#and most of the stuff that comes to mind is stuff i don't feel all that bitter about so it's kinda more funny than anything atm
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felicitas and her general
summary: general acacius has caught your attention after being the first mortal to worship you in decades. you only face one challenge: don't get too attached.
warnings: rated g, contains spoilers for gladiator ii, follows the timeline of the movie somewhat, reader is the goddess felicitas (who is the goddess of good luck,) this fic is basically just an add on to the movie.
tags: goddess!reader x general acacius, emotional infidelity, lots of roman mythology stuff, writer is basing all her knowledge out of what she remembers from PJO and HoO, worship, complicated feelings, marcus does not cheat on lucilla physically, yearning, pining, grieving, guilt, major character death(s), stalking (kind of), a lot of obsession/dedication, angst, hurt no comfort but also hurt with comfort.
a/n: i watched gladiator ii and then was too emotionally devastated to finish this fic the way i planned. i really hope you all like this!! also, this fic is also dedicated to my dear friend @pascalssbabyy because she is my biggest cheerleader and i love her <33
wc: 7.2k (not beta read)
It was he who woke you.
A quiet sacrifice in the evening that felt like the freshest breath of air you could have, more intense than what you could have atop any mountain, near any spring. The scent of burning meat and smokey vegetables grasped at your lungs, and you almost choked on it. How long had it been since someone had offered you something so kind? Real food, not just scraps of something they didnât wish for.Â
Youâd never complain about how difficult it is to be a minor Goddess, you know that you could be a mortal, but most donât think of how Gods can fade. Itâs a physical process, one where youâd notice how your fingertips passed through things like chalices and bowls, how a spoon slid through your hand once. The clatter of gold on the table was embarrassing, even though you were alone. Nothing about being forgotten, or fading, physically hurt. It was only mentally taxing, knowing that you werenât as important as you once were, that mortals found you insignificant.
Generals used to come and offer things frequently sometime ago, but you couldnât even begin to understand how long ago that was. When youâre immortal, or supposed to be, mortal lives seem fleeting. You had taken them for granted, and regret it now, for all you have now are the empty clouds above your temple.Â
The last offering you can gather was from a young boy, who wanted to win a board game against his sister the next day. He had given you half a bun with strips of meat. Sure, it was thoughtful, but this was something rich.Â
You finish inhaling the offering, and then hear the offerer's voice. But itâs muffled, and you want to see who it is anyways, so you swipe through the clouds and create a window to see. Then you can hear him clearly.
Someone who is clearly a general kneels at your altar, which is chipped and dirty. The ashes of the food are in front of him, smoking still, and you can taste the wealth in his meal. It canât distract you from him though, he is striking.
Broad shoulders support a heavy, curly, grey, head of hair, which is bowed in honor of you. His body is widely built, sturdy for battle, and his voice is just as powerful. Youâre so focused on hearing his voice you only catch the tail end of his request.
â... Allow me to come home safely, if not for Rome, then for my wife.â
Your heart squeezes, and you swear you can feel the ichor gushing through your veins. Scarcely when a General came to give you an offering all those years ago would he mention a wife, only ever wishing for luck in the upcoming battle or war. But here, now, youâve been given a respectful request and offering. It isnât a thought in your mind to not favor him now, your eyes closing and your mouth murmuring a blessing to him. It feels intoxicating to use some of your power again, especially on someone who asked for it. It also feels intoxicating to watch this General leave.
He looks around before he goes, seeming to note how degraded your small temple has become. The statue of you that lies ahead of your altar is yellowing, and ironically, multiple fingers have broken off. The General seems displeased by this, sighing as he exits the temple.
His gait is heavy, sandaled steps weighted as he walks down them and into the torch-lit night. You find yourself looking for him even after heâs disappeared from your sight, the warmth of gratefulness hugging around you. Part of you knows better than to play around with the thought, but still you wish to know more about him.
â
It worsens when he comes back. A few times a week he returns, offering rich foods. Itâs been a month now, and you are coming back to life.
Fading didnât feel like anything, but coming back feels like so much more. The first few offerings had your body feeling alight again, like the ichor in you was flowing again, but within the last two weeks youâve gotten your fingertips back. They were tingling for a day and then the next you were able to properly grasp things again, nothing was slipping through you.
In that time you had also learned his name. A guard had come looking for him one night, and stood behind him whilst he prayed. You had found yourself smiling when he didnât interrupt himself, instead acting aggravated once he had finished. The guard had apologized for interrupting and let him know that âYour wife wishes to speak to you, General Acacius.â
Acacius.Â
You still donât know his first name, but it is enough. You can think of it when you feel lonely, when you are bored. Something to associate with the offerings, with the blessings. The fact he has been so consistent hints at a desperation, which would usually repel you from blessing him, but he is the only one who seems to recognize you. His efforts are not going to go unseen by you, not when you have so little to do.
You can feel yourself conceding to your need to know him more, but just as you begin to fight yourself again, he shows up.
Tonight heâs dressed a little nicer. Usually he arrives in a plain tunic but this one has golden trim on it, and his hair is a little more tousled. He stumbles into your altar holding something in a cloth, but heâs walking like heâs�� drunk?Â
Acacius meanders to your altar, grabbing a torch along the way, and then empties the contents of the cloth. It produces a small dessert bun, a Libum, or honey cheesecake, and your mouth waters. So much of the food that is given to you is savory meats, masculine foods that are heavy on the senses, but this is sweet and delicate. You can, of course, eat whatever youâd like. Youâre a Goddess, and though you arenât major, you are still very fortunate.
But this feels thoughtful.
The General drops to his knees after lighting the bun ablaze, swaying slightly, and now you know he must be drunk.
âGoddess Felicitas,â he begins as normal, âI am sorry I am later than usual. Though I donât know if Goddesses sleep. I was⌠caught up in other affairs, but I made it in time.â
He is less eloquent than usual and seems particularly focused on how it is nearly past midnight.
âI brought you this though,â he gestures to the half burnt bun. âI wanted to bring you something different than meat and⌠things. I thought a dessert would be fitting for that task.â
Acacius pauses now. His thoughts are probably muddled from whatever he drank, and you find yourself smiling. Foolery has never been so endearing to you.
âYou have been listening to me, I suppose. My requests for luck in battle have been answered, as well as my safety being ensured. Your blessings have brought my wife peace of mind, something I could not previously afford to her.â
He looks so small in your temple tonight. Normally he is not so vulnerable, but his shoulders sag as he mentions his wife. Some sort of shame runs over him at the idea that he could not ease his wifeâs worries, but it makes you feel better that you could help.Â
âGoddess Felicitas, I come here tonight bearing no requests, just gratitude. Your blessings have soothed wounds I could not see, and I feel like a young soldier again. You invigor me.âÂ
Then, he leaves.Â
You watch helplessly as he stumbles back down the steps and away from your temple, and more than ever you wish to chase him. The love he has for his wife is clear, and you hold no jealousy of that, but you wish it were you. Something in you is deeply attached to this General now. He has awoken you so much more than rekindling your power as a goddess, more than releasing you from the grief that comes with fading. Yes, Acacius has made your heart beat again, your mind curious again, and you feel seen. Being worshipped is not the same as being loved, if that were true youâd have had many children by now,Â
But after so long being forgotten, this feels like what you remember being loved as.
â
You try not to interact with the other Gods for the most part. They tend to meddle in things they donât need to, and are sensitive. You are not exempt from this stereotype, but thatâs only more reason for the distance.Â
But today, you venture to meet another deity.
Morpheus is not hard to find. He is pretty stationery where he is, usually lounging on a rock or bench near his temple, or above it in the clouds. He is a bitâŚdramatic, from what you remember, but wise.Â
Today he is stretched out on a cloud above his temple, eyes shut. His pale skin stretches taut on his bones as his lean frame breathes deeply. But, he is not asleep.Â
âMorpheus,â you speak.Â
His body rolls toward your direction, eyes still shut, but a small smile on his face.
âO young goddess Felicitas, what brings you to me?â He questions.
Itâs hard not to feel embarrassed. Youâve spoken to Morpheus on very rare occasions, but heâs always been somewhat helpful, though nosy. Dreams tell a lot about people, and when heâs the one giving them to people, itâs hard to hide anything at all.
You donât want him to know of your true affection for General Acacius, just that he is⌠worthy of a visit.Â
And so you begin to describe it to Morpheus, your need to visit Acacius. He doesnât open his eyes at all, but he raises his eyebrows a lot and seems bemused at your situation. Youâre only halfway through your rambling before he raises a gangly limb and waves at your words.
âFelicitas, you think you are the only Goddess wishing to visit her admirer? You need no explanation,â he says jovially.Â
Morpheus reaches into the air and pulls 6 black berries into existence, then drops them into your open palm.
âWhen you know he is asleep, bite down on one of these and think of him,â he describes to you.
The berries smell like nothing, but a powdery residue is left on your skin as you roll them in your palm. It doesnât repel you at all.
Tonight, you will visit him and express the same gratitude he did to you.Â
â
Marcus lays next to his wife, Lucilla, with her hand in his. She fell asleep sometime ago, leaving him to lie awake by himself.
He didnât make it to her temple tonight and the guilt is festering in his body. Marcus knows that she is a Goddess, that he probably isnât a thought in her mind. He knows that he is just another whiney mortal, giving her food that isnât nearly as good as whatever Gods eat. His insignificance grows as he feeds into his guilt.Â
Stress has permeated his life for much of it, from his time as a young soldier up until now, as a General. Battles, politics, and his family, have created a breeding ground for him to be wracked with anxieties, but he stays strong. Thanks to his time in Felicitas temple, itâs been better.
Which is why failing to make it to her temple tonight is making him feel so bad.
He grabs at the linen sheets of his bed, stressing and trying to reassure himself until he falls asleep finally.
â
Being in a dream is weird. It feels much the same as it does when you disguise yourself as a mortal, the out of body experience is semi-familiar, but itâs weird because someone else is there.
Youâve been watching the General enjoy the lake in front of him for a few minutes now. He hasnât slipped into it, but just walks along the waterline. It seems like he is looking for something. Surely his dreams usually contain more action, or perhaps are memories, so you assume it may be strangely understimulating for him.
The appearance youâve chosen is one of modesty, but elegance. A seafoam green peplos hangs off your frame delicately, with golden clasps at the wrists and waist. You did your hair so it would be tucked out of your face. There is no guarantee that Acacius will recognize you like this, but you look much like your statue thatâs within your temple.
Swallowing your nerves, you shimmer yourself into visibility. The grassy field is odd beneath your feet, and you walk toward him with uncertainty in each step. Youâve never met with a mortal before, and you havenât stepped on anything earthy in a long while. His broad stature only becomes more daunting as you get closer, especially since he seems so focused.
You will have to speak first. Youâre much too quiet in this environment, and you must act fast lest he wake before you get his attention.
âGeneral Acacius,â you speak firmly, though your hands shake.Â
This is so unfamiliar to you. Youâve barely even seen his face, as heâs usually bowed at your altar. It is the first time youâll see him at an equal level, the first time youâll have brought yourself to him rather than him to you.Â
He turns quickly, an instinctual aggressiveness toward the unknown. You stand about 10 feet from him, eyes widening.
Acacius is striking. His nose is what you focus on first, strong in shape and line, but behind it are his eyes which look to you with wide acknowledgement. His hair curls around his head in greying ringlets, like a permanent laurel crowning him. The wide expanse of his back was once impressive, but now you can see the solid wall which he becomes when facing you. Nothing could push him over it seems, a man built to stand.
Your heart squeezes the way it did the first time he gave you a request, a tender rush tingling your whole body. No words come out of either of your mouths, and the General drops to one knee instantly.Â
He recognizes you.
âGoddess Felicitas,â he rushes out in a breath. His chest is heaving as he bows his head and no, no this isnât how you want this.
Your feet are moving before you can focus on your anxiety, bringing you so close to him that you can kneel too. Maybe a goddess should not kneel before a mortal general, but you are just on your knees rather than putting yourself below him. Your peplos billows a little as air rushes through it when you hit the grass.
He is above you like this, and you tilt your head to see his face again. His strong brow is furrowed, eyes squeezed shut like he is afraid of you.Â
âAcacius,â you say softly, âI am not here for⌠for ill reason. Please relax yourself.â
You lean back as he relaxes, head tipping upwards as he kneels in front of you as well. Now you can meet his eyes, see the crinkles that are beside them, and really take him in.
An energy of anxiety is shared wordlessly, with him stiff from the sight of a literal goddess, and you with the fear of⌠something.Â
The identity of your anxieties isnât something that you can figure out. Maybe itâs too much to see such a handsome mortal, or maybe itâs that youâre going to thank him for his offerings so personally. Maybe itâs humiliation from this act. What would other Gods think of this? Is it not degrading to become so attached to a mortal? Are you no better than Zeus or Hermes, the gods who interact too intimately with mortals?Â
The sound of his labored breathing alerts you, calls your attention back to the present moment.Â
âI wanted to thank you,â you admit meekly, âfor your offerings. You have been very generous and⌠devoted.â
His eyes are shifty, and you can see the terror in him still. You donât want him to fear you, but you can understand why. Visits from Gods or other deities can mean trouble, but you arenât significant like that.
âGeneral Acacius you are the first mortal who has acknowledged me in a long time,â you offer a vulnerability, perhaps trying to soothe him.
It feels so backwards for you to be kneeling in front of him, speaking. He has done so in front of your altar for many weeks now, but now the spots are switched, yet you are still in power. You avert your gaze as you speak up, wanting to request something of him.
âYouâve been so generous to me, General, I was hoping to know more about you.â
And now, rather than scared, he seems suspicious.Â
âTo know me?â He clarifies.Â
You nod.
âI only know your last name. I think I could offer more luck and splendor if we were more⌠personal.âÂ
Gods that felt awful to say. Youâre no better than the whorish brutes on their thrones, offering petty glories for intimacy. Everything feels flirtatious but thatâs not what youâre looking for. Acacius has a wife he clearly loves, you would never want to interrupt that.Â
He seems to hesitate, but he knows he cannot refuse you. So far your blessings have brought ease to his life, he wouldnât want to lose that.
âThen⌠yes, I suppose I can offer myself if it would please you.â He responds stoically.Â
And it does please you, to know his name. Marcus Acacius, the one who woke you, the one who has saved you from being a fragmented memory within the temples.Â
Marcus Acacius, who you are too fond of.
â
You visit him 3 more times. In an attempt to space out the usage of the berries Morpheus gave you, you only visit him once a week. The bleak tasting berries are sour on your tongue, a rotten sour which lingers once you wake up, but itâs worth it.
The two of you have grown closer, with Marcus opening up more. He tells you about the stresses in his life, how much anxiety is buried in him. But, heâs confident for the sake of his wife. Youâve learned that her name is Lucilla, and much more about her. Marcus talks about her a lot, in passing or retelling something she told him. In the small amount of time youâve gotten to know him, youâve gotten to know her as well.
It burns you with a strange warmth, a desire and envy which makes your stomach growl. You are hungry for him to admire you in the same way, to speak of you, but doesnât he already? Shame grips your throat when you think of it. You are a Goddess who he sacrifices to, who he wishes to have blessings from. What more do you need? A mortal couldn't offer you what another deity could.Â
After the fourth meeting, you found yourself lonely. Lazing back in the clouds above your temple, you woke with a deep hunger. Marcus is beautiful, an admirable man, and he loves passionately. You are already being such a glutton for even speaking with him, meeting with him repeatedly, so why must you yearn for him too?Â
Worship isnât enough, you want what you will never let yourself to have.
Nothing hints that he might feel similarly. His starry gaze which lands on you is not due to your beauty, your personality, or anything more. You have blessed him, and that is why his eyes glitter. Goddess status has never made you feel so low and isolated. Still, you are happy to help him achieve what he wishes, even as it cripples your heart.
Tonight you plan on visiting him. That fourth visit was a week and a half ago, he may be wondering where you are. He still comes to your altar each night, but the prayers are less personal. Marcus saves his stories and ramblings for when the two of you are in the field, or near the lake, when the two of you are really alone.
â
You bite into the berry at around midnight. Its tangy yet death-tasting juice floods your mouth, clinging to the crevices between your teeth and staining your gums. Closing your eyes, you think of Marcus, and his curls, and his eyes, and his nose, and his strong hands.
And then you are there, and he is waiting.Â
It seems like his subconsciousness has picked to be at the lake today, and heâs sat in the sand at the edge of the water. You walk over to him, but notice how⌠down he appears to be.
âShe is not happy with me,â Marcus confesses before you even sit down.
You stand a few feet back from him, looking at how his curls fall around his bowed head.
âLucilla?â You ask softly.
He nods.
A wicked feeling begins to steep in your heart. She is upset with him, he is in need of you for something more than a blessing.Â
And so you listen.Â
Itâs one of the longer meetings the two of you have had. Marcus doesnât cry, but he seems truly upset. Heâs been called to go off somewhere far again, to fight and kill. Reassurances that you will protect him as best you can only soothe him so much.Â
He doesn't care if he dies, he cares that his beloved is distraught over this.Â
The more the two of you talk, the closer you get. There are marks on the sand from where you originally sat, but now you kneel in front of him, with creased brows and worried eyes. This isnât something you can fix, you arenât familiar with love and its intricacies.Â
His knees were tucked closer to his chest before, but theyâve loosened now and his fists rest atop them, clenching. Frustration sits on his face like a mask, one you wish to take off him.
Touching is not⌠something either of you partake in. Sometimes your shoulders will brush when you sit together, but nothing more has ever been initiated.Â
That is why it doesnât surprise you when he flinches as your hand reaches out to rest on top of his right clenched fist.Â
âMarcus,â you say softly, wanting to offer comfort, but he cuts you off.
âDonât,â he replies swiftly.
At first it hurts, watching as he waves off your hand from his own, but then you look at his face rather than where your hands were joined. The frustrated look on his face is gone, replaced with something worse, something guilty. His eyes arenât glittering at you like usual, nor are they hardened with anger.
Theyâre soft pools of conflict that mirror your own.
It doesnât soothe your burn, satiate your envy. You can see in his eyes that maybe you arenât alone in these feelings of admiration, of want, but maybe this is not what you want.
Maybe you want a different universe, one where he doesnât have to be a mortal and you, a Goddess. So you wouldnât have to worry about him dying, and have this friendship survive off death flavored berries. Maybe you want a universe where he isnât married, where he could be yours and you wouldnât feel like a spectator to his heart.
Maybe you want that, but you wonât get it.
Instead the flames of jealousy die in your chest and are replaced with tumors of guilt. Your whole body feels bloated, embarrassed, and ugly.Â
The pair of you stare at each other, a stupid realization between the both of you as you realize that your secrets have been spilled, even though itâs the same one.
His eyes donât move from yours, so you move from his.
The sandy edge of the lake does not look so bright now, even though there are no clouds in Marcusâs dream.Â
âWhen do you leave?â You ask softly.Â
You will not follow him into whatever battle heâll win. Donât embarrass yourself, Goddess.
He tells you two weeks. You say youâll see him before then.
Then you wake on a cloud again, with a cavity of guilt in your chest.
â
Marcus wakes alone.Â
Lucilla had not wanted to sleep with him that night, choosing to stay elsewhere. She didnât tell him where, she left in a quiet flurry of tears and anguish.
Itâs easier for him to feel guilt over his Goddess than it is to hurt his beloved, even if it is the same.
In a moment of frustration he grasps at the sheets, turning over and biting at his pillow. The bed is so cold, and the room smells like stale air even though the window is open, the night breezy.Â
He knows she is beautiful because she is a Goddess. All Goddesses are beautiful, ethereal beings that mortals cannot even comprehend at times. Marcus knows he is lucky to even perceive her, for her to have chosen to visit him.
Yet through all her blessings, he feels cursed.
A plague of emotional infidelity is crawling through his body, sticking to his bones and making him stiff. Everything he does has felt flat for so long, from pretending he is grateful to the Emperors, to now pretending nothing is wrong in his marriage. Heâs scared, and exhausted.
Marcus rubs a hand over his face after rolling over and sitting up in bed, groaning into his palm.Â
At first he tried to blame her for it. What would a Goddess want from a successful General other than a demigod hero son? What could truly be so special about him? He assumed she was manipulating him, using some sort of power to morph his heart, but now he knows it is not true.
If she had wanted to, she would have had him by now, and he knows this. If she had wanted to, her hand would have stayed where it was tonight, and pushed him further. It isnât unlike the Gods to force themselves on a mortal, but she didnât.
Instead, his hand feels hot where hers rested, and his mind is spinning.Â
Marcus doesnât fall asleep again, afraid that heâll see her.Â
â
You wait for a full two weeks before you visit him again. He had been coming to your temple less, and you had assumed he was busy with preparations for the coming battle.Â
The stubbornness you felt that night has not left you. At first you did not leave your temple in fear that you would grow attached, now you remain there because you have grown attached.Â
âEnough is enough,â you had thought to yourself.Â
But it is hard not to miss him, and his soothing prayers. The way his offerings tasted of smoke and sweet, and how heâd always burn such a large portion. Marcus never gave you scraps, he seemed to refuse to.Â
However, you can only distance yourself so far.Â
It is quiet when you approach him. He is sitting in the field this time, the lake a distant glitter in your eyes. He does not face you, but his head isnât bowed like before.
âMarcus,â you greet, your voice muted.
He raises his head, turning over his shoulder and nodding, as if to direct you to come closer, and so you do.
Tonightâs visit isnât vulnerable, or even pleasant. Marcus seems so distant as he dryly tells you about how heâs preparing, and his wishes to return safely. His eyes barely meet your own as he talks, and he continuously twists the ring on his finger.
It grows tiring, watching him ramble about politics you could care less about, listening to him say things that have nothing to do with him. Heâs so far from the friend you thought you had made. When the air between you goes quiet, you donât fill it for a while. You listen to the sound of the wind in the grass as his eyes still will not meet yours. Itâs breaking you apart.
This is the last night youâre able to visit him, unless you visit Morpheus again. You will not waste it like this.
âWhat is ailing you, General?â You ask, deciding to prod more than you usually do.
To your surprise, he scoffs in light laughter.
âYou,â he responds quietly.
His words donât hurt, at least not yet. You have the option to walk away now, wake yourself and leave him with his final blessings, but of course you donât.
âMe?â You ask, âwhat have I done?â
Marcus rolls his shoulders back, lifting his head to look into the everblue sky above the both of you.
âYou have made my life difficult, Goddess.â
Difficult? You have made his life difficult?
You have half a mind to tear him to pieces, curse him with something awful like snakes for toes, or spoons for teeth. After all that youâve done for him, all the safety youâve provided, he is telling you that you make things difficult? How dare he? Be outraged, Goddess, for he disrespects the holy luck which you bestowed to him.
Thatâs what you should think, thatâs how most of you should feel.
But instead you feel small, and hurt. Yes, he is disrespecting all that youâve given, but also you feel like a failure. Your physical existence is because of him, because he did not let you fade. All you wanted to do was make his life easier, help him to have an eased mind and a safer life.
But instead, heâs telling you youâre difficult.
It feels like your body is shrinking in the white peplos youâve worn, the sheer fabrics swallowing you. Shame is flooding in the form of tears behind your eyes, wetting your orbs with an unexpected outburst of emotion.
âI am sorry,â you manage weakly.
Marcus does not look at you while you cry, and you want to believe it is because he cares too much to watch, but you cannot verify that.
The wind picks up again, but it does nothing to hide the soft cries you canât hold back. Once you were a fading Goddess, now you are just a failing one.
There is no luck involved with love.
Eventually he speaks again, with his head turned away from you.
âI am sorry too,â he says. Thereâs a finality in his tone that makes you ache.
So much is said in such little words. He is sorry to you, for you, and with you. A sorrow is shared between the two of you, knowing that your hearts ache for one another as they are worlds apart yet on earth together.Â
This last berry was only supposed to mark the end of your visits, not the end of everything. It feels like this is all there is for the two of you, since itâs too complicated to continue on like this.
Thatâs why he doesnât move away when you move closer and rest your head on his shoulder as tears leak down your cheeks, or at least thatâs what youâll believe.Â
â
Time moves weirdly when youâre immortal, but it all happens so quickly.
Marcus stopped coming to offer things for you, and so you were blessing him less. Admittedly you had kept an eye on him, but not a keen one. It didnât feel right, not when you and him werenât⌠friends anymore.
But this feels too soon, too fast, too unfamiliar. Has your sadness caused you to be blind?
You watch as a man kneels in front of Marcus, panting and bloody with a sword beside him on the ground.
The only reason you are here was because you had felt the roar of a crowd all the way at your own temple, a wide distance away. It had drawn you in, and instead you had found this.
That roaring which you had heard crescendos to a new height around you as you shimmer into existence, cloaking yourself to the mortal eyes in the stands of the coliseum, but existing enough to touch him.
Arrows stick out of his front, more crushed beneath his back, as he is slumped on the white, gravel, ground. His hair is curled with tacky blood streaking through it, and he is so, so, still.
You drag your hand across his forehead, feeling the remaining heat, and in the echo of the crowd you begin to sob.Â
Everything around you is moving, changing, fighting, and screaming, but you sit invisible in the center of the coliseum, running your hands over the now dead General Acacius. There is nothing you can do to bring him back, to ease Lucilla, to save him and apologize. He is dead beneath your fingers, with arrows lodged deep in his irreparable, mortal, flesh.Â
You were supposed to keep him safe.
Hot tears run down your cheeks as you keep grasping at his armor, unable to move him or yourself. The last visit felt official, but this feels final. There is nothing more for you here, no friendship in a corpse.
Thoughts are running through your mind at the rate that your breath is puffing from your chest. The question of where he will end up in the afterlife is overwhelming you, and the chance for him to go to Elysium feels reasonable. Itâs where he should be, where he deserves to go, especially after all he had done for Rome. You donât even care why heâs here, or why he seems to have been brutally killed, but after the time you spent with him, Elysium seems right for him.
â
Itâs where he should be. Elysium is where he should be.
And itâs where you find him.
His place there is somewhat similar to his and Lucillaâs home back in the mortal world, with lush greenery and airy drapes that flutter in various colours. It seems like he has left space for Lucilla here too, with space left in the chests for her things, and a permanently made half of the bed.
Elysium offers a true celebration of life for heroes, demigodly or not, and youâre sure Marcus has been enjoying that. Anything that he had been shackled to in his mortal life was gone now, and it seems that all he would have to miss is his wife.Â
Most of your time is spent there, in his afterlife home. You peer from behind curtains when he comes back, hidden in drapes and keeping yourself small.Â
He is already dead, but after the last time you abandoned him, you cannot bear to leave him alone again.
The vision of him, bloodied and murdered on the coliseum floor, flickers into your mind every time you see him lying in his bed. Itâs an obsession to be near him, to be looking after him. Pluto might not even know youâre down here anymore, but what does it matter?
Marcus Acacius was the last living mortal to worship you. In the underworld, you are beginning to fade. Your fingers are slipping from you again, which is making it easier to lurk near him, but it is a painful process.
You want to speak to him. No longer do you yearn for his love, not after being in his home and seeing how dedicated his heart truly is to Lucilla, but you yearn to speak to him again. A panicked emotion runs through you at the thought of fading alone, of being entirely forgotten.Â
It didnât matter before he died, fading was just something bound to happen, but now itâs more. Is he forgetting you?
â
Youâve lost most of your arms by the time you work up the courage to speak up. Lucilla arrived sometime ago, joining Marcus in the afterlife. Watching them together brought some warmth to you, some kind of happiness that you couldnât have for yourself, but seeing it for him was enough.
You sit on the terrace of their home, invisible to their eyes, and somewhat to your own. From the tips of your fingers to just below your elbows, you are a specter. Grey shadow fills where your limbs used to be, and they pass through all objects. You couldnât tap his shoulder if you tried.
Oftentimes you sit, hidden, and ponder by yourself about more than Marcus. There were so many things you were adamant about when he was alive, and you regret it all now. Your determination to avoid your feelings, or at least not show them, and your need to not become attached⌠it bites at you now, a stinging, grieving, venom, that wonât leave. Your status as a Goddess blinded you to how tender that friendship could have been, and now you sit as a ghost spectator to his afterlife, obsessed with a mortal as a fading immortal.Â
The tips of your fingers pass through the glass you try to grab as you think of this on the terrace. Youâre glad that youâre such a minor deity, so at least you do not have to feel so humiliated about fading. A smile has just graced your face as you feel blessed for being so unimportant you can essentially stalk this mortal, when suddenly his voice cuts through the humid air of the space.
âFelicitas?â Marcusâ voice asks.
Itâs so hesitant that you think youâre imagining it. You thought you had their home to yourself right now, thinking they had gone to do⌠whatever souls do in Elysium, but when you turn your face, he is there.
Marcus has not worn fancy clothing in a long while now, and right now is no different. He stands before you in a plain looking tunic, which just graces his knees. To see him at ease has been so nice, but he looks distressed at your sudden appearance.
You cannot find your voice as you awkwardly stand up, trying to think quickly. There is no good way to explain what youâre doing here, hidden away in him and his wifeâs home. You could just vanish into thin air, but that feels wrong. He has seen you already, any attempts at pretending you arenât here would be ridiculous.
His eyes scroll from your face down to your arms, and the smoking shadows that used to be there. Concern pinches onto his face with knitted brows and pressed together lips.
Something in you wants him to turn away, so you donât have to think about why he is worried for you, even after all the trouble you caused, but he doesnât.
His sandaled steps are heavy as he comes to you, reaching for your hands but finding the gesture fruitless as his own slip right through yours.
âDulcissima,â he speaks weakly, shock woven in his words.
You had told him about fading a little while ago, when the two of you were in that field. Now it seems the severity of it has hit him.
What is hitting you is the name. Dulcissima, or sweetest. How long had it been since you had been referred to so fondly? All at once you are being remembered, recognized, and shown some affection. It feels like too much and tears are falling out of your control.
âIâm sorry,â you manage, âI was supposed toâ to keep you safe.â
Marcus is shaking his head already, refusing your apology.
âNo, no. You did keep me safe, you did. I pushed you away, I couldnât control myself and I caused this,â he argues.Â
It does not comfort you that you both blame yourselves. You wish to reach out to him and touch his face like you should have when he was warm and alive. You want to know if he is cold now, and itâs as if he hears you.
Marcus places a hand on your cheek, a softness in his eyes and hold that says that he missed you.
âI saw you,â he claims, âwhen I was on the ground. You were the last thing I saw.â
Somewhere between life and death for mortals, there are moments of godly clarity. Some see the light, others see their families and memories, but in that tiny glimpse of time, some see Gods.Â
He was able to see you as you knelt over him, sobbing as you were cloaked to any mortal's naked eye. You were the last thing he saw, and the last thing he truly regretted.Â
All you can do is stiltedly nod at him, feeling like you were in trouble even though it seems heâs not upset.
For a moment, his eyes flick away, contemplative, but then he meets your gaze again.
âI told Lucilla of you, before I died. Notâ not of my feelings which I struggled with, but that you were a close friend, a blessing in many ways.â
A blessing in many ways.
Another choked sob is wracked from your chest, your bottom lip curling out embarrassingly as your face contorts. He almost coos at you, the thumb on your cheek rubbing away your tears.
âGoddess, I have missed you,â he admits.Â
Stupid nods are all you can offer, your voice imprisoned in your ever tightening throat which cries. When he was alive he was never this tender, too confused and insecure to ever touch you, but it seems he has been regretting things too.
âFelicitas,â he says quietly, âdo you come here for ill reason?â
You shake your head this time, rather than nodding. You have no reason to be here, other than the fact that guilt has taken over your mind and heart since he died.
âThen relax, dulcissima. I have an offering for you.â
Marcus relaxes his stature, eyes still gazing over you. He looks at your fading palms and you watch him swallow nervously.
âI will worship you again, lending you offerings here, and all I ask in return is for our friendship again.â
Itâs the opposite of how you met, almost completely, but itâs everything you need. You will not fade, he will not struggle in marriage, and you will have one another again.Â
Again, you are nodding stupidly, but soon youâre embraced by him and nodding into his chest. His hands grasp at your back as he tells you how much he missed you in his final weeks, how he regrets losing you entirely, how he requires you as a friend.Â
You are satiated in his arms as he comforts you, awakening you again there on the terrace. Unbeknownst to you, Marcus has let tears slip down too as he holds you close.Â
âYou will keep me safe here?â he asks jokingly.
It makes you smile, the idea of offering luck to a man who already died.
âYes, General. I will keep you safe here, from all the horrifying glory and splendor,â you assure.
The two of you laugh, breaking the embrace but staying close. A passionate connection is still between the two of you, but in a different way now. Maybe when he was alive it was romantic because it is all you could think of, but through his death the two of you have come to understand it more.Â
You require one another in a unique way, and leaning on one another does not have to be intimate the way he is with his wife. Marcus does need you, just as you need him, and now that you are both immortal in a way, you will never be separated again.
please leave a comment, like, reblog, askbox, or ANYTHING. i'd love to hear thoughts on this <33
tags (people who seemed excited for this) (sorry if these dont work)
@pascalssbabyy , @moonshapedflan , @gossipgirl-03 , @kyloispunk , @frannyzooey , @coocoolahh , @bug-boy32 , @honeymarvel , @magicalmorg , @1deakybass , @tuquoquebrute , @harryshousewhore , @teeagain, @chewie-bars , @vampyyweek , @queenslandlover-93 , @amijenn , @aquanatalie
#pedro pascal#gladiator ii#gladiator 2#gladiator ii spoilers#gladiator 2 spoilers#marcus acacius x reader#marcus acacius x you#marcus acacius#general acacius#general acacius x reader#lucilla x marcus#i just realized idk lucillas last name oops#pedroverse#ellie writes
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-> Audiovisual references <- -> AO3 Link <-
Summary: You go with Nero to a Wanderer Convention (the LaDS equivalent of Comic-Con) and shenanigans ensue after you win a cosplay contest...
Content: MDNI Porn with plot, hanging out with Nero, tension between you two, a bunch of cliche situations, Carter cameo because yes, experienced dom!fem!Reader, virgin extremely sub!Nero, coworkers to lovers, handjob, fingering, blowjob, p in v sex with protection (cowgirl to cuddling), overstimulation (crying), pussy eating, pegging, aftercare.
Word count: ~15k (this got out of my hands so fast) (+ extra at the end)
A/N: I wrote this for me and the other 3 freaks in the fandom who like Nero. I had so many ideas and scenes in mind but it honestly felt like too much for ONE fic so... Don't be surprised if I write more stuff for Nero in the future. I'm far from done. Mwah <3
There was a stillness in the air, uncomfortable for anyone who could feel it. In this case, most of the Hunters in the room could, except for the one who had caused it.
Nero had barged into the floor where you all worked, waving two pieces of paper high in the air, yelling, âI got free tickets for the WandererCon, and they let me bring a +1, so who wants to come!?â
It had been so out of character for him, to be so loud and cheerful, that you all had turned from your desks to stare at him. The question now was, who wanted to go with him? He was the only one that liked Wanderers to that extent.
And so, a silence fell across the room. His expression started to falter, realizing how embarrassing it was to yell such a thing to his coworkers, and the lifted hand with the tickets began to plummet.
âMe! I wanna go!â You jumped, feeling nothing but pity for the poor guy.
He brightened up again, âReally?â
You walked up to him, giving Tara a look, and nodded. âYeah, when is it?â
Back to his usual introversion, but motivated by your display of interest, he presented the ticket to you. âThis weekend⌠It lasts the whole two days, b-but! We can go at whatever day and time is best for youâŚâ
You took the ticket. It was a bright blue piece of laminated paper with a drawing of a chibi Wanderer waving glow sticks, the words âCome wander through WandererCon! Weekend pass for 1. Only valid if presented with its twin ticket.â were written in glittery white. He was holding an identical one.
There was a choice to make. Clearly, Nero wanted to spend the whole weekend at this event, which would mean sacrificing all of yours for his happiness. Would it really be that bad? It was a once-a-year event, and the guy didnât really have friends outside of forums to go to this with.
âIâm completely free this weekend, so letâs make the most of it!â You smiled.
Blush creeped up his face, mouth opening and closing a couple of times, fighting the urge to assure you that - No, itâs really okay if you donât want to spend the whole weekend there - because damn it, he did actually want to do that, and since you were offering so nicelyâŚ
âOkay!â He finally exclaimed, clutching his ticket tight.
âWe can discuss the details later, we have to go back to work or Jenna will think weâre slacking.â
âR-right, yeah, of courseâŚâ He stumbled over to his desk, glancing at you once over his shoulder before disappearing behind his wall of monitors.
On your way back to yours, Tara rolled his chair closer, whispering, âThat was nice of you. You know, I doubt he would have complained if you had only offered an hour of your time.â
âItâs fine. I really didnât have plans for this weekend, anyways.â
âHave fun. And good luck with Nero⌠Heâs probably going to be very excitable.â
You chuckled. âThanks. Iâll buy you something.â
Hours later, it was time to head back home.
You turned off your computer and walked over to Neroâs. He was typing up a storm and didnât notice you approaching. An extensive document analyzing the material and composition of Wandererâs body-formed blades, and whether or not they can be considered an exoskeleton. You recalled Jenna asking for such a report earlier, but you didnât expect a whole dissertation about it. Squinting, you could see that there were⌠143 pages of text, all written today.
âDamn, fast fingersâŚâ You muttered, before realizing you had said it out loud.
The typing stopped abruptly. âWhat?â He swiveled in his chair, face pale in shock, not quite meeting your eyes.
âNothing! I just, um, came here to say âIâll text you later to discuss what weâll do tomorrowâ, so, yeah, message delivered. Iâll leave now.â You waved goodbye, smiling awkwardly.
âOkay.â He nodded, waving back. He was still recovering from your words, though he couldnât tell if he had heard correctly.
You arrived home and sighed. Were you truly ready for the activities of the next two days? Only time could tell.
After having dinner, now relaxing in your living room, you opened the messaging app. You couldnât remember the exact moment you two had exchanged phone numbers, but this would be the first time you had texted each other, and the revelation made you strangely self-conscious about what your introductory message should be. Shaking your head, you went for something simple.
-> CLICK HERE TO PLAY THE TEXT MESSAGES! <-
Your patience be damned, you were determined to help Nero have a good time at the convention no matter what. Setting the phone down, you walked to your closet and rummaged around for the Lumiere costume, which was pleasantly clean and ready to be worn.
Goal in mind, you went to bed, ready for whatever the weekend would bring.
The alarm went off, signaling the start of your (most probably) eventful day. You rolled out of bed, had breakfast, took a shower, and commenced the Lumierification.Â
In theory, it was simple, but it took you a minute to manage to fully zip up the dress since you couldnât reach, and the thigh highs refused to stay on your thighs until you used fashion tape, not to mention the mask kept tilting to one side.
Eventually, everything was perfectly in place, hair and make up as well. Just in time, too, since the clock now read 10:30. You grabbed your bag and made your way out.
Parked outside was an unremarkable small gray car, but that was the last thing in your thoughts. Leaning on it with his arms crossed, stood a perfect recreation of a Luminivore, so much so that your first instinct was to reach for your gun - even if you werenât carrying it.
Whatever cool and composed attitude Nero had went right out of the window once he saw you approach, uncrossing and crossing his arms again only to uncross them and scratch the back of his neck, which he couldnât, because of the costume, so he let them drop and shifted on his feet.
âYou- You said-,â he coughed, sound muffled through the headpiece, âI thought you were going to wear-â
You looked down at yourself. Ooooh, right. He was probably expecting a male version of the costume.
âMy bad, sorry for the confusion,â you waved a hand in the air, chuckling, âI guess Iâm a female version of Lumiere. Is that okay?â
âOkay?â he said a little louder than intended, âYes, of course- Of course itâs okay.â
You stepped closer to look at his costume. âThis looks amazing, by the way.â
He froze.
âDonât tell me you drove here wearing that helmet, though, because⌠That seems dangerous.â
He quickly shook his head. âN-no, I didnât, I just wanted to show you the whole thing put togetherâŚâ
âAh, good,â you lifted your hand to touch one of the glowing ridges on his arm, âYou did a great job. Looks just like the real thing.â
âThanks,â he squeaked out.
You clapped your hands together and smiled. âWell, letâs go! We have a great day ahead of us!â
The noise made him straighten up. He nodded and reached up to take off the headpiece. Under it, he looked like always, glasses lopsided and hair a bit ruffled from wearing the Wandererâs head, but nothing different. You also took note of the red hue on his cheeks, but you attributed it to the same cause as the others. He smiled and gestured for you to get in the car.
The drive was mostly silent, except for the music coming from the radio. Nero had asked you if you wanted to put on your own playlist because âhis music taste was badâ, but you shook your head, so he settled for the radio. Otherwise, neither of you talked.
You decided to look up what the eventâs activities were. He had probably planned it out already, but you were still curious.
A lecture on Wanderers by a Xander scientist, a card tournament - you didnât know they sold cards, a Meet and Greet with some renowned Hunters, a cosplay contest, a Twinkle Toys plushie reveal, a DIY Protocore candy station⌠The list went on. It seemed like people took this more seriously than you thought. There were also many merch stands all over the enclosure.
One of the activities stood out to you, though.
âAre you going to enter the cosplay contest?â
He gripped the steering wheel, âN-no. Why are you asking..?â
âYou should! You have a shot at winning with yours.â
âMmm⌠I donât know. Iâd have to go up a stage, with so many people lookingâŚâ
âItâs up to you. In my opinion, you could win, but I might be biased because weâre friends,â you giggled.
He chuckled, brow a bit furrowed.
An hour later, you arrived at the place where the convention would be held. It turned out that there was a parking lot reserved for those attending, so you didnât have to go in circles looking for an empty spot.
You got out of the car and stretched, looking around. Quite a few people - some in costume, some not - were already gathering at the entrance.
Nero put the headpiece back on and walked a few steps towards the crowd, before stopping and turning to make sure you were following. He tilted his head in a âcoming?â gesture.
Sliding your tote bag up your shoulder, you skipped along.
A queue rapidly formed, with a coordination you didnât expect from a group of sleep deprived nerds. Some of them looked at you - more like ogled at you. Great.
âQuantumSocialite?â A random guy approached Nero, calling him by his username. His friends gasped and whispered among themselves.
â...Yes?â
âDude, itâs me, LuxLuxLucis.â
âThe Lightchasers mod? Oh, wow!â
âYou really wore the costume! It looks insane. Youâre a legend. The material looks so accurate, how did you do it?â
âThank you. I analyzed many Luminivore pictures and samples of their chitinous exterior, then compared what materials would be best to use without risking the quality whileâŚâ
Aaand just like that, you stopped paying attention. Instead, you noticed how this guyâs friends kept whispering stuff and giggling while looking at Nero. They were giving you major bad vibes. Pretending to be still listening to the incomprehensible yapping, you shuffled closer and eavesdropped on what they were saying.
â...paid her to come along with him.â
âFor sure, heâs chronically online and he made that costume, thereâs no way a female is hanging out with him willingly.â
âWow, you guys know a lot about Wanderers,â you said pointedly, joining Neroâs conversation, âIâm actually learning a lot. Iâm really happy I was the one that got to be your +1 and not our coworkers,â you gave him a warm smile.
The whispering ceased, now replaced by confused looks. He was completely still, his thoughts a mystery since his face was hidden.
âIf you want to learn about Wanderers, youâre in good hands,â said the guy he was talking to, âHeâs the most knowledgeable in that area.â
âI know! He really is. Iâm really lucky we came together.â
Nero looked down at his clawed gloves, fidgeting with them. The two trash talkers were staring in anger, which you interpreted as jealousy since they were most likely projecting. Suck it.
Just then, an announcement rang out, stating the opening of the gates and the inauguration of the convention. Everyone got their tickets ready and began entering the place.
People were getting a bit pushy and the crowd got thick around you, so you hooked your arm around Neroâs to avoid getting lost or trampled, feeling safer next to his bulky costume. He jerked his head towards you, then realized why you were standing that close to him, and folded his arm to let you hold onto him better. An imperceptible tremble ran across his body.
You both walked to the gates and presented your tickets.
âAlright, letâs see⌠Couplesâ weekend passes⌠Everything looks in order! Have fun,â the staff member smiled.
â...couplesâ?â You asked when he was out of earshot.
âW-wait, n-no, I- I didnât, I mean-,â he gestured wildly with his hands, âThey w-were given to me, you remem-ber, how I said, I said I got them for f-free? But I didnât want to uhh⌠Um, to make it weird! At the office! S-so I skipped the fact that they were for, uh, couplesâŚâ
You chuckled, âNero, itâs okay, I was asking out of pure curiosity. I have nothing against them being for couples.â
âO-oh. Okay. Right. HaâŚâ He visibly relaxed at your reassurance.
âSo, what do you want to do first?â
âI was thinking we could walk around and see all the stands. Should be enough time until the first scheduled eventâŚâ
âSure! Letâs go.â
It was a big space with rows of stalls selling merch, but also âofficialâ booths, including a Hunterâs equipment showcase, one for the show Super Hunters - with exclusive art never seen before, another with Lumiere memorabilia straight from Linkonâs History museum, Wanderersâ life-sized replicasâŚ
Obviously, you visited all of these with Nero. Even took a picture of him next to the Luminivore replica per his request. It was cute seeing him struggle to find a good pose.
âThe lecture is going to start soon⌠Iâm going to head over there, but if youâre not interested, you donât have to go.â
âThe Xander lecture? No, Iâm going with you,â you said with determination. You didnât tell him that it was because you thought they were shady as hell and this was a good opportunity to get further information about them, but itâs not like he needed to know.
With Neroâs planning, you managed to get a good seat at the lecture hall before it filled up. He took off the headpiece to be able to see better and to avoid bothering the people behind him, placing it on his lap. Both your bags rested between your feet.
A staff member appeared, microphone in hand. âHello everyone, and welcome to Xander Sciencesâ lecture on the nature of Wanderers. Without further delay, let me introduce the man who will be speaking today, Dr. Carter!â
Everyone clapped as the man himself walked onstage. You were immediately on high alert, eyes trained on him.
âThank you, thank you. Itâs a pleasure to be here,â he took the microphone.
The next hour was spent picking at every word he said, trying to find any kind of incriminating loose threads, but it was clear the lecture was well rehearsed and none of what he said was useful to you, even if the way he talked about Wanderers put you on edge.
At the end, you grabbed Neroâs arm and pulled him along, âI want to talk to Dr. Carter for a moment.â
âOkay,â he followed, cheeks pink.
The rest of the attendants walked to the exit, which gave you a clear path towards the stageâs stairs.
âDr. Carter!â You called out, waving your hand up.
He stopped for a moment, surprised to see you there. He smiled, âAh, Miss Hunter, itâs a pleasure to see you again. I didnât know Iâd have such esteemed listeners in the audience today,â he extended his hand to shake yours. You didnât.
âItâs an honor to meet you in person, Dr. Carter, that was a very insightful lecture,â said Nero.
âThe honor is mine. You seem to be a Wanderer enthusiast,â he looked at his costume.
âHeâs my coworker,â you cut in, putting a little more emphasis on âmyâ than you intended, âdonât bother trying to recruit him for anything.â
âAs cold as ever I see, Miss Hunter. It was a simple observation, I didnât even say anything.â
âWhy did you decide to give a lecture here, Dr. Carter?â You ignored his remarks.
âWhy not? Iâve done a lot of research on Wanderers, and I thought itâd be best to share my knowledge with those seeking it.â
You were sure there was something more to this than that, but you doubted he would outright admit it. It could even be something much simpler, shameless Xander Sciences publicity to make people interested in being under their care, whatever that entailed. You hoped people wouldnât fall for it.
He continued, âSince youâre here, you wouldnât by chance be interested in a quick chat between us, would you?â He took half a step closer.
You felt a weight around your shoulders, pulling you back. Nero, who had been silently watching, spoke with a frown.
âShe clearly wants nothing to do with you. What do you think youâre doing?â
You looked at him, eyebrows raised. He had a very determined look on his face, one you had only seen when someone insulted Lumiere in his vicinity, and to be honest, he was kind of intimidating. Kind of.
The tension could be cut with a knife. They glared at each other for what felt like an eternity. If it was your turn to say anything, they were out of luck, because you had no idea what to say. Finally, Carter stepped back and slid his hands in his pockets.
âHave fun in the convention, Miss Hunter. And your Wanderer pet too,â he smirked.
He walked away, leaving you both huffing at his arrogance. No, actually, as you looked at Nero, you discovered you were the only one huffing. He was tomato red.
âYou had more things planned for today, right?â You snapped him out of it.
âA-ah, yes,â he pushed his glasses up, âletâs go have lunch.â
There were food trucks stationed outside of the convention center. The walk helped Nero calm down, though he couldnât seem to look you in the eye. He wished he could put the headpiece back on, but it was a pointless action since you were about to eat and heâd have to take it off again.
After some deciding, you settled for skewers of deep fried chicken that were easy to eat standing up. You chose the honey sauce, he chose the sweet and sour sauce. For something so simple, it was delicious - the queue you had to wait was definitely worth it.
âDo you want to try mine?â You held up a skewer to him.
His eyes darted between it and your face, blinking.
âI mean, we got different flavors, soâŚâ You shrugged.
At that, he shook his head like he was getting rid of his thoughts, then nodded.
âOkay. Iâll trade you- Mhmph!?â
You didnât give him a chance to finish his sentence - âone of my skewers for one of yoursâ - not that you had heard the beginning of it in the first place. All you heard was him agreeing to try yours.Â
You shoved the skewer into his mouth.
It took him a moment to understand what just had happened, but when it dawned on him, he turned red again. You were confused as to why he was staring at you instead of biting.
â...â
â...â
He bit down and gently pushed your hand away.
âHow is it? Good, right?â
âY-yesâŚâ
âCan I try yours now?â
He lifted a skewer to give it to you in hand, but you-
âAaahâŚâ You opened your mouth expectantly.
The chances of him surviving this weekend decreased with every minute he spent by your side. Alas, he moved the skewer closer to your mouth with a trembling hand. You met him halfway and bit down on it, causing him to flinch.
You tore off a piece of the fried chicken, relishing in the taste with a âmmmmâ as you chewed. By this point, he was fully looking away, covering his mouth with his gloved hand; it was so difficult to keep a clear mind.
âYours is really good too!â
He hummed in response.
After finishing the food, a few people in cosplay walked past, followed by more, and more groups. The contest must have been about to start.
âYouâre really not going to participate?â You asked.
Nero shook his head. He had put the helmet back on, to feel less âexposedâ more than anything.
âIs there any way I could convince you? What if we went together? You wouldnât be alone,â you pulled out your phone, âI read thereâs exclusive merch as reward for the winners that wonât be obtainable otherwise, and, look, thereâs even a surprise prize for the couplesâ category.â
You swore you heard him inhale sharply.
âWe already have the couplesâ tickets, donât we? Whatâs the harm?â
You knew you were pushing him a bit too much, but you were sure that deep down he wanted to join the contest, all he needed was some bribing convincing, and limited merch was sure to do the trick.
ââŚDo you really want to join?â
âYeah! Itâll be fun. Unless you think my costume isnât that good. I donât want to bring our score down.â
âNo, no, no! Your costume is perfect! You look perfect. It would be great if we went together, actuallyâŚâ
It was crazy to you that he got flustered over the smallest things but was able to say that to you with no trouble. Maybe he didnât notice what he just said.
âGreat! Letâs go register, then!â
Following the cosplayers, you walked back inside towards the hall where the contest would be held. They all looked fantastic, from many other Lumieres, to Wanderers of all kinds (a girl dressed as Heartbreaker was so cute), to characters from the Super Hunters show. All could be winners. But you looked to your left to the nervous mess that was walking alongside you, and you were certain that he would score the highest.
Names written, you were given the number 34 to go onstage. While you waited for your turn, you made sure everything about your costumes was in place. You even managed to convince him to practice some poses.
âIâm not sure about thisâŚâ He fidgeted with one of the protruding crystals on his elbow.
âWeâre already inscribed, you canât chicken out now.â
âI⌠Thereâs so many people hereâŚâ
âNero,â you swatted his hand away so he wouldnât ruin his own costume, âforget about them. Donât look at them. Just look at me. Weâre going to crush this, okay?â
He nodded faintly.
âWhen we go up there, keep your eyes on me if you want. Pretend the judges donât exist.â
âO-okay.â
And so he did. When you two went onstage, his eyes didnât stray from you. Not as you unsheathed your sword and struck a pose, not as you pretended to fight him, not as you gave a final smile and bow to the judges, not as you grabbed his arm and dragged him off the stage. The thing was, hadnât you told him to keep his eyes on you, he still would have. He had been marveling at you from the corner of his eye whenever he had worn the helmet.
âYou did great, Nero!â You clapped, giddy. âWeâre gonna win for sure!â
He fidgeted under your praise, âThank you.â
The rest of the contestants had their turn, which made you increasingly nervous; you wanted to know the results as soon as possible. You had gone through the trouble of convincing Nero, it would be a shame if you didnât get at least a minor prize.
âAnd now, on the couplesâ categoryâŚâ The voice of the presenter echoed backstage, âIn third place, couple 52!â Applause. The respective couple walked out. âIn second place, couple 19!â More applause. They walked out, too. âBefore we announce first place, a few honorable mentionsâŚâ Oh, come on.Â
âItâs okay if we donât win,â Nero said with a soft voice.
You took his hand, âWe are going to win.â
You had only taken his hand to calm down your own nerves, excitement and anticipation coursing through your veins, but it also helped him relax slightly, as long as he didnât think too hard about the fact that he was holding your hand.
âIn first placeâŚâ You both tensed up. âCouple 34!â
He squeezed your hand in reflex. Time stopped for a second. It wasnât until a staff member pushed you both towards the stage that your face broke into a big smile, jumping and shaking Nero.
You were received with applause, like the previous couples. They made you walk to the center of the stage, standing between the other two pairs of winners, who were also clapping. The judges spoke.
âCongratulations to all of the winners, and thank you to everyone who participated. If you may all please take off the parts covering your faces so we can see our champions properlyâŚâ
The couples beside you took off theirs, you took off the Lumiere mask, and Nero took off the helmet. Applause followed. He smiled shyly, looking around at the crowd. Confetti rained down. Lost in the excitement of the moment, you moved closer to give Nero a kiss on the cheek. Just as he was turning to you.
Now, itâs not like you kissed him. But your lips did land on the corner of his mouth.Â
You blinked at each other.
âH-HUH?â He reeled back, covering his flushed face.
No time to explain yourself, as the staff members brought the prizes and shoved them into your hands. A large basket filled with all kinds of merch was given to all three pairs of participants.
âAnd for the couple who placed first, a special bonus! WandererCon has collaborated with a nearby hotel for a unique experience, offering you both a one-night stay!â
The staff gave you some documents detailing everything.
âThat concludes this yearsâ contestâŚâ The judge continued, but you werenât listening anymore.
Because if what the documents said was true, you were about to spend the night with Nero in a room with one bed. Judging by the look on his face, he had just read that part, too.
âWe have to tell them, that thereâs been a⌠Um. A mistake,â he told you later, sitting on a bench, helmet back on to hide his expression.
âWhat if we tell them that weâre not a couple and they take away our prizes? They would question why we entered the couplesâ category if weâre not one,â you reasoned.
The thought of losing the merch made him pause.
âItâll be fine. I read that the room has a couch. One of us can sleep on it. And! Did you read the part about the Wanderer-themed food theyâll be serving us for dinner and breakfast? That sounds amazing.â
âYeah⌠It doesâŚâÂ
In the end, he relented. Thatâs how you found yourself taking the keys to the room in the hotelâs reception, where you were informed of all the amenities and services provided.
A few of the guests gave you weird looks, but the receptionist asked to take a picture with you both.
âYou must be the winners of the contest!â She had said with excitement. âWell, lovebirds, enjoy the room,â she added at the end of her explanation, winking.
The ride in the elevator was awkward after that moment. Floor 1⌠Floor 2⌠Floor 3⌠All the way to floor 6.
Luckily, the luxuriousness of the room took over all of your thoughts as you stepped in. It made you wonder what WandererCon could gain by partnering with this hotel for such a sum of money spent on this suite.
âThe description on the document did not do this place justice,â you commented.
âYeah⌠That sofa is bigger than my bed back at homeâŚâ He took off the helmet to see the place better.
The floor-to-ceiling windows gave you a view of the hotelâs garden below. A massive TV hung from the wall, coffee table and sofa in front of it. There was even a kitchenette in a corner, minifridge filled to the brim with free stuff that you couldnât help but want to try right away just because it was free.
To the left, the entrance to the bedroom. If the sofa was already big enough to sleep, the canopy bed mustâve been king size. On it, a pair of folded pajamas and a change of underwear had been left, as well as a gift basket filled withâŚ
âIâm going to put that away,â you said promptly, not giving Nero the chance to process its contents.
You opened the wardrobe and shoved it in the lowest space available.
âWoah⌠Look at this,â he beckoned from the bathroom door.
Peeking from his shoulder, the only word that you could really use to describe what you were seeing was lavish. Marble floors and walls, a massive shower, a massive sink under a massive mirror, and of course, to top it off, a massive jacuzzi. The reason for their sizes being that they were meant to be used by two people at once.
Room fully explored, you sat down on the sofa to discuss what to do next.
âTheyâll bring us dinner as soon as we ask for it. I donât know about you, but I want to take a shower and change first,â you said, taking off some of the costumeâs accessories.
âUh, yeah, no, I agree. You can use the bathroom first, Iâll go after you.â
âOkay. Thanks.â
You took the provided clothes and stepped into the bathroom, feeling tiny. It was easy to take off most of what you were wearing, except the same item that gave you trouble when you first got Lumierefied: The dress. You tried to reach the zipper at the top of your back from different angles, but you couldnât get enough leverage to pull it down.
âDamn it.â
Nero was on his phone when you walked back to the sofa, presumably on one of his forums.
âHey.â
He almost dropped his phone, startled. âYeah?â He turned to you.
âI canât unzip my dress. Would you mind helping me?â
Instantly red. And phone dropped.
You turned around to show him the zipper. âIf you pull it a bit I think I can reach the rest of the way.â
He had taken off his clawed gloves already to be able to use his phone, so he had no excuse to procrastinate. As he moved to stand behind you, you could feel his shaky breaths on your nape, and you could swear you heard his heart hammering in his chest.
Ziiip.
It was faster than you had expected. Then again, you guessed he wanted to be done with it as soon as possible.
âT-there.â
âThank you!â
Back in the bathroom, you took off the dress and turned on the shower. If you had been on your own, you would have tried the jacuzzi, but you didnât want to take up too much time.
The water was nice and hot, not to mention the shampoo and gel given by the hotel smelled really good. Like coconut.
You finished showering and wrapped a towel around your body, drying your hair a bit too. There were a few steps in your post-shower routine that you usually went through, but you remembered that Nero was quite resolute about cleanliness and would want to use the shower as soon as possible, so in the name of efficiency, you took your clothes and lotions out of the bathroom and into the bedroom.
âIâm done! You can go now,â you called out.
âOkay!â
He came trotting through the door, only to freeze and cover his eyes with his hands upon seeing your towel-clad form.
âY-you said you were d-doneâŚâ His voice got quieter and quieter.
âI am! I know you like being clean, and you already did me a favor by letting me go first, so you can shower while I finish changing here!â
âItâs okay⌠Really, I, I can waitâŚâ
âNonsense. Come on.â
You grabbed his set of clothes and pushed them into his hands, forcing him to look at you, the way you wet hair clung to your skin, your flushed cheeks due to the heat of the water, the dangerously low point the towel was resting on your chest- He swallowed.
Completely ignoring his wandering eyes, moreso because it amused you, you grabbed his arm and forced him into the bathroom.
âSee? Was that so difficult?â
You closed the door before he could answer, but he had little to say.
Time to finish your self-care routine. You grabbed the body moisturizer and started applying it to your arms and legs, the texture soft. Would they tell you the brand if you asked in the hotelâs reception?
While you pondered this, there was a crash.
âNeroâŚ? You okay?â
âU-uh, yeah! I- I fell trying to get this offâŚâ
âHaving trouble with your costume, too? Yours looks harder to put on and take off than mine.â
âI didnât really have trouble putting it on, but nowâŚâ
âOkay, let me help,â you knocked.
The door opened a crack, then closed as soon as he saw you.
âYou- Ah, mm⌠Change first.âÂ
âI canât put on the pajamas yet, I have to let the lotion dry. Just come out.â
One second of silence. Two seconds of silence. The door opened again.
Making a gesture with your hands for him to move closer, you instructed him to lean down so you could pull off the upper part of the costume. He was glad he didnât have to look at you and could look at the floor instead.
It was difficult to find the right amount of force to use, since you didnât want to ruin it, but you had to get it unstuck.
So you pulled, and pulled, and pulled, each time with a bit more strength- Too late. The piece came off, but now there was no time to brake. You stumbled back, making Nero stumble forward, the costume part flying off backwards over your head and landing on the other side of the room⌠Just as you landed on the floor and Nero on top of you.
âOwâŚâ You reached to rub your head. At least there was a carpet.
âI- Uh- Um- I-â
You blinked your eyes open to see why Nero was speechless now. Ah. The towel.
It wasnât completely off, but a straight line of skin was exposed from your right shoulder to your right thigh. That included half of your chest.
The rest was covered, but itâs not like it mattered right now.
He couldnât function. His eyes were glued to your body, and his face was poppy red. Even his glasses were fogging up.
âOh, please,â you rolled your eyes, âNero, itâs a body part. Youâve never seen a body?â
He didnât answer, still overwhelmed.
Well, since this had happened, you might as well have fun.
âLook.â
You grabbed his hand that was planted next to your head and pressed it to your breast, lifting an eyebrow.
âSee? Just a body part.â
He squeaked and reeled back, pulling his hand free and crawling away from you. You sat up with a mischievous smile.
âBe honest,â you started, crawling towards him, âyou like all this, donât you? When Iâm close to you, when I pay attention to you, when I touch youâŚâ
He whimpered in response. The towel had fully fallen off by now.
âYou act all shy, but we both know⌠Youâve been wanting this from the beginning.â
You reached him, caging him beneath you as he lay flat on the ground to stay as far away from you as possible. He was wearing a white T-shirt under the upper part of the costume, but he had yet to remove the bottom half, and you were certain that there was no space for him to wear pants of any kind under it, so he must be in boxers.
âI wonât do anything else unless I have your permission. If you want me to continue, you have to say it.â
Droplets from your wet hair fell on his face. Somehow, he managed to keep eye contact.
âYouâŚâ His chest fell and rose. âK-kiss me again, like before? P-pleaseâŚâ
Right, the accidental kiss. Had he been thinking about it this whole time? It was a quite innocent request compared to the situation you had put him in, but surprisingly direct coming from Nero.
His eyes darted to your lips several times, but he didnât dare move.
âYou want me to kiss you,â you repeated, then smirked, âis that all?â
He made a sound of protest and frustration. His fingers clutched the carpet in an attempt to hold himself back from doing anything embarrassing. He shook his head.
âNo? What else? Use your words, pretty boy.â
His hand flew to his mouth. Did you really just call him that? You chuckled.
âFine, weâll take it slow.â
You pulled his hand away and pinned his arms to the floor. Slowly, so slowly, you leaned down until your lips brushed against his. Nothing more than a feather touch had him already gasping.
âLetâs seeâŚâ You whispered, âthis is what I did before.â
Repeating what had happened in the contest, you kissed the corner of his lips. This time, however, letting the contact last longer, and making sure that a âmmmâ sound reverberated into the kiss.
When you pulled away, Nero was practically panting. His body squirmed under you, but you were certain it wasnât because he wanted to escape your cruel intentions.
âThere. Thatâs what you asked for.â
âW-wait!â Afraid that you were going to leave him like that, he found his voice again, âI want⌠Uhm- If you could, ahâŚâ
âAll you have to do is ask for it.â
He closed his eyes tight, as if saying these next words took all of his strength, âDo whatever you want with me.â
Your eyes widened. Oh, wow. He was actually a freak. Always the shy ones⌠You huffed a laugh, brushing the tip of your nose across his cheek to prompt him to open his eyes.
âWhatever, huh. Letâs be sensible. Just in case, letâs agree on a safe word,â you looked at him with genuine consideration.
He nodded, growing increasingly nervous at the thought of what you were about to do to him.
âHow about⌠âProtocoreâ?â
âO-okay,â he knew this wasnât a silly matter, so he was trying his best to be verbal about it.
âAlright, test it out. When should you say it?â
âUm⌠When I, if I feel uncomfortable⌠I should say p-protocore.â
âGood boy.â
Those two words made bumps appear all over his arms. You smiled with amusement.
That matter settled, your eyes made a very deliberate path to his lips. Since you were holding his wrists, your finger rested right over the pulse point there, showing you just how fast his heart had started beating at your gaze.
He tilted his head up to get himself the smallest bit closer to you, practically begging for a kiss. An actual proper kiss.
Your lips pressed against his, finally. You noticed they were slightly chapped, the texture rough in contrast to your softness, but that only made you want to run your tongue over them. So you did.
He instantly opened his mouth in response. You plunged your tongue into his mouth, which earned you a muffled whimper. He swiped his tongue against yours with caution, growing more comfortable as you kept going. It became messy very fast due to his inexperience, the deeper you kissed him, the more he started drooling.
Despite that, he was a very desperate kisser. Like he didnât believe this was happening, nor it would ever happen again in the future, so he might as well go all out in the present.
You pulled back and licked your lips, looking down at his state. His glasses, apart from foggy, were now crooked, and a line of drool ran down his chin. You licked it up.
âIâm curious,â you announced with an air of mystery.
He tilted his head, silently asking âabout?â. Not answering, you moved to sit next to him, setting his arms free. He mentally debated if he should touch your naked body with his newfound freedom, but he didnât have time to reach a conclusion as your hand slid to his pants - still part of the costume - and pulled them off, along with his underwear.
He froze in flustered silence, completely exposed to you. Part of him wanted to cover himself up, it was too embarrassing to let you see his fully erect leaking dick, he felt too self-conscious about it, but the other part of him was curious to know your opinion. Maybe if you insulted him now, it would be easier for him to accept that he had fumbled you once he got back home.
But, you didnât say anything.
No, as you stared at the 8-inch cock in front of you, you really didnât have anything to say. Always the shy ones indeed.
With almost wonder in your eyes, you wrapped a hand around it. Nero twitched.
âW-wait, mh-â
He pushed himself up on his elbows, reaching to grab your wrist with half-lidded eyes. You didnât move your hand, but returned your gaze to his expression.
âWait? For what?â
âI just, well, you were kissing me and- Iâm not saying I didnât like it, t-the opposite, but well Iâm nervous now, so⌠Uh, not yet because, because I-â
Cutting him off, you started pumping up and down, precum helping you slide along his length. He bit down hard on his lip to prevent a moan.
âW-wait! I! Ah-â
He let go of your hand in order to keep himself lifted on his elbows.
âStop, s-stop, Iâm too sensitive-â
You didnât let up. If anything, you sped up, brushing your thumb across the tip.
âI donât see how thatâs a problem,â you said with a smirk.
âB-because, mh, fffhâŚâ His words became higher pitched and whiney, âI donât-â
His worst nightmare was realized right then. Having any sort of sexual interaction with a beautiful girl and cumming in less than thirty seconds. How pathetic of him, he thought.
The cum spilled over your hand and shot all across his T-shirt, his abdomen and legs shaking. His elbows gave out and he fell on his back.
âIâm s-orry- Iâm sorry, Iâm so- sorry-â Was the only thing he said through the orgasm, covering his eyes.
You stood up and left to go to the bathroom, and it solidified the fact for him: You thought he was disgusting and wanted to get away from him as soon as possible.
Nothing further from the truth, as you returned with a damp towel after cleaning your hand to help him clean up. You moved his hands away from his face and repositioned his glasses.
âIâm sorry,â he repeated.
âWhat for?â You asked now that he had calmed down somewhat, handing him the towel.
âMm⌠I, I came too fastâŚâ
âBut I wanted you to cum.â
âW-well, yeah, but, you know, thatâs uhhâŚâ
He didnât look you in the eye as he cleaned himself and took his stained shirt off.
âItâs what?â
âKinda⌠PatheticâŚ?â
He stood up and realized you were both completely bare in front of the other, and he still hadnât touched you. The passing contact of his palm on your breast burned his skin.
âMaybe, but I found it hot.â
The blush returned to his face. He looked down and started fidgeting with his hands. You remembered he was about to shower before all of this happened, so you slid your hand in his and led him to the bathroom.
âUm, what are you-â
âIâve been wanting to try the jacuzzi.â
âOh.â
Water started filling the tub. In the meantime, you turned to Nero and stepped closer. He wanted to put his hands on you so badly, but he was too embarrassed to try.Â
Honestly, you just wanted to eat him up.
âRelax. Weâre just going to take a bath, and then weâll have dinner.â
âYeah⌠Okay.â
You reached up and gently took off his glasses. Before setting them aside, you tried them on, curious, only to find he had a very high prescription. Even though you were blurry, the way you widened your eyes wasnât missed and it made him giggle. As you looked at him, he coughed to cover up his laugh and looked away.
âIâd give you um, a compliment, about how they look on you but, you know uh⌠I canât really see. Although I k-know for a fact that you look good in them because, because you⌠You look g-good in anythingâŚâ
You took them off and put them near the sink, then kissed his cheek.
âThank you.â
Your bodies brushed when you got closer, and he instinctively lifted his hands with fear as if to say âI didnât touch you on purpose! Iâm not a pervert!â.
You shook your head and facepalmed. He panicked again at your gesture.
âNero, I just gave you a handjob,â you sighed, âYou know what? Itâs okay. Forget that happened, maybe I went too fast. Letâs start from the beginning.â
You turned off the faucet, water having reached an acceptable level, and gestured for him to get in first. Like a small animal in distress, he followed your command and sank into the water, cowering because you seemed angry - you werenât.
Before he could protest, you entered and sat on his lap, facing him, straddling his thighs. His hands gripped the edges of the tub.
âYou said-!â
âAnd I meant it! Calm down, I just want you to get more comfortable with me. My body. Not every skin to skin contact has to be about sex.â
He relaxed the tiniest bit.
âNow, put your hands on my waist. And you have to understand, I want you to touch me. Iâm not going to judge you for doing that. I was the one who put your hand on my chest!â
He nodded along with your explanation, sliding his hands down the white marble and bringing them to your sides. It still felt forced.
âTell me something. Do you want to touch me?â
âYes! Y-yesâŚâ He sank his mouth underwater, blowing a few bubbles.
âThen do it. I give you full permission to move your hands wherever you want. Would you rather I⌠Donât look?â You tilted your head. âIs that it? You feel judged if Iâm looking at you?â
âA bitâŚâ
âOkay.â
You wrapped your arms around his neck and leaned forward, resting your head against your bicep. Your chest pressed against his. He got hard again.
A few moments passed, but seeing you werenât moving nor saying anything, he began to slide his hands up. You could feel his warm face pressed to your cheek.
He stopped right when he felt your breasts, gathering the courage to continue. As gently as he could, he cupped each breast in his hands until his palms were flush with your skin.
âC-can I⌠squeeze or will that hurt you?â
âAs long as you donât do it very hard, itâs fine.â
Worried about how hard was âvery hardâ, he squeezed with barely any force, then ran his thumbs across your nipples. That made you exhale.
He froze.
âThat feels good,â you reassured him.
âOh, okay,â he was taking mental notes of every piece of information.
He continued his exploration, moving his hands down this time, to your thighs. The sound of water and his echoey breathing were the only noise in the bathroom, since you hadnât turned on the jacuzzi function yet.
He squeezed them, too, sliding his way up, but staying on the outer part.
âYouâre- Very um, soft.â
âI think itâs the lotion I just used, but thanks,â you kissed his cheek, âyour hands feel nice.â
âA-are you going to, uh, kiss me every time I compliment you?â
âYeah, why not.â
âWell, I think youâre very pretty, b-but! Obviously thatâs not the only thing about you, I mean, youâre a great Hunter and youâre very intelligent, every time you come back from a mission and I read your reports itâs always amazing to see how efficient you are, and youâre so much fun to spend time with, I-Iâm very happy you came with me- Ah! I didnât tell you before but you wear the costume so well, and youâre so talented-â
You cut him off with a kiss, which he instantly melted into. His arms wrapped around your waist to keep you close. This time he was a bit more sure of what he was doing, tilting his head and returning the motions of your lips. You pulled back but he furrowed his brow with a whine and dipped his head to kiss you again, one of his hands moving to cup your cheek.
Far from complaining, you kissed him back. The hand still on your back slid down to your rear. He broke the kiss with urgency.
âY-you⌠made me feel good so I want to m-make you feel good too⌠Um⌠Show me howâŚ?â
âYeah, of course,â you smiled, glad that he was warming up to intimacy.
He took his hand off your cheek and presented it to you. Grabbing his wrist, you plunged it into the water and brought it between your legs.
âFeel around first, donât be shy.â
The pads of his fingers traced down your pubes, over your clit and into your folds, finding your entrance.
âDo I justâŚâ
âHold on, you overlooked something.â
âI- I did?â
You moved his hand back slightly.
âThatâs my clitoris. I thought youâd like to know.â
He blushed furiously, âO-oh. Yeah, mhmâŚâ
His finger circled it a couple of times, getting used to its feel. Your breath hitched. Encouraged, he kept rubbing it.
âSo is it better to do this⌠Rather than, you know, f-fingering youâŚ?â
âBoth are different, but Iâm going to show you the best way. Put your ring and middle fingers together and put them in.â
âA-at the same time?â
âYeah, slowly.â
He followed your instructions, ever careful. Once they were fully in, you spoke up.
âOkay⌠Now curl-â
The action was immediate, a gasp falling from your lips as you gripped his shoulders.
âDid I hurt you!?â He was about to pull his hand back but you kept it in place, shaking your head.
âQuite the opposite. Youâre doing great. Now, press your palm upâŚâ
Your hips bucked into his touch as he did.
âY-yeah, like that, now you just move your fingers and rub with your palm.â
He started slow, pumping his fingers in and out while curled, making sure to keep the friction against your clit. You suspected he had skilled hands ever since you had seen him typing away on his computer, but his coordination was surpassing your expectations.
You grew breathless, your hips rocking in tandem with his touch. The water sloshed around you.
âAnd⌠You canâŚâ You grabbed his free hand and placed it on your breast with a squeeze. âMmm, like thatâŚâ
He was just as worked up as you, if not more. Unprompted - to your delight, he dipped his head and started kissing your neck. Very sweet and innocent kisses compared to what his hands were doing.
âC-can I, hm, b-bite you?â
âYes,â you breathed, the pronunciation of the word more lewd than you intended.
You felt his dick twitch on your thigh. His teeth clamped down on your neck, tongue licking the skin with intent. You moved your hand down to jerk him off again, but he stopped you, a frustrating loss on your chest.
âNo. T-this is for you⌠Just concentrate on feeling good, okay?â
âOkay,â you dug your fingers into his hair instead.
âAm I doing well?â His hand returned to fondling your breast.
âYouâre doing great⌠Mh- Maybe you can go faster now.â
No more words were needed. He picked up the pace, hitting your g-spot just right each time, grinding his palm against your clit with more determination.
The moans couldnât be held back anymore. He planted open-mouthed kisses to the spot where he had bitten, noting how you clenched around his fingers. How would that feel on his dick?
Pleasure started pooling, your movements becoming more erratic, reaching for that high. He noticed and pushed his fingers harder against your spongy walls.
âNero- Mh⌠Keep going like that, yes, just like that- Iâm gonna cum- Fuck, donât stop-â
Your hands clutched his hair, head falling back, and-
With a gasp, followed by a moan, the orgasm wrecked through you. He kept moving his hand until your head fell on his chest, just to make sure you had fully finished.Â
He pulled his fingers out and hugged you in silence as your breathing returned to normal.
Once your senses came back, you lifted your head to give him a sweet kiss. He smiled, shy.
âYou⌠Liked it?â
âYes. I didnât expect you to be so good at it,â you chuckled.
Pride overtook his expression.
âYou sure you donât want me toâŚâ You looked down at his erection.
He shook his head, âA-after dinner⌠If you want, I- We-â
You laughed again, âAfter dinner, absolutely. Let me help you wash your hair, at least. Itâs all tousled nowâŚâ
Since you had already taken a shower earlier, you focused on helping him, which he really appreciated. All the contact and intimacy that he had never had made this day easily one of the best of his life.
You washed his hair and massaged his scalp, sneaking a few kisses when he closed his eyes. He washed the rest of his body himself, blushing as you absentmindedly traced your fingers across his skin while you waited.
Before leaving the bath, you remembered the reason why you wanted to use it in the first place: The jacuzzi function. You pressed the button and relaxed for a few minutes under the bubbling water.
It wasnât healthy to stay too long, though, so you said goodbye to the jacuzzi with a mock salute.Â
Nero passed you a towel and wrapped one around himself. Luckily relaxing in the water had made him go soft again, relieved that he didnât have to feel embarrassed about having a tent.
You dried off then put on the pajamas and underwear, all very comfy and soft, and he put his glasses back on.
âIâll call them to bring our dinner while you dry your hair,â he offered.
âOkay!â
The hair dryer was also really good quality. You were definitely going to participate in more contests in the future, regardless of whether a hotel stay was in the prizes or not.
You brushed your dry hair and walked out of the bathroom. Just then, a knock at the door.
Nero opened it and a staff member entered, pushing a serving cart filled with covered plates. They left it next to the coffee table.
âWe have organized it so the entrĂŠes are on the upper tray, and dessert is on the bottom tray. The idea is that you go down each tray of food. Thereâs also a triptych on the top describing each meal. Do you have any questions?â
âNope.â You looked at Nero. He shook his head.
âThen Iâll get going. Enjoy your food!â They smiled.
âThank you!â You both said in unison.
The door closed. You took the first tray and put it on the table, then sat on the sofa.
âWant to do the honors?â You said to him.
âYeah. We can do one each,â he sat next to you and lifted the silver cover.
The food was amazing. Both in presentation - they nailed the âWanderersâ theme - and in taste. As you ate the meals, however, you noticed that Nero had grown weirdly quiet, and not in the usual shy way.
âIs everything alright?â You put your fork down.
âHm? Why?â
âI donât know, you seem upset or like, lost in thought.â
He put his fork down too.
âD-do you like me?â
â...What? What do you mean?â
âI mean⌠A-are you interested in me or⌠D-do you just want, uhm, a one night standâŚ?â
âOh! No, no, Iâm interested in you, Nero. I like you. Youâre so cute and sweet. I would⌠It would be nice if we started dating.â
âWait- Really?â He looked up at you with bright eyes, pushing up his glasses in a nervous gesture.
âIf you also want to, yes.â
âYes! Yes, I want to. I want you to be my g-girlfriend.â
You hugged him, covering his face in little kisses that knocked his glasses off. He laughed nervously, wrapping his arms around your waist and burying his face in your hair.
âS-stop, thatâs too muchâŚâ He complained, but you knew he wasnât actually annoyed.
âI canât help it, youâre sitting here looking so kissable⌠Hehehe.â
You grabbed his glasses and put them back on his face.
âThe food will get cold. You can continue your attacks after we eat,â he said, letting go of you.
âOh, I intend to.â
That sent a shiver up his spine, but he refrained from saying anything in case you would change your mind and forget about the food entirely. After all, he wanted to enjoy this cute moment of eating dinner with his girlfriend.
Meals finished, cart taken away, you stood up with your arms crossed.
âWell?â
â...well what?â He looked around nervously.
âAre you going to stand up and join me in the bed or are you going to keep editing those pictures you took of the food?â
âA-ahâŚâ He dropped his phone for the second time today.
You picked up the phone and left it on the table, away from him, to then pull him up by his arms.
âThat wasnât a response.â
âIâll join you,â he muttered, avoiding eye contact.
You walked to the bedroom, hand in hand, but you stopped in front of the closet as you remembered the basket.
This time Nero got a good look at it.
âWe-! Weâre not gonna-! We-! Use all of that!?â He pointed at all of the items with a bewildered look.
âCalm down, weâre not. Geez, how freaky does the hotel management think we are?â You said with sarcasm, knowing exactly how much of a freak you were.
Nero seemed in particular distress about the strap on, which you lifted with curiosity but promptly put down. No, you were just looking for the condoms. For now.
âI feel like you should know, well I, Iâm not exactly, um, what I mean is, Iâm⌠A virgin.â
How sweet of him to mention it, as if it wasnât obvious. You held back your snarky comeback, since this was serious for him and you werenât that evil.
âRight. Thatâs okay. You remember the safe word?â
âYes.â
âThen weâre good!â
You took one of the condoms and guided him to the bed, sitting down.
âI also donât⌠I have no idea how to⌠Put one of those on.â
âIâll help you, donât worry,â you were concerned about the lack of sexual education he had received, but that was a different matter entirely.
He looked unsure of what to do next. Kiss you? Start undressing? Jump out of the window from embarrassment?
Those doubts dissipated as you started kissing his neck, his eyes closing in bliss.
âYou left a mark on my neck,â you whispered between kisses, âitâs only fair I return the favor.â
He tilted his head up, grabbing a fistful of your hair, realizing he might be hurting you and letting go, ultimately grabbing again once you bit down. The noise he let out was borderline pornographic.
You sucked and licked the skin, only stopping to admire how it looked before moving on to a different spot and repeating the process.Â
By the time you were done, his neck was covered in hickeys, he was panting, and he was visibly hard. Your hands had stayed on his shoulders the entire time on purpose, but now, as you looked at him look at you, they wandered down to unbutton his shirt.
He tried to avoid your gaze by looking at them, but you were quick to tilt his chin back up.
âUnbutton mine.â
He complied, fumbling with the buttons and taking twice the time you did out of pure nervousness. He was about to lose his virginity with you of all people. Fuck, he was about to lose his virginity period.
You took off the pajamas and discarded them on the floor. Despite having seen you naked not that long ago, it took him a moment to calm down again.
Gently pushing him back, you took off his pants and knelt between his legs.
âIâm gonna show you how to put on a condom but first I wanna do somethingâŚâ
âHm?â
You lowered your head towards his erection and he immediately palmed your forehead to stop you.
âW-wait!â
He retracted his hand, but kept it between you and his dick.
âWhat?â You raised an eyebrow.
âIf- If you do that, I am certain, I am⌠I will c-cum right awayâŚâ
âI still donât see the issue.â
âBut- You- I- Well- We-â He started gesticulating incoherently.
You took the opportunity of his hands being busy to lower your head the rest of the way and lick up his shaft.
âAh!â He threw his head back, then shot you a glare.
The eye contact in that moment was when you decided to put your whole mouth around it, sucking it completely. It was the right choice, as you got a perfect view of his flustered expression.
His hands gripped the sheets, unintelligible sounds falling from his lips.
âMh! NghhâŚâ
You sucked from bottom to tip, dragging your tongue along the veins, making sure to cover all of it with your saliva. Your dominant hand followed just after your lips, while the other fondled his balls.Â
âYou have such a pretty dick, you know,â you kissed the frenulum.
It twitched in your hand, precum already dripping, and Nero grabbed a pillow to cover his face and muffle his moans.
âNo, no, no, câmon,â you pulled it away, âdonât you wanna see the cum all over my face when you finish?â
âWhy do you-, why are you-, Iâm just, I feel like-â
You sucked it fully again, swirling your tongue around it. His stomach trembled in tandem with his heaving breaths.
âAhgh! Mmmff⌠P-please- AhhâŚâ
He was holding back. He was trying so hard not to cum, to impress you, to prove to himself that he could last, that he wouldnât be a mess when he was finally inside you, but sucking up the length while rolling your eyes back and humming was all it took.
Thick ropes of white painted the inside of your mouth, his hips stuttering. Another apologetic string of sentences rang out of him, only a lot more garbled, his head on the mattress and his back arched towards you.
You licked and swallowed all the cum. When you finally pulled back and looked at his state, he refused to make eye contact, but his eyes were fixed on the top of the canopy with suspicious concentration.
You looked up and, ah, of course, a mirror. Your eyes met his and he instantly looked away, moving to lie on his side and bury his face against the mattress.
âNero, are you embarrassed or are you upset? I canât tell.â
âMm mmm,â he answered, words muffled.
You lied down next to him and caressed his cheek. He slowly came out of hiding.
âI didnât understand that. Can you repeat it?â
âThe first,â he repeated with a huff.
âSo, embarrassed. But, did you like it?â
âAre you joking!?â He exclaimed, âI- I mean⌠YesâŚâ
âGreat, because Iâm far from done with you,â you lifted the condom to his flushed face, âwanna be on top?â
He shook his head so hard that his glasses almost fell off.
âListen,â he tried to explain as you got on top of him once more, âIâm still sensitive, a-and I might cum just as fast anyways, so Iâm really sorry in advance for how much of a mess Iâm going to be, I promise Iâm doing my best, if you donât want to do this anymore thatâs fine by me, we can do whatever you want- Aah-,â he shuddered as you slipped the condom on his still hard dick, â...that was easier than I expected- A-as I was saying! If you donât like this, I could e-eat you out instead- MMMGH!â
You sank onto him in a swift move, the full length now buried to the hilt inside your warm cunt. It made you gasp, too. It felt better than any sex toys or past flings you had had.
âWith how fast you talk, I donât doubt that it would be nice, but you made me so wet with all your moaning that I couldnât wait to fuck you properly.â
He mumbled a response, hands grabbing your thighs to keep you still for a moment; it was too much for him to process, and he knew that if you started moving he would-
You rocked your hips, propping yourself with your hands on his chest, and his nails dug into your skin with a broken whimper.
âWait!â
Ignoring him, you did it again. God, he felt good.
âAgh-!â He arched his body, scratching your thighs, which he looked really apologetic about but he couldnât help himself.
âHow mean, you have all this and you want to keep it all to yourselfâŚâ You teased.
âN-no, itâs not that, I swear, u-use me, I-â
At those words, you raised your hips and dropped them sharply, the tip of his dick kissing your cervix. His eyes rolled back, words dying in his throat.
âYou didnât let me, let me f-finish s-speakingâŚ!â He protested.
âSince you wanna talk so much, how about I give you something to do with your mouth?â
You reached up and pushed your fingers inside his mouth, delivering another pointed rock of your hips. Helpless, he began sucking on them.Â
Matter settled, you started to actually move on top of him at a constant rhythm, new red lines appearing on your thighs with each movement. He was so overstimulated that tears started to pool and fall down his cheeks.
The best thing about riding him was that you could deliver a perfect hit to your g-spot every time, although with how thick he was, he mightâve done that anyways if he was on top.Â
You clenched around him and he saw stars, whimpering and moaning between your fingers. Hit after hit, warmth started to spread across your body, growing more and more breathless as the pleasure built, never enough - you needed to step it up.
So you took your hand out of his mouth to keep balance as you fucked yourself on his dick, faster and harder, his pussy-drunk expression only serving to drag you further, moans now spilling from your lips as well.
Nero slowly but surely recovered from the overstimulation, the mattress below him wet with tears. He chased his own pleasure now too, hips jerking up to meet you.
âIâm gonna cum,â you said, having trouble holding yourself up.
âDonât st-oh-op, p-please, p-please, mmhâŚâ
âI- I canât keep, fuck, ah-â
The rope stretched tighter and tighter until it snapped, electricity jolting up your spine. Your body shook and fell on top of Neroâs, spasming with the aftershocks of the orgasm.
âNo! Mh! P-please!â He cried, feeling so close himself but edged since you had stopped, âI need- you- I need to-â
He turned, both of you lying on your sides, his hands keeping your thighs around his waist, and-
With desperate thrusts, he tried to reach the climax he hadnât. He buried his face in your chest, glasses pressing against your skin as he kissed and sucked anywhere his mouth could reach.Â
You grabbed his hair, shaky gasps each time his tongue teased your nipples or his cock reached deep. It was a lot, his pace relentless, but you wanted him to finish, so you let him continue.
âS-sorry, I need to- I want to cum so bad- P-please, Iâm almost there- Nghh-!â
The sweet torture didnât last long - not that you expected it to in the first place, his hips stuttering as he delivered a couple more deep hits. You looked down to see his face as he came. He went cross-eyed. Wow, you wished you had taken a picture.
He stayed with his arms around you for a bit, breathing heavily. You caressed the top of his head.
âCome up, give me a kiss,â you said softly.
He complied, moving his posture to face you. A gentle kiss, just lips, after which you both smiled.
âI really liked that,â you reassured him before he could apologize for anything.
âMe t-too. ButâŚâ
You covered his mouth with your hand.
âAre you about to put yourself down in any way?â
He raised his eyebrows, then shook his head. You moved your hand away.
âI just wanted to say⌠Well, I think itâs a bit unfair that I, uh, I came one more time than you did, soâŚâ
âThe score doesnât always have to be âsettledâ,â you chuckled.
âI! I know that! But still, I want to⌠Y-you said yourself that⌠About me t-talking a lotâŚâ
âYou wanna eat me out that badly, huh.â
He flushed. Somehow he remained easily embarrassed.
âIâm curious to know how you taste.â
Maybe not that embarrassed.
âOpen your mouth and stick out your tongue,â you nodded at him.
Confused, he followed your command. You spit. He closed his mouth, shocked. He acted offended, but you saw his Adamâs apple bob as he swallowed it.
âThatâs how I taste,â you laughed.
âNot- Thatâs not-! You know what I meant!â He huffed, the grip around you getting a little tighter.
âHahaha, okay, okay, just teasing you. By all means, go right ahead. I would never say no to being eaten out.â
With your permission, he released you and pulled out, his dick now soft. He got up to throw away the condom while you positioned yourself on the bed, legs spread for him, pillows stacked under your upper back and head.
He crawled back on the bed and lied down on his stomach, face between your thighs, eyes darting wildly at the display before him. Seeing it was different from feeling it.
âWill you guide me like you did before?â
âYeah, of course. Get a feel for it first, though.â
He nodded and swallowed.
âI didnât expect you⌠To be⌠So wetâŚâ His fingers traced your inner lips.
âI told you before.â
âSure, but- I thought it was an exaggerationâŚâ He licked his finger. No discernible reaction, until he realized you had watched him do that, then he turned redder.
âWhatâs the verdict? Do I taste good?â You smirked.
âA-ah, well- I didnât really- I have to try more.â
âSmooth.â
This time he stuck out his tongue, flat, and licked up from your entrance to your clit. You trembled involuntarily.
âLike that?â He repeated the action.
âY-yes, but, itâs not just that, you arenât a dog-,â you gave him a look, but discarded the thought. Pet play might be too advanced for his first day. âYou have suck, too. You can kiss if you want. Donât bite, unless itâs on the thighs. And donât focus on one specific spot, but every now and then you should definitely hone in on the clitoris,â you paused, âIs that confusing? Did I explain it more or less okay?â
âIâll try to follow what you just said, but correct me if I do anything wrong.â
His arms wrapped around each of your thighs.
âOh, and,â he kissed your clit, âthatâs the clitoris, right?â
âYes,â you smiled proudly at how far heâd come.
That smile faded fast as he dove right in and started sucking and licking like a starved man, running his tongue up and down, your expression morphing as your brow furrowed in pleasure.
His head moved up and down, lips pressing against every part of your cunt, tongue parting your folds. Just like you had told him, he made sure to stop at your clit, suck it and swirl his tongue around it before dragging it away and poking at your entrance, drinking all he could taste.
You bucked your hips towards him, gripping his hair with one hand and the sheets with the other. Your thighs pressed against his cheeks.
âY-you can⌠Hahh⌠If you- Your nose-â
He understood what you meant, rubbing his nose to your clit as he sucked lower. His glasses fogged up at the heat. He took them off and threw them away to get a better angle.
They landed on the carpet, undamaged, but neither of you really cared.
His eyes moved up to you every now and then, though blurry, he tried his best to gauge your reaction, along with the little trembles of your legs. It was getting easier to understand what he had to do.
Still, he had some improvements to do. He pulled away for a moment to catch his breath, lips red and moist, a web of saliva connecting his mouth to your cunt. He licked his lips.
âDonât stop,â you breathed.
âSorry, sorry,â he quickly muttered before diving back in.
This time his movements were faster, his tongue flicking in all the right spots. One of his hands moved up to squeeze your breast, fondling it, small sounds of pleasure vibrating from his mouth to your core.
You grinded your hips back and forth, hissing. Nero was doing something similar against the mattress, his dick probably hard again.Â
He sucked your clit sharply, and you threw your head back with a moan.Â
âFuck⌠YesâŚâ
He did it again.
âMmnn! Nero, Iâm so fucking close- Donât slow down- ah!â
Far from it, he kept up the pace with heavy breaths, the hot air hitting your skin. Your fingers tightened their grip on both his hair and the sheets. Which, if it werenât for the fact that he was neatly licking everything up, would have been stained with your wetness long ago.
âYeah yeah yeah-â Your vision began to cloud as that familiar numbing sensation spread, almost, almost, right there.
Uncontrollable shivers ran along your body, your expression locked in a continuous gasp as you looked up, at the mirror, seeing - more than feeling - Nero kissing your inner thighs and up your stomach.
You slowly came down from the high. By the time he buried his face in your neck, you had regained control of your body and could wrap your arms around him.
âI have my verdict now,â he said with a cocky edge, âyou taste good.â
You chuckled and patted his hair, ruffled from your grabbing and pulling.
âThat means youâll eat me often, then?â
He lost his cockiness, âI-If you want me to.â
You held him for a bit while an idea cooked in your mind. Would he be opposed? He didnât seem very thrilled when he saw the strap onâŚ
âHey, are you up for one more thing? I know you were all about âsettling the scoreâ or whatever, but I want to do something⌠Itâll be the last, I promise. We can go to bed after.â
âUhm⌠Anything and everything you want to do is fine by meâŚâ
âRiiightâŚâ You gently pulled away from his embrace and got up.
As he saw you walk towards the basket, he felt a slight nervousness well up, but he calmed himself by believing you were just going to grab another condom. On the way there, you tossed him his glasses.
His vision now clear, he saw how wrong he was.
You lifted the strap and his face went white.
âYou canât be seriousâŚâ
âI am. You see, you were such a good boy eating me out and you did so well, that I think you deserve a prostate orgasm,â you said with a smile.
âI donât- I donât think I can, Iâm able to⌠IâŚâ
âIf you donât want to, thatâs fine. We wonât! But if youâre just saying ânoâ because itâs a new, weird experience, Iâm asking you to be open minded.â
âHave... Have you done this beforeâŚ?â
âWhat, peg a guy? Yes,â you shrugged.
He shook off the feelings of jealousy to instead focus on the fact that you knew what you were doing.
You picked up the lube - also in the basket - and walked up to the bed to sit next to him.
âLook at it. Your dick is a lot bigger and I can take it no problem.â
He turned red, âWell! Thatâs! I mean!â
To be fair, there were actually more sizes available, this one being the smallest, but you had buried them under the condoms and lube bottles so he wouldnât see. A small mercy from you.
âAre you up for it or not?â
âUhhh⌠Maybe I can, just like, try it for a second,â he avoids your gaze, fidgeting with his hands.
âSure! Of course. If itâs uncomfortable, we stop.â
You pat the bed, âGet on all fours.â
âWhat!? Right away!?â He lowered his head.
â...I mean, what did you expect to happen first?â
âI donât know! Can I get a kiss first.â
You giggled and leaned to kiss him. His hands cupped your face, and you felt him smile into the kiss.
âBetter?â
âI guess.â
âAlright, Iâm going to lube you up. Iâll use my fingers, so donât get scared.â
âYouâre gonna⌠Ah⌠MhmâŚâ
He positioned himself on all fours as you indicated, slightly relieved that at least he didnât have to face you.
You squeezed some lube out on your fingers and took a gander at what you were working with. Okay, he was definitely tense.
âBreathe, Nero. My gosh.â
âRight, right, mhm.â
He wasnât going to calm down much more, it was obvious, so instead of dragging it out, you simply decided to circle your finger around his hole and slowly push it in. No more than an inch deep.
The foreign sensation made his breath hitch.
âAm I hurting you?â
âN-no.â
âDo you want me to stop?â
âNoâŚâ
You pushed your index a bit further, coating his inner walls with the lube. You stopped once you figured you were deep enough.
âThis is what I was talking about,â you warned him, before pressing down right on his prostate.
You saw his hands clutching the sheets as he gasped, then looked back over his shoulder.
âThatâsâŚâ
âFeels good, right?â
âYeahâŚâ
You retracted your finger and picked up the strap on to lube it up as well, coating its black silicone with your hands. Nero watched the whole process with his mouth dry.
âItâs about to feel a lot better than âgoodâ, trust me.â
He nodded noncommittally, but deep down he was very curious after having felt just your finger.
You fastened the strap to your waist and thighs, making sure everything was properly tightened, and turned your attention back to him.
âYou can still say no.â
âNo, I, Iâm okay.â
âAlright.â
You aligned the tip of the dildo with his hole, kneeling behind him. He looked away, heavily in disbelief that somehow this was happening - and worst of all - he was eager for it to happen.
The tip slid in easily thanks to the lube, a soft muffled sound coming from Nero, who now had one of his hands covering his mouth. You pushed a bit deeper, tentatively. Your hands found perch on each side of his waist, the touch causing goosebumps along his skin.
âYouâre doing so well,â you praised.
Another inch. It was almost fully in. His posture was so rigid that he might as well have been a statue.
The final bit disappeared inside him, and you took a moment to let him adjust.
âHow is it? How are you?â
He moved his hand away from his mouth, propping it against the mattress again.
âItâs a lot⌠But⌠It doesnât feel bad, just weird.â
âThatâs good. Can I move?â
âYeahâŚâ
With his permission, you slid it halfway out, and back in. Slowly.
âH-ah-â
One more time.
âMmg-â
Faster.
âOh-â
From tip to base.
âAh!â
Seeing he could take it, you set the pace. In and out, every single hit dragging a new noise out of him.
Your hands on his waist, you began pulling him against you at the same time, lewd noises each time your hips met his ass. His knuckles turned white.
âLook at you, being so good,â you said in a singsongy voice, âarch that back for me.â
He did, whimpering at the way the strap felt in that posture.
âGood boy. Are you enjoying being fucked like this, Nero?â
âY-ye-sssssghâŚâ
He was so far gone, and having done so little, too. It was going to be a delight when you used a bigger strap in the future.
Your thrusts turned harder, opting for impact instead of speed. Broken moans and whimpers fell from his lips. His arms trembled.
âYou look so cute like this,â you leaned forward, wrapping a hand around his neck to make him face you.
He turned to you with half-lidded eyes and a permanent flush. You could practically see the heart-shaped pupils in his eyes, dazed and drunk. He felt like he was about to die from pleasure.
You felt him back up on you since you had stopped moving. You raised an eyebrow.
âWhatâs this, getting greedy?â You smirked.
âPleaseeeâŚâ He whined, voice cracking.
âThat good, huh,â you let go of his neck, âand you were so reluctant before.â
Both hands back on his waist, you rammed yourself inside him. He moaned loudly, but the sound got cut by yet another thrust, his voice carrying on and getting cut off repeatedly as you picked up the pace.Â
Precum dripped on the mattress. You intended to jerk him off at the same time, although it didnât seem necessary, so you focused on hitting his prostate at the right angle.
His arms gave out under him, barely holding himself together as he now lay face down and ass up - drooling.
âHey,â you called out, âlook- at- your- self-â you pointed up with your chin.
His eyes wandered up to the mirror, where he saw the utter mess he was, and how the strap slid in and out of him. The sight made his body tremble. You looked so hot.
âIâm gunn- gonna- aah⌠mmmh⌠going to- nngh! C-cumâŚâ
âYeah? Show- me. Cum- for- me,â you punctuated your words with thrusts.
He babbled incoherently, his legs shaking. His sounds got louder and louder, until he started pleading in broken syllables, and then- release.
Spurts of cum shot on the bed, his face buried against the mattress as he bit the sheets.
You moved for a bit longer to let him ride it out. When the whimpering turned into heaving gasps, you stopped. Gently, you pulled the strap out.
He collapsed on his side, fully spent.
âVery good. You did such a good job,â you leaned over and kissed his cheek.
He mumbled a reply.
You took off the strap and attempted to clean as much of the mess as you could. At that point it was better to change the sheets entirely, you realized.
Well, you werenât a Hunter for nothing. You scooped Nero up bridal style and let him down gently on a chair while you changed the bed. He was flustered by the action, but not in the right state to complain.
After changing the sheets - there was a spare set in the closet - you went to the bathroom to grab a damp towel. You cleaned yourself first, then sat down next to Nero and helped him.
âThanksâŚâ Was all he could say.
You scooped him back up and laid him down on the bed before climbing in yourself.
âWant some water? Or anything?â
âNo⌠I want⌠Sleep and cuddlesâŚâ
You chuckled, âwe can absolutely do that.â
You turned off the lights and cozied up to him, gently taking his glasses and putting them on the nightstand. His arms wrapped around your waist, face buried in the crook of your neck.
The skin-to-skin contact, once arousing, now soothing, helped him drift off quite fast. You didnât take much longer, sleep taking you in minutes.
An alarm woke you up the next morning. A song from the Super Hunters show. Neroâs alarm.
âMmmh⌠Oh, noâŚâ He got up, untangling himself from your warm embrace and running to turn it off.
You stirred, rubbing your eyes. Opening them, you saw him standing next to the bed, looking down at you.
âHm? WhatâŚ?â You said in a sleepy voice.
He chuckled and climbed back in, hugging you.
âNothing. I just think my girlfriend looks very cute when sheâs sleepy,â his voice was a little deeper in the morning.
You could already tell he was going to be the type of guy that showed off his girlfriend a lot. It made you smile, really.
âI think my boyfriend should have turned off his alarms,â you countered, poking his cheek.
âIâm so sorry,â he kissed right below your ear, âI forgot we were sleeping here together instead of being alone back home, and it slipped my mind.â
âOooh, right, because we would have to drive all the way back from Linkon to WandererConâŚâ
âYeahâŚâ
âDo you have a lot planned for today?â You caressed his cheek, which he leaned into.
âI⌠I had plans⌠But⌠UhâŚâ His usual blush tinted his face.
âBut?â
âWe⌠The documents said we⌠Uhm, so, the room⌠Is booked until 5PM today⌠And I donât feel like going to the convention todayâŚâ
Unbelievable. He wanted to spend the day here with you rather than gushing about Wanderers? Was he sick?
You blinked at him. He was a bit confused about your shocked reaction.
âOr, do you want to go?â
âNo. No. I want to stay, Iâm just surprised you want to stay. Are you sure? It only happens once a year, and Iâm still going to be your girlfriend tomorrow.â
You knew this was important for him, so you wanted to make sure he knew what he was doing.
âYes, Iâm sure. Wanderers are still going to exist tomorrow, and I have you here now. It would be a waste not to enjoy your company.â
He kissed you, and kissed you, deep and loving, over and over.
âHow was the weekend?â Asked Tara when you arrived at work.
âOh shit, I forgot to buy you something,â you palmed your forehead, âIâll treat you to dessert for the rest of the week,â you sat on your office chair.
âHahaha, itâs okay, but Iâll take you up on that offer,â she clapped giddily.
She rolled her chair closer.
âIt must have been really interesting to attend, if you forgot about it. Was it cool?â
Just then, Nero arrived at the office. He walked up to your desk and placed a cup of coffee with a shy smile.
âGood morning, Tara!â He greeted, walking to his desk.
Tara scrunched up her brows in shock and leaned to whisper to you.
âTell me whatâs going on. Has reality been altered? I didnât see this in my cardsâŚâ
âUhm⌠Letâs just say⌠It was a busy weekend.â
Thank you for reading! Here's a little meme:
#(happy bday to me)#(all dividers made by me)#loveanddeepspace#love and deepspace#love and deepspace smut#lads#lnds#nero#nero love and deepspace#nero lads#nero lnds#love and deepspace nero#lads nero#lnds nero#nero x reader#reader x nero#x reader#smut
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week of november 24th, 2024
these are written predominantly for the *rising* signs but they are also intuitively "channeled" enough that they should work for any dominant energy you have! (try your sun if you don't know rising, or more advanced readers can try moon, anywhere you have a stellium, etc and see what works best for you!)
aries: this week's activity centers primarily around your 9th house; it is a great time to go (back?) to school, make philosophical or religious (re?)considerations, and plan for distant travel, although i would hold off until after mercury is direct again to actually buy any tickets or such.
taurus: while the energy is rather fiery at this time it is not so much a time for action as it is for passionate planning. any shared resources should be handled with caution and new ones - debts, loans, stocks, properties? - should not be added on or altered significantly for a while. on the other hand it's a pretty sweet time in intimate relationships, or for occult practices.
gemini: jupiter is still in your sign of course so nothing is going to go TERRIBLY awry, but be watchful for relationship turbulence. things may seem to go backwards and new things (issues, questions, or excitements) will pop up towards the end of the week too.
cancerians: a new moon this week puts you in a phase of intention-setting - but not quite action on those intentions yet - and ideally these plans and intentions are set around your routines and bodily wellness. if things don't seem to take off immediately, they're not supposed to. play a long game.
leo: fire vibes suit you very well and no retrograde can really slow you down when it comes to that. the new moon at the end of the week can be a bit emotionally heavy but really, even that is in sagittarius and makes a good indicator that you should be having a good fun time. a new romance may also spark.
virgo: sure, if you're a more mercurial virgo a mercury retrograde should never be discounted. but consider that you might be more heavily influenced by ceres, who this week sextiles neptune in your 7th house. this is good for romance, so you can have a lot of fun with this, although bear in mind that the vibes are not extremely great for turning romance into responsible commitments.
libra: don't let anyone scare you about mercury retrograde stuff this week. do be careful, of course, with messages, emails, and especially your vehicle if you have one, but all in all this is a pretty auspicious week for you, especially if you go a little bit out of your way to experience/learn some history of your local community and connect to the land you are on.
scorpio: while all mercury retrograde protocols always apply, this time around be cautious about your spending, finances, and values broadly speaking. it won't hurt to reconsider what really matters most to you in life, and what wealth is other than money.
sagittarius: if you're uncomfortable with the spotlight i have bad news for you. so much is happening in your sign that you can't help but be a focus. granted, you may not be under as much scrutiny as it feels. still, best to act with integrity and not get caught in any dishonesty or sordid affairs. a new moon in your sign at the end of the week is actually great for your sense of identity, your self concept, and your first impressions - so use that to your advantage.
capricorn: huge amounts of activity occur in sagittarius all week - likely your 12th house. keep a cool head. no addictive behavior if possible and no substance abuse, or, preferably even use if it can be managed. no flying off the handle or trying to escape the hard reality of what is. i'm preaching to the choir here, likely, but reality only improves for you if you handle it. no sweeping it under the rug.
aquarius: friendships fade in and out of your life over time, and sometimes back in again. retrogrades, starting with mercury this week, can create the illusion that you have lost some social connections you'd rather keep. but it really is an illusion; either that or that person was really not good for you in some way and it is a blessing they have retreated.
pisces: if you were planning to make any big career moves consider them hibernating or in torpor. it's temporary but it's a slowdown. delays will turn out to favor you, so don't despair. it's good for now to lie low and stay out of the public eye; a mysterious air about you will also benefit you.
watch the transit posts in real time to have the best guide through your week. want a little more? have a look at my patreon or ko-fi.
check out my etsy for a private reading or dm me to set up a reading through venmo, cashapp, or paypal.
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Where MC Tells the Obey Me Brothers About How Horribly They Were Treated in Twisted Wonderland
This was requested by @sweetlicorice I hope you like it! It was taking longer than expected, so I only did the brothers, but I will do the dateables in a part 2, don't worry.
TW: Talk of being Overworked and Burnt Out, Abuse of Power, Very Angry Demons (but not at you), mental breakdowns, missing a pet (he's not dead, don't worry), and nightmares
Reader is referred to as MC by the characters (though I don't think they say it here) and MC is gender neutral, but this is mostly in second person, so for the majority of the story you'll be referred to as 'You' by the narrator.
Characters include: Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Asmodeus, Satan, Beelzebub, and Belphegor
Could be read as romantic or platonic
This will be long, so the stories under the cut
This is organized by character, with a bit of context at the beginning. Enjoy!
First, it was a coffin. You were kidnapped by a horse-drawn hearse, woke up in a coffin, in another world. A world of magic, and wonder, but also one of pain, as you quickly learned. But you met people. You made friends, allies, and you were learning, even if you couldn't use magic.
And then, it was you landing rather harshly in a room that looked like an old-time, very fancy courtroom, surrounding by tall and intimidating looking young men. It was soon explained to you that you were in the Devildom, and were an exchange student, one that would be living with the Seven Deadly Sins for your own protection.
You didn't know what to feel. Gratitude for the much improved living conditions? Fear for living with a bunch of demons and going to school with demons that would likely have no qualms with snapping you in two if you stepped out of line? Sadness for the friends that you don't know how to get back to? Upset for being forced to leave the place you were finally starting to feel like you fit in at and having to leave Grim? It was a whirlwind inside, and for a time, that's where it stayed. Kept inside.
Slowly, the Devildom revealed to have similar problems as Twisted Wonderland, in the fact that it seems everyone in power here, aside from Diavolo and Barbatos, would like you to die.
Most of the brothers tried to kill you. One of them succeeded! Congrats to them you guess, though, no offense to Belphie, you don't think it was particularly hard for a demon to kill a human.
Through all of this, you got closer to those you were staying with, even forgiving Belphegor after everything. It only made sense that eventually, what happened to you, you started to open up to them about your past. About those that you met and bonded with, all that had been put onto you, and all that was different.
Lucifer:
You were in his office, as you did somewhat often. It was quieter in there than it was in most of the house, and no one would bother you if you were with him. Plus, sometimes he would let you take care of some of his paperwork, just the stuff that wasn't too sensitive or important, but it lightened his load a bit.
"Why do you insist upon helping me?" He asked, not looking up from his paper, as you looked at your own.
"I'm used to doing more work, and if it makes your job easier, then I don't mind." You shrugged.
"More work? Do you mean like a job?" He asked, somewhat curious. Your file had listed a lot, but you had, apparently, been missing for a while when you were brought to the Devildom, so he didn't know what you had been doing before coming there.
"Something like that." You vaguely answered, finishing a paper.
"I am always here if you need to talk." He glanced up at you, as you pulled out your homework instead.
"Thank you."
A comfortable silence fell over the you two. The ambiance of the fireplace, paired with the low volume on the record he was playing, along with the light scratching of his pen, was calming. His office was always dimly lit, enough to see easily, but also darker than the average room.
It was a quiet environment that reminded you of the days when you would sit in the office of Crewel, him taking pity on the amount of work shoved on you and attempting to help at least a little. Or the days when you would study with Ace and Deuce in the Heartslabyul Common Room, Riddle sitting nearby doing his own paperwork, and Grim resting lazily along your shoulders. It was comforting, yet sad, at the same time.
"Back, in the place where I was," you started softly after a few moments of silence, "there was more that was required of me."
"In what way?" He asked, and though you couldn't tell, off in your own world, he had stopped doing his paperwork to focus on what you were saying, fully enraptured in wanting to know your backstory.
"The headmaster, at my last school, his name was Dire Crowley. And he was terrible at his job." You laughed bitterly. "I showed up there one day, against my will, and practically started running the place once he thought I could handle it, or when he was certain I wouldn't complain." You glared at your paper, thinking back on all that was unfairly thrown at you.
"Like what?"
"Paperwork, was the majority." You answered without thinking. "But there were.... others."
"Others?" He prompted after a few moments of a now, much tenser, silence.
"Your demon form is scary." You looked at him, making eye contact. "But it is not as scary as facing seven Overblots within the span of a year."
"Overblots?"
"The manifestation of out of control magic and strong negative emotions that result in the transformation of the magic user, and the creation of a sort of monster. The magic user loses control of their entire being, and it's very taxing on the magic user." Your eyes were glazed over as you seemed to recite the information with no emotion in your voice. "I don't blame them, for Overblotting, and losing control, the world is cruel. I do blame Dire Crowley, however, for making me responsible for dealing with them."
"That sounds dangerous, for someone without magic."
"It was." You agreed, still looking towards him.
Not at him, but through him, as if you weren't registering how much you were saying. This made him all the more concerned, as he got up and walked over to you, sitting beside you.
"I was also responsible for whatever Dire Crowley wanted me to do. Feed the fireplaces over winter break, find out why our sports players are getting injured, stop that one student from taking over the student body, house these people for this inter-school competition, and on, and on." You listed, beginning to spiral. "I practically ran that school. Me! A magicless human who had no idea what they were doing or where they were or how to handle what was happening to me. He stuck me in a shack, filled with mildew, and mold, that was covered in dust, infested with ghosts, and falling apart at the seams with a fire-breathing cat. And he didn't even make me a student at first!" You looked at Lucifer, tears pricking your eyes. "I was a janitor! And when another student got myself, Grim, and another student in trouble, he was going to throw me out! Onto the streets with no understanding of the world, how it functions, or anything at all!"
Lucifer nodded, trying to get you to calm down silently, wanting to hear about your past, even though it was painful.
"And he'd threaten me, Lucifer! He'd threaten my housing, my food budget, and I had no means of income! I couldn't pay for myself in any regard, I was completely dependent on him! I was his little puppet. The puppet of the 'oh so gracious Dire Crowley'." You began to sob as emotions started to overcome you, them all spilling out as you finally let yourself feel safe enough to feel these emotions. "I was so scared! About what would happen to me, and my friends. I didn't know what the next day would bring."
He brought you into his chest, hugging you tightly, and allowing your tears to stain his red vest. He let you sob and weep as you finally allowed yourself to process the emotions you'd been keeping inside this whole time. He kept his breathing even, trying to get you to match it subconsciously, and he gently rocked you, trying to calm you down as best he could.
"I miss Grim!" You cried out, into his chest. "I miss him so much that it hurts. I feel so anxious without him around."
He didn't ask who Grim was, but he knew it was someone important. He'd ask you about it when you were calmer, for now, he'd just let you cry to your hearts content. It had been a long time since someone had come to him, and allowed him to see them crying, but he didn't mind it so much when it was you. He took pride in being someone you felt safe enough to cry around.
No more paperwork got done that night, but he didn't care. You were more important at that point in time, and Diavolo would understand, he assured you of this, when you tried to apologize for taking up his time and crying on him. He brought up that Diavolo would be more mad if he hadn't comforted you, which made you laugh. You were so tired from crying that not long after you calmed down, you drifted off in Lucifer's arms, on the couch in his office.
Mammon:Â
You were hanging out in Mammon's room one night, trying to help him study. Mammon was a lot smarter than a lot of people gave him credit for, the main issue you were having was the effort in which he was putting in. Which was zero. He was much more interested in his video game than his homework, despite the fact that Lucifer had threatened to string him up from the ceiling should he not get a satisfactory grade.
It was almost nice, how familiar this felt. The arguing with him about studying gave you a nostalgic feeling, for when you would study with your First Year friend group, and you would try to pry Ace away from his video games. It was never effective, much like now, but the nostalgia made you keep trying to convince him.
Mammon himself didn't seem to notice the effect this was having on you, too focused on his video game. Not that you cared, better for him to remain oblivious that try to pry your secrets out of you.
You sighed, closing the textbooks that you had brought in, accepting the fate of his grade, and making a mental note to find a spot to at least try to hide him from Lucifer. You watched as he played the game for just a few more minutes before you crawled over, sitting beside him as he played, watching the screen.
"Why're ya so good at homework in the Devildom anyway?" He asked, in the blunt way he normally does.
"Diavolo adjusted my curriculum because I don't know much about the Devildom, so I get assignments that are easier." You admitted, leaning against him, your head resting on his shoulder. "I appreciate it, my last headmaster wasn't nearly so accommodating." You mumbled bitterly, thinking back on that incompetent headmaster.
"Really? How's that?" He asked, only half-paying attention, as he spam-clicked the button on the controller to his video game.
"Eh, don't think too much about it. Crowley was stupid, and though he claims he was gracious, he was really anything but. At least to me."
"What's 'at supposed to mean?" He asked before exclaiming nonsensical, frustrated sounds at his loss in the video game.
"I was basically his Barbatos, but I wasn't paid. Hell," You laughed mirthfully, "what money I was supposed to get was threatened, actually. More than once."
"Really?"
His attention was still diverted, and you noticed this. He was likely only wanting to hear your voice for background noise while he played, but you didn't mind so much. At least now you can say you told someone. Even if he wasn't listening.
"Yeah, Crowley threatened my food and housing budget more than once. And he'd push all his work onto me, even though I really shouldn't have had that much responsibility put on me. After all, I was someone without magic in a magic-teaching school, from another world. I didn't know anything." You shrugged lightly, trying not to move Mammon's arm too much, because your head was still resting on his shoulder. "I can't say I miss that part of it."
"What do ya miss then?" He asked, eyes still glued to the screen.
"My friends. I had a group of friends that were pretty tight-knit. Trauma bonded, more like it." You laughed. "And Grim. I miss Grim."
"Grim?"
"My cat."
"Ya sound like Satan."
"Grim was a special cat. He could use magic, and fly, and talk. You remind me of him sometimes." At that he finally paused the game to look at you.
"I, remind ya of... a cat?" He asked incredulously.
"Yeah." You smiled, laughing lightly. "He was sarcastic, and demanding, and greedy. He called me Henchman, you call me Human." He rolled his eyes. "But underneath your... bravado, is a very nice person, who cares a lot. Grim and I... we only had each other. So it just makes sense that we bonded. I miss him, a lot. He used to sleep in my bed, and he'd always be there with me. I've been having trouble sleeping without him. It just feels like there's something missing." You admitted in a soft and sad tone. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders.
"I'll be yer Grim 'til we can convince Diavolo or Barbatos, or maybe Solomon to get yer cat." He said quietly, rubbing your upper arm. "Ya can sleep in here whenever ya need, ok?" You nodded. "Wanna watch a movie?" You smiled at him, nodding once more, as he turned the TV to one of the bajillion streaming services the family all pay for, because they share, and arguing with you about the best movie to watch.
Leviathan:
Leviathan was out in public with you, having gone to an anime themed event at a cafe in the Devildom. He was so excited, that you just couldn't resist when he asked if you wanted to go with. It was nice to hear him rant and ramble about all the things that he was passionate about.
"There's a cat in the anime that waitress is from! And he's super cool!" Levi started. "He can fly, and talk, and use magic. He's also very stubborn, like a donkey. But he's a favorite in the fandom because of how cute he is."
"I know someone like that." You mumbled without thinking, your mind wandering to your feline friend.
"You do?!" He asked excitedly.
"Yeah." You smiled. "His name was Grim, and he used to live with me, back in the time before."
"Really? Tell me more!"
"He wasn't super smart, or very hard working. He used to call me Henchman, and demand cans of tuna. But when it came down to it, Grim was the one I could rely on the most. But, that might also be because we literally couldn't leave each other." You told him.
"You couldn't?"
"No. I don't have magic, and he did. I'm human, he was a cat. The headmaster of my last school decided to be 'oh so gracious'," you quoted, making air quotes around his catchphrase, "and make the two of us one singular student, allowing us to attend his magic school."
"That seems... dumb. To say the least."
"It was." You deadpanned, before the both of you laughed. "He was a bad headmaster. Towards the end of my stay there, I was practically headmaster, just because of how much work he pushed onto me because he could. But while I was at that school I made friends. And I had Grim. Even if the situation I was in was less than ideal." You smiled as the waitress delivered the food you ordered, with a bundle of silverware.
"Ah. I bet you'd prefer them to an otaku like me."
"Not true!" You defended, pointing your fork at Leviathan. "I like you plenty fine, Levi. You actually remind me a lot of my friend Idia. But," you laughed awkwardly, "at least you leave the house sometimes, and aren't afraid of confrontation. Or, at least, you're not afraid to confront some people. Like your brothers." You set your fork down, stopping your silent threat at Levi, that wasn't actually very threatening to him.
"He was an otaku too?"
"Yes indeed, and a master gamer to boot."
"Better than me?"
"It's hard to say." You shrugged. "The games you guys play are similar, but different. It's not a fair comparison." He seemed placated by this answer. "Your brothers remind me of a lot of my friends from there." You said vaguely.
"Do you miss them?"
"Yeah. They're my friends, of course I miss them. And it's not like I know if and when I'll be able to see them again." You explained gently. "I don't miss the work though. Diavolo was nice and assigned me a tutor and easier assignments until I get the hang of the normal work here. And no one makes me do any extra work, or threatens my food or housing. Well, Lucifer threatens punishments sometimes, but he would never threaten my food or housing, and I won't get punished as long as I do my best and behave." You rambled, smiling at how nice it was here, compared to it was in Twisted Wonderland. "Plus, I have all of you, and Diavolo, and Barbatos, and the other exchange students. I miss my friends from there, and I really wish that I had Grim here with me. But I am happy here." You beamed.
"Maybe if we ask Lucifer, he may know how to get your cat." Leviathan suggested, smiling lightly.
"I would love that. He acts like Mammon, but he feels like an emotional support cat. And, I bet Satan would seriously love having him here too."
"You know, we're all here. If you want to talk."
"I know." You glanced around. "What anime is that cosplay from?" You asked, gesturing at another waitress, changing the subject.
He glanced, and started beaming, immediately launching into a rant about the anime it's from, and the character themself. It was nice that he didn't question the change in subject. You'd tell Levi and the others all about what happened to you, and about what Twisted Wonderland was like. Eventually. Maybe.
Asmodeus:
Saying Asmo was flirty, was an understatement. Possibly the understatement of the century. And while he flirted and charmed nearly every being in existence, he did understand consent, and took every no at face value, stopping when asked. Of course, it's a rejection, so at the beginning you had to explain that no, you're not rejecting him as a person, you like him plenty fine as a person, you just don't always want to be flirted with.
He still did it, but when you asked him to stop he'd make a show of whining about it, but stopping nonetheless. It was annoying, but he did take your 'no' seriously, so in the end it was kind of worth it. Asmo was good for conversation, and he knew all the gossip, so he was nice to hang out with.
You had mentioned a handful of times that he reminded you of someone where you were from where you used to live. But all he ever said in response was that there was no one like him. Which is true, as no one else could truly embody Lust like Asmodeus does.
He was doing a skincare night with you, when you brought it up again.
"You know a lot about skincare already, it's quite impressive." He complimented.
"Yeah, had a friend who took it very seriously." You agreed.
"Is this the same friend that I remind you of?"
"Tis." You smiled, gently rubbing the moisturizer onto his face. "He was an interesting man."
"Interesting man? Interesting how?"
"He was insanely hard working, yet it seemed no one saw that." You started, taking a deep breath. "He was an actor, and social media influencer. And he was talented. Extremely talented. He worked hard to get where he was, but he had the means to get there."
"Anything else I should know about this person?"
"Well, he was good at potions. And like, just as good if not better than Satan and Solomon, good. He had the harshest study routine, but it was worth it. Never failed a potions class if he was tutoring me. He didn't have much time to do so, but I was always grateful when he did." You thought back on the memories fondly, smiling, as you stopped rubbing the moisturizer into his skin, and moving onto the next step. "His methods were.... intense, to say the least." Your smile became strained, remembering the VDC. "But, they got the results he wanted, so I guess he didn't see much issue with it."
"Intense in what way?" Asmo asked, noting your tenseness.
"I was appointed manager for a dance team, an interschool competition thing, you know how competitive people can get." You shook your head lightly. "They all came to live in my dorm because it was mostly empty. But, despite me being manager, he decided I needed to follow the same diet as everyone else. My friends said it was a 'we're all in this together' thing, but I thought he was just being unreasonable. I mean, come on, hexing my food? That's just wasteful. And he didn't even pay me back. I didn't get much money for food in general, because I was the magicless student, and there he went, just wasting what I had." You laughed mirthfully, remembering your anger at the situation, and your frustration.
"Well, in his defense, if he was just looking out for you."
"I would have no problems if that were the case, Azzy." You slightly chastised, but it was playful, and held no real bite. "I took your diet in stride, didn't I?" He nodded in acknowledgement. "I would've been fine with it, if that were the case. But he never paid me back for the food that he hexed, or replaced it. I didn't have much, so no one being able to eat those foods, it was wasteful. I mean, it's not like I got much money, if any, from the school for dorm food, like every other dorm."
"Why wouldn't you?"
"I was the magicless student. The errand person. The pushover. The unpaid therapist or headmaster. Depends on the day." You sighed. "The headmaster didn't want to have to rewrite the budget to factor in an extra dorm, when it only had two students in it, that really only amounted to one student."
"Wait, I thought you've mentioned before that you had a roommate."
"I lived with a fire-breathing, flying, talking cat named Grim, who could use magic, and several ghosts. I say technically one student, because the ghosts were faculty members, technically, but Grim had magic, and I didn't, but I was human and Grim was a cat. So, when I popped out of the woodwork, with no magic, no identification, no way to go home, and no clue about how this world worked, the headmaster was 'oh so gracious'," you mocked, "and put us both in a run down dorm, enrolled as a single student."
"Run down?"
"I mean Run Down. It was called Ramshackle, by other students, and it certainly lived up to it's name. The heater didn't work, I had to curl up with Grimm under every blanket I could find in that house. It was caked in mold and mildew, and dust, until Crowley cleaned it for the VDC. I injured myself more than once." You pointed to a scar on your forearm, where you'd hurt yourself in an attempt to fix up your dorm. "I am, honestly, very grateful, for the opportunity to stay here, in much better conditions. I do miss my friends, and I miss Grim." You admitted.
"Is that why you named that stuffed animal Grim? I thought you were just taking after Mammon in your greed."
"I miss Grim." You stated simply. "He was always with me. We were inseparable. We fought, we bickered, but at the end of the day, I knew if there was one thing, one being, I could rely on consistently, it was Grim. He was my ride-or-die. I named my stuffed animal after him, because I have a hard time sleeping without him. Even just, relaxing, can be hard. I miss him, and I don't know if he's ok. I genuinely, worry about him. And I miss him so much, that it's hard to fully put into words."
"I'm sorry." He offered, and you just smiled at him.
There was not much more Asmodeus could say. He couldn't provide you the comfort that you craved, as he was not your cat, nor could he get you your cat. So, he extended his sympathies, and access to his bed whenever you would like. For cuddles, or for more, he was always down for whatever.
He only hoped that his efforts to be there, and open for you, helped to heal you a little bit in the long run.
Satan:
Satan was nice to be around. He was curious, and he liked to know things and ask questions, so he did tend to pry into your past. But he was always good for book recommendations, and was always happy to discuss any book you wanted.
You found comfort in his fondness for cats, finding a kindred spirit in that regard. You didn't tell him about Grim, not wanting to get his hopes up about maybe meeting your beloved companion. He did notice your love of cats though, and had gotten you a giant cat plushie, as a gift.
You had named it Grim, and it lived on your bed. It was much quieter, and honestly, a bit boring compared to the real thing, but it was good for cuddling in the night when you couldn't sleep because you missed your furry friend. You were grateful that Satan had brought you just a bit of comfort in those moments, even if he didn't know it.
"I had a cat." You started one day when he started reading off cat facts enthusiastically after you had expressed the slightest bit of interest. "He was a rather interesting thing."
"Really? What was he like?" Satan liked to hear you talk about your past in general, but he was especially excited to hear about your cat.
"His name was Grim. And he was big, like 2 feet tall. He had a very distinct look about him. Grey fur, with a white chest," Satan nodded, listening intently, "bright, big, blue eyes. So round they almost looked scary sometimes. His ears, they had blue fire coming out of them, and his tail was shaped like a pitchfork. And he could use magic! He could breathe fire, and fly, effortlessly. He could talk too. Used to talk my ear off." You smiled fondly, happy to be able to talk about your favorite creature. "He'd call me Henchman, or Hench Human. He was a trouble maker. Mammon reminds me of him that way."
"Oh." Satan almost groaned.
"But much like Mammon, at the end of the day, push comes to shove, you can rely on him. That was one of the few things I knew for certain back then. Grim was the only one I could fully rely on. I had other friends, but Grim and I, we were inseparable. He was my best friend. He used to sleep in my bed with me, every night. I'm so used to it, it's honestly.... kind of hard to sleep without him." You admitted, laughing tiredly. "I miss Grim."
"Were you allowed pets, or familiars, at your last school?"
"No. No, I don't think we were." You answered after a moment of thought. "But Grim was a special case. He and I crashed the entrance ceremony. I wasn't supposed to be there, and got yoinked out of another world, but he was just straight up trespassing because he wanted so badly to go to that school, and become a great mage." You laughed at the memory. "He committed arson, I helped calm him down, and the rest is history. We weren't students, originally. We were janitors. The Headmaster only let us stay because I didn't have anywhere else to go, and I proved that Grim could be helpful."
"I thought you said you were a student?"
"I was. Half. I was half of a student." You smiled, taking a tired, yet fond, sigh. "I didn't have magic. But Grim did. So, Crowley determined that we would each be half of a student. He got us both into so much trouble, but he always helped me get out of it. I could always rely on Grim. Except in schoolwork," you admitted, laughing a little, "I was alone in that portion."
A million questions ran through his head, and you could tell the gears were turning. It was almost amusing, seeing him trying to decide on what topic to pick. Should he keep going about your cat? Pry about your headmaster? Ask about your clearly troubled past at this school?
He was quiet, but it wasn't tense, or awkward, just comfortable silence, as you patiently awaited his next question. You knew Satan would choose his words carefully, so as to not make you uncomfortable, so you had no fears. You really didn't want him to ask about Grim's homework habits though. Satan prioritized intelligence, and knowledge. You wanted him to have a good impression of Grim, since you thought the two would get along, despite Grim being similar to his older brother, Mammon.
It took him a few moments, you, peacefully sipping your favorite hot drink, as you waited patiently, reading your book, before he finally picked a topic.
"Was your headmaster, truly that bad?" He asked softly.
"His favorite trick to get me to do what he wanted, when I didn't want to, was to threaten me. My food budget, my housing budget, or even my security at the school. I had others I could rely on, should this happen. The other Housewardens tended to take pity on me when I would show up, practically begging for food, because Crowley wouldn't allow me to have any. They were good people. But I always made sure Grim had stuff to eat. I never let him suffer. He actually learned to share through this. But, a diet of tuna sandwiches, just isn't that good for your health. It was better than nothing though." You shrugged, not looking up from your book. You looked up, to see him looking at you, sadness painting his eyes. "I'm doing better now, Satan." You smiled.
"I don't want to pry, but I do have more questions." You took a deep breath.
"Can I answer them later?" You asked, to which he nodded.
"Take your time."
"Can you do me a favor?"
"Of course."
"Can you look through your books, to see if there's a spell, or an incantation, or a potion, or a ritual, that will help me get Grim? I'm worried about him, and, as you can see," you gestured to your eyebags, which Asmo had tried to hide using makeup, but it was late, so they were started to peek through, "being without him takes a toll. He's like my emotional support cat, you know? My sassy, lazy, loud, annoying, emotional support cat, that I love. And I miss."
"I'll see what I can do." He nodded. "No promises, but I'll look into it."
"That's all I ask." You smiled tiredly.
Beelzebub:
Beelzebub had eaten the majority of the fridge again, and it was your turn to make dinner. You sighed, as he looked at you guiltily. It was getting too close to when you absolutely needed to start cooking so you could serve dinner on time, so you couldn't go shopping for more. You just shook your head, and got to work taking everything out of the fridge and pantry, just to see what was left.
"I'm sorry." Beel offered. "I'll help you cook."
"I've done more with less." You said, not registering his offer, and looking over the ingredients that were left, as you had caught him before he could eat everything. "I just need some time."
"I didn't leave you much. I could go to the store, and get some more." He offered.
"Beel," You looked at him, smiling in amusement. "How much of what you get me would you eat on the way home?" He looked down guiltily once more. "I'm not mad," you assured, "really, I'm not. And I appreciate your offer of help. But I've got this." You smiled once more, before turning back to the ingredients, and picking up a few.
With what little you had, you'd started to make a large delicious meal. Beelzebub watched, in what could only be described as awe, as you stretched what you had into enough to feed the brothers, and something that tasted good. He still felt guilty about eating the majority of what you could've used to make dinner, but he was grateful you weren't mad, and he was curious as to how you knew how to make so little go so far.
After you served the brothers, you kept a little for yourself, and Beelzebub noticed. He noticed that you didn't take much, and when he tried to comment on it, you just winked at him, smiling. After dinner, he was designated for clean up, and you went into the kitchen to keep him company, as he had while you were cooking.
"How did you do that? There wasn't much left, but that was a good meal."
"My last school.... I didn't have much." You started vaguely. "My food budget was small, and often taken away, so I would take what little I was able to beg or barter for from the shop keeper, or the other Housewardens, or my friends, and I'd make it stretch. It helped that they often had some leftovers, especially Scarabia, with their feasts every week. And Jamil was a fabulous cook." You complimented, your mouth watering at the thought of his delicious and carefully prepared food. "But I digress. What I'd do is, I'd prepare meals in advance, as many as I could. I had to. Starvation sounded rather unpleasant, to me."
"It was that bad?"
"Not if I planned correctly." You smiled.
Beelzebub related to the feeling of hunger, and starvation. He was often brushed aside as always hungry because he's the Avatar of Gluttony. But the pain was always there, and it was hard to describe the pain aside from, hungry. You were always patient with him, even if he got grumpy because of his hunger, and now he was starting to see why.
If you understood the feeling of being hungry all the time, and starving to a painful point, it makes sense that you'd not get mad at him. It makes sense to him, that you'd be patient with him. He had always appreciated your patience and kindness, but he had never questioned it. Now he was starting to think he should've.
"Was it just you?"
"No. I had a cat with me. His name was Grim, and he was a lot like Mammon." You described cheerfully. "He mostly ate cans of tuna, which I could get for cheap at the school shop, they weren't super popular, and students tended to leave them at the shop after realizing they were the cheapest option of food I had." You laughed awkwardly. "It was a school of ruffians, and bullies, and people who hated me. But they had the decency to not want me to starve to death."
"You were hated?"
"By some. I wasn't popular, but I had my fair share of friends, don't worry." You assured. "I had the first years friend group, and the Housewardens, and the vice-housewardens and honorary vicehousewardens. Even a lot of the teachers liked me. And even if they didn't, I still had Grim. He was my best friend."
"Was?"
"He's still there, so he still is. We're just not together right now. It's like... it's like a part of me is missing, because he's my best friend." You tried. "And he's still there, but I can't see him, and I can't talk to him. I miss him, a lot. I think you'd like him." You smiled. "He used to sleep on my bed, every night. And he'd complain, and whine, and get both of us into trouble, but he was loyal to a fault, and he was always there when I needed him."
"Was your old headmaster that bad?"
"Oh yeah." You nodded enthusiastically. "He went on vacation so often, and it was more like I was the headmaster towards the end of my time there. What with the amount of paperwork and such I was handling in his stead. On top of schoolwork! And he put me in an old decrepit house, with a fire breathing cat. Granted, I asked for the cat to remain with me, but still. I'm sure he could've found somewhere else to put me."
"That sounds awful."
"It could be. But hey, think of it this way, now I'm prepared if you do this again." You teased. He nodded. "Don't feel too bad, Beel. You didn't even know I existed, you couldn't have done anything."
"I wish you would've told us."
"It's not easy to talk about." You admitted. "It's not like... I had the best experience with a lot of people there. I mean, Overblots, burnout, hunger, on top of basically being an unpaid therapist, an unpaid headmaster, and a full-time student? I was busy, and not every experience is a pleasant one. But it's a part of my life, and I wouldn't change it for anything. Because it was my experience." You explained. He nodded in understanding. "I think you'd like the people I met before. So many good cooks. And Lilia, who is on par with Solomon." You shuddered. "But there was also so many athletics clubs. I bet you'd really like Spelldrive." You smiled.
"Spelldrive?"
"Yeah!"
As you launched into an in-depth explanation of the sport, at least as you understood it, he simply watched. He was glad you'd opened up to him, and to hear that you weren't always alone. He would probably ask Satan if he could find anything about getting your cat for you. But for now, he was just happy to see you being comfortable enough to talk about your past.
Belphegor:
Belphegor liked to visit your dreams whenever you'd let him. They were always so interesting. They almost matched you, in that regard. As you were so strange in his eyes. He was very lucky, able to explore your good dreams. Dreams that told of friends, and adventure. Light hardship, sure, but mostly wonder. And happiness. Along with a cat that seemed to pop up in every dream. He didn't know that he only saw this because he didn't always tune into your dreams. Not every dream is a happy one.
It was one day, when you happened to be taking a nap in his general vicinity, that he drifted off, and entered your dream. He prepared himself for the bright light of the outside of Night Raven College, and for the happy smiling faces, or the sound of laughter, as he usually saw when he joined your in your dreams. What he wasn't expecting, was the fire. The screaming, the fear. He was prepared to watch on happily as you got to see your friends, the people you consider family, in your dreams, but instead, he only saw your terror.
He couldn't look away as you looked on in terror as eight towering figures, covering in black ink, with massive ink monsters behind them cornered you. He recognized some of these faces, they were those of your friends. They were friends, friends who would drive you to work harder, and do better, but would always be there to help in any way they could, if they could, when you asked.
But there was one face he was shocked to see, moreso than the friends. It was your cat. Your cat that had been changed into a hulking, massive beast, and it looked more wild than he had ever seen. It wasn't talking anymore, none of those smart ass comments he'd overhear, it was growling at you, roaring at you. It had never done that before.
Belphegor, unable to stand by as you feared for your life, even in a dream, quickly made his way to in front of you, his back to you.
"You need to wake up."
You heard him, but his voice was muddled in your panic, it sounded like he was under water. You looked at him in confusion.
"What?"
"Wake! UP!" He commanded.
You shot up, gasping for air, as you woke up. Belphegor followed not long after, making his way over, and sitting beside you, as you began to calm down from such a panic-inducing dream. He sat beside you until your breathing was under control, and you weren't shaking as much anymore.
You leaned onto him, your head resting on his shoulder, and feeling embarrassed. It wasn't often that you had these nightmares, but they were always intense and unpleasant when you did. You didn't think he knew, he'd never visited those dreams. It's not as though you were actively hiding it, you'd told him that you'd had nightmares before, but you were ashamed that he had seen them firsthand.
You both just sat in silence for several moments, before he spoke first.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked, softly.
"They don't know about the nightmares. I mean, my closer friends do, but those who the nightmares are about, don't. They don't need that."
"Why are they in your nightmares? And why did they look like that?"
"They lost control of their emotions, and their magic overwhelmed them. They weren't in control, when they looked like that. That was their anger, and sadness, their pain, that was in control of them, with their magic creating the ink monsters behind them." You explained, quietly. "I don't blame them, no one can be expected to hold it together for so long, but that doesn't make it any less unpleasant."
"And your cat?"
"I don't know why I have nightmares about him like that." You admitted. "I think it's because I miss him, and I'm scared of what will happen to him without me there."
"How long have you had these nightmares?"
"They started after the first Overblot, that's what they're called," you explained simply, "but they only got worse as more Overblots happened."
"Was there no one you could go to?" You shook your head.
"I couldn't go to Crowley, he was useless," you laughed humorlessly, "the teachers were nice, but they couldn't do anything. I told my friends, and they tried their best, but nothing ever really helped. Grim used to sleep on my bed with me, and that would chase the nightmares away pretty well, but," you trailed off.
"You don't have him with you now, so the nightmares are back with a vengeance?" You nodded, smiling a little at his wording. He wrapped an arm around you. "Do you miss him?"
"I do."
He knew you did, he knew that was a redundant question. But he wanted to hear it from you, as a sort of confirmation. He felt bad that you missed your cat, and he wished he could do something about it, but he knew he couldn't. So you two just sat in silence, comforted by the warmth of the room, and the calm atmosphere around the two of you.
He had always wondered why, or even how, you'd taken his actions in stride. How you'd forgiven him so easily. He knew now, that it was just in your nature after having gone through so much at your last school. He decided in that moment that he'd make an effort to be the person to hold a grudge on your behalf, to let people know that you may have forgiven them, but he certainly hasn't, and he hasn't forgotten what they've done to you. He didn't voice this, but he knew that you knew how he felt.
But for now, you two just sat there, comfortable, and warm. He wanted to apologize, and say he'd do everything in his power to get you your cat, but he didn't want to say that without a guarantee that he could do it. So there you sat, close, and comfortable.
"I'll chase your nightmares away." He offered, just barely a whisper, yet because of your proximity, you heard it.
"Thanks Belphie." You smiled tiredly, happy to hear that he would protect your dreams.
You drifted off not long after, Belphie following close behind. But he kept his word, and your nightmares didn't plague you after that, whenever Belphie could help it.
#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x mc#twst x reader#obey me x mc#my fic#fanfic#imagines#obey me#obey me x reader#obey me lucifer x reader#obey me lucifer x mc#lucifer x reader#lucifer x mc#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me mammon x reader#obey me mammon x mc#mammon x mc#mammon x reader#obey me leviathan#obey me leviathan x reader#obey me leviathan x mc#leviathan x reader#leviathan x mc#obey me asmodeus#obey me asmodeus x reader#obey me asmodeus x mc#asmodeus x reader#asmodeus x mc#obey me satan
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Hello!! I saw your requests were open and was wondering if I could requests how the brothers would react to and treat an MC with chronic illnesses that cause them to need mobility aids like a cane, rollator and wheelchair to get around depending on how they feel (I mostly have to use a rollator and it's a pretty pink) but it also causes them to have dizzy spells really easily so they may have to randomly sit while out and about, leaves them with very little energy most days but they push through cause that's life but there's some days where the chronic fatigue and chronic pain keeps them bed ridden (and thus unable to attend RAD). I've been struggling for a year myself and I just really am turning to my boys for comfort. Even if you can't get to this or don't feel you can write for this I really appreciate just reading it! I'm excited to read more from you truly! Hope you have a good day!
âRest Easy, Love, We've Got Youâ
Tags: Obey Me Brothers x Reader [Lucifer. x Reader, Mammon x Reader, Leviathan x Reader, Satan x Reader, Asmodeus x Reader, Beelzebub x Reader, Belphegor x Reader], Chronic Illness Representation, Disability Awareness, Mobility Aids, Fluff & Comfort, Slice of Life, Caregiving Dynamics, Emotional Support, Empathy.
Warnings: Contains themes of chronic illness, fatigue, and pain, Depictions of caring/supportive relationships, Mentions of mobility aids, Focus on emotional comfort and well-being.
A/N: First of all, thank you so much for your request! I really hope this piece brings you some comfort and makes you feel supported. I know that living with chronic illness can be really tough, but please remember that youâre strong, and you deserve all the care, love, and support in the world. Iâm sending you so much warmth, and I truly hope you get well soon and take care of yourself! đŤđ⨠Thank you again for sharing your request, and Iâm wishing you nothing but health and happiness! đ
Lucifer was never one to show his emotions easily, but seeing you struggle with something so beyond your control weighed heavily on him. His stoic demeanor often concealed the concern that lurked beneath.
When he first noticed you using a rollator, he didn't flinch. But the moment he saw the one you picked out, he couldnât help but offer a small smileâa rare sight for the others, as if approving your choice.
"Let me know if you need assistance, MC." he'd offer, his voice calm and gentle. "You shouldn't feel the need to push yourself too hard." His eyes softened when you mentioned feeling dizzy or fatigued, a far cry from his usual commanding tone. He'd always make sure to walk beside you when you were out, offering his arm for support or using his influence to make sure no one bumped into you.
If you had to miss RAD for the day, he'd send you a tray of your favorite food, made with care. He'd also stop by with paperwork, though the way he would look at you was soft with understanding, as if telling you that his pride in you never wavered, even if you couldn't be there today.
"I donât mind handling things here. Rest as you need."
Mammon, while initially unsure how to react to your condition, soon became your most fervent protector. He had a big heart, even if it was wrapped up in layers of greed and bravado. When you first mentioned you had a mobility aid, he was quick to say, "Oi, if anyone tries to mess with ya, you tell 'em Iâll handle it!"
He wasnât always the most graceful about it, but his intentions were always pure. If he saw you sitting down because you were too dizzy, he'd immediately rush to your side, wrapping an arm around you to steady you.
"Ya donât need to push yerself, ya know? Yeâre gonna hurt yourself!" heâd say, not fully understanding what it meant to push through chronic pain, but heâd do everything in his power to help.
He would try to pamper you on days you had to stay in bed, coming in with snacks, blankets, and random trinkets that he thought might cheer you up. "Ya deserve all the best stuff, so donât feel bad about it!" heâd grumble, sitting by your side, even if he wasnât the most delicate at times.
Leviathan was the type to do a lot of thinking and worrying in silence, so it took him some time to come to terms with how to best support you. His first instinct was to ask you if you needed help, but his anxiety often made him second-guess himself. He was nervous about saying the wrong thing, so he focused on actions rather than words.
One day, you were struggling to get from one place to another, and before you could even say a word, Levi appeared with your rollator, offering it to you with a shy but earnest smile. "I-I saw you needed this... I thought maybe this would make it easier...?" heâd say, voice awkward but full of sincerity. "Y-you donât need to go anywhere by yourself! I can help... I can even carry your stuff if you want!"
His heart would ache every time you mentioned a day when the fatigue hit you hardest, and when you stayed in bed, heâd be there with games, movies, and all the comfort items he could think of. He'd worry about you endlessly, but it came from a place of deep care.
"Please, MC, take it easy... You don't have to do everything." heâd say, hoping you knew you could rely on him for anything you needed.
Satan was one of the few who could immediately grasp the depth of what you were going through. With his intelligence and empathy, he had no trouble understanding chronic pain and illness, as he had dealt with his own inner turmoil for years. When you talked about your mobility aids and dizziness, he listened intently and asked all the right questions to understand how he could be of help.
"Your well-being comes first." heâd remind you, offering his support without hesitation. If you were feeling fatigued, he wouldnât insist on anything. Instead, heâd suggest the most calming ways to spend the day together, whether it was reading or simply relaxing by your side.
If you had to miss RAD, he'd make sure to bring something comfortingâbe it a book, tea, or a quiet space to rest. He was always gentle in his approach, never pushing you to do anything you werenât comfortable with.
"I donât mind handling things in your stead. Take care of yourself, MC." heâd say softly, his gaze full of respect.
Asmodeus was quick to fall into a protective role when it came to you. He absolutely adored your pink rollator, often calling it "fabulously cute" and making sure it was always in the best condition. He had a tendency to fuss over you, but it came from a place of deep love and care.
"Sweetie, you must be more careful! I canât have you looking so tired all the time, can I?" He would go overboard on pampering you with lavish gifts, massages, and all the luxury his power could provide. His eyes would soften every time you told him how much energy it took just to get through the day, and his heart would ache for you on the days you were bedridden.
"You deserve nothing but the best, darling." he'd say, fluffing your pillows and pampering you with as much comfort as possible. Heâd always remind you that he was there to help with anythingâwhether you needed someone to talk to, someone to hang out with, or just someone to make you smile.
Beelzebubâs approach was simple: he just wanted you to feel as comfortable as possible. He was incredibly perceptive when it came to your needs, and if he noticed you were struggling, he'd make sure to do whatever it took to help. He was quiet, but there was a deep tenderness to his actions.
If you needed to sit down because of dizziness, Beel would sit beside you without a word, making sure you had a safe space. He'd always keep an eye on your health, ensuring you had everything you needed, whether it was food, comfort, or just some time to rest.
He was also the type to sneak in with snacks or meals when you were bedridden, always making sure you were well-fed and comfortable. If you couldnât attend RAD, he wouldnât push you, simply reassuring you that heâd handle things and give you all the space you needed.
"Donât worry about anything. Just rest." heâd say quietly, always the gentle giant, putting your needs above his own.
Belphegor, ever the laid-back one, wasnât always the first to jump into action, but he was incredibly in tune with your emotions. He knew what it was like to struggle with energy, and while heâd never outwardly admit it, he had a quiet, empathetic understanding of your chronic fatigue.
On days when you couldnât get out of bed, heâd quietly slip in, laying beside you, offering his warmth and presence as a comfort. If you needed a cane or rollator, heâd be there to grab it without question, lazily moving about the house to ensure you werenât uncomfortable.
"Donât worry. Take a nap," heâd whisper with a sleepy grin. "Iâll make sure the others donât bother you."
Belphegor might not have been as vocal about his concern as some of the others, but his gentle actions showed his love and dedication. Heâd take care of everything else while you rested, making sure you had one less thing to worry about.
#x reader#obey me brothers x reader#lucifer x reader#mammon x reader#leviathan x reader#satan x reader#asmodeus x reader#beelzebub x reader#belphegor x reader#chronic illness representation#disability awareness#mobility aids#fluff and comfort#slice of life#caregiving dynamics#emotional support#empathy#fatigue and pain#obey me lucifer x reader#obey me mammon x reader#obey me leviathan x reader#obey me satan x reader#obey me asmo x reader#obey me beel x reader#obey me belphie x reader#obey me shall we date#obey me swd#obey me
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NRC LGBTQIA+ HCs
Those are only my thoughts and you can agree with them but you don't have to. We are all different and have our own visions. I'm quite willing to discuss or explain my visions - If you're being polite enough, I've got no time for drama. I will use He/Him for everyone - no matter what I have as a HC - because of the canon and it might be confusing for others (I, for one, often have to take a "Wait, why she?"-moment until I realize it's a HC.)
Riddle Rosehearts
He waits for the "right woman" that would "please his mothers wish". After meeting the students in NRC, especially Cater, he is curious and questioning his previous thought about being Cis/Het. Might find interest in all pronouns. I could also see him having to be more feminine because his mother wanted a girl (which could imply him having trouble with gender as a whole).
Ace Trappola
I think it's canon that he's not too fond of romantic love, so I do believe he'd be most comfortable seeing himslf as aromantic. As for the rest: He's your average cis male teenager who makes too many dick jokes for his lack of experience (but would consider himself as allosexual). Will throw hands and sees it as an insult if you call him a girl tho.
Deuce Spade
Like Mother, like son - Both Spades are bisexual in my eyes. Deuce used to be homophobic in his delinquent times but changed for the better (and realized that he disliked the idea of gay people because they "always look so happy"). Had multiple "What if"s regarding his gender (Including asking Mama Spade to treat him like her daughter for a bit, so Deuce could get a feeling for it) but it felt too weird, so he still identifies himself with his assigned gender (male) at birth - But doesn't mind it if people use they/them for him. Would be your average nervous Teenager when it comes to showing affection in any way and will blush brightly at the topic of naughty stuff.
Trey Clover
Didn't give it much thought ("If I like a person, I like them" type of mindset but had no particular romantic feelings before) before entering NRC - Where he had his first guy crush which rocked his world a little. Constantly questioning "Am I gay, bi or pan?", but his first and only crush doesn't really help and is actually the reason for his questioning in the first place. Hasn't come out at all and doesn't plan on it because he grew up that the genders of people in a relationship doesn't matter and his parents would support him as long as he's happy. "I was born as a guy, so I'm a guy, I guess. I don't really care if you use she/her for me. It'll be just a bit confusing for me at first" type of guy. After one of the night talks with Cater, he got curious about poly-relationships.
Cater Diamond
Many thoughts on his guy, many possibilities but this one story I have planned made me like the idea of trans-male Cater a lot (Mainly He/Him but doesn't mind They/Them). Funnily enough, I can also see Cater as genderfluid slaying person - That's what I mean when I say there's a lot of potential. Has too many trust and commitment issues to think of any type of relationship but he's still a bisexual king. If I had to describe a bisexual, it would be him. Wouldn't say no to a potential poly-relationship but is also intimidated by the idea because of his mental issues. Sees a lot of benefits in poly-relationships. I wouldn't be surprised if he had hooked up with someone before. Despite it all, he flirts as if his life depends on it (Which is, at least in jp, somewhat canon).
Leona Kingscholar
"I'm a guy" ahh male (in an unbothered way, not the toxic way. He's surprised if someone asks for his pronouns but respects the person just a tiny bit more for caring enough to ask in the first place). While I do believe it is hard for him to actually love someone to begin with, I'm convinced of Omniromantic and -sexual Leona.
Ruggie Bucchi
"My gender is whatever gets the job done." Based on irl hyenas, it isn't impossible for Ruggie to not be AMAB (The genitalia of a female hyena are very similar to those of a male. It led on multiple occasions to zoos attempting to breed two male hyenas). So if a job requires him to dress in drag and dance the hoola, Ruggie will do so. In theory bisexual but is too busy for actual relationships. Would absolutely come up with the wildest neopronuns to piss off Karens though.
Jack Howl
He definitely questioned himself as a young pup, especially after meeting Vil because he thought he might have a crush on him but he was proven wrong later on. Definitely one of the few straight guys in NRC. The more genderqueer people he meets, the more worried he gets about peoples pronouns because he used to be the type to look at a person and guess based on whatever vibes they give off. Now he doesn't know which pronouns to use, so he often uses they/them unless told otherwise (Has a non-verbal pact with Deuce to let each other know what kind of pronouns people have - if the other person knows).
Azul Ashengrotto
I'm making this based on irl male octopi and their nature of dying after having sex for the first and only time: So with that in mind, I do believe that Azul wouldn't want to be sexually active at all (That and his insecuities aboout his body would probably stop him too). I definitely picture him as a helpless romantic once he does fall for a person, though (demiromantic maybe?). Definitely ne for the males, both his gender and his potential partner. He has absolutely questioned his gender and maybe even secretly owns a floor-length dress he wears in his room when his mind wanders off to question potential genders again.
Jade Leech
I will never not talk about AroAce Jade. I could write an essay about AroAce Jade but I won't. Just yes. Could potentially be bi-gender though. Likes to mess with people "You think I'm a guy? Is this not a little too narrow minded? ... What? Oh no, I'm not a woman."
Floyd Leech
Raging homosexual. His type? "If he can rock my bottom, I'm vibing", but his potential boyfriend needs to be able to keep up with his nature. Only his boyfriend sees a rare soft and sweet side from time to time, trust. (I've seen people have the HC of Floyd being a She/Her lesbian and I personally can only see it if we're talking about genderbend Floyd but I'm not here to comment on other people's HCs. I just wanted to mention my sight on genderbend Floyd too). Is a He/Him guy but wore dresses and skirts before but only very wide ones or the type that have a deep cut in it - For free legs (It's canon that he doesn't like tight clothes, so I'm working this into the HC.)
Kalim Al-Asim
"I'm a guy but I can be your big sister too, if you want to haha!" Would absolutely dress feminine if he feels like it. Likes to dance in very fancy and wide dresses and skirts because they look pretty when you do a twirl. Also very pansexual, just wants to love.
Jamil Viper
Is used to dress up feminine because Najma makes him wear her clothes sometimes, so she can see if it looks any good. Much like Ruggie, doesn't care about gender as long as it gets the job done and has been often enough addressed as a girl (Especially if the person saw Jamil only from behind) to stop caring about pronouns. Has many reasons not to want to be in a relationship but swings both ways in theory.
Vil Schoenheit
Gender? "Yes." Did you expect anything less than all genders for THE Vil Schoenheit? Come on now. Extremely demisexual and -romantic. Clothes have no gender (his canon statement, Book 5), so he has worn all types of clothes with confidence and comfort.
Rook Hunt
Lithromantic (Basically: Attraction exists until the target of your affection likes you back). Gender doesn't matter for a partner or Rook, but "it/its" pronouns are extremely interesting to the Hunter.
Epel Felmier
Homophobic, both internal and external. "I'm a man!" but in the toxic way. I see trans-male Epel HCs (and justify his dislike of "girly" things with that) a lot and I really like them as well but the idea of this toxic cis-het white guy Epel is much more entertaining to me - Let this guy be annoying for the sake of being annoying, not everything needs an emotional reason :> He's a little fruit tho even if he denies it (I mean, he's in Pomefiore for a reason /hj).
Idia Shroud
"I don't do love, I don't do sex, I don't do gender. Do not perceive me." Tbh I dont have any particular HCs for Idia, I just go with whatever I see in media, if it works out with my interpretation of Idia ofc. I don't believe that Idia would be quick to love though (especially after Eliza).
Ortho Shroud
Again, I don't have many HCs on my own but I've seen both trans-male and trans-female Ortho HCs and I like 'em both.
Malleus Draconia
Knows he needs to bring up an heir eventually but hasn't found the right person yet. Isn't exactly sure about his own sexuality but is certain he'll know once he finds "the right person". Is a little confused by "new" genders, so he just settles with the classic He/Him for himself - Tries his best to respect Neopronouns and trans folk. Will ask a lot of questions if you come out to him as anything that is not your assigned gender - Both out of curiosity and because he doesn't want to mess up. Has been raised to be supportive through Lilia.
Lilia Vanrouge
Man, Woman, prefer not to say, Other, Croissant - It's all Lilias. You're a Non-Binary person? Lilia absorbs whatever your assigned gender at birth was. You're trans? Lilia will trade your assigned gender with whatever you identify as. It's also pretty much canon that he's bisexual, so there's that - I'm pretty sure he hesitates about relationships due to his previous experiences with Meleanor and Raverne. Has definitely made out with Baul when they were younger.
Silver
When you ask Silver what he likes, he'll tell you about his sword (the object, not a naughty reference to his genitalia). If you'll correct yourself and mean as in a person, he'll tell you that he doesn't care what the gender of his opponent in a battle is - He just hopes they'll good enough to help him learn how to improve his skills. In short: His duties and interests matter to Silver much more than something like love or sexual intercourse. (Same applies if you ask about his own gender: "I'm.. a guy? But I don't see where this matters right now.")
Sebek Zigvolt
Used to be a raging homophobe until Lilia sat him down and had a looong talk with him. "I'm not queer", proceeds to explain how overrated the concept of love is and how his duties should never be interrupted by something as trivial as romantic relationships (He doesn't get that this mindset has a lot of AroAce weight in it - which means he's queer). He's overall a little confused, but he's got the spirit. Will correct people very loudly if they misgender his friends or close ones. Will also regularly ask Lilia in the morning what kind of pronoun-day is (Lilia has considered to wear different colored bracelets, so Sebek doesn't have to ask every morning.)
#twisted wonderland#twst#riddle rosehearts#ace trappola#deuce spade#trey clover#cater diamond#leona kingscholar#ruggie bucchi#jack howl#azul ashengrotto#jade leech#floyd leech#kalim al asim#jamil viper#vil schoenheit#rook hunt#epel felmier#idia shroud#ortho shroud#malleus draconia#lilia vanrouge#twst silver#sebek zigvolt
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you know i've always liked entity patrick interpretations, but what if it was a red herring or something? hear me out. canonically speaking, as far as i'm aware (from the forum posts we recently gained access back to) it's confirmed that michael and patrick are a DID system. now if you know anything about DID, there's the concept of pseudomemories, which are most present in fictives i think? but it's not exclusive to them. terms like these don't have one, perfect little definition you can simply find, but the best way i know how to describe them is as memories that didn't actually, literally happen, but still often carry emotional significance for the person who has them. they can be allegorical too, representing something that's too hard to remember in a more easy to digest way. but keep in mind i'm not a doctor or some shit, so don't take what i've heard as gospel just because i myself have DID. i just hope this gives context to my little idea
anyways. what if patrick's memories of being from a time before michael, all the entity-esque stuff he thinks he knows about himself, are actually pseudomemories? he thinks he's an entity because that's what he remembers, he has some non-human abilities like teleportation (though i think that's all we ever see), and i think deep down he's always seen himself as an outsider. it's his way of coping with the fact that he's been so hard to accept into the family, it's his way of rationalizing it and making it easier. of course he's othered, he IS an other. of course he doesn't feel like he fits in, he was never MADE to fit in. it's his way of keeping distance between himself and michael, and him and shaun, even when both start to accept him and see him as another sibling. like i said- it can make things easier to digest
but the truth underneath it all is, both michael and patrick are capable of these nonhuman-y abilities, michael just doesn't know how to use them. patrick has always been a part of the family, he just refuses to accept it because he doesn't want to feel vulnerable, doesn't want to open himself up when he fears being shut down yet again. habit and patrick DO "go way back," but that's because the andersen's reiterate; it's still always been michael, shaun, and himself since the beginning. and patrick keeps getting holes in his memory. losing time, losing key details that would make it obvious to him. things about himself that he doesn't understand. and michael doesn't have the heart to tell him, because it's a sort of coping mechanism. i think that only when everyone around him finally accepts him as he is, doesn't treat him like an outsider anymore for a prolonged period of time so he starts to feel more comfortable- that's when patrick finally comes to terms with it, and accepts it
so yeah. the ultimate combining of interpretations
#og#mlandersen0#mla0#slenderverse#patrick andersen#michael andersen#i love humanizing patrick and accepting that he has a whole slew of his own trauma and issues... free my man
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Did I accidently write more than just a few lines of dialogue for this scene?... *shyly fumbling with fingers* đĽšđđ maybe...
Sorry, I suck at words and this isn't betaread nor properly proofread and I am not native english, I'm very sorry in advance...
full story down below
(Chappel Roan - Love me Anyway)
(Benson Boone - Slow it Down)
"VICE-CAPTAIN!!!!"
The tiny moving plush-like thing in his hand apparently started screaming as well now.
"WHY ALWAYS MEEE!?!?"
What looked like the chibi mini-version of the Defence Force's biggest trump card, struggled to hold on his thumb, kicking around those little feet of his.
"Well, now I'm quite curious abut THAT story..."
"I CAN'T TURN BACK AND I AM T I N Y !!! (Ë ËĚŁĚŁĚĽâËĚŁĚŁĚĽ )"
"I see that... How'd you even get in here?"
Tiny #8 stopped fidgeting a bit. Instead two unproportionally big round dark eyes goggled at him. It was undeniably adorable to look at. "Well after THIS happened, I couldn't grab my phone on the table anymore, so I ran around to find someone, but I figured Narumi and Kikoru would very likely take advantage of my situation and do something stupid with me."
"Oh yeah, they definitely would and I get why, honestly."
"So I ran around to find you, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW BIG THE 1st DIVISION IS, WHEN YOU'RE LIKE THIS, OK?! And then I saw the slightly opened window and just crawled in... ŕźźâŻďšâŻŕź˝"
"Wait... you know where my temporary place in the 1st Division is located? Why?"
"....Coincidence? (*ďžď˝°ďž) "
He sighed. "Well just when you think you saw everything...Kafka Hibino enters the stage..."
"SIR, WHAT SHOULD I DO?? WHY ARE THESE THINGS ALWAYS HAPPENING TO ME??"
"you really want me to answer that, bud?", he barely tried to hide the undertone of his voice, which left the small creature on the palm of his hand baffled for a second.
"Wha-? HEY, MEAN!! What are you on about!?"ďźďźĐ´ďźďź
"Yeah, maybe, I don't know STOP CHANGING in general, like I told you f.ex.. or maybe stick to your training routine without going OVERBOARD on a regular basis? How 'bout that?"
The big dark round eyes got even bigger with every word spoken.
"Yeah, don't look at me like that, I might coincidently got wind of stuff, you know?"
His unexpectedly open and emotional response threw Kafka off. For a second he forgot about his *tiny* main problem, his mind jumped between confused and worried and he couldn't comprehend with his reaction for now. After some awkward seconds in silence, Hoshina's tone grew significantly calmer, but still sort of off to his usual self-assured expression. "Well at least this time you're actually telling me about stuff that bothers you, huh?"
Silence again. While hanging from the palm of his Vice-Captain's hand Kafka realized something (besides his size) was different. His senses grew more aware of his surroundings to find answers.
"Are... are you drunk, sir?"
Besides the slight scent of alcohol in the air, and the - well quite obvious - bottle of sake on the table, the startled twitch on his face confirmed Kafka's guess was right. Other than the sake the only other thing on the table were some snacks. Another odd thing to Kafka, who was used to see Hoshina's surroundings stuffed with documents, loose papers, books and other work related things.
The silence lingered around them uncomfortably. To Kafka's suprise Hoshina was seemingly struggling with words. A look on his face Kafka couldn't remember seeing before. Now his mind definitely jumped to 'worried'.
Hoshina tried to mimic an insulted face and looked away. "A little tippsy at most... I'm off-duty for tonight.." Besides the slightly blushed nose and cheeks, Kafka now noticed some dark circles under red eyes. "..and despite my gut telling me better, I assumed I probably won't be needed anymore today, and that I could hang loose a little. It's not my Division after all, there's another Captain and Vice-Captain in charge here. So I might as well make use of that chance... Should have known, it would end up that way or another.. " He smiled a bit and Kafkas felt like his heart clenching from the sight. "Although I definitely should have placed my bet on YOU to be the reason for that." He chuckled lightly, while his expressions grew somewhat softer.
"I'm sorry, Sir."
"Nah, it's fine. As if I didn't get used to your-"
"I never put much thought to it, but ever since the Defence Force started preparing for the big counter attack on #9 your workload must've at least doubled in the 3rd and 1st Division.. and here I am still taking over the rest of your time as well..."
"Don't like where this is going, officer... You're not starting pitying me, are ya?"
"No I-...I just feel like.. I didn't realize, and there for not appreciated your work enough.." Silence. "And also.." The tiny kaiju had his look glued to the floor in front of him for a while now. "I know you told me to brush it off earlier but,... I truly regret ... not telling you about... #8 n'stuff.. I'm sorry... I'd change that if I could.."
A small plushy-sized Kaiju was gently put back on the ground again. Hoshina scratched his nose for a second, before bending far back to the other side of the room. He grabbed for his smartphone that was burried in piles of carelessly pushed aside documents.
"As I said. You're here now, aren't ya?" When he got his phone he chose to stay laid down on the floor and started typing something on the lightened screen.
A tiny transformed Kafka carefully made his way around and walked up on eye-level with Hoshina's face again. Once again overwhelmed by his current state of being, he let himself fall back on the floor and sat on the ground. "So... what should I do?"
"The first thing WE do is trying to make some calls. But since you seem to be in no life-threatening condition, we might have to wait 'till tomorrow for a first medical examination. If that's the case you'll stay, and I get you down to the lab first thing in the morning."
"Wait!" The tiny Kaiju made a suprisingly far jump right up to Hoshina's chest and pressed the (for him very big) red hang-up button on the screen with both paws. "You're right about that, I won't die this second from being tiny, so we might as well wait for tomorrow."
The questioning look on the opposite's face made a tiny Kafka look away and scratch his neck shyly. "Well, since you're ... I dunno,... I feel like, I can't have you be seen d-dru- .. like this by other officials of the 1st Division, b-because of me..."
A finger poked his forehead, which caused a tiny being like him to fall right back landing on warm soft fabric of Hoshina's shirt.
"Idiot. But you might be right about that."
#kn8#kaiju no 8#fanart#kafka hibino#soshiro hoshina#kafhoshi#kafhoshi pls come and calm my mind#I don't know why but I get a thing out of slightly fed up Hoshina.. he would never actually be pissed at kafka tho#but I always thought like.. boy this man can't have that much energy / caffeine for all the stuff he is responsible for at#and I love storylines that could theoretically fit into canon#went through my pile of shame aka. WIPs I abandoned#tried working on some and failed#sticked to this one then.#mediocre happy with both text and fanart#guess its because of my mood tho#I had some weird days I tell ya...#ADHD problems all the way#like i broke a piece of my tooth AND my car lol the irony#there would be days I'll handle these things better but I'm very much ignoring my problems rn#my dad felt the need to help out his âlittle girlâ once more and took care of the car for me#I'm really thankful for it but at the same time I feel horrible 'cause I'm like 31 ;_; I should handle my own sht rn n I feel like I can't#also my HAND is ITCHING for DAYS#these are the most unreasonable and confusing tags right here sry#I'm sure I'll laugh about it in a few months looking back at it (´âĄ`)#icy's art
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I have not posted any of my analysis to reddit yet and I think I might just post it and ghost it. I've already spent too much time looking at other people's threads on there to feel any way good about interacting with folks.
I already went in an added the "I know you're going to bring this up let me save you the time" section which is exclusively touching on the frequent topics of:
"well what about the fingerprint nostrum and finger mimics? He is clearly just a crackpot"
And
"it's definitely some weird elaborate sacrifice to Metyr thing"
#if he's drinking hallucinogenic tea in his free time genuinely good for him. whatever man. i just do not think either of those items are-#at all relevant to the quest especially the nostrum because it is a placebo medicine and aint nothing fake about this shit#also i think theres a distinction between becoming fingers vs wanting to replace metyr? idk like as ive said i think he thinks he's-#better than the fingerweavers and rightfully so#like please come to a new conclusion other than âman this guy is on drugsâ#also girl... metyr doesnt need sacrifices. like? where is that textually or in set design? metyr wants us to leave her the fuck alone#she's minding her own business EVERY TIME WE SPAWN INTO HER ZONE#like why are people so desperate for everything to have a dark undercurrent? not everything has to be some dark disney ass shit#âactually finding nemo is a hallucination & Marlin is insane & nemo is dead that movie is actually super fucked up & dory is a grim reaperâ#like im sorry but this is how this extra shit all feels to me#like it is already fucked up and miserable?#is he 100% a good person? like thats genuinely person to person. theres personal gain from the quest#and hes definitely very good at getting what he wants#manipulate manifest mother#tail fingers on the vision board#devon yaps#and yap I did#like I don't want to be a bitch because yeah we should genuinely celebrate other peoples theories and hcs in these games#but i dont think âlol this guy is just on drugsâ is one of those things#because i like spooky theories if theyre backed up.#but to say âits this weirdly horrible thing and youre all wrongâ especially in his context is not great to me#Sorry. like may my own arrogance strike me down like the scholar i think i am đ¤ farewell#because again its coming down to meeting this narrative without preconceived bias and most of the reddit stuff feels like-#âhe is fucked up. won't say why. but i bet you know why i actually think this đ¤Ťđ¤Ťđ¤Ťâ like just you cant wrap your brain around guy mom#i do really want to reiterate this is about reddit shit. like i am so into people who love his character but interpret him more sinisterđđ#truly eating that shit up
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4 on the angst list with Araleyn please I need them to suffer
4 : "but it's my fault, right?" (prompt list here)
#<blinks> very gently implied angst i suppose. usually everyone makes anne suffer so for a change#here's catherine struggling with the idea that if she hadn't been so stubborn about divorce-#maybe it would have been more okay for henry to divorce anne instead of. yknow. chopping her head off.#gently implied angst with the. well. i hurt this person i care about. unintentionally. but still. hence also the historical counterparts bg#... i feel like this isn't suffering (italicised for emphasis) but unfortunately? i am in a more melancholy mood#and also coming to conclusion that whump isnt really my taste.. so quite literally you'd have to pay me to draw it .. dfdsghjkl comms open#anyways yeah i think the most you'll get from my own stuff is <reference to beheading> <mentioned death> <abstract reds that might be blood#six the musical#six the musical fanart#anne boleyn#catherine of aragon#pssst drew anne extra pretty bc coa pov. if you get what i mean.#oh that got off tangent. but also tldr; requests mean free art!! (also idm if you ask for specific things. like your own aus. just to put#that out there)#but also requests: 1. up to my creative freedom and discretion so you probs won't get exactly what you want + 2. no time limit so#can take literal years to reply to.#so ig ? if you have specific things in mind. that you want me to draw. commissions would be better for you if you'll pay!#but if you don't have the money i'm also. lowkey willing to draw for free.. stick it in the inbox .. there's just no guarantee you'll get it#within the next year.. or at all! but you may as well try your luck o.O#(this plan is terrible for business but because for a very long time i was unable to buy anything online. i sympathise greatly ig)
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casey also talks about sepang 2015 what do you think of that
oh in that podcast? uh... lemme listen again...
yeah idk it's not really anything new I'd say? he's said basically all the same stuff in more interesting and extensive ways elsewhere. I think casey inevitably has a very 'well feuding is bad and helps nobody' point of view, has expressed that before in the past, does it here again, and he's also drawn a parallel between himself and marc on several occasions. which... well, of course there's similarities in terms of public discourse or whatever, but the parallel really falls apart whenever casey argues the feuds cost valentino. like, I do think it's sometimes important to just. keep in mind. it's interesting that casey draws this comparison in his mind but that doesn't necessarily means he's right about this. I'm not sure how you'd argue that starting a feud with casey cost valentino anything competitively? you can argue it didn't help him I guess, and then we can have a debate about the ins and outs of the 2008 season. we can also have an argument that in a hypothetical world where casey isn't ill in 2009, valentino doesn't break his leg and casey isn't on a piece of junk in 2010, and valentino isn't on a piece of junk in 2011-12, then actually maybe valentino sparking open animosity with casey COULD have cost him. but we don't know that! didn't happen! I wish we could have found out, but we never got the chance! as it stands, the tally on this is pretty straightforward: casey won the title when things were reasonably civil between them in 2007, and valentino took control of the following season at the exact moment he worsened the relationship between the pair of them in 2008. obviously, it's all more complicated than that and casey would of course argue laguna didn't negatively affect his subsequent performances... but it certainly didn't help them. like, at the very worst valentino escalating tensions in 2008 is a complete net neutral. after 2009, them being bitchy to each other every other tuesday was completely competitively irrelevant beyond maybe affecting how they approached occasionally fighting for a podium position. hey, maybe casey used that feud to fire himself up through sheer spite throughout the later stages of his career, but that doesn't actually support his anti-feud stance - it's basically the exact same thing as what valentino does. they're both quite similar in that regard! always so hungry to prove a point, to show how someone else is wrong. kinda half the point with this feuding business is to get yourself going, get yourself motivated, yeah. he straight up openly admits to using yamaha's repeat rejection of him as a way of giving himself motivation, and at the end of the day that's really not all that different?
anyway, what else does casey say... oh yeah, that him and the other aliens were already kinda prepared for this and had learned vale's tricks. that valentino had only been able to get into the minds of the previous generation. welllllll *wiggles hand* sure, I mean, he did clearly have to change his approach... he couldn't just use the exact same playbook to get to them, either on-track or off-track. but that's why he did change up the playbook... again, whether you want to believe valentino won his final two titles 'in the head' rather than just through pure pace kinda depends on how you assess the evidence, but it is at the very least a debate. and, y'know, it's always worth remembering that valentino's most important mind games with casey didn't happen in a press conference... it was on the track. and the on-track stuff really is just embedded in how valentino approaches winning. speaking of aliens, this is what dani and jorge have said:
like, valentino's entire approach to his riding, even to the way he's setting his bike up, is deliberately about directly fucking with you... he's not actually always trying to be faster than you as much as he's trying to give himself the tools to make your life miserable, to pressure you into mistakes, etc etc... and again, especially with casey (if anything because he was so mentally sturdy), the off-track stuff was really just window dressing. (I know they bicker a lot after 2009 but it's just so fundamentally irrelevant to actual on-track competition.) so you can be aware of those tricks, but it also doesn't necessarily help you when someone's being nasty to you on-track in a way you just fully do not enjoy. which is what it was like for casey! for casey, a lot of this comes back to the truly unpleasant context of how he was perceived by the public, how he was treated as mentally weak or 'broken' or whatever partly because he had the misfortune of coming up against a bloke who had the reputation for breaking rivals. I think it's quite natural to end up with a bit of a hardliner 'actually I've never been mentally affected by a result in my life' stance - and of course casey is a lot tougher than a lot of people give him credit for. that being said. sometimes your rivals affect you, shit happens, it's part of the game. it's fundamentally a nice idea to think that valentino's tactics weren't just morally wrong but also ineffective, which is kind of the appeal of this narrative, right? you want to believe you're above that, you want to believe you were adequately prepared and wise to valentino's tactic. it's unsurprising and understandable that casey does tend to tell the story that way, but again it's *wiggles hand* also hard to describe it as completely factual
uh. what else. oh I'm thrilled casey does canonically know valentino and marc were friends, he has said he wasn't following motogp too much during that time period so you couldn't be sure of that. does this mean anything? does it tell you anything? well, no, but it's just a pleasing thought to me. I like that. oh also 'provoking particularly aggressive riders isn't a good idea' is kinda a funny take from casey? like, he of all people would hate the idea of being cowed by someone's reputation like that... casey's right that provoking fast riders can potentially be dangerous, but y'know I do think that's probably not news to anyone almost nine years later. um. that's all I've got I think
#i will say idm getting asks like this AT ALL but i do hope that's not like. the only bit of the podcast people are paying attention to#my thing with sepang 2015 takes is that like... when's the last time anyone has said anything genuinely interesting about that event#which yes big words from the feud blogger... but in fairness a lot of the sepang 2015 stuff is from old notes. that's my excuse idc#but that's kinda the thing... i feel like i haven't really had a new original thought about the whole drama for three plus years#u do kinda run out. basically the takes say more about the person saying them than about the actual event at this point#which. yeah. casey's comments on sepang '15 are primarily interesting in what they tell you about how he feels towards valentino#mind u he's actually quite nice about valentino in this one? casey call him let's finally organise that dinner#heretic tag#//#brr brr#batsplat responds#oh casey does go on another spiel against riders who win at all costs. ships that passed in the night of feuds i always say#also he gets the age he enters the premier class at wrong. i held myself back in the last post from pointing this out for tonal reasons#but if people want my podcast hot takes. i do simply have to mention it. just to set the record straight here#'they battle for podium places after 2009' genuinely. twice. like the alien era giveth but a lot of the time it really does just taketh#somewhat ironically casey wins the duel when he's on the shitty ducati and vale wins the duel when he's on the even shittier ducati#whatever that tells you idk#casey was always promising the laguna rematch would've gone differently and I love that conceptually but also we just don't know#he was like next time I WON'T play nice and it's like?? omg what does that look like. casey what were you cooking#for ethical reasons it's probably fine but for character arc reasons it's objectively ass that casey ended up being able to do all his -#- racing in a way he was entirely comfortable with for his second title in 2011. like it's just a complete waste of a year#you have this whole thing building for four years and then 2010 comes along and it's like. well that's enough narrative intrigue now! <3#also casey/jorge are fundamentally too interesting as individuals to have had such an obscenely boring on-track rivalry and yet here we are#it KILLS me because if you rearranged it and made valentino's dogshit ducati years like. 2009 or something#and do a straight title fight between jorge and casey THEN I genuinely think it would've been way more interesting#the problem with valentino is that he is fundamentally the WORST imaginable character you could invent to be casey's foil#literally everything about valentino could have been designed to be a casey-specific nightmare#but unfortunately that also makes him objectively the most interesting rival casey could have gotten#like morally it's on the edge. but narratively? literally could not have gotten a better villain in casey's story#constantly dancing on this faustian line of having to imitate valentino to beat him while trying not to lose yourself... juicy
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show tempe gang crossover with the morris islanders would actually have been the best episode of bones ever. btw
#please ignore the rest of the tags i will just be making things up#okay they start out in carolina but at least half the episode takes place in dc. do not ask me how travel logistics would work#tory spends the entire episode off with tempe doing bone stuff. booth feels upstaged by a 16-year-old girl#so he goes and hangs out with ben who does NOT trust him right off the bat#ben ends up having to run him over to liri at some point because there's crime afoot and tom is busy. they spend most of the ride in silenc#ofc they end up bonding Eventually because they are both obsessed with crazy emotionally stunted redheads named t brennan#tory is more effective than any of the squinterns and manages to piss hodgins off so bad just by existing#coop hangs out in the lab as saroyan tries to kick him out thirty times. he just keeps showing up and she can't prove who's letting him in#(it's tempe.) angela loves tory but tory does not love angela back. saroyan tolerates her. sweets likes her but knows she's hiding somethin#comes to the conclusion that she can read her friends minds and slowly drives himself crazy because obviously that can't be true#tory brings hi along whenever she needs someone with people skills and he is MORE than happy to participate in a hodgins experiment#hi gets to be king of the lab for about ten minutes. shelton hits it off with angela immediately and they solve half the case together#booth fucking HATES hi because he's evasive and really good at the manipulation thing. booth can't win verbal sparring and he gets Big Mad#at one point the four of them are in an interrogation room together (MISTAKE) because tory had them meddling a little too close to the sun#and booth is trying so hard to question them which didn't work even when they COULDN'T read each other's minds#tory figures out who did it and hi steals her thunder a la shrek wasnt vandalized he gave birth#temperance tells tory 'i know you've got a secret sweets told me and even though i don't trust psychology i find he's insightful' etc etc#tory's like well i might be but i can't tell you it's not just my secret and you wouldn't believe me anyway#because let's be real tempe WOULDNT believe her#meanwhile saroyan convinced by sweets paranoia managed to get a sample of tory's blood and test it and is like HEY WHAT THE FUCK#gets hodgins and they just stare at the results together and delve into conspiracy theories. he's like i KNEW there were werewolves#they debate telling tempe but know it wouldnt end well for the kids and decide to get rid of the evidence. but hodgins is SO smug#also angela spends the whole episode trying to convince everyone hi and shelton are dating and no one believes her#they finally see them kiss or something and they're all somehow floored and angela's just like yeah? duh?#if anyone read this i'm sorry and why
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ugghhh wintertime sucks!! I'm sad and tired and sad all the time.. I need a nap.. and f/o cuddles.. and another nap..
#ash rambles đ#negative#part of it is definitely the weather#it's so dark and dreary and i never wanna leave my bed#but also just. my mood akdjajs I'm kinda down in the dumps today#im recovering from being sick which always fucks me up#and i just cant shake this feeling of anxiety..? and i feel kinda a lot like my f/os wouldnt like me or would fall out of love or never see#me as more than a friend and other stuff like that#i.. actually got broken up with yesterday irl!#it wasnt messy. he said that this isnt what he wanted and it was fine and we're back to being pals. i wasnt sad at all in the moment and#i dont think i am now..? it's weird. we were laughing like always literal minutes after having the chat. when we got together we said that#if things domt work out we wanna keep being friends. and we're doing just that. honestly i saw it coming and idek if i LOVE him anymore#what even does love feel like..? regardless I'm not upset or sad at my breakup since i saw it coming and I'm honestly happy he just. Talked#to me about it. we communicated and then three minutes later went back to talking about x.enoblade LMAAOO it was fun!#but it is ridiculous for me to expect to feel NOTHING at no longer being in a relationship. i cant just feel nothing. i dont feel sad per s#just... in my thoughts i guess? I don't think the feeling of my f/os not liking me stems from me being dumped though. i think thats just me#being me sjdjaksj I'm very insecure a lot of the time. i dont think being dumped helpd very much though LMAAAOO#I'm doing okay i promise. and I'll be alright. theres just both a lot and nothing going on at the same time and i feel... idk what i feel.#i hope my f/os love me đ i hope that a lot#and honestly i know this community is ass and I'm more than happy in my own corner with my couple of followers but. ngl I've really felt as#though I'm not valued here and all that junk as of late. yeah just.. i think everything is happening at the same time and I'm tired and#i feel like I'm a confused kiddo who doesnt know anything anymore BAHAHAHA#holy shit it just sounds like i need a shower and a nap huh- I'll be alright I'm just. dealing with stuff akdjsks but i also hate to always#bring the mood down like this! i always try my best to be haha silly and all that shit. I'm just gonna try to daydream about f/o cuddles#(and try to convince myself they dont hate me ofc)#oh and. i know i mentioned this but. i hate the weather. so much. I'm sad all the time. November is actually my least favorite month too đ#I've gotta study a lot today and I'll try to sneak in some k.urohyou and hopefully start watching monster too but yeah i apolgize if#I'm acting off these days ajdjajs I'm very stuck in my own mind these days. not exactly the most fun place to be đ#delete later#i mean akdjajs i literally started crying the other day because my friend said that my husband (k.yohei) loves me ajdkahdb come on ash..
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#I feel. like I get too worried about putting my stuff in the tags LOL#or just too worried about ants in general#but to be fair I've come from some really infested fandoms#where people got reported for this stuff so hard they were removed from the site#idk if tumblr changed it though. maybe they did. where if someone hit a certain number of reports on their account they got removed#whether they were breaking TOS or not#I think that could have been changed because I don't see it happen anymore#but the more I cared about this tumblr acc the more scared of that I got LOL#it's been super peaceful though???#this could just be because I blocked like half the fandom before posting anything here#but I haven't received any hate mail & haven't had any sort of callout like I was expecting#and I guess mallesil isn't really SUPER controversial#it's leaning off the gray area lately but it is still in the gray area#I just feel like I'm cheating with how easy it is to ''get away'' with having HEY I LIKE INCEST front and center on my pinned and all#when I've seen someone get reported off the map for making one singular post saying they don't mind people who ship child characters#and I've just gotten away with posting sooo many mallesil posts in the main tags lately I'm like huh??? Did I ever actually need to worry?#it's kind of embarrassing I guess having several things in my Posts That Do Not Go Into The Main Tags#that I'm just now realizing were probably totally fine to put out there lol#like damn maybe I can just talk about lilia kissing silver with tongue and get away with it????#anyway#while I am on the subject of things I am embarrassed about for no reason#I feel especially bad lately for not posting like ANYTHING about sebek or lilia most of the time lol#I made a point to draw all the twst characters at least once a while ago but I don't think I've actually drawn sebek more than that?#sorry sebek I love you sebek :(#sebesil is such a good ship and I just have absolutely zero passion for it I DON'T KNOW!!! It just isn't there for me!!!#I like it a lot I love all the ship art for it I like seeing it pop up in fics#but if you leave me to my own devices I'm. not going to think about them even a little probably lol...#I do think about mallesebe sometimes though. I wrote about them once for the request. they're so fun they're so awful#and yet. most of the thoughts I have for mallesebe I'm just like hrmmmm this could be mallesil instead#sorry again sebek I love you sebek đ
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Something I see frequently is fans wanting characters like Elle Greenaway or Nathan Harris to return as unsubs in Criminal Minds, which. I'll be completely honest, I hate the idea for a lot of the suggested characters because it feels so undeniably tragic and hopeless that someone will inevitably become a killer, even if they don't want to become one. Yes, a lot of the unsubs have some kind of tragic backstory, but the thing is that they're still awful people (excluding very very few). I feel like having previous characters return as the unsub paints this picture that you're unable to break the cycle of violence or that you're destined to become a monster, which is just such a honestly tragic message, especially for a show that's already pretty dark.
I'm not opposed to characters reappearing, but I'd much prefer that if those characters appeared again that it'd be in the vein of them having undergone some kind of healing and growth and be able to find themselves some kind of peace and satisfaction in where they are in life. Let them reappear, but don't transform them into monsters but a symbol of the healing and growth available to survivors and the other characters.
#criminal minds#elle greenaway#nathan harris#don't get me wrong i get WHY ppl want it#like elle as an unsub would (admittedly in previous years when her teammates were still there) have been a v dramatic and interesting story#but at the same time... let her heal. she went through some really traumatic stuff and wasnt able to handle it and walked away#let her heal and find peace and leave behind the violence#or nathan harris! like that one admittedly always bugs me bc the idea that a kid who tried to kill himself rather than hurt someone#ends up ultimately becoming a killer anyways is genuinely so tragic and devasting and just hopeless#i just feel like a lot of these perpetuates the idea that you can't break the cycle of abuse or violence#or that you're unable to overcome the difficulties in your life or mind and your fate is sealed#which is genuinely the most fucking tragic ass theme that i've ever heard#like is that really what people want the show's message to be?#no matter how hard you try you will inevitably become what you fear and/or you will perpetuate the violence you experienced#i HATE that message#its why i really dislike how multiple characters reappear later as unsubs especially characters like lindsey vaughn and david smith#like what is the implication here? you're destined to continue the cycle of violence that your parents began?#you'll never be free from the violence you witnessed? you were just a child but your fate has been sealed anyways?#especially with so many of our mcs as well having dealt with serious trauma in their past#are they also destined to become their parents/abusers?#it just feels like a v hopeless message tbh which doesnt feel great when the show is already pretty dark#instead of characters coming back as unsubs i'd love to see them be able to help as teachers or guidance counselors or therapists#or anything really tbh like. show me that they're able to find peace despite what was done to them.#show me that while the trauma may be a part of you it is not all you are
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Ughhhhhhh I hate writing and I hate not writing and I hate myself
#nearly bought a digital typewriter today. actually i DID buy a digital typewriter today. officially yes i have bought a digital typewriter.#the money for the digital typewriter has left my account but i have emailed them to cancel the order because i can't in good faith buy#a digital typewriter when i don't fucking WRITE#i thought it might help me get back into it. distraction free and while allowing me to not judge my own writing#and be continuously editing while i write and going 'i'm crap i'm crap i'm crap no one will ever read this and if they do they will think#that i'm garbage and that i should feel bad etc etc etc'#but it's too expensive and i have the feeling i wouldn't even like or use the thing once i got it#because the IDEAS! the ideas aren't coming to me. or rather they are but none of them seem to stick#i feel underconfident in writing any of them#and then i have old projects that i've always wanted to get back to like the tennis romance thing but SO much has changed since i first#started drafting it. like i don't even know if i like the main couple anymore. i kind of want to put both of them with different OCs of min#but it'd switch up the WHOLE story if i had a different cast#in fact most of the problem lies in the fact that i have this long-running bedtime story i tell myself every night with lore#and a massive cast of characters that i switch out depending on who i'm most interested in right now and every so often i incorporate new#themes and ideas and motifs and plot points sometimes based on media i've been watching because it's MY bedtime story and it doesn't matter#if i plagiarise in my own brain. but then obviously i can't plagiarise in real life#and none of my bedtime stories are GOING anywhere. sometimes i only get through a scene or two before i fall asleep#all of which means my bedtime story is not so much a sweeping epic novel but a sitcom with way too many characters#most of which are werewolves to be honest and sometimes for my own wish fulfilment one of them will walk out of my head#and take care of my problems for me by lending me ÂŁ1million or murdering my best friend's ex. in my mind obviously#so it's like. it's a case of getting in there and annexing off the stuff i think i can use#it's like yeah i've definitely written several romance novels in my head in the process of this but does it matter if they're IN my HEAD#to be honest i feel like my main strength is in creating characters. like i have this one family of werewolves i've been slowly but surely#adding members to since i was like 16. maybe younger? no yeah i think i made the first one when i was 12#they're compelling to ME anyway. i care about them. it's just PLOTS. i can't plot#if a book could just be a lot of dialogue and sex scenes and silly moments and character studies i'd be alright#i also can't describe settings. don't ask me to because i can't#and now i'm just annoyed with myself because i sat down at my laptop to try to write and instead i'm here complaining about how i don't wri#and if i had the digital typewriter... i mean i'd probably still be doing this i'd just no longer have ÂŁ300#i don't have the ÂŁ300 anyway. i hope to christ they refund my card i'm a fucking idiot
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