#and maybe that’s stupid to most of humanity but I got to create something new | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

justme315 · 2 months ago

Text

New family 1/?

! Warning !

swearing, angst, fear, step-family, g/t family, abuse, mention of abusive giants, gigantophobia, mention of the character being religious, sickness

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I was fucked.

I'm sorry for using that kinda language but I really was. You see, my whole life has been destroyed by thoese damn giants.

Sorry, I don't think I introduced myself yet, I'm Zack.

Me and my mom were always a team. After my dad has passed away when i was 6 she was the only person important to me. It was basically us two against the whole world.

Something that might also be important for you to understand my story is the fact that we live in a world full of humans (like my and my mom) and giants. Giants are.. humanoid 60-ish feet tall creatures. Easily to say - their dangerous. The government rightfully understood the danger and the fear of us humans and created 'human-only' zones, cities, countries even. There were also a few 'giant-only' zones, but I'm not really sure why. It's not like the giants would fear us. Most of the places thoese enourmous beasts live are simply 'mixed-zones', places where both humans and giants can live. Thank God that me and my mom always lived in a 'human-only' zone. I was always skeptical and yeah, terrified of giants.

My mom was different though. Maybe she was just dumb (sorry for saying that mama) but she just couldn't sense danger. She worked in a company that required her to sometimes travel to 'mixed-zones' or 'mixed-cities'. I was always opposed to that but she.. enjoyed it. She even said that she made some giant "friends". I never believed in their honesty though.

But what changed my life once and for all, had happened when I was just 16. Well, going on 17 already, but yeah, still 16.

I never ever once questioned my mom's romantic life after my dad has passed away. She just.. never acted like she wanted to start a new relationship. And I was very okay with that.

But one unfortunate day, just after she came home from one of her business trips she told me that she has got a boyfriend.

That was weried to know, I mean c'mon, picturing your mom having a crush, dating, falling in love etc. is just.. weried and kinda disgusting if you ask me.

Of course, I questioned her and soon I reaveled her secret.

"Zack, I have been dating him for a little over a year. I was just scared of how you might react. But now, I must tell you since.. he proposed."

That felt like I was stabbed straight into the heart. How could she have kept having a boyfriend a secret from me for so long? Why would she? Being lied to by her felt horrible. I thought we were a team - we always told echother everything. But I guess I was wrong.

Really soon I found out that my mom's boyfriends (and now fiances) name is Andrew, that he was just slightly older than her and had two sons about my age, he was also a widower, and according to my mom, we had much in common.

I really couldn't understand why my mom would keep her boyfriend a secret. Untill she revealed she wanted for us to move in with him and his sons. I mean, she had a lot of planing to do, as she was soon to get married again, so that was kinda understandable. I wasn't opposed to moving into a new home, but changed my mind really quickly when my mom reaveled that our new home would be in a mixed-city. I mean, I was never even in that kind of a city, never even seen a giant in real life and was hella terrified of them! She should've understood me. Before she 'fell in love' she always has.

I asked her a milion times if Andrew and his sons can't just move in with us but she always found some excuse. Once, our house was too small, then his older son didn't want to switch universities, another time Andrew was scared of loosing the job. It was always a stupid excuse. Untill she finally reaveled the truth.

You see, Andrew, my mom's husband-to-be was a giant. And so were his sons.

To say that I was mad and scared was an understatement. I felt lied to. I felt like I was being dragged into something I didn't want to be a part of. I, understandably, questioned the honesty of my moms relationship, which angered her the most. I was angry with my mom for over two weeks after finding out about the size of my soon to be step-family and barely spoke with her. I couldn't be away from her for long though and forgave her, but in my heart I still had plenty of doubts.

My friends didn't help ease my fear. I told my best buddies at school and the stories they have told me only made me more afraid and suspicious of the said Andrew and all giants at that point.

"Don't y'all remember Joseph from middle school? He moved to a mixed-city with his parents. He was stepped on by a giant and died!"

"That's nothing compered to what happened to Amy. A quick death is better than being tortured. She is my cousin. She moved to a mixed-zone because she wanted to go to a better collage. One of her giant male classmates kidnaped her and done horrifying things to her. Once she was found she had missing limbs, many scars.. She was mentally, physically and sexually abused by him for months, untill they found the giant. And he barely got any jail time for that! She's still in mental health hospital!"

"My dads best friend Thomas was freaking eaten alive!"

Yeah, I think 3 stories is enough to give you the idea of how freaking terrified I was of the said 'step-family'. Some might say I am a specist (a person that discriminates based on the species (giant and human)) but I wouldn't agree. I don't really think that a human can be a specist becouse we are in the more vaunurable position. Also, I don't hate giants becouse of their size. I hate and fear them because of how brutal and cruel they are towards humans. Maybe a giantophobe would be a more appropriate term for me.

That day was the worst day in my entire life. And it's really hard to beat the day my dad had passed away.

We sold the house. We were at the airport. All ready to go to a mixed-city, over the wall that the government made.

Mom was all smiley and happy, her nose never leaving her phone.

"Andrew texted me that he and his boys are at their side of the barrier already, waiting for us. They can't wait to meet you!"

Right, didn't I mention that they all knew echother, but me?

"I just can't wait to show you the city and our new home!"

I was standing there quiet. No matter how many times I told my mom that i don't agree with her choice of dating a giant or for the fact that I didn't want to move away into a mixed-city she would always say that I will change my mind once I overcome my fear. Hell, I would.

I held my bag closely, trying to hold onto whatever I have not to lose my composure. I was terrified and angry, sure, but showing thoese giants from the start that they have some power over me, even though it was obvious, wasn't something I would do. At last, if I could hide my emotions.

Just a few minutes before our flight, a flight in the opposite direction landed. I saw all those humans, coming back from the mixed-city, most of them seem okay. That made me confused and curious. Would it really be all that bad?

Untill I saw a girl, probably my age, on a wheelchair. I mean, there is nothing wrong with disabled people, don't get me wrong, but she was crying so she easily got everyone's attention. A woman run up to her.

"Mom!" The girl sobbed, opening her arms to hug her mother. The woman tried calming the girl down but she just kept crying and screaming "It was just supposed to be a student exchange program!! This scary giant crushed my legs!"

The girls voice echoed in my head. It was different to hear stories of distant people, but to see someone hurt by thoese monsters in front of my own eyes was completely different.

Even my mom lowered her phone and looked at the girl with pity in her eyes. I prayed to the Lord to open her eyes and return home safely with me.

"Poor girl" she signed "That must have been a.. horrible accident".

I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"Accident?" I looked at my mom angrily, finally letting my emotions out "A giant crushed her legs".

"Honey, I'm sure they didn't mean to.." she looked at me, somewhat shocked at my defensiveness. I shouldn't have expected her to understand. She just simply couldn't sense danger. And that could get both of us killed.

"Her legs were crushed by a giant, mom!" I raised my voice, even so slightly as I couldn't believe how blinded she was by her feelings.

"Zack, calm yourself down" she looked at me more strictly now, as I was getting other peoples attention. I couldn't bare the thought of how stupid this all was. I just wanted to be home. Or anywhere at that point. Anywhere but in a spece where giants were allowed.

"You-" I began to speak.

"The flight 16-399Bhc** is preparing to take off. We ask all the passengers to board the plane within 5 minutes. Thank you and have a good flight" said a voice from the speaker.

"That's our flight!" My mom cheered up and grabbed my arm, pulling me as she ran to the plane.

She was so excited it made me feel like I was gonna puke.

Don't get me wrong, I always loved planes but this time I felt uneasy. My whole body was shaking ever so slightly, I felt like I was about to puke, I swear I heard my heart pumping blood, my head was spinning..

That can easily be called my worst ever flight.

After we landed I needed a good 15 minutes in the bathroom to regain my composure.

"Honey, are you alright?" I heard my mom knocking "Are you sick?"

"I'm fine mama, I'll be okay" I mumbled, though I didn't feel like I was going to be okay for at last next few hours. I was also convinced my life was about to end so why bother worrying my mom. But before I cross the barrier of the airport, I didn't have to see or interact with any giants. Maybe me feeling sick was actually a gift from God to give me more time to get ready for what was about to come? As I was almost ready to go I hear my mom speaking:

"Honey, are you sure? I texted Andrew and he and Ethan are worried sick. They can drive us to a hospital"

And then I got sick again at the mention of the giants.

Oh, you might not know who is who. Andrew is my moms 45 year old husband-to-be, but I'm sure I have spoke about him already. Ethan is his older son, he was 21 back then. His younger son - Ryan - was 17.

After, what appeared to me as a minute and to my mom as an hour I finally could exit the bathroom.

My mom rushed me, saying that the boys have been waiting for us long enough. I was feeling less and less okay. I couldn't keep my emotionless demeanor. My eyes felt heavy, my heartbeat fasten as well as my breathing, my legs were shaky and I was not able to say even one word.

As I saw the enourmous glass wall behind which were a ton of giants, I felt like I was going to faint.

Or simply turn around and run.

My mom stopped in her trucks and looked at her phone. After maybe three seconds of reading what I supposed was a message form Andrew she looked into the direction of 3 giant men waiting and her eyes started to freaking sparkle and her smile grew.

She then looked at me and pointed in the direction of thoese giants, who weren't looking at us, thank God.

"That's Andrew! And Ethan and Ryan!" She said with an excited expression.

Andrew was surprisingly the shortest of the group. He had brown hair that were turning grey, a short beard, thick glasses, a blue sweater and more elegant pants. He was overall a handsome middle-aged dude, if it wasn't for the fact he was freaking enormous.

Ethan was talking with him. He had fluffy brown hair and was slightly taller than his dad. He had a few freckles and dimples on his cheeks, his smile was truthfully welcoming. His white hoodie also looked very comfy.

The tallest one was the youngest - Ryan. He had black, short hair, a pierced ear and stylist clothes. If he would have been a human, he looked like one of the popular kids that you always look up to. I really liked the belt he had, same with the rings on his fingers.

All three giants had the same eye color - hazel.

My mom grabbed me again and pulled me into the direction of the glass wall that was the last thing keeping me outside of the reach of giants. She looked so happy to see them that it was hard to recognize her. She only ever smiled at me like that before.

Soon enough, we were close to the exit of my comfort zone. My fear only grew as we were closer to the giants. It was still probably about 20 feet between us and the door when Andrews eyes rested on us. I felt the enourmous gaze and felt like I was stung. Soon both his sons eyes locked on me and my mom. She realized quickly and slowed down with the running. She then waved at them. Andrew and Ethan waved back. Ryan stood there, looking maybe a little conflicted but surely also kinda annoyed.

At that point I could feel the blood boiling in my veins. My heart ached. As well did my head. My legs were shaky. I felt like I couldn't catch my breath correctly.

If you think you're not socially awkward, three giants looking down at you with their enourmous eyes, almost scanning you as if you were an insect would change your mind right away. And if you are socially awkward like me? Well, you would feel as if you were just about to die.

My mom rushed me again, ready to exit the safe space, that only allowed humans. I walked behind her, but I wasn't as excited or as fast. Partly, becouse I wanted to be out of the giants reach for as long as I could and partly becouse I was feeling worse and worse.

To be honest, I don't know what was making me feel bad. Maybe it was all the emotion, fear, anger and all, maybe it was my mental health killing me and shouting at me that danger was close, maybe it was the horrible flight, maybe it was my body being sick. I don't know.

What I do know is, each step I took, the more powerless I felt. My legs felt to weak to hold my bodyweight.

My mom was already by the exit door when she turned around to rush me again. I was maybe 7 feet behind her, still surrounded by the enourmous gazes of those three giants, two of which were smiling. Their smiles made me sick in my stomache, but Ryan who was the only one not smiling made me feel ever worse somehow.

I totally expected my mom to yell at me to hurry up, based on how excited she seem but she just stared at me for a secound with wide worried eyes and then returned to me.

"Are you okay honey? You don't seem too good"

I wanted to answer her but it came out as a soft yelp. I thought I was going to puke again.

Faces of the giants became more serious and worried. I didn't like that expression either, to be honest.

I looked back at mom as she reached out to me and raised her hand to my shoulder for comfort probably.

"Are you scared Zack? Is that it? Because if it is, I assure you, they won't hurt us. Ever." She spoke in a soft, quiet voice. Her expression didn't show anger but she looked more understanding than any other moment of the past few weeks. She spoke with such confidence I could have believed her.

Well, I maybe even would have if I didn't faint.

Because just a moment after she spoke my vision went black and my body felt weak. The last think I remember before fainting were thoese scary gazes and my mom yelling:

"Zack!"

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Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed the 1st part!

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ronwestbreeze · 2 years ago

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becoming jake sully's mate

pairing: jake sully x fem!reader

warnings: nothing but fluff and longing from both sides

you had already been a botanist and biologist and had a slowly developed friendship with mo’at there when jake first arrived. you had a hand in creating grace’s school and had sadly watched it fail after the incident with mo’at’s daughter sylwanin. you felt awful about it and always resented the rda for ruining something that could’ve been good for both the sky people and the na’vi. thankfully, you and mo’at still retained a respectful relationship, although now it was a lot more strained since you, like the rda that killed her daughter, were human.

when coming back from another plant research journey, you meet jake right after grace was done snapping at him and stalking off to talk to the higher ups about him replacing tom sully. knowing how grace can be, you offered a more pleasant and warmer welcome as you had no issue with the other sully brother.

“i wouldn’t let what she says get to you. somewhere in that icicle heart in her there’s a heater. i managed to only crack it just a bit.” you joked.

“jake sully, this is dr. y/n l/n. one of our best biologists here.”

jake nodded toward her and offered you his hand which you shook it happily. he gestured toward your hair, “i like the hair color. very bright.”

you had nearly forgotten your terrible dye job which unfortunately turned it into a fiery orange. you remembered grace laughing at you for hours when she first saw it. “yeah, i keep forgetting to shave it all off.”

“don’t. i think it’ pretty cool.” jake grinned.

you smiled back, “thanks, sully. welcome to pandora. hope you enjoy your stay.”

“i think i will.” he gave you a charming smirk in return.

it was one of those moments you realized you had a crush on him.

and it was way too fast for your liking. it was stupid how fast you had fallen for his boyish charm, his sarcastic nature especially around grace.

you didn’t have anyone really. your parents were dead, you had no siblings. all you had was grace and mo’at, who only reluctantly kept you around despite her dislike for humans. and now jake could be added to that.

he was a lot more outgoing then you were while you always kept to yourself most of the time, studying plants. that was your safe haven.

one day you found yourself at the avatar compound having a discussion with grace about some of the trees you had been studying that day when jake comes barreling through the compound, in his new avatar form.

jake had spotted you first and grinned, “hey, cheetos! check this out!” he was jumping around in his new body excitedly. “crazy isn’t it?”

despite you wanting to grin back, you couldn’t help but raise your brow, “cheetos? wait do you mean—that’s not gonna be a new thing sully—”

“already is, cheetos.” grace smirked playfully, standing over you in her avatar body. “s’not as good as carrots! colonel came up with that one.”

“fuck him.” you roll your eyes while jake continued to laugh. you tried hiding your face as it grew warm. it’s a good thing your face was dark enough for people not to notice the blushing.

when jake got lost in the jungle and met the omaticaya clan, surprisingly enough you were one of the first people he told.

“what you did was reckless, skxawng. but somehow your ass is lucky, i don’t know how, but i’m impressed.” you sighed sitting at the table as he rolled up next to it.

jake looked at you with furrowed brows, “skxawng? that’s what the female na’vi called me. the one i met.”

you cringed, “ah right, sorry, i’m too used to the language here, sometimes it slips out.”

“no, no, it’s fine. maybe you can teach me.”

you try not to smile, “maybe.”

“at least tell me what that word means.”

“uh, i don’t think you want to know.”

jake narrowed his eyes playfully but let it go for now, “next time you should bring your avatar and come out with me.”

you tried ignoring the fluttering in your chest. a delusional part of you thought he really wanted to spend time with you. while the other more rational and professional part of you knew it was probably so she could help him understand the species more.

“maybe another time. i can’t get too distracted.”

you neve realized then how closely jake always watched you. when you weren’t looking or even when you were having a simple conversation. somehow you always missed the certain fondness and affection. and he certainly wasn’t good at hiding it. “nothin’ wrong with distractions.”

again, you smiled stupidly, “just find me some plants while you’re out there.”

jake nodded instantly, “will do.”

you ignored the fluttering again. because the next time you met up again, your mind would be clear when you learned that he was going to be the colonel’s spy and gain information from the people. grace was on board with it of course, always trying to search for the diplomatic way. but you hated every bit of it.

this was the first time jake had ever seen you mad and it especially startled him when it was directed at him. he was so used to your smile, your lighthearted and soft spoken personality. he never expected a woman to get so angry at him so fast. new record.

“tell me what other way there is to get out of this peacefully! i’m all ears, y/n!”

“how about not forcing them to give us their resources! this isn’t our world! we don’t have a fucking right to any of it!”

“we’re trying to maintain the peace here, y/n.” grace added. “if we don’t do this, then you know what the rda is going to do.”

“and you think lying to them will make it any better?!” you fumed hotly.

“not if they don’t find out.” jake reasoned.

now you were beyond angry. so angry you couldn’t even get anymore words out without wanting to scream even more at the both of them.

“you know what, do what you want. i want no part of it.” you hissed before storming out of the room.

it hurt because you loved the na’vi people. it hurt because jake was going to be in on it and possibly cause harm to them. it jut because you actually thought…

no. why else was he here? why else did he take his brother’s place? at the end of the day he was just like the rest of them.

it had been a week since jake had seen you and started becoming one of the people. jake had decided then that he didn’t like you being mad at him and he would do whatever he could to have you smile at him again.

so when he had time to sneak away from the training, in his avatar body, he found your lab deep within the forest. he had gotten a flower that he was sure you would like and brought it to you at your lab.

you were shocked to see him to say the least. but still pissed at him.

“i don’t want you to be angry.” he’d say while looking down at you. there was a heavy look across his face that you couldn’t interpret. but at the time you didn’t care much for it.

you took the flower, “a flower won’t fix it, jake.”

“what can i do to fix it, y/n? just tell me and i’ll do it.”

you didn’t understand why he was persistent, or why he even cared about what you thought at all.

“you know what i want, jake.”

another look crossed his face. “and what if i can’t give it to you? i want this to end just as peacefully as you want it to.”

“i don’t want this at all!” you snapped. “this isn’t right and you know it, jake!”

“i can convince them to relocate!”

“why should they be forced to move from their home because of an outsider’s greed?”

jake of course didn’t have an answer for that. he knew you were right, he knew they wouldn’t peacefully relocate. he just wanted to hold on, find a way. for them. for you. he wanted to make this right. he wanted...

he wanted so many things he couldn’t have right now.

instead, he invites you to his ceremony.

“i want you to be there. please.”

you, despite how stubborn you wanted to be, ended up going. the flower he gave you was still clutched in your hand as you watched him become one of the people. but you studied the culture long enough to know what it meant. you knew long enough it meant that after this he would be able to choose a mate if he wanted to or not, depended on his so-called mission he was given by the colonel.

but your question was answered when you saw him go off with neytiri.

you knew he had made a choice.

when the rda attacked the forest, jake was panicked. for the omaticaya people and for you. he couldn’t find you anywhere. jake wouldn’t know what to do if something had happened to you in all of this mess. and things got even worse when he revealed to the clan that he had known about the attack and they had him tied up next to grace. more destruction came. the hometree was destroyed and he still has yet to find you.

then he got pulled out of his avatar and arrested for treason. for the short time in the cell, he couldn’t stop thinking about you, worrying about you. you were still out there while they were here. you could be gone by now and he wouldn’t even know.

you had been in your lab when the attack on pandora happened. you rushed out of your small lab to take in all of the damage with tearful eyes. you had never hated the rda so much until then. seeing the na’vi die, seeing the nature being destroyed by missiles. it made your heart burn.

mo’at had found you and brought you back to the tree of souls with all the other surviving omaticaya people. you, of course were worried for jake, especially when you hadn’t seen him among the surviving people. you even asked neytiri where he was but she wouldn’t say, clearly too angered at the mere mention of his name. you put together that they must’ve found out about jake. and as much as you wanted to say “i told you so” whenever you saw him, you were still worried that he wouldn’t show up.

it wasn’t until jake had rode in on toruk did you feel immense relief and awe when you saw him. and because of the toruk he had rode on, the people knew he was now the toruk makto, and he had gained their trust once more.

but when he reveals that grace is hurt and that he needed their help, the relief was gone and instead replaced with more worry for your friend.

jake had come straight toward you after, asking if you were okay.

but instead you were rambling.

“what happened to grace? how bad is it?”

“y/n, are you okay?”

“is she dying? you wouldn’t be asking for help if it wasn’t bad, jake, how bad is it?!”

“y/n!” his larger hands cupped your face gently, making you focus on him. he was breathless, you realized. eyes staring at her desperately. “are you okay?”

shocked by this, all you did was respond quietly. “yes, i’m fine.”

mo’at attempted to transfer grace’s spirit to her avatar body permanently, but it was too late. you grieved quietly as jake gave his speech to the people about fighting back against the sky people. days go by and jake recruits many more tribes to join the fight. he had come back when you were back at the tree of souls, hoping to talk to grace’s spirit if she was listening.

he stood close at your side. the height difference between you two was ghastly but you had grown used to the na’vi towering over you. although it was different when it was jake.

“will you fight?” he asked you.

“of course.” you said without hesitation.

jake frowns, “do you have an avatar?”

“yes.”

“will you use it?”

“no.”

“then how can you say you will fight?”

you frown back at him, “it’s my decision, sully. i rather die as a human rather than someone i’m not meant to be.”

“but i do not want you to die.” he hissed, grasping your shoulders. the intense look had fallen on him once more. and this time it overwhelmed you. “if you will fight, fine. but promise me you won’t die, l/n. please.”

you didn’t make any promises but you said you would try. you knew that wasn’t enough for him and he knew he couldn’t stop you from defending the na’vi. because that was what you had always done from the beginning. and you weren’t going to stop now.

you didn’t see jake after that. instead you were alone. after stealing a ship, you had taken down at least two of the rda’s machines before your ship had been hit. right before you crashed, you used your gun to bring one final blow to the colonel’s, making his fall as well.

unfortunately, you were badly injured. and it didn’t look too good, especially when you crawled your way out of the ship and rested against the tree in your final moments. you never imagined dying alone and in the middle of a war. your parents were already long dead, you had no siblings, no children, no lover. regret couldn’t even describe what you felt in that moment.

mo’at had found you before you passed out. she held your face gently and whispered something in her language.

and she said something you never thought you’d ever hear.

“i see you, y/n.” she whispered to you quietly.

the chaos around you had gone silent when she had said those words to you. those familiar words that was only used between their people. and here she was, saying it to you like a mother would a daughter.

“your death will not be in vein.”

you shake your head weakly, “i don’t want to die yet.” but it seemed the world was only darkening as you spoke. it’s as if the more you talked the more energy you wasted. “j-just tell jake…”

“ssh, little one.” mo’at gently patted your head. “rest. he will be okay.”

that’s what you hoped. that’s what you wished.

and before you knew it, darkness enveloped you.

technically, you hadn’t expected to wake up. you hadn’t expected to good as new or have blue skin when you did.

and you certainly didn’t expect to see your dead human body next to you.

mo’at stood next you, saying you were now apart of the na’vi. after risking your life to save her people, she believed you deserved a second chance.

she had pulled you away to the celebration for winning the war. it wa strange being in a whole new body but you were glad. you were happy.

there was just one thing you wanted.

“where’s jake?”

mo’at raised her brows, “jakesully? he should be back soon from meeting.”

so you stayed next to mo’at for most of the day, learning the basics of what to expect now that you were na’vi.

jake had returned later that night and found your body at the tree of souls. he saw the blood, the loss of color in your face. you had been dead for a while. but under the tree of souls?

“y/n!” he called.

he went searching for you. it wasn’t until he reached the camp where the celebration was did he finally see you. the new you.

both your eyes locked. jake came to you first and pulled you in a tight and long hug.

“i told you not to die, skxawng.”

you grinned into his shoulder, ”ah, so you know what that means now.”

he frowned at you though the amused glint in his eyes wasn’t missed. “y/n.”

“next time i’ll pinky promise.”

knowing he couldn’t stay mad at you, he just pulls you into another hug. this one lasting longer than the other. he just couldn’t find himself letting you go any time soon.

a bit of time goes by. you train to officially become one of the people. then you arrived at your ceremony. you officially become a part of the na’vi.

after the ceremony, you go and ride off with jake and his new banshee to a private spot for just the two of you and have a lighthearted chat about how you both were excited for your new lives.

then the topic of mates comes up.

“have you chosen one?” you ask despite already knowing the answer.

jake nods, “yes.”

of course.

you try not to frown as you looked away and said halfheartedly, “it might take awhile to choose mine. tsu’tey doesn’t seem too bad. he could make a good mate just as neytiri is for you.”

suddenly his strong grip wrapped around your arm and pulled you closer to him, surprising you.

“i never said i wanted neytiri.” then he smirked amusingly, “nor did i say who it was.”

you pouted, “you’re being mean.”

he nestled his nose into your shoulder as he mumbled against your skin, “i’m still wondering if she would accept me.”

it could be too good to be true. you wanted to believe it.

almost as if jake read your mind, he cupped your face with his larger hands and pulled her face closer to his.

“will you have me? as yours?”

without hesitation you nod, “yes. i will have you if you choose to have me.”

he smiled then, “i wouldn’t have it any other way.”

then your lips touched. then your heart melted. then your skin was no longer cold.

he was yours. and you were his.

#avatar #avatar jake sully #avatar jake #avatar jake sully x reader #avatar jake x reader #jake sully x reader #jake sully #avatar preferences #avatar headcanons #avatar x reader #avatar imagine #i'm sorry this is like a novel lol #avatar x black!reader

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blasphemecel · 4 months ago

Text

Michael Kaiser — Voyeur to Belonging

PAIRING: Michael Kaiser/Reader WORD COUNT: 5.3k TYPE: Humor, Slice of life/domestic fluff (its technically a roommate setting) WARNING(S): None? NOTE(S): Reader character is an alien. Yes you read that right. A shapeshifting alien of some sort. The narrative is non-linear

Birthday

There was a coconut on the kitchen counter top.

Kaiser was confused. Most days he was disoriented on account of your incomprehensible behavior anyway, but this was new. You stood there, caressing it, and he wasn’t really sure what it was supposed to achieve while he watched you. Of course, there was other bullshit too, but the coconut was the most attention grabbing.

He didn’t bother asking. He also didn’t bother announcing himself to begin with when he first entered, since he had come home not long ago, and mainly because he was impolite. It was fine because you didn’t have any standard conventions about courtesy.

Instead of raising any valid questions, he went to shower.

Not like he cared to converse — when he wouldn’t immediately see you upon entering, he’d walk around looking for you because the thought you disappeared somewhere without notice kind of irritated him, and then he’d spot you and he’d be calm again. And then he wouldn’t explain what it was all about. Maybe you thought it was some funny human behavior he was exhibiting. The notion was appealing.

Though Kaiser was a bit over the top and didn’t have much consideration towards the water bill which made showering an entire event for him, it couldn’t have taken that long for him to emerge. He still had the towel on by the time he stepped back into the kitchen, curiosity eating at him. What was the coconut for? Surely it was something moronic and frivolous, but he was too impatient to keep pretending inquiring was beneath him.

Any intrigue he was feeling dropped to the floor and dissolved into the puddle he’d created by moving around while still wet when his brain processed the sight in front of him.

There was… a lot of powder(?) everywhere. Mostly on the kitchen counter and then some.

“What the hell,” said Kaiser, gesturing. “What the hell are you doing?”

He didn’t really like getting angry over stupid shit like this, the kind of problem which could easily be fixed. It reminded him of his dad, but then again how the fuck was he supposed to stay calm in this situation. In the face of his own ire, Kaiser was nauseous.

You turned around to respond and seemed rather joyous. His jaw clenched further, his forehead wrinkled more.

“My preparations,” you said.

“Your preparations,” he repeated. “For what?”

“The cake.”

Kaiser pinched the bridge of his nose.

“The recipe said it needs ‘coconut-pecan frosting,’” you continued even though he did not want an elaboration.

It occurred to him what had happened. Usually it would be more obvious, but the shock was so severe, he didn’t contemplate the situation as he was focusing his energy on not blowing a gasket. “You can buy the ingredients for that at the store-”

“Well, I didn’t.”

“-not grind it down. Would you hunt and skin a fucking chicken in cold blood if you wanted to make wings?!” He was raising his voice now.

The volume grated on your nerves and you raised your hands as if to placate him, backing off. Your reaction didn’t mollify him in the slightest. “It’s more convenient and it costs no money.”

“How is it more convenient?” There was a loaded silence. Kaiser didn’t understand where you got a whole coconut to begin with, but that was besides the point. “Why were you trying to make a cake anyway? ‘Cause if it’s some shitty new hobby you’re taking up again, do it away from my house.”

You blinked at him twice in this slow, deliberate manner, scrutinizing him as if he was stupid for not understanding what the purpose of this was. Then you said, “For Micha’s birthday.”

Even though you’d flinched away from him and he kept yelling without a care, that was what it took for him to immediately deflate and feel like shit. If anything, he was flustered and unsure, all that bravado for naught. You wanted to celebrate with him — wanted to do something for him. Remembered the date, even. His hand wrapped around his throat unconsciously, albeit without squeezing.

It wasn’t an extraordinary or special occasion. You technically celebrated with him last year too, but you didn’t know what that was all about. Wherever you came from, you claimed birthday parties weren’t a ‘practice’ there. The two of you were similar, in a way.

“Listen, so, I looked up ‘German cake’ because you claimed you were from Germany. The website said to use coconut-pecan frosting.”

“I don’t claim I was from Germany, I really am, and I still am, it’s not past tense,” he said, trying to distract from his regret by nitpicking.

“Well, anyway,” you beamed at him, and then you reached out towards him, and then you embraced him with the skills of a natural, even though that was something else you said wasn’t a ‘practice,’ “happy birthday, Micha!”

He let go of his neck to stiffly wrap his arms around your back. There was coconut powder on your fingers still, and it was sticking to his bare skin in clumps and copious amounts because you were touching him since he was still wet. It was a funny ploy, intentional, like you were checking how far you could go with an abused dog, trying to see if it’s comfortable with you yet. If giving him affection was enough for him to overlook anything in the world.

Kaiser was enjoying your hug, but he didn’t say anything about it beyond an ungrateful sounding thanks after the birthday wish. It was obvious, though, in the way he held onto you tighter the moment you tried to separate from him.

“But what about the cake? Should I scrap it…?”

“You can burn down the kitchen if you want to,” allowed Kaiser, both generous and unwise. Imprudent in that he was trying to flex on an alien in a roundabout way — look, I am rich, I do not care about superficial things like the kitchen, and coming from the guy who almost threw a tantrum over it.

The development pleased you, however, because you cheered and pecked him on the cheek. He flushed under the attention. You always found it fascinating, the way his skin could change colors, even if the shift wasn’t so dramatic. “Yay,” you said as an afterthought, “I love fire.”

The experiment was a success. You could get away with pretty much anything as long as you played your cards right.

To Kaiser’s surprise, the cake even ended up coming out delicious. Again he did not compliment you on it.

Dye

Kaiser was in the bathroom, which was a place he spent a lot of time in. But instead of admiring himself (that was what he called his creepy staring at his reflection), he was doing something to his hair. He was applying a mysterious liquid to it and he’d tied it up strangely. You hoped it wasn’t a new look he was trying.

“Do you need something?” he asked, not looking at you.

You stepped closer. Not knowing how to formulate a more specific question on the matter, you asked, “What is this behavior?” and then gestured vaguely at what he was doing.

For a second, Kaiser halted in surprise at the strange wording. “I’m refreshing my dye.”

“Ah,” you said with a smile, “I thought it was natural?”

“Sorry you had to find out this way.”

“You are deceiving.”

“Hopefully it wasn’t too big of a heartbreak.”

“Are you insecure your hair isn’t blue, Micha?” you asked. “The advice columns always say you should just be yourself.”

There was a good chance you were mocking him, but due to the possibility you were genuinely concerned about him, he wrinkled his nose to make a show of his disdain towards your ignorance and said, “No, it’s not a self esteem thing. Who the fuck is insecure their hair isn’t blue?”

“Are you trying to signal you’re poisonous?”

“I’m not some shitty animal,” he said in earnest, even though this confirmed you were messing with him.

“Do you cut it by yourself too?”

“Yes.”

“Why, can’t you afford a barber?”

Kaiser’s eye twitched in irritation. “I don’t like strangers touching my head.” It came out sounding stupid in relation to a hairstylist, but he hoped you wouldn’t question it.

“Ah, ok.” You smiled in an unsettling way. Kaiser tried to concentrate. There was a long bout of silence before you delivered the next ego killer of a question, “If you cut it by yourself, why would you willingly shape it like that?”

“There’s nothing wrong with it.” He crossed his arms and tilted up his chin, upturning his nose in a snobby gesture, before he ran his fingers through his hair. “In fact, I think it’s unique and charming, and one of my best features.”

You grimaced as you watched. “Micha, you’re totally messing it up! Don’t move like that! It’s dripping everywhere and you’re getting it all over your fingers.”

He, too, blinked like an owl, and let go of his strands at a dramatically slow pace, and then he stared at the tips of his fingers coated in blue like they were burned. “Fuck.” Then he glanced at his reflection in the mirror and realized he had smeared dye where he was supposed to still be blond. “Fuuuuck.”

You stood there, useless. As sympathetic as you were to his predicament, you didn’t want to contribute anything.

Kaiser narrowed his gaze at you anyway and said, “Maybe instead of standing there distracting me, you should help me fix it.”

“Ah. The mystic workings of the concoction evade me.”

“They clearly don’t!”

You inched away from him until you were out of the door. Kaiser bared his teeth and glared at the spot even after you’d long vacated it.

Massage

Your human was ill-tempered and prone to sulking.

Often he was unhappy or had an attitude for no discernible reason. Most days, on average, he could find an opportunity to turn at least three interactions into something painful.

The internet was an unintelligent place, which made it easy to parse through (as long as you didn’t take everything said at face value, which you learned after you warned him that his deodorant was going to give him breast cancer; apparently people do not fact check before publishing and lying is not a punishable offense). All you had to do was type, and there — information. You were used to the more reliable system back home, but those networks had nothing to offer on this culture, so…

Anyway, you searched for inspiration for what you could do. It was obvious Kaiser was susceptible to kindness and you thought maybe you could coax him into being more pleasant, at least occasionally. So, what you looked up was ‘nice gestures.’

A lot of the results seemed impractical: babysit for free — you could not find a baby; donate — all the items in the house were his so you did not see the point of donating them to him; listen — you listened to him daily; acknowledge his efforts — he looked at you as if you were a weirdo when you started calculating the trajectory of that magnus-impact-whatever thingy and then gave him a fake diploma for a physics degree.

But then you came upon a sensible suggestion, which was to give a massage. It seemed applicable, since he was an athlete and all. Kaiser even agreed to it without making a fuss.

He was on his stomach, lying on the bed with his face half-hidden in the pillow so you wouldn’t be able to see if he did anything embarrassing. You sat on top of him and tried being gentle even though you were tempted to dig your fingers in his scapula just to check if he would scream.

Things were going well, he was even relaxed, until you asked, “Hey Micha, do you get massages?”

“Yeah, sometimes.” Though they were usually the painful sports ones and he wasn’t about to admit to feeling pain in front of you or anything else embarrassing.

“Is it like some kind of mating ritual?”

“What the hell?” he asked, bemused. “Of course the fuck not.”

“So you’re not into the massage therapist?”

“No! Why would you think that? Do you find it erotic, you strange creature?”

“No. I watched this video where a bird was trying to seduce another bird with a silly little dance. Thought it might be something like that.”

“What kind of conclusion is that?” he asked. You could tell even through the muffle that he was gritting his teeth. You decided to massage his face after you’re done with this, since he made those ugly expressions so often and probably had tension. Maybe the rigidity was making him easy to vex. “I swear, you assume such stupid shit, it appalls me.”

Kaiser drifted off to sleep mid complaining about your apparent cluelessness and woke up in a good mood a few hours later. However, the bad side effect was that he started demanding massages any time he perceived things weren’t going his way, so then you had to think of a way to trick him out of his giving orders addiction.

Clothes

“I like wearing yours, though,” you whined. It was unbefitting for someone at a luxury store, but then again what did you care.

Kaiser’s eyebrows pinched together. It was obvious the employees were judging you both considering the brain dead conversation you’d been having, but he had a different problem entirely. Like a toddler who didn’t want to share his toys at the playground, he hissed, “They’re my clothes, not yours! I’ll get you some.”

You pouted. The action was extremely ungrateful and petulant considering not everyone had a celebrity begging to let them buy them expensive new clothes, but as already established, you didn’t care that you were trifling. “Is there a robe or something, at least?”

“No, there aren’t any robes.” He was already exhausted, squeezing his eyes shut and massaging his temples.

You rolled your eyes and faked a loud yawn.

“At least try one out.” Kaiser pulled out some random miscellaneous item from the rack you were arguing in front of and shoved it into your hands with this expectant look on his face.

Deciding to humor him, you moved to strip. Thankfully it didn’t come to that since Kaiser stopped you, pulling your top back down before you’d even gotten to exposing your midriff.

“You’re uncivilized. Go to the changing rooms.”

“Such a pathetic, prudish society,” you said as if everyone else was wrong. From your perspective it was probably true.

“It’s not prudish, it’s called public indecency and I don’t want to associate with a reprobate.”

“That’s a new one, Micha! I haven’t heard it before.”

He rolled his eyes and ushered you in the direction of the changing rooms. His gaze followed after you while you meandered there, disinterest in the affair palpable. Ingrate.

Kaiser picked a few more clothes he wanted to see you try on. When he turned around, the assistant nearby was looking at him strangely. He remained stoic and went on standing tall and proud as if she was the weird one.

Origin

Kaiser liked to brood on the balcony because he thought that was a productive and angsty activity, fit for a troubled intellectual. You did not understand the point (or even what he was doing in particular), so sometimes you hung around him indifferently. Before growing better acquainted with each other he ignored you, although it was nice to have an audience for his mental movie anyway. He was the type of person who enjoyed things like that.

As time passed and he got more used to your presence, though, he’d sit down with you and talk to you instead. That day he asked you, “You never told me, how’d you end up here?” … With me?

“Micha is rich with a big house!” you said with a grin. His spirits dampened — the reasoning was practical, but he would’ve preferred something more poetic maybe. You went on, “I thought I could hide in the vents, but you found me after I snuck in. Whoops.”

He made a face. “You’re such a weird fucking… creepy crawly.” Then he cursed himself because he would’ve preferred to be more articulate.

“And you are a toddler.”

“Did you try anywhere else before my place, though?”

“Yeah. The guy found me before I could hide and called me a naked homeless bum! And then he tried to beat me with a shovel.”

“You must be bad at hiding,” said Kaiser in a tone as if you were beneath him, unconcerned by this information. Then an odd detail stood out to him. “I’m pretty sure you were dressed when I first saw you.”

You smiled at him, but did not elaborate on where you got those stained clothes from back then.

There was an implication.

Morning

You hung onto Kaiser while he brushed his teeth, hugging him from the back. Usually you slept in way after him, but there were rare occasions you’d barge in on him in the mornings, if he rustled too much and disturbed you. Again, for someone who preached that this was not a ‘practice,’ you sure did it a lot.

“Micha, why do you brush so hard? I don’t believe it’s any more effective.”

“Shut up,” he said, making an effort to go slower and less aggressive now that you’d pointed it out. “Don’t watch me. I don’t accept constructive criticism,” he added when you didn’t respond.

Though you changed your appearance to look human (albeit still a bit uncanny in a way he couldn’t quite place — maybe his knowledge that you were extraterrestrial hindered his view), the inherent differences between you and him were the most obvious when you were in contact skin to skin. He wasn’t warm to begin with, but your skin was so much cooler, it was enough to startle him if he didn’t see you coming. There was a contrast in texture, too.

Your hand rested over his chest while you began leaving feather light kisses over his nape and then down to his shoulder. Kaiser was annoyed because he was getting goosebumps. “You’re so clingy sometimes,” he complained.

“Your heart always starts beating faster when I kiss you,” you said. “It’s cute.”

“Stop observing me like a scientist.”

You hugged him tighter and kissed him a bit more firmly. “I wanna bite you real hard past the skin and suck your blood. You’d probably be one of the sweeter ones.”

What a creepy thing to say at seven in the morning. Kaiser had to respect your dedication to the craft at this point.

“Leech,” he said with disdain, though to be honest he was kind of flustered. “I thought you’re supposed to be an alien, not some lame vampire.”

“What? You have blood-sucking creatures here, don’t you, Micha? There is hematophagy in nature.”

“That’s not really the point.”

“I guess so,” you said.

Kaiser was partly annoyed because he was getting butterflies in his stomach, which was stupid and childish. It was clear you wanted to taste him more than you already had, and while usually that would have a more indecent connotation, in your case it was frightening. Like, so disconcerting, he was afraid of you. And it was confusing to be turned on and scared at the same time, but somehow the anxiety was pleasant.

Texting

You lounged around in the bathtub. There were lit candles and blue petals and some other stereotypical bullshit littered about, and you’d been wasting more time than necessary anyway. It wasn’t your fault the world was so dull whenever Kaiser was away from you. That was why when he wasn’t around the house, you did all sorts of extraneous things.

With a reach, you felt around for your phone until you could grab it, and then you turned it on and took a selfie. When you opened your chat with him, you saw he still hadn’t read or replied to anything else you sent him throughout the day, but you kinda forgot you did that anyway.

There were pictures of the sky and a few trees you liked and some old man you talked to when you went out hiking and of your meal at a restaurant which you didn’t even finish because it made you ill, all coupled with unimportant captions.

You sent him the selfie, where you were frowning.

You - 11:07 Micha I miss you soooooo much! I had some fun today but overall it’s boring I love you ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Michael Kaiser - 03:32 Don’t spam me Replied to “I had some…”: Whatever, suffer more without me I love you too

Label

“Micha,” you said with grave seriousness as you stared down at your phone, “you have a paraphilia.”

He flinched at the word, directed at him no less, and gritted his teeth. “What nonsense are you saying now? Always throwing around random shit in the air like you’re getting paid.”

You turned the screen towards him, pointing. It was some list on Wikipedia and your finger was hovering near the word ‘exophilia.’ “This is what you have,” you said matter-of-factly.

Kaiser had an unreadable expression, mostly because it was vacant and unimpressed.

“No need to use words you don’t understand the nuance of.” He smirked, getting over the initial… whatever reaction he was having, and then he reached out to wrap an arm to pull you into his lap while he sat like he was on a throne even though it was just a lounge chair. Kaiser gestured in the air with ostentation while he spoke, “It only makes sense an extraordinary person like myself would have a unique lover, to gaze upon otherworldly beauty, unlike all those other scoundrels who need to mingle among themselves.”

Now you were the one with a blank face. After some staring, you tapped his cheek. “Micha is so silly and pretentious sometimes…”

“When you talk about me like that, you make me feel really stupid. You’re supposed to feel flattered, not insult me.”

You ignored the complaint, but wrapped your arms around his neck and leaned in to kiss him on the cheek a few times as an appeasement. As usual, he melted into it, and he found himself embarrassed because it was such a small thing to get so affected by.

“Besides, you’ve got to have the same thing. Because I am to you what you are to me,” Kaiser said, still feeling a need to justify himself.

“Hmm. Yes. That’s true. Yay, we’re a freaky couple! Isn’t it nice?”

Kaiser didn’t understand what was so appealing to you with your enthusiasm about the word choice and all. At least if he was sick for his attraction, so were you. There was a unity in that.

Birthday II

You greeted Kaiser outside when he arrived and began dragging him back in, excited to show him something. Kaiser decided to be a pissy killjoy purely for the love of the game, “I don’t see what the point of buying me a present with my money is. I could do that on my own and probably pick something better too.”

“Don’t worry. I made it myself.”

Well, now he was vaguely scared about what it could be. But he was all cool and collected on the outside, so it didn’t count as real trepidation in his mind.

It was in the middle of the corridor on the second floor. Even though he already had a glimpse of it while approaching, you still presented it to him as if he hadn’t seen it at all, stretching out your arms and pursing your lips for the grand reveal.

There stood a statue of him posing with a ball and some kind of trophy. Kaiser didn’t bother asking how you ‘made it yourself.’ A lot of things about you, he was better off just not knowing. And even if he did, he might not get it. He didn’t want to be in a position where he misinterpreted you entirely, so it was better this way, like some kind of mystery.

But anyway this was very embarrassing. You had some kind of notion you had about him which was being communicated right now without words, that he was the kind of guy who sucked his own dick so much he’d enjoy this demented present. The most shameful part was that you were correct, he kind of liked it. It looked nice and all and it was life sized. His pose was grandiose. He didn’t know if he should be flattered or if he should dig a hole and bury his head in it, but either way he was made to feel exposed and attacked by your actions.

After the initial inner conflict, Kaiser decided to address you since it was becoming uncomfortable. “Thanks, you captured my likeliness rather well.”

You seemed pleased by the feedback. Often he noticed you cared about the more pragmatic things, in this case about whether your handiwork was accurate, if it was up to par.

He stood next to it and smirked at you before asking, “Who looks better?”

“Micha is the most beautiful man in the world,” you cheered. “He’s even more beautiful than himself!”

Hehehehe.

But he wouldn’t dare make such an undignified sound out loud.

Kaiser preened at the praise, even though he knew you were wording it in such an exaggerated way just to please him, going along with his fishing for compliments. While he preferred to think of himself as a complex and elusive person who no one understood, there were things about him that were rather simple.

Taxi

That day you had an interesting conversation with Kaiser over the phone. He instructed you to go to the airport and you argued with him about how planes were insufficient for transportation and then you found out they didn’t have teleportation pods and then both of you got too distracted over some made up, incoherent conflict. But anyway, in the end you asked him what you were supposed to do at the airport to begin with since it was such a boring place, and he said he wanted you to pick him up.

Once you climbed inside the passenger seat, you gave the driver the address Kaiser sent you. The driver didn’t seem particularly inclined to converse, but you talked to him. “My roommate is asking me to pick him up.”

“Cool,” he said, not giving a fuck.

“Between you and me, isn’t he handsome?”

You smiled and flashed him your lock screen, which was an unflattering picture of Kaiser (what the big stink was about, you didn’t remember). Those were surprisingly easy to capture considering how often he made all those ugly grimaces.

Though the driver wasn’t a football fanatic, he recognized the man — a celebrity. His exterior stood strong and he remained impassive on the outside, but he thought to himself, I’m stuck in a car with a delusional socially inept erotomaniac.

He replied in an even tone, “Sure.”

He also thought he was entering mass psychosis when fifteen minutes after he dropped you off, you brought back Michael Kaiser to the car, in the flesh (you were carrying around his luggage as if it weighted nothing before you loaded it in the trunk), and you were even talking to him about his away game, and he was bitching about some other players you didn’t seem to recognize beyond Kaiser’s hatred of them. Which implied you weren’t even a football fan.

Regardless, the driver acted natural.

Orbit

You’d been acting withdrawn all day this weekend, which worried Kaiser since it was uncharacteristic, and in turn he started being annoying and dramatic if not overbearing, as if he was seeking some sign in your responses that you weren’t mad at him through his antics.

The reason for this erratic behavior was rather pitiful. Within him there was an unease.

It wasn’t like you were locked in or anything. You were free to go out at any time, and you did. There were times he feared you’d figure out how to go back to your planet — selfish as it was, he hoped such good fortune would never befall you so you’d need to stay with him — and worse he thought maybe during one of your strolls you’d meet someone, get to know them. You had some acquaintances, but they weren’t really close to you, and he thought if there was someone you connected with and got to know better, you’d realize he was defective. Pathologically egocentric and incapable of… Well, he wasn’t sure what it was, but he knew sides of him were hollow, he was lacking. Since he was mishandled as a kid; even his parents couldn’t love him.

Of course, Kaiser did the mature thing any adult would do and didn’t speak his mind, letting it eat at him.

So his anxiety spiked when after all that avoiding him — on his day off no less — you asked, “Micha, don’t you think it’s time for you to go back to all the other humans?”

It didn’t even sound like a rejection, more like you were shooing him away. He just froze. There was an expression on his face as if he was spacing out, eyes widened slightly and mouth set in a thin line.

“Why do you say that?” he asked right back, trying to remain calm.

“Because you’d always rather spend your free time with me than anyone else. And you’re always doing all those things for me… Doesn’t it other you from your peers? What if I start rubbing off on you?”

Kaiser grabbed you by the shoulders. Though such desperate movements and measures and everything-s were below him in his opinion (or at least they were counterintuitive to the way he portrayed himself), he was already on edge and he didn’t want to mince his words. Like the window for winning you over was timed and he was sprinting to squeeze himself in. He supposed he was able to strip himself of his self-inflicted guidelines if necessary. It was just that he usually didn’t deem things outside of football important.

“I don’t care about that. I choose to spend all that time with you because I enjoy it. You make me feel human, so don’t leave. I want to love and care for someone and… I want to be loved and cared for in return, too.”

You seemed surprised by this. Kaiser thought such a thing would be obvious, but then again there were gaps between you that left room for misunderstandings which wouldn’t even be taken into account before they arose.

His love for you was self-involved to an extent. There was a certain light you saw him in — as a human — and he liked experiencing himself in that way through your perspective, but there was more to it than that, something he’d never felt before and couldn’t put into words. So it was real nonetheless, even if coming from someone deficient like him.

“Do you really mean that?” you asked.

“Yeah. Of course.”

He was really firm on it, too, and didn't hesitate before answering. You were a little nervous about what was about to happen.

“I want you to stay with me for as long as possible,” he said. There was an unspoken, Do you?

This seemed to cheer you up from whatever had caused your doubts because you smiled again. “Let’s mispronounce je t’aime together till the end of time.”

“What a disgustingly cute sentiment,” Kaiser said, letting go of your shoulders to embrace you properly, and then he started leaning in.

You shared a slow kiss with him. At first it was gentle and hesitant, but then you both relaxed into it, and he grew more confident in his advances. Kaiser caressed every part of you he touched with what you recognized as real desire, like it didn’t matter that you didn’t really look the way you presented yourself to him or how different you were from one another or even that there might be ways in which your bodies were incompatible.

___

This was just some stupid experimental half joke half allegorical bs that I wrote because I had the idea and I'm very normal and casual about the fact that kaiser sees himself as not inherently possessing humanity. Anyway if something is unclear u can ask me about it or share what you think!

#blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #michael kaiser x reader #kaiser x reader #blue lock x you #bllk x you #michael kaiser x you

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minniethemoocherda · 5 months ago

Text

Am I Pretty Enough To Fucking Die?

A/N: Sorry it's been a while since I've posted! IRL stuff got kinda busy for a minute! But I hope it was worth the wait! Also this takes place before my last fic "Saying Something Stupid" Xxxxxxx

Ao3

FF.net

They should have realised the first time that they should have died.

They had spent so long in their human form back then that they had nearly been successful in making themselves forget what it was like to be in their natural liquid state. But subconsciously, they mustn't have had, as it was all too easy for Sinister to bring them back from death.

Countless of the countless experiments Sinister put them should have killed them. At times they wished that he had. But as much as it felt like he was trying too kill them, Sinister always brought them back to life.

It wasn't until when Sentinel-Trask shot a fireball at their face, and they heard Logan scream their name in a repeat of that first fatal night, that the thought first came to them. Because whilst the force of having their body ripped apart hurt like hell itself, it could only have been half an hour later that they were able to pull the burnt blobs of their body back together.

Logan refused to leave their side for at least a week after that and whilst Morph wasn't going to complain, they couldn't help but wonder if the extra protection was even necessary.

Morph had no idea about the science behind it but they knew that somehow they didn't need a brain to function. That the few times they reverted back to a full liquid state, just because they didn't have a physical brain to control them, didn't mean they couldn't. Whenever they were in a human form they would create whatever they needed to move their body, such as their heart or lungs or whatever gendered organs they were feeling that day, even though technically they didn't need them to function, as e it would hurt if one of those concocted organs were injured, as it was their cells that were getting damaged, at the end of the day, they could just shift themselves a new one.

They knew that there were other shapeshifters out there. Mystique being the most famous amongst them. Morph had never met her in person but they had read her file. They knew that she could also change their internal organs, it was how Nightcrawler had come into existence after all. And Beast theorised that she could shift at a cellular, maybe even atomic level. But her natural state was still human, a blue skinned and yellow eyed one but human non the less. Whereas Morph's natural state was as a pile of gloop.

Currently they were in what the team saw as their normal form, pale grey skin with a featureless face. The others did know that it wasn't their real form, but Morph doubted that many of them remembered that.

Except for Logan of course, who knew them better than anyone.

They were sitting besides The Wolverine now, a half forgotten game of go-fish scattered across the table between them and bottles of beer keeping them warm against the chill of the evening breeze.

Stealing glances at Logan wasn't anything new for them but this time was different. They gazed at how the last rays of sun illuminated the sharp edge of his nose, wondering how many sunsets that face had seen. Morph believed that Logan was a sight that they would never tire of seeing.

"You gonna keep starin' or are you gonna ask whatever's in that bald head of yours?" Logan grumbled after Morph must have been looking for too long.

The liver and stomach they'd created, digested the alcohol, giving their body a warm buzz, which was probably why Morph didn't think much before opening their mouth.

"When did you realise that you were immortal?"

Judging by the look on Logan's face that wasn't what he had expected them to ask but he answered anyway.

"The first time I remember getting shot in the head."

"Yeah but how did you know, for certain that you were immortal?"

"I don't. Not yet." Logan shrugged. "Beast reckons that gettin' my head cut off would probably do the trick but I ain't plannin' on testin' that out." He then fixed them with those sharp blue eyes of his. "Why?"

Morph took a deep breath. Honestly after coming out as gay and non-binary, this wasn't half as scary.

"I don't think I can die."

"Oh shit." Logan replied after a moment, rare genuine shock crossing his grizzled features. "You sure?"

"Not yet." Morph repeated back to him in his own voice.

"Well I definitely ain't helpin' you test that out either." Logan snorted as though the pair of them were just shooting the breeze, as though this conversation was a completely normal thing to talk about. As thought this was just nothing thing to add to the list of things they had in common like their love of beer, enjoying taking the piss out of Scott and past psychological torture.

But then Logan had always been the only one who understood them. It was what made him so easy to talk to. Almost too easy. Which made it hard not to tell him how they truly felt.

"Looks like you're stuck with me then old man." They said instead.

"Huh." Before Morph had the chance to reflect on that reflective tone, Logan continued. "Well I can think of worse people to be stuck for eternity with."

"Worse then me?" Morph said through the sharp teeth of Sabertooth's mouth.

"If you spend the rest if time dressed up at Creed, I'll kill you myself." Logan said, punctuating his point with the familiar snikt of his claws.

Then the crease in Logan's brow tensed into something sharper.

"Look, sometimes it's harder to be the one who survives. And just 'cus you can't die don't mean you can't feel pain." Logan stated, watching the sun as it finally sunk bellow the horizon.

They both knew that he wasn't talking about the physical kind of pain. It probably wasn't the healthiest conclusion to come to when dealing with ones own mortality or lack there of, but the thought that they couldn't stop coming back to was that it meant that they would never again be able to hurt Logan again with their death.

Then Logan put his claws away, stroking the red of his knuckles as he cleared his throat.

"So don't go looking for new ways to give us all heart attacks alright. I-we don't like seeing you get hurt."

"Trust me I'm not." Morph snorted. "You don't have to worry about me."

Steel blue eyes met their empty grey ones.

"I'll always worry about you."

It wasn't an I love you, and it probably never would be but, promising to care for them for the rest of eternity would most likely be the closest Morph would ever get and they would hold those words forever in their fabricated heart.

Morph honestly hadn't thought too deeply about their new realisation. After coming to terms with their gender and sexuality this was just another thing to add to the long lost of weird shit they'd learnt about themselves.

But it was a comfort to know that whatever life might throw at them, they would always have Logan by their side.

A/N: So the concept of Morph being made of gloop has really stuck in my head and got me thinking how they can function without organs and if they don't need them, then what could actually kill them?? Like they get blasted in the chest in the OG show?? Then Sentinal-Trask blasts them too and we even see them turn to gloop in that shot!!?? So yeah my latest headcanon is that like Logan, they too are potentially immortal! Xxxxxx

#morph #morpherine #wolverine #x men #x men 97 #xmen #morph x men #morph xmen #kevin sydney #logan #logan howlett #james howlett #james logan howlett #morph x wolverine #morph x logan #marvel #xmen 97

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onboardsorasora · 10 months ago

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Honestly, I think my favourite thing is looking through writing prompts. I loved this one

You are getting desperate. You have already tried everything and your husband still thinks you are just a really dedicated cosplayer, not a fairy.

Daniel sighed gustily as he walked outside with his coffee mug and took in what looked like another lack of offering on the brand new altar. He’d hoped that by creating a dedicated space that was clearly altar-like and inviting, that Max would have gotten the hint by now.

He pouted, of course he’d have to go fall in love with the one human who didn’t believe in fairies. It had been cute at first and what kept him coming back to the surface to see Max. To follow him around, keeping other creatures from encroaching on what was his. It was refreshing to not be feared and to be treated not like he could like wipe out a whole bloodline or whatever. But the longer they were together, Daniel was realizing that Max thought this was all a joke. A fantasy.

He hadn’t realized what a big deal it had been when Daniel had finally told him his name. Max had offered his up within the first minute of them ‘officially’ meeting. It wasn’t until after they were living together that things started to become clear.

‘Oh Daniel, I didn’t even hear when you got up early this morning. Do you reapply your make up daily? What do you look like without it?’

‘It’s not makeup Maxy, this is what I look like?’ Daniel glanced dubiously in the mirror at his kohl eye markings and the runes and hieroglyphs that marked up his arms like tattoos. His ears were pointed for forest’s sake and his skin absorbed the sun.

‘Oh, well I accept your choices. It is of course your body.’ Max had left it at that and Daniel had been confused.

Daniel had begun to wonder if Max knew charms and spells because what other reason would there be for a fairy to willingly leave everything they knew to live above ground with a human who refused to even do the most basic things. Max broke fairy rings so often that Daniel just stopped making them on the property.

‘Daniel, why are there all these flower circles in the garden. They are beautiful but a bit much I think.’

‘Maxy, what? They’re fairy rings. They're here because I’m here– so I can visit home easier.’ Daniel was confused. Max looked confused for a second before his face smoothed out into one of understanding. Daniel had started to fear that look.

‘I do suppose they are pretty to look at when you are on the phone with your mother.’

And after that devastation, Max had left it alone.

Daniel glared at the marble altar, he’d thought it was so beautiful. Imagined how lovely it would have been to get offerings on it– how happy it would have made him. But Max had nipped that in the bud.

‘You want me to buy you gifts and place them out there instead of just giving them to you?’ Max had looked at him like it was the dumbest thing Daniel had ever told him. And Daniel had said some stupid shit before.

‘I– when you say it like that…” Daniel whispered. ‘You’re right– it's silly. Never mind Maxy.’

That had been over a week ago and Daniel had already called for its removal. Maybe they could use the foundation to build a bar or something. Maybe Max would appreciate that.

He turned, ready to head through the garden gate so he could wander his territory when a glint caught his eye from the altar. Whatever it was, wasn’t there before because Daniel usually inspected the slab of marble keenly.

Curiously, he stepped closer. Daniel felt his eyes prickle even as his mouth dropped open in surprise. There in the offertory divot was a small package of sweets, the silver wrapping was what had caught his attention. Daniel touched it reverently, his tattooed hand trembling.

He hadn’t gotten an offering in so long, he’d forgotten what it felt like. How the rush of energy felt like a power up. He smiled a wet smile and majiked the candy away.

“Bwoah– where did it go?” Max’s voice was so close that Daniel jumped in surprise. He’d been so focused on his offering he hadn’t noticed his boyfriend's presence. Max was looking at him in abject shock, like he’d never seen him before now.

“I–oh! Below.” Daniel said simply, his runes glowed in the sun before going back to their regular state. “Thank you Maxy.” Daniel said, completely heartfelt. He leaned in and kissed his boyfriend before walking away with more than a pep in his step.

Max watched him go– frozen to the spot. He looked between the altar and Daniel a few times before running a hand through his hair.

“Well, that explains a few things.” He mumbled.

#sksks I hope you like it. I think its silly and cute #max/daniel #maxiel #fairy!Daniel #my fic #ficlet

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bogkeep · 1 year ago

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it was always a strange dichotomy. every middle school classmate i had told me i'd be a millionaire when i grew up, a Famouse Artisté. it's easy enough to imagine as a teen, i suppose: skill equals fame equals money. i was doubtful about this prophecy, not because i wasn't confident in my ability to draw, but because it was hard to imagine a world where i'd be paid for it.

it was an ice breaker game at summer camp. horrible one, really - everyone in a group were given a character profile. now we had to imagine that it was the zombie apocalypse, and the helicopter to safety was two seats short and we had argue why we deserved a spot. the character i got was an asshole doctor of some kind. i don't remember if i argued my way into the helicopter or not, but i do remember the feeling that's been hanging over me my entire life - if the apocalypse happens right now, i have nothing to contribute.

there's something really painful about it. i have cultivated a skill for my whole life, i can make art and tell stories that are entirely unique to me, there is no way to get someone else to create in the exact same way i can, and yet - i've contributed more to capitalist society by sitting in an empty hotel reception for eight hours a day.

which made me develop anxiety, to boot.

i illustrated two children's books. they're some of my best work. the contract i signed was industry standard and the indie author who had hired me was incredibly kind... but even after stock sold out i had earnt little more than some pocket change.

in high school we had an outing to dig our own snow caves that we would spend the night in. in teams, thankfully. i have so little physical strength to speak of, most i could do to help was clear away the snow rubble and toss it outside. i know, i know, my classmates reassured me it was an important job to do, i was an invaluable member of the group, sure - but it's that feeling, you know?

what would my task be in the communist solarpunk commune?

a person cannot be useless. it's a human being. they just exist, no ifs and buts about it. one can only be useless in the eyes of an ableist, capitalist society that sees no value in being alive beyond production and profit.

sometimes i receive messages from internet strangers to tell me something i said - often several years ago - was helpful to them. maybe it was a throwaway comment on a forum. maybe it was replying to a question they could've googled the answer to. maybe it was an encouraging reply to someone's artwork. turns out it mattered to someone. huh.

of course you can learn new skills. i have learnt plenty over the years! i have also learnt that there are limitations to what i can do. that some of the obstacles i face are not in fact obstacles everyone faces. it's not that i can't break tasks into smaller steps, it's more that half of those steps are going to be "rinse your hands because you Touched a Thing and now you're going to have to touch Another Thing." i wonder if that's adding to my cognitive load or something.

i was never raised to be a man, so by all accounts i do not understand why i'm so haunted by the spectre of toxic masculinity - what would i do if i was a medieval peasant and a war broke out? what if i was in a pre-historic hunter gatherer society and i was expected to hunt? what if i was a humble farm boy discovering the sword of the chosen one and the world depended on my non-existing courage to face certain death?

look, it's stupid. these are not scenarios i will find myself in. besides, pre-historic humans depended on community and taking care of each other. that's how we survive.

i'm not useless and i decided to make peace with being useless anyway.

we're surrounded by digital clocks. we can't really escape them. do we need watchmakers? would they save me a spot in the zombie apocalypse helicopter? no, don't answer that. i'm just happy i found something that requires a light touch and an observant eye.

#too long for twitter #I AM NOT ASKING FOR ADVICE I AM JUST MUSING AND WRITING A BLOG POST FOR THE JOY OF WRITING BLOG POSTS #not mentioned: the bachelors degree in art history i took to procrastinate with my life.#i would love to work as an illustrator still. if the opportunity to do so comfortably comes along i will take it #but im also happy to pursue my passion in my free time as something that belongs to me #number one question im asked whenever i tell someone i go to watchmaker school is 'BUT DO YOU STILL DRAW??'#it's like asking if i still breathe. yes! i still do the thing that makes me feel alive #it's just. we live in a world that's hostile to Live Comfortably and Pursue Creative Passions at the same time #and a society that can be so largely dismissive of art sometimes; all the while consuming it en masse #ah you probably get it. you dont need me to tell you

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luxury-nightmare · 4 months ago

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mom says it’s my turn on the writing

tw for mentions of abuse. Nothing to graphic because I cannot write well enough to write something like that with the tact required but it’s there. I would’ve removed it but the video where I get most of my info from described Jack Walker as an “abused toy store owner” and this is what I picture

I do not condone any of the of the actions mentioned in the section and I will take this fic down if it triggers anybody. Jack is an unreliable narrator in this section and I do not believe his thought process

Section starts at “Away from her” and ends at “He moved into the office down the hall.”

Hiding a velidgun from the asylum was way easier than it should have been.

He had been sneaking Klaus into the asylum to keep an eye on him. The velidgun was young, in both lives he had lived, and believe it or not, it’s kinda hard to hire a babysitter for a pink mouse demon that feeds on your sanity.

He knew this was a stupid idea, but the asylum would get suspicious if he took too many days off, and telling Klaus to use his illusions to hide himself whenever anyone walked in was surprisingly effective. He had been trying to keep himself busy as he worked, but Klaus asked a lot of questions.

“Hey Mort?” He asked. Mortimer looked up from his desk and at the young velidgun “yes Klaus?” He said. Klaus leaned against Mortimer’s chair “why do you work here?”

Mortimer put his pencil down. “It pays well, why?” Klaus fidgeted with the pen he was holding “do you, want to work here?” He asked, disgust in his voice. Mortimer rolled his eyes “Absolutely not” he snarled.

“Then why are you here?” Klaus replied bluntly. Mortimer paused, stewing over his thoughts. “I have to, who else would hire, y’know” he gestured to his body. It had been a particularly bad day for his symptoms. The stripes were fully defined now, and his face was completely obscured by inky shadows, two yellow eyes peaking out of the blackness.

“So?” Klaus shrugged, standing up and looking at Mortimer with confusion “can’t you just use your illusions to look human like Auncle Alex does?”

“They haven’t kicked in yet.” Mortimer said.

He still didn’t know why Alex was still making themself look human. They knew what they were, what they were becoming, and they all accepted it. Why would they need to deny it?

Maybe they still hadn’t accepted it themself.

Klaus’s crestfallen face struck at something in Mortimer’s heart. “I never wanted to be here,” he started before he could stop himself “I had a show I wanted to make, got the degrees and learned how to animate. Drew for it a lot too. But it takes a lot of money to start up a show that maybe won’t make it back. I needed a steady job so I could start it up eventually, but now I’m stuck here,”

A hit of malice snuck out of his voice as he spoke those last few words. He shook himself out of it, “it’s not all bad though, I guess.” He finished, then turned to look at Klaus, who looked almost lost in thought.

“Alex said something about a ‘candy mouse’ when I was first created, that was your show wasn’t it” Mortimer blinked a couple times. He had hit the nail right on the head. “Yeah” he said, putting his hand on Klaus’s head

“You look just like him”

————————————————

Needless to say Klaus was bored.

Mortimer said that he needed quiet to work, and Klaus could understand. He didn’t like loud noises very much either.

But what Mortimer didn’t tell him was that his work hours were so long.

The hunger was back

He had been looking through some of the older papers in the back of the office, some older concept art for Candy Mouse that Mort was to sentimental to throw away. Klaus was drawn to them as well. These are technically where he was created, he shared a face with Mort’s favorite character after all.

Some drafts of older character were stored back here, and Klaus got a good look at them. An odd fusion of a snake and a bat dressed as a news reporter, a demon-like character with twisted horns, and in the very back, a green rabbit character.

Klaus quickly became fascinated with this particular draft, digging through the papers and cardboard boxes to find more drawings. He bumped into a particular box with a bit to much force, leaving a dark stain on the cardboard.

“Klaus?” He heard Mortimer’s voice from the desk. He barely noticed until the animator was right behind him. Mortimer had a pension for appearing unnoticed. Klaus jumped and knocked the box with the stain over, spilling drawings all over the floor. “Oh, careful there” Mortimer turned to clean up the mess “I was just coming over to tell you it’s time to go.” He moved the drawings into a pile, then turned to put them back in the box.

He paused, looking at the box, then back at Klaus. “Did it look, like that when you saw it?” Klaus turned back to the box.

A box now completely covered in deep, black ink.

The two watched in confusion as the ink dripped off the cardboard , revealing green patterns that resembled a Jack-in-the box.

“Honestly, I’m too tired to be worried about that right now” Mortimer sighed. Klaus was still confused, but moved closer to Mortimer “come on, let’s go home”

————————————————

Jack had been here since the Halloween incident. He had been offered a janitorial position in the asylum, and with Grimso’s not doing so well after the break-in, he had taken it. The shifts were long, but any excuse he had not to be at home, he would take.

Away from her.

He shudders. Dear lord he needed to man up. A couple mean words wouldn’t kill him.

His check still burned from the times she had slapped him

He moved into the office down the hall. This one belonged that animator guys he believed, Mortimer Gray. He was not looking forward to this.

He opened the door and sure enough, the place looked like a tornado had run through it. Papers and pencils were strewn across every surface. He sighed, and grabbed his broom. This was going to be a long night.

As he turned the corner though, something caught his eye. A box. He turned to get a better look at the thing, accidentally dropping his broom as if in a trace. The thing remained him of an old school Jack-in-the-box, with elaborate designs and twisting green patterns covering every surface. It almost gave him a headache to look at.

Why would an animator need this? Better yet, why would the asylum even give it to him? Was it a personal belonging? He had found weirder stuff in here before.

He couldn’t help himself, he opened the lid and looked inside.

He was greeted with a darkness so intense he swore the world look brighter when he finally managed to tear his eyes off the thing. He stepped back. Something was wrong about this thing, and he wasn’t about to find out what. He grabbed his broom and moved out of the office, planning to just come back later.

Then something grabbed his ankle.

He looked back in horror to see a goopy black tendril emerging from the box. He tried to run, but the thing dragged him towards the box’s open maw no matter how hard he squirmed. He tried to bat it off with his broom the no avail.

The box’s open lid looked more and more like a predators jaws as he was dragged closer to it. He watched in horror as his foot was dragged into the darkness.

And suddenly, the darkness was looking back with yellow eyes.

His screams blended in with the patients.

————————————————

Mortimer walked into his office, tired from the night before. Alex had volunteered to look after Klaus, and he just needed to work.

So when he found a new velidgun lounging on his desk, emerging from the box from last night like a Jack-in-the-box from hell, he was both shocked, confused, and incredibly frustrated.

Dear Six Lord he had made another one.

#dreams of an insomniac #doai #doai sitcom au #doai mortimer #mortimer gray doai #doai klaus #doai Jack #Don’t ask me why Jack Walker is an adult when in the timeline he should’ve been around Klaus’s age

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theidiotwhowritesthings · 2 years ago

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Fate is Definitely Drunk

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: fluff-ish, very meet cute if meet cute was more panicked and frozen in shock, cursing b/c I can’t write without cursing apparently

Word Count: 1,050

Summary: Everyone has the words their soulmate will first say to them written on their skin somewhere. You have the most average words in the known universe so you assume you’ll have a soulmate that matches that. Fate ain’t happy you underestimated her.

A/N: This is part of my marvel soulmate series. I did a whole thing. Sort of.

Soul marks were a funny thing. Mysterious. Unpredictable. Seemingly random. Science tried to understand it, but no matter how many studies they pushed out there never seemed to be a concrete answer. Some people referred to the marks as, ‘Scrawls of Fate’. That’s what it had to be, right? Fate pulling the strings, dragging people together, and creating happy endings or whatever.

You weren’t bitter.

And yes, that’s probably what bitter people said, but you were not bitter.

Not more than the average human at least.

You’ve seen dream couples meet because of the words on their skin. You had a friend in elementary school find her soulmate in the first grade. Yes, they got stuck with words said by their toddler selves, but they were stupid happy. You had just attended their wedding six months ago. It was sickeningly beautiful. Most of the couples you’ve seen get strung together were doing pretty well. Nothing special or crazy unique, but they were content.

That was the goal, right?

To be content.

Anything above that was just extra, and there was nothing wrong with extra, but if you walked around thinking the fates owed you extra then of course you’d be disappointed. That was your view of it at least. Even as a kid you never really got worked up over your words. They were simple, average, and you wouldn’t be surprised if a handful of other people in the world had the exact same mark as you coincidentally.

‘Terrible weather, huh?’

Your soul mark was literally the epitome of small talk. You’ve seen a lot worse though. A friend in high school had the words, ‘Fucking fish’ on their arm. You were still very curious as to how that would’ve come up in conversation. Maybe you needed to reach out to him later just to see if he had met his soulmate yet.

The sound of your name brought your eyes up from the table in surprise. The gaze of all the other brand-new interns were zoned in on you, and the only reason you remembered the initial ice-breaker question was because it had put you off on the tangent your brain got stuck on.

“Nope.” You shook your head quickly and offered the group a smile that you hoped was less awkward and more ‘happy to be here’, “No significant other at the moment.”

The group leader, your new boss, was a chirpy brunette named Janice who was living her best life right now. Her smile filled her entire face and she seemed to radiate sunshine. Which was cool for her, but you couldn’t imagine being that excited on a Monday morning unless you were on something.

“I was hoping Tim would be back by now.” Janice hummed, drumming her nails on the table, “I was gonna have him pick you guys up some coffee. Nothing like a caffeine boost before we move onto the program training.”

You raised a hand, “I’ll go grab us some coffee.”

“You will?” Janice beamed. “You’re a saint. Just tell the barista that I sent you.”

The group gave you their orders, that you jotted down into your phone, then you hurried out of the boardroom with a sigh of relief. It was nice to finally stretch your legs after being stuck in there for the last couple hours. Honestly, you were so thankful to have this job. You were just a low-level grunt working the mail room and answering phones, but you were a low-level grunt at Stark Industries. Everybody said that’d look fantastic on your resume and since you had no real future plans right now it seemed like a safe bet.

The coffee stand was on the first floor in the lobby and was packed. It took a good ten minutes just to get to the front of the line, but you weren’t in any kind of rush. You ordered the coffees then wandered off to the side to wait for them to be made. Your eyes drifted to the large lobby windows that were currently being pelted with rain. You loved storms. It was funny that rainy days brought you such comfort, but you always figured it tied into your soul mark. You were never actively hoping for anything, but maybe your subconscious just knew this would be the setting you’d find the one in.

The barista called out your name and you turned away from the view. You grabbed the drink carrier that had five cups balanced on it. Before going upstairs, you drifted a little closer to the front doors and paused for just another second to stare outside. The board room you were stuck in had no windows at all, and only this close to the door could you smell and hear the rain.

Someone stopped a couple steps to your left and you couldn’t help but look over at them as they undid the clasp holding their umbrella closed. It took two seconds for you to realize that the person standing beside you with their umbrella was Captain America. Your eyes widened in shock. He always looked so big and in charge on the news, and in person he was legitimately intimidating. Tall stature, broad shoulders, and God, he was good looking. As in, who the hell had the right to look so good so casually??

Captain America glanced at you, his blue eyes meeting your gaze, and though your brain screamed at you to look away and not stare like a frozen creeper, you couldn’t move a muscle. You just stood there looking like the idiot you felt like. He politely gave you a tiny nod and warm smile. Captain America motioned to the door, “Terrible weather, huh?”

You felt the words on your shoulder tingle and your jaw fell loose in disbelief. Captain America just gave you one more nod before walking to the door. He opened his umbrella and you lost sight of him out in the storm amongst all the other walking umbrellas.

Had he just…?

Had you just…?

The drink carrier slipped from your hands and five full cups of coffee hit the tiled floor causing a disaster at your feet. You couldn’t even register that people were looking at you or that the hot coffee had burned your through your pants’ leg or that you were now standing in a pool of caffeine.

You gasped, “Oh, fuck me.”

[next chapter]

#steve rogers #captain america #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x reader #marvel #reader insert #Female reader #captain america x reader #captain america x you #soulmate au

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the-roo-too · 2 years ago

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push & pull -> slytherin! lily jin morrow

-they say that slytherin as a whole is one of the most closed off houses. no matter that, one of the prefect seems to have her eyes on you.

warnings: wizards i guess; wounds; lily is low key mean at the beginning; i don’t remember my chemistry so just pretend everything makes sense

genre: grain of angst?; fluff

notes: something about harry potter au’s hits different, even though i dislike harry potter as a series; to clear up any questions, lily is a new prefect on her fifth year, reader is a year younger

（<｀▽´）―━━☆⌒*.

it’s hard to say what exactly fueled the rivalry between the houses. it was always tight there, with the house cup and all, but for a couple years now, everyone stuck to their colours. the quidditch matches were even more brutal now, as well as all the other tournaments.

about the houses’ dislike for each other you learned a day after being sorted into ravenclaw. during the morning assembly you mistakenly got some other girl’s mail, so as by normal human being, you went on to change with her. safe to say you’ve learned why kids aren’t allowed to play with fireworks. the nurse was weirdly calm when tending to your wounds though.

the prefect of your house during your first year, a girl named mina, told you that’s it’s normal here. that it’s been that way for long enough for people to get used to it. you just had to stick with the blue robes and you’d do just fine.

sadly, being a ravenclaw apparently meant you had to be bad at potions. the subject was taught by none other but a former slytherin- kim taeyeon. legend has it she was a student back when the houses weren’t so isolated from each other. maybe that was why she adored you, despite you being a ravenclaw. your house girl praised you for it, but you also scored a couple ‘harmless’ potions spilled on your head.

despite that, you loved potions the most. there was just something so cool about mixing a couple ingredients and creating a powerful mixture. maybe that was also why proffesor kim was so surprised when you failed a very simple potion just before mid-semester on your fourth year.

（<｀▽´）―━━☆⌒*.

two weeks until the winter break, the exams are getting started. you just aced transmutation at proffesor boa’s. nerd? no, just not stupid.

haha. even jinsol would agree that that was a bad joke. you’d probably even get a smack on the neck from her.

very confident after the exam, you happily walked into potions, greeting the teacher. your cauldrons were already prepared on the desks. there was something boiling in the containers, and next to them were a couple glass vials, filled with different materials and liquids.

the class quickly began and you opened your book on instructed page. you were to brew a simple antidote to common poisons- a three ingredient potion.

after seeing that the two other ones were mistletoe berries and unicorn horns, thus they needed grinding, you decided to reach for the powdered substance. according to the label, it should be powdered bezoar. the material had a blackish colour, whereas bezoar usually was a bit reddish. at the time it didn’t faze you, though it should.

while bezoar doesn’t have a black colour, powdered metallic magnesium sure does. and adding that to water is a very unsafe thing.

normally explosions aren’t that drastic, but maybe someone near you crashed their mixture too, creating more hydrogen and thus fuelling the burst.

you were lucky not to have your face directly above the cauldron. the most of the hit took your sleeves and the glass vial. it melted to some extent, while the material of your sleeves turned to dust.

“…you were boiling water. what happened.” professor taeyeon wasn’t even looking at you, she just started at the cauldron which should be completely safe. “never mind that, lily? take her to the nurse?”

lily as in lily morrow? the prefect of slytherin? taeyeon’s mean right hand? the exact person your prefect told you to look out for?

a taller figure appeared at your side. she gripped your shoulder and started dragging you away from the table. maybe the professor hadn’t realised her mistake, but you sure did. you could just watch jinsol mouth a ‘fighting’ to you as the older girl dragged you away.

（<｀▽´）―━━☆⌒*.

the nurse had to tend a boy that fell of his broom first. apparently he had some internal bleeding or whatever. you of course understood the situation, but a glaring prefect on your side wasn’t making it any easier.

“i’m sorry for dragging you into this, i don’t know what happened.”

“…it’s fine, l/n. i also find it quite weird. i thought you were better than that.” the last phrase felt as if she was doubting your abilities.

“i did what it said in the book. ‘stirring slowly clockwise, add powdered bezoar’. i just thought bezoar was red, not dark.”

“it is red. wasn’t the powder that colour?”

��no, it was darker.” lily hummed. she didn’t say a word more, surprisingly. as the head girl, you expected she’d be meaner to a student from a different house. while she wasn’t pleasant, she also didn’t make the wait unbearable.

“could any of you girls tell me what actually happened? it’s a miracle your hands didn’t turn into charcoal from what i see, the sleeves are all burned!” said the nurse when she finally came back.

“powdered metallic magnesium with boiling water, if i’m not mistaken.”

“what? taeyeon gave you metallic magnesium and told you to add it to water? are you joking!”

“no.” the prefect glanced at you. “i think someone sabotaged her vials.”

“ah, that explains it. i guess it happens even here.” the nurse shrugged before applying some soothing cream on your arms.

（<｀▽´）―━━☆⌒*.

“metallic magnesium? but it doesn’t react so hard with water i think?” you nodded lightly to a junior of your, kyujin. she, along with bae, were your closest friends. naturally, after the incident they were the first ones you went to.

“yeah, but it does depend on the temperature. kim had us boiling the water because bezoar doesn’t react in cold temperatures.” said jinsol. after your accident, she had to stay and finish her potion, although while worrying about you, she stirred the mixture in the wrong direction and it exploded.

they do say you are the only ravenclaw actually exceeding at potions. some, like your prefect, are good, but not great.

“i know how it happened, i just don’t know why. i though the professor was the one preparing the vials before the class?” you wondered out loud.

“what? i heard they changed it like a week ago? now apparently the students can do it, assigned from different houses.” a look of bewilderment appeared on your face at kyujin’s words.

“what?”

“you didn’t know? yoona told me this the other day at the assembly.” that’s right, the two of you missed the assembly with the new prefect, sullyoon. bae tangled herself on her bedding and you barely made it to the breakfast.

“so students get assigned to make the preparations?”

“sometimes, if the teacher allows it. i guess you can check who was on duty before your lesson? there’s a timetable in the main hall.” god bless for kyujin, whatever would you do without her.

you practically ran to the main hall. as the younger of your trio said, there was a list pinned with a schedule of classes and students assigned to prepare for them.

you didn’t recognise the names written beneath potions with professor kim, but you did recognise the dark green colour that accompanied them.

“seems you were tricked by slytherins.”

“seems so.”

（<｀▽´）―━━☆⌒*.

“morrow? to what do i own this pleasure?”

“hello professor. i was wondering, who exactly was assigned today for preparing potions?”

“son and her group, why? was there anything wrong?”

“they picked the wrong powder.”

“is it something i should look into?”

“no miss, i’ve got it covered.”

（<｀▽´）―━━☆⌒*.

you were sitting at the lunch table of your house. bae, who usually was there first, was running late.

“have you heard? morrow got into a fight with some fifth years!” you turned your head in the direction of the sound, seeing a panting jinsol approach you.

“really? isn’t she a prefect though? that would look bad on her mark.” you mumbled, scooting over so the other girl could have her spot next to you.

“i think she’s fine. there’s a rumour going around the prefects that she punished them for violating the school code.” sullyoon leaned over the table to speak to you. “she had a talk with the head girl, but i think it’s sorted out now.”

“what could someone do to get morrow so mad? i need to know so i don’t end up on the receiving end next time.” you laughed at bae’s joke, but truth be told, you were also curious. lily wasn’t normally violent physically, although there was a rumour she could crack anyone verbally.

“i think it’s about the powder incident. some fourth year had a accident- on your period actually?- and apparently the fifth years were responsible for the materials.” you glanced at jinsol. maybe the word about your incident got around the school, but fortunately it didn’t mention you as the victim.

“she beat them up for missing ingredients?”

“i mean, it is hard to mistake powdered metallic magnesium for bezoar, let’s be honest. i think it was a set up. by the way, what’s with the cape? you had a different one earlier, this looks like a newer one.”

“…about that-“

（<｀▽´）―━━☆⌒*.

amongst the unofficial rules, there is a very important one- do not meddle with the other houses. only one rule could be considered more important. do not try to get in other houses’ dormitories.

the eyes of the first year that opened the doors to you were open wide. he was clearly new, and very young at that, but he seemed aware of the ground rules. he’d slam the door in your face, had your hand not stopped him.

“please, is morrow here? i wanted to have a prefect to prefect word with her.” you could only hope he was new enough not to know every house’s prefects. and considering the fight the slytherin just had, your excuse should seem believable.

“…i’ll fetch her.” he mumbled, leaving the door opened just the slightest. you decided not to push your luck and just wait till he comes back with the older girl.

two shadows cast on the floor near the doors. lily moved slightly, so she could see just which of the prefects wanted to speak with her. a look of surprise flashed on her face when she saw you on the other side, but as quick as it appeared, it was gone.

“thank you, jay. you’re dismissed.” she said as she closed the doors behind her. then, her eyes caught yours. “let’s go somewhere quieter, prefect.”

she led you down a couple hallways, until you stopped recognising the part of the school. fear crawled in the back of your mind.

“this’ll do.” she finally said after the long walk. you were somewhere in the left wing of the school, if you had to guess.

she glanced at your worried expression and scoffed.

“what, you want to get spotted with me in public? the rest of my house would probably have your head.” she had a point.

“did you beat up the fifth years because they switched my bezoar for magnes?”

“wow, straight to the point, okay. why would you think that, l/n? what makes you so special?”

dumbfounded, you stared at her stone cold expression.

“…why would you fight them then?”

“you didn’t answer my question.”

“nor did you mine.”

“i did.” she smirked. “what about it?”

（<｀▽´）―━━☆⌒*.

talking with the slytherin prefect had many downsides, as it turned out. first of all, she wouldn’t leave you alone. despite the bewildered and judging gazes you received around the hall, lily would follow you any given chance.

second, this meant that basically every slytherin was against you now. especially a fan club of lily’s, group of delusional girls.

there were of course more, but lily morrow came with a couple good things too. she scared off all the others. slytherins although bothered you, they kept a safe distance when lily was nearby. other houses kept a distance, except ravenclaw of course.

sullyoon told you once that she was even friends with the slytherin’s prefect now.

the mentioned girl was unbearably flirtatious though. not knowing her earlier, you thought she’d just cold. on the contrary, once she warmed up to you you’d get a flirty remark every other day.

after a couple months of this push and pull you started wondering, would it be so bad to date lily morrow?

（<｀▽´）―━━☆⌒*.

taeyeon watched two of her students before potions. next to her stood a friend of hers, hyoyeon, the defence against the dark arts teacher.

“why are we staring at them again?” asked hyo.

“…i made them gay.”

the younger looked at her friend bewildered.

“kim taeyeon what the fuck.”

“they weren’t talking. i made them talk. i made them gay. can i make people gay?”

“are you sure you didn’t drink one of those weird potions?”

“can i make others gay? can i make you gay?”

“TAEYEON WHAT THE ACTUAL-“

（<｀▽´）―━━☆⌒*.

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val-badgal · 3 months ago

Text

I yap about Happy Chaos’ Arcade Mode

I played against some of the AI and most of his arcade mode to see some unique interactions, and I’m gonna ramble about them here.

For starters, I fucking hate stage 9 Nagoriyuki. I beat up to stage 8 in Happy Chaos’ arcade mode because I heard he drops some interesting lore bombs, and we’ll get to those in a sec, but JESUS FUCK is stage 9 hard. I beat stage Nago 8 by cheesing with pauses and throws, and it took about 20 attempts. Naturally, I lost all faith in living when I learned that stage 9 was the same thing except Nago started with blood rage (I quit after 5 attempts). How about that lore though, eh? Well, Happy Chaos basically goes on a whole exposition after beating I-No a second time that “Demi-humans” (Nago and Slayer) basically transcend their universe and can travel to ALTERNATE UNIVERSES and basically just dumb themselves down for everyone else to look like they’re not breaking reality. They don’t have “IDs” in the backyard, either, which is how they’re able to travel through universes since they’re basically not a part of the rest of existence. The existence of AUs in Guilty Gear is an interesting one, and I’m curious if it’s how they’re going to justify Lucy from Cyberpunk crossing over when she’s released. Maybe it’ll even play into the next game? I mean, at the end of Strive’s story mode, Sol loses his gear powers, Ky gives up the throne, and Axl gets his girlfriend back. The three main characters of Guilty Gear’s basically all finish their arcs, and it makes me wonder if they pull something in the next game where it’s like “this is Sol Badguy from another universe where he keeps his powers!” so they can still have the same main cast as the other games. It’d be kinda stupid if they did, and I think Daisuke probably wouldn’t do something so cliche and lazy for his main characters, but it’s an interesting possibility to discuss.

Happy Chaos mentions Bedman in the same exposition, saying that he also managed to negate having an “ID” in the backyard. He says “Bedman”, not “Romeo”, which is probably just to make things easier to understand for the majority of the audience who doesn’t know Xrd Bedman’s real name, but it still got me thinking about what it could be in reference to.

It could be Bedman’s dream world. Bedman says right before he dies that he could always make the Absolute World on his own, but my guess with this new information is that his access to both the Absolute World and Dream World are actually existing worlds, and him “creating” the Absolute World just brings him to an alternate universe that already existed with the properties that would let him revive the people he’s killed, save Delilah, etc.

Him negating the “ID” system could be why the character of ‘Bedman?’ exists. Somehow, when Bedman died, he didn’t actually die, but rather figured out a way to reincarnate in the bed itself due to his lack of an ‘ID’ that would allow him to cheat the system. Then again, I’m pretty sure Bed’s Strive theme is about him going to the afterlife, so this one is really just me being hopeful since Xrd Bedman is my favorite fighting game character.

After I gave up on Stage 9 Nago, I googled the ending cutscene to see what other lore there might be. There’s not a lot, but it’s kind of exciting what’s there. Happy Chaos basically tells Nago why he’s returning to the world, which is to protect it from destroying itself from its self-destructive nature. This almost implies that Chaos is willing to play the hero if needed for humanity’s survival, which is a possibility that’s also very in character with how Chaos acts.

I recently discovered that Sin and Chaos also have unique dialogue when fighting each other, and while one of the exchanges are a cute little interaction about sugar water and milpico, the other one frames Sin as the “hero” of the metaphorical show Chaos is always talking about, which would make sense since the upcoming anime is starring him and now that Sol and Ky both stepped down Sin being the next protagonist makes a lot of sense. Considering that there’s hints of both Sin and Chaos being protagonists in the next game and they already have unique interactions with each other, maybe we’ll see them working together in the future? I’m very excited for the future of Guilty Gear lore, lol.

Anyway. I’ll suppress my autism and shut up now, and maybe go draw Sin and Chaos hanging out drinking each other’s favorite beverages while I’m at it. Thanks for reading and I apologize if this makes no sense. I’m happy to clarify my theories in the comments <3

#guilty gear strive #guilty gear #sin kiske #happy chaos #bedman #bedman guilty gear #romeo f neumann #happy chaos guilty gear #guilty gear theory #yapping #ramble

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delaware-lemme-smash · 1 year ago

Note

Hi sweetie! Rewatching the series has stirred ideas. 😁 Pretty please, SFW NSFW headcanons for Aizawa with a quirkless fem s/o. Although she has no quirk, she does have an amazing human talent. For example, maybe she composes amazing music, or she paints incredible paintings, maybe she has an incredible voice and sings, maybe she writes award-winning books. Whatever you choose for her talent, it’s something that she’s dedicated years of hard work (since childhood) to being the best, building a career, and she’s famous for her talent. Thank you! Sending lots of love & hugs! ❤️🤗

Hello, lovely! I still need to catch up on the new series, but my Aizawa simpery has been rumbling in the back of my head for a while now. I feel like this man is about to make a comeback in a big way.

Characters: Aizawa Shouta/Eraserhead

Contents: afab!reader, quirkless reader, mentions of quirkless discrimination, nsfw

Aizawa Shouta/Eraserhead

SFW

Of all the people least likely to judge someone for not having a Quirk, Aizawa Shouta is your man. Others, even with the best intentions, might have some lingering sense of pity that you don't have a special ability like the rest of the population. Or they might just not be able to deal with stupid comments other people make about their Quirkless partner.

Aizawa doesn't give a shit about you not having a Quirk or about what other people think. He doesn't consider his Quirk-having ass as superior to you in any way—the only advantage his Quirk gives him is to remove other people's, so he's not all that different from you, really.

Now, this talent of yours. The one you've been working on since childhood, the one you've poured hours of sweat, blood, and tears into and now have a thriving career in? That commands enormous respect from Shouta. He appreciates hard work in any form, but to gain such achievement in a skill you weren't born with, that you had to learn and grind and improve slowly, over time? Hell yeah.

That work ethic of yours is probably what drew him to you in the first place. People mischaracterise him as lazy, when he's just exhausted most of the time. When you consider his actual skills—hand-to-hand combat, his capture weapon fighting style, teaching, finding the perfect nap spot—you realise he's got a similar mind set, because none of those skills were part of his Quirk. He can only be a Pro Hero because of the amount of time and dedication he's taken to complement his Quirk and make sure he survives.

You have his full support in your career. Due to his schedule, he might not always be able to attend any associated events, but you knew that when getting into a relationship with a Pro Hero/teacher. He'll be there for you at the critical junctures, and he fully appreciates and supports whatever you create. He'll read your books, listen to your music, etc. It's something you've created and he's all about it.

People call him dour, but we've seen plenty of times where he isn't afraid to give praise that's deserved. You can always rely on him to give constructive criticism and praise what he likes about a certain thing. And he'll straight up admit when he doesn't know enough to give advice. It might not be the effusive, gushing praise you get from your fans, but if you're with Shouta, then you appreciate it nonetheless.

NSFW

Aizawa likes watching people do things they're good at, and this naturally extends to you. Whether that be you at your book signing, at a concert, or an art gallery hosting your latest exhibition, something about seeing you in your element makes him...excited.

You'll be at your event, performing on stage or mingling with your fans, and you'll look up and meet a pair of dark eyes across the room. Shouta, lingering on the edges as always, but watching you with eyes as warm as coals and this smirking smile half-tucked into his scarf. And you just know.

He waits patiently until the event is over, possibly even until the taxi home. But as soon as he has you somewhere semi-private, Shouta's hands are sliding around your waist and he's gonna be leaving stubbly kisses on your neck, muttering about how he doesn't know how you put up with all those people. How he's barely seen you this evening.

"You liar, you were watching me the whole time."

He gives a husky laugh. "True."

The cats are gonna be shooed out of the bedroom, because Shouta needs some private time to show you just how much he appreciates your talents.

#delaware-lemme-smash #aizawa shouta #eraserhead #aizawa x reader #bnha headcanons #bnha imagines #Mod Rig

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finn-m-corvex · 1 year ago

Text

Someone You Loved

Needed a brain break from Whumptober so I wrote this in an hour instead. Haven't listened to Lewis Capaldi for a long time but this song popped up in my playlist and it gave me Jaya vibes so here we are. Kinda similar to Sounding Sea but also not, mostly because I never thought I would write a songfic in my life, but hey, plans change. Literally almost just had a panic attack as I was cleaning this up because I thought I deleted it but nope we're all good. Enjoy everybody!

Words: 2k

TWs: depression, mentions of anxiety, basically all the same stuff as Sounding Sea.

I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to save me This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy

Oh, he was crazy alright. But maybe it was just the hunger talking.

He had never really been one for doing things halfway. Something either got all of his effort or none of his concern and there was very little in-between. Now, he was wishing that he had more gears than forward and reverse; was that why humans created cars with multiple modes? To make up for the fact that they couldn't ever take the stick and pull it back to spare their feelings? Was it all just some sick scheme of taking back control?

No, that was stupid. He let his head thunk against the stone wall behind him, ignoring the bruises littering his skin and the blood welling from the cuts and scratches inflicted across his body. Jay had plenty of stupid ideas already, what was one more?

I need somebody to heal Somebody to know Somebody to have Somebody to hold

And of course, like a goddamn fool he had fumbled it. Fucked it up most likely beyond repair, just because he didn't come with a gearshift to dial his love back. She had known better than any of the others, always picked up on his mood shifts and his anxiety and his everything before he even knew what was going on; sometimes she was even faster than Cole. Before then Jay had never met someone with that ability, because most people would turn a blind eye to him at best and try to hurt him at worst. Kinda like what was happening right now, actually.

She wasn't like most people.

First Master, how stupid was he?

It's easy to say But it's never the same I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain

He did. Fuck, he missed her so much. He missed the way she made him feel like he was on top of the world, like he could do anything and be anyone. Anxiety couldn't touch him, his insecurities powerless against the encouraging words she would feed him whenever he started to doubt himself. What was he now?

Stuck in a shitty pirate ship with no friends and no way of calling for help after possibly fucking all of them over for what might be the last time.

Well, at least he wouldn't be able to damn them anymore, right?

The ball and chain was heavy on his ankle, and he had to drag it up by hand so he could tuck his knees against his chest, looking up at the bright sky through the grate. His hands were blistered from how much he had been mopping the deck, but it was still much more preferable to Scrap n' Tap.

He tried to imagine how it would sound for her to say 'I love you.'

Now the day bleeds Into nightfall And you're not here To get me through it all I let my guard down And then you pulled the rug I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

Jay was still trying to imagine it when night finally fell, a dark blanket smothering out his one light source and casting the rest of his cell into darkness. He couldn't say that he ever had a problem with the dark before now, but the shadows were stretching just a little too much, the corners just a little too obscured and his vision was too fuzzy as it was adjusting to the new level of light. He supposed one of his eyes being basically out of commission wasn't helping.

Tears tried to leave his eyes but he blinked them back, determined not to cry. Nya wasn't here, and Cole wasn't here, and crying wasn't going to change that. He could do this, he could get through it.

Being left to his own devices left too much time for him to start going down memory lane, and he was thrust into the memory of the day when his world shattered apart, the shards gouging holes in his heart to leave gaping wounds that he didn't know how they would heal at the time. His head had been hurting like he had smashed it into the wooden floor of the Bounty, winded as if he just recovered from a bad fall.

He wanted it back. Why couldn't he just have it back?

I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to turn to This all or nothing way of loving got me sleeping without you

He loved her too much to try and push her away again, and yet here he was, keeping her at arms-length when all she wanted to do was get closer and try to help.

Younger him would've rejoiced, reveled in the knowledge that Nya wanted him out of all people, but Jay knew better now. Knew how easy it was to get swept up in the current, to lose yourself in the tide that never quite receded.

To drown in it, because eventually you would forget that you had to keep swimming.

Sleeping was something that didn't come easily to him anyway, but now it was impossible to find. Apparently he had pissed off Mr. Sandman too, as he would spend night after night springing awake from some bad dream or another, only to find some sort of project in this damn lighthouse to keep him occupied. He needed distractions; distractions from how he had left Kai behind, how he didn't protect Zane, how he had damned Cole and Lloyd and Wu and Misako and everyone else in fucking Ninjago-

But mostly? He couldn't stop thinking about he had damned her too.

Now, I need somebody to know Somebody to heal Somebody to have Just to know how it feels It's easy to say but it's never the same I guess I kinda liked the way you helped me escape

She was right there. Nya was right there and he failed her, again.

Jay shivered in his chair, looking around his parents' trailer to try and find any trace of her. The only thing he could find was a framed photo that he had given his parents forever ago, from before their messy breakup and the fights and the Djinn. From when they were still happy. Sure, they were both smiling, Jay's arm wrapped around her shoulders and her arm around his waist, but...

Were they ever really happy? Or was Jay just too scared to admit that something wasn't right?

He clutched the photograph in his hands, watching as the wooden frame started to crack under the pressure. Maybe it was just because he grew up poor, but the cost of his escape had been too steep; it should've never been her.

It never should have been her.

But it was, and there was nothing he could about it now. The best he could do was hope and pray that his plan to rescue her wouldn't fall through, because he was running out of prayers.

It worked, and the price for that had been steep too. Would the heavy costs and the sacrifices ever end?

Years passed, and against his better judgement Jay thought that maybe it would.

Now the day bleeds Into nightfall

Was it night? He couldn't tell anymore. Slipping in and out of sleep was confusing, to say the least, and he had no idea how long he had spent laying down on this uncomfortable couch before someone would be lulling him back to sleep. Mr. Sandman must be taking pity on him.

And you're not here To get me through it all

But Nya was here; he could hear her voice, whispering to him in soft tones with gentle words, kissing his cheek and then his lips and playing with his hair and trying everything she knew to try and get him back to sleep.

Was he going crazy? Again?

First Master, it really was just like the ship all over again. He didn't remember the voices being able to touch him, though. That part was new. Oh well.

Gotta enjoy a nice dream while it lasts, right?

Why did someone start sobbing when he said that out loud?

I let my guard down And then you pulled the rug I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

Jay loved that she loved him, cared for him, trusted him, and he trusted her with his life and his soul. Knowing that she was there at his side always helped him get through the days; he was sure that he wouldn't still be here if something had ever happened to her. They were two halves of the same piece; maybe they didn't quite fit together all the way, but there was nothing they wouldn't do to make it work, that Jay wouldn't do to make it work.

So really, she had to stop doing stupid self-sacrificing shit. But he guessed that he wasn't really one to talk.

But becoming the sea?

And I tend to close my eyes when it hurts sometimes I fall into your arms I'll be safe in your sound 'til I come back around

She was never coming back around. Jay stood outside of the lighthouse, looking out across the ocean and watching as the tides flowed in and out, taking in the rocks just off-shore and the small rip-currents jaggedly cutting through the calm surface of the water.

Jay turned around, feeling the breeze start to blow his jacket into his back. Shutting his eyes, he let his element buzz around him, crackling and fizzing and popping The darkness was something familiar; he knew what to expect when he shut his eyes for too long, and he needed the familiarity no matter how traumatic the origins were. Without hesitating he let himself fall backwards into the surf, the cold water making him freeze up instantly as it washed over his face and into his nose.

He suppressed the natural urge to fight and get his face out of the water.

What was the point when she wouldn't be there to tell him how stupid he was being? To say that he should've worn a thicker jacket, to dry his clothes, to snuggle with him in the bed until he could finally feel his fingers and play with her hair?

For now the day bleeds Into nightfall And you're not here To get me through it all I let my guard down And then you pulled the rug I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

Jay wrote the same words over and over at least once a night. He didn't know why he was fixating so hard on them but he couldn't stop, and even now as his hands were trembling and his hair was dripping seawater onto the pages he was writing the same seven lines again. There was no one there to kiss his cheek and offer him tea and to laugh at how his hair looked like he had been dunked in a mop bucket.

He should've just stayed in the goddamn ocean.

But now the day bleeds Into nightfall And you're not here To get me through it all I let my guard down And then you pulled the rug I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

For some reason, Jay cut out the first two lines eventually. After a while, it just got a little redundant to keep saying that the day would go away and be replaced by the night; at least, that was his best guess for why one day he started writing three lines instead of seven. He read them over and over, again and again, feeling the bitterness and the anger and the sadness consume him from the inside out, and Jay knew that Nya would not recognize the man standing on the beach if she ever decided to walk back onto land one day.

But she never would, and Jay would never get used to the loss that spread through his chest like a disease, a cancer that there was no way to treat.

I let my guard down And then you pulled the rug I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

#finn's writing #ninjago #ninjago jay #ninjago fanfiction #ninjago songfic #jaya #ninjago jaya #shockwave #shockwaveshipping #anyways. should probably get back to work on whumptober tomorrow #but just wanted to write a little something something for you guys!

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