#and my body is telling me I can’t.
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had a talk with my boss today that was basically “hey this recent bout of covid has put the writing on the wall for me and I can’t do the physical aspect of this job sustainably anymore, can you help me figure out something else, hopefully here at the aquarium cause I don’t want to have to move again and I like working here, or at least can you point me to the person who can help me figure that out” and fingers crossed but here’s hoping I can just land a desk job and still be able to see my birds from time to time
#shhh sharkie#I’m preemptively so upset about this but the reality is I can’t.#I can’t be on my feet all day and I can’t scrub and clean and I don’t trust myself on ladders or with a knife#I can try I know it’s early but even if I get back up to what is my new 100% I can’t do this anymore it’s not gonna work out.#and I’ll be more of a burden than an asset to the team if i’m constantly having to need help to do the basic routine#but i love this team and this aquarium and i don’t want to have to move again so soon#or change workplaces and lose the convenience of my apartment’s location to my workplace#but like truly I can get through about an hour of standing and working on my feet and then i’m exhausted and have to sit down#like I legit took a nap in the office today and boy howdy did I need it#i’m just really sad. I don’t want this to have to end.#I always (jokingly) said that i’ll do animal care until my body tells me I can’t#and my body is telling me I can’t.#fuck this shit. I finally get a decent job and a good role and have some consistency and then wham bam fuck you.
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*clasps your shoulders gently and looks you straight in the eye*
Keferon. Please read Ninth by Kyn on AO3. I think you would love it very much. It has a large chapter count, but don't be intimidated, it's very easy to get into. It is currently unfinished, but is being updated regularly.
You are the seventh person that recommended this fic to me so ahahahaha yeah
I’m doing great Help I hate some parts of it but I love the other parts I’m spinning in the blender
…..I made the moodboard….
#chapter 37#of 120 or something#I must be like 90k words in haha#large word count is not an intimidation. It’s an invitation haha#I love the fics that I can’t read in just one hour:)#I gotta say I don’t enjoy the concept of making robots into organic life#it’s just my preference#seeing them as humans or animals or whatever feels so fucking wrong#the concept itself drives me off#like. Strongly#But at the same time. This fic isn’t about them being ‘haha cute organics’#it’s ‘oh god. I was turned into something I’m not’#instead of teeheee they’re fluffy#it’s please free me from this fucking nightmare. please let me be myself again.#idk how to explain. I resonate I guess#it often feels very disturbing but the characters are also disturbed#So now I’m kind of stuck reading this fic because I just can’t stop lol#just politely skipping the parts that make me too uncomfortable#also#the body horror is….damn. Impressive. I didn’t expect to read about grotesque fleshy creature turning itself inside out#it’s not even aesthetic or symbolic#it literally looks like a fucking nightmare. Which is impressive also.#the flesh is g r o s s#the beginning got me struggling and skipping#but the intermission is currently ruining my sleep schedule#oh fuck….I usually send my posts to the authors of the fics I read…..but I feel like I might offend the author of Ninth if do this……..#there’s a tiny chance they’re following me….if it’s true then I wanna tell I’m sorry pls don’t take this seriously#your fic got me waay out of my comfort zone#huge points for writing Ratchet. Drift in this fic is…the grossest fucking thing I could probably imagine but Ratchet doesn’t even hesitate#he helps him and he cares for him. Which is…..imma be real my first instinct would be to set Drift on fire to end his misery
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#dragon age#dragon age veilguard#dragon age the veilguard#trick! trick!? don’t say soon again!!!! please!!!#in a way I am happy because this means that they’re not trying to rush it or release it before it’s ready#and make an Andromeda 2.0#by my depressed lil body can only take so much#where is the marketing outside exclusive articles and Jason Derulo?? inquisition got like six months before launch#my wonderful mutual who works on their social media team please tell me what’s going on (don’t I can’t be trusted)
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bath pics, vacation edition
#do u miss me yet?#bc lemme tell u i sure miss being able to do something about being ravenously needy#mood#me#my body#nsft pics#god i love the bath#even vacation can’t stop the tub pics sorry
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I do not know what is fucking happening. I just doodled something based off the scraps of context we’ve been given. anyways. @gia-d and @not-freyja I’m very excited to see you hurt the boys :D
#..I can’t tell if the bad image quality is the fault of tumblr or my phone’s scanner lol#Yeah Shadowed hasn’t left my brain since that first art post so uh#Thanks for curing my art block#Love me some angst with my favorite special little guys#..shit I have to tag stuff now#(Someone tell me if I forget smth or if this doesn’t cover it all please)#tw body horror#tw blood#angst#linked universe#lu four#lu red#lu green#lu blue#lu vio#lu shadow#fanart of fanfiction#because idk if fanart of a WIP is a tag#my art#traditional art#..is that all?? I suck at tags sorry guys#Anyways yeah very very excited :D
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By the time cars were invented, Jonah Magnus was already well into the body hopping game, which raises the question: has he ever actually learn to drive? Did this man sit through driver’s ed? Or has he just been getting out of legal repercussions for his shit driving by telling the cops everything he knows about their deepest darkest secrets every time he gets pulled over?
#the magnus archives#tma#jonah magnus#elias bouchard#tma spoilers#au in which real elias is alive in there because Jonah needs someone who can tell him what the road signs mean#poor man is forced to spend the rest of his days as a literal backseat driver for a pseudo-immortal douchebag#perish the thought#I’m sure someone has already asked this question by now but I can’t stop thinking about it#some people have pointed out that he would ride the tube which makes sense too.#btw this post is 100% inspired by how much I used to fear for my LIFE any time i was in a car while my grandpa was driving#genuinely terrifying experience grandpa stop it please quit turning your entire body around to talk to me while I’m sitting in the back sea#why are you driving with one foot for the pedal the other foot for the brake one hand on the steering wheel and NO EYES ON THE ROAD
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👁️ Kirbtober 2024 Day 14: Miracle 👁️
(ID: Kirby series fanart of Zero Two looming over a newly-created Miracle Matter, gazing down upon it inscrutably with his single red eye, almost cradling it in segmented wings that burst with countless red, vein-like tendrils. The icosahedron gazes back blankly with red-and-black eyes on each of its sides… save for one in the center which sports an iris of orange and teal, tears leaking from it and dripping away into darkness. END ID.)
“Hush, my dear blade. Consider your failures forgiven. For only in such a penitent form may you reach even a fraction of my perfection.”
Based on my personal headcanon that Dark Matter Blade - after the second failed takeover in KDL3 - might've been “repurposed” by his resurrected god into Miracle Matter.
Previous Day | Next Day | Prompt List (made by @/paintpanic)
Started on 09/18/24, finished on 09/19/24. | Kirbtober 2023 Comp
#veins art#veins fanart#kirby series#kirby#zero two kirby#02#miracle matter#dark matter blade#<- (technically)#headcanon#kirbtober#kirbtober 2024#day 14#miracle#paintpanic#i uhh… might’ve gone a little overboard with this one... again ^^'#listen it was either this or feathers and we already know I have a beef with feathers so here I am just... livin’ up to my namesake I guess#… I honestly can’t tell whether I love this or hate it with all my being#but BOY do I have thoughts about it (not quite full-blown-AU thoughts; just wouldn’t-it-be-interesting-if thoughts)#and TBF I don't think DMB stays like this *forever*#(see his inclusion in the KMA subgame for proof of that... despite the nebulous canonicity of it)#it's just fun to think about all that good good *angst potential* y'know?#me hovering over characters with my microscope like “how can I make you worse in every way possible?”#angst tw#eyes tw#scopophobia tw#body horror tw#loss of control tw#nonconsensual body modification tw#veinsfullofstars
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I’ve been on a real Fearless kick lately and it always makes me feel some kinda way about Olivia Rodrigo’s body of work. and not even primarily about her and her talent and her songwriting, just about how different an experience it seems to be growing up as a young millennial woman versus growing up as a young gen z woman. take the total absence of any jealousy/self-image song on Taylor’s debut album or Fearless—because social media wasn’t this omnipresent perfect image factory and so the insecurity of growing up looked more like “Place In This World” or “The Outside”, fundamental experiences of questioning and longing that are deeply connected to our humanity, as opposed to “jealousy jealousy”, “pretty isn’t pretty”, or “lacy” which are founded on an obsession spiral that is literally only possible on that level because of the invention of the smartphone.
look at “Tell Me Why” or “Other Side of the Door” as opposed to “vampire” or “logical”—Taylor’s approach was a very straightforward “you acted this way and this is how it made me feel." it wasn’t until later that she started to make statements about patterns of behavior, because she simply couldn’t see them except in hindsight! she couldn’t say “this is what kind of man you are” or “this is what sort of relationship we had” until she had fully processed what happened—which is when we get songs like “Fifteen” and “Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve” and “The Manuscript”. but because the younger generation breathes the air of pop psychology buzzwords, Olivia is diagnosing her exes and labeling her relationships right away. and you might say this is a good thing, that young women are armed with terms like “gaslighting” and taught to be suspicious of age gaps because of the power differential. but having the knowledge doesn’t seem to have protected Olivia at all. she still makes all the same mistakes, there’s literally a whole song all about knowing something is a bad idea and doing it anyway. she still dates the older guy, but then she has so many labels readymade to explain why it didn’t feel good that she doesn’t ever actually get down to saying how it felt—because I don’t think she knows. the younger generation acts like processing an experience means figuring out what tiktokified sound bite applies to it and then slapping the label on and moving forward. “my parents were emotionally abusive” “my ex was a narcissist” “my ex best friend gaslit me” etc. but it seems to me that’s skipping some necessary stages of actually processing your shit. “vampire” is Olivia trying to write “Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve” before she’s ever written (or felt) “Tell Me Why”. it’s the difference between “here’s to you and your temper, yes I remember what you said last night / and I know that you see what you’re doing to me, tell me why” on the one hand and “went for me and not her ‘cause girls your age know better” or “master manipulator, you’re so good at what you do” or “you convinced me it was all in my mind” on the other hand.
and another side effect of this, the big names in this younger generation of artists aren’t really writing love songs, and I don’t think that’s accidental. they literally do not have the vocabulary to do so. the psychology buzzwords that go around are all about toxic relationships and red flags. and so, deprived of a way of thinking about being in love, the love songs either fall flat (“I’ll go anywhere he goes and he says I’m so American”) or they simply don’t exist. the open-hearted sincerity of a “Hey Stephen” or “Jump Then Fall” is nowhere to be found.
#so many disclaimers: I know body image crap predates the smartphone. magazines existed etc.#but you can’t tell me it isn’t exponentially worse and more pervasive now#I also know that tell me why and wcs are about different relationships (obviously) but I think the point stands#and there are some song on guts that are more sincere. for sure.#making the bed and the grudge and scared of my guitar come to mind#but I think she’s so desperate to sound smart and grown-up that she has to put in every song ‘I know what I’m doing! I know what this is!’#when most of the time it would be a better song if she wrote it from an honest place of not knowing at the time#this is me admitting I need a music tag
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Tim: I went from being sore to having a migraine to having tummy pain in the span of half of a day and honestly I am OFFENDED at the audacity of this bit-
#tim drake#huge titts#tummy trouble#batman wayne family adventures#batman#batfam#red robin#send help#I need some pepto#someone sedate me#I feel like my soul is leaving my body#tell Damian that he can’t be Red Robin when I’m gone
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the towel fell 2 seconds later 🧖🏻♂️🚿
#me#selfie#shirtless#for the anon but also just because I wanted to post it#I love my body and you can’t tell me shit#man#men
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#someone tell me your crack idea you want to get made into a post#I’m down for that shit#my body is ready#inspired by that one Halt-cat post made earlier today that I can’t find anymore???#rangers apprentice#halt o'carrick
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Hello again, fellas. (And to whoever is actually interested in looking at my weird little AU-) Sanctuary has been on my mind lately and uhhh, I’d like to introduce you to some new characters!
Meet the Eventide Duo: REI and KAI!
I, like with Aster and Del, have never drawn them before, and because I honestly didn’t have it in me to do two full-body drawings with color and everything, doodling them was the next best thing. I’ve been thinking about these two a lot and just really wanted to get them down as a start. Soooo—this is their first pass and things are subject to change! (Please excuse the messiness-)
Rei (the Red) and Kai (the Blue) come from—okay this is kinda funny now that I’m writing it out—their AU was inspired by an FNF fan song that I heard awhile back. It was something like “Frostbite but Blue.” The person who made the song (I don’t remember their name off the top of my head) said they were going to post the lore, but as far as I know they never did, so my brain kinda took the concept and ran with it—making it into my own story. (Sorry to whoever that was-)
Rei is the fledgling god of the Sun and the Second Coming of Arceus. He ascended to godhood after his untimely death, returning to earth to protect the one he loves. Rei may look like a massive grump, but in reality, he's a ray of sunshine and one of the most warm-hearted and protective people you'll ever meet. Kai is still a Pokémon Trainer, but he’s also Rei's singular devotee. He's honestly pretty quiet for a Blue, if not a bit high-strung, but he's loyal and sweet, even if he has a bit of a hard time showing it.
The both of them worked together to survive the violent floods and rainfall that devastated their original home, and now live a quiet life together in Sanctuary, going on little adventures here and there to try and reclaim the life they lost bit by bit.
(Okay, time to tag my one fan. @100nebulas , I think you said you wanted more Sanctuary content in general that one time, so I guess you’re gonna be eternally tagged in these lmao. Hope you enjoy :])
#WOO NEW CHARACTERS LETS GO-#Okay actually it’s 4 am and I’m dead. I genuinely thought I was going to do this tomorrow but I finished the art a few hours ago-#and just really struggled with how to write their mini bio :/ I’m tired.#But Anyway! More Characters for the Cast! Yippee!#(And for whom it may concern—Rei and Kai are the only two characters I have that are canonically (romantically) in love.)#I really wanted to do something special for all of my characters. Like- make them all full-body art and then doodle in the extra details-#and write a ton of headcanon/lore about them under a cut kinda like what the folks over at TheMissingNumbers did-#but I’ve got no drive and doodling is all I’m capable of to be honest.#But getting them down is the most important part. I can go back and reorganize everything later with better art and info.#All of my characters come in pairs (for whatever reason—not even I know.) So expect more doodles at… some point. I can’t really tell you.#Sanctuary’s main cast (and by main cast I mean the characters I think of most often) is around 8-10 characters.#(on the fence about the last two.)#But uh- don’t expect anything high-quality for awhile. I’m doing my best over here and am just trying to have fun.#Anywho- Ignore me. I hope you enjoy the new guys! For my one fan—I’d like to know what you think. :)#(Also sorry for the longer main post. I normally have a cut there but I don’t have anything to put under it. The art is just the doodle-)#(Probably should have mentioned that Sanctuary is built on a Multiverse-type base… thing. I don’t know how to describe it.#Multiple Universes. Multiple Red’s. Multiple Blue’s. All that jazz. Sorry. like I said—I’m tired :/)#(Hopefully nobody is confused-)
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i <3 bubbles
#more specifically#bubble baths#me#my body#u can’t tell but im plugged stoned AND horny. can u believe it#nips are incredibly hard due to temp differences but i hated the pics today so u get legs. suffer
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okay…. i need to know if anyone else has a literal feral reaction to these photos…. especially the first one PLEASE i can’t explain
#the reaction my body has… i can’t explain#i need him carnally#and biblically#like his face in the first one???? what the fuck#it does something to me#please tell me someone relates PLEASE#pedro pascal#pedro <3
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Was anyone gonna tell me Celeste had SEVEN FTES?? Kyoko only had 5 like a normal person!! Which one is the standard here?
#shut up me#got to the ch3 body discovery with my friend#we are zooming through thh#we’re gonna play more on Saturday probably up to when the trial starts#I’m having lots of fun#I’ve never actually played the first two games myself before#it’s hitting so much harder like this#my heart fucking ached for taka during trial 2 and into ch3#I need to draw him and mondo. god it was just so sad#my friend felt the same too#don’t know how to tell her that one of her favs is dying soon (I will not be telling her)#I also can’t wait to start sdr2 I want to see her reactions to all the characters!!
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Transformers as a franchise is slowly eating away at my brain, this is the worst fixation I’ve attached myself to since my relapse into RWBY in like… 2021.
#I get a physical full body reaction whenever I see anything relating to my favs#those favs being:#Soundwave (all media) Shockwave (all media) Hotrod (the movie+ MTMTE) Wheeljack (G1) Ratchet (TFP)#tell me why I physically can’t restrain myself from making noises#I should probably get diagnosed…#nix has brain rot#nix is normal#transformers
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