#I just live here

[shikishake]

today in "shiki finds something neat and proceeds to obsess over it for weeks or months", I started playing Project Sekai. y'know, the hatsune miku gacha game about lesbians and gays. that's what it's about, I promise.

that is, until I started fucking thinking about it more, and now I... well it's still about lesbians and gays, but also I think it's saying something about music. maybe. or maybe I'm projecting my own ideas about music onto a story, that could be it too. I did that with bandori but it was less comprehensive so I didn't post it.

so like. there's 5 units, each of 4 people, right? and they're like, entirely different groups, both in how they formed, what the dynamic is between them and what kind of music they make. leo/need is a group of childhood friends making a band, more more jump is an up and coming idol group headed by a newbie who re-ignited the passions of three retired/disillusioned veterans, vivid bad squad is a community-focused street group, wonderlandsxshowtime is a theme park musical theatre group, and nightcord at 25:00 is a group of depressed teenagers who met online coming together to make music about how depressed they are. that last one sounds negative but I don't know how else to describe it. they're my favorite though, so y'know. no hate.

but like. that's surface level stuff, obviously. and when you dig a little deeper, I think each of these units has a theme, more specifically a way to "use" music to express certain ideas.

leo/need is music as a way of connecting, and of staying connected, with the people you care about. it's a group of friends who had drifted apart, finding each other again through music. it's using music to take hold of the things that matter to you, the people you love, and keeping them tight against you. it's music as a way to stay grounded and aware of the people around you.

more more jump is music as a way of reaching for your dreams, of shooting for the stars. it's music as a way of igniting passions and inspiring hope. it's music as a goal, it's music as a goalpost to run toward, and it's music as a way to give others a reason to run with you. it's music as something that you give yourself to more and more and more.

vivid bad squad is music as community, as a way of reaching out and meeting new people, making new connections, finding new experiences, chasing new dreams. it's music as something that matters only in the moment it's made, it's music as something that doesn't need to be bought or sold, it's music as a group of people coming together to MAKE something. it's music that defines itself by the people who listen to it, not just the people who make it.

those three are kind of a trifecta of... not quite foils, but something close. they play off each other. leo/need's music as a way of staying connected with what you have vs vivid bad squads' music as a way of reaching out for something new. vivid bad squads' music as something home-grown and home-bound, something that reaches out NEAR to you, something for a community and by a community, for the people you know vs more more jump's music as something for the world, something kind of corporate but more than that something that reaches out FAR, made for the people that DON'T know you for anything except the image you put out. leo/need's passion for music as an end goal and more more jump's passion for music as a means TO an end, where leo/need strives to perform better because they want to have their music hit harder (aka for the sake of making better music) where more more jump strives to perform better because they want to reach more people.

and like. I KNOW what niigo, nightcord at 25:00, is. it's music as a way to heal, it's music as a way to preserve, it's music as a way to face the hardships of the past and keep going. it's music as life, as something that GRANTS life. it's music as a way to say "hey. life sucks. but it won't always." it's music as a way to save, as a way to find the light in a place that feels so so so dark, it's music as something that expresses the darkness, indulges in it, but at the end of the day it gives you a warm hug and says "it's dark and scary and painful, but we'll get out of here together." it's music that provides comfort specifically BY facing the dark head on.

but I struggled to figure out exactly what wonderlandsxshowtime was. there's the surface level answer, of music as a way to make people smile, but that's... like, have you read the lyrics to their commissioned songs? it's dark. the peppy tone and upbeat voices mask it well, but the things they're talking about aren't JUST about making you smile. but it's also not about masking pain WITH a smile, because they're too genuine. tsukasa, emu, rui and nene aren't hiding pain. they're not faking it. even when the stories show that they had troubles in the past or even still have troubles now, they're not a secret that has been uncovered, they're explanations and explorations of WHY they are who they are. tsukasa isn't faking his enthusiasm, his passion for acting and performing. his wish to become a star isn't FAKE, even through the loneliness of the past. emu isn't hiding some dark past, she's genuinely just like this, even during the more serious moments with her family. nene is shy, sure, but it's not like it took digging or even a lot of time for her to start being her true sassy self towards the rest. rui's lonely because him being himself scared people away, but it's not like he's NOT himself because of that. he's completely and fully his genuine self, and if people don't like that then so be it. he's the lonely alchemist, sure, but he never pretended to NOT be the alchemist.

so I struggled a little. until I realized that wxs and niigo are foils, too, in a very unexpected way.

wxs is death. it's endings. it's music as a way to acknowledge the inevitable end, and face that with a smile. it's music as the realization that everything you know, everything you love, will someday stop, and how to keep going despite that. it's music that looks at the hardships of the future and says "but even so, we'll smile". it's seeing the end of the ride coming into view but screaming and cheering even as it starts to reach the final descent. it's the merry-go-round that keeps spinning and spinning and spinning until it can't anymore, until it ALL stops.

niigo is life, the darkness surrounding you and the fire in the distance. wxs is death, fanning the flames with a smile as the dark encroaches.

niigo finds the light in the dark, wxs does its damnedest to keep hold of it.

niigo faces the massive road ahead and whispers "we haven't even started yet."

wxs approaches the end of the road and screams "we haven't even started yet".

[praise-the-lord-im-dead]

Why is the ship Roche/Ciri is bad? Why always "no" ? Why is your fandom so angry?

Feeling very 'is Jake Gyllenhaal gay' about this and the other like, eight asks about obscure Witcher fandom shipping drama currently sitting in my inbox

[spidey-bie]

I love how my mind works. I get a frog plushie and now all of a sudden Ansi has a pet frog named Charlie that she picked up in a bog somewhere while on a walk with Hobie.

[alteredsu]

Yes, I'm cute

No, I am not okay

[toytanks]

i have yet to figure out your vibe or how to interact with you

ME NEITHER 💥💥💥💥

[ddrsammusnacks]

Eiden stuck in a perpetual nightmare, inspired by Ib

[thylionheart]

“No, I don’t have any religious trauma”

Bruv… you still think that every mistake is a sin and it is both possible and a moral obligation to avoid making mistakes FUCK OFF

[superbrightsunset]

Hurt/Comfort lovers and whumpers when they get their grubby little hands on a great anime series with fantastic performers in both dubbed and subbed like—

[absolute-flaming-trash]

desperately need more of ur alastor x reader fics the way you write him is delicious 💓🙏🏾

You're so kind, thank you!

There's more coming, don't worry, I just don't know when.

[just-a-tiny-goldfish]

Love how there’s so many post abt teaching ppl how to use tumblr- I have been here since I could find porn and no ads and I still have no clue how to use it

[queerpyracy]

always a thrilling experience when you’re the guy someone is making up to get mad at

[briars-by-any-other-name]

.

[brainrotallthewaydown1312]

as much as it pains me to change my blog theme, the season of BBC Merlin approaches and I am but a prisoner to my autism. I'll probably change it back to l&co when the season of the gay magic is done but I must follow the brain worms

[princenightshade]

Being gender fluid is like “I wanted to be Morticia, so I became Gomez. Then I wanted to be Gomez, so I became Morticia.”

[clinticalthinkr]

I'd like to put it out here that I have been on tumblr since 2014 but I still have no idea what "prev tags" mean or why people get mad about it.

[dont-read-this-im-dead]

Reblogging because MOOD

"we're all sort of making it up at the end of the day" is definitely one of those beautifully true and reusable quotes originating from a context you wouldn't expect*

*trumps lawyer said this in court today when probed on what he is basing a legal assertion he made on