#and maybe certain people have expressed to other people that they also dont like it

[mcxcuseme13]

Everyone's like "when you're on the podium you need to spray everyone"

And I'm like, "Thank God I'm not in F1 cause if you put the spout of that champagne anywhere near me"

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

if 9&10 were "dont wander off", and 11&12 were "the doctor lies", 13s rule #1 is "dont question me"

"have we not had a good time together" shes pointing yaz to the rule that yaz very well knows is there: we can travel if you dont ask me any difficult questions. yaz knows this is the rule - "because you ask too many questions", "this team structure isnt flat" - but she also was the one to invite the doctor into her home so im pretty sure she also knows shes not gonna kicked out that easily. she has some leeway. which she has been using between revolution and flux, which is why the doctor reminds her of the rules

i dont think she'd kick her out though. she wouldnt. i think it's just that the more you break the rule, the more unpleasant she becomes to be around, and eventually youre gonna walk out on your own. she doesnt want you to, she'd rather you stay and dont ask questions. but if youre gonna try to ask questions anyway, i think thats whats gonna happen

and yaz must think so too. because she does back off. because she doesnt want that to happen either. and it does anyway

[bunny-heels]

someone with a phobia of cats commented on my nearly 6 year old post about me being baffled by someone who screamed at a cat saying i shouldn't care about peoples phobias. fair. i did tag it with the phobia. shouldnt have done that. i go to their blog and their yelling saying that tumblr is being ableist for using cat imagery on the site. okay i guess. although the cat is basically the internet mascot so its not any websites fault is a cat shows up. i scroll down a lil more.

"i hope everyone who likes dogs suffers. there is no such thing as a good dog, only a trained dog, and those are rare"

okay. i see. so. question:

does this not apply to people with service dogs?

or does that not fall under ableism for you?

[notherpuppet]

things i've learned about fandom ❇️

i got into fandom pretty recently. i mean i'm pushing 30, so i didn't really "grow up" in fandom and thus, had a lot to learn about being nice online lol. i've definitely been in fandoms b4, but never quite as immersed as i am now. like, last year was the first time i've been to a con! it was really fun. i feel like i've learned a lot this year and i think most folks navigate without malicious intentions, but there are some faux pas that i've observed (that i have done myself unfortunately😖 ) and idk who may be interested in hearing this, but just some of my observations; (anthropologist hat on) dead dove do not eat: in the realm of fiction and freedom from censorship (which is cool as hell imo), there are gonna be some stories that may seem quite taboo or distasteful to one's sensibilities. if you're not a fan, i recommend blocking/muting. usually folks are quite good about tagging ships or dynamics, in consideration of those who may want to find or avoid that content.

the etiquette seems to vary by region of the world (makes sense) if commenting on a post for someone who speaks a different language than you, it may be better to avoid idioms/expressions as they may translate literally and seem harsh to another culture. (e.g. "omg they are sickening" a compliment in america, an insult maybe everywhere else LOL) obviously u can do whatever u want, but being a hater (or anti?) is probably gonna lose you some charm points. so if coming across a certain way is important to you, then this is probably just something to consider. for example, there are things i observe in fandom that i don't really like, but i avoid dogging on it publicly because idk that's kinda mean spirited, right? but also because i have this unexpectedly big following and i'm not trying to start a dogpile or sic people after others. the internet can be scary 😳 when i make complaints, i try to keep it vague so that individuals are not attacked cuz that would suck pls don't be a fandom cop: this is the internet, pls dont be a self-appointed authority figure. it's natural that folks will have their critiques. why not write about it in your own space instead of trying to control others' actions? (especially with an air of entitlement and self imposed moral authority, like cmon) obvs folks are gonna do whatever they want on the internet, i just think this behavior is lame as hell ight that's all i got LOL. this is for any fandom newbies like i was (this is not meant to be rules or anything because that would be icky. but just wanted to share my experience with fandom since i've learned a lot from discussions with others more versed in fandom life)

[sucodelaranja86]

Wait whoops I js reread the rules n it said no gender specific IM SORRY LMAO😭

I dooo have another request for u tho since u said u wanna write!!

Could we get a Cho Hyun-Ju (yes another cuz I love her) x reader where we realize we have feelings for her n rant to it about to one of the players (maybe the old lady who gives us advice n teases) n dont notice that shes nearby, basically hearing everything we say until we notice n freeze up n then move away in embarassment which leads to us avoiding her cuz were nervous n dont wanna be seen vulnerable?

- gotcha!! : ★

featuring: hyun-ju cho x reader.

summary: you have a massive crush on your friend and don't know what to do, so you seek help. And who is a better help at giving advice than the elders? However, a certain someone also heard your little talk.

warnings: none.

genre: fluff.

A/N: YOUNG-MI LIVES YAAAY

★ . ★ . ★ . ★

➤ "Please, you guys need to help me!"

Jang could only watch your absolutely flustered face while Young-mi cutely laughed by her side. Your request was unusual, and she was sure that if she somehow was starting to understand the youngsters, all of that effort was going through the drain right now.

"Di-did she say something a-about me?"

Young-mi only busted out laughing once more as Yonsik held his own. Jang could only hold an annoyed expression, while the other two were clearly having the time of their lives.

"How are we supposed to know, you buffoon! She is your close friend, not ours!" Jang said, her patience running thin.

"Don't be so mean!!" you protested with a huge pout on your deep red face.

After a good pause for them to laugh at your attempts of asking them about Hyun-ju, Young-mi finally managed to catch her breath. You have never seen the small girl laugh so much in her entire life (not that you knew her for a long period of time anyways).

"Maybe you should try talking to her personally, Unnie." she adviced you. Even if she still found the newfound situation incredibly funny, she still hoped the best for you and Hyun-ju. Both of you were good people who helped her when she needed the most, and she couldn't be more grateful. She really looked up to you two, and sometimes you felt like you couldn't disappoint her.

"Well, maybe i could give it a try. I wouldn't want to risk the friendship we already have. But, by the way, where is she?" you asked, confused on why she still wasn't by their usual spot already.

"She said she was going to the bathroom, maybe you should go after her! Ha!" Yonsik said in a teasing manner, but the idea didn't seem so bad to you. You hesitantly get up, ignoring Yonsik's teasing and giving Young-mi a slight pet, and only after heading to the bathroom.

However, as you crossed a certain turn in the mess of beds, you stumbled across no one other than Hyun-ju herself.

"Hyun-ju...?"

She was beaming red. Her usual composed manner fading slightly when she saw you. You could quickly tell she had heard every word that came out of your mouth.

" -i need to go."

"No, please, stay."

Both of you were trembling. In her case, it was anxiety. But in yours, you have never felt so embarrassed in your entire life.

Was she about to reject you? To end your friendship? To say that you were gross to even think about her in such ways, and-

"Can we talk?" she asked after recomposing herself, albeit not completely.

"We don't need to. I understand and accept it. I'm so sorry for even thinking about our friendship in that way, i..." for a long moment, you were at a loss for words. What were you thinking for even-

"I feel the same way. I have felt, for a long while."

. . .

Now that's what you weren't expecting.

"Could you- Hyun-ju, could you please repeat what you just said? I don't think I've heard you well."

"I love you."

-

"These 2 are taking too long in the bathroom! Do you think they-" he was quickly smacked by his mother before he could even begin to mutter another word.

"Let then be."

★ . ★ . ★ . ★

[spade-12]

Spade Doodles Showcase Is Here! (100+ followers special!)

- Duration

From January 18 to TBD?? (Deadline for when I stop taking requests not when I stop drawing!)

- Details

To celebrate me reaching 100+ followers, I will be hosting a small event!

First and foremost, I want to thank everyone for following & supporting me - regardless of my inactivity - and interacting with my posts ^^. Sometimes I just come off and on again and I’m still surprised when people engage with my blog. I think it’s typical of me to say that I never thought I would ever get to meet so many people that welcome me to this community. Or to have any moots at all. And I know I don’t interact much (which I want to do more, I’m just really bad at socializing >_>), but I’ve meet amazing people, from the art that they make, and to the person they are in general. To whoever’s reading this, thank you, regardless if you follow me or not, I appreciate everyone’s support :)

100 may not be a big number, but it’s still pretty amazing that 100 people (+more) enjoy my blog enough to follow me . I’m glad people like my art, and that I could share it to other people. No words and numbers can express the immense gratitude to have meet you all, and to be able to be in this community. Thank you all for listening to me blabber and thank you for the support ❤️ now on to the real stuff!

-EVENT INFO-

A request event where you can roll on this limited banner featuring my Yuusona and Grim! In this banner you get to roll for their cards, sort of like a gacha! And whatever card you roll on, will be the surprise you will get for your request! 🎉

(inspired by a gacha pulling event by @/the-rini-rush or now @/rinis-reality!)

-How to roll

Leave a comment or an ask, then if I stumble upon your request, I’ll spin a random number generator from 1-8. For example, if I rolled (1) for your request, that means you’ll receive the starsending card, and if the request asks for a drawing of Kalim with yuu, then I(♠️) will draw a fully-rendered piece! As explained below. But if there are any specific requests, it will hopefully be mentioned in the request! Like a specific pose, or idea, etc.

Note-I think I might skip on the dms, because I realized that my gacha has to be a surprise for my rollers, and responding means they’re chosen buttttt, 👀 I want it to be a secret! Orrr maybe it might be too much if it’s dms 😭 idkk But I’ll respond to any comments asking, guess that’s not so secret, but when I will get the drawing done will depend 🙇‍♂️

Rules/How to Join!

Moots & followers can only participate-but I’m always open to new followers!(˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

Comment, or submit an ask about your request!

Specify any details you want incorporated, poses, ideas, details, etc.

I may dm personally if I have any questions

Requests are not “limited,” but I will take priority for first come first serve if you ever request twice! Depending if people participate at all hhh><

DOS

Only TWST related (for now?. Unless I’m in the mood..)

Limited to 2 people in a request, depending on complexity, but feel free to add more just in case!

OC/CC, OC/CC, and CC/CC allowed!

Age appropriate (SFW) please nothing suggestive 😭 I can’t draw that…

DONTS

Nothing pro ship, homophobic, or anything with ill intent, I don’t condone that here!

I might not be able to draw certain/complex things because i’m not capable enough … (complex mechas, backgrounds -depends-, furries, anthro 😭)

Additional info (Please read!! ^^)

Occasionally I might do other drawing ideas or participate in other events (just as little breaks in between!)

Drawings may take a while , but I’ll try my best!

I’ll also note they might take longer due to irl stuff, and also I’ve been coming down with the flu these daysss..

Note the drawings example below may not be the exact style you’ll be getting

Also my drawings may suck, so yea, beware!👻👻

Featured Cards ♠️

I was planning to do more refined examples but I grew lazy and I haven’t been doing well, so that adds to the surprise! Sorry everyone 🥹 also some of these are older drawings I never posted-

Hopefully my health gets a bit better!!^^

1.SSR- Starsending

A request style painting, with additional sketches, where it will be rendered, shaded, and most detailed!

2.SSR- White Rabbit Festival

A request collection of sketches, a mixture of color and tiny drawings!

Ex.

3.SSR- Liongarb

A request collection a whole page of doodles (some slightly colored with lots of different pictures!

Ex.

4.SSR- Dorm Uniform

A request special card sr, where you can get a design for a ungroovy and groovy!

5.SSR- Birthday boy

A request special card SSR where you can get a design with a ungroovy and groovy!

Ex.

6.SSR- Birthday Jacket

A request where you can get a special cover based on the official TWST manga! (By Yana’s style) + possible manga panel?

7.SSR - Bloom Broomquet Birthday

A request where you can get a special cover based on the Offical TWST manga! (By Aida Suzuka’s style) + possible manga panel?

8.SSR - Platinum Birthday

A special request where you’ve reached guaranteed! If you get this card, you get to choose which selection of other request listed above you want! This is where I’ll dm the roller and they can select their choice!

Have fun with your pulls! Thank you again!

BUT SERIOUSLY THANK YOU ALL!,! GSHSGD 😭😭😭 YOU GUYS ARE ALL AMAZING!!!!🫶💝❤️❤️💝❤️💝❤️❤️-♠️

-Additional full body ref of design and art-

[mymoshangthoughts]

oki oki oki

so i love, you love, and we love the whole "everyone sees moshang except for moshang" thing, bc it's funny to have everyone else be like "ohwow those two idiots dont realize they're married huh"

but like

might i suggest the alternative?

idk i was rereading svsss and like, since the whole thing is basically shen yuan's pov and he's a relatively level headed dude, i can't help but think about the way that he looks at moshang

like, he really doesn't seem to have any idea that moshang could be a thing. from his pov, shang qinghua/airplane is a sniveling backstabbing asshole who gets what deserves and deserves quite a bit more thwacks and mobei jun is just kinda... there. like even after knowing shang qinghua for YEARS and being fairly close people who can confide in one another, shen yuan seems pretty fucking shocked when airplane jumps off a cliff to save mobei jun. from his pov, it's almost random. like "huh wow that is the weirdest thing i've seen all week, and airplane is NORMALLY very weird so like... huh???"

now by the time the airplane extras occur, shen yuan DOES seem to have some idea of moshang with his whole "youre just waiting for him to apologize and keep beating you" thing, but again, might i point you to the YEARS it took him to get to that point. having to see shang qinghua literally pull a death defying stunt to save mobei jun's life before he sees even a glimmer of moshang

like, when they were working on the mushroom together, they clearly spent a long time with each other. they had to travel together, they had to come up with plans together, they also likely just had social visits bc being the only other transmigrator in a world that is so fucking weird would definitely drive up a certain level of honesty and companionship

now again, shen yuan is lowkey the sort of guy who's like "i dont see gay themes even when they're reeeeaaalllyy obvious", especially with relation to himself (dont get me started on how one of my least fav mxtx themes, after the blatant crummy treatment of female characters, is the whole "im not GAY, gay is WEIRD, im gay FOR YOU, thats DIFFERENT" which winds up reflecting as internalized homophobia their protags), so it's possible that moshang is obvious to everyone who isnt shen yuan.

BUT I CONTEND THE OPPOSITE

as ive expressed before, i love "mobei jun is just fucking weird, demon courting isnt like that" headcanons, so what if no one knows what the fuck is happening between moshang. like they're just this super weird mismatched combination of people that everyone just kinda tilts their head at like "...huh, wouldnt expect to see those two together but whateves" and then proceed to not fucking care to know the answer

shang qinghua seems to have kept a purposeful emotional distance from... everyone (likely due to the whole "haha everyone here is gonna fucking DIE someday" thing) and as said above, even after years of a relationship with shen yuan, he doesn't seem to have talked about mobei jun to him much (who is, by airplane's own admission, the most important person to him in this world considering he's the only person that had airplane going "i mean... maybe i dont push the go home button?"). so no one really seems to give a fuck who he's hanging out with bc he's not exactly out here making friends

and mobei jun, i contend, is a weirdo outcast who does not know how to socialize bc his uncle is a dick LOL. also his father. and also his childhood. and other demons tend to look at him and go "fucking weird man... i think he keeps a human pet?? kinda weird but w/e, the emperor is into necrophilia so /shrug/"

so like, maybe if anyone paid attention to them, they might notice the signs of moshang, but because most people kinda dismiss them, no one knows

I CONTEND THAT THE ONLY ONE WHO DOES KNOW IS LUO BINGHE THO

mostly because i find it FUCKING HILARIOUS but also bc i like to think luo binghe's whole "youre not used to his lil human pet yet? he brings it everywhere smh get over yourself" thing was luo binghe's way of being a wingman lmfao. he wont actually help or offer advice or do anything USEFUL, but he'll allow them to hang out when he has every ability to separate them LOL and i think that's funny

altho i still like the idea of luo binghe ALSO not knowing that moshang is a thing pfff. but having him know also amuses me.

ANYWAY ONTO THE ACTUAL APPLICATION INTO MOSHANG IDEAS

now the use in modern au's goes without saying. the good ol' "wait, THOSE TWO ARE A THING?!" coming from everyone who knows them. as an example, some form of workplace romance and even tho moshang can always be seen together in the office, because they dont seem to get along and no one cares, everyone is just like "shrug, they have a project together idc". like they're more likely to think that shang qinghua and shen yuan are dating bc at least those two have secretive meetings and have been caught, more than once, talking about sex. then one day shang qinghua shows up to work with the biggest rock on his finger pfff and mobei jun has a matching wedding band or someshit and everyone is shocked. or even better, some of the romantic pre-relationship stuff starts happening at the office but it's all stuff that's kinda easily misunderstood. and since no one would guess THOSE TWO together romantically, they just come up with any other plausible explanation. "why did mobei jun send shang qinghua flowers? idk, maybe his mom died. should we send him flowers too?" its not even a 'it couldnt be THAT', it's a straight up 'THAT never even crossed their minds for a second' until it gets really fucking ridiculous lololol then mobei jun and shang qinghua are applying for the same days off and mu qingfeng in HR is like "oki what for" and has to NOT do a spit-take when the two of them are like "our wedding" or someshit lolol

LOOK I JUST THINK IT'S VERY FUNNY

now as for the post-canon application, i still find this IMMENSELY amusing. for the sake of my amusement, im also choosing to interpret shen yuan's "you just want an apology" statement to have been given without imagining that the two of them might like-like each other. he's just being dismissive because airplane is fucking weird. like "look, idk why you are into role-playing as a humble servant and idk if i wanna know, actually, i definitely dont wanna know. you two clearly dont even like each other but you're in some weird co-dependent mess of a... friendship? friendship seems like a strong word. point being, get out of my house"

no one has the slightest clue about moshang's feelings for one another (except maybe binghe lolol) and they are REALLY not ready for when suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, shang qinghua is sending in his two weeks notice for an ding peak bc "oh im the northern consort now lol" and everyone is trying to just understand WHEN and HOW

like people straight up being like "is this a prank? i feel like im being pranked?" and others like "oh they might have gotten like... fake married? is this an insurance scam? hmm"

and basically for the first time ever people are really trying to understand and think about moshang bc they are SO FUCKING CONFUSED. there are betting pools over what the REAL REASON behind this CLEARLY fake marriage is. luo binghe has put his bet on "they're actually in love and fr married" and people SCOFF. he's the only one betting that and wow, the demon emperor is clearly blinded by his own weird relationship and cant see that NORMALLY this sort of relationship would NEVER happen

(actually this could apply for modern au too pff whateves, im jsut having fun here)

inquiring minds just being like "shang qinghua, blink twice if you're being threatened, we can get you out of there". demons out here like "we should prrobabblyy find the cure for whatever potent love-poison that creepy lil human slipped into mobei jun's drink, or maybe a mind-control plant?"

stuck on whether i want moshang to be utterly oblivious to everyone elses skepticism bc they're just on their happy lil honeymoon stage or if i want them to find the confusion Deeply amusing.

moshang get-together being dramatic but not bc either of them are oblivious, just bc there are communication issues pff. theres no "i love you" "but you CANT love me" drama, instead its "i love you" "oh shit SWEET, lemme hop on your dick". i like the idea of moshang only struggling to understand one another when the pair of them are holding the other at arms length (mobei jun being a tsundere and airplane out here like "getting attached and taking things srsly IS THE ENEMY") but whenever theres like, a clear statement of intent, they're quick to let go of misunderstandings and just get on with it. now while i favor this interpretation of their characters, i find it PARTICULARLY funny in au's like this! bc it also means that the pair of them learned to understand all of their weird behavior as well. so they're still fucking weird around each other, so people really dont believe this is real. mobei jun is still just as likely to yeet shang qinghua into a death cave and shang qinghua is just as likely to literally hug mobei jun's thighs while pleading for mercy. it doesnt LOOK like a loving relationship to anyone with eyes LOL (not to say that they dont grow and treat each other better, but just having a deeper understanding of one another means they dont change behavior 100%)

which actually isnt why i find it funny lol, i just enjoy the subversion of expections. rather than moshang being oblivious to the point of mind-numbing hair pulling stupidity, it's the rest of the world x'D and then it's just moshang casually proving that nah, they're for real, and yep, they're super in love, to an increasingly confused audience

this could work really well in a celebrity au now that i think about it LOL bc celebs so frequently have fake relationships and hidden relationships and all that sort of weird shit and people love to speculate about it online. so just everyone being like "calling it right fucking now, this relationship is a publicity stunt" and literally NO ONE believes they're for real, even years into it LOL. im actually usually a person who really doesnt care for celebrity au's but tbh this prompt fits so well for that, so im sold

but it goes beyond just fans speculating online. even fellow coworkers are like "huh, weird choice of publicity stunt" and dont believe for one fucking second that moshang is actually happening. oki yeah im sold

shang qinghua - famous author turned screenwriter (does some directing and he's actually pretty good at it, has a cult following, but mainly he sticks to writing. he doesnt need that kind of stress in his life LOL). he's finally reached a sort of financial stability with his work, but he hasnt broken the habit of doing whatever the audience wants because "I DONT WANNA FUCKING STARVE BRO", and he's generally disheartened when his works that he puts his sincere vision into have a tendency to be SIGNIFICANTLY less popular

mobei jun - actor, specially known for stunts and action movies. doesnt actually have any history of scandals, other than it's known that he's kinda hard to work with. just kinda cold and distant. THERE ARE some lowkey scandals with his family tho. he's definitely a nepo baby of the industry and his uncle and father dont have clean reputations. mobei jun normally keeps a pretty big distance away from them so he's kinda like, in the splash zone but not dragged in.

shen yuan - long time fan of shang qinghua's work, even back when the hack of an author was just posting web novels, his favorite insult is to call him a sell-out bc very often his deepest criticisms of shang qinghua's works are clearly choices made for money. as an example, a perfectly directed film that he wrote and nearly brought shen yuan to tears and quickly became his favorite movie EXCEPT theres fucking product placement in NEARLY EVERY FUCKING SCENE and sometimes it makes the movie fucking UNWATCHABLE. anyway, shen yuan runs the fansite for shang qinghua and is a LITTLE BIT OBSESSED with his works, but still has a love/hate relationship with the whole thing

luo binghe - pop idol who sometimes does acting work. he's known as an all-around talent. his acting is just as good as his singing, if not better, and basically everything he tries to do is wildly successful and genuinely fucking good. he's insanely popular to a scary degree (shen yuan is only familiar with his work bc he's acted in some of qinghua's movies and sometimes qinghua uses his music, shen yuan has an overall favorable impression of the celebrity but no obsession. mostly a "oh nice, that actor is really good, that and THAT HACK AUTHOR directing is sure to make this a must-watch movie" type of fanning)

liu qingge - stunt man and martial artist. he's not crazy famous, he's more like "if you're really into martial arts, you've definitely heard of him" or "if you're really into stunt work, you've heard of him" famous. but if you don't have those special interests, you have no idea. he MIGHT look faintly familiar to you, but you're unlikely to put a name to the face

shen jiu - actor, many scandals, SO MANY SCANDALS. he's very successful, infamously difficult to work with, has so many accusations hurled at him (and a majority of them are true) that when you hear "omg did you hear abt shen jiu" the answer is "ohyeah, the red-light district thing?" and the reply to that is "nonono, that was LAT MONTH, im talking abt the abuse allegations that came out yesterday!" and so on and so forth. shen jiu is a hot fucking mess and the industry has NOT helped him one bit. he has the money and power to get away with being his worst self and he Does Not Fucking Care (he cares so fucking much, he's literally burning from the inside out)

yue qingyuan - childhood friends with shen jiu, kind of accidentally being an enabler of shen jiu's spiral to hell. he's a producer and he's very successful and he keeps paving the way for shen jiu to continue getting work and help to bury scandals and basically the dude is trying his best, but he really should be putting his foot down and sending his friend to rehab instead of helping him like this

sha hualing - actress, does her own stunts, very temperamental. difficult to work with in that she's a bit (a lot) of a loose canon. she's hyper capable though and VERY popular. not a ton of scandals other than some violent behavior. she's also very good at dancing, basically anything that involves moving her body, she excels. her and mobei have totally starred in action movies together where theyre basically "hot beefy action hero and sexy badass love interest". they have a casual frenemy relationship

liu mingyan - average fanfiction writer, huge fan of rpf. she is relatively untouched by her brothers fame and intends to keep it that way. that said, she's more than happy to utilize the gossip that her brother sometimes brings home to implement as 'headcanons' into her fanfics >:D she does not tell her brother about this pfff. she also does martial arts and she's very good, but she has no desire to pursue fame. the closest she gets to it is sometimes watching her brother on a set (while secretly paying attention to everyone else for rpf bait LOL). she is not a fan of the whole moshang thing because it separates her otp (mobing for life!) and she's also convinced that its CLEARLY fake

mu qingfang - doctor, just a normal doctor, no fame involved. but his guilty pleasure is that he enjoys looking at celebrity gossip while on break. it's just a very lowkey sort of cathartic drama that he has no stakes in and helps him destress from his very stressful job. he mostly just lurks, but he's been known to write the occasional comment if he feels he has some useful insight to contribute

ning yingying - over-worked office lady. she wanted to be a pop idol when she was younger but it just wasnt in the cards. now she just enjoys getting a little parasocially invested in celebrity gossip, ESPECIALLY around luo binghe bc she's a. a mega fan. b. they were actually classmates in highschool. she's a fierce defender of his online and also one of those people who gets kinda offended by rpf bc "HOW COULD YOU THINK THAT" but also hypocritically will read every single "rpf character x reader" fanfic she can get her hands on

ming fan - luo binghe's hater online. mostly because he also knew him in highschool and hated the guy and now he's ugly jealous of his success. he likes to spread mean rumors about binghe online, just to blow off some steam. but his stupid obsession with slandering his ex-classmate sort of grew into a genuine interest in celebrity gossip and now he's a bit of an internet troll who's a little too invested in this shit. he's not a complete asshole and there are lines he won't cross, buuut he's also one of those assholes who sorta feels like "its online so it doesnt count if im a huge asshole" and just is his worst self online. he constantly gets in fights with ning yingying online (without knowing its her) about luo binghe. shen yuan sometimes gets involved too bc while he's not huge into the binghe fandom (that place scares him) he IS big on fact checking and whenever ming fan says something OBVIOUSLY false, shen yuan can't help but go in for corrections

qi qingqi - actress, successful, very low drama. she's famous and well liked, no major scandals, just a successful woman with a good career.

zhuzhi-lang - works as his uncles assistant. he keeps track of online drama because its part of his job, sometimes his uncle has him spread rumors online too so he has a few alts that are believable fan accounts for various celebrities.

tianlang-jun - one of those people who's basically famous just for being famous. he has done a bit of everything, but it's mostly that he's a household name that makes him famous. he currently works as a producer because he finds it really fucking funny. but it's anyones guess when he'll get bored of this and flit off to do something else that catches his fancy

su xiyan - model and martial artist. she's mostly famous for her TURBULANT relationship with tianlang-jun. she's skilled at both her crafts and has success, but she has no real ambition for fame. also her career is often held back by the shitty people in her life (her ex-mentor being PRIME among them, the grooming old scumbag). she got pregnant with binghe very early in her career and gave him away for adoption for various reasons. she has a good relationship with his adopted mother, but she's chosen to stay out of binghe's life. tianlang-jun doesn't know binghe is his son LOL

meng mo - thinks of himself as a star-maker, he's luo binghe's manager and has a VERY high opinion of his skills bc he's had a few successful clients. he does however tend to give very bad personal life advice

yang yixuan - one of liu qingge's students. he's only passively aware of celebrity gossip, it's really not his thing, but he is a bit of a mobei jun fan. mostly bc mobei jun does his own stunts and yan yixuan can recognize the skill involved and just thinks the guy is really fucking cool (not more cool than liu qingge OBVIOUSLY but still cool). he's very disappointed to hear abt this clearly fake relationship with shang qinghua, he thought that mobei jun was above all that petty celebrity bullshit of fake relationships and tabloid bait

gongyi xiao - aspiring young actor, overall just a nice guy. no scandals, not really famous yet but he has a promising lil fanbase that is slowly growing. however, he does have a bad habit of answering too honestly while being interviewed which can inadvertently have bad consequences LOL (example: "so what do you think of this moshang thing?" "hm, i mean, it really surprised me? seemed out of nowhere haha, i guess good for them??" which quickly spirals into "omg gongyi xiao CLEARLY knows it's fake! he cant lie for shit! THIS IS BASICALLY EVIDENCE")

qin wanyue - binghe fan, terminally parasocial, lives off of rpf fanfiction, literally missed her younger sisters funeral to attend a binghe concert, probably needs professional help like yesterday. when the online conversations of moshang start involving binghe, she gets VERY FUCKING UPSET

little palace mistress - nepo baby pop idol. very obsessed with binghe but also in a love/hate sort of way bc he doesnt do what she WANTS him to do and she craves the obedience. she takes out her impudent rage online. she's a big mobei jun hater bc she saw the mobing conspiracies before moshang happened AND SHE SAW RED. she now wants moshang to crash and burn bc she hates mobei jun with an irrational passion. she is doing her best to sabotage whatever stupid publicity stunt this is

(ships: moshang, bingyuan, liujiu, mingling)

moshang had their own super slowburn romance of actor x director that happened over the course of years and the mutual pining was basically killing them both and they had their own dramatic love confessions and shit, but it all happened behind closed doors so no one knows any of that. all they know is that this relationship Makes No Sense and internet sleuths are very invested with UNCOVERING THE TRUTH

[officialspec]

What do you think gay men are attracted to in men that they can’t be attracted to in women?

It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives men-only attraction.

It can’t be anything about stated identity because someone could lie just as easily as they could tell the truth in such a statement, and it makes no sense because homosexuality and heterosexuality exists in other species with no stated identities. It’s not like other animals without gender are all pan.

Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait men have that women can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.

Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?

- [ ]

first off i hate this ask and i think youre a freak. in any other world i wouldve blocked you for this but unfortunately for both of us i actually like this type of philosophy. dont send this shit to anyone else though

i dont think its right to compare human sexuality to the same thing in animals, to get that out of the way. im sure until a certain point it comes from the same biological impulses, but human beings have way more complicated social structures and reasons for coupling that just do not exist in other animals. our social behaviours are what make us unique in the animal kingdom and that definitely extends to gender and sexuality. so theres that

people love to tout 'gender is a social construct' around like its a criticism in and of itself, which i think betrays a misunderstanding about social constructs in general. theyre the foundations we build language on to better understand each other, and affected by a whole host of cultural and historical factors. just because theyre subjective and complicated doesnt mean they arent real. in terms of the effect they have on peoples lives they may be the most real thing that exists

for example, 'kindness' is a social construct. the definition and ways it is enacted differ greatly across personal and cultural lines. but no one would ever suggest a world where kindness doesnt exist or loses meaning, because its an essential part of the way we interact with each other (in the same way i dont really see a world where gender entirely ceases to exist, mainly just one where people have more fun with it. im not a psychic though so who knows)

similarly, sexuality in humans is another social construct. i think the driving biological forces behind it are very real, but the labels people attach to those impulses are subjective attempts to express their inner world to the people around them if that makes sense. and those same biological impulses are ALSO subject to social ideas of gender, because those ideas are established at birth and reinforced over a persons entire lifetime

to use myself as an example, im a gay trans man. ive identified as other things in the past, because i was trying to pick apart feelings i had and express them to others in an attempt to find community. my identity might change as i get older and experience new things, or it might not. i identify as gay because im not attracted to the social concept of women, and someone i would otherwise be attracted to might lose all appeal after i find out they fall under that concept (this has happened before w transfems pre and post coming out lol)

of course, the real REAL answer to this is that trying to give queer identities rigid and objective definitions is a fools errand, and also lame as fuck. someone might identify as gay and be more attracted to general masculinity than men as a social category, maybe they fool around with a couple of butch women without considering themself any less gay. two otherwise identical people might be a butch lesbian and a gay trans man without either of those identities coming into conflict. they might even be the same person at different times of the week

the labels people choose to use are communication tools, not objective signifiers. if you dont understand them, they probably arent talking to you

social constructs are everything. we as humans have the unique ability to interpret our own messy desires and impulses into words that other people can use to form an idea of someone else in their mind. its how we build connections, and of course it isnt perfect because trying to squeeze someones entire personal history and the centuries of context that defined it into a handful of syllables is going to leave some room for error. but its all we have, yknow? so we keep trying. and i think thats much more human than any imposed objective 'truth' could ever be

tldr we live in a society dipshit. get with it

[misfithive]

What I think Simon likes about Wille

I have seen some discussions about “why Simon even like Wille” (😔☹️💔) both here and elsewhere. I'm bored sooooo here is my list of what I think! I admit when I first watched I used to wonder sometimes why Simon liked him, mostly bc the back and forth hot and cold of season 1 could understandably be exhausting however once i thought about it I came up with many things. (some are hc ish ) :) I also think that if you love wilmon's relationship then you can see what they see in eachother. Two people (Wilmon) created that dynamic together both of them are loving/open/gentle with each other it is deeper than " i like that he sings and he is pretty"- they like how the other person makes them feel which is different I think than what is usually portrayed in teen relationships. People focus too much on their fights/angst sometimes and not their nice moments I think the good outweighs the bad. Also why i believe in endgame bc they have something deep and special.

1. I think Simon thinks Wille is adorable in a dorky way or finds him endearing. When Wille dropped the utensil after their first real convo Simon was blushing and giggling

2. Wille actively seeks him out a lot and tries to help Simon when he can/ When someone is giving you that kind of attention it is flattering and shows how kind Wille is (the tip about tutoring, the rowing tips, the song on the piano). Thats a quality someone would find attractive

3. Similarly when they are together Wille’s attention and energy is solely focused on him / Wille smiling at him adoringly all the time. I think that would make anyone feel special and especially if you are like Simon and spend a lot of energy caring for/thinking about other people

4. Wille is generally very gentle with Simon which is beautiful and also imagine someone being that gentle with u and holding u like that im sure u would fall in love too lmfao even tho simon is asleep I think he felt it and this isnt the only example I just like the picture hehe

5. Wille wears his heart on his sleeve. Simon is more guarded with his feelings i think he could drawn to how open/expressive/ softhearted Wille is with him. “I didn't want to lose you” “you are beautiful” etc

6. Wille makes him sandwiches asks him how he is doing a lot etc sorry but no boys were making me sandwiches as a teenager a lot of small things like this are still a big deal

7. Wille is a prince and he could be a total arrogant a** hole like everyone else at that school and no one would think twice but he is not. It takes a certain type of person to actively not be like that when u are born into that level of privilege and everyone will let you get away with whatever. I think Simon likes that Wille is different than than the other people at school who ignore him and treat him bad.

8. Simon feels safe around Wille (maybe with the exception of the music room scene) but they have a safe space together its a strong contrast to the dynamic with marcus and i think everything with marcus serves to highlight how special the dynamic is with Wille.

9. Wille gives good hugs

10. Wille is nice to Linda and tries to make her feel included Simon thought that was cute (it was very cute)

11. They can laugh together and see how silly (ridiculous) august/some of the antics of the other boys are

12. I could go on okay but love is not always rational and cant be contained in a list, they are soulmates and thats that!!!!!!!!!

//Adding that i think Omar said in an interview that despite what Simon says in the locker room he thinks Simon likes that Wille accepts him for who he is. But if anyone can find the clip pls share I dont wanna misquote him! //

[helluvagirlboss]

In light of the impending Ghostfuckers emotional damage, here’s a scenario that I don’t think will happen in the show, but I think it would be absolutely fucking hilarious (based on a conversation I had with @awkwardandeccentric )

Imagine later down the line after Blitz and Stolas have been in an established relationship, Blitz is now on decent terms with Octavia, and maybe Stolas has been working at IMP for a bit, Blitz decides to throw the company a party called the “Our Dads Sucked Party” because of how all of them have Daddy Issues.

Stolas, Blitz, and Moxxie are the obvious choices, but they include Loona too because her biological dad sucked. Octavia joins, despite having a good dad, but she does have Mommy Issues and more recently Uncle Issues (aka Andrealphus) and doesn’t wanna be left out.

Millie is there for moral support.

Blitz also invites Fizzarolli to this party because Fizz’s dad was fairly absent and that contributed a lot to his exploitation later in life.

And assuming he has made up with Barbie by this point, he invites her.

Eventually Blitz makes the executive decision to have an open invite.

He posts about it on Sinstagram that says “kum or dont, idc, fuk r shitti dads”

So Blitz doesn’t have the most popular following on Sinstagram and enough people hate him that he assumes like maybe a few extra people shows up so he just rents out a floor in one of the nicer buildings in the Pride Ring.

But instead of like a few extra people…like half of Hell shows up.

So many of his ex flings and one nights stands are there as well as a bunch of people he never dreamed he’d be in the same room with again.

Verosika shows up.

Angel Dust shows up.

Multiple Overlords show up.

Blitz panics.

Because now they have to rent out the whole damn building and he has to designate floors. Tailored to specific needs.

There’s the crying floor, the therapy floor, the rage floor, the fuck it we ball floor, the fuck it we fuck floor.

This proves difficult when someone in dire need of two or more floors can’t cross over, and it causes multiple fights, that he needs to break up.

Also he has to work overtime to keep the Overlords the fuck away from each other because he is not going to deal with the fallout if an Overlord feud gets too murdery.

(He also sees an interaction between Angel Dust and Valentino that sets off the red flags in his head that he really needs to keep Valentino specifically away from Angel.

Angel thanks him for it the next day.)

His last straw is when Lucifer fucking Morningstar shows up.

Absolutely not. Blitz refuses to lose cool points by having this party go sideways in front of the King of Hell Himself.

So he bites the bullet…and calls a certain hotel for help.

Turns out Princess Charlie Morningstar is more than eager to take an overwhelming majority of drunk party-goers into her hotel, and somehow manages to bed and feed all of them.

She gets stars in her eyes when multiple hungover residents express a desire to stay at the Hotel for longer.

(Husk tries to tell her it’s because they all have hangovers that’ll last them multiple days, but Vaggie’s spear shuts him up).

And that’s the story of how Charlie managed to fill up the Hazbin Hotel for the first time in forever and it’s all because Blitz decided to throw a party dedicated to everyone with daddy issues.

Blitz doesn’t know if he regrets everything or nothing.

He doesn’t regret the praise he gets for throwing the biggest party in Hell.

But he does regret the reparation bills he gets from the owner of the building he rented.

[mollyjames]

Been having a hard time lately expressing what I want from people helping me in video games. There's times when I appreciate it but other times when folks mean well but it spoils my fun.

I think it comes down to what I do and do not consider a waste if time. I like exploration and I like puzzles. In Souls games in particular, I like approaching combat as if it were a puzzle. That can mean figuring out an enemy's gimmick, or it can mean figuring out the moveset of this cool new weapon I just found. (It's also why I dont like relying too heavily on a single weapon. Something like the Bolt of Gransax is powerful, but it's also a bit of a skeleton key in combat: just shoot enemies from a distance until they die. More fun when you have to also run away from a dragon, less for mobs that die in one hit.)

When I get to a new area and someone tells me go to X location to get Y item, it's like they've told me the solution to a puzzle I barely got the chance to look at. I dont get to engage the part of my brain I find the most rewarding. Failure is also an important part of puzzle solving. It means I get to test ideas and learn new things. Telling me not to go a certain direction yet doesn't tell me anything. Even if ultimately I turn back, I still dont feel like I wasted my time because I learned something.

That's not to say I never want help. The other day I got stuck in one section of the DLC combing an area for over an hour trying to find a solution to a puzzle that I simply wasn't able to access yet. That was a waste of time. I also dont mind being flagged to check out certain areas. To me that isnt telling me the solution so much as telling me "hey, there's a fun puzzle over there! Go check it out!"

I dont know if that makes sense or if there's a cleaner way of expressing what I'm talking about here. Maybe I need to chill more. But I think curiosity is genuinely a major drive for me. I want it stoked, not bludgeoned.

[qoldenskies]

Just saw your post about enabler Raph and like yeah your totally right and so was the post below it, but like i couldn't see that and then just NOT think of ccverse like.................my brain is literally exploding thinking about them

ENABLER RAPH BUT ITS CC DONNIE LIKE AAAAHHHHHHHHHH like he (Raph) would be even worse, but on top of that, so would his entire family like,

ccverse family to donnie: here my sweet child have whatever you desire whatever you want, just say the word and it is yours, you could do no wrong, anything you desire under the sun is yours, just tell us

cc donnie: i want *insert anything that would cause him anguish and misery because he now believes he deserves it*

ccverse family: anything but that

every little donnie related thing just makes me go "how can i canary continuity this" these days so i COMPLETELY understand. and oh my god they are going to be such horrible enablers for him. this isnt only because of guilt and the soul-crushing trauma that came from hurting him, its also just because cc!donnie is the most polite considerate person ever, even if the REASONS come from such a horrible place. i honestly think he'd be that kind of charming to people who DONT have that kind of baggage with him, especially because he'll give a lot (maybe too much) and expect literally nothing back. ive also been completely certain that this is going to cause some overprotectiveness if he ever gets outside friends/a partner (although good chance they'll back off immediately if he actually expresses his boundaries, because they will ALWAYS part way for him if he asks for something unless it is obviously, overtly self-destructive.)

he's a really vulnerable person and he's lost the ability to cover that up with his old bite, and even once he starts to develop a more refined sense of humor again, its really hard to get genuine joy out of him, especially when he shies away when he's the center of attention and doesn't like surprises much. they want to hype him up SO bad all the time but that'll usually just freak him out LOL

and oh boy raph would be the absolute worst about it. like even as he's been shown in CW, its pointed out in the way that he thinks about donnie that he cares SOOOOO much about his approval. if raph thinks donnie is upset with him he will turn into a kicked puppy pretty much immediately and mope about it for like a week. raph will forever be too weak to say no to him.

honestly all of them have this in common, ESPECIALLY coming out of their fight with kitsune; the disparity between the way they act with donnie vs the way they act with people who might be a threat to him is so obvious that they almost look like different people. the dynamic between donnie and his brothers is a constant battle in an attempt to make their relationships with each other like 90/10 and somehow once things calm down that SOMEHOW makes it 50/50, its VERY funny to me. i love when concerning dysfunction combined somehow makes things level out and work somehow

[yourbigendergremlet]

Hi, I identified as Genderfluid until recently I discovered Bigender and I feel like maybe it fits me better but I'm not sure yet so I have some questions for you hat'll hopefully give me some more insight.

What's the difference between Bigender and Bigenderfluid or are they the same thing?

How can one if they only experience 2 genders or more?

How can one tell if they're how much of a certain gender they feel (Genderflux) ?

Thank you in advance.

Hi! Ill do my best to explain

1. Bigender is the experience of having two (or more, depending on the person) genders. This can be male and female or any combination of binary and nonbinary or any other genders. This can also mean they are simultanious, as in for me i feel bith like a male but also as a female. They also dont have to be the same amount (such as one is 70% and the other gender is 30%) or they can be fluid or flux (which is harder to differentiate and i will explain next) overall bigender feels like having two gendered feeling inside of you

Genderfluid is the experience of switching between genders, an example is one day someone feels female, the next day male, the next day nonbinary or other genders. They can switch genders within and hour, each day or even in years. The best way to explain it is the changing of flavours of the single gender you have

Bigender is the amount of stationary gendered feeling you have at a time whereas genderfluid is a singular gendered feeling but that gender changes flavour

Bigenderfluid is a combination of both, so instead of having two stationary genders at a time, you have two genders that change flavours, or maybe one is stationary and one changes flavour

2. Its hard to know if you experience two genders or more, honestly its just up to how you yourself interpret your feelings and how you want to define them. For me, i enjoy expressing as bith a male and female and identify with both so i declared myself to be bigender

3. Genderflux is another weird one to pin down. It is the amount of gender you feel at a time. Id say this is harder because sometimes you just dont think abiut your gender so it is hard to tell if your gender is flux or if you just dont think about it much. The most easiest blatant way to explain it i guess is if my gender is female, then at times, i feel fully female, i identify with other women and maybe i want to express femininely, but then ither times i feel less female so i feel less of a connection to that group of people, or i dont feel like expressing it as much, and then sometimes i can feel agender which means i dont feel any fendered feeling at all, so im mostly indifferent to it or i dont have a connection to other women or dont feel like them. And similarly to genderfluid, this can change between hours, minutes, days, years, whatever and is also a single gendered feeling that changes so it can be hard to tell the difference between them, that is why i identified as bignederfluid before i realised the difference in how i felt and started to identify as bigenderflux. Genderflux is a single gender that fades in and out

And again, bigenderflux is the combination of the two, so i have two stationary gendered feelings, and instead of changing flavours, they fade in and out, or someone could have one stationary gender and one that fades in and out

And of course someone could have a combination of the three, fluidflux being a single gendered feeling that changes flavour and also fades in and out etc.

Hope this helped!

[northern-passage]

is it weird/wrong of me to always play a lesbian character as a man? like no mater what if game i always try and be female, the man mc i just can fit into as a man myself. i dont think its anything to do with wanting to be a woman (but if i was reborn and able to chose how i looked and what gender i would be i would pick to be a woman) im just a bit confused becuse i have seen people say that im basiclly sexuallising lesbians and its very wrong of me to do that. im just lost becuse it dont want to sexualise that but i just feel more comfrotble being a woman in the game becuse it feels like im able to express myself more/be more emotinal, but if im a man ingame it jusr feels wrong of me to do any of that, like im not soppused to.

well... it doesn't really sound like you're sexualizing anyone. what you've described here doesn't really seem to have anything to do with sex in that way at all. it sounds like you just feel more comfortable playing as a woman and there's nothing wrong with that.

there are definitely some games that do write their male and female mcs differently & force them into a very strict gender role (ie man is always big, strong, stoic & masculine whereas woman is always small, dainty, emotional & feminine) and i can definitely understand that it can be uncomfortable being forced into that little box. as a butch lesbian myself i often don't like playing as a stereotypical "submissive feminine woman" & will sometimes choose to play as a man instead to avoid it.

there is absolutely nothing wrong with playing games or exploring characters that are different from you. in fact i think it's very important to learn about other people's experiences. my other game, blood choke, has a lesbian mc but i have no issue with other people playing it; in fact i encourage it!

and now, to be clear, i absolutely am just a random stranger on the internet and there is no way i can extrapolate anything about you and nor do i want to assume anything. but i really really urge you to maybe do some reflecting about why you may feel this way. maybe you are just uncomfortable with being confined to specific gender roles and that's absolutely fair on its own. we live in a patriarchal society that puts a lot of pressure on both women and men to be a certain way. you can express yourself and be emotional as a man, regardless of what society says, if that's what you want. and you can play games as a woman if that makes it easier for you to do that.

but you also just admitted to me that you feel more comfortable playing as a woman in self-insert games because you feel like you can better express yourself as a woman, and that if you had the chance, you would purposefully choose to be a woman in real life.

i feel like i have to let you know that you can actually be a woman in real life, right now, if that is what you really want instead.

at the end of the day i can't tell you what it is that you want nor can i really give you "permission" to do something. maybe none of this really applies to you at all-- again, i'm just a random person on the internet. i don't know you. but based on what you just told me i think it would be worth it for you to sit in these feelings and really think about them and what they may mean. maybe it means nothing. or.... maybe you learn something new about yourself.

either way, just know that what you're doing-- playing as a woman/lesbian-- is fine. especially if it is something that brings you comfort & allows you to express yourself in a way that you feel you normally can't.

much love to you anon 🫶

[barbthebuilder]

hey, it's alright if you cant answer this because i understand!

I'm having trouble with what my gender identity is, I'm afab, and i have always thought i was cis until early 2024. in jan i experimented with being genderfluid, as i realised how much i loved presenting masc and how it made me feel so much better being masc.

shortly after that, i had a weird feeling constantly while presenting masc or fem, where if i was fem i would just feel cis, but if i presented masc i would feel like i'm still cis but just dressing up. my solution to this was to choose a different name to the very feminine one i was assigned, so i chose charlie, which in my head is a very feminine name but also very masculine, based on the people ive seen with that name.

i decided on the lable nonbinary for a bit. (maybe 3 months or so) but when i was using just they/them pronouns i felt like i was missing out on the other genders i wanted to be, so i used they/he/she for a bit, which was fine.

i realised soon after that nobody was using he/him for me, so i dropped it because it felt like a waste and just used they/she, which made me extremely dysphoric, so i went back to they/them.

im currently using they/them, nonbinary, and dressing masc daily, (not wearing any makeup to avoid any dysphoria at all) BUT im also a lesbian. ive been a lesbian for about 2 years and im certain that i am, but can i be enby and lesbian ??? or any other lable and lesbian because thats another thing thats been making me feel weird about my gender

i know this is pretty confusing so if you dont know then i get it, no worries!! i hope you have a nice day :D

Yo, gender identity stuff can be pretty confusing so I don't balme you for feeling uncertian about all of this.

The experience of feeling like you basically fake being genderfluid is something I have dealt with in the early days too. You have identified as a woman for a very long time. It's natural that there is a part if you that rejects nonbinary thinking. You're just not used to thinking about yourself in other ways.

That too shall pass. Feeling like you're faking is temporary if you sureound yourself with good support system and reprogram binary thinking. That happened to me at least.

I can totally relate to feeling like you miss out on something while using they/them. I am personally fine with those pronouns but I much rather be called she or he.

Now, I want you to notice something. You expressed that the best set of pronouns for you that you experimented with was she/they/he. You stuck with those, however people did not use he/him for you. I said: "it felt like a waste". A waste of what? I wonder if there are other feelings involved here too. It just bugs me that you have changed such a big part of yourself beacuse of how everybody was treating you. Maybe the pronouns are not the problem here but how others use them on you.

You seem to be very uncomfortable with she/they and not fully yourself with they/them. Seems like the masculine part of you is a very important one. I don't think it would be true to yourself to reject or supress it.

I think the problem with realising what your gender identity is will be connected to your desire to conform. Don't ask yourself "will they accept me?" but "will I accept me?".

For example, you seem to be very strongly connected to your lesbian label but here you are asking complete stranger if you can use it. Are you a lesbian? If you want to, then yes. Don't try to be what others perceive you to be. Just. Be.

I'm not sure if this was helpful lol. Let me know if you want to! I'm always open to the chatter. Sending lots of love!! <33

[sophieinwonderland]

i dont think i really get the whole x-punk thing. like for some, yes, its a form of self expression... but also just... use the word punk?

i get a new tag sort of but everyones arguing on whats REALLY punk, and i think many punks wouldn't waste their time arguing about whos excluded from the punk label and would instead, you know, fight for what they think is right in ways that would change things? just going "ew endos bad and fake and not REAL systems" doesnt change the fact that even disordered DID/OSDD systems still need acceptance and to be understood and helped and not be treated as some super rare basically impossible thing that .0001 percent of the population has. maybe correcting people from using "multiple personality disorder" or starting a DID/OSDD support group in your community might be a start.

but all these anti endos just want to have the label systempunk to sound cool while still being exclusive and spending their time arguing against "the endos" because they're "making doctors not listen to us" when newsflash, the doctors are already ableists, and you need to help educate them instead of yelling at other victims. but okay

i swear some of the x-punk things just sound like it's cool and exclusive for only certain punks and all they care about is appearance. looking like a punk and poorly playing the part i guess.

I agree with most of this, but I actually really love the idea behind the x-punk labels.

As I understand, this started with cripplepunk, which is centered around applying punk values to disability pride, rejecting ableist societal ideals that expect people with disabilities to behave one way to be deserving of support, while celebrating individuality and pride in who you are.

Terms like madpunk and neuropunk sprung out of that for neurodiverges.

I know there's debate over whether cripplepunk should be exclusive to people with physical disabilities or if it should be an umbrella for all disabilities, and that sort of gatekeeping can breed toxicity between communities that are both victims of ableism and should be seeking solidarity.

But whatever your stance on that debate is, I do feel these labels are important for people in these groups looking to take pride in who they are and reject both systemic ableism and internalized ableism. Because cripplepunk and its offshoots are more than the sum of their parts. It's more than just punk and it's more than just disability pride.

The problem with Systempunk

With systempunk, anti-endos took a look at an already punk community, Pluralpunk, and decided to make something that was less punk.

Their view of systemhood is based purely on what they perceive as the medical model of systemhood, or what their friends say that is. Anything that doesn't conform to that is bad.

And their values aren't based on fighting against an ablesist society or psychiatry or anything of the sort. No, because to them, the real problem is this other group of plurals and so-called "fakers".

And their problem with pluralpunk was that it was too individualistic.

It celebrated people who were too different and too weird.

It was fundamentally too punk for them.

So anyway, yeah. I like a lot of other types of x-punk labels. I don’t like ones that try to strip away the punk from them though, and are only interested in using punk as an aesthetic.