#and most importantly they’re phenomenal at making you want both to be happy

[limewatt]

isat and orv comparisons…. what if the most repressed individual in the world was loved, and couldn’t see it.

[solemnly-mischievous]

rivalry (d.m. x reader)

You and Draco Malfoy have a rocky relationship, at best. It'd be better to describe it as a rivalry. But all it takes is a bit of fire from your end to finally make him snap.

(AKA: I just really wanted to write an enemies-to-lovers trope for my first fic.)

A/N: Hi! First fic. Hope you like it. :)

Contains: Degradation, slight edging, d/s elements, slight dub-con (but not really; full consent is clearly given), light humiliation

Word count: 3.9K

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Normally, Defense Against the Dark Arts would be your favorite class. The spells you learn are fun and useful; Professor Lupin is always a plus, and most importantly, you’re good at the subject—so bloody good, you’ve bested even Hermione and Harry multiple times.

But lately, you’ve been finding yourself dreading the lessons. So much, in fact, that you were half-considering asking Hermione to hex you just to get out of your afternoon class.

Why? It’s a pretty easy answer when you got down to it.

Draco Malfoy.

You’d had an ongoing rivalry with the git since third grade. He’s been terrorizing you and your friends, mostly because of Harry, but along the way the two of you had begun building a personal vendetta.

(He probably hasn’t quite yet forgiven you for hexing him so badly he’d had to stay in the Infirmary for weeks, and you certainly haven’t forgiven him for causing your friends so much grief over the years.)

This year, you’d thought you could try your best to avoid him, with your upcoming N.E.W.T.s and all. But DADA had other plans.

Professor Lupin had begun experimenting with mixing up partners for class—it was, after all, a very hands-on class—and had apparently decided that cross-house interaction would build bonds and skill. His exact words were, “If they’re your friend, you’re gonna go easier on them. In the real world, you never know who you’re fighting with—or against.”

So he’d randomized the name list. You, being Gryffindor, knew immediately you wouldn’t be with any of your closest friends—but you hoped that perhaps you’d be paired with Cedric, or Luna, or anyone but—

“Your partner is Draco Malfoy,” Professor Lupin informed you when he got to your name, and you immediately make to protest.

“Her?” a voice came just as you complained “Not him”, and the students parted to reveal Draco himself, glaring daggers at you and Lupin.

“Yes, her,” Lupin replied, unruffled. “Now, pair up, everyone. We’re practicing Stunning today.”

That day, you’d fucking limped out of the classroom. Not to say Draco had gotten it easier—he could barely stand after you Disarmed, Stunned, and hit him with a nasty stinger hex just for the sake of it. (You’d gotten detention, but it was worth it.)

Today’s your second class with Malfoy, and you’ve never wanted more to be able to commit violent actions in your life.

“Please,” you whisper to Hermione as your group enter the DADA classroom. “Just one hex. I won’t even go to Pomfrey. No witnesses. You could just Petrify me, if that’s more to your liking.”

She sighs. “I’m not going to Petrify you.”

“’Mione,” you say, scandalized. “I thought we were friends.”

“Pair up, everyone,” Lupin calls out. Your friends shuffle away and you close your eyes, already getting a headache from the thought of—

“Well, well.” That fucking smarmy voice. “If it isn’t Potter’s little friend.”

“If it isn’t Daddy’s boy,” you snap, opening your eyes and glaring at Malfoy, who already has his wand out. “Bugger off, Malfoy.”

“Afraid I can’t do that.” Draco’s eyes narrow. Clearly, he’s as displeased with the situation as you are. “What are we doing today, then? Can’t wait to knock you down a few notches. Star of the class, my—”

“Patronuses!” Professor Lupin announces from across the room, and your heart soars—Patronuses, you could do that. Harry, months earlier, had taught you how to perfect a corporeal form in exchange for tips on his Astronomy essay. He isn’t here today—maybe you could be the only one in the class to do it.

Lupin continues, “Yes, the Patronus—an essential in the world of Defense magic. We’ll be starting with just the simple basics of it. A strong flick of the wand, and the words ‘Expecto Patronum!’. Say it with me, everyone.”

You chorus the words obediently along with the class, Malfoy’s snort of derision not going unnoticed.

“Good. Good, good, now—the key to the Patronus is to think of a happy memory. It has to be strong. Remember, Dementors feed on misery—it’s the only way to keep them away. Now, go practice. I’ll be walking around to see if there’s any problems.”

“Expecto Patronom,” Malfoy repeats in a mocking voice once the classroom starts filling with the chants of fellow students. “Doesn’t Potter know how to do that one? Heard he can do a deer. Pretty weak animal if you ask me—”

“A stag,” you correct. “And it’s Patronum, not Patronom.”

He glares at you again. “Think you’re so smart, don’t you?”

“Certainly smarter than you are.” You glance at him. “Though that’s not saying much, is it?”

You give Fred Weasley, who’d circled around to hear the conversation, a not-discreet fist-bump.

“Alright then.” Malfoy spits out your last name, trying to provoke you. “Let’s see you do it.”

“You try,” you suggest, hiding your smirk. “Unless you’re too scared.”

Draco grits his teeth. Unwilling to back down from a challenge, he brandishes his wand. “Expecto Patronum!”

A thin, wispy light appears at the end of his wand—weak, but clearly visible. Classmates around you murmur as they notice it, and Professor Lupin beams as he sees Draco’s doing. “Very good, Draco! A fantastic start.”

Draco flicks his wand smugly and the Patronus charm dissipates. He smirks, shooting you an expectant look.

You take out your wand, feeling its familiar grip, and you close your eyes. You recall the memory of a weekend in Hogsmeade with your friends, drinking Butterbeer as you stroll through the snowy village, pointing out the shops and people. Unconsciously, you smile.

“Expecto Patronum!”

Light blazes so bright you can see it under closed eyes, and you open them to find a glowing golden retriever prancing out the end of your wand. It bounds around in the air joyfully, leaving a trail of light where it leaps, and circles the classroom, eventually coming back to you and wagging its tail.

Professor Lupin is grinning, utterly delighted as he takes in your Patronus. Calling your name, he exclaims, “That is phenomenal—you’ve learned fast. Very impressive job!”

You smile back, and your Patronus glows lighter in response. You quickly call it off, the light being a bit too much, and the rest of the class passes by in a haze of awed murmurs and classmates asking your advice on their spellwork. You become so preoccupied, you don’t even notice Draco’s unrelenting stare on your back.

The class ends fast, the bell tolling to signify the start of what would be a study period for you. As students trail out of the classroom, chattering happily, Professor Lupin calls you over.

“Listen, I want you to know that what you did today was truly impressive,” he says, seriously. “I assume Harry laid out the groundwork, yes?”

You nod. He smiles. “You and Harry both are very accomplished students, then. But truly—I doubt many Aurors could’ve managed what you did today.”

“Thank you, Professor.” Your words are sincere.

“My pleasure.” Professor Lupin shoots you an apologetic look. “Now, I’m terribly sorry, but I have off-grounds business to attend to—would you mind setting the classroom to rights? I’m afraid I had to push the desks and chairs back for our class, but I don’t have time to put them back. I’ll write you a note, if you—”

“Oh, no, Professor, don’t worry, it’s a study period. I’d be glad to help.”

“Thank you,” he says, relieved, already heading out the door. “Thank you. I’ll see you tomorrow, then. I’ll bring chocolate to compensate!”

“Goodbye, Professor!” you call, and he echoes it, and then he’s gone. You look around the classroom, seeing all the desks in the back, and you crack your knuckles. Time to get to work.

“Well. Quite the teacher’s pet, aren’t we?”

Merlin’s fucking beard.

“Bloody hell, Malfoy,” you mutter, turning around to find him leaning against the classroom doorframe. His blond hair glints silver in the sunlight, and his entire outline—his uniform, his stance, his dark gaze—is just… honestly, unfairly attractive.

So maybe your first impression of Draco Malfoy, years ago, wasn’t that he was a self-entitled git. Maybe, just maybe, you’d thought he was the prettiest boy you’d ever seen.

And maybe that feeling never went away.

Not that you’d let him know that.

“What are you doing here?”

“Study period.” He starts walking towards you, shutting the door behind him. “Couldn’t help but be curious as to what Lupin wanted with you.”

“What’s it to you?” you snap. Malfoy doesn’t reply.

“Why do you insist on being so difficult?” he asks instead, and you blink.

“Me?” you splutter. “Difficult? Fat lot of sense that makes, with you fucking insulting me at every move I make—”

“As I recall, our first interaction was you hexing me in third-year.” Malfoy sounds amused.

“You pushed Harry into the lake,” you snap at him. “You bloody well deserved it.”

Draco laughs. “Good times.”

“Malfoy, what the bloody hell are you doing here?”

“You’ve got quite a mouth.”

“My mouth is also capable of jinxing you three ways to Friday, so I suggest you leave me alone, yeah?” Your fingers twitch towards your wand in preparation, and he only looks on with derision.

“I’m just frightened,” Malfoy sneers. You barely notice him slipping off his rings, pocketing them. “Potter taught you that Patronus charm, didn’t he?”

“What’s it to you?”

“Nothin’. Just wondering what else he taught you.” A vengeful mood seems to have taken Draco. “You seem to hang out with him an awful lot.”

“It’s called having friends,” you snap right back. He looks as though he’s about to retort, but you push on. “Unfamiliar with the concept? Wouldn’t be surprised. Crabbe and Goyle don’t seem like the best conversationalists, are they? Just a couple of goons. Wonder why you don’t have better friends. Friends you can actually talk to who operate with more than one braincell.”

“Shut—”

“Maybe it’s because no one wants to be near you,” you continue, years of pent up frustration spilling out in a vitriolic spiel. “Because you’re a miserable bastard who doesn’t know how to be happy, aren’t you? You drive everyone away and then you go after more because you’re lonely and sad and fucking pathetic—”

“Shut up,” Malfoy repeats with a vehemence.

“—and it’s too fucking late to repair the damage you’ve done—”

“Shut up,” Malfoy snarls, and you stare into his narrowed eyes.

“Fucking make me,” you snap back, and he lunges.

You’re pinned against the wall of the classroom, Malfoy’s wand to your throat and a hand fisting your robes to render you immobile. Draco flicks his wand, ever-so-slightly, and you hear the classroom door lock with a wordless spell.

“Malfoy,” you whisper, but he cuts you off.

“Shut the fuck up or I swear you’ll bloody regret it,” he hisses.

“Draco,” you begin, and he curses.

“Fuck it.”

Gripping your robes, he leans in and kisses you.

It’s rough and demanding and you think he’s trying to hurt you, with how much his teeth scrape against your bottom lip and bite down gently, but you’re not pulling away, he’s not pulling away, and you find yourself leaning into the kiss, arching up to meet him—

He breaks away and looks at you, smirking.

“If I’d known that’s what it would take for you to shut your bloody mouth, I’d have done it years ago.”

“Let me go, Malfoy,” you say shakily, but even as he loosens his grip slightly, you show no sign of moving.

“If you’d wanted to leave you’d have Stunned me long ago,” he states, truthfully. Your wand is fully in reach. You know how to do wordless spells. And yet you let him kiss you.

“Shut up,” you grumble, still not moving.

“I think, perhaps,” Draco murmurs, glancing down at your body, “you’re enjoying this.”

“No,” you argue, and his wand digs into your neck—not enough to hurt but enough to register.

“Shh,” Draco hushes, almost condescendingly. “Be quiet, now. That’s a good girl.”

Involuntarily, you shudder at his words. They made your legs weak, and you fight off the urge to audibly whimper—what the hell’s gotten into you?

Maybe he won’t notice. Maybe he hasn’t noticed.

Of fucking course he notices.

“Oh?” The shit-eating smirk on his face is enough to make you glare absolute daggers at him. “Don’t give me that. You shivered. You liked it.”

“Shut up,” you say again, with no real strength.

“Don’t you want to be my good girl, sweetheart?” he teases cruelly, and you have to close your eyes to fight off the blush. It doesn’t work, and your face grows hot with embarrassment and arousal.

“Dear me,” Draco says mockingly. “What happened to the spitfire from minutes ago, hm? Still feeling like saying those words to me? Still feeling like being bad?”

Inadvertently, you shake your head.

“Who’s pathetic now?” he mocks, grinning, letting his wand trail a cold path down your neck, over your collarbone, until it rests on the top button of your uniform. “May I?”

The question sounds mocking, but he meets your gaze and you know he’s honestly asking for permission. And you give it to him, nodding, even as your blush deepens. Draco undoes your buttons, one by one, with tiny flicks of his wand, until your shirt is fully unbuttoned and you’re exposed to his gaze.

Draco shoves his wand into his belt and pushes your bra out of the way with an almost laughable urgency, getting a full, appreciative look at your breasts. “So fucking pretty,” he murmurs. “Shame they belong to such a fucking headache, hm?”

You grumble some sort of an insult, and Draco pinches a nipple, which shuts you up effectively. “That’s what I thought.”

His hands trail down to your skirt, and instead of undoing the button he leans down and scoops the fabric up. “Here, be good and useful and hold this for me.”

The indifferent praise and the degradation combined has you obeying immediately, hoisting your skirt up and baring yourself to him, which only adds to an eddying swirl of shame and arousal pooling in your gut. Draco looks at you, stares, really, and it’s with a predatory grin that he reaches over to caress you through your panties.

“Soaked,” he observes, sounding both amused and satisfied. “You always get off this much to being treated like a right slut, then?”

“Draco,” you whine, bucking your hips up into his almost phantom touch. “Come on.”

“Is that how we ask nicely?” Oh, this bloody git. You’ll never be able to look at him again—he’s going to be so fucking smug around you.

When you don’t answer, he withdraws his touch completely, and you make a sound of protest. “No, no, please.”

“Go on.”

“Please touch me,” you try, but it’s hard to focus when you’re so goddamn wet you’re soaking through your panties.

“Not quite,” Draco muses. He’s palming himself through his trousers, and the sight turns you on impossibly more. “Come on, then—convince me.”

“Draco, please touch me,” you beg. One of your hands drift down to your panties but he slaps it away immediately, shooting you a warning look. “Please!”

“Touch you where?” He wants you to say it.

“Touch my cunt, please, Draco, fuck, I’m so wet it hurts,” you beg, and it’s true—you’re aching with arousal, and if he doesn’t touch you within the next few seconds you think you really just might combust. “Please, please touch me, I’ll be good, I’ll do whatever you want, just touch me.”

“If only the school could see you now,” he sneers, but even he seems to break his self-control and he tugs your panties down harshly, all but ripping them off. “Baring yourself to me and begging to be touched like a whore.”

“I’m not—oh,” you gasp, his fingers pressing into your cunt immediately and his thumb working on your clit, sending waves of pleasure so potent you almost double over. His fingers are long and thin, which is why he can press two in without preamble, and the stretch is barely noticeable.

“You’re not what? A whore?” Draco laughs. “Please. Look at yourself.”

“’m not,” you insist, but you clench around his fingers at his words and he raises an eyebrow.

“I think you’re lying.” He presses a third finger in and you whine, little sounds of pleasure escaping your lips as he works you open. “Quieter, now, or I’ll have to gag you.”

You bite your lip, and Draco thumbs your clit as a reward and incentive. “Now, tell me what you are. Be truthful, or I won’t fuck you. I’ll leave, leave you here with your shirt hanging open and your skirt up, the doors wide open. Maybe the next bloke who stumbles in might help you.”

Your eyes widen—he wouldn’t. But his gaze is dead serious. “Say it.”

“I’m a whore,” you breathe, and he thrusts his fingers into you, hitting that right spot. “Draco!”

“Say it louder,” he orders, angling his fingers and curling them.

“I’m a whore,” you moan out, bucking your hips upwards—you’re close, you’re so close. “Draco, I—”

He stops moving, and his other hand pinches your clit harshly. “No.”

You let out a gasp of shock and hurt, reeling from the denial and pleasure. “But—”

“You’re not fucking coming until I say so,” Draco hisses, undoing his belt and pushing his trousers down. “And I’m not saying so until I properly fuck you into a bloody wreck.”

His cock is already hard, and he positions himself right at your entrance. You can feel him, his tip pressed against your wetness, but not pushing in. “Draco—”

“I think,” he muses, and you want to scream, “one day I’ll drag you into a broom closet. Fuck your throat so hard you won’t be able to talk for the day. You’ll look pretty, don’t you think?”

“Please—”

“Or I’ll bring you back to my dorm, so I can fuck you until you’re screaming yourself hoarse,” Draco says thoughtfully. “Your dorm works. So long as I can ruin you.”

“Malfoy—”

“Because it’s just so—” and he pushes into you in one swift movement, fucking into you immediately with a fast and rough rhythm, “—fucking nice to see you being a slut for me.”

“Fuck!” You grind your hips along with his rhythm, feeling the tightness of your cunt around his cock, and you clench as he hits your sweet spot with the right angle, almost shaking with the pleasure that it gives you.

Draco groans your name, fucking you brutally as he chases his own release, already pent-up from the teasing and the sight of your wrecked state. “’m gonna come on your tits, would you like that? Get it all fucking messy, maybe get some into your mouth, get you fucking ruined?”

“Please, please, fuck, please let me come,” you plead him, feeling your impending orgasm barrel towards you—you couldn’t last, you can’t fucking last—

“Fucking hold it,” Draco snaps. “Hold it like a good fucking girl, you understand?”

You let out a mournful sound, but you nod—yes, I’ll be good, I’ll be good, please—

“Salazar, I’m fucking close,” Malfoy breathes into your ear, his voice rough and strained. “You feel so good, love, so bloody tight.”

“Please,” you whimper, not even sure what you’re pleading for at this point. Draco exhales shakily and curses, pulling out and pushing you to your knees with such a force that you drop down, your skirt being the only padding.

“Wh—?” you try to ask, but Draco is already pumping his cock and then he’s coming all over your face, some of it dripping down to paint your breasts as he’d promised. Draco leans down to gather some release on a finger and pushes it into your mouth, eyes darkening as you suck and swallow around it.

“Good girl,” he praises, and you almost come right there.

“Draco, please,” you beg, still on your knees and still absolutely fucking desperate for release that he’s been denying you for the past half hour. “Please let me—”

“Alright, spread your legs, c’mon,” Draco guides, and you obey and then he’s there, thumb rubbing steady circles around your clit and two fingers pushing inside you once more. You whine and grind into his fingers, his touch, hips following his movement as he pushes you closer—closer—

“Fuck!” you sob as he senses your impending orgasm and stills his hand. “No—no, why?”

You sound like a petulant child and Draco laughs at you, and it’s an unfair move and a mean sound but it somehow turns you on even more. “I’m just messing, sweetheart.”

Fuck you, you badly want to say, but somehow you feel like that won’t get you what you want.

Draco starts moving again, his fingers gaining speed, and the sound of them pumping in and out of your soaked cunt sounds delightfully dirty. You’re quickly pushed to the edge again, and amidst your pleasure you eye Draco distrustfully.

“Please,” you whisper, and he smirks at you.

“Well, since you asked so nicely.”

And he thumbs your clit and you’re coming, gasping with the pleasure and shaking as he eases you through it. His fingers don’t stop moving, even after your orgasm has faded, and you squirm in discomfort as he overstimulates you.

“Stop—please—”

“Promise me you won’t be a bloody pain again,” Draco levels at you, and you want to glare back but his fingers curl inside of you and you yelp with pleasure and pain. “Promise me, or I’ll keep going.”

“I—I won’t be a pain,” you mumble, trying to squeeze your thighs together to get rid of his touch, but he perseveres, flicking your clit mercilessly.

“Say you’ll be good.”

“I’ll be good,” you manage, so close to sobbing from the frustration. “Please, Draco, I’ll be good, be good for you, please stop.”

He relents and you feel him draw his hand back. You close your eyes and you hear him tug his trousers back on, buckling his belt. You feel strangely empty without him—without his fingers, his cock, his touch.

Draco produces a handkerchief from his pocket and wipes the sweat, drool, and cum off your face, helping you button your shirt back up as well. “You alright?”

“Never better,” you reply, opening your eyes to see him staring at you in concern, all traces of the cruel tease earlier gone. Outside, the sun is setting, casting orange hues into the classroom, and you suddenly remember. “I—oh, bloody hell, I have to arrange the desks for Lupin—”

“I’ll do it. Stay here.”

Draco stands up and takes out his wand, flicking it twice in quick succession. A wordless spell. As you watch, the desks and chairs slide back to where they used to be, neatly arranging themselves in rows.

You’re impressed as he comes back. “What spell is—hey!”

He’s flicked his wand once more and torn your panties clean off your legs.

“Draco—what in Merlin—”

“A souvenir.” Malfoy smirks, stuffing your soaked panties into the pocket of his trousers. “And payment for the desks.”

“You’re a bloody prick,” you say, leaning your head back against the wall.

“Careful now, love. Remember what you promised.” Draco’s tone is playful, but warning. “I’m a man of my word, so you should choose yours carefully. Next time I won’t be as gentle.”

Caught off-guard, you can only nod obediently, which seems to please him. But you can’t promise you won’t slip back into old habits the very next day. Whatever the case, one thing was clear—there would almost certainly be a next time.

------

Requests & asks are open! Here is the guide on requests, if you'd like to check that out first. Hope you enjoyed!

[theseerasures]

While you're doing reactions, if you're up for it, how are you feeling about all the finale predictions you made on March 23? By my count, you scored pretty well!

hooooooo boy (the alluded post, for those just catching up)

how i feel about my predictions is that...you’re right and i scored pretty well, but much like the characters doing right in the episode itself, it didn’t matter. part of the reason why the finale made me feel so much--why i loved it, despite still being emotionally hungover from ugly affect--is because i WAS right, but i was so often right but wrong on a smaller scale, or right but wrong because i completely misunderstood the overall thematic stakes, or in one case right but in such a phenomenally cruel and roundabout way that i’m still reeling from it.

more detailed breakdown under the cut (as in “let’s unpack this,” and as in “i have an emotional breakdown”):

WHERE I WAS MOSTLY RIGHT

Team Green, Yang, the non-Robyn Happy Huntresses, Klein and the non-combatant Schnees were gimmes from the beginning, even the ones of whom we didn’t have visual confirmation by the end of Worthy.

Pietro and Maria are still MIA so i’m putting them here, but...Winter’s gonna have to tell Pietro, when he shows up again.

Cinder and the Relics i was correct about, but even though i knew going in that she would win i didn’t imagine the scale of her victory. mostly because i thought she might have learned some self-discipline and just skedaddled with the Relics in an attempt to trap as many people as possible in superhell, but a) she didn’t, and b) she won without needing to.

Salem, Watts, and Ironwood are where i predicted, but i think part of me really bought into the fan theory that maybe Salem would want to keep Atlas around. both Watts and Ironwood lasted much longer through the episode than i expected because i was working from that assumption, but with the direction the episode actually took it makes perfect sense that they exited the stage as Atlas fell--they are, after all, twin architect-destroyers of Atlas. brains and brawn.

Nora ended up in Vacuo, but she’s...uh, not happy about it. not that i expected her to be happy, but this is much much worse. og JNPR is now JUST Renora, and much as i love freewheeling modular megazord JNPR, that’s gonna hit like a truck. last time they lost someone Renora were consciously trying to play supportive teammate to Jaune, who’d just lost his partner, and Nora especially also had to talk Ren off the edge with the Kuroyuri stuff. i expect they’ll swap the dynamic this time, especially since Nora was already planning to go all independent woman before this.

Qrow, Robyn, and the AceOps are stranded, but in transit and not in Mantle, because Mantle the place is no more. and Vine is dead. the reason i posited that the AceOps might be split up was so they could find their team dynamic after it’s been unsettled, and...well. having one of them do a heroic sacrifice should do a similar trick. because i didn’t think Atlas would fall on Mantle i thought Qrow and Robyn (particularly Robyn) would get more to do, but both of them are pretty much exactly in the same place they were in at the beginning of the season: trapped in a cramped environment, cut off from the people they love and uncertain what happened to them, and unable to contribute in a way that they would consider meaningful. i’m guessing we won’t check back in with this crew for a while, but if we do it’ll be interesting to see if the Qrow and Robyn dynamic changes--like, if he has to be the one to talk her down from cabin fever and despair. (before he finds out that he was the one who should have been despairing all along.)

WHERE I WAS MOSTLY WRONG

Neo is in superhell. i had put her in Atlas because i’d overestimated Cinder’s ability to play the long game, but what the show ultimately doubled down on was that Cinder remains at heart a petty and impatient opportunist, and that’s where she’s most effective. which i dig! i dig that she has not so much improved (in means or ends) so much as learned to hold the beneficial and detrimental parts of herself farther and farther apart, because in the end they’re all the same parts, and because presumably she’ll end up starfishing out so much (who knew the way she took care of Winter’s death pigeons was foreshadowing?) that she breaks in two. and i dig Neo in superhell without Cinder, because it’ll be our first chance to see Neo not working for anyone outside of that one time she fought Cinder. if superhell does end up being part afterlife, she might also get some closure with the Torchwick stuff.

Jaune being in superhell points to it being part afterlife, because the chance for HIM to get some closure is also right there. that was always the case, but the reason i made the prediction i did was because i assumed that Jaune would remain the person he has been this whole season--this stolid, clueless but incredibly effective supporting leader. having a Jaune who is at the top of his game meet up with Pyrrha again is obviously appealing, especially to me, a person who scribbles misshapen hearts labeled “Arkos = 5evr” on all my notebooks, but at the time i didn’t think it was necessary to his story...and then the story dramatically shifted his character and threw all my carefully hedged bets off (which is something we’ll also get to with...later).

having a Jaune who has just effectively EUTHANIZED someone meet up with Pyrrha again isn’t just appealing--it’s vital. and it’s vital because the exact parameters of how and why Jaune ended up having to kill Penny is a point-for-point echo and escalation of the way the Amber to Pyrrha transfer was supposed to go. last time Jaune Arc was party to a Maiden transfer process he had no idea what was going on, and he tried to intervene when he worked out that whatever Oz was doing was going to hurt Pyrrha, and that however minute thing contributed to Pyrrha’s death and the Fall of Beacon. this time it’s not just that he knows what’s going on and the stakes of it. it’s not even just that he is the Ozpin operating the Aura Transfer machine. it is that there is no machine--there is just him, holding the knife. he knows the Amber better than the Pyrrha this time, and this time the Amber is his friend, and still whole, and choosing. not just consenting, but asking him. trusting him. so he carries it out. the old Maiden dies, and like Ozpin he dies shortly after, but not before he watches the new Maiden fail.

but he does prevent history from repeating, because a new Maiden is created, and she gets to live. and Cinder Fall has made him a murderer on top of everything else, but she WILL remember him, now.

there are other people i was wrong about, but that’s...for later.

WHERE I WAS RIGHT AND IT DIDN’T MATTER

Ruby, Blake and Weiss are all in superhell, so on paper i was right, but...well. sing it if you know the words. the reason i’m putting them in their own section is because it’s not just that they fell and didn’t jump like i thought; it’s that they would not have jumped, and that changes everything. you know how i realized that we would lose everyone, and not by choice? it was Weiss. it was when Weiss said we have to do this for Yang. Jaune had reminded Nora of what was priority one minutes before, but the implications of that didn’t sink in for me until Weiss confirmed it. they PLANNED for this. not just the eventuality where they would have to die, but the one where they’d have to watch everyone else die and do nothing except keep going.

which...has implications. the best way to read this--and i think we’re all dying for some good news--is that even if it certainly does not feel that way, RWBY was able to snatch a partial victory from Salem’s claws. they lost the Relics, but they got the Maiden powers away, and most importantly: they saved Atlas and Mantle. by the time Jaune intervened Grand Central was empty. there was no one left to evacuate. they didn’t get everyone, but they got a lot. even before Cinder intervened so catastrophically they knew how many things could go wrong, so they made a plan, and largely stuck to it. on a purely material level they only lost one thing vital to the war effort--the Staff. but they got everyone else out, which was priority one. the show in general and this arc in particular has emphasized that our heroes don’t think they should be exceptionalized, that they’ll fight tooth and nail to make sure everyone is given the treatment and respect they deserve, and they’ve made good on that. they’re Huntresses, and Huntresses be thou for the people. they chose, and they won what mattered to THEM.

but on the flip side: they chose, and there’s no way to read this choice as anything but a compromise...and a very Atlesian one at that. when confronted with calculus similar to the one JYR faced after they lost Oscar in War, our heroes chose...the opposite. one, then three, then four, then five, then six for the many. what was that number compared to two entire cities’ worth of people, especially when they’re the ones who signed up for this? i’m not trying to take this down the slippery slope where our heroes are no better than the dictator they just dethroned, because when the time came for sacrifice they chose themselves first. but it remains a sacrifice, which means that when the time came to test the hard moral limit they set for themselves, they...moved. they decided ahead of time that some risks aren’t worth taking. that this is not a situation where everyone wins, so they had to go for the next best thing, then the next best thing after that, and so on. i’m honestly not sure where it points to yet, except my usual refrain that this show is a lot less didactic than it seems, but...yeah. this is going to lead to some invigorating discussions in-universe.

and maybe it’ll start with this: that Jaune and Weiss--the two who had to verbally advocate for leaving the fallen behind--fell last of all, which means they had to watch everyone else go first. and the last person they saw was the same person. Weiss, who executed the plan to brilliant perfection, saw the past--the first family she ever had--streaking after her in an endless void, forsaking the priorities they all agreed upon, for her. Jaune, who followed the plan to execution and broke a part of himself, saw the new Maiden he crowned, backlit and pulled away by the bright future that he ensured was possible, but can no longer access.

QUEENMAKER

i’m starting with Penny, because Penny came first. there has already been a ton of discussion on the ways that she’ll come back, and while i absolutely agree that she will, for now i am not so much interested in that as i am in eulogizing this Penny. the Penny we had just now, not identical but continuous with the Penny we had before that, in the same way that everyone is not identical but continuous with who they were in the past. the Penny who IS dead, her eventual resurrection notwithstanding.

because she DID die, and her death matters. that’s the thing about the deaths in this season, and it furthers my point re: RWBY’s presumed didacticism--the show’s treatment of death has changed as our heroes have changed. it is no longer (and never was) as simple as “death and sacrifice are always senseless waste,” and more something like...”death has to matter, and we will give it meaning.” Hazel and Vine sacrificed themselves, and the fact both resulted in a “positive” outcome (more lives saved) does not make the deaths any less tragic. but neither should the tragedy of it take away from the fact that they saved lives. what separates our heroes from a Salem or a James Ironwood even now is that they recognize the importance of grievable life even as they accept inevitable death, that what is worth it all about preserving life is not to make sure that lives go on forever, but that lives have meaning and are remembered, that when you’re gone the people who are still here respect you enough to carry that meaning with them. it’s a tenuous balance to walk, but all the more important for that reason.

Penny--though her death can and will be reversed--is much the same. in every arc there has been a Game of Three Maidens (which i guess would make shogi the better metaphor and not chess because--what AM i on about), and in every Game there has been sacrifice. and i thought that would encompass Winter, here. we’d get away with it not being literal death, since Fria already took care of that, but she would be trapped on the other side of the gate--in pretty much the exact same position James Ironwood ended up in the episode itself, actually. it just seemed obvious: she’s the decoy, the one who missed the call by inches, the last revealed defector when there still was an Atlas from which to defect. all of it pointed to Winter’s story ending with one last delay barring her from salvation, of her finally being too late...

and well. i WASN’T wrong in the broad strokes, but first there was Penny Polendina. Penny could have let Jaune try to save her and Weiss die for her, but she knew she had to make a different choice to save as many lives as possible. so she offered herself up as the sacrifice instead. last week i waxed prolonged poetic about how Winter defected so recently, how it has been just IronwoodandWinter for so long, how Winter doesn’t have a team and only the healing shreds of a family, how no one would think to look for her...and then Penny did. you were my friend. (given Winter’s rough age and the hazy creation dates for the PENNY Project, it’s possible that Winter is Penny’s OLDEST friend.) Penny thought of Winter as she was dying, thought about the good Winter could do if Winter had her powers, believed in Winter, and in doing so, saved Winter’s life before anyone else’s.

she ceded the spotlight to Winter in this last episode, but this season as a whole belongs to Penny Polendina--the myriad ways she creates herself, the ways she defends her self-creation, ultimately culminating in her new body, created by no one but herself. but for her final act the Maiden of Creation did something different and no less miraculous: i thought of you. a thought was all it took.

she created someone else.

KINGSLAYER | THE MAIDEN THAT WAS PROMISED

the thing about Winter is that she came first.

no, i’m serious. i checked the fairy tale and everything--Winter came first. as the Wizard’s first visitor she encouraged him to reflect and meditate, and when probed about why she was here at all, she answered: i am waiting for my sisters. Spring and Summer have to wait, too, of course, but. Winter was the first.

Jacques and Willow named their firstborn Winter. it is not the way this story begins, but it is certainly is one of them, because the story begins with Winter, and Winter begins the story--a new retelling, a new cycle of heroism. we’ve since been introduced to other characters in that indeterminate age group between RWBY and STRQ, but Winter--by virtue of being Weiss’ older sister--anchors herself to the new generation in a way those others (even Cinder, who comes closest) do not. she started things, in the mythical emblematic way that this show likes to move, and the way she started things--the way she MADE herself start things, thanks to the house she grew up in--was with love, and protection. she took care of Weiss and laid the groundwork for the person Weiss is today, and conversely: she took care of Weiss, and through Weiss, laid the groundwork for herself and how to take care of everyone. so eventually the steel thread she tied to Weiss she also linked to Whitley, to Penny, to Marrow, to all the people they love, and on and on it goes. Winter loved Weiss, so she made herself learn how to love Weiss, and so when i say she started things what i mean is she started family. a new home, for a new generation of the orphaned.

Winter came first. but as the show demonstrates time and again, especially with Winter: first does not mean best. because being first also means you’re the prototype, a volatile thing that must be tested and tempered and then discarded to make way for what comes after, what gets improved. and it is THIS part of being first that Winter has internalized most of all. Winter, the first Maiden, taught the Wizard peace and prepared the earth so that her sisters could grow and foster and harvest the life within it; Winter, the first Schnee, laid the groundwork in her siblings, but did not wait for them. and let herself fallow in the process. she left, and every time they tried to follow or stay with her she sent them away. (she keeps sending them away; even after defecting and taking down Ironwood, the first thing she says to JNPER is go.) Winter laid the first stone in the foundation, but she cannot take credit for the home her family turned it into, for all the ways it has flourished, because she willfully absented herself of that (birth)right.

and the reason she did this was very simple: she was afraid. she could not bear the thought that while she had to learn how to love she made mistakes, the idea that instead of preparing the earth she might have poisoned the well. so she ran. she turned her face away so she would not have to look, so they would not look to her. she left, and every time one of her siblings superseded her after that, every time she was made to be their Esau--passed over--it just seemed to confirm that she was right to leave. look how well they’ve all done without her.

in the stories, eldest siblings aren’t here to win. they’re here to be made an example of, and Winter...had resigned herself to that. she was prepared to be left behind for good by all the people who have outpaced her.

but then there was Penny Polendina. Penny didn’t follow her, or try to stay; Penny came back for her. Penny remembered Winter when all Winter wanted was to be forgotten, because she’d gotten it in her head that it was what she deserved for all the things she’d done or enabled or failed to do. why did Penny remember Winter? because you were my friend. there is no divine complexity to it, nothing for Winter to fall hopeless short of. there is only the fact that Winter gave Penny something, made something together with Penny, even as she was trying her hardest not to, for fear that she would create something terrible. and this does not take away from all the ways Winter did fall short, but it is still SOMETHING. and it is enough.

it was your power, after all. Penny means the Maiden powers, but she also means THIS Maiden’s power: the power to create. you made this home, Penny is saying to Winter, you should get to reap its fruit, even if you weren’t around for the labor. all you have to do is say yes.

this was a gift. she says yes. she accepts, because in the end Winter Schnee loves her family more than she hates herself.

but then--

(a gift for what? Winter will ask herself wretchedly later, after she has failed in the two tasks she thinks Penny set for her.)

the thing about Winter is that she came first. she taught Weiss everything she knows, and she was so busy doing that she never had the time to show Weiss everything she feels. so in the end what Weiss never predicted was that for all of her team’s painful planning, for all of her own pained enforcement of that plan...none of it was a match for her sister. that when the time came it was would be WINTER who defaults to the absolute ideal of “no one gets left behind,” of “every life” meaning every life, priority one be damned.

or that Winter, in trying to choose both, in finally and fiercely trying, with surely enough power to make a difference, would fail.

what are you doing? Winter heard as she watched Weiss fall into nothingness. my life doesn’t matter.

so here, then, is the story of Winter in The Final Word: a girl returns home after having left it, but in this version it is the home who has changed and the girl who has not. and from this both are unmade. but she gets to live, because she was invited back home. and she gets to go through the portal as its last passenger, into the Promised Land.

and she is still the Maiden of Creation. even after all this, THAT is still her task. to build a refuge for her people, to collect the broken strands of the family she began and her siblings continued and expanded and reinforced, and gather them up again into a new home. it will be impossible, but at the same time: she has done this before.

and this time, she will wait for her sisters.

(a gift for what? for nothing, would be the answer. gifts aren’t FOR anything. they’re gifts.)

[ladykf-writes]

as promised i am once again in your inbox.. can you tell us more about benji please! maybe a character introduction of sorts? what are things he values, what are things he likes or does that people never expected of him? what are some parts that shaped him into the man he is today? feel free to go into as much or little detail as youd like!

BENJI MY BOI. I would be happy to babble about him (again, as Tumblr ate my first post >_>)

A quick rundown of his history:

Benjamin Richards was born the oldest of five kids in the Midgar Slums, and as both parents were working, spent a lot of time running herd on the youngest three / helping raise them until he was 14. When he was 14, of course, he was old enough to apply for the ShinRa army (SOLDIER wasn’t open to the public yet) and got in. He was in the army for two years until SOLDIER opened to the company and he was offered a very persuasive sign-on package to leave the army and join the fledgling department. Given he was also sending every gil he could spare home, the higher pay was very, very persuasive even if he wasn’t exactly the sort of adrenaline junkie to be sold on the promise of adventure and superhuman skills. (He was, of course; he still is.)

For those wondering, yes, later they’d consider 16 too late to take on new SOLDIERs, but at the time they were still trying to fill the ranks and were therefore a little lax on requirements. Around that same year, he met some very important people - most importantly, Andrew “Drew” Morrison who would go on to be his best friend.

Benji was incredibly skilled with magic, also happened to have fantastic aim as a sniper which translated to his work with lightning to make him breathtakingly precise even at a distance. He was also good with a sword, fast on his feet and even faster in his mind to give him a phenomenal reaction time. He had a habit of creatively combining magic with traditional combat that made him a very successful wildcard.

(more under the cut)

Unfortunately, Benji struggled with a temper problem and a foul mouth, so these skills that may sound quite familiar did not make him a poster boy for SOLDIER. There was someone younger, prettier, and far more socially promotable so the position went to Genesis - something that Benji will always be grateful for, frankly; he does not want to public, not even for SOLDIER. He was a little salty that it hung up his promotion from Second to First (no one would confirm this) but at the same time, did still make it to First at the height of the war, likely on Sephiroth’s recommendation as they worked together for some time. He also worked with Genesis some, but it was generally considered a waste of resources to pair two such similar fighters together.

As far as the canon timeline is concerned, I consider Benji as being stationed in Wutai during the events of Crisis Core to help keep things ‘in line’ (as in keeping ShinRa’s status quo) which was not a job he enjoyed. Sometimes he wonders, if he’d only been there, if only someone had been there that wasn’t involved to shake some sense into the trio, if things might not have gone the way they did.

what are things he values, what are things he likes or does that people never expected of him?

Benji values loyalty, and he values the ability to get the job done with as little collateral as possible. He loves kids, likes animals (adores chocobos) and likes sour foods. He also loves books, but prefers audiobooks because they're easier to process for him.

I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that no one would guess that he dances (no, really, I do mean ballroom) and skates (rollerblades) both of which have no small part in his excellent footwork in combat.

what are some parts that shaped him into the man he is today?

Oh man... I think growing up with four siblings and feeling a strong responsibility to help provide for them had a huge bearing on who he is now. If asked "do you want a family" (yes kinda?) his answer would be to laugh and wave around him to the SOLDIER floor and say "have you seen how many brothers I have?"

Before you ask, yes that includes Sephiroth. Benji at the ripe old age of 16 looked at 13 year old Seph and said "is no one going to be a big brother to this child?" and didn't wait for a response.

I also think the Wutai War had a big shaping factor because post-war he has to come to terms with the fact that a lot of what he was ordered to do was just wrong, morally wrong, and it hurts. He's still the sassy badass he always was post-Wutai, but I'm just saying that if there had been a group of vigilantes that cared more about avoiding civilian casualties than AVALANCHE (either of them) he might have left ShinRa to fight. As it was, he viewed them as no better and stayed put to protect those he could. Was it right? Maybe not. But they're his family.

-throws feels like confetti-

I hope that gave you some food for thought! Askbox is ever open.

[palmett-hoes]

YES. Oh my God you explained perfectly the logic behind Neil getting tattoos. I get that people think tattoos fix Andrew's "aesthetic" more cause he wears all black and all but tattoos nowadays are popular and not really a thing that only alternative people get. Anyway -> if Neil got tattoos, do u have an hcs for what he might?

yea the more i think about it the more i really like the idea of neil getting tattoos. and who knows, maybe if his boyfriend starts to get covered andrew will take an interest too. i mean you're right, it does fit his aes. maybe he gets some matching tattoos with the love of his life

WHAT neil would get tho? oh there’s so many factors to consider

i see him having a similar ideology about it as i do, that his tattoos are to memorialize significant people and events in his life. most importantly though, they’re just,, to make him feel good about himself, so they’re all of happy memories, even if some might be bittersweet

it’s also not about full-coverage. he’s fine if his scars are still visible under the tattoo and probably isn’t going to try to religiously cover every single one. it’s about having something good on his body that he chose to put there to combat but not necessarily blot out the bad things done to him against his will

he tends to collect smaller individual pieces rather than large scale work and he’s not committed to a specific style, so his collection is a bit random and eclectic. but in terms of the style generally drawn to very kinesthetic art with a lot of movement and fluid lines, but also angular and hard-edged. i don’t think he’s color-averse and definitely not a strict black-and-gray guy, but at the same time i can’t see him doing like super super bright color work. he goes for darker, more saturated colors, like jewel and natural tones. also of course i see him as brown skinned so you need to approach color work differently anyway

in terms of what he actually GETS, i don’t really have a lot of opinions on placement or like,, what tattoos should cover which scar, but have some random ideas i think he might get

he has a large piece (like maybe a sleeve or thigh) that’s dedicated to his time on the run, but the good parts. it’s a mix of a lot of images and very chaotic, drawing from like,, the french cafe where his most first bought him a cup of coffee and cottage safehouses in the alps in summer and where they had room to stretch their legs and run and chase each other and hustling three card monty in dubai with his mom and diners in the pacific northwest that sold the best fruit pies

he of course gets a lot of tattoos for the foxes, definitely at least one straight-up fox. tiny pawprints are his go-to filler pattern

he has everyone’s signatures somewhere on him, maybe with a tattoo of the Championship trophy being hoisted up by a group of hands. he also has small individual pieces that memorialize each of them individually

definitely got several exy sticks and various other pieces of gear scattered in various places. dark stadium chairs leading down to a brightly lit exy court

andrew is probably his biggest inspiration. he has the photograph of them together in the airport turned into a silhouette like a victorian cameo. a ring of keys; this one might go on the back of his neck. a tire track skid mark. a skeleton sitting on a roof against a sunrise. andrew’s hand sparking a lighter. the only reason he doesn’t have a full portrait is bc andrew says he’ll leave him if he does it

a rabbit skull overgrown by moss and vines and flowers.

he gets a rook and knight chess pieces tat because kevin says that’s what he and andrew would be

he gets some small cheeky ones too. things like a line of script that says “you should see the other guy” with a gun running under a nasty scar or a skeletal arm broken in half

once he starts to really establish who he is and flesh himself out as a person he gets some that don’t necessarily have a lot of meaning but that he just likes the look of because he has the luxury of having opinions on art now

i don’t necessarily know if i want him to cover his facial scars, but i think that’s mostly because i don’t like facial tattoos very much, especially ones located where neil’s scars are. that’s just a personal preference though. however, i think the idea of a minimalist, abstract take of just like,, adding color to the scars might be nice. something like well-saturated brushstroke work

(addendum: an au or something where all neil’s scars are just covered in abstract brushwork would be so fucking beautiful. like this but full-body holy shit)

(i just don’t think it really fits him in canon to have a full-body tattoo scheme. also those would require so much long-term maintenance you’d have to get them redone like every 5 to 10 years)

he also doesn’t get them all at once, this is something he builds up over years. he also doesn’t want to rush it because he wants to stay open to memorialize things that will come in the future, because he has a future to wait for now

---

also i assume you probably want some reference photos too bc this can be a little hard to understand just as words, so here's some of my reference images under the cut

they’re more of a stylistic reference than a content reference. also - as in all things - this will of course also tell you a lot about my own personal taste in tattooing even though i try not to make it based ENTIRELY on what i like and try to factor in what i think neil would like

these were the tattoos that most inspired me about the tattoo idea for neil’s happiest memories with his mother. for some reason my gut really drew me towards architectural tattoos for it. i like the way the perspective on the left image is curved and confusing and it takes you a second to make sense of what you’re looking at. it reminds me a lot of an MC Escher drawing and that’s sort of the exact seeling of chaos and confusion that i think the tattoo needs. but then i was also really drawn to the soft colors of the right image (although they’d have to be adjusted somewhat for neil’s darker skin), because they’re so comforting, and i think that’s the sort of balance i’m looking for out of a tattoo for mary. so like,, compositionally like the left image but colored more like the right

literally every person who’s ever considered aftg and tattoos together HAS to offer up a fox tattoo it’s law. anyway these are mine. or well, the types i can see neil with. also, not aside from the foxes, these tattoos are really the best examples i can find of the angular, kinesthetic art style that i feel very strongly matches neil

inspo behind the tattoo of andrew’s hand with the lighter. also just a good simple style for smaller tattoos or filler tattoos

victorian cameos. inspiration behind both the silhouette tattoos of andrew and neil in the airport and the skeleton & the sunrise. both would be more than just the bust and the poses would be more fluid and they don’t need the brooch design outline. it’s really more of a starter reference or a jumping off point

neo-traditional tattoos. phenomenal style. strong lines and highly saturated color, super important both for a long-lasting tattoo and for tattooing on darker skin. they also just tend to have a certain composition i really like

this is the style i see the championship trophy tattoo, the chess pieces tattoo, the rabbit skull tattoo, and the ring of keys tattoo all in

---

okay i’m done now

thoughts?

[borathae]

Sibi, wow wow W O W! I don’t know what to say... first of all, the beginning was heartbreaking. JK really hit rock bottom... thank god for his sister and her seventh sense ❤️ she really saved him! Also can I just say I LOVE him opening up to her and trusting her with his struggles and fears :’) and her being so amazing and understanding! Showing him that he is loved and understood and that he has his support system ❣️ (and Yoongi being there for him as well, making sure he ate and throwing away his booze was so heart warming :) ) I just loved everything about it! That was very needed and I had (happy)tears in my eyes when I was reading it 🥺

Now, Lucky and Bunny... I’m pleasantly surprised that it was Lucky who came to his office (she finally initiated something and showed him she cares :’) ) also it only took them few days??? And they already thought everything through and came with solutions!! Wow (I just think I’m much more stubborn then them)! They have to be WHIPPED for each other (and also it means they really want to work things out and their relationship is important to them.. very sweet) 🥺

Tbh, the smut scene is my favorite so far! I’m just a sucker for a romantic missionary 😌 and the hand holding while doing it and looking at each other and Lucky’s “I adore you” aaaa that was a lot! But most importantly it was full of love and care and understanding and warm (when Bunny started tracing a heart shape on her clit it literally took my breath away because that gesture was so romantic and sweet 🥺)...

Now, my favorite part THE CONVERSATION... I’m just WOW! I just want to say that everything they said made sense and it wasn’t forced or rushed and it was just so THEM (and I salute you and you writing abilities for that!!)! I’m not gonna lie I was a little nervous for this chapter and I lowkey agreed with that anon who said that maybe it’s better for them to be friends but now I’m happy that they are together ❤️ I just want to say that this conversation was full of understanding and consideration and care and it was so informative and calm and it showed that they REALLY REALLY want to be together and want to be comfortable and open with each other and it’s just so amazing and I really don’t have words to describe my feelings well but it was perfect... also when Bunny asked if it has to be sex work I thought HE will be the one that suggest her to work as a bartender or something but it’s so much better that it was Lucky’s idea :’) and also the little things like Bunny telling her that she can have girls night.. it just shows he doesn’t want her to lose this part of her and he wants to be involved and embrace everything and everyone about her and her life! ❤️

And now they are finally in a committed relationship and they both want to work on each other and become better!!!! I love to hear that ❤️❤️❤️ That’s all I want for them :) now I kind of understand why you were so surprised and annoyed (I’m sorry I don’t have better words) at people having strong reactions about earlier chapter (myself included) BUT if I knew what will happen in this chapter I would be calm, cool and collected!! It was just hard to imagine how they would work things out but now everything makes sense again! Idk if you can say it but can you tell us if they’ll stay together till the end of the story? I know there will be some difficulties and problems but they won’t break up again, right? 🥺

ANYWAY, sorry it’s too long, BUT what I wanted to say it’s that this chapter was brilliant, phenomenal, show stopping, incredible, never done before, amazing and I’m just in awed! I think my heart is healed - thank you! ❣️ also, a while ago I’ve sent you a message that said that “they’re just two broken souls that heal each other” but now I think that they’re two broke souls that heal WITH each other! and I think that is even more beautiful!

Sibi, once again thank you so much for everything and take care of yourself! I hope life treats you well! 🥺❣️

(first of all that picture of Kook makes me cry, he is so cute pleaseee)

And second of all AAAH THANK YOU!! I LOVE YOU!!

I'm really happy that I was able to make you team Lucky+Bunny again jfasdjfj. Honestly those two just belong together and while their start may have been (very) bumpy, they can only become better from now on.

Also I promise you that they are not going to break up again. Those two are stuck together from now on 😏

Also listen, I feel you and your love for romantic missionary. Because SAME HAFHSDH like give me missionary with handholding and eye contact and I will literally ask you to marry me afterwards HAFHSDHF this was only partially a joke 👁👄👁

Also Family Min deserves the biggest hug ever in this chapter. Like :( please we love a sweet sister and her cute husband in this household :( also idk afjdsjf this is such a random rant, but I think it's really sweet how much Yoongi cares for the ex-secret-lover of his sister. idk he could be all awkward and a little distance around him (because you know, the whole situation is a lil awkward), but he still shows him that he cares about him and that he can count on him and I honestly think that this is beautiful 😔

Also OMFG PLEASE :((

They’re two broke souls that heal WITH each other.

I WILL LITERALLY CRY THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL!! PLEASE I LOVE THEM 😔😔💜

[blackcoffeeandblankpagess]

Law School Decision

Hello! I paid my seat deposit! I’m going to law school! And I know where! 

*screams*

I officially committed to UO (University of Oregon) this morning and I am SO SO SO SO SO SO SO excited. I was supposed to go visit Lewis and Clark last weekend which didn’t happen because of covid and they were holding online info sessions all week but honestly, I was hesitant to even watch all of them because I knew going to Oregon would not be a mistake and if anything, getting more info on L&C would just make my decision more confusing and harder (to be fair though, info sessions aside I have done extensive research on both schools). Plus I’ve already had a few weeks to sit on the idea of Oregon but I feel like if I were to change my mind now it would a bit too quick of a turnaround to really trust that judgement if I wasn’t 100% sure.

And! And!!!! Literally within 5 minutes of me submitting my seat deposit I got an email with an offer for the fellowship I interviewed for last week with the ENR (env. and natural resources) center, aka the environmental branch of UO law. It includes a stipend that, when combined with the merit scholarship I received, will actually give me a full ride, tuition covered (or like maybe just shy of that I have to double check but still!) but more importantly it means I’m going to be able to hit the ground running already involved in legal research and planning events etc. when I get there my 1L year which is a big! deal! They only offer 20 spots and most of them go to 2L and 3Ls because they have actual experience and at least a year of law school under their belts so...I’m proud of myself! There are 7 different disciplines under the fellowship and I got placed with my top choice (global environmental democracy) which is exciting!!!!!! Also they had no idea I had just committed there it was a total coincide in timing and made me feel like it was meant to be

Anyway- for anyone interested and for my own sake to look back on here are the details of my application experience

Accepted:

-UO

-Lewis and Clark

Waitlist

-Duke

-Georgetown

-NYU

-Boulder (this I’m pretty sure was just part of the game of ~you have higher scores and we don’t think you’ll actually come here~ because there is zero reason I should not have been accepted to boulder)

Rejected

-Berkeley (lol what)

-Harvard (understood)

-Columbia

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Honestly I felt super frustrated and beaten down by my admissions results. The first school I heard from was Duke and honestly I kinda felt like they played me. They emailed me saying they were super interested and wanted to offer me a special opportunity to apply (fee waived) and hear back in just ten(!) days with a decision. I was like wow! I was planning to apply to Duke anyway (their law site has a quote from david roche lol) so that had me hyped and when I got the waitlist result I was a little frustrated but not shocked. But then! I did some googling and it seems like people with much better stats than me had the same result because (from what I read) they might assume that you only applied BECAUSE of the special offer and fee waiver and that you don’t actually want to come and if you’re good enough for them then you’ll probably get into other good schools and not actually come, this concept is apparently a theme when it comes to law school acceptances which is just ugh. I read a lot of things online suggesting that if you get waitlisted at a school that’s your top choice to tell them they’re your top choice because they might just be waitlisting you assuming you’ll go to a better offer. smh smh smh

In the end though I am really, really glad things played out the way they did. I genuinely think UO will be the best choice for my mental health. AND on the academic side they have a phenomenal program. They have one of the top environmental law programs in the country, and one of the top legal writing programs which is a big deal! and I love the PNW! and I just really feel like I will thrive there. And I will not graduate in mountains of debt which is a nice plus.

I’m feeling really really excited. Also not sure if I mentioned this but Jared is officially going to MSU for his PhD and he also accepted a fellowship offer today! 

So anyway, you can bet your butt I bought a bottle of ~reasonably priced~ champagne and we will be having a happy hour this afternoon :)

@musingsoflulu @embracingwild please prepare for mountain adventures and cookie baking and pajama parties thank u

[lovinmullen]

the pacific: part one, live blog because i said so

he looked so pissed when he has to make the sign of the cross to mary..... I KNOW ITS BECAUSE HES FALLING AWAY FROM HIS RELIGION but all i can think is undercover protestant????? i hate that i find myself funny stfu tom like he’s some angsty protestant like ‘this is fucking bullshit why the fuck DO THEY PRAY TO MARY’ which..... is a huge missconsperion but i’m not gonna get into that right now but hey if anyone needs an rs teacher? i got you

are you telling me i could have heard the most BEAUTIFUL monologue about the saint mary’s church and her plans for the day as well as being able to see that sweet sweet smile on vera’s face for longer but it was cut short because bobo went ‘i joined the marines’ GOOD FOR YOU BUT.....

rOBERT...... you really gonna give her THAT look...... IN GODS HOUSE is this allowed? is THIS ALLOWED???? if you don’t say it in the voice of the vine we can not be fteejssn sorry i don’t make the rules

#BOB: i wanna catholic girl that go to church AND READ HER BIBLE (is that even right??? omg i can only remember the jewish one *in the voice of ryan reynolds severely slowed down* FUUUUUCCCKKK)

on a real note this man saw her at church ONCE and his ass went finna wife up like........ take her out to dinner first. OR AT LEAST ASK HER HOW SHE IS IN THE LETTERS like we get it you’re emo, the aussie won’t shag you anymore and you keep pissing your pants. i understand it’s a hard not life or how ever that song in annie goes but bro.........(this is obviously a joke i am dumb of ass please ignore me i love you m8 and i’m sorry you’re gonna embarrass yourself in front of everyone but chuckler shifts to momma mode so you good)

can we please acknowledge jon’s acting..... sir? PHENOMENAL he’s not even saying anything??? he’s just looking at the lt yet i’m near tears

gentle reminder i love the basilones🥺🥺🥺 the way they are so supportive even though they don’t understand and they are scared for him but they accept and respect that john wants more, needs more and they’re putting their own fears aside so he can spread his wings for no better turn of phrase.

‘just get the job done, and come home to us’ the way his head falls and he has to stop his voice from breaking. i’m s fucking bitter

THE HAND HOLD MY GOD

leckie:((( look hes a bastard and he pisses me off but no matter how much i bully him i do love him a lot and the complete disregard and uncaring nature from his dad breaks my heart. a handshake then gone just like that? HIS FACE BEFORE ‘there’s a war on everybodies got to make sacrifices’ he looks so hurt and broken baby

GENE MY SWEET SWEET BABY GOD THIS SO SAD ALEXA PLAY DESPACITO. my baby just wants to do his part :( CUT THE CAMERAS DEAD ASS I WILL CRY BABY PLEASE DON’T CRY JUST WAIT A FEW MORE EPS my heart really do be looking like: <eugene3

‘gene, supper’s ready’ ma’am i’m sorry but he does not give a shit

SIDNEY MY SWEET SWEET BOY get in a pram if you’re going to be so baby. look while i love him so much and i know he didn’t mean it to be !!!!! he’s just small of brain !!! but when he says “i wish we where going together” that lowkey rubs it in man......... like he’s already heartbroken PLEASE STOP but the “yeah well you take care of yourself greaser” - “you don’t have to worry about me” IM SOFT🥺

“wOWoWOoOOO COME ON GUYS I WORKED HARD FOR THESE ORANGES”

“guadal...kenel...guadal BLEEHHH” didn’t realise hoos was recreating the audience of my english speaking exam. LOOK I REALISE NOW TALKING ABOUT STOICISM TO A BUNCH OF 15 YEAR OLDS WHO DON’T CARE WAS A BAD IDEA BUT I GOT A DESTINCTION SO FUCK YOU TO THAT ONE KID

chuckler baby..... i’m in love with a dumbass. also the hit across the head. i’m soft (lads lets take a shot every time i say i’m soft in this liveblog ITS GONNA BE A FUN NIGHT jk drink responsibly and all that jazz or be dick winters that’s cool too!! heck do a babe heffron and get yourself a caprisun you deserve it)

“professor leckie” please don’t fuel his ego HE DOES NOT NEED IT

HOLD UP I NEED TO SWITCH FROM THE TV TO MY LAPTOP TO SCREEN CAP THIS SHIT LEW MY SON HAVE YOU BEEN BITING INTO AN ORANGE LIKE IT IS AN APPLE??? I WOULD BE MAD BUT HE LOOKS SO CUTE on a real note though can you eat the skin???? will he be okay?????

okay two hoos things: 1.) he looks SO DONE and i’m living for it 2.) can we talk about jacobs nose..... IM DYING TO TALK ABOUT JACOBS NOSE

okay the boats scene give me saving private ryan flashbacks i came out here to have a good time AND I AM NOT HAVING A GOOD TIME oh wait never mind runner just went ‘i could really use a stiff one right now’ i hate that but he saved the day with his dumbassery so thank you good sir i love you with all my heart

fun fact my how co ranking goes chuckler, runner, hoos, leckie

OH FUCK I FORGOT SID SJAKSJSJ y’know for someone who talks about how much they love sid i forget about him a lot. thank you for blessing my screen with your pretty face it helped me remember you exist LMAO guys my memory is not okay i’m actually concerned...... but more importantly i’d put him between hoos and leckie in the ranking :,)

call it what it is. babyism. y’all better stop before i cuddle you LOOK AT THIS SHIT THEY’RE ADORABLE

runner is the only bitch i respect in this house he’s so fucking funny

‘they’ve? poisoned? a? billion?! coconuts?’ that poor son of a bitch BLESS HIM don’t shoot the messenger okay? he seems like a sweet bean

that shot of hoos, leckie and chuckler looking down at the camera into the bunker? my sexuality. my left brain: tomas stop thirsting it’s an intense and serious show. my righ brain: but?? they’re pretty?? me nodding smugly and in agreement: BUT THEY’RE PRETTY.

THIS MAN AND HIS GUM I CAN’T why is that me. i am the gum man at my school that sounds so weird ajsksjsj i just always have gum. ALSO spearmint is superior to normal mint. NORMAL MINT BURNS LIKE ITS SPICY BRO. bubblemint is superior superior but that’s more expensive rip😭😭😭😭😭😭

‘it’s like the fourth of july’ nice to my boy sufjan getting some rep he is king of the gays after all mr i can’t explain the state that i’m in the state of my heart he was my best friend. we all owe him EVERY parallel on this goddamn app. jk there’s one other king of the gays and that is demon! shane (bfu). no this is not up for debate

the shot of the ships is phenomenal. that’s one thing i do have to credit hbo on. the special effects and cinematography are beautiful and so fucking impressive like???

‘we’re killing them’ - ‘where’s the navy?’ / ‘gone we lost four cruisers’ GOD I HAVE SUCH A LOVE HATE RELATIONSHIP FOR FORSHADOWING LIKE SOMETIMES ITS SO SEXY AND OTHER TIMES IM LIKE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GO AWAY

WHY DOES SID LOOK OVER HIS SHOLDER BEFORE TAKING THE WINE SIR NO ONE IS GONNA TELL YOU OFF AT WAR FOR DRINKING UNDERAGE like???? i don’t think an 18 year old having a swig is their biggest problem bless his heart

‘can’t fight em drunk don’t fight em at all’

bill if you are reading this i’m free on thursday night and would like to hang out. please respond to this and then hang out with me on thursday night, when i am free😌😘🥰😳🥺👉👈😤💘💓🙄🥴

FUCK I FORGOT HOW LOUD THE GUN SHOTS WHERE THINK I JUST WOKE THE WHOLE NEIGHBOURHOOD JC

‘skipper? skipper are you okay?? goddamnit he’s lost it come on’ :(((((

god the shots in this show really are phenomenal. i know it’s very gory and very hard to watch at times but it definitely has the best shots of the three en mi opinion. i’m a slut for the close up of dick screaming ‘move out’ with rounds flying. like who’s ever call that was? outstanding but like that’s just one? the pacific has so many emotive and excellently shot scenes.

JOG ON. STOP. IM SO SOFT IM GOING TO CRY THIS IS NOT OKAY. MOMMA CHUCKLER I CAN’T🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

how seemlessly the scenes flow one after the other despite being opposite ends of the spectrum i DID NOT GIVE TP ENOUGH CREDIT like yeah it makes me sad as fuck but from a production point of view the writing? the acting? the cinematography? DAMN

how visibly torn and pissed off hoosier looks over the other marines tormenting the japanese soldier, stringing out his death when he’s obviously in a lot of mental as well as physical pain? the only bitch i respect in this house.

okay so like? while the shot is scarring both for him and the audience to see that kind of effortless murder it was the right thing to do? it’s better then have him be tormented and it will help leckie in the long run? how broken he looks though? like the distance is his eye and the way he swollows....... WHO IS CUTTING ONIONS HUH???? brilliant james BRILLIANT

the way i just said ‘if biology would have permitted it i would be asking you to have my babies’ at the sight of a man shoving smokes up his nose....... now ladies theyzies and gents, a prime reason to show why you should do your work. this is tom. tom didn’t do his work. with nothing to do all day tom became bat shit..... don’t be like tom. okay like it is cute though COME ON

HOW PROUD AND SMUG AND HAPPY HE LOOKS AT HIS PREMOTION ‘yes ma’am i am a corporal’ HE IS SO BABY AND FOR WHAT. oops sorry lads looks like i dropped this:

the shot of leckie swimming in the water fading off to the shot of the dead bodies mirroring his movement but obviously a life less version OOOH IMMA SUE

god love me some men with black lungs LECKIE DO BE LOOKING GOOD LIGHTING THAT CIG DAMN

“i have a girlfriend lucky me” HOOS IS LIKE MY GAY ASS YOU SURE????

“you guys step aside the real marines are here now” “AND I’VE BEEN HERE FOR SOME TIME” that shuts iconic even i said wahayyyy

also runner..... i am looking RESPECTFULLY👁👁

you’re not special leckie we all want hoosier

sister👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

baby gene :,( YOU GINGER LIL BEBE I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH

can you really call yourself a hbo war an if you don’t sing along at the end... ITS A TUNE also hoos’ voice...... its about the drawl....... 

[chibimyumi]

Sorry this really isn’t an Ask, and you probably already received the news, but Furukawa is going to reprise his role as Death for the 20th Elizabeth anniversary!!! This time I will absolutely fight for a ticket!!! Lost this year, but I admit I didn’t try hard enough. Though actually now I do have a question, previously, in another post, you mentioned preferring Reika. Is there a reason for that? Sorry, since the ask isn’t really related to Furukawa, feel free to ignore it...

Dear Foreverheadintheclouds,

First of all, thank you very much for your sweet words. Though often very clumsily done, I put in a lot of time into the analyses, so I am VERY happy that you like them ^^

Aww no, it’s really sad that you did not manage to get a ticket. Don’t blame yourself too hard though; there were people who fought with every last cell of their body and still lost.

As for why I prefer Manaki Reika over Hanafusa Mari… well, it’s a very complicated story, but I shall try to keep it concise.

⚠️The following is STRICTLY my personal opinion formed on personal observation.⚠️

Hanafusa Mari

It’s not that I ‘prefer’ someone over Hanafusa, it’s just that she is one of my all time least favourite performers. Of course I GENUINELY LOVE Manaki Reika regardless of who is her double-cast, but through contrast the love I have for Manaki is even stronger.

Click ‘Keep reading’ for details.

As a Performer: One Trick Pony

In my opinion Hanafusa is very much a one trick pony. No matter what role she plays, she always has this fragility about her that I really don’t enjoy looking at. During interviews Hanafusa usually focuses a LOT on the tragedy, sadness or injustice that has been done to the character she plays, to the point of letting the tragedy be all there is to the character.

For ‘Marie Antoinette’ 2018 for example, there was an interview with Hanafusa and her double-cast, Sasamoto Rena. They both visited the places where Marie Antoinette lived and was confined. While Sasamoto emphasises how incredibly strong Marie must have been for always having lived in dignity and pulling through the circumstances however harsh, Hanafusa focused on how sad it was that a Queen born of royal blood had to live in such harsh circumstances, how everything was stripped from her, and how everybody slandered her. Of course what Hanafusa said was all what factually happened to the historical Queen, but it is very telling that Hanafusa would choose this aspect to make the main attribute of her character.

When the musical was playing, there was also very clear that these actresses used what they said as the core of their acting. This same thing applies to all of the roles I have seen done by her.

Hanafusa has played characters with strong sides, of course; but to me, every time she plays a ‘strong’ moment, that strength feels like nothing but a mask.

In short, I think she is quite a one trick pony, and that ONE trick happens to be something that is a bit of my pet peeve. I personally also do not enjoy performers where you always first see the person, and only then the character. I strongly prefer performers who can erase themselves and really ‘become’ the role.

24 Long Years

After more than two decades of playing Elisabeth, I am also really done with her portrayal of the historical Empress. In 1996 she started as the whimpering damsel in distress, and in 2016 she was… just that again. I hoped that in two decades someone would develop, but Hanafusa did not show me that. (I know this is my bias, but within ONE mere production, Furukawa already developed more sides to one character, than Hanafusa managed to in my opinion in two decades for MULTIPLE characters.)

At the beginning Hanafusa vocals were fine - never phenomenal though if you ask me. But lately the limits to her vocals are becoming more and more obvious.

As a Person: Attitude

Of course Hanafusa is the unofficial ‘Queen’ of the Musical world, and she has built a very steady fanbase over the past 20+ years. It is not for nothing that she is recognised as THE veteran by most people.

However, this status seems to have risen to her head quite a bit. Hanafusa very often gives off this haughty vibe. With  ‘1789′ she kept a superiour attitude against Ouki Kaname who played a female role (Marie Antoinette) for the first time. Ouki expressed how she found the role very challenging, but Hanafusa kept emphasising how that same role was super easy for her, because she has already played her over and over again in Takarazuka in multiple productions. (This again links back to the one trick pony part; it’s a different production. A different production would call for different approaches, right?)

Likewise with ‘Lady Bess’ Hanafusa kept saying stuff as though trying to convince her co-actress Hirano Aya that Bess was tragically stripped away from a life of romance, even though Hirano valued another aspect much more. And with ‘Marie Antoinette’ she kept throwing “but, buts…” at her co-actor whenever Sasamoto talked about her own interpretation.

But most importantly, her attitude when it comes to THE Grand Musical ‘Elisabeth’ is what I personally find the least charming. She is the first Japanese Elisabeth (Takarazuka 1996 - Japan premiere), and she seems to consider herself the most knowledgeable person in Japan about this production.

In both 2016 and 2019 when TOHO staged ‘Elisabeth’, former Top Tier actresses from Takarazuka were cast as Hanfusa’s double role (Ranno Hana ‘16 and Manaki ‘19) . Hanafusa kept giving them advice, such as: “beware of this, pay extra attention to that. Look, this is how I do it.”

On surface level it is a senpai looking out for her juniors, but to me they were all advice you would give someone who doesn’t have any experience at all, even though both Ranno and Manaki played Elisabeth in Takarazuka before. Even if they had not, then as graduated First Tier performers, I am sure they would have figured it out themselves.

But more importantly, Hanafusa was giving unsolicited advice. Usually junior actors would ask their seniors for tips if that is what they want, or seniors would give advice if the junior is clearly struggling. However, neither Ranno nor Manaki expressed that they needed any advice.

If this had been her attitude in just ‘Elisabeth’, well, there’s nothing wrong with being proud of having a 20 years history in this production. But I’m afraid that this is just what she’s always like.

Damsel in Distress

Lastly, what really does not help is her distressed attitude in most of her curtain calls. Hanafusa is usually crying and whimpering, and thanking the audience ‘for letting her play role X’. But in truth as an ‘Ogosho’, she never has to do any audition; she could walk into the office, demand the role to be hers, and it will be.

Hanafusa is also literally Imperial by blood. She is the descendant of the Daigo family - a branch family of the actual Japanese Imperial family. When she first started out in Takarazuka, she already had a HUGE sponsorship, and the sponsors she got were more impressive every year. Like I said above: I don’t consider any her skills as a performer phenomenal; they’re ‘pretty good’ at best. So what are the chances that her lineage has something directly to do with her position in Takarazuka and TOHO? (Note: Takarazuka and Imperial both belong to the same company) Takarazuka does have a history of having some EXCEPTIONALLY rich performers who happened to reach VERY high status despite having quite some……….obvious flaws, shall we say?

I think she is laying the ‘humble and fragile damsel’ act on VERY thick. But to me, I don’t see why she would be ‘fragile’ as she has life-long job security as TOHO’s ‘Ogosho’, and her ‘humble act’ is just something I don’t buy considering the attitude I described above.

[halliewriteshockey]

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[adrienaline-rushed-art]

(For the character ask) Adrien Agreste!!

YOU CHOSE MY SON! you’d better prepare your noodles because I’ve got a lot to gush about my favorite boy

Why I like them: From the beginning, he was my very favorite character because he was a weird combination of someone I was close to as well as myself. Although, over time it’s been more and more about relating to him as opposed to seeing someone else in him. At the time that he first became a reminder of someone special, he got me out of a depressive state, and continues to do so!

I love what a genuinely good listener he is. He’s very considerate and respectful, he puts others before himself— though, Ladybug can tell you why that is also a flaw. 

I like to think about the scenes in Horrificator when his classmates kept fighting, but he— one of the leads —didn’t make any input to take sides. Not even for Nino, his best friend! But he did look really upset to see his friends arguing

He’s also very forgiving and patient, I mean… as annoying as Lila can be, he actually tries to understand and help her. And what he said in onichan is implied to be correct based on the beginning of the episode.

He got it on the head, and not only for the sake of excusing bad behavior, he can relate. He knows he’s gone out of line because of his loneliness and abandonment issues. He excused Lila for the same reason in season 1

Defending Lila for lying about her relationship with Ladybug (See ‘Copycat’) 

He definitely understands what’s bad behavior (as opposed to Lila and Chloe, he does remain selfless and kind) and when he doesn’t he gets to use this sympathy as an opportunity for learning. But he also knows a cry for help when he sees one, he doesn’t want anyone to feel the way he does. 

The only real downside is it makes him a doormat for Lila, Chloe, and most importantly his father. But he’s learning and I’m so happy for him. 

he’ll accept a rough relationship for the sake of helping you be better through kindness until it hurts his loved-ones, where he absolutely has to cut you off. That’s one thing he doesn’t relate to or believe in. When he knows he messed up and hurt someone, he didn’t mean it, so he apologizes. 

But you can see in his face that he doesn’t feel good doing it, because although it doesn’t excuse toxicity, he knows that the person’s pain is why they act that way. 

It’s still for his friends more than himself, but I’ll take it for now. The biggest flaw he has is also one of his sweetest traits, believing in the best out of everyone. He’s at least learning that you can’t always assume someone doesn’t mean any harm.

Also:

fcKing suPERB adrien

I also like his sensitivity. He isn’t trying to be the cool and mysterious type, he’s emotional, passionate, and caring. This vulnerability can also be his downfall at times, but he carries his weight and makes himself responsible for his mistakes, so he’s an excellent example to kids. He’s a good boy in a world of romanticized “bad boys”.

Favorite episode (scene if movie): I can’t really say, I’m bad at choosing favorites. Really any scene he’s in— especially as Chat Noir —immediately makes me happy. Scenes of his that are sad or frustrating don’t make me happy in the sense that I like what’s happening, but the rush of emotions I get when I get to watch him interact with other characters and just be.. him… brings a certain type of joy? The fact that when he’s sad, I’m really sad… I don’t know, it’s a nice feeling. Don’t @ me but 2 years ago in my baby project, I named the baby Adrien, because I’ve adopted him and he is my son.

I guess I really like him in riposte? He was very soft in that episode, he was all giggly and blushy. Also, Gigantitan, Chris Master, and Sapotis? He’s so good with kids! Chat Noir got a lot of lines in Silencer (hA) and I thoroughly enjoyed that, he was such a dork. Weredad was just a masterpiece, we got to explore his thoughts toward Marinette too so that was cool. So it really comes down to any episode that he shines the brightest, the more screen time and dialogue the better. I WANT to learn MORE about him.

None of these are favorite episodes of all time I don’t think? It’s just my favorite moments for him I guess. Gigantitan might be a good example for an episode that fits on both lists, though. We saw a lot of different sides to him. We got to see Marinette comfort Chat Noir when he finally admitted his heartache, he finally admitted his frustrations with Gabriel to Nathalie (although she would have known without him saying), and I actually liked seeing Chat Noir’s petty side directed to Ladybug. No, I didn’t like that he was being unfair, but everyone has this type of moment in their life because we’re human, which is why it was SO great to see him like this.

He’s messing up? Fantastic! And it was so intriguing to see how he behaved when he finally snaps, particularly toward Ladybug. We hadn’t seen him lash out toward a friend— let alone a romantic interest —at this point. He really needed to unleash those emotions, and I’m glad he didn’t keep them bottled up any longer. He was having a garbage day to begin with, I wouldn’t be able to stand watching him brush it off.

It wasn’t fair to Ladybug, but it was perfectly fair to himself. Ladybug said she couldn’t hang out because she was with friends, sure! From his perspective, what does that look like? Well, we got to understand it thanks to this episode. Think to what happens to him later in the episode, he’s unable to spend time with his friends. There might be a tinge of jealousy toward that. Or maybe it’s that the phrasing made it sound like Chat Noir wasn’t a friend, which adds up to his relief at the end of the episode when Ladybug calls him a best friend. But also, the excuse wasn’t satisfying to him because clearly, he had intended to put both friends and Ladybug in his schedule, why couldn’t she do the same? I’m not saying this is logical thinking, but it’s interesting to step back and realize that it’s entirely likely he thought this way. And it all makes sense that he cherishes being with her more than any romantic future with her, because the fact he didn’t get angry when he heard about her “boy”, but he did when it came to her friends.

And, a little Ladybug appreciation, she didn’t invalidate those feelings. He’s not allowed to act up and ruin an akuma fight, but he is allowed to feel that way. I mean, it was a little mean to suggest fake dating right after brushing off a real one. But he realized how inappropriate the timing was, and apologized for it. And taking his humility a step further, he went with Ladybug’s original (arguably tortuous) plan, and disciplined himself during it. He didn’t try to take advantage and get all smoochie and cuddly on her. He offered his hand, but she’s the one who came to him and kissed him on the cheek. He let her create the boundaries. Later, he kissed her on the cheek for the first time.

Anyway sorry for that entire essay, but as you can tell I really loved that episode front and back.

Favorite season/movie: I think since we only have two and a half seasons, I can only say season 2 for now. I say season 2 because it’s where we first uncover more of Adrichat, not only to ourselves but to Marinette. He’s been really cute in S3 so far though, so my opinion could always change.

Favorite line: Any of his laughs. Ok fine, an actual line… uhh.. you know what, he’s said a lot of very profound and sweet things… so how about something stupid and random 

“Wanna hear a secret? I love chouquettes.” You sure do, you little dork. 

Favorite outfit: That purple/maroonish and green one on one of his magazine covers. 

OTP: Marichat, always. Ladynoir close second. If we’re talking outside of canon, probs Alyadrien. 

Brotp: Nino, obviously, they’re phenomenal. 

Head Canon: Maybe this is less of a headcanon, and more of an excuse for the writing.. but I don’t think Adrien is that oblivious. But as someone who’s forgiving, it would make sense that he also doesn’t assume things that could hurt them. For one, he denies Marinette likes him simply because she seems to have implied she doesn’t. He takes her word for it. 

Notice that almost every time it comes up, it’s not denying his own feelings, and he’s not even denying the “signs”. He just doesn’t want to put words in her mouth or ruin their friendship by jumping to conclusions that could put distance between them. It makes sense that he would want to protect their friendship because of how they met. 

Unpopular opinion Adrien is not a mary sue. First, I’ve already mentioned plenty of flaws in this post. Having no flaws is one side of a mary sue, the other side is being overpowered. So what if he’s in a bunch of clubs and has essentially mastered all of them. Stress on essentially, so far we know he can play one(1) classical piece on the piano and he messed up on it (it was a small mistake because of skipping practice, but a True™ mary sue wouldn’t have). Also… I’m sure he’s fluent in Chinese and Japanese, but he could be pronouncing better. Actually, that’s unfair, the French dub did pretty well for Japanese pronunciation and everyone knows French is more canon. I don’t know enough about Chinese to judge his pronunciation of it. We don’t know much about his sports except that he’s good at them, but we know Kagami kicks his ass at fencing apparently, so still not overpowered. Anyhow, these are just talents and skills. Not only can anyone learn them with effort (because he isn’t a prodigy at any of them), but it’s realistic that the famous model son of the strict CEO and founder to the prestigious fashion company Gabriel would be forced to have a full tool belt. Not to mention he’s a model in the acting business (Animaestro) actors legit have to know how to do EVERYTHing to even compete with others. None of the above has to do with power though.

  If anything, he’s underpowered. He’s not treated very well for a teammate who isn’t a sidekick. Often his intellect, wisdom, rationale, skills, and agility have been compromised for the sake of making ✦Ladybug✦ look good. Which, is sort of counter-intuitive if you think about it. We know this from the inconsistencies between episodes. One episode he’s decoding morse, giving Ladybug advice, making detailed plans, or showing off his expert-level martial arts… the next he’s… accidentally grabbing an ice cream cone while Cataclysm is activated? hmmm. ALso, as stated before, Adrien’s intelligence is suppressed for the advancement of the plot.

A wish: I want more Ladynoir discussions outside of akuma battles. Regarding things like the Dark Cupid kiss.. there are a lot of things I want them to straighten out and grow on. 

And, I think this is going to happen anyhow… but like,,, he needs to find out about the scarf, I’m sorry. I know it’ll be bittersweet but,,ghhhgk

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: *INHALES* pleASe, Emilie, be a good person!! ALSo, NO FIGHTS WITH NINO. EVER. 

5 words to best describe them: Patient, dorky, loving, childlike (not childish), brave

My nickname for them: heeheh, it’s my blog name title, Paw Prince.

I wrote you a whole book, my bad. I don’t regret it though. Now you know why it took me so long to answer.

[allimariexf]

(Arrow 7x15 thoughts) Olicity: the team within the team (always)

I wanna apologize because MY BODY CANNOT HOLD ALL THESE EMOTIONS and I’m a mess so I”m sorry for whatever happens here

SO. MUCH. OLICITY. I had forgotten it could be like this. WHY did they withhold for so much of the season and then give us so much Olicity in a single ep? (never mind don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, right?)

“I want this partnership to be done right and to be legitimate from the beginning for our baby.” OUR BABY. and then HIS FACE!!! He’s trying to be all serious but he cannot stop that smile of happiness that’s taking over his face because he is so happy omggggg!!!!!!

subtle harp-like Olicity theme in the background is almost literally MY HEARTSTRINGS BEING PLAYED 

OH GOD THEY BRING IN “BELIEF” AND I AM DEAD HOW DARE THEY: “If you believe that this is what’s best for the city and what is ultimately best for our family, then I agree. Because we’re a team too.” and then: “Always.”

HOW DARE THEY HOW DARE HOW DARE HOW DARE THEY

CALL BACK TO EVERYTHING THEY HAVE EVER SAID TO EACH OTHER ABOUT BELIEVING IN EACH OTHER

AND ABOUT THEIR PARTNERSHIP

AND “ALWAYS”

the way she walks toward him and takes him by the lapels 😭 such a Felicity move

HIS FACE WHEN SHE DOES IT 😍 ohhhhh I have missed Oliver’s heart eyes and those are HEART EYES IN FULL FORCE

but most of all THE WAY HE IS GAZING AT HER WHEN HE SAYS “ALWAYS,” and HIS VOICE HOLY SHIT that’s a different voice from anything we’ve ever heard 

(now if only he had hair and if only he would take off that DAMN COAT like that coat is like a third wheel at this point geez it’s honestly like a built in cockblock, in fact maybe he wears it all the time because otherwise they’d never stop getting it on? Hmm new headcanon maybe 🤔)

ughhhhhh and then the kiss after the “always” MY HEART I AM DEAD

“...that we don’t tell anybody about what’s happening in here”

UM Felicity is adorable here okay??? “in here” omggg

and more importantly OLIVER CLEARLY THINKS SO TOO 😍😍😍 his eyes and smile OH GOD

and then the second kiss!!! like 

I love the adorable married going-in-for-multiple-kisses thing and 

the way she smiles going into that second kiss and then 

they just LINGER THERE like Olicity really knows how to LINGER like the 3x01 first kiss and the 3x20 goodbye kiss and now we have this, the 7x15 “better future” kiss and they just LINGER with their lips together on that thought and she breathes him in and IT’S JUST SO BEAUTIFUL someone needs to come put me back together please 😭

I am destroyed and resurrected (repeatedly) under the cut...

“...so about that tartine...”

HOW ADORABLE IS IT the way his face shifts into that smile and you just know that he has been doting on her SO MUCH and he LOVES IT HE LOVES COOKING FOR HIS WIFE AND BABY like honestly YOU KNOW IT’S HIS #1 PLEASURE IN LIFE NOW NO CONTEST

“Have I told you lately how smart you are?”

OKAY first off having Oliver actually talk to Felicity about Arrow stuff??? FUCKING FINALLY OKAY. This is the dynamic Olicity was BUILT ON and MY SOUL HAS BEEN PARCHED FOR IT. Felicity is Oliver’s #1 partner. BLESS THIS EPISODE FOR REMEMBERING THAT. FOR SHOW US THEIR PARTNERSHIP, which honestly the entire SHOW is built on.

okay and HIS FACE before he says the thing, when he’s just thinking to himself about how smart she is and how much he admires and respects her and needs her as his partner?????? It’s the perfect Olicity mix of LOVE, ADMIRATION, and RESPECT??? THAT IS WHY I LOVE OLICITY. RIGHT THERE. 

and then the way he GAZES AT HER WITH PERFECT HEART EYES after she says she “never gets tired of hearing it” because HE IS SO SMITTEN WITH HIS WIFE/PARTNER/LOVE OF HIS LIFE 😍😍😍

UGH and then his reaction to “I want mint chip” like THEY ARE SO IN SYNC he gets her 100% completely he understands and he’s 100% there for her and UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH someone stick a fork in me

because it’s THE PERFECT TRANSITION from Team Arrow to Olicity, just a seamless blend of the work and the relationship because BOTH is who they are I don’t think I will ever be over that moment ughhhhhh

“You guys go ahead, I ate something that’s not gonna mix well with alcohol.”

UM OKAY callback to the 3x01 first date or coincidence? (“The alcohol is not going to mix well with the 3 Benzos I took”) I think I’m gonna go with DELIBERATE CALLBACK.

THE WINKING OMG. LITERALLY THE CUTEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN? MAYBE.

also Oliver looks SUPER hot in that moment, whooooboy. THAT LOOK IS 🔥🔥🔥

“I think you look exactly the same.”

EXCUSE ME BUT am I the only one who is reading wayyy into this just like, the way he says it, her smile?? It’s like a reminder of all they’ve been through together, how much they’ve grown and changed (and also yes hello callback to the season 7 Felicity arc) and yet she is still Felicity, they are still Oliver and Felicity, and like...........?????? EXCUSE ME AGAIN 😭😭😭

and then he sits down on the bed and they’re just talking on their bed like THANK YOU I NEEDED THIS IN MY SOUL

“I may have thought of a name for a girl...Mia.”

Letting us see him looking into her eyes, a little uncertain, being vulnerable with her...I AM ALIVE!

Because he knows she’s going to pick up on the fact that it’s in honor of his mother

AND MOIRA!!! JUST 

we know how important she was to Oliver, but also how complicated, how it ties in with his confused feelings for his family and his legacy, but also his deep love for his family and just how important family is to him, but it also involves this awareness of how Moira figured into Oliver and Felicity’s history, how without her having done what she did they never would have met, and his awareness and resulting hesitation because he knows Felicity didn’t get along with Moira, and THEN AND THEN her acceptance ( “I love it” ) just confirms THIS ONE ESSENTIAL FACT ABOUT OLIVER and about ARROW ITSELF: that no one is perfect, we all have our faults, but there’s love anyway: “Family is precious, and that it’s LOVE, IN SPITE OF EVERYTHING, THAT MAKES IT PRECIOUS.” 😭😭😭😭 I AM DEAD AGAIN because it’s everything y’all I don’t even have words right now

and his smiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiile 😭😭😭

“Regardless of whether we have a boy or a girl, I just want to make sure that she or he ends up growing up in a better and safer Star City than I did.” / “Yeah.” / “I want that for both of our children. They’ll always have each other to lean on.” “And they’ll always have us.”

THEY ARE HOLDING HANDS FOR THIS ENTIRE CONVERSATION

and she strokes his face

and HE HOLDS HER GAZE FOR SO LONG after he says “both of our children” what are these teeeears!?!? 😭

(and we’re going to ignore the clearly ominous overtones because fuck that)

look at them just staring into each other’s eyes holding hands A FAMILY 💗💗💗💗💗💗

The BUNKER 

OLICITY IN THE BUNKER ALONE TOGETHER BECAUSE THEY ARE THE TEAM WITHIN THE TEAM, THE BEATING HEART OF TEAM ARROW 

AND THEN JOHN JOINS THEM to complete OTA, the core, the TRUE, perfect, COMPLETE Team Arrow and it is perfect! 

and then when Dinah and Rene show up, Oliver says: “We found a lead. Well, Felicity found a lead.” THANK YOU THANK YOU WRITERS THANK YOU I will always be grateful for every acknowledgement that Felicity is essential to Team Arrow - essential - and having it come from Oliver’s mouth is OF COURSE The Best.

OTA: FUCK. YES. “So what don’t I know about?” / “We’re having a baby.”

OLIVER’S FACE when he wants to tell John about the baby!! HE CANNOT KEEP THAT SMILE OFF HIS FACE 💗 it’s possible my life is complete UGH HE IS SO HAPPY HE CANNOT CONTAIN IT 😭

And when she says “we’re having a baby” HIS FACE actually BOTH OF THEIR FACES y’all I AM ALIVE the way they are both standing their TRYING TO CONTAIN THEIR HAPPINESS????

and they both say “Yeah” and their EYES??? 😍

but like @it-was-a-red-heeler said he’s making the 3x01 face and OH GOD WHAT A PERFECT COMPLETE CIRCLE 😭😭😭

JUST LOOK AT THEM STANDING THERE TELLING THEIR BEST FRIEND THAT THEY ARE HAVING A BABY

John, who said, “And when you meet the right person, you'll be ready for her,” who said “I think our Miss Smoak is smitten,” who said “I think you didn’t have a problem with Felicity’s performance until she met Barry Allen,” who said “not like us” regarding Oliver’s inability to express his emotions, who said “I know it must be difficult for you, seeing them together,” who said “Why don’t I, uh, give you two a second?,” who said “Maybe Felicity will change all that” and “you love her, you even told her so,” who said “You need her to be anyplace where Ray Palmer isn’t” and “You’re in the field without your head on straight” and “If that were true, you’d be with her, man” and “This thing with you and Palmer is messing with his head” and “You gotta tell her how you feel before it’s too late,” and (skipping way ahead), “I’m not the one she was going to marry,” and “I’m the guy who’s been trying to keep you two together,” so like EXCUSE ME BUT 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 OKAY?

Delicity: “Morning sickness or not, Felicity, you have not missed a beat. You were absolutely amazing out there, your tech was phenomenal.”

It’s a little clunky but if this is the final ironing out of all their issues, I’ll accept it. (I’m easy.)

I AM HERE FOR ALL THE ADMIRATION AND RESPECT FOR FELICITY SMOAK (in her hero/genius/badass capacity).

I ESPECIALLY AM HERE FOR the acknowledgement that she can be both a pregnant woman and a hero/badass/vigilante. (And I am going to take that as assurance that they WILL NOT FORGET THIS FACT.)

also blahblahblah foreshadowing.

Overwatch/ Team Arrow

first off: OVERWATCH!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK. YES. My show is back.

second of all: Every time Oliver touches his comm and says “Overwatch” it’s like a virtual orgasm and we were coming all.night.long. friends 😂 I mean there were like 4 times, right?? OH GOD YESSSSSSSSS

but I am SO SERIOUS: Team in the field and Overwatch on the comms IS ARROW and I have missed it soooooo much and now I LIVE!

and yes the SCPD scenes were all freaking HILARIOUS especially Felicity’s reaction to the tech + her “loopholes” + Oliver and Felicity doing a side mission on their own 😍😍😍 (we will not comment on the ridiculousness of the random boiling hydrochloric acid nor the fact that they clearly would have known that evidence gathered in such a manner would be inadmissible)

meanwhile I loved Felicity’s line in the Master Chef scene: “This partnership’s not going to work if she forgets who she’s hired.” PERFECTION. HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD. EXACTLY. THANK YOU.

Other stuff

Am I the only one getting excited because it feels like only a matter of time before we completely shed NTA? They just feel sooo unnecessary at this point (I mean they always did but now they just seem like even an inconvenience to the writers)

I truly COULD. NOT. CARE. LESS. about Dinah’s storyline. Like, I’m sorry. I like Juliana. But they’ve never made me love Dinah, as much as I wanted to, and then after s6 honestly she is the member of NTA that I disliked the most, and I have always fucking hated that stupid Canary Cry (again, I much preferred Sara as the Canary, how badass she was as a fighter and the Cry was just an added bonus, and it wasn’t nearly as ridiculous as it later became with Laurel and then Dinah. UGH. At least that’s gone.) The one thing I appreciated about this storyline was the conclusion that the Cry is not an essential part of the Canary. DUH.

Ben Turner’s kid as Connor Hawke: I called it like one minute before the reveal lol. I like it, though I kinda wanted more Ben Turner, and this makes me think he’s gonna die :(

Flash Forwards/William and Mia: yessssssss 💗💗💗

though I still think there’s more on that micro-cassette. The missed messages from Oliver and Felicity. More clues from future Felicity. Meanwhile hearing Felicity’s message to her children just DESTROYS 😭😭😭😭😭

THE PROMO OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD I AM NOT READY

Um I think that’s all the freakout I can fit in one post. I’m a mess. Someone needs to pick my pieces up off the floor and put me together again, please. 

[theonceoverthinker]

“The Heart of the Truest Believer” Unused Script Snippets Compilation

So, as some of you know, recently I was lucky enough to win a script for “The Heart of the Truest Believer” in an OUAT auction. I think scripts are some of the most fun things you can win in auctions like these -- it’s cool to see how lines change and develop over the course of the writing and filming processes, they open the door to additional fun fan speculation, and of course, we get to see lines and actions that didn’t make the cut and in some cases, maybe see a completely new product!

And now that I have the script, I wanted to share it with everyone so we can do all of that groovy stuff!

There were a fair amount of changes, additional bits of dialogue, and honestly just funny things I noticed that I wanted to point out to laugh at like a fourth grader! I put in every thing that was in the script, but not in the episode, but if there’s a scene or something from the episode that you want to see, please let me know and i’ll see what I can do to get it to you (Sorry, buying the scripts and scanning can get expensive and I’m going to London this summer)!

Also, there’s a fair amount of shippy stuff in here, namely for Swan Fire, Sleeping Warrior, and Captain Swan (Ergo, the early ship tags). It’s not all that’s in here by any means, but I do want you going into this knowing that. 

Finally, as a personal plea from me, let’s please try not to go too beserk over this, or rather, like our fandom sometimes tends to do. I wanted to share all of this good stuff for fun and archival purposes and I’d hate to inadvertently cause the next fandom war. And look, I get it: Fandoms be fandoms and my plea probably won’t factor into much in the grand scheme of things, but hey, I had to try, am I right? Just remember to treat each other the way you’d want to be treated. Certain scenes and ship that you might not like could mean a great deal to others and we should all try and respect each other. 

Okay! Now that that’s out of the way, without further adieu, join me under the cut and let’s get to it!

First off, here’s a little observation: Apparently, in addition to comforting Emma, the doctor was supposed to give Emma a tissue. And given the sentences before that note, she’d definitely need it. :(

Another small cut line, but it makes you think just what a war on magic would be like. Also, I love the buildup of Tamara and Greg as these big antagonists and a third faction to counter the efforts of Pan and the heroes, only to pull the rug up from them and the audience. Kind of reminds me of how Dragon Ball Z transitioned from the androids to Cell.

Okay, enough nerding out! Moving on!

I was so happy that we got a juicy little bit of Rumple-y goodness in here! While I’m personally okay with the scene being excluded from the final episode, I do love how this scene builds up Rumple’s transformation back into his Dark One persona. I love the idea of the most dramatic spinning in television history and that crescendo of suspense. You know Isham would’ve had a time and a half orchestrating this scene! Can you just imagine the strings and the percussion?!

And speaking of Rumple, here’s some more Rumple dialogue!!! It builds on what we got in the final version in a more detailed way and makes for a strong moment in the Emma and Rumple dynamic. 

As an added bonus, if you look at the bottom left of the page, it appears that whoever previously had this script helped setting up the sets! So that’s nifty!

Tamara is Spider-Man. OUAT/MCU CROSSOVER CONFIRMED!!

In a similar vein, we see Greg and Tamara here trying to do a bit more damage to the enemies than what we got in the finished episode.  

Phillip! That’s Lumiere’s line! Silly man...

We get a bit more unused dialogue here (Loving the “arrow” joke!)! It’s basically just exposition, but we do get a bit of colliding personalities in here, especially between Neal and Mulan. Considering that these characters don’t get a ton of screen time after this season, this was a nice discovery to uncover.

I also like the smidge of character development Mulan got from Belle -- she’s now taken an interest in seeking knowledge after seeing how effective it can be!

More towards the bottom of the page, here we get two things that I found cool. First, we see a bit more to the guessing game of what is attacking the Jolly Roger and for certain Killian fans, seeing a Kraken out there is pretty cool! 

Second...look the descriptions of some of the actions in these scripts is just phenomenal. And if you ever want to ensure a good ole case of alcohol poisoning, take a drink every time the F word is used! You will be PLASTERED before long! XD

We get a lot of additional dialogue here with some twinges of both Swan Fire and Sleeping Warrior nestled neatly in the actions and dialogue. My friends, I’d have KILLED to see that hand hold in the final product! I also really admire Neal’s steadfast determination here! It’s very reminiscent of Baelfire and is just utterly heartwarming to see how much he cares about his family.

And on top of that, we get a smidge more lore for the after effects of the sleeping curse! I’m no lore snob and I do find the explanation to be a biiiiiiiit weird, but hey -- it’s OUAT and weird is what I signed up for! It works well enough for me.

Tamara, you can’t blame others for your actions! You know better...or at least you should. I don’t know. For a while, at least, you seemed pretty smart and devious. 

But more importantly than that: THE DARK ONE IS BACK! ...I just really liked that line. It reminds me of that old movie Commando. Rumple was trying to leave his past behind...sort of, but to save what matters to him, he’s gotta go back to his old ways. It’s a great mix of menacing and oddly triumphant! Honestly, it just sounds badass and I love that script note!!! 

Like I said...the drinking games that could stem from these scripts could KILL someone! ...There’s nothing new here: I just thought this was funny.

MOVING ON!

Once again, we see some more Neal and Mulan dialogue with both direct and indirect nods to Swan Fire and Sleeping Warrior! I just have a lot of feels for these two, okay?!

So, we’ll see this a bit later in more detail, but there seemed to be something of a D-plot about the Jolly Roger sinking as a result of the storm. It’s only mentioned in the final product during the scene where our team finally arrives on the island, but there’s quite a few lines about this being more of a substantial plot point than what we ended up getting. Once again, I’m overall okay with its exclusion since the conflict of them having to work together was the more important part of the conflict. 

And hey! We get a little bit of CS dialogue too, and I’m not complaining about that at all! I can’t help but feel like had that been included, it (Namely Killian calling Emma a sailor) would’ve been one of those OUAT-y things that just makes its way into all kinds of fan works -- like an OUAT meme that’s not played for comedy. You get what I’m saying? Ah well! 

Let’s keep going!

...Again, not new, but the script direction was just too funny to leave out of this post!

Here we get a bit more dialogue of Emma trying to get her reluctant teammates to listen to her. While I’m fine with the scene as we got it, I would’ve liked it if this went into the final version. It builds up Emma’s desperation nicely and gives their lack of teamwork a subtle hint of tragedy that a solution is literally right in their face, but they won’t listen.

I also like that there’s a bit more to Hook’s extra line. Does one take it as him not believing her alongside the group, or him believing her and tragically pointing out that no one else does? I think the ultimate interpretation would’ve come down to how Colin played it, but I appreciate the nuance of the line!

So, here, like I said before, here’s where we get more of the meat of the Jolly Roger sinking plot point. There’s more of a weight to it. As I said before, while I like this extra dialogue, I do think that the final version was effective enough in showing the team working together and that an extra scene wouldn’t have contributed that meaningfully to it in the overall grand scheme of things.

That all having been said, additionally, we get some awesome Emma here, and I am always a fan of that! We get to see a bit of smugness with that “I was right” line and some frack-a-lackin’great leadership as she leads the group onto Neverland’s shores! It’s an honestly cool moment and I’m picturing Jen slaying as she delivers these great lines!

As you might be able to see on the first picture in this set, there’s a bit of cutoff dialogue. Unfortunately, that’s how I got the script and it happens occasionally in this script. However, if I may speculate, going by Emma’s next line, it seems like Hook was telling her that if they follow through with her plan, Pan will know they’re on his island for sure and will likely be able to find them with relative ease. It’s fitting for Hook’s view of Pan for him to be apprehensive about giving Pan an in like this and makes Emma’s willingness to go into the metaphorical fires of Neverland to be even cooler!

Finally, we end off with another bit of Swan Fire, and it’s honestly pretty touching! Like, he cries over her and she’s the love of his life! That’s just sweet!

Also, I’m pretty sure that Robin line at the top is new, and it’s pretty funny! Robin’s character does snark really well!

And with that, our journey through the uncut side of “The Heart of the Truest Believer” is complete! I hope you all liked these snippets and maybe got a bit more material to think on! I know I did!

[deadguildnstrn-blog]

Mrati Mudir Aam (1966)

How do you change somebody’s mind regarding an issue? You make them laugh at themselves. You make them see how ridiculous their disposition really is while being very careful not to offend their sensitive egos. So how can you apply that to a heavy problem like misogyny? Being misogynistic is the most illogical thing one could possibly be: it is irrational to think half the population is less deserving of pay when they’re doing the exact same amount of work and it is ludicrous to blame a victim of assault for the way they chose to dress. How do you then get it through the thick skulls of a traditional audience without calling them morons? You simply represent it as a light-hearted yet reprimanding joke placed in the mouths of adored actors at the height of their fame. I think that’s exactly what the creators of Mrati Mudir Aam (1966), starring Shadia and Salah Zulfakar, did. The movie starts in an unusual part of a love story, the lovers are already married and still extremely happy despite the fact that they’ve been married for years with the wife being newly promoted to general manager and soon enough we realize that she will now be her husband’s superior. After the initial comedic reactions from the other workers when they realize their new boss is a woman that range from religious fury to casual cynical sexism, they all meet her for the first time including her husband who wasn’t aware that she was positioned in the same facility that he works in. He is understandably shaken by this disruption to their lives and asks her if they could keep their marriage a secret from their colleagues and what follows are a series of situations the couple are put through where this complication tests their relationship. The movie meticulously deals with several issues all at once, it shows all the different reasons for which a person could be sexist, shows a woman excelling in a leadership role despite the ridiculous situations she’s put in for being female. It candidly displays the effects of the power imbalance produced by a similar situation on a relationship. It‘s also a guide for what a healthy modern relationship should look like, with no gendered stereotypes (where the woman happens to be far more ambitious than the man) and a mutual respect that never wavers. The relationship in this movie is built on equality, it shines through every aspect of their shared lives, the end scene is quite literally both of them pushing their broken-down car down the road and neither have to put in more effort than the other to sustain it. The dynamics are truthful to that of a real relationship with its ups and downs where both parties try their hardest to pursue their own dreams while keeping the other happy. The romance, always alive between them regardless of how many years have passed since they first met, is represented in how gently they treat one another more than through grand gestures of affection.

There are many reasons why this movie is fairly different than anything else that was made in the same period, but i think it was the first to deliver feminism to its audience without them knowing. The first time our protagonist enters her new office she is greeted with an eager secretary dismissing her as a helpless young woman in need of assistance, not giving her a beat to explain that she’s his new boss till she assertively informs him of her identity and as we laugh at his dumbfounded expression we also celebrate her first victory. These kinds of compound feelings play on the subconscious, you automatically root for the underdog and want her to prove every employee who underestimates her wrong so you feel warmth when at the end they react to her departure from her position with tears. When the iconic Abu Elkheir character shows his two faces, the sexist who thinks women “lack in mind and faith” and the brownnoser who tells her she’s the best employer he’s ever had, the hilarious exaggeration of the hypocrite makes you wary of those kinds of people.

A running gag is one of her younger employees reading a sociological book about how to treat women and decides to test the book’s theories on her aiming for a promotion, when he tries the ‘dominant’ technique he is met with fury and is sent to the disciplinary board, cowering away he curses the book’s author who we find out is also a man. The movie even points out the absurdity of jumping to conclusions in a scene where her husband is stuck on the bus and overhears a few men scoff at a woman in a car assuming it’s her husband’s and that he lent it to her to go get the groceries when in fact it was actually our heroine in the office car. In a comedic sense these scenes are a treasure, not only are they subtle nods and prods at our flawed society but most importantly, at their core, they ridicule these practices.

The climax of this trope comes in one of my favorite scenes of all time: A dinner party is held in our boss-lady’s honor and accordingly she takes her husband with her but while she sits with the governor and all the other managers who are mostly men, discussing the proper conduct of a true patriotic communist, he is stuck with their wives chatting away about fashion and food. The wives are keen on his opinions and try to include him as much as possible in their discussions, but when he’s asked about his take on breastfeeding alternatives and he replies: “.. the mother that doesn’t breastfeed doesn’t deserve to give birth”, they immediately ask him if he’s ever given birth before. This joke is the original No Uterus, No Opinion.

These kinds of movies are as important as drama pieces that portray women struggling against patriarchal societies in a tragic light. While the latter sometimes have the power to change judicial laws, the former play on the general public’s subconscious, normalizing the kind of extreme progressive practices shown on screen. This particular movie was made at the height of the Shadia craze, she was starring in as many as 5 movies a year, and it came out following another iconic movie with her costar Zulfakar: Aghla Min Hayaty (1965) that was an intense romantic drama that captured Cairo’s heart so Mirati Mudir Aam was a phenomenal hit. Shadia was the symbol of romance in Egypt for well over two decades so having this movie under her belt is a win in my books. You can rarely find movies made in the last few decades that take such a blasé attitude towards feminism. One example that comes to mind is the now barely-recognized Bebo W Beshir(2011). And what a waste? Our culture is saturated with icons and our society filled with diverse stories to fill libraries. Every once in a while though, great young minds come together to create something that’s never been done before like the extraordinary Ext. Night that was released earlier this year. When I saw this movie in the theatre (it was left in cinemas for all of 3 seconds), I felt hope.

[michael-radi-the-glamorous-life]

It's Critical!

Lately, I’ve noticed that a lot of people - friends and strangers alike - have been saying something very similar to me as a I talk about productions, performances, or people that I’ve recently seen onstage.

As I’m giving my solicited opinion and actively formulating my thoughts, people keep stopping me to say things like:

You’re choosing your words very carefully.

You can just say what you mean to me.

You’re trying to be so [nice/PC/positive].

This got me thinking about how we, as artists and audience alike, deal with the art of criticism/critique/opinion. I’ll also admit that I recently listened to two interviews with high-profile theatre critics - both of which bothered me in very different and specific ways that I won’t go into here - so this topic hasn’t been far from my mind.

And after last week’s blog post, which was a semi-review of Hadestown, I got a lot of comments from people online and in person that basically said “Thank you for focusing on the good.”

But isn’t this how we should be talking about art?

All of those things above that people have said to me made me react the same way:

“No no no, I am saying what I mean, which is why I’m choosing my words so carefully.” And as for positivity, I think that is important to bear in mind as we critique - why focus on only the negative?

So, what is the best way to give theatrical criticism?

Everyone’s A Critic

And that’s totally okay.

People, by the nature of being people, have opinions. Sometimes they share those opinions and sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they’re mostly positive, sometimes mostly negative, but generally they’re pretty well mixed.

But it’s how people share their opinions that separates them. And yes, I realize this can go far beyond the arts and into daily life as well.

*Reminder: I am not an expert in critique, this is all just…well, my opinion!

Anyone who knows me personally knows that I am filled with opinions - for better or for worse (depends on who you ask!). And I’m always puzzled when people say things like “You have so many opinions!” because in my mind I feel like “Yeah, don’t you?” Because we do. Let’s just call it as it is and go from there.

I also know that I have a very specific way of processing my opinions. For me, this is how it tends to go:

Initial (often knee-jerk) reaction. This happens in the first moment of whatever performance I’m watching.

Pre-opinion. I have a feeling about where this show is going to go and whether or not I’m going to enjoy that.

Gather more information. I stop thinking as I watch so I can see more of what is and isn’t going to occur. Sometimes this means just sitting back and enjoying the live theatre.

Moment of change. Often this is mid-Act 1 where something either very positive or very off-putting will happen, which I know will color the rest of my opinions. Even if I try to not let it do so.

Intermission analysis. Partially this is just me thinking over what I’ve seen as I stand in line for the restroom. And partially this is informed by listening to what the people around me are saying to see if I agree with their thoughts as well.

A new set of glasses. This is the reactionary moment to the top of Act 2. Sometimes it’s an absolutely delightful moment that tints my non-existent spectacles to a rosy color, and sometimes the show takes a different direction that changes my mindset in other ways.

Finish out the story. I do my best to not pre-judge the end of a show before I' have seen it. I find that I tend to do this, so I try to fight back and just experience the remains of the performance, no matter how I’m feeling about the show thus far.

Post-show analysis. Now sometimes, by the time the show ends I have formulated enough of a solid opinion about what I just saw that I can talk about it immediately. Other times I feel the need to go have a conversation with someone who has seen the piece (or who was with me) to hash out my thoughts and get to a conclusion. And - albeit rarely - I occasionally have to not talk about the show and sleep on it first in order to gather my thoughts.

But this is my way of creating opinions, and I know it’s extremely specific.

When I was younger I had a difficult time not letting my initial reaction color my entire experience of a show or a production. Luckily, I had the opportunity in college to learn how to better analyze performance and formulate my opinions in a less biased way. The result is the above process, which keeps me about as even-keeled as I can be when watching a show and making judgements.

Why am I telling you this?

I think it is extremely important to be aware of how you process information and how that effects the way you formulate your opinions. I’m not saying that you have to have a process that is anything like mine, but before good critique can be given it must be clear how that opinion was formed.

It’s All In The Formulation

Where I feel most people have trouble is not in the formulation of opinion, it’s in the delivery.

Let’s look back to the sentences from above as a bit of a guide:

“You’re choosing your words very carefully.”

Okay, yes, I am and I do. I’m also someone who was an English and Theatre major, so I’ve been trained specifically to do this.

But more importantly, when I was taught about how to give critique - and yes, we do give theatre professionals training in this - I was told that the most crucial aspect is your word choice.

Why?

Here’s what words can do:

Specify precisely what you mean to say. 3 people can all tell you that a show was “great,” but you’ve gained no new information. All you know is that they all felt positively. But if the answers had instead been “Beautiful,” “Solid,” and “Phenomenal,” then you gain a much clearer understanding of how each of these people felt and what type of show they saw.

Descriptive language is always better. I could tell you that a performer was “terrible” in that one show and you’d get my specified opinion, but I haven’t told you why. And without the why, you can’t be certain from what context my opinion is coming. If I say that performer “didn’t seem connected to the role and appeared to be phoning it in,” well now you can judge for yourself. Is that just my perception? Was it just that one performance? Or is this not the best role for this performer, who might be excellent in other shows? But now you can think this through for yourself based on my description.

Hyperbole is an ever-present danger. It’s easy to get wrapped up in one’s emotions while speaking about something on which you have an opinion - and that’s totally cool - but you can more easily say something that you don’t necessarily mean. Perhaps you adored that actress in the leading role, but someone else didn’t like her, and therefore you go over-the-top in your praise of her. Or maybe you feel so strongly about a show that you didn’t like that you tear it to shreds with highly negative wording.

Word choice can be the difference between “like” and “love.” Words can uplift or tear down. But nothing is ever truly either black or white, good or bad.

It would be folly to think that your opinion is the only opinion, or that there was nothing good about that show you hated. So when making you word selection, it is important to focus on what you can concretely back up with examples. Otherwise, you may be talking just to hear yourself talk.

“You can just say what you mean to me.”

Oh, please do. Say exactly what you mean, always.

Honesty is the best and leads to the most fruitful conversations about art. If everyone had the same opinion life and art would be very boring. Instead, tell people what you think and why. And if you make good word choices, there’s no harm in stating your opinions.

“You’re trying to be so [nice/PC/positive].”

Yes. Definitely.

Why would I want to be mean, insulting, or negative?

Nothing can be gained from this.

As I’ve already stated, even if you have a negative opinion about something, that doesn’t mean that everyone shares in that opinion. You can be critical of a show or a performance and still leave room for positivity that you may have overlooked.

But that’s exactly where we run into the biggest problem of all: People don’t want to be wrong.

Oof. There it is. I’ve said it.

It is so much easier to lean into something overly mean and negative as a defense mechanism than it is to concede that: 1) Your opinion is not the be-all end-all, and 2) There is room for error in your opinion.

And I get it.

No one enjoys being wrong or contradicted or have the flaws in their logic pointed out, but all of these things are okay. This is what sparks good conversation and what can lay groundwork for more open-mindedness in the future - both of which are excellent goals.

But this isn’t the only reason I choose to keep things positive when giving my opinion. The other major reason is that everyone who works on a show is a living person with real feelings who poured a little bit of their soul out of them to create the art you just experienced.

This is what we do. And whether or not you enjoyed it, you should always be aware of the fact that art is both personal and difficult. It never hurts to be kind.

Let’s Give ‘Em A Hand

What do we do at the end of a performance?

We clap.

Why? Because a large number of people did a tremendous amount of work creating something in the hopes of providing (hopefully meaningful) entertainment. They did that - live - just for you.

So no matter what your opinion may be and what sort of words will make up your critique, let’s keep the people in mind. And remember that art is subjective. Opinions will differ, and that’s a wonderful thing.

The next time you experience art, think about the way you formulate your opinion. Or don’t, and completely disregard everything I’ve said here today.

This post is a piece of my art that I give to you, and now I trust you to go forth and be a good critic. Happy critiquing!

[milesgonzalomorales]

1-50 for studyblr (all or nothing motherfucker ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°))

I owe you my life anon I wanted to answer these 

What year are you?Third-year as of summer 2018

What’s your major/what do you think you want to major in?Double major in Political Science and History

If applicable, what is your thesis about?                                                        n/a

Do you think you picked the right major?                                                      For sure. At first I was uncertain in my choice bc I switched quite a bit in my first/second year bw English and History, but then I realized that English classes were making me dislike my relationship w/ literature. I love my poli sci and history classes 

Ultimate educational goals?                                                                                 Getting my PhD in International Relations but i have no job to pay for it 

Career goals?                                                                                                         Working with an international organization like the UN or the IMF

Do you think your goals are realistic?                                                                 Certainly. They may be difficult to reach, but they are within my grasp so long as I keep working towards them. 

What classes are you taking right now?                                                             Canadian government/politics, introductory political theory and a comparative history class on race relations in the US and SA                                      

Favorite class out of everything you’ve ever taken and why?                          Introduction to international relations parts 1 and 2, I took them both in my second year back to back (one in the fall, the other in the winter) while I was still in the political science minor. I loved this class for several reasons. First, the content was so interesting that reading the textbook was never a chore and I was always in the first row of the lecture hall ready 15 minutes before classes even started. Another reason I liked this class was bc I had a really good experience with the ta who was my tut. leader in both semesters - there is only one other ta that I’ve had who has been that phenomenal in their teaching. This ta along with another prof have been really influential in my learning and I don’t think thank you will ever be enough for what they both did.  It was actually through these classes that I decided to major in poli sci bc I loved it so much. 

Least favorite class ever and why?                                                                       An Ancient Greek history class bc it was at night and the prof had us read exclusively from a sourebook and his slides sucked.                                

Current favorite class and why?                                                                          Canadian government, I’m learning a lot of cool stuff about my country that high-school teachers never did justice to. Also the prof is really enthusiastic and it’s contagious. 

Current least favorite class and why?                                                                 Political theory… it’s not that I hate it, but some of the texts are really difficult to read at times. Lectures are fun though, the prof really knows how to keep an audience engaged.                                                                                   

Favorite STEM field?                                                                                            I took an anthropology class in first year and loved it, the tutorials were really interesting bc we actually got to handle bone material!! It was nothing like humanities tutorials where you discuss and debate. A fun experience overall and I loved learning about the science parts too even if it was a little complicated sometimes…                      

Favorite humanities subject?                                                                               Political science, hands down. 

Class that you’ve always wanted to take but never had the chance?              I want to take a class on ethnic conflict and security, but it’s a 4th year class and i don’t have the prereqs (yet!) 

Do you use caffeine and if so how much daily?                                                 Never, unless Coffee Crisp counts 

What’s your preferred method of taking in caffeine?                                         ^ see above answer                                                                          

Have you ever tried study drugs?                                                                        Nope, not a huge fan of supplements like that.  

Are you a homework-in-the-morning kind of person?                                       Homework whenever I can type of person                         

Do you listen to music while you study?                                                            Used to, but now it distracts more than anything so I’ll put on some ambient noises or just work silently. 

Crowded area or quiet place?                                                                               Quiet place, but one that has people in it so I feel obligated to work 

What’s your preferred writing implement?                                                          bic gelocity 0.7 black and blue pens. i cannot write w/o them but they run out so fast.                         

Do you need to work out before you can study well?                                        work out??? haven’t heard that term in years 

Describe your perfect study environment.                                                          Idk the specifics, but good lighting, nice temperature, a rolling chair and a high desk i guess? 

Are you procrastinating right now?                                                                     Not really, I have time before assignment deadlines roll in. 

What was the last thing you procrastinated?                                                     Reading Thomas Hobbes Leviathan, the language was too complex and I shied away from it 

Are you a perfectionist?                                                                                        Not really, you make a mistake and you move on, I find that studyblr aesthetic notes are counterproductive 

Do you like easy classes or do you feel bad if you’re not working hard?       I don’t think there is such thing as ‘easy’ classes, it depends on what an individual’s strengths and weaknesses are. That being said, I had a light course load for a first year class where the prof felt bad for assigning us 10 pages of reading a week when another prof was assigning 80-100.    

Are you a good test taker?                                                                                    Most of the time, but with essays, I need to write outlines or I lose my train of thought and get frustrated and anxious about the time and my argument. 

What are you the proudest of out of all the assignments you’ve ever had?   A paper I did for my critical writing for history class 2 semesters ago, I contacted that professor regularly and was in her office all the time working with her to keep making it better and when I saw my final grade of 38/40, I cried with happiness. 

Do you talk to your teachers/professors a lot?                                                  Oh yeah, I’m that student who stays after class, spends half the time at office hours, asks questions during class, you name it. Professors are people too, just really accomplished people. Also they’re pretty cool and they want to see you succeed. 

Describe your favorite teacher/professor and why you like them.                   Okay again not a prof, but this person is training to become a prof and i truly hope he’s successful for several reasons. He has a lot of cool book recs both academic/non-academic, calls out the bullcrap that is academic writing, genuinely goes above the paygrade to make sure that students succeed and most importantly, is enthusiastic about the content himself. (press f to pay respects) 

Describe your least favorite teacher/professor and why you dislike them.     Hnghhhh there was these 2 profs who taught intro ir part 1 and one of those guys was an absolute loser, he constantly made holocaust jokes and other tasteless comments and when i went to talk to him about my final paper, he told me that i’d look like someone who might like to write mine about is/s like ://. never told that prof anything about my academic interests so shut your mouth 

Have you ever thought about becoming a teacher/professor?                         A few times, but I don’t think I could do it. I’d be one of those rambling profs who never end up finishing their scheduled content. 

Most profound thing ever said to you by a teacher/professor?                         Not a prof, but a ta once said that my ideas were worthy of respect and that i shouldn’t feel the need to apologize for contributions (ta: you are valid me: holy fuck i’d die for you) 

Best feedback you’ve ever gotten on something academic?                            Best feedback I’ve ever gotten was on a paper I wrote for my ir class in the first semester where i had a lot of pitfalls in my argumentation style so when i wrote one the next semester w/ the same ta marking it, i got a better mark bc i incorporated that feedback. 

Worst study habit and how are you working on it?                                            My worst habit is lacking discipline and I’m working on it by trying to stick to schedules so I can fall back into routine and ultimately be on top of things 

Are you an in-class fidgeter?                                                                                moment of silence for all the pens i’ve dropped while twirling them/taking them apart. 

How’s your handwriting?                                                                                      pretty neat, not to brag. but apparently my f’s are jumping off the lines practically. 

Write “the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog” and post a photo.         sorry, too late for that I’m headed to sleep soon. 

Neat or messy notes?                                                                                            A weird combo?? Like messy enough that you have arrows sticking out from all corners and sometimes things are disorganized, but the writing itself is usually very neat unless i’m tired. 

A lot of notes or the bare minimum?                                                                   A lot, for me, the slides are the skeleton and the meat comes from the prof’s mouth. 

Post a photo/scan of your notes from your favorite class.                               I think I uploaded them to my side blog?? anyway it’s late now so can’t do that 

Are you a doodler?                                                                                                I used to be, but I cut the habit bc sometimes I miss key info if I’m not paying attention. 

Post a photo of your doodles if you have any.                                                    lol i used to post a lot under the tag naailah draws 

Do you have pre-test rituals and what are they?                                                Making sure I have more pens than I’ll ever need and checking the ink refills to ensure there’s enough. 

Are you a tangent-question asker?                                                                      Yup, there’s no such thing as a dumb question. Unless it’s answered on the syllabus. That’s a dumb q. 

Do you make jokes in class?                                                                                Sometimes. I’ve cracked some awful puns in my comparative poli class once and the prof’s mic picked up on it bc i sit at the front so you have a room of 200 or so students hearing me laugh about poverty and i swear it sounds bad but it was not as bad w/ context. 

How many hours do you spend on academics per day?                                   A lot… most of my time is spent on studying/procrastinating on it 

What’s something more important to you than school?                                    Life after school and making a real impact in the world, whether it’s small-scale or large.