walked into the room with a laugh.

“What’s she doing now?” You set your cup down on the bedside table and headed over to his suitcase to steal one of his shirts for bed.

“She’s now most likely going to be referring to you as my baby daddy for a while.” He hummed as he got up off your bed and came over to you.

“How about fiancée?” You looked over at him as he reached past you to grab a box from his bag. There was the slightest tremor in his hands as he pulled open the top to reveal a gorgeous, flower shaped, white gold engagement ring. You gasped and looked up at him as he gently sunk down onto one knee. “Sweetheart, I have fallen head over heels in love with you and I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else. Will you marry me?” You nodded frantically as tears spilled from your eyes.

“Of course.” You heard your mom cheer from the living room as he stood up and wrapped his arms around your waist. He kissed you passionately as you cupped his scruff covered cheeks with your hands. He pulled back with a smile and tears in his own eyes so he could put the ring on your favorite.

“Your son agrees with it, too.” You joked as you took a hold of his hand and set it on your stomach. He smiled at the steady thumps.

“He knows we’re meant to be a family.” Your smile threatened to break your cheeks as you pulled him down to kiss you again. “I love you.” You nodded against his lips as you kissed the tip pf his nose.

“I love you, too, David.” He kissed you once more before heading over to grab his phone and his cigarettes.

“Come on, let’s go call my mom and show your mom. She’s been bugging me all day to see the ring.” You cocked your eyebrow at him as he showed you the shirt he was giving you permission to steal and tossed it on the bed. “Well I had to ask someone for your hand.”

“You’re too cute, baby.” He smiled and nodded as he turned you around and pushed you gently toward the door.

“I know I am and you love it.”

Part 4

#david harbour x reader #nobody's perfect

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brentwatchesmovies · 7 years

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Fall 2017 Update!

Hey, this blog still exists! It’s been about half a year since I’ve written anything up, and it’s been a bussyyyyy time in my life. Got married, started a new position and found out I’m going to be a father next spring! Amidst all of those changes, I’ve still somehow managed to see a bunch of movies over the last 6/7ish months. I wanted to do a kind of catch-up on here to make up for lost time, a kind of ‘speed round’ for the blog. I’ll still do my end of year top 8 early January I’m sure, but I wanted to get something up before then (and I’ll be honest, we ran out of work at my job today and they’re making us watch Hocus Pocus on a super small TV in the auditorium so I’m boooorrrred). So anyway, here’s some thoughts on a selection of movies I’ve caught over the last few months!

I wanted to write about this one from earlier in the year because I wrote about Director Nacho Vigalondo’s other film ‘Timecrimes’ way back in the day for the blog (check it out with the archives link above if you feel like it). This movie was a ride. From moment to moment, I had no idea where this movie was going next. Vigalondo makes movies that nobody else could, straight from his wild imagination. Anne Hathaway and Jason Sudekis are both great in their roles, especially the latter in a shockingly dynamic role that I won’t spoil here. There are a lot of gender politics at play in this one that I wasn’t expecting, but it makes for a poignant finished product that I’m super glad I caught in theaters. Check this one out at Redbox if you want a dark, funny and totally original, unpredictable experience.

What else could I say about this one that hasn’t been said by most critics and obviously the worlds box office. This movie clicked with seemingly everyone, taking the #1 spot at the box office for 2016 so far, surprising everyone. I had a blast with this movie, with it’s creative and beautifully shot action scenes and measured pace. Wonder Woman isn’t afraid to slow down and let its characters breathe a bit, creating one of the best relationships I’ve ever seen in a superhero movie between Steve and Diana. Gal Gadot is revelatory as Diana and Chris Pine is as good as ever. I’ve always been more of a Marvel fan, but I’m truly happy that the DCU finally got a win, and I hope they have plenty more to come.

I’ve been eagerly waiting for the latest from Edgar Wright and as expected, it did not disappoint. The guy is one of the most exciting new directors working right now, possibly the MOST exciting, and his latest is a pure blast of energy like only he can deliver. More akin to a musical than his usual dark action/comedies, he’s doing something different and more challenging with Baby Driver. He’s getting even better as an action director, and the editing especially in this movie deserves an Oscar. This is one of the most fun movies you’ll see all year, and I’ll recommend it to everybody I meet.

If you’ve followed this blog for any length of time, you’ll know that director Bong Joon-ho is one of my favorite directors working today. I wrote about The Host and Snowpiercer on here, and his latest might be my favorite work of his yet. His usual balancing act of tones is on display in Okja, a movie that is equal parts a Spielberg Amblin-era film with some Miyazaki, and a good amount of dark satire to top it off. It’ll make you second guess eating meat for a while after watching it. Okja also has one of the most bonkers, out-there performances of the year with Jake Gyllenhall’s psychotic TV nature-show host. This one is a Netflix exclusive, so definitely carve out some time for Okja.

The third attempt at Spider-Man finally nails the character like only Marvel studios could. Don’t get me wrong, I really love Raimi’s Spidey 1 and 2, but Tom Holland is the PERFECT Peter Parker AND Spider-Man. The movie is more of a coming of age story than a typical superhero movie, and it benefits from having a much smaller scale than a lot of the typical Marvel/superhero movies. It also benefits greatly from taking place in this universe Marvel has been crafting for almost 10 years now. It also has probably the best Marvel villain yet in Michael Keaton’s ‘Vulture’, a character as grounded and human as our heroes. It’s another great addition to the MCU, and I can’t wait to check this one out again.

The second to last one I wanted to write about is ‘It’, the surprisingly huge box office sensation. I didn’t expect much out of this movie for one reason or another. The trailers were effective, but I just expected a run of the mill jump-scare fest. I had also watched the original movie/miniseries awhile back and thought I knew what to expect. The movie definitely has plenty of jump scares, but I was surprised at how much heart the movie had. The cast of child actors were great across the board, and I was surprised at how emotionally engaged I was with their journeys through the movie. On top of that, all of the creepy clown stuff really worked for me, and Skarsgard killed in the role of Pennywise (no pun intended). I was surprised at how much I enjoyed It, and I’m stoked to see where the story goes next in part 2

I really can’t believe this movie exists in its current form. The fact that Marvel locked down Taika Waititi for a ‘Thor’ movie is ridiculous, and that he didn’t quit mid-production is even more shocking in this Hollywood climate. Thor Ragnarok is a breath of fresh air for not only the Thor series (yes it’s obviously the best of the three) but really, for Marvel as well. In my opinion, it one-ups Guardians vol. 2 (which isn’t on here but I really enjoyed) by being a straight-up delivery machine of fun and hilarious moments. Jeff Goldblum at his Goldblumiest, Waititi as the scene stealing ‘Korg’, and Thor actually being an awesome, badass character?! Yes!

That’s going to do it for this speed round on the blog! I just wanted to do a bit of a catch up on some of what I’ve been watching lately. I’ve seen a lot more than these, and will definitely write up more near the end of the year. Some of these might be on my faves list but most won’t be. If there’s something surprisingly absent from here, chances are it’ll pop up later this year. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed reading this, and as always hit me up to talk about any of the above movies! I’ve been busy with my movie podcast ‘Director Showdown’ that I make with Adam Daufen, so go check that out on iTunes if you haven’t and thanks for reading!

#it movie #it #pennywise #thor ragnarok #Taika Waititi #spiderman #okja #collossal #anne hathaway #chris hemsworth #jake gyllenhaal #tom holland #tom hiddleston #Gal Gadot #wonder woman #movies #movie review #Movie Reviews

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hubskitchen · 7 years

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Hub’s Kitchen Episode 5: Dragon Ball FigherZ Review: The Game Dragon Ball Fans Need

Hey guys, Hub here again, and welcome to Episode 5 of Hub’s Kitchen. Today, I’m gonna be reviewing Dragon Ball FighterZ for the Playstation 4, Xbox One, and Steam. I apologize for not being active for a good while. Blame college and my okay-ish midterm grades and me getting them up for that. I’ve been wanting to talk about FighterZ for a while, and oddly enough, I didn’t think I was I gonna talk about Dragon Ball so soon on this blog. I’ll get to the point: I’m a casual Dragon Ball fan. I haven’t read the manga, but I have watched the original Dragon Ball anime as well as the Dragon Ball Z anime (well Kai anyway because fuck having to watch 291 episodes). Dragon Ball is not a masterpiece in story-telling, nobody’s gonna argue that it is. However, the fighting and character interactions make up for those shortcomings (except for GT. Fuck GT). That, and Dragon Ball Z Abridged. Watch that, it’s amazing. I have played a few DB games before, mainly the first and third Budokai games and the Legacy of Goku games on the GBA, but I haven’t played that many games from the franchise. Anyway, enough with the stalling, it’s time to review Dragon Ball FighterZ!Oh, and be prepared to see names and storylines that might not be familiar to you guys, since I’m not sure if my followers know anything ‘bout Dragon Ball.

STORY

Dragon Ball FighterZ takes place within the Dragon Ball Super timeline (aka, in between the Buu saga and Peaceful World arc from Z). When exactly? I don’t really know. I’ve seen conflicting reports from saying it takes place after the Universe 6 arc but before the Goku Black arc, other say it takes place before the Tournament of Power. I’m gonna say it takes place before the Goku Black arc, but I think FighterZ is non-canon anyway, much like the DBZ movies. Anyway, because of strange energy waves that are disrupting their power, the Z-Warriors lost all their power (or strength) and are now on the same level, and believe me, for some characters, that is a good thing ‘cause it won’t be another Goku show (That’s what GT is for). The Z-Warriors also see that a soul is trapped inside the main character of the arc (yes, I’ll get to this), and that by linking with that soul, it allows you to fight alongside the Z-Warriors. Elsewhere, there’s a new character: Android 21. All we know from the Super Warriors arc is that she resurrected some of the classic DBZ villains using the Namekian Dragon Balls, like Frieza and Cell, and plans on doing… things to them. I won’t go into spoiler territory because that’s just one of the three stories. Yes, you heard me right. FighterZ gives you three stories to play. The Super Warriors arc, which focuses on the heroes and Goku being the main character (I mean, he is Goku after all), the Villain arc, which focuses more on the villains and Frieza being the main character (man, Super really loves Frieza. Not that I mean, but still), and the Android arc, with Android 18 being the main character. Having three stories in a fighting game, a genre not known for story? Sounds awesome, right? It does… until you actually play the story mode.

Okay, so here’s the biggest problem with the story mode: There are three, fucking stories in this game, and all of them last roughly four hours long. Doesn’t sound bad yet? Well, throughout the story, you move your characters throughout different points on a map, with limit amount of movements. That never becomes a problem, so ignore that. The bad part starts with the clones. As you’re moving along map, you have to fight clones of the characters, and this gets old faaaaaaast. By the time I got to the Android saga, I was so fucking done fighting clones that I had to listen to different music, podcasts, and have something on in the background because I needed something to keep me going. That’s a huge shame because the cutscenes and the character interactions are great. Whenever you enter a fight with certain characters, you’ll get a cutscene to trigger. Let me just say: Anything, and I do mean anything with Cell is fucking gold. Go look up videos of Cell in this game. He’s fucking amazing. It’s just that having to play 3 stories, fight clones the entire time, and for roughly 12 hours too gets tedious and boring fast. It’s easily the weakest part of this game.

PRESENTATION

Dragon Ball FighterZ looks and sounds fantastic. The Unreal 4 engine was used brilliantly, and the game almost looks like it came straight from the anime. The game even lifts direct pages from the manga and anime, like the Father-Son Kamehameha and the Family Kamehameha, and they look beautiful. The characters animate well in cutscenes and on the battlefield, and many of their signature moves (take Krillin’s Destructo Disk or Kiensan for you weebs out there), look fantastic.

The soundtrack is also pretty good, if a little reliant on hard rock. Then again, I love hard rock, so I don’t mind. Sadly, because of this, the music can all blend together, and the character themes are often ignored. A lot of the character themes are great. My personal favorites being Goku, Yamcha, Hit, Gohan, and Vegeta.

The voice acting is solid too. FighterZ allows you to switch between Japanese and English, and as much as I love Masako Nozawa’s take on Goku, I’m more of a Sean Schemmel guy. Anyway, both voice casts do a great job. Got not much to say about that.

GAMEPLAY

If you’ve played Marvel Vs Capcom 2, then you’d understand how Dragon Ball FighterZ works. For the uninitiated, first off, get initiated, but more importantly, DBFZ is a 2D 3v3 style fighting game. What that means is that you have a team of 3 characters and you can tag them in and out of battle. You have your combos, tech, assists to help you in battle, super meter that allows for heavy-hitting attacks, all that good stuff. In an interesting twist, FighterZ is designed as a fighting game first, and a Dragon Ball game second. Most of the time, it’s the other way around. A lot of Dragon Ball games try to capture the feeling of the anime, even down to the gameplay. From what I’ve seen, the Tenkaichi, Raging Blast, and Xenoverse games tend to do this fairly well. While that’s well and fine, I tend to prefer a simple 2D fighter with Dragon Ball characters.

One thing that sets FighterZ apart from something like Street Fighter is that FighterZ decides to make things simpler for new players. The game has an auto-combo system. What that means is that you can press a button (let’s say square for example), and you can get a combo from that. While this is good for introducing players into the game, it’s gonna get their asses kicked if they try to spam auto-combos online. It’s recommended that you get into practicing the game’s mechanics, which the game’s first story in the story mode helps you come to grips with. Or you could try learning the mechanics in the practice mode.

The roster for FighterZ is pretty solid, but if you’re spoiled by the likes of the Budokai Tenkaichi games with their huge rosters, FighterZ might disappoint you. It has everyone important (Goku, Vegeta, both Teen and Adult Gohan, Frieza, etc) to characters from Super like Hit, Goku Black, and Beerus. The game is getting DLC, and the first two characters confirmed are Bardock (father of Goku) and Broly (one of the most popular DBZ movie villains, and is, to quote his abridged movie, is a “literal giant fucking baby”).

Like every fighting game these days, Dragon Ball FighterZ has an online mode. Sadly, this review will not be going over that because I have not played any of them yet ‘cause I don’t have a Playstation Plus subscription at the moment and need to renew it. From what I’ve heard, the online has had several problems, from games losing connection, to having a hard time finding matches, etc. Doesn’t help that the game has this stupid lobby system that you have to be online for. Sure, there’s an offline lobby, but it’s still kinda lame that the game has to have an online lobby to begin with. There recently was an update that I heard fixed some of the problems, as well as adding a Party Mode of sorts, but again, ‘cause I don’t have PS Plus, I can’t verify if that’s the case for me.

OVERALL

Dragon Ball FighterZ is definitely a welcome addition to both Dragon Ball and fighting games in general. While the story mode was a bust outside of great character cutscenes, and the game having some noticeable online problems, FighterZ excels in the most important area: the fighting. Fast-paced, frantic, and easy to play, you don’t need to be a Dragon Ball fan to enjoy this game. I highly recommend it.

And that’s it. Sorry for the lack of depth, but I wanted to try to be quick and to the point with this review, seeing as how it was my first game review. Anyway, on the next episode of Hub’s Kitchen, I’m gonna review my second movie on this blog, and one I’ve had requests for. That movie, is Coco. ‘Til next time guys. I’m Hub Pie, and thanks for reading!

#dragon ball fighterz

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kyluxtrashpit · 7 years

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Okay so now for the real post. I was prepared to write this whole big thing about the kylux fandom and why I’m staying despite some things and such but honestly the movie was pretty good? As some of you know, I was fucking TERRIFIED I’d have to leave the ship (also shoutout to those who helped calm me down; you know who you are <3). I have some quibbles, which I’ll get into below, but overall it was pleasantly surprising. FYI this post of full of spoilers and please remember I spoiled myself on a good amount of it before going in. I’m also very happy I did

And also… this was all 100% in line with the headcanons I already had for kylux? I’ve seen a lot of people freaking out and jumping ship and saying we need to completely reimagine the characters, which, sure, if you want to, go nuts, but idk I didn’t personally get anything like that? Snoke pitting them against each other, because you know if he talked shit about Hux to Kylo, he’s definitely doing it the other way around too. And yes, Kylo does attack Hux, but Hux was also about to kill him before he woke up, even if Kylo doesn’t know that, so we’re in exactly the same place as before. I could talk a lot about why their characterizations are exactly in line with the way I saw and wrote them before and why Kylo taking on the mantle of Supreme Leader does not mean Hux is inferior to him in practice in any way, shape, or form, but this post is way too fucking long already so I’ll save it for another day

Instead, here’s a list of Thoughts in no particular order:

Kylo was fucking PHENOMENAL. This. This is what I wanted. My boy being unstable as fuck and making terrible split-second impulse decisions and getting himself in way over his head. He’s going to regret taking the throne in like 3 days. Guaranteed. He’s made the biggest mistake of his life and he doesn’t even know it yet because he has no idea what he actually wants, just saw an opportunity and went ‘oh shit… the throne is empty… wait. I know how to sit?? I could sit on it??? YES THIS IS A GREAT IDEA I’M THE NEW LEADER FUCK YES’. I fucking love my disaster boy. I love him so much I can’t even articulate it

Also like… Rey shows him one small moment of kindness and he’s immediately like ‘someone was nice to me??? okay cool this is all it took to convince me to kill my abusive mentor for the last better part of a decade who’s been in my head for almost my entire life just because of that’ and like… that is both the most Kylo thing I’ve ever seen and the biggest mood I’ve ever had. This is why we always wrote Hux capable of manipulating him and why Snoke was able to manipulate him; Kylo aches for positive attention from literally anyone

“I want every gun we have to fire on that man” JFC HONEY NO. But on a more serious note, the second the mask comes off, all of his control is gone. He’s trying so hard to assert his dominance and power over everyone he encounters because he thinks that will make him feel better, that it’s what he wants, but he’s so fucking out of control and out of his depth that it just utterly falls flat, just like in tfa after the mask came off. He can Force choke and throw people all he wants, literally no one is fooled. He has no idea what he’s doing and it’s staggeringly obvious

I also really liked seeing baby Ben, even for just like 10 seconds

Literally the only Kylo thing I did not like were his pants. Like goddamn boy, that waist is way too high. No wonder your temper is so finicky. I’d be angry too if I was wearing uncomfortable, excessively high-waisted pants all the time

I, too, did not like the dumb humour with Hux (see: the entire opening bit. Like literally all of it; Poe should not have been able to pull that off and Hux is not that stupid) but I also still see the Hux I’ve come to love in there. The snark, pulling a gun without hesitation on Kylo for the double tap but being smart enough to hide it when he wakes up, the entire command shuttle bit (except the Force throw – that was unnecessary), and especially that glare of absolute rage and hatred at Kylo once he turns away inside the base on Crait. I’m okay with tired disaster Hux and you can tell he’s already planning a coup. The army seems to still be under his control anyway; he just needs to wait until Kylo finishes digging his own grave and then give him that extra push into it

That said, I’m really glad we got to see Hux bitch slap someone, even if I wish it hadn’t been Finn

Rose was the other highlight of the movie right up until the kiss with Finn. I loved their interactions but the unnecessary heterosexuality was just… no. And then the bit at the end that definitely looked towards a love triangle? *loud gagging noises* no, fuck that shit. Literally everything else with her was absolutely amazing though, especially the Canto Bight stuff

Finn felt… off somehow? I can’t explain why, but he just felt like a weaker character here. Finn was really compelling in tfa and I really wanted more with him and to learn more about him, but I feel like he didn’t do much? The fight with Phasma was a little underwhelming (also she deserved to go out more impressively than that) and most of the other stuff was someone else instigating and him just going along. He seemed… too passive, maybe? I can’t put my finger on what was off, but I didn’t like it and I’m a little let down there. I also really wanted him to be Force-sensitive and really felt he was built up to be. How else was he the only person to ever break FO conditioning?

Poe was also… not how I imagined? I always saw him as the ‘calm pal’ kinda guy but I guess he’s a little more jumped up than I expected. Not a gripe, per se, but just surprising. They also very much did demote him from main character status, which is kinda sad

Admiral Holdo was a fucking boss and I love her. So was Leia for most of it (expect what was with that space scene?). Fuck yeah powerful older women. I need so much more immediately. However, I also wish Leia had gotten more time and it also saddens me that she’s now lost her entire family. Yes, she has the Resistance, and Poe and Rey and Finn, but she has no one from her past. Literally no one. Leia had already lost so much coming into this trilogy and it’s absolutely tragic that all she did was lose more. Leia deserved better, but with Carrie gone, we know Leia won’t be getting it in 9

DJ WAS FANTASTIC. I did not see that coming. And I hope we never see him again because it would ruin the purpose of his character

I liked most of Rey’s arc. I wasn’t sure about the Force bond (I knew about it beforehand) but it ended up working for me and was actually really cool. I still do not ship r*ylo at all (it’s just not for me, ship what you want), but their interactions are intriguing and I can understand why things played out how they did. Rey wanted help for the rebellion and a teacher. She thought that was Luke, but it wasn’t, and then she thought that was Kylo, but it wasn’t. I think she just needs to realize that maybe it’s up to her to be the one to help the rebellion. She’s figured out most of the Force on her own already; I don’t think she needs a teacher. Although the jealous look towards Finn and Rose was just awful. I’m also very concerned for her arc in 9 because I swear if they make it all about trying to save Kylo, I’d be fucking pissed. She’s her own character. She doesn’t exist to help him

I’m also… not sure I buy Rey being a nobody? It’s either a lie or just bad writing to lead up to it. Because in tfa, it’s always ‘who’s the girl?’, ‘what girl?’, etc. I also always got the feeling that Kylo knew who she was, somehow? And why did the Skywalker family lightsaber choose her over Kylo? Why does she have the same amount of power as Kylo if there’s no relation whatsoever? How are her parents buried on Jakku if she saw a ship flying away? I just feel like it was built up to lead elsewhere and then it didn’t. Then again, it is possible Kylo is lying or only thinks he knows, but idk. It’s not that I hate the idea of her being a nobody, but the execution of it was tremendously clumsy

As for Luke… I don’t know. Luke has never been the kind of person to attack first. He is a gentle flower. The entire point of him is his idealism, his hope, his kindness. Even if it was in a moment of instinct, of fear, I don’t think he’d pull a lightsaber first on anyone, especially a family member, no matter how much Dark was in him. Luke saw the Light in Darth Vader, of all people. That it was stressed to be an accident and for Luke to realize he’d fucked up big helped, but I still don’t know if I buy it. I understand bringing flaws to Luke, but I don’t think these were the right flaws to bring. I… don’t know. I haven’t decided how I feel about this yet. And also his death was just odd? What killed him? Was the implication that Force-projecting that far is too hard? Idk, it was really strange and I didn’t get it. I need to think on how I feel about it. Also ‘see you around, kid’ was a pretty dumb last line. Even though I’m pretty sure it was more a promise/threat than anything else. He’s going to be haunting the shit out of everyone

I really liked the crystal foxes. I want 10 of them immediately. However, I have no strong feelings one way or the other on the porgs

THE FUCKING IRON. Jfc I was like ‘omfg that ship looks like an iron, that’s so ridiculous’ AND THEN IT WASN’T A SHIP, IT WAS JUST AN IRON. It was inordinately funny to me. I lost my shit and my friend gave me a dubious look

I wish we’d seen the KOR and I really, really hope we do in 9. Come on, JJ, I believe in you. Let me see the rest of the disaster children in action

Yoda’s cameo was kinda dumb and unnecessary. I know that was supposed to be the moment that changed Luke’s mind but… ehhh. I could’ve done without

The bit at the end with the random kid was also stupid and I wish they’d cut it

Now the biggest thing is… where the fuck are they going with 9? The Resistance is 10 people in the Falcon, the Order is being run by a guy who has absolutely no fucking clue what he’s doing and a second in command that is ready to murder the shit out of him the second he gets the chance. Leia probably won’t be there, so the OT trio is gone. This movie was also weird because it was like… the span of a day and a half? At most? It’s a really strange timeline to go with imo and it’s going to make 9 hard. I’m scared Rey will become an accessory to Kylo’s story (which is most likely going to end up as an even more ham-fisted redemption arc than it would’ve been if it had started in 8). Like no one is in a powerful place. If there were 2 more movies coming, I think it would work, but with only 1? Ehhhh, idk. I have faith in JJ but in some ways he’s been written into a corner, I think. We’ll have to see, I guess

#god this is SO LONG I'm sorry lmao #most are positive thoughts #kylo is fucking amazing #some criticisms though #I'm actually really happy I spoiled myself on some but not all things #there were still surprises but I liked piecing it together #anyways #text #shut up nerd #tlj spoilers

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