#and must have been absolutely exhausting to maintain for the entire show

[jourke-rourke]

Zoie Palmer as the Android // SyFy's Dark Matter (2015)

[willalove75]

would you write alci breastfeeding y/n after an exhausting day? something cuter

Absolutely! Thanks so much for the request!💕

Warnings: Breastfeeding (I guess it needs a warning? Idk.)

A/n: This is my first time writing something like this so go easy on me😅😂 ALSO I feel like it's been a HOT minute since I've done a Lady D ask! I've been super slacking lolzzzz sorry💕

Today sucked to say the least. You were helping Alcina with some of her tasks to ease her burden. Normally you don't have a tough time with the things she asks you to do, most of the time you actually enjoy helping her; being able to organize files, help her with paperwork, running errands. But today you were tasked with speaking with the mayor about current events in the village. As one of the four Lords, it was Alcina's responsibility to keep an eye on and maintain a healthy relationship with the village and the village mayor. You had accompanied Alcina to these meetings enough times where Alcina felt you were ready to conduct it on your own. Of course you were nervous, but you felt ready.

The ride there was uncomfortable - uncomfortable being an understatement. Over the winter the roads have deteriorated greatly and haven't been tended to so they were uneven and filled with potholes. You made sure to make note of that and make sure the mayor was aware of the situation and knows he needs to fix it.

It's not that you were dreading this meeting, but the mayor was known for being a bastard. Part of the reason that Alcina always attended these meetings was because of his notorious attitude but he always acted on his best behavior around Alcina - or else he'd run the very real and serious risk of losing a limb, or worse.

When you finally arrived in the village the people walking around slowed and carefully eyed the carriage, expecting Lady Dimitrescu to step out of it. When you stepped out alone most of the villagers went back to whatever they were doing. A few brave - or stupid - villagers decided to voice their opinions of you since the Lady wasn't around. Calling you a traitor or the demon's whore or any other colorful names they could come up with. You ignored them and made your way into the village hall where the mayor's office was.

The meeting sucked, badly. The moment the mayor realized you were alone he was the king of bastards once more. He spoke down to you the entire time, even after reminding him that everything that is said and how it was said at this meeting would be reported back to Lady Dimitrescu. The man was dumber than you thought, since the threat of Lady Dimitrescu wasn't in his immediate vicinity, there might as well be no threat at all.

Everything you brought up to him was mocked. Even things that were seriously wrong with the village he didn't take seriously. The mayor wasn't a big man, but he was definitely taller and bigger than you. Something he used to his advantage when you threatened him with the wrath of your Lady. He practically backed you into a corner while he shouted at you and threatened to put his hands on you. He even made a comment about the kind of lover you must be if you were able to satisfy the Lady and how he would like a taste for himself. It took everything in you to not show fear or cry. No tears fell but you felt them welling up in your eyes and the fear might as well have been radiating off of you as he invaded your space.

After that you gathered your things, thanked him for his time, told him you would be reporting everything back to the Lady and tried your best to keep yourself together until you got into the carriage.

You wanted to stop by one of the shops and pick up Alcina and the girls something and grab something to eat but you were too distraught. The moment the carriage door closed the tears started falling and you knocked on the wall three times to signal the driver to head back to the castle.

The ride home was arguably worse than the ride there. Not only was it just as bumpy as the ride there, but you cried for more than half of the time it took you to get home.

The gates of the castle finally came into view and you've never felt such relief. The carriage barely came to a stop when you jumped out of it - not bothering to wait for the driver to open the door for you.

You were exhausted, angry and still rattled by everything that happened with the mayor. All you wanted was Alcina. You needed her to comfort you, make you feel better, hold you and give you kisses and make all of the bad feelings go away. You needed her to care for you and you desperately hoped she wasn't too busy because it was something you needed now more than ever.

"Good evening." The head maid said as you entered the castle. "How was your trip?"

"It sucked. Do you know where Alcina is?"

"I believe she's in her chambers, she received a phone call."

"Thank you."

You beeline it upstairs to your shared chambers and enter the room, quickly closing the door behind you.

Alcina was sitting at her vanity with the phone receiver to her ear. When she heard the door open she looked in it's direction, when she realized it was you you saw her begin to smile. The moment she realized your distressed state her smile quickly faded and she had a look of concern in her eyes. She turns back towards the mirror and her posture stiffens.

"Yes Mother Miranda, I will keep you informed. I'm sorry Mother Miranda but something came up and I must be going. I understand, I apologize for cutting our incredibly important conversation short but I believe there's a trespasser in the castle I must see to. Thank you Mother Miranda. I will. Goodbye." She hangs up and turns back towards you. "Draga mea, what's wrong? What happened?" Her eyes were wide with worry and you couldn't hold back your tears anymore. You run towards her and she lifts you into her arms and cradles the back of your head. "What happened? Are you hurt? Who did this to you?" You hear the concern in her voice and bury your face into her neck.

"I'm not hurt." You said.

"Who upset you so my love? Did something happen in the village?" You shake your head no. "Please, iubirea mea, tell me what happened."

"The mayor is such a fucking asshole." You cry into her.

"What did he do?" She asks, her voice cold. "Did he hurt you? Did that filthy man thing lay his disgusting hands on you?"

"No." You begin recounting what happened from the moment you left the castle to the moment you left the village hall practically in tears. As you tell her what happened in the mayors office her grip around you tightens. When you tell her that he backed you into a corner and threatened you, that he said that he wanted a taste of you for himself Alcina was shaking with anger.

"That bastard!! How DARE he. How dare he threaten you in such a manner. That man will pay for what he's done." You can feel her heartbeat going berserk inside of her chest and her breath becoming labored. "Don't worry draga, I am going down there right this second and he will regret-"

"No, please don't. Please don't leave." You say as you cry and cling to her dress.

"Draga he has to pay for what he's done-"

"I know but please just stay with me right now. Please. I need you. I don't want to be alone. I just want you right now."

Your confession, your desperate plea for Alcina to stay with you washes over her like a warm summer breeze. The anger that's radiating off of her right now begins to diminish and she takes a deep breath and holds you tight.

"Okay draga. He will be dealt with first thing tomorrow morning. I won't leave you iubirea mea, I promise." She kisses your temple and her lips linger on your skin for a few moments. "What do you need me to do, draga?"

"I don't know."

"Do you want me to care for you? How about a bath and some warm pajamas?" You nod your head into her neck and she smiles and stands with you in her arms.

Alcina prepares a bath and once the water is warm and the tub is full she undresses you and places you in the tub. She washes your hair, massaging your scalp as she rubs the shampoo in and combs through your hair with care after she puts the conditioner in. She washes your body with your favorite soaps from her collection she knows you love. After your bath she wraps you in a giant fluffy towel, dries you off and dresses you in your favorite pajamas.

As she's caring for you, Alcina can feel her breasts starting to fill and then leak a little. The care she's giving you is something that comes so natural to her and her regenerative properties cause her to produce milk every time she acts maternally - towards anyone.

It was something she kept to herself until you found out about it on accident. When she breastfed you for the first time she felt a relief, both physical and emotional. It felt right to her, being able to nurture you in such a way that was so intimate but not sexually. And the physical relief if brought to her breasts could have made her cry. If she went too long without expelling the milk her breasts would ache something terrible.

She did her best to ignore the fullness in her chest as she laid you on her chest and rubbed circles across your back in bed.

Alcina definitely helped you relax, you were way less distraught and upset than you were when you first got back. Now you were just exhausted.

"Is there anything else you need draga mea?" She asks.

You shake your head no and let out a sigh as you melt into her embrace. Just as you feel yourself falling asleep a loud growl rips through your stomach and you suddenly realize how hungry you are.

"Draga did you have dinner?"

"No, I forgot. I was gonna stop and eat something in the village but I was so upset I just wanted to come home."

"Oh draga, let me have a maid bring you something."

"That's okay, I'm not in the mood for eating." You say as your stomach grumbles again.

"Clearly you are hungry, draga mea. You have to eat something." You shrug your shoulders and nuzzle into her neck. The pressure in Alcina's breasts increases at the action and she shifts to make herself more comfortable. She's breastfed you before, but for some reason she's still feels embarrassed each time she suggests it. Even though she knows that it would both feed you and bring you extra comfort. "What if - if you're not up for a proper dinner, do you want me to feed you?"

You can hear the hesitation in her voice, you know how sensitive of a topic this is for her but you love that she suggests it regardless of her hesitation. Nodding your head yes, Alcina kisses you on the head and sits you up in her lap. She reaches behind her back and pulls down the zipper of her dress and slides her arms out of the sleeves. After the fabric pools around her waist she reaches behind her back once more and unclips her bra. She removes her bra and you're face-to-face with her massive, amazing breasts.

"Ready, draga?" She asks and you nod your head.

Alcina cradles you in the crook of her arm and guides her nipple into your mouth. You immediately latch on and begin to suck, warm milk spilling out into your mouth. Alcina sighs from the relief of the pressure and sits back against the headboard. She runs her fingers through your hair and smiles, happy that she is able to care for you in such a way - especially when you needed it so badly.

Warm milk fills your empty belly and you hum in response. You feel Alcina's fingers comb through your hair and you close your eyes, relaxing into her touch as you continue to drink from her breast. The steady flow of milk begins to thin and eventually stops, no matter how much you suck at her hardened nipple.

"Still hungry iubirea mea?" She asks.

"Mhm."

"Okay love, one second."

Alcina turns you and cradles you in her other arm and once again guides her nipple into your eager mouth. Latching on again, you continue to drink the steady flow of milk from her breast.

"Good girl, that's it my love. Eat as much as you need. You and I both know I have no issues with shortages." She says and you giggle into her skin as you drink.

The warmth in your belly spreads throughout your body, to your limbs, to your fingers and toes, to your head and your face. With the warmth comes the exhaustion you were feeling earlier and your eyes begin to slowly close.

Alcina notices your suckling getting lighter and lighter before stopping altogether. Looking down at you, she finds you asleep with her nipple still in your mouth and a steam of milk down your cheek. She lightly chuckles before pulling you back and wiping away the milk with her thumb.

The movement and the sensation of her wiping her thumb across your cheek stirs you awake and you look up at her with tired eyes.

"Are you full draga mea?"

"Mhm." You mumble as you nod your head yes.

"Good." She says caressing your face. "Go to sleep iubirea mea."

Alcina moves to lay you on the bed but you cling to her.

"Stay." You say, your voice barely a whisper.

"I will be right back, I promise. I am going to put my nightgown on and get ready for bed and I will be right back. Okay?"

You sleepily nod your head and Alcina lays you on the pillow next to her. She kisses you on the head before pulling the covers over you and getting up and getting herself ready for bed. For all you know it could have been hours or seconds since Alcina said she would be right back. But before you know it you feel the mattress sink under her weight and you feel her strong arms wrap around you, pulling you into her.

"Thank you, Alci. I love you." You mumble.

"Of course iubirea mea. I'd do anything for you draga. Te iubesc mai mult decât luna și stelele. Goodnight my love." She says as her lips graze the shell of your ear. Alcina kisses the soft skin behind your ear and nuzzles you as you cuddle further back into her. (I love you more than the moon and stars.)

Not long after, Alcina hears light snores coming from you. With a full heart and a smile on her face, Alcina falls asleep thinking of who she is going to replace the current mayor with once she's through with him tomorrow morning.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Best of QL 2023: Favorite Lines

Okay well, I was going to spare everyone (and myself) from having to choose between all the pre-2023 shows I binged this year, but @twig-tea wanted more pain and suffering so here it goes:

Top Five Pre-2023 Lines that Lived Rent-Free In My Brain This Year:

"I don't want to see him sad." -Oh'Aew, I Told Sunset About You, Ep. 5

Okay so you see, my real problem here is that my favorite parts of ITSAY, the things that stay in my head rent free. No. The things I pay to stay in my head because I love them so much are the things that happen in the silence. Beginning of Ep 3, end of Ep 3, the kiss in Ep 4, the wrestling at the end of Ep 2. Those aspects, those moments are what absolutely destroyed me with this show. But I am gonna be real with you all, when Bas let Oh go like that? I wept. And I do love what it says about Oh that despite how much he has been hurt by Teh, he loves Teh enough to know how utterly devasted Teh is right now, and he cannot bear the pain of seeing someone he loves so hurt. Especially when he and Teh haven't spoken since Teh gave up his seat.

"You're tired, aren't you?" -Mork, My Ride, Ep. 5

If you saw my Favorite Lines 2023 post you would notice that this line is very very similar to my favorite line in Moonlight Chicken. And that is because loving and caring for people is super fucking exhausting. Meeting the world with kindness and grace and radical empathy in the face of horrible things, in the face of people who think you are weak for your kindness, or who seek to take advantage of it is fucking exhausting. And it is honestly quite rare that I see kind characters being asked this question, so I always go feral when they do because it is such a testament to love to say 'i see you' but to grant people enough space and autonomy to decide how honest and vulnerable they are going to let themselves be. I was talking with @ginnymoonbeam about this line a little so I am going to steal a line from her: "have you eaten" = I love and care for you

"are you tired" = I see how much you love and care for me/others

Of course the fact that Tawan absolutely just melts in to a puddle of tears because yes, yes he is tired, so so fucking tired does absolutely nothing to help me stop thinking about this scene. I love my boys!

"Because you raised me this way, that's why I'm not like other kids" || "I had to hate Pran, to compete against him, because of you? That's the reason? -Pran || Pat, Bad Buddy, Ep. 10

I cheated here. I do not care. These lines come almost one right after another and are just the same level of one-two gut punch that makes Bad Buddy so fucking incredible. Pat and Pran have been through so much because their parents were trying to save face. All the pain they have suffered, the lies they've had to tell, the caution, the fear, the secrecy in their relationship. How long Pran has had to keep his feelings for Pat at bay, how much Pat is sacrificing to let Pran maintain a good relationship with his mother, is all because their parents have decades old beef. There are so many good lines in this show, if I were to pick another one it would be "do you want to be friends?" "no" from Episode 5, but I feel like no lines sum up the conflict of Bad Buddy better than Pran and Pat confronting their parents.

"You must be disappointed in me." -Wang, 180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us, Ep 7

Ok so I lied about this one, the line that absolutely stays in my head rent free is the line "Mom." Wang sobs after his fight with In in Episode 8 but I had a legitimate 30 minute melt-down over that singular line and moment so I am picking one of the next most painful lines for me. And if it wasn't this it would be the entirety of the 52 Hertz Whale monologue that In gives in Episode 3 because that is the saddest gayest monologue for the saddest gayest man. And if it wasn't those it would be the boy in boarding school monologue Wang gives in Episode 5. Honestly this entire script, and this entire show is with me always.

BUT what absolutely kills me about this line in particular is that Swasimol tries to shake her head no, and can't bring herself to lie, and Wang watches his mother nod in confirmation that she is disappointed in him when he tells her he is in love with In. And that's the part that is truly crushing.

"I know you're hurting," -Shiro, What Did You Eat Yesterday?

GOD. THEY MAKE ME SO. AGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH. Honestly a huge fuck you to @bengiyo for introducing this show to me, this brain rot is 1000% his fault.

There is something just so fascinating to me about Kenji and Shiro's dynamic especially around how they handle and navigate their queerness. Kenji is loud and out and proud and while we don't know if there was time his mother had to work up to it, we know that Kenji's mother is pretty accepting of Kenji being gay. But Shiro didn't have that same experience, and he is quiet, and struggling with internalized homophobia, and decently rooted in the closet. And I think when you have a character like Kenji who rarely seems to take the insults and the jabs to heart, who is just the human embodiment of sunshine you can forget that Kenji is human, and Kenji uses his sunshine as armor the way that Shiro uses his silence.

Shiro never says I love you to Kenji, in the first season he rarely engaged in any level of physical affection, and kept a distance from Kenji if they were walking together in public. But Shiro loves Kenji so goddamn much, so so fucking much, and while he can't bring himself to say the words it is in moments like this one, where Shiro knows despite the fact that Kenji hasn't given any indication, that Kenji is hurt by the fact that Shiro's mother rescinded his New Year's invitation.

Shiro and Kenji mean everything to me.

If anyone is curious about any other favorites (shows, cinematography, pain, etc) from this year, feel free to drop an ask!

[okthatsgreat]

ohhhh ive been silently wondering abt ur oc pippy for AGES.... how about 🔥 ☄️ 🪤🚆🎭 for her :3

ouggughUHGOGU she is plaguing my mind you have no idea. ms erin fowler i will always be ur number one fan

(again referring to the fangan version not the rp version LOL)

🔥 do they have any self destructive tendencies? what habits do they have that hinder them from becoming their best self?

oh man. The Everything. pippy is so far removed from her true self that she is genuinely uncertain of what her true personality is any more-- all she knows is that it is unprofitable and therefore must be unlikeable. she has been trained into being this extremely positive, cartoonish character of a person that she doesnt know how to process or understand intense emotion such as grief and horror, leaving her into these long bouts of disassociation where she entirely removes herself from the reality she is in to go float up in the clouds for a long while. she values her show and her brand above everything and works herself to the bone for it, exhausts herself for it, and destroys herself for it. yikes!

☄️ what do people assume about them? are they right?

so much of pippy's character is specifically curated so that she knows EXACTLY how people will think of her. people her age assume she is very ditsy and full of energy, and that is because she wants them to think that way lmfao! this isnt to say she is secretly a mad genius or anything-- she's had to explain things in a manner that makes sense to children for so long that shes adopted that method of thinking for herself lol-- but she is much more manipulative than she lets on. if you think shes excitable its because she wants you to think shes excitable. if you think shes relentlessly peppy its because she wants you to think shes relentlessly peppy.

in a way, erin assumes that everybody is right about her, just because she finds it difficult to seperate the character from the person lmfao!

🪤 what will always lure them into certain danger? a loved one in danger? a promise of something they are always searching for?

her sense of stability being endangered absolutely. erin is entirely unwilling to go back to the way things were before she became a star because her worth as a human being has become intrinsically linked to how well she is able to maintain her brand and persona. threats to the stability that she currently has (whether that be threats of her show being cancelled, her being outed as some kind of fraud, her audience abandoning her, etc) genuinely will freak her the fuck out because it has become so engrained in her mind that she HAS to keep things the way they are or she will legit DIE (not actually, maybe, but she definitely thinks that way lol).

🚆what is their answer to the trolley problem?

if it was one person versus five, erin would pull the lever to save the five. if it was one person she loved versus five, erin would save the person she loves :)

🎭 do they act differently around certain people? what's different between the way they act around friends, family, strangers, etc.?

genuinely it is so difficult to convince erin to knock off the whole pippy thing. she is just Like That. and this becomes a lot more disturbing when shes around her parents, because not only is this persona amplified to the extreme it is actively encouraged by her parents lol. strangers get the same deal, because she never knows when somebody might catch her off guard and ruin her reputation or something!

erin starts to slip through around very very close friends. trust is something that does not come easily to her, so getting to catch glimpses of her real personality is genuinely like if she were to place her entire trust into your hands. she calls everybody her friends, but her REAL friends are the ones she opens up around :]

OC ASK GAME!

[theincrediblelurk]

Dear XXX Hi I thought I would give you the benefit of the doubt and write you this letter.

I hope that your only sin is ignorance. But I must ask. How can you be so blind? I really hope you’re a good guy. I really hope that you’ve simply let yourself become utterly ignorant about the feelings of the people around you. So here it is. I was angry the other week. I’ve been angry a lot of times since I got back to work last year. I was left out in the cold so terribly last year, that I almost died. I’m not joking On the day I went into hospital I had to be put into a coma. Do you know how bad your stats have to be for someone to put you into a coma? It is absolutely awful. And when you wake up in hospital the next day away from everyone who had tried to be by your side. That does something to the soul that is indelible. I hope you never experience what’s that like. I hope to god your children never do. That breaks you in a way that is almost undoable. It leaves a mark that no amount of digging can ever remove. Sometimes, it’s a feeling I would wish upon the people that I feel have wronged me. How wicked is that? It’s so primitive, isn’t it? That desire? To hurt the thing that would hurt me. Sometimes, when your heart gets broken, that’s the only instinct that remains I’m so exhausted by that broken heart that it takes a great deal of effort to maintain the life I had before. But I’ve decided to try to be someone who’s been hurt by life and is not yet bitter. So I just wanted to let you know how low this experience dragged me. How cold it was for me out there on my own. In truth, it was so utterly cold that I almost ruined my entire life by forgetting how to experience love. I almost did that to myself when I found myself going crazy in this role. I trusted the wrong manager to help a colleague, and I doomed her to a demise. And then I let them do the same to me In truth the management of this business has torn me down to the bones. I have became so little by my heart’s estimation that I allowed myself to be believe that I was less important than everyone around me. My happiness was secondary to the cogs of the machine. But that’s wrong. You know why. I am mightier than that. I am worthy of the respect I demand. I have earnt a voice at the table. But you would deny me of that all. And yes. I hold you responsible for a great deal of these happenings. Because you have not been thoughtful enough . As simple as that. My love is bought cheaply. Ask anyone I’ve met. I love all things authentic. All things true. All things loving. I give those things my love in equal measure. And you know how that’s earnt? A joke to the crowd. Every once in a while. That’s all that it would have cost you. And you couldn’t even give me that. So I became less and less until there was almost nothing of me. And when I fell apart, even then you did nothing. If I had any power I would almost have liked to see you destroyed for that. So close did I come to losing everything that made me everything that I am. So I’m angry. A lot. I’m angry that I haven’t been allowed to show you that you need to be better. I’m angry that doing so would probably cost me my job. So. For your part in everything that has happened to me. I think you’re a cunt. I hope you know that.

And you know what. I didn’t want to believe that. Not for a long time. You do so much to help others, that I couldn’t let myself believe that your intelligence could possibly afford you luxury of less than thoughtful morals. But now, I’m afraid it must be said. Something’s rotting in Denmark Truly. Have a nice life.

[purplebowties]

A few thoughts

The past few days in this fandom have been absolutely exhausting, depressing, disappointing and overall frustrating. I do need to get some stuff off my chest, and though I've already said something on Twitter, I want to elaborate further on how much the fandom is absolutely ruing the experience of the show for me.

Firstly, and foremost, I am a longstanding Lestat fan and a Loustat shipper. I do not, in any way, feel the need to apologize for this. However, I do feel extremely uncomfortable right now in the fandom, and I know for a fact I'm not the only one experiencing such emotions. Though by now I hardly ever interact with people on social media, I like reading what fandoms think and how they perceive things. To me, sharing passion and opinions has always been an essential part of the deal of loving a piece of media and, after years of very bad experiences, I truly thought this specific fandom was a safe place. I mainly thought this because I'm very familiar with the books and books canon, and I thought people were entirely prepared for morally corrupt characters and dark, though extremely fascinating, stories and relationships. I understood after episode 5 that this was definitely not the case. I accepted that and tried to move on. But the past few days, ever since it was revealed that Season 3 is planning to cover The Vampire Lestat, have been unbearable. It personally didn't happen to me, cause I hardly ever join discourse, but it hurt to see Lestat's fans shamed and put down, if not totally vilified, for the simple reason they rejoiced in the idea of finally seeing the book adapted and of finally getting Lestat's point of view. Though on one side I get the fact people fear Louis will have a less prominent role, on the other hand, I do feel confident Louis will keep on being a main character. It's been repeatedly stated and confirmed and there are several ways in which Louis can maintain his undeniable importance even in an adaptation of The Vampire Lestat. I also scarcely manage to understand why people did not see this coming: Lestat has been the most important and iconic character of this saga for decades. Furthermore, this is a saga based on the concept of the unreliable narrator: the natural progression of the story is to have Lestat's point of view of the events, in order to get a full picture of them. Lestat was always going to find his way on the main stage and tell us his story. It all fits within the essence of canon.

I do get Lestat can be an uncomfortable character to like or love, and I understand the show is portraying him in a very villainous light. There are several reasons why this choice was made: firstly, Louis and Claudia are unreliable narrators and their memories of Lestat are not necessarily accurate - most of the time, they aren't. Whatever Louis is telling us, it's bound to be a romanticized version of Lestat, and I use the term romanticized to mean that Louis is exaggerating everything about Lestat: because memory works like that; because remembering him in such a flamboyant way makes it easier for him to deal with his own guilt; because in picturing Lestat as a monster, Louis is also protecting his memory of Claudia. It's impossible to know for sure what actually happened between Louis, Lestat, and Claudia right now, because we only have one heavily edited point of view and because the narration has been cut in a half. Not to mention the fact Armand might have a key role in the way Louis remembers and tells things. Armand has the power to manipulate thoughts and memories, and canonically uses it to achieve his goals. It's a dynamic that must and will be explored and could change a lot in the way we perceive Louis' story. This is not, by any means, an attempt to denigrate Armand. I adore Armand. Being a sucker for tragic characters, how can I not love him? But I won't pretend he's a positive character because it fits the narrative of Lestat being the sole and only villain better, especially because it wouldn't be fair to Armand - or to Lestat, or to Louis.

But even with all this put aside and ignored, even if Lestat turns out to be exactly how Louis has depicted him (and it's one hell of an if), people still have the right and the choice to love him. Nothing, absolutely nothing, allows you to judge people and bully them, and shame them, and guilt trap them, over their preference for a fictional character. It's simply not justifiable. Here's a refreshing take: not everybody thinks of fiction as moral guidance. Not everyone needs their favorite characters to be positive, heroic, and ethical. Not everyone wants to see their favorite characters react to trauma (and Lestat carries boulders of it on his back) in healthy and pretty and acceptable ways. Some of us love anti-heroes, anti-villains, or simply villains. In different occasions, and sometimes even in the same moment, Lestat is all of the above. People who love him know it, and love him still - in spite of it or even because of it. That is FINE.

Lestat does not exist. And because he is a fictional character, he can absolutely be redeemed: it only takes a creative choice to do that. It's how fiction works. I do think Lestat will face a long and painful redemption arc, but I also do not see it as an absolute necessity. Redemption arcs are just one possible narrative choice. A character doesn't necessarily need to be redeemed for people to love them, to function better as people or to function better within relationships. Though it might not be the case, Louis and Lestat could choose to be fucked up together. Louis' journey might be a corruption arc. Again, we're too early on in the series to make assumptions about this. Choices will be made regarding this point, and viewers will decide what to do with them.

Which includes feeling uncomfortable watching Lestat. That's legit. Lestat, as I mentioned, is an uncomfortable character, and a rollercoaster of ups and downs. However, though he might be louder and unapologetic and dramatic, he is not the only one in the saga. Every single character in the saga is extremely problematic, tragic, and dark. That obviously includes Louis and Claudia. By refusing to see them as fully rounded characters, by reducing them to the role of tragic victims, by not accepting the possibility that their intentions, their reactions, and their actions might not be one-layered, you end up misinterpreting them and missing out on the satisfying journey that it is to love them with their contradictions, negative impulses, and darkness. This is a story about vampires and vampires are monsters. Rice's vampires especially struggle with their monstrous nature and face existential crises, and that is extremely interesting if explored in the correct manner, which really requires taking off the moral glasses and embracing these stories as the tragedies they are. The Vampire Chronicles are not about who's evil and who's not, they're not even about degrees of evilness. They most certainly aren't about who "deserves" to be with whom, and they are not about who "deserves" redemption. By real-life standards, none of them can be saved, redeemed, or involved in a relationship. This is not, however, real life. This is fiction, fiction about monstrous, semi immortal creatures with supernatural abilities.

So, please do not be mean towards Lestat's fans and Loustat shippers. Please be kind. Please don't try to discipline people over how they are supposed to enjoy fiction. Many of us find escapism in fiction. To many, fictional stories are a happy place - and often the only one. Discussions and different opinions are always welcome, but do not, at any time, give in to the urge of putting people in a corner and accuse them of vile things because they love a certain character or a certain relationship. Everybody is allowed to love and hate, to feel triggered, uncomfortable, or ecstatic and full of passion. Nobody, however, is justified to call people out because of their appreciation of a character. It's fiction. You can enjoy it or not, you can watch it or not, you can criticize it or defend it, analyze it or decide it's just not for you. You do not get to turn fandom, which is supposed to be a safe and welcoming place, into a toxic and suffocating environment.

[unoriginalmess]

Untitled Feralnette Fic Ch. 1

Hiya there anyone who happens upon this first chapter of this fic. I would like to start out by saying that this is my first fanfic ever. I've been wanting to write a fic for the miraculous fandom for a while but I haven't had any inspiration until I stumbled upon this glorious AU created by @bigfatbreak. I highly suggest checking out all of their posts about this au because they are hilarious and genius and about 100 other amazing adjectives that could be used to describe them and their posts. Anyways enough with my rant and let's get on with the fic. ⚠️Slight angst⚠️ ⚠️Swearing⚠️

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When Marinette got home after her and Luka's breakup, all she could do was cry. She wanted to be with him, but her Ladybug duties came first. If lying is a deal breaker for him, then maybe it was best that they ended it now while their relationship was still in its early stages. Still, she couldn't help but feel the loss of her first relationship. She ended up crying for a whole entire day. She just hoped that Hawkmoth(or Shadowmoth or whatever the fuck he wanted to be referred to as this week) wasn't feeling particularly akuma-y today, because she didn't know if she could bottle up all these feelings, even though the world is relying on her ability to do so.

Ugggghhh!! It has been exhausting having to be "happy and perfect Marinette" and "happy and perfect Ladybug" All. The. Time. She's also pretty sure that Hawkmoth had discovered the similarities in her personality as Marinette to Ladybug, and that's why she's been targeted by multiple akumas lately. She has had to have her emotions under control even more than usual. If only there was a way to get Hawkmoth to stop targeting her. Maybe she should just not give a fuck anymore. Haha as if! It couldn't be that easy! Could it?

The more she thinks about it the more it starts to make sense. If she just let herself go completely crazy as Marinette, she would be killing like 10 birds with one stone. She would get hawkmoth off of her trail, she wouldn't have to deal with having to hide her emotions all of the time, she wouldn't have to deal with the added stress of maintaining her perfect persona, she wouldn't have to deal with the stress of Lila's lies taking her friends away if she didn't have friends in the first place, and so much more stress would be taken off of her plate! It was perfect! It might hurt a little at first, but it's for the best in the end. She spent that night planning out her outfit for tomorrow, doing her homework, and going to sleep knowing that, in the morning, François Dupont isn't gonna know what hit them.

....

Adrien Agreste had been having a rough week. He had been abandoned on patrol by ladybug, been broken up with by his girlfriend, and was feeling completely and utterly alone. He knows that his lady has been feeling overwhelmed by her guardian duties lately, and that he 100% deserved that verbal lasting that kagami had given him but he couldn't help but feel this way. He was also feeling guilty about lying to kagami and leading her on for so long. After she broke up with him he took some time to assess his feelings for her and realized that he had more of an admiration for her than an infatuation. He definitely didn't feel the same way about her that she felt about him. She told him that she LOVED HIM, and he was so distracted (blinded) by ladybug that he didn't even process her confession. So, he was looking forward to Sunday morning. He cleared his schedule and on that beautiful Sunday morning, he did what he is only allowed to do on very rare occasions: sleep in. Or at least... thats what he had planned on doing.

When Nathalie had knocked on his door that morning Adrien was not in a good mood. He vaguely heard her say something about father wanting him downstairs in some amount of time for something involving a business partners child and some other robotic sounding words that his half asleep brain couldn't process completely.

"I have a cleared schedule this morning, Nathalie. What could father possibly want me for that is more important than my precious sleep?" He asked snappily.

"Your father wants you downstairs to welcome the new guest that will be living in the house for the rest of the school year. You have 15 minutes to make yourself look presentable and I suggest leaving the attitude upstairs," she half informed/half reprimanded him. As she walked away, Adrien reluctantly rose from his nice warm bed and went to go get ready with only one thought racing through his mind: Who could possibly be staying with them?

....

Felix Culpa was not looking forward to living at the Agreste mansion for the rest of the school year, but for their parents' sake they would do what they had to. It wasn't all for their parents either, they were also concerned about the strange "dissapearance" of Emilie (who was his aunt in all ways except blood relation) and about the treatment of Adrien since said "disappearance".

You see, Felix Culpa is the heir to the Culpa Fabric Empire. The Culpas have been the sole fabric supplier of the Agreste brand since the very beginning. Felix's mom Diana was best friends with Emilie since their college days. Diana and Emilie made the deal with the two brands because as best friends who are both involved in the same industry, it just made sense to have a business relationship with each other. Diana never really cared for Gabriel as a person, but she could tell that he loved Emilie more than anyone else in the world so she could tolerate him for the sake of her best friend.

When Emilie went missing, Diana was absolutely devastated and tried anything she could to find her. She invested in missing person ads as large as billboards, organized search teams, tried to aid the police in their search for her in any way she could, but there was no leads, no legitimate calls to the number on the billboards, and the search team came up empty handed. While she was doing all of this to try to find her, she couldn't help but be furious over the fact that Gabriel was doing nothing to help in the search. All he did was hole himself up in his oversized mansion and call it a day.

The last straw for Diana was when Gabriel tried to use the "grieving my wife" excuse to try to abuse their business arrangement. That day, she told him that the Culpa brand would no longer be associated with the Agreste brand and that after the new collection is released, he would need to find a new fabric supplier. She knew that the Agreste brand would take a huge hit from having sub-par fabric, but she never thought that Gabriel would try to make up for that fact by using Adrien as a walking mannequin and locking him up in the desolate prison that he calls a home. As soon as she realized that he was doing this she scrambled to find a solution.

That is how Felix ended up here, standing in front of the mansion they would be living in for the next 9 months in exchange for Gabriel getting back into the Culpa brand's good graces. Don't get them wrong, they were excited about being able to be in Paris, home of the most innovative fashion pieces in the world, and about being able to see their honorary cousin Adrien (who wasn't half bad to be around despite him having no backbone whatsoever when it came to anything involving his father) but dealing with Mr. Agreste was definitely one of the low points of this arrangement.

They decided to just get it over with and knocked on the door. It was opened by the man that their cousin affectionately referred to as Gorilla. They nodded a thank you to the man, remembering that he was a man of few words, and proceeded to the bottom of the staircase. Mr. Agreste stood at the top with a very tired looking Adrien a few steps down. Felix wasn't even slightly surprised that this is where he chooses to welcome his guests, looking down on people must give him some sort of power trip or something. It's almost as if he heard the phrase "It's over, Anakin, I have the high ground," and made that his own personal motto. Whatever, let him have the feeling of false power if he wanted it, Felix knows that they have all the power in this situation and they're sure that Gabriel knows it as well.

"Hello Felix," Mr. Agreste greeted them with the same amount of warmth in his voice as liquid nitrogen, "while you are staying in this house you will abide by my rules. Adrien will inform you of them and show you to your room. You will attend school with him in the morning and I'm sure that you already know that you must represent not only the Culpa brand, but also the Agreste as well. I will be in my office working, do not disturb me. Contact Nathalie with any questions that cannot be answered by Adrien." He finished his spiel and left to what Felix assumed was his office space.

"Hello Felix!" Adrien greeted him with as much enthusiasm as he could muster in his sleepy state. "Come with me and I'll show you to your room."

Adrien led Felix to their room and listed all of the rules of the household that they were expected to follow. And... wow. Felix could not believe that their cousin had to live like this. The only social interaction this kid gets is at school and fencing? Pre-approved outings only with people determined socially acceptable by Gabriel? And if he gets even one "B" he isn't even going to be allowed to go to school at all? Felix knew that the living situation was bad for Adrien but know the only question running through their head was: What did they get themselves into??

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And... thats it for chapter 1! Mostly background info at this point, but next chapter will be the class' reaction to feralnette and felinette meeting for the first time. I just want to say thanks again to @bigfatbreak for giving me the inspiration to write a fic for the first time ever. Feel free to leave constructive criticism, I'm always looking to improve, especially at writing since this is my first time posting anything I've written online, so I want to get better so that I can make better content for you guys, gals, and non-binary pals. If anyone wants to be tagged just let me know and I'll make a tag list for ya. :)

[themidnightcircusshow]

Oh, absolutely. The whole Jerusalem thing is basically a neon sign saying he was incapable of reaching an end point. I also think it kind of works in opposition to the arguments that he overreached himself and would have spent all of his life trying to maintain France-- that quite possibly could have been the point. It was only Thomas' death that he seemed genuinely interested in a peace treaty (Vale does such a good job detailing how exhausted Hal seemed by that point) and I wonder if following Thomas' death and Henry's conception Hal knew just how badly things would go if he did die (🙃).

Not only do I think Hal was more than okay with his brothers being his heirs, I also wonder if he was putting off having children as long as possible. Catherine would have been young if they had gotten married when it was first suggested, and I wonder if the plan was either a) reject the treaty regardless so it doesn't matter or b) use her age as a way to avoid having kids as long as possible. His refusal to even consider marrying someone other than Catherine kind of contributes to this. If having a queen was so important, he wouldn't have held off for so long. John seems to have been the most like Hal, so them being close would make sense. Humphrey worships Hal too much and he and Thomas have a Henry shaped wall between them. But Courtenay he doesn't have the same kind of authority over, and I read somewhere that Courtenay was basically Hal's stand in at times because he was the one who knew exactly what Hal wanted. ...that makes it all so much worse. Chris Given-Wilson is the only biographer I've read who actually went into detail about why Hal was coming under fire at the end of Henry's reign, and he hates Hal a bit so it was hard to get a clear picture, especially when it came to problems with Henry (he claimed the assassin incident was fabricated without giving a reason etc). So I was never sure how accurate the accusations were. Them being not just unlikely but borderline impossible and Henry being the one to give them credence is just... bad. That's bad. Henry just does not come out of this incident looking good, to the point where I honestly wonder if their reconciliation was just Hal playing nice until Henry was dead. Like not only does it reflect terribly on him as a king, but it shows him as an absolutely terrible father who just doesn't prioritise the well being of his son. (Poor Mary just spends her afterlife screaming at him). Both Thomas and Henry I can imagine being involved on the periphery, but not actually ordering the assassin. Henry I can imagine mulling over whether he should do something about Hal or not, and just wanting it... not to be his problem anymore. And Thomas I can envision being on Team Hal Must Be Dealt With, but not really knowing what it entails (maybe thinking Hal would just be disinherited or exiled). Arundel interests me because I can't quite pin down why he hates Hal and Courtenay so much. Like I assume Hal was because of Hal's Ricardian sympathies, but that's just conjecture. Arundel and Courtenay had the entire Oxford saga, but that's still a bit obscure. Unless it wasn't just one thing and instead an accumulation of a lot of little things.

To torture you: Courtenay extremely reluctantly giving Hal any last rites he may need in case the Dagger Incident does end fatally

Oh mannnn. I was actually poking at the thing I've been writing about the Dagger Incident and trying to determine just whether Courtenay knew about the Dagger Incident before Hal pulled it or whether he didn't know until afterwards (I think he's somewhere in the middle - he knew the gist of what Hal was planning but not the details). But man. Courtenay being the one who Hal goes to for the last rites? I'm going to go insane.

Though I might raise you a wounded Hal, post-Shrewsbury and delirious with pain, insisting that Courtenay give him last rites...

And both are like an inverse of Hal at Courtenay's death bed, where "after extreme unction, with his own hands wiped his feet and closed his eyes". I'm going to chew glass.

[palestinianliberator]

To be Palestinian is exhausting

You will not find a single Palestinian who hasn’t had to endure all of the following and more:

Constantly having to prove our existence

[This is going to be a tremendously long post, but I implore you to read through what you can]

Constantly having to educate everyone around us on our history and people while we continue to be slaughtered

Constantly having to combat Israeli propaganda and dehumanization campaigns against us

Constantly having to combat liberal propaganda from those who simply cannot understand the pain and damage they are doing

Constantly having to defend ourselves from the overwhelming forces that stand in our way, from the Israeli forces to the global institutions that help support it to the structures in the US that mean that any Palestinian who dares speak out risk both their lives and livelihood

Constantly in fear of whether or not you’ll end up on another “list” as a result of daring to speak out

Constantly having to do it all again as soon as we’re back on the news

Constantly having to answer for all other Palestinians in a way that nobody else is expected to

Constantly being seen as the “crazy one” when trying to share your narrative, having to defend against an endless barrage of accusations of antisemitism

Constantly being put into situations by bad-faith actors who attempt to engage in “debate” or “discussion” or “dialogue” with talking points that demean and duhamanize you, all while being expected to maintain a smile and cool composure while someone literally debates to your face your own existence or how “actually it’s YOUR people’s fault you’re being slaughtered! Israel isn’t the bad guy here!”

Constantly being forced to choose between engaging in bad-faith debates framed in a way to make you look like the unreasonable bad guy while the person implicitly defending your ethnic cleansing is made to look like the “rational good guy” or looking after your own mental health, knowing that even refusing these “invitations” is itself a mark against you and your people

Constantly being told that you’re too “biased”, too “close”, too “emotional” about the literal slaughter of your people to be seen as a valid source, while Israelis and complete outsiders are given all the space they want to speak for us endlessly

Constantly seeing people being actively mislead and wondering if you have the capacity to reach out to them and attempt to share your narrative with them, knowing that if you don’t, they’re going to go on to propagate the same lies justifying your ethnic cleansing

Constantly having to combat GENUINE censorship throughout the media, social media, and society itself. It’s a fact proven by former Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Youtube employees that Palestinian voices have their reach censored in a way no one else does, which is why it’s so important to amplify and actively share Palestinian voices rather than just liking or indicating support

Constantly being told you don’t know your own history by people who’ve educated themselves on Youtube and Wikipedia despite having lived the reality yourself and dedicating your entire life to studying every single aspect of it

Constantly seeing those who have the courage to stand alongside you being shut down with accusations of antisemitism and seeing them lose their courage to stand by you out of fear of their own image and livelihood and having to rush to their defense as well

Constantly having to see photos of your people, sometimes even people you know, maimed, injured, murdered, or burned to ash by Israeli aggression but knowing you have a duty to share what’s happening and must stomach the images to show the world the true extent of the suffering we endure

Constantly having to worry not just for your own safety, but the safety of your family and loved ones who can be punished or targeted because of things you yourself say

Constantly wondering who you can actually trust, from new friends and acquaintances to professors to even other Palestinians because we’ve been so heavily infiltrated by Israeli intelligence looking to blackmail Palestinians using anything from their sexual orientation or even made up “evidence” meant to ruin their lives

Constantly having your heart sink every notification you get wondering if it’s news that a loved one has been killed

Constantly seeing the corpses of loved ones shared on social media and reliving the trauma all over again, yet again knowing that you WANT the world to see what’s happening

Constantly seeing the effects this has on your own family and feeling helpless to do anything

Constantly on alert for the FBI at your door as they often “visit” Palestinians who dare speak out, myself included on numerous occasions 

Constantly wondering if your advocacy for your people is going to result in the loss of your job, scholarship, license

Constantly being asked to “humanize” and “feel for” those who live their lives day in day out completely unfazed by your suffering despite living in a society that couldn’t even FUNCTION without our subjugation

Constantly being told “don’t blame regular Israelis, blame the government!!” as if the state itself wasn’t founded on our ethnic cleansing, as if it isn’t “normal Israelis” who make up the entirety of the Israeli Military and have actively brutalized you and your people

Seeing allies you fought for suddenly SILENT when it’s their time to speak up

Studying on a US campus where those SAME SOLDIERS WHO ENGAGED IN YOUR PERSECUTION AND ACTIVELY SERVED AS THE ENFORCERS OF YOUR OCCUPATION then re-enact the trauma against you and you’re meant to simply ignore the fact that THEY ARE THE SAME PEOPLE WHO MURDERED YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY, and not being allowed to even be ANGRY at that

Trying to navigate this half-life in the diaspora where it’s a struggle to connect with other Palestinians given the distance between us and yet not being able to connect with anyone around because, again, they simply can’t understand

Constantly being expected to simply give up your time to those who demand you answer them and debate your existence and narrative with them, who them take you blocking them for your own mental health as a “victory” to be lorded over you when you simply can’t take it anymore

Constantly having to EXPLAIN all of this because nobody but other Palestinians can truly understand just how pervasive, overwhelming, and incapacitating this unique form of exhaustion is

Constantly seeing your erasure and ethnic cleansing defended all over the media, all over social media, throughout your academic career, while those ENGAGED in your ethnic cleansing have the audacity to claim that the media is biased against THEM

Constantly on guard with everything you say and write, knowing that unlike those promoting our ethnic cleansing, we don’t have the luxury of making mistakes or getting lazy in our writing and advocacy. One mistaken source, mistaken information, being imperfect is enough to discredit your voice entirely

The crippling obligation you have to share the narrative of your people, knowing that so many people will view you as the spokesperson of your entire people, knowing how unfair it is, but also knowing that if you DON’T speak out, nobody will on your behalf, and even the most well-intentioned, involved allies can simply never understand how it all truly feels

Seeing the entire world stand by and do absolutely nothing while your people are slaughtered time and time again

Seeing your history misconstrued by people implicitly defending your ethnic cleansing and settler-colonialism

Knowing that our parents have been through this and more, seeing them have to go through this yet again while still being forced to go about their daily lives and given no time to mourn or recover

Not being able to even share our culture without being attacked for it

Knowing that so many of your friends and family won’t ever be able to return to their homeland while foreigners from around the globe are flown into Israel free because it’s their “birthright”

A “birthright” denied to even my own parents, born in Jerusalem yet unable to enter it

Having even self-proclaimed “allies” question Palestinian resistance, policing our tone, never /really/ understanding our pain and anger and how they themselves contribute to it

Screaming from the moment you can about what’s happening to us, desperately trying to get people to CARE, and having it often fall on deaf ears

Knowing that if you’re not the source of information for those genuinely seeking to learn, they may find themselves mislead by sources that claim to be fair and balanced while imprinting subtle lies about Palestine and Palestinians on those they engage with

Not even being able to find the energy and ability to respond to genuine messages of love and support, which are greatly appreciated, and feeling bad about it because you don’t want to seem like you’re not genuinely happy to hear it

Feeling a sense of overwhelming exhaustion in times like this while at the same time being unable to sleep

Seeing the effect all of this has had on your people, knowing your people have among the highest rates of depression on the planet and yet we’re all suffering together with no way to ease the pain

Being constantly exposed to the ways in which your people are erased and questioning if you have the energy or sanity left to deconstruct such aggression to help outsiders understand the severity of it all

Seeing allies suddenly call for “peace” when Palestinians are finally fed up enough to rise up and fight back against an overwhelming military force

I could go on, but in case you it’s not already clear, I’m tired and exhausted

Always wondering if any of this is even worth it when the world has ignored your slaughter and ethnic cleansing for nearly 8 decades, knowing that nobody is about to step in to help now.

Constantly wondering if any of this is even worth it, and then feeling inspired by fellow Palestinians, our resilience, the fact that despite ALL of this and more, we continue to fight.

Despite all of this, I would never even consider or entertain the thought of being born as anything other than Palestinian

[starlightrows]

8 — The Healer

The Queen of Tatooine Masterlist

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Pairing: Boba Fett x reader

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: NSFW, Blood and injury, medical, unintentional self inflicted harm, mention of disordered eating (Not graphic, but warnings still apply), oral sex (f receiving)

Summary: You get the chance to start working on a long awaited project, and get in over your head.

A few days later your breakfast with Talece and Mira is interrupted by the head of one of the construction and renovation crews to let you know that the sunless garden space is complete.

You’re so excited you can hardly finish your meal. You find yourself wanting to sprint down the halls to see the room. It takes so much self restraint to compose yourself and walk beside the rather stoic and unbothered construction lead down to the room.

Before the renovation it must have been either a ballroom or a massive storage space. Either way it was not well maintained. It was full of piles and piles of junk that climbed all the way to the ceiling, the floors and the walls were damaged, and it was unusable.

It had been your idea to gut the room and turn it into something usable and unique. You loved having a garden on your homeworld, and since nothing grows on Tatooine due to the excessive heat from the suns and the lack of fertile soil, this seemed like the perfect use for the room.

Boba didn’t have much of an opinion on it either way when you initially pitched him the idea. In all honesty, he was just happy to see how happy it made you. He was quite impressed by your ingenuity creating this room. Artificial sun and moon lighting in real time with the seasons, water reclaimer and distributor so that whatever plant you choose can be watered without wasting it, and holo panels covering the walls to make the entire space look like an enclosed greenhouse.

And when you finally get to look at it, it’s perfect. Rows of raised garden beds, the lighting and holo panels look so real you’re almost sure they misunderstood your directions and just built out a patio instead.

“If there’s anything we missed or not up to your standard let us know, my lady” the foreman tells you

“No no, this is absolutely perfect” you can’t contain the smile on your face “Thank you! Thank you so much, it’s wonderful”

The foreman has to hold back a laugh, you’re practically vibrating, you're so elated. In all his years of doing large scale projects like this, he’s never had a client seem so appreciative.

“I’ll leave you to it my lady” The foreman politely exits the room, leaving you to wander around and admire their handiwork.

As you walk you begin taking notes on your data pad, for what plants and flowers you want to put in which planter boxes. It’ll be a tall order to get all the seeds and plant bulbs delivered here, but once they’re planted and growing, this will be a sight to behold!

You land up spending the entire day in the garden, labeling planter boxes with bits of flimsy tacked on the sides. Talece brought down a tray of food and insisted you eat something, but she also took the time to let you gush about the vegetables you planned to grow and how beautiful the room will be when things begin to bloom.

When you’re too exhausted to stand up straight any longer you make the long trek through the palace back to your room. Only to lay down on the bed with your data pad to begin placing the orders for soil, seeds, bulbs, labels, and plant pots. When you finally power off the data pad, you’re so happy. You can’t wait for Boba to be home so you can show him how amazing it all is.

You hear from Boba a couple days later, he is finally returning to Tatooine, and is “very excited” to see your new projects. He can’t help but smile picturing you squealing with delight as you show him all of your little plants and paintings.

On the same day, your soil and seeds finally arrive at the palace. You almost feel bad for having guards and some of the stronger looking servants help you drag bags of soil down to the garden. You feel less bad because you’ve got your sleeves rolled up to do the heavy lifting too.

Once everything is down there though, you release them to go back to their everyday duties. You get into a rhythm. Slice the seam off a soil bag. Dump into a planter box. Distribute evenly, and rake to till it. Move on to the next planter box.

Hours and hours and hours of this pass. You couldn’t be happier. It reminds you of summers back on your home planet, planting the seeds that would eventually become your fall crops. That would later become your fall meals. Soups and stews thickened with vegetables, roasted root and tubers to go with roasted meat, and gourds to be cooked down into mush to be put into pastries. It’s too hot to have such a need for hearty hot foods like that here on Tatooine. But you still crave them from time to time. It’s one of the only things you miss about your previous home.

As you’re slicing open a bag of soil, thinking about soup, you put in just a little too much force and swipe the blade farther than you expected. At first you don’t really feel it. But then you see the colorful bloom of fresh blood staining your sleeve. You’re stunned for a moment looking at it.

Your hands are covered with dirt. Mind over matter you resist the urge to clamp your dirty hand down over the bloody wound. Instead you calmly stand up and go back to your room. Staring straight ahead, not really able to look at it at the moment.

You get back to your room and know without looking that it is still bleeding but not that bad. I’ve had worse. I’ve had worse. I’ve had worse. You recite to yourself. You start the facet in the fresher and clean your hands, some of the blood has dribbled down your arm into your hand. You scrub it away quickly so you can peel off the shirt.

You take a deep breath and look in the mirror. It’s bloody. But not bad. You figure if you can clean it well and wrap it tightly it’ll be fine. You decide you’re done for today and it might be best if you just clean it in the shower. Perhaps not your best decision, but people make poor choices when they’re in shock.

Eventually you are clean, dry, dressed, and have the wound wrapped in a clean bandage. The shock has finally worn off, leaving you feeling exhausted and in quite a bit of pain. You know you’ve probably pushed yourself a bit too far today, and not just because you got hurt. You didn’t remember to take breaks, drink water, or eat meals at all today. A nasty habit you’re still trying to break.

Tomorrow will be better, you promise yourself. You do the responsible thing and lay down for the rest of the evening, falling asleep to an older episode of one of the shows Boba likes to watch.

In the morning, your whole body is sore and the wound hurts pretty badly. You risk taking a peek at it, the bandage is mostly soaked through but not enough to stain the bedding or your clothes… your clothes from yesterday.

You groan in frustration, blood stains are difficult to remove if you let them set. Sitting up you feel a little dizzy, chalk it up to lack of food and water plus everything that happened yesterday. Today is going to be better, you remind yourself. You start by getting out of bed and drinking a glass of water from the fresher. There you already feel a little better.

Next you search around for your dirty clothes from yesterday. Just as you thought, stained. You decide to run some water in the bathtub and let it soak with soap while you take care of the wound. It’s certainly not a pretty sight, but you muscle your way through it and get it clean once more and wrapped as best you can. It’s not perfect but it will have to do.

Just as you finish up you hear a knock at the bedroom door followed by the door opening on its own. You flinch at the sound. Usually if someone in the palace needs your help they will knock but wait for you to bid them entry or open the door yourself. This can only mean one thing.

“Cyare?” It’s Boba! You turn quickly and dash out of the fresher, leaving the medical supplies on the counter.

“Boba!” You exclaim running into his waiting arms. He snatches you up in a bracing hug and laughs at your enthusiasm.

“I tried to com you last night to tell you I would be home in the morning but you didn’t answer. I figured you were asleep” He explains releasing you from the hug and pressing a kiss to you cheek.

“Oh yeah, I was really tired yesterday. I fell asleep with the holo on” you tell him with a bit of an embarrassed heat creeping up into your cheeks.

“You needed rest, can’t be blamed for that my dear” he assures you, tilting your face up to him to give you a proper kiss on the lips. The kiss deepens, both of you finding that you can’t seem to pull away.

“Stars I missed you” you say quietly when you finally have to break for fresh air

“I missed you too cyare. Let me clean up a bit and we can have some breakfast together” he lets you go completely now. You smile and nod happily. He kisses you one more time, and moves past you to go into the fresher while you go find clothes to wear for the day.

Suddenly Boba is calling your name from the fresher. Your heart fills with dread at the thought of what he’s just seen in there.

“What the hell happened in here? Are you alright?” He begins scanning you up and down with his eyes, zeroing in on the bandage on your arm.

“It’s okay! I’m okay” you assure him, trying to push past and clear away the medical supplies from the counter

He places his hands on his shoulders and spins you around to face him, carefully saying your name again with a warning air about him. His hands stay on your shoulders and he looks you in the eye when he asks again. “What happened?”

“It’s nothing really, I cut myself opening a bag of soil yesterday” you explain

He sighs and shakes his head “And what did the healer say?”

“I… I didn’t see a healer” you admit sheepishly

“What? Why not?” He’s appalled and a little frustrated

“I didn’t think it was necessary, I’ve had worse before” you realize his shock and frustration is not unfounded, any rational person probably would have spoken to a healer about this.

“Had worse? And you handled it yourself? Cyare, that is a serious injury” He says, as if repeating it would get you to understand the severity of the situation.

“Boba… I wasn’t welcome to visit the healer on my homeworld. I’m sorry, I didn’t think to ask for help” Suddenly you feel guilty and a little defensive “I don’t… I don’t know how to do that when I’m in trouble. I didn’t even think about it”

Then he understands. Of course you wouldn’t think to ask for help when you hurt yourself. Because you’ve been conditioned to think you would not get it if you asked. He has to remind himself that he too used to struggle with asking for assistance, and it’s something that he needs to be understanding about in this relationship.

“Alright, alright. I’m sorry cyare, I didn’t mean to overwhelm you” he apologizes “I was just worried when I saw the bloody clothing and used medical supplies. I know you did your best with what you had at the moment. But now you’re not in danger, and we have the resources to have a healer that will actually help you. May I call someone to come look at it?”

You nod in acceptance and let him guide you back out into the main living space in your quarters. He sits you down in a chair, and asks that you just sit and relax for a couple minutes while he steps outside to give instructions to a guard or staff member.

He instructs a guard to go into Mos Eisley and bring back a healer, and a second guard to instruct the kitchen staff to bring a pitcher of hot water as well as breakfast. A few moments later there’s a gentle knock at the door. Boba calls for them to enter, and Mira comes forward bringing the pitcher of water and a tray laden with tea, toast, and eggs cooked the way you like them. She has a look of horror on her face as she sees Boba tending to your injured arm, and you cringe thinking back to your conversation with her the other day.

But Boba doesn’t seem to notice at all, “Thank you Mira, we might need more water if the healer asks for it later”

She gives a shaky curtsy and small voiced “Of course, my lord. My lady” before quickly leaving the room.

“So” Boba gives you a look “Cut yourself opening a bag of soil aye? Does that mean your fancy garden is finished?”

“Yes” you smile a little shyly, knowing that if he gets you talking about it you won’t shut up for the next half an hour at least

“Go on then, tell me everything” he encourages you, because more than anything, he missed hearing you gush about things you care about while he was traveling.

As you eat your breakfast you tell him about your new painting studio and the garden and all the plants you’ve ordered. Which things have arrived, which things you’re still waiting for. You tell him the truth about yesterday, that you had been at it for hours and your hand just slipped when you hurt yourself.

“Accidents happen cyare” he reminds you “I just want you to be more careful”

Just then there is another knock at the door, Boba calls for them to enter. The guard he sent into town has returned with the healer, and you’re surprised to see that you recognize him.

“It’s you, hello again” you greet him.

The man looks a little stunned. When you had asked him to make a remedy for chemical burn scars, you had said it was for your partner, not the kriffing king!

“Y-yes… nice to see you again… um… What seems to be the problem?” he asks, struggling to get his bearings.

Boba takes the liberty of explaining your injury to the healer, and invites him to come take his place so he can examine the wound and assess if it needs further treatment. While the healer works Boba excuses himself to remove his armor and get cleaned up in a different room of the palace. But he leaves two guards to watch over you. When Boba’s gone the healer looks up at you.

“You didn’t tell me your partner was the kriffing king” he hisses as he unwraps the bandage

“That was intentional” you explain “I can’t just go broadcasting to the entire city what my business is”

“Yeah but you might have mentioned it” he grumbles “would have charged you more”

He takes a look at your wound and takes on a look of concentration and disappointment

“What?” you ask with a touch of worry in your voice

“This needs stitches and bacta. You should have come to me or another healer immediately” he chastises you

“Hey, I did my best okay. And if you’re going to get mouthy can I at least know your name so I know who to curse in my mind when you stitch me up?” You bite back

“Darius” he replies “And you can curse me all you like, but you’ll thank me later when this heals without an ugly scar”

“Fine” you relent and let him get to work recleaning and stitching up the wound.

By the time Boba returns Darius has the wound rewrapped and is writing out instructions to keep it clean on a spare bit of flimsi. Darius gets markedly more tense when Boba is in the room, clearly he’s more intimidated by Boba than he is by you. He hands you the piece of flimsi and reminds you to be more careful next time before hastily departing the room with guards escorting him. Boba sends the breakfast tray out as well, finally giving you both some privacy.

“Now then, I believe I promised you a reward last we spoke” he leans forward to kiss the sensitive spot just behind your ear.

You hum in contentment as he continues kissing down your neck.

“Have you been a good girl while I’ve been gone?” he purrs

“Yes” you say with a little gasp and he sucks a particularly pleasant spot

“Go lay down for me” he pulls away from your neck and nods his head towards the bed. You get up quickly and toss the pillows up to the head of the bed and lay back.

He crawls up the bed slowly, pushing your legs apart at the knees dipping down to start a trail of kisses leading up and over your thigh. He breezes right past your needy pussy and instead continues kissing over your hips, and across to your tummy.

“You were so good for me on the com” he murmurs, dragging his nose across your skin, down from your belly button to top of your mound. He’s looking up at your pretty face, wanting to see every expression cross it.

Without blinking an eye, pushes his tongue between your lips and licks a broad stripe up, already tasting your arousal. He continues, slowly stroking you with his tongue up and down, up and down, up and down.

You can’t help it, you start squirming. It feels amazing, but his slow pace is driving you wild. Normally Boba might be a little mean and make you stay still, but it’s been too long and he’s loving watching you writhe in pleasure.

He maintains his long strokes but begins increasing his speed. Finally working an audible moan out of your chest. He switches tactic and pauses mid stroke, and begins fluttering his tongue just barely inside your dripping hole.

“Fuck!” You whimper trying to force yourself not to buck your hips into his mouth.

He knows you’re getting close and he knows just what to get you to the finish line, he makes one more broad stroke with his tongue and stops at the top of his path and latches onto your clit. Suckling and circling the swollen bud with his talented tongue.

Your whole body tensed with such force that you’re sure you might have pulled a muscle and moan in ecstasy as you cum on his face. Boba doesn’t stop, he continues to lap up your release all the way through your orgasm. When you’re finally laying back boneless with your eyes closed, breathing heavily he pulls away kissing back up your belly with feather light pressure until he’s hovering over you, kissing your neck and waiting for you to feel ready to open your eyes again.

Eventually you do open your eyes again, and place your hand on the back of his head to guide him away from your neck. He follows your direction and comes back down to kiss your lips.

“That was one hell of a reward” you say with a breathy laugh

“What can I say? I’m a man of my word” he shrugs laying down beside you

“You certainly are” you smile “I’m really glad you’re back”

“You really did miss me” he chuckles

“Of course I did! I love getting to talk to you about the garden and my painting and my projects. And I really missed getting to relax with you at night. And I love watching your weird holo dramas and hearing about your clients and having dinner with you. I just love… you” you find yourself admitting

He reached out, cradling your face in his hand, stroking your cheek with his thumb “I love you too cyare. I missed you dearly while I was gone. Thought about you every morning when I woke up and every night before I went to sleep”

Your heart soars hearing him say that. It’s easy to fall in love. Day in and day out, it just happens. It’s hard to admit you’re in love. You have to find the words to explain to someone why they are the most important person in your life and they give you unending joy even when you’re not right next to them. But with Boba it’s easy. It’s easy to be in love and it’s easy to say it.

“I love you”

Tag List: @cannedsoupsucks​ @otterly-fey​ @paige6768​  @littledragonlady​ @star-hoes​ @aeryntheofficial​ @xx-small-town-witch-xx​ @lokigirlszendaya​ @ladysongmaster​ @2clones-1kamino​ @cagrame​ @ashbyrhymer​ @adancedivasmom​ @4rosydreams​ @heybub​ @thefact0rygirl​ @elinedjarin

[lostbbygorl]

LOOK WHAT THE RAIN HAS BROUGHT (LEVI X F!READER):

AU: PRIDE AND PREJUDICE BY JANE AUSTEN

~~~~

The dark gray clouds that hung in the sky perfectly described the mood of the young woman who ran as fast as she could, hot tears streaming down her rosy cheeks, and feet aching out of exhaustion. But no matter, she still ran with her burgundy dress so soaked she was positive it even reached her corset. The rainfall grew heavier and heavier by the second.

At last, Y/N reached the pillars in the vast garden that offered her some shelter. Her back hit the walls with an inaudible thud, and she shut her puffy eyes and felt pure misery as well as icy rain.

Her head hurt and her mind raced with depressing thought after depressing thought after depressing thought… and then anger!

Levi Ackerman was behind her dearest sister, Christa’s, unhappiness!

Christa had previously been madly in love with Ackerman’s bestest friend, Erwin. The entire family was expecting a proposal when Erwin explained his departure from Trost in a letter which broke Christa’s heart. Christa was still mourning over the man as he had left so suddenly and with barely any explanation. Seeing Christa so broken had dampened Y/N’s mood as well, and now that she found out that the man she most hated was behind this outrage, she wanted to burn all his miserable property to the ground!

Speak of the devil.

Just as the rainfall had gotten calmer, Y/N noticed a figure dressed in an expensive black suit approach her. Even in the pouring rain Y/N could make out the expressionless, solemn, infuriatingly handsome face of Levi Ackerman: one of the richest but also one of the most arrogant, rude, and unfriendly men to walk on earth.

Levi’s usually neat hair was tousled by the raindrops, and his usually spotless attire was spoiled by the mud he was trudging on to reach Y/N. Still, the young woman jumped slightly at the intrusion of a deeply vulnerable moment.

Levi didn’t notice the woman’s tears or her red eyes. His mind was too preoccupied with the heavy confession and proposal he had planned.

It was the two of them alone now, just as he had always wanted it to be. Levi took a deep breath, and with a soft gaze, he stared into Y/N’s eyes.

“ Ms. Y/N, I have struggled in vain and I can bear it no longer”, he started, still very much focused on the young woman’s eyes, completely oblivious to her now confused expression.

“These past few months have been a torment. I have come to Shiganshina with the single motive of seeing you, I have to see you”, he continued, surprising not only himself but Y/N as well. Levi had never confessed feelings to anyone, especially not deeply romantic ones. Y/N was different. She made him feel warm. She made him want to come out of his comfort zone, and she brightened his day whenever they met with her charming wit and honesty.

“ I’ve fought against my better judgement, my family’s expectations, the inferiority of your birth, my rank, and all these things and circumstances I’m willing to put aside. I ask you to end my agony”, he finished. He thought he made himself very clear. Apparently not.

“ I don’t understand”, asked Y/N, confused and with no hint of anger in her soft voice. Y/N always was sharp and intelligent. 9 times out of 10 her intuition and hunches were right, but god she hoped that wasn’t the case now, as this hunch seemed absolutely ridiculous!

Levi was screaming inside, but as always, maintained his perfect composure. The time had come, and for the very first time, he was about to say three words he had never ever dawdled on in his life.

“ I love you”, he breathed, his stoic expression softening further. His usually cold expression melted into one of sincere affection and hopefulness. But Y/N wasn’t impressed! Her prior anger had returned, and this time, it was more intense than ever! With her mouth agape, Y/N stared at the man in front of her with eyes as wide as saucers.

“ Most ardently”, Levi cut through the white noise that was the rain with his crisp, deep voice, gray orbs never leaving Y/N.

“ Please do me the honor of accepting my hand”, Levi requested.

“ Sir, I”, she stuttered, her mind reeling once more. She was repulsed, but she’d be maintaining her composure too. Y/N decided to gracefully reject his proposal.

“ I appreciate the struggle you’ve been through and I’m sorry to have caused you pain. Believe me, it was unconsciously done”, she said, her tone as cold as ice. Levi was taken aback. He hadn’t expected such a cold, curt response to his proposal. Now it was his turn to have his temper rise…

“ Is this your reply?”, he asked still in disbelief

“ Yes, sir”, Y/N confirmed

“ Are you laughing at me?”, Levi asked, his heartbeat quickening

“ No”

“ Are you rejecting me?”, he said, his already pale skin growing paler, making him look like a ghost.

Y/N didn’t know what part of her response wasn’t going through his skull, and decided to make her point clear once more, this time with less civility.

“ I’m sure that the things you’ve told me which hindered your regard will help you in overcoming it”, she spat, riling Levi up more.

“ Might I ask why with so little endeavour at civility I must repulse?”

“ And I might as well enquire why with such evidence of a design of insulting me you chose to tell me you like me against your better judgement”, Y/N spat back, all composure gone.

“ No, believe me, I didn’t mean-” Levi began only to get off by a fuming Y/N.

“ If I was uncivil then that’s some excuse, but I have other reasons, you know I have”, Y/N shouted back, pouring all her frustration and unheard thoughts onto the man.

“ What reasons?”Levi asked, genuinely lost.

“ Did you think that anything would tempt me to accept the hand of the man who has ruined the happiness of my dearest sister, perhaps forever?”, Y/N finally voiced, lips quivering.

Levi made a little “oh”, realizing what put a damper on their possible relationship. Still, he didn’t back down. Levi may have been in love with Y/N, but his stubborn nature and pride made him refuse to let her off. He didn’t let anyone win in a fight, not even Y/N.

“ Do you deny it, Mr. Ackerman, that you’ve separated a young couple who really loved each other, therefore exposing your friend to the censure of the world for caprice and my sister, to its derision for disappointed hope?”, she began again, this time with a slight cry in her voice.

“ I do not deny it”, Levi deadpanned.

“ How could you do it?”Y/N demanded with a soft voice.

“ Because I believe your sister is indifferent to him”, he said honestly.

“ Indifferent?”

“ I watched them most carefully and realized his attachment was deeper than hers”

“ That’s because she’s shy”, Y/N yelled!

Levi took a second to process her words. That may be true, he thought, but still, he wouldn’t give up.

“ Erwin, too, is modest and was persuaded she didn’t feel strongly for him”,

“ Because you suggested it”

“ I did it for his own good’

“ My sister hardly shows her true feelings to me”, Y/N exclaimed, shaking with a rage so pure she could hear her heartbeats in her ears!

Levi’s eyes widened, and he was unable to close his mouth. He realized the depth of his mistake, and internally cursed at himself when he realized that this mistake was nearly impossible to fix. But even now, he still had one last argument to make, and this argument was the strongest and most heartfelt of all. Infact, even Y/N didn’t have much in her mind to counter it!

However, before he could speak, Y/N started talking again.

“ I supposed you suspected his fortune had some bearing on the matter”, she accused.

“ No, I wouldn’t do Christa the dishonor”, he denied, almost offended.

“ But it was suggested”, Levi admitted.

“ What was?”, Y/N asked, loudly, her previously hung head now erect.

“ It was made perfectly clear that an advantageous marriage-”

“ Did my sister give that expression”, Y/N was outraged!

“ No, no, no”, Levi countered, trying to calm her down.

“ There was however the matter of your family”, Levi added. He knew it’d make things more heated, but he had to be honest. Honesty, brutal honesty to be specific, was something Levi was always known for.

“ Our want of connection? That Mr. Smith didn’t seem at all bothered by?”

“ No, it was more than that. It was the lack of propriety shown by your mother, your three younger sisters, and even on occasion your father”, he revealed. The look in his eyes was one of regret yet sternness. He knew that his words had deeply hurt Y/N, perhaps more than hers had hurt him. Y/N was grossly offended! How dare this snobby man insult the people she held most dear? How dare he hit her with the cold truth that she herself knew deep down…

Y/N remembered how boisterous and embarrassing her family was being at the ball where she and Mr. Ackerman had first met. Everyone was staring disapprovingly at them, and some of the wealthier attendees had whispered amongst themselves about her younger sisters. Y/N knew her family had a lot of improvements to make behaviour wise, but that didn’t stop her from feeling hurt.

" I’m sorry”, Levi apologized. He truly was sorry, but he couldn’t change the truth or take back his words.

“ You and Christa are excluded from the category I put the rest of your family in”, Levi added, hoping it’d make things better.

It had done nothing, as Y/N still had more points up her sleeve.

“ And what about Mr. Zeke Yeager?”, she questioned. Zeke Yeager had charmed Y/N months ago, and told her about how Levi had wronged him so terribly without reason. The mention of his name had hit a nerve in Levi. What was that expression on his face now? Jealousy, bitterness?

“ Mr. Yeager?”, he repeated.

“ What excuse do you have for your behaviour towards him?”

“ You take an eager interest in that gentleman’s concerns”, Levi seethed, confirming that he was indeed jealous. Levi strode up to Y/N, shortening the gap that was between them before Yeager was brought up. Levi’s eyes searched for any hint of pettiness in Y/N’s. Maybe she was just as stubborn as he was and continuing an argument that should’ve been resolved by now. But no, to his sadness, Y/N’s eyes were full of affection for Yeager, and anger at Levi.

“ He told me of his misfortune”, Y/N said.

“ Oh, yes, his misfortune is big indeed”, Levi scoffed sarcastically.

“ You ruined his chances and yet you treat him with sarcasm”, Y/N noticed with disgust.

Levi wanted to scream and tell her that her impression of Yeager was completely wrong and that she was deceived. He wanted to defend himself, but for the first time in his life, he couldn’t bring himself to do that. Levi’s stubbornness faltered, and he felt that winning Y/N’s heart would be near impossible now. There was so much she didn’t know, there were so many misconceptions she had, and there was so much she had against him rightfully. Levi hid the sorrow in his heart by letting his usual monotonous tone return to his voice…

“ So this is your opinion of me”, he asked, trying to sound calm and indifferent, but accidentally letting a sliver of sadness seep into the question. Y/N noticed everything, but she couldn’t get herself to care about his feelings right now. She was seeing red, but so was he.

Y/N’s silence agitated the man more.

“ Thanks for explaining so fully. Perhaps these offences might’ve been overlooked had your pride not been hurt by my honesty in a bit of a scruple about our relationship”, Levi let his tongue fly! He knew his words had stabbed Y/N in the same places hers had stabbed him! He couldn’t keep his calm anymore. His patience and grace was tested, and now Y/N would face its consequences.

“ Could you expect me to rejoice in the inferiority of your circumstances?”, he questioned, his voice raising with each syllable. Y/N could feel tears welling up inside her again. My god, she hated this man. He insulted her family and status, then proceeded to hurt her pride and scathingly expose it, and now he was showing his superiority complex!

“ These are the words of a gentleman?" Y/N wondered aloud, her glare burning holes in Levi’s face.

“ From the first moment I saw you your arrogance, your conceit, your selfish disdain for the feelings of others made me realize that you are the last man in the world I would ever be prevailed upon to marry”, she yelled! As always, Levi was silenced by a remark made by the spunky, sharp tongued Y/N L/N. Levi’s heart was glass, and Y/N had dropped it on the floor without a care in the world. How could he have been so stupid to think he could lash out at a woman as strongheaded as Y/N, insult everything she held dear, an get away with it with no harm done? Y/N’s glare lost its intensity as she blinked a few times. Her sight didn’t leave Levi, but it faltered. Levi came even closer to her. Even though she had left scars on his heart, even though she had yelled at him and called out every single one of his biggest flaws, he loved her. He wanted her, and he warmed at the thought of being with her. He looked longingly at her lips, then her eyes, and then her lips again. There was no touching, but Y/N was disarmed.

She felt herself softening, and for the first time she noticed Levi’s attractiveness. Like a magnet, she subconsciously felt herself nearing Levi’s lips. She was attracted to him, yes, but she hadn’t forgotten the prior row, and that stopped her from closing the gap between them officially. She didn’t pull away, much to her surprise, Levi did.

“ Forgive me”, he said once again, knowing she wouldn’t forgive him so easily, but still meaning the apology. Now that his head had cleared, all the most miserable emotions hit him like a cane. There was sadness at the rejection, bitter jealousy at Y/N’s affection going to Mr. Yeager, the pain of having one’s pride being minced to shreds, and of course: heavy remorse for yelling such mean things at the woman he loved…

“ I’m sorry for taking up so much of your time, madam”, he whispered loud enough for Y/N to hear. And then he walked away without taking a single look back, leaving Y/N to drench in the rain some more.

Y/N stared at his back as he walked away, thinking of the argument and her feelings towards him. She didn’t understand how a man could infuriate her so much, but still disarm her with barely any effort and make her feel intense warmth.

Meanwhile, Levi’s heart cracked with every step he took. His love remained the same, even worse, it grew more severe. He wasn’t sure he had given up on winning Y/N over, but for now, he’d give her space, and pray to any lord up in the heavens who’d listen to him to change Y/N’s opinion on him, and to make him a better, more deserving man so that he could have her and make her happy, and of course: to make Y/N forgive him for all his grave mistakes which had caused this mess.

[streets-in-paradise]

Royal Treatment

 Troy (2004) Reader Insert Fanfiction - Part 10 

Word Count:  + 9 K

Characters ( most mentioned) : Achilles, Mycenaean Princess!Reader, Helen, Patroclus, Ajax, Agamemnon, Menelaus. 

Pairings: Achilles x Mycenaean Princess!Reader.

Warnings:  Very light smutty undertones.

Summary: Since her last private encounter with Achilles left her with more doubts than certainties, the princess keeps trying to obtain a clear answer from him. During the celebrations, she comes up with an idea to test his interest. 

Disclaimers: This was inspired by a mix of greek music ,various drum solos and improvisations of greek folk that I found on youtube and some mediterranean, egyptian and turkish music I have been listening to. Also, I want to apologise if part of this sucks. i’m still learning how to write some stuff and I don't know if this is as good as it was in my head when i pictured it. 

Note: My use of the name Alexander here is only a reference. I know that’s how Paris was called in some versions of the myths and I’m only playing word games with that. 

Tags: @yerevasunclair @mother-dearest-loves-me 

The celebrations started with a short formal gathering in the throne room. The place was slowly getting crowder and the princess arrived later than usual but it wasn’t a concerning time range. Wordlessly, she returned to her spot alongside her father. She noticed the cup of wine he was holding and smiled to the pourer that remained close to him. The servant boy smiled back and the king looked at him like he was ready to order his execution. As a soft gesture of support against his bad mood, she holded his free hand. She knew that words of reassurance trying to explain herself or a convincing tale weren’t enough, so she tried something else. The sudden contact made him stare at her. He was still upset, she saw it in his eyes. Quickly, she changed the intention of her approach. Instead of acting like a caring daughter giving him reassurance, she showed the support of a loyal subdit. She kissed his knuckles and bowed her head in sign of respect, pretending to recognize his absolute authority over her. Agamemnon reacted positively, giving her a half smile that wasn’t exactly of approval but showed forgiveness. He was vainglorious about his self perceived but non existent mercy, appealing to that was more effective than trying to show affection.

The obsequious flatterers of the king started to gather around them, since that part of the festivities was nothing but an excuse to formally celebrate himself. Inevitably, some of the praise fell upon her and she kept her attitude towards it pleasing and passive, avoiding smart remarks or destacable commentary. She wished she could be left alone with her friends, but she had to keep performing for a bit longer. Helen was close to her and right next to her husband, but the distance that implied was a real bother. They shared some complicit glances despite being under the watch of the brothers.

Using their unexpected presence as an excuse to flatter their own egos, both kings started to show off some of the treasures of the conquest presented as gifts for the ladies. Argos wasn’t sacked, there was no need for excessive violence because Achilles speeded up their surrender. Still, as it did for other cities, their submission implied some concessions. Agamemnon got the military control of the land and demanded a share on the treasures of the city. Since he didn’t have a queen, his daughter had to occupy the passive role in his acts of ostentation. She had a collection of jewelry that was entirely based on stolen relics from every city he conquered, having at least one for every place. That wasn’t going to be the exception. The acquired riches were everything he had to brag about after Achilles took the symbolic glory. Knowing that most of the presents must have heard about what the warrior demanded of her, it was also a good way to reinforce her royal magnificence and the image of his control over her. On that occasion, the commemorative object of the victory she got was a necklace.

The young women were the centre of attention, as luxury objects whose value was being increased. Menelaus was acting like a loveful husband to Helen while he filled her with gifts from his share of the spoils, his older brother almost looked like a sweet, prideful father. The ceremonialize praise was hypocrisy, but it was fun for both girls to see their despicable owners pretending to be caring. Fortunately for their exhausted selves, the last and most expectant arrival stole all the attention.

As always, Achilles showed up very late. He tended to skip the pointless ceremonies that weren’t about him and he liked to leave his public hanging. Eudorus and Patroclus entered the room at his right and left side, wondering what he was going to do next. Without minding the context or any appearances of propriety, he walked right to the front of the crowd. Once he found his spot to stay, he blatantly stared at the ladies and saluted them from afar with a smile. Before his entrance, Agamemnon was in the middle of a self complacent speech that he interrupted. The sight of such a simple act creating more distraction irritated him even more. The king tried to save words with him, but Achilles robbed him of the speech before he could carry on.

“ My apologies to the ladies, I almost miss their honors.” He simply commented. “ Quite a charming pair, very sweet. I hope they enjoy what my effort got for them.”

The women stared at each other.

“ It’s not my wish to offend you, brave Achilles, but I don’t depreciate my husband’s courage.” Helen replied with extreme politeness.

“ Father knows my taste in jewelry.” was the princess’s defense.” And he is a smart strategist and clever politician. The brightest conductor of the army, of course.” She smiled to the king, trying to look like a sweet praiser. “ Your alliance is a treasure we must cherish because your accomplishments together are an honor to us all.”

” You honored me, I’m doing the same. “ the myrmidon replied.

“ It was no bother, the glory is yours. Nobody questions that.” The princess gave him the most formal answer that occurred to her in the moment.

Trying to keep with the ceremonial tone, she created an immediate distraction to relieve the tension of the moment.

“ Can we all thank this man as he deserves? This is an historical day for the city. He is the first fully consecrated hero in the times of my father.”

To her exhortation, claps and cheers filled the precinct. After that, Agamemnon decided to put an end to the formalities. There was no way of making it about himself again, so he concluded it. The festivities continued in the banquet hall.

Helen tried to reach her niece so they could do the short walk there together, but her very pleased husband stumbed in their way. Unlike his brother, he was radiant of pride because of the fervent defense that his wife did of him. If he didn’t love Helen, at least he loved how she made him feel.

Agamemnon grabbed his daughter by the wrist before she could escape to their side. Holding hands for the appearances, the started a whispered argument.

“ This is your second mistake in a row. What do i have to do with you?” He reprimanded her.

“ I got away from that shameful situation in the most elegant way, that’s what I’m supposed to do. If i were a man, I would have punched him.” She lied.

“ If you were a man, I wouldn't need him.”

“ Do you think that you would have had your own Hector of Troy if I would have been your baby boy? Quit dreaming, father. This is what you have, I do my best to serve you.“

“ You call this serving me??”

“ Who do you think I was serving when I agreed to bathe him ? Do you think that I enjoyed being degraded into servant work for him ? ” She fakely complained. ” I hate his petty audacious attitude as much as you do, but I stand him because it is what I have to do. You don’t know how hard I’m trying for you.”

She released herself from his grab.

The banquet involved less tension because the informal ambient demanded less interaction between them. She had to sit next to her father and keep with the good behaviour but the distractions kept him too busy to keep bothering her. She remained silent most of the time, but she didn't mind.

Achilles and Ajax were the centre of attention. They had a toast in their honor and people started doing them all sorts of questions. Ajax looked a bit upset because the myrmidon stole what he perceived as his chance to get major glory. He was doing a relatively good act pretending not to care about Achilles's decisive role in the victory and she felt a bit bad for him. One of her very short interventions on the talking was an attempt to validate him, but Agamemnon used her comment as a startpoint for malicious comparisons against Achilles. Using his massive amount of knowledge on heroic tales, Patroclus solved the situation. He did a magnificent defense of both heroes, talking about the complementary balance of their best traits with examples of some of their past feats. His eloquence was impressive for someone of his age, as it was his audacity to argue with the king.

Helen was having the time of her life just by witnessing how Menelaus's nervousness was growing at every instant. It was very strange for her to see him like that, fearing that anything could trigger a suspicious response from his brother. He was having a small sample of the life of lies he forced her into and she loved it. The funniest aspect about the situation was that Patroclus maintained a respectful tone the entire time. He was polite in his corrections and Agamemnon would have been the one looking bad if he would have reacted harshly.

While hearing their argument, Achilles glanced at the royal ladies for an instant. He noticed a slight change in his cousin's attitude, a rush of confidence that he wasn't expecting him to display at least there. He started suspecting their involvement and it's possible partial influence on him. The women glanced back innocently and the three shared their prideful approbation.

Patroclus's shift on the conversation frustrated the king's intentions of turning one hero against the other. Ajax got his well deserved acknowledgement and the curious boy took his chance to do all sorts of specific questions to him, giving him a moment to shine without entering in disputes with Achilles.

Since her comment started the argument,the young myrmidon tried to engage the princess in his rambling. She wasn't versed in the technical aspects of combat, but she tried to remain as a curious listener. Ajax's point, supported by the boy, was to affirm that he was the strongest man in Greece while Achilles was the fastest. He was trying to impress his listeners with less known anecdotes referring to that quality. Achilles didn't bother in refuting him and he barely paid attention because he was amusing himself by subtly ruining the girl's focus on whatever he was telling. Imperceptible gestures, smirks or just staring at her for longer than necessary were enough to achieve it. Staying concentrated in the talk was impossible for her, but she managed the situation adecuately.

When the meal concluded and the dancing started, Ajax offered her to join the festivities with him. She declined in favor of staying as Helen's companion. Ereny asked the princess's permission to be released from her daily duties and, once it was given to her, both handmaids got it. They knew that the young girl was going for the myrmidon captain and they wished her good luck.

The queen was left once more to witness how her husband chased the concubines. She didn't love him nor cared for what he did with them, but the blatant display was humiliating. She struggled to keep the appearances of love between them, but he made it harder everyday. The prideful public aspect of his cheating upsetted her because it was an insult to her pride as a woman. Her niece stayed with her, promising her that they would only have to wait until the brothers would leave the room with their respective companies.

She was feeling slightly disencouraged as well. That was a great time to lose herself in the dispersion of people, but there were too many stares following Achilles and she would never get there unnoticed. An insane amount of women were expectantly waiting to be chosen by him for the night. The ladies were competing for his attention, some being less subtle than others. She wasn't jealous, but she didn't want to engage in that game. She never tried to compete for attention and she wasn't sure of wanting to start there.

While she remained in her seat watching the crowd, her mind kept focused on one thought: Achilles seemed to fancy her in some way, but she still didn’t know how. She started fearing about the image he had of her. He described her as cute, he said that her face was adorable. Those were compliments fitting for a sweet girl, not an attractive woman.

She didn't have any certains but, if it was the case, she wished she could prove him wrong. He teased her for a very long while and she wanted revenge, but she was the princess and she couldn't allow herself such behaviour. She urged to show him how perfectly capable of displaying sensuality she was and the first thing that occurred to her was dancing.

She never showed off in public about the full capacity of her skills. Immediately as she got older enough to be allowed to stay late night in festivities, she got enraptured by the dancing of the concubines and she ended up learning to dance from them. She wanted to learn it only for herself, because she loved the graceful aesthetical aspects of the movements and she admired their performances. Her father didn’t allow her to do it but, like almost every other thing bringing joy to her life, she did it behind his back.

It was her secret talent. If she could disguise herself in the group of dancers to participate in their performance, it would be hard to difference her from the actual performers. With that in mind, she started imagining Achilles's reaction if he could see her dancing like that. She wondered if he would feel as teased as he made her feel, if he would acknowledge her womanhood and if he would want her.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Helen.

" Do we have to stay like this the entire time?" She complained.

" We have to wait until they leave. It’s the best for now. " The girl replied. " I don't get it. Does he enjoy himself thinking that everyone is watching him cheat on you or what? Anyone would expect that after the devotion you faked he would think it twice and be more discrete but no, there he is... making you look like a fool. "

" I'm thankful to get him away from me. I only wish he could have some decency and keep it private.” The queen confessed. ” I don't deserve this humiliation. I'm a good wife, I do everything he demands of me. All I ask in return is to be respected, at least in public." Her voice was breaking a bit.

“ It’s never enough with them, they only think about themselves. “ the princess reminded. her.” I think we should do the same more often.”

“ What we did classifies as such.”

“ It wasn’t entirely selfish. We saved lifes … and their egos from an historical defeat. I mean a bit of real selfishness. A good payback. ”

“ I just want to be left alone. A lover wouldn’t repair the scars in my pride.”

“Many men would give everything they have for a night with you.” The princess commented to her. “ Do you never feel the need of being desired by a man that you want? “

“ Where did your good judgement go?” Helen mocked her.

“ You know everything about my sentimental life, but we never talk about yours.”

“ What most of those men have to offer is not what I would wish.” The queen explained. “ I have experienced desire. If we are talking about impossible aspirations, I want love.”

“ Why choose? You can have both.”

“ What did I do of you? Are you hearing yourself? Aren’t you the same girl whose goal was to have a nicely arranged marriage planned by herself using political strategy ? ”

“ You don’t want me to give up on love. Why should I let you do it ?

" You know better than anyone why I have to."

" That's not going to happen. My mother was alone, we have each other." the princess remarked. " Look at what we accomplished. We stopped a massacre, made a new friend and I got closer to the man I love, more than I ever thought I would be. "

" I told you, it is too late for me. "

" Helen,I used to think that my feelings for Achilles were a fantasy. I was ready to accept it as a comforting dream and carry on with my life. Thanks to you, I changed my mind. " the girl explained. "You have helped me so much. How can you think that I wouldn't do the same for you? "

" I doubt I would find love in a place like this, but I appreciate your concern. " the queen stated.

" Promise me that, if you do someday, you will let me help instead of giving up."

" We won a battle, dear. Not the war. " Helen clarified.

" We can win many more. " her niece reassured her. " You deserve to be loved and to own your desire."

"To be honest, I feel I’m more aware of what I don’t like in a man than of my actual preferences. I don't know what i like anymore. "

" Don't worry. We have time, i would love to help you to rediscover your taste. If it is not now, we will keep digging into figuring it out."

" It's not wise to get involved with someone that would never be mine. "

" You know what? I think I overcomed that. '' the princess declared. " I don't care anymore. Maybe Achilles will never be mine and so what? I want to be with him, I don't mind how. Perhaps he will never make me his wife and that's fine, I don't need to own him to love him. Love is not only about marriage. If marriage can exist without love, love can exist outside of marriage and you can find it. "

“ You have to tell me now what happened in that excuse of a bathing ceremony.” Helen teased her, encouraged and excited.

The princess tried to explain it to her carefully, watching over her expressions and paranoidly checking for the presence of unwanted listeners. Listening to her cheered Helen up.

“ What are you doing sitting here? “ she reprimanded her.

“ If I’m going to do a move, it has to be safer than this. “ The girl clarified. “ I can’t risk being seen by my father or inspiring gossip.”

“ He could have kissed you right there. “

“ Reason in the form of Hesione stopped me from finding out if he would have .” The princess added. “ I don’t know if i can do it now. Have you seen all those women ready to step on each other's heads for him? I’m not going to do that.“

“ You don’t have to be part of that,you are one step ahead.” Helen stated “ If you want a moment to get things clear. This is it.”

With that, she dragged her up from her seat.

The young ladies mixed themselves in the crowd, trying to have fun on their own. The princess procured not to concentrate in trying to find Achilles and just enjoy herself in the company of her aunt. Helen’s mood improved from the brief downfall it had because she redirected her thoughts. Instead of thinking of the public humiliation brought to her by her husband’s behaviour, she focused on the victory over him that she got. She humiliated him indirectly, her actions caused a situation that made him feel like an idiot in front of his brother. Some justice was served that time and she was able to celebrate. It was a small triumph, but just thinking about that made her start laughing without an apparent reason. The sudden boost in her joyful mood started to manifest in her dancing.

The queen’s grace was famous, but Helen never looked prettier as she did when she was really happy. She irradiated her emotions and the ambient felt renewed around her. Bright of happiness, she started dancing right in front of the musicians and the magnetic effect of her approach made them play the same song for longer, just so she wouldn’t leave. The percussionist was jaw dropping with her and even the princess was impressed by how obvious he was.

He was bewitched, but not in a lustfull way. The handsome young man was worshipping Helen with his music and she started responding with her dancing straightly to him. Since she realized that her niece was right next to her evaluating the situation, she encouraged her to follow her moves instead of teasing them with stares. Then, both girls found themselves dancing for the musicians and letting themselves go to the beat of their music.

Unlike the queen, the princess tried to keep her moves as chaste and cheerful as possible. Still, forgetting all her concerns to the sound of the music almost ruined her intentions . The fastening of the beat betrayed her for an instant and some very inappropriate hip flicks she did under the influence of the stimulation around her impressed her dancing companion. She isolated the movement of her hips to the rhythm of the song with a great synchrony. Sharp hip flicks combined with contractions of the lower belly creating a single circled swing. Cheering from the crew of artists made her realize of how she let herself go completely and she calmed down, going back to her usual style.

It was too late, Helen was too curious to let it go. Once the song ended, she had to abandon her admiror. Then, she started questioning her.

“ What was that?? It was incredible! “ She complimented her.

“ Sorry. The beat was great and you were pushing me in the wrong direction.”

“ When were you going to tell me about this?” The queen recriminated her.

“ Our mystery is solved. I think you are into pretty boys worshipping you with respect. Sweet admiration, not those looks of when you know that the man is mentally undressing you.” The princess teased her to avoid the topic.

“ Don’t try to get away from this. “ Helen teased back. “ You have to teach me that.”

“ I lost control, I wasn’t supposed to do that here .” the princess excused herself.

“ You will explain to me later where that came from, now I want to learn how to move my hips like that.”

“ We all have our unique ways of expression. You have your makeup skills, I have this.” the girl joked. “ I didn’t mean to hide it from you, the occasion to show you never presented. “

“ It presented itself now.” Helen rectified. “ We have music and a proper space. “

She was reluctant, but agreed.

“ Only because it’s you who is asking. I owe you too much to say no.” She admitted. “ This is absolutely inappropriate so i will only show you hip moves. For a proper lesson, I need secrecy."

“ Forget protocols, we are having fun.” Helen encouraged her.

Her niece took the position of instructor and decomposed the otherwise integrated steps of the movement so Helen could learn it and copy it. Very slow like at first, the queen achieved it with great enthusiasm. The princess oriented her into repeating it a few times before trying to find a pace with the rhythm. She guided her into picking that pace and, soon, both were dancing at a matching tempo. Helen looked bright with happiness.

" I don't want to brag, but this makes me feel beautiful." she joked.

" It's not very lady-like, but it's fun." her niece replied.

They were being happy with themselves, not caring about anything else. The relegated corner of the place they picked as their fun zone wasn't the safest spot to feel some freedom, but it was the best they had. For once, they ignored the certain chances of attracting stares, the perceptions and everything that tied them. The princess showed the queen two more combinations of hip movements. They were trying hip locks to the sides when a sudden but partially expected intromision ruined their bubble of concentration.

" Watch out, princess. Those moves look so sharp that you could have cutted me with your hips." Achilles told the mycenaean as he passed by right next to her.

The sound of his voice was enough to make her jolt and she lost herself to it, immediately stopping what she was doing.

" I’m glad to see you having fun. I tought you weren't going to get up. " Patroclus cheerfully saluted them, appearing right after him.

Both ladies at once responded to his greetings.

" What are you doing over here?" Helen inquired. " We saw you dancing right in the center with some girls a while ago. You are doing great."

" To be fair, most only looked at me because I'm standing next to him." the boy admitted. " When we came nobody cared but now everyone does because they found out I'm the cousin of Achilles."

" I'm doomed to always being the daughter of Agamemnon, very few people care beyond that." the princess commented. " I treasure those and don't mind for the rest. "

" Don't worry. You will make a name for yourself soon and that will end." Helen added. " Younger noble girls from big cities can be like that but growing up makes them wiser. In a few years, you will start to be seen as yourself and they will adore you. "

Achilles was impressed by the soft naturality of their interactions. They were comforting him as close friends. He kept listening to their conversation.

" It's fine, It doesn't affect me that much. " Patroclus tried to explain himself better. " In fact, I'm hiding from your husband."

To the mention of him, Helen looked exasperated.

" What has he done now?"

" He was talking with Achilles and I was there with them. " the boy started telling them. " He must be too drunk to care about being too friendly. He started saying nice things about me and ended up offering me a woman. "

Helen got second hand embarrassment.

" I'm sorry, darling. Did he make you feel uncomfortable?"

" He said some stupid thing about how he had her before and she was perfect to make me a man. It was disgusting."

" That's the House of Atreus at it's best. Imagine them at their worst. " the princess added. " Ignore him, Pat. You may be too young, but are already a better man than him."

" I have faith in you." Helen emphasized. " I think you 'll be a great hero because your morals match your potential as a warrior. You will make us all proud."

" We love you. " the princess concluded. " Keep ignoring anything you hear from him or my father. They think they know better than everyone else but they are the worst combination of cruel and stupid. "

" I leave him with you just once and you are already pampering and overprotecting him?” Achilles commented, his mocking hiding a shade of happiness. " He knows that Menelaus is not a good example of what truly means to be a man. "

" He has you. " the queen complimented him. " You aren't perfect, but you are guiding him right. It doesn't matter how many battles you win. To me, he reflects the best of you. "

Patroclus smiled at her. Helen's praise impacted him in a positive way.

" She wasn't a strong supporter of you." The princess clarified. " Her opinion changed after meeting him."

" Spending so much time with people who love you changes the perspective. " The queen hinted, indirectly including her niece in the affirmation." I used to think you were a cold, emotionless man with no care for anything. Your bond with Patroclus is only one of many proofs of how wrong I was. I commited with you the same mistake everyone does with me: I judged you by what you appear to be. "

" Good, It's mutual." Achilles simply replied. " You are stronger than what I thought you could be. I started to see it in all the stories that your niece has told me about your shenanigans. I like you a lot more thanks to her."

" It's the first time ever when somebody likes me first. In Sparta, you will be addressed as Patroclus's cousin." the boy added, mocking him with pride.

" Seeing you again in my lands would bring me great joy. '' Helen stated." I hope that this shameful experience with Menelaus didn't scare you away."

" Don't worry, queen. " Achilles reassured her. "If you are guilty of anything, is of cherishing so much that he doesn't want to leave your side."

" I have new friends that like me for me. Get over it. " his little cousin kept joking.

" I celebrate it. They are a good influence for you. " Achilles replicated." Today you humiliated a king for the first time and you did it so cleverly that he couldn't find a way to argue. Agamemnon, of all kings. I can't be more proud. "

" He deserved it. He was trying to create spite between you and Ajax. That's low, even for someone like him. '' Patroclus explained.

" Thanks for helping me there. If it wasn't for you, he wouldn't have stopped until offending one using the other." The princess told him." Not so long before he used to say that Ajax was a brute fool from an insignificant kingdom, now he wants to make him the next Hercules. He is desperate, he wants so badly to get rid of your cousin that he is willing to accept any other who would obey him.``

" I feel bad for any contestant in the army aspiring to get the same glorification he has." the boy affirmed. " Achilles has you, that's a great advantage. They will never make it."

The princess laughed softly, glancing at the warrior.

Achilles's gaze followed hers, in complicity.

" You are the queen's favourite, you will run with the same advantage. "

" The bright daughter of the highest commander designs political strategies for you… All the rest are doomed."

" You are so sweet!" the princess thanked him.

" I don't see why not pointing it out. "

" Agamemnon is too foolish to see it, but you think like a politician." Helen told her.

" What's greatly convenient, because having to stand polítical tangles is what Achilles hates the most about his work. " Patroclus insisted.

" Odysseus had helped him with that countless times. " the young lady reminded him.

" He is a king, his polítical work is for his own benefit." Helen remarked. " I know they are good friends, but the goal of Odysseus's work is not to raise him up above all the heroes."

" His competence has no chance because now he has you aligned with him and working with his interests. Honestly? I think that's a bit unfair." Patroclus concluded.

" They must have their own tricks." Achilles defended himself. " I guess she is mine now."

" We shouldn't be discussing this here. " the princess warned them. " Can we bring up something else ? This is a party, we are supposed to talk trivial things. "

" Where did you learn to dance? " Helen asked, pretending to be innocently curious.

" Seriously??"

" It is a trivial topic. " the queen remarked before explaining herself to the recently arrived men. " What you just saw was me attempting to learn some incredible moves I saw her doing. I had no idea, it was a total surprise and I'm very curious."

" The story behind it is not as interesting as you think it is." the princess clarified.

" When she says that, assume the opposite." Achilles mocked her.

" I have been secretly involved in dance practices of the palace's concubines for years. I don't like to show it at parties because it is something I learned for my own gratification and my father is not supposed to find out. " She confessed " Helen looks so happy, she inspired me to relax and I forgot were I was."

" Wait, are you a dancer? That explains a lot of things. " Patroclus commented, impressed. " I wrecked you when we were trying to teach you self defense but I noticed that you have some flexibility. "

" It's nothing compared with what it requires to be a fighter. '' the princess corrected him. " Being more specific, I'm not a dancer because it's not my occupation. I learned from actual dancers and I practice for fun. It's very liberating for me, a great pastime during the absences of my father. "

" How is it that we keep discovering secrets of yours? " Achilles asked.

" You are one of the few who know me as i am. " she tried to explain herself. " I discovered my fascination with dancing right after I started being allowed to stay all the way during parties. I saw a performance and I knew then that I wanted to do that. I wasn't paying attention to the lustful men around the dancers, I loved their movements. Men may see it only as their entertainment, but the dance looks like a celebration of femminity. I wanted that."

" How did you do it?" Helen insisted.

" It took some time. " She started telling. " When Agamemnon saw me following the girls at a gathering because I was trying to learn from them he was scandalized. He forbade it to me, he said that dancers were whores and no daughter of his was going to humiliate him behaving like a whore. He tried to make it up for me by sending me to the temple of Artemis to dance with the priestesses."

" Of course, you had to learn from the virgins. How would you dare to question his expectations? " Helen joked, sarcastically following the line of the reasonament.

" It wasn’t my wish, I did it because he said it. Dancing like a priestess was not what I wanted.” the princess kept explaining “ I went to the temple, behaved well, learned what they wanted to teach me and worshipped the goddess in the ritual dances. The priestesses liked me and my father started bragging about how his girl was so pure that the temple of the virgin goddess wanted her."

" He didn't let them have you because he needs grandchildren if he wants his bloodline to continue. " Patroclus guessed.

" I wouldn't have joined them. I honor the gods and sometimes i pray, but i never felt loved by any of them. I respect the dedication of their priestesses, they find fullfilment in serving them. It's not for me, I never felt the mistic call. " She commented. “I did what I was sent to do, I was respectful and that was the end of it. It didn't erase my original interest for the profane dances as Agamemnon thought it would."

Helen laughed briefly. It was always funny to hear examples of the complete ignorance about the sensibilities of women that the Atrides had.

" I waited until his next absence and I went to learn with the concubines of the palace. " The princess kept explaining. " They are not used to being respected by ladies. When I told them that I admired their dancing and I wanted to learn from them they didn't know what to say. It must have impacted them, because they agreed to instruct me in secret. That's how I learned. I keep joining their practices when I can. It helps me to relieve tension and it is my secret way of self expression."

" You managed to make yourself be equally liked by temple maidens and palace dancers? You are a true politician, even outside of politics." Achilles pointed out.

His comment made her smile.

“ Now that I think about it, It is the first time I see you dancing. I didn’t have the pleasure at the wedding party.” He reminded her.

“ I didn’t dance much that time and, certainly, not as i like to when I’m not being watched.” She replied.” This was an accident, Helen was flirting with one of the musicians and the ambient inspired me to lose control.”

“ I wasn’t flirting, I was dancing to his interpretation.” The queen defended herself.

“ You don’t need excuses with us. If you want me to kill your husband, just make a sign.” Achilles joked.

Helen laughed more than what she should have.

“ She is thinking about it!” Patroclus added, cracking of laughter.

“ It is not worthy to ruin your reputation for it, but thanks for the offer.”

“ It can be an accident in the middle of a battle. We can say that he got in the way of my spear.”

The princess laughed harder then.

“ See? She gets me.” The warrior commented.

“ It’s the same kind of grim joke I would have made.” She explained, still laughing. 

They shared glances, looking deeply into each other’s eyes for an instant. 

“ Do you want to dance with me?” Achilles offered her. “ We couldn’t last time and you are making me curious..” 

She took his hand as a sign of approval, smiling with delight. 

“ You can dance with me, Helen.” Patroclus playfully added, remarking how they seemed to have forgotten of them. 

Helen grabbed his hand and both were laughing, 

They walked following the intensity of the music’s sound with the intention of finding the group of musicians again. When they resumed dancing the princess stopped caring about anything else but her partner. It was reciprocal, because Achilles couldn’t take his eyes off her. Remembering some of the wild thoughts she have had before, she unveiled her sensuality for him within her dancing. Her movements were like a soft tease implying that there was so much more that she could be showing to him if the show would have been private. Her hips, waist and chest were the areas of her body that the moves highlighted. Combined with the graceful gesticulation of her hands and arms, it was a very appealing sight. 

She knew that he wasn't able to touch her more than what would look necessary because of the context and she was using it at her advantage. Still, since he wasn't able to express himself with actions, he did it with words. 

In a particular moment, when he ended up behind her while she was doing torso undulations, he got a chance to grab her hips and whisper close to her ear. 

" You should have done this in Phthia, behind closed gates." 

They were so close that he was able to smell the scent of her hair. 

" It wasn't the right time, but if you invite me back i can take my dancer suit for a private performance." Was her tempting reply. " I have one, you know? My friends helped me to make it." 

" I don't think I would let you go after that." 

She was melting, her heart was throbbing and her head racing with thoughts of him. However, she did her best to keep going as before because she needed to feel sure of being a woman in his eyes.

While his hands were still on her hips, she changed the move and started doing internal hip circles. The sharp motion, first of her right hip and then the left, incited him to pull away one hand at the time, following the rhythm of her every action. The roundness of the hip rotation made her push her butt slightly against him in a movement that looked accidental but didn't feel as such. 

She put some distance between them, enough to spin around and face him again. The song ended shortly afterwards. 

" Sorry, It was the music. I almost forgot that you were there. " She apologised, faking innocence. 

" Some people may be staring ... Don't you care for discretion anymore?" He teased her. 

“ Most people here are drunk. They couldn’t care less, I couldn't care less.” She answered. “ Besides, this was pretty discrete compared to what I can actually do.” 

“ Why are you doing this? ” 

“ Because I want.” She simply admitted. “ You are the only man I ever wanted to dance for, the first one who has me like this.”

 It was a strange confession of feelings. Metaphorically disguised, but it was there. 

Achilles didn’t answer. Not because he didn’t wish to, he couldn’t do that at the moment. First, because of the context surrounding them but mostly, because it wasn’t a good time to be open with her. He didn’t want her to confound his own growing feelings for her with a rush of lust. He cared deeply for her, it started fast and it took him by surprise. He felt good having her in his life, even when it was at moments. After each of their reunions he felt a bit more infatuated. 

Right there, she was making his body crave for hers, but he didn’t want that to be his first response to her affections. He guessed that she was acting so sensually because she wanted to confess herself but didn’t know how. He thought that she must have heard that was the way in which he prefered to be approached, that she had to make herself be wanted for him. He would have lied if he would have denied that he was enjoying it, but he was trying to avoid thinking with his crotch. 

She had given him plenty of subtle signs about her feelings before and he never gave her a direct answer, mostly because he didn't find a good moment for it and part of him felt like he couldn't allow himself to do it. He didn’t want her to assume that he only reacted then because he was horny. 

He was trying to do better for her, but she didn’t understand it like that at first.

 The princess interpreted his silence as rejection. For the sake of her own pride, she pretended not care. She kissed his cheek,smiled at him and went back to Helen’s side. For the rest of the night,she tried to carry on as it never happened. Internally, she felt stupid, but it was the only way she found to overcome it.

She focused again on helping Helen. Acting carelessly, the first thing she did afterwards was to take advantage of a short pause of the music to talk to the man she was sharing glances with as a way to stimulate her to get closer. The princess started by praising his playing and asking his name in front of her and Patroclus. Smiling proudly, he told them to address him as Alexander. The princess didn’t hesitate in starting calling him Alex. He was very respectful, especially of the queen. He expressed his admiration for her in a kind way and didn't attempt anything on her, clearly seeing her as unreachable. Helen seemed to enjoy his harmless attention. In the conversation, they also found out that Patroclus had musical inclinations. Alexander was a percussionist playing Toubeleki and Patroclus made his contribution to the small talk speaking about his experiences learning to play the khitara. Helen was grateful for the care of her friends, both trying to make efforts for her just because they saw her getting along with him. For obvious reasons, the talk was short, but it was a good start. 

They lost sight of Achilles and the princess was secretly relieved for it. She was mortified thinking that her attempt of pursuing him ruined everything between them. Over the course of the party, the three stayed together because they were already comfortable enough with each other.

They got involved in trivial talks with many different people. At one moment, they crossed paths again with Ajax while they were waiting for servants to bring them something to drink. The salaminian hero was doing the same and he greeted their encounter. He was a bit tipsy, but he was good company because he was funnier to be around than what most people assumed. The four fooled around together for a while. They were drinking and joking and the princess almost forgot how bad she was feeling, until he reminded her that she still owed him a dance because he was the first one trying to get her away from the table. He was just joking and It wasn’t his fault, so she tried to keep being sweet to him. Her polite reply explained her refusal linking it to his circumstantial state. Avoiding to sound mean, harsh or sarcastic, she promised him that she was going to dance with him the next time she would find him sober. Fortunately, It made him laugh. 

He resumed their previous conversation in an infinitely less formal way, saying that he was perfectly fine because he was the strongest man in Greece and the effect of a few drinks weren’t an impediment for him. He told them that he could show them on the spot how he was able to lift both women from the ground at the same time and Helen considered the discussion about his state over, fearing that he would actually try it. She felt relatively comfortable with him and it was a grateful surprise. For such an intimidant looking man, he was very nice and likeable. After sharing some more laughs, she ended up dancing with him.

Their brief encounter cheered the princess up a bit, simply because it was very hard not to laugh with the amount of funny insanity that they came up with. Still, she kept feeling out of place, like if nobody really needed her there. Helen was probably waiting until the end so she could have a longer conversation with the percussionist and Patroclus deserved some time to have fun on his own if he wanted that. She couldn’t help to think that she was ruining the party for them . Openly expressing her wish of not being followed, she excused herself saying that she had enough fun, was too tired and prefered to rest. She hugged her friends, thanking them for their company and wishing them goodnight.

In her walk to her bedroom,the princess speeded up her pace to avoid being disturbed. She didn’t want to be approached by anyone else, wishing to forget about her feelings of shame. She almost reached her destination, but the hold of Achilles's strong arms deviated her in an empty hall. 

“I can't deal with this now. " she admitted. " Would you let me go? I will talk to you in the morning"

 " If we wait any longer, we will never do it. " He stated, embracing her waist. 

" What are you talking about??" She complained. 

“ Don’t play the fool now. You can’t try to hide anymore.” 

" I know that I ruined everything. " 

While hearing her, he seemed slightly confused. 

" By now, you must know how I feel for you. '' She explained herself. " I may be good at reading the feelings of others, but I get easily overwhelmed by mines... I have spent my lifetime training myself to suppress them, I don't understand myself sometimes... I wanted you to see me as the woman I am because only then I could make you understand how I feel."

 Her explanation made him chuckle for an instant. 

" What's so funny ??." She tried to pull away from his contact, but he was obviously stronger than her. 

" I see you as a woman, I have always done it. " He replied. 

" I know how you act around the women that you like. It is not how you acted with me. " 

" Do you think that I don't want you?" A light chuckle escaped from his lips again. " You are so lovely." 

" That's it. I'm always the sweet innocent lamb, I can't escape from that. " She complained. " I'm a living, breathing woman with feelings and desires. "

 " I'm aware of that. " He reassured her. " That was a very interesting reminder of it, but I know it." 

" Then why do you keep ignoring me? " Her voice showed frustration. 

" Things between us are not so easy. " 

" You know, before you start thinking about it, I have to say that stepping into helping you was a choice I made based on my convictions. " She clarified. " I believe in you, I didn't do it looking for any retributions. Even if you don't correspond my feelings, that wouldn't change anything. I'm still commited to our pact."

" Calm down." He caressed her hair. " Can you stop assuming that I think the worst of you? I don't." 

" I don't know what else to do to get a concrete answer from you.” She insisted. “I just want that. I don't mind the outcome. If you don't feel the same, I will respect it. " 

Then, he crashed his lips against hers. It was a sweet kiss, intended to serve as a response confessing his affections, but it was charged with the passion of the long craving for it that he also had. She was in such bliss that he felt her body trembling. 

He smiled against her lips. 

" Are you alright?" 

" It’s the longing. " was all she could answer. 

“ You didn't have to do anything else to get me. " He clarified. “ I liked you in Sparta, now i think it’s something more than that.” 

" I haven't stopped thinking about you since the day we met." She confessed. " I didn't know then that it was going to get that far, but here i am." 

.” Odysseus spent half of the way back telling me to stay away from you like a father scaring away a suitor that he dislikes. “ He confessed. “ I did it for a good long while, but you came to me on your own and you dazzled me."

 " He doesn't dislike you, you are his friend. " She clarified " He knows of somebody who hates you and he tries to protect me from him. " 

" I will never allow that old drunk to hurt you. " He said, in what sounded like a promise. 

" Would you steal me from him?" She playfully joked. 

" If it's what I have to do to keep you safe, I would." 

She kissed him, clinging onto him and refusing to pull away until being breathless. In that act, she condensed years of hidden adoration for him and all her hopes. 

Achilles felt it, and he couldn’t help to love her for it. 

“ My room is close. “ She offered. “ It’s safer to continue there.” 

She giggled and headed first. It wasn't wise of them to be seen getting inside there together, so they had to do it in turns.

The princess arrived first, leaving the door unlocked. Her heart was racing with expectancy. The warrior appeared shortly afterwards, closing the door behind them. Immediately after seeing him, she kissed him again. 

" Slow down, lioness." He teased her after she finally pulled away. 

" I wish I could." she joked in reply. 

" This is what I mean when I say that you are adorable, not that I see you as a cute little girl. " He commented." You are so tender, it gets me."

 " Really?" She asked, impressed. 

" I love it. " He answered, honestly. " I also loved what you did for me tonight. " 

" It didn't look like that. " She pointed out. 

" It didn't have to look like that. It was dangerous. " He reminded her. " I like some risk, but you took a pointless one." 

" I wanted you to want me and I think it worked." 

" You need to know that I don't want you because you did that.” He confessed. “ I want you for you and I want all of you, not just this." 

" Then take me." Her proposition sounded like a beg. " I'm ready." She was talking against his lips, holding his hands and pushing them against her body. 

" Not tonight, princess." He was teasing her, his cheeky tone got on her nerves. 

" Why?? " She complained, her frustration almost made her raise the tone of her voice. “ I want to be with you, I don’t care for anything else. Father will end up selling me for power anyways, It will be the buyer’s problem. ” 

" You didn't let me finish." He corrected her. " I'm not going to take you for myself tonight. " He explained as he started to leave a trail of kisses from her jaw in direction to her neck. " But I have many other ways to show you how good you make me feel. " 

She gasped and he smiled against her skin.

 " The massage was amazing. " He added as he kept descending. " And that dance? You are spoiling me, that’s royal treatment." 

" There is nothing I wouldn't do for you." 

He stopped for an instant just so he could look at her in the eye, feel the intensity of her love, and kiss her lips once more.

[capcarolsdanver]

Why Her? (Part 2)

Summary: This fic is based off a request from an anon after some speculations that have been made on my blog. Brie enlists the help of the reader to get a date with a girl that reader knows from class, only for unexpected feelings to be caught. Drama/angst/fluff to come! Pairing: Brie x Reader

A/N: Second instalment of Why Her? is here! Much longer than part 1! As always, I look forward to hearing your feedback, so please let me know what you think about anything. Particularly for this one, this is one of the first times I’ve written text messaging into a story and the way I formatted it didn’t translate well to tumblr. Do you think the story still read smoothly during this part? Thank you and I hope you enjoy!

Please do not repost my writing anywhere without my permission.

PART 1 | PART 3 | PART 4

You stare up at the ceiling from your spot on your bed. Thankfully, after the somewhat eventful morning you had, the rest of your day had been pretty low-key, and a calm day combined with the aspirins Brie had given you had you feeling much more like yourself by the time your last class had been dismissed.

You still feel that deep feeling of exhaustion from a late night of drinking and dealing with the consequential hangover, but at least your brain is back to it’s regular working order, giving you a chance to finally replay the unexpected chat you’d had with a total stranger that morning.

It was a ridiculous request she had asked of you. Absolutely ludicrous, in fact. You still can’t for the life of you figure out why Brie had sought you of all people out to help her, but you also can’t help but feel intrigued about the situation. On top of that, there’s something else you can’t quite comprehend that’s making you feel kind of compelled to help the girl.

You sigh heavily and reach into your jeans pocket, pulling out the small slip of paper you had torn out of your notebook earlier. You only look at it for another second longer before you grab your phone and add the number into your contacts. You type out a new text and hit send before you can even think about it.

"What’s in it for me?”

You drop your phone on the bed next to you, though you might as well have held on to it because it’s only a matter of seconds before your phone pings, signalling a new text. You pick up the phone again and glance at the screen.

"I don’t know, I suppose it depends on who this is and what you’re talking about…”

You mentally facepalm at your mistake, quickly tapping out another text.

“Sorry! It’s Y/N. You talked to me at the library this morning?”

This time you keep hold of your phone, expecting another quick reply.

“Oh, right! I should have known it was you. I don’t have a habit of handing my phone number out to people who I just meet, I swear!”

You smile, tapping out another response.

“Well that is why you need my help, right?”

“Ha ha. Very funny.”

You chuckle slightly, probably the first time all day you’ve even come close to laughing, and before you can reply again the bubbles indicating that Brie is typing another message pop up on your screen.

“So how’s the hangover treating you now?”

“Hangover is all but gone now. Thanks for the aspirin by the way”

“No problem. Let’s count that as just one thing”

Your brow furrows in confusion as you read her text, clearly missing something.

“One thing?”

“One thing that’s in it for you if you help me”

You roll your eyes, but can’t stop yourself from chuckling at her message. You’re startled when barely a second later your phone starts ringing, and you’re quick to sit up from your reclined position on your bed and tap the answer button, pressing your phone to your ear.

“Hello?”

“I figured this would be easier,” Brie says in lieu of a greeting. “Are you busy tomorrow?”

“Um. Why?” You say dumbly. You’re usually much more articulate when you speak to people, but so far you’re yet to show that to Brie.

“Can I buy you breakfast?” You’re silent, considering her offer, and she jumps in quickly again when she must misinterpret your pause as something else. “You know, so we can strategise.”

“Strategise?” you ask with a lilt to your voice. “What is this, some covert mission?”

“Come on, just humour me,” Brie replies. “I’ve never done anything like this before. I figured some planning can’t hurt, right?”

“I guess not…” you say unconvincingly, still entirely too unsure about the whole situation.

“Breakfast will be my treat. Count that as another thing to add to the “what’s in it for you” list.” Brie’s voice takes on a pleading tone and you sigh, running your fingers through your hair.

Despite your better judgement, you’re only silent another beat before you’re accepting her breakfast proposal. “Fine. Breakfast it is.”

————————

You stand outside the entrance of the small diner where you and Brie had agreed to meet for breakfast that morning. You’ve never been her before, though Brie had convinced you to give the place a go, singing her praises for the small diner that she apparently frequented often.

You glance in through the windows to see if you can spot Brie but the glare against the windows from the sun makes it impossible. You let out a quiet sigh and push the door open, stepping into the building.

Surveying the interior of the diner, you’re met with the overwhelming and inviting scent of coffee, something you desperately crave in the mornings. You notice a waitress behind the counter towards the back of the diner, and she smiles and nods towards you in greeting before turning to talk to one of her co-workers near the open doorway to the kitchen.

“Y/N, over here!” you hear and your head snaps to the direction of the voice. Brie is seated at a booth near the corner of the diner and she eagerly waves you over. She grins at you as you approach the table and sit down opposite her.

“Well, someone seems awfully chipper this morning,” you say in greeting. You do try for a light tone, though your words come out as more of a grumble. Mornings were never really your thing. No matter how many morning classes you attend, you never seem to get used to being expected to function so early in the day.

Brie watches you, clearly stifling a laugh, though she doesn’t hide her amusement when you squint your eyes at her in a glare.

“Something funny?”

“No, of course not,” she says, but does little to hide how much she is apparently enjoying your suffering. Not that you’re being dramatic or anything. She looks off in the direction of the counter and captures the attention of the waitress who you had seen when you walked in.

“We better get you some coffee before you do something crazy, like murder me or something.” When your face scrunches up in question at her words she shrugs, her eyes cautiously scanning you. “You kind of have this look that tells me you hate my guts for making you wake up too early to come have breakfast with me.”

“Sorry,” you say, trying to relax your facial features and drop the scowl that is apparently a permanent fixture on your face every day before your first cup of coffee. “I’m not really a morning person.”

Brie breathes out a laugh. “Yeah, I kind of figured that one out on my own. I’ve known you barely 24 hours and both times we’ve spoken face to face I’ve worried you would bite my head off for talking to you so early in the day.”

“Hey, that’s not fair! I was hungover yesterday. Nothing I said or did should go towards your opinion of me as a person.” You notice too late that the waitress, whose name tag says “Dani”, is now standing by your table. Her eyes are filled with just as much amusement as Brie’s and you smile sheepishly at her, realising that she’d caught your small outburst.

“Morning, Brie,” she says, though her eyes remain on you. “I see you’ve got a friend with you today.” You feel your cheeks heat up with embarrassment and you have to consciously stop yourself from shrinking down into the booth.

“I do. Dani, meet Y/N. She desperately needs coffee.” Dani laughs and you shoot a glare at Brie, though she isn’t wrong.

“Coffee coming right up. Any food?”

You realise that in your non-morning person brood, you haven’t taken even a glance at the menu yet, but your empty stomach tells you that you don’t want to dismiss Dani without placing your breakfast order first.

Brie watches your silent dilemma and catches your eye. “The pancakes here are amazing. Especially their blueberry pancakes. They may be my favourite food.”

Your stomach loudly grumbles and your face flushes in embarrassment again. “Well apparently my stomach thinks pancakes sound good,” you mumble when the other two women laugh, though not unkindly, at your stomach’s interruption.

“Okay, so two stacks of blueberry pancakes and two coffees?” Dani asks and Brie nods in confirmation.

“Thanks, Dani,” she says and the waitress smiles and spins around, making her way back to the counter. You don’t even realise your eyes are following her as she saunters away until the sound of a throat being cleared brings your attention back to Brie.

“See something you like?” she teases.

You drop your eyes to the table, annoyed at the amount of embarrassment you’ve already experienced today.

“Hey,” Brie says. You see her hand reach across the table, though it stops short of meeting your own hand and she rests it on the table between the two of you. You look up and you’re surprised by how serious she looks. “I’m just teasing, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you say, acknowledging how sincere her apology seems to be. You drop you gaze again, her eye contact too intense to maintain in the moment. You can practically feel her eyes all over you, carefully looking you over.

“I didn’t know you were into girls,” you hear her say, though it’s so quiet that you have to glance up again to make sure you hadn’t just been hearing things.

“Why would you? We literally only just met.” You shrug with as much nonchalance as you can muster. You don’t generally care when people learn about your sexuality. It’s not something you hide, though it’s also not something you confidently broadcast either. You were always cautious of people’s reactions, and unfortunately during your time in college you have dealt with some bad apples who have given you hell for it. At least the majority seemed to accept it perfectly fine, though.

“I know, but my gaydar is usually pretty on point. I can’t believe I didn’t see it. I mean, look at how you’re dressed.” She gestures at your clothes and you glance down at the patterned button up shirt you had lazily thrown over the top of a white singlet that morning, which is paired with your favourite pair of jeans.

You know the way you dress isn’t typically “feminine”. You’ve had comments from friends, and even strangers, about your not-so-straight fashion sense. In fact, you’re pretty surprised that just yesterday, she was so confident that Sarah is attracted to women that she had approached you to help her get a date with her, despite not even knowing Sarah. Yet she apparently hadn’t even considered that you could also be into women.

Though, to have her scrutinising your outfit of the day while she sits directly in front of you makes you a little uncomfortable and you squirm under the heavy gaze of her eyes on you.

“So, you wanted to make a plan?” you ask, pulling her attention away from you for the moment.

————————

“Here you go.”

You look up from your spot on the uncomfortable couch you find yourself sitting on. Brie holds out the drink she had promised you and you gratefully take it from her.

“Thanks,” you say. Brie drops onto the couch next to you and her disruption threatens to spill your newly acquired drink, but you manage to balance it enough to keep the contents of your cup from spilling over the edges.

You take a sip and Brie watches as your eyes widen and you almost wince when you swallow the liquid. “Wow,” you cough out.

Brie laughs. “I thought you’d probably appreciate a strong drink seeing as I dragged you to a party you didn’t want to come to tonight.”

“Well, you thought right,” you laugh, and feeling brave, you go for another sip of the drink. You can’t help the wince this time. Brie grins widely at you in response and takes a sip of her own drink.

“Any sign of her yet?” Brie asks.

“Not yet.” You shake your head and turn your eyes back to the open doorway that you have been diligently watching since basically the moment you took your spot on the couch.

You had only arrived at the party minutes earlier, and it’s still only early, but the crowd have already significantly grown in size since Brie left you alone to get the two of you your drinks.

You and Brie had planned to come here together after she had somehow found out that Sarah was planning on attending. You had begrudgingly agreed. The last party you attended was a good few days ago now, and this one thankfully won’t be followed by another school day. But you still feel like you have sleep to catch up on, and you certainly aren’t going to be able to do that when you’re being dragged along to more of these parties by Brie.

You turn your head away from the door to look at Brie. You actually take her in for the first time that night. She’s dressed in a pale blue a-line dress that suits her really well and her hair is up in a bun, a few strands loose around her face. She effortlessly looks beautiful.

You personally had opted for a more casual look, knowing that you weren’t coming here to impress anyone tonight. You’re wearing your favourite pair of jeans and a grey shirt. Simple enough to pass as a reasonably acceptable outfit for a college party.

Brie seems more anxious than you’ve ever seen her, although you can tell she’s trying to cover that up with all kinds of fake confidence. She still can’t seem to control the bounce of her knees though, and her eyes scan practically every person that walks passed you.

“How you doing over there?” You ask.

“Hm?” Brie turns to you. She’s nervously biting her lip and you can’t help it when your eyes drop to the action on their own accord. You catch yourself after a second and quickly meet Brie’s eyes again.

You internally scold yourself. Now wasn’t the time to let your mind get any ideas about Brie, especially while you’re at a party with the sole purpose of helping her get with some other girl.

“You seem nervous,” you tell her.

“I do? Shit,” she frowns. “I was going for confident.”

“Wow, you really weren’t lying when you said you struggled with talking to women you were interested in, huh?” You barely stifle a laugh, though you do feel a little guilty when she defensively shoots you a glare.

“Don’t be a dick,” she pouts. “I told you that’s why I need your help.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” you say, hoping she can pick up on the sincerity of your words. “I’ve just never seen you this nervous. I thought you were exaggerating.”

“I wasn’t exaggerating,” she says unnecessarily and huffs out a breath. You can feel her anxiety climbing by the second and her eyes still continue darting around at all the partygoers as they walk by. You realise it’s up to you to try to calm her down.

“Brie, hey,” you say, surprising even yourself with the gentle tone your voice drops to. When she doesn’t look at you, you drop your hand to her bouncing knee, settling it. Her eyes land on the contact before she looks up at you. “Why don’t you have a drink to calm your nerves a bit?”

“Right,” she says when you gesture to the drink in her hands that she’d apparently forgotten about. She lifts the cup to her lips and gulps down almost all of it at once. She winces a little, so you assume she’s made her drink just as strong as yours as well.

“Better?” You ask. She shrugs a little in response.

“I guess we’ll see.” She breathes in deeply, slowly releasing the air from her lungs in an effort to further calm herself down. You can feel her knee begin to bounce again underneath your hand, and you’re immediately reminded that you had never removed it from her leg.

Going against your initial impulse to yank your hand away from her skin, you choose instead to squeeze her knee. It promptly stops moving again and you purposefully avoid making eye contact when you feel her eyes land on you again.

“Let’s just keep talking to keep your mind busy, okay?” You say, and when you see her nod in your peripheral you continue. “So, we’ve talked a few times now but I still have no idea what you do,” you state, though you trail off and pose it almost like a question, prompting her to fill in the gaps.

“I’m an actor,” she says, and you almost give yourself whiplash from how quickly you turn to her in surprise. Her eyes widen at your sudden movement.

“Wait, you’re an actor? Shouldn’t you be able to, like, act confident when you’re talking to someone you’re interested in or something?”

“It doesn’t quite work like that,” she grumbles, finishing what remains of her drink in one more gulp and dropping her cup onto the coffee table in front of you. “Put me in front of a camera and I can pretend to be an entirely different person, but it doesn’t work the same way for me in my own life.”

“I can totally start following you around with a camera if that’ll help,” you joke lightly in an effort to lighten Brie’s mood. You instead receive a glare from her, though you do think you see a hint of a smile on her lips before she faces away from you. That hint of a smile, however, is quickly wiped from her face as you see her eyes lock onto something ahead of her.

“Oh shit,” Brie blurts out. “She’s here.”

Your eyes follow Brie’s line of sight and spot Sarah across the room. She already has a drink in her hand and she’s laughing amidst a group of her friends that you vaguely recognise. You wonder how long she’s been at the party for, and how both you and Brie managed to miss her entrance.

“Are you gonna go talk to her?”

“What?!” Brie asking incredulously, looking at you like you’re crazy for a moment before she looks back at Sarah. “No, we talked about this, remember? You’re supposed to introduce us.”

“Oh, right. Your super vague plan,” you titter, taking a sip of your drink and watching in amusement as Brie expectantly shoots you yet another glare.

“It’s not a super vague plan. It’s a step-by-step,” she stubbornly explains in defence, which makes you laugh more fully.

“A step-by-step? First step; I introduce the two of you,” you bring your hand up to your chin and look up as if deep in thought. “Remind me what the next steps are, again?”

“Shut up,” she sulks, weakly nudging you. “I’ve never done this before. I figured we’d just take it one step at a time.”

“Well that’s definitely the best way to describe whatever this plan is,” you chuckle. “One step at a time.” You finally reach the bottom of your drink and discard the empty cup next to Brie’s.

You take another glance in Sarah’s direction and notice that she’s slightly separated herself from the large group of people she was standing amongst before, talking to a smaller number of them. It leaves a perfect opportunity for you and Brie to approach her. You turn to Brie to tell her, surprised to find her eyes already trained on you.

“What?” you say self consciously, a feeling you’re not typically used to.

She clears her throat slightly and looks down at her hands. “Nothing,” she says, shaking her head a little. Her eyes lift to meet yours again and you struggle to maintain the strange intensity of her gaze. “I just wanted to thank you for doing all of this for me.”

“It’s no problem,” you say dismissively. You feel your cheeks flush for no reason in particular and you squirm a little under her gaze. “Should we go talk to her then?” You nod your head in Sarah’s direction and you feel the heaviness of Brie’s stare leave you.

“Okay,” she nods and you stand from the couch, taking the lead as you start walking towards Sarah. Brie follows closely behind. You’re unsure if it’s because her nerves are returning or because she doesn’t want to risk losing you in the ridiculously thick crowd you now have to manoeuvre through, but she maintains the tight distance between you.

When you finally reach the other side of the room you see Sarah leaning against the wall, drink in hand as she absentmindedly listens to whatever one of her friends is rambling about.

“Hey, Sarah,” you say, although it’s more like a shout over the music. Sarah curiously looks in your direction and spots you, her face lighting up with a grin.

“Y/N! Hi!” She quickly says something to her friends and steps away to join you, greeting you with a friendly hug. The interaction only catches you off guard a little. “I didn’t know you’d be here,” she says when she pulls away from you.

“Yeah, I decided to come last minute,” you explain. “I actually brought a friend with me.” You expectantly turn to Brie, silently urging her to step forward from where she was awkwardly lingering behind you. “This is Brie. Brie, this is Sarah.”

Sarah’s bright smile remains on her face when she regards Brie. “It’s nice to meet you, Brie!” She doesn’t go so far as to hug Brie as she did with you, but she does offer her hand to Brie. Much like you when Brie had offered her hand to you in the library the other day, Brie seems to be a step behind as she looks down at Sarah’s hand for a long moment. Her brain eventually catches up and she rushes to grab Sarah’s hand with her own.

The handshake is awkward at best, but Sarah easily lets the moment pass. “So how do you ladies know each other?”

You and Brie share a quick look and both begin stumbling over your words, but you’re luckily saved from any further embarrassment when a guy from Sarah’s friend group calls her name, pulling her attention away for a second. He gestures for her to join the group again and she nods at him, turning back to you and Brie.

“Well, I hate to cut this short, but I’m being beckoned,” she says with a playful roll of her eyes. “I’ll catch up with you guys later on?” She asks.

“Yeah, for sure,” you say. “See you later.”

“It was nice meeting you,” Brie blurts out. It takes more energy than you’re willing to admit to keep from laughing at her. To Sarah’s credit, she smiles back at Brie kindly.

“You too,” she says, and then she’s turning on her heels to join her friends again.

“Oh my god,” Brie says, facepalming. “I literally only talked to her for less than a minute and I managed to make a fool of myself.”

“It wasn’t that bad,” you try to reason.

“Are you kidding? That was a disaster.”

“It’s okay. One step at a time, right?” Brie reluctantly lowers her hands from her face to look at you. “We just have to figure out the next step now,” you shrug.

“I guess.” She groans, and with one last fleeting look towards Sarah, she faces you again. “Are you ready to go?”

“You don’t want to stay a little longer? Sarah said she would find us later on.” Honestly, you’ve been more than ready to leave the party since you arrived, but you also feel bad for Brie. It’s obvious that she’s internally berating herself and you don’t want her to leave the party early if she wants to try redeeming herself tonight.

“Nah, I think I’ve done enough damage tonight,” she laughs self-deprecatingly. “Come on, I know you don’t want to be here either.”

She walks towards the open door and you have no choice but to follow her, catching up with her once she’s already outside. You walk silently along the empty road together, both deep in thought. The silence of the night is more pronounced now that you aren’t surrounding by blaring music and loud shouting.

Your mind runs wild, going from topic to topic. You vaguely wonder if you’re heading in the direction of your dorm building, and then you’re wondering what time it is. And then finally, your mind lands on something that seems to come out of nowhere.

“Why her?” You suddenly ask, not entirely sure where the question comes from. Though now that the words are out of your mouth, you realise that you are eager to hear her response.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… why her?” You repeat. “I get it, I do. But you barely know her. You only talked to her for the first time tonight.”

The words seemingly slip out of your mouth without your permission, and in the back of your mind you wonder if the drink Brie had made you was even stronger than you first thought. Brie opens her mouth and closes it a few times, her pace slowing slightly before she eventually looks at you again.

“I don’t know,” she shrugs. “I’ve seen her at a couple of these parties now and she just always seems to catch my eye.” She seems to search for more words and she comes to a halt on the side of the road, causing you to stop too.

“Why not her?” She eventually says.

You end up contemplating her question for the rest of the night.

[woodstockbtswriter]

Voyagers

Genre: Fluff/Headcanon

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader (Female)

Summary: A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to join BTS on a Bon Voyage adventure leads to once-in-a-lifetime love.

Warning(s): Some mentions of physical intimacy, but nothing detailed or graphic.

Author’s Note: So... this is it. This is the end. And as promised, it is looooong. You might want to find some snacks and a comfy spot before we get started. I probably could have broken this up into 3 or 4 more parts but, here it is. Please note, my SMAU Sentimental and my drabble Love both fit into this part, and I’ve added links where they should be read.

I can’t believe how far we’ve come! This story is my baby, and I’m so immensely grateful for all the love and support it has received! As relieved as I am to finish it, it is hard to let go, so it’s entirely possible that I may write some bonus chapters in the future. Although, I tried to fit so much into this epilogue, I’m not sure what’s left to say! So anyway, for the last time, please, PLEASE enjoy! 💕

GIF Credit: MONOSUGA

Masterlist

Epilogue

Leaving New Zealand

Yoongi promised he’d take care of everything, and he meant it

You learned that maybe an hour after he snuck out of your room, when one of the producers stopped you as you were lugging your suitcase down the hall

You recognized him as the same producer who’d requested you spend less time with Yoongi, and you worried you were in trouble

But to your astonishment, he apologized for suggesting anything, saying it was never his intention to make things difficult for you and he meant no disrespect

He then informed you that he personally made all the arrangements for you to fly to Korea with the boys instead of returning home

And as he bowed and wished you all the best, you realized Yoongi must have spoken with him

You were touched that he kept his word, and made sure to thank him as soon as you found him out in the main area of the house

All the members and the crew were bustling about the living room and kitchen, hurrying to pack up and clear out

But you dared to give Yoongi a quick, grateful hug, and a blush spread across his cheeks

Hoseok noticed and froze in his tracks, shooting you a look

So you guessed it was as good a time as any to let the other boys know you’d be joining them on their flight home

(Though you’d have to wait until you were all alone to tell them exactly why)

They were all happy and excited, but none more than Hoseok

He scooped you up in his arms and twirled you around, squealing

And when he set you back down, he whispered in your ear that he wanted to hear all the details later

With a laugh, you promised to tell him everything as soon as you got the chance

Not much later, everyone was all loaded up, and you made your way to the airport

Leaving New Zealand was bittersweet

Your week there with the boys had been one of the best of your life

But you were excited to have another whole week with Yoongi

And you were particularly looking forward to more privacy

Though you knew it wouldn’t be much more

The Bangtan boys were constantly in the public eye

And that meant that - even though filming for Bon Voyage was over - you and Yoongi still had to maintain some distance when you weren’t alone

That much was apparent the moment you arrived at the airport in Christchurch

Yoongi had held your hand the whole drive, but released it before exiting the vehicle and didn’t take it again

But you still sat next to each other on the plane, and enjoyed talking and watching movies together during the long flight

And everything about it just felt so comfortable and normal and… right

That is, until you ultimately arrived at the Incheon airport, and the reality of dating an idol became even clearer

Dozens of paparazzi and fans were gathered, obviously aware that BTS was due to return that day

The crowd fluttered to life as soon as your group came around the corner, cameras flashing and girls calling out

And when they caught sight of you with the members, they became even more frantic

But Yoongi subtly kept you close behind him, shielding you from the mob as best he could

And the other boys formed a circle around you until you made it out of the airport and into a waiting car

Then when you were safely behind tinted windows, Yoongi finally took your hand again

And he expressed his regret that you had to endure that scene, seeming worried that you’d have second thoughts

But you reassured him that you could handle the craziness, and promised him that he was worth it to you

He was visibly relieved when you said that

With a smile and a squeeze of your hand, he assured you he would look out for you

And promised that you were worth it to him, too

First Night in Seoul

When you arrived at their luxury apartment in the heart of Seoul, Yoongi and the boys gave you the grand tour first thing

It was a little surreal to actually be there when you’d only ever seen it in videos

But you noticed how much more relaxed the boys seemed the moment they walked in the door, and could tell how happy they were to be home

And you felt instantly at home, too

Which was a good thing, because Yoongi informed you that you would be staying at their apartment with them all week

You would have been more than happy with a hotel room, you told him, your mouth hanging open

You would have even taken a bunk in a hostel, as long as you were close to him

But Yoongi insisted, saying you could stay in his room, and he’d sleep on the couch

Or you could share his bed, he mumbled so only you could hear, if that was what you were most comfortable with

With a suppressed smile, you told him you’d think about it, and you resumed your tour of the apartment feeling unreasonably flushed

After you’d seen the whole apartment, the boys ordered dinner (Jimin’s treat, of course)

And as everyone tucked in, Namjoon raised his glass

He proposed a celebratory toast, to a successful Bon Voyage, to returning home, to you - their new friend

And to Yoongi-hyung falling in love

The other members cheered enthusiastically in agreement, tapping their glasses together

Which caused you to grin, and Yoongi to groan

Namjoon, Hoseok, Taehyung, and Jungkook wasted no time recounting their version of events, filling Jin and Jimin in on anything they might have missed

And you happily supplied any further details they lacked, like the fact that you and Yoongi were now officially together

All the boys teased Yoongi mercilessly for being so soft

And Yoongi was a grumbling, blushing mess all the while

But you could feel the love behind their mocking

And they made sure you knew - despite their joking - how truly happy they all were for both of you

By the time dinner was over, everyone was exhausted and ready to call it a night

You hadn’t given a lot of thought to the sleeping arrangements since Yoongi first mentioned them

But as he made up his bed for you with clean sheets and extra pillows, you knew you didn’t want to sleep in his room without him

And when you asked him to stay, Yoongi needed no convincing

He quickly slipped beneath the covers with you, hugging you tightly against his body and pressing kisses to the back of your neck and into your hair

And that was how you spent the whole night, curled up together, sleeping blissfully

And though you’d be lying if you said the idea of doing something other than sleeping never crossed your mind…

Just being able to spend the night together without any fear of being caught in the morning was enough

For the time being, anway

Boyfriend/Girlfriend

Your extra week with Yoongi in Korea, like your week in New Zealand, was one you’d never forget

The boys had full schedules, consisting of everything from rehearsals to filming to recording to appearances, but Yoongi continued to keep his promise

He arranged for you to accompany them to everything, so you were able to spend a lot of time all together

And you naturally continued to grow closer and closer to all of the boys

Especially Hoseok

He remained your biggest ally and most trusted confidant, and you quickly became best friends

Those hours of downtime in dressing rooms were some of the most fun of your week

They were also some of the longest, as you spent many of them waiting on the boys to fulfil their responsibilities

But their staff members were very accommodating - having been instructed to respect and protect you - and you even made friends with a few of the the stylists

When the guys didn’t have obligations, Yoongi spent every waking (and non-waking) moment with you

On the second day of your stay, Yoongi gave you a private tour of Genius Lab

At first, he seemed shy and self-conscious about showing you such an important part of his life

But when he sat in front of his computer, Yoongi casually pulled you down to sit with him, reaching his arms around you and resting his chin on your shoulder as he played you a couple of beats

And next thing you knew you were turned around on his lap, exchanging heated kisses as Yoongi leaned back in his office chair

Eventually, you forced yourselves to leave the studio

But not before Yoongi gave you the passcode, and told you to feel free to use it anytime

Which you did, every chance you got

You loved to see him in his element, and were content to just sit and listen to him work for hours

You’d thumb through his Ikea catalogs while you listened, nodding along to his beats

And you often brought him coffee or lunch, to keep his energy up

On the third day, you found time to play some one-on-one basketball

Which Yoongi let you win

And you let him think he let you win

You also cooked dinner together a few nights

Stole a nap together more than once

Binge-watched The Lord of the Rings together

And spent every night secure in each other’s arms

Yoongi may have been worried he couldn’t be the kind of boyfriend you wanted

But he was

He absolutely was

Completely unlike his cold, unfeeling, disinterested, tough-guy persona, he was nothing but soft and caring with you

Just as you’d always known he would be

And the first time he referred to you as his girlfriend - on the fourth day, when he told Jin to stop bothering you with his dad jokes - it made your heart skip a beat

You still had to be mindful in public and around cameras, but it wasn’t as bad as you thought, and it got easier every day

In fact, Yoongi found it remarkable how well - and how quickly - you were able to adapt to his chaotic life

Last Night in Seoul

Before you knew it, it was your final night in Korea

As you as laid together in Yoongi’s bed - after having shared your last meal with all the members - your head and heart were both fit to burst

You couldn’t bear the thought of saying goodbye to Yoongi in the morning

Especially without telling him you loved him

And when Yoongi kissed you slowly and deeply...

After his eyes caressed your face as he told you how breathtakingly beautiful you are…

You were overcome by the desire to show him - physically - how much you loved him

Your hands fumbled to grasp his shirt, and pull it up over his head

But Yoongi stopped you as soon as he realized your intent

“Not like this,” He said

Not rushed

Not urgent

Not desperate

As much as he wanted you - and he wanted you very much - he didn’t want to take this step just because you were leaving the next day and felt like you were out of time

He wanted to wait until the moment was right

When he could take his time with you, and treat you the way you deserved to be treated

You couldn’t help but be disappointed by his response

But deep down you appreciated how much he respected you, and you knew he was right

So you only stayed up talking that night

And as hard as it was, you refrained from ever blurting out, “I love you”

Because you wanted to wait for the right moment, too

“Home” At Last

Leaving Korea the next morning was one of the hardest things you ever had to do

But you managed to save your tears until after you hugged all the boys, kissed Yoongi, and climbed into the car that would take you to the airport

Before you left, Yoongi bought a return ticket for you to visit again the next month

And you promised each other to keep in constant contact until then

But as the driver pulled away from the boys’ apartment complex and you waved to each other until you were out of sight…

You felt like you were leaving half of yourself behind

Sentimental 

When you were finally home, it seemed as though you had been gone much longer than 2 weeks

And, if you were honest, it didn’t really feel like home anymore

You tried to return to your normal routine, to immerse yourself in your work that you loved

But now that you knew what it was like to have Yoongi in your life, normal life felt…

Empty without him

You kept in touch and communicated through texts and calls everyday

Any spare minute Yoongi could find in his hectic schedule, he would video chat with you

He always made time for you, and always made an effort to be open and vulnerable with you

And though he rarely said it in so many words, you could tell he missed you just as much as you missed him

Hearing Yoongi’s deep voice and seeing his handsome face always put you at ease

But no call was ever long enough

And after one particularly brief conversation, you idly began researching how to apply for a visa

You also hated not saying “I love you” every time you said goodbye

But you didn’t want the first time you told Yoongi to be over the phone

So you made up your mind that the next time you saw him, you would tell him no matter what 

Firsts

Finally, after what felt like a never-ending month, you found yourself back in Yoongi’s studio

And in his arms - where you’d been longing to be - as he played a new song for you

It was softer and more melodic than his usual style

He sang along to the music, his voice smooth and low, and you quickly realized…

It was a love song

And when the last notes faded out, he admitted that he wrote it for you

With tears brimming in your eyes, you couldn’t contain yourself any longer

Your words spilling out of you, you told Yoongi you loved the song

And you loved him

So, so much

Yoongi wiped your tears with a soft smirk

That’s what he was going to say

You stole the words right out of his mouth, he teased you

You chuckled, apologizing, but Yoongi shook his head

And as he kissed you tenderly, he said he loved you

So, so much

He’d been falling for you all along, he told you, but when you left last month…

He immediately noticed how empty his studio, his bed, his life, and his heart, felt without you

And that was when he realized he was completely in love with you

It was impossible to describe how you felt hearing Yoongi speak those 3 little words

Finally being able to say those 3 little words to him felt almost as good

And you looked forward to saying - and hearing - them often from then on out

For the rest of the day, Yoongi could hardly keep his hands off of you

And later that night, he did more than say “I love you”

Though he did say it, over and over

But he also showed you how much he loved you

Physically, for the first time

And contrary to most fanfiction you’d come across, Yoongi was not rough

In reality, he was gentle and sweet and soft and caring and loving and patient and giving and...

Perfect

Everything about that night was perfect

And more than worth the wait

Yoongi marveled at and worshiped every inch of you

He made you feel so loved

And beautiful 

And good

More than once

You didn’t take a single moment of the experience for granted

You were mindful to appreciate every detail, to admire everything about Yoongi

And you made sure he felt just as loved - and as good - as you did

That visit was a turning point for your relationship

Yoongi had made it clear - in more ways than one - that any fear he may have felt about falling in love was long gone

And when you returned home, your mind was made up

So you secretly began applying for a work visa in earnest

Because seeing the man you loved so infrequently was only getting harder and harder to bear

Bon Voyage On Air

The next time you visited Yoongi was another month later

And your season of Bon Voyage premiered that same week

So with plenty of snacks and drinks, you gathered in the dorm living room with all the boys and watched the first episode together

Seeing the footage of your incredible journey brought back so many feelings and memories, and it was so fun to reminisce with everyone

But you noticed the editors made suggestive comments every time you and Yoongi were on screen together

Nothing obvious, just subtle little remarks about how cute you were around each other and how fond you seemed to be of one another

You hoped it wouldn’t be enough to make viewers suspect anything about the true nature of your relationship

But the other members noticed, and it was enough for them to tease you and Yoongi

A few weeks later, after several episodes of Bon Voyage had aired, it came to your attention that ARMY had picked up on the chemistry between you and Yoongi

Speculation as to whether you were dating was all over the internet

A lot of fans eagerly shipped you together

As Yoongi had predicted, they found you very likeable, and it was easy to see how well you got along

But there were also plenty of “fans” who had some not very nice things to say about you

Yoongi comforted you when you saw some of the negative comments, and begged you to not worry about any of it

He assured you that things would blow over

And if they didn’t…

Well, you’d deal with that when the time came

The Holiday Season

The next month, BTS had several appearances scheduled in the U.S., so Yoongi arranged for you to meet up with them

One event was a Christmas concert, and you agreed to exchange gifts afterwards because you wouldn't be able to be together Christmas day

You gave Yoongi an authentic chef’s coat with his name embroidered, and a certificate for a couples cooking class

Both of which he moaned and grumbled about

But you knew by the way his eyes twinkled that he was touched, and that he secretly loved his gift

Yoongi gave you a gorgeous, one-of-a-kind light fixture he’d commissioned from a local artist in Seoul

And when you opened the box, you found yourself doing something you never imagined you would do:

Crying over a lamp

Yoongi looked scared when he saw the tears running down your cheeks

But when you managed to articulate that they were happy tears and you loved your present, he grinned and you pulled him into a crushing hug

The week between Christmas and New Year’s, you received word that your work visa had finally been approved

BTS was going to perform in Times Square on New Year’s Eve, so you planned tell Yoongi the good news then

You had to wait behind the scenes while he and the boys were onstage during the countdown

But Yoongi kissed you the moment they returned to the dressing room

And when you told him that you were moving to Korea, he was so stunned he didn’t know what to say

The other members reacted so enthusiastically to your announcement - jumping, dancing, and shouting - that you wouldn’t have heard Yoongi speak anyway

But you could see the tears gathering in his eyes, and they - along with his gummy smile - told you everything he couldn’t say

Moving to South Korea

Over the next month, you happily packed up your entire life and moved to Seoul

Though you didn’t have an apartment lined up yet, you did manage to find an amazing job opportunity with a local interior design company

But all of the guys urged you to not to wait any longer, because they’d be releasing their new album soon and would be busier than ever

They were only too happy to let you stay with them until you found your own place

You didn’t want to take advantage of their hospitality but, once again, Yoongi promised he’d take care of everything

It was only when you were standing inside an empty but beautiful, luxury apartment in an upscale neighborhood not far from the dorms, that you realized how he intended to keep his promise

Yoongi explained that even though all 7 boys chose to still live together, several of them actually owned their own homes

They kept them mostly as investments, but they occasionally came in handy

Like now, when you needed a place to live

The apartment you were in was Yoongi’s private suite

And he wanted you to have it

You tried to decline, saying he was being way too generous and you couldn’t accept

But he insisted

He wanted you close by, he wanted you to be somewhere safe

And he liked the idea of sharing his home with you

But if it would make you feel better, he smirked, he could always charge you rent

You were still hesitant

But then he showed you around the place, pointing out his favorite architectural details, telling you about his plans for its design, and asking you for your professional opinion...

And he was just so cute and eager you couldn’t refuse

So you moved in right away, and you and Yoongi thoroughly enjoyed working together to pick all the paint colors, the furniture, the decorations, and - especially - the light fixtures

As always, you were a great team

Your Christmas present was the perfect final, finishing touch to your new home

And though Yoongi maintained his main residence with the other members…

He probably spent more time at your place than at the dorms 

Isolated Together

The next few months were hectic, for you and the boys

You were adjusting to living and working in a new city, and they were gone a lot to promote their new album (which you loved)

But you were so proud of them, and remained their biggest fan, always cheering them on and supporting them

And Yoongi never failed to make time for you

Whether it was by sharing a cup of coffee, a meal, or the couch while you watched a show

Yoongi always took the time to remind you how much he loved you

So you never once regretted your decision to move to Korea

Then a global pandemic turned life upside down

All the members were deeply disappointed when they had to cancel their world tour, and you were heartbroken for them

You knew better than most how hard they’d been preparing for it

But they stayed positive, and took advantage of the unexpected extra time, relaxing and trying new hobbies while in isolation

You were able to work remotely during that time, and stayed at the dorms with Yoongi and the boys

And you cherished the opportunity to be together even more often

You spent a lot of time in Yoongi’s studio as he put the finishing touches on his mixtape

But you also enjoyed several leisure activities together

Like painting

And playing video games (You dominated Mario Kart, but he was the surprising champion of Just Dance)

You even convinced Yoongi to sew a few throw pillows with you for your couch

Then as the release date for Yoongi’s mixtape approached, you accompanied him to the set of the music video for his first single

And your jaw dropped when you saw him in his costume

He looked amazing

Amazingly hot

Because he’d dyed his hair black a few days prior and you missed his light-colored locks, seeing Yoongi in a long blonde wig was particularly…

Exciting

And you may have bribed the costume department to let him keep the outfit

Your relationship progressed a lot in those months, and you grew to understand and respect each other on a deeper level

Though some couples naturally got on each other’s nerves the more time they spent together, the opposite was true for you and Yoongi

Sure, you disagreed occasionally, but you never fought

Yoongi was infinitely patient with you, and often told you that you had calming effect on him

Your personalities were just so compatible, and things only got easier and better the longer you were together 

And as it became increasingly apparent how well both of you - together, as a couple - worked…

It became harder and harder to imagine your lives without one another 

The Secret’s Out

After Yoongi’s mixtape was released and saw much success, you were ridiculously proud of him

You blasted his songs every chance you got, and constantly showered him with praise

But with so much media attention focused on Yoongi, ARMY once again started getting suspicious about your relationship

Rumors about you moving to Korea had been circulating for a while

And despite taking extra care to stay off camera whenever one of the boys went live, it somehow got out that you were in quarantine with them

What’s more, it wasn’t hard for ARMY to notice how happy Yoongi had been

Eventually, it got to the point where management felt like they needed to be involved

The higher ups at Big Hit wanted to deny everything, and were sure they could convince the public that you were just a friend - to all the members

But after some long talks and careful consideration, you and Yoongi decided that you didn’t want to deny or hide anything anymore

You knew how you felt about each other, and you knew it wasn’t going to change

You were in each other’s lives for good

So the company released a statement confirming your relationship, saying you’d been together since Bon Voyage wrapped

And the internet exploded

A K-Pop idol publicly dating someone was highly unprecedented

But to your relief, the majority of ARMYs were supportive

And they advocated that if Yoongi was happy, everyone should be happy for him

Of course there were still others who felt you didn’t deserve him, or that Yoongi should leave the group

But together you were able to disregard any hate, and just enjoy being with each other openly

A little while later, after the initial shock of your relationship announcement had worn off, the Bon Voyage producers contacted you

Due to the ongoing pandemic, they’d made some adjustments to the show’s format

They’d decided to film in an isolated location in Korea instead of traveling outside the country, and they changed the name to In the Soop

And since you and Yoongi were public now, and because your inclusion in the previous season had been such a success…

They invited you to join BTS for another adventure

Love

Previous

Taglist: @bucky-thorin-winchester​ @yvemoon​ @serpentiinequeen​ @neilpoetssociety​ @narcissism-iskey​ @kaitswrld

[dragonrajafanfiction]

Dragon Song

The 3E exam was Toyama’s most difficult day. Afterwards, he always had to do a difficult counseling and comfort session with all the students about their visions. And for some who didn’t make the cut, his sessions would include brainwashing and memory wiping to make them forget everything about Cassell so they could go home and continue their lives, ignorant of everything they experienced here. 

He made his way back to his office and sat behind the desk.

He sighed and cleaned his glasses while he waited. No one ever knew what was going on in there. Only those who were monitoring with the cameras namely EVA. Whatever happened, the medical team was ready to take care of it.

But he felt the muscles in his neck were tense and his heart was beating faster than normal. His analytical brain told him he was worried about Tigre. Even though he told himself it was pointless to worry about him, that his fate was with the College now, he couldn’t stop.

So he spoke to himself in casual calm language. “I think its time to admit, that your care for that boy has gone beyond what is professional.” He slid the glasses onto his nose. 

“You could barely leave him there properly without tears coming right? That’s why you left so abruptly. Right now the test is starting and his dragonblood is waking up. He might attack the students inside once he realizes what he is. And then he has no future. You tried. You did all you could. But it’s possible he was doomed from the start.”

“But the heart will do what it will do. Heh... you’re not immune, Toyoma-kun.” He chuckled to himself. “But you cannot drink. Your students will need you now more than ever. You can go drink later.”

The phone, a traditional rotary, rang loudly in the silence. He picked up. “Toyama speaking.”

The raspy inhale told him who was speaking. Schneider’s voice came over the earpiece, “I can patch you into the feed. I would like you to watch.”

“Watch the boy turn into a monster? I don’t think so...”

“That’s not what’s happening. I’ll send the link to your cell.”

Toyama’s cellphone let up and he cradled the landline against his ear while he clicked the link provided.

The video feed showed the classroom. 

Normally the 3 E was absolute mayhem as each of the students’ minds were lost in the sound, like listening to a favorite song, the mind wandered and the body followed and they were compelled to write down their visionary inscriptions on the paper or on whatever other surface they could find. But what Toyama saw made his jaw drop in shock.

Tigre was singing.

He wasn’t just singing, he was singing with a smile of rapturous joy, tears pouring down his face. He wasn’t writing down his answers, he was singing them, speaking each dragon word in turn. As the dragon verses shifted, he would listen briefly and his eyes closed and he would hold in hands to his chest, his face beaming with joy before belting out a full throated perfect rendition of that Yanling.

Toyama felt his eyes burn and quickly blinked away tears for a moment. Relief washed over him like a flood and his smile started to echo Tigre’s. He felt proud that Tigre was succeeding. He wasn’t just performing well on the test, but he wasn't being violent. Quite the opposite. He was joyous, happier than Toyama had ever seen him.

But then in the next moment Toyama’s blood ran cold.

Dragon language wasn’t just words. They were commands. They could impose a rule upon an area to control the elements. They could command a forest to burn. They could command a storm, a drought, a flood, an earthquake, or lightning. Some abilities were so strong, they would destroy the user. If it wasn’t for the restriction placed on the use of this sacred speech by the College’s alchemical array, Tigre would have joyfully sang out and destroyed the entire college and possibly all of Chicago.

“Dear... God...” Toyama whispered. “Is he a Dragon King?”

“No. If he was, we would have erased him and shoved his body in the Ice Cellar. But he is a hybrid of Dragon King level resonance. He’s different from the other hybrids in other ways too. We’ve run other tests. Nothing about this man is natural... and yet everything is.”

“Is this why you have brought him here? Why you were interested?”

“I’m afraid that’s all I can tell you. We’re still studying. In the meantime, you should probably go out to meet him. He doesn’t have anyone else to talk to.”

Schneider hung up the phone. Toyama was brought back to reality. Yes he did feel fond of Tigre... but he was still a doctor and Tigre was his patient. He would have to carefully maintain his mind so he didn’t go berserk and bring ruin to the college. He stood up and made his way back to the library. When he came back outside, the thunderstorm had intensified. Lightning cut across the sky and thunder roared, as thought the sky itself were cracking apart. The trees swayed heavy in the wind.

----

When Tigre came out of his trance, his throat hurt, his jaw hurt and his face was sticky with tears. He was shaking and exhausted. He wasn’t at his desk any more but standing in the middle of the room. He wanted to see Toyama and tell him that he wasn’t mad at him for leaving him alone. So when he found him waiting outside, he ran up to him and hugged him, babbling uncontrollably all sorts of silly things while Toyama told him to get some rest while stroking his hair. 

He suddenly realized after that that other students were filing out. All the other students looked exhausted and limp. He turned to them with a joyous face, but they all just flinched away from him, looking at him with tear streaked faces. Even Porsche, who seemed vibrant and sassy before, hugged her two sisters while crying uncontrollably. Celeste glared at him accusingly and Tigre flinched away. 

“Don’t mind them. Most people don’t experience joy like yours.” Toyama pulled him away from the other students. “I will have to go help them with their feelings.”

Tigre was confused. Why would anyone be sad about what he’d just heard? “Toyama-san, I saw something amazing. You knew right? You knew what I was!”

“I had no idea exactly what you were.” Toyama said patiently. “No one did. Your vision is one that’s personal to you, something deep in your heart.”

Tigre reached up and touched his chest. “But... I don’t have anything there.”

“Maybe that’s...” Toyama wanted to say ‘for the best’ but he didn’t finish his sentence. “I have to go. You’re a student now, so you’re free to roam about as you like. Stay out of trouble. Okay?”

“Okay...” Tigre said meekly and watched Toyama walk towards the three sisters. Only Celeste wasn’t crying, she only looked extremely angry.

No one was happy, except for him.

He walked out to stare at the pouring rain in the entrance. He looked up at the sky that also seemed to be sad. But why? Those voices in his head were still ringing. He could recite every single word. But he whispered them, staying quiet. He continued to whisper those sacred words into the grey. They were still beautiful in his ears.

“Do you not have an umbrella?” 

His dampened mood rose again! “Chu Zihang!”

Without thinking he hugged the flinching man who just tolerated it. 

Tigre released him quickly. “Oh... I’m sorry.”

“It’s normal to be emotional after this. I’m happy you made it. The results will take a few hours to process, but Schneider sent me to congratulate you. He’s my mentor.” Chu Zihang’s eyes were dark and not the yellow he remembered.

“You wear contacts too.” Tigre realized.

“Yes. Toyama explained?” Chu Zihang raised his umbrella. It was large enough for both of them as they walked. He was calm like a granite stone. Tigre was a raw nerve of emotion.

“Yes. I remembered looking into your eyes and feeling something through them like what I heard today. No wonder I recognized you! You  really are my brother! But for the other students, they were very sad. I don’t... understand why...” He looked back at the Library that was shrouded in the rain.

“You’d have to ask them personally. I can’t speak for them. When my dragonblood awoke, I saw a very disturbing image myself. And then something tragic happened. So that memory is sad for me too.”

“Is that why its raining?” Tigre mumbled.

Zihang tilted his head. “I don’t think emotions can effect the weather. Though many people associate rain with sadness. In truth a tropical wave has been pushed up from the gulf by the jet stream.”

“Oh.” Was all Tigre should say, understanding nothing.

“You’re still shaken up. Let me get you something to eat. You’ll be hungry.” 

"Ah! You’re right! My stomach is growling a lot!” Tigre said in shock.

“You must have resonated very strongly. You were just standing there in the entrance to the library staring into space and now you didn’t realize you were hungry...”

“It was wonderful.” He breathed. “I wish I could listen to it again. I’ll listen to it forever.”

Chu Zihang glanced down at him and didn’t comment.

“Have you been out of the hospital long? Why didn’t you visit me?” Tigre bounced along deliberately splashing in the puddles.

“I was recovering still and then after that, Schneider kept me updated on your progress. I couldn’t visit you because visits were not permitted while you adjusted to life outside of prison.”

“Oh... we’re going to your dorm?” He asked recognizing the residential building. 

“Yes. I want to introduce you to a few of my friends. One of them, Lu Mingfei is also looking forward to seeing you.”

“Oh Okay... neat.”

Chu Zihang opened the door to the dorm and there were many people there! It was like a party! When he saw all these people. He was moved to tears again! He covered his eyes with his arm. “Sorry!”

One of them, a dark haired Chinese boy chuckled. “Don’t worry. Everyone cried at my 3E. You’re fine.”

Chu Zihang introduced him. “This is Lu Mingfei. He’s the president of the Student Union...”

“Kinda sorta... really I just kinda hang out here while other people do things for me.” He said bashfully.

A tall muscular blond grinned. “I’m Finger Von Frings.”

“And I’m Susie. Congratulations. Sounds like you passed.” She was a petite Chinese girl, making her the third Chinese in the group.

“I’m Zero. Pleasure.” Said a soft spoken blond girl with a Russian accent, who looked bored to be there.

“This is for you.” Chu Zihang handed him a small box covered in paper and a ribbon, like one of those Christmas gifts he’d seen in pictures.

“Thank you... can I open it?”

“If you want.” Chu Zihang mumbled.

Tigre pulled the ribbon and then opened the box after carefully shredding the paper. Inside was a brand new tablet computer. “It will be useful for studying.”

“Wow... thank you!” He laughed. Then he paused. “What is it?”

[utterlyhopeful-fics]

Love on the Line - Part 2

I hope y’all are ready for the heartache because this chapter absolutely destroyed me. Please read the warnings because this chapter does deal with quite a few heavy issues along with ripping your heart to shreds. Let me know if you’d be interested in another part? Thank you all for the read! Part 1 HERE

Masterlist

Henry Cavill x Reader

Word Count: 2360

Warnings: heartbreak, break-up, language, mention of self harm, pure unadulterated angst 

******************

Today was a day where she just wanted solace though the impending doom of forethought clouded her every sense. She wanted to blink and will the world around her to magically disappear enjoying her descent into darkness. Y/N sought to feel anything at all but alas she felt wholly empty. It was slowly but surely killing her, picking her apart piece by fucking piece. She hadn’t had the chance to speak with him, hear his once soothing voice on the other end of the phone. Just nonchalant texts messages brimmed with no meaningful purpose. But is that what she wanted the entire time? Possibly so. 

That’s what made her friends poke into her business, snoop until they found an answer worthy of their liking. Y/N knew how to play their games and say whatever it took to make them stop their line of questioning. It was her equivalent of mourning the future she mapped out. Her phone chimed alerting Y/N of its annoying presence. ‘Catching a connecting flight out of LAX to meet with Danny and, finally heading home baby! ETA tomorrow late afternoon.’

Great, there was no stopping his arrival now that he was officially coming home.

She had so many grand plans in her dreams, promises of a life she now questioned if she ever wanted at all. The blade felt cool against her skin, she begged for the sweet release for the air latched in her lungs to be set free, but no such luck today. Old habits die hard. Blood dribbled onto the marble sink as relief flooded her system, endorphins pumping as her vision momentarily darkened. For a second, all was calm and she relished in the fleeting feeling. Y/N finally released the breath scratching at her lungs. She was anxious and just wanted to sleep away the day while morph into her sheets.

Curiously, she didn’t remember when she became exhausted. She didn’t remember when exhausted was no longer exhausted, and it just was. The tiredness seeped in her bones and she accepted this state of being with utter apathy. Y/N frowned down at the piece of jewelry that once sparked joy, reminiscing on the night Henry proposed. Now the ring on her finger was beginning to weigh too much for her to fathom. So, Y/N did what was best and sadly slide the diamond off her ring finger and back into its elegant box.

~The Next Day~

             Y/N paced their chic living room floor awaiting his and Kal’s arrival. Mentally prepping herself over the strong points to hit in their conversation trying to build her courage and morale. This would be easier if I wasn’t in love with him. Just then, she heard the sound of the garage door open and an engine decease. It was now or never. Realistically, Y/N knew she couldn’t keep a straight face for very long but at the same moment so ached for his touch, for his gentle kiss, and for one more unscathed instance. She inhaled deeply and soothed her nerves to the best of her ability. The front door opened, the pitter patter of paws hit the ground first, greeting her with overwhelming enthusiasm. Y/N kneeled to Kal’s level letting the dog lick her cheek powerless to the loyal Akita before her.

“Darling, where you are?” His voice echoed through the foyer in search of Y/N as he found her with Kal. He rushed towards her, wrapping his arms in a warm embrace and brought her close. He buried himself in the column of her neck kissing a trail of the gentle kisses and inhaled. Everything about this woman lit his insides of fire and now she was tangible, a reality he was more than happy to clasp on to. Hands finding his tamed locks, Y/N intertwined her fingers pulling him in leaving no space between their bodies. Stay strong. Stay focused Y/N.

“Is it even possible to miss one’s smell?”

“You’re home.”

Y/N stepped out of his warmth missing the fleeting scowl etched on Henry’s face.

“Can I get you anything to drink; Scotch possibly? I’m dying for a drink.”

Henry couldn’t put his finger on it but something didn’t feel right. As she reached the wet bar, he took in her appearance. She had lost weight; her bones were noticeable now. She turned his direction with glasses in hand. Her cheekbones were too pronounced, she quite frankly looked …fragile?

“Here you go, babe. Welcome home.”

His hand clasped over hers holding her stare before retrieving the glass.

The liquor deliciously burned down her throat. He refused to bite his tongue any longer; “Y/N, is something the matter?”

She ogled the bronzed liquid in her glass before clearing her throat; “Yes.” Henry’s eyebrows raised in concern reaching out to her as Y/N took a step out of reach.

He barely heard her before a whimper left her; “Please don’t touch me, Hen.”

Bewilderment override his body leaving his brain in the dust.

“Love, what’s wro—” Before he could finish, his phone beeped notifying him of an incoming message. He reached in his back pocket wanting to silence the damned thing before reading who it was from.

‘Anya: Make it home safe? I’m lying in bed alone and can’t help but think of your taste. See you soon?’

Y/N watched in disbelief at his attention pulled elsewhere. So much so that she didn’t comprehend the glass shattering onto the tile floor and blood sliding down her wrist. She clenched her fist in blinded anger reminding herself of the pain as the shard dug deeper into her flesh.

“I’m standing right in front of you. I always have and yet you refuse to even acknowledge me. I can’t even maintain your attention god forbid you put your phone down for five minutes. How do you think that feels when the one person you’re in love with can’t even give you the time of day?”

He drank in her disheveled appearance, her blotted checks streaked with tear stains, her messy hair from constantly running her fingers through, and lastly, the hurt that lay just behind her blue irises. He’d never hated himself more than in this moment. Ever so gently he leaned closer into her frame craving her closeness but she remained a step further. She ducked away in disgust swatting his hand from reaching her face. Henry attempted to cover up the shock from overtaking his chiseled features. He’d never seen her so on fire in their entirety as a couple.

“I said don’t fucking touch me. You sicken me. Is that what you wanted to hear, huh? Do you think it’s fun being invisible to the one person I thought had my back?” She refused to hold back her emotions anymore allowing the storm to overflow.

“YN... please let me...”

“What? Let you explain? What possible bullshit are you about to spew in hopes of changing my mind?”

“I love you. Don’t ever underestimate my feelings for you.” 

Sighing, she inhaled a much-needed breath of air before composing herself, at least to the best of her abilities; “Henry. Stop. Please, I’m begging you. My chest feels as if it’s been pried open and my heart ripped from my body. My blood boils through my veins yet is tinged with ice. You’re breaking me into a million little pieces. You must see what you’re doing to me.”

Melancholy dripped from her voice as he silently berated himself, shaking his head in defeat. His eyes glazed over slightly in an attempt to find his own composure, to quill the manic pounding residing in his chest. If he were being honest, it had been quite some time since he last looked at Y/N. Genuinely looked at her. No facetime, no phone calls. And she was right, she was ripping at the seams. How had he not noticed? The chilled atmosphere left the pair suffocating, grasping onto their last truth of reality as quietness laid between them. 

“You pride yourself on your so-called honesty. So, now’s your time! ...are the rumors true?”

Henry’s eyes immediately averted to the cement ground below wishing to buy himself another second of borrowed time. But with no such luck, he let out a shaky breath he hadn’t realize had been lodged in his lungs. 

“Yes. But I didn’t sleep with her.” 

YN bit her lip to keep a wail from slipping out making her insides inflate with sadness. She knew it was all too good to be true. Her stomach churned at the mere mention of her name.

She sniffled trying to look anywhere but at the handsome god displayed in front of her but to no avail met his calm blue eyes awaiting hers. 

“Okay.”

“Okay? That’s all you have to say?” 

Y/N’s fight was fast depleting and she wasn’t sure how long her energy would remain before perching upon empty. If she was being honest, all she wanted to do was bury her head into his warm chest willing his past mistakes away and reuniting them with their life...the life they built together. But that was no longer an option she could look forward to any longer. He made damn sure of that before returning home from filming. And worse, TMZ had the pictures to rub salt in her fresh wounds. 

Her silence was killing him increasing his anxiety foolproof. 

“Please Y/N say something, anything! I deserve your wrath and anger. A shout would be better than nothing.”

But to his surprise, she remained frozen unable to show what was running through her mind. 

“There’s nothing left to say. You made a choice and with that said choice allowed for the entirety of our relationship to simply vanish. I deserve wholesome and unconditional love, not some half-ass attempt. It must’ve been so lonely in Budapest for you that you just had to fuck somebody else. I totally get it.” Her sarcastic tone finally freeing her most inner thoughts.  

“I didn’t have sex with her! Woman, listen to the words I’m saying.”

“Don’t you dare patronize me. Look me in the fucking eyes Henry William Dalgliesh Cavill and tell me what happened.”

“A silly mistake. We had just wrapped and headed out to a local pub down the way. It had this amazing terrace and all I could think is about how much you would’ve enjoyed the view, the architecture of the city. Drinks led to shots and before I knew it, someone pushed me into a bathroom stall. I remember hearing the lock click, Anya tugging at my belt, and not having the restraint to push her away. I closed my eyes and pictured you, I swear it. God woman, I missed you. It wasn’t until I came that I realized it wasn’t you.”

“Did you ever even maybe think about how I get being hundreds of miles away from you? That maybe I was just as lonely. But guess what? I didn’t go to a bar and stick my tongue down anyone’s throat. Jesus, Henry, I’m not even sure I even crossed your mind. Do tell me though; are you apologizing because you got caught or because you feel bad?”

His question left her stunned. This wasn’t how he saw this scenario playing out in his head. Y/N glanced down at the beautiful ring residing on her delicate finger. The one she had forced herself to put on that morning. The diamond ring she once so blindly admired now felt like a ton of bricks forcing her stomach to stir with resentment. 

“Filming was chaotic and I just slipped. A fucking lapse in judgement. I’m an asshole Y/N but you must know how much I regret causing you any amount of pain. 

“Temptation is an impossible beast to tame. But worry no more for you are a free man now.” 

“That isn’t what I want.”

She smirked at him before letting out a loud huff; “Sometimes we don’t always get what we want. In this case, we’re both losers.” 

Henry shook his head in disagreement unable to process her words before she spoke again; “Perhaps, somewhere, someday, at a less miserable time, we may see each other again.”

“Don’t say that my love. Please give me another chance. We can work through this; I know deep in my bones there is no one else for me in this life.”

“To what Henry? To make a fool out of me once more? To show the world your power of forgiveness?”

“Be rational Y/N. I asked you to fucking marry me for god’s sake. I want you as my wife, to be by my side!”

Her throat dried at his words of admittance. It was still her dream too. When she closed her eyes YN pictured him in a wonderfully fitted tux waiting for her but now he had trampled her trust.

“I, I want to be the last person who ever kisses you… Please, hear me out. I know that sounds weird, like some sort of death threat.” Henry continued to stumble in attempt to find the words his brain was spewing; “This is it for me, darling.”

His words sunk into her encapsulating her very presence. It was everything and more she had craved to hear. But now his pretty words were tinged with guilt and cheapness leaving a bitter taste on her tongue.

“You’re not in love with me, not really, you just love the way I made you feel. And you’ve definitely proved that others can make you feel the same just as easily. Stop playing the victim. You did a shit thing and it kinda makes you a shit person now. The sooner you accept that the easier it will be to comes to terms with your new reality. The one without me in it.”

Before Henry fully processed her words, he suddenly felt an object being placed into his right palm. Her slender fingers atop his before throwing him a pitiful frown. Slowly prying his hand open, the glimmer of the engagement ring laid desolate as blood bombarded his eardrums. After all, how often do we get a second chance?

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