#and no he won’t share with you
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chill sunday vibes
#i had every intention of being productive today but binx has other plans#chill sunday#with my fav boy#personal#my face#selfie#me#and no he won’t share with you#cat
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Kabru has a secret admirer in the castle!
#running from my responsibilities (drawing armour) by imagining post canon Kabru fashion#minor spoilers in the tags!#royal advisor Kabru’s office is probably overflowing with gifts from foreign dignitaries eyeing him up for marriage#and sacks of perfumed letters from Melini citizens#Marcille would be so sick of it#Laios also has his fair share of proposals#Yaad is like … boys spare us all and pick a suitable candidate already#well Yaad there’s a saying that goes two birds one stone#anyway lol#someone might have suggested to Laios ‘hey Kabru works so hard. you should show your appreciation.’#Laios (blushing sweating): uuuh how do i do that#Marcille probably: i hear it’s customary to give your royal advisor flowers the same colour as their beautiful blue eyes#Laios: well if you say so#but he starts having second thoughts bcs what if the gift is too romantic#so then Laios is like oh i know i just won’t sign it (:#fool proof plan Laios good job#totally not taking into account that Kabru can recognize his penmanship at a first glance#so at their next meeting Kabru is like ‘i wonder who my secret admirer in the castle is 😉’#and Laios sweats so hard he falls out of his throne#doesn’t Kabru of Melini have a nice ring to it#better yet …. Kabru Touden#much to consider#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#kabru#kabru of utaya#labru#if you squint#wasabi doodles
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having insane brainrot about ex-ghost and you bought something back when you were together that has no refunds like a vacation or a concert where you can’t manage to get anyone to buy your ticket. you think there’s no way he’d come after you blocked him on everything, but your stomach drops when you see his big ass frame across the queue line for the venue or at the same airport gate as you with his boarding pass in hand, staring right back at you…oh i’m freakin it 😵💫😵💫😵💫
I had this stored in my inbox for ages because I was hoping to be inspired enough to write for it but alas it never happened 😢 but oh Christ ex husband Ghost is just on another level altogether. Ex-husband Price might’ve played the game and let you have your stupid divorce because he knew you’d come back to him eventually, needing him to help you out (or manufacturing situations to have you relying on him for help), but ex-husband Ghost is another beast entirely. Whatever paperwork you send gets binned immediately. He’ll use it for kindling if he has to. And god forbid you sent it by courier.
He’s still showing up at the airport for your vacation even though you called him and begged him to just let you go alone. He hummed on the phone, sounding distracted like usual (he’s not one for phone calls; he might like the sound of your voice, but he doesn’t particularly care for his), so you assumed he’d acquiesce, but then you show up to the airport and he’s got a duffel bag slung over his shoulder and his passport in hand.
#probably plies you with liquor at the airport bar so you won’t complain too much when he shoves his hand down your pants on the flight#never mind the fact that you told him that you aren’t putting out on this trip because it’s not a couples trip#you’re just going on separate vacations together#and sharing a hotel room and a bed#I love my stupid idiot reader girl
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that tweet that’s like every part of you/habit you have is just little pieces of the people who have come into your life is so yuuta and his copycat behavior in noncurse au is just him stealing your stuff. he starts using the same shampoo as you after you let him borrow yours once. in a tired stumble in the morning he’s dragging your house slippers into the kitchen and doesn’t even realize they’re many sizes too small and his heels are on the floor until after he’s had his coffee and you point it out to him, and the very next day he comes over he’s got the same pair you do, just in blue, and he tucks them neatly next to yours after he showers. megumi compliments the candle yuuta has burning in his apartment when he visits and yuuta hums, thanking him and mentioning that you have the same one. you ask him if he has an chapstick after you’ve finished your lunch and you’re surprised when he hands you a tiny tube identical to your favorite brand and flavor, because it’s now his favorite brand and flavor. it gets to a point where the contents of his apartment, his bag, his life exactly mirror yours because to him that’s love
#something something being one undistinguisable being is also love#this is where he’s equal but opposite from gojo bc gojo starts buying things he likes For you#and also leaving his things around for you to use and start to like and hopefully steak#*steal lol#i think yuuta tries to steal your things too and if you call him out he just gives you the bambi boy eyes and is like won’t u share with me#whatever. WHATEVER!#omg where’s my drabble about yuuta in aritzia sweatpants
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Iida trapping you into a quirk marriage with him because he’s truly in love with you but you don’t even want to look at him……
#I’m imagining…. sitting down after the ink has dried on the contract. first day in your new home.#clock filling the silence as the two of you sit across from each other at the kitchen table.#he’s suggested that you two lay down ground rules. boundaries. lines you won’t cross.#for your sake you think. because you’ve voiced your discontent with this LOUDLY and frequently. but also for his.#he writes them all down in his perfect script. mostly you bring up petty things. don’t bother you during breakfast or when you’re#out at the nail salon. an exorbitant monthly allowance. you push for things you don’t even want. just to test him.#to your surprise he gives it all up. only adding a few caveats to your demands. there will be a tracker on your phone. you will message him#before you leave the house each day. you won’t ever try to lose the gaurds again. ‘and please don’t attack them. they’re just doing their#jobs.’ he puts down the pen reading the contract over. then with practiced nonchalance adds. ‘oh yes. and we’ll be sharing a bed.’
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You know what I find so funny? That I’ve come across a lot of people on TikTok that have something against this one account that posts pjo content. I do too, I mean I got into an argument with them because they kept saying percabeth is strained because annabeth made Percy feel suicidal. And I ended up blocking them because they made a story saying that percabeth shippers need to calm down in their comment section because we’re crazy or something like that. And I just wanted to scream like this isn’t because you don’t ship percabeth, it’s because you constantly bash annabeth, unintentionally but prominently make Percy this stupid victim that can’t feel for himself, and think pereyna and Perachel had better development (not to bash pereyna or Perachel shippers, but in canon, this is just obviously not true). And I thought I was the only one who had something against this person but now people are speaking up about it I guess and I think it’s so funny because I’ve BEEN having problems with them.
#anyways#thanks for reading my rant#I didn’t name this person but their username still haunts me#I won’t get into an argument if you don’t ship percabeth or if you don’t like Annabeth#but when you misinterpret evrrything(*cough cough* make things up) just to feel validated for hating her then we got a problem#because at the same time you’re mischaracterizing Percy so much#and it’s like youre really contradicting yourself by saying he deserved better but then blatantly not understanding his character#like no you shouldn’t be talking about knowing what a character needs when you clearly didn’t even understand the character at all#sorry#the rage from the argument I had with them came back to me#pjo#percy jackson#percy jackson and the olympians#annabeth chase#heroes of olympus#hoo#anti annabeth antis#anti percabeth antis#you can not ship it but being anti it??#get away from me#antis ruin the vibe#percabeth#anti annabeth bashing#rant#pjo rant#pjo tiktok#there’s also this other creator on tt that has millions of followers but has made so many videos explaining how Annabeth is the weakest#and not powerful#and it’s like why are you so eager and loud about sharing that and letting everyone know that#like duh she has no powers but he constantly brings it up and it got annoying
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Mars i fear i may be dying of the plague. I have coughed blood into my sink twice now and my throat feels like I gave really aggressive oral to a scrubdaddy spongue.
Do you have any priest au thoughts/scenarios/rambles to sooth a troublde lad such as mysrlf🙏🙏
hemo. as a guy who has also coughed up blood somewhat recently. it may be time to go to an urgent care and make sure it’s nothing serious. there’s a pretty nasty pneumonia going around rn and if that IS what it is the sooner you get those antibiotics the faster you’ll recover.
as for priest au stuffs: the election kinda killed my creative flow (we’re ballin but we’re stressed) BUT i’ve been trying to flesh out hajime’s backstory a bit for the the past few days so here’s some bullet point brainstorming on that :D
check under the cut for the goods, as per usual ^_^ tw for mentions of child abuse, and also a general warning for priest au-typical horny talk and homophobia
i’ve been thinking abt hajime’s childhood/past a lot, partially bc i don’t feel fully confident writing him until i have the details of his backstory fleshed out. i think his dad was more of the aggressive “no son of mine” type of homophobic, where his mom was more of the “hate the sin love the sinner” type of homophobic. it’s cliché maybe but like. traditional catholic family values yanno. his family does differ from traditional catholicism in one way though: hajime is an only child.
i don’t think hajime was ever The Manliest Man growing up. yeah he was strong from helping on the farm, but he never felt the need to flaunt his masculine attributes. he never wanted to impress girls, he never initiated an arm-wrestling contest, and once he hit teenagerhood he quit wrestling with his friends altogether. when his friends asked him why he never roughhouses with them anymore, he tensed up and mumbled something about it being “weird” and “immature.”
he showed a lot of delicacy towards nature as well, a trait he carries into adulthood! rescuing turtles from roads, gently rehoming bugs, taking care not to step on wildflowers, that sort of thing. he was teased for this growing up :( he’d be compared to a disney princess and the like or just be called a pussy for Caring About The World Around Him. while he still loves nature and knows there’s nothing wrong with that, he does get embarrassed if his gentleness is pointed out— he’s anticipating some sort of reprimand.
been trying to think about hajime’s gay awakening. i imagine once he hit puberty he started having vague… thoughts. they weren’t attached to anyone but he kept it secret anyways since Lust Is A Sin and Masturbation Is A Sin Too and he’s not interested in growing hair on his palms or going blind (he later finds out that those are myths, but for now he heeds the tales), nor is he interested in the scolding he would get from his parents if they found out. from there we have two main options as i see it.
option A: in a parallel of the magazine he finds in Jabberwock, teen!hajime comes across some sort of gay porn. it’s completely accidental— he finds a mag or some other paraphernalia in a log or something, opens it, Realizes what is is, looks around for witnesses, and quickly stuffs it into his jacket. he’s not even sure why, but he knows he’s curious. as soon as he gets home he hides it between his mattress and his bedframe, and that night, when he’s sure his parents are asleep, he grabs a flashlight and starts to look through it. he doesn’t understand why he’s so fascinated until he realizes: he’s breathing heavily, hot in the face, absentmindedly rubbing his thighs together, and, most incriminatingly of all, he’s the hardest he’s ever been in his life. mortified, he shoves the magazine back under his mattress and tries his best to forget about what he saw, tossing and turning as he tries to calm down and go to sleep.
option B: hajime is really close with one of his peers. they’re childhood friends, and they’ve gotten along great forever. at some point, though, hajime starts feeling weird around him. not BAD weird, but… he’s nervous, and his skin seems to buzz whenever they touch, and his heart flutters when he makes his friend laugh, and… he can’t make sense of it all. not until he wakes up one night from a particularly vivid dream, chest heaving, skin covered in a thin sheen of sweat, and his sheets soiled with the evidence of his subconscious sin. he realizes what’s going on, and his heart sinks into his stomach. he does his best to ignore it, but it haunts him.
we could also combine these options and say both of these things happen, but idk yet. i like the loneliness of the porn but i also like the guilt of having to talk to your close friend and pretend you aren’t feeling confusing and frightening things for them.
hajime lives at home until his early adulthood, when he is Caught. if we went with option A for his awakening, then he comes home one day to find The Porn sitting on the kitchen table, its pages now crinkled from years of viewing, and his heart sinks into his stomach. he’s not sure how they found it— maybe his mom was cleaning his room and lifted his mattress? but it doesn’t matter— they Know now, and he has no way to explain himself.
if we go with option B, hajime is caught with that “good friend” of his. he had snuck in via hajime’s bedroom window, at a time they both were sure hajime’s parents would be asleep. unfortunately, hajime’s dad comes up to his room (hajime never learns the original intent of this visit) and opens the door to find his son, hair and clothes a mess, with the neighbor boy straddling his thighs, hands clearly paused in the middle of lifting up his son’s shirt. it’s silent for a bit, and the tension in the air is so heavy hajime feels like he can barely breathe. still, he breaks out of the stupor first, muttering a quiet “you need to go” to his friend without breaking eye contact with his father. the friend gets the message and bolts, leaving via the same window he came from. hajime is now alone with his father, so guilty and scared that he feels nauseous.
regardless of which of these events occurs, the outcome is the same. hajime’s father responds first, yelling and berating. hajime is terrified— he’s seen his dad mad, but never like this. never shouting obscenities and vile words at him. when told to explain himself hajime stumbles over his words, eventually landing on some variant of “i don’t know.” eventually, his father decides words aren’t punishment enough, and hajime gets the shit beat out of him for the first time in his life. he tries to defend himself, but he’s never been much of a fighter, and he doesn’t want to hit his dad, self defense or not. when his father finally storms off, his mother comes near, her eyes brimming with tears. she holds her arms out to hajime, tells her baby to come here. hajime, aching and bruised and perhaps with a freshly broken nose, collapses into his mother’s arms, silently crying into her shoulder as she pets his hair. she holds him close, rocking them from side to side, before she speaks. “oh, hajime, darling,” she starts, voice thick with tears and love, “i’m sorry. we’ve failed you, haven’t we? that’s why you’re doing this to us.” hajime’s stomach curdles at those words, and he quickly excuses himself, washing the blood off his face in the bathroom sink before he locks himself in his room.
regardless of the guilt he carries— he knew he was sinning, after all— hajime knows he is no longer safe at home. his father had never beat him like that before, and he doesn’t know that he would be able to walk away if it happened again. he doesn’t want to leave his mother, but he could tell that she was disgusted by him, too, her words still echoing in his mind. so, hajime packs as many of his things as he can fit into his suitcase, and the next day he leaves town, never letting himself look back. he job hops for a bit before he manages to get his house in Jabberwock— he got really, really lucky with the price of the property.
hajime hasn’t talked to anyone from his hometown since he left, and while he still has his parents’ landline number memorized, he doesn’t dare call. his dad’s probably disowned him, anyhow. sometimes he wonders how the people he grew up with are doing, but he can’t bring himself to go back. it’s not home anymore.
#ask#hemo#priest au#come get your lore dump! this time it’s Sad Mode#do heed that tw though. i get a little intense in this one#sorry hajime i keep putting you through the wringer. in my defense it’s compelling as shit#poor guy…. bruised and bloodied and shaking like a battered shelter dog#i like how a backstory like this sets up hajime’s personality. he was taught to be disgusted by himself#and he knows for a fact that letting word get out about his sin leads only to pain#so of course he’s secretive and self-loathing and all that jazz. of course he’s easy to manipulate#it also makes the church an even greater place of refuge for him#bc for one. father komaeda is going to Save him. he won’t need to be disgusted#and secondly. a church is safe and sacred. father komaeda won’t let anyone hurt him. he’s not in danger there#i also wanna draw some level of parallel between hajime’s father and Father Komaeda. partially bc of the shared title#and partially as a reference to the catholic family power structure and how that applies to other dynamics as well :]#i think it’d be fun if komaeda raises a hand to put on hajime’s shoulder and hajime Flinches. that’s yum#anywho hope this was satisfactory. feel better soon hemo get urself a cough drop
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My post about Anya is making like a little ruckus on Twitter and I think it’s crazy how many people like have a problem with it.
Like you don’t have to agree with how I characterize Anya and her actions but it’s more like, why are you focused on only one aspect of her character? Why are you removing nuance from the situation? I don’t see it as giving Curly the benefit of the doubt when it comes to doing better for Anya, but as exploring his character and hers relationship with a the very little authentic facts we get about them. In truth, there’s a lot more I wish Curly did, even if it wasn’t pragmatic but I realize the issue there.
The first psychological horror game in a while that’s real intricate in its storytelling and makes you need to really need to address the morality of intentions and its already getting torn asunder smh 😔
#I don’t know if it’s the case of people who hate curly and think he should’ve just killed Jimmy won’t accept anything else#but I really am trying to get the idea that they were stuck for over a year in space together on a ship barely kept together with wildly#different and conflicting personalities who also got more hostile because they know they are going home to unemployment#it sounds heartless to say and he should have prioritized her more but in his head that’s not the only thing he has to manage and he has to#fit the necessary actions to take in his head with all that including his perception of them as a friend vs as a boss#idk I just don’t believe Curly was comforting Jimmy with the intent of helping him get rid of Anya. he wanted to help both of them he went#about it horribly like the game is literally about realizing how misguided you can be and that responsibility#and how to be responsible look different even if there are better options like it’s just weird just block my ass dawg#also I think the argument of how could the situation be worse if he stopped Jimmy is stupid cause it’s under the guise that Curly would#assume someone he trusted would just try and commit murder suicide or he’d get degloved and all his crew directly#or indirectly killed by that friend like sorry if that’s a reach statement like adding#your supplementary thoughts is how analysis is born but adding facts about events we don’t know happened and treating them like character#truths is lame is a cop out from actually engaging with parts of the story that adds grey areas to characters you wants to see in black#this is just a stupid like thing to me but it makes me sad cause I don’t even hate seeing depictions of Curly as more aware and#accommodating to Jimmy purposely but I need you to understand he thought he was doing the right thing for both his friends and his closest#friend but the key point is he thought he was doing right for both of them like what game were we both watching???#mouthwashing#like just block me pls like Anya would not share ur mindset or hold ur hand like do more than just pity her if you like her so much
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I recently learned how to make video clips into gifs. This is what I’ve chosen to do with that knowledge.
#Kirby#Kirby Star Allies#Taransusie#Taranza#Susie Kirby#Susie Haltmann#I love that he’s shorter than her so he has to float up a bit so their faces can meet lmao#some of the face to face/kissing animations look a bit silly because of the height difference between characters#every time I play a Kirby game where you can do this I think of that meme of Kirby kissing the Poppy Bro#I won’t share it here but you know which one I’m talking about lmao#I’ll have to make more gifs of Star Allies maybe I’ll make some of the title screen animations
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Part two of the thing and uuh also final one
Of this interaction. Because this is far from all I can give, my brain almost imploded from all the ideas
#after some very heated talks between the two brothers Vash said he would leave the house for a good time#suggesting they both needed time apart and Vash needed to learn how to live without Kni#very reluctantly Kni agreed (even if he didn’t V would have done it anyways) with the single condition of letting him know the general#details about his livings. the adress. who he was living with if he decided to room with someone and at least their phone number in case#of an emergency. Vash agreed to this and put the limit there bc Kni wanted to know more but he said no I won’t tell you about their life tf#WW who is comfortable living at the orphanage doesn’t find convenient commuting for over 2 hours everyday to get there#so he is looking for a place to stay. Vash mentioned wanting to share a rental home w someone to split the spendings#and so the stars aligned and they were already planning their moving four days after meeting each other#because that’s Vashwood for you#imagine the delight of being either WW or Kni and finding out about each other thanks to Vash again#neither of them want to tell Vash about what they think of each ither. Kni to keep some sort of face and ‘peace’ with his brother#and WW doesn’t want to leave a bad impression saying he was the cause that the brother of the guy he was planning to live with couldn’t see#with his right eye for a whole week. so they hate their guts and Vash doesn’t know the why though he can grasp a general idea.#but he always hits bullseye making both WW and Kni glance at each other silently with their eyes saying#“DID YOU TELL HIM?’’ ‘’DID-YOU-TELL HIM??’’#trigun#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun stampede#vashwood#trigun fanart#vash#wolfwood#nicholas trigun#nai saverem#millions knives#Trigun Uni! AU#lenssi draws
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#people are gonna be big mad when I say this so I’m hiding it in tags#lmao if you’re still a Ziam I love you I respect you and just… stop reading now lol for your health okay?#or unfollow and block me whatever just… CURATE YOUR EXPERIENCE IS WHAT IM TRYING TO SAY#but the DIFFERENCE between how Zayn talks about his daughter#versus…. well I mean do I even have to say it lmao#I’m watching the Zach Sang interview and it is freaking WILD#W I L D#and I just think people should maybe use critical thinking skills and wonder why that is#and! and! Zayn and Gigi have done a fabulous job drawing boundaries about what they will and won’t share#so don’t come at me with oh but Louis needs to be private#or some of that nonsense#because at no point does Zayn say things that really cross that line?#he just…. he talks like an actual dad#and I’m sorry I know no one cares and we’re in this and it doesn’t matter#but the difference - if someone actually cared to look and listen?#the difference is astonishing in my opinion#anyway#ignore this lol
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I love how during the Madison Square Garden performance of Dazed and Confused, you don’t realize until about halfway through that Jimmy has been summoning demons with his guitar, when Robert starts vocally exorcising them from his body
#this version is a cinematic religious cosmic experience#and I really love in the footage when you can see the moment bonzo and jonesy are trying to figure jimmy’s improv out#i want to share this with my friend whom I’ve made a zep playlist for#but idk if he’s ready for it yet#this is like a final boss of a zeppelin song#and i won’t have it slandered#led zeppelin#robert plant#jimmy page#john paul jones#john bonham
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making all the tv teachers share one single small cake for their birthday
#I would hate to share a birthday with Warren#Watch them fight for it like animals#Poor tv teachers and their shared birthday#Choo choo won’t get any cake he’s too old to eat solid food#I’m so sorry I can’t create art for you Coffin…#:(#dhmis#don’t hug me i’m scared#shitpost#dont hug me im shit posting#dhmis teachers#coffinz inzane hourz of inzanity!!!
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how my parents feel after always reminding me how much better my older brother is than me
#seriously i remember when my mom flat out said ‘he’s smarter than you’#like i know that already lol?#they won’t shut up about him#had a good old break down last night realizing that i’m never gonna be my parents pride and jou the same way he is#they seriously brag about him wherever he goes#‘oh he’s in an ivy!!111!!”#and then i’m just in the damn background because my younger brother is a freshman in HS and he’s having it rough#so my own issues are resolved by ‘get over it’ or ‘oh well you’re motivated at least’#i’m not fucking motivated i just want to prove i’m just as good#or even a fraction as good#i’ll never be enough though#the mere fact my mom was considering canceling going to see the outsiders w/me because my brother has off that weekend and she’d rather go#see him kinda shows that#keep in mind we’re seeing him in two weeks and we’re going up literally the next weekend to see him#and they keep talking scour how they can’t wait until i’m in college#i can’t say anything to them though because they’ll get mad and tell me i’m being overdramatic#it feels like they want to get rid of me or smth#it hurts#a lot#i feel like i don’t have anyone because i can’t complain to my parents because i’m overshadowed by both my brothers#and i don’t know how to communicate my feelings without being a burden or sharing too much#i just feel lost#vent#sibling rivalry
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Kingdom of Ash Chapter 59
Chapter; Highlights
His ears still rang with the din of battle, his breath a rasping beat echoed by Aelin.
Atop the blood-slick battlements, their allies and companions around them, Rowan wordlessly passed Aelin the waterskin. She drank deeply, then handed it to Fenrys.
An unleashing and release. That's what the battle had been for his mate.
Hasar at last looked Aelin over. "I heard you put on a show today."
Rowan braced himself.
Aelin turned from the battlefield and inclined her head. "You look as if you did, too." Indeed, Hasar's ornate armor was splattered with black blood. She'd been in the thick of it, atop her Muniqi horse, and had ridden right up to the gates. But the princess made no further comment.
Irritation, deep and nearly hidden, flashed in Aelin's eyes. Yet she didn't speak again-didn't push the princess about their next steps. She just watched the battlefield once more, chewing on her lip.
She'd barely stopped during the battle, halting only when there had been no more Valg left to kill. And in the minutes since the walls had been cleared, she'd remained quiet— distant. As if she was still climbing out of that calm, calculating place she'd descended into while fighting. She hadn't bothered to remove any of her armor. The bronze battle-crown was caked with blood, her hair matted with it.
Chaol's father had taken one look at her armor, at Rowan's, and gone white with rage.
For now. They had bigger things to consider. Things that drove his mate to gnaw on her lip. When Prince Kashin's army might arrive, if they would indeed head northward to Terrasen. If today had been enough to win them over.
"Any nearby are to run here. Those farthest out will have to flee for the forest." Rowan met Aelin's stare. Her hands began shaking.
This cannot end here, she seemed to say.
Panic—panic indeed flared in her eyes. Rowan gripped her trembling hand and squeezed.
But there was no truth or lie that might soothe her. No truth or lie to save the army on the plain.
Something had gone wrong. Something was wrong.
The battlefield stretched into the distance, healers darting amongst the felled bodies with white banners high to indicate their locations. So many. So many dead and wounded. A sea of them.
Elide reached Chaol's side just as Nesryn Faliq leaped atop her beautiful ruk, launching into a dive for the army below. No-the other ruks.
Elide laid a hand on Lord Chaol's shoulder, drawing his attention from where he watched Nesryn fly off. Blood-splattered, but his bronze eyes were clear. And full of terror.
Any message that Yrene had given Elide faded from her memory. "What's wrong?"
It was Aelin who answered, her bloodied armor strange and ancient. A vision of old. "The dam is going to break," the queen said hoarsely. "And wipe away anyone on the plain."
Oh gods. Oh gods.
Elide glanced between them, and knew the answer to her next question: What can be done?
Nothing.
Ruks took to the skies, flapping toward them, soldiers in their talons and clinging to their backs.
"Has anyone warned the healers?" Elide pointed to the white banners waving so far out into the plain. "The Healer on High?" Hafiza was down there, Yrene had said.
Silence. Then Prince Sartaq swore in his own tongue, and sprinted for his golden ruk. He was spearing for the battlefield within seconds, his shouts ringing out. Kadara dipped every few moments, and when she rose again, another small figure was in her talons. Healers. Grabbing as many of them as he could.
Elide whirled to her companions as soldiers began running for the keep, trampling corpse and injured alike. Orders went out in the language of the southern continent, and more soldiers on the battlefield leaped into action.
"What elsewhat else can we do?" Elide demanded. Aelin and Rowan only stared toward the battlefield, watching with Fenrys and Gavriel as the ruks raced to save as many as they could. Behind them, Princess Hasar paced, and Chaol and his father murmured about where they might fit everyone in the keep. Those who survived.
Elide looked at them again. Looked at all of them.
And then asked quietly, "Where is Lorcan?" None of them turned. Elide asked, louder, "Where is Lorcan?" Gavriel's tawny eyes scanned hers, confusion dancing there. "He ... he went out onto the battlefield during the fighting. I saw him just before the khagan's troops reached him."
"Where is he?" Elide's voice broke. Fenrys faced her now. Then Rowan and Aelin. Elide begged, voice breaking, "Where is Lorcan?" From their stunned silence, she knew they hadn't so much as wondered.
Elide whirled to the battlefield. To that endless stretch of fallen bodies. Soldiers fleeing. Many of the wounded being abandoned where they lay. So many bodies. So, so many soldiers down there.
"Where." No one answered. Elide pointed toward the battlefield and snarled at Gavriel, "Where did you see him join with the khagan's forces?"
"Nearly on the other side of the field," Gavriel answered, voice strained, and pointed across the plain. "I—I didn't see him after that."
"Shit," Fenrys breathed.
Rowan said to him, "Use your magic. Jump to the field, find him, and bring him back."
Relief crumpled Elide's chest.
Until Fenrys said, "I can't."
"You didn't use it once during the battle," Rowan challenged. "You should be fully primed to do it."
Fenrys blanched beneath the blood on his face, and cast pleading eyes to Elide. "I can't."
Silence fell on the battlements.
Then Rowan growled, "You won't." He pointed with a bloody finger to the battlefield.
"You'd let him die, and for what? Aelin forgave him." His tattoo scrunched as he snarled again.
"Save him."
Fenrys swallowed. But Aelin said, "Leave it, Rowan." Rowan snarled at her too. She snarled right back. "Leave it."
Some unspoken conversation passed between them, and the hope flaring in Elide's chest went out as Rowan backed down. Gave Fenrys an apologetic nod. Fenrys, looking like he was going to be sick, just faced the battlefield again.
Elide backed away a step. Then another.
Lorcan couldn't be dead.
She would know if he were dead. She would know it, in her heart, her soul, if he were gone.
He was down there. He was down there, in that army, perhaps injured and bleeding out — No one stopped her as Elide raced inside the keep. Each step limped, pain cracking through her leg, but she didn't falter as she hit the interior stairwell and plunged into the chaos.
She had made him a promise.
She had sworn him an oath, all those months ago.
I will always find you.
Soldiers and healers fled up the stairs, shoving past Elide. The shouting was near-deafening, bouncing off the ancient stones. She battled her way down, sobbing through her teeth.
I will always find you.
Pushing, elbowing, bellowing at the frantic people who ran past her, Elide fought for each step downward. Toward the gates.
People screamed, a never-ending flood surging up the stairs. Still Elide pushed her way down, losing a step here, another there. They did not even look at her, even try to clear a way as they flowed upward. It was only when Elide lost another step that she roared into the stairwell, "Clear a path for the queen!"
No one listened, so she did it again. She filled her voice with command, with every ounce of power that she'd seen the Fae males use to intimidate their opponents. "Clear a path for the queen!"
This time, people pressed against the walls.
Elide took the small opening, and screamed her order again and again, ankle barking with every step down.
But she made it. Made it to the chaotic lower level, to the open gates teeming with soldiers. Beyond them, bodies stretched into the horizon. Warriors and healers and those bearing the wounded rushed toward any stairwell they could find.
Elide managed all of five limping steps toward the open gate before she knew it would be impossible. To cross the field, to find him on the endless plain, before that dam burst and he was swept away. Before he was gone forever.
He was not dead.
He was not dead.
I will always find you.
Elide scanned the gates, the skies for any sign of a ruk that might carry her. But they soared to the upper levels, crawling with soldiers and healers, some even depositing their charges onto the mountain face itself. And at ground level, none would hear her cries for help.
No soldiers would stop, either.
Elide scanned the other end of the gates' entryway.
Beheld the horses being led out from their stables by frantic handlers, the beasts bucking at the panic around them as they were hauled toward the teeming ramps.
A black mare reared, her cry a sharp warning before she slashed her hooves at the handler. Lord Chaol's horse. The handler shrieked and fell back, barely grasping the reins as the horse stomped, her ears flat to her head.
Elide did not think. Did not reconsider. She limped for the horses and the stables.
She said to the frantic handler, still backing away from the half-wild horse, "I'll get her." The man, white-faced, threw her the reins.
"Good luck." Then he, too, ran.
The mare Farasha-yanked so hard on the reins that Elide was nearly hurled across the stones. But she planted her feet, leg screaming, and said to the horse, "I have need of you, fierce-heart." She met Farasha's dark, raging eyes. "I have need of you." Her voice broke.
"Please."
And gods above, that horse stilled. Blinked.
Horses and handlers streamed past them, but Elide held firm. Waited until Farasha lowered her head, as if in permission.
The stirrups were low enough thanks to Lord Chaol's long legs that Elide could reach them. She still bit down on her shout as her weight settled on her bad ankle, as she pushed, and heaved herself into Farasha's fine saddle. A small mercy, that they had not even had time to unsaddle the horses after battle. A set of what seemed to be braces hung from its sides, surely to keep Lord Chaol stabilized, and Elide unhooked them. Any weight, anything to slow her, had to be discarded.
Elide gathered the reins. "To the battlefield, Farasha."
With a whinnying cry, Farasha plunged into the fray.
Soldiers leaped from their path, and Elide did not stop to apologize, did not stop for anyone, as she and the black mare charged toward the gates. Then through them.
And onto the plain.
#Chapter 59#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Rowan Whitethorn#Aelin Galathynius#Nesryn Faliq#Chaol Westfall#Yrene Towers#Gavriel#Princess Hasar#Lorcan Salvaterre#Elide Lochan#Fenrys Moonbeam#First Read along with me NO SPOILERS PLEASE though warning for post & tags up to KoA 59 & more reacts/notes/quotes in tags below#Aelin won’t take itUnleashing&releaseI KNEW SHE HAD A PLANdeeply waitingHis mate-Their world-Wild-Irritation-She didn’t get impressed#Out of calm-Too soft-NowNOW-Pick anywhere and go-the magic-address later-she gave an option: panic.-Her water magic daughter of Mab#can she control it?-She knows he’s alive because she still is but Valg the fear is real-Ruken yes-Refused to go-Lorcan NO DYING#the audiobook of this will destroy me-THANK YOU ELIDE GOOD QUESTION-Strange ancient-how had no one wondered#I cant/uwont-he didn’t mean it like that-leave it-why?-I will always find u-THATconversation!what was the conversation-floods-shared power#Had he not been swept into the dance of battle he might have stopped to marvel at them. — The Darghan#And those that don't make it to the ruks? the princess pressed something like panic cracking through her fierce face.#Rowan's own heart thundered. They had won the battle only for the enemy to get the final say in their victory. Morath.#It would destroy this army this shred of hope in a simple brutal blow Was it a trap all along?-It’s a trap! Did he pick Anielle for this?DA#NoNot like thisTheres nowhere for them to goThink laterRunNowPut them on the rocks anywhere.magic what if-open the gates-Oakwald#Sent by Yrene to see how Chaol fared a panting fearful question from a wife who had not heard anything of him since the battle#ELIDE KNEW#where is Lorcan going on the list of things that broke me cause Elide knew but also her heart knew cause it wouldve stopped without him#the protective LAY OFF Fenrys and then snarl and Rowan’s snarl back for Lorcan but then explanation & almost pack like mentality#I WILL FIND YOU I WILL ALWAYS FIND YOU#DO THEY HAVE MACELENA VIBES
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Another snippet from my Flipping the Coin au. Probably won’t make it into the actual fic, but I’ve been obsessed with these two and keep finding myself writing moments like this ^^
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Mordred was sprawled over Arthur’s chest, with his thumb tucked in his mouth, and blue eyes serious as he listened to the story with the gravity of a judge. The two of them are slumped in their favorite armchair, the red velvet blotchy from numerous spilled drinks, sticky snacks, and misguided attempts at crafts. It was too warm for a fire, but in the dim evening, with the lone table lamp for light and the window cracked open for a breath of air, it took Arthur back to countless evenings spent in another room. One built of stone and lit only by candle flame.
Aloud, Arthur read, “Because he was the king…”
Personally, it wasn’t his favorite retelling, but Mordred had seen his name on the cover and insisted on hearing it, so he had conceded. Maybe he should’ve waited until Mordred was older before telling him that there were stories about characters who shared their names, but in these last few years, the events from long ago had been so close to mind Arthur had wanted to share it. He assumed Mordred would fixate on the sword fighting and tournaments. Instead, Mordred had picked a book that started with babies being sent out to sea.
“Two by two, he carried—“
Mordred pulled his thumb out of his mouth. “Did you really do that?”
“No.” Arthur marked his spot with a finger and ruffled the thick, black curls. Still damp from the bath, they were in need of a comb. And soon, if Arthur hoped to avoid dealing with tangles. “I never did that.” Dipping his fingers to tickle the back of Mordred’s neck, he smiled as Mordred giggled and tried to escape. “I could never.”
Sitting up, Mordred’s knobby limbs found all of Arthur’s soft spots as he settled knees first on top of Arthur’s chest. “If you had to, could you?”
“Would you,” Arthur automatically corrected.
“Would I?” Mordred’s pitch went comically high. “Nooooooo! Would you!”
Arthur gave him a look, one that Mordred immediately leaned in and mimicked with a giggle. “Would I, Arthur Penn, a man far removed from the ancient past, cast a boat full of babies into the ocean? Absolutely not.”
“What if Merlin told you to?”
He’d never had to. History hadn’t played out like that. But Arthur couldn’t tell his young son that he definitely knew it hadn’t happened because he couldn’t even explain his own past and all that entailed. All Mordred knew was that his father was named after King Arthur, so that meant he’d been named after Mordred. Because they were father and son and that was how it was supposed to be. He didn’t know that in another life they hadn’t been related and that the first time Merlin met Mordred he had helped save him.
“Nope.” Arthur popped the ‘p’. Out of Mordred’s sight, he set the book on the ground. It was time for a better story anyway. “Not even then.”
“What if Merlin did it?”
“Listen, let me tell you about the—“ He almost said ‘the Mordred I knew’ but luckily stopped. Instead, he says, “—the story I heard. It took place when Uther was still king. The first time Arthur met Mordred he was only a little boy…”
#bbc merlin#flipping the coin#arthur pendragon#mordred#father son relationship#arthur lives au#look arthur being mordred’s father is becoming a critical component to this au#it’s helping arthur heal from his unaddressed trauma with uther#it’s also preparing arthur for the sudden reappearance of everyone he loves#sure there’s going to be the most awkward moment ever when mordred regains his memories of his past life#and everyone’s going to be like HUH????? when they hear mordred call arthur dad#but just picture arthur being naively oblivious to everything you’re supposed to do as a parent in the modern world#he doesn’t send mordred to school until he’s about 7 or 8 because no one ever told him he was supposed to#he reads books to him that are not age appropriate because a book is a book#not to mention he won’t bat an eye at playground violence because that’s what he did as a boy#what do you mean you’re supposed to play nice even if the other kid started it????#side note i need to come up with a tag for these two#additional note: the passages arthur is reading comes from I Am Mordred#because that seems like a book arthur would read to a young mordred without realizing the themes aren’t meant for such a young child#especially when that child shares the same name as the protagonist#nothing like starting your kid out in life by reading a book that begins with their father trying to kill them
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