#15 comes out 14 Literally Quitting

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

if 9&10 were "dont wander off", and 11&12 were "the doctor lies", 13s rule #1 is "dont question me"

"have we not had a good time together" shes pointing yaz to the rule that yaz very well knows is there: we can travel if you dont ask me any difficult questions. yaz knows this is the rule - "because you ask too many questions", "this team structure isnt flat" - but she also was the one to invite the doctor into her home so im pretty sure she also knows shes not gonna kicked out that easily. she has some leeway. which she has been using between revolution and flux, which is why the doctor reminds her of the rules

i dont think she'd kick her out though. she wouldnt. i think it's just that the more you break the rule, the more unpleasant she becomes to be around, and eventually youre gonna walk out on your own. she doesnt want you to, she'd rather you stay and dont ask questions. but if youre gonna try to ask questions anyway, i think thats whats gonna happen

and yaz must think so too. because she does back off. because she doesnt want that to happen either. and it does anyway

[nosyp]

Twst chars from most to least likely to entertain ur weird bs

Note = by weird bs, I mean like ur random ass behaviours, from screaming random stuff to pranking ppl... This has been in my drafts for a whileee... enjoy

MOST

Ace Trappola

Ace is LITERALLY the embodiment of chaos. He loves to stir things up and will almost always jump into pranks or loud public behavior. His mischievous nature and carefree attitude make him a perfect partner in crime for wild antics. He’ll often initiate chaos just for fun, and his energy is contagious.

2. Kalim Al-Asim

This is a no brainer, he'll literally join in everything and ANYTHING you're doing, no matter how busy he is. He thinks everything your doing is fun and he won't wanna miss it for the world.

3. Cater Diamond

Cater LIVES for content and trends. Anything that promises or even slightly hints at entertainment (or is post-worthy) will have him fully engaged, he's listening as soon as you mention anything fun. He’ll even suggest to turn your antics into videos or memes.

4. Lilia Vanrouge

He literally tricks his friends for no absolute reason at all. ANYTHING that promises trouble for him, he's in. He adores chaos and he'll go wherever it goes and it's going in your direction.

5. Floyd Leech

Floyd loves unpredictability, so as long as your antics keep him entertained, he’s gonna be there. But once he gets bored, you’re on your own so you better keep it fun.

6. Jade Leech

He enjoys watching chaos unfold, and while he might not always start it, he’ll definitely join in. And he's not going to deny entry in your chaos.

7. Ruggie Bucchi

Another no brainer, bro literally tricks people for his own benefit. He is down for fun, especially if it’s harmless pranks or mischief. He loves silly ideas as long as they don’t get him into trouble.

8. Rook Hunt

Rook finds beauty in everything, even your weirdness. He’ll narrate your antics poetically while fully participating, making everything feel dramatic and epic, only further motivating you into doing smt crazier.

In the middle of most and least likely, varies on the situation kinda guy

9. Sebek Zigvolt

He’s loud, intense, and has a strong presence, especially when it comes to Malleus. And while he might not always go along with pranks, he can certainly be swept up in the moment, especially if it involves defending his pride.

10. Deuce Spade

Yes, he might be quite dumb sometimes but he is not like that all the time. But when he’s in a group, he’ll sometimes get swept up in the chaos, but it’s not something he seeks out on his own. He enjoys the excitement but can feel out of place in overly loud, chaotic situations.

11. Ortho Shroud

He'll engage with genuine enthusiasm, analyzing your dopamine levels to determine whether or not he'll join. If it’s wholesome, he’s all in. However, if it’s dangerous, expect him to step in with big-brother energy (even if he's younger).

12. Epel Felmier

Since epel is a bit more rebellious and will join in on chaotic behavior when it suits him. He’s not afraid to break the rules, especially if it’s for a good reason. BUT he might be hesitant to start chaos on his own but will happily get involved if it’s fun or a way to express himself.

13. Jamil Viper

Jamil is composed and prefers to keep things orderly, but he’s not completely against chaos. If it serves his goal or it’s in the best interest of his plans, he will engage but he’s not the first to initiate chaos, but he’ll follow along if it’s part of his strategy or if it helps him control the situation.

14. Azul Ashengrotto

Azul prefers things to be controlled and orderly, and he isn’t one to create chaos just for fun. However, if there’s a situation where the chaos might even benefit him or his business, he won’t hesitate to join in. His motivations are more strategic, so he’s likely to engage in pranks or chaos if it serves a purpose.

15. Leona Kingscholar

Leona is the type to avoid unnecessary noise and chaos, preferring peace and quiet. However, if he’s in a good mood or if chaos is tied to something that interests him, he might engage. He’s not the first to start pranks, but he might join in if he finds it amusing or if it helps him relax.

16. Malleus Draconia

Malleus doesn’t actively seek chaos, but his curiosity and fascination with human behavior make him more likely to get involved in loud or chaotic situations, especially if they intrigue him. He’s not loud or disruptive by nature, but he’ll join in if he’s in a group, or if the situation calls for it.

17. Jack Howl

Jack is a serious guy, but he’s also loyal to his friends. If the situation calls for it or if his friends are involved, he’ll reluctantly join in on pranks or chaotic activities. He’s not one to seek out chaos, but he’ll participate if it’s necessary or if it helps bond with others.

18. Silver

Silver will go along with your antics even though he might not fully understand the point. BUT if it’s too chaotic for him, he’ll try to steer you toward calmer activities, kinda saving u and him from trouble.

19. Riddle Rosehearts

Riddle is strict and values rules and order above all else. His temper can get the better of him, though, especially if someone challenges his authority or pushes his limits. He might reluctantly get involved in chaos, particularly if it’s something that breaks the rules, but he’s not someone who enjoys it on a daily basis.

LEAST (No way, nuh uh)

20. Trey Clover

Trey is calm, collected, and extremely responsible. He values order and structure and will steer clear of any chaotic or loud activities. You'll NEVER catch him dragged into chaos, willingly.

21. Vil Schoenheit

Vil is all about maintaining perfection, both in his appearance and in his environment. He won’t tolerate loud or chaotic behavior, as it conflicts with his polished image. He avoids situations that might risk his reputation or status and is very unlikely to partake in any public mayhem.

22. Idia Shroud

It's no secret that Idia WAY prefers to stay out of the spotlight. He would rather stay in his room gaming than get involved in chaotic public behavior. Loud pranks and disruptive activities are his worst nightmare, and he avoids them at all costs.

A/N = The order is so... tacky ew... pls tell me if you disagree or there are any mistakes🙏

[mattitties]

Boyfriend, pt 2 - matt sturniolo

you guys asked, so i delivered (hopefully)

part 1 here

I left the party last night feeling on top of the world. I recounted everything to my best friend the second Matt had left and she came back to me.

“I came back from the bathroom and saw you guys totally hitting it off, so I just stood back and watched. I thought he was about to bend you over the bar and fuck you right there,” she told me. 

It’s now the next morning and I’m trying to distract myself and not think about the fact that he hasn’t texted me yet. It’s only 10 AM, so I really shouldn’t be worried, but as someone who doesn’t talk to boys literally ever, I am naturally very worried. 

As the hours pass and it’s now 2 PM, I go into my roommate’s room. “Why hasn’t he texted me? Do you think he was just fucking with me? What if I didn’t give him the right number and he’s now texting some other hotter bitch instead of me? What if I was-” I start to ramble before she cuts me off.

“Oh my god, shut up! It’s been like 14 hours, chill out! He’s gonna text you, and if he doesn’t, he doesn’t. We don’t know anything about him, he could be sleeping still or he could be having a busy day. Take a Xanax or something, good gracious,” she tells me, finishing just as my phone vibrates.

I check it absentmindedly, fully expecting it to be my mom or a spam text, but instead I see an unknown number.

Hey it’s Matt, just wanted to see when your free to hang out?

I let out a shriek and show my roommate my screen.

“Fucking told you!” she says excitedly before her face changes. “Oh boy, he’s one of the fuckers who doesn’t know the difference between your and you’re. You gotta fix that.”

“Oh for sure,” I say, starting to type in my phone.

hey :) i’m free tonight or tmr if either of those work

Tonight is good, I can pick you up around 6 and we can get dinner. How does Boa sound?

“Oh my god. He wants to take me to Boa,” I tell my roommate. I’m just about on the verge of vomiting everywhere.

“Oh fuck yeah! Mr. Moneybags over here!” she cheers.

that sounds great!

Sick, whats your addy so I know where to pick up my gf ;)

I give him my address, turn off my phone, and immediately go to my room to take an everything shower and get ready.

I’m finishing up my hair at 5:30 when I get another text: Leaving now, be there in 15 min. I made reservation for 6

I don’t know why I’m so nervous. I was so confident around him last night, but now I feel like a completely different person. I’m terrified I’m gonna be an awkward mess when I get in the car and he’s gonna wonder what happened to the girl he met last night and I won’t even be able to eat I’m so nervous and–

Nope, I’m not worrying anymore. It’s gonna be fine. I triple check everything to make sure I look good, and finally he texts that he’s here.

I grab my bag, go downstairs, and open the front door to our apartment complex, where I’m met with a very familiar face standing next to it. He’s wearing a black short sleeve collared shirt, blue jeans, and a black baseball cap he put on backwards. Man, he looks good as fuck. 

He looks up when he sees me and smiles. “Hi,” he says. “Car’s right there. I was going to come in but then I saw I had to be buzzed into the building and I didn’t know which apartment was yours, so…” It seems that his confidence from last night has lessened quite a bit as well, as now he’s just awkwardly rambling. I find it adorable.

I shake my head and smile. “You’re fine, this is perfect.” I follow his lead to his car, and am surprised when he opens the passenger door for me. “Thank you,” I say as I get in, and he shoots me another quick smile before closing the door and going to the driver’s side. 

“So Boa, huh? You really are trying to show off your YouTube bucks,” I joke.

“Me and my brothers go there a lot, it’s not really that expensive,” he says. 

“Speak for yourself! I was looking at the menu and almost had an aneurysm at the prices!”

He laughs and glances at me. “Well lucky for you, you’re not the one paying, are you?”

We continue our banter for a few minutes before there’s a lull in the conversation. “Do you wanna put some music on? Here’s the aux cord,” he tells me, pulling out a cord.

“Oh,” I say, immediately regretting all my life choices. I am historically NEVER on aux in any situation because my music taste is comprised of Taylor Swift, dad rock, and depressing music. “Um… you may not like my music. We can just play whatever you like.”

He looks at me wearing a tiny frown. “What! You’re the passenger, you get aux. Whatever you play will be fine.”

I sigh dramatically as I plug my phone in and queue Taylor. “Okay, but if you don’t like it, just remember I gave you a chance to say no.” He nods. I watch his face to gauge his reaction as “The Story of Us” starts to play, and I roll my lips into my mouth to hide my laughter when he recognizes the voice. 

“Yayyyy,” he says sarcastically. “I love Taylor Swift…”

The rest of the drive consists of me explaining to him that if he was willing to give her music a try, he would definitely enjoy her music. I was fully expecting him to laugh it off and come back with some smart ass comment about her as nearly every other man does, but he seemed genuinely interested in what I was saying. “You’re right,” he told me. “Maybe we can listen together and you can show me more of her stuff!”

I think I fell in love right there.

When we arrive at Boa, the man nearly eats shit rushing around to open the passenger door for me, and walks slightly ahead of me to get the door for the restaurant. Neither of us have any ounce of the same flirty energy we had last night, but there’s no awkwardness at all. I still can’t believe this is happening. The hottest guy I’ve ever seen, he’s a perfect gentleman, we have so much in common, and he’s actually into me? It seems far too good to be true.

“So,” I say when we get seated, “what exactly made you feel the need to come up to me last night? Did I really look that uncomfortable?”

“Oh, you looked like you were about ready to sink into the floor. I mean, in all honesty, I was kind of eyeing you all night but I didn’t have the courage to come up to you, so I guess I sort of used that as an excuse to do something. Plus saving you from creepy guy and all,” he replies.

“Well, thank you, no matter what your reasoning was.” I look around the restaurant. I feel so out of place, it’s disgusting. I’ve only lived in LA for a couple months, so I still feel like I don’t belong, especially when I end up in the same restaurants that people get papped outside of. But somehow, even in a place like this, I feel oddly safe and at peace with a man that I met not even 24 hours prior. 

I’ve never been much of a great conversationalist; if I’m in a one on one conversation, the other person needs to be a rambler for it to not be awkward. But he’s not a rambler, and we both are just so invested in what the other person is saying that it’s somehow a never ending conversation. We have so much in common – our love for movies, Legos, journaling, us both attempting to get back into reading after going so long without it – I feel like I’ve known him my whole life. It’s so refreshing, and it’s terrifying. I know I’m going to fall for him fast. I may be already, but I can’t be. We just met. 

He pulls me out of my trance by repeating his question. “You ready to go?”

“What? Oh, yeah, sorry. Um, thanks for paying,” I smile as I get up. 

“Of course! What kind of a man would I be if I didn’t pay on our first date?” he jokes. 

“Ohhh, our first date? Does that imply there’ll be a second?” I ask as I get in the car.

“Would you like there to be a second?” 

“I mean I guess…” I smirk at him. We’re both looking at each other, smiling ever so slightly. I want nothing more than to kiss him right now, and I’m 99% sure he wants the same based on the way his eyes are shifting focus from my eyes to my lips. I’m about to lean in when –

“I should get you home.”

Oh. I nod. “Yeah… yeah, probably.” I sit back in my seat.

He turns on the car and Taylor Swift blasts through the speakers. “JESUS–” he yells, turning the volume down as we both start laughing. “I know I said you could show me her stuff but let’s take it down a notch, god damn!”

We don’t talk at all during the drive home, but it’s nice. Just the music in the background, and subtle glances between us every so often. When we pull up in front of my apartment complex, he parks the car and turns it off, then starts to get out.

“You don’t need to get out, it’s okay,” I tell him.

“Well I have to make sure you get into your apartment safe, don’t I?” Again, what a gentleman. I didn’t even think people like him existed anymore. I smile to myself and lead the way, taking him up to the 4th floor and down the hall to my door. “I guess this is where I leave you?” he asks.

“Unfortunately, this is where you leave me.” I’m looking up at him, he’s looking down at me. I can tell he wants to say something, and I hope it’s what I think it is.

He opens his mouth, takes a sharp inhale. “Can I kiss you?”

Bingo. I smile and nod, holding his jaw lightly in my hand. He takes my waist with one hand and the back of my head with the other, and our lips collide softly in a matter of seconds. I haven’t kissed many guys, but they’ve always felt just a little off and I never knew why. But this? This feels right. It’s gentle, but our tongues slip into each other's mouths as the kiss grows deeper. I know I need to stop this here, as much as I don’t want to. I give in for a few more seconds before I pull back. 

“I, um… I need to go inside,” I tell him, completely unable to wipe the smile off my face.

“Okay,” he says, pushing a piece of hair behind my ear. “I’ll text you, because yes, there definitely will be a second date.”

“Good.” I kiss him one last time before I unlock my door. “Goodnight, Matt.”

“Goodnight.”

———————————————————————

i probably won’t do a part 3 because idk how to keep it interesting from here but if you have other fic requests lmk and i’ll do my best 😚

[hannieween]

lunacy | city lights series | h.js

You could no longer hide your infatuation over Joshua Hong. It was becoming painfully obvious, though you weren't sure to what extent he was aware of this. Or if he even cared, for that matter.

✮ pairings: joshua hong x female reader ✮ genre: angst, smut (18+) ✮ aus: rock singer joshua, neighbors with benefits ✮ word count: 18.8k

↣ part i – part ii – part iii – navi post – other fics

₊🎧: underwater - baekhyun ♡︎ | shutdown - moon byul and seori ♡︎ | beautiful liar - monsta x ♡︎ | more - i.m ♡︎ ₊ nsfw warnings under the cut!!

✮ warnings: mentions of menstruation, smut with plot, dom Joshua, sub reader, big dick Joshua, phone sex, dirty talks, foul language, corruption kink, praise kink, exhibitionism: bj in a public space, cum swallowing, multiple sex scenes, masturbation, oral sex (f, m), brat taming: orgasm denial and pussy slaps, unprotected sex, creampie, pet names: pretty girl, baby, princess, sweetheart, bunny (hers) baby boy (his)

part iv

In your few years being a full time writer, you've made little traditions to keep for yourself.

For example, each time you started outlining your drafts, you'd go to a special spot in your favorite library, near the windows to watch people walk by on the streets. It helps your brain flow with ideas and brainstorm for hours.

Whenever you need to come up with stronger ideas for a plot, or find yourself in a bit of a writer's block, you go to the rooftop of your building. A tradition which has started to taint under the memories of you and Joshua, because quite inevitably, you start thinking of him.

And whenever you submit a finished draft, you tend to go elsewhere. Literally, you buy a ticket and go somewhere else, distract yourself for a little while, even sometimes, you give yourself the luxury to stay in a hotel for a night or two and come back feeling like a new person.

This time, you only bought a ticket for same day travel. But the method of transportation was by train. Which suited your needs a little bit more: you could see the landscape roll by your eyes, the openness of the outskirts of your city was beautiful—so different from looking out the window and seeing big tall buildings and billboards.

You've only visited this city once, when you published your first book years ago. As a young writer, you didn't have much money to go anywhere but there.

But you came across a gem: the town was colorful, it had its own quiet magic of a place loved and celebrated by the people who lived there.

When you first visited, you felt alien to the silent movement of the day. It was so strange to you that at first you got an eerie chill that maybe you got to a ghost town by accident, being so used to the buzz of the city throughout the day.

That's why you chose to come here as soon as you submitted your finished draft. It felt like sending a love letter and then hiding under your bed covers.

There was a small creek in the middle of the beautiful town, and a wooden bridge stood above it. You sat on a bench near the creek, the only noise filling your brain was the current of the stream.

Until the buzz of your phone interrupted that peace.

[9: 14 AM] Yen ✿: good news! [9: 14 AM] Yen ✿: you've been green lighted the second installment to your trilogy   [9: 14 AM] Yen ✿: yay! 🥰 [9: 15 AM] you: What? they already finished reading it? I sent it at midnight ???  [9: 15 AM] Yen ✿: of course you're up already  [9: 15 AM] Yen ✿: they haven't read it yet, that much i can tell you but  [9: 15 AM] Yen ✿: idk what to say girl [9: 15 AM] Yen ✿: they already want to know you're working on book 2

That doesn't make sense, you said to yourself.

[9: 16 AM] Yen ✿: why do i feel like this is bad news  [9: 16 AM] Yen ✿: are u not excited or  [9: 16 AM] you: I am! this is great!  [9: 16 AM] you: I'm already working on book 2 :) [9: 16 AM] Yen ✿: great i'll tell them  [9: 16 AM] Yen ✿: btw what happened to mr hot neighbor  [9: 17 AM] Yen ✿: 👀👀  [9: 17 AM] you: Can we have that conversation on another day? I don't want to think about him right now [9: 17 AM] Yen ✿: fine

But it was entirely too late.

Memories of the last night you spent with Joshua started to flood your mind. You saw him last that Saturday night when you asked him to continue with your little agreement of being fuckbuddies.

He agreed. So you agreed to not see each other on Sunday, but what did happen was that he finally asked for your number. Though as expected, he hadn't texted yet.

That was another reason for your departure today. As soon as the clock hit midnight and it was Monday, you sent your file with the finished draft of your book and booked a ticket for the magical town you remember having visited in your first publishing experience.

Will he text? He hadn't all Sunday, so you didn't see it foreseeable that he would on Monday. Well, what do you actually know about him? You knew a few things. You seemed to have measured his behavior really well but what else did you know?

Nothing.

Not his birthday, his favorite color, his favorite song or movie. Does it matter? He's your fuckbuddy. There are no rules as to what you should know about the person you're fucking.

There may be a few details that are pertinent to doing what fuckbuddies do, yes. Like protection and being tested and such, a thing that you already had covered with Joshua, obviously.

But, should you know your fuckbuddy's favorite color? You knew that he didn't like to kiss you while fucking you, for example. And he conveniently fucks you in positions that distance your hands from his face so you can't touch him either.

Why does that feel like a bitter pill to swallow? Ah, yes. You have a terrible infatuation over him. Like a thorn that you do not dare to remove. In fact, you like the pain you get from it because it's the only thing you'll get.

You let out a broken sigh, swallowing your tears. You felt particularly emotional that day—a sign of your upcoming cycle, so your hormones were working twice as hard.

Another reason to stay away from Mr. Hot Neighbour, if you will.

Despite the sunny day, the temperature was growing colder, so that the season was changing to winter. You liked the mixed taste of it, the sunny sky and chill in the air, sitting by the peaceful creak of the ghost town.

You had a pending decision looming in your mind from the moment you took the train in the break of daylight. Should you tell Joshua how you feel? Is it something you thought helped your situation?

There was nothing you could compare your situation to your past experiences. Your past lovers never got to be as relevant as Joshua. No lover ever shook your heart so hard to the point of hurting. It wasn't just the sex, or his crushing beauty—you were well aware of that. 

You just fell in love of the way your bodies synced together. The way that he seemed to hear your thoughts and read the way your body moved so well. He made you feel seen.

Maybe it's not a great idea to confess to him. But you could try another way, maybe taunt him with silly questions about love, like you did before. 

After what seemed like an hour had passed, you opened the small portable cooler you brought with your person. You came prepared with a meal to have in the quietness of the creak, hearing the sounds of nature and the quiet life of the little town around you.

It was a peaceful day, the only thing that disrupted it was your pending talk with Joshua, which still resided in your head, wasn't even a fact yet.

You planned to stay until sunset, which due to the fact that winter was onset, happened early. You chose to read a book on the two hour trip back home, which was a good choice since it had been a while since you read something other than your own work.

In the elevator of your building, you found yourself wishing for a night of peaceful uninterrupted sleep. You didn't want to suffer from insomnia for a good while, although you knew that with your second book green lit, that might be happening soon.

You stifled a yawn as you got to your apartment. It was 7 PM and you decided that it might be a good idea to prepare yourself for bed. You drew yourself a bath, had a small meal and went overboard and induced yourself to sleep with melatonin—for good measure.

The good thing was that it was a dreamless, heavy sleep.

You woke up the next day feeling incredibly groggy and much to your demise, felt the silent announcement of the beginning of your cycle. With a groan, you dragged yourself out of bed and kick started your day.

[11:55 AM] joshua: bunny, are you busy today?

You stared at your screen for a good while. You were in the middle of your daily chores, cleaning your mail and responding to some others when your phone buzzed on your desk.

You turned the silent mode on and decided to respond to it later.

Why does he have to call you that? Does it hurt him to call you by your name?

Easy, you told yourself.

[18:31 PM] joshua: i'll take that as a yes ? [18:34 PM] you: I'm free tonight

You bit your lip. God, why do you feel like a teenager that time you first talked to the person you had a crush on?

[18:34 PM] you: But we can't do anything [18:34 PM] joshua: what do you mean ? [18:37 PM] joshua: are you in?

Your stomach dropped.

[18:37 PM] you: Are you outside my door right now?  [18:37 PM] joshua: where else? [18:37 PM] joshua: open up [18:37 PM] you: Let yourself in

You removed your cancellation headphones from your head and attempted to smooth your hair to appear at least decent and not like the little study mouse you were the whole day.

"Bunny? Where are you?" you heard his sweet voice call from the living room.

"In the study," you replied just as Joshua pushed the door open, sneaking his head in first.

"Hi there," he smiled at you sweetly, looking around like a child in a toy shop. "Wow, this room is so... you."

You laughed. "Is that so?"

"I like it," he nodded, looking at the shelves upon shelves stacked with books and clutter, collection toys and figures from your favorite media. Fairy lights on the walls, a couch on the side that hosted your small army of squishmallows that moved the first night that Joshua slept in.

"Thank you," you replied with an excited smile.

"So? What do you mean we can't do 'anything'?," he did bunny ears over the word.

"I'm... going through stuff," you said, making a circle motion with your palm toward your lower belly.

"Oh," he blinked, then cocked his head to one side. "And?"

It was your turn to blink in bewilderment. "What do you mean 'and'? Is it not super gross for men to even hear the word menstruation?"

"Maybe, for some. I don't know. I don't care," he shrugged with ease. "You've never had period sex, I take it?"

"Joshua! No!" you chastised, your stomach fluttering uneasily when he laughed.

His nose wrinkled as he giggled. "Sorry, but you can't expect me to be grossed out by a little blood. I've done it before, if it makes you feel better."

"It does not," you replied with sincerity, crossing your arms and standing from your armchair.

He was wearing what he usually wore when he was home. Sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt. His hair was unlike the last time you saw him, it hung loose and you just loved it, it made you want to run your fingers through his dark locks.

"Well, if you don't want to have sex tonight, maybe we can chill instead, if you want," he shrugged as he took some aimless steps in your office room.

Your stomach tightened. "What do you mean?"

"We could watch a movie," his hand brushed his hair distractedly.

"I-I was actually about to go out," you blurted.

"Oh, you were?" his eyes scanned you briefly.

"To the drugstore. I'm... running out of supplies," you muttered, feeling your blood run to your cheeks.

He smirked. "Bunny, you don't have to be shy with me. Come on, I'll come with."

"O-okay," you muttered. "Let me get a bag."

It felt weird to walk down to the drugstore with Joshua strolling by your side. Doing simple ordinary things with him was something new to you, since you only saw him in your bedroom, and occasionally on the rooftop of the building you both live in.

When you found yourself wishing he would take your hand, you dug both your hands on the large pocket of your hoodie.

"How did it go? Your book thing," he asked, breaking the ice.

You smiled at his choice of words. "It went well. They want me working on the second book already."

"Oh, that sounds good," he gave you a gentle smile. "But they don't give you like, time to rest or something like that?"

"Well, I screwed up a bit because I was a little ahead of deadline and told them the second book was in the works, so there's no time to rest," you shrugged.

"I get it," he nodded. "I don't get days off either. It's either recording vocals, writing music, networking or something else."

"Did you have to work yesterday too?" you asked with genuine curiosity.

"I went back to the studio because Jihoon wanted me to re-record some lines. We went on a rabbit hole after that 'cause he's nervous about possibly working with major producers. We're self-produced for now," he smiled and rolled his eyes at the memory.

"Was it good though, at the end?"

"Oh, yeah. The perfectionist he is, he didn't stop until he okayed it," he nodded and opened the door of the drugstore for you and you muttered a word of thanks. "And the day before... Sunday. Yeah, I normally go out with my mom—or try to."

"Oh?" you pushed your eyebrows up. "What did you do this time?"

"We had lunch and then visited a botanical garden. Drove her home after that," he told you with an absent smile, probably remembering his day with his mom.

Your heart swelled with fondness. "That sounds really nice, Joshua," you replied, trying not to show the emotion you felt.

"Yeah," he seemed to snap himself from his train of thought, looking up to the aisles. "I don't know where I'm going, I'm following you."

You laughed. "Don't worry, you won't get lost baby boy," you said with an air of confidence as you turned to the aisle where you'd find what you needed.

"Did you just call me baby boy?" he giggled goofily.

You ignored him, throwing in the basket your supplies.

"You told me you needed supplies, bunny. What's this?" he said, looking up to the shelves. "Snacks?"

"These are my supplies," you said with a whine. "Don't judge me."

"I'm not judging," he lifted his palms to your view. "Whatever you need."

"I actually do need to collect something from the counter," you said, fishing your prescription from your pocket but not showing it to him.

"Oh, are you sick?" he inquired as he followed you out of the snacks section and toward the counter.

You kindly handed your prescription to the lady and she handed back birth control pills. Then when it was time to pay, you tried to hide your blushing face to Joshua, who could probably notice your natural shyness kicking in, no matter if he stood behind your back.

"Are you on the pill? Why did you never tell me?" he muttered beside you as you both walked out of the drugstore with your bag full of supplies.

"Not yet," you frowned, though your face felt hot. "In theory and according to this, I begin today," you told him, keeping your eyes glued to the sidewalk.

"I see," he replied, seemingly thoughtful. But then, he asked: "So we're watching movies tonight?"

"Yeah, that'd be nice," you admitted. "It's been ages since I watched a movie at home—or at the cinema, for that matter."

"Cinema," he smiled. "Sometimes I forget that you're an old lady."

"Shut up, Joshua," you scoffed but couldn't help the growing smile on your face.

The only way you could describe your apartment was something akin to a fortress: never short of food or supplies, you had everything you ever needed for entertainment, you worked there most of the time. You were lucky to have made it your little fortress—and well, also you worked hard to keep it that way.

When you got back home with Joshua, you freshened up in the bathroom and changed into comfier clothes and brought a blanket to the living room, where you had a decent tv screen.

"What do you prefer for tonight, princess?" Joshua asked as you returned to the living room wearing your comfiest attire.

"Aren't you choosing tonight?" you asked as you sat beside him on your couch and threw the blanket over your legs.

"What, you're not sharing?" he asked, looking at your fluffy blanket.

"I can bring another blanket for you," you blurted, feeling deeply embarrassed.

"What if I only want to share yours?" he pouted cutely, he even made puppy eyes.

Don't torture me like that, your inner voice pleaded to him. 

"I- we can share," you smiled abashedly. "Sorry, I just didn't think-"

"I'm just playing with you, bunny," he laughed merrily.

You stopped cold. "I- what do I do?" you blurted. "Do you want to share or not?"

"Oh, you sweet thing. Alright, let's share," he exhaled. "We're watching horror, then."

"O-okay," you muttered, feeling deeply flustered at the whole exchange.

The blanket covered you and Joshua perfectly. It was large enough to cover your whole bed. So you confidently propped your feet bundled up in fluffy socks on your coffee table without the blanket falling off or uncovering Joshua.

"You can do the same," you suggested to him after he saw you put your feet up on the surface of your otherwise neat coffee table.

"You're weird," he muttered, but followed you nonetheless, extending his large legs on the coffee table with yours.

"Why?" you frowned.

"You don't seem like the person who would tolerate feet on a table," he laughed. "But you always prove me wrong in something."

You felt your cheeks grow hotter. "What- why? Why does that make me weird? I just wanted to stretch my legs."

"I'm not saying it's a bad thing," he shrugged. "I mean, your apartment is always super clean and you're a bit haughty about certain things so I just thought-"

"I am not haughty!" you gasped.

"Ah, there we go again," he let out his high pitch giggle.

"Shut up, Joshua. You're not perfect either," you muttered with a pout.

"I know, sweetheart," he laughed harder.

"You-you're cocky," you blurted. "You're... you're..."

Joshua arched his eyebrows, waiting for your best worst descriptor.

But you just sighed: "God, you might be perfect."

He laughed harder. "Are you sure you're not ill? Let's take you to the doctor," he joked.

You scoffed. "Ugh, I'll take it back. You're the worst."

"I'm anything but perfect, baby. Far from it, actually. But I appreciate your lukewarm compliment," he said, sliding a hand under the blanket and finding your thigh, to which he gave a gentle squeeze.

With a jolt, you rose from the couch, visibly startling him. "I almost forgot my snacks! D-do you want something to drink?"

You hid yourself in your kitchen and heard his distant reply. "I'll have whatever you're having."

A silent sigh escaped you. You needed to find some kind of rein to your emotions when Joshua was around you.

"Does hot tea and milk sound okay?" you asked.

"Sounds great. Thanks," you heard.

You returned with a tray with two mugs and a plate full of your favorite sweet snacks. Joshua frowned slightly then you set the tray between you and him, setting a clear barrier between you two.

If he noticed you were creating some distance, he didn't say anything. And you silently thanked him for it.

Joshua chose a horror movie. If he did it because he enjoyed horror, he didn't look the part, not one bit. His face wore a frown in disgust throughout the whole thing—and it wasn't only because of gory depictions.

The film was deeply disturbing, to anyone in their right mind, it would seem. But you occasionally giggled at certain moments when Joshua flinched or even jumped on the couch. You never bat an eye, you even found the story a bit flimsy, reliant in shock value and with very evident plot holes.

"That was... something," you muttered as the credits rolled on the screen.

"You are scary," he told you, still looking deeply startled.

You let out a laugh. "Why?"

"You laughed when the lady found out that her daughter was dead!" he pointed with an obvious tone.

"What, it was funny," you shrugged. "I dunno, the face she made was funny. Thought it was a weird cry face."

His mouth parted, frown deepening. "That's psycho talk," he shook his head.

"Chill, it's just a movie," you huffed.

"You pick next time," he rolled his eyes. "But let's not watch horror in a while. I've had my fill."

You laughed. "You want me to hold you?" you teased.

"Yeah, that would be nice. Please and thank you," he mumbled in a low tone.

You realized he seemed serious for a moment. "Wait, you're not joking?"

"Yeah, I am," he laughed. "Unless you want to, though," he nodded at you with a cheeky smile that could only mean that he was now teasing you.

"I'm fine, thanks," you shook your head. "I don't find cultish things scary."

"What do you find scary, then?" he inquired, he leaned his head back on the sofa and turned to see you.

You were eating on your snacks. You were not hungry, just felt the need to keep your hands and mouth busy.

"I... don't know," you replied after a long minute.

"Interesting," he muttered.

"What is?"

"You are," he frowned slightly.

"Were you expecting me to curl up in a ball and ask you to hold me?" you taunted.

"Kind of? Yeah," he said, his eyebrows arched a bit.

"Well, maybe we can keep searching for the one horror movie that makes me want to do that," you suggested with a playful smile on your face.

He narrowed his eyes. "Oh, you might be a bit crazy," he joked. "Lucky for you, I'm a bit crazy too."

"Oh, yeah? And why does that make me the lucky one?"

"Because I might say yes," he muttered with a smirk.

"Deal it is, then," you lifted your chin almost proudly and tended your hand to him.

He shook it contentedly. "Deal. But not tonight, though. Maybe in a month—or two."

Your chest tightened at the sound of that. Time with him, making plans, made your heart flutter in your chest.

"Sure, whenever you're ready, baby boy," you replied with a grin.

He closed his eyes slowly. "God, why did I do to deserve this," he muttered with a downturned smile.

You rolled your eyes, then threw the blanket off your legs. "Bathroom break," you announced for the nth time, since during the movie you had a few. "I'll be back."

When you finally returned, Joshua was fast asleep on your couch, breathing deeply with his arms crossed on his chest.

The sight of it was warm, almost too cute to even process. You felt the urge to grab his cheeks and pinch them or squeeze the air out of his lungs.

Maybe you are crazy.

You picked up the tray from the couch, the barrier that kept his hands away from you and placed it on the kitchen counter, deciding to clean up the following morning.

Deciding on what to do with the large man asleep on your couch, you sat quietly beside him. Twiddling with your fingers. Should you wake him and tell him to go home? Should you suggest that he stay the night? He lived right next door, he could just walk to his bed in less than a minute.

But you wanted him to stay with you.

Then suddenly, he jerked awake with a loud grunt, throwing his hands at you like big claws. "Bwaaah!"

You let out a screech in sheer terror at having him give you the scare of your life. "Goddamnit, Joshua!" you slapped him on his shoulder repeatedly.

He laughed himself silly. "Got you," he muttered with teary eyes, not even trying to dodge or cover himself from your attacks.

"Yeah, yeah," you stuck out your tongue at him, making him laugh harder again.

"You're too cute," he said, wiping a tear from his eye.

"Screw you," you pouted.

He rolled his eyes. "Oof, don't go around saying that. You potty mouth," he teased with a grin still plastered on his stupidly beautiful face.

You scoffed, but fell short of witty replies to give him.

"How are you feeling?" he asked softly.

It took you two seconds to understand what he was referring to.

"Oh, I'm okay. Well, not okay but I just don't feel like dying yet," you muttered with an offhanded air.

He pouted cutely. "I'm going to pretend I know what that means."

Joshua was a few inches away from you, just at hand's reach, but you didn't dare touch him. Even if you were dying to.

You laughed. "I'm fine, Joshua. I can deal with the pain just fine."

"Oh, okay," he shrugged slightly. "I was about to offer a back rub, but given that you're okay..."

"I'd like that," you nodded, feeling your cheeks grow hotter. "I'd like that very much, please."

Joshua grinned. "Lie down, princess," he instructed, patting on his thigh once to indicate the place where he wanted you to lie your head.

You did so, lying on your tummy, head resting on his thigh and stretching your legs on the sofa. His large hands started massaging softly on your lower back, over your comfy clothes.

"Oh, oh? That feels good," you exclaimed, feeling bewildered. "You're really good at this."

"Why do you sound surprised?" he asked and you darted a look at his face, he flashed you a grin as he caught your eye.

"I-I'm not—well a little," you muttered as his hand pressed softly on your lower back alleviating the stress from the cramping you've had all day.

You scrunched up your face when he got to a region that activated your nerves, it didn't exactly hurt, but it made you clench your muscles in response.

"Does that hurt, bunny?" he muttered.

"It feels weird," you replied. "Keep going."

You heard a soft chuckle. "Do you like this?"

He used both hands to rub your lower back, fingers digging at the sides of your hips, applying just the right amount of pressure to your skin to make you groan in satisfaction.

"Yeah. Feels so good," you muttered, closing your eyes.

You could feel yourself letting loose, so much that you weren't aware when you fell asleep on his lap. What woke you up with a start was feeling your drool dripping from your parted lips and onto his lap.

The back rubs had stopped, in fact everything had stilled and when you darted a look up, you found Joshua asleep, still in the same sitting position he was when he was giving you back rubs.

It was 2 AM, you suspected that you had fallen asleep around 11 PM. So Joshua didn't dare move under the risk of waking you up.

He slowly stirred after noticing that you had moved from his lap.

"Hi there," he whispered groggily with the ghost of a smile.

"Let's go to bed," you muttered, not caring that you could simply tell him to go home.

You got up from your couch and dragged him along, silently thanking him for not protesting against your wishes.

He took off his large t-shirt as you threw the bed covers and climbed your bed before he did.

"What?" you asked when you saw him standing by the foot of the bed, his bare torso exposed to your view.

"Do you have an issue if I sleep in my briefs only?" he asked, genuinely curious.

You laughed. "Please. We've slept naked before," you muttered, but he didn't budge. "Yeah, 'm okay with it."

He took his sweatpants off and climbed to your bed, lying next to you.

You instinctively scooted closer to him and he smiled, sliding an arm under your body to drag your body so that now his chest was pressed to your back, his arms circling you so he was practically hugging you from behind.

"Are you feeling better?" he muttered, his nose slightly bumping the back of your ear.

"Yeah. Thank you Shua," you replied, snuggling in his embrace.

"Here to help," he whispered before pressing his lips on your hair.

The rest of the week went smoothly.

Joshua had taken a liking to texting you when you least expected him to. Sometimes, he'd ask random questions, just to taunt you and make you blush. As if he knew the effect he had on you even without interacting with him in person.

[18:23 PM] joshua: are you free tonight princess? [18:23 PM] joshua: wait don't tell me [18:23 PM] joshua: you're working

You had been keeping him at bay all week by telling him you have to outline book two of your trilogy. Which was true, you unburied some old drafts, but decided that given the fact that book one underwent a lot of changes, book two would have to adopt those changes too.

But the reason why you made yourself busy was to keep yourself away from him. You were too nervous to face him again after that Tuesday night—in which you purely hung out together, no sex.

You let out a sigh.

[18:24 PM] you: I'm free tonight  [18:24 PM] you: Why?

It was now Saturday. You hadn't expected to see Joshua that night, since he usually had something planned during the weekend.

That being said, you totally weren't expecting a call from him.

"Yes?"

"God, you might be an old lady. Who answers the phone by saying 'yes'?" you heard him laugh.

"I'm hanging up," you cooed, trying to hide your smile.

God, how can he get you this flustered already?

"Wait, wait," you heard a giggle. "What are you wearing right now?"

"Really? Really, Joshua?" you gasped.

"No, wait I mean—don't hang up. I'm picking you up in an hour. We're going out," he told you, and you could tell that he was walking hurriedly, his breath hitching up as the buzz from the street filtered through the phone.

Your stomach dropped. "What, where? Jesus, give me some warning next time," you stood up from your desk and went to your bedroom.

"I am giving you a warning, right now. We have a gig tonight and it's a big thing for me. I want you to be there," he spoke in a lower tone, as if not wanting anyone else to hear.

"Well, I'm in my pyjamas. Hope that's fine with you," you joked. You were in fact not wearing pyjamas, but comfy clothes.

"The bunny pjs?" he inquired in a lower tone, but you could tell that he was smiling. "Oh no, sweetheart. I love to see you in that but I'm afraid that's not going to do."

"Well that's what you're getting," you smiled despite the blood rushing to your cheeks.

"Come on, baby. Wear something nice for me?" he purred into your ear. 

You sighed in pure delight and felt lucky that he wasn't there to see that you were aroused already.

"What do you want me to wear?" you almost mewled, not caring about how lewd you sounded.

"Whatever you want, princess. You look good in anything," he muttered.

"I'll wear something cute," you responded, your voice high and almost sweet for him. "And I'll wear something underneath for you only, if you want."

"Fuck, I'm getting hard already," you heard him sigh.

Your eyes widened. "Really?" your voice rose an octave higher. "Why?" you asked innocently.

"Just thinking about you gets me hard," he groaned, but you could tell he was smiling by the sound of his voice.

"Joshua! You're in public! Don't say those things aloud," you chastised him, but couldn't ignore that hearing that made you instantly wet and your core flutter in excitement at his words.

"I just got to my car, princess. Calm down," he laughed faintly. "No one can hear me here. Or see."

"Well, in that case, I'm really, really wet for you right now," you muttered with a sigh as you sat on your bed and slowly lied down.

"Fuck, baby. I love hearing you say that," he purred in a raw tone.

"Yeah? What else do you love hearing me say?" you dared ask.

Maybe your newfound confidence was due to the fact that he wasn't present in your bedroom right now. Your heart was thumping hard against your chest, and your face felt hot at the daring words that were escaping your mouth.

But you didn't care, all your focus was on the voice in your ear.

"I love the way you say my name," he confessed almost sheepishly, as if he was almost admitting that to himself.

"Shua?" you asked, playing dumb. 

"No, no. That's not my name, baby," he muttered in a tone of false reprimand.

"Joshua," you smiled.

"Mmm yeah. I love hearing you say my name. Love it when that's all you can say while I fuck you silly," he admitted, his voice dangerously low.

"Mmm, yeah?" you echoed as your free hand sneaked beneath the band of your sweatpants, burying itself beneath your soaked panties.

You let out a mewling sound when your fingers found your already pooling core.

"Are you touching yourself, princess?" he asked after he heard you sigh in pleasure.

"Yeah," you admitted. Your wet fingertips had already started rubbing circles around your swelling clit. "Wanna come and see for yourself?"

"Fuuuck," you heard him sigh heavily. "I'm a bit far away right now. But I'd love to be there, princess."

"Can y-you talk to me?" you asked with a tiny voice then bit your lip to avoid moaning louder, feeling your legs starting to tense up.

"Are you touching yourself with your fingers?" he asked and you said yes. "God. I'd love to see that one day."

"Yeah? Why?" you asked with a frown.

"I think it's really fucking hot. I want to see you play with your toys until you're spent," he sighed and you imagined him smiling. "I want to hear you say my name while you do it, too."

"You think that I think of you when I touch myself?" you dared ask again as your fingers gently swirled around your sensitive bud.

"You don't?" he bit back.

"Yeah, I do," you admitted despite yourself. "How did you know?"

"Just a small hunch," he sighed, is he smiling?

"I always think of you when I come. I imagine it's you that's making me come," you blurted.

"I'm right next door," he groaned. "You know you can just tell me and I'll be there."

"But what if it's super late?" you pried.

"I don't care,"  he confessed with a low groan.

"Are you touching yourself too?" you asked with a high pitch whine.

"I can't. Not unless I want to be charged for public indecency," he muttered and you could tell he was smiling.

"Are y-you hard?" you asked as your fingers pinched your swollen and slick covered clit.

"Yeah, baby. I am," he sighed. "You've been ignoring me a little this week," he laughed.

Your heart clenched and a moan escaped your lips as your fingers toyed with your clit. "Y-you're not seeing other people, then?"

"You're asking me right now if I'm fucking other girls?" he muttered with a groan that didn't denote his arousal anymore. "Why would I want to do that?"

"I dunno, I figured-"

"You're the only one I'm fucking. I haven't been with anyone else since you," he muttered reproachfully. "We've talked about this before—does this get you off, baby? Do you like to hear that you're the only girl I want?"

"Yeah," you admitted, shutting your eyes close as your body responded with a wave of heat at the sound of his words, you groaned and twitched in your bed a little.

"Is my pretty girl possessive? Is that it?" he muttered again, and in your inner eye you saw him grinning like an idiot.

"Yes, I am," you gasped as your fingers pressed on your clit and massaged it in the only way you knew would get you closer to your sweet release.

"Oh, you greedy, greedy little thing," he tutted. "Are you close, baby? By the way you're breathing I can only assume that-"

"Yes, 'm close, Joshua," you whimpered, your fingers working faster on your clit.

"I wish I could see that right now," he replied. "You don't know how much I've needed you this week."

"Fuck," your legs twitched and a moan coiled in your throat.

"I'd have you every day of the week if you let me, baby," he let out a stressed sigh. "Don't think I would rather have someone else before you."

"Joshua-," you muttered in a broken moan, trying to bite your lip as you came on your fingers, gasping and whining as the wave of pure bliss washed over you, making your jaw go slack and let out his name in low whimpers.

"I know, baby," he muttered as he heard your moans: "I know."

Your body went limp after a long minute and you slowly came back to your senses.

"God, that was embarrassing," you sighed to yourself, moving your hand out of your pants.

He giggled. "Why?"

"I—never mind," you rolled your eyes. "See you in a bit?"

"See you in a bit, bunny," was the last thing he said before you hung up.

The cold shower you had afterwards served two purposes: a cold slap back to reality and a reflection on your crazy toxic behavior.

Joshua was not your boyfriend. So what if he were fucking other people? Even if he were, you didn't have a say in it. You were just fuckbuddies.

You decided to wear something you thought never would, something you bought on a whim. A little black dress that hugged your body in a flattering way and accentuated your beautiful body, it showed some cleavage, but you felt confident enough to wear it now.

You waited in your living room for Joshua, tapping your fingers impatiently and checking your phone every now and then until you heard him knock, and you ran to get your door.

Joshua pushed through the door, grabbing you instantly by the waist and pushing you to the nearest surface where he could sit you down. The table felt cold against your ass when he set you down harshly, making the skirt of your dress fly up as he slotted himself between your legs.

"I'd take you right here on this table if we didn't have to be somewhere else right now," he said in a low tone, grabbing your chin with his fingers.

"Please do," you urged as his lips locked on yours chastely. "Fuck me, please Joshua, please."

"I think it's your turn to wait now," he muttered with a grin.

"But I need it, please," you whined, wrapping your legs around him.

"Touching yourself an hour ago wasn't enough, baby?" he lifted your chin to angle your head for him to press his lips to your own.

"No. You know it wasn't," you mewled. "I want you to fuck me. Right now," you moaned with a sigh.

Your fingers hooked on the hem of his black jeans and pulled him toward you, sliding his zipper down and undoing the button in one move.

"Fuck baby," he muttered in awe at your wild behaviour as your hand slid beneath his jeans to find him already hard beneath his underwear.

"I need you," you whined, ignoring the awe-struck look on his face.

He grabbed both your wrists and pulled them out of his pants, firmly clasping them together, his hand was large enough to secure them together in his fist as the other hand grabbed you by the jaw gently.

"You have some nerve after ignoring me all week," he muttered darkly. "Now you'll have to wait baby until I say so. Can you do that, sweetheart?"

You looked at his lust-lidded eyes bore into you and his smile slowly appeared on his face as you nodded.

"I can wait," you replied with an innocent tone.

"That's my girl," he cooed and sighed into your lips as he captured them with his own, giving you a heated kiss.

You broke the kiss abruptly and brought up a finger to caress his lower lip that was covered now with your saliva.

"You can fuck me raw now, Joshua," you whispered with a soft smile, almost kicking your feet in the air as you still sat on your table.

The audacity that possessed you to say that was totally new to you, it showed up in your crazy outbursts of assertiveness every time you were near him. Maybe you felt confident enough to be like that with him.

He shuddered slightly, but it was enough for you to see. "We're never getting there if you keep going, princess," he pressed his forehead against yours.

"So you're going to?" you asked, your voice dropped to a whisper.

"If that's what you want, baby," he muttered.

He was already breathing hard, his hands had dropped on your bare thighs, where he had started to knead on your skin anxiously.

"I want to," you replied instantly. "I need you to."

"You're killing me right now," he laughed softly before fixing his pants. "We need to go now, or we'll be regrettably late."

"Fine," you sighed. "Let's go."

He grabbed your head with his hands before crashing his lips with yours briefly but heatedly.

"Let's go," he muttered.

The ride there was longer than you expected. Joshua told you beforehand that his bandmates were already at the location where the event was going to be held.

And as he drove there, he started to get more and more jittery: anxiously licking his lips and tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.

"Are you okay, Shua?" you asked. "You're quiet."

He sent a look your way, but focused on the road ahead. "I'm okay. Just a bit nervous."

You gave him a reassuring smile, although he didn't get the chance to see it. "It's going to be fine. You'll see," you tried to comfort him by placing a hand flatly on his thigh.

He gently grabbed your hand and took it to his lips, pressing them on your knuckles. "Thank you, bunny. That's why I'm bringing you with me tonight."

Your heart fluttered a little. "Yeah? Why is that?"

"You give me good luck," he smirked.

You snorted, trying to play it cool. "You're so corny," you muttered.

He flashed you a downturned smile, briefly looking your way. "Shut up, I'm trying to flirt with you."

"Why? You're driving, there's not much we can do," you laughed, but then your laugh fainted. "Unless you want me to do something for you."

He blinked slowly as he let out a soft laugh. "Are you suggesting to blow me, baby?" he asked incredulously, glancing your way.

You shrugged. "Mmm, yeah. I thought that's where this conversation was headed."

"God, you are terrible at flirting," he said with a low chuckle, but you couldn't ignore how he leaned his head back and shifted on the seat a bit.

"Yeah, shocking," you smiled.

Joshua frowned, but didn't press any further. "I'd accept your proposition," he smiled slightly. "But we're arriving in about two minutes."

"I feel like there's a joke to be made here," you muttered with a smile.

His jaw dropped slightly. "Oh, no. Don't," he laughed.

"I just need one minute," you burst out laughing by the end of the joke.

He rolled his eyes briefly, but his smile was the biggest you've seen. "You have the humor of a child," he said while shaking his head.

You collected yourself, feigning to brush a tear from the corner of your eye.

"Are you done?" he asked, looking torn between amused and disappointed by your bad joke.

"Come on, laugh a little," you pushed his shoulder slightly.

Your joke wasn't even remotely funny, you knew that, but Joshua was still smiling when he parked in a large parking lot There were a lot of cars around and people gathering and walking in groups towards the entrance of a park.

"Where are we?" you asked as you unclasped your seatbelt.

Joshua appeared to be in a hurry, probably reverting back to his state of anxiousness after being distracted successfully by you. "Come on, bunny."

He jumped out of his large jeep and went around it to get your door.

"Oh, what a gentleman. Thanks," you smiled as he offered you a hand to climb down.

"Here," he muttered as his hands clasped on what appeared to be an access pass, which he put around your neck.

"Oh? Thank you, Joshua," you grabbed the tag to read that it was an all access pass.

"Don't mention it," you looked up to see a light smile on his face. "Follow me."

He led you to the side entrance which was fenced off, a sign at the entrance reading "AUTHORIZED ONLY" and you practically followed him through the maze of sound and lighting equipment carefully arranged on the floor.

There was a lot to be on the lookout for as you tried to keep up with him. There were rows of cables taped or secured to the ground that you almost tripped over.

Joshua seemed to notice your struggle and reached out to grab your hand firmly. "Careful, princess," he showed you a downturned smile, jittery eyes glancing down to his large hand grabbing yours. "Is this okay?"

You felt your heartbeat on your throat as you could only muster up a nod. "Yeah," you breathed, holding onto his hand.

The place he was walking through and to which he was practically dragging you with him was a large tent with long tables, people gathered around, chatting and drinking.

The smell of weed and tobacco permeated the air, laughter and the hum of the crowd with that of the music in the distance filled your ears.

"There you are, Shuji—oh, I see why you're late," Jihoon politely nodded your way and waved.

"Hi," you waved back shyly.

Joshua released your hand gently, smoothly using it to fix his dark hair with a labored sigh. "I thought I was on time," he frowned. "Isn't our go in an hour?"

"Yes, but we were asked for our instruments for soundcheck half an hour ago," the drummer shook his head nervously.

"And?" Joshua smiled playfully. "Did you need me to do that?"

"No, I don't need you, I'm just—forget it. In thirty minutes we go backstage for them to mic us up," he informed, just as jittery as you saw Joshua some minutes ago.

"Got it. Thanks Jihoon," he nodded and then turned to you. "You get drinks and food with your pass. I have to stay here, but you're free if you want to explore the festival," he tugged at the access pass hanging on your neck.

"Right, okay," you pressed your lips into a smile.

"We can meet back here once our gig is over," he offered. "Or I can join you where you are."

You looked up at his doe eyes. "You're going to do great, Joshua," you smiled reassuringly.

God, you wanted to kiss him so bad. In front of everyone, you didn't care who saw. But you also felt pathetic, anxiously eyeing his plump lips then back at his curious eyes.

He read you well. With a soft smile, his hand slid in the nape of your neck to hold you in place as he dipped his head to kiss you sweetly, one peck, then another. A sigh falling on your parted lips as he tenderly slid his lips in between your own.

"I'll be in the crowd," you promised with the faintest voice.

"I'll look for you," he smiled slightly at you, meeting your gaze with such fondness that you almost forgot where you were.

"I better be there then," you smirked at him, trying to contain your eagerness.

"Look at you being flirty with me," his smile grew and you almost died inside when his eyes turned into two crescent moons from how happy he looked.

"I–that wasn't flirting," you stuttered. "I'd better get going so you can get ready," you pulled away awkwardly.

Your heart sank as the smile on his face slowly faded.

Joshua looked at you the way he always did when he figured you out, but just nodded with his head, if he had anything else to say, he kept it to himself.

"See you in a bit?" he asked with a playful smile.

"See you in a bit, Shua," you smiled back and turned around and followed your way back through the crowds of artists and crew men and women and into the actual music festival.

The sun had already dipped, the chill of the air in the beautiful park surrounded by tall trees seemed to be setting in despite the huge crowds of people amassing around the stages, those which were three in total.

In your little exploration around the merch and food stalls, you found out that Midnight Haze were presenting on the main stage, two bands before the headliners. So that's why Joshua looked reasonably anxious: this was hugely important for a local band such as his.

You thought that this could prove an opportunity for them to be scouted for plenty more gigs. And you hoped that would be the case. You honestly wished for his band to have more recognition, they deserved it.

You explored all the food stalls, not feeling really hungry but yet indulging in what appealed to you the most. Everything was free for you, having an all access pass circling your neck, but you didn't feel the need to overuse it.

Except for strawberry mojitos, you were sipping on the third one by the time you circled back toward the big stage, showing your pass to security and they pointed you to the VIP section, directly in front of the stage where Joshua's mic stand stood.

Behind the mic stand the stage crew rolled a platform with Jihoon's bright red drum set, surrounded by a number of large cymbals. The crew expertly made a brief soundcheck and left. Your stomach tightened in excitement for the members of Midnight Haze, not just Joshua.

It seemed they had a plan, Jihoon stepped on the stage first, walking to the platform the crew had set with his large drum set. He sat on the stool and shifted a bit, finding his preferred way of sitting.

You spotted Vernon's bass guitar carefully placed on a guitar stand. It was white and had stickers all over it, some of them had washed over around the pickup area. When he picked it up and threw the red strap around his shoulder he also seemed to shift and get ready.

The crowd pushed you softly around as the people around you moved to get closer to the fences. Even if you stood in the VIP section, it was completely packed, the murmur of the crowd rose, some people whistled loudly impatiently.

When Joshua stepped under the stage lights, the crowd went completely insane. The large screens framing the stage showed the full stage, now complete with the lead singer as he grabbed a white guitar, lifting the strap to place it on one of his shoulders.

Joshua turned around and you saw him nodding his head at Jihoon, who returned the gesture at him to then raise his arms in the air to clash his drumsticks three times before starting off with a loud bang.

The booming sound of the towers of speakers filled your body, vibrating in your insides and making your bones feel the energy that instantly ignited the crowd, including you.

Midnight Haze started their set with one of their songs you liked the most. And you were pleased to see that Joshua smiled as he sang to the lyrics of the song.

The electrifying presence of the lead singer was so mind boggling to you, for a second it didn't seem like you were seeing your next door neighbor singing and playing his guitar as he danced side to side, banging his head slightly to the beat.

People screamed and applauded as the first song came to its end and Joshua bowed his head politely. Then he paused to remove one of his in-ear pieces to listen to the cheering of the crowd properly. He approached the stand, wrapping one hand around the mic.

"How's it going Rock Fest?" his voice boomed with excitement, a small chuckle came out of his plump lips when the crowd responded with wordless screams.

"We're Midnight Haze and we're really excited to be here," Joshua spoke into the mic, his starry eyes lost in the sea of faces, marveling at the sight of how extensive the crowd was.

"I want to see you all singing and dancing. Come on!" he screamed energetically just as the music swept in again.  

You cheerily sung along all of the songs in their set list, swaying your body mindlessly from side to side, looking over at the stage where Joshua also sang and played his guitar.

He looked devastatingly beautiful. His big eyes closed briefly, his brow furrowing slightly in focus, the vein in his neck popping up as he sang his lungs out.

The stage lights bathed his face with red and pink lights as the music wrapped him in a moment for his guitar solo, he looked hypnotic to you, almost heavenly.

You were so attracted to him you felt like a moth flying straight into the flame. You simply couldn't contain your urge to grab your phone and snap a photo of the moment.

God, you're screwed for life, you realized as you watched him.

Their setlist was about to come to a wrap after another one of your favorite songs ended on a strenuous note and Joshua's eyes went through the sea of faces. The stage lights danced around and pointed at the crowd at the same time his eyes zeroed on you, his brow relaxed and he smiled slightly.

"We've come to our last song," he spoke into the mic, his smile broadening when the crowd responded in wordless discontent. "We thank you for being here and for being such an amazing crowd," he paused, seemingly enjoying the roar of the sea of people in front of him. "We were Midnight Haze. Thank you, Rock Fest!!"

They started playing what their last song was, which was a song that you didn't know yet and apparently was a new song, since no one around you seemed to sing along with Joshua, who kept his big smile throughout as he sang and danced around the stage with his guitar.

He looked at you once as he strolled with his guitar directly in front of you. The people standing behind you screamed in your ears and you smiled at the sheer commotion he caused just by stopping by.

You twiddled your fingers at him, which he caught immediately and nodded his head at you, smiling tiredly with his tongue dangling between his chapped lips.

"He's so fucking hot oh my god," someone said with a raw voice from screaming, you turned and you saw two girls holding each other in excitement from the brief exchange.

It was amusing to think that you weren't the only one subdued by the beauty of the lead singer. It was also somewhat amusing that you were exhilarated at the fact that he singled you out from the crowd, but obviously no one around you knew that.

Joshua returned to the mic to sing the last verse, to then thank the other two members of Midnight Haze and say goodbye, promptly leaving the stage as the crowd screamed and applauded for them.

You quickly made your way out of the VIP section and found the nearest entrance back to the tent where you last saw Joshua. There were still some people hanging out in the tent, though admittedly not as many stuck around, possibly enjoying the festival and the food.

When Joshua came back, he looked a mixture of euphoric, tired and happy. As he spotted you, he opened his arms in excitement and you threw yourself in his embrace, lifting you in the air as your lips met briefly in an affectionate kiss.

"You were amazing," you told him, looking at his face briefly before he returned you to the ground.

Then you slowly came to your senses and stepped back from him slightly.

"You think so?" he asked, unaware of your sudden change in behavior. "Cause that felt amazing! That was the largest crowd we've ever performed for."

Your heart swelled at seeing him so excited, he grabbed you by the shoulders and shook you and you laughed at the crazed energy he still had from the stage.

"Come with me," he grabbed you by your hand as he led you out of the tent and to an even larger tent that was more crowded than the one you just left and right behind the stage.

It looked somewhat like a private party, the people in there, the majority of them, looked already intoxicated. The atmosphere was one of fun and a bit of mischief, however, you couldn't help but think that the energy of the packed room wasn't exactly inviting. Despite being hand in hand with the lead singer of one of the bands that had just come off the stage.

Your innate shy behavior kicked in, and you partially hid yourself behind Joshua, lowering your gaze as people not only looked at him, but also noticed you.

Joshua finally found the rest of his bandmates, who were already drinking a beer and talking about the very fresh experience. Jihoon, naturally, was retelling everything that just happened to a couple of faces you've never met before.

"Ah, there you are, Josh," one of them said, which was a woman. "We were wondering about you."

"Sorry, I had to go collect her," he nodded towards you. He then introduced you to the couple of strangers by name. "They're Chaewon and Taewon, from Wilted Willows."

"Hi," you waved at them, pressing your lips into a shy smile. You briefly saw the last bits of their performance, which was very unlike Midnight Haze's.

Chaewon's dark eyes scanned you up and down, making the hairs on the back of your neck prickle.

"Is she your new girlfriend?" she asked bluntly, her eyes moving from your face to Joshua's face.

"Oof, this is going to get weird," Jihoon muttered beside you and sipped from his can of coke zero.

Joshua released your hand. "No," he responded flatly, clearly setting a boundary between him and Chaewon. Then you felt his arm sliding on your shoulders, pulling your body into a tight side hug. "Not yet, at least."

Your stomach dropped, your gaze met his and he immediately winked an eye at you, a thing for your eyes to see only.

"Mmph," the girl flipped her luscious blue hair aside. "When you get bored of that, you know where to find me."

It happened fast: Chaewon took a step forward, her lithe fingers reached out to Joshua's chin, and he instantly pulled back with a flinch, his arm pulling you closer to him as an act of instinctive protectiveness.

Looking deeply startled and just about when he seemed like he was going to tell her off, she left and her bandmate had no choice but to leave with her after the deeply alarming exchange.

Joshua released a labored sigh. "Seriously, Jihoon?" he dropped the arm from your shoulders.

"What, they came to me," he shrugged. "I didn't know she was going to pull all that."

"Who is she... is she your ex?" you asked, trying to appear fine and controlled.

"No. God, no," Joshua shook his head furiously. "She's just really self-absorbed."

"She is also obsessed with Shua. Crazy stalker level of obsession," Jihoon explained briefly.

"Ah," you frowned.

The only reason why you thought she might've been Joshua's ex was because of how comfortable she was to attempt to put her hands on him.

Even if she were his ex, she overstepped by trying to touch him like that.

"Fucking hell," Jihoon muttered to himself, spotting something in between the groups of people. "Vernon's getting fucked up again."

Jihoon left abruptly, towards the direction of the bassist. Leaving you and Joshua alone. 

"I'm so sorry about that," Joshua's face had contorted into a frown. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," you smiled calmly despite yourself, trying to not let your anger show. "That was unsettling."

"Yeah, I agree. Really disturbing," he sighed again, running a hand through his dark hair.

"I'm sorry you have to deal with that, Joshua," you offered with a downturned smile.

"Don't be," he shook his head. "I'm more worried about you, she undermined you and I couldn't say anything about it."

"But I'm unaffected," you countered. "Her problem is not with me, that much is evident."

He flashed you a relaxed smile. "Sorry about the girlfriend stuff, I panicked."

A sudden painful feeling made you almost flinch. "Don't worry, Shua. I would've panicked a little too."

But you were thankful that he was being honest. He still looked agitated from the unfortunate exchange, but his shoulders went slack when you reached out to grab his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Hey, don't let that ruin your night," you told him encouragingly.

"Yeah, no, I'm fine," he frowned.

"You want me to fuck her up?" you asked bluntly.

His doe eyes widened. "What?!" then he understood you were joking and laughed hard, almost bending over with laughter. "Where did that come from?"

You broke your act and smiled at him. "I wanted to make you laugh. It worked," you shrugged.

"You fighting... now that would be fun to see," he admitted with a smile. "Fun and weird. Can't imagine you doing that."

"Well, don't try me," you quipped.

He chuckled again, brushing a tear from his eye.

A bunch of people stopped by to say hi to him and you stood idly by, watching Joshua expertly navigate through small talks, compliments and questions. And though you mostly didn't get attention within these exchanges, you were happy to be there, experiencing him.

"You are famous," you pointed, impressed by the amount of people that came to say hello and even take pictures with him.

"I'm not famous, bunny. This is kind of a network, everyone here knows everyone," he explained, but the tip of his ears were red.

"Right," you scoffed. "I don't see a lot of people asking others for their photo."

He rolled his eyes. "Shut up, it makes me feel weird."

"Are you blushing?" you gasped dramatically. "The Joshua Hong is blushing?!"

He arched his pierced eyebrow at you. "Don't make fun of me," he muttered shyly but you just couldn't help but laugh at how cute he looked when flustered. 

"Aw, baby boy is shy?" you pouted at him.

He blinked slowly, biting his lower lip to attempt and stop his smile. "This is the last time I bring you to something like this."

You simply continued. "Can I get your photo, Shua? Joshie, can I get your autograph?" you laughed as his smile grew, rolling his eyes at you again.

Joshua nodded at you once, letting out a breath through a smirk. "Having fun?"

A shiver ran down your spine. "A bit, if I'm honest," you admitted, but were actually more excited about his sudden change in attitude.

"Alright, princess. Let's have fun," he muttered, clasping his hand around yours to drag you once again through the crowd of people and outside the tent.

"Joshua!" you squealed, your smile had since vanished from your face as you looked around to see that he was dragging you towards a line of parked bus trailers.

You assumed that there was no one around since Joshua confidently shoved your back against the side of a bus trailer, making you gasp at the sheer force he used with you.

His eyes widened in disbelief when you smiled at him deviously. "You wanted this," he realized. "Do you enjoy this, baby?"

"I do," you nodded, breathing hard in anticipation already as Joshua closed in on you.

His fingers grazed your chin. "You want me to toss you around, pretty?" he asked, the corner of his mouth twitching slightly.

A shudder ran through your body. "Yeah," you sighed. "I want you to do whatever you want to me, Joshua."

Joshua looked at you in pure fascination, he even let out a soft sigh that brushed your face slightly.

"You..." he breathed but stopped, seemingly at a loss of words.

His head dipped and you closed your eyes, blindly grabbing his head with your hands as he kissed you hard on your lips. 

"I want you, Joshua," you whimpered into his hot mouth, the words felt urgent as you uttered them. "Now."

"What if someone sees?" he incited, his voice low and raspy.

"I don't care," you confessed, the statement shaking deep in your bones.

The fleeting confidence in you stirred something in your brain, telling you to act quick.

It was your turn to push him against the bus trailer behind him. He gasped in surprise as his back hit the metal wall, his eyebrow raising a bit.

You clasped your lips with his, earning a low groan from him that reverberated in his chest and against your hands that were sliding down to the belt of his pants.

"What are you doing?" he asked, his hands stopping you.

You faltered instantly. "I-I want to suck you off," your eyes read his face. "Can I?"

His hand released one of yours to cup your chin. "Why?"

You frowned. "Why, what do you mean, why?"

He nodded briefly. "Tell me you're not doing this because you feel bad for what happened earlier in the tent."

"I want to pleasure you," you explained, then you quickly relaxed, understanding the situation. "Don't think I'm doing this for any other reason than just for you."

His eyes scanned your face, his other hand released you to graze your cheek with his knuckles, the features of his face relaxing. "What's our safeword, bunny?"

You blinked slowly, showing him a smile before giving him your safeword.

"Fuck," he let out a puffy breath as your fingers resumed undoing his belt, to then get the button of his black jeans.

"You're so hard already," you cooed softly, and eyed him as your hand felt him over his underwear.

Joshua was biting his lower lip, looking strained already. "All for you, sweetheart."

You smiled at him sweetly. "Such a sweet talker," you tilted your head as you rubbed his hard cock through his underwear.

You stuck your hand through the slit of his boxers, grabbing his hard cock firmly and effectively pulling it free from the stretchy and wet fabric of his underwear. 

"You're being so naughty, princess," he chuckled at you faintly but he faltered completely as you lowered yourself to your knees before him.

The ground was hard against the soft skin of your knees, the thin layer of your stockings was not enough to protect them. But you knew you wanted to see the bruises by the following morning.

"Fuck," he muttered again, shuddering visibly when you kissed the tip of his cock, to then press your tongue on the slit to lick his precum as you locked eyes with him.

One large hand cupped your cheek, his eyes trained on you as your tongue gave a few strokes to his shaft, feeling the vein that marked in the underside, tracing a long line with your tongue until you wrapped your mouth around his cockhead.

You heard a low guttural groan leave him when you took him deeper in your mouth than you could before, your tongue lapping on the length of him as you moved your head back and forth. 

Darting a look at him, Joshua leaned his head back on the wall behind him, eyes closed and swallowing hard as you bobbed your head back and forth on his throbbing cock, swirling your tongue around his cockhead.

"God. Your mouth feels so, so fucking good, baby," he moaned faintly, his hands grabbing a handful of your hair.

The back of your mouth had started to hurt already from the intrusion each time you tried to take his cock deeper in your mouth. But you didn't care, all focus was in getting more sounds of approval from him. Sounds that were also making you aroused. 

Drool had started to drip down from the corners of your lips and onto your chin, wet sounds coming every time you pulled your head back, hollowing your cheeks to suck hard on his cock just as if it were a lolly.

"Fuck," he exhaled. "You don't know how much I needed you, baby."

A moan coiled in your throat, your walls throbbing desperately at the sound of his words. Your chest swelled proud when you felt his fingers tense up on your hair and you heard him moan faintly, cussing and muttering incoherently about your mouth and how good it felt.

"Fuck, fuck—I think someone's coming," he whispered but didn't make an attempt of stopping you, so you didn't.

Voices echoed in the distance, but you couldn't make out if someone actually saw you and Joshua. There was no actual acknowledgement towards what you were doing, but you felt euphoric all the same.

Being on your knees for him, sucking him off for anyone to see made you moan on his cock. You sneaked a look at Joshua's eyes, that were trained on you while your head bobbed back and forth, committed to the act of pleasuring him.

"Someone just saw you giving me head," his voice sounded raw. "You like this, don't you? Like taking my cock in your mouth for anyone to see."

You moaned a sound of confirmation, making the smile on his face grow just a little. He let out a weak sigh, the tension in his beautiful features showing that he was close.

"I'm close," he sighed and threw his head back a bit. His hand tightened on your hair slightly when you sucked him harder. "Fuck, baby. D'you want me to cum in your pretty mouth?" his thumb brushed your cheekbone gently, as if calling for your attention back to him.

You blinked at him, moaning the same sound again.

"Can I move, princess? You think you're ready for that?" he asked, his face and voice both strained.

You nodded with your head as you pulled your mouth back to suck on his cockhead, blinking an adoring look up at him.

"Tap my thigh if you need me to stop," he grabbed your head firmly and started thrusting his cock on your mouth.

Sloppily at first, almost as if he wanted you to adjust your mouth to his pace as he started to push his cock down your throat faster. You lifted your eyes to see his face deep in focus, probably containing himself to avoid hurting you by accident.

The feeling was so deeply arousing that you were tempted to sneak a hand between your legs and start touching yourself. But you were rendered immobile, not by his hands precisely, but by the sight of him fucking your mouth.

"Fuck, baby—I'm cumming. You're gonna take it all, right baby? Gonna swallow it all?" he groaned, revelling at the sight of you taking his cock, your eyes brimming with tears, your chin dripping with your own drool.

You were gagging loudly on his cock, but managed to get the slightest of nods.

"Yeah, you are," he cooed faintly when he saw the way you responded to his words.

Then he threw his head back, his face contorted in pure pleasure and you almost swore you could come from the sight alone. 

"God, fuck," his voice was a mere whisper as his cockhead bumped on the back of your mouth, his cum spurting down your throat and you instantly swallowed it.

Joshua groaned through clenched teeth as you swallowed the last drops of his cum, he screwed his eyes shut, exhaling elatedly at the same time that his hands gently released your hair.

"That was insane," he muttered slowly, appearing to come to his senses.

Gently, he pulled out of your mouth, a string of saliva falling out of your mouth and landed on your chin. He fixed his pants quickly before grabbing your hands that were previously resting on his thighs.

Joshua helped you stand up and immediately wrapped you in a tight embrace. Bringing a hand up to clean your face from your drool and tears.

"You did so good, bunny," he muttered in your lips after kissing you chastely. "So fucking good."

"'m glad you liked it," you smiled in his lips.

"Let's take you home, princess. I want to make you feel good too," he gave you small pecks on your lips. "Is that okay?"

"Can't you take me here? Right now?" you whined jokingly.

"No, baby," he whispered into your lips. "As much as I'm dying to do that right now, I don't want to risk anyone seeing you."

"But you didn't have an issue with it five minutes ago," you quipped.

"Yeah, but that was different. You were fully clothed and the person who saw us didn't see our faces," he pointed. 

"So the problem is that you don't want anyone to see me naked?" you pulled back to meet his gaze. "In that case I can keep my dress on." 

The conversation had shifted between you, and you could tell that he was no longer trying to keep you aroused—he didn't even look like he just got blown. You didn't know what it was, but it troubled him.

Joshua looked up at the night sky, seemingly looking frustrated for a second as he looked for words to say.

"What if I'm a little possessive too?" he asked, meeting your eyes.

You physically recoiled in his arms in a mixture of excitement and uneasiness. "W-what?" you blurted in disbelief.

"What if I don't want anyone seeing what I have with you?" his eyes searched your face. "Even if you kept your dress on, I don't want anyone seeing how good you are for me."

Your heart dropped, pain sinking into your chest. This was totally not what you expected to hear from him. Even if his possessiveness was entirely revolving around a sexual aspect, you weren't ready to hear it.

"Joshua-," you started.

"I know I said that I'd fuck you anywhere but I just can't give you that right now," he smiled, seemingly ashamed of his words.

"No, it's alright," you frowned. "It's just really confusing hearing you say this."

"What, you don't think I'm capable of feeling a little jealous too?" he asked. "You don't like the idea of me seeing other girls, I don't like the idea of someone seeing you."

Was this something you needed to talk in more depth with him? Totally, yes. Were you going to ask him to do so? No, probably not ever.

"Fair," you muttered, mustering a smile to him before capturing his lips with your own. "Take me home, then."

Joshua took your hand again, making your tummy flutter with nervousness that only intensified when he led you back to the tent.

As you both pushed through Joshua's friends and unknown faces, you swore that everyone looked at you differently; not in a bad or good way precisely, just different. As though everyone knew why you and Joshua disappeared, and judging by the fact that someone saw you, they probably did already.

Joshua kept you close, almost as though wanting to make his point across—he felt possessive of you. And you didn't want to know to which extent he felt like this over you. 

But you knew one thing, whatever it was that made him look this deeply troubled, paired with your unspoken feelings for him was starting to taint your already messy relationship of fuckbuddies.

Joshua drove faster this time around, keeping a hand on the wheel and the other placed flatly on your thigh.

"Did you enjoy the festival?" he asked, his thumb had started to draw invisible circles on your thigh.

"I did," you smiled. "Drank mojitos and ate corn dogs," you told him, looking at his large hand. You resisted the urge to grab it and lace your fingers with his.

"Mojitos?"

"Strawberry mojitos," you added. "I took some photos too, of you, on stage."

"You did? Will you show me?" he eyed you excitedly.

"Of course," you smiled at him.

"So you got a good spot to see me?"

"Yeah I got to see you throughout the whole set," you saw him smile faintly.

"I saw you singing along," he seemed to remember suddenly. "You've been listening to our music."

"Yeah," you admitted. "Almost everyday. Does that make me your groupie?"

He chuckled. "I'm convinced that you don't know what a groupie is, bunny."

"Shuddup," you smiled.

"Hey, but it's not fair—you can listen to my music but I haven't read your book," he frowned.

"I'll lend you the hardcopy of my manuscript," you promised.

"I actually looked for you, do you use a pen name?"

Your heart sank. He took the time to search your books using your real name?

You told him your pseudonym and he repeated each name silently and nodded. 

"Yeah, I might've confused the lady at the local library," he laughed.

"You went to the library looking for my books using my real name," he nodded and you laughed. "You should've asked me first."

"You never answer my texts on time," he reproached. "Well but I wanted it to be a secret, actually."

"Why?" you frowned.

"I wanted to impress you," he shrugged.

"You don't have to, Joshua," you told him sincerely.

"But I want to," he pouted cutely. "And now that I know you've been listening to my music, I feel like I have to catch up with you."

"I like your music. I'm not sure if you're going to like my books," you warned him.

"Let me decide that," he smiled at you.

Joshua parked his car expertly with one hand, his other hand still resting on your thigh. He had stopped rubbing circles through the thin fabric of your stockings, but your skin felt hot at his touch nonetheless.

Your fingers fidgeted nervously with the hem of the skirt of your little black dress as you stepped on the elevator, Joshua stood closely behind you.

"Are you nervous?" he asked in your ear, leaning closer to you.

"A bit," you breathed, turning on your feet to see his face.

"Why?" he slowly smirked. "We've done this before."

You were lucky that no one else was in that elevator, but you still waited until you got to your apartment to continue that conversation.

Joshua gently pushed you against the wall as soon as he closed your apartment door.

"Mm? Why are you nervous, bunny?" he asked in a soft tone.

"I've never been fucked raw," you confessed, fighting the blush that crept immediately on your face.

His eyes searched your face briefly. "We don't have to do that tonight, we can use protection."

"No, don't get me wrong—I want to... do it raw," you breathed, your hands fidgeting with the collar of his meshy black shirt. "I'm just..."

You bit your tongue. You felt excited to try new things with Joshua, and what really got you feeling that way was that you were trying these things with someone you were actually falling in love with.

"What?" he egged you on, his curious eyes still trying to read your face.

You licked your lips anxiously and shook your head, reluctant to continue.

"We can take it slow, if that's what you want," he offered.

"No, do-don't hold back," you stuttered. "I want everything."

"I got you. Don't worry," he muttered before placing two fingers to grab your chin and leaned to kiss you.

You melted into his lips, feeling every nerve in your body respond at his touch when he slid his other hand on your waist, giving it a soft squeeze.

"I almost forgot to tell you," he breathed after pulling back from your lips. "You looked beautiful tonight, baby."

"Did you like my dress?" you darted a look down to your little black dress.

"Thank you for wearing it tonight," he grazed your cheek. "I liked it very much." 

"It's a good thing I didn't wear the bunny pjs then," you smirked though your blushing face.

He laughed faintly. "Yeah, good thing," he echoed dazedly, leaning to kiss you again.

God, if you could only just ask him. Does he feel the same way too? When your mouths join, when you breathe against each other, moaning and gasping at the slightest of touches against each other's skin.

Your fingers started undoing the buttons of his shirt, your hands sneaking between the split of his shirt to feel his hard chest, the defined muscles of his pecs.

Joshua moaned into your lips, his hands sliding from your waist to find your hips. His hot mouth placed open mouthed kisses on your chin, groaning in approval when you tilted your head back for him to kiss on the underside of your jaw.

Your back was pressed against the wall as his hands searched for your thighs and expertly lifted you up from the floor. You let out a squeal in surprise, your arms instantly locking around his shoulders.

A laugh in sheer joy left your lips when he carried you to your room. "We could've walked here."

"Shh, let me do nice things for you," he muttered as he let you back to the floor of your room and you got to the lamp on your nightstand.

He grabbed you by your waist, pulling you to his body as he sat down on your bed, leveling down to see eye to eye with you. His large hand slid on the nape of your neck as his lips found yours, tenderly locking you into a kiss.

Joshua was still wearing his shirt on his shoulders, the split parting as your fingers caressed the defined lines of the muscles on his abdomen, and then he moaned on your mouth when you reached his lats, that being a sensitive area for him.

"How do I get you out of this?" he smiled sheepishly when his fingers searched on your back and then on your sides.

"It's a slip dress," you explained, smiling too.

Your fingers grabbed the shoulder straps, sliding them from your arms and the dress simply fell from your frame, leaving your body with the light pink lingerie set you chose for tonight.

"Do you like it?" you asked sheepishly when he seemed unable to look back at your eyes.

Joshua swallowed hard, tearing his doe eyes from the lacey fabric barely covering your body and found your expectant eyes. "Yeah, baby," he released a breath through a weak smile. "I love it."

Your hands went to grab the clasp of your pretty bra, but he raised a hand from your waist.

"No, not yet," he muttered. "I want to take it off myself. Is that okay?"

"Yeah. More than okay," you sighed, repurposing your hands to remove his meshy black shirt from his shoulders, caressing his beautiful skin in the process.

His large hands busied themselves exploring your bare skin too, what your thigh high stockings didn't cover, caressing your bare waist as he leaned to press wet kisses down your chest, to the swell of your breasts.

"So beautiful," he muttered, as if to himself.

"Joshua," you moaned with a sigh as his hands circled on your back and slid down to cup your ass with a low guttural groan from his part.

"Don't rush this," he muttered against your skin, then glanced up to meet your eyes.

"Okay," you breathed, your skin already prickled and covered in goosebumps.

He smiled, his fingers reaching up to graze your chin. "We have all night, you don't have to rush anything."

"Oh, so you're going to fuck me all night?" you quipped with a grin.

"If that's what you want," he replied with a small shrug.

"I do. But what do you want, Joshua?" you retorted.

His gaze darkened as it met yours, he seemed to struggle with his words for the second time in the night, something that did not go unnoticed by you, but you decided not to make a big deal of it at the time.

Joshua didn't reply to your question verbally, instead he stood from your bed, your eyes following him now that he regained his natural height, now his frame towered over you.

He pushed you to sit on the bed, wordlessly making you understand that the roles were reversed for now and you resumed to undress him. Undoing his belt and button from his black jeans, hooking your fingers to push his jeans down on his legs for him to step out of them, socks included.

It was your turn to swallow hard at the sight of him nearly naked. He was hard already, as you could see the bulge in his underwear, your hand instantly rubbing his hard cock through the stretchy fabric.

"Lie down, princess," he muttered, nodding to the bed.

You scooted back on your bed covers and lied down as Joshua climbed on top of your body.

"Are you okay?" you asked, your voice laced with a bit of concern.

"Yeah," he breathed, pressing a kiss on your lower lip. "Never better."

He grabbed your legs and you wrapped them around his body, pressing down on his hips to join them with yours, earning a soft moan from him.

"Joshua?" you breathed when his lips trailed from your mouth, pressing wet kisses down the crook of your neck.

"Mm?"

"Ca-can I be on top?" you asked.

"Do you want to ride me, baby? Is that what you're asking?" he asked with his sweet voice.

"Let me be on top," you muttered, lowering your legs from his body.

He laughed against your skin. "Okay," he sighed, rolling over so his back was fully against the bed and you followed his body promptly, straddling him.

You wasted no time, leaning your body to press your chest against his, burying your fingers in his black hair before capturing his lips with yours.

His hands caressed your back, the pads of his fingers tracing the line of your column and stopping only to unclasp your pretty bra, his hands removed it completely, you heard when it landed on the floor.

His breath hitched when you pressed your tits against his hard chest, moving your lips to kiss his chin, then under his jaw and  down the crook of his neck, essentially mimicking what he does when he's on top of you.

"Can I mark you?" you asked shyly, darting a look to his face.

A small groan fell from his lips as he nodded with his head. "Yeah," he whispered with a light smile.

You returned the smile as your head dipped on the crook of his neck, his hands kneading on your hips as you landed love bites on the crook of his neck, his throat and finally reaching his toned chest.

Joshua was sensitive. It made you feel so stupid to realize it this far into your countless sexual encounters. He so rarely let you touch him during sex or kiss him that you never knew just how sensitive he actually was.

His hands were going to leave marks on your skin, you were sure of it. Kneading on your ass and hips, fingers digging harshly on your skin as you took your time marking his chest, marveling at the sight of his toned pecs.

"Fuck," he breathed softly, his eyes were closed tightly, so he never saw you smile at his downright restless behaviour. You and him had that in common, at least.

You couldn't ignore how big and hard he felt under you, so you started grinding on him to maybe help him release the growing tension on his cock.

Then you wanted to try something—you ran your tongue on one of his sides, feeling his toned lats, tasting cologne in his skin.

"Mmn—fuck!" his body hardened, his fingers threatening to pierce your skin.

The tip of your tongue traced a circle around one of his nipples to then press your wet lips and repeated the same actions on his other side, earning similar reactions.

A groan bubbled in his chest and suddenly you were being flipped to your back, startled you looked at his dark eyes. Unable to say a word, his mouth was already clashing with yours, kissing you fervently.

"Are you going to tie me up tonight?" you asked shyly.

His pierced eyebrow arched slightly. "Do you think you deserve it, pretty? Have you been bad?"

"Mmm, maybe a little," you admitted.

"Mmm yeah, I remember that you were, baby. Do you like being bratty? Do you like being tied up?" his fingers hooked on the thin fabric of your thong, pulling his body back to slide the thong down your legs, leaving your stockings on.

"Yeah, I do," you breathed, your eyes trained on him as he pressed soft kisses on the softer side of your thighs.

"Then I won't tie you tonight, princess," he smiled deviously to then run the tip of his tongue on the sensitive side of your thigh, dangerously close to your core.

You let out a soft whimper, your body tensed up and your legs instinctively closed a bit, one of your legs bumped with the side of his head.

"Maybe I'll get restraints for your legs too," he quipped, laughing softly. "Would you like that, baby?"

You swallowed hard, closing your eyes when he continued placing loving and soft kisses on your mound. "Mm, I think so," you muttered clumsily.

He used his hands to splay your thighs open for him, dipping his head on your mound to place wet kisses on your soft skin, sighing in the process of kissing your pussy lips, groaning softly with you when he heard you moan and whine.

"Joshua," you called softly when his tongue swiped a line between your folds, humming in response at the taste of your arousal.

One of his hands slotted in your lower tummy, while the other one remained holding your thigh. His face was practically buried in your cunt, slowly licking every inch of it, dipping the tip of his tongue on your entrance to make you cry out and moan his name.

You held onto his hand that was on your tummy when his tongue swirled around your clit a few times. "Oh god," you whimpered

The bed underneath you groaned when you sank your body, completely subdued in pleasure. Your fingers clenching on his fingers, the other had found the soft strands of his black hair, pulling softly when he started flicking your swollen clit with the tip of his tongue.

"F-fuck—Joshua," you breathed, screwing your eyes shut, trying to remain still on your bed but couldn't help but writhe slightly when he switched from flicking your clit to sucking at it lightly.

You propped yourself with your elbows on your bed to see him practically making out with your cunt. The sight of it alone made you almost climax—his dark hair between your fingers, his hands holding you still for him as he lifted his eyes to find yours.

A moan coiled in your throat, your fingers tugged his hair as you felt your orgasm drawing near, and he seemed to know it from the sounds you were making, so he started sucking your swollen bud harder, moving his head up and down slightly.

"Joshua, 'm close," you breathed, your body trembling slightly. "Fuck! Don't stop, please. Joshua!"

You threw your head back, your jaw going slack too as raggedy breaths broke in your chest, twitching and groaning lewdly on your bed. You moaned loudly, your hand pressing on his head as your orgasm continued to wash over you, the waves of pure bliss left tingles on your limbs and face.

You eased your body back on your bed, your chest heaving embarrassingly hard, soft moans spilled from your lips when Joshua's mouth left your throbbing cunt after showering it with tender kisses.

"Feel good?" you heard him ask.

You opened your eyes to find him still between your thighs, smiling fondly at you.

"Amazing," you sighed weakly. "I love how you eat me out so much."

He laughed. "I love eating you out, princess."

"Oh, yeah?" you breathed.

Joshua climbed back on top of you. The dim light from your lamp let you see the pretty features of his face, you reached to wipe your arousal from his chin and he smiled as he pressed his chapped lips with your own.

"Yeah," he answered and you were reminded of how much you liked it when he said that.

He got on his knees to take his sweet time taking your stockings off, his hands caressing your legs in the process, his lust-lidded eyes locking with yours as he did so. 

Then he lied on his side, using his elbow on the bed to support him as his other hand slid between your legs, his pointer finger slid between your pussy lips, playing with your wetness as his eyes searched your face.

Your eyes shifted to the finger disappearing inside your cunt, pumping in and out a few times until you were ready for another finger.

"Joshua," you whimpered pathetically when his two fingers massaged your walls, but really what had you on the verge of insanity was his doe eyes trained on your face.

"Mm?" his eyebrows arched slightly. "What's wrong?"

"I want you so bad," you breathed, your hand cupping his cheek to pull him into a needy kiss, nibbling his lower lip with your teeth when his fingers scissored inside you.

"You think you're ready for me, sweetheart?" he muttered, his voice strained with tension.

You nodded a bit too eagerly.

"No, I don't think you're ready, baby," he replied, introducing a third finger inside you.

"Joshua," you whined, knowing that he liked hearing you beg. "Please. I waited all day. Please take me,"

He smiled, immediately telling on your little game. "Yeah, you waited all day for me princess, after ignoring me all week. Why should I give you what you want?"

"Because you want it too," you replied boldly. "I know you want me as much as I want you."

"Mmm, yeah baby, you're right. I want you but I wait for you," his doe eyes locked with yours. "Can you say you do the same for me, baby? You like having fun by pushing me away, so why shouldn't I have fun too?"

"You're being mean, Shua," you frowned. "I didn't push you away, just–"

"Careful, princess," he warned, the corner of his lips twitching. "I don't like when you lie to me. You know that."

You moaned then he pressed the palm of his hand on your sensitive clit while still pumping three fingers in and out of your wet walls.

When you gave him no response nor explanation, he smiled. "So you were pushing me away. Again, baby?"

You remained quiet and looked away from his darkened gaze.

"Why do you do that?" he pressed, his voice sounding soft, alluring.

You groaned and bit your lip as he continued to massage your walls with his fingers, his palm stimulating your clit slowly toward another orgasm.

"Joshua," you sighed, closing your eyes. "Joshua, I'm cumming."

"No, you're not," he muttered softly, pulling his fingers out of your cunt when your walls had started clenching harder.

You gasped in frustration. "Joshua!" you whined. "I was close."

He let out a breathy chuckle and pressed his lips against your cheek. "I know, baby."

"Then why..? Why did you stop?" you asked.

"You're cumming when I want you to," he replied shortly.

You sighed your frustration, not caring how childish you were being. "You're mean," you pouted.

He laughed softly when your fingers hooked on the band of his underwear and yanked it down, his hard cock slapping his lower abdomen as he lifted his hips for you to tear off the last piece of clothing he wore.  

"And you lied to me, again," he countered as he climbed back on top of your body, pressing loving kisses to your cheeks and chin, each kiss seemed to leave a trail of tingles on your skin.

"I'm s–"

"Sorry?" he muttered, kissing your jaw.

"Joshua, please," you moaned weakly. "I'll be good, just—fuck me. Do whatever you want. Punish me but please, fuck me."

His eyes glinted with awe, and you remembered that he liked it when you begged. "You'll let me do anything I want, sweetheart?"

"Yes," you breathed. "I'm yours."

Joshua cocked his head to the side ever so slightly. "Say that again," he whispered, giving you another soft kiss now on your lips. And another.

"I'm yours, Joshua."

He hummed in satisfaction. "You're mine," he repeated, savoring the statement with his sweet lips.

"Only yours," you echoed dazedly.

"Oh, you cruel thing," he said darkly. "You know what you're doing, don't you?"

No response came from you. If he wanted answers, that was the best you could give him right now. And for a moment, he appeared to know that too.

A shudder invaded your body when Joshua grabbed his cock on one hand, dragging his cockhead on your wet folds. A soft breath spilled from his lips when he felt you, skin on skin.

"Ready?" Joshua searched your eyes again.

You nodded. "Ready," you breathed.

A low whimper coiled in your throat when he slowly eased himself in. Your hand held onto his shoulder, your eyes brimmed with tears from the pain of how big he actually felt without the extra lubrication that the condoms provided.

But you also moaned at how insanely good he felt raw. It was so good to finally feel him, every naked inch of him inside your walls, that you swore you would climax from just having him like this. 

"Breathe, baby," he whispered, kissing your moans with such tenderness that you almost broke.

"Joshua," you whimpered, your fingers digging on his shoulder.

"It's okay. I know, baby," he frowned slightly. "Do you want to stop?"

"No, no. I'm fine. Please," you begged, although you didn't know what you were begging for.

He released another breath when he finally bottomed out, your walls throbbed desperately around his length and he pressed his forehead against yours.

His eyelids fluttered closed before pulling his hips back, the feeling of his cock sliding out your wet walls felt good—so good that you were already whimpering and trembling.

"Okay?" he gasped, starting to push in and out of you.

"Yes, more than okay, Joshua," you stuttered, closing your eyes with a sigh.

"You're crying, baby," he pointed, he was still moving achingly slow.

"It-it's big—you're so big," you stammered pathetically.

He paused. "Am I hurting you?" his voice was laced with concern.

"No, it's not bad, Joshua. I can take it," you breathed.

It actually wasn't that bad—as he pushed his cock in and out you could feel your walls easing and stretching around it, adjusting to his size.

Joshua looked tense, he let out a groan when his hips started moving faster on you, then he pulled his body back, making you cry out in pleasure when the position of his cock inside you shifted, pressing on your front walls.

He brought a hand on your lower abdomen, his thumb finding your clit to start rubbing on it.

"Better?" he asked. He was still weary, his big eyes searching your face as he pushed his cock in and out on you, rubbing your clit to ease you from the lingering threads of pain.

"Yeah. Feels so good, Joshua," you sighed, swallowing thickly at the drag of his cock inside your walls. "So, so good."

"Yeah, I know," he replied with a low groan. "You feel good too, sweetheart. Fuck, so good."

You whimpered at the sound of his words, the way he pronounced each one with a tight jaw, his brow furrowing as he pushed his cock inside your walls at a delicious pace.

"So warm and wet, so fucking good, baby," he sighed.

His thumb pressed on your clit, rubbing it and teasing it senselessly, making you moan and squirm. It was too much, your hands clenched on your bed covers when you sensed your orgasm drawing near again.

"Oh, god. Fuck," you whimpered, writhing against your bed as Joshua dragged his cock in and out your clenching walls.

"Fuck," he groaned, his hips buckled for a second. "You're close. Right, bunny?"

You shook your head on your pillows.

Then, his fingers landed a slap right on your clit, making you yelp loudly. Clearly telling on your weak lie.

"Yes! Yes, I'm close, Joshua," you cried out.

He smirked in response, his hands holding your hips a second before he started ramming his cock faster inside your cunt. Your eyes widened at him and bit your lip hard enough to draw blood.

"Fuck," he muttered again before pulling out of you, right as your walls started clenching deliciously near your release.

"Joshua!" you whined, breathing furiously at him.

"Remember what I said," he was breathing hard too, probably because he was resisting his own pleasure only to edge you.

He carefully lowered his hard and wet cock on top of your tummy, you stifled a moan at the sheer size of it and the weight of it too. The reddened tip, the soft marks of a vein along the wet shaft, you bit your lip.

"Shua, please," you pleaded with a desperate sigh.

"That's not my name, baby," he snapped with a dark look.

"Joshua, I'll be good, just-"

"Tell me why I should believe you," he muttered as he moved to slide within your walls again, your heart swelled with a little satisfaction when he groaned in pleasure too. 

"I'll show you," you said weakly.

"Not good enough, princess," he shook his head as he slapped your pussy again, right in your sensitive clit.

"God, fuck!" you yelped loudly. "I'm sorry, Joshua. I'm sorry for pushing you away."

You moaned helplessly when leaned down a bit and spit on your cunt, covering your clit with his saliva to start rubbing circles on your swollen and oversensitive bud.

"Why, do you like to have me at your beck and call? You enjoy to fuck me and toss me away like one of your toys?" he muttered darkly.

Suddenly you regretted telling him to punish you, because he only wanted the truth from you, unlike last time he punished you and you had to try not utter a word while he fucked you into the bed.

But you could see that he was struggling to hold back, swallowing hard, his brow furrowed.

"No! You're not my toy—you're... you're," you stammered. Were you about to confess? Like this?

Your orgasm was threatening close, so you squirmed on your bed, trying to create some distance from his fingers teasing your clit. Joshua understood what you were attempting to do and started caressing it lightly, thinking that he was over stimming you.

"You're close?" he asked, realizing when he heard you sigh a moan.

But he didn't wait for your answer. Joshua pulled out again, his cock landing with a soft slap on your lower tummy. A single drop of cum dripped from his tip, but he wasn't cumming yet, you knew that by the way he was breathing in deeply, trying to contain himself.

If he only wanted the truth, you were deep in trouble. Because you push him away to avoid your growing infatuation over him.

"Joshua?" you called abruptly.

"Mm?" he lifted his gaze to find yours.

"What's your favorite color?" you asked breathlessly.

"What, why?" he frowned.

"Tell me," you pressed.

"Pink," he responded, his brow not relaxing.

"Really? That's cute," you sighed, Joshua's hips retracted from your body and he positioned himself again on his knees, his cock aligned with your core.

"Yours?" he asked with an air of reluctance.

You told him your favorite color.

"Why did I know you'd say that," he replied with a small smile.

"Your birthday?" you asked, feeling utterly pathetic.

He chuckled breathily. "What, why're you asking me this right now?"

"Tell me," you insisted. "Please."

"December 30th," he responded, looking confused.

A loud moan reverberated across your room, so loud that you almost wanted to cover your mouth when his cock sank into your walls again. He thrusted slowly, but then he continued rubbing your clit with his two middle fingers.

"What's yours, princess?" he asked, appearing to be following whatever you were trying to do. 

You told him your birthday through broken gasps.

"Still, I don't get why you ask," he breathed tiredly.

"I want to get to know you better," you told him with a whine.

Joshua smiled sweetly at you and that might've done it for you.

Your walls clenched around him and he groaned loudly, slamming his hips against you, the sound of his skin slapping against you filled the silence that followed between you.

Something you weren't expecting happened:  Joshua seemed to have forgotten about edging you, closing his eyelids tightly, his mouth parting a little. You loved to see when his face scrunched up like that, when he was so close that the muscles around his mouth relaxed, but his frown would deepen sweetly. 

Joshua threw his head back a little, a moan muffled in his mouth, his throat bobbing a little as he seemed to be immersed in pure pleasure. He didn't relent his hard thrusts on you, pushing his cock in and out your sopping walls while rubbing your clit expertly.

"Fuck, I can't—Joshua," you gasped. "I'm close. Please, please. Let me cum?"

Joshua groaned before lowering his gaze back at you. "Where do you want me, baby?"

It took you two seconds to understand what he was implying.

"Inside," you breathed. "Please. Cum inside me."

He nodded before he started ramming his cock in your walls faster, moaning loudly through clenched teeth. You moaned with him and sank your head into your pillows, back arching as the tension in your body only grew more intense.

"Joshua, oh god—Joshua," you called, not knowing what else to say, feeling all sanity slipping out of your mind, coming undone under waves of pure bliss washing over you.

"Baby," he called to you. "Say it again."

You blinked weakly, his words bringing you back to reality.  

"I'm yours, Joshua," you breathed.

"You're mine," he replied with a raw tone. "I'm gonna make you mine, right baby? You want that? Want me to stuff your pretty pussy full of my cum?"

You moaned and nodded desperately, your walls squeezing him hard the moment you heard his words.

"Yes, oh god, yes please," you whimpered.

He cussed and moaned as he came inside you, pushing his hips against you sloppily.

"You're mine," he whispered, his eyes glazing over the sight of you cumming hard with him.

"Only yours, Joshua," you responded wildly.

He groaned, your name spilling from his plump lips, pushing his cum deep inside you with lazy thrusts and came to a stop with heavy breaths.

His head thrown back slightly, his eyelids fluttering shut, his mouth parted. He looked so unreal, ethereal even.

Oh god. What have you done?  

Joshua seemed to come down from his high when you shifted on your bed ever so slightly.

"What was all that?" he demanded in a tone that still denoted his confusion still. "The questions."

"I know nothing about you, Joshua," you explained shyly.

And yet, you told him you were his.

But he blinked slowly and started laughing, his cock was still buried inside your walls.

"Don't laugh at me," you pouted through your hurt ego, though he had no idea why you started quizzing him mid-coitus.

"You couldn't wait till we were done?" he asked and giggled again when you shook your head.

He leaned forward, placing his arms above your head on your pillows and pressed his chest against yours, his eyes looking at you fondly.

"What other questions do you have for me?" he asked.

"I-I have plenty," you admitted meekly.

"Is there a reason why you want to know now? Or can it wait?" he kept his eyes trained on you, you noticed, he was gathering every reaction you showed.

"It can wait," you nodded. "Why?"

"Because you asked me to fuck you all night and I'm in the middle of that," he booped your nose with one finger. "Can you keep your questions until I'm done?"

A sweet smile crept on his face when your core fluttered around him and you groaned in utter embarrassment.

"Is that a yes?" he laughed.

You groaned again and slapped his shoulder slightly.

"I'll get something to clean you up," he muttered with a smile still, pulling his hips from you.

He returned some minutes later with a hand towel, which he had soaked with warm water and he gently cleaned the cum that had already spilled from your entrance.

"I found it in the cupboard. I hope you don't mind," he darted a look at you briefly.

"It's fine," you assured him. "I need to go to the bathroom to take care of everything else."

"Do you want me to carry you there?" he asked, getting up from the bed.

"I'm fine," you sat up on your bed. "Can we shower later?" you asked meekly.

"Sure, baby," he sighed softly.

When you came back to your bedroom, you had half-expected to see him asleep from how tired he actually looked. But he was lying on your bed, one leg crossed over and absentmindedly looking at his phone screen, one arm tucked under his head.

God, he was a sight to see. Chest and throat covered in hickeys, his black hair ruffled slightly, the bedroom eyes when he noticed you walking in.

You climbed your bed and lied on your side next to him.

"You're okay?" he asked after he left his phone on the nightstand and turned on his side to look at you.

"Yeah," you sighed. "Never better."

His fingers cupped your chin softly and you leaned to lock his lips with your own in a tender, hot kiss. Joshua moaned softly in your mouth when you felt his tongue slid in your mouth to mingle with yours.

You gathered in your mind what little and fruitless information you got from your long day with Joshua. Maybe you got it wrong this whole time, and you don't need to know what his favorite color is, although you did want to learn his birthday.

You could no longer hide your infatuation over Joshua Hong. It was becoming painfully obvious, though you weren't sure to what extent he was aware of this. Or if he even cared, for that matter.

There was one more painful realization to all of this, one that you didn't expect and probably overlooked because you were worried so much about your infatuation with him that you didn't care to see him with clarity.

Joshua was lonely.

✮ a/n: i'm sorry

i have nothing else to say.

not really, haha

i love joshua, i loved writing this

if you liked this chapter please show it some love? 🥺

and happy holidays!! ヾ(•w•`)o

READ PART 5

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[tadanoningen-fr]

My WH Brick by Brick Notes

(PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS WHOLE POST CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE 10/2024 WELCOME HOME UPDATE! DO NOT READ IF YOU DID NOT SEE THE UPDATE, YOU WILL NOT UNDERSTAND ANYWAY!)

Also this is a very large post and there may be some grammatical errors. I recommend watching the video and listening to the audio while reading these notes. If you can't, IWillGetYourSmile! (PROMISE) on YouTube recently put up the videos and audio for anyone who cannot see them on the website.

Sorry for not putting bullet points, I wrote them on a doc and pasted it here and I was lazy to bullet point everything :')

Brick By Brick

Barnaby’s handprints are on the pages and they’re splotched in black like the gunk seen in the exhibition.

Black gunk are on the pages; title, 2, 8, 9, 14, it’s clearly implied they’re from Barnaby turning the pages, but how and why is Barnaby reading this book?

(Probably over-analyzing) Wally’s face on page 4 seems a little too blackened out.

Poppy wanted to make a cozy for her lamp, Coffin referenced this in one of the Q&A posts for Poppy!

Sally is the character with most of her text missing from the book. Maybe it’s because she keeps breaking the 4th wall talking to the narrator?

Page 7 shows all the neighbors except Poppy, even Eddie is here!

Barnaby’s reaction to Poppy refusing to be in the play is rudely lackadaisical…though he delivers truths harshly.

Sally seems to have a close relationship with Poppy; she cares about her more than any other neighbor. Her feelings were hurt realizing that she made Poppy scared.

Eddie doesn’t hesitate to call Sally “downright rude”. Damn Eddie, now you’re sharing the resentment? I don’t really blame him…

It’s weird that Sally is now worried that Poppy may hear or see her play, isn’t she supposed to be happy about that?

Barnaby’s black-splotched paw is seen again at the corner left of page 9, I think it was his thumb after he turned the page from page 8.

Julie is afraid of the dark.

Almost every appearance he makes, Barnaby is holding food.

Franks’ advice is logical, in which he suggests making Poppy man up so she can at least see the play.

Barnaby started the idea (possibly unintentionally) of “brick by brick”, and for some reason Sally took it too literally. Wait, wasn’t Frank supposed to take things literally?

Light red watercolor paint surrounds Poppy when she’s worried.

Why did the entire neighborhood think that bricking Poppy’s windows was a good idea? I can’t help but feel as if they weren’t quite themselves when doing this.

The shading in page 15, especially on Poppy, seems oddly realistic and not cartoony unlike the whole book art style.

Although most would raise an eyebrow at Poppy’s excitement understanding why she’s being bricked up, I think it kinda makes sense because Poppy always cares about safety, and knowing that the neighbors are bricking her in for her sake, she is okay with this in a way. (She is confirmed to think of this as well.)

Page 14 doesn’t really look like Barnaby’s black paw, but it kinda looks like fingers instead. Who is this? It’s placed oddly at the top of the page.

When Sally calls them peanuts, Barnaby is surprised. I’m also a little surprised because Barnaby was the one who calls Wally peanuts, but here Sally uses it on them.

The Missing Audio

Who says “No, please sit with me.”? I think it’s probably Wally as he doesn’t perform in Sally’s plays often.

We seem to be in Poppy’s perspective, while the book is in the neighbors’ perspective (or maybe Sally’s) as soon as things get quiet.

The breathing is either Poppy’s or the monster Sally describes, as it was seen getting late in page 14 (or it could be just the spotlight effect).

Wood scratching is heard, this is most likely the monster Sally described scratching Poppy’s barn.

Does Poppy think the monster is a neighbor? Is that why she’s saying “the door’s open”?

The monster seems to try to get into Poppy’s home, but if what Poppy says is true (the door is open), why can’t it come in?

The rattling of the doorknob reminds me of how Home speaks through house onomatopoeias, but it’s probably unlikely that Home is making these noises.

Was Poppy trying to get out of her home in fear of the monster? Why the echos?

Sally is the one who says “A-are you alright?”.

I’m still wondering if it’s daytime or nighttime because if it’s nighttime, this might confirm the monster trying to get to Poppy, but if it’s daytime, it will be unconfirmed.

Is Poppy outside? Why is she confused about where she is?

Frank is the one who says “Y-You’re out! The door’s open, why didn’t you open the door?!”. He sounds confused and angry. Maybe he got frightened.

Aftermath Notes & Questions:

Did this take place before or after Homewarming?

We seem to be approaching a pattern with how Darkness and the neighbors interacted with each other; Eddie Dear was surrounded in darkness at homewarming, leading him to a breakdown and panicking, Julie is afraid of the dark, even if it’s caused by something so simple, and when Poppy was surrounded in darkness, the monster was implied to come after her, making her panic.

This is the second time Sally and Frank appear at the end when someone is in trouble, and their time of appearances are the same as well. This happened with Eddie in Homewarming, but Sally left and Frank stayed, and now with Poppy, both Sally and Frank were there.

If this pattern of darkness and the neighbors keep going, this means that the neighbors may be the prey of something we have yet to understand. The question of Wally and Home’s innocence is still unclear, but now Eddie and Poppy are out of the question for being evil in this story for sure. Perhaps Sally and Frank too, but we don’t have enough evidence at the moment.

A question that just appeared and is still unanswered is why Barnaby’s black paw prints are seen in the book. Another thing I noticed is that Barnaby’s paw blocked out the author and illustrator, and so did the record player too. Could this mean that Barnaby may be helping to hide certain things? If so, why? Barnaby’s paws also had been avoiding the pages of where Poppy appears every time.

A little theory about the black paws; Barnaby somehow got his hands on the Brick by Brick book, and began skimming through it until page 14, where someone takes the book from Barnaby and the book is sent to the restoration team. This theory is just based on the black paw prints and fingers, because after page 14, there were no more black prints. And it’s more oddly suspicious that the last black print we see isn’t Barnaby’s, plus it was in an odd place.

[stromuprisahat]

Ivans loss: "soldiers aren't human beings" & "all grisha are soldiers" is probably what the author thinks. I still remember when RoW came out and someone asked Leigh Bardugo a very heated question about Fjerdans and she gave a strange justification (link below). She replied, no to making the reference (let's just respect that answer and let's say Fjerdans arent' what the question said they are - and I don't even want to type it out because it's like kicking a beehive and no good will come from it) Let's focus the issue of grisha = soldier = fair game Leigh justifies Matthias and Fjerda's actions by saying: @ 1:23 "Grisha are soldiers. they are weapons. they are ppl who are fighting back" But....SoC had Matthias and Fjerdans going after non-soldiers. They were quite literally hunting civilians, farmers, etc. in all the lands. "Pursuing rogue Grisha in other lands...liberating Grisha captives with the sole purpose of clapping them back in chains and sending them back to fjerda for trial and execution..." next page captive speaking "We are not criminals...we are ordinary people - farmers, teachers. Not me Nina thought grimly. I'm a soldier. ...Did Leigh truly forget about the 15 innocent souls who were chained in the ship? 15 souls who were there just for being grisha? Does she not re-read her works at all????? x.com/hellcatdynes/status/1584699468536221697

That woman! (derogatory)

(Ivan post)

tw: I'm not gonna hold back in this reply as much as I usually manage. It might get vulgar and harsh.

I've seen this particular pile of shit while it was fresh and gods! I can't even begin to explain how sick it makes me. No wonder so many of her fans are a bunch of ignorant idiots.

Let's start with the icky bit- the whole quote:

... people have drawn parallels between Matthias and the drüskelle and the SS, and I don't think that's completely accurate. The Jews, who were put to their death in WWII were innocent. They were civilians! Their crime was being Jewish. Grisha are soldiers. They are weapons. They are people, who are fighting back, so though the drüskelle are hateful and carry a lot of prejudice with them, it is not the same as them going after innocent civilians. And I need to make that clear, because I would never write a Nazi/Jewish romance.

Honey, that's exactly what you did!

I won't shy away from that passage, because it pisses me off immensely.

... people have drawn parallels between Matthias and the drüskelle and the SS, and I don't think that's completely accurate.

So, here we go with this one- I'm entirely sure their uniforms and Brum's accomplishments have nothing in common with fucking Nazis. If you're colour-blind, or US-American, so you don't grow up with photos of that particular chunk of history in your fucking town, because those people in nice uniforms used to burn corpses of their victims just behind the walls. The crematorium is still standing btw. Daily visited by dozens of tourists.

Seriously- fuck respecting what she said! I possess reading comprehension! These atrocities happened around HERE! It's not just an ugly story for me! I grew up in town once used as Jewish ghetto, concentration camp and Gestapo prison, so yeah, I might be overly sensitive about how you choose to dress you genocidal murder club!

The Jews, who were put to their death in WWII were innocent. They were civilians! Their crime was being Jewish. Grisha are soldiers. They are weapons.

As you mentioned:

... The drüskelle had existed for hundreds of years, but under Brum’s leadership, their force had doubled in size and become infinitely more deadly. He had changed their training, developed new techniques for rooting out Grisha in Fjerda, infiltrated Ravka’s borders, and begun pursuing rogue Grisha in other lands, even hunting down slaving ships, “liberating” Grisha captives with the sole purpose of clapping them back in chains and sending them to Fjerda for trial and execution. ...

Six of Crows- Chapter 14

If I wanted to be extremely kind, I could assume this is just Ravkan propaganda- it's what Nina had been taught-, but later we see her experience:

“You’ll be tried for espionage and crimes against the people.” “We are not criminals,” said a Fabrikator in halting Fjerdan from his place on the floor. He’d been there the longest and was too weak to rise. “We are ordinary people—farmers, teachers.” Not me, Nina thought grimly. I’m a soldier. “You’ll have a trial,” said the drüskelle. “You’ll be treated more fairly than your kind deserve.”

Six of Crows- Chapter 14

The wording's rather obvious- it's not about herding up enemy soldiers, but hunting down another species, another race, another kind. That's exactly the type of reasoning Nazis used- Jews were something different, inferior. Dehumanization is a significant part of their ideology.

*takes several deep breaths, because that Cola I've just drank is about to make a re-appearance*

I'll point out another part- already in one of the links in this post, but:

Until a drüskelle had accomplished a mission on his own and been granted officer status, he was required to remain clean-shaven. ... “Good work is right,” one said in Fjerdan. “Fifteen Grisha to deliver to the Ice Court!” “If this doesn’t earn us our teeth—” “You know it will.” “Good, I’m sick of shaving every morning.” “I’m going to grow a beard down to my navel.”

Six of Crows- Chapter 14

Capturing people to have them slaughtered is a rite of passage for drüskelle. It's an accomplishment worth marking. Something to look forward to and boast about.

Grisha are soldiers. They are weapons.

What about non-combatant members of Second Army? Healers, "untrained" Materialki, Grisha working for nobles? Those are weapons too?!

Like- we've already established nobody cares about the free-range Grisha (unless it's drüskelle in need of promotion), but even Second Army includes those, who aren't the first line of defence! Who won't be used to be attacked.

They are people, who are fighting back, so though the drüskelle are hateful and carry a lot of prejudice with them, it is not the same as them going after innocent civilians.

I'll make it even more obvious- would you say rape doesn't count as such, when its victim learnt self-defense before it happened?!

Nice opinion, Leigh! Great message for the poor young vulnerable girls! Very empowering!

And this is one of those days I'm sorry they don't organize full-experience trips to places like my ex-hometown, because I'd gladly invite that woman, so I can accompany her visit with loud reading of specific quotes from her work.

[youngsadlesbian]

hellooo how are you? i just read your most recent fic and got obssessed omg its so cute😩😩 a while after reading it, i had an fic idea but im not a writer, so im just passing it to you bcz i liked your writing so bad, pls honor me✋😔

what abt a fic where r is nat and bucky daughter and she has a bit of the super soldier serum and that obviously made her kinda 💪 yk? and when she's at school some girlies are falling so hard over her. you could write it over the years, like when she's 6-7 and a girl wants to hold her hand on the school break, walk around and kiss her cheek, super cute omg😭 when she's 10-11 a girl gives her chocolate and a flower and r would be so confused omg i just feel it. and of course, at 14-15 she starts to like a girl and she would be so-- like idk just imagine her coming back home after a day at school smiling and telling nat abt that girl, and nat convinces her to ask the girl out, so she takes r to buy something for the girl (idk what, i never asked someone out💔💔) and later they could date or not, ill let if for you.

omg that's so long im sorry, but pls pls do it😭😭🙏 ill be waiting so anxious for this

STRONGER HEARTS

pairing: bucky barnes x natasha romanoff x daughter!reader

summary: being the daughter of two superheroes wasn't easy, especially when you ended up inheriting a bit of your father's super soldier serum. and especially for drawing attention from other kids, even when you didn't quite understand what that meant.

a/n: idk if this turned out exactly how you wanted, but i tried my best while taking advantage of my free time at work and my burst of creativity. hope you like it, dear <3

word count: 2,6k

warnings: none, just fluff.

It started early, this whole thing about you being... different. Not just in the way your parents, Natasha Romanoff and Bucky Barnes, were literal superheroes with more than enough stories of their own to tell. No, it started with you.

You were only six years old, and already things were starting to get confusing. Not because of school—math was math, recess was recess—but because of the way other kids, especially the girls, looked at you.

You were at recess, standing by the jungle gym, when it happened. A girl named Lily, the same age as you, came bouncing over with a big smile.

"Hi!" she chirped, her blonde pigtails bouncing.

"Hi," you said, glancing at her curiously.

Without hesitation, Lily reached out and grabbed your hand, holding it tightly.

"Come on! I want to walk with you around the playground. You’re so cute!" she declared, pulling you along.

You blinked, not quite sure how to react, but you didn’t resist either. You didn’t mind holding her hand, even if you didn’t fully understand why she wanted to. As you strolled around the playground, Lily kept looking up at you with an expression you couldn’t place. Every so often, she’d giggle and give your hand a squeeze, like holding it was some kind of special prize.

At one point, she stopped and kissed your cheek before running off with a squeal. You stood there, completely bewildered.

Later that day, you told your mom what happened.

"Mom, why did Lily hold my hand all recess and kiss my cheek?" you asked, still confused by the whole thing.

Natasha laughed softly, crouching down to your level. "Well, sweetheart, sometimes people like being close to others they find... cute. Maybe she thinks you're special."

"Special?" you scrunched your nose. "Why?"

"Because you’re you," Natasha said with a smile, ruffling your hair. "You’re going to have that effect on people."

You didn’t fully understand at the time, but you would soon learn that having an effect on people was something that followed you everywhere.

By the time you were ten, you were starting to notice that your classmates were behaving a little strangely around you. Particularly the girls. They were often staring at you, smiling shyly when you walked by, and sometimes even blushing. But the most confusing moment came on Valentine's Day that year.

You were at school, sitting at your desk, when a girl named Emily approached you, her cheeks bright red. In her hands were a small bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates.

"Uh... these are for you," she said, looking like she was about to explode with embarrassment.

You stared at the items she was offering, completely perplexed. "Why?"

Emily blinked, clearly not expecting that response. "Because... I like you?" she said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

You frowned, still not understanding. "You like me? Like... as a friend?"

She hesitated, then shook her head. "No, like... I like like you."

Now you were even more confused. "What does that mean?"

Emily blushed even harder, pushing the flowers and chocolates into your hands before darting off. You sat there, staring at the gifts, completely dumbfounded. What were you supposed to do with them?

Later that evening, you brought the chocolates home, placing them on the kitchen table in front of your dad, who was reading the newspaper.

"Dad, what does it mean if someone gives you flowers and chocolates because they 'like like' you?" you asked, your face a picture of confusion.

Bucky lowered the paper, his expression unreadable. Then, slowly, a grin spread across his face. "Ah, the old 'like like' situation, huh?" He leaned back in his chair, clearly amused. "It means she has a crush on you."

You blinked. "A crush?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "She thinks you’re cute and probably wants to spend more time with you."

You stared at the chocolates in your hand, still trying to wrap your head around it. "I don’t get it. What am I supposed to do?"

Bucky chuckled and ruffled your hair. "Don’t worry about it, kiddo. Just be nice, and let her down easy if you're not interested."

You still didn’t fully understand what had just happened, but you nodded anyway, trusting your dad's advice. But this wasn’t the last time you’d find yourself in confusing situations like this.

It wasn’t until you turned fifteen that things really started to make sense. Or at least, you started to make sense of the feelings you’d been having for a while now.

Her name was Chloe, and she was in your class at school. She had bright eyes, a soft smile, and a laugh that made your heart race. Every day, you found yourself staring at her from across the room, completely mesmerized. You’d never felt this way before.

Whenever you were around her, you’d get flustered, your words tumbling over each other. It didn’t help that she seemed to like spending time with you, which only made your crush even worse. By the time you were halfway through the school year, you were completely and utterly obsessed.

"She’s just... so pretty," you sighed dreamily, sitting at the kitchen table one evening after school.

Natasha glanced over from where she was cooking dinner, raising an eyebrow. "Pretty, huh?"

"Yeah," you said, resting your chin in your hands. "Like, really pretty. And smart. And funny."

Bucky, sitting nearby with a book, exchanged a knowing look with Natasha.

"Sounds like someone’s got a crush," Natasha teased lightly.

Your face turned bright red, but you didn’t deny it. "What do I do? I don’t know how to talk to her without sounding like an idiot."

Natasha smiled, walking over to sit beside you. "Maybe you should ask her out."

You blinked in surprise. "Ask her out? You think I can do that?"

"Of course, you can," Natasha said with a shrug. "What’s the worst that could happen?"

You chewed on your bottom lip, thinking it over. "What if she says no?"

"Then you move on," Bucky said, setting his book down. "But you won’t know unless you try."

It was easier said than done, though. Asking Chloe out seemed like the scariest thing in the world. But the more you thought about it, the more you wanted to. So, naturally, you turned to the people who could (theoretically) help: the Avengers.

The next day, you found yourself in the Avengers Tower, nervously pacing around as you waited for some of the team to show up. You’d decided to gather as much advice as possible before making your move.

Tony Stark was the first to arrive, sauntering into the room with his signature smirk.

"So, I hear you need help asking someone out," Tony said, folding his arms. "Lucky for you, I’m a master at this."

You raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Absolutely. Here’s what you do: build her something. Like a mini Iron Man suit. Girls love that."

You blinked. "Uh... I don’t think I can build a suit."

Tony waved a hand dismissively. "Details, details. Just wow her with something impressive. Trust me."

Next up was Thor, who entered with his usual dramatic flair, his hammer in hand.

"Ah, young love!" Thor boomed, clapping you on the shoulder. "The key to winning over a maiden’s heart is boldness! Sweep her off her feet! Declare your feelings loudly and with great passion!"

You couldn’t help but laugh nervously. "I don’t think I should yell at her."

"Nonsense! Nothing says romance like shouting your love from the rooftops!" Thor insisted, his eyes twinkling with excitement.

As more Avengers filtered in, the advice only got more absurd. Clint suggested using arrows to spell out her name in the sky, and Bruce—though more subdued—suggested writing a thoughtful essay about your feelings. You were starting to think none of this was going to help.

It wasn’t until you sat down with your dad, Bucky, that you finally got some real advice.

"So, you’re really into this girl, huh?" Bucky asked, sitting across from you with a serious expression.

"Yeah," you admitted, feeling a little embarrassed.

Bucky nodded thoughtfully. "Here’s the thing: you don’t need to do anything crazy. Just be yourself. Ask her to hang out, maybe go grab some ice cream or something simple. You don’t need fireworks or Iron Man suits. Just be honest."

You looked at him, feeling a wave of relief wash over you. "You think that'll work?"

"I know it will," Bucky said with a soft smile. "She’ll appreciate the real you more than anything."

Taking your dad’s advice to heart, you finally mustered up the courage to ask Chloe out. It wasn’t as dramatic as Tony or Thor would’ve wanted, but it was honest.

"Hey, Chloe," you said one day after school, nervously rubbing the back of your neck. "Do you maybe wanna go get ice cream with me this weekend?"

Chloe’s eyes lit up, and she smiled. "I’d love to."

Your heart skipped a beat when Chloe said yes. For a moment, you were frozen, unable to process that she’d actually agreed to go out with you. But then, slowly, a wide grin spread across your face.

"Great! Um, I’ll text you the details?" you stammered, still trying to keep your cool.

Chloe nodded, her smile warm and genuine. "Sounds good. I’m looking forward to it."

As you walked away, a giddy feeling bubbled up inside you, and by the time you got home, you were practically floating. The moment you stepped into the apartment, you dropped your bag by the door and burst out, "Mom! Dad! She said yes!"

Natasha looked up from where she was sitting on the couch, a knowing smile on her face. "Told you."

Bucky was sitting nearby, his eyes lighting up with pride. "See? Told you all you had to do was be yourself."

You flopped onto the couch between them, still buzzing with excitement. "I’m going to get ice cream with Chloe. This weekend. Can you believe it?"

Natasha chuckled, resting a hand on your shoulder. "I’m happy for you, sweetheart. You did good."

"Now you just have to survive the date," Bucky teased, winking at you.

You laughed nervously. "Yeah… right."

The weekend came faster than you expected, and soon you were standing outside a little ice cream shop, waiting for Chloe to arrive. Your hands were stuffed in your pockets, and your heart was pounding so hard you thought it might burst out of your chest.

When Chloe finally showed up, you felt your breath hitch. She looked even more beautiful than usual, with her hair down in loose waves and a light smile playing on her lips.

"Hey," she said, her voice soft as she approached.

"Hey," you replied, trying not to sound as nervous as you felt. "Ready for some ice cream?"

Chloe grinned. "Definitely."

The two of you went inside, ordered your ice creams, and found a quiet spot by the window. As you sat across from her, the awkwardness you’d feared didn’t show up. Instead, you found yourself talking easily, laughing at her jokes, and feeling more comfortable than you ever thought possible.

"You know," Chloe said after a while, twirling her spoon in her cup, "I’m really glad you asked me out. I’ve kinda liked you for a while."

You blinked, taken aback. "Wait—really?"

Chloe giggled, her cheeks flushing slightly. "Yeah. I wasn’t sure if you felt the same, but… I guess you do."

You felt your face heat up, but this time it wasn’t from embarrassment—it was from happiness. "I do. I really do."

The rest of the date went by in a blur of laughter, smiles, and shared glances that made your heart race. By the time you were walking Chloe back to her place, you were already thinking about the next time you’d see her.

When you reached her doorstep, there was a brief, sweet moment of silence between the two of you. Chloe turned to face you, her eyes soft and warm.

"I had a really great time," she said, her voice gentle.

"Me too," you replied, feeling a little breathless.

There was a pause, and then, without thinking too much about it, you leaned in and kissed her cheek. Chloe’s smile widened, and she gave you a shy wave before heading inside, leaving you standing there with the biggest grin on your face.

When you got home, your parents were waiting, both of them pretending to be casually occupied, but you knew they were dying to know how it went.

"So," Natasha said, raising an eyebrow. "How was it?"

You dropped onto the couch with a happy sigh. "It was perfect."

Bucky smirked. "Told you all you needed was to be yourself. None of that flashy stuff."

Natasha smiled warmly, sitting down next to you. "We’re proud of you. So… is there going to be a second date?"

You grinned, feeling a rush of excitement. "I think so."

Just then, Tony walked into the room, raising an eyebrow. "Did I hear something about a date? Did my advice work?"

Natasha rolled her eyes. "Please, Tony. If she’d followed your advice, she’d be building an Iron Man suit for the next three months."

Tony looked indignant. "Hey, building suits is romantic."

You laughed. "Actually, I didn’t need a suit. I just asked her out, like Dad said."

Tony sighed dramatically. "Ah, young love. So simple and pure. You’ll learn one day, kid."

Over the next few days, the Avengers couldn’t stop teasing you about the date. Clint would randomly shout "Smooth move!" whenever he saw you, and Thor kept encouraging you to "declare your love loudly, as is the Asgardian way!" But in the end, it was all in good fun, and you found yourself loving the chaotic but supportive family you had.

As your relationship with Chloe blossomed, word spread quickly throughout the Avengers Tower. It wasn’t long before all the Avengers were curious about the girl who’d captured your heart.

One day, as you were training with Steve in the gym, he glanced over at you with a grin. "So, when do we get to meet this girl of yours?"

You nearly stumbled over your own feet. "Wait—what?"

"You know," Steve continued, chuckling, "bring her around to meet the team. We’d all love to meet her."

You blushed, feeling a little overwhelmed. "I don’t know… It’s kind of a big step, introducing her to you guys."

Steve gave you a reassuring smile. "Don’t worry. We’ll behave."

You raised an eyebrow. "Will you, though? Because Tony and Thor don’t know the meaning of 'subtle.'"

Steve laughed. "Okay, fair point. But still, she sounds great. I think we’d all like her."

You thought about it for a moment, then nodded. "Maybe soon."

As your relationship with Chloe continued to grow, you found yourself feeling more confident, not just in your relationship but in yourself. Your parents, Natasha and Bucky, were always there to support you, offering advice when you needed it and cheering you on from the sidelines.

One evening, as you sat with them on the couch, watching a movie, Natasha wrapped an arm around you and pulled you close.

"You know," she said softly, "we’re really proud of you. You’ve grown into an amazing person."

You smiled, resting your head on her shoulder. "Thanks, Mom."

Bucky nodded from the other side of the couch, his voice gentle. "We’re lucky to have you."

In that moment, surrounded by the people who loved you most, you realized just how lucky you were. You had a family that supported you, a girl who cared about you, and a future that was wide open with possibilities.

And no matter what came next, you knew you’d be ready—because you had the best parents, and the most chaotic team of superheroes, right by your side.

[jowrites]

We got Married - Enhypen Series

***********Idol Heeseung! x Senior idol! OC************

When the old popular show, We got Married, decided to make a comeback, companies were quick to pitch their artists for the show. Heeseung was sent as one of the participants to represent his group which he, being the shy introverted guy, was not so happy about. Especially, when finding out that his partner was going to be one of the most respected artist/producers in the industry. Roman was in her 12th year as an idol and 4 years older than him, he wanted to quickly run away and drop out but knew his company was depending on him to promote his group and show another side of idols. Throughut the production he grows closer and closer to his 'wife' while the fans are watching and loving how sweet their idols are toards one another. Only, they aren't quite sure what's real and what's fake when it comes to these two 'husband & wife'.

***********Groups: ENHYPEN, BTS, SHINee, AESPA*****************

TW: Cursing, stalkers(sasaengs), sexual themes

Chatrooms 1

Chatrooms 2

Who is STARDOLL?

Prologue

1 Pick your partner (written)

BONUS: Do you like Messi?

2 He's literally terrified

3 Let's be friends

BONUS: You need mental help

4 This is fun

5 It was the onions

BONUS: Taemin is the problem

6 How is this real? (written)

7 The fans are loving it

8 The chemistry is real?

9 Hee is kind of crazy

BONUS: Back off!

10 jealousy is a disease (written)

11 Y is she like this?

12 The debate

13 Supportive wife/husband tingz

14 Sad hours

15 Things got scary

16 Let the rain fall (written)

17 We don't care

18 The getaway

19 Hard launch

20 Roman's Protection Squad

21 The letters (written)

22 Sasaengs & their shenanigans

23 Protecting each other

24 She makes me a better person

BONUS: How she's changed the industry

25 How she found out

BONUS: Roman & her needs

26 The Game Caterers Episode

27 The day she said yes (written)

28 Memory lane

29 The got Married

Epilogue

[haikirii]

Thinking about q!Cellbit's life: before, during and after the war

Recently, q!Cellbit talked a bit more about his wartime background alongside q!Badboyhalo - let's pretend I'm not freaking out about my hcs being canonized - and I wanted to reflect a little bit on everything he said. Mainly, reflecting on how tragic q!Cellbit's life is and how he can only have a normal routine after arriving on the island.

First of all, I would like to remind you of a rather sad fact that gives us some clues about your childhood that is still a mystery. One day, q!Cellbit was having a picnic with Richarlyson and he says "Did you know I've never been on a picnic before on this island?", which made me think about something so simple never having happened even in his childhood. Maybe I'm making a simple sentence a lot deeper than it should be, but when q!Cellbit confirmed that he entered the war at just 14/15 years old, my mind can't help but wander to that sentence and that day.

Come on, from what little q!Cellbit elaborated from the war for Richarlyson - which I'll talk more about later - leads me to believe that at the very least you'd have to have some heavy training to survive in it as an average soldier. However, q!Cellbit was not just any soldier, he was one of the best of his time at just 14 years old. How long did he train? Who trained his? How intense and cruel does training have to be for a 14-year-old teenager to be a killing machine amidst the chaos of the battlefield? What all this makes me think is that he was specifically trained from childhood to be a soldier. Sure, the training might not have been able to erase his teenage recklessness and rebelliousness, but it's still the only thing I can think of for him to have been such a good fighter. q!Cellbit didn't have comfort, he didn't rest, he never did normal child things and maybe that's why he values so much that Richarlyson lives like a normal child even with all the dangers of the island. Even though Richarlyson would also have to have been raised as a warrior to protect himself, q!Cellbit still doesn't want him to have the same fate as him.

And then we go to war and that's when q!Badboyhalo enters. He confirmed, once again, that the demon was with him and that they fought side by side. Of the things that q!Cellbit told him, one of them was that he was an Endergage - outside of roleplay: one of hg's classes. With that, I can only think of a scene where a hyperactive teenager goes around teleporting everyone close to him and killing them with impressive skill while an ancient demon screams at him to be careful and stop cursing while delivering blows. Because killing is OK, but swearing was the limit - and of course q!Cellbit was terrified of q!Badboyhalo cleaning his mouth with soap after battles.

He also mentioned a little bit of how the war worked, which was literally the hg: they were thrown into the arena, without resources and either you were the last one to survive or you would die. q!Cellbit told how there were cowards - his words - who hid in block towers. He seems to hate Stompers quite a bit, citing how he hunted them and how they didn't expect him to be so good with his teleportation power.

And then q!Cellbit tells Richarlyson that "These were simpler times, where I had to fight for my life every day." How troubled does your life have to have been for THIS to have been simpler times? Fight for your life in a cruel battle of life and death every day. He said it was fun days even with fear plaguing his skin, his fun time was on the battlefield.

After that, he says "Then I went to jail […] it has more or less to do (with the war)". And that's what intrigues me the most: even in Fuga Impossível, we never found out why he was arrested. This information is completely new, which leads me to believe in two things: war crime or that he is too strong to let him free in society. I think a lot about the possibility of war crime due to cannibalism, but he himself said he didn't actually commit that much - I just honestly don't know how much we can trust q!Cellbit's words on this because of how unreliable he is when it comes to some prison stuff, tending to smooth things over to his side. Aside from cannibalism, which we're not sure he actually committed in the war as only q!Pac's bites and leg have been confirmed, I think about how he was a good enough killing machine to have a special government interest in leaving him in jail.

Think with me: he entered the war at 14/15 years old, but a lot of things lead me to believe that he was arrested at about 18 years old. He talks about how he and q!Badboyhalo broke up after the war was over and after that the arrest occurred. Maybe that break after the war has made him even more mentally unstable? q!Cellbit still spent a few years in Alcatraz, but we don't know if he was already unstable when he arrived in prison or if the prison messed with his head over the years. His behavior may have been generated as a defense mechanism against other more aggressive inmates along with a reflection of the traumas of battles, he barely had time to process all the years he lived there.

q!Cellbit emphasizes the "kill or die" a lot, it hurts to imagine what that did to his mind. On how after parting with q!Badboyhalo, he was alone and with no one to trust again. He dominated the prison alone, made protection pacts with other gangs alone without being able to really trust them. I've already talked about how important trust is to q!Cellbit, and now it just makes me think that he only had one person to really trust before his arrest.

Quoting myself:

"In Fuga Impossível, the only thing he asked f!Tazercraft was "Don't break my trust". I mean, we can't judge them because f!Cellbit wasn't the sanest person to have a relationship with inside the jail - considering the events that followed and the consequences like f!Felps killed in a riot, f!Pac having his leg eaten, f!Jvnq murdered and f!Celbit abandoned on an island.

However, he still tried to trust in f!Tazercrat. he tried to take a chance, even if you can't see that chance with the best of intentions."

Trust is the central point of this character, it's something essential for him. And he eventually escapes from this other hell he got himself into, alone and with no one to trust after being betrayed and also doing horrible things to his fellow escapees because q!Cellbit is no saint. And once again he has to get back on his own.

And a great deal of time has passed since then. He does some miraculous therapy and gets better, q!Cellbit finds the q!Tazercraft on the ship but they still maintain that distrust from years ago. He also has q!Felps to rely on now and is introduced to q!Forever, nothing is the same as years before.

q!Cellbit finds q!Badboyhalo, his war buddy. Two wounded veterans who've been through life's hell before and after everything, who've split up. Where q!Badboyhalo sees that already grown teenager, full of scars, dark circles and trauma and thinks "What happened to you all this time?".

And it hurts me a lot to think that only now q!Cellbit has found the happiness and confidence he's always been looking for. That being forced onto this island where he was tortured, tricked by the federation several times; kidnapped; had parts of his memories erased from the time he worked there; he suffered for having broken his family at the time of the betrayal; it was only on this damn island that he managed to find people to love and trust.

q!Cellbit loves his family and would do anything for them. He loves his son to the point of considering giving up everything just so he can have a better future than he had; he loves his Guapito, who has his full trust and unconditional love to the point of almost having a relapse when their relationship was threatened.

His Guapito, who was your anchor. The one who trusted and defended him when everyone was against him, the one who supported him in everything he did. The one with whom q!Cellbit made a mistake, but was forgiven and tries to be someone better every day so as not to fail anymore.

q!Forever, who trusts him SO MUCH to the point of not even being interested in knowing information if that put his family at risk. The one who even after hearing so much shit coming out of q!Cellbit's mouth, still had a glimmer of hope that it was all a lie for trusting him.

q!Tazercraft, who forgave him even after everything he'd done. After he killed his friend, who help him because they know that family is all they have.

q!Felps, who is the person he knows best. His best friend who made him go through hell just to find him.

It is on this island, with codes, with a cruel organization that manipulates everyone, with unbelievable entities and mysteries, that he can finally have a normal life. He can finally wake up and have coffee with his son and husband, q!Cellbit can finally just build his castle and do things he never could like a simple picnic with the other eggs on the island.

And when he told q!Forever that "I don't have anyone off this island, everyone I love is here" he was right. Even if he was pretending to infiltrate, that sentence was totally true. q!Cellbit has no one outside Quesadilla Island, he has no reason to want to leave it.

But even so, all he wants is for the people he loves the most to be free. And that's what I love most about this character. I love how he suffered so much, how he saw the worst in people and still wants the best for them.

I love how flawed he is, how he fucks up and acknowledges it. And even when he doesn't recognize it and tries to smooth it over, to me that just makes him even more real. q!Cellbit is full of flaws and full of love, he understands others, he takes care of what is his.

q!Cellbit is human.

tradução pt-br

Recentemente, q!Cellbit falou um pouco mais sobre o seu passado na guerra junto de q!Badboyhalo - vamos fingir que eu não estou surtando pelos meus hcs serem canonizados - e eu queria refletir um pouco sobre tudo o que ele falou. Principalmente, refletir sobre o quão trágica é a vida de q!Cellbit e sobre como ele só pode ter uma rotina normal depois de chegar na ilha.

Primeiro tudo, gostaria de relembrar um fato meio triste que nos dá um pouco de pistas sobre a sua infância que ainda é um mistério. Um dia, q!Cellbit estava fazendo um piquenique com Richarlyson e ele fala "Sabia que eu nunca fui em um piquenique antes dessa ilha?", o que já tinha me despertado uma pulga atrás da orelha sobre uma coisa tão simples nunca ter acontecido nem em sua infância. Talvez eu esteja tornando uma frase simples muito mais profunda do que deveria, mas quando o q!Cellbit confirmou que ele entrou na guerra com apenas 14/15 anos de idade, minha mente não pode deixar de vagar para essa frase e esse dia.

Vamos lá, pelo pouco que o q!Cellbit elaborou da guerra para Richarlyson - que vou falar mais sobre depois - me leva a acreditar que no mínimo você teria que ter um treinamento pesado para sobreviver nela como um soldado mediano. Porém, q!Cellbit não era qualquer soldado, ele era um dos melhores da sua época com apenas 14 anos de idade. Por quanto tempo ele treinou? Quem o treinou? O quão intenso e cruel um treinamento tem que ser para um adolescente de apenas 14 anos de idade ser uma máquina de matar em meio ao caos do campo de batalha? O que tudo isso me faz pensar é que ele foi específicamente treinado desde a infância para ser um soldado. Claro, o treinamento pode não ter sido capaz de apagar a imprudência e rebeldia adolescente, mas ainda assim é a única coisa que eu consigo pensar para ele ter sido um lutador tão bom. q!Cellbit não teve aconchego, não teve descanso, nunca fez coisas normais de uma criança e talvez seja por isso que ele preze tanto para que Richarlyson viva como uma criança normal mesmo com todos os perigos da ilha. Mesmo que Richarlyson tenha que também ter sido criado como um guerreiro para se proteger, ainda assim q!Cellbit não quer que ele tenha o mesmo destino que ele.

E aí vamos para a guerra e é nesse momento que q!Badboyhalo entra. Ele confirmou, mais uma vez, que o demônio estava com ele e que eles lutaram lado a ladoDas coisas que q!Cellbit contou, uma delas era que ele era um Endermage - fora de roleplay: uma das classes de hg. Com isso, eu só consigo pensar em uma cena onde uma adolescente hiperativo saindo por aí teleportando todo mundo para perto de si e matando eles com uma habilidade impressionante enquanto um demônio milenar gritava para ele tomar cuidado e parar de falar palavrão enquanto desferia os golpes. Porque matar? Ok, mas palavrão era o limite - e claro que q!Cellbit morria de medo de q!Badboyhalo limpar sua boca com sabão depois das batalhas.

Ele também citou um pouquinho de como funcionava a guerra, que era literalmente o hg: eles eram jogados na arena, sem recursos e ou você era último a sobreviver ou você morreria. q!Cellbit contou como existiam covardes - palavras dele - que se escondiam em torres de blocos. Ele parece odiar bastante Stompers na real, citando como ele os caçava e como eles não esperava que ele fosse tão bom com seu poder de teleporte.

E então q!Cellbit fala para Richarlyson que "Eram tempos mais simples, onde eu tinha que lutar pela minha vida todos os dias." O quão conturbada a sua vida tem que ter sido para ISSO terem sido tempos mais simples? Lutar por sua vida em uma batalha cruel de vida ou morte todos os dias. Ele ter dito que era dias divertidos mesmo com o medo assolando sua pele, seu momento de diversão era no campo de batalha.

Depois disso, ele diz "Depois eu fui pra cadeia [...] tem mais ou menos relação (com a guerra)". E isso é o que mais me intriga: mesmo em Fuga Impossível, a gente nunca descobriu o porquê de ele ter sido preso. Essa informação é totalmente nova, o que me leva a crer em duas coisas: crime de guerra ou ele ser muito forte para deixar ele livre em sociedade. Eu penso muito sobre a possibilidade do crime de guerra por conta do canibalismo, mas ele mesmo disse que não chegou a cometer tanto assim - só que sinceramente não sei o quanto podemos confiar nas palavras de q!Cellbit sobre isso por conta do quão pouco confiável ele é quando se trata de algumas coisas da prisão, tendendo a amenizar situações para o seu lado. Fora o canibalismo, que não temos certeza se ele chegou a cometer na guerra já que apenas foram confirmados mordidas e a perna de q!Pac, penso em como ele era uma máquina de matar boa o suficiente para ter um interesse especial do governo em deixá-lo preso.

Pensa comigo: ele entrou na guerra com 14/15 anos, mas muita coisa me leva a crer que ele foi preso com uns 18 anos. Ele fala sobre como ele e q!Badboyhalo se separaram depois que a guerra acabou e depois disso ocorreu a prisão. Talvez essa quebra depois da guerra tenha tornado ele ainda mais mentalmente instável? q!Cellbit ainda ficou alguns anos em Alcatraz, mas não sabemos se ele já era instável quando chegou na prisão ou se a cadeia mexeu com a cabeça dele durante os anos. O seu comportamento pode ter sido gerado como um mecanismo de defesa contra outros presos mais agressivos junto de um reflexo dos traumas das batalhas, ele mal pôde ter tempo de processar todos os anos que ele viveu ali.

q!Cellbit frisa muito o "era matar ou morrer", dói muito imaginar o que isso fez com a mente dele. Em como ao se separar de q!Badboyhalo, ele estava sozinho e sem ninguém para confiar de novo. Ele dominou a prisão sozinho, fez pactos de proteção com outras gangues sozinho sem poder realmente confiar neles. Já falei sobre como confiança é importante para q!Cellbit, e agora isso só me faz pensar que ele apenas teve uma pessoa para realmente confiar antes da prisão.

Citando eu mesmo:

"Em Fuga Impossível, a única coisa que ele pediu para os moços foi "Não quebrem a minha confiança". Quero dizer, não podemos julgá-los pois f!Cellbit não era a pessoa mais sã de se ter uma relação dentro da cadeia - considerando nos fatos que se sucederam e nas consequências de um f!Felps morto em uma rebelião, f!Pac tendo sua perna comida, f!Jvnq assassinado e f!Cellbit abandonado em uma ilha.

Porém, ainda assim ele tentou confiar nos moços. Ele tentou dar uma chance, mesmo que você não possa ver essa chance com a melhores das intenções."

Confiança é o ponto central desse personagem, é algo essencial para ele. E ele eventualmente foge desse outro inferno que ele se meteu, sozinho e sem ninguém para confiar depois de ter sido traído e também ter feito coisas horríveis para seus companheiros de fuga porque q!Cellbit não é nenhum santo. E mais uma vez ele tem que dar a volta por cima sozinho.

E um grande espaço de tempo se passa desde então. Ele faz alguma terapia milagrosa e melhora, q!Cellbit reencontra os q!Tazercraft no navio mas eles ainda mantém essa relação de desconfiança de anos atrás. Ele também tem q!Felps para confiar agora e conhece q!Forever, nada é o mesmo que anos antes.

q!Cellbit reencontra q!Badboyhalo, seu companheiro de guerra. Dois veteranos machucados que passaram pelo inferno na vida antes e depois de tudo, que se separaram. Onde q!Badboyhalo vê aquele adolescente já crescido, cheio de cicatrizes, olheiras e traumas e pensa "O que aconteceu com você durante todo esse tempo?".

E me dói muito pensar que apenas agora q!Cellbit encontrou a felicidade e confiança que sempre procurou. Que sendo enfiado a força nessa ilha onde ele foi torturado, enganado pela federação várias vezes; sequestrado; teve partes das suas memórias apagadas do tempo que ele trabalhou ali; sofreu por ter quebrado a sua família na época da traição; foi só nessa maldita ilha que ele conseguiu encontrar pessoas para amar e confiar.

q!Cellbit ama a sua família e faria de tudo por ela. Ele ama o seu filho ao ponto de cogitar desistir de tudo só para que ele tenha um futuro melhor do que ele mesmo teve; ama seu Guapito, que tem sua plena confiança e amor incondicional ao ponto de quase ter uma recaída quando seu relacionamento foi ameaçado.

Seu Guapito, que foi sua âncora. Aquele que confiou e defendeu ele quando todos estavam contra, aquele que lhe deu suporte para tudo o que fizesse. Aquele que q!Cellbit errou, mas foi perdoado e tenta ser alguém melhor todos os dias para não falhar mais.

q!Forever, que confia TANTO nele ao ponto de nem ter interesse de saber uma informação se aquilo por sua família em risco. Aquele que mesmo depois de ouvir tanta merda saindo da boca de q!Cellbit, ainda assim tinha uma ponta de esperança de que era tudo mentira por confiar nele.

q!Tazercraft, que o perdoou mesmo depois de tudo o que ele fez. Depois de ele ter matado o seu amigo, que ajudam ele pois sabem que família é tudo que eles tem.

q!Felps, que é a pessoa que ele mais conhece. Seu melhor amigo, que fez ele ir ao inferno só para achá-lo.

É nessa ilha, com códigos, com uma organização cruel que manipula a todos, com entidades e mistérios inacreditáveis, que ele pode finalmente ter uma vida normal. Ele finalmente pode acordar e tomar um café com seu filho e seu marido, q!Cellbit finalmente pode apenas ficar construindo seu castelo e fazer coisas que ele nunca pôde como um piquenique simples com os outros ovos da ilha.

E quando ele falou para o q!Forever que "Eu não tenho ninguém fora dessa ilha, todo mundo que eu amo está aqui" ele estava certo. Mesmo que estivesse fingindo para se infiltrar, essa frase era totalmente verdade. q!Cellbit não tem ninguém fora da Ilha Quesadilha, ele não tem para quê querer sair dela.

Mas mesmo assim, tudo o que ele quer é que as pessoas que ele mais ama sejam livres. E é isso que eu mais amo nesse personagem. Eu amo como ele sofreu tanto, como ele viu o pior das pessoas e mesmo assim quer o melhor para elas.

Eu amo como ele é falho, como ele faz merda e reconhece. E mesmo quando ele não reconhece e tenta amenizar, para mim isso só faz dele ainda mais real. q!Cellbit é cheio de falhas e cheio de amor, é compreensível, é preocupado com os seus.

q!Cellbit é humano.

[persevereforahappyending]

Maybe in Another Life |14|

Pairing: Clarisse La Rue x Hunter of Artemis!Reader

Summary: You are a Hunter of Artemis, but you start to question what you truly want when you meet Clarisse and get to know her.

Warnings: Language, Slight The Last Olympian Spoilers

Word Count: 2.3k+

Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist

ch. 1 | ch. 2 | ch. 3 | ch. 4 | ch. 5 | ch. 6 | ch. 7 | ch. 8 | ch. 9 | ch. 10 | ch. 11 | ch. 12 | ch. 13 | ch. 14 | ch. 15 | ch. 16 | ch. 17

You and the Hunters ran through the woods making your way to New York. Luke and Kronos had begun their attack, but there weren’t enough demigods to hold them off. Luke had his own demigods on his side and hordes of monsters. Artemis was away with the other gods fighting somewhere else, away from Olympus, just like Kronos wanted. As you got closer to the city you all came to a stop on Thalia’s order.

“This is as far as you go,” she said, turning to you.

“What?” You asked, furrowing your brow.

“I have another mission for you.”

“You can’t be serious,” you complained, rolling your eyes. “You need my help. Look at that,” you pointed to the city. You were barely on the outskirts of the city; you wouldn’t have been able to see much on a normal day but on this day, you could see hordes of monsters making their way into the city, there had to be thousands of them, out numbering the demigods a hundred to one.

“This is more important.”

“What could possibly be more important?”

You had been at Thalias side for over a year now, she never led you down the wrong path before. Thalia was clever and always did what was best in the moment. Logically you knew Thalia wouldn’t split you off form the others unless it was truly important. The end of the world was right in front of you though, you couldn’t imagine anything more important than trying to prevent it.

“Clarisse,” Thalia said simply. You furrowed your brow, out of all the things, you never imagined Thalia saying that. “She and the rest of Ares cabin refuse to join the fight,” she rolled her eyes.

“Why?” Clarisse was always the first to join a fight, you were all literally at war, she should have been out there and wanting to be the first one to be on the front lines. You hadn’t talked to her all week because of the preparations, you all knew the fight was coming.

“I don’t know something to do with a chariot,” Thalia rolled her eyes again. “I as much as it pains me,” she swallowed as if it quite literally pained her to say the words. “We need Ares cabin; we don’t stand a chance without them. So, I need you to convince Clarisse to put her pride aside end join the fight.”

“She won’t listen to me,” you sighed. You hadn’t argued with Clarisse about much, but you knew when she was against something, especially when it came down to her pride, she refused to back down.

“You’re the only one that stands a chance at getting through to her.” You sighed; you knew that was true. Clarisse listened to very few people, you, Silena, and her father, that was about it, she argued with anyone else. “Once you convince her, come join us in the fight.”

“Understood,” you nodded. You and Thalia gripped forearms, giving a firm shake, before Thalia ordered the other Hunters to continue forward. You watched them go, before taking off in another direction.

You made your way to camp as quickly as possible. When you finally crossed the threshold, you were taken aback at how empty it was. Everyone was off, fighting, only a few stragglers left to defend the camp or people who couldn’t be in battle. You didn’t have to look too hard for Clarisse because you heard her yelling at the rest of her siblings pretty much once you stepped into camp.

You made your way down the hill, headed straight for the Ares cabin. When the cabin finally came into view you saw Silena storming out of the cabin, rolling her eyes as she let the door slam shut behind her. You continued your path towards the Ares cabin, it seemed you were in for a fun conversation. Silena nearly ran into you when your paths crossed.

“Oh,” Silena said, looking up when she realized she almost ran into you. “Hey,” she smiled. She quickly pulled you into a hug, which you were quick to reciprocate. Silena had become a good friend, but you hadn’t seen her in over a year. “What are you doing here?” she asked when she pulled away.

“I was sent to convince the Ares cabin to join the fight,” you answered.

 Silena scoffed, looking back at the closed door. “Goodluck with that.”

You let out a knowing hum. You knew you had your work cut out for you before coming but given that Silena was storming away from the cabin, things were much more dire than you imagined. You took a good look at Silena, noticing that underneath the perfect hair and the makeup were dark circles under her eyes.

“I-I heard about Beckendorf,” you whispered, clearing your throat. Silena blinked away a few tears. You knew what it was like losing a sister, what it was like losing friends, you had no idea what it was like to lose a love though. “I’m sorry.”

“Charlie and I,” Silena whispered, giving a sad smile. “We were lucky. Not many of us are lucky that way,” Silena wiped away a stray tear that had begun to fall. You looked down, it was true, you might have been with the Hunters, but you were well aware of what life was like for a demigod, what a short life the majority of them lived. “When we do, we got to hold onto it as long as we can.” You looked up at Silena, meeting her eyes before quickly looking away, only for your eyes to land on Clarisse storming out of her cabin, followed by Chris who seemed to be pleading at her. “Good luck,” she whispered before running off.

You turned, watching as she made her way back to the Aphrodite cabin. You looked back at the Ares cabin, seeing Clarisse glaring off across camp, her arms crossed as she seemed to refrain from punching Chris in the face. You could only guess Chris was also pleading with Clarisse to join the fight, though you weren’t sure why he wasn’t out there fighting as well. You sighed as you continued to make your way to the cabin.

You silently approached Clarisse, listening as Chris begged her to join the fight. Chris turned his head, doing a double take before his eyes finally landed on you. “If you won’t listen to me or Silena, maybe you’ll listen to someone else,” he mumbled before walking away from Clarisse. Clarisse turned around, furrowing her brow at his words but her eyes quickly widened when they met yours.

Chris stopped before he walked past you. “I wanted to thank you,” he said. “Clarisse told me you were with her when I was found, and you helped her.”

“It was nothing,” you said, offering a kind smile. “I merely punched you in the face.”

Chris chuckled at that. “Yes,” he nodded. “Most of that time is fuzzy, but that I remember, at least my face remembers,” he ran his hand across the spot you had punched when you knocked him out. “Either way, good luck,” he nodded towards Clarisse, glancing back at her one last time. “You’ll need it.”

You smiled, nodding to yourself as you approached Clarisse. “What are you doing here?” Clarisse asked, before glaring back out across the camp.

“No, hello?” you asked, leaning your arms on the porch railing as you looked off across the camp as well. There were no campers out training or playing, the two of you were just looking at a lovely view of the forest.

“I figured you’d have more important matters than visiting me.”

“I’ll have you know,” you glanced at her out of the side of your eye. “I was giving specific orders to come here.” Clarisse let out a scoff. “I’m serious, I am meant to convince you to come join the fight.”

Clarisse scoffed again, barking out a laugh. “Thalia really thinks I’ll listen to you?” she turned towards you, crossing her arms with her usual arrogant smile.

You turned your head, raising your eyebrow in challenge. Clarisse rolled her eyes. “I don’t know what happened,” you started slowly. “But are you really so proud you refuse to join a fight that would literally save our world?”

“If the Apollo cabin had just admitted the Ares cabin deserved the chariot-”

“This is about a chariot?” you interrupted. Clarisse snapped her mouth shut, clenching her jaw, but remained quiet. “Are you serious? Your friends are dying out there!”

“I don’t have friends.”

“All because of a fucking chariot?”

Clarisse took a step back at your outburst. “I thought Hunters weren’t supposed to swear.”

You clenched your jaw, glaring at her. “That’s not technically a rule.”

Clarisse smirked, nodding her head. “I refuse to let Apollo cabin disrespect me, my siblings, my father,” Clarisse said, her voice kind but determined. “I won’t allow it.”

“Who cares about a stupid chariot?” you rolled your eyes. “Is fighting for your friends, for the camp,” you gestured widely, “for the world, not honorable enough?” You rolled your eyes. “You pride yourself on being a daughter of war and yet you stand here, refusing to fight.” Clarisse still had her jaw clenched as her eyes fell to the floor.

“It’s not that easy,” she said but her head was still facing down at the floor.

“Of course it is!” you threw your arms in the air. “I know you care,” you tried pleading with her. “The Ares cabin is crucial in this fight, we need them,” you reached out, gripping her hand without thinking about it. “You are needed.”

Clarisse finally looked up, staring into your eyes. Her gaze flicked down, and you followed, noticing her hand in yours finally. Despite every part of your mind telling, you to pull away, you didn’t. You gripped her hand tighter, stepping closer as you stared into her eyes.

“Everyone of us matters in this fight,” you spoke softly. “My sisters are out there fighting and yet,” you sighed, letting out a humorless chuckle. “I am here because Thalia knows you and Ares cabin joining the fight is necessary. We don’t stand a chance without you.”

Clarisse swallowed nervously, though you weren’t sure if it was nerves from the truth of your words or your closeness. “You sure think highly of Ares cabin,” she finally said, attempting to keep her voice steady and keep the usual arrogance in her tone.

You rolled your eyes. “I do not lose,” you couldn’t keep the arrogance out of your tone. “Therefore, I know what it takes to win, and I know that for this war to be won, we need Ares cabin in the fight.”

Clarisse opened her mouth to respond but the two of you were interrupted by someone running down the hill towards the cabin, screaming Clarisse’s name. You looked past Clarisse, furrowing your brow. “Is that-”

“Chris,” Clarisse interrupted you, rolling her eyes.

“Clarisse!” Chris continued to yell, running full speed down the hill, you were surprised he didn’t somehow trip and end up tumbling down the hill. “Clarisse!”

“What?” Clarisse snapped, moving to the stairs so she could meet Chris.

Chris came to a quick stop just before the steps, nearly falling over from the abrupt stop to his running. Chris rested his hand on the railing as he gasped for breath. He began gesturing, pointing back towards the top of the hill but no words left his mouth.

“What happened?” you asked, going down the few steps to rest a hand on Chris’s back, trying to help him calm down enough to speak.

“Silena,” he gasped out, looking up at Clarisse desperately.

You furrowed your brow looking up at Clarisse to see her just as confused as you. Before either of you could question Chris any further both your gazes snapped to the sky as you saw a chariot take off, followed by several more chariots, all of them waving the flag of Ares behind them.

“What happened?” Clarisse demanded, gripping Chris by the collar, lifting him up to eye level.

“I tried to stop her,” Chris whispered. “She knew it was the only way to get the cabin to follow her.” Clarisse’s eyes widened, looking back up at the sky as the chariots got further away before carelessly releasing Chris and taking off towards the stables.

You didn’t have time to question Chris further before taking off after Clarisse. You had no idea what was going on but clearly Clarisse had figured out something you hadn’t yet. The only thing you were confident in was that Silena had stolen a chariot, somehow convincing the rest of the Ares cabin to ignore Clarisse’s orders and follow her to the fight.

You heard Chris panting as he ran after you and Clarisse. You got there just as Clarisse was getting the chariot ready. You jumped onto the chariot, pulling Chris aboard before Clarisse could take off without either of you. Clarisse grabbed the reins, and the chariot took off before anyone could question her.

You gripped the edge of the chariot, you glanced at Clarisse seeing the determined look in her eyes. This wasn’t how you intended things to go, and you were worried about your friend, but at least Clarisse seemed to be headed to the battlefield. As you got closer to the fight, the clash of swords and the screams of battle, from both demigods and monsters, filled your ears. You pulled out your bow, tightening your grip as you prepared yourself for what was to come. It had been a long time since you were in a fight anything close to what you were flying into, even with the uneasiness that began to fill you, you knew that no matter the outcome of this war, it wouldn’t be pretty.

Taglist: @cxcilla @danonered @touchmyfracturedomens @luclue @manu-007s-world @death-in-love @nenas19 @mynameiskaci @fictionalwhor3

[suzukiblu]

this is a question that is not meant to come off as judgemental, and if it does i apologise and you don’t have to answer

for you, or anyone out there in the world if they see this,

What is the appeal of (the?) Omegaverse?

Ive never quite gotten it? And it might be the big bold orange, blue and white letters spelling out aroace, or being european, younger than most people who are knowledgeable about that particular genre of content (still 18+) and while I did get on the internet at 11, I didn’t start reading fanfic until 14-15

this is a long and rambly ask so I just want to clarify, this is a genuine question I would like an answer to, no matter how short and sweet, or long and convoluted it may be

It's all good, I don't mind getting questions! And, like, I've written a LOT of omegaverse, so it's a thoroughly relevant question to this blog, haha.

. . . and this definitely wound up long and convoluted. So like, yeah, we are SO gonna need a read-more here, friend. 😅

Obviously everyone's gonna have their own reasons for liking the genre, but as another (much older, I'm assuming) aroace, for me the appeal is the opportunity to use the tag "Fantasy Gender Roles". Like, there's other stuff there, def, but "Fantasy Gender Roles" is my favorite part. Omegaverse is a game where the rules are made-up and the points don't matter, and you can interpret and re-interpret the involved sexes and genders however the heck you wanna, and in fact are ENCOURAGED to. I also really like certain tropes that are common to the genre, like pack dynamics and breeding kink and having babies and feral behavior and courting/courting rituals, I just really enjoy playing with and reading about all of those.

Also, the worldbuilding. I get to do ✨GENDER-BASED WORLDBUILDING✨.

And obvi, like, some people are just into omegaverse for the kink/porn factor, which is totally fair, but personally I am here for ✨GENDER-BASED WORLDBUILDING✨. And then also the kink/porn. Generally speaking a recurring comment I've gotten from a lot of readers is "I literally hate omegaverse but I love yours", so a lot of my stuff is allegedly a decent jumping-on point for the genre if you're looking for that. Like, I'm not the only person who writes omegaverse the way I do, obviously, just I'm a pretty accessible one who's written a LOT of it.

( and in the event you DO want any jumping-on omegaverse recs from my stuff, I'mma just pop a few of them from various fandoms here. no DC-related ones 'cuz I don't have any of those currently on AO3, only scattered in my WIP tags, but hopefully something helpful will be in here. )

original fic

to the victor go the spoils - human omega OMC/dragon [ GENDER NOT FOUND ] OMC; 16.7k; explicit Fantasy AU. This one includes porn but honestly the heart of it is just one of those fairy tales where the protagonist is somehow both incredibly genre-savvy in their story and yet still a total fucking idiot about other people's feelings, and especially considering it's original fic, it is honestly one of the most popular things I've ever posted, hah.

The dragon arrived early in the morning, and by noon the entire village was in a panic in the town hall. No one in the village knew anything about dragons, aside from what they’d heard in fairy tales and stories, and the plans for dealing with it were about that level of sophisticated.

“We’re not sacrificing a virgin to the dragon,” Viktor said in exasperation.

“Well what would YOU do?!” the mayor demanded.

“I’m going to go talk to it,” Viktor said reasonably, and got up from his seat and went to do just that.

.

Avatar: The Last Airbender

does the pain feel better when I'm around? - beta!Sokka/omega!Zuko, beta!Sokka/beta!Suki, past alpha!Mai/omega!Zuko, polyamory; 3k; teen Societal dynamics-focused fic. Zuko goes into heat at the Western Air Temple immediately after the Boiling Rock happens and goes off to den down alone and stay out of everyone's way without realizing that the local betas are gonna lose their ever-lovin' MINDS about that.

“Cool,” he says. “You realize we’ve been looking for you for, like, two HOURS, right?”

“Why?” Zuko asks, sounding confused, which is kind of sad.

“Because the world is full of people who wanna kill you and you didn’t bother telling anyone where you were going?” Sokka says. “Obviously?”

“Oh.” Zuko falls silent. Sokka glances moonwards in supplication. Yue save him from dumb, dumb firebenders.

every act of communication is a miracle of translation - alpha!Mai/omega!Zuko; 5.7k; teen Post-series fic where Mai and Zuko are about to spend their first cycle together and they're both really awkward about working out how it should go. Not actually a sequel to "does the pain feel better when I'm around?", but you could definitely draw a relationship between 'em.

They leave the office, Mai pretending that all her senses aren’t full of Zuko’s warm, spicy scent, and he keeps looking worried. She wonders if it’s THIS he’s worried about, now that she’s thinking about it. They agreed they’d share their next cycles together, but again, they haven’t really talked about it.

They can talk about it now, Mai thinks.

Unfortunately, that means now they actually have to talk about it.

.

Overwatch

even if I do I don't, even if I could I won't - omega!Genji/beta!the-character-who-was-at-the-time-I-wrote-this-fic-known-as-McCree; 5.1k; explicit Blackwatch-era fic where Genji did not fill out his heat partner designation forms and "Fuck or Suffer Unspecified Health Consequences" is gonna make that a problem. Worldbuilding, assisted negotiation, a touch of workplace-influenced pack dynamics, and porn.

“Yeah, you’re hilarious, kid,” Gabe says. “Get back to work. And Shimada, call your heat partner and we’ll see you next week.”

Shimada’s shoulders tense. Gabe . . . pauses.

“Shimada,” he says slowly. “PLEASE tell me you have a heat partner on base.”

“I have a heat partner on base,” Shimada lies. Gabe and Jesse both stare at him, then Gabe calls up his file, takes one look at it, and starts cursing.

don't, don't, don't let's start (I've got a weak heart) - alpha!Genji/omega!the-character-who-was-at-the-time-I-wrote-this-fic-known-as-McCree; 17.3k; explicit Blackwatch-era fic about Genji and the character formerly known as McCree dealing with their complicated feelings about each other and also the cybernetics and trauma and physical disabilities that are fucking up their sex life, including ED.

“You busy?” he asks. Genji stares at him in bemusement, which is fair. Genji’s only ever busy when they’re on a mission or he’s in the middle of an upgrade. “Dumb question. My heat’s coming on, wanna do me a favor?”

“What favor?” Genji asks, still looking mystified. Jesse tries not to laugh at him.

“The obvious one,” he says meaningfully, tipping his hat back and raising his eyebrows at him. Genji looks no less mystified for a moment, then startles. “THERE we go."

.

Marvel Cinematic Universe

come hang (let's go out with a bang) - omega!Darcy Lewis/omega!Johnny Storm; 5k; teen Darcy almost dies again, tries to figure out which omega buys the courting gifts in an omega/omega relationship, and has her first date with a super-hot superhero.

“Was there traffic?” Jane asks.

“I have a date with Johnny Storm,” Darcy says.

“What?” Jane says.

“Oh, and I almost died again,” Darcy says, pulling out Jane’s papers for her. “But that’s kind of secondary.”

“WHAT?!”

pack up, don't stray (oh say say say) - alpha!Natasha + polyamory; 3.4k; teen Natasha collects a harem pack and Captain America is fucking difficult about it.

Natasha is an alpha on a mission, and that mission is simple and clear.

I said you're holding back, she said shut up and dance with me - alpha!Peggy/omega!Steve/omega!Bucky; 10.3k; mature Alternate timeline where Steve and Bucky don't "die" and they all run away from the States to get married and start a family. Illegal adoption and biokids and lowkey pack dynamics involving figuring out how to fold pups into their lives, oh my!! And also, they all get to dance.

“One alpha mating two omegas? Really, Steve?” Peggy asks, mouth quirking wryly. “What WOULD the newsreels say?”

“We’ll go to France,” Steve says. “No one will care in France.”

“I do love France,” she muses.

oh don't you dare hold back, just keep your eyes on me - alpha!Darcy/omega!Bucky, polyamory; 187.4k; explicit MY MAGNUM OPUS, MY WHITE WHALE, THE LITERAL REASON OMEGAVERSE TOOK OVER HALF MY BLOG FOR HALF MY STINT IN MCU FANDOM. I wanted a goddamn female alpha and I wanted that female alpha to be Darcy Lewis, and Bucky was my fave blorbo at the time so the inevitable happened. The inevitable happened for three and a half years and 187,430 words, to be more precise.

Darcy is thirty feet out of Stark-cum-Avengers Tower when she starts craving cinnamon rolls--the sticky-sweet iced-up old-fashioned kind, yummy and messy and dripping gooshy icing all over your mouth and hands and down your yuuuup, yup, that is a super, super fertile omega that she is smelling, holy SHIT is it ever.

“Jesus Christ,” she groans in frustration, then follows her alpha instincts (and, more easily and importantly, her NOSE) to go track them down. They’re in the middle of New York City; middle of the day or not, not checking on somebody who smells like THAT is, like, the ultimate dick move.

.

OKAY SELF THAT'S ENOUGH LINKS, WE MOVE ON NOW, haha.

I will also say, if you're interested in, like, gender-exploratory AU concepts, apiary genders might be more your thing and more easily accessible for you? It's a MUCH newer thing than omegaverse and really only has a few fics around, some of which are linked in the "inspired by" of that AO3 primer linked above, but the concept is a bit more strongly "hive"-based than a lot of omegaverse is "pack"-based, and also there's no physical differences from baseline. I've got a WIP or two going about apiary myself, actually, but I haven't gotten too far into them yet, alas. The only one I've posted anything from is this one Superbat one.

[abrakuxas]

Should I do a part 2 with Lilith, Mal, Gnarrk Karen and Duela?

Hey, it's the Teen Titans!

My iteration of the fab5 with both Donna's costumes

Current headcanons of this version:

- Dick Grayson | Robin (14): mostly the same but I'd say he kinda forced Bruce to accept him. Bruce kept saying he would deal with Zucco with his billionaire influence but Dick would not accept it, telling Bruce he can and would escape the mansion to take revenge. When Bruce noticed Dick would end up in the same path as him, he decided it would be best to guide him through it and that having an adult around to help him do it right is better than letting him do it alone with no training and Dick would 100% do it alone if necessary.

- Wally West | Kid Flash (14): I'll be honest, I don't think I have any relevant or little difference in my head for Wally. Mostly because I haven't read him outside of Titans comics and I think he's cool there. He starts off a little annoying but then he drops off and as Flash he is just a great friend to Dick and everyone so idk?? Not enough knowledge about him.

- Garth | Aqualad (13): My immediate headcanon for Garth is him already being able to use hydrokinesis. I feel like he'd be the youngest and least experienced of them along with Donna as both of them came from other places and are still learning about other cultures and all that. He has particular beef with Roy who mocks his whole dependency of water thing but he comes to learn that Roy is just trying to feel better about his insecurity as Garth is not only capable of doing magic but also being raised underwater means he is actually very very strong while Roy feels shooting arrows makes him the weakest member of the group so messing with the youngest kid, the fish out of water makes him feel more powerful. I'd say Garth and Donna would be easy friends as they know about each other's culture far more. Garth is also the wisest and calmest of them, I'd say but when he does get angry it's a very scary thing as his magic powers are no joke.

- Donna Troy | Wonder Girl (14): Donna Troy is a mystery. She's not the only child in Themyscira as Amazons here are quite capable of having children with each other (hello, DC comics, you don't need to make them r*pists if your canonize trans Amazons. They can literally just have women centered pregnancies without magic or abusing men for it), but Donna was adopted by none other than Queen Hippolyta. As far as she knows, Wonder Woman saved her from a burning building but after never finding her parents and sensing something different about her, she decided to take her back home where they found out Donna is not only quite similar to Amazons, but quite similar to Diana specifically... But Donna is NOT an Amazon, nor a clone. Donna was created by the Titans of myth, from clay to life, just as Diana once was, she was named Troia by them as she was designed to work similarly as the Trojan Horse, infiltrating the Amazons and eventually growing into their champion to destroy the gods and free them from Tartaros. What they did not expect is that Donna would follow Diana's footsteps and go to men's world in her younger years where she would meet her best friends and learn not to be a warrior but a human girl. She is a great fighter, of course, the strongest of the team, she became fast friends with them and even thought at first they could even be demigods: Aqualad had power over water and came from Poseidon's Atlantis, Kid Flash ran like Hermes, Robin was a strategist as Athena and that Speedy boy? His bow and arrow and handsomeness could only be taken from Apollo, right? It took a while for Donna to learn about humanity and teenagers but she fell in love with that world, even developing her own sense of style and fashion, changing a lot from the Amazon warrior into a teenage girl. A superhero teenage girl. (Maybe I'll develop this more with her transformation into Troia later down the line)

- Roy Harper | Speedy (15): My biggest headcanon is that Roy's mother (who as far as I know we have no info about) was Navajo and died in childbirth. Roy's dad raised him until dying saving Brave Bow and Brave Bow took Roy and raised him knowing who his mother was. I'd just like to make him a little bit less of the white guy raised by natives trope that lots of golden age comics did for some reason. Well, Roy here was not much different, eventually being adopted by Ollie and training with him and Dinah. In the Team, Roy is the rival to Dick. He is flirty, a showoff and wants really bad to be a badass not only to impress Donna but to come on top of Robin as he feels GA and Batman are rivals and so should they as the only regular humans on the team and at points he even denies being part of the Titans, only being at the same place at the same time. After his insecurities and anxieties take him to a dangerous path and conflict with Ollie, he learns to warm to the Titans as friends and family after they take care of him and don't judge him, trying their best to help and understand him.

What do you guys think? :)

[victoriadallonfan]

You see Victoria being labeled as a potential Tyrant by Fragile One get brought up sometimes and there are plenty of discussions about her character traits itself could evolve that way… but less so for the actual plot/events go within Ward itself at the time as for what could have gone wrong/what Vicky could have done in the confines of Ward in particular if she went that way? It begs the question what future/events in was Fragile One seeing/thinking could happen?

As the numero uno Victoria understander I’m curious if you’ve thought on it/spotted those potential points of divergence in the text?

That's really what arc 13, 14, and 15 were all about.

Arc 12 primed us with Victoria having a panic attack when Jessica refuses to answer her calls when she needed her most, and Fragile One noting that she could lift Victoria up if she abandoned her morals to enforce her will. Even prior to this, arc 9 had the first thing Goddess offer Victoria was a small country to rule as its leader (and the alignment made Victoria see Goddess as a mentor figure), and arc 8 had Carol warn Victoria to not act as a tyrant and try to impress her will upon the people. Arc 13 has Victoria come face to face with the consequences of her actions in the form of the Exile world, where the villains on the level of Mama Mathers or Cradle are secretly (sort of?? The court and Judges seem to be aware of it??) sent off world to live in the wilderness with camping supplies until they are found legible for parole. It is a dark and heavy scene, with Victoria even putting on a dark mask to emulate Blind Justice that hides her expression.

Except 2 things challenge Victoria: Drillbit and Colt. Victoria does not believe Drillbit should be exiled and says that it feels wrong, but she is paralyzed by what to do, because she doesn't know how else to handle someone who is routinely a danger to others. Drillbit takes this out of her hands and goes through it of his own will, but it bothers her nonetheless.

Colt, however, is a child. She did some pretty shitty things even before she got powers (like trying to help villains kidnap Kenzie) and more after, but she was only 13 AND we know - as does Victoria soon after - that her mind has been damaged by her Shard (quite literally, her interlude describes her Shard as destroying parts of herself). Seeing Colt, and perhaps galvanized by her issues with Drillbit, Victoria says she wants to help Colt and prevent her from the Exile sentencing and tries various roundabout means of doing so (including getting Jessica onto defending Colt's mental state).

Furthermore, Victoria finds her new mask a hindrance. Many times, she remarks that she hates how it hides her expression and makes her feel disconnected from people. She ultimately abandons it even, when she appeals to the supervillains of Earth N in a very human way, and never wears it again.

The rest of the arc also has Victoria slowly have a mental breakdown as Teacher's machinations harms her relationship with Jessica permanently, makes her paranoid about what Kenzie thinks of her, makes her see the worst of heroes and villains, and feels as though all the hard work she's put in saving the city has been for nothing. By the end of arc 13, she is a bawling mess who is desperate for any way to feel like she has done something good, which leads to her helping give Sveta a humanoid body.

Arc 14 follows 13 pretty much directly, with Victoria both faking and not faking how upset she is with the public that they fell for Teacher's manipulations, but also that people like Gary Nieves are victim blaming and helping engage terrorists in gaining power. Much of the debate between her, her team, and Gary is representative of how Victoria wants to connect with the public, convince them with facts and explanations, but feels as though there is a deep divide between what they want and what is reality. She even darkly considers simply ignoring them and their complaints forever.

However her stay at Shin and being abused by their jail and government, at the threat of them killing millions of innocent people, has her realize that she doesn't believe she could just ignore them. That if worse came to worse, she'd sacrifice her own well-being and endure this abuse and her rapists machinations for the betterment of others.

Arc 15 is actually pretty simple in how it shoves Victoria's in a face to face conflict with a real tyrant: he is someone who has taken over a planet, has enforced his will upon others, and is convinced that only he has the right answers. She is around to hear other characters discuss how lifeless and without any human care his own buildings are. He treats people as disposable tools and weapons, forcing Victoria to commit grisly killings and see the deaths of hundreds of good people and even more that were mind-controlled. Her own teammates are broken mentally, crippled, and a potential love interest killed by the epitome of Tyranny.

I think this is pretty much where Victoria abandons all potential of putting herself "in charge" so to speak, and the Tyrant possibility is put to bed forever. There is no more allure, consciously or subconsciously. All she associates with the idea is pain, death, and grief.

I think if one was to consider and genuinely want to write Tyrant Victoria, one needs to have her be taken away from seeing Drillbit, from interacting with Colt, feeling frustrated with how much her darker changes get in her own way, and from being in Shin and realizing how much she values people having free-will over her own desires.

If none of this happens, I could see a Victoria who - when fighting Teacher - would think that if she was in his position, SHE would be doing better. That she could fix the system by herself, get rid of all the bad people, and do the Right Thing.

She could become Goddess, in that scenario.

[thalialunacy]

[for the @calaisreno May Promptnation, which is turning out to be like NaNo but with way less stress]

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) 10: choice (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) (18) (19) (20) (21) (22) (23) (24) (25) (26) (27) (28) (29) (30) (31)

Their lives have never been predictable. Which, in some ways, has made them very predictable, John thinks as he stops Sherlock in the hallway with a hand on the sleeve of his dressing gown. 'Hey,' he says, voice quiet. 'Come here.'

Sherlock raises an eyebrow, but doesn't hesitate to lean down and let John kiss him, thoroughly. Maybe even twice.

'Great, thanks,' John says roughly afterwards, backing away. 'I've got work now.'

He really should have known, from the start, that they'd have to steal moments for this out of the chaos they live in.

'Not your babysitter,' Mrs Hudson sings the next day as she holds Rosie's hands down the stairs. 'But I've got applesauce jelly with her name on it. And I'll change her nappy while I'm at it, won't I?' The last is said to Rosie, obviously, who is very focused on the stairs.

John, in turn, is focused somewhere else as well. 'We've got ten minutes,' he says, already out of his chair. 

'Eight and a half,' Sherlock corrects, pulling John to him and capturing his mouth easily. John is tempted, so tempted, to let it go too far, but his prefrontal cortex is fully developed now, unlike the last time he felt this sort of heady gut-lust.

Maybe it's because Sherlock is a man, but he hasn't experienced a sense of newness this acute since being in school. And he'd thought, because he knows Sherlock in every other way it is possible to know a person, that this added dimension would feel--normal. Comfortingly similar. Would slot into their lives unnoticeably.

Decidedly not, John accepts some days and a solved case later, just before his backside hits the kitchen table. They've got a few more stolen moments while Rosie's napping on the sofa, and he's determined to make the most of them.

At Sherlock's urging, he lifts himself up onto the table's cluttered surface, then grabs at Sherlock's face to bring him back into the kiss. He spreads his knees without a thought and feels enveloped by heat as Sherlock moves further in between them. He fits around Sherlock perfectly, and it feels like--

It feels like lacing his fingers together with the other thumb in front, or crossing his arms with the other hand dominant. It feels like his own body still, yes, his skin heating up and his lungs pressing for air, but from a literal whole new perspective.

And he wants more of it. 'Do you think,' he murmurs in between kisses, 'that you'd want to be the one--' He pauses as Sherlock bites at his jaw. 'The one in charge?'

Sherlock pulls back enough to give him a look. 'Are you struggling through your English modesty to ask me if I'd like to top?'

John's neck flushes further, and he's pretty sure now it's both from arousal and embarrassment. Which is also new; he's said plenty more graphic things to women without hesitation, but apparently all bets are off when it comes to Sherlock. 'Yeah,' he says firmly. 'Yes.'

'I'd assumed you'd want to be the one doing that.'

'Wait, though-- you've done this before…?'

Sherlock's mouth quirks up. 'Subtle as always, John. Yes, I have. But not with you, do you understand? I want whatever you want. Quite literally.'

John swallows. 'And vice versa. I'm not new-- I mean, to the whole idea--'

'I'm very aware,' Sherlock retorts. And of course he is, aware of both John's various partners over the years and also of his, well, solo habits.

'Alright,' John says dryly. 'Rein it in, detective.' He sobers, hoping he doesn't have to go into detail. 'But this feels… different. And I want you to--to show me everything, to do everything you want.'

Sherlock, as he should have expected, takes this as a sort of delightful challenge. 'Well, then, we are at a bit of a stalemate, aren't we?'

John smirks, relief seeping through. 'Flip a coin?' he says, tightening his thighs, ready to dip back into Sherlock's mouth.

But Rosie, naturally, chooses that moment to wake up, and to do so loudly. She's almost got Sherlock's name down, and she definitely can yell for John like she's getting paid for it.

John groans and leans his forehead against Sherlock's momentarily, or at least intending for it to be momentary but shortly hearing the sound of his daughter shuffling into the kitchen, dragging her favourite garishly plaid blanket behind her. 

'Perhaps we'll cut a deck of cards?' Sherlock suggests to him as they untangle.

Then the detective reaches down for Rosie, who is looking back and forth between them. 'Cards?' she repeats once she's in his arms, her tiny person pronunciation still simultaneously hilarious and brilliant. 

'Yes,' Sherlock answers matter-of-factly. 'Your father and I are trying to decide…' He looks at John, a glint in his eye John shouldn't like at all. '...who gets to have the first ginger nut.'

John chokes on his tea, the sting going into his nostrils. 'Unfair,' he says.

His daughter seems interested, which is not surprising considering she shares Sherlock's predilection for the biscuit. 'Ginger nut!' she says. 'Me too?'

'Of course,' Sherlock says amenably. 'It's time for tea, anyhow.'

John tamps down a smile, then goes in for the assist, relieving Sherlock of Rosie so the detective can rummage around in the fridge. In their current arrangement, Sherlock is in charge of keeping edible and non-edible items separated. It's a dealbreaker, John had said when they'd moved back in. And Sherlock had complied without too much fuss, much to John's continued surprise.

Though, to be honest, he half expects Rosie would be delighted to find fingers in the crisper.

When everything's on the table and Rosie's in her booster seat, John digs in his pocket and pulls out a 50p coin, flipping it over to Sherlock without warning.

Sherlock catches it, regards it, then raises an eyebrow. 'I can rig this, you know.' 

'Yes, but you won't, because my daughter is impressionable and worships you. And while you have many fine attributes, casual cheating is not one I'm interested in her inheriting.' 

'Or, erm,' Sherlock starts, fingers casually playing with the coin. 'Any.' It's not a question, but suddenly he's looking intently at John, forehead wrinkled.

John's heart squeezes as he clocks what Sherlock's actually trying to get at. 'Sherlock. Bloody hell. Of course.' He inhales harshly. 'I know I'm not-- not exactly trustworthy any more, in that arena.'

But Sherlock cuts off his self-flagellation. 'Poppycock.'

'Beg pardon?'

Sherlock shakes his head. 'You were seduced by a person who could talk someone into murder with the snap of her fingers. She is literally the most brilliant manipulator in the world, and though I hold you in high regard you in no way had the capacity to overcome that.'

The anxiety slowly eases, though he suspects he'll never fully be free of it. 'You're admitting you're not the cleverest?'

He thinks Sherlock will counter in good humour, but instead he's a bit thoughtful. 'I think that, at that level, one is somewhere in the stratosphere, separated from everyone below. I find I rather like it down here.' He smiles crookedly, genuinely, at John. 'In certain company, at least.' 

John's heart twinges. 'Well. That's.' He clears his throat. 'That's good. We rather like you down here. Most of the time.'

He breaks eye contact, instead looking at Rosie, who is happily getting banana all over her hands. He hopes the words will be sufficient. 'But I mean it.'

Sherlock's voice is quiet, fond and no-nonsense at the same time. 'I know. I know you, John Watson.'

John feels a smile slowly cross his face. 'Yeah, that's right, you'd catch me out instantly anyway. How I ended up with the one person I literally will not ever be able to keep a secret from, I've no idea. Birthdays and anniversaries are going to be very, very boring.'

Sherlock's smirk gives no doubt as to where his mind has immediately gone. 'Oh, I doubt that.'

John can tell his skin is starting to flush again. 'Speaking of… Coin flip is right out, so…?'

'Paper scissors stone?' 

'No!'

'Why not?'

'Because you'd definitely cheat at that.'

'True. Magic 8 Ball?'

'You know what a Magic 8 Ball is?'

'Had a case where it was the murder weapon.'

'What? Really?'

'Yes.' Sherlock leans in, clearly ready to share the tale while assisting Rosie with her cheerios. 

And John wants to remember this, this exact feeling of this exact moment, forever.

[❤️]

[fernandomagicalonsomanydances]

Been largely absent from Tumblr since I had to reset my phone but in preparation for the last race of the season here's my updated rating of the drivers based on how much I love and support them

1. Carlos - you are the reason I got into the sport Smooth Operator and "I ain't quitting you" even if you did decide to go to the cellar that is Williams

2. Fernando - with the Newey news hope is restored for my favorite old man to get his much deserved and long overdue 3 WDC "help me Adrian Newey you're my only hope"

3. Oscar - well with Logan and Danny gone and Checo leaving looks like you're getting adopted yet again Osco by me the American congratulations you can now claim 3 more races as "home races" because I'm claiming you as my home driver cause it sure ain't gonna be Canadian Nepo Baby

4. Esteban - oh Estie Bestie they didn't even let you say goodbye. Screw that shit show that is Alpine. Can't wait to see you take Haas to the next level with lovely Ollie Bear beside you (please don't hurt him or I will end you)

5. Max - my trauma bro for life who healed my inner child when he let his little sister Victoria put the sticker on the Redbull cooler at Qatar. You are the champion of the world and of the horror story that is your past

6. Lando - "a gentleman on and off the track" as your bro4lyfe Carlos said. I will never say anything bad about you again after how gallantly you treated Oscar. The goodest boy.

7. Franco - chaos powered by maté please don't go away. We need the heir of Sebastian's rizzardry and Senna's face to stick around

8. Charles - you can be a princess sometimes but you're my best friend's favorite princess just maybe don't act like someone pissed on your cheerios every time Carlos does better than you and please toughen up and lighten up because i don't know if I'm prepared to see BOTH Ferrari pilots be sad wet mops next year

9. Pierre - I used to think you were an arrogant little Frenchman who came off as vain but after burying the hatchet with Esteban at Brazil and then qualifying like a GOAT ever since I'm prepared to look past the past and actually like you now

10. Valterri - oh you cheeky cheeky Finn with your cheeks out everywhere, the grid won't be the same without you and if you want me to help you lock Helmut Marko in a shed so you can get that Redbull seat I'd only be too happy to help

11. Alex - sweet zookeeper I'm sorry your car is held together by scotch tape and prayers these days

12. Nico - the Just For Men hair care model that you are never change Nico... Except hopefully Audi can change the number of podiums you have

13. Yuki - feisty parkour king you deserve the seat alongside Max more than anyone else in the RB family currently and I will help you beat up Helmut Marko if that's what it takes

14. Checo - please go spend time with your family. You were great but you gotta go it's getting embarrassing leave before there's no dignity left to leave with and your successes get lost for the sour ending

15. Kevin - please use your last race in F1 to absolutely embrace the Danish Demolition Derby that you are and clear a path for Hulk's first podium and then enjoy your adorable lovely family and whatever sports you move on to next

16. Zhou - thanks for saving Sauber from the total ignominy of a big ole goose egg at the end of the year. I hope you come back cause you're such an inspiration to your country

17. George - once upon a time you were in my top 3 and then you decided chicanery was the way to take down Max. If you don't believe you can beat him on the track then admit it don't go plotting his downfall by getting him hit with penalty points for basically a non-event. I loved you but now you're just some whiny bitch I used to know

18. Lewis - you literally would have had a chance to surpass George if you too weren't being a whiny bitch Lewis. Threatening to not race the last 3! Whining before Brazil! Wanting to quit in Qatar! Are you or are you not a 7 time world champion? Freaking act like it. Regardless of whatever Toto may say you owe it to the team that brought you most of your championships to at least try. Think of Bono if you can't think of anyone else to show your appreciation by sucking it up a little bit bro

19. Lance - you are basically useless but at least your daddy's money will get my Daddy a better car since he brought Newey in with his dough

20. Liam - I was prepared to forgive you for replacing my beloved Danny Ric and then you went and acted like the biggest prick on the grid and decided it was on sight with any pilot who spoke Spanish or their teammates now at this rate. Your love for Cars cannot redeem your attitude which smells like Durian fruit.

[voidsuites]

I understand your decision about not wanting minors to interact with u, but I don’t agree there’s nothing to talk about with people under 18! I’m 14, almost 15, and I think I’m mature enough to have a normal and intelligent conversation with someone older than me. I personally do not use bots or read fanfics that are nsfw but I don’t see anything wrong with minors using or reading them (I’m talking about teenagers). Like I don’t really think there’s a big difference between a fifteen and eighteen reading this stuff. It’s just a few years that often don’t change much. But it’s just my opinion (also sorry for my English, it’s not my first language!)

i understand that— but it’s the premise of me quite literally being an adult (21) talking to you (14) that does not sit well with me? that alone is a seven-year difference, and with that comes a difference in understanding/life experiences/etc. that does affect how we interact with each other both consciously/unconsciously. i would not seek out friendships from someone who is seven years younger than me irl, and that’s honestly the same here. it’s weird, and that’s not meant to be a dig at you or anyone else. i understand the maturity part— i was the same around that age, i spent a lot of time around adults/people older than me— but i don’t feel comfortable fostering a friendship with someone that much younger than me knowing that there are others who aren’t as emotionally mature as you are. a few years to you might not mean much but to others it could make a major difference in how they conduct themselves and interact with others.

and i know it’s the internet and everyone has access to everything and everyone is going to do what they want regardless of what i say— but i’m going to do what i can do to make sure i’m not contributing to the larger problem. just because i’m generally nice/welcoming to everyone on here and do my best to make sure i conduct myself appropriately doesn’t mean others will.

at the end of the day— i’m setting a boundary that i’m asking others to respect. they don’t have to like it, but i would appreciate it if they respect my wishes on this because it probably won’t change anytime soon.