#and maybe someone will answer?

[puppy-phum]

how last twilight went in my head

It’s soon been a year since Last Twilight started airing and while it did some things right, it also did many things wrong. I’m not only talking about the ending and how it ruined the whole show for me, but also smaller things that I now see more as flaws. Or maybe not flaws per se; they’re rather things that could’ve been done better if some more thought was put into the story as a whole. (Which is ironic to say when I know how many hours they already spent writing the story.) 

You see, I had a lot of expectations for this series. Many of us had, I guess, and it sucks that those expectations were not met. I also acknowledge that I’m partly at fault for my own disappointment; I’m obviously only one person and no person responsible for the series would be able to read my mind and make it 100% like I wanted it to be. But they gave me the pilot trailer, left me with it for over a year before the official trailer came out, and during that time I was holding that pilot like a precious trinket in my hands. I was turning it around and around under the light, watching and studying every glimmer and reflection with wonder. I thought I knew what they were trying to tell me. I thought I understood. 

Then the series came out and it strayed far from what I’d imagined it would be. Once again, not completely their fault, and I was watching the show with an open mind – I wanted to like it, however it was. But the closer to the end we got, the more I noticed that I was starting to bend my mind backwards to explain some things for myself. I started making excuses for them. And then at some point, I realized I didn’t have to do that. They shouldn’t require me to do that just to have me like what they'd created. 

So I eventually accepted that Last Twilight just wasn’t for me and that I was disappointed in it. Not only did the ending land far from where I wanted it to go, but so did other things. The flaws started bothering me more. I grew a little more bitter after each day spent thinking about this show. It had become something unrecognizable, and so I had to make it right. I had to paint the picture that will never be forgotten again.

These are my thoughts on what I thought the show would be like, how the characters would be, how the relationships would develop, and where the show would end. All of this is based on the pilot trailer and many details remain vague because of that; some thing I only came up with while writing all this. I don't have a full story in my head, only bits and pieces I thought would be part of it one day.

(Most of this rant is directed towards the lovely Monica @stormyoceans and Mimi @dimpledpran, as well as maybe Leo @idaokiwatine. Otherwise, I don’t know if anyone is interested in this, but this has been stuck in my head for too long and I needed to find some relief.) 

(placing the rest of this under the cut bc it got super long)

Mork’s life – past and present

The pilot trailer introduces Mork (not Mhok btw, I refuse to change my mind about that) and his side of the story very briefly. That is expected from a 4 minutes long pilot trailer that’s main point is to rouse the viewers’ curiosity and only introduce the story as it was during the time of filming that pilot. Despite the briefness, we still get the essentials: Mork is harsh spoken, a bit crude, playful, aloof, and quite melancholic at times. We learn he works as a mechanic, is friends with Porjai (not named yet in the pilot), and most importantly, has a debt he has to pay off. 

They left that debt out once the show came out, and its absence made me frown. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against the change. I like the alternative story line with Rung and how her passing has left Mork deeply scarred. I love the symbolism of Rung’s car which Mork is unable to sell because as much as he is bitter about his sister’s decision to end her life, he cannot cut her and her memory out of his own life. It’s a good premise, yet the show doesn’t really explore it enough to make it stick, so I both love it and mourn it.  

Anyway, when the pilot trailer introduced the debt plot to us, I got attached to that thought. That’s probably the most accurate way to put it, to talk about any of these thoughts I will introduce here. I am attached to my own delusions of this show. So let’s continue observing them:

Mentioning Mork's debt made me assume that it was a core element of Mork’s character and his motives in the story. It would be the starting point of his journey, and I was excitedly waiting for them to tell me more in the series. What kind of debt is it? How large? Where does it originate from? Who does Mork owe money to? How does that debt affect his life? How long has that debt affected his life?

And while I was waiting for the answers, I started coming up with answers of my own:

Mork is left with his family’s debt, not his own. He's an only child who carries his parents’ debt after their unfortunate passing (accidental or organized? Irrelevant for me during that time). That debt will stand in front of Mork’s future, holding him back. It’s like a weight he cannot get rid of even if he tries, its pressure stopping him from running forward. If I have to make comparisons, I thought Mork’s story would be a bit like Jack’s in Jack & Joker; he cannot start a new life before he’s settled his debt. 

These thoughts were backed by Porjai who in the pilot tells Mork to pay off his debt; to think about his future again. Ths switch seemed important somehow. Porjai doesn’t want Mork to continue living like this, always owing money to someone and struggling to survive. Things need to change for him. He needs to find something else than work, avoiding his debtors, paying off his debt, fearing for himself, and not caring about his future. There needs to be another path he can take, a better road for him to walk upon.

And then, Mork meets Day. 

How would that happen? I don’t have a clear answer to this but based on what was shown and said in the pilot trailer, I somehow assumed it would happen through Porjai (which it still kind of does, but it’s more accidental in the series). The pilot trailer introduces Porjai as the person who comes up with new things for Mork to do, jobs that would pay better. This made me assume that following her ideas would eventually lead Mork to Day.

As a side note, I find it really interesting what Porjai's ideas for a better job are. When talking about quick, easy money, her offer is “dining with rich clients”. Not something you’d expect her to offer to a mechanic like Mork, right? It's nothing like what she offers to Mork in the series now. Getting Mork a random gig as an AC repairman makes a little more sense than this, though this offer also makes Porjai a completely different character. 

The offer really left me thinking, okay. Mork doesn't accept it, of course, and I understand why it’s not something Mork would do based on how we see him, but why does Porjai suggest something like it? What exactly is Porjai thinking Mork should work wth? What does “dining with rich clients” actually mean? Because for me, that sounds hell a lot like she is suggesting Mork become an escort/host (at a host club???), and so that was a thought I started linking to her. 

Porjai is the one talking to rich clients every day. She works as an escort/hostess somewhere and they pay good money for it. She knows it’s an easy job once you get into it and Mork could pay off his debt that way, maybe, if he was able to take the pressure. But he wouldn't, and so they find something else.   

But what exactly leads Mork to ring the doorbell at Day’s house? I don’t think Porjai would have a straight connection to Day, but she could know Night.  

In the series we now know, they introduce Night as a bar owner. Maybe Porjai ends up visiting Night’s bar a lot because her clients like to go there? Maybe she knows this bar owner/bartender and sometimes they talk after she’s done with her clients. She and Night are casually acquainted, not too close but on good terms, comfortable. 

And then, during one of these casual talks, Night lets it slip that his brother is going blind and looking for a caretaker. (Maybe he whines about how difficult Day is being about it. Porjai is a good listener, and it’s easy to talk to her, I guess. It must be rough for Night, trying to handle it all.) 

Porjai answers that she knows just the man for the job. Night decides to give it a shot. 

Cue Mork’s interview for a job he’s in no way qualified for, yet he goes anyway because like the pilot says, “he has no option”. It doesn’t sound too hard, taking care of someone. But things are made a bit more difficult by Day, and so the interview scene ensues as it does: Mork reads to Day again, and despite acting like an ass in front of this rich brat that could be his future boss, Mork gets the job. Suddenly, his life is turning around. He’s on his way to paying off his debt and becoming free. 

Mork needs to start thinking about his future. It’s scary because he never had the chance for that before, never got the choice. His parents were gone and he was tied to his debt before he had the opportunity to really dream. So, what does he want to do? Where does he want to go? 

Will he stay around or will he leave all of this behind?

Of course, I assumed that Mork’s plan would be to get enough money to pay off his debt and then quit his job as a caretaker, no strings attached. But Day turns out to be different. Day turns out to be someone who Mork wouldn’t mind staying for.  Day is more than just the money Mork gets paid, and he needs to come into terms with that, with wanting something for himself.    

Day's side: His family and Mork

It will probably sound funny when I say this but back when the pilot trailer was all I had, I never really gave much thought to why Day is going blind. I know they mention an accident happening, but I thought it was just that – an accident. Something in the past. Something irreversible. Something that cannot be taken back or “fixed”, and now Day just needs to learn how to live with his new reality and move on. (No cornea transplants... I never really saw this coming when the show started. Imagine my shock when they started talking about it.)

What surprised me about the show was also the time that has passed since Day’s accident and since his vision started getting worse, and before he and Mork meet. The pilot left me thinking that Day’s vision was like that ever since the accident; that it was down to 40% (20% in the series) until they later realize that it’s getting even worse. I thought Day was still fumbling to understand his condition, to figure out how to live like this. I thought he had only recovered and spent a short time visually impaired before Mork comes into the picture, and that all these things were as new to him as Mork who has never done this kind of job before. I thought that was going to be part of their dynamic; this sense of newness and slowly learning about things together. About solving problems, finding answers, and adapting.

But well, details. Let’s move on from that.   

Day is mostly introduced to us through Mork’s eyes as he infiltrates Day’s world after accepting his job. We first see the insufferable rich brat, the guy who has it all but now has somewhat less. The guy who is still grieving what he lost with his vision, yet is fiercely trying to claim it all back. He fights for his right for independence by being a stubborn mule who refuses to accept any help. He’s obnoxious, and whiny, and demanding, and a bit snobbish. He is both determined to beat his disability and so close to crumbling under the weight of his own changed reality. 

Mork challenges Day in all the ways Day needs in this moment. At least this aspect of their dynamic remains in the series too, this ability Mork has to keep Day from slipping further into despair. Mork is not afraid to act like a dick to Day who is more than delighted by his boldness. He doesn’t like people treating him like glass, so Mork’s harshness and playfulness is refreshing. It reminds Day of how things used to be; of how he used to be. He even starts accepting Mork’s help after Mork drills it into Day’s skull that it doesn’t make him any weaker. They build their relationship upon mutual understanding, but I'll return to all that a bit later.  

Let’s focus on Night instead and how he fits into all of this. After the pilot trailer, I never imagined that Night would somehow be the reason for Day’s accident – I never even thought he would play such a huge part in Day’s story, though I did think he would play a part in it. 

My first thought about Night was that he was going to act as their mother’s eyes and ears in the house. (I didn’t know what to expect from Night’s character back then, so I just thought there would be a reason for him to stay in the house all day.) He inserts himself into every MorkDay interaction, is present, watches, and studies them. Then he relays what he’s seen to their mother, letting her evaluate Mork’s fitness for the job and how his progress is. I thought this would be a more prevalent aspect of everything, this ever present sense of being watched and judged by an outsider.

This position would've also allowed Night to be the first one to notice when MorkDay’s relationship starts changing. It's difficult for them at first, and maybe Night decides to help Mork out a little. He cares for his brother, after all. He tells Mork privately why Day chose him as his caretaker. He sees something in Mork and decides to help him out. He takes upon the role we see Master Aon carrying in the series now, working as the bridge between Mork’s world of ignorance and Day’s world of newly found obstacles. 

The closeness this springs between the two obviously isn’t part of their mother’s plan. Khun Mhon/Ramon wants Mork to be a caretaker, a professional Day could rely on. She pays Mork for that. The pilot version of feels very different from the her we see in the series, yet she is equally protective of her son.  

This protectiveness causes her to be a meddler, and we witness her questioning what kind of relationship Mork is building with Day once it starts feeling like it's different from what she expected. She’s heard about it from Night (who already questions Mork’s feelings, asking him if he still cares for Day only out of pity) and that makes her doubt Mork. Already attached by this point, Mork is forced to lie and reassure her that he still knows “the boundaries of his responsibility”. 

Because we as viewers are privy to Mork's inner feelings, we can recognize his lie, but Day cannot. Even Day’s “superpower” doesn’t help him at this point, and he is convinced that Mork sticks around for the money only. He hates the thought, hates to think Mork is somehow forced to care for him. That Mork cannot choose for himself because he's the victim of the circumstance. And Day feels pained, feels crushed. He cried to his mother, attached to his caretaker who has somehow become a friend. He does not want this man to leave, and on some level, maybe Day's mother understands. Maybe she is able to accept that her son needs Mork, and Mork is allowed to stay until he's completed his duty.

Day's mother never quite trusts Mork, though. She knows Mork isn't being quite honest about knowing his responsibility with Day, so she worries what might become of them. I think it gets more complicated if Mork’s debt interferes and places Day in danger. Mork cannot stay if his past is haunting him; he cannot stay if his presence is threatening Day's safety. Mork probably struggles with this aspect of his life too, and eventually Day is left with the choice to either accept or tell Mork to leave (and it wouldn't be a romance if we didn't already know his answer).   

I think the question of safety and Mork's ability to do his job well and remain professional would explain Day's mother's apprehension towards him better than how they explain it in the series. I somehow do not feel for her in the show because her worry over Mork’s ability to “take care of Day” (outside of his job, as Day's partner) seems so belittling towards Day as a person. She assumes that Day needs someone to take care of him for the rest of his life as if he will never be independent again. Day never tells her otherwise which I find a little strange when Day otherwise remains so adamant about doing things on his own and mastering skills that allow him independence.

(Though now that I say that, I realize that in the show, they cut off him gaining any of these skills. They don't, for example, ever make Day use a cane or learn braille – skills that I assume would be essential for his independence. He relies on Mork a lot, and even after the time skip in the last episode, he rather asks for a "stranger" to guide him to the car than takes it upon himself to get there the way we all know he can.)

In the middle of all this, come the 180 days they give Day before he loses his vision completely. It changes everything. Of course, those 180 days are not the end for Day – he's not dying or anything. They just mean there’s more for him to do, more for him to process. He needs to reach acceptance and finally find peace with his blindness. 

And all that he does with Mork, with his help and alongside him, which I will talk about next. 

Mork and Day, quietly in love

I think what the show really nails is the development of the MorkDay relationship or at least the basics of it. Especially the first three or so episodes feel absolutely ecstatic as we witness how the mutual distaste between MorkDay turns to curiosity, turns to understanding, turns to hesitant trust, and then to friendship and eventually a crush. It’s all so beautiful – and yet. 

It moves a little too fast, I’d say. That feeling I had ever since episode 2 should’ve probably been my first warning sign that I was not about to get the story I wanted, but I always worked with it. I understood they had only 12 episodes, that they had a lot of story to cover. Some sacrifices had to be made to get all they planned to fit in. 

But. (Because there obviously is a but coming, a big but.) They never used that time they stole wisely. And in my mind, I wanted everything to happen slower, to feel lazier, stickier somehow. You know, I wanted there to be more struggling, more hardship, more setbacks. Things shouldn’t have felt so linear between Mork and Day; not only up after some small bumps in the beginning, without them sometimes moving backwards, too. They were supposed to take two steps forward and one step back, not just walk ahead like it was easy to trust a stranger like that.

(That back and forth could’ve also been the way to fit Mork’s trauma into the story; to force Mork to be vulnerable when he realizes that he has to give something in order to get something back. He learns a thing about Day, Day learns a thing about him. It's only fair.) 

It would just make sense if things were not easy. They’ve both gone through a lot and it’s hard to open up about those things, especially to someone who is still basically a stranger. That made me think that it would take Mork and Day longer to even tolerate each other; Day does not want Mork to be his caretaker, doesn’t want him invading his space. Mork is there for the money, not to listen to Day’s bitching. They’d rather avoid each other than actually spend time together, both agreeing to this out of mutual benefit. Mork gets paid, and Day gets his mother off his back and is free to do how he sees fit. They’re stuck together but it's the lesser evil. 

But that doesn't last forever, and eventually, their curiosity wins. Mork would probably give in first, would want to know more about Day after watching him. He’s the one with the ability to work his way under Day’s skin by annoying Day to opening up. Anger makes us quite honest at times. And when Day slams the doors shut at times, literally and figuratively, Mork remains unphased by the temper tantrums. We see parts of this in the series too, but I always thought it would take them longer to find it themselves to be civil with each other.  

After the door is open though, things start pouring out of it. Vulnerability stops feeling as scary. We see the one palm distance scene happen which is still one of my favorites. It’s so beautiful in the pilot, the epitome of closing the gap between them, of stepping closer. Mork wants Day to see him, and Day's curiosity is aroused.

I was honestly kind of sad that the series gave that scene to us so early. I wasn’t expecting Day to let Mork so close so soon, though I should’ve seen it coming when they turned the flirting setting so high for Mork. I just thought that scene was going to be more than just Mork flirting with Day, about him showing interest. I thought it was about understanding, about wanting to know the other. About wanting yourself to be known.    

I guess my version of Mork by nature is more hesitant to approach Day than he is in the series. He is still direct and unapologetic, won’t take any shit, won’t fear to annoy Day, yet he will be hesitant in other ways. He doesn’t like being vulnerable, doesn’t initially like being seen by Day, doesn't trust so easily. It takes him time to adjust into wanting all this and thinking about it as a good thing.

He also hesitates to touch, to grab, to hold; to get physical with someone who cannot see it coming. Mork might not know a kind touch, mostly used to the roughness and violence of others.

Day would be equally hesitant because it must feel strange to touch people so openly when you cannot se them, right? At least for me, I’d find it weird and uncomfortable to grab a stranger, to suddenly hold them, even if by the arm or shoulder. (Because how do you know it’s an arm or a shoulder you're touching when you cannot see? You cannot be sure. It could be anything.) This requires adjusting from them, accepting this physicality as part of their new relationship. Mork needs to allow himself to be grabbed. Day needs to be bold enough to do it and be comfortable with it.

They discuss boundaries, both for Day and for Mork. What are they comfortable with? Are they comfortable always or only sometimes? Are there times when they do not wish to be touched? Should they announce it when they plan on touching the other? What are the rules of their interactions?

They learn yet again, try to understand. These are the steps they take during their journey as they adjust to each other and their intertwining lives. They start lowering their walls and breaking the boundaries, allowing each other closer, closer, closer.

And suddenly, Mork is no longer just a caretaker. Suddenly, Day is not just someone Mork stays with out of money. More feelings appear, and once one of them – or both of them – recognize those feelings as romantic, things start going south.   

I always assumed that August would play the biggest part in making both Mork and Day admit to their feelings (and he does! The series confirms this). He’s obviously introduced as the “love rival”, the one who makes Mork jealous. He will make Mork understand that these feelings he’s having for Day go beyond professional, beyond friendship. He wants to take care of Day in a completely different way, and that makes him come face to face with a choice: to tell Day or remain silent. To stay or to leave. 

Because here’s the deal: Mork is Day’s employee which requires him to stay professional with Day. There is supposed to be a certain distance between them so that Day can trust Mork as his caretaker, as his aid, as his guide. Mork is supposed to not cross any lines for Day’s safety and comfort. Mork is not supposed to be having these thoughts and feelings about Day.

In the series, I assumed they would point this out; that they would bring out the moral question of are you allowed to look at your "boss" like that, with the eyes of a potential lover, when your professional relationship is as delicate and emotionally intimate as a relationship between a caretaker and the person they’re caring for? Are you allowed to cross that line, even on a thought’s level? Does that affect the trust between you two?

In retrospect, I find it a little weird how little Last Twilight brings up this issue. Back in the day I even saw someone mention it in a post (I cannot remember who or where) after pointing out how often and easily these positions of trust allow taking advantage of the other person. Not saying that Day wouldn’t be able to fight for himself or stand his own ground if Mork was, indeed, being a creep about it, but Day unfortunately cannot see it happening. If Mork had bad intentions, I think he would have many chances to take advantage of Day’s disability. Day’s in a vulnerable position that has nothing to do with his capability. 

So, why not make the viewers think about it more? Why is Mork not realizing how much power he holds? Even after he becomes aware of his feelings in the series and starts thinking Day might feel the same, it’s Porjai who points out that they’re still employer and employee. Mork works for Day, and Day is supposed to be able to trust in his professionalism no matter what. 

Of course, Mork is prepared to quit his job after their kiss in the series if Day doesn’t feel the same for him. He doesn’t want to make Day uncomfortable once he’s been made aware of Mork’s feelings. But my initial expectations based on the pilot were that this conflict of positions would play a bigger part. Night questions Mork's feelings first, Day's mother does it next. Mork decides to hide behind his lies. This made me think that we would succumb into a limbo of “will he or will he not?” as both Mork and Day struggle with handling their own (slightly forbidden) feelings. 

It's just that they both wish to stay like this and they both fear that the other one will leave if they were to be honest about their feelings. It feels easier to put on the mask and pretend they’re still an employer and employee. Out of selfish reasons, they both need each other. On the other hand, they both see why the other would need this relationship to remain as it is.

If we assume that we embark on the 180 days journey with MorkDay once they're already aware of their feelings and are both remaining mum about it, I think their reasons to remain go like this:

Mork stays because he doesn't want to abandon Day now that he is facing all this so suddenly. It's a big shock to Day to realize that he will lose his sight completely, and he's formed this bond with Mork that Mork hates to rip away from him when he's already feeling vulnerable. It's Mork's priority to make Day feel safe and comfortable. It's Mork's wish to make Day happy, and so he wants to stand beside Day as he faces these last 180 however many days he might have. Mork helps Day to make the most of that time he has because what else is there for Mork to do? To return to his old job and struggle again? To be forever trapped in his debt? Because at least like this he is paying off his debt slowly and not feeling as trapped.

For Day, he might hate the thought that Mork stays because of his duty, but it's also that it helps Mork. The money he's getting obviously means a lot, is more than Mork ever thought he would have. Day has seen and heard about Mork's life before, how violent it all was/is, how much he struggles. He wants Mork to stay if it will help him. He wants Mork to stay because it helps Day. He likes being with Mork and Mork makes him happy, and all this change feels a little less scary. He thinks he's learning how to live again, with Mork.

This type of setting would’ve offered a delicious opportunity to explore the slowly blurring line between their professional relationship and what can be seen as something else, something more. It would’ve offered some very delicious gay yearning, and I think these moments could’ve been depicted through scenes like the fish tank scene or the fitting room scene. Of course, those scenes work as they are now, as indicators of budding feelings between Mork and Day. But those could’ve also been scenes that show their feelings to the viewer, make them obvious to any observer, yet remain hidden from the object of those feelings himself. The want to touch, to be closer; yet the fear to be too close, to get rejected, and eventually, to lose everything. 

They have six months, dedicated only to each other. They have six months before some kind of end or a beginning or whatever they wish to think of it as. Six months. I would've loved the slow burn of it all, seeing those six months shape and morph and change them.

The ending

And what about when those six months come to an end? How would things look like to them? How would the whole story eventually end?

Honestly, I think the story in my head had a lot of similarities to what we get in the first 9 episodes of Last Twilight: Mork and Day meet, start developing a bond, find happiness and a new hope in each other, Day gets his final 180 days before he goes completely blind, and MorkDay decide to spend that time exploring together. Things are nice, simple.

Yet, I think they start that journey with very different ending goals in their minds. They have very different thoughts on how things will look like to them by the end of their six months, and while they spend time together and ponder on their hidden feelings, those thoughts only solidify. And this is what I think goes on in their heads and how it shapes the final ending of my own version of this story:

Mork comes to the realization that by the end of this journey, Day will no longer need a caretaker, need him. His duty is done and he is free to go. His debt will be paid (maybe he's counted he will have enough money by then), and he can plan his future however he wishes. Maybe this even means that it is his time to go and live the life he never got to have before. Why would he stay if Day no longer needs him? If other bonds (friendship, companionship) remain, they will be able to keep in touch through their phones, even if from a distance. 

For Day, it's all very different. He might be very hesitant at first, not quite trusting his own feelings, not quite believing in himself. But after each day, after each moment spent with Mork, he grows a little surer. He knows what he wants. He knows what he wants from this future Mork has helped Day realize is still in front of him.

He wants Mork. He wants them to stay together.

So, during his last seeing moments, Day gathers his courage and kisses Mork. That is his last image, the last thing he wishes to do, the only image that is missing and the only image that will forever remain. Admitting to Mork that he likes him and accepting that he wants to be with Mork in the future are his ending and beginning. He is finally being honest about everything. 

Day wants more, not just a caretaker. Mork is now free to accept or refuse.

Of course, by this point, we would all know that Mork will accept. He will be delighted to accept. What else is there when we can so clearly see the deep bond between them? How could they ever part when they mean so much to each other? They're the only two that have remained "blind" to the inevitable.

And so we get that yes, and another kiss. Followed by the happiest smiles they've ever shown us, maybe some tears even. Day holding Mork’s face between his hands and taking in the darkness, yet feeling happy in it. He has a future with Mork. He will build a future that has them both in it.   

I don’t know if I would require much more story after that. Beyond hearing Mork’s answer to Day after finishing their journey together, I never asked for much else. It would be satisfying if done right, if it feels like both of them have found peace and purpose. They start off as troubled individuals and end up happy, content, together. 

Maybe I would be a little greedy though, and accept a time skip which shows us glimpses of MorkDay’s life after. Day is doing something new with his life that makes him feel satisfied. Mork is finally living for himself.

I wanted there to be hints about what Mork might want to do throughout the story/journey, just like they gave hints in the series that Day would love to own a bookshop later. I never quite bought Mork’s cooking career in the series – I know they paint it so that Mork enjoys cooking, especially to others/those he loves, but it never fully felt like his own choice to become a chef. It feels more like something he has to do because at first, he enters the chef position for money. He loses his job as a caretaker and has to find something else to live on. It makes it once again feel less like his own choice and more like a survival instinct.

And so, we have come to the end of my string of thoughts. This is what I had in my head about Mork and Day, how I thought the story of Last Twilight would go. This is what the pilot left me with after giving me its impeccable vibes. Would this be a better series? For me, definitely. Others might disagree, but I did not write this for you anyway so, sorry. 

Just… Last Twilight could’ve been so much, so different. And even a year later I still mourn the fact that it was not, that it will never be. Such wasted potential, but I’ll love it anyway. I’ll love the parts I've managed to salvage. 

(Thank you for reading if you did read this whole thing! Feel free to discuss this idea with me if you want to or point out any things I might remember incorrectly/have forgotten. My inbox is open and so are my dms, I won't bite ^^)

[samble-moved]

post itself

false flags

trans/adjacent tags

accessibility features

tumblr live post (thanks for the link, @problemnyatic)

flashing / strobing / lights

unblockable flashing ad

buying ad free

staff @/macmanx guilt trip

list of staff + more issues

[phillip-bankss]

Ok this is a long shot but I’ve been looking for this for years. Circa maybe 2017. There used to be an artist on here that was a classically trained oil painter who painted these elegant scenes where the subject was always a twink model posed erotically with very poorly drawn MSPaint style anime guys as if it was a someone’s deviantart OC photoshopped into a picture, but it was all part of the painting. He would post his pieces displayed next to the irl twink model he painted. Help me find him

[astrmastr]

based on a dream i had some nights ago

it was a pretty fun experience this was me after

[sieluritari]

A lot of us with ADHD are familiar with the concept of time blindness, but for anyone who isn't: it's a neurological inability to have a consistent sense of the passage of time. If you put me in an empty room, gave me a button and told me to press it when I think it's been 15 minutes, I might press it after..... idk, anywhere between 3 minutes and 2 hours? And if we repeated it the next day the result would probably be wildly different!

But something I've only seen mentioned in one (1) Reddit post, which took some extensive digging to find, is the same effect extending to ALL things measured in numbers. Distance, weight, length, height, amount, space, volume, percentage... For me, small numbers are a bit easier, I could approximate a centimetre probably, but a metre would be much harder and 10 or 100 would likely miss the mark by a lot. Also, anything that can't be easily measured with a ruler or a measuring tape (like weight or volume) is even harder since I don't encounter reference points (like a 1kg hand weight) for those as frequently as I see visual representations of specific lengths.

It's not dyscalculia or anything like that, I'm decent at math (and the OP of the Reddit post was a math major) and I have no other difficulties with numbers, it's just a disconnect in translating real life experiences like sensory input into numbers (and possibly also inconsistent processing of sensory input? Like how the same sound volume is okay one day but hurts my ears the next?), which I think is basically the same thing as what happens with time blindness. For now I've been calling it "measurement blindness" since I've never seen a name for it anywhere, but maybe "quantity blindness" could also work?

I've talked to other people with time blindness to see if they experience this too, but so far none of them have known what I'm talking about. I'd really like to know how many of us are out there and if anyone knows literally anything actually scientific about this very inconvenient phenomenon!

Tl;dr: bc I am wordy:

It's like time blindness but for all things measured in numbers

Not dyscalculia or caused by it

Pretty much never seen it talked about anywhere

Please tell me if it sounds familiar and/or you know something about it, thank

[canisalbus]

My auntie keeps Golden Guernsey goats on our island, like many of our local unique breeds of livestock they nearly went extinct in the starving during ww2 occupation surviving by only one smuggled flock. They're super friendly and energetic and their colouration might be of interest :eyes:

Oh OH these are very pretty

[nelkcats]

Spite

Danny made himself known to the world by hacking into the Justice League's communications line. Amity was safe but he was so tired of being ignored that the moment he figured out how to isolate his small town from the rest of the world he decided to let the heroes know they had failed.

He posted all the ignored calls, the GIW legal documents, the experiments, everything that would let them know that they had failed. Because he had saved himself and the others but never got help.

In a very short time Amity declared itself independent, similar to Atlantis or Themyscira; they didn't need anything from the rest of the world anyway.

At first the League thought it was the attack of a villain or some new organization.

It became very obvious that this was not the case the more they confirmed the information presented, from a law passed under their noses to the threat of exterminating an entire race of beings that were much stronger than them but decided to chose a peaceful route instead of just destroying everything.

For the first time in years, the League felt useless. The weight only increased when the last piece of "evidence" turned out to be the death certificate of Daniel Fenton, the first victim of the whole mess.

[teaboot]

(I'm a security guard.)

[hot-claws]

From X-Men Annual #4

There's so much in this panel. Like, why are the X-Men so bad at gift giving? Who would give Kurt like that awful shirt? Binoculars? Weights?? Why is Logan eating that stark white turkey thigh? Who prepared that? D-did Logan go to a Kinkos and get his face printed for his gag gift? Was that a nice photo? Who took that photo? Did he pay a photographer? Is the real gift from him that nice stetson? If so, why doesn't Kurt wear it?

[moonshynecybin]

Hey! Just wanted to say I’m in awe of how your writing it’s just so GOOD and FUN and TORUROUS. It’s rly hard to nail the voices and dialogue of characters (especially when writing them speaking in english!) but you always make it so believable. Ur Vale especially is sooo charismatic which like hats off bc a more mercurial man has not been made. 

Re ur charged-airport-conversation fic, I’m intrigued to find out how Marc will handle his sexuality crisis. Will he be in denial? does he very seriously study gay culture like telemetry data? is he getting Grindr? is he seeing it as something to incorporate into his PT routine & somehow translate this to a competitive edge? how did he feel about the pope saying frociaggine????

Also I loved the goofy brother shenanigans, Alex strongest most patient and silliest man alive truly. Extremely funny to think of Alex “please get a girlfriend you’re 30 and annoying me” Marquez having to cope with Marc coming back like “I found one! :3” holding hands with Cervera’s enemy #1 undisputed champ 2015-2024

Anyways, would love to hear any thoughts u had but no pressure! I just wanted to thank u for ur brilliant mind & forget about whatever fresh hell that sprint was 

this one. is one that i plan to maybe actually and fr write out so i shant answer in full because i hope that you'll find out eventually. um. i CAN give you chapter two! of THIS fic where Marc and Vale get stuck in an airport and have a somewhat fraught little bonding session. i have not proofread this OR reread the original so if there's inconsistencies just chill out. theres also a lot of liberties taken with the amount of privacy these guys have on a given race weekend again just chill out. please. they live in different countries and are bitter rivals its hard to get them alone into fictional scenarios. its about 1.4k.

(Part ONE !)

The next time he sees Vale is in the paddock.

It's not unusual to see him— the paddock is small and Vale is always a presence, felt even when he’s gone, indelible—but it’s on the television more often than not these days. Maybe a glimpse of him zooming around on his scooter, ignoring the swing of the camera phones tracking him in his wake. But it’s not like this, never this close up. Vale maintains distance, and Marc has adapted to take his cues from that same distance. He’s not going to be the first to engage, not anymore. 

All that being said, Marc is trying to grab some alone time in between sessions, communing with his lunch and contemplating ways to improve his breaking into Turn 11. He’s tucked into a shady place out of the way, generally out of the range of any stray cameras, when Vale catches him, sliding next to him on the table and leaning forwards on his elbows.

He starts picking at Marc’s food.

Marc reacts reflexively, not even processing that it's Vale who’s at his elbow who is reaching over to snag a bit of his chicken. He lifts his bowl out of reach like he would with Alex. “Hey— that's mine,”

Vale’s game, apparently, shooting him one of those dangerous grins, eyes crinkling at the sides towards Marc like he hasn’t seen in years. He’s brimming with the confidence of someone used to getting away with breaking rules. Marc puts down his food. Lifts a hand, adjusts the cap at the top of his head, and tucks his hair behind his ear. 

This means something. He doesn’t know what.

“Allora, you were not eating it.”

And Marc has always been easy for it—the simple skill he has in spinning a situation into the brightest version of itself, mood turning on a dime. Even when he was destroying Marc, he would do it with a smile. 

It’s that same silverbright thread that makes Marc laugh, disbelieving, a shock of delight. He shoves at the edge of Vale’s arm, jockeying with his elbow. He bites his lip, shakes his head. Would you look at that?

“Presumptuous,” Marc scolds, and tucks back into his lunch, forking another bite into his mouth. Vale grins and leans closer, conspiratorial. That same hot, embarrassed feeling from the airport rears its head, giddy. Marc glances around. There’s no one here. He feels like there is. LIke there’s eyes on them, even though he’d chosen a place where there shouldn't be.

It feels like crossing a line, teetering on the edge of some cliff, one toe over the edge. Hot and anticipatory in the pit of his stomach. There’s a breeze going, and he shivers. Vale leans closer.

He likes it. 

He also knows that he shouldn't like it. He’s gone through this song and dance before. This feeling, this hero worship that he has with Vale never leads him down any good road. He thought– six premier class titles and nearly ten years of vitriol had been an effective cure. Not so, he’s finding out.

Vale corrects, “I see what I see. This I cannot help.”

“Oh yeah? You’ve been watching me?

Vale shrugs, steals another bite. “You do manage to put on a good, ah, show.” He finds the words in Spanish. Marc can’t remember the last time they spoke in Spanish.

Marc takes a breath in. Settles himself. He doesn’t know what the end goal is here. Curiosity wins out— it’s better than wondering why Vale’s here in the first place. What game he’s trying to play. What he thinks he’ll get out of being nice to Marc, aside from that shivery feeling clawing its way up the base of his spine. He should really at least find out if he’s doing this because he plans on not being nice to Marc. 

“How did you find me?” Is what he goes with. Neutral enough. 

“You are not hard to find.” The answer is vague, but frank. Vale loves to speak around things.

Marc raises an eyebrow, decides to just keep looking at him. They both know he’s bullshitting. Vale breaks, and makes a face, shrugging.

“I have been racing here longer than you. I know the hiding spots.”

Marc gives him a minute roll of the eyes. It's still not an answer. “You know, they remodeled not too long ago. The entire layout changed.” Vale would’ve had to work to find him. 

“Not too much!” Vale spreads his palms cheerfully, seizing on a diversion. “The bones are still the same. The stands are over there,” he juts a thumb, “The pits are here. The bathrooms change, but bah. It’s a facelift.”

Marc wrangles down a smile. Vale’s not being serious— he’s being fun. Maybe he’s trying to get him comfortable for some reason. “A lot changes, I think.” He says frankly, and he means it. 

Vale’s eyes flash. He sees Marc’s conviction, catches the double meaning. Another one of their conversations centering around two different issues on the surface, but coming back to their history all the same. The elephant in the room butting into other topics. History, division, and rivalry, all sneaking its way into the cracks in their words. 

Vale keeps going, the lead in their little play.

“Maybe. But it’s not— like, aerodynamics, new regulations, new tires— all that changes. Small stuff.  Opinions, riders. But it is still a paddock. I’ve been in paddocks my entire life. You can’t change much.”

Things change a lot, in Marc’s experience. People. Teams. Bodies. 

Friendships.

And Marc is brave usually, has made a career out of it, so he feels like he has to ask. No use avoiding it and feeling half out of his skin for the rest of the day. Vale’s knee bumps into his own and he closes his eyes briefly. When he opens them Vale is already looking at him

“Why are you here?” He levels.

Vale throws him a soft smile. It comforts exactly no part of Marc.

“Maybe I was looking for a hiding place.”

Marc hesitates, choosing his words carefully. It’s always a spar with Valentino; even when they were friendly, they were still competing.

“Am I the hiding place?”

“Well, I am still more famous than you, is true. Less photographers on you than me. It’s peaceful.”

“What do you want from me?”

“Now there’s a good question.” Vale says, stealing something else off of Marc’s plate. “Today? I was hungry. I thought I’d stop by and eat with an old friend.” The words jolt through Marc like a highside. He’s in the air— lost, flying, falling. 

Vale stands, towering. He claps Marc on the shoulder. It burns white hot. Marc keeps his eyes on him, trying to catch a hint, a clue as to how this all happened. 

An old friend.

“Is that what we are?” He asks, more earnest than he should be. Vale can be such a bastard.

“Well, what would you call it?” He responds, turning the question on Marc, voice quiet. Serious, like he knows whatever hangs between them is as thin as a spiderweb. Marc swallows.

“I don’t know,” Marc answers. still too honest, even now. Something flickers on Vale’s face, too quick and complex for him to read. 

“Think about it.” Vale prompts, and walks away.

Marc finds out that they weren’t alone, in that section of the paddock the next day. The pictures hit the news after the race, headlines rolling in thankfully after Marc has left for home. Valentino Rossi and Marc Marquez sharing lunch, alone on a race weekend ten years after their falling out. What could it mean? 

But Marc’s eyes look at the photo and just catch on Vale’s shoulders, leaning towards Marc, the palm of his hand, arcing through the air as he gestures, frozen on the screen of his phone, and himself, eyes crinkled at the corners. He was wrong. He didn’t manage to reign in that smile after all. 

FRIENDS AGAIN?, the headline asks, and Marc wonders.

[beescake]

The Sollux expressions are so sweet!!! Why's he crying in the last one?

your ask is 2mths old so sorry aghk 👁️

basically the answer is that i draw expressions reflecting my mood arnd that character LOL

[turquoisemagpie]

Appreciate the little things.

Not to ignorantly deny all of the big bad things in the world, but to survive them.

[lokh]

what do you think toshiro's version of laios would've been like if he was still with the group during the shapeshifter shenanigans

there have been a few speculations in the tag and among the fans and they are all very good SO i am going to take this opportunity to insert a bit of my shipping bias as i like in my interpretation LMAO agdsfgdfgv

i noted that in actuality shuro seems to have a very good grasp on laios' character??? this is most obvious in the manga later on but even seeing how he criticises laios in their fight... iirc nothing he says is actually untrue or wildly exaggerated, and while he does express frustration over something he feels like laios Should have control over (noticing his cues), he is also aware that laios isnt being malicious and that hes Just Like That. what i mean to say is that while i think his version of laios may seem more pushy and in-your-face, i dont think it will be overwhelmingly so. if its post-fight, i think the idea of laios (and marcille) being willing to do anything to get falin back made a big impression on him, as well as the idea that they need to eat and rest in order to succeed in their goals, so those aspects would be prominent in his version. he seems pretty observant, so i think for the most part the physical traits would line up, but i think there would be specific things that stand out to him that would appear strangely striking on his version of laios (like. idk something about his eye colour or the subtle contrast of his armour and chainmail. he seems to have a weird sense of aesthetics if extras are anything to go by lmao). if hed actually been paying attention all those times laios had gone on about what the hell ever, then it might be even MORE hard to tell apart his version since he would also have a good grasp on what laios should know. so either his version of laios is pretty difficult to pick out, OR despite the character being accurate his appearance is too. stylised lmao (exaggerated features or something) OR!! they just get him to pull out his monster gourmet guide thing and are able to tell from there. iirc everyone was surprised at its appearance so its possible toshiro had also never seen it before

IN MY IMAGINARY SHIPPING SCENARIO............ lets say that his laios isnt able to be picked out immediately and that the monster guide thing also doesnt immediately occur to anyone. what the real laios Specifically notices is how close this other laios keeps getting to shuro. and hes like. ??? why is he getting so close to him, theres no way i get that close to him??? but no one else seems to be picking up on it as weird, so hes having a small crisis like do i REALLY get that close to him???? and now that hes on the outside he notices shuro subtly leaning away and he feels both a wave of shame and..... protectiveness??? (JEALOUSY??????) and he immediately steps in and grabs him like Hey!!! cant you see hes uncomfortable???? weve been through this already!!! and like. ok i cant believe im doing this again but i need to separate this into different endings

a) the whump route: i dont think shuro ever envisioned Actually Telling laios about his frustrations outside of being basically cornered into it. has he ever spoken up against what was expected of him?? has he ever been confrontational???? i think part of what held him back from expressing his frustrations, along with the cultural norms, could be fear of what the reaction would be. if he had done the same in any other aspect of his life (his family, his inheritance), i think he would expect disappointment, disapproval, more proof that he doesnt add up to expectation. to be honest i dont think he Truly believes that laios is the type of person to react like this. but it was strong enough to prevent him from acting and i think would be projected onto his image of laios. maybe fake!laios says something dismissive like Well if it really bothered him hed say something right? what, he cant even stand up for himself? cmon, shuro, prove that you cant handle it just like everything else. and thats pretty much the fastest giveaway that it isnt really laios. of course this would be a HUGE tonal departure from what the actual episode/chapter was, so:

b) the dumbass route: both laioses break into fisticuffs, and, yes.... barking. and so they speedrun the entire encounter as the shapeshifters true form appears and, after laios points out that thinking too hard about others versions of you can tear apart groups and peace of mind, they pointedly do not speak of it again. they think about it though. a LOT

c) the normal route: both laioses argue normal like and the group ends up being able to tell them apart because the fake laios goes on a little too long about how theyre all here for falin and everyones like ok its not like he DOESNT love his sister but.......... the rest of the scenario probably goes like canon, though then i would want to see what everyone Else thought of shuro

[the-final-sif]

what is your opinion on the situation?

I've been at work all day so I haven't been able to sit down with stuff fully, it also seems like Caiti is planning to release a statement later today with more information I think? So I'd like to get her response there, but based on what I've seen so far I think I fall more on the side of "people made some dumb choices and should learn from them" than anything else.

Consent is messy and it gets messier when people start lying or are drunk. In this case, both Caiti and George were drunk. From what I understand, either Caiti had a 21+ wristband from the vidcon party, or her friend group did and assumed since she was drinking with them, she was also 21+.

Honestly, when it comes to the matter of underage drinking, I don't think it's even remotely fair to place blame on Dream/George for that. The blame there lies with Caiti deciding to drink while under 21, and on her friends, Ghostie and the other person present who were both over 21. Unlike Dream/George, both of them knew Caiti and knew exactly how old she was and were letting her drink. They were also letting her drink with no one sober and no one making sure she got home.

Now, Caiti is 18 and also I'm not a goddamn square, I'm not gonna stand here and be like "oh no drinking at 18 clutch my pearls" but like, if people are going to blame other people for that situation, that very much lies with Caiti's friends who knew they had an underage person drinking with them. I feel like people are weirdly assigning blame to Dream/George for not like, iding every person they hang out with (particularly if she had a 21+ bracelet at vidcon, which would mean she already got IDed). While completely avoiding placing any blame on the people who 100% knew they were taking an 18 year old drinking without a doubt.

Putting that aside, from my understanding George's side is he believed at the time that she was having fun, and the most they did was cuddle on a couch with other people there. He believed at the time that everything was cool, and that she later decided she was uncomfortable with what happened.

Honestly, I don't really think that's an unfair reading. At this same party, her best friend was there and from Ghostie's own words, she also didn't realize Caiti was uncomfortable until several months later when Caiti told her. If her best friend didn't notice she was uncomfortable or see anything wrong, then I find it hard to think anyone else would pick up on it.

There's certainly risks taken here that I wouldn't have taken. I think that George needs to do better with checking for consent and maybe vetting the people you're hanging out with. Although I also understand that doing a full background check on everyone you ever meet is an absurd requirement and if, at the time, they trusted the person that they actually invited, I get how that shit happens. Per consent, given that he was also drunk, I get how it may've appeared to him that he had consent. I do think it's still something to work on, but I'm also perfectly aware that in real life, people are often going off vibes and social cues, and sometimes those don't mash.

I also think that Caiti's friends have been pretty shitty throughout this. They take no responsibility for having let an 18 year old drink and then ditching her. They are absolutely milking drama out of this shit and they have a weird obsession with blaming Dream for shit he had no fault in.

As for Dream, I don't think he did anything wrong here. Full stop. If Caiti's best friend didn't notice that she was uncomfortable or unhappy, it's insanely unreasonable to expect Dream to have managed that. He was also drunk and hanging out with people, and he had no way of knowing Caiti was underage. None of that shit was his fault, and his statement seems very measured and reasonable. People are trying to blame him for things that he had absolutely no part in, and the UK group are absolutely trying to pull that shit.

Overall, sounds like several people involved made dumb choices, I hope they learn and grow. Otherwise all of this honestly sounds like shit that should've been talked out privately and not tossed to the internet for speculation. Human beings are messy and will fuck up sometimes. This feels like a case of miscommunication and people making risky choices that left people with some hurt.

Again, I may change my mind with further evidence presented, but that's how it feels to me.

[microtyalm13]

everything about Gavriil feels suffocating.

how his presence alone can be almost overwhelming, how his massive body cages you everytime without a chance to escape. you wouldn't dare to try anyway, knowing that you don't even have a say against a creature of his caliber. he will find you. in your dreams, in your nightmares. in your room.

how he will be intense and vague about everything just for the sake of it; to confuse you further, to see the conflict of emotions in your eyes merge with arousal. eventually your hesitance turns into acceptance, a desperate need to feel his hands all over you. and he will be oh so grateful to fulfill that desire.

how his thick tongue pushes past your lips and into your mouth, reaching almost the back of your throat, relishing in the muffled little sounds you make. your drool mixed with his saliva drips down your chin, and your hazy eyes look up at him when he finally pulls away, giving you a second to breathe.

how his hips are slamming into you relentlessly, your wetness and lack of resistance allowing him to move almost effortlessly. forced to hold onto him for dear life instead of pushing away. all of your morals and principles are being tossed out of the window every single time he comes to you. he has you where he wants you, and will not stop until he feels like you can't take it anymore.

and how in the morning he vanishes away, leaving you guessing: was it just another wet dream? but the cold stickiness between your legs tells you more than you need to know.

[canisalbus]

If I remember correctly you created Machete around 2007-2008. But when did you create Vasco? (I'm sorry of this has been asked before, I couldn't find anything)

First finished pictures of Vasco are from 2018, but even before that I had been thinking it would be interesting if Machete had had one (1) romantic relationship in his youth before he was ordained. I just didn't have a name and design for him yet.

In the earliest sketches of Vasco, he first looked a little bit like a bordercollie, then like a spaniel or a setter. He had a darker color palette as well, sort of chestnut brown with white markings, but combined with the overpowering whiteness of Machete he looked kind of impassionate and drab, so I kept making him warmer and lighter until he became the golden boy he is today. The name came later, I just thought Vasco sounded friendly and charismatic. (Also the old finnish word 'vaski' means brass and bronze, and even if it's a tedious connection and doesn't factor into their canon at all, it felt too fitting to me personally and I had to go with it).