#actually. replace fuck w kill and its exactly the same

[jam-packed]

marc saw that old man and said "is anyone gonna fuck that guy?" and didnt wait for an answer

[wiretism]

do you have any ideas in mind for how swap!evans scrap baby design would look, assuming its different from regular scrap baby? (since yk, its implied(?) they rebuilt themself after getting kicked out of ennard)

oh and how did/do evan and circus baby interact/feel about each other?

-cross

I DREW THIS ASK TODAY AND CANNOT SHARE THE ART BC ITS. ON PAPER. AND I DONT HAVE MY PHONE

But i thought id answer anyways, ill rb with a doodle if i can manage one (maybe in my animation class?)

first of all, he'd not be half as smashed up as liz was. he wanted to be cute and whatever, and his goal is. not killing ppl lmao.

so he goes back and gets a discarded unused circus baby faceplate from the bunker. its old and the faceplates dont move well at all (rusty and stuck together, mostly) but its not horrible. its also cracked a bit but. what can you do?

instead of wires and whatever i think hed want something softer to use for hair so i gave him some sort of fucked up string. its thick and fluffy but falling appart :( poor dude he also got other discarded animatronic concepts that william and henry kept in case they wanted to use them elsewhere. evan still has the claw on one hand but the other is an unnecessarily large paw (he cant exactly remember why at this point, but he loves bears so the paw caught his eye)

his outfit is just cloathes he found in the garbage and therefore doesnt fit well. and his torso is just the usual circus baby torso if not a bit fucked up by all the time itd been left in the bunker. its also cracked and rusty similar to his mask

his feet r just whatever he could find, but those wont even be seen a lot bc hes in the vents so who cares

the big paw is also one of the same as what molten freddy dug up to replace the rubber hose esque hands ennard had (not REALLY rubber hose but meant to look the part yk?)

as for evs relationship w cbby, its complicated. he initially wants nothing to do with the animatronic or possessing it, but when he sees liz he suddenly wants to seize control (hence bouncing between circus baby and evan)

at that time, there was still a pretty clear line between evan and cbby, bc of how hed avoided her n shit in a way bc he cant. he cant leave her lmao but he just didnt try to BE her. still while SL takes place the line does blur between him and cbby.

post scoop he finds mike and tells him about elizabeth and for a while michael keeps him seperate from the other animatronics bc yk, having someone he KNEW was his sibling and who KNEW his identity helped him and michael is the most conscious of everyone. and so he once again was aware of who he was but when michael and the funtimes both dumped him they reallty merged and it became unclear who was who (which lead to his memories getting fucked wehn he was rebuilding himself) and just overall hes weird and Not Evan Anymore. especially because evan being rejected by michael compared to circus baby being abandoned by william and the funtimes and that pain of being thrown to the curb causing anger in both that ended with them having such similar ideas and feelings that they might as well be the same entity

as far as interactions go, they really didnt interact much for a VERY long time and when they did it was quick and uncomfortable. but when evan tried to wrestle control back its started a weird silent relationshi

Circus baby did not want to get rid of him, she didnt entirely know what he was ("I still hear her sometimes" yk?) other than shed killed him and sometimes shed say things she didnt think.

evan didnt like how everything was going with elizabeth, so he wanted to subtly steer her elsewhere. however, between his own bitterness at her leaving him alone and inadvertently causing his death, and circus baby and him becoming one, he eventually began leading her to the scooper.

and evan is a lot more convincing than circus baby was.

its not until he's set free that evan is actually evan again

[decepti-thots]

I always wanted to ask JRO why he ended up choosing Ambulon to be the one to die, and along that end, I wonder what would have happened if First Aid died instead (would love to hear your ideas on both accounts)

Oooh, that's an interesting proposition.

FWIW, I assumed that Ambulon was the one to die for a couple reasons. Maybe partly because JRo perhaps felt more comfortable at that point quite unceremoniously killing off an OC rather than an established, recognised G1 character, since that death was less its own conclusion and more an obstacle for Ratchet; easier to justify that sort of thing with your own character versus a G1 old favourite, tbh. And then likely more significantly because of the Agent 113 stuff already being in play for later down the line. Both in his intro on Delphi in the comic itself and, for people reading other IDW stuff, in the story Bullets. It's very clearly established to be Aid who is the one checking badges.

But an AU where it's First Aid and not Ambulon who dies is a fascinating idea. Ambulon, bless him, didn't get a huge amount of time or attention in canon, but we do know a few things and JRo has given us some word of god stuff we can choose to incorporate if we like. And I do like, so I will!

JRo said that despite Pharma hating cons as much as he did, he and Ambulon had a "grudging respect" for each other. So I would assume that like FA, he took the Delphi stuff pretty personally, even if he and Pharma weren't exactly BFFs; plus Pharma tried to pin his own crimes on Ambulon to avoid detection, which must have been pretty fucking galling! So between that and now FA being killed, I imagine Ambulon would find himself in much the same "oh FUCK this guy" space as Aid did in canon.

But. Ambulon's position is inherently way more precarious than Aid's was when it comes to wanting to kill Pharma. We see suspicion levelled at him right from the Delphi arc as an easy scapegoat because he used to be a con. I can imagine that as potentially being a fork where no matter how much he wants to, Ambulon, unlike FA, does not kill Pharma. Which... Pharma's death turns out to be pretty important by the end of LL, albeit not in a way anyone would ever have guessed at the time, so there's a big sticking point for you. (Would he try to incapacitate him? Is this how I make the "Pharma on the LL as a prisoner" AU of my dreams at last?)

But also, Ambulon just isn't going to fill the same role post-Luna 1 for the ship or Ratchet. What we know of Ambulon as a medic is that he's a ward manager, which is to say, he's a nurse. (Actually a nurse, unlike FA.) He's not someone Ratchet is realistically going to be looking at to potentially replace him like FA was. He's not a surgeon, he's not in line to take over as CMO. That throws a huge wrench into Ratchet's later plot, because a) he now has an ironclad excuse not to retire and to not think about why he's refusing to do so and b) he can't go after Drift later because he has nobody to leave the medbay in the hands of now FA is gone. (No reason to assume any other background medic or w/e would be in line tbh, FA seemed to be the one person he was gonna choose, so I'll happily rule that out as a workaround.)

Mmm. I wonder what the relationship with Ambulon he'd have would look like under those circumstances. I can see it being... very tense, not antagonistic, but tense for reasons outside both of their control.

I do also wonder how much, over time, Ambulon might have come out of his shell a bit. He's not especially sociable from what we do see of him, is he? It's interesting to consider him making actual friends over time. Especially since once the mutineer stuff comes, that would likely be the make-or-break in terms of who he sided with; FA, of course, initially sided with Getaway and regretted it, but escaped getting nudge gun'd because he left before anything went down. I could see Ambulon going either way, though.

Plus, of course, the 113 stuff. That whole thing goes completely sideways without Aid there.

Anyway, it would actually have a surprisingly large impact on the plot, I think. It's a neat concept.

[limelocked]

look man i had an idea and then it accidentally got kinda long so have the scenario of ranboo being brought forward as a spy/traitor and tubbo finally snapping at his vice president smile, its what he deserves

-

The podium had been gone for weeks but it felt the same still, speaking with Quackity to his left but Fundy replacing Schlatt on his right. He felt a little short of breath having to go through with this plan, of executing Dream at a festival... it left a dry taste of gunpowder in his mouth.

“Thank you all for coming to this festival to peace and the independence recognized by Dream, fully, of our nation“ he couldn’t look at the crowd of people by the market, he had to focus on the very familiar queue cards in his hands. “And thank you to Ranboo for decorating the place! And uh, for setting up the games!“ he glanced briefly at Ranboo over by the stairs, he was writing the minutes still but looked up to smile in acknowledgment. “This nation has had a, I’d say it’s had a turbulent past these past few months with Jschlatt taking over and Wilbur going crazy-“ he forced himself to sound happy, for his country “and most recently with the walls coming back ending with the exile of the vice president“ he couldn’t see it but Quackity was glowing with pride at his side, the new vice president, a spot retaken.

“But like we can see here, now, no matter how much TNT or how many fights L’Manburg has to endure, we will still be able to come back and build the nation better and stronger so that we can take revenge against those that have tried to bring us down“ he didn’t like that line about revenge, but he’d been forced to keep it. “Jschlatt and Wilbur both, uh, passed away, quite unexpectedly-“ he laughed, the nervousness shining through “but there are still people like Technoblade, who executed me and spawned withers within our borders, that continue to be a threat even in peace times“ his hands were shaking. “So while this is a festival to peace! Our nation will stay strong! And protect our people“ there was applause but his head felt too fuzzy to process it, he just handed the word to Quackity, switching spots for his speech.

He didn’t notice the movement.

“Exactly Mister President, this nation is strong and will not stand for threats made against us“ he leaned closer to the mic and with a low voice that Tubbo remembered too clearly he continued. “This nation won’t stand for traitors, right Ranboo?“

When Tubbo properly looked Ranboo was already restrained, held down by Sapnap and Karl, the latter of which held a book above his head, signalling to Quackity that it’d been found.

“W- what’s going on Big Q?“ the nervous and scared chuckle mixed with disbelief, this couldn’t be happening... right?

“See Tubbo?! Ranboo’s been spying on us for Technoblade this whole time! Did he tell you that he APPARENTLY gave all of Technoblades armour back?!“

“No?? What???“ He looked to the scared enderman then to the book that was now changing hands. This wasn’t-

“Who’s to say he’s not working with Dream, huh?!“ The crowd was stirring, somewhere inside was Dream who wasn’t supposed to know this plan, Quackitys plan, Quackitys execution of-

“Tubbo I-“ Ranboo sounded remorseful and panicked, everything was loud and just so very chaotic.

“SHUT UP!“ This is enough. “EVERYBODY SHUT UP!“ This isn’t right. “What the hell Quackity?!“ This is just like last time and he won’t live this again, he won’t let this happen. “Your plan was to kill Dream of all people and I followed with you for some Stupid reason, but this is just wrong! You’re acting like Schlatt man! I- I can’t just, stand here and watch Ranboo get absolutely executed like I did, Big Q this is actually pretty fucked up“

“Tubbo he’s a traitor!“ the man who’d corrupted his government wasn’t going to step down and at his side stood Fundy now, holding the book and agreeing.

“TO WHO QUACKITY?!“ There is little that’s as scary as a long tempered man losing his cool and the vice president now stood there, shocked. And Tubbo sighed, making up his mind. “Quackity you are hereby stripped of your rank as vice president. You aren’t exiled, but you are no longer part of my government. Please get off the stage“

[redxblueihateloveyou]

I wrote this just cause I noticed, I wasn’t the only one thinking about this happening. Tagging @rinmatsuokatrash, I know it’s not exactly what you wanted and I’m not a writer, but I know you were thinking about it, too <3  And yeah, I totally agree with "with how oblivious Rin is I feel like Haru could literally ask him to be his boyfriend, and somehow Rin would still misunderstand” post (he already told him to call, right to his face and he was still like “I really want to call him, but should I tho?” I was like “Nevermind, Einstein” lmao). But I honestly think that at one point a long time ago Rin thought that the possibilty of his feelings being requited was zero, and now he just idiotically thinks that Haru’s “I’m totally in love” face when he looks at him is meant for a tree behind him aparently *smh*

Here the link to AO3.

Just Be With Me.

Rin accidentally finds out what Hiyori said to Haru (cause I've been fucking dreaming about this since 3x04 lol). Which leads to an unexpected turn of events.

Set after arcades, but doesn't fit the canon timeline, since it's also set after Rinharu reunion and Haru isn't at camp.

______

They were on their way out of the arcades, when Rin overheard Kisumi and Asahi actively arguing about something.

"He has some good qualities!"

Asahi only shrugged angrily.

"He’s an asshole!"

They were clearly still deep into the argument, that Kisumi has started with Sousuke about that Hiyori guy. Rin just shook his head, smiling. Pink haired boy was almost laying on Asahi's shoulder, while he was talking.

"He’s not that bad."

"You weren’t there. And you didn’t see Haru’s face when he said that. And he still didn’t even apologize. That asshole clearly knew, what he was saying. Haru looked miserable for days, he didn't even listen much, when I said that it was total bullshit. If it wasn’t for Nao-se.."

Rin found himself beside them, without even realizing it.

"What did he say?"

Asahi immediately lost his train of thought, startled by sudden interruption, and Rin tried to pull himself back, noticing that his tone was too harsh.

"Sorry..."

"It’s okay."

"What did he say? To Haru?"

Kisumi's face lit up with a grin, his eyes stopped on Rin's face, as if trying to find out if his guess is true, which Rin didn’t quite get and decided to ignore.

Asahi shrugged again.

"He said that everyone who swims with him ends up getting hurt, I just don’t get why Haru reacted like that. It’s a complete bullshit, that doesn’t make any sense."

Rin's blood went cold. He thought he hurt you, so he quit swimming.... Rei's voice resounded inside of his head. It felt like many years ago and at the same time like yesterday. To Rin it didn’t make any sense either, at a time. But he knew that Haru felt differently... Still? But he thought they cleared this up already. Rin frantically tried to replay all the events from that day. He clearly remembered saying to Rei that he never blamed Haru for anything that happened, but he just realized that he actually never said anything about it to Haru himself. But there was no way he could still feel that way. That felt surreal. Why? Rin's brain completely short-circuted.

He suddenly felt someone touching his shoulder.

"You okay?" Asahi was looking at him worriedly.

Rin shook his head, trying to get back to reality.

"Yeah, I’m... fine. Hiyo.." He turned around to look at the doors.

"They already left." There were clear hints of disappointment in Kisumi's voice.

Rin turned to Sousuke.

"You guys go without me. I need to..."

Sousuke just shook his head smiling and lightly waving.

"Go, Romeo."

Rin didn’t even hear him, already turning another way. It wouldn’t be the first time him and Haru unexpectedly needed to talk in the middle of the night. The only thing that Rin could think of right now is that he wouldn’t be able to sleep without talking to him after hearing that.

***

Haru was staring at Rin with wide eyes in the doorway, his hand froze on the doorknob. The pure shock in his gaze was quickly replaced with a flick of something that Rin couldn't quite identify, but what made him blush for some reason as he averted his eyes and awkwardly noticed.

"You shouldn't just open doors like that. It's not Iwatobi, you know. It's Tokyo."

When he raised his head again, Haru's face was already back to its usual unreadable self.

"Did something happen?" his voice was full of worry.

Rin shook his head. It was late and he didn't even know how to explain why he was here now.

"I.. I just needed to talk to you."

Haru just stepped out of the doorway, silently inviting Rin in.

"Actually we met Kisumi and other guys, when I was visiting Sousuke and I accidentally overheard them talking."

The door closed with too much force. When Haruka turned to Rin, his eyes were almost glossy.

"What is it?" His voice was tired now, no trace of the glint in his gaze, from when he saw him at the door. He looked as if he was expecting Rin to bring him mackerel, but got celery instead.

"I've heard about Hiyori."

Haruka rubbed his eyes, sighing. Honestly, this was the last thing that was on his mind.

"Do we really have to do this right now?" He snapped.

Rin furrowed his brows.

"You’re angry. Why are you angry?"

Haru took a deep breath. Seeing Rin's genuine concern made him feel embarrassed about his outburst.

"Sorry, I just.." His voice was barely a whisper. "It's because I thought you came here for another reason."

Red eyes got filled with confusion.

"What? Why would I come here?"

Haru chuckled bitterly.

"Of course. Why would you? You can go home, Rin. I’m okay now, promise. I forgot about what he said a long time ago."

"You're lying!"

"What's it to you, Rin?"

"Because it is about us! And I just want to know, why you let him think it was true!" Rin raised his voice, as he felt the anger filling him. Because that asshole was given the much wanted satisfaction of seeing Haru hurt. Because Haru was hurt and couldn't say anything back. Because he wasn't there with him. Because that asshole used him to hurt Haru. His Haru.

Rin tried to calm himself down.

"Did you think I lied, when I said that swimming with you was the only surprise I needed from that stupid party? Or when I said that without you I don't even see the point of this?"

Haru's eyes softened. He raised his hand for a moment as if he wanted to touch Rin, but then dropped it.

"No. I didn't. It's just..."

Haruka stopped for a moment. He honestly didn't know how to say this without it leading to him telling things he shouldn't. Rin's voice brought him back from his thoughts.

"Talk to me, please."

Haru felt himself giving up, catching the warm look in red eyes.

"I can't get this out of my head, you know." He said weakly. "A thirteen year old you sitting on the pool tiles and crying, because of me."

Rin winced. God, how many times since he grew up, he wanted to relive that moment and do everything differently. He looked into Haru's eyes, desperately trying to put everything he felt in these words.

"Never because of you. I swear, never once the thought of blaming you for anyhing has crossed my mind, Ha..."

"I know. Rei told me. I know you weren't. But I thought it was me. For four years I thought, I was the reason for that, and it just.. I can't get it out of my head. Just the thought makes my stomach turn and I can't sleep and I still can't get used to this."

The last time Rin heard Haruka talk this much was when he was yelling at him on that bench. Haru took a deep breath to calm his voice and smiled sadly.

"I think, I've felt like this just three times in my entire life, and I still don't know how to deal with this."

Rin watched him carefully, before asking, "W.. What made you feel like this the second time?"

Haruka eyes drifted, like he was reliving something. I don’t have to swim with you ever again. Ever. His voice was distant when he simply answered.

"You."

Rin swallowed hard, feeling like he was about to puke and already dreading hearing the next answer.

"And.. and the third?"

Haru's face flinched, as if he was in pain, his voice was barely a whisper, when he finally said, "Can we not do this, please? It’s humiliating."

Rin lowered his gaze to the floor, unable to meet the bright blues.

"I’m sorry. I..."

But Haru interupted him as soon as he started to speak.

"I didn't mean it like that.." His voice was much clearer now and yet sounded so much softer, that it made it made Rin raise his eyes again. "What do you have to be sorry for? It’s my problem, not yours. Besides..."

He froze for a moment, as if considering, if he should finish the next phrase. The second of the vulnerability in his eyes was immediately replaced with determination, as he looked right into Rin's eyes.

"...if I got to pick the happiest moments in my life, they’re all about you, too."

Rin felt like his heart actually stopped for a moment. There's no way Haru meant it like that. He cleared his throat.

"Don't, don't just say things like that so easy."

"E..easy?" Haru looked at Rin for a long time, his gaze still unreadable. "I just said the truth."

Rin let out a quiet chuckle, that meant to be sarcastic, but turned out sad.

"Right, sorry."

For a second he thought, that he saw Haru's face turning ever more pale.

"Right, sorry?!" Behind the irritation in his voice, two words were filled with so much hurt that Rin felt his blood going cold. "Well, don't be, it’s not your fault, you don’t feel the same."

Rin froze. It can't be. But there's no way those words can be interpreted any different. No, there's no way he heard this right.

"Haru... you’re killing me, it can’t..." Rin ran his shaky fingers through his hair. "But you can't be. In love with me?"

No, with Gou sarcastically remarked Haru in his mind. He couldn’t believe that this absurd idea of him being with his sister somehow has crossed Rin's mind already three times in his lifetime, but not once he would think about him being Haru's second half.

"Go home, Rin."

"You didn’t answer my question."

"I don’t think it’s fair Rin. I think, I’ve said enough already."

"Will you please look at me?"

Hearing a shaky voice, Haru lifted his head only to meet eyes, that were staring at him so intently that he suddenly forgot how to breathe. He honestly just felt very tired. Of everything. And of this stupid constant pretending.

"I love you" Haru’s voice was very soft and quiet, but his eyes were full of challenge. "That's what you wanted to hear, right?"

"It’s not funny."

Haruka’s eyes grew a bit wide, when he suddenly swallowed and turned away, before saying, "Can you please leave, Rin?"

The barely heard shudder in his voice by the end of the phrase felt like a bucket of cold water. Suddenly Rin was shaken back to reality. Cause Haru would never joke about something like that.

Haru was in love with him? Haru... the one that made his heart an absolute unrecoverable mess throughout all these years... the one he wanted so badly, it hurt sometimes, wanted him back? Rin never even allowed himself to think about this possibility. He forced himself to take a shaky breath.

"You’re serious.. you’re actually serious."

The relief that filled his heart at this moment was so sudden, that he felt his eyes become watery. He never even realized that this feeling he tried to keep as deeply buried as possible was weighting down on him so much. It's like there was a constant hurt inside of him that he got used to living with, that has finally stopped. Rin needed to touch him. He caught Haru near the door, grabbing his wrist and forcing him to turn around, only to find himself eye to eye with a dreary blue gaze. Rin's hand traced Haruka's cheek, catching the wet trail and just like that the pain in his heart was back again. He made him cry. He never saw Haru cry. Rin buried his face in Haru's neck and felt a shaky hand on his hair.

"It's okay, Rin. Really. I'm gonna be fine..."

Only then Rin realized that he didn't even say anything. Was he.. was Haru just comforting him after thinking that he was rejected? Rin felt tears falling down on Haru's neck, when he pulled him closer, wrapping his arms tightly around the slender figure.

"I love you." Rin breathed out in a wet warm skin. He let his hand trace Haru's neck and felt the body in his arms tense. He forced himself to raise his head a stared straight into the disbelieving blue eyes. "I love you."

His mouth crushed into a slightly opened lips with such fervor, that the fingers in his hair harshly gripped the red strands. Haru's body shuddered in his arms as if was holding his breath for too long. His other hand trailed down Rin's stomach, until it found the way under his shirt and his arms got wrapped around the hot naked skin. Closer, he needed him as closer as possible. When Rin's teeth slightly grazed Haru's lower lip, he let out such a sinful moan, that Rin started to shake. Haru... Haru was so warm, no, he was buring in his arms. His legs quivered, when he felt Haru's tongue licking it's way past his lips. As if sensing that, Haru grabbed Rin's shirt and pulled him, while taking two steps back until his back hit the door. They pulled back for a second, taking a breath and catching each others eyes, still so close that their noses were touching.

Haru's hand found it's way behind Rin's ear, brushing the sensitive skin. "I've missed you. I’ve missed you so much."

Rin kissed the tip of Haruka's nose, his cheekbone, the corner of his mouth, thumb gently stroking over red swallen lips.

"Feels like I'm dreaming."

Haru let out a little laugh, but it still sounded almost painful.

"Stupid.." He breathed out into Rin's mouth, pinching his earlobe.

Rin's eyes slowly traced Haru's face and he felt himself blush. Haruka was just an absolutely beautiful mess. His eyes were still glazed with unshed tears, but were shining so brightly, that Rin found it hard to look away. He looked... he looked so breathtakenly happy, that Rin felt his chest clench.

"I'm sorry, I made you wait for so long."

Haruka's fingers under Rin's shirt thoughtlessly went up and down his ribs, making Rin shiver.

"Maybe... maybe now is better." His eyes drifted for a second. "I'm not sure, I could've let you go to another continent after that."

Rin laughed breathlessly, suddenly felling very shy.

"You want to... Will you go out with me?"

Haruka's eyes glinted.

"No."

Rin visibly flinched, his arm slightly loosened his grip around Haru.

"N..no? Sorry, I didn’t mean to assume that..."

"No, stupid" Haru's eyes softened. "Just... be with me. I.. I really need you to just be with me. So... skip the dates, okay?"

Rin's head dropped to Haru's shoulder, as he tightly wrapped himself around him, hiding his face. He can really stay with him, for as long as he wanted. He felt the lump in his throat, as tears of relief soaked Haru's shirt, when he barely whispered, "Deal."

Haru was still holding him in his arms, when he suddenly softly chuckled, making Rin raise his head.

"What?"

Haru's hand cupped Rin's cheek, brushing the soft skin.

"Just thought for a second, that maybe, we should thank Hiyori next time we see him."

Rin eyes flashed, when he angrily mumbled under his breath, "Sure, right after I punch him in the face."

Haruka chuckled again, wrapping his arms around Rin's neck and lightly brushing their lips together.

"Deal."

[votederpycausemufins]

The bonus stuff for Rustic House Club! It’s mainly a bonus scene, stuff about the Helsmits and Helscraft, and some screenshots of NPG’s base because i built it (mostly). but there is also something that’s connected to Summoning Family, so people who read that might want to check it out. It’s at the bottom.

(also gonna tag @petrichormeraki​ because of that fact)

Helsmits

Xannes aka Evil Xisuma - not actually a true helsmit, but the admin of the Helscraft server.

NPG - Created by Grian before the Evolution server. He acts as Grian’s hels counterpart.

Grifter aka Hels!Grian - someone even the helsmits themselves fear. Has the powers of a Listener (which are essentially Hels!Watchers) and abuses them. Was trapped in season 4 of helscraft by Prof and has yet to escape.

ProfH192 aka Hels!Doc - Resident good guy of the server who helps out where he can, mostly by stopping Xannes’ schemes. (the H192 is because H for Hels since doc had an M which could stand for Minecraft and 192 because 77 is the atomic number for Iridium and 192.22 is its atomic mass) He’s a pig hybrid instead of a creeper hybrid and also isn’t missing his right arm because he never tried spiting a god like Doc did canonically.

Base Iridium - the Helscraft form of Area 77, Base is a synonym for area, though it starts with B, and we just covered the connection with 77 and Iridium.

Perfect Sense aka Hels!Mumbo - The evil genius of the server who makes advanced redstone machinery that is always more complex than it needs to be. 

Perfect Sense and Grifter as a pair are sometimes called the evil match made in aether. Both of them apart are already bad enough, especially Grifter, but together they are so much worse.

TrueSymmetry aka Hels!False - Won the election for Emperor/Empress, though now she’s been dethroned by Sense.

WaltzWare aka Whiskey aka Hels!Tango - True’s running mate for the election. Instead of a blaze hybrid, he’s a Tempest hybrid (since they don’t have the nether and the aether has a mob called the Tempest). His nickname comes from the fact that while I saw the name WaltzWare and loved it, I also thought of Tango being from the NATO phonetic alphabet and W there is Whiskey. 

DelayVS and Phedaz aka Hels!Impulse and Hels!Zedaph - Phedaz is a name I’ve seen around and I used Delay instead of Indulge like i’ve seen people use because Delay is more of an opposite.

There is no Hels! Team Zit aka PDW or whatever you want to call it. They do not get together like their counterparts and absolutely hate each other.

Helsknight aka Hels!Wels - I don’t have anything to add for him, I’m just including him.

BadtimeswithScar aka Hels!Scar - Ran for Emperor/Empress and lost. Is a warlock who actively works with the Hels!Vex. Running mate was BTripleO1000.

BTripleO1000 aka Trip aka Hels!Bdubs - More O’s and 0’s!!!

Glodhet1085 aka Hels!Iskall - Did you know Iskall means ‘ice cold’ in Swedish? Well now you do! And Glödhet means red hot according to google translate! The 1085 is because in this universe, the 85 on Iskall’s name is because he was a hitman before Hermitcraft and killed 85 people. I don’t think I need to explain further. He either hates Calcite or loves diorite. Maybe both.

LaxSprite aka Hels!Stress - I just did a name based on finding antonyms for the two halves of Stress’ name. Though specifically Sprite is because I was recently listening to Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites.

Other notes: Hels!Jevin is a magma cube. Cub is also working with the Hels!Vex ofc. Peanut is a dog and the hels!counterpart to Jellie. Rendog is probably Rencat and a were cat, or something to do with cats. IDK. When a hermit doesn’t appear for a season, the hels version is killed off. When the same hermit comes back, the hels version also returns. If anyone questions them, they just say ‘I got better!’ and leave it at that.

Helscraft aka Hels!Hermitcraft - The main world of the Hels dimension since it is populated by the hels versions of many influential minecrafters. Technically the Hels dimension should be referred to Helscraft itself, but the Helsmits stole that name and no one dares question them.

The aether replaces the nether and the end is based on the theory that’s sprung up with the introduction of the skulks and wardens that they used to rule the end but now the dragon does. Their end is filled with endermen with green eyes. Skulk instead of shulkers(they spawn in shulkerboxes), and the warden as a boss instead of the end dragon.

The overworld is sort of a mushroomy version of the normal overworld. Grass and its variants are replaced by mycelium and nylium. The trees there are also similar to the giant mushrooms that make up the crimson and warped forests, but they aren’t exactly the same. The oak variant is a sort of lightish pink wood color. Spruce is a blue tinted wood. Birch is bright white, jungle a dark green, acacia is purple, and dark oak is pure black. Water looks blood red, purplish in swamps. All the stone is some variation of deepslate and the other new stones. Deepslate for stone, dripstone blocks for granite, tuff for andesite, and calcite for diorite.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Oh, before you guys go, could I make one request of you Xisuma?” the admin nodded, though a little reluctantly, and then NPG leaned in to whisper to him. 

“There is something, or rather, someone in Hermitcraft that Xannes likes. Like, like likes. Maybe you could make it so he can visit, but only when I am with him?”

X listened, and then started nodding. “I believe that can be done, as long as you promise that he won’t cause too much destruction.”

“Well, I would also suggest allowing Prof too, but one of us has to stay to make sure that there’s something to come home to, especially with Sense being emperor now.”

“He’s wHAT?!” Xannes yelled, putting his helmet on. “Oh bloody fucking hell. How did he manage that.”

“Hey Xisuma! How about we leave now!” Grian quickly said, leaving both admins confused for a moment before they understood.

“I believe we can Grian.”

“Oh no! Don’t you dare leave with them! I swear if Sense ends up-”

NPG cut Xannes off. “Bye guys! I hope to talk to some of you soon!”

“Bye NPG!” Jrum waved, and then Xisuma took them back to Hermitcraft.

“So, what did you ask my brother?” Xannes asked NPG, who smiled.

“I made it so you can get to Hermitcraft, though it has a condition. I need to be with you so you don’t break anything.”

“That’s fucking stupid. Why would I want to go to Hermitcraft and not destroy stuff?”

“Because you have told Prof an I about your crush and it is obvious you really like him based on what seems to be a shrine in your closet to him.”

Xannes was glad his helmet hid his blush. “Uh, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m… I’mgonnagodealwithSensenowbye!” and the admin rushed out of the room, leaving NPG behind.

~~~~~~~~~~~

NPG’s House

~~~~~~~~~~~

For the readers of Summoning Family:

“You can’t just get rid of me! I am the emperor of this world!” Sense shouted as he held up a death ray. “Meanwhile you have nothing!”

He was given no verbal response from the person in front of him, but they did pull out an axe.

“Okay fine, you have some baseline weapons. You think I care?! I don’t. I’m just trying to figure out why someone like you would team up with an idiot like him.” Sense gestured to where NPG was standing.

“Well I’m the one who told them about the whole emperor thing, so they asked me to be their running mate!”

“They don’t need a bloody fucking running mate. They aren’t running for the throne, they’re trying to usurp me!” Sense glared at NPG, giving the other person a chance. Before Sense could raise his death ray again, the axe was swung and the blade hit. Then before Sense could even scream, shackles were placed on his wrists and ankles. Chains linking the shackles to their pair on the opposite limb. The person then removed everything on Sense’s person other than his clothes which at this point were stained red.

Sense was forced to his feet, nearly falling over again immediately as the chains were yanked. The person gave a signal to NPG who gave a quick ‘okay!’ and then they were leaving, dragging Sense behind them, taking him to who knows where.

[katehuntington]

Title: Black Dog - part three Word count: ±2700 words Episode summary: When Sam gets an anonymous phone call with information about his father, Dean receives a text message with coordinates to different location. The brothers clash and split up, one following orders, the other   trusting his instincts. Meanwhile, in the wilderness of Cascade Range, Washington State, Zoë loses grip on a personal case and is forced to confront her demons. Without back up, this might very well turn out to be her final hunt. Part three summary: Two leads point into different directions. Which one are the Winchester brothers going to follow? Episode warnings: Dark! NSFW, 18+ only! Angst, gore, violence, character death. Description of blood, injury and  medical procedures. Supernatural creatures/entities, mentions of demon possession. Swearing, smoking, weaponry. Descriptions of  torture and murder. Illegal/criminal practices. Mentions of nightmares and flashbacks. Descriptions of suicidal thoughts and tendencies, depression, panic attacks, hallucinations. Author’s note: Beta’d by @winchest09​​​ & @deanwanddamons​​​​. Thanks, girls!

Supernatural: The Sullivan Series Masterlist

S1E03 “Black Dog” Masterlist

     Dean gives his Chevrolet Impala a final clean up and looks at the end result.      Ronny nods satisfied, too. “Good as new.”      They mechanics carefully beat out the small dent in the lid and restored the paint with a polisher. The lock of the trunk took some time to replace, but now it closes perfectly. 

     “Thanks, man,” Dean says gratefully, offering him some money for the work.      “Any time. Put that away. I owe you Winchesters more than that,” Ronny reminds him. “Sure you guys don’t want a beer?”      Dean hesitates, but then shakes his head. “I’d love to catch up, but we should get going. The world isn’t rid of all evil motherfuckers just yet.”      Ronny chuckles at that. “Fair enough. Good to see you again, though.”      “You too. Take care, Ron,” the oldest Winchester brother returns.

     The ex-hunter retreats back into his garage, and Dean glances at the trunk for the second time and smiles satisfied. He’s glad he got it fixed. The clunking sound every time they hit a pothole was driving him crazy, and with enough arsenal for a small military operation inside, he wasn’t really keen on leaving it unlocked either. 

     As he takes a look around the abandoned street, he realizes he’s missing the tall individual that usually occupies the passenger’s seat. Where the hell did Sam go? Instinctively, Dean scans the area, uneasiness evident in his stomach, a sensation which arises ever since he was a kid, whenever he loses sight of his little brother. Then he spots him a bit further down the road. He’s on the phone with someone, and for a second he wonders if it’s Zoë he’s having a conversation with.

     Waiting for his brother to return, he leans against his car, shoving his hands in his pockets. The sun feels nice and warm on his back as it burns away the coolness of the night. Now that he has nothing to do for a moment, his thoughts sneak off. He doesn’t like it one bit, but he can’t help but think of the huntress they crossed paths with a little under a week ago. He may pretend that he doesn’t give a shit, but he has to admit that she has been on his mind more than a couple of times. Not that he likes her, fuck no, but Sullivan left an impression that has him wondering. She has been through more in the twenty-five years that she has walked this earth than most endure in an entire lifetime. Maybe that is why he deep down cares; he can relate to her.

     Dean exhales, not dwelling too long on the reason behind the intrigue. Instead, he wonders if Sam’s presumption is actually true. The fierce Zoë Sullivan being in deep shit; he can barely picture it. She always seems in control, even when things don't go as planned. She caught him off guard. He, Dean Winchester, can you fuckin’ believe that? The older Winchester sibling rolls his harmed shoulder, testing its mobility. She shot me, for fuck’s sake. 

     Even though he has been in the field longer than she has, Zoë seems to expertly know her way around the world of monsters that is their reality. She’s a bright girl, skilled, fast, fearless. She has every aspect of a perfect hunter. But after those last words back in Paragould, he was left with the impression that the battle she was going towards, is one she didn’t expect to win. It truly felt like a final goodbye. A disturbing question pops up in his head; did he make a mistake not going after her? The two guys they saved from a werewolf in Waco probably don’t think so. 

     Dean stares ahead, pulling at his bottom lip with his teeth while contemplating his choices. Maybe they should go after her anyway, see if they can pick up her trail. North is indeed a big place, but then again, a hot chick on a Harley Davidson would stand out. It’s a long shot, but if they play this right, they may be able to find her. 

     The matter escapes his mind when he feels his phone vibrating, the buzzing device startling him slightly. Somewhat annoyed by his own reflex, the hunter takes his Motorola and notices the small icon of an envelope in the right upper corner; he has received a text message. It’s probably Erin, his hook up back in Waco, who had to wake up alone this morning. She must be wondering where the man she met in a bar three days prior has gone. But when Dean opens his inbox, his eyes widen in shock. 

     At the top of the list of incoming messages, it says ‘Dad’.

     Dean’s heart has picked up speed, now pounding twice as fast than it was seconds ago. Last time he checked, his father’s phone was inactive, and now there’s a message coming in from that number? Different scenarios flash through his mind, not sure if he should prepare for good or bad news. With shaky fingers, he opens the text.

     Job: 48°13’11.00”N 121°41’4045”W

     Dean exhales, still staring at his cell. He can’t fucking believe it. John disappeared from the face of the earth, nowhere to be found, and after all this time he sent a few numbers and letters. The older Winchester brother huffs out a laugh. It doesn’t matter, though. Relief frees Dean from the crippling worry that he has tried to stuff down for over a month now, but kept him up at night nonetheless. This text confirms what he’s been hoping for; Dad is alive.

     Thrilled, Dean turns around and glances down the street, noticing Sam, who hastens towards the car. He can’t wait to share the news, knowing they have both been so desperate for a breakthrough. 

     “We’ve gotta go,” they both say at the same time.      “Me first,” Dean demands, childish.      “What are you? Seven?” Sam huffs, raising an eyebrow to match with the sass. Despite his accusation, he counters in the same manner. “What I’ve just heard is bigger.”      “Bigger than this?” Dean brags while flashing a grin, victoriously handing his brother the Motorola.

     Curiosity wins and Sam takes it, attentively reading the message. His eyes narrow, but then his jaw falls open when he realizes who the sender is. John’s youngest son isn’t impressed, though. In fact, what shows on the display infuriates him. 

     “That’s it?” he scoffs, agitated, giving the phone back to his brother. “After a month of silence, that’s what he gives us?”      “Sam, don’t you realize what this means? He’s okay!” Dean brings to mind. “Don’t bitch about this.”      “Just because he’s able to send us a text message, doesn’t mean that he’s okay. We’re not even sure it’s him!” Sam returns bitterly.      “Oh, come on. This is so Dad. One word and coordinates, that’s straight up Marine Corps right there. It’s more convincing than his fuckin’ signature,” the older brother argues.

     “And what the hell are we supposed to do with this? Trust him blindly and do a job he can’t find the time for because he’s hunting whatever the thing is that killed Mom?” Sam assumes, his arms flying up before he lets them come down to his sides again.      “Exactly,” Dean states, matter of factly. “Don’t you see, Sam? This is what I’ve been telling you. He doesn’t want to be found, he wants us to hunt.”

     Dean opens the passenger side door and rummages in the dashboard locker. When he straightens his back, he pulls out a brown notebook; it’s John’s journal.      “This book. This is dad’s single most valuable possession. Everything he knows about every evil thing is in here. He could’ve taken it with him, but he didn’t. He’s passed it on to us.” Dean looks deep into his brother's eyes while he points at the leather bound book that is the representation of the Bible to the Winchesters. “Dad’s journal, the text... Dad is telling us he wants us to do what we were trained for.”

     “You know what I want? I want to find him,” Sam returns determined, handing back the phone.      “And how the fuck were you planning to achieve that, huh?” Dean returns.      “I don’t need a plan, I already know where he is,” the younger brother states.

     Puzzled, Dean stares at him, waiting for an explanation. There has been zero contact between their old man and Sam for years,  and now all of a sudden he has figured out where John is at?      “How?” he questions, suspicion rising.      “I just received a call. He’s in Tennessee. In Nashville to be precise,” his sibling states.      Dean frowns. “A call? From who?”

     The shrug of Sam’s shoulders is nonchalant. “I think she might be a hunter or something.”      “She? Does this mystery lady have a name?” Dean questions further, trying to get details while frustration bubbles in his chest, triggered by his brother’s short answers.      “She didn’t give it, but it doesn’t matter. We’re going to Tennessee,” Sam decides.

     Dean laughs out loud, dropping the journal on the passenger’s seat before he turns away. Then he returns to glare at Sam as if he just made a joke.      “You wanna go to fucking Nashville based on an anonymous call? Did the sun fry your brain or something? This could be a fucking trap, Sam!” Dean shouts, indignant.      But his sibling is determined. “I don’t care. If he’s there, I’m going.” 

     Dean steps closer and halts right in front of him. He has to look up to stare into the eyes of his taller brother, but that doesn’t make him any less intimidating. 

     “Dad has given us an order,” he growls, his words spoken in a low tone.      “I said: I. don’t. care,” Sam battles him.      “Well I do, you stubborn dumbass!” Dean counters with a raised voice. “What you are planning to do is fucking dangerous! Dad doesn’t want you on his tail, you’ll blow his cover!”

     “You’re calling me a dumbass?! Dad is after an incredibly powerful monster by himself, alone! He’s the dumbass for not accepting our help! We already lost Mom, I lost Jess, I’m not going to lose him too. I want answers, I want a piece of that son of a bitch that ruined our lives and I want it right fucking now! If Dad doesn’t want me there, that’s his problem!” Sam shouts angrily.

     “You’re going against him?” Dean isn’t impressed with the outbreak, and slightly shakes his head. “Oh right, I forgot. That’s what you always do; the exact opposite of what he asks!”  he continues cynically.      “He doesn’t ask. He orders,” his brother corrects. “And you follow those orders like a fucking lapdog.”      “It doesn’t matter how he tells us what to do, Sam! He’s our God damn father, so you better suck it up and fucking LISTEN!!!”

     Dean is sure one of Ronny’s neighbors is going to emerge from one of the houses, telling them to shut up and take this argument elsewhere, instead of fighting it out in the middle of the street. He doesn’t care, however. His little brother has forgotten his place, and he needs to set him straight.

     “I do whatever the hell he tells me to do because I trust him, because I respect him, which is something I’m gonna strongly advise you to do as well, because your attitude fucking stinks,” Dean lectures, his moss green eyes penetrating, fire burning in his irises. “Now get in the fucking car, because we’re going to drive to wherever those coordinates lead us to.”

     Puffing his chest while straightening his back to make himself seem even taller, Sam crosses his arms. His older sibling might think he has all the authority, but he’s not a little kid anymore who he can boss around. Those days are long gone. He thought his departure to Stanford taught Dean a lesson or two, but apparently he needs to remind his brother that he plays by his own rules, and no one else's.      “I’m not going with you,” he decides, standing his ground.

     For a moment, Dean just stares at him, giving him a second to reconsider that conclusion, but Sam doesn’t even blink. Their gazes battle, the air between them almost too thick to breathe, rivalry carving a deep canyon between the two.      “I’m gonna give you a choice,” Dean snarls. “You can come with me and solve that case, or you can go fuck yourself.”

     Sam gulps, but stands his ground. His facial expression doesn’t change as he steps back, away from his brother, and heads over to the back of the Impala without breaking eye contact, until he opens the trunk to grab his duffel. The glare Dean receives when he slams the lid closed says enough; he’s not coming along for the ride. 

     Stunned, Dean stares at him and huffs in disbelief. Un-fucking-believable. He has always known Sam was stubborn, but now he takes the cake. Disappointed, the older brother shakes his head. This is the second time Sam has chosen a different path and leaves him without even batting an eye, but it scares Dean just as much as when he left and went to college. He’s not alright with what he’s about to do, but he can’t give in. He has to listen to his father.      Frustratingly, he pulls open the door of the Impala. “Goodbye, Sam.”

     Trying to hide his unpleasant surprise, the man left in the road watches him. He didn’t expect this, Dean taking off without him, but then again, how could he not expect a soldier to follow orders from his general? It doesn’t change anything, though. He is dead set on investigating this lead and finding his father.

     The man who is about to put a distance between himself and the one person he swore to never part with again, glances in the rearview mirror. He wishes he hadn’t, because the coldness in Sam’s hazel eyes seems foreign, yet familiar. As Dean starts the engine, he realizes he is either having a major deja-vu, or is reliving one of the worst days of his life. Despite the painful pressure that’s building in his chest and the panic that floods his brain, he lowers his right foot on the gas pedal, and the car rolls away. He doesn’t drive off as fast as he normally would, because he’s fighting the urge to turn around. Pained, he glances in his mirror again.      “C’mon, Sam. Move,” he begs.

     But Sam doesn’t even lift a finger, and he remains in the exact same spot. Then he does move, but not in the way Dean hoped. His little brother turns his back on him and heads towards downtown Hillsboro, in the opposite direction.

With a deep sigh, Dean shakes his head, clamping his left hand around the wheel until his knuckles turn white.       “Stubborn bastard,” he sighs.

     His jaw clenches, as West Elm Street flows over in Route 22 and the landscape around him changes. Small homes and sheds make room for stretched out farmlands. But he doesn’t notice the scenery. His conscience is fighting his heart. He wants to hit the brakes and pull the car into a 180° so badly, but he has to listen to his father. Never in his life has Dean done anything else than that, disobedience not being a word one could find in his dictionary. Yet in this situation, both of the options are pitfalls. It doesn’t matter which way he goes, he will make a mistake either way. Because the one line that his father drilled in his mind over and over again keeps haunting him. 

     Take care of Sammy. 

     He grinds his teeth, but continues to drive further and further away, his upbringing leaving him no choice. The hunter has made his decision; he’s going to find the location of those coordinates and do the job his Dad has given him. He knows what he’s doing, he’s just hoping Sam does too, because if something happens to his little brother, Dean knows he will never be able to forgive himself.

Well, shit. The boys have gone separate ways. Who do you think will find what he’s looking for?

Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate every single one of you, but if you  do want to give me some extra love, you are free to reblog my work or  buy me coffee (Link in bio at the top of the page)

Read part four here

[lakesandquarries]

ghost in your house (ghost in your arms)

Summary: Benrey's been living with Gordon after the events of Black Mesa, but he's starting the think it'd be better if he wasn't. Gordon doesn't agree.

title and inspiration from “ghosting” by mother mother.

AO3 Link 

It’s early when Gordon wakes up. Or late, depending on how you look at it. The sky outside is dark, with a faint glow that means the sun is about to rise, and when he looks at his alarm clock it says 6:31 AM.

If he really wanted, he could go back to sleep. But Benrey had been acting weird last night, and Gordon’s a little...concerned. Not his usual weird, either. He’d been all...jumpy, distracted, quiet. He’d barely spoken to Gordon, hadn’t eaten, didn’t even seem interested in the Mario game he was playing. Gordon had watched him fail the same stage 4 times in a row.

He’s not worried about them. It’s just, when your roommate is some kind of eldritch horror, you gotta pay attention when they seem off.

Gordon stumbles out of his room with eyes still bleary, glasses clutched in one hand, and almost walks straight into Benrey. “You’re up early,” he says, rubbing his eyes until his vision comes into focus. Benrey looks slightly dazed, standing in the middle of the living room with...hold on.

“Is that my backpack?”

“Uhhhhhhhh,” they say. “Nope.”

“Don’t fuckin lie to me, man, that’s mine. What’re you doing with it?”

Benrey just keeps staring. Their pupils are huge in the dim lighting, round like a cats. Gordon squints his eyes at them, folding his arms. Finally, they say, “I was just gonna leave.”

Oh, goddamnit. “Dude, it’s 6 am. Where exactly are you planning on going?”

“Uh. Y’know. Out.”

“I don’t know, actually,” Gordon says. He’s trying his best to keep his tone even, but he can’t help the bit of anger that slips out. What the fuck is Benrey playing at here?

Benrey sings a bubble of pale gray Sweet Voice, followed by an assortment of clear. Fuck, Gordon wishes he knew what that meant. He’ll have to ask Tommy later. Benrey is still quiet otherwise, and Gordon sighs. “Benrey,” he says, gentler. “What’s going on?”

Benrey huffs, looking away and adjusting his hat. “’m sick of waiting,” they mumble, barely intelligible.

“W - Waiting for what? ”

The perpetual shadow over his eyes seems to get darker, somehow. “Y’know,” they say again, and this time Gordon explodes.

“I don’t! I don’t know fucking anything because you won’t talk to me! All you do is sit around playing video games and being fucking cryptic and now you’re trying to sneak out at 6 in the goddamn morning!”  His fists have found their way into his hair, gripping tightly.

More of those clear bubbles slip out, then black to a dark red. “I’m n - I’m not supposed to be here,” Benrey says, voice flat. “I’m - you killed me.”

Gordon winces at the reminder. “Yeah, well, you got my arm chopped off, so -”

“‘m not mad,” they add quickly. “‘s just how things had to go. But, uh, I’m not….” he trails off, making an obnoxious lip smacking noise. “I don’t have my passport for this area.”

Gordon sighs. “Since when do you care?”

“Mmb,” Benrey says. “Uhhhh.” More of the red bubbles. “Why’re you so mad about this?”

“Why am I mad about you trying to leave in the middle of the night?”

“Yeah. I thought you, uh, hated me and everything.”

“I -” Gordon sighs, rubbing his temples. Yelling’s not gonna help here, if he wants to understand what the hell is happening. He forces his voice to sound calm, or at least as calm as he can manage. “It’s more complicated than that, man.” Honestly, he doesn’t hate Benrey as much as he used to. He doesn’t like him, but….he’s not the worst roommate, and he’s a lot less antagonistic now. “I mean, we’ve never even talked about….everything.”

“I got your arm chopped off,” Benrey says.

“Yeah, and I’m still pissed about that. But you haven’t done anything like that here .”

“Sooo can I go now?”

“What? No!” God he’s exhausting to talk to. “Why do you wanna leave?”

He smacks his lips again, looking at the floor. “‘s easier than waiting to get kicked out,” they say.

Gordon rubs his temples again. “I’m not gonna kick you out -”

Benrey looks up at him, eyes narrowed. “You - I - you’re the, the main character. I’m the uh….the bad guy. Duh,” and then he starts humming what Gordon thinks is supposed to be Bad Guy by Billie Eilish. “Right? You beat me. Kill the bad guy, win the game. But now, uh….shit’s all fuck. Bad guy respawned.” He shoots Gordon a wry, tired smile. “So, game’s not over, right? Game, uh….new stage. But you, you’re still the good guy. Fucking, little plumber man Mario. Princess is in another castle, gotta beat Bowser again. Just cause it’s a new stage doesn’t mean Mario and Bowser are gonna be bros. Right?”

He’s about to yell at Benrey for not making any sense when it clicks. “Are - do you think I’m gonna try to kill you again?”

Benrey shrugs, looking away, pulling his hat down over his face.

“Benrey,” Gordon says, trying his best to sound gentle. “I’m not - I only killed you cause you were trying to kill me!”

“I wasn’t actually gonna do it,” Benrey mutters. He shoves his hands in his pockets, hunching over.

“Then why the hell were you shooting at me!” Gordon yells, nearly hitting himself with his wild gesturing.

Benrey lets out a snort, almost a laugh but too….tired. Almost sad, if that’s an emotion Benrey can actually feel. “Game’s gotta have a villain,” he says.

“Stop being fucking cryptic and just say what you mean for once,” Gordon demands. “You were trying to kill me. You got my arm cut off. Why?”

Benrey sighs. “Game’s gotta have a villain,” he repeats. “Doesn’t matter if...if Bowser wants to fuckin, uh, become a chef or something. He’s gotta kidnap the princess. Even if he spends the whole game hanging out with Mario, he’s still….he’s still the bad guy.”

It’s not really any more comprehensible, but, well, that's Benrey. Gordon doesn’t think it’s physically possible for him to be straightforward. The meaning is clear enough, anyway.

“”So you...didn’t wanna be the villain?”

They shrug, trying so hard to seem casual and uncaring, but their expression gives it away. There’s a glint in their eyes, a spark that’s usually missing.

“So then what was with everything else? If you didnt wanna be the villain why were you such an asshole the whole time?”

“Thought it’d be easier.” Their shoulders tense up, eyes softening. Maybe sad is an emotion Benrey feels. Maybe Gordon’s been wrong all this time. “Be hard to kill someone you like, right? You’d do something stupid.”

“So, what, you got my arm cut off so I’d be mad at you? I was pissed before that.”

“I didn’t think they were gonna fuck you up that bad. And it wasn’t - it wasn’t s’pposed to be real. ” Yellow eyes dart around, looking at anything but Gordon.

“The fuck does that mean?”

“It was just a game. It wasn’t real. You’re just, you were just some dude playing a video game, right? When Mario gets punched it’s like, whatever. The guy playing doesn’t care. If he gets punched enough though maybe he’ll just like....give up. Bowser gets to, uh, release the princess and go fuck around. I didn’t....'s supposed to just be a game over when Mario gets beat up. Load save.”

“And what about the boss shit at the end? Where you were, y’know, trying to kill me?”

A flicker of emotion flashes over Benrey’s face, before he goes back to his usual deadpan stare. “Uhhhhhh. Bow -”

Gordon shakes his head, “No, no more of that fucking Mario metaphor. Just - can you just talk like a normal person for five minutes?”

“Nah.”

Gordon wants to tear his hair out. He pinches his nose, taking a deep breath, and then another, until he feels like he can speak without trying to beat the shit out of Benrey. “Just. Answer the question. Why did you try to kill me?”

“I don’t remember?”

“Are you fucking with me right now?”

“No!” Benrey says, something close to offense in his voice, like he's actually hurt Gordon doesn’t believe him, but then he drops right back into that tired tone he usually has. “It was all...fuzzy. TV static, but like, in my head? And nothing, uh, nothing was like….real. I just….” he shrugs, picking at his nails. “‘I’m just vibing, bro.” Gordon takes another deep breath, cleaning his fists and preparing to say something, but Benrey presses on. “I tried to turn back. Before we went in, I told you, we had to go back. You didn’t listen.”

“Of course I didn’t listen!” He throws his arms up in the air in sheer exasperation. “You’d been saying nothing but bullshit up until then! How do I know this isn’t more bullshit, huh? How do I know you’re not just - trying to get me to let my guard down, so you can actually kill me?”

Benrey makes a low noise, accompanied by a handful of brownish-blue bubbles. “‘m not,” he mutters. “I didn’t - I don’t wanna be bad.” The shadow over his eyes is black now, the yellow of his eyes unsettlingly dim.

“Then why not fucking say something? ”

“Couldn’t.”

Gordon raises an eyebrow. “And why’s that?”

“It’s like - uh -” They smack their lips again. “Like a fucking, uh, dam. The thing beavers make. Beaver can’t get through.”

At least he’s dropped the Mario metaphor. “Okay. So. Let me recap. You….didn’t want to be the villain, you were trying to get me to...quit? And when that didn’t work, you intentionally pissed me off so I’d kill you at the end ‘cause you couldn’t actually say what was going on.”

“Basically, yeah.”

Well, fuck. When Gordon says it out loud like that it’s….actually kinda sad.

No. No! He’s not gonna start feeling bad for fucking Benrey of all people. Gordon balls his fists, pushing down every stupidly sympathetic emotion he’s having. “Okay. Let’s backtrack a bit. Why are you telling me all this?”

Benrey shrugs. “Got tired of waiting for you to kill me.”

“I already said, I’m not -”

Benrey glitches. His face disappears for a second, replaced by a cracked and decayed skull, and then suddenly he’s normal again. A shriek tears its way out of Gordon as he backs away from them, almost slamming into the wall. For a second he’s back in Xen, watching Benrey’s massive form glitch and deform, and then he shakes his head and reminds himself that he’s in his apartment and Benrey is at least the size of a human being. “What the hell was that?”

“How come you don’t believe me but I’m supposed to believe you? Huh? Gordon got trust issues? Gordon skeptic man?”

“I think I’ve got more than enough reasons to have fucking trust issues, man!” He’s still pressed against the wall, hands curling into fists.

“But Benrey’s gotta trust you. Benrey’s not allowed to be scared.”

“Are you saying you’re fucking afraid of me? ”

Benrey’s Sweet Voice is high pitched and vaguely dark, like a bubble made of shadows. Gordon can’t translate, but it feels like a yes.

“You know what? I think I’m okay with that.” Gordon peels himself off the wall, stepping closer to Benrey, holding out his prosthetic hand. “Now you get how I felt the entire fucking time we were in Black Mesa.”

The bubbles get darker, a deep, almost dripping black. “‘m sorry,” Benrey mumbles.

Gordon blinks. “What?”

They repeat themself, louder this time. “I’m sorry. For. Uh. Everything?”

The only thing Gordon can think to say is, “What the fuck?”

“I’m tryna be nice!” Benrey says. He’s pouting . Like a little kid or some shit. “It’s called an apology , bro.”

“I know what a fucking apology is! I just wasn’t expecting one from you , of all people!”

“I don’t wanna be bad,” Benrey says quietly. “Can I go now?”

“What?” Fuck, with everything else they’ve been...arguing about, Gordon forgot this whole thing started because Benrey was trying to leave. “No!”

Benrey opens his mouth, looking like he’s about to say something, but all that comes out is Sweet Voice. A lot of Sweet Voice. Black to red, gray to clear, dripping black, translucent dark, swirling around him until Gordon can’t even see Benrey under all the bubbles. When they fade...Benrey’s still standing there, and he’s crying.

Gordon’s never seen him cry before.

“I don’t wanna be bad,” Benrey says again. “This was supposed to be my chance to be not bad.” They scrub at their eyes, turning away from Gordon. “This - this is sucks.”

Fuck.

He doesn’t want to feel bad. He doesn’t want to feel sympathetic. Benrey spent the entire time they were in Black Mesa trying to fuck with Gordon, and a few tears don’t erase that.

But.

“I believe you,” Gordon says. Benrey turns back around.

“Whu?”

“I believe you,” Gordon says again. “That you didn’t wanna...do everything that you did.” He pauses, closing his eyes for a second. “And - I’m sorry too.”

Benrey stares. Does not blink. Continues to not blink as the silence drags on, until Gordon feels like he has to say something else.

“I kinda...assumed you were a piece of shit from the beginning. Didn’t really give you a chance, I guess. So. I’m sorry for all of that, and for the whole, killing you thing.”

“You don’t gotta apologize for that,” Benrey mumbles. He’s still not blinking, eyes wide. “Uh. Thanks.”

“And - if you really wanna leave….” Gordon sighs. He still doesn’t trust Benrey, not in the way he trusts Tommy and Dr Coomer and even Bubby. But. “I’m not gonna stop you.”

“If I stay are you gonna….be less mad? Less Gordon Angy Momence?”

“I’ll - I’ll try.”

“I, uh. I think I’ll stay.”

“I’m gonna -” Fuck, he’d been planning on getting up before this. He’d been all ready to start his day. Yeah, fuck that. “I’m gonna go back to sleep.”

“Gordon sleepman,” Benrey says, nodding his head. He taps his fingers together. “Hey,” he says, holding his hands up. “You wanna. Uh. Hug?”

He’s not even gonna try to understand what’s happening now. “You know what? Sure.” He steps forward and lets Benrey wrap his arms around him, and after a moment, wraps his around them. It’s….not entirely unpleasant. Benrey is a good bit shorter than Gordon, so with them leaning in against his chest he ends up with his head perched on theirs, hat scratching his chin a bit. Benrey’s arms are thick and strong, and the way he’s holding Gordon should be terrifying but somehow it’s not.

He steps back after a minute, scrubbing at his face again. “Cool. Uh. Poggers,” Benrey says, and Gordon rolls his eyes but he’s smiling a little despite himself.

“Good - well, it’s not night anymore, but. You get the idea. I’m gonna go pass out.”

“Cool,” Benrey says again.

Gordon stumbles back into his room, collapsing into bed. It’s the most peaceful sleep he’s had in a month.

(Sweet Voice Translation notes: gray to clear: i shouldn’t be here black to red: i should be dead dirty blue: i don’t wanna hurt you dark like the shade: i’m afraid black and tarry: i’m sorry)

[mochuelovelli]

ASOUE AU? ASOUE AU. Pt 1 (Characters)

Okay so I just posted a little doodle I did for an A Series of Unfortunate Events AU that I had been thinking about ever since I realized that Esmé was obviously Magica's VA (which was 3 days ago so oop). I don't have all the characters figured out right now (mostly bc quite frankly there aren't really enough adults that act so... neglectful towards the kids in ducktales). I'll list the ones I am pretty concrete on VS the ones I'm unsure or ones that I "reimagined" due to not everyone fitting perfectly in this world.

Characters that are Definite:

Glomgold as Count Olaf: Think about it, horrible actor/cosplayer (yes thats what he is). Both obsessed about riches, revenge and are generally incompetent. Really, Olaf is much more wicked in the ASOUE series imo (bc even tho Glomgold wants to kill Scrooge and steal his money. This anger only extends his wards if he wishes to use them against Scrooge and is less keen on the murdering of kids. Notice I said LESS). Not 100% if I want him to be as...well explicit as Olaf can be at times. Especially his characterization in the Bad Beginning if you know what I mean (pst it's child marriage)

Magicia DeSpell as Esmé Squalor: Like I said, this is a no brainer. She has the stage performance of Magicia with a bit of Mark Beaks Mom (forget her name) mixed in. Probably would downplay her love for fashion and replace it with an obsession with the occult. I would also not have her be obsessed with Glomgold, its more in character for Glomgold to be obsessed with her anyhow. It is also possible bc I tend to believe she is a more compelling villian in canon that she might take the place of Glomgold on the Island in "The End". But I also plan for Scrooges Number One Dime to replace the Sugar bowl so, maybe not.

Doofus Drake as Calmanita Splats: Duh, spoiled brat who is very creepy and probably has parents that want them dead? Instead of wanting to sing all the time he mainly wants to wreak things/people. He still definitely dresses up tho into a hodgepodge of things. It always changes and Glomgold is always annoyed by this but he likes him more than Magicia. She definitely wants him dead just like Olaf in the series (she really hates kids).

Duckworth as Larry your waiter: Yeah not much competition for this role. It was either him or Launchpad. Duckworth is too perfect for this role and he honestly will play a better spy than canon Larry. If I ever write it out a lot of the "fight scenes" and anime-esque "explaining how I fooled you" dialogue will definitely be reworked but still present. I will however not keep out the main theme of neglect or ignorance with the adults, they will still fail in that regard as always but will just not literally stand there and tell Olaf "We finally caught you, now let me explain why we are so smart oh no you set something on fire again". I mean...maybe for a Mr. Poe but not the VFD. Or...SHUSH I should say but more on that later (or in another post who knows?)

Scrooge McDuck as Lemony Snicket (sorta): Okay so OBVIOUSLY we can't have our "Lemony" have the hots for the McDuck siblings mom (yes another thing I must explain oh boy). Scrooge will still be gilted in love by, of course Goldie though I am still not 100% if she should play part of the the role of Kit Snicket (again NOT related to Scrooge) or should she be someone else entirely. Scrooge is basically the reason everything is happening in this AU just like the canon Lemony but writes sad letters to Donald and Della as well as Goldie. As you might of well guessed, Scrooge's Fortune is also the riches the McDuck's have.

Fethry Duck as Dr. Monty: Of course a snake lover will become a marine lover in this AU! Also of COURSE Mitzy will play the roles of the incredibly deadly viper AND the great unknown! Fethry and Dr. Monty not being mentioned by their family but also too enthralled with their studies to care all that much (but seriously thats fucked up ducktales). Totally made for this role. As far as setting goes this will be where the siblings will be underwater first but since the series already has plently of aquatic locals I will probably swap out the Lake Lacamose story with Peru or the Galapagos. Speaking of...

Ms. Quackfaster as Aunt Josephine: For narrative purposes it would make sense that Ms. Quackfaster would lose her edge as a brave and bold woman. For what exact reason I am still trying to figure out. Not sure if I still want to keep the "Ike" storyline, maybe she just got really spooked by FOWL. Maybe some creature from the Galapagos ate her leg or something.

Ma Beagle as Dr. Orwell: This particular role was sort of hard for me to cast due to the fact that Dr. Orwell is older and romantically involved with Olaf (at least its sorta there). I really didn't want to give this role to Owlson bc other than she isn't a bad person, she is also way too young. Ma Beagle already has a similar motivation im canon to want to reclaim Duckburg as Beagleburg so the Terrible Mills plot to frame the B for causing a fire in order to have control over the mill is very in line with Ma. I originally wanted the Beagle Boys be working in the Mill but since I am changing the setting to Egypt, I decided to use the people stuck in the pyrimid (idk what they are actually called) and will either use Amulet, Launchpad or Dijin as Cookie

Characters that are Mixed with others:

Huey Duck as the Narrative Role of Violet B.: I mostly imagined(?) the kid characters in a approximation of set characters from the books/series. For this reason, Huey plays the ROLE of Violet Baudelaire so that he can take the "inventor" occupation. I went back and forth on finding who would have Violet's quirk of using an object to help her think. My mind originally went to Webby since she has a bow and I wanted Huey's obsession with the Incomplete History of Secret Organizations to take the place of his JWG. However I reworked it so that Huey's JWG would act as Violet's ribbon with him having to flip through his beat up (and slightly burnt) journal to find a quick solution or just to calm his nerves. Something that applies to all the triplets and twins is that their last names are changed to "McDuck" mostly bc it sounds better that they are later called the "McDuck Murders" instead of the "Duck Murders" as well as Scrooges edited role in the kids lives. He has a mix of Klaus' social awkwardness and habit of talking at length about his special interests to whoever will listen. Huey is also the one who gets hypnotized in the Miserable Mill ep.

Louie Duck as the Narrative Role of Sunny B.: Pretty sure I swapped Louie and Webby for this role in my first post but whatever. I wanted to confusingly change Klaus' role into a "Charmer" or "smooth talker" (obviously still a work in progress) since I felt that Huey in DuckTales canon was always well researched as well a good mechanic and having two characters who pretty much fit the same role was... redundant. I also wanted to really make Webby's Sunny much more inline with her notorious/abnormal fighting abilities. However, I realized that instead of changing Klaus' role I should just change Sunny's characterization since I would have to rework it anyways since she was a baby. I also got the idea from recently rewatching the series and saw Sunny basically trick her way out of being trapped with the Hook handed man (i.e. Fernald). I will instead make Louie's role as what he functionally is in DuckTales (the guy who can talk his way out of anything). He would probably also say his occupation is "Defense Attorney" or something along those lines. He is also the one who gets captured the most but not by much. However while he still has Sunny's sarcasm, he also has Klaus' inherit skeptism and distrust of adults.

Webby Vanderquack as the Narrative Role of Klaus B.: Like I said in Louie's segment, Webby is changed to Klaus or more accurately the "Researcher" of the group. She is often the one who stays up late, researching ways to get out of Glomgold's schemes. Unlike Klaus though, she has more of the optimism of Violet but might not put as much belief into all authority as Huey might. She still has role models that she looks up to but isn't against bending the rules. She also unfortunately takes Violet's role of becoming "Olaf's bride" in the Bad Beginning. In the story she has always lived with the McDucks but didn't take their name and still had Mrs. B (until she was around 10, she was 12ish when the fire happened). However, she is still in the McDuck Will and therefore Glomgold hatches a plan to use her to get the fortune. She also tricks him by signing her name "Vanderduck" or "McDuck" instead of Vanderquack to make the marriage null in void. She is also a mix of Sunny since she is generally the most physically capable out of the children.

Dewey Duck as the Narrative Role as Quigley Quagmire: Okay honestly after a rewatch, I don't exactly know what makes Duncan and Quigley that different from each other. I'm pretty sure Duncan is the Klaus of his siblings but whatever. Dewey mostly just 1/2 of the reveal that two people survived the fire during the Carnival segment (which is changed to an underground wrestling theme for reasons to be explained). I am fairly certain that during the last part of the Village of Fowl Devotees I want Dewey be the one left behind with Webby and Lena that way we can have more time spent with him and Weblena/ Magicia v Lena drama. Dewey's occupation would be "Comedian/Host/Actor" . He also is the one the adults ignore during the first half and will be the subject of Triplet/only child jokes that the Quagmires face.

Gosalyn Mallard as the Narrative Role of Duncan Quagmire: Okay so like, no she isn't related or adopted by the Quagmires

Lena Saberwing as the Narrative Role of Isadora Quagmire: c'mon both these kids like poetry. Literally I can think of no other DuckTales kid that likes that (other than Webby but that was more of her liking Lena's stuff). She will still have her background as Magica's niece and might take some of the role of Fernald where he gets redeemed by betraying Olaf/saving Sunny. I am unsure by what extent though as she isn't going to be a henchperson of Glomgold or Magica. It might be that she is uses morally questionable ways to get what she wants/needs. Maybe she is "good" but has to commit a terrible act similar to how the Baudelaires have to burn down the carnival.

Characters that I am uncertain about or straight up don't have someone in that role:

Violet Saberwing as the Narrative Role of Fiona Widdershins: Like Fiona, Violet was also originally distrusted by a part of the cast (in this AU, it probably be Webby and/or Louie as Huey catches feelings lol). She is also obsessed with the occult not fungus and has to save probably Louie from losing his soul or something (wip). Violet more than any of the main cast of kids will probably act more like her canon self since she is naturally straight forward and booksmart. She probably gets forced to stay with Glomgold until her and Lena can escape again. Also since I didn't want it to be another underwater local and wanted it to relate to DuckTales17 a bit more closely I thought it be better if they were in the sky. Maybe Violet got the Sun chaser or maybe even the Spear of Selene. Maybe instead of going to look for their dads (since they are dead oof) they come back at The End to tell the McDuck Siblings et all that they might of found something...or someone important.

Boyd as the Narrative Role of Friday: This is definitely more of a stretch as really he is only Friday because in role only because I want him at the Island at The End so that he can save the siblings from whatever organic incident happens since he is still an android. I previously thought he could also fit the role of Fernald since he could go through a redemption arc easier due to him sorta going through one in the show. Its not out of the realm of possibility that Glomgold could have reprogrammed him to obey him (he might still do something similar I haven't figured it out 100%).

Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera as the narrative role of Hector: He probably won't faint as much as Hector but he will have to be pushed by the kids to be confident in himself during the Vile Village (which will probably change to a Capital city since I plan to rework FOWL into this). Maybe its similar to a military academy which makes having a set of rules make sense. Its also possible that Fenton escapes with some of the kids in the Sunchaser by the end of this.

Steelbeak as the Narrative Role of Fernald Widdershins: I mainly chose him because Steelbeak and Hookhanded man both most clearly are shown to be sympathic antagonists. They are still functionally villians, much more so than any of the children like Boyd or Lena who, yeah, have done bad things but in one case wasn't given the freewill to decide for himself or was but when she decided to stand up for herself she was literally tortured and had her freedom taken away (more so than in the beginning since. Steelbeak would, like Fernald, be making a choice as an adult man to be apart of a mad man's troop and was harden enough to commit murder if it meant he could impress his boss. But because he is not related to (by blood or otherwise) any protagonist I struggle to know where to put him. I might still have him defect during the end of what would have been the Grim Grotto ep and comes back with the Saberwings at The End. Maybe he brings Gosalyn back after finding her at some point, maybe he dies somewhere towards The End. Not sure.

Gladstone/Ghost of Christmas Past/News Reporter Lady as the Narrative Role of Mr. Poe/Mr. Poes Wife: wow this one is really confusing. My reasoning behind these picks is because The News lady would be a great pick for Mr. Poe's wife or at least a substitute as she has similar motivations in DT17. The biggest set back for her tho is that she has no reason to be on the Baudelaire case (or McDuck case anyways). Ghost of Christmas past is a bit of a stretch since why the fuck would he be in charge of making sure the kids had guardians? I mainly want him just bc of his motivation (or lack thereof) to do his job and being incompetent at it. Gladstone while making some sense that he also would be uncaring about where the kids go is also a stretch given he is a relative and he while he might not care 100% about their whereabouts he wouldn't lose them like Mr. Poe would simply bc he is so damn Lucky. Its possible to work that against him, maybe in a scenerios like where he drops off the kids but gets whisked away because some rando gifts him a boat. Still unsure.

Mrs. Beakley as either the Narrative Role of Jaclyn S (Mr. Poes Secretary/VFD spy)., Olivia C. (Librarian): I want Mrs. B to have a role which fits her being experienced and competent but also met a tragic demise. I might mix the experience of JS with the fate of OC. Poor Webby.

Justice Strauss as ???: I'll be honest, I am stumped with this one. This is a very important role to fill and I can't quite find an adult character that fits the bill of Justice Strauss. Mrs. B is too smart, Launchpad studying law while ridiculous, is something inline with the show but he doesn't have a DT17 motivation similar enough to Strauss where he's desires can be exploited nor has he really want kids in the same sense as Strauss. Drake Mallard is close since he is an actor but having him work with law is a bit of a stretch, I also think that making him somewhat bumbling is an insult to his character but Strauss is tragic since she WANTS to very much be the Baudelaires guardian but fails so much. Maybe in a safer world she could have been, maybe if they were luckier. She loves them so much, but they run away where she can't find them to at least try to be there for them and is left heart broken by the end. Whoever becomes JS is in for a world of hurt and I'm sorry. Goofy could also be a replacement, maybe Max died for more angst 😬.

Goldie or Daisy as the narrative role of Kit Snicket: This kinda gets really fanfic-y as neither of these characters really fit nicely into this role. Goldie definitely has the skill of Kit and her disregard for the rules but the pregnancy thing is... something. Not entirely sure if I actually want her to be pregnant but I also want a Beatrice II type character (of course she would be named Della II) but again very fanfic-y. Daisy I am more comfortable being the one who gets pregnant, she might take Olivias role as the new VFD recruit instead of Kits more seasoned one. All I know is that if either or both outcomes exist they will die also a Dewey Deanumont(?) Character wouldn't be the father it would of course be Donald or Scrooge depending who gets pregnant.

Jacques Snicket as ???: Another mystery for me. Functionally? Maybe Manny could play this role or even Launchpad (he really is just my go to for any character idk about huh?) Whoever it is will die but wont have a romance with the Olivia character(s). Maybe its Goofy lmao.

This is quite long enough, let me know if y'all got any more ideas. I'll edit this when I can since I am tired of writing. Please comment or reblog for suggestions and the like thx u. And please...Look Away while you still can.

[safetypinkerton]

Hollywood Propaganda by Mark Dice 

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/hollywood-propaganda-mark-dice/1137833508

Christianity Under Attack

In order to destroy America, the conspirators are determined to eradicate faith in God and dismantle organized Christianity. Attacking Jesus and Christianity is a sacrament in Hollywood because the far-Left hates Jesus and everything He stands for. It’s not an overstatement to say that many in key positions of power in the entertainment industry (and politics) are Satanists who will someday openly embrace Lucifer as the rebel angel kicked out of Heaven for defying God.

  “I’m glad the Jews killed Christ,” ranted comedian Sarah Silverman in one of her comedy specials. “Good. I’d fucking do it again!” she declares, as her audience agrees in laughter.158 While accepting an Emmy Award one year Kathy Griffin said, “A lot of people come up here and they thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus. He didn’t help me a bit…so all I can say is suck it Jesus! This award is my god now!”159

I’m not saying people shouldn’t be able to make fun of Christians, but no mainstream celebrity would dare make such insults or jokes about Muhammad because Muslims (and Jews) are vigorously protected against any criticism or mockery and only wonderful things can be said about them. Even a slightly edgy joke ignites a barrage of attacks with cries of “Islamophobia” or “anti-Semitism” and gears start moving in the well-funded and massive smear machines like the ADL and the SPLC which quickly move to destroy the person’s career before they can utter another word.

Hating Christians is almost as necessary as believing in climate change if you’re going to be a mainstream Hollywood celebrity. There are very few open Christians in Hollywood, most of them are has-beens like Kevin Sorbo and Kirk Cameron who have been basically blacklisted since being open about their faith.

  Kevin Sorbo was banned from Comicon because he’s a conservative and “pals with Sean Hannity.”160 He and other Christian actors are stuck doing low budget films that get little attention. They’re allowed to exist (for now) as long as they never point out the Bible’s teachings on homosexuality. Only watered down and generic Christian messages are allowed to be said.

After Guardians of the Galaxy star Chris Pratt appeared on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert and happened to discuss his “spirituality,” many online began attacking him for being a Christian and attending a church. Actress Ellen Page (a lesbian) from the X-Men and Inception tweeted, “If you are a famous actor and you belong to an organization that hates a certain group of people, don’t be surprised if someone simply wonders why it’s not addressed. Being anti LGBTQ is wrong, there aren’t two sides. The damage it causes is severe. Full stop.”161

Singer Ellie Goulding threatened to back out of her scheduled performance at the 2019 Thanksgiving NFL halftime show if the Salvation Army didn’t pledge to donate money to LGBT causes. She got the idea after her Instagram comments were flooded with complaints from her fans because the Salvation Army was sponsoring the game to announce their annual Red Kettle Campaign (bell ringers) fundraiser for the homeless.162 Since the Salvation Army is a Christian charity, Goulding’s fans freaked out, accusing them of being “homophobic” and “transphobic.”

They quickly bowed to the pressure and “disavowed” any anti-LGBT beliefs, which basically means they’re disavowing the Bible because even the New Testament denounces homosexuality in Romans 1:26-27 and 1st Corinthians 6:9-10. Many critics claim that only the Old Testament does, but the Book of Romans makes it clear that just because Jesus came to offer salvation doesn’t mean God’s law regarding homosexuality changed.

The Salvation Army also removed a “position statement” from their website that had made it clear “Scripture forbids sexual intimacy between members of the same sex,” and replaced it with one saying “We embrace people regardless of race, gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation, or gender identity.”163 One of the world’s largest Christian charities whose very name “The Salvation Army” refers to the salvation of Christ, cowardly bowed down to the Leftist activists out of fear they would be branded “homophobic.”

Christians are easy targets since they’re much more passive than Jews and Muslims when attacked, and Hollywood loves to stereotype them as a bunch of superstitious bigots who don’t know how to have fun. In the rare case that there is a movie favorable to Christianity that gets widespread distribution, that too is attacked.

Passion of the Christ was deemed “anti-Semitic” because it depicts the story of Jesus’ arrest, sham trial, and crucifixion.164 It was the most popular film about the events to be made and wasn’t a straight to DVD release like most others. With Mel Gibson behind it, the film became a huge success, which caused a tremendous backlash.

The ADL [Anti-Defamation League] denounced the film, saying it “continues its unambiguous portrayal of Jews as being responsible for the death of Jesus. There is no question in this film about who is responsible. At every single opportunity, Mr. Gibson’s film reinforces the notion that the Jewish authorities and the Jewish mob are the ones ultimately responsible for the Crucifixion.”165 That’s because that’s what happened!

Technically, the Romans did it, but at the behest of the Jewish leadership in Jerusalem at the time. The Bible makes it very clear what led to Jesus being crucified. Pontius Pilate is quoted in Matthew 27:24 saying, “I am innocent of this man’s blood,” and “It is your responsibility!” meaning the Jewish Pharisees. They were the ones who conspired to have Jesus arrested and killed for “blasphemy” and being a “false” messiah. Pontius Pilate even offered to release Jesus, but the crowd demanded he release Barabbas instead, another man who was being detained for insurrection against Rome, and for murder.166

A critic for the New York Daily News called The Passion of the Christ, “the most virulently anti-Semitic movie made since the German propaganda films of the Second World War.”167 Many others angrily denounced the film when it came out in 2004. Some in the media even blamed it for a supposed “upsurge” in anti-Semitic hate crimes.168

When the History Channel miniseries The Bible was released in 2013, the same cries of “anti-Semitism” rang out.169 The New York Times opinion editor Bari Weiss went so far as to say that it’s a “conspiracy theory” that Jews killed Jesus.170

Even though most Christmas movies aren’t overtly Christian and instead focus of the importance of families reuniting and spending time together, that doesn’t mean they’re not going to come under attack. As the war on western culture continues, the Marxists have set their sights on Christmas too.

Online liberal cesspool Salon.com ran a headline reading “Hallmark movies are fascist propaganda,” and complained they promote “heteronormative whiteness” because there aren’t enough LGBT characters or people of color in them.171

“Hallmark movies, with their emphasis on returning home and the pleasures of the small, domestic life, also send a not-at-all subtle signal of disdain for cosmopolitanism and curiosity about the larger world,” Salon said, “which is exactly the sort of attitude that helps breed the kind of defensive White nationalism that we see growing in strength in the Donald Trump era.”172

The article went on to say that because the Hallmark Channel airs so many Christmas movies, it is promoting, “a set of patriarchal and authoritarian values that are more about White evangelicals defining themselves as an ethnic group, and not about a genuine feeling of spirituality…The very fact that they’re presented as harmless fluff makes it all the more insidious, the way they work to enforce very narrow, White, heteronormative, sexist, provincial ideas of what constitutes ‘normal.’”173

The article wasn’t satire. Salon.com has a deep-seated hatred of Christianity, conservatives and families, and is another cog in the Cultural Marxist machine working to destroy the United States.

Comedian Whitney Cummings was reported to the Human Resources department of a major Hollywood studio after she wished the crew of a TV show she was working on “Merry Christmas” when they wrapped up for the year. She made the revelation while speaking with Conan O’Brian the following December. “Last year, I was working on a TV show, [and] got in trouble with Human Resources for saying ‘Merry Christmas’ to an intern,” she began.174

Conan asked her if she was being serious and she said it was a true story, elaborating, “I was leaving, like on the 18th or whatever…and I was like, ‘Bye guys, Merry Christmas.’” When she returned from vacation after New Year’s she was called to HR and scolded. She joked, “I don’t even care how your Christmas was. It was just a formality. It’s what you say when you leave.”175

Conan O’Brien then replied, “In these times we’re in, that could trigger someone or offend them if it’s not their holiday.”176 She didn’t say which network it was, but she’s been involved with some major shows like NBC’s Whitney (where she played the main character), as well as the CBS sitcom 2 Broke Girls, which she created and was a writer for.

While today it may seem impossible that Christmas movies may become a thing of the past, nobody could have ever guessed that reruns of the classic Dukes of Hazzard would get banned after the Confederate flag was deemed a “hate symbol” in 2015, or that Aunt Jemima pancake syrup, Eskimo Pie ice cream bars, and Uncle Ben’s Rice would be deemed “racially insensitive” and pulled from production a few years later.177

Once someone reminds liberals that the word Christmas is derived from Christ’s Mass and that it is actually a commemoration of the birth of Jesus, they may finally go over the edge and deem Christmas just as offensive as Columbus Day or the Fourth of July. And with the Muslim and Sikh populations increasing in the United States, the American standard of Christmas music playing in shopping malls and retail stores all month long every December may one day come to an end because it’s not “inclusive” and leaves non-Christians feeling “ostracized.”

[hcneysoaked]

💘 with bev so we can pretend everything is fine <3

send me 💘 + A SHIP and i’ll tell you—

where they first met and how aha mental breakdowns outside of bev’s job </3 definitely called for some immediate bonding, definitely influences the sort of dynamic they end up having throughout too

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved no flirting just terrible pining <3 well like some flirting maybe on eli’s part, but he definitely cuts back after the Initial Fuck Up ™ and it’s all replaced anyway with good old quiet pining

who fell for who first ( if applicable ) based on how things have been going definitely bev :((( it takes eli a while i think to figure out how he feels but he’ll get the re

where their first date was and what it was like ooo okay eli would definitely want to make it all up to bev and maybe actually have something planned out for once, but it’d be something lowkey…. dinner + something else that i cant come up with rn bgfkj but it’d go over better than either of them would expect i think, a good start

who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? ) after it all starts to get worked out… things would likely still be a little tentative for a while, but with less tension… i think it might come as a little suggestion from eli that maybe they could try and give it another shot but not without a lot of reassurnace that’s he’s not just fucking around again

who proposes first wil d i’m not sure gbdfjkg i dont know if they would?? unless he sees its something bev seems to want, then i don’t think eli would totally considering making that move, but if she does then he’d absolutely make the effort and he wouldn’t say no to her either gbfjkdf

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away mmm no one to really keep it a secret from i think?? well eli likes to keep things lowkey at first from like friends/family mostly bc he has a terrible relationship track record and doesn't want them getting on his case BUT…. it wouldn’t be bc of bev or anything

where the proposal happens and how ( kiss cam at a baseball game? on a hillside surrounded by ducks? at a disney park? ) not to talk abt stargazing again but…… can u Picture it

if they adopt any pets together unless he is physically restrained then every universe has eli bringing a cat home at Some Point

who’s more dominant I feel like its safe to say eli gfdkfg though he’s not normally, he’s just stubborn and pushy

where their first kiss was and what it was like :((( probably during the first date? but like not til the very end and they’re like parting ways, and it’s really tentative and careful and maybe they kinda just go for it bc they wanna make sure they at least do this in case it doesn’t end up working out again

if they have any matching couples stuff ( mugs? sweaters? pillowcases? ) omg wa it the little star necklace :(( maybe not that exactly, but like something small like that, or like a little ring or something :(

how into pda they are eli is very much into pda, he’s a clingy baby, but I can see him toning it down a bit, especially towards the beginning again. they’re hand hold-y for sure, like smaller scale pda

who holds the umbrella when it rains eli bc Height but also bc he’s stubborn and likes doing little stuff like that for them

where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable ) stargazing spot!!!! it's always the lil late night picnic

who’s more protective eli is definitely crazy protective of bev, very quick to defend and quicker to try and fight anything that upsets them

how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ ) eli has no qualms over sharing his bed with friends so that could've happened already, but he’d be even clingier after they start dating. anything more might take a little bit to happen, but mostly bc i imagine they’d kinda try to take things slow

if they argue about anything neither of them are too keen on addressing conflict i think which probably isnt great in the long run gbdkfgdg but i dont think they’d linger too much on small things so any arguments are rare

who leaves more marks ( lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc. ) probably eli jgnfdngd Possesive

who steals whose clothes and how often mmm i can see them both doing it, eli has no issues helping himself to bev’s closet unless they say something against it and i can see bev probably wearing little things around eli’s place

how they cuddle ( spooning? facing each other? ) I think eli likes to hold on to bev, doesn’t matter how they’re positioned bgjdg

what their favourite nonsexual activity is I will Refrain from repeating the same thing yet again bu t i feel like they might be the type to go around for little late night drives you know? like going nowhere in particular, just talking and listening

how long they stay mad at each other mmm i dont think they’d stay mad for very long, especially given that i don’t think’d butt heads too much to begin with?

what their usual coffee / tea orders are mmm maybe sweeter leaning drinks, go for those holidays ones bgkdf

if they ever have any children together maybe….. maybe not…. but their kids would have a nice balance with both of them bgdfkj

if they have any special pet names for each other eli would absolutely shower bev in little pet names and terms of endearment he loves that kind of shit and would absolutely die if they use any of them in return

if they have any special pet names for each other eli would absolutely shower bev in little pet names and terms of endearment he loves that kind of shit and would absolutely die if they use any of them in return

if they ever split up and / or get back together they had that sort of together point at the beginning and then that break after before they Actually date but on from that, I don’t think they’d be on/off again just bc that bit cause enough angst as it was for them 

what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? ) like a lived in kinda messy, vaguely organized and not too much of a disaster with little knick knacks they get together to decorate

what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like mmm i dont think eli would wanna leave bev on their own so he would at least offer to bring them to his family’s bc they’d throw a fit if he tried to skip gbfdkg and hopefully that goes over better than he’d expect

what their names are in each other’s phones a rotation of lil pet names probably followed by a string of little emojis

if they have any ‘couple traditions’ ( buying a new mug for their collection every year? baking every friday evening? ) the stargazing!!! always!!! at least every other week, good clearing your mind activity!! 

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first I wanna say bev falls asleep first just bc eli tends to stay up really late and they might wake up first too, but probably depends on what theyre doing??

who’s the big spoon / little spoon eli might default to big spoon bc Big and again he just likes clinging to bev <33

who hogs the bathroom mm depends, but eli can spend forever in there making sure he at least Looks put together gfkd

who kills the spiders / takes them outside they both seem like the take spider outside kinda person kgdjf

[vdwlkr]

happy as a sand boy

fill for @missscatter​‘s Miraith prompt list :) 

Summary: There are a lot of weird ways to spend early morning on New Dawn. Mirage just never thought catching Wraith baking will be among them. 

–

“What are you doing?”

She jumped, and Mirage winced at a loud metal clatter followed by a splat ringing across the empty kitchen. Wraith stood in front of the counter frozen, staring at whatever horror became of his interruption.

Part of him wanted to apologize immediately because what the heck? Did that just happen? Did he just surprise Wraith-could-avoid-sniper-bullets-from-three-hundred-meters-away? The other part of him wanted to laugh at the absurdity of the situation because, well, maybe he’s still asleep? It is 4 in the morning after all, and that seemed to be the best explanation of what just happened—

Until he spotted a ladle flying towards him, instinctively making him duck and bump his head directly into the island table in front of him.

“Ow!”

“You deserved that.”

“No, I didn’t. Thought you heard me, I said your name twice coming in.”

The glare she’s giving him turned deadly at his answer, but she’d look more terrifying if she wasn’t…you know, red from her cheeks to the tip of her ears, dark sweater covered in flour and batter and smelling distinctively cocoa.

He rubbed his palm against his forehead, taking a quick survey across the assortment of used pots, pans, and trays before it clicks.

“You’re baking.”

The disbelief made her lips curl into a grimace. “What of it?”

“I—wh—uh—you’re actually baking?”

“No, Mirage, I’m mixing eggs and flour and hoping it suddenly turns edible.” She crossed her arms, stance guarded but there is apprehension in her eyes.

“Do you have a cooked batch? Can I have some?”

“No.”

“No you don’t have any, or no I can’t?”

“Look,” Exasperated she began, “I know you think you’re funny and I admit it has its moments, but I have to get this done perfectly in about—” her eyes darted at the wall clock above the kitchen door heading to the Mess Hall, “—an hour or so.”

Mirage shrugged, “So let me help.”

“What?” Her brows furrowed, apprehension giving away to suspicion. “Why?”

“This seems important.“ He dropped his palms on the table and nodded, “So I wanna help.”

She’s considering it. He can see the gears in her mind twist and turn, eyes shooting between the spilled batter on the counter and the mess she’s made on the table.

“Alright.”

Still he blinked in surprise. “Really?”

“Yes.” She turned her head away, picking up and handing him a piece of paper from the other end of the island table. “Here.”

The paper had Lifeline’s unruly handwriting all over it, mixed with what must be Wattson’s from several French words crossed over and replaced with common. It’s a list of ingredients and instructions, the margins doodled over by design.

“Mirage?”

“Yeah?” He answered automatically, looking back up and finding her holding a clean mixing bowl and a measuring cup. “Right. You need flour. A cup and three-quarters.”

–

It’s amusing to watch Wraith focus on something other than lining up her shot. Her eyes still narrow, jaw still clenching, but this time, it’s over trying to perfect adding sifted ingredients on a mixture of butter, eggs, and sugar. Cocoa follows shortly after, and he inhaled the wafting scent as she began mixing the batter with a spatula.

"Stop staring.”

“Can’t help it. I didn’t know you had hands.”

He grinned toothily at the exasperation on her face, tapping her spatula against the tip of the bowl before mixing it again. He turned back to his share of work, stirring the pot of several melting chunks of butter over low heat.

“You’re walking around thinking I had no hands?”

“How was I supposed to know whether or not you had robotic ones?” He muttered with a shrug.

Wraith raised an eyebrow, lips quirking into a smirk, “Is that you finally admitting I have a better aim?”

“Ha, no.” He turned on his heels, pointing his spatula towards her direction. “Definitely not. Did you even see the leaderboards Wraith? I had the highest damage last Game.”

“And I was the kill leader.”

“Only because you’re great at stealing kills.”

“I was securing them. Maybe we should have a spar later just to see which one is th—stop eating the chocolates!”

Wraith lunged at the bowl he raised above his head, “I only took one!”

“One plus two others.” She hopped, actually just hopped to reach the bowl he’s now standing on the tip of his toe for, and his mind went what the fuck. He let her have it because that was fucking cute, watching her pour all of it and leave the container on the table. “Don’t let it burn.”

“Aye, aye.” He does, mixing the fudge thoroughly.

“So, did you have a bad dream again?”

The suddenness of the question sent a jolt through his stomach.

“W-what? Of course nn—of course—"

Mirage sighed, his shoulders dropping.

If there is one curious thing about their relationship, it’s exactly this: she has always been good at stripping away who Mirage is. Mirage would never walk into a kitchen and offer to help anything. Mirage would quip something borderline insulting, have her rolling her eyes or telling him to leave. But as cliché as it sounded, he…never really felt the need to pretend when it’s around her. He could act as silly or as fucking stupid as he wanted, and she still looked at him the same.

“Yeah.”

She nodded, “What was it about?”

He stared at her incredulously, “You’re seriously interested?”

“Only if you want to talk about it.”

“Well, I mean, it’s not that bad of a dream.” He rubbed a finger against his cheeks, observing Wraith pour the cake batter into a square pan and slide the container into the oven. “Just an uncomf—uncomfie one.”

“Was it about being unable to find your comb?”

He shrugged a shoulder, “Couldn’t find my styling cream actually. Dreamt I had to go into the ring with my hair like a bird nest.”

She snorted. “The horror.”

“You’re saying that now but you got shot in my dream cause of laughing too hard.”

Wraith does chuckle at that, “Is that your diabolical plan on taking the Apex Predator title?”

“Maybe.” Mirage grinned back. He added milk, brown sugar, and vanilla essence to the pot as Lifeline and Wattson’s instructions dictated, transferring it into a bowl and popping it into the refrigerator. “Wraith?”

“Hm?”

“Something happened to you. In my dream.” Leaning an arm against the counter, he half turned to her, “I dreamt we were back in King’s Canyon when the Repulsor broke. Everyone had to work together to get to the Airbase. It was insane, honestly. Bangalore and Lifeline had this rivalry thing going on, Bloodhound held six prowlers with no bullets just an axe, and Caustic helped defend the drop ship.”

“Caustic helped?”

“Yeah, I know. Should’ve been a warning sign I was dreaming. But before we could leave the island….“ He exhaled evenly, "I didn’t see you but—but I heard about it. From Gibraltar and Lifeline. They said your heart stopped.”

"Oh, so I died.”

“Wow.” He drew his head back, apalled at her nonchalance. “That’s it? That’s all the fucks I get from you?”

Wraith set down the paper sack of flour, keeping her hands behind as she walked towards him. “People die all the time Mirage, it’s not a big deal.”

“Well, it’s a big deal to me.” He couldn’t help the sudden surge of irritation. “Everything felt and looked real. I thought you would underst—”

She threw a handful of flour at him.

Mirage blinked in surprise, lips slowly falling open. It took him another second before he could comprehend that yeah, Wraith just did that. A glance at the silverware to his side showed half of his face covered in white, most importantly—

“My hair!”

Wraith snickered, “Really? That’s the first thing you think about?”

He narrowed her eyes at her and she quickly grabbed the ammunition off the table, holding the sack at her side even spilling some of it off her sweater and pants. “I don’t think so.”

But Mirage has always been a resourceful man.

Instead, he reached for the sink and pulled the wash hose off its place, pointing it at her with a hand on the switch. A cheshire grin broke slowly across his face at Wraith’s look of realization.

“Don’t you dare!”

“No, no, you see this?” He gestured to the powder covering his hair. “This is a declara—dec—delcra—war. This means war.”

“Hah. I don’t know, grey hair looks good on you,” She grinned, “old man.”

“W-what did you just call—oh game on.” He sprayed on her with a jerk on the knob, but she’s expecting it, diving quickly off view.

He grabbed an empty pot and left the faucet open, just as Wraith peeked from the other side of the table throwing another handful. He dodges barely, snatching the cocoa powder from the corner of her eye.

“We can still drink that.” She called from the other side of the table.

He turned off the faucet and placed the bowl on the middle, discreetly returning the cocoa because yeah he does want some hot chocolate later. “Should’ve thought of that before ruining my hair, sweetheart.”

“Will saying sorry make everything better?”

“Let me think,” He hummed theatrically, “Nah.”

With a flick of his fingers he toppled the bowl over, water quickly spilling to the other side—

“Hey!” Wraith yelped, jumping away.

It’s the perfect opportunity to make a break for the flour, when all of a sudden Wraith slipped. He automatically reached out to help her and he would have laughed about it, had she not used his momentum against him and brought him with her to the floor.

They landed with a grunt from Wraith, bearing the brunt of the force.

“Shit, are you okay?”

Her lids cracked open, bright ocean eyes peeking mischievously. She suddenly ran her hands on his cheeks, hair, grinning wolfishly when his eyes widened in realization.

“You sneaky little—”

Instead of bothering to push her away, he reached for the sack she had dropped, dipping both his hands and smearing the same streak across her face, neck, hair and—and she was laughing, bright and warm and carefree, the sound of it making home in his chest. It made him stop to listen because holy shit he caused that. He’s the reason for that.

Wraith caught his wrist and pinned it to his other side, locking a leg around her own and pushed him off with her core strength until she’s the one on top, watching him mutter a soft, “Unf.”

Another chuckle escaped her lip, “Sorry.”

“Are you?”

“No.”

He chuckled at her answer, then at her appearance, dark sweater now completely smudged, “I see grey hair looks good on you too, grandma.”

Wraith slid off him and rolled her eyes half heartedly, taking the half undone bun off, letting her hair cascade down her back on soft waves.

Mirage can only stare.

She’s beautiful—he’s always known that—and while he thought she’s just as breath taking with her hair neatly pinned as it is curling wildly around her powdered face, there’s just something so intimate about her allowing him this.

He wanted to kiss her

And though he knows she returns the feelings to an extent, he has no idea if quite they’re there yet, so he mustered the urge and let it go.

“You’re staring again.” She said.

The only thing he could say in reply is, “I can’t help it.”

–

prompts finish here, but there’s a couple of more words right here :)

[frightgothcar]

Gayrea 51 Chapter 2: Not the weirdest thing I’ve heard this week.

Hey yall, thanks for the great feedback on chapter 1 of this fic, I’m super motivated and excited to write this for yall!! Thanks to everyone who’s encouraged me to work on this! It’s been a tough couple of weeks with me, so this chapter is a little late, but I hope you enjoy! (You can also read it on ao3 here)

Previous / Next

“Nice to meet ya, Wes. How about you go ahead and pull that lever so I can get out of this hell-hole.” Danny gestured to the control panel Wes was admiring earlier. 

Wes’ hand drifted towards the lever, trembling ever so slightly. “Wait a minute,” He stopped and lowered his eyes at Danny, “How do I know you’re not just trying to trick me?” 

Danny groaned and pressed his face up against the glass. “You have my word as a government experiment?” He fluttered his pure white eyelashes. “What, do you need a please too?”

“... Yes.”

“What?”

“I’ll only let you out if you say please.”

“Aw c’mon, that’s so stupid-”

“Or, I could just alert the guards right now.” He glanced at the control panel again before deciding on a large red button.

Danny snorted and raised an eyebrow, “You realize you’ll be in even worse trouble than I will if you do that.”

“You think I care if I die? Ha! Do you really want to squander your one chance at escape because you didn’t want to say please?”

Danny scowled then grinned, “Damn, Wes, I’m impressed. Alright. May I please be let out?”

Wes pulled down the lever before he had a chance to hesitate. All the lights in the hallway began flashing red. An alarm blared from the intercom. Danny reached through the glass, grabbed his arm and yanked him into a wall. Oh god, was this really how he was gonna go? Beaten to death by an alien? He held his breath and waited for the impact, but it never came. He cracked open an eye and realized they were outside. Danny grinned up at him. 

“Surprise!” he exclaimed before his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he slumped against Wes’ chest. 

“Oh, god what just happened?” Wes whispered to himself, his arms instinctively catching Danny and shifting his unconscious form into a bridal carry. The alarm was still blaring, it was only a matter of time before someone realized what was happening and took him out with a well-placed shot. Without giving the situation a second thought he took off, towards the gate. As he got closer to the front of the building he realized something seemed off. The previously endless rain of bullets had stopped, the noise replaced by the triumphant shouts of the mob. The gate was ripped off its hinges as more and more people flooded into the compound, destroying everything that stood in their way with sheer force. 

It was almost beautiful, the chaos of it all. But Wes didn’t have time to admire the sight. He shifted Danny in his arms and began pushing through the mass of people, most of which made way after seeing what (or rather, who) he was carrying. He felt as though he was back in school almost, moving through the desert like pushing through droves of Freshman on his way to class. The crowd finally began to thin out, giving Wes enough space to break into a sprint. His mind was so focused on getting out of there he barely even reacted when he reached his truck, automatically unlocking the doors and settling Danny inside. His door wasn’t even shut all the way when he peeled away from his parking spot, weaving through parked cars and coolers to the main road. He barreled down the stretch of concrete, at least 20 miles over the speed limit. His only thought was to get as far away from there as possible. 

Once he reached the freeway he began to calm down. He turned on the radio and fell into a sort of lull as he drove. His mind remained on autopilot, stopping to get gas once then driving through the night. Every once in awhile a memory of bloodsoaked hands or flashing lights would try to get through but he shut them out, instead focusing on the road and the static-y pop music blaring from the radio. A hand landed on his shoulder and he jerked to the side, almost veering off the side of the road. He pulled into the shoulder and glared at his passenger with bloodshot eyes.

“What?” He hissed.

“Are you okay?” Danny asked, his sarcastic demeanor was gone, replaced with genuine worry, “When did you last sleep?”

Wes shrugged and closed his eyes to shut out the rising sun, “Does it matter?”

“Well, duh. You look like shit and I’m pretty sure you shouldn’t be driving if you’re… compromised.”

“What do you know, Alien?” 

Danny rolled his eyes, “Clearly more than you, Human. Why don’t we take a break and then you can take us- Where are we going?”

Wes shrugged and dragged a hand across his face, “No fucking clue.”

Danny groaned, “Great. Out of all the people that could’ve busted me out it had to be you.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” He shot back. 

“It means,” Danny propped his elbows up on the center console and stared into Wes’ eyes, “That you are fucking stupid! What kind of idiot breaks into a highly guarded government facility without a fucking plan?”

Danny collapsed back into his seat, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring out the window. The sun was just beginning to come up, sending a pale orange light across his face, emphasizing his cheekbones. It was almost enough to make Wes forget about the angry words he’d just said to him. Almost.

“Not very fucking grateful, are we?” He bit back, “ I saved your goddamn skin and I don’t even get a fucking thank you?”

“Considering you’re probably going to get us killed, no.” 

“Great. Fucking great. Well then, what’s your brilliant plan, Mr. Smartass?”

Danny turned back to Wes and shrugged. All the anger drained from his face, leaving him with a more neutral expression. “I dunno, believe it or not, I’m not exactly an expert with the outside world.” 

Wes sighed, “I suppose that makes sense… you’re right. I should get some sleep, I’m sure this whole situation will make more sense in the morning.”

“Afternoon.” Danny corrected.

“Huh?” 

“Well, it’s already morning, so if you sleep the typical 8 hours, you’ll be waking up in the afternoon.”

“Pretty bold of you to assume I have a normal sleeping schedule. See you in the morning.” Wes reclined his seat and turned on his side, facing the door.

“So that's just it? You’re leaving me, a guy you met like 3 hours ago alone in your car for an undetermined amount of time with no guarantee that I’m not gonna just drive off without you?”

“That depends. Can you drive?”

“Well, no, but-”

“Cool. Try not to die without me, see you in the morning.” Wes began fake snoring obnoxiously loud, his eyes squeezed shut. 

Danny rolled his eyes, making a mental note to get back at him for their whole exchange and looked out the window. It had been a while since he’d seen the sun, and he’d really forgotten how beautiful it was. The pictures online never really did it justice. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wes woke to a knocking on his car window. A police officer stood on the other side of the glass. A scowl painted her face, her eyes were covered by dark sunglasses, but if Wes had to guess he’d say they held the same disdain. He sat up his chair and rolled down the window. 

“How can I help you, officer?” He said, anxiety twinging his voice.

“Are you aware that you’re parked illegally?” She looked him up and down, sizing him up.

“Um, well, uh-” He stuttered. 

“Actually, Ma’am, our engine shorted out,” A voice came from behind him. Wes’ eyes went wide. Not only were they parked illegally, but he was harboring an alien prisoner. They were so screwed. “Me and my friend here were on our way to a cosplay contest and got a little lost. We’re waiting on triple-A, but they’re taking a while. W- William decided to take a little nap to keep his energy up while I waited on them.”

Danny handed the Officer Wes’ phone that he had somehow managed to not only steal but unlock in the short time Wes had been asleep. She lowered her glasses to the bridge of her nose and glanced at the screen. 

“Everything seems to be in order,” She nodded begrudgingly, “Do you boys need a lift?”

“No thank you, Ma’am,” Danny smiled warmly, showing off a pair glistening pair of white fangs “We’ll be fine.”

They waited for the officer to get back into her patrol car, talk to her partner, then drive off before talking again.

“What the fuck was that?” Wes glared.

“Gee, thanks for saving our asses, Danny, you’re so brave and handsome-” Danny imitated Wes in a squeaky voice.

“Yeah, sure, thanks for almost getting us killed!” 

“Oh, really, and you had a much better plan than me how?” 

“I dunno! But you didn’t have to talk to her! You should’ve hid, I’m surprised she didn’t kill us! After what happened yesterday we have to be careful, there's probably a fucking SWAT team after you!” Wes shouted.

“As far as I’m concerned, there is no ‘us’.” Danny crossed his arms, “Plus they wouldn’t kill me. I’m too valuable. Maybe you, but not me.”

“How reassuring,” Wes said dryly. 

“Now, let's get out of this godforsaken desert!” He commanded.

“It’s too fucking early for this.” Wes groaned and hit his head against the steering wheel with a soft thunk.

“Oh, no, you are NOT falling asleep on me again!” Danny scolded, “We are going to eat some food and then we’re gonna go our separate ways. Sound good to you?”

Wes nodded, slowly raising his head and starting the car. “But before we go anywhere, you’re gonna need a change of outfits, my friend.”

“What’s wrong with what I have on?” Danny asked.

Wes drove onto the freeway, “Other than looking like you just escaped space prison, nothing.” 

“Well I don’t see how a costume change will make all of this,” he gestured to himself, “less suspicious, but by all means, try.”

“You really have no faith in me, huh?”

“Nope,” Danny said, popping the p. 

Wes pulled into the next exit, stopping at a Shell station. The neon sign flickered, as if it was winking at them, warmly inviting whatever visitors happened to pass through the abandoned stretch of road. He climbed out of the cab of his truck and stretched, his bones cracking loudly. Danny followed suit, swinging open the passenger door and planting his bare feet on the hot pavement, then immediately yelping and retracting them, opting to instead float a few inches off the ground. 

“What the fuck?” he murmured, staring at the ground.

“Oh, right, shoes. Add that to the list.” Wes remarked, reaching into the bed of his truck and pulling out a black duffel bag. He slung it over his shoulder and walked towards the small convince store. The glass door swung open with a cheery little jingle. Wes held open the door for Danny, placing his arm around his shoulders and gently pushing him so his feet touched the white tile floor.

“Humans don’t float,” he whispered.

Danny shifted uncomfortably, rising onto his tip-toes to regain some of the height he’d lost, “Fine.”

Much to Danny’s annoyance, Wes kept his arm around his shoulders as he guided him effortlessly past the lone employee, who clearly wasn’t getting paid enough to deal with the rather strange pair, and into the bathroom. Once the door was locked, he unceremoniously dropped his bag to the floor. He spent a few minutes scrubbing his hands and arms clean of the blood from the previous day off, which felt almost as good as a shower. Once he had dried himself off he knelt down to go through his clothes.

“I’m kinda broke, so you’ll have to borrow some of my clothes for now,” Wes said, unzipping his bag and pulling out a pair of wrinkled jeans for himself, pulling them over his shorts as he continued talking. “Though, baggy clothes might work better, considering the whole blue skin thing.”

He dug through the bag for a few seconds, then handed Danny a Black hoodie, blue jeans, and a pair of well-worn flipflops. 

“I’m gonna give you some privacy, open the door when you’re done, okay?”

“Huh? What, why?” Danny asked as Wes reached for the door handle.

He turned back toward Danny, “Because you’re changing?”

“Oh, this is a cultural thing, got it.” Danny nodded, grinning like he knew a secret, “I was worried you didn’t want to see me naked there for a minute.”

“And that’s my cue to leave.” Wes slammed the door shut behind him, his face dusted with a soft pink blush. He didn’t have to wait long, not even 5 minutes had passed when the door cracked open. He walked into the bathroom, the door automatically locking behind him as it shut. 

“Need any help?” he asked, trying his best not to stare at Danny’s bare legs. Apparently the jeans hadn’t been a good fit, hopefully, he was wearing underwear.

“This is stupid.” Danny groaned from under the hood of Wes’ oversized jacket. The garment covered him like a cloak, drooping around his shoulders and falling about to his knees. The heavy black material held a fairly unpleasant smell of Cheeto dust, sweat and an excessive amount of deodorant, as if someone had worn it for a few days without washing it. His antenna were tucked behind his ears, his eyes glowed softly under the hood. Even the way he walked was distinctly non-human, he almost glided across the ground, though a bit more clumsily than he had before in a pair of much too large dollar store flip flops. “Nobody is ever gonna buy this.”

Wes adjusted the hood to cover a bit more of Danny’s face, “Oh, trust me, if they’re as ignorant as the people in my hometown, nobody’ll bat an eyelash.”

He raised an eyebrow, “And if they aren’t?”

Wes shrugged, “That whole cosplay excuse was pretty smart, we could just use that again.” He paused for a minute, “Hey, come to think of it, how’d you even learn about cosplay? Aren’t you supposed to be some sort of Super Solider?”

“I wouldn’t say Super Solider, however flattering that is,” Danny’s eyes seemed to flash a tad brighter when he rolled them, “And, even though it’s none of your business, I have an internet connection. I know things.”

“Huh. Not the weirdest thing I’ve heard this week.” He shrugged. “So, uh, the pants didn’t fit?”

“I think this is as good as it gets. Wanna grab some breakfast?”

“Not until you put on pants.” 

Danny huffed, not in the mood to argue, he grabbed the jeans off the floor and pulled them on roughly, one leg at a time. He was definitely not wearing underwear. He held them up around his hips to stop them from falling down. 

“Ok, I can deal with this.” Wes thought out loud, digging through his bag and pulling out two long ratty shoelaces knotted together. “Alright, so if I just…”

He strung the dirty yellow chord through Danny’s belt loop, pulled it tight and tied it in a bow in front of his stomach. “Here, you can let go now.”

Danny released the faded blue denim, allowing the hoodie to cascade back down to it’s resting place right above his knees. The pants slid down to his hips, but didn’t sag any further. The pant legs ballooned over his feet, making him look vaguely like a toddler in footie pajamas. Wes squatted down and rolled the legs up to Danny’s ankles, leaving them still covering most of his feet, but not as much of a tripping hazard. 

“That's about as good as it gets,” Wes said, standing up and looking Danny up and down. “Ready for some food? Actually... come to think of it, what do you eat, anyway?” 

“I’m not entirely sure. I have pretty large canines, so maybe meat? I doubt nutrition sludge is very popular among the populace.”   

“You’d be surprised,” Wes deadpanned, “Ok, I have…” 

He dug through his pocket, depositing a five-dollar bill, two ones, and six pennies. “Oh, score! I think there’s a McDonalds around the corner, we can get whatever looks good to you, yeah?”

“Sounds fine,” Danny responded, pulling open the door to the single-stall bathroom and stepping back into the gas station convenience store. The attendant didn’t even glance up from her tabloid as the two of them walked out the door, only looking up once they’d left, catching a glimpse of Danny’s feet hovering about a half-inch over the parking lot. 

Wes slung his bag into the back of the truck, got into his car, and put his key into the ignition. 

“Shit!” He swore, “We’re almost out of gas. Shit!” 

Danny’s stomach grumbled loudly, “Can’t it wait? I think my stomach is eating itself from the inside out.”

Wes groaned, but got back out of the car, locking it behind him and taking his duffel from the bed of the trunk. He opened the passenger door for Danny and led him across the street. He didn’t bother to look both ways, a bad habit picked up from growing up in the calm neighborhoods and safe streets of Amity Park. 

Entering the McDonalds was like entering another dimension. Although the sun shone brightly outside, none filtered in through the large windows. The room was lit by yellow LED lights, the ones by the bathrooms flickering menacingly. A chill went down Wes’ spine. Something felt off about this place. Danny pranced inside, seemingly oblivious to the eerie atmosphere in the restaurant. 

“What’s that smell?” Danny asked dreamily, following his nose up to the counter. 

“Uh, food,” Wes answered, shaking his head to snap himself out of his trance. “Go ahead and order, I’m gonna go check something.”

Wes pressed the wadded up bills into Danny’s hand. Danny giggled like a toddler and began muttering to himself while studying the glowing menu above the counter. Wes followed, looking behind the counter suspiciously. Nobody was in the restaurant, the kitchen was completely empty. Actually, he walked towards one of the gaping windows and surveyed the parking lot. Nothing. The only car in sight was his red truck and what he assumed was the gas station attendant’s blue jeep. 

“Hey, Danny,” Wes said, turning around, “I don’t think-”

Danny was sitting on one of the tables in the kitchen, scarfing down a hamburger. He paused mid-bite and looked at Wes. 

“Whha?” His voice was muffled by the food, the action sent soggy morsels flying everywhere. Wes held up a finger, getting ready to tell Danny off when he decided, to hell with it. He had already broken the law once (or twice) today, what could a little food heist hurt? He vaulted over the counter and pulled another cheeseburger from where it had been abandoned. It seemed like the employees had left in a hurry, half-filled out orders sat in rows on the prep table. Some of them were still warm. Wes selected a two double cheeseburger meal and hoisted himself up on the table next to Danny, who had finished his burger and was starting on a large fry. He was eating it like it was all one thing, holding the wrapper and biting all the fries at once. 

“Have at least a little class!” Wes said, grabbing Danny’s wrist, “What kind of sociopath eats fries like that?”

“Me,” Danny answered, spraying flecks of fry all over Wes’s face, “Now hand ‘em over, I’m hungry!”

“Not until you start acting normal!” Wes snorted, plucking one of Danny’s fries from the container and chomping down on it. 

Danny made a screeching noise, not unlike an angry seagull and dove for the food. Despite only weighing somewhere in the low hundreds, Danny was crazy strong, easily pinning Wes to the floor and snatching his meal. He leaned into Wes’ face and hissed, showing off the chunks of food stuck in his teeth. He went back to sitting on the table, his legs crossed and one of his clawed hands clutching Wes’ burger. He stuck his tongue out as Wes got up, dusted himself off, and sat back down on the table, then took another bite of the fries. Wes stuck his tongue out in return and grabbed the second burger, wolfing it down in record time.

A siren shrieked in the distance, Wes flinched. “What the fuck is that?”

Danny shrugged as he ate a chicken nugget, “Who cares?”

Another bout of piercing sounds broke out, louder now.

“I dunno Danny, it sounds like it’s getting closer, I’m getting a bad feeling. Let’s go…” Wes began shoving food into a bag, resisting the urge to cover his ears with his hands.

An impossibly bright light pierced through the window, another siren began, right outside this time. Danny shoved another handful of chicken nuggets and grabbed Wes’ arm, pulling him towards the employee’s entrance. As they stepped back into the heat Danny’s form began to flicker, eventually turning entirely transparent. Wes decided not to ask questions, instead allowing the (invisible) hand to continue pulling him away from the restaurant, looping around about 20 black cars pulled in a circle around the McDonalds. His legs began to falter as he saw armed men climbing out of the cars, surrounding the building. One man began to shout into a megaphone. Wes’ blood rushed in his ears, his vision was blurring in fear. Danny might’ve been see-through, but there was no guarantee Wes would be getting out of this alive. 

“C’mon, Wes, pick it up, do you want to die?” Danny hissed, yanking Wes’ wrist, forcing him to take another step. 

“He’s not in there!” A voice sounded, “The tracker’s pointed over here!”

Wes froze. The man was pointing straight at him. He lifted his gun. It was at that moment he knew, he was going to die.

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 13

‘what, already?’ cry the people.  ‘yes, already,’ say kc and diesel. ‘but only for like a hot second.’

okay lets just jump right on in HOORAH

It was raining. The sky roiled saltpeter grey overhead. There were Grimm nearby. Glynda touched the cracked lens of her glasses and wiped away the fat drop of rain which had splattered against it. It was cool on her fingers. She stopped walking.

i love the transition from cinder’s POV which is all meaty slimy big wet slippery fancy words to glyndas ‘listen. words are. hard.’ look at this writing. look at it. lick it.

She stood very still, trying to remember where it was.

Her hand rose to her collar. It found waterproof fabric. She was wearing her poncho.

okay but drag me i do this all the time.

It might have bothered her, if she were the kind of Huntress to be bothered by discomfort.

this whole chapter/bit/arc/everything might have bothered her, if she were the kind of huntress, to have a braincell,

also gonna double back for JUST a moment since i’m on full 👈😎👈 neighbourhood watch and i think

The Manticore seared the sky beyond the clouds like a second sun.

I FEEL LIKE THATS A 👈😎👈. IN FACT I’M PRETTY CONVINCED OF IT, ACTUALLY. HM. HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM-- 

its hard to like. rly say how good this narration is in its own little way because its so. like that. you know. but its making such good use of the, like, negative space between sentences that everything feels so good and disjointed and did i mention the writing alone -- like even if we ignore literally Everything Else -- blows offal hunt v1 out of the water??? like who even is that bitch. idk her. but yeah like it feels both real fast and real slow, like yr skipping from one thought to another but yr not actually GETTING anywhere? it’s like that classic case of ‘talking a lot but not saying anything’. anyway i love this fic and u should too, is my point,

Cinder made a sound. It was the kind of sound people made when they weren’t having a good time.

you know what thats a LOADED sentence and also a MOOD. what sound is that? im not sure but i Feel It. In Fact Im Feeling It Right Now.

Cinder always seemed to be having a good time.

“I need to talk to you,” Glynda said.

Cinder said, “Read the note on your Scroll.”

i dont know WHY written instructions is SO funny to me but it IS and its probably because i. have also done this. look maybe. just maybe. we in the autistic community really DO toss the braincell around like a hot potato maybe we’re onto smthng here,

Your soul is fucking disgusting, so follow me at a distance.

wrow cinder u have SUCH  way w/ words. also have u considered that yr the gross one here,

dont trust ozpin

OUGH THAT HURTED. MX AUTHORS THAT ONE REALLY HURTED.

To be a Huntress just like her mothers.

hell yes

i am still laughing at them being like. separated like this. BECAUSE IN THE FIRST VERSION IT WAS ALL 👈😎👈 AND 👈😍👈 AND 👈😏👈 but now we gotta wait for it we gotta MUSCLE THRU this SHIT. im sorry that was all very vague but trust me i know exactly what this is running up to. the fabled 👈😳👈 bit U KNO THE ONE!!!!!!!!! anyway,

After a moment, she added her to her contacts.

is her contact name 👿😡😒💩cinder “ew” fall🤬😡🤮🙅‍♀️ or

this joke isnt even funny but finding those emojis took like five whole minutes so im sticking to it

The addition said: dont trust winter

do you ever just LAUGH because 👈😔👈 but also because 👈🤣👈 cause I SURE DO

im. I KNOW I SHOULDNT but the fact cinder has to rely on fucking phonecalls because she cant get close is just the funniest fucking thing. this is some peak humour here ngl. can you fucking imagine. ‘you stinky so im just gonna call u’. the audacity.

The Manticore felt close as flame.

👈😎👈

god do i have to do this for every reference to fire now. i mean yes. also but. why.

okays theres a bit here. theres a Bit. it ends like this

In every story, the witch and the dragon were enemies.

but this Bit is just fucking loaded to the gills with bloody 👈👈👈👈👈👈😎👈👈👈👈👈 so im just. ACKNOWLEDGING THE BIT AND MOVING ON. OKAY WE’RE MOVING ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Her Scroll made a sound like fractured glass against the wall.

me: stop talking abt how much u like the narration also me: but do the people KNOW

The smooth metal was badly cracked. She tried to remember when that had happened.

did you know the concept of her having a cracked Scroll is giving me more anxiety than anything else in this fic. please can someone replace it cracked screens STRESS ME OUT--

this bit i have to depict as a screenshot but god. GOD. its SO GOOD:

u ever read a fic and be like ‘i wanna like. do smthng like that’ ME W/ THIS. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. ITS JUST THE LITTLE THINGS!!!!

“You have to stop... You’re going to kill me.”

everyone else reading this part, probably: oof ough me: SHES KILLING ME TOO BABE!!!!!!! WOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THIS INHUMAN SHIT HELL YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYONE LOOK AT THESE TWO ASSHOLES WHO ARE LIKE THE POLAR OPPOSITE OF NORMAL PEOPLE IM THRILLED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

like srsly idk what it is. but getting into all this fuckin crazy shit has me AMPED AS FUCK... i love this weird shit,,,,,,,,, like when og offal hunt kinda touched it i was like ‘nice’ but this version is just. swan-diving into it butt-first and i’m THRIVING.

“We—We’ll talk. Just stop. Please.” 

see i was thinking this when she was ignoring her msgs like. cinder are you aware you are. how they say. actively making it worse? and now she reaps what shes sown and i dont feel bad for her AT ALL ~~~~~~~~~~~

“You can’t imagine what the last three weeks have been like. I can barely sleep when you’re in the same town, did you know that? It’s like swallowing salt… I feel pickled, and I didn’t even think your soul could affect me—"

theres smthng rly poetic abt their suffering being like. directly interlinked but having the total opposite effect to the other? so glynda suffers and basically caves in and feels nothing and cinder suffers and feels Every Bad Feeling Ever Felt and i just. hm. soulmates. JHGDSFJGHKDF

“Close to her, and now you,” Cinder insisted. “It’s too much of a coincidence. I’m just reading what’s there.”

“remnant is probably flat,” says cinder. “i’m just saying what my eyes see.”

She stowed it away next to Vivienne's, in a place where she would never lose them. In a million years, she would never lose them.

hey when does cinder’s name go there too asking for a friend the friend is me

i feel like bacia’s also been name dropped early!!! which is nice because y’all know im, how the kids say, a Slut for lore. anyway im liking the stronger implications of her ties to 👈😎👈 which im also thrilled abt so theres that too

“Maybe not." It was the tone of someone who didn't care. Who didn't love her.

THATS. HM. THATS AN INTERESTING ADDITION ON THE END OF THAT LINE. HM. HELLO? HM. HM. am i reading too much into it PROBABLY do i care NO

“Yes,” Glynda said. “Goodnight, Cinder.” Glynda heard Cinder’s hesitance. The line went dead.

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM--

AND WE REACH THE END. boy was that a surprisingly action-packed chapter considering they dont. do anything. A HALLMARK OF GOOD WRITING. anyway this is probably? my fav chapter so far (WILD) and i am PUMPED to see how much Weirder this whole things gonna get so with that said, im gonna sit here and WAIT FOR IT.

[ktrsss1fics]

i got u: one.

i. gap

Fearne Phillips was a bitch.

That’s what the guy who hit on her last Christmas at a sweets shop in Surrey said when she wouldn’t give him her number.

That’s what Simon Elliott cried when she broke his arm for calling her best friend fat.

That’s what the media thought when she refused to speak about why her relationship with Louis Tomlinson had ended.

That’s what Jessica from Teen Scene Magazine was currently thinking when she refused to give young girls tips on how to seduce men.

Fearne Phillips was one of a kind. She wasn’t afraid to speak her mind. If she was uncomfortable, she was going to let you know. Most people called her reckless for it. Others called her iconic. She didn’t see herself as either of those things.

She saw herself as one thing: tired. Tired of having to be perfect. Tired of having to be prim and proper. Tired of being told what the projected sales and media trends would be if she acted a certain way. She just wanted to be Fearne.

She wouldn’t get to be that for another month. She had a few more festivals to get through before she had an entire year off. She couldn’t believe it.

Fearne had signed a record deal at eighteen and essentially grew up in the spotlight. They saw her through the good, the bad, and the ugly. That decade of stardom had its ups and downs. The worst of it was five years ago when things started to go south with the love of her life.

Sometimes things don’t always work out according to plan. That job at that high profile modeling agency is less about fashion and more about having the ability to memorize multiple coffee orders.  That asymmetrical bob that looked adorable on the girl on the train somehow got turned into a shaggy looking bowl cut. That attractive guy from accounting who said he was actually going to call doesn’t end up calling.

Long distance relationships are one of those things that don’t always work out as they should. Three little words are whispered through telephone lines instead of being said face to face. Beds are shared with computer screens instead of warm bodies. Feelings of contentment are replaced by worry and doubt.

Relationships become plagued with catastrophic fights about minuscule things. Calls start to get shorter and text messages begin to stop. That feeling of love once shared starts to dwindle down to nothing.

A type of exhaustion sets in that never can be satisfied. It doesn’t go away with a weekend in bed or trip back home. It settles. It latches onto every fiber and festers until it’s too late. The mind, body, and soul become infected and a monster is created. Once it’s released, there is no hope for humanity.

Fearne Phillips and Louis Tomlinson knew that monster too well. It’s what started to transform after four long years of a relationship on the road. She was never home and he could never get away.  The lack of affection and time spent together took its toll on the young couple. Before they knew it, it was over.

It didn’t just end though. It blew up. It was plastered over every tabloid magazine in the country. It was broadcasted on the morning news. It was all over the Internet for her to relive day in and day out.

That first year was the hardest. She lost herself completely. She broke his heart and she could never forgive herself for it. Why? Because Louis Tomlinson was the greatest man she had ever met and he didn’t deserve what she put him through. He deserved better and always would.

As time moved on, the only things she could rely on to keep her from falling apart again were her friends and her job. Her soul sister, Samantha Jane, fought off any man who tried to get close to her while her manager, Declan, did his best to keep her focused on her music. Her older brother, Archie, was just along for the ride. When the going got tough, he stepped in and nursed his baby sister back to health. She didn’t know what she’d do without them.

Every year, she found a way to repay them for putting up with her. This year she managed to get them VIP passes to a handful of festivals throughout the UK. They were currently attending the Glastonbury Festival. Well, Samantha Jane and Archie were attending the festival. Fearne was on the clock. She had been tucked away in an oversized tent answering the same five questions for various media publications. She wouldn’t get to join them until after her set.

Declan did his best to keep her happy but she wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone else. She needed a recharge. The last one did her head in.

“I’m not doin’ another one.” Fearne looked over at the bearded man beside her. “I’m done.”

“I’m takin’ care of it,” Declan said — thumbs flying as he typed away on his phone. “Got her editor’s number. She’s a friend of Jimmy.”

“That was just bull shit.” She said. “I didn’t overreact, did I?”

“Shite reporting.” Declan glances up. “If you were a twenty-eight-year-old lad, you’d be labeled a legend... absolutely killing it.”

“Right?” Fearne ran her hands over her face. “Made me come off as a proper slag. I don’t even know any of those men. Would you want your niece to read an article where her favorite celebrity tells her how to sleep around with men? I know I wouldn’t.”

“I’ll take care of it, Fearnie. Don’t worry pet.” Declan winked. “Now head toward the end of the tent.”

“I’m not doing another interview.” She sighed looking up at him. “I will punch someone.”

“It’s with Radio 1,” Declan explained. “Probably with Scott who you haven’t seen in ages. He won’t do anything to harm ya.”

Fearne thought about it for a moment. “ I do like Scott.”

“And you won’t punch him because he’s a good man. You’ll be fine.” Declan said urging her to start walking.

“I just want to clarify that I wouldn’t be upset if she hadn’t been so rude. Young women should know how to navigate the dating world but they shouldn’t be treated as if their only important role in life is to be a side piece for a man.”

“Yeah, yeah all that feminist shite,” Declan mumbled dryly.

Fearne shoved him playfully. “Fuck right off, Declan Jay.”

“Easy there, Pip Squeak.” He said stabilizing himself.

“I just don’t like people who make female celebrities out to be tarts because they’ve got male friends. I’m more than that.” She sighed.

“You do know you don’t need the validation of some teenage tabloid, right? You’re Fearne motherfucking Phillips.” Declan said with a cheesy grin. “The girl who nearly got kicked of secondary school for getting her nose pierced. The girl who sold out the O2 four nights in a row during her first arena tour. The girl who outlasted every single guy on Lads on Tour last summer.”

He continued, “Lionesses like you shouldn’t worry about sheep like her.”

Fearne opened her mouth to say something but decided to walk away instead. Sometimes that man knew exactly what to say to help her refocus. She decided to give him what he wanted. She made her way towards the northern end of the tent to a table dedicated to the BBC’s finest radio station. Declan started to ramble on about how lovely women were in hopes of making her feel better. He didn’t need to say anything but she appreciated that he had.

“Fuck.”

Declan stopped abruptly leaving the woman standing beside him confused. Without saying another word, the six-foot-tall man wedged his body between her and their destination.

“What the fuck, Deco?” Fearne asked.

“Mental health check.” He said crossing his arms over his chest. “0-10, how we doin?”

“I’m fine.” She said not understanding his sudden change in mood.

“That’s not a number.” Declan sighed.

“Why? What’d you see?” Fearne asked attempting to look over his shoulder.

“Just want to make sure me girl is fine after that last one,” Declan explained. “Have you calmed down a bit?”

“Oh, I’m still annoyed but —“ Fearne said standing on the tips of her toes trying to look over his shoulder.

“Need a number Fearnie.” He said calmly.

“Bout a six.” She said knowing that anything lower would set off the alarm bells.

“Good.” He nodded before handing over her phone. “Text Arch and SJ bout what they’re up to now, yeah?”

Fearne smiled swiping her cell phone from his hand.

“Promise you’re gonna stay at a six no matter what happens?” Declan asked.

“I’ll try me best,” Fearne said, eyes glued to her phone. “Don’t know what you’re so worried about Deco.”

“Horan’s here,” Declan said relaxing a bit.

“When is he ever not here? He loves this festival.” Fearne said smirking at something her best friend had sent. “Where’d ya see him?”

Declan nodded behind him. “At the Booth.”

Fearne looked up. “He is the most efficient producer at the BBC so that makes sense.”

“You’re going to have to speak to him,” Declan said. “Still gonna be a six?”

“Niall Horan is a ray of sunshine,” Fearne said still not getting what the big deal was. “I’m fine. I’ll be fine. I promise.”

“Fearnie, I need you to —“ Declan started to say.

“Give me five more minutes with Samantha Jane and I’ll do whatever you want. Okay? You go check in or whatever it is you do and I’ll be your perfect pop star.” She said with a weak smile.

Declan didn’t respond. He turned around and headed toward the makeshift radio studio. He was on edge. Niall Horan was a legend. He always brought the party wherever he went. He also was the sole producer of the show Fearne’s ex-boyfriend hosted. The two were rarely seen without each other — especially during festival season.

Before he had a chance to scope out who was working, a firm hand latched onto Declan’s shoulder. He turned around to find a dark-haired Irishman smiling back at him.

“Well look who the fuck it is.” Niall’s thick Irish accent called out.

“Are you ever not working?” Declan joked as he pulled his old friend into a hug.

“You should know I’d never miss out on the Bury, Deco,” Niall said with a laugh.

The two friends briefly caught up as arrangements were made for the interview. Stories about touring and family members were shared between the men. The reason they were connected was carefully being avoided. Declan knew he needed to bring it up but was worried about the answer.

“So um, is he here?” Declan said in a low voice.

“Yeah but he’s not doing the interview. I uh made sure of it. It’s Matt.” Niall said softly. “How’s she doing?”

“Just came out of a rough one so I need something to cheer her up,” Declan said glancing over at Fearne.

“The lads went to the loo so it’ll be a bit but we’ll take care of our girl.” Niall smiled. “Don’t worry.”

“Thanks, Ni.” Declan nodded.

“Just looking out for both of ‘em,” Niall said.

“Fearne,” Declan called out.

Fearne looked up from her phone and found two sets of eyes watching her closely. She put a brave face on and headed towards them. One more interview to go and she’d be free. One more interview with her ex-boyfriend’s best friend and she’d be free. She could do it. She knew she could.

“Fearne Phillips, who’d ya sell your soul to because you haven’t aged a day, love,”  Niall said with a smirk.

“If I told ya, I’d have to kill ya,” Fearne said stepping into his warm embrace.

“I can’t believe this motherfucker is still your minder. Would have ditched him ages ago.” Niall said as he squeezed her tight.

“Ehh, I’ve grown quite fond of him,” Fearne said with a smile. “Lets me do whatever I want.”

“Oh, I believe that.” He smiled.

Fearne stepped back, “I like the hair change. Suits you.”

“Makes me more distinguished,” Niall said before leaning in close. “All the birds are into it.”

She couldn’t help but laugh. “Haven’t changed a bit, Ni.”

“I have to get shit ready so why don’t you take a seat on the ol’ sofa and I’ll let you know when we’re all queued up.” He said with a wink.

Fearne looked over to find a lumpy old couch with two teal pillows sitting across from a makeshift soundboard. Heat rushed to her cheeks. She had some very fond memories from a couch that looked almost identical to the one staring back at her.

“Ni is this —-“ Fearne started to ask.

“Fuck no.” Niall cackled. “We got rid of it after um that.”

“Oh… well, it wasn’t that comfortable anyways.” She said shyly.

“He begs to differ,” Niall said with a smirk.

“How’s he doing?” Fearne asked — surprised at the words that had just come out. She didn’t know whether she was being polite or if she genuinely cared. She hadn’t thought about him in a while.

Declan and Niall looked just as surprised as she did.

“Still the same pain in the ass we know and love,” Niall said with a small smile.

“I wouldn’t expect anything else.” She smiled going back to the messages on her phone. She needed to prevent herself from saying anything else unexpected.

Fearne Phillips hadn’t thought about Louis in about a year. She’d see his face when certain songs would come on the radio. She’d hear his laugh when certain jokes were told. But she hadn’t seriously thought about the man she had loved in quite some time. She did wonder how he was but never intended on asking about him. She wasn’t the type to fawn over exes. After the breakup, she would move on as quickly as she could. Louis was different though. He was her best friend.

Seeing Niall was a great reminder of those days.

She was in the middle of explaining what had happened to her brother and best friend when she noticed a group form at the table across from her. Hushed voices were talking quickly. Something was wrong but she wasn’t going to let it get to her. She promised Declan she would stay at a six and that was one promise she couldn’t afford to break.

Her phone started to blow up as her two favorite people started weighing in on the situation at hand. She knew she could count on them to keep her distracted and that’s exactly what they did.

“Now then, let’s get this show on the road, Phillips.” A voice called out pulling her away from the conversation on her phone.

As she looked up, she couldn’t believe her eyes. Standing in front of her in a pair of muddy wellies was a man she hadn’t spoken to in ages. A man she dedicated two entire albums and an endless amount of notebooks to. A man whose face was now covered in facial hair and laughter lines. A man she had truly missed.

“Tommo,” She beamed taking her in ex-boyfriend’s appearance. “What the fuck are you wearin’ mate?”

“What?” The young man asked looking down at his outfit. “I look goddamn sexy, Phillips.”

Fearne shook her head standing up. “Look like you should be helping me nan with her back garden.”

“Oh fuck you.” Louis chuckled before pulling her into his arms for a hug. Her body effortlessly molded into the places that used to be called home. Everyone around them stood with bated breath unsure of how this interaction was going to turn out.

“Are you giving the interview then?” Fearne asked forcing herself to let go of his body.

Louis fought through a fake smile. “Unfortunately.”

Her hazel eyes lit up. “This is going to be brilliant.”

Something about the way she spoke caught Louis’ attention. She seemed tired and on edge. It had been a while but that man knew her better than anyone else. His eyes scanned her face for answers but fell short.

“Whatcha lookin’ at punk?” She said narrowing her eyes at him playfully.

He shook his head before stepping in close, “Y’alright?”

“I’m fab Lou.” She faked a smile. He didn’t buy it. Before he could dig a little deeper, papers were shoved in his face as a camera was slowly being set up.

Work was to be done.

Louis slid into the spot beside her on the couch. He rested his elbows on the tops of his legs as he studied the list of questions he was supposed to be asking. Fearne studied his face. She almost couldn’t believe it. His boyish features were no longer present. A week’s worth of stubble and some late nights in the studio had left him looking much older.

As he looked up to ask Niall a question, Fearne got a glimpse of his baby blue eyes. They were just as warm and inviting as they used to be but something was a bit off. She knew the look in his eyes all too well. It was the same look he had when he met her dad for the first time. It was the look he had on their first weekend away together. It was the same look he had the night he told her he loved her.

Despite his efforts to try to play it cool, there was no denying he was nervous.

Hoping to remedy the situation, Fearne nudged his leg gently with her own. His eyes left the commotion surrounding them and focused on her.  

“See anyone play yet?” She asked with an inviting smile.  

He knew what she was trying to do. He appreciated it. A wave of nerves had hit him when Matt said he couldn’t do the interview. He didn’t think he could do it either.

Fearne Phillips wasn’t just another musician at a festival that he needed to interview. She was his greatest love story. Every memory from his twenties had her in it. He didn’t need to fall in love ever again because nothing could compare to the time he spent with her.

Once they split, those memories were too much to handle. Her music disappeared from his show. Her albums sat on his shelf unopened. He couldn’t bring himself to be around things that reminded him of her. He wasn’t strong enough.

Seeing her after all this time was unlike anything he had ever imagined. His pulse began to race, butterflies took flight, and every day spent missing her seemed worth it.

“I went with Fiona and Jack to see Cage earlier and I saw a bit of Cold War Kids but that’s it.” He said putting on a fake smile. “What about you?”

“I’ve been stuck in here all morning.” She said sounding disappointed. “Probably won’t see anyone until after I get off stage.”

“You need to fire that minder of yours,” Louis said glancing over at Declan. “He’s overworking you.”

“Tell me about it.” She sighed.

“You sure you’re okay?” He said in a low voice.

Fearne raised an eyebrow. “Are you?”

“S’been a bit. Just nerves.” He grinned shyly.

“It’s just me, Lou,” Fearne said.

“Yeah, multi-platinum award-winning international superstar Fearne Phillips,” Louis said glancing down at his sheet of paper.

“Oh, you mean the same Fearne Phillips who can’t figure out how to build a fucking bookcase.” She said with a smirk.

His face lit up. “You still have it?”

“All me books are in piles on the floor. Samantha Jane nearly wrecks them every time she’s drunk.” Fearne admitted shyly. “The wood bits are under my bed. I’m convinced they didn’t put all the pieces in the box as a ploy to get me to buy another one.”

Louis bit back a smile. Three weeks after they met, Fearne bought a bookcase for the flat she shared with Samantha Jane. The girls were on an independence kick. They wanted to prove they could do things on their own. Samantha Jane orchestrated the completion of a bathroom remodel while Fearne focused on furniture. She got everything done but the bookcase.

One Friday night, he attempted to ask her out on a proper date but she asked if he wanted to come over instead. She rambled on about their new flat and her struggles with the furniture and how she couldn’t let her brother know she needed help. Without a second thought, Louis picked up a pizza and made his way over to help.

Things had been going well. He was already smitten and it hadn’t been that long. When they were almost finished, Louis realized he needed to figure out a way to continue seeing Fearne. Thinking on his feet, he slipped a piece of hardware into his pocket when she had left to get another beer from the kitchen. If it was missing, she couldn’t finish the job. If she couldn’t finish the job, he figured she’d be in need of his help once more.

Five years and one hell of a ride later, that piece of hardware was still buried in the drawer of his bedside table.

“Why not throw it out?” Louis asked genuinely curious as to why she kept it. He had asked himself the same question plenty of times. There was never a good enough reason to do so.

Fearne just shrugged. “Stubborn, I guess.”

“Fuckin’ Northerners.” He shook his head.

“They’re the worst.” She smiled. “Right?”

Louis laughed. “The fucking worst. All about their footie and Oasis.”

Her eyes lit up causing a smirk to form on his face. “You shut your bastard mouth, Tomlinson.”

“Oi love birds, we’ve got bad news.” Niall interrupted. “The camera isn’t working so it’s only audio.”

“Not a problem,” Fearne replied. “No one really needs to see my manky ol’ wellies anyways.”

“What she really means is her manky ol’ mug.” Louis popped off playfully.

Fearne glared at the man sitting across from her. “Like you should be talking, garden gnome.”

His mouth hung open in shock as she giggled to herself. Before he could defend his wardrobe choice, he was forced to get the interview started. He shot her a glare before clearing his throat and testing the microphone.

“Testing, testing. Tommo’s about to interview the biggest brat at Glastonbury.” He enunciated.

“How very dare you.” Fearne glared making the boys around her laugh.

Getting the all clear from Niall, Louis cleared his throat and went into interviewer mode.

“We are at the Glastonbury Festival with the ever so lovely Fearne Phillips,” Louis said as his crew cheered.

“Oi oi,” Fearne replied with a genuine smile on her face.

“You’ve got to talk into the microphone, love.” Louis teased. “S’not like you been doin’ this all morning.”

Her face lit up at his jesting. A playful glare and bare middle finger made their way into the interview.

“Anyways, y’alright Fearnie?” He asked with a smile.

“Doin’ just fine Lou.” She replied with a nod. “You?”

“Couldn’t be better.” He blushed. “How’s the festival been treatin’ ya so far?”

“So far so good. Nothing beats festival season if you ask me.”

“I hear that.” He laughed. “This year’s lineup is pretty ace and I’m told that’s why it sold out in a matter of minutes. Anyone you’re looking forward to seeing?”

“The  highlights so far have definitely been The Wombats and Wiley.” She said adjusting the microphone in her hand. “Today will probably be The Kooks if I can make it happen.”

His eyes locked with hers. That was their band. The first band they saw together. The band that constantly crept in and out of their relationship. They couldn’t listen to a song without thinking of each other.

“Think they’re gonna pay ‘Gap’?” He asked with a smirk.

Fearne rolled her eyes. Every single time they saw The Kooks play, Louis made a bet on whether or not they’d play his favorite song. The reward always changed but his side never did. Unfortunately, he was always wrong.

“Mate, come off it. You’re never gonna hear ‘em play ‘Gap’ live.” She said with a grin. “Just not meant to be.”

“I think it’ll happen. So, what’s on the setlist for you today? Anything off the new album? Or are we sticking to the classics?” He said smoothly navigating the conservation in another direction.

“Um, well it’s a bit of both. A few oldies might make their way back on stage. A lot from the album we just toured with.” She said trying to picture the list of songs she had decided on. “I actually have a brand new song that I was hoping to test out.”

“Oh my days, you heard it here folks. Everyone at Glastonbury is going to get a Fearne Phillips exclusive.” He teased. “Is this the first time it’s going to be heard by virgin ears?”

“I mean my brother has heard it at least twenty times so…”

Louis couldn’t help but laugh. “I don’t think he’ll appreciate that one. Arch, I’ll make sure Ni edits that out for ya, mate.”

“I’ve had to endure his obnoxious snoring for the past three days. He can handle some teasing — it’s the least he could do.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute. Arch is here?” He asked sounding surprised.

Fearne shook her head, “I should not have told you that.”

Louis’ eyes crinkled as a knowing smile took form. The bromance that had formed between him and Fearne’s brother was unlike any other. Whenever they were together chaos ensued. They had tried to keep in touch after the break-up but it was too difficult.

“Um, I think it’s time to wrap this up, Fearnie. Another Phillips needs to my attention.” Louis said with a playful wink.

“He’ll be going on about that for weeks.” Fearne laughed.

“Good.” He grinned. “We all know you are a veteran of the festival. What are some tips and tricks you’ve learned through the years that some of us more novice attendees should know?”

“I’m amused that you consider yourself a novice, but um make sure you stay hydrated throughout the day. Come with a group you won’t get angry with after five minutes of being with them.” Fearne said trying to think of advice she’d want to hear. “Keep a list of set times and emergency contacts accessible at all times.”

Louis opened his mouth but she quickly cut him off.

“Oh, and don’t take an open bevvy from anyone you don’t know!” She rattled off quickly.

His eyes crinkled as he bit back a smile. She hadn’t changed a bit. Before he could tease her for her maternal instincts, a hand signal was given meaning he needed to move a little quicker. He started asking questions sent in by fans. Before the pair of exes knew it, the interview was over.

“That’s a wrap,” Niall said leaning over the portable soundboard. “Well done.”

“What’s next for you?” Louis asked as a couple of interns started to gather up the microphones.

“More bull shit.” She mumbled leaning forward. “That I really don’t want to do.”

“Why haven’t you fired him?” Louis said his voice low and concerned. “He always does this to you.”

“He’s been me best mate for ages. It’s not all his fault. The team expects the moon.”

Louis shook his head. She really hadn’t changed. She was still the same girl who worked too hard for people who could care less. She was constantly being thrown in a thousand directions and never got a chance to take a break.

“Interview before you wanted me to give teenage girls advice on how to pick up men.” She said sounding glum. “Said nothing about my foundation or charity work. Nothing about how my profits for the last two tours went to music education and girls’ clubs throughout the UK.”

She turned towards him. “You were photographed with this man, this man, and this man. How’d you get them in the sack, Fearne? Give our readers a tutorial on how to lure babes in.”

“I’m fucking tired, Tommo.” She sighed. “Same ol’ shit.”

The exhaustion in her voice ripped him apart.

He reached over to comfort her but stopped halfway. He didn’t know if he should. That wasn’t his job anymore. He wasn’t her protector or confidante. He was the one who threw in the towel when things got rough. He was the one who left her in a hotel room in New York because he couldn’t do it anymore. He couldn’t be in a relationship with an empty bed relying heavily on FaceTime calls and red-eye flights.

He couldn’t be the man she needed and that killed him.

Louis knew he needed to say something though. The look on her face was a look he had seen on more than one occasion. He knew she needed to know that someone was in her corner — that someone was proud of her. However, he didn’t know how much merit he held when it came to Fearne Phillips Fan Club.

He opened his mouth to say something but Declan snagged her attention away. He rambled on about potentially squeezing one more interview in. Fearne tried to argue but her manager wasn’t having it. It’s what the team wanted. His phone started to ring putting a pause in the conversation.

“Have you eaten?” Louis asked pulling her attention away from the situation that was taking place.

She shook her head. “I’m supposed to meet up with SJ and Arch after this.”

“Don’t let him make you do anything else without eating.” He said softly. “The mini shepherd's pies at the booth by the toilets are just like the ones back home. I highly recommend them.”

“I really just want chips. Do they have them?” She asked sounding hopeful.

“Yeah pretty decent too —especially with a pint.”

“Can’t have one of those yet. Still on duty.” Fearne groaned.

“Same here.” Louis smiled.

“What’s on the books for the rest of the day?” She asked trying to take the attention off her.

“A few more interviews and then just chillin’.” He said making her smile.

“You seriously have the life, mate,” Fearne said.

“Best job in the world.” He winked.

“Tell me about it.” She said with a grin.

“What times your set today?” He asked cautiously.

“Five,” Fearne said mid-yawn. “Or so I’m told.”

“Excited for it?” Louis asked.

“Are you always in interview mode?” Niall asked walking by. “Give the girl a break.”

“Yeah, give the girl a break.” Fearne laughed leaning back against the couch.

“Fuck off.” Louis blushed. “Both of ya.”

The pair of adults sat quietly for a few moments watching people work around them. Declan stood off to the side with his phone pressed to his ear. Niall was glued to his laptop trying to fix some kind of recording issue.

“Arch is going to be so happy to see you,” Fearne said.

“Missed that man,” Louis said turning towards her.

Fearne yawned again. “Think Deco will notice if I slip away for a quick snooze?”

“Ehh I’d give him about fifteen minutes before he actually notices,” Louis said leaning against the back of the couch. “I’ll create a diversion for you.”

“You’re the real MVP, Lou.” Fearne smiled.

“Kooks are on at seven, yeah?” He asked with a yawn.

“Uh, I think so.” She yawned back before closing her eyes.

“You really don’t think they are gonna play ‘Gap’?” Louis asked watching her face. She was even more gorgeous than he remembered.

“When have they ever?” She replied.

He scanned her face once more before responding, “You never know anything could happen.”

“Fearne, we have to — shit… is she asleep?” Declan’s voice called out from in front of them.

“Come back in twenty and she’ll be ready to go,” Louis said taking his eyes off the woman beside her.

“Fearne, we have to go. Russell wants a quick word.” Declan said walking towards the couch.

“Tell Russell he can fuck off,” Fearne replied dryly.

“He writes my checks so I can’t do that,” Declan said as he slipped his phone into his pocket.

“Actually, mate, she’s the one who writes your checks.” Louis nodded towards Fearne. “Without this one, you lot wouldn’t have jobs.”

A small smile formed on Fearne’s face as she opened one eye to look at the man sitting beside her. If there was one thing she loved about Louis Tomlinson, it was his ability to stick up for the people he cared about. No matter what the circumstances where, if you meant something to him, he’d have your back for life. It was nice to see that despite everything that had happened between them, when it came down to it, he still cared.

“Easy there, Lou. We all know how this fight ends.” Fearne said patting him on the leg.

“Still doesn’t make it right.” He mumbled shyly.

“We need to go,” Declan said ignoring whatever moment was being shared.

“I’m not doing anything until I get food,” Fearne said as she stood up. A smug smirk formed on Louis’ face. He always liked when she took his advice and stood up for herself.

“We have to talk to —“ Declan started to say.

“Fuck Russell. I’m starving.” She said placing her hands on her hips. “I’m eating with my brother and SJ. Fuck I’ll even take eating with Tommo and Ni. I need food.”

“Diva,” Declan mumbled as he pulled out his phone to send a quick update to her team.

“Up for some grub?” Fearne asked nodding at Louis.

“You American now?” Louis teased making her blush.

“Lived in LA for a month and she thinks she’s a Yank.” Declan joked — eyes never leaving his phone.

Louis laughed at the light jesting.

“Fuck you,” Fearne mumbled shyly.

“Tommo, we are about twenty minutes out for the next one,” Niall called over to him.

“So that’s a no on food,” Fearne said with a weak smile.

“Kooks at seven?” Louis asked as he stood up.

“If I can make it, yeah,” Fearne said leaning in for the hug.

“Brilliant,” Louis said as he wrapped his arms around her.

“Good to see you, Lou.” She whispered in his ear.

“You too, Fearnie,” Louis whispered back.

And like that, she was gone.

Louis stood quietly as his mind attempted to process what had just happened.

Niall walked over and closed the space between them. He patted Louis’ side gently. “Talk to me.”

“Did that really just happen?” Louis asked — his voice low and full of disbelief.

“It’s just Fearnie,” Niall said. “You can breathe now.”

Louis exhaled loudly as he turned towards his best friend. They had talked about this moment hypothetically on weekends away and drunken nights out. Never in a million years had he anticipated running into her again. He had made a point to avoid her at all costs. He just couldn’t bear the thought of seeing her after everything that happened. It hurt too much.

“You did good.” Niall smiled. “Take a ten and call Mum, yeah?”

“She’s in the middle of the lunch rush at the diner,” Louis said checking the time on his phone. “And besides, a woman like Fearne Phillips deserves more than a ten-minute analysis with Sadie.”

“Okay,” Niall said gnawing on his lower lip. “Um, tell me what you need. A break? A pint?”

“I-I-I don’t know,” Louis stuttered not sure what he needed to do to get his heart to stop pounding. He cleared his throat and looked around the tent. “Let’s just go on with the show and deal with it later.”

“Lou--” Niall sighed.

Louis faked a smile and patted his best friend on the stomach. “I’ll be fine. Promise.”

“Fuck, Tommo. We don’t need a repeat of--” Niall started to say as Louis placed a hand on the Irishman’s shoulder.

“S’not gonna be like last time,” Louis said unconvincingly. “Let’s just uh focus on the next interview.”

“Alright.” Niall sighed. “If you need a minute, you have to tell me.”

“Ni, fuck off.” Louis smiled. “I’m good.”

But Louis Tomlinson wasn’t good. His body went into autopilot for the rest of the evening. Cheeky banter, a flirtatious wink, and his outspoken behavior were thrown into each remaining interviews. The show went on as usual.

Louis Tomlinson’s mind, however, was nowhere near the musical festival. It was grounded at Customs at Heathrow the day things ended. It danced around that chippery in Brighton they went to in the summer. It flew across the States making pit stops in Denial and Despair. It sat on his mum’s couch as she laid into him for giving up so easily. It froze when it remembered the way she would stare at him when he told a story — as if she’d never heard anything like it. It stressed over what he was to do next.

Did he call his mother? Did he get drunk and try to forget the woman who was unforgettable? Or did he give in to his desires and watch her play for the first time in ages?

Because that’s really what he wanted to do. As soon as she walked away, he wanted to be beside her. He wanted to hear her sing and watch her perform. He wanted to make her laugh and have her call him a bastard when the tiniest things inconvenienced her. He wanted so many things that he hadn’t wanted in years and that was terrifying.

Louis couldn’t believe what he was about to witness. It took three pints and two shepherd’s pies to convince himself to walk across the venue to stand side stage for one of the biggest acts in all of England. He was hoping the liquid courage would get him through the songs he knew were about him and the ones he hadn’t heard yet.

“You sure about this, Lou?” Niall asked as they claimed their spot.

Louis laughed nervously, “Not in the slightest.”

“We can uh go hang around until it’s time for The Kooks.” Niall offered knowing this was a big step for his best friend.

The drum kits were being switched out as the crowd started to grow in size. The two men shuffled out of the way as crew members worked as quickly as they could to get things ready.

“I am at a music festival and ‘ve barely seen anyone play. Can we please just watch a set?” Louis groaned annoyed.

“We can go pick another one,” Niall said. “I’m sure some indie group is playing across the way.”

“You knew as soon as I saw her I was going to be drawn in again,” Louis said. “Haven’t listened to her sing in five years. First thing I thought of when she walked away was that I’m going to see her set today. Don’t know what it is about her, Ni, but I have to be here.”

Niall nodded knowing it was inevitable. Once Louis set his mind on something he rarely changed it. “Can you give me a signal if it gets to be too much?”

“God, you sound just like Liv.” Louis laughed thinking of his sister.

“Why’s that?” Niall asked confused.

“Ever since she was twelve, Olivia decided she needed to look after her big brother,” Louis explained. “Mum was busy with the diner. Dad was non-existent. When I’d come home from uni, I’d try to make sure things were in order around the house. Liv would always try to take care of me.”

“On my first Fearneless Christmas, we went to me Uncle Tim’s house. I drove Liv while Mum drove the others. She was going to stay at Aunt Margie’s while me and the girls headed down to Dad’s.” Louis continued. “No one really said anything but they were keeping an eye on me. Liv told me that if I needed a break to come squeeze her elbow and she’d intervene.”

“She’s a smart kid.” Niall smiled. “How’d that turn out for you?”

“Pop and Gran knew better to bring it up. Aunt Margie gave me a little cuddle when we finally went inside. Fuckin’ Uncle Tim and his twat of a girlfriend were only concerned with what I was going to sell to the media about the relationship. ‘Did Fearne do this? Did Fearne do that?’ Absolute bull shit.”

“It didn’t get to me until his girlfriend’s daughter started to slag her off. It took one squeeze and Liv was making an excuse to get us both outside. She stole me keys and drove us to a park nearby. I cried in the passenger seat and she just let me. She didn’t try to make things better. She didn’t try to change the subject. She just let me know it was going to get better.”

Niall couldn’t help but smile at the heartwarming story. The bond between Louis and his siblings was truly one of a kind.

“She’s gonna flip when she hears about how today went,” Louis said with a soft smile.

Guitars were being brought in and an ancient looking rug was being placed center stage.

“How bad are the songs?” Louis asked in a hushed tone.

“Nothing you can’t handle,” Niall said. “We still haven’t talked about earlier.”

“Can’t we just debrief tomorrow morning like we do every festival?” Louis asked rolling his eyes — not wanting to have analyze everything that had happened earlier in the day.

“This isn’t like every festival.” Niall pointed out.

“I survived the interview. I can survive the set.” Louis said trying to convince himself more than anything.

“You sure about that Tomlinson?” The voice of a woman he never thought he’d run into again said from beside him.

Standing in all her glory was Fearne's best friend, Samantha Jane Wilkinson.

“Sammy J!” Niall cheered as he made his way towards the tall blonde. “Lookin’ good babes.”

“You are like a fine wine, Horan.” The woman said kissing his cheek. “Better with age.”

Niall Horan’s infamous laugh filled the air as she moved towards Louis. Without saying a word, she pulled him into a hug. He placed a brief kiss on her cheek before saying hello.

“So Tommo, who the fuck did you bribe at the BBC to get that interview with Fearnie earlier?” She asked as she pulled away.

“No one,” Louis said feeling his chest grow tight. He knew how her mind worked and he couldn’t say that he had missed it.

Samantha Jane had always been overprotective of Fearne and wary of anyone who got too close. Her brash and boisterous attitude constantly clashed with Louis’ causing a love-hate relationship to form between the two.

“Really?” Samantha Jane asked unimpressed.

“Matt had some dodgy meat and is still shitting his brains out as we speak,” Louis explained.

“Right.” She replied dryly.

“Go check the loo for yourself,” Niall said trying to help Louis out. “I had it planned so they’d never see each other.”

“So it was fate, then?” Samantha Jane tilted her head. “Interesting.”

“How ya been, babe?” Niall asked trying to change the subject. Louis didn’t need this kind of talk filling his already confused head.

“Fab. Just livin’ the life.” She smiled sadly. Both men took note of it. “How bout you guys?”

“Can’t complain. Living the dream every day.” Niall said rocking back on his heels.

“Just keepin’ busy,” Louis said.

“If you want to see Arch, he usually stands on the other side.” Samantha Jane pointed out.

“Oh yeah?” Louis asked turning his attention to the opposite side of the stage. Fearne’s older brother stood with a drink in his hand as he talked to a pair of blondes.

“Him and Fucktard don’t let me near them when she’s on stage.” She explained.

Louis turned towards her confused, “Why?”

“No idea.” Samantha Jane sighed. “It’s Declan’s doing. Apparently, I’m a distraction.”

“Why the fuck is that man still around?” Louis crossed his arms over chest.

“You know how she is.” The woman sighed as she settled into a spot beside him. “The team thinks he’s good at his job and we’ve been mates since we were in nappies so he’s here for good.”

“Fucking bull shit, if you ask me,” Louis mumbled.

“At least that’s something we still agree on.” She said.

A small huddle formed near the stairs leading up to the stage. Microphones were being checked while a sea of people waited anxiously for Fearne and her band to take the stage. Louis almost couldn’t believe his eyes at the size of the crowd that had formed. If there was anyone that deserved that kind of recognition, it was her.

Before he could get caught up in the insanity of it all, Louis felt someone nudge him. The blonde woman beside him moved a bit closer to him before speaking in a low tone.

“Don’t know what you did, Lou.” She said placing a hand on his shoulder. “She came back like a bloody schoolgirl.”

“I-I-I didn’t do anything.” Louis sputtered.

“She was giddy, mate. I don’t remember the last time I’ve seen her genuinely happy.” Samantha Jane smiled.

“When you barely get any time off and are living out of a suitcase, I could see that bein’ true,” Louis said.

“She’s getting time off so it’ll be good for her.” She said.

“Until something pops up and she has to do it or Russell will be up her arse about it,” Louis said as he watched Declan appear across the stage.

“She needs new people around her but she won’t listen to me when I try to tell her.” Samantha Jane said sounding a bit disappointed. “I guess I did that to myself though.”

She cleared her throat hoping it would distract him from what she had said. “Anyways, I don’t know what today means or if this is going to be a reoccurring thing.”

Louis looked at her confused. “What are you on about?”

“She’s not as strong as she looks so if whatever this is going to be goes south again, you’re going to have to answer to me this time. Got it?” She stated with a bit of malice.

“Something has to happen before it can go south.” He shot back ignoring the thoughts in the back of his mind. He wasn’t going to go there. It was too soon.

“I know I’m jumping the gun but I can’t lose her again.” Samantha Jane said. “She’s all I’ve got.”

“Don’t worry, Sam. I wo—“ Louis started to say before he was drowned out by the screams of the crowd.

The fiery brunette who held a special place in his heart raced past him and took her place in the center of the stage.

“Glastonbury,” Fearne yelled out. “How the fuck are ya?”

A smug look formed on his face. She hadn’t changed a bit.

Samantha Jane leaned in and cupped her hand over his ear before she spoke. “Our girl has become one hell of a performer. You’re in for a treat.”

Samantha Jane was right. Fearne Phillips was one hell of a performer and Louis nearly regretted staying away from her music for the past few years. Her stage presence and artistry were truly one of a kind. She really was one of the greatest artists of their generation. Louis spent the entirety of her set absolutely buzzing. Music festivals were tough for him. It was a lot of work and very little play so when he got the opportunity to see a set he tried to make it count.

Oddly enough, watching his ex-girlfriend sing songs about him and their past had proven to be worth it. He followed Niall down the stairs as crew members rushed past them to start taking things down. Samantha Jane followed behind him typing away on her phone.

Niall opened his mouth to ask what was going to happen next but the leggy blonde in the back beat him to it.

“You lot stayin’ for Kooks?” Samantha Jane asked looking between the pair of men.

“Uh, yeah,” Louis responded without missing a beat.

Niall shot him a concerned look but Louis dismissed it.

“Boss Lady wants us to head over there and she’ll meet us there. That alright with you, Ni?” She asked focusing back on her phone.

Niall looked at Louis. “You sure bout this?”

“He survived the interview and the set. Tommo can do anythin’.” Samantha Jane teased.

“Oh fuck off,” Louis said with a laugh.

“Arch will be absolutely chuffed to see ya both.” She smiled slipping her phone into her bag. “Glad you said yes. Boss Lady wasn’t gonna let me walk by meself anyways.”

“She runs a tight ship.” Niall joked.

“You have no fucking idea.” She rolled her eyes.

The group of adults made their way out of the backstage area and onto the festival grounds. They had thirty minutes to walk across the field, reunite with their friends, and claim their spot.

As they reached their designated meet spot, Niall and Louis shared a look that was usually reserved for “on the air” moments. It was a way for Niall to check in on Louis without drawing other people’s attention. He signed that he was good allowing the Irishman to take a sigh of relief.

“So Nialler, gotta life or death question for ya. Are you single or what?” Samantha Jane asked.

“Why? You down?” Niall smirked causing a pretty serious blush to form on the young woman’s cheeks.

“She’d eat you alive, mate,” Louis said shaking his head.

Samantha Jane tilted her head to the side. “He could handle it.”

Niall shifted on his feet not realizing how much damage a gaze from Samantha Jane Wilkinson could cause.

“He’s my baby. You’d destroy him.” Louis said glancing over at his best friend. “Can’t be havin’ that.”

“I thought you were trying to get with Declan,” Niall asked finally finding his voice.

“No. He tried it on with me.” Samantha Jane said. “And then Fearnie but uh that didn’t go over too well.”

Louis stayed quiet. He always had a feeling that Declan was a bit smitten with his missus but he could never prove it. Hearing he tried something with Fearne after they split wasn’t surprising in the slightest.

“That’s a story for another day.” Samantha Jane said before clearing her throat. “So, you lads seeing anyone?”

“Do you ever keep it in your pants, SJ?” Archie Phillips called out catching everyone’s attention.

“Like you should be talking.” Samantha Jane said rolling her eyes.

“Not my fault, ladies love me,” Archie said smugly. “Unlike you.”

“Arch, leave her alone,” Fearne said hitting her brother across the stomach.

“Yeah. Leave me alone.” Samantha Jane retorted childishly.

“As you get older, you think to yourself that maybe today will be the day when they grow out of it. That maybe this will be the moment of clarity they need.” Archie said looking around the group. “But then it hits you, they’ll never change.”

“They are always going to be annoying little sisters.” Archie winked at Louis.

“Little sisters really are the worst.” Louis laughed as he moved towards the man.

“Bring it in bruv.” Archie smiled with outstretched arms.

“It’s been too long.” Louis smiled as the two men embraced.

“Tell me about it. You’re almost an old man now.” Archie said making the others laugh.

“Like he should be talking.” Samantha Jane mumbled.

“Oi, watch it, Sammy.” Archie glared.

“How the fuck is City at the top of the table?” Louis asked stepping away from the man who was like an older brother to him.

“Because United doesn’t know how to play football.” Archie deadpanned making his sister laugh.

“Let’s not talk football.” Samantha Jane sighed.

“Just because you guys picked a shit team—“ Fearne started to say before Louis cut her off.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Just because at the moment you’re doin’ well for yourself doesn’t mean you can be all high n’ mighty, Phillips.” Louis teased.

She threw her hands up in defense. “Sorry, didn’t know it was a touchy subject for ya.”

Louis rolled his eyes while the people around him laughed.

“Question for ya though, how are the Donny Rovers doin’?” She smirked knowing his other football team wasn’t doing too well either.

“Oh fuck you.” He shook his head.

“That was a low blow, Fearnie.” Archie sighed. “That’s the man’s pride and joy right there.”

“Seems to me Louis doesn’t know how to pick a football team.” Fearne smiled making Louis blush.

“You have one good season and you think you’re hot shit.” Louis shook his head as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“How many times has United won the title since Fergie left?” She shot back making Niall laugh.

Louis attempted to defend himself but he couldn’t. A pleased look formed on his ex-girlfriend’s face.

“We’ve got all night to watch you twos flirt with each other. I need me a pint. Anyone else keen?” Archie teased.

Everyone in their small group had agreed that a pint (or two) was needed.

“I’ll go with you to get one,” Fearne said quickly.

“It’s okay. Deco and the Irish One can come with me.” Archie said thinking on his feet. Keeping his sister safe was a top priority and having her walk around in a crowd of festival-goers didn’t seem like a good idea.

“You sure about this?” Niall asked looking over at Louis.

“Yeah. What he said.” Fearne said giving her brother a confused look.

“SJ can play minder. Make sure everything goes smoothly. No more football talk until we get back. Sound good?” Archie said giving his sister a reassuring look.

“I don’t know if that’s smart,” Declan said moving closer to Fearne. “Maybe I should stay back too.”

Louis kept his eyes on Fearne’s face. She was not having it.

“It’s fine. Go with Arch.” Louis said stepping in. “We’ll behave. We’re adults now.”

“I’ll take care of your babies.” Samantha Jane said catching onto what Louis was trying to do.  “We’ll be good, yeah?”

“Alright, let’s go boys,” Archie said turning around.

With that, Fearne Phillips found herself alone with her best friend and her ex-boyfriend. It was such a weird feeling. She never thought she’d get this moment again. She turned to say something but Samantha Jane just shook her head.

“What?” Fearne asked confused.

“He’s got to go.” Samantha Jane said with a serious look on her face.

“Sam, I can’t—“ Fearne sighed knowing what she was referring to.

“At least tell Arch. He deserves to know.” Samantha Jane said.

“We can talk about this later,” Fearne said glancing at Louis shyly.

“He knows you can take care of things on your own so why was he was so keen to stay?” Samantha Jane pointed out.

“Because I’m here,” Louis said. “He’s always been a jealous twat.”

“But he’s good at his job,” Fearne said as if that were a good enough reason.

“You deserve better than that,” Louis said with a sad smile.

Fearne felt her cheeks grow warm. She knew Louis was right but he didn’t know the whole story. In an attempt to change the subject, Fearne cleared her throat and threw a fabricated smile on her face before looking between Louis and her best friend.“Guess what this twat asked me today during the interview?”

“If he fucking brought up ‘Gap’, I’m gonna lose it.” Samantha Jane said looking over at Louis.

“Still thinks they are gonna play it.” Fearne laughed making Louis blush.

“You never know,” Louis said defending himself. “Today’s been a wild card of a day. Anything could happen.”

“Okay, Ellie Goulding.” Samantha Jane said rolling her eyes.

“I bet — “ Louis started to say but Fearne’s laughter stopped him.

“Fuck, I’ve actually missed this.” Samantha Jane said amazed by her own words. “You just like losing, don’t ya Tommo?”

“They don’t play it, I’ll buy you a pint,” Louis said sticking out his hand for Fearne to shake. “If they do, you owe me.”

“You could have spiced things up a bit, Lou. That was like child’s play.” Samantha Jane added.

Ignoring her best friends commentary, Fearne reached out and shook his hand. She noticed his fingers lingered against hers longer than they should have. It was interesting.

“Since you two are gettin’ on quite well, mind if I bail? I see an eight with a beard makin’ heart eyes at me.” Samantha Jane said nodding a guy standing nearby.

“Keep your phone on,” Fearne said looking over her shoulder at the group of people the stranger belonged to.

“Yes, Mum.” Samantha Jane said adjusting her top.

“No drugs,” Fearne said sternly.

“Yeah, yeah.” She said slipping her phone into her bag.

“I’m being serious SJ,” Fearne said grabbing onto her friend’s hand.

Samantha Jane looked her in the eye. “ No drugs. I promise.”

“Have fun.” Fearne nodded.

The blonde leaned in and placed a quick kiss on her cheek before disappearing into the crowd.

“I can send Niall after her when he gets back if you want me to.” Louis offered.

“If she’s not back after the set, I’ll take you up on that,” Fearne said with a soft smile.

Louis nodded as he moved a little closer to her. The pair of adults stayed silent as mobs of people moved around them. It was almost surreal. After all this time, they were going to be watching a band that had basically defined their relationship.

“I can see why Georgette is obsessed with your latest album,” Louis said breaking the silence.

“Oh Georgie, bless her.” Fearne smiled. Louis’ middle sister was always her favorite.

“Might have to pick myself up a copy of the ones I’ve missed.” He said with a smile.

“I think this next set is going to be much better than what you just watched,” Fearne said unable to accept his compliment. Louis has a very strong opinion when it came to music so knowing he approves of all the songs that were influenced by him was something she couldn’t quite comprehend.

“You’ve done well for yourself, kid,” Louis said softly.

“Thanks, Lou.” Fearne blushed.

A brief silence settled in once more as new groups formed around them. She moved a little closer to him. She could tell by the look on his face that he wanted to bring something up but he was holding back. Knowing him as well as she did, she knew it had to be serious because biting his tongue wasn’t one of Louis’ specialties.

“You alright?” Fearne nudged him gently.

“Ye-Yeah.” Louis stuttered. He cleared his throat letting her know he was lying. Fearne didn’t press the matter.

She just nodded as she looked up at him.“I’ve got like two more festival dates and then I’m off for a year. Can you believe it?”

“Fearne Phillips actually gets time off? Blasphemy.” Louis replied dryly.

“Shocking, I know.” She laughed.

“What are you gonna do?” He asked crossing his arms over his chest.

“Um, sleep.” She shrugged. “Haven’t had a year off since I started. I’m overdue on this whole sleep thing.”

“You’re right about that.” He laughed softly.

“I dunno what else. Maybe head home and get back to me Northern roots.” She said turning on her true accent.

“The North better prepare themselves.” He said.

Fearne giggled. “Been back recently?”

Louis shook his head. “No, but hope to soon.”

“I’m sure they’re missing ya.” She said.

“They get to hear me every afternoon so they aren’t missin’ me that much.” He said with a shrug.

It wasn’t long before a group of guys beside them recognized her. She sent a tight smile in their directions before moving closer to him. He moved to the other side of her body acting as a buffer from the group of men.

“Fifty quid, we get papped and sent to The Sun tomorrow.” She mumbled nodded to another group of people that had spotted them. Mobile phones were out and photos were being taken.

“Britain’s next It couple,” Louis said.

Fearne laughed. “Fearne Phillips reignites illicit tryst with scorned ex-lover Louis Tomlinson.”

“Louis Tomlinson smokes out pop star ex-girlfriend Fearne Phillips during festival love fest.” Louis rattled off.

“Remember when they thought we shagged in me car after that god awful trip back home?” She snorted remembering the unflattering paparazzi pictures.

“Never heard the end of that one.” He blushed.

“We got into some trouble, didn’t we?” She said looking up at him with a happy look on her face.

“Wouldn’t change it for the world though.” He nodded.

“Maybe less fighting,” Fearne said softly. “But I agree.”

“But the fighting brought us closer.” He said with a sigh.

“You are right about that.” She said with a nod. No matter how bad the fight was, no one went to bed angry.

“I wanna see you when you get back from being home,” Louis said leaning in close. He didn’t know why those words chose that moment to escape from his mouth but he was happy that they did. “Might be too forward but I don’t give a fuck.”

“Why’s that?” Fearne asked confused.

“Your accent gets thicker and you get more annoyed with the City.” He said smugly.

She laughed to herself. “Yeah, you’re right about that.”

Before Louis got the chance to confirm plans, someone nudged him. He turned to find Fearne’s brother with two fresh pints in his hand. He graciously took one before making room for the other boys to join in.

“No tears? No blood? No fightin’?” Archie asked looking confused. “You lot alright?”

“Fuck off, Arch.” Fearne sighed. “We’re capable of being friends. We’re adults now.”

“Where’d SJ go?” Declan asked handing Fearne the extra pint in his hand.

“Off to suck some fella’s face off,” Fearne explained.

“But she --” Archie started to say sounding worried.

“She promised she wouldn’t,” Fearne said knowing what her brother was going to ask.

“I offered to send Ni after her,” Louis said before taking a sip of his drink.

“She’ll be fine boys.” Fearne faked a smile. “Let’s focus on the show.”

“You’re too trusting, Fearnie,” Declan said. “She comes back on one, that’s on you.”

The young woman opened her mouth to say something but decided against it. It wasn’t worth the argument. Instead, she gripped her drink a little tighter and made her way to an open area that was away from her friends. She didn’t need the boys to ruin the rest of her night by making her feel guilty for trusting Samantha Jane. Unlike them, she always Samantha Jane the benefit of the doubt — even if she didn’t always deserve it.

Without a word, Louis moved from his spot beside Archie and took up the space beside his ex-girlfriend. Her body was tense until she realized it was him. Her actions didn’t go unnoticed. When he focused on Fearne’s face, he knew something wasn’t right.

Louis leaned in close. “She’s gonna be fine.”

“Even if she wasn’t, it’s not like they are gonna be the ones helping her when she’s coming off a bad trip. Or holding her hair back when she’s spewing her guts out or keeping her hydrated the next day.” She mumbled. “It’s not like they actually give a shit.”

“She’s lucky to have you.” He said sincerely.

Fearne could feel her cheeks grow warm. “Actually, I’m lucky to have her.”

“That’s true. I know this isn’t me place but I uh meant what I said earlier about Deco. You deserve better.” He said taking a sip of his drink. “He’s a fucking twat.”

“Biggest twat on the fuckin’ planet,” Fearne mumbled. “But you didn’t hear it from me.”

Louis laughed making her smile. The lights went out on stage alerting the entire crowd that things were about to kick off. Archie and the boys made their way over to where Fearne and Louis had been standing. A bit of mindless chatter began amongst them as they waited for the show to begin.

Intro music began sending a wave of electricity throughout the crowd. Fearne felt herself move closer to Louis. She couldn’t believe this was happening. After all this time, they were back together and about to watch their favorite band.

“Lou.” She said nudging him.

“Hmm.” He mumbled looking over at her.

The look in his eye was something she’d never forget. Louis had a way of making her feel like the most important person in the world whenever she spoke. It was something she had missed.

“I’m glad we ran into each other.” She said.

His cheeks grew warm from the sincerity in her voice.

“Past few years, everyone has asked me what I thought would happen if we saw each other again and this has honestly been better than anything I could ever imagine.” She admitted.

“I guess it was a good thing that Matty nearly shit himself.” Louis joked making her laugh.

“Thankin’ me lucky stars for that.” She winked.

“Mum isn’t going to believe the day I’ve had.” He said with a smile.

Before anything else could be said, the kick drum kicked in causing the crowd to roar with excitement.

The rest of the night felt like a dream. She couldn’t have asked for a better weekend. She was surrounded by good food, good music, and good people. A few more drinks were shared before everyone parted ways for the night.

Fearne Phillips didn’t know how it happened but she felt rejuvenated. It could have been because her work duties were over. It could have been the fact that her vacation was only two weeks away. It could have been the small reunion with a man who made up so many memories from her past. She didn’t know.

She did know that she wasn’t the same person as she was when she woke up that morning. That was something to be happy about.

As she got ready for bed that night, her phone buzzed on the counter of the caravan’s bathroom. On the screen was a number she hadn’t recognized but the message gave the sender away.

Tuesday. Stags Head. Lunch is on me even though you lost, loser. x

A goofy grin formed on her face. She quickly shot back a reply before adding his new number to her phone.

Maybe being friends with Louis wouldn’t be such a bad thing after all.

[iamwhoalexia-blog]

first oral w/ chan

n: this is why i love you lol. okay so here we are, i had this idea that is actually soft but i found it also really hot in my mind, just read it.

chris and you had been together for a while

but you never made the next step

you only were a little scared like everyone

but your relationship wasn't only to look forward to sex

so both were okay with it

when both feel like it's the right time it will happen

but

of course that you wanted to get fun anyway

you don't need to exactly fuck to feel good

you really enjoyed just making out

and giving him a good blowjob when he was stressed after a long day

it never escalated from that unfortunately

and you will ask

why if you do he doesn't

the truth is that you didn't want to press him in that sense

it's not like no one haven't come down on you before

you had already been with other guys

and he was with other girls too

the problem was to break the barrier between you two

and it was completely understandable

so time did its job

and your hormones too

one particular night you both returned from dining out

and from the moment you left the apartment you couldn't stop checking the other

both looked so good

both felt the same tension

the same desire

so in the exact second that you opened the door again

you were already trapped between the wall and his body

mischievous smiles decorating both faces

and too much heat between your bodies

the friction

the touches

the caresses

the kisses

they were insane

discarding clothes and space

you found in the room once again

but it already felt different

his lips didn't leave yours for a second

despair became present without being too abrupt

it was so much need coming to the surface with every little action

your hips rolling on top of him just built more of that desire

and you felt it perfectly

his hands discovering new parts in your body

both guided each other to each time go a little further

when you were only in your underwear you really wanted to take the initiative and make him feel good like always

but he had another idea in his head

he stopped you before you could do anything

and moving you under him once again he began to leave a trail of kisses along your body

his lips going down

his slowness was killing you

and you knew perfectly well where they were directing

your inner thighs marked by him

so pretty

your breathing agitated when his lips began to kiss over your underwear

he was just following his instinct

but he really wanted to make you feel as good as you did with him

so removing the piece with the same slowness he stared into your eyes

"help me do this"

he asked with an innocent smile

but absolutely hungry for you

"you never did it?"

you asked naively in a sigh

he denied and caressed your skin until he found your hand safely

you were completely exposed to him

and when you felt the confidence you let his hands spread your legs for once

starting with the kisses again until you started guiding him

“wherever you lick it’s gonna feel good, but the clit is made for that” you said between a chuckle 

he would start with small licks 

and changing his pace 

making you start feeling the pleasure slowly 

but sending shivers through your whole body  

your free hand roaming your own skin 

sometimes placing on his face by impulse

besides he was doing well, you had waited a long time for this

so every single touch was like fire 

he paid attention to your reactions

your gestures

every sound

the way your body took his actions

and he seemed to understand fast

too fast

but he still felt that it wasn’t enough 

even though you were starting to lose it 

he stopped for a second 

but keep admiring you until you opened your eyes and saw him 

“you think i can use my fingers?” 

he sounded so curious 

and what were you going to do? 

say no? 

you nodded and let his hand go 

"use only two”

you took a breath 

“and start slow"

your voice was a mixture of whines and lack of air

he followed your words

and inserted two fingers going as slow as you said 

you forgot to tell him something 

and it was a little too late when you remembered 

because you were so consumed on the feeling that your words didn’t come out 

and he noticed that

and smiled satisfied

only to put his mouth back on you and increase the feeling

how could he be that good? 

he muttered something that you didn’t hear

but he was just talking to himself 

wondering what you would feel if he curled and twirled his fingers inside of you

and once he did it, oh god

he discovered a side of you that he didn’t know he needed to see to keep breathing 

“are you sure you never did this before?” you managed to ask openning your eyes and looking at him

he chuckled and nodded without stopping

following a stable pace you felt closer as you tightened

and your hands couldn’t help but get tied to his hair 

you needed him to not stop 

but also you wished you could pull him away 

because it was too much 

“babe-”

your hips unconsciously lifted

your grip on his hair became a little stronger

that made him crazy

both hands kept his head close

with caresses and maybe some push towards for him to not move away

your movements began to be a little clumsy under him

and he decided to accelerate his pace even more

that caused your moans to be more prominent

and audible

it was the most beautiful sound he had heard in his entire life

he didn’t want it to stop

never 

but well 

you had a whole orgasm burning inside you 

a series of gasps escaped from your mouth

followed by a longer moan

making him and the neighbor  aware of the reaching of your high

he bit his own lip and replaced his mouth with his thumb

cleaning what was left of you

nothing could stop him now

he realised how turned on he was 

only by pleasing you

rolling his hips on the sheets unconsciously

he let it go for once 

and saw you closing your eyes in pure ecstasy 

his fingers still inside you while you tried to catch your breath 

your chest raising and falling 

your hair a mess 

your body fully exposed to his sight 

you were gorgeous this way 

now that he saw you like this he wanted to see it all over again 

he took his fingers out making you almost shake with the sensation 

he licked his lips and flashed you the most raddiant smile

“that was hot”

he said moving above you again 

you smiled and came back to catch his face in your hands while kissing you

letting you feel your own flavor

"that was amazing" 

you assured him

you continued with the kiss a little more

and dropped your hands down his abdomen to get to his waistband

you touched him and smiled when he let out a small sigh by cutting the kiss

"my turn"