#and maybe I just have a stick up my ass
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trusting people's words is not enough , I need to be able to read their minds -
#vent#I should be normal and trust my friends when they say “I don't do x” or like my posts asserting that they won't interact with me if they-#even like x or whatever But !!!! I do not !! bc I am silly and paranoid and mentally ill sigh SIGH#(esp when ik they've done/liked it before arghhhh)#and I suppose this comes from just a combination of mental illnesses and Bad Past experiences... dealing with ppl who say "I haven't done x#- in years“ when the whole reason I had to talk to them even was bc I DIRECTLY SAW THEM DOING X bc someone else reported them#and maybe I just have a stick up my ass#it's a bit ridiculous to ask ppl not to interact with me if they even enjoy x and don't actively interact or put in on my dash#but !! id earnestly really prefer that and I wish people would fucking respect that !!!! you do not need to follow me that badly !!!!!#and im sure many of ppl would say its an awful thing to break mutuals over but like ..IDK mutuals have such a strange pedestal in fand0m-#like im so sorry but us following each other and being nice and riffing off each other occasionally is Not an automatic friendship?? u don'#me at all and we're not friends if we don't actually ever talk off of just reblog and tags and replies to art im sorry- and ill unmutual u#just as easily to keep my peace. being mutuals isn't suddenly a shield around boundaries. if u go around them like??? u actually suck I fea#not going to tag nbh bc quite honestly its about everyone but not specific people
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sweating in this heat rn
oh how i crave for an american christmas

i do not like summer ☹️ cherik save me
#charles must suffer with me#putting his pale ass in the sun watch him turn into a tomato#his head would sure look like a tomato just stick a stem on it#kinda want to reread that cherik inception fic again that was good#or maybe i should just watch inception humm#btw i think the fic name was ‘bodens mate’ fairly certain i would have to double check#guhhh you know what i’m craving smitten erik#where is he at?#MAGNETO WHERE ARE YOU#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#x men#professor x#magneto#i’ve noticed my posts have been looking like the same format lately 🤨#whats up with that#wish does not shut up
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the archives is full of gay ppl; therefor halloween is celebrated
#i love to put characters in outfits and halloween is my number one excuse#shout out to one of the best holidays on earth!!! i love you halloween i cant wait to dress up and eat candy in a few weeks#i dont think sasha made it to halloween but a guy can dream.....#my art#digital art#artists on tumblr#the magnus archives#tma#jonathan sims#martin blackwood#jonmartin#timothy stoker#sasha james#im not tagging as ship bc i dont personally believe in it but you can if you'd like <3#i like to imagine jon shows up to work in all black with a cat ear headband just like ''maybe this will keep tim off my back''#meanwhile the archives is exploding bc their boss with a permanent stick up his ass is wearing cat ears and not acknowledging it#tim goads jon into getting a better costume bc the cat ears are half assed and not in the spirit of halloween#and so for the institute's halloween office party jon shows up in complete medieval gothic clothing with plastic vampire fangs#and they have to take martin home on a stretcher bc he dies on sight. sad!
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Someone confiscate the Kabumisu Rapunzel AU from me, I am not starting a long form anything until my DPxDC novel is done but also I am ONLY capable of doing it wrong
Because:
Kabru MUST be Rapunzel. Mandatory. Milsiril is not letting that little bitch out of her tower. (Also his Main Character Energy)
Mithrun has less than zero drive to do anything ever up to and including wandering around in lonely tower infested woods to find said lost princess
These can only be resolved by Mithrun also already being inside the tower and then we’re into Beauty and The Beast territory too with the Forbidden Room but instead of Cursed Flower there is Cursed Hottie
Tbh Labrumisu would solve this problem where’s my threesome shippers we need ONE (1) character with some goddamn initiative
(Sadly still can’t be me I do not ship Laios in general he’s just not got that Ship Juice)
Milsiril just has such perfect villain vibes and okay I’m selling myself on the Labrumisu because if Laios comes in to kidnap one of her babies (and her broken former coworker) there’s a 50-50 on whether Milsiril just decides he’s young enough to adopt
This is now a main character hoarding situation Falin and Marcille have to come rescue Laios and also his boyfriends from the crazy sword elf and her army of dolls
Which is why I can’t write this one.
Look at that.
Look what happened in like 5 bullet points.
The rails have been OBLITERATED but also it’s just got such good legs someone take this idea and run with it to somewhere very different and much simpler than I am capable of
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#kabumisu#labrumisu#rapunzel au#seriously someone lock kabru in a tower#and let his bf(s) rescue him#holy shit mithrun somehow falls out the window and lands on laios#and kabru has to heist his ass back in before milsiril finds out#but oh who’s that charming and handsome man passing this wet fucking cat back through the window#maybe… maybe we leave the tower…#maybe we have an adventure… mithrun has so many stories of adventure…#(he tells them so badly with all the minor side details laios falls asleep before the first monster appears)#laios touden#kabru of utaya#kabru dungeon meshi#captain mithrun#mithrun dungeon meshi#mithrun falling out the window HAS to be kabru’s fault#he sneaks into Forbidden Room and shenanigans ensue who is this sleeping beauty#this sleeping beauty who just woke up and stared RIGHT through your fucking soul#kabru flails mithrun weighs about as much as a wet goddamn towel despite being all sinew and he’s right out the window#kabru: …………….. okay so on the one hand he can’t rat me out for being in here now#kabru: on the other hand I JUST THREW A GUY OUT THE FUCKING WINDOW WE ARE 50 STORIES UP I AM A MURDERER 😭😭😭😭#mithrun: *casual deceleration teleport*#go back inside? mithrun does not know her#he landed on a man it’s fine#laios: … it’s ACTUALLY raining men 😱😱😱#kabru sticking his head out the window: NO WAIT I NEED THAT SPECIFIC MAN BACK BEFORE MY MOM GETS HOME
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hi! seeing you during all this ep95 mess has been a breath of fresh air. you seem to have a really firm grasp of canon so I wanted to ask what you think of the recent discord message from Liam where he says Orym didn't know that Laudna was under Delilah's influence when she killed Bor'dor? I watched the clip from 4SD, & it's pretty clear that Liam says Orym understood Laudna was opening the door for Delilah when he encouraged her to kill Bor'dor & even says "we'll need that." But the Discord message seems to walk that back. It's been super frustrating being accused of vilifying Orym or infantilizing Laudna for repeating what Liam himself said. I just don't really know how to reconcile these two statements from Liam & it has me a bit confused on Orym's character.
hi anon, thank you!
this turned into a much longer one than i was expecting dfksjdkfs
so last week i posted this Really Long Ask about the whole discussion, if you want to take a look. but i intentionally didn't bring up liam's discord message because you're right! it seemed contradictory to something that was stated in the past, which was confusing
honestly i think the most realistic answer is that liam probably didn't mean for what he said on 4SD to be understood as such a strong and maybe even polarizing character choice. i think a lot of us heard it as "orym sees delilah as a useful/necessary asset that outweighs what might happen to laudna afterward." particularly because he framed it as something that made the whole situation "even creepier," and during that same convo, marisha was emphasizing the psychological impact that killing bor'dor had on laudna. it's a strong stance and it reflects what orym is doing to himself (handing his endgame over to the questionably fickle nana morri to increase their chances of success against ludinus)
but i suppose liam's clarification suggests that he meant it in a softer, more practically level-headed way, like "orym knew he couldn't do a whole lot about delilah's return but he also thought it could have benefits," or something along those lines. they're obviously two hugely different interpretations with pretty big implications on how we understand orym's relationship with laudna
i'm not a connoisseur of orym's character by ANY means so i can't confidently tell you what the change might mean from a narrative perspective, but i personally still prefer the former stronger stance. because i think it raises interesting questions about how orym views his own place in this war and whether or not it's valid for him to (intentionally or subconsciously) project that placement onto the other party members. is it okay for orym to expect the same level of personal sacrifice from laudna, or imogen with predathos (a whole separate can of worms), or anyone else? is it safe? etc etc. but maybe liam doesn't want to go in that direction, or maybe he does but just not in the way we expect, i don't know! only time will tell!
also regardless of what he meant, i think it's important to acknowledge that it's really easy and completely understandable to feel like he was walking something back. that episode of 4SD was almost a whole year ago! many of us built that statement into our perception and understanding of orym's character for a long time, so it's totally valid to go "wait what the fuck???" when liam suddenly pops into the discord to say that's not what he meant. those feelings are valid and real! especially when discourse can already make you question your own intelligence and your personal interpretations of a story, having that pillar, as big or small as it might've been in your mind, knocked over can be really jarring. you are very much not alone in that, and it's okay!!
#hope this helps?#anonymous#ask#answered#critical role#cr3#cr fandom#cr negativity#cr meta#*meta#orym cr#liam o'brien#for the record i think the wording of his discord message is super flimsy compared to what he said on 4SD#which only made it easier for me to feel like he was just sticking his nose in discourse to try and defend his character#which - during what was very clearly taking shape as an orym vs. laudna argument - made me feel like liam was shitting on my feelings#i'm OBVIOUSLY not saying that's what his intentions were but i can't logic my way out of my initial rage reaction to a discord screenshot#and it just illustrates the dangers of cast members directly involving themselves in fandom discourse#which i kinda thought the cast maybe wasn't ever ever gonna do again....after c1 reddit....after bowlgate.......etc.......#saying vaguely defensive stuff when two parts of a fandom are at each other's throats only adds fuel to the fire. it clears up fuck all#and it gives people more reasons to agree or disagree with each other and point to your vague-ass message as evidence#so really. not that you asked but. i really think he shouldn't have said it lmao. bc ppl got Even Nastier after he did#¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it's out there now! what can you do!
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jank junk June
#smth art#traditional drawing#junk journal#this is my sketchbook actually im just putting a bunch of shit in it#im trying to do more traditional art lately. its more Tactile#also i keep seeing sketchbook inspo on pinterest. tons of 'how i made my sketchbook thicc and creamy'#and its tons of beautiful sketchbooks full of busy pages of just. so much junk#and interactible stuff and stickers and stuff glued in#and im like Damn. Why Am I Not Doing That Right Now. Why Does That Seem So Hard When I Know I Can Do That#the answer is these sketchbook belong to like. high schoolers. who are drawing in them all day in school and shit.#instead of working a full time job and then coming home exhausted#if i was still a teenager i could put out that volume and level of art#and i did! but my issue is i did it on loose copy paper that i would then tape up on my walls.#so i dont have a sick ass full sketchbook like that. and i also wasnt sticking everything ever into it to make it look crazy cool#cuz that wasnt really the Thing back then afaik#as an adult i have many partially filled sketchbooks. its embarrassing.#but whatever we go on! and im trying not to be too precious with this one#maybe in a few years itll be like those fun thicc sketchbook tiktoks or whatever. for now im just getting silly with it#this page was actually full of like practice scribbles for something else before. then i put a bunch of postits and blank labels over it#and then drew over those in acrylic paint markers and micron pens#and then packing tape over all that to keep the postits in place. and a few stickers for funsies#im happy with how it turned out actually :)
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just went down a memory lane and damn I miss making Tolkien ocs so much
#maybe i should make one#as a treat#the issue now is time and motivation eh#my ass trying to set up a bonfire while having just one stick yet again
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oh my god I was thinking about a jayvik fallout new vegas AU and was like "hm maybe Viktor uploads himself into one of those robots until he can get a different body by like repurposing power armor or something idk" and then I remembered that this guy's name actually is Victor

#idk what to do with Jayce tbh its been a while since ive played this game#just thought this was a funny coincidence adjfkg#you know the brainworms have gotten real bad when im coming up with a bunch of weird ass AUs#ok i know i just said i wanna shut up about fandom things but this was in my drafts and i think it's a little funny#honestly idk if that would even work i don't know if they have the technology to transfer an entire personality to a robot?#i think they just have their own weird AIs going on and if Viktor wanted to extend his life he'd have to do the other thing#and augment himself with power armor. like that seems more in line with what would actually work within the lore#though it has been a while so there's a lot of fa/lout lore i don't remember idk#maybe he has like an emergency ai based on his personality in there but its distinctly not him and it's a creepy how uncanny it is#OR the robot is blitzcrank which would make the most sense actually idk why that wasn't my first thought#anyways i have a few ideas on what a questline with him and Jayce could look like maybe?#like Viktor is chilling with the followers of the apocalypse or whatever those were called#Jayce is maybe a field medic with the NCR? and when they go on their regular vacations to the strip he gets drunk and in a fight#somehow he ends up in freeside at the fort where the followers are and Viktor patches him up. That's how they meet#and then they bond over medical research science stuff. Now Jayce just dips out on his ncr buddies whenever they go to the strip#he just goes to freeside to hang out with Viktor. He probably also steals supplies from the ncr bc the followers have so few resources#he brings all that stuff to Viktor and they make new medicines and build cool shit that helps freeside etc#but then Viktor is dying of radiation sickness. ensue fetchquests to gather power armor parts and supplies#so he can build a new body and avoid dying yippie. maybe his backup ai and building blitzcrank from that can be like a sidequest#different sidequest would probably be Jayce getting in trouble with the ncr. and having to deal with that#idk I'm just throwing ideas at a wall and seeing what sticks. I'm having fun with it tho#maybe if my brain doesn't hate me I'll make some art for this. it's a neat little concept#this is NOT going into the tags lol. i am embarrassed about everything i say as per usual forever and always amen 🙏
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wednesday: me (punk jacket bascially consisting of patches only), my best friend (most normal-looking person ever with a flare for second-hand men's shirts) and another friend (metalhead but then a stylish red mullet and black leather jacket) just walking along
a group of weird-ass guys with no hobbies: YO THE EMO GANG
thursday: me (still punk like c'mon i'm waaaay too colourful for emo) and two literally just normal-ass looking guys just walking along the street
that same group of guys, most likely: OHH YOU'RE THE BIG HERO *something something* EMOS
literally i'm so confused?? one why do they feel the need to do that. two at least pick people who look like any alt style? like isn't it just embarrassing to call normal ass people emos for walking. like okay wednesday 2/3 looked alt but thurday? also why were they moaning. why do they think they're the hottest shit. why's the majority of (mostly cis boys but tbh it you get some from everyone) people my age so. unbearably stupid?
#the worst thing about puberty is evryone going fucking nuts#this refers to both my hormones and a solid 60% at least of people i interact with on the daily#theyre not funny. theyre offensive. they have no hobbies. they spout the stupidest shit ever#like maybe im also unfunny and say stupid stuff but at least i mind my own business#what is the appeal#THERE IS NO FUCKING REASON#THATS NOT EVEN SOME SICK ASS BURN YOURE JUST CONFUSING#im questioning if theyre human#like im mildly annoyed but not really bothered. im just. just. WHY#theyre calling random people emos and yell across the entire street. were making up a scifi world were longass stick through ur head are a#fashion trend and also the norm and think about possible consequences in architecture etc. we are not the same#a biscuit's rambles
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i have bad melted soup brain today and i hate it
#i have never really felt like just disappearing off of the face of the earth and not talking to Anyone before but i have been thinking of it#a lot today! which is wild bc not my normal isolation thought but today it seems good ahahahaha#i am just. tired. i feel like i am not listened to ever and i feel unwanted as hell lately which i know in the back of my mind i am not#unwanted but boy do it feel like that lately lol. and i’ve been back on my ‘im gonna die alone bc nobody ever will love me how i love them’#bullshit which i have Not missed but it is come back full on ! soooo fun for me hahahahahaha i love to feel miserable about being unwanted#by those around me!!!! love it sooooooooooo much weeeeeee i totally don’t wanna slam my head through a window!!!!#also just in general lately i have felt like people talking to me is a chore to them bc nobody around me has been having actual conversation#it’s all been shit ass one word or one sentence replies from everyone or they talk about what they want and not acknowledge what i said and#i don’t even know what to do about it. i just don’t even want to talk to anyone now bc i feel like they literally don’t want to speak to me#and they don’t care what i have to say clearly bc they don’t pay attention and then bring up what i said says or weeks later like i never#said anything and it’s like hm wow yeah i fucking told you about that??? maybe if you pay attention you’d have known that but it’s fine !!!!#I’m just. tired of it. i am fully understanding of everyone having lives and doing their own things they need to do. but this is like. fr#different. like it feels so much different than that and i don’t get it and i don’t know what to do !!!!!!! i feel like i’m going Nuts#anyways if any of you wanna stick me through a meat grinder i would be forever thankful and you have the rights to take anything i own after#what this boils down to is my autistic ass is like everyone is not doing their normal thing!!! everyone is off their normal talking schedule#with me!!!! this must mean they fucking want me dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!! bc they went off script/pattern and not in a way they have in the past#that indicated that they just are struggling to reach out! this is different and bad and they want you out of their life!!!!!!!#which is ridiculous but what the fuck am i to do about it bc i will be thinking this until i basically am told otherwise by these people. so#that’s soooo much fun i love brains they’re so silly i wish i could jump at a wall and stick to it until i just slowly peel off and onto the#floor. anyways. hope everyone else has a good night
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Honestly i just need reality to feel a little less fake so my brain is actually productive over making shrimp noises because i made the mistake of taking my meds every day the past two weeks because im on two flavours of reuptake inhibitors apparently. (which was fun to find out if i am being completely honest because i found out the funny way of someone else offhandedly mentioning it.) Which has been not so great really. And im all like '??? Do normal people feel like this just a bit less spaced out??? A little less dead??? What the fuck is this nonesense' definitely doesn't help things feel more real if i am being honest. On the flip side it has consistently made my oversleeping less erratic but with all my neighbours noise it does make it more annoying to stay on task sometimes. Like yeah i am awake i guess? But?? Not like i can be productive with being unable to catch a break.
Though it is less spaced out so much as everything going on has made me feel like im just??? kind of just in limbo mentally where i am present but i otherwise feel just rather listless and unmotivated because its just five different flavors of feedback loop that all hate each other. (spoiler: its mostly the burnout i think) Its just unfortunate that i feel like im lying to myself at this point whenever i think about writing because my brain feels like a dead fish someone has just tossed on the keyboard whenever i try writing and shit has been happening. Like yeah i can and will write, but i never get far because my brain gets disgruntled like a cat that was fine with cuddles then has decided enough it enough after like ten seconds (five sentences)
#Its moments like theese that make me realise i have felt perpetually burnt out on and off the past decade and the past two have just been--#--exceptionally bad for it.#But man to think how much i could of wrote today if people did not decide to be idiots so i put off the things i started penning over last-#--week.#But maybe. Just maybe. I need a little bit more consistency in my life that i am totally not getting where i am staying.#Times are interesting and i hate it because i need one boring ass week without shit fucking happening.#I want to bitch so SO much but i am unfortunately legally not allowed to.#By fuck i thought the shit that happened at LAN parties involving 20+ people in one building when i was a kid got bad with the drama.#This.#THIS#is so much worse.#At least at lan parties [redacted] doesnt fucking happen.#...usually.#im not saying they never do because fuck knows it has probably happened before.#Please end my suffering i just want to chill out and relax enough so i can fucking wrote please---#Honesty stick me in a high drama environment and you get another flavour of why i found being unable to get away from my brother at home--#at all ever drove me up the wall.#I have come to the conclusion i am definitely not a city person.#Turquoise Rambles#Shits so bad i dont even get the time to go out and do much silly social things because im so perpetually tapped out socially IRL because--#--just being exposed to the drama has me all 'hmm. yeah. i-- i wanna be social but this is just too much.' even in a normal social situatio#Im not even caught up in this shit.#I just live here#It has nothing to do with#me but unfortunately just the proximity has me all 'what the fuck is my life. im sick of learning shit i shouldnt know'
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KREME!
Synopsis. Cúmming inside? He’ll beg for it.
Pairings. [SEPARATE] Higuruma x Reader, Gojo x Reader, Ino x Reader, Sukuna x Reader, Choso x Reader, Geto x Reader, Nanami x Reader, Toji x Reader
Content. MDNI, fem! reader, cóndom breaks, creampíes, unprotected, PÚSSYDRÚNK MEN, size kínks, full neIson, making it fit, biiig stretches, maIe squírting, cúmplay, HEADLOCKS, making them BEG, manhandIing, dúmbifícation, chokíng, ínappropríate use of jujutsu, first times (Choso, Ino), true form Sukuna, dp, marathons, overstím, slight bréeding, pet names, swéaring.
A/N. Hope you have a lovely week <3

♡ TOJI FUSHIGURO - The stubborn
Your ruthless hips were riding at a sloppy, sensual tempo enough to make the big, bad Toji Fushiguro squirm. Pap after pap enough to make him claw his calloused fingertips into your waist, enough to make him whine–
“Tch- y-your hips.” Gritting his gleaming white canines in a snarl to unsuccessfully hide the way you’d made him stutter, Toji hiccups with every one of your bounces. “Oh my god, your hips, doll- they make me wanna–”
He was struggling. Jaw ticking, mossy eyes narrowed. And you can feel his heavy, stirrin’ red tip twitch inside of you once you lean closer to hear his quieting baritone. “…i-inside.”
“Hmmm– what’s that?” You cup your ear teasingly, “Didn’t hear y- oh!”
And you seriously didn’t think that he wouldn’t bite back, did you? Superhuman reflexes gripping your hips to slam you down once, so hard n’ fast that it makes you keen, groaning only one word—“Inside.”
He wasn’t just begging anymore - he was aching for it.
The meaty mounds of his thighs twitching after every passing second that he wasn’t filling you up, Toji’s chewing down on the inside of his cheek to stop himself from leaking with all those syrupy wads of saliva threatening to depart.
Even more once you’re blinking away the sting of his toned v-line hitting the cheeks of your ass, swervin’ in a wiiiide figure-eight that makes the man below you hiss. “Say ‘please.’”
It’s been like this for far too long now.
Fuck, Toji knows this what he gets - he knows he shouldn’t have mocked your cute, needy self for always wanting to be filled up with all his thick ounces. And now you were brutally torturing him with your clingy wet pussy until he regretted it.
“P-please.” It’s wrenched from the very back of his throat, coated with a primal thickness that makes you shudder. In sultry synchronization with the creaking of the bedsprings as he bucks– “Please- I said it- okay? Inside- hafta cum inside- wanna- need to.”
The last few strings of his rationality snaps as long raven lashes glaze over with a thin film of tears, scarred lips wobbling once you’re giving his ravaged shaft a clench.
He’s so big and achingly stuffed inside of you that you can’t even breathe without feeling the mushy swivels he’s planting all the way in your lungs. You watch his broad pecs simmer with hot, desperate perspiration as he moans. Hazy peripherals half-lidding, “Please let me cum inside you, mama?”
And he’s so sexy like this - shaggy black bangs sticking to his face until he’d almost curtained his greedy gaze, mouth trickling with thin lines of drool, cock ruining you - that you almost give in.
Almost.
“Well, maybe if you say ‘pretty pl-’”
That’s just when Toji gives in, too.
Snaps.
And if you thought that his impatient rut earlier was rude, then you weren’t prepared for the way that he’s starting up a pace that fucks you silly.
Plump, puckered lips drooping languidly ajar as he watched his glistening cock pump deeper into your pussy, breath hitching as if he hadn’t even realized he was milking himself on you. Toji gropes a handful of your right asscheek and helps manhandle you up n’ down like a doll.
Rough. Rugged.
He’s searching for your sweetest spots so accurately that even the slightest brush of his puffy, wide veins leave you dizzy. Weepy divot striking your g-spot hard–
“Fuck- fuck!” Your mind’s being so muddled after every punctuating thrust that you almost don’t notice the way that Toji’s grouchy, deep tone breaks. Cracks, “Driving me fuckin’ crazy with this pretty pussy- fucking mad.”
You’re whimpering, one of Toji’s meaty forearms coming to slouch himself partially upright on the bed and listen closer to every sticky plap! No longer solely riding him - he was drilling into you like he was addicted.
Grunting, “Look at you- look at you.”
“Wh-whaaat–?” You sniffle, chin hitting your chest once turn to where he was staaaaring. Dead-on. Where your saturated pussylips were pried apart until you could see every swollen inch he was pushin’ in, the reddened split-end of his crownhead peeking out before each nudge into your favorite spots.
Rolling his eyes, Toji pitches his voice just a few octaves higher into one that definitively does not sound like you. “‘Wh-wh-what?’ she says.”
Dark brows furrowing, a thin line of sweat traces down either side of his temples as he surges into you so hard that the skin ‘round his pelvis reddens. Right hand leaving half-moon crescent nail marks on your hips, “Yer a reeeeal mean girl, y’know?” He huffs and puffs, palm pressing at the base of your spine to get you to gyrate your hips. He’s fully taken over now - cocky. “Drooling all over me like that n’ n-not expecting me to make a mess, too.”
Batting your heavy eyelids, it takes you a few seconds to actually rover your fingertips over the gleaming wet glaze that was drivelling all down Toji’s tensed core.
From the soaked tufts of Stygian black at the base of his cock to the ridges of his abs, your slurping cunt was just spraying out your essence until he was basking in it.
He watches with a sleazy grin as you’re letting the slicked mess dangle from your digits, sticky.
“Yeah, look at that- look at you.” Words high-pitched n’ breathy, gone - with every nanosecond he’s sloppily planting three repeated slam-slam-slams on your spongy cervix, Toji’s falling apart. “Looking like th-that n’ teasing me and- and ohhh ya won’t be teasing me anymore when m’filling you up, doll.”
Truly, he was just so big and barreling inside of you that it was dissolving your poor brain cells- and right now you couldn’t even remember the incident that’d led to this in the first place. “F-filling?”
“Tha’s riiiight–” He’s grinning, “Gonna fill you up now- gonna fill up that pretty pussy until y-you won’t even hngh- remember what s’like without me inside. Gonna fuck you so full you won’t even be able to speak- to breathe.”
You’re flinching once the battle-worn index of his right hand scrapes a line straight from the treacly edge of your cunt - up, up, up past your tummy and all the way to your throat.
“-gonna fill ya up until right here, mama.”
And usually, Toji would never dare cum before he’d made you reach your high at least three times - wouldn’t even mention such a thing.
Usually.
But right now it’s so much, too much that he’s throwing his sweaty crown back into the silken pillows and squirting. You’d made Toji Fushiguro squirt - hard n’ rough, quickly filling you up with gooey sploshes of sap that all but fountains out of your puffy pussylips.
He feels like he’s about to pass out, like he can’t do anything but twitch his colliding hips into yours to plug you up to the very brim. Animalistic. Barely even there.
It’s so hefty and humid past your dripping entrance that you can feel your skin break out in perspiration, unstable voice coming out awed. “Toji- d-did you just-”
“Shut up.”
Fill you up alright - you were so stuffed right now that you barely even register it when he hooks his palm once more to your waist and flips the two of you over.
Dampened bangs of his sticking to your forehead, eyes almost shuttering, the chubby edge of his mushroomy tip pryin’ apart your gluey walls with a resounding squeeeelch once more.
“Wasteful girl-” One of his free hands skim the pale milky sheen formulated on your inner thighs, leaking. Hypnotized, he thrusts- “Said I wanted to c-cum inside you, not squirt. Buckle up, buttercup.”
♡ NANAMI KENTO - “W-will it fit?”
Will it fit. Will it fit-
It’s just about the only thing that your husband can think about right now as he’s dragging his rotund fingertips aaaaall over the soppy slit of your cunt, plugging back the thick droplets of cum that just kept on pouring from between.
But he’d be lying if he said that the notion didn’t make his plump, aching balls twitch—
“Pleeeease, Ken?” You’re jutting your lower lip out cutely into a pout, tugging aside your thoroughly drenched panties further n’ further to let Nanami’s half-opened eyes take it alllll in, in this lecherous full nelson. “Promise I can ngh- take one more.”
“B-but, my love-”
And yet, he can’t stop the way his traitorous hips are creeping back a few inches and ramming straight to his massive hilt. Opening your puffy hole so wide on his sheer circumference that it’s making you all stupidly dizzy.
“Your- your body- I don’t wanna hurt you and–” His long blond lashes sweep the edges of his cheekbones as he blinks blearily down at you, sensitivity making him tear up. “I don’t know if I even can anymore-”
Push after push he’s outlining your mushy walls trying to cream himself on you, wringing himself dry. Trying. Brain sparking as he tries to wrench out a few more ribbony droplets of saccharine sap.
You’re mewling, hips jerking back n’ forth with sensitivity once the cold metal of Nanami’s wristwatch scrapes your outer pussy. Pressing deeply into your heated flesh as he snags a few thick digits ‘round your lacy panties, to tug- “But-” and riiiiip it off before you know it. “-if my pretty wife asks…”
Anything you want is yours - including if you want to be stuffed so full to the brim of your soft, syrupy pussy until you can feel him in your damn lungs.
And that’s exactly what Nanami’s doing. Twisting the glazed remnants of that flimsy underwear around his right hand, choking your pretty neck with his left hand. He’s mazing his fattened, cherry-colored tip through your walls until he’s splitting you apart.
So thick that the sheer size of him makes you sob, your legs twitching upwards once he hits the gooey back of your pussy so hard that your mind numbs. “So good- so good I can’t help but keep wanting to hah! fill you up.”
“Oh- oh, just like that–! Want it- ngh- make me your cumdump, Kento.”
“Cumdump- cumdump, huh?” His gravelly tone makes your entrance quiver, gushing walls clenching when he’s surging back to stuff himself inside snugly. Aching for that burning stretch of him, “You like it all inside, darlin’?”
And it’s a rhetorical question - but your sloppy cunt’s squelching out a few answering noises anyway. So fucking wet that even the slighest gyration stirring up your velvety innards slops out a wet puddle.
“O-ohhhh–” He’s groaning, plush lower lip wobbling ever-so-slightly at the sound that sings like music to his ears. “You wanna talk to me baby- s’that it?”
You’re whimpering, goosebumps skittering all over your skin as Nanami’s strong tannish arms push you around - bending you further, more pliably, practically in half as he’s sprawling your thighs over his meaty ones and streeeetching until he can push his fat, reddened cock even deeper. “Oh- you want me to go ngh- deeper? Anything for you, my love. Anything.”
Unsure whether he’s talking to you or your bulging pussy, he’s clawing one of his hands up to his flared nostrils and sniiiffing your wettened panties.
Groaning, “Yeah- yeah.” Nodding- the sensible, stoic Nanami Kento was completely and utterly pussydrunk. Hoarse, “Oh, your s-sweet pussy’s just begging for me to cum inside.”
With a particularly rough scratch of his bawling orifice along your cervix, you’re wailing out shrilly, “Want it- p-please, give it t’me.”
You knew how to read him so easily, because all it takes is another saturated clench before Nanami’s finding his head thrown back. Maw hotly ajaw, golden happy trail scratching your back with a shiver.
“Can I? Can I really?” And there’s something cracked and broken, octaves-higher at the back of his gentle baritone voice. Still in disbelief as he’s plunging his hips into you even sloppier, harder. So, so desperate to make his tenderly overstimulated cock finally cum, “Can’t hah! help it…can’t help it can’t- ngh! Your pussy’s too good s’making an animal outta me.”
“Don’t- miss—ngh!‘ Tearful eyes rolling around in circular patterns like in some cartoon, Nanami has to reach over his left hand until he can tug your chin down to make you watch. Watch the show.
“Promise not to miss, darlin’.”
Won’t miss - couldn’t miss even if he tried, Nanami was dead set on slapping your bruised g-spot until it makes your vision blotch with white.
The exact same creamy ivory that forths out of your greedy cunt once he’s finally, finally hitting his lecherous high. Finishing off in such a wet, primal way that coats both your folds with a glossy polish, his ribbons of cum are so scalding hot that your thighs start getting clammy with slick n’ sweat.
Nibbling down on your plush lower lip, “F-feels so good- hck!”
Full enough that your hole’s being pushed widely agape by Nanami’s rummaging cock until his syrupy cum leaks out. He’s planting two firm feet on the mattress to rut and rut and milk himself, sensitive veins rubbin’ up until tears spring to his hooded peripherals. “You like it a-allll inside, huh? Feel me all up in- here.”
The knobbled end of his thumb comes snaking down stealthily, drawing a little cum-covered heart on the slope of your pussy.
It lets out the wettest, most sinful plop! as you watch Nanami suck off the milky excess, groaning. Pushing his nosebridge back into your stringy panties, it’s as if your pheromones were enough to drive him mad all over again. “Wonder if a third one would fit, my love?”
♡ GETO SUGURU - MEAN!
“N-not yet.” You’re piping up smugly for about the nth time tonight, the rounded mounds of your ass pushing back on Geto’s sharp hipbones until he’s gritting his teeth and forcing himself not to cum.
Not to just cream your gummy walls fully in heaping oodles like he oh-so-badly needed to.
The pretty apples of his cheeks blushing raw n’ red at your endless teasing, Geto spanks his slender palm down on your right ass cheek and watches you shiver. Tiny, wracking trembles of yours turning into full-on gasps once you feel the way he only grows harder. Thicker.
“H-heh, y’know I get bigger when you’re mean to me, gorgeous.” He groans in your ear, raspy and ruined once his big, beefy left forearm comes to trap your throat in a fucking headlock. And he wasn’t merciful, either - Geto’s pushin’ his bicep close until you could feel every vein covering him. “You must really like this biiiig fucking cock then, huh?”
Taking you feverishly from behind, he was just so damn big that you’re feeling his pudgy cockhead push into your lungs.
Dragging a wet line of precum that lets his throbbing shaft slip n’ slide rapidly inside, every plap! of sticky skin-on-skin makes your hazy pupils swirl stupidly in circles inside your eyeballs. Whining, “You’re s-sooo mean, shouldn’t ever let you cum inside, Suguru.”
“I’m mean- I’m mean?” Something scratchy and pitched cracks at the back of his chuckle, gaze dilating wider like he couldn’t even believe what he was hearing. Crazed. “Tellin’ me I-I’m mean when-”
Trailing off, his plush, pink lips pucker up n’ swat your tender slope with a fat wad of saliva. Left hand sneaking slightly past your puffy lips to watch it sliiiide straight down your drooling slit, “-when you’re this fucking wet n’ expecting me not to cum inside?”
You’re so sappily drenched that every harsh rut is making you gush out in all but torrents, a few beads of slick starting to drizzle down your inner thighs.
But of course, Geto Suguru couldn’t have that.
And without a second thought, he’s dragging his thick ringed fingers down those translucent gumdrops and slipping them into his mouth. Groaning at the sweetness, “Look h-how much you’re begging- how much you’re- hah! sucking me up.”
So snug inside your cute pussy that every creeping reel of his hips backwards left you bouncing too- the sight is so cute that Geto can’t help but splash out yet another treacly stream of spittle.
“O-oh my god, Sugu–!”
“If ya can take that, then you can take this.”
And then he’s just smoochin’ your g-spot softly, once– the last bit of niceness you get before simply bruising the tippy-top of his crowned reddish tip against his favorite target. Geto’s accuracy rate is a deadly 100% and it drives you wild, knees knocking against each other as you clench.
“O-oh.” The mere velvety hug of your tight walls enough to have him leaning his upper-body over - dark monks’ robes still half-on and disheveled - till the tufts of curly black hair atop his hilt scratch your spine sensitively. Breath hitching, voice guttural. “Evil girl. Evil-” Headlock tightening, “-evil. You drive me craaaaazy.”
Practically melting.
Geto’s skin was scalding hot and glued to your back, sweat-simmered forehead hitting the crook of your neck, a low trail of saliva gushes out of his mouth and hits your shoulder with a splat! splat! splat!
It’s as if he was out of control, the twitching fringes of his digits rover down to your neglected clit and roll his frigid metal rings on top. “Tell me.”
Hiccuping at both the toying on your delicate nub and the way that your heated pants get lodged in your throat, Geto’s sculptured arms manhandle your airway to constrict. You’re whining, “T-tell you what-”
He gifts the slippery hood of your clit with a slight pinch– tone raspy and hot against the shell of your ear. “Tell me what you want, gorgeous.”
Oh, he had you.
“P-please!” You were done for. And with only a few more vulgar streaks of sloppy precum being poured into your channel, your core aches for more more more. “Want you to cum i-inside, Suguru–”
And you had him just as much. His entire muscular weight sagging on top of yours until your cheek was being firmly pressed into the soft futon, the silken fabrics and ridges of his abs glissading clammily down your arched spine.
He groans in a hoarse drag, “Thaaaat’s more like it. S’better when you beg, gorgeous. Take it-” Every single syllable being punctuated with a solid battering ram, he was simply milking himself on your sweltering hot pussy. “-take it.”
You’re hitting your wave of bliss so suddenly that you don’t even realize until Geto throws his head back with a drawn-out ‘fuh-fuuuuck!’
Every hit after direct hit sending stars twittering in your bleary vision, the pleasure was just so much that it makes your knees weaken and hit the ground. “Please- please please please–”
The chilling coldness of his tongue piercing glides down your maw just in time with the slurping splash of dewy wet cum streaking your cunt. A thick white syrup that glues your pussylips together and makes such a soiling puddle underneath you two, Geto was cumming harder than he had in his entire life.
You’re sucking mindlessly on the very tip of his candied tongue, silver studded piercing flashing inside your heated mouth. “Suguru I–” Mewling at the warmth of the sheen dripping from your outer pussy, your sloppy hole is just gushing at this point. “-it feels so good.”
“Shut up.” Geto hisses through thoroughly bitten teeth, the sound of your pretty voice too much now that he’s tumbling straight into his own high. Leaning over, “Shut up shut up- sh-shut- nghhh–”
And it’s almost as if he’d just remembered his lecherous hold on you, snugly pulling on the headlock until you’re choking cutely on your words.
He’s pushing you down, down, down and stirring his heavy length, all the way from his sagging hilt to the very plump, plum-colored tip. Digging in deep at the very bottom, “Say anythin’ else in that pretty voice and it’s going to make me want to c-cum again, gorgeous.”
♡ CHOSO KAMO - Mind-BREAK
And it wasn’t just the slick rubber condom that was tearing at the edges – truthfully, it was Choso’s sanity, too.
Because the very moment you’re batting your prettily lashes up at him, mewling to ‘please please’ keep going- well, the half-curse finds his towering body wracking with the rawest, neediest shivers. Panting.
Shaking.
The edges of his pearly whites biting straight down into his bottom lip as his hot, cherry-red tip peeks out of the condom and slips right into your raw cunt. Just bawling in creamy wet droplets of pre, frothing down your quivering pussy.
“R-raw?” Choso’s trembling out, the cutest husky whine cracking at the end of his deep voice. And he’s gnawing down on the inside of his cheek to stop from whining once you nod. “I can really…raw?”
Snuggling him to your heaving chest with a pull at his sweat-matted locks, “Mhm– please, Cho. No need to be shy, I wan’ it all inside.”
“Wh-when you say ‘all’ inside…”
Oh, fuck. Your sweet boyfriend’s cock is so thick that he’s ravaging you from the inside out, swelling n’ bulging a few more lecherous centimeters wider so that that stupid lil’ rubber is torn clean off of him. You’re throwing your head into your soft pillows once you feel his mazing veins scrape-scrape-scraaaaape along your dewy walls, so laaazily.
Choso respires a few unsteady inhales as he’s urgently tugging off the shattered remains of the condom, slender soft tips of his digits then moving to give himself a pinch. Rasping, “S’real-” To give your perky clit a pinch. His eyes widen, “S’real s’real- it’s-”
You’re whining, hips bucking restlessly up where he was stuffing your cunt with rapid, ruined half-ruts. Over and over- like he didn’t even realize what he was doing. “O-of course it’s real, baby.”
Like he couldn’t do anything else.
“No, but- but it’s real-” Choso’s voice breaks as he’s pleading with you, granting your clit one last pinch. “M’going in raw and oh–!” Chestnut lashes flapping helplessly at the slick velvety feeling inside of you, you were hugging his throbbing length so warm, so tightly that he could feel his thighs twitch. “Fuck- I’m gonna fuck you now. Gonna fuck you for real.”
Not even registering that his hips already were pounding into you. He’s slouching over to ram faster, harder.
“Oh, m’already fucking you…”
The stretch so wide that your knees thrash weakly, “Shit- shit, feels so good, Choso– keep going.”
With a stolen peek at your bulging folds, Choso gingerly wraps his long fingers ‘round either side of your squirming hips to keep on pushing forward; even the slightest recoil making him grunt. More.
With a particularly harsh ba-dump–! of his slimy, curvaceous tip probin’ into your cervix, he finds his breath hitching. As if he’d just had an epiphany- “Does that ngh- mean I can do that thing called a….” Boring deep into your eyes, his steamily hot shaft releases a gooey line of precum. Jolting with excitement. “-a creampie, baby?”
Oh.
Oh.
Now that he’d had one taste, he wanted the entire meal. All three courses that made the man salivate at the mere thought.
Your spit-glittered lips droop into the perfect ‘o’ once the words finally sink in, moaning. “Wh-where do you even find this- out- hck! Cho?”
Now, Choso wasn’t experienced, not even close - but even he could feel the way your soppy pussylips were getting so much damper with arousal. Stamping a glistening kiss on his hilt that he wishes he could tattoo- “Read about it- online- and I–”
He’s breaking off with a fucked-out groan at the beaded droplets of moisture seeping from your entrance, pouring out with a splat! after every punctuating thrust.
And Choso doesn’t even realize how he’s moving - doesn’t even register the fact that he’s gripping your boneless legs and throwing them on his shoulders until you sob. Heels digging into his flexed deltoids, front meeting his tense abs, pushed into such a filthy mating press.
“-and I think m’gonna fucking die if I don’t fill up this pretty pussy, baby.”
“O-oh, fuck!” You’re shrilling through your clenched teeth every time he’s arching his muscular back to strike your g-spot precisely, filling your nooks and orifices with a clingy second skin of sap.
Choso fucks you straight through the mattress of your bed like he yearns for you - sloppy, sensual drags of his painfully-hard cock. “You wanna hngh! cum inside?”
“Please- please.” He’s gasping, strawberry divot leaking from the end of his long length with every vulgar stroke. “I want it. Need it- d-don’t know if I’ll be able to last with this cute cunt so raw n’ wet and raw.”
His parched Adam’s apple bobs carnally once you slide your greedy palms all over his luscious pecs, tuggin’ on those rose-pink nipples till he shivers. Down, down, down.
And he’s just too pretty with his eyes glazed-over with tears, gaze fiery through the cracks in his bangs. You just can’t help but waft your hands over each of his eight rippling abs and tease- “Tell me- how badly?”
Cutely pathetic wobbles taking over his rosy lips, “Badly- badly. Please, I’ll beg-” Choso’s beefy arms grip onto your hips stronger until you’re halfway through being lifted clean off the rickety bedsprings. You’ve ruined him- fuck, you’ve ruined him. A primally desperate expression taking over his features, “M’begging, please let me c-cum inside. Promise I’ll make you feel eeeeevery single inch- eeeeevery single- drop.”
Blinking, “Every?”
“Every.” And Choso’s just about ready to open his dry mouth and plead some more, to fuck the answer out of you. That is- before the hands that’d been tracing his dark happy trail end up slithering downwards, just barely reaching over to caress his rounded pink ballsack. “Ev- oh.”
To make him cum and cum harder than he ever has in his entire life.
When it rains, it pours - and Choso was simply flooding your poor, snug core with messy topping upon topping of white, syrupy seed. So much of it splashing against the circular bruises he’d made at the back of your pussy and rapidly overfilling you from the inside.
You can feel your warmly fuzzy mind sparking something primal with every spurt stuffed inside of you- and he wasn’t just pushing it inside, he was battering you with it.
Quick, aggressive spanks of his toned v-line into the underside of your thighs. He puffs out in a sweltering cloud of breath, eyeliner smudged through tears. “Fuh-fuck! Fuck fuck fuck- so this is a c-creampie? S’this how m’supposed to hngh- fill your pussy up, baby?”
Dolloping out a milky wad of cum that’d webbed around his bulky base, he’s coating his thumb in all of those juices and drawin’ a cute heart on top of your clit. Pressing down hard to make you cry out oh-so-prettily–
“Mhmm– you’re pussydrunk, Cho.” You’re managing to giggle out, fingers brushing away a stray strand of brown that’d plastered onto his sweat-glossed forehead.
Fingers that your boyfriend catches between his honed canines and bites. Hard.
Left hand angrily fisting the drenched hilt of his cock, palm smearing with a buzzing layer of Blood Manipulation. Of power that forces his weepy tip to pulse and harden– again. Again. “Oh, you’re about to see ‘pussydrunk’, baby.”
♡ RYOMEN SUKUNA - The big
“-two—three–hck!” You’re keening at the humidly burning stretch of your arched spine, bleary eyes falling over your shoulder and behind to where you were riding the great King of Curses in reverse. Well, more like splitting your poor pussy open–
Been like this for so, so long - a marathon. You could already feel the glittery ringlet of cum from rounds prior sinfully tickling your wide entrance, splosh! goes that cute tummy bulge he was fucking into you.
Flapping your tear-stained eyelashes, your voice cracks as you slip yourself down yet another one of his thick, barreling dual inches. So sensitive. “-f-four?”
“Keh- nice try.” Sukuna claws one of his four palms across your hips, using just the tiniest bit of his strength to draaaaag you down his copious, throbbing lengths. So much of him filling you up that it makes your head dizzy, “But no, mama, you’re eight inches in.”
Eight- eight?
Oh, the mere notion is enough for you to weaken your knees and let two of his monstrously massive palms take control.
Giving your right ass cheek a rude spank, “And only…” A third of his big, beefy arms measuring out the remaining girths that were puffy and aching to be stuffed inside of you. “-almost halfway more to go.”
“H-half- oh!”
Before that sentence has even registered in your mind, he’s tapping your trembly thighs open and giving a thorough slam that pries your gluey walls oh-so-apart. All but making you scream–
“Shush now- and let this pretty pussy be the one talking.” Sukuna licks his lips with a thin layer of spittle at the way you’re sucking him up ravenously. Every slap of his probin’ crownhead inside beading a few dewy droplets of precum that pour out with a sluuuurp. “What’s that? What’s that?”
Your moans are halfway through flooding your mouth before you realize that he isn’t even speaking to you.
No- no, he’s drifting his beady crimson eyes down to coo at your bulging pussylips. Bouncin’ your lecherous hips in swerving motions, he leans in even closer to listen to her.
“Ohhh, sloppy girl–” Sukuna puffs out through sweltering, stilted breaths. And you’re flinching at the dampened sliiiide of something wet and hot slithering between your swollen folds. Trawling a saturated layer of spittle with his damn cursed mouth, making a mess of the syrupy white seed leaking out. “-you want more, huh? I dunnoooo, better ask the missus.”
More.
More more more.
You were so full to your filthy brim that every minute movement made the knotted wads of cum inside of you splash.
Thighs trembling as you’re riding out a shallow, sensual pace, “M-more? What do you mean- ngh-”
Smack! goes the way that the king plants down yet another hefty slap, all of his fleshy fingertips branding permanently on your heated skin. “You know what I mean, lil’ human.” Sukuna’s so monstrously big that the slightest buck of his muscular thighs makes your driveling cunt sound out a squelch! “She wants ta be stuffed even more. Heh- greedy.”
“W-will it even fit, Kuna–?”
“Awww- see? I tried, girl.” Turning back to your lil’ stuffed pussy, you’re watching from the front as he puckers his lips in faux sympathy.
So filthy with his rummaging cocks that every hammering thrust makes him slide against the other, the zig-zagging lines of his veins massaging your sweet spots just right. Pullin’ apart your sappy cunt until you were just struggling to keep up the sheer stretch.
He’s soaking out a bucketload of buttery pre that sparked more of those noises he loved so much. “S’that so? Want me to ask again? Wan’ it haaa– that bad, huh?” Turning back to you, the underside of Sukuna’s cursed tongue flattens to roam over like a tendril, giving your clit a spank. “Begging- s’that what you want? The king to beg?”
And oh. Oh- if any one of his cursed subjects could overhear the king right now then they would have fainted
Jaw dropped, hips faltering, eyelids fluttering to try and dredge up some ounce of your rationality. “B-beg?”
“Mhm—” And, well, part of Sukuna thought it’d be a joke, part of Sukuna was so pussydrunk that he was just babbling. Slithering his sizzling tastebuds all over your sheeny inner-thighs, spearheading you with his bulbous tips until he’s swiping all the way on your cervix. Twice. “C’mon, girl. M’begging- begging here to cum inside, kissin’ your feet and all.”
The mouth slashed across his sculptured front titters, lightly craning over to plant a few smooches all over your ankles. He hums, “See? See? M’begging- c’mon, girl, milk me dry- milk the king dry. Look at how you’ve got me.”
And your hips - oh, your birthing hips are so good that it has his crown scalp overheating, fuzzy every time the globes of your ass jiggle sensually down onto his tattooed hips.
Hitting, hitting, hitting.
Until your flesh is stinging and raw, heavy spitballs falling out from your mouth - enough to make your words incoherent. “Th-then please.” A hot stream of tears hitting your cheeks, “Please.”
“P-please.”
And that last beg wasn’t one from your parched lips - it was one from his. Ryomen Sukuna unfastening his sharp jaw to let his trembling baritone crack with what sounds like a whimper once you’re hitting your high.
And then he cums.
With both matchingly rock-hard ends of his shafts, the ridges of his tip catch on your softest spot and drench it in silvery bouts of syrupy white seed. Pumping and pumping you full until he can trek a hand up to about halfway down your tummy and pat the lil’ cylindrical outline.
You’re thrashing at the zaps of pleasure that blur your vision, “It’s s-shoooo full–! Hck! It’s so full, Kuna–”
“How cuuuute–.” His whispers make shivers run down your spine, curling a hand ‘round your throat so that he can gnaw his gnarly canines down your throat.
The split-ended edges of his tongue slip along the slimy ribbons of cum that trickle out of your creamy pussy. Lapping up every inch of you, “She’s happy heh- look at her.”
Until a carnal scratch along your slippery slit makes your wet pussy squeeeelch, “O-oh, she’s saying–” You’re craning your head to meet Sukuna’s half-lidded, glowing eyes and oh- oh, you were fucked. Because Ryomen Sukuna whimpers, “-she wants more…”
♡ INO TAKUMA - 1st.
“First-” Departs Ino’s gruff whine, panted right into the crook of your neck while he squeezes you to his toned front. “M-my first time- is this really real? Really reeeally real?”
A pretty smile tugs on your spit-slicked lips, enough to make Ino want to cum right then and there. “Of course- why, baby?”
“B-because it doesn’t feel real, pretty.” Comes his sultry, low-toned answer, wrinkling his nose and grunting at the squelching slip n’ slide of your oversaturated folds down his reddened cock. You’re biting down on the plush of your lower lip when his puffy veins scratch your outer pussy sensually. “Can’t believe m’going to- to…”
Ino’s so drunk on your sweet, sweet pussy that he’s already run out of words.
The tawny strands of his bangs covering his eyes, his heart-shaped pupils are fully starstruck once he pushes the pointed globe of his cockhead into your hole.
Breath hiccuping. Panting.
Throat ripping with a cracked whimper as he’s easing in, “Can’t believe that you f-feel so good and-” Dizzy pupil locked on the way he’s pushing your bloated lips so far apart- Ino’s so damn thick that just the simplest few inches is enough to make your knees weak. “-a-and fuuuuck…m’not gonna last.”
Not a few more minutes, not even for a few more breaths. Just one squelching touch and he’s finding himself gone already.
Ino’s further spreading his capped knees on the bed to rut and rut and rut like he’s trying to milk himself stupid. Slicked, glistening stripes of pre dripping down either side of your heated thigh, he’s making such a mess.
“Aww— you wanna ngh- cum inside, Taku–?” You’re coaxing through his mindless pace, pushing with the left-leaning angle of his fat length like he was addicted.
And he was- oh, he was addicted. So, so addicted that just the mere idea - just hearing those words fall from your puckered lips - was enough for him to want to cum right then and there.
Gnawing on his plump, cherry-pink bottom lip, “Yes- yes, please.” He’s breathing out, soft panting gasps hitting your face like a scorching breeze. And his fuzzy happy trail is making your clit rub raaaw once he starts glissading even deeper inside. “C-can I cum inside, sweetness?”
“Hmm–” You’re pretending to think whilst he patiently waits, “I dunno—”
And you watch as he stalls, you watch as he falters. You watch that dopey, ruined smile plastered all over his face sag ever-so-slightly, that strawberry orifice weeping from the end of his cock pulsing angrily in response. That is- until you’re plowing on teasingly, “How badly do you want it, baby?”
Oh, and Ino can only think to go harder- a chance, you’re really giving him a chance.
Drilling his slick-lustred girth into you faster, rougher- he’s gritting his teeth and pounding all his voluminous, plumpened inches inside like a madman. “Badly- so, so badly–” Words coming out a throaty croon, he’s almost yelping from the back of his throat at the raw sting of slamming flesh.
“Hmm- now where are those manners?”
“P-please. Please, pretty? Please let me ngh! cum inside? I’ll do anything.”
“Anything–?”
“Anything.” Ino nods and nods, tumbling over his unsteady fingers to wrap ‘round your perked, swollen clit like he’d read online. “I’ll do anything.”
And what he said - he meant.
He’s scouring his bloated cockhead till you feel him dig a deep crater into your g-spot, a rounded bruise the exact size of his thick circumference. Ino might be the sweetest, but his jackhammering tempo certainly wasn’t. “Anything- I-I’ll clean up after and take care of you and kiss you to sleep and…”
Mouth flooding with a glinting few droplets of saliva, falling into the perfect oh! once he’s locking his eyes with your syrupy cunt once again. How pretty.
Grinning, “-and marry you.”
And he barely even hears it - that tiny, mewling ‘i-inside!’ that you’re letting off before Ino’s cottony eardrums pop! and he’s suddenly all but bursting inside of you.
Straight streaks of cum that clog your cunt sweetly from the inside out, you throw your head back at the noisy squeeelch–! that thunders out from between your soppy pussylips. Ino’s ropy liquid showering your hole in white and trickling out in a lil’ puddle.
“S-so good.” You huff out, thighs sticking to each other with the glue-like texture of his seed.
He’s finding himself hypnotized by the slicked mess, by how ruined you look. And it’s a sight so heavenly that Ino’s barely out of the woods of his waves of euphoria - hazel eyes teary, thighs still twitching, the mushroomed ridge of his length coating with even more layers of splashing cum as soon as he’s hastily pulling out.
“S-said I’d do anything, pretty.” He mutters, now positioned near the end of your dampened bed where he’s pushing himself deeply into your puffed-up pussylips.
One hand bullying your jittery thighs open, the other wrapping around his bulked hilt and seeping reverse cursed energy through his skin.
More, he needed more. And he’s making himself harder—
And Ino always did look so pretty - but right now? With his brown hair unruly, eyes sleepy, delicate mouth glossed in a thick coating of liquid that drips all the way from his upper lip to his chin? You think he’s never looked more beautiful.
Swollen lips latching ‘round your tender clit, you’re seeing literal stars as he sucks on that ravaged lil’ nub like his favorite gummy candy, licking off that salty ivory topping. “N’ first up was haaaah- cleaning you up.”
♡ GOJO SATORU - The addicted
“Aww, look at you, sweetheart- just look at you.” Gojo’s raw, ruined voicebox huffs out, biting down on his plump lower lip that just won’t stop grinning pussydrunkenly. “You want me to cum inside you soooo bad.”
You’re huffing out between every pointed thrust he’s easing inside you from behind, prying apart your glue-topped pussylips with a squelch. “A-as if, don’t think you’re ngh! off the hook already, Satoru.”
And that really would’ve been more effective if your sloppy cunt wasn’t just slobbering out ropey wads of sap with every passing second. Gojo’s thick, barreling cock so swollen that every brush of his candy-red tip leaves you gasping.
It almost makes you forget that you were really supposed to give your husband an earful for skiving off of yet another jujutsu meeting. But that was so goddamn hard when he was fucking you like this.
“But you called me ‘Satoru’—” He’s humming in your ear, words dipping into such a whiny territory. With a stinging spank of his vibrating, cursed energy-capped fingertips on your clit he has you arching into him.
Tilting his head with such a cocky, cocky grin. “See? See–?” Gojo hoists his muscular leg up until the plane of his foot rests upon your head, rudely. “Don’t lie- You want the strongest to cum in you, don’tcha?”
Forced to bite down on the mushy innards of your cheek to keep yourself from fucking screaming - or worse, completely and utterly agreeing with him. Instead, you’re only perking your hips up minutely so that his rummaging pounds can probe an even deeper bruising circle on your cervix.
Hard.
Desperate.
So, of course Gojo Satoru and his blazing Six Eyes will notice.
Of course, he’ll crack out a low snicker as he abuses that special power to stir his fleshy cockhead around and around, giving your g-spot a good whack.
“Oh you do—” He’s crooning out from behind you, tone scratchy, octaves higher. And the inkling of something so raw and dark seeped into his tone is enough to make you whimper. “-you do you do you do.”
“Fuh-fuck–!” Thighs clenching as he swats them upright and arches you into some of the most vicious thrusts. Bottomed out, drenched all the way to his bloated hilt, and yet he was still pushing and pushing to fit further inside.
He needed you - wanted you to be so full of him you couldn’t even think. The tight curvature of his fattened balls kneading into the base of your wet cunt, “Tell me you want it- tell me.”
“N-not until you start attending your meetings- ngh!”
“Ohhh I love a mouthy girl.” He titters, flexible body bending until he’s so sinfully close to your ear. Gojo’s melding you deeper into the mattress with every second, every jackhammer, every squeeze of his foot bullying on top of your head and making all the blood in your body rush up there, dizzyingly.
With a precisely-planned knock-knock-knock on your soft womb, he’s rutting his toned v-line into you like he was going craaaazy. Plum-shaped crown of his cock squirting out just a warning few ribbons of sappy precum— “But I’d prefer if that mouth was used for haaaa- something else, my girl. How are you gonna have this hngh- biiig fuckin’ cock inside you and not want me to fill ya up, huh?”
Pushed so deeply into the puffy silken cover of your pillows that your next words are incoherent–
“Louder.” Usually-melodic voice now stern, almost feral. His sapphire blue eyes were bolting with flecks of lightning.
Again- and again your words are nothing but blubbers of moans and syrupy saliva that just kept on flooding from your mouth with sheer bliss. Dangling from your lips, “I- ngh- Toru–”
“Louder.”
And then finally - finally - Gojo’s easing the pressure of his foot just enough to make your agape maw lift off the bed with a muggy pwah! Moaning into the steaming hot puddle of drool that you’d collected, “Don’t make me- ngh…s-sex- ban-”
It’s barely audible, barely understandable.
But to the strongest, it’s as if his entire body is just rattling at the sudden sentence. Jujutsu powers snapping out of control until he suddenly had you laid out on your back against the bedsprings; thighs on his buff shoulders, cock nuzzling your g-spot in split-seconds.
Teleporting the two of you into a mating press.
Gojo reels until he’s just bucking savagely into you, cadence feverish - frenzied. Not even fully slamming from the pre-capped fringe of his tip anymore, just half-thrusts that have you wailing shrilly.
“No-” He’s hissing at the clenching feeling of your cozy walls, pressing the curves of his prominent veins just right against your g-spot. He didn’t even need to use Six Eyes anymore, he was mapping out and filling every single nook and cranny of you. “No no no no- no- it was a joke- a joke, see?”
A nervous bout of lilted laughter bursts out in a puff against your face, and glossy strings of drool just spill from his swollen lips.
Soft, they’re kissing n’ kissing you until you’re dazed. “A j-joke, huh?”
“Yes- please. Please let me- haaaa- inside.”
And you’re swearing that his harshly pillaging girth pulses even fatter n’ harder after those next words escape your mouth. “I- hck! Fine- inside. Want it mmm– inside, Toru.”
“O-oh.”
And then he’s gasping, he’s shivering.
Sculptured body collapsing into yours until you’re feeling every massaging push of his firm pecs, his washboard abs. Pace so hard that you’re pushed further and further up the headboard with only the recoil of his cock bashing into your sweetest spots.
But Gojo doesn’t see it that way - Gojo can’t think of anything at all other than the fact that your cute dripping cunt might be running from him and he just can’t have that.
“Come back, sweetheart-” He’s hiccuping, mindlessly activating a few tendrils of cursed energy that keep you in place. “Come back come back come back so that I can- hck! can…”
Gojo doesn’t even have the privilege of finishing his sentence before he’s doing what he’s been yearning to do for so long.
Pumping your hot pussy full with thick, ropey wads of cum that glue your plush walls together from side to side. And it feels so heavenly to finally reach his finish line inside you, whimpering at the lecherously sticky slosh of drooling sap he’s rummaging with each thrust.
Pearly whites sinking into his trembling lower lip, “Nghhhh- yeah that’s it, my girl. Look at me fucking you, that’s it- take it all.”
Making such a mess - making you so dumb on his cock. Gojo mutters to himself dazedly over the slurps and moans you’re letting off- thick n’ raspy. He counts down, “Three…two…” Before dragging his energy-coated thumb once over your clit, “-one!”
And it wasn’t just his Six Eyes that told him you were cumming - it was your pretty pussy.
Completely shattered, your pillowy insides are clamping down on him so hard that he’s rutting against it and fighting to plunge his sagging cock deeper into your slippery channel. Head throwing, eyes crashing with tears at the sheer bliss- “Toru- Toru!”
“Yeah- I got you, sweetheart, your Toru’s got you.” Gojo wheezes out, and he doesn’t know what he loves more - you, or you when he’s fucking his fat webs of cum inside you.
Frothing out a creamy white coating from your leaky entrance, so thick that he’s swabbing his thumb down your slit to clear up the mess. Voice shattering with something that sounds like the last remnants of his sanity, “O-one down.” He looks from his proud creampie to your face, gifting you with a big battering ram. Chuckling, “Five more to go.”
♡ HIGURUMA HIROMI - OVERTIME
Higuruma was late.
He was so, so late for work— but did that really matter when he had you - his gorgeous wife - sprawled all over the living room couch, so pretty and fucked-out while he pounded away into you like a madman for the nth time this morning?
This was heaven.
Well- it would be heaven if he wasn’t so damn late-
“Sugar- angel-” Higuruma’s pants through clenched teeth, seething every time he swivels his aching, red-hot tip into your mushiest crevices. Unable to make himself stop. “-my wife.”
You’re finding your swollen folds fluttering at the gravelly tonality of his voice; your sensible, hard-working husband reduced to this. And the thought is enough to make you smile, “Mhmm– m’here, Hiromi.”
Hell, you n’ that sweet pussy of yours was so addictive that he half-wished you weren’t.
Well, not really- never really. And Higuruma’s loosening his dark tie with a heady tut- “Look at how you’ve r-ruined me.” Almost incredulous, he can’t help but lock his eyes down on the soppy, dampening patch of sap that was starting to formulate on his formal pants.
Disheveled, suit jacket slacking off whilst he slouches his shoulder muscles over and gives your cervix a few more sensual slams. Milking himself. Milking you.
Darkly muttering, “This one’s the last one before I g-go to work. Just a quickie, angel- just a quickie before I oh-” Shit, he can’t even finish that sentence before feeling his tightened balls flinch at your gushing clench.
“You said that hah! last time, too-”
“Well, this time I mean it.” And if you didn’t know any better then you’d be swearing that Higuruma’s pale pink lips were pulling into a pout, dark eyes narrowing down at you. “This time I r-really mean it–” He utters as he’s rovering two roughened palms underneath your thighs to throw them over his shoulders.
The crowned globe of his curvaceous tip scratching a carnal itch at your cervix as he’s leaning his hips in and bending. Down, down, down until both you and the aged couch are singing with delight, “-I really- really…”
But one look - just one, proper look at you all bent into this mindless mating press, leaking a creamy frosting of cum from between your legs - and Higuruma is done for.
Larynx ripping with a hoarse groan like he already knew he lost, he’s drawling out. Syllables slurring together as if he was drunk, “Sugar…”
“Yeeess, Hiromi?”
Dazed already. “Have I ever told you how much I ngh- love you?” Higuruma’s sharp nosebridge crinkles at the very top when he snarls. You’re squealing once his thick office button-up starts rubbin’ on your hardened nipples, “How much I love- her.”
And by her, who else could it be?
You’re whimpering, back arching off of the perspiration stain you’d created on the cushion once he’s snaking his left hand to your clit and toying. Rolling over the cold, mean edge of his wedding ring right where you were the most sensitive- Higuruma only watches and watches as that makes you pour out hefty bucketloads of cum.
Bobbing Adam’s apple parched, not only does he gaze - he stares. Hypnotized. “Th-think my wife needs to be ngh- filled up, actually.”
“M-more?” Your voice crackles out, eyes widening at the already-lecherous feeling of him increasing his sloppy strokes until your snug channel feels bloated. Stretching and stretching.
“More.”
A bead of sweat drips from the side of his dark, slicked-back hair and hits your chest with a striking splat! Precisely in unison with when he’s whacking into your g-spot so hard you’re seeing white pop up in your vision. Growling, “M’serious- r-really wanna cum inside.”
And he wasn’t just fucking you mean, he was leaving your clit all bruised n’ extra swollen, too.
“No- really need to cum inside.” Clearing his throat ever-so-slightly, Higuruma’s dewy raven eyes gaze upon you through his long lashes. So sexy like this that you’re feeling your mouth water with your answer already, “C-can I? Please- please, can I?”
Oh. You just made stern, stoic Higuruma beg.
And now that he’d started, he couldn’t stop.
Harder and harder.
Rumbling baritone already fraying at the edges- he’s growing more n’ more feverish with each disturbed dollop of cum that sprayed out of you. “Look at h-her- oh, just look at her.” Blinking his heavy lids furiously to clear out some semblance of his vision, “Fuck the time- fuck work, she’s mine.”
You’re rutting your hips to meet his, a splatter of saliva growing from your mouth due to his sheer dumbifying pace. “Yours- p-please- yours-”
“And I’m yours-” Higuruma gasps- as if anything else would be wrong. Nosing down the line of your throat, your essence was so addictive that he could almost taste it. Faster. Harder. “So how could I n-not cum inside my pretty lil’ wife? And if we get a cute kid nine months later then…”
Milking himself on you, ruining himself. He was already so sensitive that only a few slicked glissades across your cunt make his half-lidded eyes tear up - and fuck- you weren’t any more stable.
“-even better.”
Because the moment those words waft from Higuruma’s plump lips, you’re cumming. Crashing into your high headfirst, you don’t even realize it when those tingly buzzes of pleasure had turned into a pure torrential wave.
Squirting- oh.
You were really making sure that Higuruma’s office suit was unwearable right now, because those splattering streams of sap paint his formalwear see-through. Raining down, dripping pearly beads of moisture up n’ down every ridge of his abs.
Flinching, he gifts you with pump after pump that spikes the sensations of your orgasm and makes you arch. So good. “O-oh my god– oh my god, angel.”
Mouthing out through your spittle-glued lips - the only thing that Higuruma can see right about now - ‘cum inside.’
And that’s all it takes- all it takes for your poor husband to lose his damn mind.
Higuruma feels his throat go raspy with moans upon moans of your name, babbling away. “Th-thank you-” His breath hitches at the thumping impact of every wire of seed trickling down to your cervix, the recoil of each single thwack! of webbed mass splattering in a recoil back to his capped tip. “Thank you thank you- thank you, sugar, for taking it all.”
Your greedy pussy so parched that you were practically slurping it all past your puffy entrance, every. single. drop.
It’s so filthy - your dribbling cunt is so filthy.
And Higuruma’s fucking blushing a bright, maidenly pink from the tips of his ears as he runs his left hand over the bubbling sheen of white escaping your quivering hole. Right hand reaching for that hastily-discarded phone of his-
“H-hello?” The partially-steady words startle you only a few sultry seconds later, “Yeah this is Higuruma- I’d like to call off today. My wife is…” And your husband chokes your shocked gasp with a fat thrust of his wettened, vein-decorated cock. Throbbing inside your squelching cunt for more, “-sick.”
A/N. Yesssss making them whiny men we looove-
Plagiarism not authorized.
#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jjk x you#gojo x reader#geto x reader#sukuna x reader#nanami x reader#gojo smut#geto smut#sukuna smut#nanami smut#tonywrites#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#choso x reader#choso smut#toji x reader#toji smut#jjk x reader smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader smut#gojo x reader smut#toji x reader smut#ino x reader#satoru gojo x reader#toji fushiguro smut#nanami x reader smut#choso x reader smut#ino smut#higuruma x reader
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Me: idk if I really wanna go on T
Also me: if I started T early I would've been such a hoe 😭
#imma just be here in this corner chillin. feel free to join#me but if you're annoying then fuck off#idk#maybe in an alternative universe i'd have less hang ups#remembering the gender euphoria i felt at 16 wearing a trenchcoat (it was cold and rainy) and a baseball cap and being perceived as male#actually i think i got pictures from that day. went to visit a temple and window shopped with my host mum#but ngl going on t is a commitment and i do question whether it's the best path for myself#at this point i've gotten used to seeing the same face in the mirror for the past 12 years. even changing my hairstyle felt drastic#(i wore the same box braid style with a george washington ass ponytail from the ages of like ~10 to ~19. basically my entire adolescence lo#with very occasional changes. and tbh i might stick with the same hairstyle i have right now until i'm 30. i'm open to like changing my#overall style but hair styling stresses me the fuck out. since i never learned how to like do natural hair and i'm not dextrous at all#(can't braid for shit) it usually ends up being. taxing oily and expensive. so now i wear my hair the same day 24/7/365)#i also have to remind myself too not to compare my life journey with others. counsellors and mentor figures have been telling me this for s#long too but i'd sometimes scoff at that (inside my head tho). and like i don't mean to be like an nlog/nlop (??) about it like ppl have#their own struggles and all. but i mean for instance (outside of tumblr) being lgbtq+ makes you a minority. maybe a significant minority#these days but a minority nonetheless. being a poc in a white environments you'll simply navigate the world differently compared to your#white peers. similarly with navigating the world as a neurodivergent person. whether “formally” diagnosed or not#similarly with being a second gen immigrant#and this probably seems obvious. it is. but for so long i've had pretty high standards for myself (although i didn't always see those#standards as high) and try to nitpick my way towards some sort of ideal#basically i've made peace with the fact my identity isn't quite “set”. and preparing for the possibility that it might stay that way for as#long as i live. my specific life circumstances conditioned me to wave away certain mainstream societal norms. so. why should i start#accepting these norms all of a sudden with open arms when they have never served me and have only caused me undue stress. and it's not like#i don't got other shit to stress about either. channeling my inner 12 year old energy. relearning how to be more unbothered#uchiha-gaeshi's life crisis#status: ongoing#uchiha-gaeshi overshares#gender crisis#txt
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It always gets me that the name "Gandalf" literally just means "Wand-Elf" or "Stick-Elf". I'm imagining old Gondorians just being like:
Librarian: I saw that weird guy at the library again today.
Guard 1: What weird guy?
Librarian: The old guy with the beard? Kinda elfy-looking, apart from the beard?
Guard 1: Oh, with the big-ass stick?
Librarian: Yeah, looked like he was carrying an entire tree branch.
Guard 2: Yeah, that's the Stick Elf.
Guard 1: Hell yeah, I fuckin' love the Stick Elf.
Librarian: The "Stick Elf"?
Guard 2: He comes by every few years, usually after some weird book or other.
Librarian: Oh. Yeah, he wanted a treatise on goblin breeding habits.
Guard 2: Like, how they have sex? We have books on that?
Librarian: Yeah, turns out we do. I was as surprised as you are.
Guard 1: What'd the Stick Elf need a fuckin' goblin-fuckin' book for?
Librarian: I didn't ask. So you just call him "Stick Elf"?
Guard 2: I mean, he looks kinda elfy and he always has that stick, so, like, yeah.
Guard 1: Dude also has some fuckin' dope pipeweed.
Guard 2: Oh yeah, his pipeweed is awesome.
Librarian: How long has he been coming here?
Guard 2: Oh, for decades. He's, like, super old.
Guard 1: More like fuckin' centuries. Dude's old as balls.
Guard 2: Wait, really?
Guard 1: Yeah, my gran-gran used to talk about him. She loved his pipeweed too.
Librarian: So he's… an immortal pipeweed dealer?
Guard 2: I think he's just, like, a connoisseur. He doesn't sell it or anything. He just always has some really top-notch pipeweed on him.
Archivist: Oh, are we talking about Stick Elf?
Guard 1: Hell yeah we are!
Librarian: You know about the Stick Elf, too?
Archivist: Oh, totally. Stick-Elf's a super chill dude. Gave me some awesome pipeweed when I was maybe 12, and tee-bee-aitch I think I'm still a little buzzed from it.
Guard 1: What'd I tell ya, fuckin' dope pipeweed!
Archivist: Also he's really old.
Guard 1: Old as balls.
Librarian: Yeah, so Éodan and Jenniforomir were telling me.
Archivist: My grandpa used to tell me stories - he said one time he saw Stick Elf enter a smoke-ring contest.
Guard 1: Ooh, I'll bet he kicked fuckin' ass.
Archivist: Apparently the guy made an entire warship out of smoke and it flew around shooting down the other rings.
Librarian: And how much of this "fuckin' dope" pipeweed had your grandfather had by this point?
Guard 1: No no, that's totally plausible. Dude's got weird elf powers and shit for sure.
Archivist: He brought fireworks for the king's birthday one year, too.
Guard 1: Oh fuck, I forgot about those! Fuckin' incredible fireworks! Dragons and knights and glowy trees and shit! I was fuckin' 6 years old or something, they totally blew my mind. Hey Éodan, did you see that shit?
Guard 2: No, I think that's before I lived in Gondor.
Guard 1: Wait, you're not from here?
Guard 2: Oh, no, I grew up in Rohan. We moved here when I was, like, thirteen because my uncle Éojeff said he could get my dad a sweet job. And also that there were houses that didn't smell like horseshit.
Guard 1: Oh shit, are you related to Éojeff and Éosteve who run that æbleskiver stand on Norndîl St?
Guard 2: Yeah, they're my uncles!
Guard 1: Shit, they cook a fuckin' great æbleskiver!
Librarian: Ok, hold up a sec, "Stick Elf" can't possibly be his real name.
Guard 1: Why not?
Librarian: What? You think his parents named him in the hopes that he would carry around a fucking tree when he got older?
Guard 2: Maybe they gave him the tree when he was born!
Archivist: I don't think a baby could carry that stick.
Guard 1: You ever seen a baby hanging onto something? They're hella strong.
Archivist: It's not a strength thing, their hands are tiny. That staff is enormous!
Guard 1: My halberd's bigger 'n I am, I can hold it just fine.
Archivist: You're not a baby.
Librarian: Also why would elf parents name their kid "stick ELF"?! Presumably they know that their kid's going to be an elf!
Archivist: Is he actually an elf? I didn't think they grew beards.
Guard 1: How'd he get old as balls if he's not an elf?
Guard 2: His ears aren't that pointy. Maybe he's just a really old guy? Like, a Numémoriam or something?
Guard 1: Did you just say "Numémoriam"?
Guard 2: Nûnenorman? Munimõrbitan? Y'know, those guys like the king that can get super old.
Guard 1: You mean the fuckin' Númenóreans?
Guard 2: Yeah, the Númenóreums.
Archivist: Even the Númenóreans don't live THAT long.
Guard 1: Plus he carries that fuckin' stick around.
Guard 2: Wait, what does the stick have to do with it?
Guard 1: That's an elf thing. Y'know, trees and shit? Very elfy.
Librarian: Ok, look, but his parents naming him "Stick Elf" would be weird whether or not he's an elf. In fact, it's even weirder if he's not - what human names their kid "elf"?
Archivist: Huh. Yeah, you're right, he probably does have another name.
Guard 2: Yeah, I guess so.
Librarian: He's been coming here for decades and nobody's ever asked his real name?
Archivist: I dunno what to tell you, he's Stick Elf. Even his library card just says 'Stick Elf'.
Guard 1: Fuck yeah, the Stick Elf!
Guard 2: Maybe we could, like, ask him his name sometime?
Guard 1: Hey, look, Elrond's over there. He's old as balls too, maybe he knows?
Guard 2: Oh, we shouldn't interru-
Guard 1: HEY ELROND, YOU'RE OLD AS BALLS, RIGHT? WHAT'S THAT OLD ELF WITH THE STICK'S NAME?
Elrond (coming over): Do you mean an old man cloaked all in grey and blue, leaning on a rough-cut staff, who came to the great library this day?
Guard 1: Yeah, the Stick-Elf!
Guard 2: (Sorry to bother you, sir...)
Librarian: He's got to have a real name besides 'the Stick Elf', right?
Elrond: Indeed, for no elf is he. You speak of the wizard Olórin, wisest of the Maiar, older even than Eä itself. Many are his names in many countries: Tharkûn among the Dwarves; Incánus to the south; Mithrandir he is called among my people, the Grey Pilgrim.
Librarian: Oh.
Elrond: And here in the North he is called Stick-Elf.
Librarian: Oh.
Guard 1: Fuck yeah!
#fun fact: the Khuzdul name Tharkûn means 'staff-man'#so the Dwarves also call him 'the stick guy'#on the naming of things#sufficiently verbose prose#that's what I'm Tolkien about
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The fact I stopped painting my nails for a while because I thought painting them too much was damaging them and making them peel, only to find out that my 2 favourite base coats have an ingredient that causes peeling, is genuinely frustrating
#base coats in question were holo taco pink smoothing base and orly bonder; ingredient in question is pvb#polyvinyl butrate or something? idk#i literally thought my nails were just SO horrendously dry from being painted so much. and come to find out the base that’s supposed#to protect them is causing them to peel#when i tell you my nails don’t need encouragement to get damaged… i bit them for like 24 years of my life and only stopped last august#they’re thin due to genetics and i DON’T need them peeled thanks#i’m just going to use mooncat hardcore base from now on#it’s frustrating because it’s not as sticky as orly bonder and it’s not a ridge filler but at least it isn’t slowly killing my nails#i do also have ht’s quick dry base but it doesn’t do what the name would suggest. orly bonder is probably my fastest drier#followed by mooncat hardcore. ht smoothing is the slowest drier it takes SO long#maybe not as long as the opi one i used to use but in comparison to the rest it’s not great#gonna stick to mooncat for most things i think from now on. their top coat is my absolute favourite#ht’s aren’t bad but they take too long to dry. seche vite just causes SO much shrinkage i refuse to use it anymore#i’m not doing a whole ass manicure just to put sv on and have it peel the whole thing back from my free edge and scrunch it up#like who do you think you are. speed demon would never#does it protect from chips? honestly not as much as i would hope but neither does glossy taco#and considering i go through life doing dumb shit like using my nails as tools and sitting on my hands and shit… i mean i’d chip too#if i were my polish#this post brought to you by honestly i just applied the arsonist from mooncat and i don’t want to smudge it because i love how it turned out#so i’m just sat on my phone with my hands in a weird position#personal
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having a midlife crisis atm i think i might start reading [redacted] this is rly scary for me keep me in your thoughts
#i dont know yet. i might not#its been tempting me lately ............ which is weird bc ive never much been interested in the genre like at all its just been sticking i#my head like fungus lately. We will see i suppose#im blaming like 8 of my oomfies for this#rly not that big a deal if i do ig its not like a bad thing im just confused as to why ive recently become interested in it. it was like i#saw one post and its not like the first post ive even seen abt it i see them always but i saw one and then i went in the tags for ages and#i just have been thinking abt it non-stop....#i havent like spoiled myself for anything idt ive been like passively spoiled for years bc its hard to avoid. i cant elaborate anymore.....#IDK im just confused bc like i said ive never much cared for [genre] aside from like ... [well known example of movie in genre]...... and i#have like known abt it my whole life obviously im just very confused. this post isnt vague enough its probably quite obvious#yep thats right im reading. um. fahrenheit 451. joke#that was assigned reading once i think its the first assigned reading ever where i didnt read it but that was bc it was like. it was so#weird how that teacher did the assignments bc they didnt Hand out the books they just like . expected ppl to read them on their free time ?#like none of us received the books sometimes on google classrooms theyd post A chapter of the graphic novel version#and the assignments were all rly unclear and like. Idk maybe i was stupid but i remember talking abt it with my friends back then and nobod#knew what was going on At all#and it wasnt like. they didnt post every chapter on google classroom itd be like. an excerpt from chapter 13 and then chapter 5 and then on#page from 24 and then wed go in and the questions were abt chapter 8 like. it was rly confusing#all those chapters or we r made up idr. ots all quite fuzzy#but yeah. so despite being assigned it kn class and i think passing i genuinely know absolutely nothing abt f451 aside from i used to get i#mixed up w 1984 alllll the time and i still do a bit. but 1984 is the one with bigbrother and f451 is um. bookburning ... i assume#sry i sound rly stupid . im not trying to diminish them or anything i just dk#also when i say midlife crisis yes i know typically 19 is not considered the middle of your life and it prolly isnt for me lol. but im#saying midlife 1 as a joke 2 it could be like Amid life which could be like any point during my life it could be if i turned 70 and had a#crisis itd still be mid life#and rly if you consider it as like. life is everything between birth and death then its all in the middle of tour life bc the middle is jus#thing in between those 2 things ok#sry ive always found it mildly annoying and also quarter life crisis sounds stupid and my ass is not living to#76 are you kiddingggg. 50s at the latest most likely#<- not planning anything or like not wanting to grow old i just have exclusive info others dont have (cant talk abt it LOL) abt that stuff
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