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mxtcha-tea · 4 years ago

Note

useless love letter with oikawa & kuroo?

Useless Love Letter.2

✎desc; when he receives a love letter from someone else and you’re unphased by it.

✎pairing[s]; kuroo x gn!reader (let me know if i miss any)

✎genre; angst, unrequited love (not proofread)

✎language[s]; english

✎chef note; I ran out of ideas so I can't do Oikawa's part (my motivation istg smh)

It’s always been you, Kuroo and Yaku. You three all became friends a lot more quicker than anyone could’ve expected. And the friendship started the same way, from Kuroo annoying you two and becoming enemies when you first met.

Kuroo’s the one who bands you all together into this lump of mess and y’know, he’s glad that he did. High school couldn’t be even more exciting with both of you by his side.

But the more time passed, the more his feelings for you took a slight turn. It was the end of summer when Kuroo started realizing it. You came to his house because you forgot to do the homeworks they’ve given before summer starts.

Sure, it was a pain in the ass having to deal with your complaints and groan echoing every corner of his room. He thought about kicking your out right that instant but something in him told himself to just let you stay there longer.

Watching you from the corner of his eyes, freezing like a statue while squinting your eyes at your exercise book, a pen between your upper lips and nose. It’s not the prettiest image, he had to admit, but you look the most beautiful when you’re doing the most random poses.

Then, his mind drifted to every key memory of you, the way his cheeks would turn into a rosy color when your skin met or when his mind malfunctioned when you held eye contact with him. You drive him insane and Kuroo has no idea if it’s a good thing or not.

But it sure gave him butterflies and made him feel at home. So, maybe it is a good thing. He’ll always have sleepless nights where he can’t think of anything else other than you. He hates it when it happens because it made him feel like a creep.

Kuroo wondered if you felt the same. When he blushes, would you react the same? When he stuttered out, would you do the same? He wasn’t entirely sure, so he tried his best to be as close to you than he’ll ever be.

Even if it may take forever to let those 3 words out from his vocal chords, it’ll be worth it, he knows it.

The bell rang, signalling end of the 3rd period. Yaku sighed, cracking his knuckles before walking towards your desk. Kuroo can be seen sitting in front of you, probably annoying you yet again, “Hey, [y/n], have you written any notes during class?”

Yaku asked, reaching for the nearest chair and sitting on it, leaning his arms onto your desk, “A little,” “Only a little? I honestly thought that you’re not going to write anything,” You tch’ed, holding out your middle finger at Kuroo while the bedhead just snickered,

“It’s none of your business, Mount Fuji hair,” But at that, Kuroo snapped. Yaku tried to hold in his laughs and hitting the desk a little, “Oi, stop coming up with new nicknames for me,” “No, I think that nickname suits you the most, Mount Fuji hair, Mount Fuji hair,”

Now it’s your turn to snicker at him while mockingly pointing at his hair. Yaku finally releases his laugh while holding you for support. For some reasons, that action pissed him a lot more.

Who did he think he is to just touch you like that? But he managed to calm himself as he points at you, trying to figure out a better remark to counter your insult,

“How ironic hearing it from-” “UM, SORRY,” He got cut off as he looked to his left, finding a girl, probably from a different class standing next to him with a nervous face.

Both you and Yaku stopped laughing and also took your attention on the girl. With shaky hands, she holds out a letter to Kuroo. All three of you went wide eyes at that as the same exact words run across your minds,

‘A CONFESSION LETTER?!’

“Please accept this!” He slowly takes the letter from the girl’s hand, nodding, “Oh, um, okay,” And with that, the girl ran out from the classroom, face visibly red from being nervous and probably embarrassment.

It was silence before all of you looks at the letter in Kuroo’s hand, you look up at his face, who’s also looking at you and the same thing with Yaku,

“HAH! Look at who’s Mr. Popular right now,” Kuroo stated, pointing at you with a smirk plastered on his face, “Ugh, you’re so annoying, and so what? It’s only a letter and not tons of them,”

And after that very statement of yours, you hold Yaku’s face in between your hand like a sandwich with a small smile on your face, “But honestly, Yaku can get more love letters than you, I mean look at him, isn’t he handsome?”

Yaku blushed at that, slowly gripping your wrist and pushing your hands away from his face, “Hey, don’t do that, it hurts,” “Oops, sorry Mr. Handsome,” “Seriously, what’s with you and giving random nicknames?” “But that’s not random? I genuinely think you’re handsome, Mori,”

His blush deepened as he lightly hit your head, “J-just shut up,” “Ow! Fine fine, yeesh,”

Kuroo just stays quiet, staring at you two acting...oddly lovely with each other from his seat. He wanted to punch Yaku so bad but he can’t, he knows he can’t. But it doesn’t matter, cause you like him right? He’s sure of that, it’s just like a frenemies to lover trope.

He coughed, taking back both of your attention, “But I don't really see him receiving any, didn’t he? Then, I guess I’ll just keep being Mr. Popular, or even Mr. Handsome,” Yaku cringed while you snorted,

“You? Who in the world would even think that? You’re ugly, ugly baby, maybe that girl’s delusional or something,” “As if you’re anywhere pretty, and who’s even getting a love letter right now? I bet you’re jealous that you got none,”

You sighed, resting your head onto the palm of your hand, “Sadly, I guess no one noticed my beauty, “ Kuroo chuckled, “But serious talk here,”

That caught both Kuroo and Yaku attention as you continue, eyes looking down on your finger hitting the desk, “I don’t really mind getting a love letter from someone, whether it’s a prank or whatever, I think it’s neat,”

You look up at both of them, a small smile decorating your face, “ It makes me feel special,”

Kuroo could feel his heart beating faster, cheeks burning up at nothing but those simple words. It’s funny how the love letter in his hand doesn’t give him any reactions at all, but your mere words does,

“Stop saying it in that tone, you’re making me feel bad,” “Pfft, I don’t need your pity,” “Oh really~? Maybe I’ll write a letter for you to make you feel better then,” “Ugh, no thanks, Mount Fuji hair,” “Yeah, I- OI! SERIOUSLY, STOP WITH THE NICKNAME,”

You and Kuroo kept on arguing with each other, spitting profanities and so on. Yaku can just sigh, shaking his head and watching you two with a small smile.

“I’m going home now!”

Grabbing his bag, Yaku waved his hand as he walked towards the gym door, “Okay, stay safe!” Kai said, waving back at him, Kuroo joined his side, “I hope you don’t get chased again by those dogs,” “SHUT UP MOUNT FUJI HAIR!”

And with one last glare at the ravenette, Yaku stormed out from the gym after accidentally being reminded by that horrible and embarrassing memory,

“Mount Fuji hair?” Kai looked at Kuroo with a confused look, “Ah, It’s a new nickname [y/n] gave me, it’s stupid to be honestly,”

Kuroo explained, scratching the back of his head as he followed Kai to grab a broom and clean the gym.

Behind them are the 2nd years helping to clean the gym. Kenma sitting on the floor while rejecting Yamamoto’s request to put down the net with him and Fukunaga’s just watching them from a distance, sweeping the floor while snickering to himself,

“Kuroo, I hope you’re planning on confessing to [y/n], because you’re delaying a lot of time,” Kuroo pursed his lips, sweeping the floor a few meters away from Kai, “Nah, I think after a few more days then I can confess to them,”

And from that, Kai stopped sweeping as it caught Kuroo’s attention. Kuroo looks at him, his eyes show nothing but urgency. And somehow pity,

“I’m serious right now, Kuroo. You’ve what? Said that 3 times already and you still haven’t done anything. And…”

He stopped, sighing quietly before continuing, “...If you don’t take actions right this instant, [y/n]’s gonna be sweeped away by someone else,” Kuroo’s eyes went wide at that, “You...you don’t mean,”

“[y/n]’s going to be confessed by someone else today, at this time. I’ve heard it from a friend of mine,”

The broom in his hand falls down, echoing through the now empty gym and catching the attention of the 2nd years, looking at Kuroo with confusion. The male isn’t doing any better, he’s visibly shaking but he can’t move or do anything.

But then, his instincts started kicking in as his legs made the first move. He slammed open the gym door and started running towards the place he would think you would be at. Kai watching him with pity lacing his expression, taking the broom from the ground,

“I’m so sorry, Kuroo,”

‘I’m going to confess to [y/n] today and give them a letter because you know that I can’t tell everything inside my mind when they’re in front of me, they’re too pretty and it makes me nervous y’know. Oh, and also, keep this a secret from Kuroo, okay?’

His mind is going everywhere, his thighs burning from the amount of running he did from the gym all the way to the hallway of the first class. Kuroo has no idea where he’s heading to whatsoever but at the same time, he knows where it is.

The world around him started spinning as a pain shot to his head but he paid it no mind as he huffed, beads of sweat falling from his face and covering his cheeks.

And suddenly he stopped.

Kuroo watches from a distance, chest rising up and down. He can’t feel anything right now, he can’t hear anything. But the pain is still visibly there when he watches Yaku handing you a letter.

Your eyes went wide as you bowed to Yaku and took the letter from him. He can’t hear what they’re talking about, but whatever it’s about really makes you happy huh? And before he could process anything after that, you two kissed.

It was just a few seconds but it felt like an eternity to Kuroo. The way your lips touch Yaku’s, and not his. God, he dreamed of feeling it against him but now, he doesn't even have the chance to taste it.

Now, he’s thinking back to what Kai had said. Why did he wait to confess to you? The answer is quite simple,

Because he’s afraid. He’s afraid of rejection, he’s afraid that it’ll ruin the relationship you have with him now, he’s afraid of showing his vulnerability to you. It’s a simple task but a hard execution, and now Kuroo can’t do it anymore. Not now, not then.

Yes, he regretted not doing it earlier but it’s even more painful that he has to watch both of his friends fall in love with each other without him noticing. Actually, no, he did notice it.

Kuroo did notice how Yaku look at you, it’s also the way Kuroo looks at you too. But he didn't mind it because he can’t face the reality. That you like Yaku better than him.

So, he had to live in a fantasy world where you fall in love with him instead. How funny. A part of him wanted to stop it, just stop the painful visual that he had to watch, maybe that’ll be an interesting twist to the story.

But he didn’t, because he’s still scared.

And before Kuroo even knew it, you two are gone now. Probably going on a quick date or something. He weakly leaned against the wall, slowly falling down to his knees as he covered his face with his hands.

A few sniffles came out from him as he choked on his tears, each droplet falling down to the ground and soaking his sweaty hands. And now, he knows why Yaku asked to go home early today,

Kuroo hiccupped, a small smile appearing on his face as he laughed quietly to himself, “It’s okay, they’re a cute couple anyway. You’re strong, and you can find...better,”

It’s always been you, Kuroo and Yaku. And now, it’s only Kuroo left.

#haikyuu #haikyuu angst #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #kuroo tetsuro #kuroo x reader #kuroo angst

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tomthesoftie · 4 years ago

Text

the right decision pt. 2

❧ prompt: you and tom grew up together but always as enemies — nothing more, nothing less. as you grow older, you must realize it’s time to be mature. you either must throw tom out of your life or take him in as an ally. which will you choose?

❧ pairing: prince!tom holland x princess!reader x prince!park jimin

❧ genre: angst, barely any fluff, e2l

❧ warnings: light swearing, slight verbal abuse (nothing too heavy, only degradation), heartbreak ?

❧ a/n: lmao there are so many hidden symbols in this fic except some are revealed so i’ll explain the color symbols in this fic: orange is the change of attraction, pink is romance, and purple is the two characters coming to peace with each other. also this is a bit longer than what i usually write so ;P hopefully the second part makes up for the shitty first chapter lmao. shit, i was originally not going to write a third part but umm... shit. ok see you in the third chapter lmao smh

← chap. 1 chap. 3 →

masterlist prompt list

In your white organza, you let your fingertips graze over the delicate petals of the gorgeously growing gardenias. Your dress flows with your movement as you step forward, observing the chrysanthemums. Looking as perfect as usual, you moved ahead to observe your candytufts. All flowers were white, like your dress.

Truthfully, how you obtained these enchanting flowers still puzzles you. They just suddenly appeared one day when you were considering doing something with the empty space the flowers had suddenly occupied in the garden. However, you don’t care. The flowers are perfect.

Life has become quiescent ever since Tom has left you alone, almost to the point you regret pushing him away. Of course, there was a reason to why you acted the way you did. It was time for you to mature, and Tom wasn’t helping that growth whatsoever. Although the more you think about it, the more you realize that you could’ve taken him in as an ally. You couldn’t avoid him forever, and neither could he. Eventually the two of you would grow to rule your kingdoms as king and queen.

Shaking off the growing feelings of regret, you twirl back to the kingdom, hair whipping around with you. Taking one last breath of the fresh air surrounding you, you drag your heavy body back into the same, old, stodgy castle you’ve been living in for years.

To your surprise, a handmaiden is waiting for you, instructing you to follow her on behalf of the king, your father. Leading you to the doors of the dining hall, she adjusts and cleans off your dress, combing your hair until it neatly falls onto your shoulders.

“She’s ready,” you hear the handmaiden whisper to the tall standing butler before quickly rushing off.

“Madam,” he says sticking his arm out as the door opens, “Her royal highness, Princess Y/N L/N.”

Awkwardly curtsying in your dress, you look up to see unfamiliar faces sat across your parents’. The first face to draw in your attention is a man that looks young — a bit older than you but almost your age. Suddenly standing, the man bowed, no words spoken. You smile awkwardly before moving to take the seat beside your mother and across from the man.

“Ah,” the woman sitting across from your mother spoke, “how nice it is to finally meet you.”

You smiled warmly, though forcibly. Your hands rest in your lap, each finger toying with the other. You look down at your manicured hands, taking a moment to put together the pieces, but nothing came to mind. Looking up in frustration, your eyes meet the man across from you. He looks angelic.

His silver hair and pale skin made him look soft. Not only that but his eyes are enchanting. They are a beautiful crystal blue color, reeling you in like you are under a spell. He has plump, pink lips, glistening every time he licks them.

You hear someone clear their throat, “May I introduce King Park and Queen Park of South Korea and their son, Prince Park Jimin.”

Looking around expectedly, waiting for your father or mother to speak up, you are only met with eyes staring at you.

“O-Oh,” you cough gingerly, “It’s a honor to meet you, King Park and Queen Park.” Looking over at the silver-haired boy, you shyly smile, “A pleasure to make your acquaintance, Prince Park.”

He smiles, and you feel your heart clench at the sight, “And I, you, Princess L/N.”

He stands as you do, bowing to you before stretching a hand out for yours. Hesitantly, you place your hand gently in his and watch as he lightly kisses the back of your hand. Sitting back down, you feel heat rising to your cheeks as your thumb strokes the tingling sensation on the back of your hand.

“Great,” your father quips, “Now that we’ve familiarized ourselves, let’s talk about the marriage.”

At the word, your head snaps up to look at your father. Your gaze seems to be searching for something, a sign that tells you that your ears are deceiving you. Sadly, nothing suggests that your ears are wrong.

For the rest of the discussion, you’re not in your body, soul floating about and out of the kingdom. What pulls you back to reality is the sensation of the chair attempting to be pulled out from underneath you.

Abruptly, you stand up, curtseying the Park Royalty goodbye.

“See you soon, princess,” Jimin says, exchanging the title for a cheeky nickname, before kissing the back of your hand once more but letting his lips linger longer.

You blush away from his touch and give him a shy smile as you watch his slim figure slip out of the large doors.

Once the family is no longer in your sight, you burst at your parents, “Marriage? Seriously?”

You are infuriated. You never expected to be married off to some stranger, nonetheless at such a young age. You had just turned 21, for fucks sake. Moreover, they didn’t even consider discussing the situation beforehand.

“Look, darling,” your mother places a delicate hand on your cheek, “We’re growing old and soon we won’t be able to protect this kingdom. We need to pass it on to someone more reliable and trustworthy.”

“Yeah, then pass it on to me. Just me,” you clarify.

“As much as I’d love to do that, you know it’s not possible. You’re not possibly strong enough on your own,” she gives you sympathetic eyes.

“I’m- Excuse me? Not only are you stripping away my freedom of choosing my own significant other, but you’re now degrading me?” You snap, seeing red.

“You know that’s not what I mean-” your father cuts your mother off.

“Enough! We gave you a chance already,” he huffs, anger rising as well.

“What chance? Vincent? If I had known that-”

“Vincent? That silly boy? No, that was show enough that you can’t choose the right people to help rule this kingdom, but albeit that wasn’t your chance. There’s someone else that’s been beside you all your life. It’s been planned for ages, and you just had to go off and ruin it,” your father roars.

“Who else is there? My handmaidens?” You laugh sarcastically, tears filling your eyes.

“Think, you foolish child! If you can’t even figure out who it is, you definitely won’t be able to rule a kingdom alone,” you shake angrily at your father’s debasing words.

Thinking as hard as you can through your sorrowful rage, a face pops into your head.

Tom.

“Has it finally clicked yet?” Your father’s voice breaks your trance.

“Tom,” you whisper, weakly.

Without any other words, he nods, escorting your mother and himself out of the room, leaving you to think to yourself.

“Excuse me, ma’am,” a handmaiden spoke up, “would you like us to prepare anything? Like a bath or supper?”

Shaking your head, you dismissed her, thoughts racing in your head.

It suddenly got all too stuffy to be staying in the kingdom. You had to get out. You had to breathe in the fresh air of the wet grass, old, growing trees, and your precious flower garden.

Moving as fast as your heel-clad feet could take you, you rush out and towards your white flowers when you notice a silhouette standing above them, watering them.

His brunette locks shine in the golden light of the setting sun. As you move closer, you can see his well-constructed body through his garments. What he wore wasn’t anything special, just a white button down and grey trousers.

“Did you know?” You ask, voice wavering.

“Of course I knew,” he replies, quietly, voice soft to soothe you.

“Why didn’t you-” you felt yourself choke on your words, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want to force you into falling for me,” he simply shrugs, hands playing with your flowers. “Although, seeing where we are now, I can’t say that what I did has encouraged us towards marriage.”

Standing in silence together, the pair of your stare at the flowers, the white of the petals turning orange, then pink, and then purple, following the shifting colors of the sky.

“I’ve missed you,” you suddenly blurt out.

Tom turns his head to face you, “I’ve missed you as well, darling.”

Tears erupt from your eyes, and you fall into Tom’s chest, arms wrapping around his torso.

“I’m sorry,” you sob, “I didn’t mean what I said at the ball. I don’t know what got into me.”

You felt him press a gentle kiss to the top of your head.

“It’s alright, darling,” he sighs, hand rubbing the arch of your back.

“It’s not. What I said was wrong. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry,” you shake your head, hair sticking onto your wet skin.

“I forgive you, darling. Please stop crying,” he says sweetly before pulling back to wipe away your tears.

You look at him with glistening, doe eyes. Your hair is a wild mess, and the minimal makeup you wore had smudged off, revealing your natural beauty.

“Do you want to know something about your flowers?” Tom asks, trying to change the subject and cheer you up.

Nodding, you give him a silent answer.

“These,” he points at your chrysanthemums, “mean truth,” next, the candytufts, “indifference, and finally, my favorite,” the gardenias, “secret love.” He looks over to see your sparkling eyes of fascination, “Ever wonder how you got these?”

“Yes, I wonder every time I see them. Do you know who or how?” You ask, completely oblivious to the fact that he knows you didn’t personally request for the flowers to be planted.

He chuckles, “It was I, darling.”

You turn to face him in shock, “You?”

“Let me explain,” he smiles, “I first sent these to you when I realized my feelings for you. The gardenias represented my hidden love for you, the white chrysanthemums represented that I was going to tell you soon, and the candytufts represented you and your indifference for my feelings. You were perfect. You are perfect,” he corrects himself, “Then, when you started Vincent, I became jealous, and I was mad that you chose the man that you had barely known over me. I was beside you all of your life, yet you chose him,” Tom’s face contorts in jealousy. “I became bitter, and whenever I saw you, I saw him. He was always beside you. I treated you more harshly because of him, but when I heard news of your breakup, I immediately regretted the way I treated you. I should’ve protected you, rather than ignoring you.”

With eyes of awe, you whisper to yourself, “Tom likes me?”

“I’d say ‘love,’ but if you’re more comfortable with ‘like’ then I happy that you’re happy,” he chuckles.

You warm smile drops, “I’m sorry I treated you with such dislike. If I’d known, I would’ve respected you.”

The smug look on his face drops as well, “Does this mean you don’t feel the same way about me?”

“Well, to be honest, Tom, up until a couple weeks ago, I thought we had a mutual hate, but I do think that I have potential feelings for you that are slowly but surely arising. Although, even if we wanted to be together, it would be impossible,” you look down at your hands, tears developing in your quivering eyes at the mention of the arranged marriage.

He smiles lamentably, “I know.”

The two of you stand in silence, heads hanging in despair. None of you have anything else to say, only there to enjoy being in each others presence. You only move when you hear sniffles that don’t belong to you.

“Tom?” You say his name, hopelessly. Not receiving a response from him, you look up to see his shaking figure. “Oh, Tommy,” you coo, taking him into your arms. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” you rub his back, face snuggled in the crook of his neck.

You let Tom sob in your arms until he ran out of tears to cry. When he finally collects himself and is in the right state of mind, again, he places a gentle kiss to your cheek before running off and leaving you to yourself in your dark garden.

You look up at the sky. The sun is already long gone, and the stars have come out to play with the moon. A tear falls down your cheek, left with confused feelings and a broken heart.

Jimin sits on the marble seat of his balcony, staring up at the dark sky, wondering what you were up to at the moment. He was infatuated with you at first glance; your beauty lures and traps him.

Jimin smiles at the twinkling stars, a sense of thrill flowing through him.

There were three stars that shone especially brightly that night. One of said stars twinkled its last day, falling unannounced, leaving the one star sad and confused and the other excited and ready.

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pepperful-qt · 4 years ago

Note

Also I saw that you're into hp too, I'd like to request a hq x hp crossover please! Relationship hcs of kuroo, osamu and semi (separately) with a slytherin s/o? + bonus if there are suggestive hcs as well. I personally hc kuroo to be a fellow slytherin so I'd really appreciate it if you could assign slytherin for him! I'll leave osamu's and semi's houses to you ^^ thanks again!

ahhh this request made me so excited !! funnily enough I hc slytherin for all these babes🙈im one myself haha let's go🐍🐍🐍 this isn’t late shh

warnings: suggestive situations/language, alcohol (firewhiskey?? & substances)

Kuroo, Osamu, & Semi with a Slytherin s/o HP! AU

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。・゜✭・.・✫

Kuroo Tetsurou

he’s an example of a great slytherin leader

definitely a prefect/head boy, quidditch captain, and is in like 3 clubs. you bet he’s a favorite among professors too

he’s the stereotypical slytherin that’s good at potions, but it’s not bc he’s a slytherin it’s bc he’s an actual nerd (chemistry nerd? try potions nerd)

and he’s just generally smart and good in his classes

and so are you :) a prefect too

in fact, you’re quite popular with all the houses and the professors. most people wouldn’t guess that your slytherin based on stereotypes

Kuroo, however, recognizes what you’re really doing: creating a network for yourself, and he respects it, but he will mess with you

you actually become friends with Kenma first, knowing he’s very intelligent, which is how he hears about you other than seeing you in passing in the common room and your shared classes

the first time he speaks to you is in potions class and brings up Kenma as a common point, and continues just charming his way through the conversation

he’s just too nice. but there’s little hints of provocation in there too

so you make things fun and flirt back, but play innocent hard to get

the whole time before he actually asks you out is this back and forth witty banter and flirting that drives everyone crazy

which by the way, he keeps dropping hints that you’re going to have to ask first, but when you finally crack and start to he asks instead, making you flustered (which was his goal the whole time)

can i just say: power couple

y’all are just popular and no one knows why really?? you’re just hard to hate. it’s allll jealousy

you’re also the parents of the slytherins too. you keep em in line but also have no issue standing up to anyone

and trust me, no one wants to mess with you two. you have respect for more than one reason, and knowing a nasty hex or two is def one of them

that network i was talking about? comes in handy all the time

he’ll casually mention a specific kind of root he needs for a potion he wants to try in his extracurricular potion lessons (yes he’s that person) and you just go:

“oh Richard has a friend in ravenclaw who’s got a cousin working at a shop in Hogsmeade that gets those regularly. want me to ask?”

he’s good at getting away with his shenanigans. usually. you always catch him and never let him live it down

when he acts all cocky you know just what to say to knock him down a few pegs, or flirt up a storm that makes everyone around you gag at the sexual tension

“yes captain”

honestly, it feels like you’re the only ones who know the other completely, save for Kenma with Kuroo

he’s the type that will cast orchideous when he sees you by yourself and make flowers grow next to you before walking up and revealing himself aw <3

other students would rather hug the giant squid than get in a debate with you two, especially if you’re together. they’re feelings and egos will be permanently scarred

more pda than other slytherin x slytherin relationships. you’re not afraid to show that you belong to each other

it’ll be something like an arm around your shoulder or a kiss on the cheek as a greeting (it’s still subtle)

however,,

more than one occasion he’ll come up behind you while you’re working in the library and massage your shoulders while kissing your neck and whispering some suggestions into your ear

it looks very innocent from an outside perspective, but he makes it so hard to concentrate with his hot breath on your skin

and did i mention you’re both prefects? wow do you abuse your privilege sometimes

what’s more exciting than getting a little action in a dark secluded part of the castle by torchlight during your nightly rounds?

need i mention the bath? steamy.. Myrtle’s a blabbermouth too, so the other prefects know what’s up. but really, are they gonna stop you?

not always, of course. shared baths are some of the best times to have real talk and deep conversations

100% supportive of each other and will take over the world one day, we love to see it

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。・゜✭・.・✫

Miya Osamu

the temptation to just make him from Durmstrang-

***i just know people will fight me for sorting him into Slytherin. it’s true that he fits in others but he’s flexible, so i stuck him here for now. i already admitted he was a hat stall calm down.

ANYWAYS

Osamu’s career as a Hogwarts student is made up of 2 things: quidditch and a secret snack and substance smuggling ring he started in his second year

the Miya twins have a reputation with quidditch just like with volleyball (Osamu is a chaser, Atsumu is a beater. great team)

(i imagine they’re pureblood too, not rlly important though. if you’re half/muggleborn, enjoy teaching his clueless ass about basic muggle society)

you’re another proud and competitive slytherin, who somehow has dirt on anyone and everyone

you’re on the quidditch team too, even better. that’s where you grow close to the twins at first, making you guys a power trio in your own right. quidditch dream team <3

not only do you spend a lot of time together, getting to know each other intimately as teammates (beyond the facades) and allowing his feelings to grow slowly yet surely, but Atsumu is also there to provoke and make Osamu subconsciously jealous when he gets feelings

you’re great at talking Atsumu in circles, which frustrates him and amuses Osamu

(more than once the twins have gotten into pseudo-duels and nearly burned the quidditch stands to the ground. lucky your common room is in a stone dungeon omfg)

you obv know about his snack business, initiating a bit of blackmail to get him to do favors for you, but all in good fun. eventually one of those favors is a date ;)

it’s a quiet relationship, not an in-your-face one, but no one can deny the chemistry,, it’s almost suffocating itself

he’d messed around a little, but they never lasted more than a week. so when he realized you’d hit the month mark he was (internally) “oh shit”

you go on Hogsmeade dates all the time <3 he actually laughs when you get a butterbeer foam mustache. it was an accident the first time, now you do it on purpose ;)

you become a business partner for his smuggling ring. your blackmail means you’ve got lots of people under your thumb and lots of favors available to call in. he also trusts your judgement

fangirls are always jealous, but merlin help them if they confront you. if they’re lucky you’ll roll your eyes and ignore them, but usually you’ll decimate them with words and leave them in the dust. you also know how to hex and get away with it (just blame someone else duh)

yeah rumors happen and it’s annoying, bc you really don’t need people staring at you all the time, but neither you or Osamu even address it

both of you are invited to Slughorn’s parties along with Atsumu, you’re that couple

you’re staring someone down and he comes from behind and snakes (ha) his arms around your waist, glaring at them over your shoulder. 11/10 terrifying

sitting in the courtyard talking to your friends, your head on his lap while he plays with your hair

sneaking into the kitchens together. once you tried some cooking charms and the next day everyone’s eggs were neon green at breakfast...oops?

holding hands while you walk through the hallways and the crowd parts around you

Atsumu is secretly bitter his brother has such a cool s/o and he has yet to have a serious relationship, so he’ll bother & tease the two of you a lot to cope smh

though you don’t show it in public and often give off a tough front instead, behind closed doors you’re actually very loving and committed to one another

favorite places for ~special~ time? quidditch locker room & your dorm

you find excuses to stay behind after practice together. your teammates used to think it was just a coincidence until they finally caught on (not that they’d tattle. if you get caught that’s your business)

imo Osamu would probably be willing to try involving charms in some way during sexy times. a spark on your skin, binding, whatever. most of them are one-offs but it’s the thought that counts ig

there’s an unspoken rule in the slytherin boys dorm to stick a drooble’s gum wrapper on the door of the dorm to tell the others to stay out, but Osamu doesn’t trust anyone so he prefers hanging out in your room. it’s quieter and your roommates know not to try anything <3

he smuggles in some firewhiskey and other stuffs for you two to enjoy by yourselves <3

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。・゜✭・.・✫

Semi Eita

(debated with gryffindor for him, but ultimately decided nahh)

Semi is less of the sly and underhanded slytherin and more of the ambitious and self-assured kind

idk why, but i’m feeling a love-hate to friendly competition to friends to lovers ?? don’t ask ajsldkf

you’re a top student, mostly bc of your charm though. no one knows if your good grades are real (they are, but it doesn’t hurt being the teacher’s favorite)

though you hop around friend circles, you don’t have a solid group. sort of an outcast in that way

he knows you exist, but no one really expects much from you. aha, big mistake

every single time you sweep everyone in classes, one way or another, you come out on top (hey i won’t question your methods) and oh does it piss him off. you’ve hit a competitive nerve my friend,, little bit of envy too :/

he confronts you, but you evade, maybe with a little challenge or provocation

from then on it’s just little jabs at each other. he corrects your stirring technique. you return the favor in transfiguration with his wrist motion

you two are the definition of “are you flirting or starting a fight?”

he ends up partnering with you in potions, just to see your tricks up close i swear. he didn’t realize that meant he’d see different sides of you when you study. the way you mingle with everyone intrigues and fascinates him, and slowly curiosity takes the place of spite

he saw you prank a gryffindor into drinking babbling beverage, and it was the first time he saw a genuine smile from you (even if it was a little malicious)

slowly your relationship shifts as you learn more about each other. you’re more than a suspected cheater and he’s more than a hotheaded jock

you two are the definition of “are you flirting or starting a fight?”

both of you are super super stubborn and too proud to admit feelings for each other sigh, cue slytherin bff tendou to the rescue. count on him for some elaborate scheme to finally get you two together. thank god

once you are together, you’re inseparable

you send each other messages on paper birds charmed to fly to the other, wherever they are. it’s gotten you in trouble a few times (Snape will read them out loud, just bc you’re slytherin doesn’t mean you’re spared embarrassment)

you are in charge of his outfits if you ever go on casual dates to Hogsmeade. sorry eita it’s not a debate <3

he’s super fcking protective, and has a bit of a jealous streak. scary when irritated, but no more than you are

most loyal freaking couple ever though

you’ll have heated debates with each other that from the outside look like you’re fighting but five minutes later you’re chilled out on the common room couch reading a book together, him reading over your shoulder as you sit between his legs

deep conversations late at night in the common room, watching the giant squid & cuddling by the fireplace

love talking about your dreams and aspirations, joking about taking over the world together <3

though it takes some convincing for him on your part, you’re great at sneaking out and not getting caught. you know the secret passages like the back of your hand thanks to being stuck in the dungeons, and like hell rules are going to keep you from enjoying what you want

Hogsmeade, down by the black lake/boathouse at night, and your favorite spot, the astronomy tower <3

you’ll go up there at night, casting sparks from your wand that decorate the air like hovering stars, and just enjoy the beauty of magic and each other

the first time you were almost caught, you ended up in a snug secret passage, and that was your first kiss

sometimes you’re almost caught and then it’s a nice flashback to that time

low on pda outside of holding hands, but get a little firewhiskey and you’re all over each other

late night study sessions in the library that often turn into makeout sessions when you’re finally alone what can i say, the possibility of getting caught is exciting

a big part of your relationship is impressing and inspiring each other every day. you understand each others’ passions and habits, and you’re constantly keeping each other in check while also pushing yourselves to be better (tbh top tier slytherin x slytherin dynamic)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。・゜✭・.・✫

a/n: anyone want a fic out of these?? omfg please send more harry potter or au in general

#sorry this took so long i wanted it to be good #kuroo tetsuro #miya osamu #semi eita #kuroo tetsuro x reader #miya osamu x reader #semi eita x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu scenario #haikyuu harry potter #harry potter au #kuroo x reader #osamu x reader #semi x reader

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lordseochangbin · 5 years ago

Text

Crime n Mystery- Lee Felix

description: [3k words] felix FBI agent au w/ a possible plot

warnings: curses, slight masturbation (?) no idea what it is lmfaooo

a/n: ive always wanted to write a murder mystery so this is to get it started! if it does well ill think about continuing it because im not sure if anyone enjoys criminal mind things as much as i do

This guy was going on a date with no cologne on? Disgusting. You had a knack of judgment, already being able to predict the outcome of this guy’s dinner after driving so many lovebirds to their dates. A typical Saturday night called for taxi driver business and you loved the amount of money that came through but in the end, you couldn’t help but wonder when you would be driving yourself to a date.

You carried a decent amount of knowledge after three years, your best bet was when you told one of your customers she was about to be broken up with, only to see her back in your car asking for a ride a few minutes after arriving. You could tell where these people were going, what their plans were just from their location and attire. A decent amount of knowledge.

Sometimes there were “those” type of people. Failures of being a woman in the driver’s seat (which shouldn’t be a problem smh). “Those” people who ask to sit in the front seat to play the radio only to try to get their hands in your pants. “Those” people who try to sit right behind you and try to whisper things in your ear. “Those” people who- you get the idea. But with no excuse, you carried pepper spray around your neck all the time for when it was necessary.

The woman that had just stepped in your taxi, you couldn’t seem to get a grip on. She wore a poker face, hands crossed as she scrolled through what seemed to be “Tinder”. Maybe it was a Tinder date. After arriving at the restaurant you watched as she left your car, her ass sticking out in her bodycon dress along with the sound of her high heels clicking.

“Hey wait, aren’t you going to pay?” You groan before turning around to see the exact amount in cash on the seat. You peeked inside the restaurant to see a full crowd, someone in there is going to need a ride for sure, so you turn on your taxi light and wait for the next customer to arrive.

----

Rolling up the sleeves to his white button-up, Felix makes his way through the crowded restaurant. He was lucky enough to have found his first suspect on a tinder website and couldn’t believe how vulnerable she was for having accepted his request to meet. Little did she know his identity.

His co-worker Angel claimed it was the profile picture that must’ve swooned her, the forced smile and nose scrunch hiding his secret demeanor. Felix was handsome, his hair combed back and his cheeks covered with light brown freckles. It was easy for him to pass as a college student or gas station employee- a bit of makeup was all he needed. Thus holds today, meeting a suspect who expects a perfect tinder date, only to be disappointed.

Finding the small table in the corner, Felix casually grabs the seat, looking into the girl’s eyes before asking “Is this seat taken?”

A slight smirk meets her face before she replies, “If your name is Alex then yes”

“Alex?” Felix replies, sitting down across from her, “Lucky guy”

From the way she smiled at his response to her soft pink cheeks, Felix could already tell she was lured into the game. He was annoyed yet relieved, his good looks always gave him entry, along with his deep voice. He could practically read women like a book.

Her bright red hair seems fake, even in the pictures and the amount of makeup is quite visible, she’s trying hard to hide her identity as well.

“Hm, care for a drink Alex?”

Felix pouted his lips, free drinks from his number one suspect? A big win. But his boss checking his BAC? Not really.

Playing with the edge of the plastic menu in front of him Felix refuses, “No thanks. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to drive you home after this”

The woman’s lips gasp at his words, “You’re driving me home after this?”

A light chuckle leaves Felix’s lips as his hand meets her thigh, giving it a small squeeze before whispering in her ear, “I think you’ll want me to drive you home after this”

God, it always worked. Of course, she throws her head back at his touch. Felix feels like internally cringing. Her skins rough like scales and he wants to remove it so badly. Her hand goes to his wrist, moving his hand up her thigh as her eyes shut in bliss. Disgusting, disgusting, Felix can’t form words on how not turned on he is. Maybe he should just end this now.

“But unfortunately, I’ll have to drive you to the Los Angeles Police for continuous accounts of larceny and grand theft”

The woman gave Felix a blank stare, slowly closing her legs. The small action made Felix smirk as he pulled out his cuffs from under his suit, “Can’t get away now- Fuck!”

Jumping out of her seat, the woman dashed for the door through crowded people. Trying to make his way through, Felix thought about calling for backup.

Sure, he should’ve came with his partner Ashton but he just quit the job, leaving Felix alone on tracking cases like these until he finds a new partner. The sounds of laughter and the smell of alcohol filled his senses in the midst of his thoughts. He needed to catch this woman and finally put an end to the city’s robberies.

----

God, how long were you sleeping? You rubbed your eyes in an attempt of clearing your blurry sight at watch the front door of the restaurant in hopes of someone needing a ride when suddenly a woman runs out. Her hand is held onto her purse as she runs down the street, jumping into the car in front of you and driving away. “Woah, WOAH!” You exclaim as a guy jumps into your passenger’s seat.

“Follow that car!! Follow the car!!” Your eyes freeze on the man next to you as he quickly puts on his seatbelt. “Hello? Can you fucking drive??” He asks, waving his hand in front of your face before you could get a hold of the situation. Your eyes peek inside his suit, an FBI badge hidden behind the clothes before you could step on the pedal. “I have ALWAYS wanted to be in the middle of a pursuit, I’ll follow the car!” You squeal in excitement, speeding up before you could catch up with the Honda Civic.

The guy next to you pulls up his phone, muttering some words in the call before getting an address. “Y-yeah, uhhh I just got in some taxi and the driver is following our criminal.” Shit, so this is some police stuff?

You try to keep your cool as the Civic you’re chasing speeds through traffic, breezing through the cars and way over the speed limit.

“Look, I work for the FBI, I’m sorry if I scared you by getting in your car all of the sudden but I seriously need to catch this guy, o-or girl. If you could press on it a bit-”

“Are you fucking crazy?! I’m going at 75!!” You exclaim, your hands aching in pain from gripping on the wheel.

“The limit is 65, I’m a cop!! You won’t get a ticket!”

You turn to his side and smirk, “I won’t get a ticket?”

The guy rolls his eyes before sighing in relief, “You won’t get a ticket”

“If you say so” You tsk as you press on the pedal again, “Hold on tight~”

Felix’s eyes glow as the car’s engine below you burns, the sudden speed pulls the both of you back but your reactions are quite different. The man next to you is holding onto his seat for his life while you’re living the time of your life.

“Can you be a little more responsible?? I’m trying to catch a criminal here”

“A bit responsible? You literally just got into a stranger’s car and asked them to drive”

“You’re a taxi driver, you should at least have some experience in traffic”

“Only when I’m following the ro-WATCH!” You swerve past a car in front of you that slowed down, your hand on Felix’s chest as you hold him back to make sure he’s safe. Your act took Felix by surprise, his focus completely thrown off before you could place your hand on the wheel.

“Okay, okay sorry. I-I’ll try my best, I can see the car ahead of us” You sputter our nervously.

Felix clears his throat and fixes his suit before eyeing the car again. “It looks like it’s taking a turn on Union, maybe going to one of the backstreets”

“Should I keep my distance?”

“Hmm, depends. Is this car bulletproof?” He asks, arching an eyebrow as you pout your lips.

“Fuck off” You roll your eyes before cautiously driving into one of the more hidden streets of the city.

Suddenly the Civic stopped, causing Felix to jump up in his seat as he watches. The woman gets out of her car, her figure suddenly disappearing.

“Park right here,” Felix asked, “If you don’t see me in ten, try calling the police, but I doubt you’ll have to do that” He winks before closing the door.

You take a gasp in relief, looking around the dark neighborhood and locking the doors to your car. What are you going to do now? A random FBI agent got into your car and now you’re stuck here for ten minutes… waiting. Anything could be going on inside there. Shit, what if he gets shot? Or kidnapped?? You covered your mouth at the thought, no that can’t happen. He seemed too cocky to be easily fought against.

Left with your thoughts, you couldn’t keep the idea of the FBI agent’s figure off your mind. I mean, you’re not saying he’s hot or anything but… well. Can you blame yourself? What else should you be thinking about when you just gave a ride to some guy and possibly put him in danger. You would never be able to forgive yourself if something happened to him, even if he asked you to.

“Maybe I should go,” You tell yourself before shaking your head. “No.. no he told me to wait here, just 8 more minutes.” You stared at the clock inside your car and anxiously stuff your phone inside your coat pocket. “Screw this” You mutter before getting out.

----

You take a risky corner, entering the blindspot which the woman had disappeared into when you were in the car. A gust of wind blew your way, the chills growing goosebumps on your skin as the anticipation waited. God bless all the seasons of Criminal Minds you had watched, you felt like you were prepared for anything. In fact, the building you stepped into was completely empty. Tip-toeing into the place, you hid yourself between two storage containers before you could feel it shift a bit.

A few groans and sounds of stress were heard from inside. Was there more than one person here? You feel your heartbeat out of your chest, back pressed against the metal container as you slid closer to its entrance.

It was when the container moved that you couldn’t hide any longer, an uncalled gasp pasted your lips and blew your cover.

“Is someone else here?” You heard a woman’s voice ask, your fingers growing numb as you felt yourself exposed.

When you found yourself in broad attention, you saw the person Felix was looking for heading towards you, gun in her hand, and a fierce look in her eyes. “Who’s this?”

Over the person’s shoulder, you could see Felix bunched up in the corner of the container, hands over his stomach as a patch of blood started to build upon his side. His eyes showed fear as he gestured his head to run, but you knew you couldn’t leave him like this.

“I asked, who are you, sweetie?” The woman asked again before finally stepping in front of you.

Peeked over to see Felix again, you scrunch your fingers up in a fist trying to blow off some heat.

“I… I’m-” Grabbing your pepper spray bottle around your neck, you sprayed the woman’s eyes causing her to fall on the floor. Once she fell you quickly kicked the gun out of her hands, grabbing the weapon and running towards Felix. You could hear the woman groan in pain but you could care less.

“Are you okay?” You asked, grabbing his arm and throwing it over your shoulder.

“Yeah I’m fine” Felix panted out, his eyes wincing in pain. “Just be careful, there’s guards on the other doors so use that entrance, it’s closer to your car”

You made your best attempt to leave the room as soon as possible, the exit was just a few steps closer but the woman who was once blinded with pepper spray was now up on her feet.

“OI, DID YOU NOT HEAR ME SCREAMING?” She exclaimed, calling at the guards from each exit. You quickly slid in between two containers, pulling Felix in front of you.

Felix looked to the side, the awkward positioning giving you two no space. You could only look at him in the midst of events. His face filled with freckles, brown eyes, lightly shaded features and blonde hair. You clenched your jaw, trying to keep yourself together as a guard passed by you two.

You felt a wet patch growing on your chest, causing you to look down at Felix’s wound. The chest to chest contact had not only gotten your cheeks pink but also your coat, fancy. As soon as the guards followed the girl, Felix tapped your shoulder and pointed at the exit as you assisted him out.

“We have to be quick, the guards are probably looking for us” He panted as he let go of you, opening the door as you ran to your driver’s seat.

“Is that a bullet wound?? You’re bleeding so much, do I call 911?” You exclaimed, looking at him for a response.

“Just drive!” Felix exclaimed, watching as the guards started the move out of the building.

“Fuck, fuck!!” You screamed, pressing on the accelerator as the car backed up. You shook in fear when you felt your car being shot. “Felix, I already told you this shit isn’t bulletproof!! It’s just a freaking Toyota!!” You cried out, watching as the bodyguards chased towards you.

Felix pulled out a gun from under his jeans before opening the window and shooting at the guards. “Keep going, it’s fine” He puffed out before you could finally meet the road. You quickly changed gears to drive and found yourself on a crowded street.

“Felix! Felix?” You asked, looking to your right to find him clenching onto his shirt. “Shit, you’re bleeding even more, should I drive to the hospital?”

“No, no just pull over” He whispered back, “Check if we lost them and pull over, if not go to a hotel nearby”

Thanks to your years of being a taxi driver, you knew the streets like the back of your hand. Making a few turns you found yourself at a motel that your friend owned. You pulled up at the drive-thru, soon realizing that Felix was next to you.

Trying your best to cover him with your figure, you thanked your friend and grabbed a key to an empty room.

----

“Oh my god, that’s so- eek!” You screeched as Felix removed the bullet from his waist.

Turning around, you felt a similar pain growing on your side just from the sight of Felix’s injury.

“It’s over, you can look now” Felix rolled his eyes, laying back on the bed carefully so he wouldn’t stain the sheets.

You turned around, slowly opening your eyes to find him resting against the bedrest. “Umm, I can go chill with my friend downstairs if you want to relax that… seems pretty serious”

“No it’s fine, you can stay in bed with me if you’d like”

“I mean, wait what?!”

Felix smirked at your response, chuckling in pain as his laughs caused pained to his stomach. “Oh come on, I saw the way you were checking me out earlier”

You gasped at his words, “What a cocky bitch. This is coming from the same guy who said ‘If you don’t see me in ten, try calling the police, but I doubt you’ll have to do that’” You mocked in his deep voice.

“Hey- it was your problem for not waiting ten minutes. If you had waited I’m sure I would’ve found a way out of there”

“Excuse me?” You asked sarcastically, walking towards him. “Oh were you not going to thank me for saving your life right now?”

Felix sat up on the bed, his lips inches away from yours before whispering “Would you like me to?”

You pushed him back in his place before crossing your arms. Felix did the same, crossing his arms and closing his eyes as he grabbed onto the sheet. “ I think the injury is getting worse even after I took out the bullet”

“It seriously doesn’t hurt?” You asked, eyeing the cut and clothes torn with blood, the white material of his suit slowly dissipating. “Maybe we should clean it up” You run to the bathroom to grab some towels, filling a bath bowl with water and returning.

“Here,” You said, handing him the things before he could close his eyes.

“I don’t think I can do it myself, can you?”

You look back down at the clothed wound, dipping the cloth in water and dabbing it.

“I swear to god, take off the shirt please” He groans, arching his back at the contact of cold water.

You feel a gulp down your throat as you slowly unbutton his white shirt, his broad sweaty chest being exposed before revealing the wound for itself.

Watching his facial expressions, you slowly clean up the bullet wound and remove his shirt so you could cool him down with the hot water.

“Thank you” He mutters out, “Thank you for not freaking out on me, it’s honestly surprising that you didn’t ask me when I’m calling for backup… or how you even trusted me in the first place”

“It’s fine, today would’ve been another Saturday I supposed if I wasn’t saving some FBI agent’s life”

Felix chuckled at your response, “Taxi driver huh? You don’t seem fit for the job”

“Oh really? It’s been three years and I’m doing just fine. What do you see me as?”

Felix’s eyebrows wrinkled in thought before he could answer, “Maybe an FBI agent… in fact, would you like to be my partner?”

#so... what do you guys think of this BAHHA #felix au #lee felix au #lee felix fics #felix fics #lee felix imagines #felix imagines #skz au #stray kids au #stray kids fics #skz fics #stray kids imagines #skz imagines #skz drabbles #stray kids drabbles #felix drabbles #lee felix drabbles

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mysticalmusicwhispers · 4 years ago

Note

HELLO... i am back

yes aditya gets a treat because otherwise indus is going to murder him and then transfer him far far away and never unground him ever and we can't do that to a baby. also i hope no actual murder of chickens occur in their plot thing but it could also be something Worse so Yikes!

i wish yao didn't know what a hickey is but. welp he would. actually this makes me propose a situation (nsfw-ish? implied nsfw?): nyo china buys encyclopedias for yao to read and one very old one has a section with a full diagram of sexual intercourse. it isn't porn, it's those diagrams where the skin is missing and serves as a view into the organs of the human body but just in a... position. so 8 year old yao reads all about sex and goes to nyo china being like "hey so sex is for making babies right? so if i want children i have to have sex right? there's no opting out of it?" and nyo china is like fuck it the kid might as well get his sex ed + introduction to adoption stuff now since he knows about it already. then the next day a teacher has a badly hidden hickey and yao is trying to figure out how the fuck that happened before he remembers that certain animals bite each other during sex and asks nyo china about it.. and then boom. (the encyclopedia part was unfortunately inspired by irl events 😔)

but anyway imagine yao mistranslating the code.. and being like "wtf why do you want to BITE people" and india + iran being like ??? and then they get an unfortunate sex ed that night (baby! yao's mildly inaccurate version: "sometimes weirdos like biting each other during sex many animals do this as well and this is called a hickey. sex is this thing that adults do for fun and sometimes to reproduce. but you should only bite other people and have sex with them if all of you are interested and not just because you want a baby, because there are other ways of getting one. if they try to have sex with you or bite you or touch you in Bad Touch areas you should -" "kill them? and get an adult later?" "yeah exactly" "how do you know this tho??") then yao probably tries to find the sex encyclopedia to bring to school to show india and iran but nyo china threw it out because it was 20 years out of date and said that pluto was a planet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

also YES MISS VIETNAM DESTROY THE PROPERTY OF THE RICH... CUT HIM DOWN TO SIZE imagine getting 2 entire ass houses at 18 lol and there was actually a person who was going to get a mercedes in my class. apparently his parents were buying 2 and wanted him to pick the one with the colour he liked more as a gift at 18 and keep the other for themselves. he asked us which colour Mercedes was better, someone accused him of being a braggart, and then there was so much drama... i am glad i am no longer in that class. rich people.

also yeah miss vietnam is definitely one of those nice but strict teachers!! she'll definitely be kind to everyone but she won't tolerate bullshit and god knows yao is full of it. but also imagine vietnam teaching india's class and then yao pouting to india about the assignment he got a b on (a slight improvement from the c) only to be met with "what? she's so nice and smart lol you're just an asshole i kind of want to make friends with her tbh" and yao's like How Dare You Backstab Me Like This? but yes she really forces him to Think instead of just letting him be and that's very good for him!! and she gets an intellectual outlet too :D

also yeah like linh is going to struggle.. how do you write "he's a complete asshole but tolerable and intellectually fun after a while" in a GOOD manner?? this rec letter will probably be full of phrases like "a spirited personality given to debate" or something

This is also a late reply :’)

I wasn’t really thinking about anything specific for the plot; I was really just trying to find a word that was slightly similar to hickey and decided on a dead chicken lmao. But honestly, it would probably be something like “I’m going to bring a (dead) chicken to class for show and tell and you two need to act horrified and cause a ruckus because it would be fun and it would scare the other kids :)”. (this is probably bullying, so in an effort to make them slightly better kids, an alternative plot is that a stray cat has been coming to their school and in order to make friends with it, they feed it a whole-ass dead chicken Nyo China got from the butchers and was planning to cook for dinner. The teachers are horrified and confiscate Yao’s backpack for fear of germs and salmonella.)

THE ENCYCLOPEDIA OH MY GOD nyo China, miss, please, he’s young. But the encyclopedia reading is so accurate o-o small and independent Yao + voracious reader + lots and lots of books about Everything + nyo China’s hands-off “it’s never too early to know” caretaking/parenting strategy = what other things has he been exposed to... (let’s face it he’s probably said the F-word or insulted someone in Mandarin without meaning to, but came off as a disrespectful little chaos ball) BUT THE BADLY HIDDEN HICKEY and the ANIMALS BITING EACH OTHER salk;fsdl;ksdjl way to unconsciously roast your teacher lmao. I love nyo China’s no-nonsense way of approaching Strange Questions Asked by Eight Year Olds but I do not know how to feel about her very direct answers 😭 Also, I am very sorry for your personal loss 😔.

Scene 3 is 100/10 canon now. “weirdos who bite each other during sex” Yao thinks hickeys are weird, and good for him. Also the little summary!! Of course Yao pass on everything he knows to India and Iran... at least it’s not a fucked up version of sex-ed, even if it may have some small inaccuracies. rip outdated encyclopedia. Also “ ‘kill them? And get an adult later?’ ‘yeah exactly’” GOOD nyo china thank you for doing at least one thing correctly

also your class is crazy??? A MERCEDES oh my god... how do his parents love him so much? My parents probably wouldn’t even trust me with a second hand from 2005 lmao. Also, wtf rich kid, why would you be crowdsourcing opinions for YOUR car? (ngl I kinda think he was bragging too 😂, but drama? Do all these people have nothing else to do besides gossip smh)

Vietnam has a blacklist of Confirmed Assholes she needs to keep an eye on and Yao got on the list in the first few days after being very tryhard and simultaneously arrogant, so he just assumes she’s naturally mean because he never saw the other side of her. But then he starts hearing reviews from his friends who all say she’s their favorite teacher so far and he’s all like “????? Excuse you???” Also yes go get her friendship Aditya hopefully it will mellow you out a little as well “A spirited personality given to debate” YES YES YES! That sounds like such a nice phrase but it’s just code for “loves to argue with me and that’s cool I guess”. The recommendation makes Yao glow (to admissions) despite how much Vietnam thinks it’s bad and also how much bs-ing she thought she did. Admissions officers think Yao’s amazing and contributes greatly to the classroom environment and Vietnam is like “yeah, in a way, as long as you don’t mind someone who thinks every word you say is somehow wrong and will fight you to prove it lol. just take him, I’m trying to get rid of him”

Since there’s essays involved I’m assuming she teaches either history or literature? Kinda on the fence because I feel like she’d be good at giving a no-nonsense version of history filled with interesting details and prompts that make you think (and also hosts monthly debates on controversial issues), but I also want Yao to be as un-confident as possible in his abilities in her class, and I feel like he would be less comfortable/sure of his answers and thoughts in a lit class than a history one. I’m not sure though

#the ancients elementary #musings #luyous #aph china #side note i love how we're literally penpaling over the internet. both of us take a few days to process the ask and then respond and i find #it hilarious and amazing. thanks bones lol <3 :)#to process the ask/reply*#also you have no idea how much i was laughing reading this so thank you for that too 😂#hws china #aph vietnam #hws vietnam #hetalia #hws #aph #nyo china #fem china #headcanon musings #ask musings #answered

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druddigoon · 5 years ago

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so i’m supposed to be working on scholarship applications but instead of writing 500 words on why i should receive money (bc i’m poor) i typed out 1.4k words of bederia smh

anyways cheeky au where bede feels feelings

--------------------------

> Nervousness, worry; something heavy building up in the heart, weighed down like a lagging tail; the bearer of bad news. Guilt.

Bede lifts his arm up the second Gloria makes a move to get up from the couch.

“Leaving?” he says.

“Yeah.” It’s little more than an act nowadays, less for his benefit than Gloria’s. “It’s going to take at least a week to travel to and back from the dynamax sightings they want me to investigate, and I’d rather arrive back in time to catch the tail end of that fair you’re helping set up.”

She’s wading her way around the coffee table when he grabs her hand.

> Guilt, stronger now. Concern, rolling off in waves; can’t take deep breaths when the water line’s over your head. Resolve, don’t look back. No fear.

No fear? Fear and concern usually go hand in hand. If she’s worried about running into a dangerous situation, why isn’t she scared about it?

It takes him a while to realize she’s worried over him.

“I’m not mad at you,” he blurts out, “This is your job, you’re the only one qualified enough to handle dens over five stars, and you’re doing it so Galar can be safe. I’d be an idiot to get mad at that.”

“I know, I just wish it doesn’t have to be--” Gloria cuts herself off in the middle of her sentence.

Doesn’t have to be like this. There were a lot of things that didn't have to be: Bede’s disqualification, the Eternatus incident, Gloria’s stepping down a year into her championship. Wistful ideations did not rewrite the stars. Both knew it very well.

> Melancholy. Guilt loses its edge, dips down into resignation.

She’s staring at the cluster of mushrooms starting to grow from the ceiling, glowing gentle hues of pink, blue, and green. For the umpteenth time, Bede wishes he could read thoughts instead of emotions. Doesn’t have to be like this.

He sighs, lets go of her hand. “Come on. I’ll come to see you off at Hammerlocke.”

--------------------------

Rule Number One: Never talk about your ability.

Rule Number Two: Avoid touching anyone unless absolutely necessary.

Those were the two fundamental laws Bede set for himself during his time in the orphanage. Stories too grotesque to be put into words, stark terror and raw emotion. They blurred together to the point where he stopped caring--stopped reaching out, beat or intimidated anyone who tried to him. He withdrew.

Compassion fatigue, he’d heard the social workers discuss, after his main caretaker quit. Emotional exhaustion leading to a decreased ability to feel empathy for others. The cost of care. He often wondered if he had that too, how others’ emotions were often so strong it had washed away his own, the dull ringing in his ears after he lost contact. Or maybe he’d always been like this.

The first rule was broken when he accused his foster father of cheating, when he gave him a slap on the back after coming home from “work”. A day later he was picked up by Oleana, and told he’d shake hands with Macro Cosmos’s pawns during meetings.

The second rule spiralled downwards when he accidentally bumped into a challenger, back in Galar Mine No 1.

It’s such a hassle. So much easier to hate someone when he doesn’t know them. Rose is a man brimming with hope for the future, too bright to hold in a handshake for long. Oleana, once her obsessiveness and exhaustion and contempt for Bede has been whittled away from the manicured fingernails digging into his shoulder, is a woman who adores her saviour ever since the day he took her off the streets. He remembers the pity officers doled against his skin when they had to restrain him to be brought back to the orphanage, the desperation of a slipping boy when Hop’s knuckles bit into his lip.

So much easier to hate when they weren’t all so human.

--------------------------

In Ballonlea, where the sun fails to filter through the thick canopy of trees, time loses its grip. There is no such thing as a day and night cycle when all light comes from bioluminescent mushrooms, shining here before you were born and after you leave.

Hammerlocke, in contrast, seems to be bathed in the light of the sun. Dying rays outline castle walls against a wash of red and gold, and shadows stretch over corners, gothic. The air is warm; he’d read somewhere that the obsidian masonry was designed to absorb heat during the day and release it at night, which saves them from temperature fluctuations as a mainland city near the wild area. Save for a few stragglers, the streets are empty.

Bede is the first to arrive at the pokemon centre, teleported by his hatterene.

Gloria wouldn’t arrive in a few minutes--she always liked taking the corvitaxi, watching the region pass by beneath her. Bede would accompany her if he didn’t have motion sickness. The last time they rode together had been...messy.

He’s flipping through a curry catalogue in the lobby when she bursts in, windblown hair and old leather bag and all.

“Sorry, I had to take a detour to get my stuff. Completely forgot about that, or I’d have brought them to your house.” Golisopod lumbers in after, bags comically hanging on its upturned scutes. “Hope you didn’t wait long?”

Bede checks his rotom-phone. Half an hour, but she doesn’t need to know that. “Yes, a whole fucking two minutes. I thought you were fine spending a month in the woods wearing the same clothes, eating berries and roots like a neanderthal.”

“Oh, I hope Sylveon pukes on your pillow tonight.” The jab didn’t have much force to it, and he doesn’t need to touch her to see her stress; they’ve been around each other long enough for him to notice the incessant tic of her right foot, how she keeps running one hand over another as a soothing gesture, in the absence of his.

(It’s endearing. He usually looks down at people who fail to disguise their fears, sees them as weak of will, but this is Gloria. She’s the girl who’d faced and captured gods, the girl known to take on the most unstable regions of the wild area and come out alive; she’s also the girl who released them after making sure they wouldn’t cause harm, the girl fretting not because she might be risking her life, but because Bede will miss her. It’s cute.)

He sees her off at the Hammerlocke gates. Gloria has her back to him, checking maps, while her golisopod is already making its way down the stairs. The gap between them seems to be growing wider, and he wants nothing more than to reach for her shoulder.

That would be crossing a boundary. They’d talked extensively about his ability, and she’d said yes, it’s okay to touch her, she had nothing to hide from him. But just because he has her consent doesn’t mean he’s privy to her feelings at the moment.

Gloria closes her map, taking one step down the stairs.

Another step. Stops.

She looks back.

Whatever she sees on Bede’s face makes her turn around and run towards him. He doesn’t get a single word in before she throws her arms around him, almost barreling him over.

> Courage, the strength to keep walking even though each step is a battle; confidence, the rain that washes away all doubt; hope, the fiercest of them all, a steady mantra of We’ll be okay.

He grips her tight, wishes for once he could speak his emotions like she’s speaking hers. Settles for balling all his conviction into a whisper. “You’re going to do phenomenal, you’re going to pummel whatever that dynamax pokemon is without breaking a sweat, and I’ll wake up a week from now with a million messages of how you kicked their ass. Don’t worry about me.”

He can feel her smile from the shift of her cheek. “And I’m going to come back to Ballonlea’s first town fair sensationalised on the headlines of every media site, and finally get to ride on a ferris wheel that isn’t always ‘out of order’ like Wyndon’s is, because you did a great job bossing people and pokemon around. Don’t worry about me.”

They let go.

Gloria heads down the stairs to her golisopod. His skin burns warm as he watches them meet up, as they round the corner, until they are gone.

#drudwrites #bederia #bede #gloria #fuck tumblr formatting

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lifesruiner · 5 years ago

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three times Ricky made Nini jealous, and one he didn't

So now I am watching hsmtmts and i’ve grown fond of these two and I wrote one thing and i hope i dont drop it and let it die like i always do and continue writing more shit or whatever hehehe anyways hope you enjoy

A/N: So after 1x06 when Ricky actually made Nini jealous three times (smh) I came up with this, hope you enjoyed and any feedback is well recieved. as always, a mess, not proofreading sorry

"Okay, so I need volunteers for cleaning all this mess, I see two rising hands?" Miss Jenn said looking over the group of teenagers who just finished painting the scenography for their play, they all had their face down avoiding eye contact "Mhh Troy and stage manager, thank you very much, the rest go clean yourself I don't want you late to class and Mr Mazzara come with his annoyance" Miss Jenn said dismissing all the class, but Ricky cursed to himself, why all the shitty things happened to him? What kind of curse did he have on him?

"Aww, I was just about to volunteer but you won me, so good luck" Nini teased him, while cleaning her hands with a tissue

"You can still do it, and I can go to do anything but that" Ricky answers back, he was happy the tension between them was disappearing slowly

"Nah, I think I'll pass, maybe next time" She joked throwing the tissue softly at him, and he catch it with a tight smile knowing that was her cue of exit

"At least I have you to make this less painfully" Ricky told his best friend who was walking towards him

"Bro, I really cant be late to Mr Mazzara, he is gonna send me to summer school if I get another D" Big Red concern was all over his face and Ricky knew he wasn't lying

"I can help" Gina stood from behind them

"Is it for real or is a mean joke?" Ricky asked him causing her to roll her eyes

"I'm not so heartless to make him go to summer school and you cleaning all this alone" Gina bickered back and Ricky chuckled knowing that she was actually a softie deep down

"Gina I owe you my life" Big Red said holding her by her shoulders

"So don't really owe me much eh?" She joked and Ricky laugh, he was more used to her kinda dark sense of humor "I'm joking" she clarified after seeing Big Red's pout "I'll charge you a sub someday, now hurry to class" and with that Big Red disappeared from their sight

"You are actually super sweet when you want to" Ricky said while starting to picking up some paint buckets

"I know I am a sweetheart, plus, Big Red could chat anyone with those huge puppy eyes"

"Is that or you just wanted some time alone with the Rickster?" Ricky teased and she laughed alone

"Please call yourself that way again, but let me record you now" Gina said without stoping her laugh

"Nah, that was a once in a life time opportunity and now it's gone, puff" He mimicked something flying away with his hand "And I'll take your silence as a yes"

"In your dreams Rickster" Gina joked pushing softly a bucket toward him, but hard enough that some drops splashed and crashed to his face, they both opened their mouths in surprise

"I'm so sorry" Gina said covering her mouth with her hands to cover her laugh

"You didn't" Ricky said shocked while Gina kept apologizing "You know what that means right?"

He said and Gina opened her eyes big in surprise "Ricky no!"

"Ricky yes!" He said pressing his fingertips covered in paint in one of her cheeks

"This is war Bowens" Gina said and they both started chasing one and another trying to paint eachother the most they could, then they felt someone clearing their throat at the entrance

"Nini!" Ricky exclaimed leaving his bucket on the floor and stopping immediately

"I forgot my cellphone here" She said crossing the classroom towards the piano to pick it up, once she put it in her backpack she stared walking towards the exit when she stopped suddenly "By the way, this seems exactly the opposite as tiding things up, I don't think Miss Jenn would agree with this"

"We were jus about to-" Ricky started saying but was interrupted

"I don't care Ricky, as I already told you, you do you" And with that Nini walked out of the room.

"So what do you think?" Ricky asked Nini enthusiastic, all the theater kids were having lunch together chatting about the play

"I think it's really really good idea actually" Nini said and Ricky almost jumped out of his skin

"So we can see at my house and practice the second act tomorrow afternoon?" Ricky asked, his eyes were shining bright and for one moment Nini wanted to stare at them forever

"Actually, I have a play date with grandma and my moms, but what about the following day?"

"Yes perfect" Rocky agreed happily but suddenly felt a soft elbow on his ribs

"Hmm Ricky, remember that we already made plans for that day?" Gina day softly but loud enough for Nini to hear

"Oh god, I totally forgot it, I am so sorry" Ricky was looking between the two of them apologetic and that pissed Nini off, how was possible he didn't choose her over Gina, they barely knew each other for a couple of weeks, doubts were painted all over Ricky face

"It's okay, forget it, I practice my stuff on my own and you on your own and then we see here" Nini said collecting here things fast

"No wait, Nini that's not the idea" Ricky was pouting, Nini could have just smack her lips against his in that moment if she wasn't so mad

"I don't wanna ruin your plans with your..." Nini said looking at Gina from head to toe "friend" And then walked off the table with Kourtney following her close

When Nini entered the room she could saw immediately that something was off with Ricky, she sat next to him "Hey" she bumped his shoulder softly with hers

"Hi" He gave her a sincere smile, thought not one of those characteristic Ricky's smile that could light up the entire room

"I wanna ask if you are okay, but I know you aren't, so I just wanna tell you that no matter how the things are between us, you can always, and I mean ALWAYS can count on me" Nini almost whispered so only he could hear and his smile started to become brighter and brighter

"It still amaze me how you can still know what's up with me better than anyone" He said and Nini's heart skipped a beat when he was looking at her with those huge puppy eyes, she just nodded and held his hand over the table

"Hey, sorry to interrupt, you left this at my house" Gina said giving Ricky his hoodie back, when Nini recognized the situation she took her hand off of his immediately

"You stayed at hers?" Nini asked with her mouth open, Ricky saw she was hurt somehow

"My couch obviously, it's not what you are thinking" Gina was fast to answer

"I am thinking that you needed someone and instead of coming to me like you always used to, you went to her Ricky!" Nini exclaimed offended

"Oh okay, it's exactly what you are thinking then" Gina answered jokinglyback and both Ricky and Nini shoot her with their eyes

"It's just that I was talking to her when the shit went down at home and she invited me over" Ricky was fast yo defend himself

"No, don't explain me, you don't owe me shit" Nini nodded, hurt painted all over her face "After this I know we are not even friends as I thought so keep your explanations to yourself and your new best friend or whatever" She said picking up her backpack and walking off the classroom

"Nini wait please!" Ricky begged

"Fuck off Bowens" She has never called Ricky by his last name, it's like she wanted for him to be an stranger, she really wished that

+1/

He knew where he would find her, he entered to the empty theater where she always went to play with the piano when she was feeling down. He made her feel down and he was hating himself for that.

"Hey" He greeted her softly, she looked up at him with her eyebrows furrowed

"Leave me alone" She said focusing back at the piano

"I tried Nini, I really tried to do it and now you are mad at me" He said giving some steps towards here but she ignored him "Nini I tried to be always there, I entered drama club, I did everything to be Troy and spend time with you and that made you mad, then I thought some space would be enough for you to think more about us and see that we are destined to be together but it also made you mad! Please Nini tell me what to do because this is driving me crazy and I just can't keep handling you being mad at me"

"And why do you care? Anyways you have Gina to always run back to her" Nini snapped back pressing some keys to the piano making a loud noice

"What does Gina have to do with this, she is my friend and nothing more" Ricky defended himself throwing his arms in the air exasperation growing in him

"Well it definitely look like more, you are always together, I mean you spent the night at her place!" That was the thing that most irritated Nini, not because she thought they did something, but that Ricky went to her when he needed a scape, and Nini always thought they were each other's scape from reality when needed

"She is going through something similar, plus you seemed so mad at me the last time, I didn't want to bother you and make you ever madder at me" Ricky explained himself, with each word he was getting closer and closer to Nini

"There you go, and perfect Gina would never get mad at you" She said standing up now and looked down "Just go to her like you are getting used to"

"I don't wanna go to Gina!" Ricky said almost screaming

"Why not now?"

"Because I'm in love with you, not her!" Now he definitely was shouting, Nini heard that loud and clear and surprised was painted in the face of both.

There they were, Ricky just saying he is in love with Nini, if he would have said that four mounts ago oh how many problems they would have saved themselves

"Do... do you...?" Miraculously Nini was found out of words, and Ricky's reality hit him hard, he loved Nini, more than anything and now he won't shut up about the fact that he felt that way

"Yes, I don't not love you" He said, shy smile climbing on his face and Nini swore she could kiss him right there, and seemed like her feet heard her because suddenly she was standing right in from of him with her hands around his nick and their lips crashing together.

#my writing #hsmtmts writing #rini #hsmtmts #ricky bowens #nini salazar roberts #gina porter #disney #otp #ship #baby community #rini au #hsmtmts au #fanfic #hsmtmts fanfic #rina #brotp

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watchmegetobsessed · 6 years ago

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I only need you - Shawn Mendes

okay warning, it is extremely SMUTTY, some bossy, dominant shawn for yall, hope you’ll like it! also, listen to this song while reading, i kept it on repeat while writing ahh so good! (its lost in fire by the weeknd, for some reason the video is not showing in the app, just on pc smh im bad at html editing) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGDGdRIxvd0

youtube

If it wasn’t for the huge space and no neighbors anywhere near, the two of them would already be in big trouble for the fight they’ve been putting on. Not holding back the screams, the cussing and the swearing they keep throwing everything at us, verbally.

“I can’t fucking do anything about it!” Shawn barks over the whole place, standing next to the black sofa. Y/N’s answer screams back immediately.

“You just refuse to do anything! Admit it, you enjoy having all those women all over you all the time!”

Her chest hurts from all the screaming she’s been doing, this fight has been going on for an hour, ever since they set their feet into the condo. It’s the same old thing, only that so much piled up lately, so many unsaid things and hidden feelings that both of them are blowing up from all the emotions pouring out of them.

“I can’t be rude, you know that! I have a reputation, I can’t act like a dick just because my girlfriend is jealous!”

Shawn’s fingers comb through his hair, his locks are starting to get wet because the heat of the argument is affecting him physically as well. He is sweating, his muscles keep flexing and loosening up as he is trying his best to control himself, but he is very close to lose his patience.

“I don’t fucking care about your reputation! Saying no is not rude! It’s like you don’t even want to care about the fact that we are in a relationship!”

Tears are dwelling up in her eyes, stinging them hard and she turns away so he can’t see how bad it’s affecting her at this point. Shawn throws his hands into the air in disbelief.

“I’m not caring?! So everything I’ve done means nothing just because I let a woman touch my arm?!”

“It wasn’t just a touch!” She screams at him turning around, not caring about being seen while crying. She rushes over to him, closing the distance between them and she pushes on his chest. It’s not powerful enough to actually do anything to him, but she just needs to get out all the anger that’s boiling in her veins. “She was basically fucking you right there! I saw with my fucking eyes, Shawn! She pushed her ass to your crotch and it took you moments to push her away! Don’t try to make a fool out of me!”

Her hands keep slamming against his hard chest, her cheeks are reddening from all the straining she is putting into her actions. Shawn is trying to get a hold on her wrists, but she just keeps fighting, but soon her anger turns into desperate sobs and lunatic hits on her shocked boyfriend. He has never seen her like this, so lost and outraged, all the shine is gone from her eyes, endless sadness took over her entire body making her appear as a whole new person and this is worrying him. Did he really go too far? He should have realized how bad he was hurting her.

“Babe, stop it!” he growl finally getting a hold on her hands, but she makes another attempt to free them. Unfortunately her energy is long gone, she can’t hold herself together anymore.

“I hate when you do this to me! I hate it!” she sobs uncontrollably, guttural noises roll out of her throat as he wraps his arms around her body pulling her against his chest.

She tries to fight him one more time, but the attempt is pathetic, she gives up and buries her face into his shirt. “Do you not love me anymore?” she questions, her mouth pressed against his chest so the words come out muffled, but he understands them clearly. “Am I… Am I not pretty enough for you anymore?”

Shawn pushes her away just so he can see her tear-soaked face. The emotions on her face are turning so fast, he is losing track of them.

A moment ago she was feeling like the most worthless person on Earth, but right now, it’s all gone. She is getting angry again. He will not play her that dirty, she is the one in charge and she definitely won’t let her man even think about another woman in the way only she can.

“Babe, I-“ he starts but she cuts him off shaking her head.

“Do you think you are the only one with other choices? Do you think I wouldn’t find someone else in a blink of an eye?”

Her words hit a painful spot. His hands curl up into fists as he is staring at her taking a few steps backwards. He definitely doesn’t want the thought of the woman he is in love with have another man on her.

“Stop,” he pleads, but his words have no use now.

“Do you think I wouldn’t be able to find a dick with just a text? Because just like that whore rubbed herself on you, I can rub myself on a guy whenever I want.”

“Y/N, stop it!” he growls in a more aggressive way, but she hasn’t had enough just yet. She wants to make him feel the same way she did.

“I would have a man boning me in no time, I would be screaming his name, not yours, he would pleasure me like you can’t and-“

This time she doesn’t have the chance to finish. Shawn closes the distance between them, his large hands grab on her forearms probably stronger than they should, but the pain feels like nothing to her now.

“Shut the fuck up!” he barks demandingly and then the bubble pops.

His lips crash to hers and captures them in a bruising kiss. Instead of fighting him off, she immediately returns the passionate kiss. Grabbing onto his broad shoulders she jumps into his arms, his hands slide under his ass holding her up as her legs wrap around his waist tightly.

Taking a few steps her back hits the wall and a moan escapes her already swollen lips as his crotch presses against her heated center. Fingers digging into her ass his mouth travels down her throat, leaving open-mouthed kisses and even quite a few hickeys to mark his territory.

“No one can fucking touch you like me,” he growls in an animal-like tone as he takes her to the next spot. He lays her down on the kitchen counter and she wastes no time to start undressing him. Her tiny fingers are working fast, but not fast enough. His large ones replace them ripping the shirt open, making all the buttons to fly in a million directions. Her hands cup his naked chest as he tugs the shirt off of his arms and throws it away before getting back to her plump lips. His teeth sink into her flesh, tugging on her bottom lip as his hands work on her shirt. He goes slightly lighter on hers, but it still end up on the floor abandoned.

She leans back on her arms, pushing her chest upwards so he can have a great view of her breasts in the light pink lacy bra. His hands cup them immediately, leaning down he leaves a hickey on each of them, sucking and biting down on her soft skin, making her moan in pleasure again and again.

“Oh fuck!” She gasps when he pushes his waist closer and she can feel how hard he is already.

Shawn unclasps the bra and soon throws it away leaving her chest completely bare to his greedy eyes. He starts sucking on her right nipple while his fingers work on the left one, giving both of them enough attention. Y/N is shivering under his touch, she is growing hotter and hotter with each passing moment, but she wouldn’t stop for anything.

Her hands fumble with his belt and as soon as it clicks she unzips his pants and pushes them down along with his bowers as well. He finishes up the work getting rid of them in no time, leaving him in all of his naked glory, his dick erecting towards her proudly, and she eyes it as if it was a five course meal.

“Lift your hips up,” he orders in a harsh tone and a chill runs down on her spine at the bossy attitude, but she obeys anyway. Her black pants soon disappear along with her matching lacy thong that was already starting to soak.

His lower half slams against hers, his dick sliding right between her wet folds as she wraps her legs around his waist. His hands are roaming her body, touching and digging his fingers into everywhere as his lips return to her breasts. When his hot tongue touches her left nipple her whole body shivers immediately, making her head roll back.

“No one will ever make you feel this good,” he growls against her hot skin as his lips start traveling down on her stomach. Her fingers tangle in his locks, getting a handful of his hair as his mouth reaches her clit finally.

His fingers part her wet folds as his tongue laps against her heated clit, making her moan uncontrollably.

“Oh fuck, Shawn!”

Without mercy, he slides two fingers into her, never stopping playing with her clit and it makes her scream in pleasure. She reaches down wanting to add to the sensation but he immediately grabs onto her hands stopping everything he has been doing.

“No fucking touching!” he demands forcing her to look into his eyes. His hazel irises have turned into the darkest brown.

She nods weakly, then he guides her hands to her knees.

“Hold your legs up for me,” he tells her and she obeys without a word. She has never seen him like this, full of orders and so dominant, but she is definitely enjoying this new side of him.

His two fingers return and his tongue delves inside as well, throwing her completely off the hoop. She whimpers and moves around as he starts pumping his fingers in and out, reaching that one bundle of nerve inside of her again and again.

“Fuck!” she moans leaning and then finally lying down on the kitchen island. She is starting to get close to her orgasm, she is begging for release, but before she could let go he abruptly stops, making her crave more immediately.

“Now get on your knees, babygirl,” he orders and lifting her head up she can see him standing between her legs, one hand wrapped around his massive cock as he is pumping himself lazily, looking down at her exposed body with hungry eyes.

She doesn’t question him, putting her legs down she hops off the counter kneeling down in front of him, her face right at his hard dick.

His hand unwraps letting her small ones replace it. She has never wanted to have a dick in her mouth this bad in her entire life, but right now, she feels like if she doesn’t suck him she might die right here, right now.

Her hands hug his base as she licks the head, teasing him a bit. Her tongue is playing with it, her lips only barely touching him.

“Fuck,” he growls and looking up at him she sees him stare down at her with endless lust in his eyes. This alone sends chills down her spine and bobbing her head down she takes in as much of him as possible, then coming back she releases him with a pop earning a pleasure filled moan from him.

She repeats it, her hands moving up and down at the base in sync with her lips, slowly picking up the pace. A few times she flinches her eyes as she tries to take him fully in, his dick reaching the back of her throat making her gag.

Staring down at her he thinks this is one of the most beautiful sights he has ever seen in his entire life. The woman he loves with her lips wrapped around his cock, sucking him so passionately as if she was born to do this.

When he feels like he is close to coming he pulls her face away from him not wanting to finish in her mouth. He helps her up kissing him hard as he lifts her up into his arms and walks to the sofa with her.

Laying her down he gets on top of her, his dick pressed against her throbbing center. His lips continue kissing her as he starts moving his lips making his cock slide between her soaking wet folds, his head thrusting against her clit from time to time, making her moan into his mouth.

“Shawn, please!” she begs desperately.

“Please what?” He gets a hold of his shaft positioning himself right to her entrance, but he doesn’t move.

“Please, I need you.”

“You need me to do what?” he teases, clearly satisfied with how much affection he has over her.

“Please fuck me!” she growl irritated. The fire in her body is eating her up alive, she needs to have him inside her immediately.

“Do you still want another dick to bone you?” he asks bitterly, referring to her previous words.

“Fuck no, I only need you!” Her arms wrap around his neck pulling him down for an open-mouthed kiss.

“Good answer,” he exhales before finally sliding inside her, filling her up entirely.

Lust washes over both of them as he sets the pace, sliding in and out of her making her gasp for air every time he dives deep into her. The slapping noise of their skin meeting every time fills the place along with their needy gasps and moans.

“Harder!” she begs at one point and he picks his pace up immediately, wanting nothing else than to pleasure her the best he can.

Their skin is covered in sweat making them appear shiny in the dim lighting, but neither of them cares about it. Soon Y/N pushes him back into a sitting position and throwing a leg over his waist she sits on his lap, guiding his hard cock inside her once again.

“Yes, ride me baby!” he growls satisfied as she starts moving her hips in a rapid pace eager to finally have her release.

She arches her back and his lips find her reddened lips once again, playing with them freely. His fingers dig into her butt helping her out with the movements.

“Oh fuck, I’m gonna cum!” she screams as her movements start to get uneven and she flinches her eyes.

“Yes, come for me baby. Come onto my dick,” he encourages her as he feels himself getting closer too. He is staring at her, unable to soak everything he is feeling and seeing in fully, but he knows he wants to remember this forever.

“Shawn! I’m coming! I’m coming!” she screams and her movements suddenly stops, but he quickly flips them over and takes over control, slamming into her forcefully, making her orgasm even harder. She screams his name over and over again and it throws him over the edge as well, he releases himself with a few growls as he bites down her collarbone.

Unable to hold himself up anymore he collapses on top of her, the weight of his body feeling nice for her as he is still inside her. They are both breathing heavily, the bodies are slippery from the thin layer of sweat, but they’ve never felt more ecstatic ever.

After a few minutes of silence he lifts his head up looking at her.

“Are you okay? I didn’t go too hard, did I?” he asks as he holds himself up again, lying down next to her this time.

“Are you kidding me?” she chuckles still panting a bit. “That was… incredible!”

He laughs closing his eyes before brushing his hair out of his forehead and turning back to her.

“I’m sorry, I was an asshole.”

She looks at him, already knowing she has forgiven to him.

“It’s okay. Just… try to think about what I feel next time.” Cupping his face in her palms she pulls him close for a soft, lazy kiss. “I’m also sorry for what I said, I was just trying to piss you off.”

“You surely succeeded,” he growls making her chuckle. “Are we good now?”

“Yes, we are,” she nods smiling.

“Good, because I love you too much to lose you over something total bullshit.”

“I love you too,” she sighs as he lays his head to her naked chest snaking his arms around her body.

#shawn #mendes #shawn mendes #shawn mendes imagines #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes x reader #shawn mendes fanfictions #shawn mendes smut

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xz017 · 6 years ago

Text

oof. okay so imma do the latest tea???

got out of shower to hear my mum talkin to Agnes spillin the tea abt their friend/coworker

the one with that Kid my mum wanted to have a playdate with or whatever the annoyingly studious and clearskinned halfasian lookin girl i really envied.

her mum has a live in boyfriend who is basically like...an alcoholic mental case rip god i hate alcohol and i hate people who drink it like i only do it so i hate myself more and die but like this guy basically playin with knives n guns in the house and the kid who is like 19 idk why im callin her kid is so Over it like apparently she hasn’t been coming home and like

basically me in 2016 era when my mum was too generous n Helpful lettin ppl back into our lives and our House so i spent christmas morning 5am walkin in the cold n watchin 3 films until it got dark and stuff like that

girl be actin homeless---mood

so it came to a head today so Agnes is spillin the tea n her husband in the bg(omg it weird hearin him rip he was my military hs instructor wild) n my mUM is so selfrighteous n mad like

‘blablahblah well rosalie is being dumb she should put her daughter first she being sick in the head it her Choice’

n im like eavesdroppin havin warflashbacks of the dumb hypocrisy she has DOne lmao

‘has she no thought like what if Tyler gets raped/sexually abused by that man she’d let her daughter be in that environment???’

i mean it wouldnt be fair of me to be like...eyemoji on this cos she technically doesn’t know? but 19 may 2018 never4get lmao

anyway so my mum’s like our room is for rent and it’ll be far cheaper they dont even have to pay rn!!!

cue me being like...um...Money...generosity...i dont...LIke

i was conflicted here like idk i met the girl like 3-5 times im envious of her work ethic n her better asian disposition than mine cos she obviously prettier but she has better prospects and that’d suck if her life be like that

but also??? like...life be like that it was like that to me like who saved me?????????????????????

um...no one

like why is that on me or US TO BE NICE n helpful im so tired like damn which is relevant to the next point anyway

cos earlier had a convo with my mum i was eyemojing healthcare profs i was like ‘pls stop bein on ye phone pls tell me info on ye opinion on respiratory therapists...what abt PA’

n deadass she be eyemojing me like STICK TO YOUR COURSE

n i was like...-ugly pleadin emoji eyes- n i was tryin to explain that i didn’t want to be so focused on one thing that if i decide this medical thing is what i want to pursue i’d need 1-2 years just for the PREREQS which is like 5 classes and 1000 clinical hours or minimum 6 month healthcare paid job. like if i decide i want to go to school for that i already have the Stuff and just Apply.

n she was like...you had your chance i bothered you to be a nurse a few years ago you were stubborn if you did as i said you’d be earning good money now but you wasted time

n i was like...oof i can’t say anything to that it’s tru. it real life tea it fax i wasted time n im old n im ruunnin out of time i hate myself alot i hate hate hate

and idk we got to talkin abt money n life cos she was like you have to find something you can learn to LOve

n i was like??? WHY I GOTTA SETTLE N FOOL MYSELF TO DO SO im super annoyed abt that mindset

cos the thing about a bloody Arts degree is there’s too fuckin many broad possibilities n they all aint even that good. like deadass if i was a STEM major ugh like if i was a Bio major prospects are so clear: forensics, research, premed,labtech. Meanwhile polsci for example: uhhh teacher? prelaw? politician? uhhh government work? n there’s like 111 different subdivisions of that n it’s like??? wat the fuck

deadass what am i gonna do with international security is that even gonna pay well like...the fuck do i know is it relevant ??? Doubts

n she was all like...PEOPLE JUST GOTTA DO WHAT THEY HAVE TO TO SURVIVE YOU GOTTA FIND YOURS N STICK WITH IT

n i was lowkey panique n frustrated cos i really REALLY hate being stuck in 1 ting n im like i HAD ACTING YOU SAID NO

n she was like pFF i wanted you to have something REAL cos if you dont make it in acting you’d be on the STREETS

n i was like...lmao lil did she know imma be on the streets next year smh this year actually

n she was like talkin abt the harsh reality of the workforce and how you gotta make do at how ppl treat you (patients) n how you might not even like your coworkers but you gotta deal with it because that’s what ppl do to survive

n she was talkin abt undeserving patients with no healthcare n i was like did you just hear yourself so you want them to die cos they dont got money and she was like

no??? why get hooked up in the ICU when you’re braindead wasting government money taxes we payed for you don’t understand cos you dont have a job and dont get your salary cut cos of taxes and these people come in acting like they got something to give when they yell at your face acting like they know what they’re talking about they act entitled when they have nothing homeless ppl getting money and illegal immigrants are selfish bringing their kids to be hurt here

n im like...theyre life is ...shitty what are you talkin about n she was like so? why dont they stay and make it better??? one of my very first patients asked me why i was in america and i said i come from a poor country and they said why didn’t you stay and try to make it better? and i couldn’t say anything cos u know what they were right why dont illegal immigrants do that??? n im like...

cos theyre literally...RUNNIN and they want ppl they care abt i.e. children to be far away from that as soon as possible bruh ye think imma wait for change deadass there a reason why we suffer duterte he actually get shit done??? we dont have to wait for change the same way ppl who speak nice n are polite do but is stuck with bureaucracy and lowkey bein corrupt deadass stay in ye lane

n she’s like well i hope you’re right im done bein an idealist im a realist now i believed in good i wanted to help the world now no more

n im like...no you’re not a realist, you’ve just been hangin out with a republican

and she gave me a sideeye

but deadass im ...scared like i really hate the empathy because when she was being serious n talkin n being honest abt things for once i started to unwillingly see things from her point of view i really felt it n i was scared i’ll be like that im scared she’s right

im scared i’ll end up Real n selfish like...i already am ? n bitter? like i care about so very few Personally and am willin to let others suffer to keep it safe n prioritised?

im scared.

like especially with racism all these years my mum’s been telling me it’s not that im racist just wait til you work with them they act so entitles and loud and make everything about race

n i almost told Her abt it earlier i skyped w her earlier we had a tea spillin moment about our ethnic relations bein racist but then idk we talked alot i guess the text got buried or unseen

like i said i was scared n didn’t get to unpack it like im scared because ive been livin with my roomate and like...ive been excusing it as a personality thing and that if it were anyone else different skin colour id still hate them just the same which i still maintain is true but like?

my RM is loud n she makes everything abt race like deadass me n my FM be just eating dinner and she passes by us and goes on a rant about harvard asians being a Blok to black ppl from getting There n im like...im tryna have dinner so i can get energy to deal with this stressful ass school

n she always talks like she knows what she’s talking about like ‘jewish ppl control the federal bank’ n im like...it 1am in the dark quiet of our shared room deadass i dont wanna tell the binch thats antisemitism cos she gonna be like im black how can i be racist smh

im!!! scared alright like i hate my roomate for proving my mum right when i try so hard to set things right like maybe that’s why i dont tell anyone about my situation other than Her. i never told my parents about the berkeley livin situation they already warn me enough to be careful n i just keep tellin them thats racist

i have so much........THOUGHTS n........DILEMMAS...n FEARS but like i just have this blog i cant trust anyone else to talk abt it n the only person i am willing to talk to abt it will be busy and im so ashamed abt these things but she was so sweet about givin me the heads up about her schedule

like i hated that i had to get an ugly ass haircut today cos she came back to me n we couldve talked so i guess rip she was complacent n did stuff cos she replied late from then on like that dumbass haircut was 15 minutes ugh. our talkin pattern today was like...dashed lines timereply wise? i asked her if she packed earlier (pre haircut)n she said yes but rip a few hours later she was like...I need to pack

wat is the truth rip

the tablet bein emo like...mood but my child rip.

my love be packin n spendin time with fam before leavin for london tomorrow

n even after that she doin...Stuff. rip.

which is ye know good for her rip.

i just hope she dont go iceskatin deadass one slip n she can crack her head open or break her neck or paralyse her spine like...??? why do humans wanna do dumb activities

like omg she admitted to me today she a serial jaywalker and WORSE with music n headphones like

binch thats why i didnt wanna enable you further by gettin ye airpods deadass bye

n she was like??? tryna equate it with my risky risk like ummm

mine is for science n validity

hers is just carelessness n chosin lazy convenience over idk...the responsibility of self vigilance like...

bruh ppl shouldnt promise someone 91 years if they be continuin to do dumb stuff consciously oof rip

but other than that like...im...really proud of this resolution she be undertakin officially on the 14th?

im nervous abt it cos i really want it for her too. i want her to get the proper sleep n i always hated her givin excuses like ‘IM FINE ON 4 HOURS OF SLEEP’ ‘I NAPPED 3 HOURS 38293820 HOURS AGO IM FINE I MADE UP FOR IT’ um...blokt. get proper sleep binch i love you tf???

prioritise work cos ye gonna regret not givin it yer all??? n ye payin for this???

what fun??? we capitalists now we want that money rip.

i see that shift you know rip i saw it comin a year ago.

that dont mean we republicans rip we still care about others n the inequality? but like i foresaw us getting acquainted with the harsh reality of the world n how difficult it is to get a job--which she experienced along the way.

n rip she wants many things bookmarkin them n honestly same rip

i want a stable warm home for this family n a shiny diamond to get disassociated by extra im a simple man

meanin im selfish n im ready to prioritise meanin im ready to make the choice for others to fall apart/behind if it means puttin This first rip

god pls dont make me a republican this so ugly

# 1 she’d hate me #2 i’d hate me

now im sad

im dead.

omg rip earlier too as she said goodbye i told her i loved her and she was like ‘i love you more’

DEADASS I WAS LIKE LMAO!!! girL i dont think you understand im literally Ready to put you and our possible future First like...im not messin around what skitrips with rich ppl what friends my love is potent n extreme n COncentrated like im sorry ik you feel love for me but you cant top This rip she not ready

like the um ‘partially wanna make my life’s work abt knowin what might hurt n kill ye so i can kill it first or blok it well’ kinda love

the ‘im already savin for at least HALF a first month deposit in an overpriced london in case you wanna settle down wit me Mayhaps n im not touching it for ANYTHING’ kinda love

the ‘im thinking of a winter home in the tropics so you suffer less n im plannin the floorplans already rip just in case’ kinda extraness

but anyways the gall of this cute lovely human rip ‘i love you more’ ummm try Again smh

bruh i love her too much i bet that’s scary for her rip it might be a Burden tbh she so young rip

meanwhile im old n ready to rot but like...

i wanna be mortal wit ye before i do

but ye know wat lads i saw myself in the mirror today like 5 times OOF. this meatform...keepin me...Humble.

bitter but like...humble

‘like of course sHe not ready not only is my personality like dis but also...my outward form how could she introduce me as a Spouse’

‘wow i look like that oof it good i remembered i am undeservin of full intense love like in the films n fanfiction they always between attractive ppl after all it only 1/2 it not Equal’

‘wow bruh ye really upset she spendin time n resources elsewhere when you be lookin like That? ye dont have much to offer bro take the L’

oof so that’s the personal tea i can think of?

had a meghan marke talk rip i can’t believe i was right??? i had twin vibes!!! but i was hoping for like a variety situation rip im worried a lil abt the whole birthin Late ting but she can afford the highest care rip it fine she rich.

my love was talkin abt how pretty MM was n i was like rip is she triggerin Her a lil rip worrirooni

rip speakin of babies like she was showin me this smol gummybear n im like same das me heart n she was like :( n i was like it only fits you

n she was like so no children then:(

n i was like!!! rip if it Ours of course that Counts n i was a lil shook like rip she said she didn’t want them Really so i always get guilty when i talk abt the future or realise i mentioned kids or carelessly name drop Hyaline n Benzion like...im dead rn just typin that like what if she read this big shame bro

but ye know what this is already long n she gonna be busy maybe that’s the key. TOo Much puts ppl OFF so ye mayhaps we sneaky ! ?

anyway i was tryin to get her thoughts on it rip but like she was all iDK ASK ME IN 13 Yrs n i was like...

sighemoji + sandemoji + resignedemoji

rip we talked FAaC a lil. cos she Dared!!! to liken me to her brother just cos i showed her my cheap youth boy shoes smh

At first i was super offended n disgusted but then i was like rip eyemoji if ye into that

then she was like ew nO

then i was like um ye already play the ‘daddy u like me young huh’ card

which is like idk is like technically? joking but it’s like that post ye know abt ppl bein ‘whether or not im actually jokin or flirtin depends if you into it’ but also like schrodingers racism like ‘it was a joke bro!!!’ but they actually bigots.

so it DIFFICULT for my brain to Confirm rip like...eyemoji what is the truth

but like??? im rip. willin. rip. to. rip. Try. rip.?

really i am rip. it Her. bruh. im only hopin she dont have a golden shower kink but. trust i...Will follow thru.

nO IM REMEMBERIN THE DOO DOO POST DESPAIR

rip anyway that whole thing reminded me of FAaC origins which was porn n then somehow sHe was like imagine if egggsy was a singer he’d sing like ‘age is just a number’ shit n i SPILLED THE TEA ABOUT A TING IN PT 3 im so weak sand

i miss the gays

i wanna give them justice n happiness but the 2027 excuse is rl nice for my ugly procrastination issues oof but i wish them well

add: rip had another talk with my mum i really wanted her to understand my thought process about wanting to get the prereqs for medtraining done beforehand

n she was like...I UNderstand but Normal people--

n i was like ‘IM NOT NORMAL I DONT KNOW HOW TO CHOOSE I HAVE NO IDENTITY’

n she’s just like SHOOKE n mad n clearly dont understand that im fukt up in the head ‘...IC AN’T BELIEVE YOU!!! iF YOU’RE ABNORMAL YOU WONT GET HIRED N YOU WONT HAVE A NICE JOB’

n im like...well i mean what can i say to that it’s not like it’s not tru rip

Big sand honestly.

it gonna be a long few days imma do my best to leave her alone she needs her time rip i love her so much rip sand

i feel like a dumb ugly dog god fljækadfkøad h8

#personal tea #read more only #entry

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boutsofbanter · 7 years ago

Text

The Contemplation of a Ghost

A/N: Or as it's titled in my docs, "Patton what did Logan tell you smh." This was supposed to be a short little thing for the Spoopy Sides AU by @beeswaxbuffoon but I got carried away and it's been like a month since I started writing this (life gets in the way too much, I do not appreciate it).

~*~*~*~*

Occasionally, Roman will get…flashes. Sudden images of his own death that force themselves into his head and refuse to leave him alone.

Of course, he remembers how he died. How could he not? It was so recent, his favorite place on earth burned to the ground in a fiery inferno with himself still inside…But it all happened so, so quickly. He’s not even sure how it started. It could have been an outlet with one too many plugs, a reckless stage crew member smoking, faulty wiring in the lights or sound equipment, any number of things. All he knows is that once the curtains had caught fire, the entire stage burst into flames.

Roman remembers screaming, running, the sounds of his friends and coworkers panicking as they left the theater by any means necessary. He had been…trapped? Maybe? Did he…go back for something? Was he hurt somehow and unable to leave? It’s all a blur, a blur of lights, stage makeup, and heatheatyelloworangeredfirefirefireburningburningpainhelppainburning.

Then nothing.

The flashes give him a glimpse into his own untimely demise, and for that he is grateful, but they also have an…unfortunate side effect.

As a ghost, Roman is prone to wailing. Ghosts typically begin to wail, or sometimes sing hauntingly, when they contemplate their death or become particularly depressed. (At least, he thinks that’s what happens. He hasn’t met any other ghosts, but based on what Logan’s told him and the others, what he does is completely normal and even healthy for him).

(Being not-human is weird).

But he digresses. When he first died and was still tied to the ashes of the theater, he was caught in a near-constant state of wailing. There were times when he’d sing songs from productions they’d held at that theater, but he would often become too upset to carry the tune, and he’d dissolve into cries again. Fortunately, once the others found him, bless their souls (if they even have souls…he should ask Logan), he found reasons to embrace his afterlife and move on from his own death. He’s been incredibly happy with Logan, Patton, and Virgil keeping him company and welcoming him into their family of supernatural spirits.

But…he can’t completely forget how he ended up here. There are still times (more times than he would care to admit) when he needs to cry and wallow in his own misery. The flashes bring it on more than anything. When he’s confronted with impossible-to-ignore images of burning wood, flaming fabric, and blistering flesh…he can’t keep himself from crying out in pain and suffering. It hurts his heart, knowing that it bothers the others. Especially Patton. He still remembers the first time he wailed once he moved in with them…

~*~*~*~*

This is wonderful! I don’t have to be alone anymore!

Logan, Patton, and Virgil. My new roommates. A vampire, a werewolf, and a shoddily-put-together lab experiment. Hah, if only my friends could see me now, I’m living the story!

My friends…my friends…I can never see them again…

I left the only place that ties me to them, the last place I saw them, the last place I ever performed, where I rehearsed for hours upon hours, sang endlessly, acted ceaselessly…

It’s all over now…

“Roman? Roman! Are you—”

“Stop! Do not touch him, do not even contemplate engaging in conversation with him!”

Patton? Logan?

“Why!? We can’t just…just leave him like that!”

“Apologies, Patton…you cannot comfort him right now. He needs to do this, it’s healthy for ghosts who died in a similar manner to him…”

Healthy? How is this awful feeling healthy? Oh god, I’m dead, I died, it burnt to rubble and ruins…

“How can that possibly be good for him?”

“It is hard to explain, Patton. Just know that it would be far worse if you were to intervene. Roman must…‘ride it out,’ so to speak.”

“Okay…”

~*~*~*~*

After that, Logan had explained the benefits of ghostly wailing in regards to the ghost’s specific instance of death, and none of the others had tried anything when they heard him wail. Roman’s grateful, of course, he only wishes he didn’t have to hurt them so. And he’ll admit that it isn’t exactly a trip to Disneyland for him either.

Wailing is…well, it’s odd. Once Roman is in the midst of a fit, his mind filters out everything else. Sometimes voices will pierce the veil (ohmygod, he has to remember that one for Virgil later), but he can’t see or hear much throughout. His tear ducts are magically transformed into a bottomless well, it’s a bit ridiculous. The tears will cover his vision and float off the surface of his skin, little ghosts of their own. His stage makeup bleeds down his face, dripping in mascara flakes and eyeliner smudges, leaving his cheeks permanently tattooed with black trails. And his voice: it becomes several times louder than normal, and the wail builds in waves upon waves of sadness, remorse, and longing. It echoes in his head, and while he can hear the depressing thoughts chase each other through his mind, they’re only able to escape and become physical in the form of wordless cries.

Thank goodness for that, he wouldn’t want the others to hear them; Roman himself doesn’t particularly care for them.

It is cleansing, though. He doesn’t see it in the moment (he can’t see anything in the moment), but after his sobs die out and his tears dissipate, he feels so light and empty. In a good way. He guesses Logan knows what he’s talking about (duh, he’s been around for hundreds and hundreds of years, Roman would be surprised if he wasn’t bursting at the seams with knowledge).

Internal-monologuing aside (Virgil would call him a nerd if he’d heard any of that), Roman is currently curled up in an armchair by the window, watching the rain streak the glass. It’s a soothing storm, which he’s more than grateful for. Thunder and lightning make Patton anxious sometimes and no one in this house is happy when Patton is sad.

Roman hums quietly, something vaguely familiar, but he can’t for the life (well, after-life) of him place a name on it. His thoughts branch out randomly. He briefly contemplates floating outside to sing dramatically in the rain, but decides against it for fear of being cliche. He wonders if Virgil and Patton have fallen asleep, they usually curl up and watch movies when it rains, occasionally passing out on the floor or the couch. He mentally notes that they need to pick up more Crofters the next time they go out, he noticed that they only had one jar left earlier and he doesn’t want Logan to run out and have to resort to blood.

Sighing contentedly, Roman decides to go check on Patton and Virgil. He shifts into a more transparent form and sinks through the floor, far too lazy to walk. He finds them curled up on the rug, Patton’s wolf form wrapped around Virgil, who has two handfuls of Patton-fur and his face buried in Patton’s undoubtedly warm neck. Roman chuckles, shaking his head fondly at the pair. Logan must have come by before, there’s a blanket draped over them and the popcorn bowl was moved to the table to avoid being knocked over.

For someone supposedly so stoic, Logan definitely has his soft side.

Roman’s eyes drift to the TV, still on but with the volume significantly lowered. It looks like Patton and Virgil were watching movies on cable instead of on the DVD player, there’s a commercial about some sort of cleaning product playing. Roman grabs the remote and is about to shut off the TV when the scheduled program comes back on and piques his interest. It’s some sort of crime show, he’s not sure which one, but the main character has just been informed of a new death in a series of related crimes.

By a serial arsonist. Of course, what else?

His hand very suddenly becomes less corporeal and the remote clatters to the ground, thankfully not waking either of the sleeping supernaturals nearby. He wouldn’t want them to see him shaking with his eyes locked on the screen. The protagonist arrives at the scene of the murder, a burned-out apartment building. It was supposed to be abandoned, but apparently some homeless man was hiding inside and was trapped when the arsonist set the place ablaze. The body appeared, shoved in a bodybag but still visible. Its face was burned beyond recognition, skin black and bones charred where there was no skin to cover them. Roman’s stomach sunk and he felt like puking, though he couldn’t possibly have anything in his body to expel.

That’s what my body must’ve looked like.

He wouldn’t know, his bag was shut when he appeared in the rubble of the theater.

The I-need-to-throw-up feeling from before surges up, causing Roman to double over and choke on air. He’s full-ghost, he shouldn’t be able to feel much of anything at all, but his skin burns and his heart aches and his stomach rolls and he feels like dying all over again.

A wail rapidly builds up in his throat and he slaps both hands over his mouth to stop the sound from escaping. There’s movement in his peripheral vision and Roman glances over to see Patton shifting beneath Virgil’s limp form, an almost distressed look on his dog-like face. He huffs and then slips into a deeper sleep once again, and Roman lets out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding. He can’t wail here, they’ll hear it and startle awake and Virgil will be scared and Patton will be worried and he won’t be able to reassure them and they won’t be able to do anything but watch and listen.

Roman simply cannot do that to them.

Whimpers and sobs try to force their way between his fingers, but he stays firm as he frantically rushes out of the living room and into the basement, praying that it will be far enough away for them not to hear. He’d go to his room (sound-proofed for this specific reason), but he can’t force himself to float up. His body merely sinks into the spacious room below the house, typically used for storage and therefore empty of anything comforting, which further worsens his mood.

Trying to physically seal his mouth shut doesn’t work for long, it never does, and the wail that Roman has suppressed breaks free with vicious revenge for being stifled. Roman cries in earnest, everything hurting so damn much that he can hardly stand it. His body curls in on itself, hands clenched over his heart to keep it from shattering under the weight of how utterly hopeless and lonely he feels.

His vision is quickly compromised by the tears that stream from his eyes and he can’t seem to remember where he is or who he is or what’s happening to him, he only registers suffering.

Then the thoughts make an appearance.

I died like that, just like him, I burned and burned and burned, turned black and completely unrecognisable.

My friends had to see that, my parents had to see that, everyone had to see that.

Or maybe no one did. Maybe I’m just like the theater, disgusting and abandoned, unlovable and meant to be lonely forever. They probably don’t care to visit my grave, wherever it is, if they even decided to bury my husk of a body.

God, I’m so lonely, I’m all alone, and I’ll always be alone. I’m stuck here for eternity, utterly helpless and forever alone…

No one loves me.

I don’t deserve love, I’m just a ghost, a spirit that was never meant to go on existing…

Muffled sounds, they’re drowned out by the voices in his head.

Weak, pathetic, selfish, vain, worthlessworthlessworthless

“...man! Please! Snap ou…”

This isn’t real, I’m not real…

Something wraps around his body, constricting him, trapping him, setting his burning skin on fire all over again. Oh, it hurts, it hurts so so bad.

He’s suddenly slammed into reality. Everything becomes much too clear much too fast, where it was all vague and distant before. Cries turn to screams as the walls of the basement close in around him, trapping him even more than the thing twisted around his body. The boxes shake and the things stacked on storage shelves along the walls clatter to the ground, only adding to the chaos.

The thing holding him captive grips tighter and he trembles because he can feel it with such fucking clarity it’s maddening. He shouldn’t feel anything, he’s dead, he doesn’t have anything left to feel!

It shushes him and he can’t take it, he can’t take a single shred of calm in the center of all the mayhem.

“This isn’t real! I’m not real you’re not real none of this is real I’m not real I’m not I’m not I’m nothing and I don’t exist!”

He shrieks louder than he ever has and his voice echoes, rattling everything around him.

The thing’s touch finally goes away and he screams in horror, seeing himself standing there. Only it isn’t him, it’s his body, his charred and broken body, hardly anything left of the person he once was. He can’t believe that the thing in front of him was ever human, that it was ever a part of the real world, that he was ever a part of the real world.

It jumps away from him, appearing to be frightened, and runs away to the hell that it came from.

He wants to be relieved, but he only feels painpainpainpain.

~*~*~*~*

It’s been days.

Days since Roman had been calmly musing about his state of being and his death before casually floating downstairs to check on his housemates. Days since he’d caught sight of the screen playing some unknown show. Days since he’d seen an undoubtedly fake but seemingly so realistic body, one that was burned to death, trapped in a building much like he himself had been. Days since he’d gone to the basement to wail. Days since he’d been interrupted. Days since he’d felt the worst pain since his actual death.

It was Patton who found him, of course it was. Patton, sweet and innocent and kind, who knew that he wasn’t supposed to touch Roman, but who couldn’t resist reaching out to comfort, to heal.

Roman didn’t blame him, not in the slightest. Patton only wanted to help, how could Roman possibly be angry with him? For caring about him? For trying to help? He’d be a heartless fool to be mad. But Patton didn’t see it that way.

Although, he supposes he doesn’t know how Patton sees it, since he hasn’t seen Patton in almost a week. After realizing what he’d done, Patton hasn’t been able to face Roman at all. He’s sure that Roman hates him, which couldn’t be further from the truth, but no reassurances from Virgil or Logan have changed his mind. Roman keeps trying to corner the stupid werewolf, but he’s staying decidedly out of the way.

Roman just wants to talk to him.

“Still moping, I see.”

“Virgil,” Roman acknowledges. Said being flops down beside him on the couch, sighing as he does so. Roman lays his head on Virgil’s shoulder and he feels a hand rest on his knee in kind.

“You know he doesn’t mean to hurt you, right?” Virgil says softly.

“Of course I know that, Franken-emo. I still feel terrible about it all, though. I just wish he’d talk to me so I could tell him that it’s alright,” Roman laments.

“Hey, I get it. But don’t beat yourself up about him feeling bad. You’ve tried to talk to him and he won’t let you. I love Pat more than anything, but even I can see that he’s being dumb about this. As if you would ever hate him, as if anyone would ever hate him,” Virgil scoffs.

Roman agrees wholeheartedly. Patton’s like a precious puppy, literally, it’d be insane to dislike him.

“Maybe Logan will convince him to actually listen to you. He came ranting into my room last night about how ridiculous and illogical Patton is being about this whole situation. All, ‘what does Patton think, that he can just avoid him forever? They live in the same house! Also, it’s Patton, honestly, he must have lost his human processing skills, there’s only copious amounts of fluff in his brain!’ and blah blah blah.” Virgil rolls his eyes after his admittedly decent impersonation of their resident vampire, and Roman laughs.

“Maybe,” Roman smiles up at Virgil, “Thanks, Virge.”

“Don’t thank me yet, we don’t know if Patton is actually gonna use those big dog ears for something,” Virgil warns, but still squeezes Roman’s knee comfortingly.

Quiet settles in the living room and Roman is relishing the calm of the moment when a door slams open upstairs.

Virgil jumps and Roman can feel his companion trembling from the sudden loud noise. They hear voices, Logan’s and Patton’s, one sounding frustrated and demanding, the other meek and somewhat-protesting. Specific words are not to be heard, but Roman hears something along the lines of Logan forcing Patton out of his room. Then there’s two sets of footsteps---or well, one set of feet and one set of paws---coming down the stairs. Roman perks up hopefully when he sees Patton’s furry legs and tail dragging reluctantly along. He may not want to be here, but at least he is.

The pair comes into full view, Logan’s hand gently but insistently gripping Patton’s forearm. Patton refuses to meet the eyes of anyone in the room, and his ears are angled low in shame and distress, but he’s finally here and maybe Roman can actually get a word in this time.

“Virgil, would you mind accompanying me upstairs? The stitches on your left arm look as if they could use reinforcing and I left my sewing kit in my room,” Logan says lightly.

Virgil’s stitches are fine, Roman’s pretty sure Logan just redid them two days ago, but he nods in understanding and gets up. “Sure, Lo.”

The two head upstairs after Logan sends an encouraging look Roman’s way and a somewhat threatening one Patton’s way, similar to the look a mother sends her misbehaving child when they disobey an order. Roman suppresses a giggle, knowing that he’ll only have one shot at speaking with Patton about this.

Said lycanthrope is hunched over, hugging his arms close to his body with his tail curled around his feet. He looks as though he’s prepared to be yelled at, not wanting to hear it but knowing that he deserves it. Roman softens at the sight of him and sighs.

“Patton, would you come sit with me please?” he asks, gesturing to the cushions beside him.

Reluctant shuffling brings Patton closer to Roman than he’s been in nearly a week, and the way he sits on the couch looks hesitant and tense, as if he’s prepared to bolt the moment he does something wrong. Roman takes a deep breath and weighs his words carefully, “Hey padre, I’ve…really missed seeing your fluffy hide around the house.”

Patton whimpers, “I don’t know why you would, after what happened. Roman, I-I’m so sorry. I’m so so SO sorry, I really didn’t mean to hurt you or make it worse, I just wanted to help, you looked so miserable crying by yourself in the basement…” he shakes his head sadly, “But that’s no excuse, is it? Logan already explained why we’re not supposed to touch you or interrupt you when you’re wailing or in a trance, I knew I wasn’t supposed to, but I did it anyways. I’m…I’m really sorry, kiddo, and I understand why you’re mad. You have every right to be, to h-hate me, and if you want to yell at me I won’t object.”

He looks like a kicked puppy and Roman could almost cry.

“Patton, will you look at me?”

It takes several tense moments, but Patton’s head eventually turns up and his big sad eyes meet Roman’s. He looks scared and regretful at first, then confused when he doesn’t find anger in Roman’s own.

“I’m not mad, Patton. Of course I’m not, what a ridiculous idea. You just wanted to help me, you were trying to be comforting and supportive, how could I possibly be angry with you for that?” Roman’s tone is soft and reassuring. He doesn’t want Patton to think he hates him, that just hurts too much.

“B-but I made it so much more painful for you! Everything started…shaking and it felt so small and dark in that basement. And your face…“ Patton trails off, shuddering at the memory.

“My face? What about it?” He knows his makeup runs and looks positively horrendous (an insult to his skills, honestly) when he’s in such a state, but Patton’s seen that before.

“It was…I don’t know how to describe it. It moved like your bottom half in ghost form, and you, you didn’t have eyes, or a mouth or anything. It was just…vaguely the shape of your head and gaping black holes,” Patton finishes, looking haunted at the memory.

Roman blinks. “Well, I guess the smudged makeup is preferable to that.”

“You have a promising career as a horror actor, Ro,” Patton jokes half-heartedly, trying to lighten the mood.

Roman chuckles, “I suppose I do.” He focuses on the issue at hand again, needing Patton to understand that it’s alright. “Patton, I promise I’m truly not mad. The me when I’m in a trance like that, it’s not really my rational self. I overreacted because I couldn’t think straight.” He was tempted to add that he never thinks straight, but figured it wouldn’t be appropriate when he’s trying to convince Patton that he’s serious.

“You looked so scared when you saw me, though,” Patton points out, sounding self-deprecating, which really doesn’t suit him. Patton deserves to be happy and healthy and most of all feeling loved at all times.

“It wasn’t you that I saw.”

He does the confused-dog-head-tilt thing that melts Roman’s heart. “What did you see?”

A memory comes to the front of his mind and he quickly shoves it back. “Not important. Just know that what scared me wasn’t you, I had no idea you were even there, trying to help. I swear to you, Patton, I love you very much and I could never in a million years be angry at you for anything, especially when you’re trying to be comforting.”

Roman holds his arms open expectantly, hoping he finally got through to him. Patton’s eyes widen and he whines before practically jumping into Roman’s arms. He’s chanting apologies and Roman hugs him tightly, shushing him all the while. There’s absolutely nothing to forgive.

Logan and Virgil returned after a while, and Logan lightly slapped Patton upside the head for being a stubborn idiot. Virgil yelled at Logan for hitting Patton, Roman laughed, and Patton pulled them all into a group hug. Roman couldn’t have stopped smiling if he tried, and he was more grateful than ever that they’d found him and welcomed him into their home.

#sanders sides #roman sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #spoopy sides AU #beeswaxbuffoon #my fics

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gjr1086 · 6 years ago

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Sometimes the hero needs saving...

So i don't really post much unless i have me feels going. But i think it's time u guys kno my story..

Since I was a kid my brother n my dad would always fight. I've seen my dad slam my brother through a wall when i was 14 n felt helpless... both of them are big guys with short fuses n thick skulls..

Throughout my teens i was picked on n bullied cause of my eczema (sever constant dry skin. Almost like having a heat rash n sunburn at the sme time). I wasn't popular but i made my own rep n was able to make friends easily. However, being so nice gets u taken advantage of.

I had a lot of messed up n abusive relationships to the point that being treated like a worthless piece of wasted skin. As hard to say all this it's time for me to let go of these heavy weight that I've been carrying around all my life.

When i got pregnant in 2008 my ex husband would cheat on me with random females (some from craigslist). The stress before n during my pregnancy landed me in the OR to have an emergency c-section cause my daughter's heart rate kept dropping (i wanted to have her naturally but my body only dialated 3-5cm. I spent the next 5 days in the hospital trying to learn how to walk n take a piss on my own with out having an accident. When we got home my ex husband tells me that with the complecations during surgery the doctor gave him a choice on who to save in the event that we both start crashing. He tells him to save his wife cause we can always make another baby.

After that he just kept abusing me mentally n emotionally by staying out at outrageous hours saying he has to work (as an electrician who's hours of operation end at 5pm. He leaves at 6am n cames home at 2am the next morning). I had enough n snapped on him tue daybafter my daughter's first Christmas. My mom took the baby out of the room so i could sleep n my ex runs his mouth about my mom invading our room n messing with the baby. (Mind u i am still pretty raw from having my daughter less then a month before). Idk what came over me but when he turned his bck to me in the middle of the conversation i saw red n pulled him back saying "don't turn ur fucking back on me again n look at me when i am talking to u" he seemed like he was gonna swing n i would have let him just to fuel my rage more.. something took over me n i fractured 3 or his ribs, gave him a black eye and a busted lip.. we split for bout 3 weeks but he would "try" to see the baby n ended up saying that he wanted to come home. But that didn't last long. We separated about a month later n he hasn't seen his daughter since she was 4 months old..

After that all my relationship were extremely difficult on both ends cause i seem to be attracting n am attracted to ppl as broken as I was.. thinking I could save them.. when really i needed to he saved. I was told by my over 5 yr ex that fairytales don't exsist n started believing that there will never be a happy ending for me..

In 2014 my mom, dad, daughter n i moved into a house with my brother, his wife n 2 bots who came from the Philippines. Here i was thinking it was to bring the family closer but i soon came to realize it was so that we could take care of his family while he was out at sea. Big mistake cause when he was home all he did was fight n argue with my dad. My dad started getting obsessed with his plants n gardening that he watered our big ass back yard n the front garden area for almost 3 hrs a day n running up the water bill. Then shit knocked us out one by one.

Feb 2015: daughter get pneumonia n had to he admitted to the hospital for 5 days with round the clock meds.

April 2015: my dad had a mild heart attack n heat stroke from being out with his plants n not resting nor taking his meds for diabetes, high blood, hypertension, n more.

May 2015: i slipped n fell at work messing up my right knee n was in a wheelchair for 3 months n crutches in between.

June 2015: i went back to work after my injury n the same day my mom had a massive stroke leaving her paralyzed on her whole right side, damaging the entire left side of her brain n compromising her speech.

I ended up quitting my job n staying home to care for her fulltime (but only got paid for business hours). Regardless of the pay i did it for her to not suffer alone in a damn nursing home like my grandmother. Little by little things changed but not for the good.

July 2015: my dad has a melt down n acted as if he ws going to hirt someone or himself. So i told my sister in le to take the kids upstairs n lock the door while me n my 5+ ur bf took care of the situation. My brother was on the phone with me during this n told me to call the cops. My dad acted like nothing was wrong n the cops said that cant take hime because basically nothing bad happened yet... smh.

I took my sister n the kids to my aunts for the weekend while my mom was still in the hospital to let things cool off in the house n family n friends were telling me that he may need mental help.. as much as i didn't want to betray my dad i had to do what was best n he agreed to do a psych evaluation. The things that cam out of his mouth was soo cold n morbid that it broke my heart knowing that he saw demon faces on his own family's faces...

He was admitted for 72 hrs but was sent back on another incident. (I kno I'm missing a lot in between but I'm just letting my fingers do the talking for me). He was evicted n homless living in his van for 2 yrs until my brother had the bright idea to sell the house n basically made it to ever man for themselves. He did me a "generous" favor of letting me n my 3 friends rent the house as tenants.

March 26th, 2017: my mom passed away the morning after I broke things off with my 5+ yr ex. I guess she was waiting for me to do that to let her kno that I ws ready to let her go.....

April 2015: I met my recent bf (who is now ... idk not apart of my life anymore i suppose) who was basically cheating on me while he was living with me because he got fed up of my trust n insecurity issues n literallysaid "fuck it.."

Before this crap with my dude, my daughter's god father (who is also my ex) got jealous n broke his lease agreement to move to Maryland. N my so called sister (my god daughter's mom) fucked me over as well by taking advantage of my generosity n kindness to get her n my god daughter off the street n in an actual home. I tried to give her another chance to be a good mom but took too much advantage of everyone. Those two got everyone evicted n not only was my dad homeless but me, my daughter n my bf for 4 months (it may not seem long but when u are going through it.. that seems like a lifetime). In that time I learned that my bf was talking inappropriately to other females n that door that was keeping the demons locked up had broken down n won't close. I ended up swinging at him on 3 different occassions n started cutting, ripping at flesh or smoking my life away slowly since.

Friday, Aug 13, 2018 we were blessed with a new home but it doesn't feel like it just yet. Stuff isn't fully unpacked cause finances are low to get a uhaul n lack of man power is making the process longer. Since the crap with my dude happened i guess he got tired of me bitching about his neglect n abuse towards me cause he really feels like he didn't do anything wrong..

It's ok.. i always turn into the bad guy when all i did was put in all my time n effort just to have it thrown back in my face...

So I'm just sitting here feeling worthless.. n wondering what the fuck to do now... i'm just soo lost... i just wana sleep n never wake up again...

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imagine-wannaone · 7 years ago

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Lee Daehwi Super Powers Au

Waddup So this was written yesterday and idk whether to do a powers au so I guess this is just a try??

In other news I got Seventeens new album for my bday today and got The8 i am blessed. Anywhere, here we go. also pls tell me if I need to tag any triggers, I’m not great at this stuff whoops.

• Lemme get one thing straight, you didn’t want to use your ability for bad, • It just kinda happened that you became a theif, • You were trapped, • You were a teen when you got dragged into a whole mess of a gang, when you went to take out a loan to pay for treatment for your brother’s illness, • Because your brother was the most important thing to you but your family couldn’t afford his treatment, • But you didn’t realise the loan company was actually kinda not a company and you had just officially ruined your life,

• With gastronomic Interest, you had to pay them back the money with no way of being able to do it, • Read the small print y'all, • So they offered you another option: you hated it but there was no other way to help your brother, and they threatened to cut your brother’s treatment if you stepped out of line, • And in a world made with certain people who had abilities, they made sure to utilize yours, • Aka the ability to change your appearance and voice to fit it, • They had you as a thief, and with your skill and ability you quickly became notorious around the city, • Which made you extremely paranoid, causing you to constantly switch appearances, • I don’t mean switching looks every minute or something bizarre, • I mean you never showed your true appearance anymore, you were always someone else and started to panic at the thought of people seeing the real you, • So you stayed in your place by day planning heists the gang had sent you to do, and went on the missions by night, • And you hated everything about the way you lived, but you knew your brother was getting better, so you kept at it, • The gang sent you a particularly dangerous heist one night, and you did not think it was a wise idea at all, • Like there were shit tonnes of guards and cameras and the switch overs were smooth and the codes hard to crack, • As a thief, you were known to be able to go in and out before anyone would even realise anything was gone, shifting into guards or ceo’s or customers, • And you trained your ability to perfection, having no flaws in your transformation and being able to quickly switch features, • A master™ • But you plan this near impossible heist anyway because you have to, you have everything to lose, • And while bits of the heist are a bit by chance or freestyle, • You hate yourself for being quite confidant, as always, • But heists had started going wrong lately, • A guard unconvinced and almost omniscient, • Or the whole place closed for a day as if they already knew, • Little things going wrong preventing the heists and causing them to go wrong, • You didn’t know how because they were all planned to perfection, but something was happening, • You heard whispers of a mole but no one ever told you anything so you had no idea really, • So you’re dropped off by the usual gruff looking men who are going to wait down the street, safe for them, • You where dressed as a medium height middle aged woman with brown hair, trying to blend in with the people around you,

• Like a chameleon damn, • You float into the bank and act naturally, milling around the atm’s and looking at posters, • A boy around your actual age seems to keep glancing at you, which sets your nerves off, • Not only is he cute, it’d be insanely weird for someone his age to be staring at a middle aged lady, • You try to sway away from his prying eyes and keep your heart at normal pace and prevent your hands shaking, • You always got nerves before a heist and this dude really wasn’t helping, • At all, • Smh doesn’t he know it’s rude to stare? • You’re nearly set on going over there and telling him yourself, but with your ‘can I see the manager’ hair style you play your role and send him a disapproving mum glare and shake you head, moving on, • Perfect, v realistic, • But the dude doesn’t stop sending u shady side eyes, so you decide to get the hell on with it, • So your eyes scan the floor before slipping into a side door, • Smooth as always, might I add, • You change your appearance quickly into a guard and take out a hand mirror quickly to check that you’re perfect, • Indeed you are perfect,

•You were about to take off down the hall when the door slides open again, • You’re about to get into character when the boy from earlier locks eyes with you and lunges, • You dodge as quick as a whippet and a fight™ ensues, • You can tell idk how to write a fight omg, • DW I’ll get better, • You’re both incredibly good to the point you defo know this ain’t just a usual kid who’s taken some martial arts classes, • Because as soon as you dodge one punch and throw your own, he’s dodged that and is launching another assault with a knee or elbow,

• He keeps saying something along the line of 'Stop I’m trying to help’ but you ain’t buying no shady nonsense, • And you’re both getting pretty beaten, bruises and small cuts appearing, a bloody nose or a broken finger, • But shit really hits the fan when a guard comes round the corner and then you’re both in for it, • You’re internally having a meltdown you’ve never had to deal with this before, • And then your tryna fight the boy and the guards and - shit, • A bullet grazes your leg but it instantly burns and shocks you to hell, • Your appearance flickers before returning to the middle aged lady aka the wrong disguise, who0ps, • Your leg burns and the shock throws you off balance long enough for the boy to wrap an arm around your shoulder and have you against a wall in a second, • You’re about to swing your leg back to hit him when chloroform and damn you’re out cold, • Actually outraged in your knocked out state, • Who DaRe? • Like you don’t blame them, you’re a damn thief, tbh you’d probs knock yourself out if you were in their situation, • but hOw DaRe tHey? • And you’re defo worried about who just chloroformed you but whatever, • Idek if you can think all this while passed out but you find a way, • You wake up with someone’s hand on your forehead and you stay still, trying to gather your bearings and figure stuff out before you let them know you’re awake, • I mean the hand thing is so weird but you deal with it you til you gather that your head’s also in someone’s lap and your skin is tingling and you decide this is very weird, • I mean not a hard conclusion to come to but a conclusion all the same, • You slowly open one eye and wow, • Bright lights, • But you soldier through it and stare straight ahead at the face of the boy ahead of you, • You’re about to jump out of your skin but the boys eyes are closed and he looks so peaceful with flawless skin and a slight frown, his brow creased in concentration, • And then you realise your leg doesn’t burn and your hand and knuckles don’t scream like they did before you dropped, • And you realise he’s someone like you, he’s a healer, • And it makes your heart fly with joy, you’ve found someone else with an ability and all of a sudden you feel safer, • Especially because he’s a healer, • But then your eyes trail to your arm and your body and all the safety is thrown away, • You have no disguise, no fake face or fake voice; it’s purely you and it makes you dizzy and sick, • He must sense your panic because his eyes crack open and he smiles widely at you, removing his hand from your forehead, • Wow his smile settles your heart and warms your cheeks, • A million questions run through your foggy brain, where are we and what happened? Who is he and why is he so cute? Where’s the boy from before and what’s going to happen when your former gang know you’re not with them? • “Y/N, right? I’m Daehwi, and give me a sec and I’ll tell you all the gossip,” • While his soft voice is calming when you sit up, a wave of dizziness hits you like a wrecking ball ridden by Miley cirus • (Wow my pop culture references about 5 years too late), •But despite your swimming head you quickly change your skin, opting for the first thing you can think of, which happens to be Daehwi, • You change your hair quickly and alter your face and body to match his within seconds, • You’re kinda embarrassed that you just changed into him but you’re panicking, • While the boy next to you may have seen your face, you’d prefer if no one else would, • “That’s increadible,” • The look on Daehwi’s face, as well has his bubbly laugh, makes you flush but you’re heart is still beating a mile a minute and your chest feels a little too tight, • “While that’s really cool, and I’m really flattered, I thought your natural face was much prettier,” • Your face (or is it Daehwi’s?) blushes violently at the comment but the fact you don’t look like yourself calms you a little, • “A healer, then?” • You ask simply to change the subject, although it’s pretty obvious at this point, • “Yep, not one of the coolest abilities but pretty handy. You’re obviously a shape shifter, damn the whole city knows you’re a shape shifter, but seeing it myself, damn, it’s way cooler than I thought” • He talks in such a laid back manner, leaning back onto his hands, his whole presence relaxing, • He really suits his ability, • “I think healing’s the best ability, you get to help,” • Your voice is quiet but your words are the truth, and you can see Daehwi’s about to reply when the door swings open and the boy from earlier wonders in, doing a double take at the two Daehwi’s sat on the bed and sighing before dropping down into a nearby chair, • He’s hardly met you and he’s already done with your shit lmao, • But you’re eyeing him suspiciously because this guy FRICKEN chloroformed you and you still have no answers as to what the hell is going when he launched into a Hella Long explanation, • To put it simply,

• Daehwi and the boy, Guanlin, are part of an organisation that rescue abilities from sticky situations and tries to stop the people with abilities for using them nastily, • (Avengers who?) • There was indeed a mole in your gang as they planned to rescue you whilst intercepting a heist of yours, • They didn’t expect you to fight so defiantly back but I mean, • So then you explain that you’re really not nasty, I mean you used to put milk in before your cereal but yOu’vE cHanGeD, • You explain your situation and they agreed that they’ll see what they can do for your brother and you feel like you might cry because this is too good to be true, • Half convinced this is some awful experiment or teasing you, • So you spend a few days in the room you wake up in, just in case, in which you discover is actually Daehwi’s room, • Which is kinda awkward, • But you honestly can’t ask for a better first friend in the base they have there, • Daehwi is oh so patient, painfully so, encouraging you to take your time and helps introduce you to the many people in the base, most of which have powers themselves which blows your mind a little

• You’ve never seen so many abilities, • And it takes you a while to trust Guanlin, but as soon as you do you realise he’s just a goof and you apologise endlessly for hurting him, • And you start helping out at the base, doing small missions to help others by using your ability, • And it feels good, • Especially when you can come back to Daehwi at the end of the day and laugh and relax into the night, • And you visit your brother for a very emotional reunion and he’s getting better and life just seems to be good,

• And in the middle of it all is Daehwi, who you would trust with your life, • I mean he is a healer many people trust him with their lives,

• So you’re sat in his room (or your now shared one - you refuse to sleep anywhere else, feeling unsafe) chatting into the night, • When you both reach a lull in conversation, • “Y/N, why do you never walk, or sleep, or eat, or live in your normal skin?” • The question is so out of the blue that your eyes snap to his, • Which rest on you, • They always rest on you, • And you try to figure out a way to say it without feeling stupid, • Because in your mind it is a whole concept and fear, but there aren’t enough words to describe how you feel, and to condense your thoughts into words belittles them endlessly, • “It’s scary, showing your true self. I used to fear people would recognise me and arrest me, for being a thief, but nowadays it’s almost as if I don’t trust people enough. Enough to see my face,” • You pick your words carefully but still feel as if it’s a weak excuse, • “You don’t trust me, y/n?” • His words shock you, make you question yourself, and you look into those soft, open eyes and brace yourself, •You know he’s right as you relax, completely relax for the first time in years, letting all of your facade melt away to show your true skin, your true eyes, your true being, • And there’s something in Daehwi’s eyes that you love as he looks at your pure self,

• You feel insanely exposed but Daehwi himself settles you, • And you know you no longer need to hide yourself from Daehwi anymore when he leans over, wrapping an arm around your real hips, • Cups the back of your head, • And gently smiles and he places his lips on your real ones,

#lee daehwi #daehwi #i always get confused with his name lmao #wanna one #ww1 #pd 101 #produce 101 #imagines #scenarios #headcanons #fanfic #fanfiction #fluff #superpower au #power au #abilities #wanna one scenario #wanna one imagines #og admin

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maxrev · 7 years ago

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Sorry...it’s long. Again. These two smh.

Day 5 - Memories

Kaidan kept the memory close to his heart, cherished it like nothing else. He’d brought it out so many times, it was like a favorite book. One whose pages were worn with the printed words inside it smudged, spine bent and creased, the cover’s edges tattered and fraying. Yet, you still continued to read it, fixing it up every so often because you couldn’t bear to part with it.

He’d been back in Vancouver with a rare weekend off, had decided to get off base for awhile. His parents owned a condo overlooking English Bay, just on the outskirts of town. It was there he went to get away, to unwind, just be himself instead of his parent’s only son or an Alliance soldier. A rare opportunity. If he’d only known then what that truly meant.

Exhausted from the latest deployment and the usual crack-of-dawn early morning routine, Kaidan slept in Saturday morning. Taking a rare moment to indulge himself, he stayed cocooned under the thick down quilt, eyes closed against the sunlight trying to steal its way between the curtains.

The air in the room was cool, the temperature having dipped overnight. Because of his biotics and always feeling too hot, he loved when the air turned cooler as he felt more comfortable in his own skin. But right now, he was warm and cozy against the chill in the air.

Finally deciding that if he didn’t get up, he’d lay in bed all day, Kaidan swung his body out from under the covers, stretching his upper body towards the ceiling to work out the kinks. The Alliance beds were hard and this bed was not. His body wasn’t used to this luxury anymore.

Walking to the window and parting the curtains, wincing against the sunlight, he saw that already clouds were moving in on the horizon, though still a good bit away. In Vancouver, grey clouds were as common and usually meant rain of some degree was on its way. That likely meant a migraine would be in his near future, how bad he wouldn’t know until it hit him.

For now though, the sky was blue and the clouds were large, white and fluffy. He’d take advantage of it.

Rubbing a hand through his mussed curls, a cup of coffee was first on his agenda. Everything else could wait. While it brewed, he fixed himself some food. Coffee pot chiming that it was done, he stirred a couple packets of sugar in the hot liquid, grabbed his plate of eggs, bacon and toast and went to enjoy breakfast on the balcony with a view of the English Bay.

He could get used to this. Maybe someday, when his career in the Alliance was done. In the meantime, he knew he had it to come back to when time permitted. Someplace quiet with a beautiful view. There was the orchard as well but here he could spend a little time alone and just recharge.

Checking the weather app on his phone, he dressed in a pair of jeans, old leather boots, a long sleeved T and his Alliance hoodie. Downtown was brimming with bookstores, museums, cafes and restaurants with every type of food imaginable. Having no specific plan, he’d just see where his feet took him and enjoy the day for what it was.

Getting close to the holidays, downtown was busy. People rushed by him in a hurry to get that one specific present or run errands before work pulled them away again. In contrast, Kaidan walked leisurely, hands in his pockets, enjoying himself. It was louder and more crowded than he generally liked but just the chance to get away for awhile made it more bearable.

A sign up ahead advertised books for sale, new and secondhand. He loved to read, though lately just never had enough time. An occasional brief opportunity presented itself while on deployment but with little room to spare, books were read on his omni-tool. The smell of the pages of a real book, the feel of it in his hands...well, nothing could compare to that.

Bells overhead signaled his arrival but no one greeted him. Murmured voices could be heard in the back, so Kaidan figured the owner was likely busy with a customer. The store was quaint, tiny, bookshelves covered in books of all kinds, top to bottom - overloaded actually. It was a booklover’s paradise. Comfy chairs, knitted colorful throws, soft pillows decorated reading nooks for those who wished to partake of a good book in a comfortable setting.

A soft meow had him glancing down. A large Maine Coon wrapped itself around his legs, purring loudly. Squatting down, Kaidan ran his hand over the soft fur, coming back to scratch the cat behind the ears. The purr intensified and he could feel it vibrate against his fingers.

“Whisky, stop bothering the customers.” The words were spoken with exasperation laced by an obvious love.

Looking up, Kaidan’s eyes met those of who must be the owner. “It’s okay. I like animals. He’s a beautiful cat. I love his name, too.”

Eyes sparkling with humor, the woman smiled, “He is beautiful and of course, he knows it, which makes him insufferable. He got into a shot of my whisky when he was a kitten. Hence, the name.” Ignoring Whisky’s answering meow, her head tilted in question, “Anything in particular you’re looking for?”

“No, not really. Just thought I’d browse, see what catches my eye.”

“Okay, then. Enjoy your search. I’ll be here...or somewhere...if you have questions.” With her customer pitch out of the way, she took off again.

Breathing in the scent of all these books mingled with the pleasant smell of fragrant incense, Kaidan wandered down the aisles. He wasn’t even sure if he’d buy anything but he felt at peace here, calm and unhurried. It was a nice change. A few other customers moved out of the way as he passed, a shared look and smile, a few nodding when they saw his jacket. One women reached out and shook his hand, whispering, “Thank you for your service.” He was never quite sure what to do with that, usually just nodding in response. It was just his job, nothing more.

As his eyes traveled over a bookcase, he spotted a title he was familiar with, though hadn’t read yet. It was among many by the same title but the condition of one particular caught his interest. The book was older, hardback, and in excellent condition. He had to open it up and look inside. Reaching for it, he was distracted by a noise and turned away. His hand met resistance and Kaidan looked back to see two hands on the spine of the same book, one of them his.

Apparently, he wasn’t the only one who was interested in The Count of Monte Cristo.

A deep, husky voice spoke, breath ghosting across his ear, making him shiver. Turning, his breath caught as he encountered intense, vivid blue eyes crinkled at the corners. Not even realizing what he was doing, his eyes traveled lower as the man continued to talk, watching full lips move with every word. They tipped up in a smile. “Anyone home?”

Startled back to himself, Kaidan could feel a blush creeping up his neck, turning his face red. Caught in the act of staring, he wasn’t sure what to say. “I...uh, yeah. Sorry.”

His hand dropped loosely to his side. Disappointment etched his features as the book made its way into the other man’s hands. He tried, but didn’t quite succeed, in keeping the sigh from slipping between his lips. Those brilliant blue eyes looked back at his, “You really wanted this book, huh? I have to admit, it’s not every day I find someone who’s interested in the same book I am. In fact, most of the people I’m around don’t bother to read at all, unless it’s manuals. Apparently, you do.”

“I love to read. I just rarely have the time.”

Blue eyes studied the Alliance hoodie, eyebrows raising in surprise. “Alliance soldier, huh? Yeah, any downtime is rare.”

Kaidan smiled, “It is. I do manage to fit in an occasional few minutes here and there. Space is also limited on deployment, so I read mostly on my omni-tool. I much prefer holding the real thing.”

They talked for awhile, discussing their preferences of books, the pros and cons of digital versus real. Kaidan couldn’t remember when he’d connected with someone so quickly or when he’d felt so at ease. His awkwardness was well known among the soldiers he worked alongside.

“Well, I really need to get going. It was nice talking to you, Kaidan.”

“You too, John. Nice to find someone who enjoys books as much as I do.” Glancing at the book in John’s hand, Kaidan smiled. At least it would have a good home. “Enjoy your book.”

The other man slung his leather jacket, red stripes on the sleeves, across his shoulder and turned to go. Kaidan admired his well built body, black T hugging well defined muscles. Just in case, he willed his eyes to stay topside. Didn’t want to get caught staring again. Good thing too, as John turned slightly back, calling over his shoulder, “I will.” Eyes straying to the Alliance emblem, he added, “Good luck out there.” And then he was gone.

Browsing for a little while longer, Kaidan couldn’t find anything else that really caught his interest. Besides, it was about time for lunch. At least, that’s what his stomach was telling him as it growled quietly. Turning to leave, he smiled at the owner, telling her, “Wonderful store. When I’m back in town, I’ll visit again.”

“Would love to have you back! By the way, that man that you were talking to earlier? He left something here for you.”

Kaidan’s brow furrowed in confusion as she set a paper bag on the counter. Reaching inside, he pulled out a familiar book. A brilliant smile lit up his face. The Count of Monte Cristo. A random stranger, someone he’d never see again, had just given him the best gift he’d ever received.

To chance encounters in a book store. Enjoy the book, Kaidan. Maybe someday we’ll meet again and you can tell me how it was. -- John

#kaidanweek2017 #Kaidan Alenko #mass effect #maxwrites

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thedegenerateasexual · 7 years ago

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i’m liveblogging chapters 2-7 (they’re short chapters, i don’t wanna make too many posts, but this one is actually super long, so whatever) of let’s talk about love under the cut - i started on my main, but there’s too much sex stuff in it to keep going there (sigh) so i’m moving it over here. i should have just done it here to begin with, smh. (bolding still mine)

After five days of awkwardly inching around each other in their room, [Margot] had told Alice she wanted a “clean break” right before she finished moving out. Didn’t even want to be friends anymore because asexuality was unnatural.

(Okay, so maybe Margot didn’t say that exactly, but that’s how it felt.)

hey, margot can get fucked, this is how people wind up internalizing some serious bullshit

Moschoula had tanned skin, the kind of color that implied she was most likely mixed rather than white, with kinky, natural burnt-orange hair pulled up into a bun on the top of her head.

Cutie Code: Yellow, no question about it.

An intense obsession with aesthetics had taken Alice by surprise in high school and she had begun to code her reactions. She had created Alice’s Cutie Code™, complete with a color wheel for easy categorizations—from Green to Red, with all the colors in between.

HTIS IS SO CUTE this is not unlike Asexual Bingo what a universal Ace Mood™ to make up internal little categorizations like this (also moschoula sounds like a babe)

[Alice] had met Moschoula and her friends during a Pride rally at school. She was the only girl in that group who didn’t snub Alice for being bi.

HEY AND THERE’S ANOTHER THING bi people get so much bullshit for being bi so even tho she isn’t out as ace the fact that she’s biromantic still puts her in a place where she’s less likely to feel welcome in queer spaces like if she got snubbed for that no wonder she doesn’t wanna come out as ace

It had all been Margot’s idea. She had kissed Alice first. She had convinced her to date. She had wanted this, wanted her. And Alice had fallen for it and Margot and everything they were and could be. She had believed in Margot and their relationship. Had thought herself to death about it, and each night it resurrected itself in her dreams. Margot made her want this specific brand of happiness. Made her believe she could have it.

Feeling stupid didn’t even cover it.

i feel like I’M the one sitting in a coffeeshop and crying my eyes out

How could Margot say something like that?

What made sex so integral that people couldn’t separate the emotional love they felt from one physical act?

Love shouldn’t hinge solely on exposing your physical body to another person. Love was intangible. Universal. It was whatever someone wanted it to be and should be respected as such. For Alice, it was staying up late and talking about nothing and everything and anything because you didn’t want to sleep—you’d miss them too much. It was catching yourself smiling at them because wow, how does this person exist?? before they caught you. It was the intimacy of shared secrets. The comfort of unconditional acceptance. It was a confidence in knowing no matter what happened that person would always be there for you.

If Alice couldn’t even tell Margot she was asexual, then no, she hadn’t been in love.

YOU GO ALICE NO YOU WEREN’T & also she sounds like a jerk anyway

Moschoula tapped the back of Alice’s hand. “It’s good to see you smile.”

“Only for you.”

“You know my girlfriend hates it when you say things like that to me.”

“Adoration and continuous compliments are how I express my affections.” Alice rolled her eyes. “And it’s not like I say it in front of her. There’s literally nothing to be jealous of.”

Moschoula sighed. “I think she just wants you to, uh, compliment her, too.”

“Oh.” Alice pursed her lips. “I thought she didn’t like me, but I think I can arrange that.”

1. is moschoula poly because that’d be rad 2. what a mood what are friends for if you can’t compliment them all the time like obviously never ever give out fake compliments but Still (also hey look at that! ace can still be affectionate to lots of people! it’s one of those base things u know objectively but like it’s so nice to see up close)

chapter 3:

she found a pic of her and margot while moving in w/ her bestie and her bestie’s bf and she’s sad and i’m sad:

She noticed Margo’s giant mound of hair before anything else about her—it was that natural sunlit blond tempered with streaks of light and dark brown that sent customers in droves to hair salons. It complemented her beautiful olive skin, soft gray eyes, and that wickedly easy smile always up for a challenge.

She was Cutie Code: Orange-Red and then she was just Margot before becoming Alice’s Margot, but now she wasn’t anything.

Because Alice was a Corpse.

Because she was unnatural and incapable of loving someone.

(God, when in the hell was this going to stop hurting?)

this shit is exactly what i mean! she even knows better than to believe it and it still hits below the belt!

omg okay so she is out to some people!! her bestie’s bf at least:

[Ryan] plucked the picture from her fingers. “It’s for your own good,” he said when she protested. “I just can’t believe she said that to you. I mean, I know you’re not lying, but she seemed so nice.”

“It’s the nice ones you have to watch out for.” She crossed her arms. “Or whatever that stupid saying is. Why can’t I find someone who loves being with me, as is, as much as I love being with them? Romantically. Am I asking for too much?”

“I say this cautiously because it’s not the only answer, but maybe try dating someone who’s ace, too.”

She scoffed. “Long-distance relationships are not my jam, and that’s probably all I’d find. The Internet is great, a lot of my friends live there, but I want a partner who’s here with me.” She flicked a white speck off a black stuffed bear before setting it down on her sliver of a desk. The thing was barely three feet wide. “I’m tired of putting myself out there,” she mumbled.

god damn what a mood

“If you need to cry, then cry, but just promise me you won’t do it in front of Feenie, please.” He glanced at the doorway before lowering his voice. “I’ve already had to talk her out of driving to Margot’s house this week. Twice.”

“But she lives in Iowa.”

“Twice,” he repeated. “You know how she gets.”

Feenie had always been (lovingly) overprotective of Alice. If she had told Feenie what Margot had actually said, Feenie would probably disappear into the night and her mug shot would be everywhere in the morning.

feenie’s a good egg.

Back then, Alice … didn’t even know if she had wanted to date yet, but she also didn’t have any doubts about her asexuality. She had spent countless hours thinking and coming to terms with what that meant, the kind of future she wanted to have, and if that could possibly include another person.

The bottom line was her body had never shown so much as a flicker of sexual interest in anyone. But that didn’t mean she liked being alone. That didn’t mean she wasn’t lonely. That didn’t mean she didn’t want romance and didn’t want to fall in love. It didn’t mean she couldn’t love someone just as fiercely as they loved her.

this is also a mood like…i don’t know ANY ace person who hasn’t at one point had to think about this - like to so many people to be asexual is to be alone and that’s just facts. and yeah, of course it’s not true objectively, but when it’s your life and you’re looking at all those long years in your future it’s not as easy to feel so sure

omg so her parents called and her mom is apparently kind of overbearing…alicve is going to law school! her whole family is lawyers so alice must also be lawyer except she hasn’t declared her major yet

loving this parental conflict tbh like as good as the ace stuff is i love that she can be more than that

chapter 4:

ALICE IS MEME GARBAGE PASS IT ON

Cara waved back before pointing toward the table closest to the elevator.

Alice looked—her Cutie Code™ immediately shot up to Red.

(That hadn’t happened at first sight since the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show last year and never in the wild.)

She stopped in front of the elevator, facing forward, and pressed the button. A curious, nervous sensation wriggled and rooted itself down inside her chest. Alice looked over her shoulder again, blinking rapidly at the person reading on his phone, completely oblivious.

Only his profile was visible. Tanned skin. Dark eyebrows. Strong chin. And a tiny curl of hair brushing against his forehead. He held his thumbnail in between his teeth, his index finger curving over his top lip, the rest of his hand curled into a loose fist. Most likely to hide his smile—whatever he was reading was making him adorably happy.

Her Cutie Code™ ticked upward until it strained against the top.

The elevator pinged. Alice shrugged off the sensation and walked inside. Turning around, she pressed the button for the fifth floor.

Just as the doors began to close, the Cutie Code: Red person in question lifted his head, looking right at Alice. She staggered backward, clutching the banister as the elevator began to ascend.

Kill Bill sirens blared in Alice’s head.

KILL BILL SIRENS LOL

also like…what a mood. every once in awhile it’s like a lightning strike. and u just have to stagger a lil bit

The elevator hummed and whirred, the floors illuminated and darkened as they were passed, and the air inside wrapped her in its warm, fake-pine smelling embrace. Same as always. Nothing had changed, magically making today the day she became moments away from suffering a massive heart attack.

Sure, she hadn’t worked out for a while (see: ever) and her diet primarily consisted of ramen noodles during lean times (see: all the time), but this was a bit overkill. Her body had, at least, a minimum of fifteen years before she had to worry about that kind of thing.

Out of the elevator and in the hall, she took a moment to catch her breath. It was a hop, skip, and a jump to the break room and she wasn’t sure if it was empty. The library didn’t have many employees, but the last thing she needed was someone to spot her and ask if she was okay.

(In her mind, she was sure she had that whole deer about to die in the headlights look going on.)

OMG ALICE GIRL CALM DOWN LOL this is so cute im gonna die

Alice blew out a huff of breath. Right, then. Time for work. The continued cute analysis would have to wait.

(Maybe he would still be downstairs.…)

(FOCUS, WOMAN!)

(Right!)

ic annot believe this

She tried to take a sly peek to see who it was and … Jesus.

(Sweet God in heaven, have mercy on her soul.)

Her Cutie Code™ blasted straight past the Red zone. If it were a pressure gauge, the glass would have cracked right down the middle.

He was gorgeous—and that was not a word Alice threw around lightly. Not just “Hi, I’m the new boy next door” gorgeous, but the kind of gorgeous that would make you slap your mama. The kind of gorgeous you’d stab your best friend of twenty years in the back, set her house on fire, and drive off into the sunset with her husband for. Have sex in the break room at work even though you know there are security cameras in there gorgeous.

As if she’d actually do any of those things.

She always laughed at characters who lost every last drop of their common sense on TV and in movies when someone too attractive for words crossed their path. If this guy was on a show, he’d be considered the kind of gorgeous that would cause midseason plot twists and act-two spinouts, leaving the viewer on the edge of their seat because their beloved characters were goners after looking into those dark brown eyes.

And he stared at her.

(Too much cute.)

(A veritable cutie-induced overload.)

There was a place for cute and every cute in its place. Whoever he was hadn’t just exceeded her scale. He had broken it.

Cutie Code: Black—the Next Generation.

It had to either be him or the heart attack had been replaced by a disorienting fever virus. This was how it happened in the movies: some poor soul (Alice) was doing great, having a perfectly normal (and punctual!) day. And then, in some innocuous way, they’d have contact with Patient Zero (him) and boom—uncontrollable sweating, fever, chills, hemorrhaging, and then … death.

This wouldn’t kill her (possibly), but she had an idea what it was.

Attraction: The Final Frontier.

The Fatal-est Attraction.

Death Becomes Attraction.

im sry this was such a long excerpt but i am absolutely cackling like 1. YEP THERE IT IS LOL 2. the bolded is such a mood 3. this technically makes her gray-ace!!!!! wow i love her

so he’s working at the library with her and the rest of this chapter is her showing him how to clock in and using as few words as possible bc she’s wigging out and like forgot how to talk like a normal human being. lowkey he keeps grinning at her so i think he’s got her number

also, he has blue hair. wonderful

chapter 5:

“Why are you crying? What happened?” Feenie’s concerned face filled the screen on Alice’s phone.

OMG HONEY PLEASE UR GONNA BE OKAY i can’t believe this i want to hug her that’s the first line of chapter five

BACKSTORY TIME:

In elementary school, while all of Alice’s friends had talked about boys they liked, she had kept quiet.

In middle school, she had pretended to have a crush on Patrick Furlong so she would have someone to talk about, too.

(This was where she had begun to perfect the art of playing along.)

In high school, Alice had gone all out, pretending to be hopelessly in love with Sam Oliphant. She had damn near snatched the this love is our destiny crown right off Theresa Lopez-Fitzgerald Crane Winthrop’s head.

oh damn mood lmao i spent so much time in school pretending to have crushes on boys

But this had been where Alice messed up. Turned out, Sam had a thing for Alice, too. A different kind of thing, but a thing nonetheless.

He had asked her out. She had to say yes.

Oh No

Alice had been trying to sort out the difference between romantic attraction (which she felt) and sexual attraction (which she didn’t). By the end of their first week together, she knew for a fact that she didn’t even want to be Sam’s friend anymore. He was an awful human being. A human-shaped garbage fire. A waste of space and genetic material.

But finally, finally, she fit in perfectly with her friends.

(Peer pressure was a helluva drug.)

ARE YOU KIDDING THIS EXACT SAME THING HAPPENED TO ME LOL (he STROKED my arm and SNAPPED my bra stap, WITHOUT permission, IN the hallway while EVERYONE was changing classes)

the reason i didn’t break up with him wasn’t because of peer pressure (i didn’t really have many friends) because i didn’t want to be mean and hurt his feelings (looking back: bananas, but he had like…….bought me presents), but then he kissed another girl in the cafeteria so i was free to shove a mean locker in his letter and never speak to him again, thank the good lord

Normal felt like a constant state of despair, but they had stopped teasing her. Had stopped giving her pitying looks, calling her “innocent” and excluding her from sleepovers because she had nothing romantic to gossip about.

Fast-forward six months, she’s dumped with a new nickname. The Corpse. Because kissing him had been an ordeal to overcome. Because she never seemed interested in touching him (see: jacking him off). Because she had just lay there while Sam had sex with her, and he had told everyone.

lmao im gonna start crying again wow. wow. she hated him and still let him & he did her like that. okay. this is fine. i want to fly out there & kill him

Whenever Alice thought about that time, two things stuck out:

One—Francine Loren’s mock whisper in the locker room: “I heard she didn’t moan. Not even when he went down on her.”

Two—the curiously soft sound of Feenie’s fist connecting with Francine’s face layered with the instantaneous crunch of bone cracking.

FEENIE IS A GOOD EGG AND I LOVE HER what teenage me wouldn’t have given for someone to punch a particular person in the face for me

Feenie standing up for her gave Alice the courage to tell her friend the truth. She had confessed she thought something might be wrong, so one day, after health class, they had talked to their teacher, who then said the word: asexual.

man…………………….look………..as much as i bitch and whine about a lot of ace media (see: fic, there is no ace media) being like This Person Is Asexual Here Is A Vocabulary Lesson college 101 course type stuff…can you FUCKIGN imagine if a health teacher could just tell you this shit? my health teachers werent even allowed to talk about gay people, or orgasms - one time when someone asked how you know sex is over the reply was “it’s over when the man ejaculates” - imagine if you could just go to someone and get told there was nothing wrong with you!

like alice dealt with this for SIX MONTHS and let someone she hated touch her body and that is HORRIBLE enough right there, but like i hear of stories of 60-year-olds with kids realizing that shit about themselves, & like…not to get personal! (about to get personal) i was with someone who was, uh, really horrible, for YEARS, & he was giving me all that rhetoric margot was spewing on the daily

& it took SO MUCH internet reading to figure it out and even when i did i was like, no, no, i’m demi, i can be attracted to him because i love him, & while part of that was bc i was afraid of making him angry (horrible! he was horrible) another part of me was because i was SO SURE (going back to what they talked about in the first chapter) that if i couldn’t enjoy sex w/ him i couldn’t love him. (so was he!) like….i figured out what i was and it felt right as in correct but not right as in good. my IMMEDIATE kneejerk reaction was “no god not this i cannot be this there has to be some way to make myself not this”

anyway sorry that sure was a textwall of unnecessary bullshit i’m so relieved no one will be interested enough to read this post but this book is Real & touches me deeply is all im saying

Feenie eyed her, keeping her face neutral. “And you think you’re attracted to him?”

“What else could it be? It’s not just me appreciating how cute something is like I usually do. He’s beautiful, Feenie. I almost melted into primordial soup of Alice.”

“And he’s so beautiful, you think you want to have sex with him?”

Alice fidgeted in her seat. “I’m not sure.”

Feenie gave her a withering look. “Okay, well, how did he make you feel?”

“Like I was stupid. I’m serious! Don’t look at me like that. My mind went completely blank and filled up with white noise.”

AWWW HONEY she is crying because she felt attraction & see on the other end even once you’ve finally internalized all the Good Shit™ sometimes that will happen and ur like Oh No I’m a Bad Ace I Really Was Just Broken All Along god that’s rough buddy i’m so glad she has such a good best friend

The Cutie Code™ was a fun game, but it was also a system used for critical analysis—Alice’s way of processing the different kinds of attraction everyone else seemed to experience. She only shared her system/game with those whose opinions she trusted, to see how her coding compared to theirs.

It was about feeling—the level of emotions it could evoke from her, how likely it would be to make her squee, and most important, how did her body physically respond to it.

A naked, muscular male chest was Code: Red for Feenie. Meanwhile, it was Uncodable for Alice. Over time, it expanded to include everything, and Alice had become obsessed with it.

i love that she has this way of classifying things internally and like…that it’s different for everybody like my internal way of classifying things is not at all like this but it’s all valid n shit

She needed to push it to the back of her mind, get some perspective. Tomorrow, when she got to work, everything would be the way it was before she ever laid eyes on Takumi. She’d call it a fluke, yes, a one-off event, due to her body short-circuiting from stress. It would not happen again.

chapter 6:

Oh dear God.

She had been wrong. So very, very wrong.

lmao

The feelings, the sensations, came right back, flooding into her like they had never faded. Alice had always wondered what physical attraction would feel like, and while she didn’t necessarily dislike it, she wished there were a button she could press to turn it back off.

oh MOOD. me daily when i see Certain People: that’s enough of that allo bullshit, thanks

And she was still mystified. And attracted. Like a giant dumbstruck moth to a supernaturally beautiful bug zapper. Screaming was most definitely not in Alice’s best interests, but that didn’t stop the urge to want to do it.

alice is SO valid i love and support her

Essie was determined to crack the Cutie Code™. Once, it baffled her how a painted image of the aurora borealis could surpass her own Code: Yellow. Essie had spent a solid twenty minutes arguing how she was more attractive than some “weird, squiggly green lights in the sky.”

There’s no way Alice would admit that Takumi was Code: Black. Once she explained it, vainer-than-vain Essie might lovingly murder her.

cutie code is also valid i love that like it encompasses everything and not just people that’s such a cool look into the way that other people work - this is the kind of shit i mean when i say being ace is about more than not being attracted to other people - just like how when you’re gay you don’t do all that Straight Culture BS like saying babies have boy/girlfriends or whatever - like, being ace, it’s often a terribly lonely, isolating experience that can be full of self-loathing, but it’s a contemplative one too, and when romance is off the table (by choice or not) there can be so much joy in the other kinds of connections you make with people, anyway i absolutely love the cutie code

chapter 7:

there’s this whole long thing about her sister beign like CALL ME and alice being like LMAO NO which is also a mood

omg and then while shes waitin on her bus takumi sits down next to her

“Do you want a ride?”

A ride. In his car. Alone.

Good God.

She shook her head.

“Are you sure? I don’t mind.”

“I’m fine. All the time. I mean, I take the bus. All the time.” She gave herself a mental high five for forming actual words.

this is the cutest shit i’ve ever seen

“Are,” Takumi began slowly, “you okay?”

“I’m fine. Why?”

“You seem kind of”—he moved farther down the seat away from her, eyes concerned—“tense.”

girl i know

“Still not feeling talkative, huh?” he teased.

“It’s your fault,” she blurted, making him laugh.

“Is that right?” He tilted his head to the side, smiling while biting his bottom lip.

A severe hot flash ripped through her, level: wildfire. It started in her head and scorched its way downward until it singed the coral pink nail polish off her toes. It may have been due to embarrassment or possibly desire (???), because, at that moment, they felt eerily similar to her.

desire (???) is the BIGGEST ace mood

She knew that look.

The Look. The one a person used when they tried to figure out if they liked what they saw enough to date. Not even a month ago, she wished people would stop giving her that look so she wouldn’t ever have to explain about being asexual. Did she want Takumi to find her attractive? She wasn’t sure, because what if he did? What if he asked her out?

What if, what if, what if?

Why, why, why?

Margot’s smiling face popped into her head. A warning. This was the beginning, and regardless of what happened with Takumi in the middle, everything would end with that one word. He’d want to know. She’d have to explain.

OH NOOOOOO this is so sad like………yeah obviously you’re gonna stop bothering lmao when you already know how it will end. garbage! that’s garbage!

anyway With That i unfortunately have to sleep it’s 6am

but this is the best book EVER

#ltal #personal #too personal lol w/e #this is the best book EVER!!!!!!

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