#and no matter how ‘unrealistic’ it is

[n30n-l1ghts]

Tokyo revengers basic NSFW headcannons pt. 1

characters- Mikey, Draken, Mitsuya, Baji, Kazutora, Chifuyu, Hakkai, Nahoya, Souya, Hanma, Kisaki

Mikey-

Packing a respectable 5.8 inches, with a light pink tip and a couple of small bluish purple vains that aren't really noticeable unless he's painfully hard, he doesn't really curve to one side or the other, but he has a subtle upward curve. He doesn't strike me as the type who tries too hard with grooming, but he at least tries every now and again. But the hairs down there are the same pretty strawberry blonde as his hair, pretty thin and a little wispy with a slight curl towards the end.

Draken-

PUH-LEASE. This boy is fucking HUNG and he knows how to use it too. Curves hard left as well. He doesn't have the most experience as I can't imagine him sleeping around much, but he's heard the girls at the brothel complain enough that he generally knows what to do and what not to do. 7.9 inches holy GAWD. I think he stays pretty on top of grooming, manscapes at least once every other week. Also blonde, but I think he's got more curls than Mikey. Definitely a lot thicker. Also, completely random, but I feel like he'd totally fuck with coconut body wash and shampoo.

Mitsuya-

Another man who's got a rather mid-sized length, I'd say probably like 5.4. The prettiest pinkish lavender tip, and oh my god I mean it when I say this man's cock is beautiful. It deserves to be worshipped. Not all that big, BUT he makes up for it by knowing all the sweet spots. Not to mention he's the KING of foreplay and aftercare. He for sure stays on top of his grooming game, he can't stand feeling like he looks sloppy. He's got a pretty tuft of curly white hair right at the base of his dick, very well maintained and usually actually smells pretty good. Again, this man is on top of his hiegene and he wants all of him to smell good and look good at all times. (Not that he could ever look bad)

Baji-

I'd guess about 6.3 in size for him, and his tip is red and angry like his face (I'm joking. Mostly, but he does get painfully hard very quickly) there's a thick ass pinkish vein that runs from base to tip, and he will full body shiver if you lick the whole thing. I'm sorry, but I cannot for the life of me imagine that this man gives a singular fuck about grooming down under. He might trim a little or shave on occasion, but that's only if it gets annoying. However, his hair is effortlessly shiny and beautiful no matter where it is on his body. I have no idea how he does it. But, if it bugs you, he would (begrudgingly) start manscaping more often.

Kazutora-

LITTLE DICK SUPREMACY

Okay- little known fact, but I kind of have a thing for subby guys with little dicks, that and I want to give some variety so I'm not making them all unrealistically huge. So I'm gonna say this man sits at about 4.2. Not rediculously small, but definitely not big either. But it's okay, because he'd much rather be under you anyways. Slightly unrelated but this boy has trust issues so please be kind to him, hold his hand and tell him how good he's being, he will absolutely start crying. Never really even thought about his hair down there, never paid any mind to it, and probably wouldn't unless you brought it up. But I see him being super understanding and chill with it if you want him to groom more often.

Chifuyu-

Another one on the slightly smaller side, probably only around 4.5 to 4.6 with a sort of muted pink tip. He's actually kind of self conscious about it, so he's a bit sensitive if you make fun of him for it, but he'll fold instantly if you praise him in any way, shape, or form. I feel like he's the type to get all embarrassed and blushy super easily despite trying to play it cool. Would not admit he's a bottom out loud but everyone can pretty much tell anyways. Honestly pretty clean, I feel like pubes might bug him. He might try to keep a small tuft down there just because he feels it's more masculine, but I'd reckon he'd prefer it clean shaven. Less of a hassle and it doesn't get on his nerves that way.

Hakkai-

Oh, this poor sweet boy. So much dick that he has no idea how to use 🥺 I can't imagine him topping for the life of me, so it's almost adorable how his monstrous 8.3 inches just hangs there uselessly hanging as he gets pounded into his next life, squealing like a little bitch, whimpering and whining and pleading and- *AHEM* anyways. I imagine he's pretty alright with grooming, mostly because he super looks up to Mitsuya, who had told him at some point or another that it was important to look clean everywhere. But I don't think he's quite that good at manscaping though to his credit, he does at least try. He's got a decent sized tuft of thick, curly black hair that he trims maybe once a month or so when he remembers. But he'd get better about it in a heartbeat if you asked him to and gave him some basic block of instruction. Smells like vanilla though, so there's that.

Nahoya-

Nahoya's got a relatively solid 6.2, with a slight curve to the left and a pale tip. I feel like he'd probably be more experienced with it than his brother, even though his twin is a little bigger. He just strikes me as much more of the playboy type. (Probably gets hard after a good fight, I don't make the rules) super duper curly hair down there, ginger just like the hair on his head. Probably keeps it moderately well groomed. Enough to be presentable for the ladies (and the lads-)

Souya-

Similar to his brother (no shit they're identical twins) but with slight differences. For starters, he's ever so slightly bigger, measuring up to about 6.6, and he curves pretty hard right instead of slight left. He's not too experienced, but he strikes me as a rather quick learner. He doesn't normally care to groom all that much, but after getting into a relationship, especially if you guys are sexually active, he will actually start to manscape on occasion. Also super duper curly hair, but it's light blue instead of ginger, again matching his hair.

Hanma-

(Definitely gets INSTANTLY rock hard after a good fight, I don't make the rules) 7.9, same as Draken, difference is that Hanma has less girth. A tall, skinny dick for a tall, skinny boy. But he knows how to break you and he will go hard when he's domming. Or alternatively, when he's in the mood to sub, he gets a little bratty (just give his cock a rough squeeze and he'll shut right up) dark brown almost black hair, thick and curly. Contrary to popular belief I feel like he would put at least some effort into grooming, though he does forget sometimes.

Kisaki-

Oh, this boy. Solid middle of the road (just like his height- jk this boy short asf) but I think he'd have maybe around a 5.3 or 5.4 length wise. Pretty average around too, not particularly skinny but not particularly girthy either. Would absolutely fight you for dominance every time, and lose every time. This boy would rather die than ever admit he's a bottom, and he's 100% a brat until you edge him to the point he's sobbing. DEFINITELY clean. Well kept, grooms just about every day to every other day, and I feel like there's a fifty fifty chance he also dyes his pubes blonde. I can see him doing that. But this man hates being dirty at all. And tell me why I feel like his hipster ass smells like pumpkin spice all year round? All in all, a well kept, bratty little bitch.

[applestorms]

ooo, a shinigami eyes logistics talk again, i've written about this before!! i have some slight disagreements with this answer actually:

This only occurred because Ryuk dropped a Death Note and Light Yagami picked it up. With this, we can say with certainty that humans have free will and deaths that were not supposed to happen can occur if people interfere.

while it is definitely true that the deaths light causes go against those predestined by the lifespan counters the shinigami can see, i would argue that this is not actually proof of human free will, but of free will specifically related to the death note.

by the inherent nature of how shinigami use their death notes, it is necessary that human lifespans are static and unchanging (they wouldn't be able to gain any years otherwise), which means that to some degree they must be predetermined. humans may have some free will on a smaller scale, in terms of the specific actions they take day to day, how they eventually die, etc., but as a whole they cannot escape that number. if a human were to, for example, attempt suicide long before their lifespan ran out right before a shinigami could successfully write down their name (i.e. they die due to free will and not because of either their name being written or their counter running out), it would presumably fuck up the shinigami's ability to feed their own lifespan. humans thus must have at the very least have some major limitations on their free will, if we're assuming that this aspect of the shinigami's survival mechanism takes priority.

point is, shinigami need to be able to rely on lifespan counters as accurate for the sake of their survival. death notes themselves may go against the predetermined course of the universe in this way by killing people before their due date, but even in the case that a human is using a DN, this should not be taken as evidence of human free will-- just the ability for a shinigami-based entity to go against the natural course of human fates.

[Light] killed them with the Death Note, which was never supposed to be involved. And this is the same question that is raised when we consider Soichiro Yagami—and even Mello, for that matter. Mello likely never would've joined the mafia and done all this crazy dangerous stuff, Soichiro likely never would have gone into a dangerous raid at his age, if it weren't for the presence of the Death Note.

there are some official rules relevant to this one, specifically:

Whether the cause of the individual's death is either a suicide or accident, if the death leads to the death of more than the intended, the person will simply die of a heart attack. This is to ensure that other lives are not influenced. (X) [ and ] A human death caused by the Death Note will indirectly lengthen some other human's original life even without a specific intention to lengthen a particular person's original life span in the human world. (LIX) [ note also that X is essentially repeated in XXVI as: "Even though only one name is written in the Death Note, if it influences and causes other humans that are not written in it to die, the victim's cause of death will be a heart attack." ]

thus at least according to the official DN rules (and this could definitely have some plot holes/inconsistencies, but let's see if we can make it fit anyways) human lifespans can be influenced by deaths caused by the DN, but only in a positive manner, e.g. a lifespan can end up longer than originally determined, but cannot end up shorter.

the most questionable/unrealistic part of all of this in my mind though is that claim that, "other lives are not influenced." the more obvious point that this is trying to establish is that other (unwritten) lives cannot be cut off in the sense that you can't write "Person A kills [such-and-such]," without writing both names, meaning that light can't write something like, "Soichiro Yagami kills the head of the KIRA investigation, the man under the pseudonym L," and end the story prematurely. but this statement also has the somewhat awkward side effect of implying that lives as a whole cannot be majorly influenced by the DN so long as their names are not written...

ANYWAYS, the important point here is again the fact that the lifespan itself is what is being predetermined, and not necessarily the exact cause of death. perhaps there are many paths that an individual human may take throughout their life, and they have free will in terms of which specific one they choose-- but they cannot change the natural date of when they're fated to die, at least not without the help of the shinigami. and again, a death cannot come earlier due to DN influence, only later.

soichiro took the eyes because he was already suicidal-- he thought himself a failure for allowing mello to get the DN and use him to manipulate the task force, for choosing his daughter's life over his job. i can very easily see an alternate timeline where he allowed matsuda to take the eyes as planned, only to either off himself or die from the same explosion but slightly slower a day later than in canon, or even one where he did take the eyes but wrote mello's name, forcing light to kill him to cover his tracks & keep up appearances with the 13 day rule. thus his death was coming soon no matter what in the timeline where a DN does exist-- and in the case where it doesn't, where light never got the notebook or ryuk never dropped it, i think the divergences are just too extreme for us to be able to claim whether or not he would've died at that same point in time. our only evidence is really the lifespan itself, which would presumably claim that he dies either at the same time as his dead in canon, or even a bit earlier if we assume that the DN's influence somehow lengthened his life in some way (maybe by killing a criminal that would've gotten him?).

edit: the key point here is that soichiro’s name wasn’t written, so his lifespan can’t be influenced to be shorter by the DN.

in the case of mello, i guess i just don't see it as all that unrealistic that mello would've still joined the mafia or somehow lost his shit, considering how relatively disconnected both mello & near are from the KIRA investigation. their rivalry (well, maybe more like "rivalry" in near's case) seems like such a key part of their characters, i can see plenty of other circumstances under which something like that might've happened. and we don't really know mello's "true" death date anyways, since takada killed him with the DN, so...

[D]espite halving her lifespan twice, I think Misa had the potential to live for an extremely long time, possibly even way past the average lifespan of a normal human. But she killed herself. And that's where the big question about free will and destiny come in.

your equation is a very helpful visual, but the one thing that i think it may be missing is the fact that misa had already run up against the end of her natural lifespan at the time that gelus saved her and gave her his little time infusion. so, when we're judging whether or not it is realistic that misa would've died by the end of the story, we're really only counting 1/4 of gelus's lifespan + all of rem's remaining time.

i don't think it's entirely unrealistic that even if shinigami as a whole have plenty of time ticking away, gelus & rem do not. their interest in misa to begin with sets the two of them up as kinda weird in contrast with the rest of the shinigami-- honestly, even ryuk, with his fixation on humans as a source of entertainment, is a bit of an odd one out. shinigami just Don't seem to give much of a shit about humanity (at least until KIRA happens)-- looking at ryuk's explanation:

In actual fact, shinigami these days don't have a lot to do. All they do is nap, or gamble. If they see you scribbling humans' names into your death note, they say, "What're you working so hard for?" and laugh at you. (ch.1)

thus, at least at the start of the story, shinigami have some degree of social pressure to not want to write their names down (assuming they care about being laughed at) and/or typically just don't give enough of a shit to bother unless they're already running super low (e.g. sidoh). considering the fact that gelus was busy watching misa all the time, and that his lifespan was essentially quartered by the end, it doesn't seem too unrealistic to me to think that he wasn't exactly giving her a whole lot. they also don't seem to have any way of knowing, in exact terms, just how much life they or other shinigami have left, since their lifespan counters are not revealed by their eyes like human lifespans are, so if a shinigami isn’t paying a whole lot of attention it may be easy to let it trickle down a lot without realizing.

the bigger question here is perhaps rem, who dies by writing watari & L's names, yes, but also writes down the name of one of higuchi's victims while in the car with misa to help convince him that she's the second KIRA, meaning that she has at least the remains of one human lifespan to hand over to misa right at the end of the story...

obviously though, a lot of this is just speculation since we never actually know how much time either shinigami had (and perhaps they didn't even know themselves, considering again that they can only see human lifespans). misa definitely could've had a super long lifespan and lived long past an ordinary human lifespan, exactly as you say. in the manga canon specifically, we never actually see her in-story again and her "confirmed" death date is only something from vol. 13, which has somewhat questionable information that at the very least isn't explicitly depicted in the canon of the story itself.

(reason number 5 billion why that "random woman," at the end of the series should totally be misa because i mean come. on. the woman whose whole thing is living past when she should've died, living for [x] stupidly long time to lead some mystery KIRA cult in the mountains??? obha, what the fuck. it's right there.)

wait so soichiro died a day after getting the eyes. so does that mean he only had two days left to live??? 😱

Ooookay, so this one is a very common claim/theory. The same applies to the, MIsa committed suicide a year after the manga ended, meaning people think that's how many years she got from Gelus and Rem combined as well as halving twice. Personally, I find that unlikely. I'll get to Soichiro, but I'm going to use Misa as the main example for the followiong rant:

It sounds like Shinigami don't bothering writing down names often, meaning they're generally okay on remaining years. They could write the names of two humans and have like, nearly two hundred years added to their lifespan. Only Shinigami we've ever seen worried about running out is Sidoh. Gelus we only knew for five seconds, but Rem never seems to say or do anything indicating that she is lacking in years. So here is my little equation that is likely wrong because I am tired right now:

In my personal opinion, despite halving her lifespan twice, I think Misa had the potential to live for an extremely long time, possibly even way past the average lifespan of a normal human. But she killed herself. And that's where the big question about free will and destiny come in. How much do humans actually control? Was it a coincidence the Misa's scheduled death was going to be at the hands of a stalker who planned a murder-suicide? Or was it somehow destined and predetermined that this man would grow obsessed with Misa to the point he ends both of their lives?

Criminals are dropping dead at alarming rates, and it is very much NOT NORMAL. It can only be the work of a person somehow causing these deaths. There was not supposed to be a sudden, random wave of criminal deaths. This only occurred because Ryuk dropped a Death Note and Light Yagami picked it up. With this, we can say with certainty that humans have free will and deaths that were not supposed to happen can occur if people interfere. Not to mention that Shinigami take years from humans who had remaining years, so they are messing with how lifespans and whatnot are supposed to naturally work.

So Light Yagami caused deaths that were never supposed to happen via his choices/actions. He killed them with the Death Note, which was never supposed to be involved. And this is the same question that is raised when we consider Soichiro Yagami—and even Mello, for that matter. Mello likely never would've joined the mafia and done all this crazy dangerous stuff, Soichiro likely never would have gone into a dangerous raid at his age, if it weren't for the presence of the Death Note.

So did Soichiro Yagami canonically have two days to live? The answer is that there is no way of actually knowing. In my personal opinion, the answer is no.

[blueseakelp]

i know dreams aren’t real, but how am i supposed to come back from the way people are in them?

[darkcrowprincess]

I'm a complicated woman. Sometimes I want platonic fluff with found family. And other times I want toxic yaoi romance with my two favorite robins.

(Don't like don't read. Post hate and I'll block you!)

[dear-ao3]

life is so much more fun when you suspend your disbelief

[konigsblog]

i love that ugly, freakish pervert (creep!loser!könig)

(+ headcannons in the tags (content warning though))

[suusoh]

I think a lot of people seem hesitant to write about Johan Liebert, believing there’s a need to portray him "accurately" or "seriously" or else don't write him at all.

This fear is completely valid and understandable of course; experiencing it myself. Most works in the "x reader" section tend to lean heavily toward psychological thriller and suspense, all crafted with such skill and depth with downright the most beautiful writing style ever. (can you tell I want to inject these fics right into my veins.)

I absolutely fucking LOVE these. Okay? let's establish that. I eat up these works every time, they clear my skin and water my crops.

What saddens me a bit is to think that starting out writers who read these fics, instead of getting inspired by such beautiful works, accidentally intimidate themselves out of writing for Johan because they think that is the standard of what a Johan fic should look like. I suspect many aspiring writers believe they need to meet certain "requirements" before they can write about Monster or Johan.

It's easy to think that you have to read countless analysis posts on monster, watch the series dozens of times, or have a good grasp in psychology and philosophy before you're allowed to write about him (guilty ✋️).

While it’s beneficial to understand a character well, I've noticed an underlying sense of "perfectionism" found within the fandom, creating this sort of cycle:

-> Look at the Johan/Monster tag: You see no "bad" or "inaccurate" fanfics—only well-written ones. -> Try to write for Johan: You feel your work will never match the quality or accuracy of what's already out there, so you hesitate to share it. -> Avoid uploading your fanfics: you think your work is "inaccurate," so you might as well not upload it. Someone might even bash you for it.

And then the loop begins at the top again. Breeding the idea that only meticulously researched, serious fics are worthy of uploading. I believe these amazing fics should be a source of inspiration to you to share your own stories instead of holding back. I doubt the authors of those fantastic pieces want anyone to feel intimidated. In fact, I'm sure that they, along with many readers, would likely LOVE to see a selection of variety and creativity in the fandom.

It's good to be cautious of your characterization, great even. It means you've at least put in the work right? But you shouldn't let the fear of making something "untrue" to Johan's character stop you entirely. It might help to look at certain fanfics as a way to guide you, but not to set strict laws on yourself. He’s meant to be an enigma, a puzzle to interpret in various ways. For example, one author might say he enjoys tea, while another might explain he prefers blue Gatorade in their story. The beauty of writing him lies in these interpretations!

( Also there are people on platforms like TikTok and YouTube using Johan as a mascot for the "sigma male manipulator". Writing Johan x reader going on a cute date as a little treat for himself with his newfound humanity is absolutely fair game at this point 💀 )

Numerous serious fandoms, like Sherlock, Hannibal, or Dexter, have their share of fluff and unserious fics that don’t delve deeply into character analysis. Yet they’re written, uploaded, and enjoyed by the community.

Fandom and fanfic writing should be a space and a chance for you to experiment and indulge in your creativity. That's what everyone is doing here, it's not a competition for "best writing". You shouldn't feel any pressure to write for anyone else but yourself and write what you wish to read. If anything, I'm pretty sure all the johan peeps are begging to have more people write, eating up any sort of writing like the dogs we are. woof woof bitchh!

You might think that your fanfic about Johan running away to join the circus is stupid, but somewhere out there is someone waiting to find and read a fic of Johan running away to join the circus.

[fizzytoo]

amaya and karlee settle into chestnut ridge smoothly. karlee's living with amaya temporarily, choosing to staying close to her sibling while also figuring out her place in the world. just two kids miles away from their childhood in sulani…

[flowing-between-space]

Answering my own prompt:

It's 3:56 PM, and I want to be in my living room eating your pussy while you lie on the couch reading a book. You're wearing a cute little outfit that gives me perfect access to your pussy without having to take anything off. The only catch is that you have to read your book out loud to me, and if you stop, then I stop. Want to keep feeling my warm, wet tongue glide up and down your pussy and circle around your clit? Then keep reading. Want to feel me suck your clit up between my lips and gently slide them back and forth over it? Then keep reading. If you're good, I may even slip a finger or two inside your tight little pussy and make you feel nice and full while I suck on your clit. Deal?

[kyouka-supremacy]

Honestly don't make Ryuunosuke choose between Gin and Atsushi in your sskk fics because he's always going to choose Gin

[frankthesnek]

Homelander and Deep cuddled up on the couch with Deep using his cape as a blanket.

Would this ever happen? No. But its cute as hell to think about!

[cherry-treelane]

everytime i feel bad and stressed about my life i remember that i might be in a troubling situation and having a bad time but im not season 4 fiona gallagher in the clink after leaving crack on the counter which my 3 year old baby brother happened to ingest resulting in a fatal near-death experience thats wracked me with never-ending guilt and forever altered my life

[dukeofthomas]

BTAS Batman feels like a normal human who's really trained and skilled and manages to pull off amazing feats

Comics Batman just feels like a superpowered human

[iirulancorrino]

Movies that attempt something different, that recognize that less can indeed be more, are thus easily taken to task. “It’s so subjective!” and “It omits a crucial P.O.V.!” are assumed to be substantive criticisms rather than essentially value-neutral statements. We are sometimes told, in matters of art and storytelling, that depiction is not endorsement; we are not reminded nearly as often that omission is not erasure. But because viewers of course cannot be trusted to know any history or muster any empathy on their own — and if anything unites those who criticize “Oppenheimer” on representational grounds, it’s their reflexive assumption of the audience’s stupidity — anything that isn’t explicitly shown onscreen is denigrated as a dodge or an oversight, rather than a carefully considered decision. A film like “Oppenheimer” offers a welcome challenge to these assumptions. Like nearly all Nolan’s movies, from “Memento” to “Dunkirk,” it’s a crafty exercise in radical subjectivity and narrative misdirection, in which the most significant subjects — lost memories, lost time, lost loves — often are invisible and all the more powerful for it. We can certainly imagine a version of “Oppenheimer” that tossed in a few startling but desultory minutes of Japanese destruction footage. Such a version might have flirted with kitsch, but it might well have satisfied the representational completists in the audience. It also would have reduced Hiroshima and Nagasaki to a piddling afterthought; Nolan treats them instead as a profound absence, an indictment by silence. That’s true even in one of the movie’s most powerful and contested sequences. Not long after news of Hiroshima’s destruction arrives, Oppenheimer gives a would-be-triumphant speech to a euphoric Los Alamos crowd, only for his words to turn to dust in his mouth. For a moment, Nolan abandons realism altogether — but not, crucially, Oppenheimer’s perspective — to embrace a hallucinatory horror-movie expressionism. A piercing scream erupts in the crowd; a woman’s face crumples and flutters, like a paper mask about to disintegrate. The crowd is there and then suddenly, with much sonic rumbling, image blurring and an obliterating flash of white light, it is not. For “Oppenheimer’s” detractors, this sequence constitutes its most grievous act of erasure: Even in the movie’s one evocation of nuclear disaster, the true victims have been obscured and whitewashed. The absence of Japanese faces and bodies in these visions is indeed striking. It’s also consistent with Nolan’s strict representational parameters, and it produces a tension, even a contradiction, that the movie wants us to recognize and wrestle with. Is Oppenheimer trying (and failing) to imagine the hundreds of thousands of Japanese civilians murdered by the weapon he devised? Or is he envisioning some hypothetical doomsday scenario still to come? I think the answer is a blur of both, and also something more: In this moment, one of the movie’s most abstract, Nolan advances a longer view of his protagonist’s history and his future. Oppenheimer’s blindness to Japanese victims and survivors foreshadows his own stubborn inability to confront the consequences of his actions in years to come. He will speak out against nuclear weaponry, but he will never apologize for the atomic bombings of Japan — not even when he visits Tokyo and Osaka in 1960 and is questioned by a reporter about his perspective now. “I do not think coming to Japan changed my sense of anguish about my part in this whole piece of history,” he will respond. “Nor has it fully made me regret my responsibility for the technical success of the enterprise.” Talk about compartmentalization. That episode, by the way, doesn’t find its way into “Oppenheimer,” which knows better than to offer itself up as the last word on anything. To the end, Nolan trusts us to seek out and think about history for ourselves. If we elect not to, that’s on us.

[no-brain-just-good-omens]

I love making up and acting out my silly little scenarios in my head. I know nobody’s going to tell me on my birthday that as my present they’ll pay for my first appointment of gender-affirming healthcare, but I now know exactly how I’d react if they did!

[leliwardens]

very much wait and see for da4 but really thinking anything city elf kinda died with wewh and briala huh