#and marisol and kim too

[howdoichooseablogname]

taylor starts a 'exes of the 118 support group'

she tracks down abby (after hearing about her from buck) and tatiana (now that took some digging), she also manages to get eva involved???

but some people were eager to join. ana, ali

others were asked to join

its just a group chat were they talk about whatever, but whenever the 118 does anything crazy (which why does it seem to be a weekly occurrences??) they end up talking about the 118. when times get rough they will also talk about their experiences with dating the 118

maybe in one universe where buck and taylor stay friends she tells him about this. and mention the fact many of them are betting on buddie, so he better make buddie happen so she wins and she'll split the winnings 50/50 (he can share his 50 with eddie)

also, for extra crack, marisol and kim end up becoming texting besties. after they talk about the whole eddie situation. taylor and ana rekindle thier friendship and maybe start dating (buck is the one who breaks the news to eddie and that is what makes eddie realize "wait. maybe i can be gay", natalia ends up winning the buddie bet if so)

tommy is there too and it's really awkward with abby. ali is the one who tells her that maybe she makes people gay. he ends up saying something that made taylor and tatiana call him out for misogyny. natalia wonders how buck could have dated him, and marisol mentioned that perhaps buck didn't know (cause she was around for his bi awakening)

if buck and taylor are still friends (they were amazing friends. i loved thier friendship so much!!!) she'd judge him hard for that. to his face

it will just be a silly fic to make people laugh. and hopefully make people bash some of these people less

no bashing allowed!

(especially with ana! why is it so bad with her? she's so nice!)

[watchyourbuck]

he’s literally having the time of his life bro this is gonna blow up so badly

[funtheysaid]

made one for iwtv, now time for my other hyperfixation

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Ohhhh.

I massively hate myself for putting this out into the universe, but what if Tim talking about a tree falling in relation to Eddie is actually a reference to Abuela dying? 😭😭😭

That this pillar of his life - someone who has supported him and loved him - the matriarch of the family - is going to die and leave him feeling uprooted and lost.

Narratively it would make sense as it can help Eddie and Chris reconnect and also play into the Shannon of it all at the same time - as well as helping build into queer Eddie and buddie!

[dazzle02]

9-1-1 Love Interests

I've decided I'm just gonna write a total defence of all of Buck and Eddie's previous love interests because the amount of hate they get is insane. I will go in order of appearance. I will not be including Tommy as this is more about the Misogyny towards the female love interests. But I love him and his relationship with Buck...

Abby Clark

Now, she was NOT perfect and I'm not gonna pretend she was. But she wasn't a monster either. First of all, contrary to what people love to claim, she was not a paedophile or predator. Buck was an adult even in Season 1.

Getting Buck's number from the system was weird, I'm not going to deny that. But let's not pretend she was just getting it to try and get a hook-up or anything, the first time she calls him is to check in after his first loss on the job.

All through their relationship she was dealing with her Mothers sickness and then her death. Buck was great through it all, and it really sucks for him that she left after all that, but she desperately needed to find herself and get out of LA.

I will forever be mad at her for not just ending things with him the second she knew she wasn't coming back though. She shouldn't have ghosted him like that. As soon as she realised she wasn't going back, she should've called him up and said so. Instead she just slowly stopped replying to his texts and calls and left him to figure it out on his own.

She didn't do anything wrong with the train stuff though. Of course she was worried about her fiancé! It sucks that Buck had to be the one to be faced with that, but she didn't call him up and ask him to come save her fiancé. He saw her, she admitted what was going on and then he went to do his job. (And of course he went further than just doing his job because he refused to let Abby's fiancé die. But she didn't ask him to do that...)

I didn't like her "apology" though. I wish she actually acknowledged what she actually did wrong, and that is not communicating and just ghosting him instead of ending things like the adult she is.

Overall, I'm not a huge fan of her. But some of the takes I see make me uncomfortable.

Ali Martin

Now Ali really did nothing wrong. This will likely be the shortest part as we didn't see much of her. Which I think is a shame...

She had every right to break up with Buck when she realised she couldn't handle his job. But not only that, she waited until he was out of Hospital. She came to see him at the Hospital, she brought him home.

She ended things with him because she wasn't going to ask him to give up his job but she also knew that she couldn't handle a life of constantly worrying that her partner might not come home from work.

And that is okay.

Taylor Kelly

This will probably be the longest as she was around the longest...

Now obviously Taylor did some messed up stuff. In her very first episode she was more than happy to use the footage of Bobby nearly killing himself while drugged to get herself a better job.

But onto Season 4.

Honestly, she had every right to be upset with Buck for the whole "double date" thing. Do I like that she called him needy? Of course not. I hate when any character has their biggest insecurities thrown at them like that. But of course she was upset. And then later in the episode, she was grateful to him for helping out when she needed it. That story wasn't supposed to be a "oh no, mean Taylor called Buck names!" it was a story of Buck realising that he'd messed up and fixing it. And before all that she willingly listened to Buck's whole story about Albert and Veronica.

She helped Buck out with finding out the truth behind Sue's hit and run.

When Eddie was shot she came to the Hospital just to be there for Buck. She didn't do any story on the shooting because someone she cared about was involved and she was just there for him instead. And sure, we could say that's just human decency, but it IS her job. She was likely told to do a piece on it. But she didn't.

I don't like their first(ish) kiss. (I mean, it's a good kiss, but the circumstances aren't ideal...) I don't like that it was while Buck was clearly going through the trauma of seeing his best friend get shot, and Eddie wasn't even awake yet. And it was right after Buck's climb up the crane definitely hoping he'd get shot (we've all seen the smile on his face as he sees just how exposed he is). And I don't like that she then left. I think that scene could've been a really good scene if they hadn't kissed. She was understandably upset with Buck for risking his life like that. Showing she cares.

But she came back. And she clearly was sorry for leaving like she did. And then she was at Eddie's Welcome Home Party!

And now onto Season 5.

She was very understanding when Maddie and Chimney were gone. She reassured him that everyone at work likely weren't actually mad at him. She knew he missed them and that he was hurting due to everything that happened. And she was the one he felt able to be open about his feelings on being the only one who didn't get to say goodbye to Chim.

She was constantly there for Buck while he was struggling due to a tough case or personal stuff.

She had her story with her Dad, and understandably needed to handle that her own way. Like she said, this was HER childhood trauma not Buck's. Of course he was concerned when he felt like she was pulling away, he also has his own issues. But she had every right to deal with her stuff with her Dad in the way she was comfortable with.

And people love to say she was being rude during that dinner scene at Eddie's. But Buck literally told her to eat before they got there because he didn't trust Eddie's cooking. She genuinely wasn't hungry. And she was polite about it too!

And then HE CHEATED ON HER! And then asked her to move in instead of telling her the truth. I'm glad he eventually told her, but that was after she'd already moved in and so she didn't have her own place to go to.

And I can believe Taylor being able to forgive the cheating. One drunken kiss in my opinion can be forgivable. But I don't know that I would've been able to forgive the position he put her in of finding out after she'd already moved in. (I understand Buck's side to all this, but Taylor did NOT deserve any of it...)

Also, he never told Taylor that he was now working with the woman he kissed. She figured it out herself, yes, but he didn't tell her. (Again, I can understand that he probably didn't want her to feel uncomfortable or anything, but I think that was something she deserved to know...)

Taylor never had a problem with Buck's friendship with Eddie either, or his relationship with Chris. That's all totally made up. In fact she literally helped Buck find Charlie to help Eddie start to heal. And this was after he said no to getting her in touch with Lucy for her story. Yes, he offered her other intel, but he refused what she'd actually wanted.

She also totally understood Buck's dynamic with the 118. She had her whole speech to Lucy about it in May Day. Talking about how when things are bad at the 118 he falls apart and how she would hate for that to happen again. Yes, this was due to her figuring out Lucy was who Buck had cheated with and she was upset. But that scene completely proves that she understood and respected Buck's dynamic with the 118...

And now we get onto the Jonah stuff. To be clear, I do not like that she did what she did here. She promised she wouldn't. She didn't just promise Buck either, she also promised Hen and Chim. And by doing her report anyway, she not only betrayed all their trust, she also put people at risk and also as we later learn she risked Buck's job.

She was right when she said that Buck knew who she was from the start. And of course she didn't wanna be something he learns to live with. That's not what anyone would want out of a relationship.

And they actually ended on good terms.

The whole book thing that was revealed in Season 6 was just weird, but we don't have enough information on that to really judge one way or another. I do generally dislike people writing books about other people without their permission though...

Shannon Diaz

I will defend Shannon forever! She was treated so unfairly and it makes me so angry!

I will get this out of the way. No, I don't like that she left Christopher.

Now into my defence!!!

She was a kid when she got pregnant. Just like Eddie was. Only, she was the woman. She was the one who likely got slut shamed and ridiculed. She was also the one who had to go through the actual pregnancy and child birth.

Men get away with these things. Sure, Eddie was very likely ridiculed too, growing up Catholic and all. But he wasn't getting called slurs. Shannon more than likely was.

And as a result of her pregnancy, she is now getting married. And she loves Eddie, so she probably thinks that it won't be too bad. They'd probably get married eventually anyway.

Only he enlists into the Army in order to provide for her and the baby. And she's left having to deal with everything without him. The pregnancy was likely rough, she would've had her In-Laws smothering her and telling her how to do everything even before Chris was born.

And it doesn't seem like her Mum was in Texas at this point? Her arriving at the Hospital surprised everyone. So it seems she'd already moved?

So basically Shannon was dealing with it all alone.

Then Chris was born and Eddie was almost immediately gone again. And I truly believe she likely had PPD.

So she was raising her son alone. With her overbearing In-Laws who didn't believe she was capable of taking care of her own son. Who clearly didn't like her much either.

But there's a silver lining. Eddie's Tour was almost over. Only Christopher got diagnosed with CP and Eddie reenlisted without even discussing it with her! Again, leaving her to raise their son alone. Again, leaving her alone with his parents. Leaving her to deal with this diagnosis alone.

So she's basically raising Chris all alone. And Eddie even admits to Buck that he'd reenlisted because he was scared and was running.

But then hey, Eddie's home after being discharged. And he's traumatised. And she understands that, she does. But she's going through stuff herself.

And then her Mum was DYING and she asked Eddie to go with her so she could take care of her and he refused. Her Mother was literally dying.

So of course she left to do it herself. And she shouldn't have left Chris. He didn't deserve that at all, he was a kid and she was the only constant parent he'd had.

But I totally get it.

And she felt that she was the reason Chris had CP and that she did something wrong, and it's so unlikely she was ever told otherwise until that moment in S2. In fact, it's more likely she had all that confirmed for her by others. (This is one of the main things that makes me think she might've had PPD she was never treated for...)

She was alone in everything.

And her asking Eddie for a Divorce. THAT WAS NOT HER LEAVING CHRISTOPHER AGAIN! I see so many people say that she was about to leave Chris again before she died, but that's just NOT true.

She literally said she wanted the Divorce to make sure she didn't. Because she knew she needed to focus on being a Mother to Chris, and that also trying to focus on a marriage that was never really good was just going to make that harder.

She wanted to be there for Chris. She knew Chris needed to be her number one priority, and she didn't want anything getting in the way of that. And the number one threat to that was her marriage to Eddie.

And maybe they would've eventually found their way back to each other if she'd lived. Maybe a Divorce would've been exactly what they needed to learn to truly be coparents and partners and they could've started their relationship up again in a much healthier way. Who knows.

And let's not forget that it's not just Eddie's parents who clearly hated her. Abuela and Pepa were clearly not fans of her either. I hope that they weren't that way with her before she left and that it was just anger over her leaving. But no one really ever tried to understand what was going on with her.

Eddie says it himself that they both ran, but he got to hide behind being a Hero fighting for his Country and she just got called a terrible mother and wife. And yes, he still had contact with them while he was gone and Shannon didn't. But that doesn't mean he was there for either of them during that time.

And I'm not saying Eddie is a bad Dad or anything. But his story is literally him learning how to be a good Dad. Learning it's more important that he's there.

And Shannon's death. She deserved better! I hate that they killed her just as she was back in Chris' life and coming to terms with what she needed for herself in order to be the Mother Chris deserved.

Shannon Diaz, I love you!!!

Ana Flores

She was done so dirty!!

Yes, she should've been paying more attention to the kids on the playground. The incident with the skateboard wasn't good and teachers need to pay attention to their students or they could get seriously hurt. But it was a mistake and Chris was okay and she had no way of knowing one of the kids had brought a skateboard. And most of all, she completely acknowledged her fault in the whole thing.

And when was she Ableist? I'm sorry. I see this often and I just don't get it. Was it what she said to Eddie about limitations? Sometimes we have got limitations. Everyone does. Yes, Buck and Eddie found a way to get Chris on a skateboard, but not everyone is going to be able to do that. She was literally saying what Eddie had been saying to Chris earlier in the episode. That sometimes someone can do something that someone else can't, but then there could be something that first person can't do that the other person can. Idk, that's just how I read that. If I'm wrong, tell me.

Then in S4 they ran into each other again and they were both happy to see each other. Eddie was flirting! It wasn't like she was aggressively hitting on him while he was totally uninterested and telling her to stop. And they went out, because Eddie decided he was ready to try.

And she never pushed for Eddie to tell Chris about them. The opposite in fact! she offered to come by and help with his homework if he needed it, but she also said she understood him not telling Chris they were dating yet. She would've just gone by to help out as his old teacher. Then when Eddie did tell Chris he was dating someone and he reacted badly, she offered to take a break from the relationship until he was ready. Because she understood that it was a sensitive subject!

And Chris very much adored her. Idk where people get the idea that he hated her from. He was very happy to see her when Eddie invited her over to tell Chris who he was dating. He was constantly happy to be spending time with her.

She was the one who figured out there was something going on with Charlie and his Mum. She literally found out through trying to donate to help them out. She literally figured it out through being a good person.

When Eddie was shot she didn't leave his side. And she CALLED BUCK WHEN HE WOKE UP! Like Taylor, people have this weird idea that she had a problem with Buck's place in Eddie and Chris' lives, but she so clearly didn't. In fact it seems like she and Buck likely communicated quite a bit when Eddie was shot, with him staying with Chris and her with Eddie. I highly doubt she didn't check in to see how Chris was doing, and Buck also would've checked in with her to see how Eddie was doing. And she also didn't seem to have any problem with Buck being the one to get Eddie from the Hospital.

And onto Season 5...

She invited Eddie and Chris to a family event. She wasn't pressuring him into going or anything, she invited her boyfriend and his son to a Christening and they said yes.

She was the one to correct that she wasn't Chris' Mother, because she knows that's not a place that can just be filled. She knows no one can replace Shannon, and she was never trying to. (Which is something I've seen people say she wanted to do...)

It was NOT her fault Eddie had a panic attack. It wasn't actually about HER. It was about the idea of someone replacing Shannon and the idea of actually being a family.

And all through the Blackout she was with Chris. She brought Eddie food and brought Chris by to say hi. She was great.

But Eddie clearly isn't all in with her. He admits that. And let's do some calculations here... Carla could see this at the end of Season 4, she could see that he wasn't all in on that relationship. In 5x01 Ana says that Eddie was shot 4 months ago, which happened like the day after he and Carla had that conversation. So that's 4 months of her basically being led on. Most likely taking care of him after the shooting, helping with Chris, all this stuff.

And it's not like she just showed up at his work to demand to be introduced to everyone. She was bringing his son by with food. (Another thing I have seen people claim...)

Buck and Eddie's conversation about Ana. That was NOT Buck telling Eddie to break up with Ana for the sake of it, or because Ana wasn't good or anything. That was him saying that ANA deserved better. Because he understood Ana from his relationship with Abby. That conversation was Buck telling Eddie that HE was in the wrong here and that it wasn't fair to Ana for him to stay with her.

And the breakup! No, that was AWFUL!

She'd been there taking care of Chris for DAYS! And she and Chris are bonding over the baking they'd been doing and talking about what they should make next and Eddie just kicks her out.

It was all overwhelming for him, I get it. And when you're overwhelmed things can come out in really awful ways. But she did not deserve that!

So she goes to the kitchen so they can talk without upsetting Chris. And she starts trying to clean up the mess from all the baking. But Eddie stops her and she knows it's over. She's not stupid. She knows Eddie doesn't feel the same way about her as she does him.

Her line "I'm sorry about the mess, but I guess it's your mess now." Is NOT her being evil! She tried to clean up, but Eddie stopped her and then broke up with her. What was she supposed to do? Stick around in the house of the guy that just dumped her and clean his kitchen? Hell no!

And then she goes to say bye to Chris because she cares about him and he really liked her.

Oh, and the Edmundo thing. Eddie never told her not to call him that. He never seemed to have a problem with it either. It was literally the thing they first bonded over. Her correctly guessing his full name first try when most people don't. So I'm pretty sure that her calling him that was a reference to that.

She did nothing wrong.

Marisol

Let's just start with the fact that she didn't even have a last name! She deserved a last name.

Okay. She was introduced to the show for a call where her brother nearly died. She didn't do anything wrong there. Buck and Eddie bring a few other guys over at the end of the episode so they can all fix up her house. Because they destroyed it. (That should be a thing. Is that a thing? A service that will clean up and fix things that Emergency Services have had to destroy? It should be...)

Then she and Eddie run into each other, they flirt, she likes him and he likes her. Things are fine. He's excited to get a date with her. (Yes, it was all rushed due to outside forces... But still...)

Into Season 7 they're dating. Things are apparently going well. She's chaperoning Chris' date with Eddie, she's literally not doing anything wrong. He invited her, this is their date too.

She is CONSTANTLY being used as free childcare (Chris is a teen, but for some reason childcare sounds less infantilising that babysitter...) while Eddie goes to hang out with his new friend.

Then Eddie asked her to move in with him. Little early, but sure. So she does, she moves all her stuff in. Then Eddie finds out she used to be a Nun and freaks out.

Used to be. As in not anymore. She decided that's not what she wanted.

And okay, that can still bring stuff up for Eddie due to his own Religious upbringing, but she did nothing wrong.

He was avoiding her. He'd just asked her to move in with him, and now he's immediately avoiding her.

And she explains that she's very used to people having negative reactions when finding out she was a Nun. Which, yeah. And the sexualisation stuff is AWFUL!

Then Eddie doesn't want her moving in with him and so she moves back into her house. Meaning she has to take everything back and unpack it all over again there.

And now we really get into it. Eddie starts seeing his dead wife's doppelganger behind her back! He claims he wasn't cheating because there was no sex, but it was emotional cheating. Which can be so much worse.

And she walks in on them together. She had been spending time with HIS SON, and gets back to find him cheating on her.

And I bet that if we saw the aftermath of that with Marisol ending things and being angry at him, people would somehow vilify her for it.

Marisol did nothing wrong. Was she particularly interesting? No. But she wasn't some evil witch either.

Natalia Dollenmeyer

Okay, I think she might actually be the one I struggle to defend the most. Mostly due to how little we actually saw her.

I don't like her reaction to Buck's death all that much, I do think it was uncomfortable and inappropriate. But I don't think it was quite as awful as people make it out to be. That was what Buck was looking for at that point. He didn't wanna face the trauma part of it, and so he jumped at the chance when he found someone who was intrigued by it. If she'd been talking about how cool it was and Buck had told her it made him uncomfortable and yet she kept going, then it'd be a bigger deal.

Her reaction to people from Buck's life showing up was a bit extreme. They ran into one person he'd kissed once, saw his ex on TV (due to her being a reporter) once, and Kameron showed up. I can understand everything feeling a bit much though. Kameron showing up was definitely the nail in the coffin in that moment, but then Buck apparently just like told her his whole dating history and everything about Conner and Kameron? Which I think was kinda unnecessary. But hey.

But she came back. She wanted to apologise because she'd had time to really think about everything and knew she'd possibly overreacted. She didn't freak out over Buck having to deliver the baby on his couch, she did what she could to help.

And hey, Buck broke up with her because they just weren't clicking. It just wasn't working.

In Conclusion...

You can dislike these characters. You can dislike the ships. But a lot of the hate comes from Misogyny. None of these women were evil monsters who abused Buck or Eddie. They were human beings who were going through their own stuff. And a lot of the things people hate about them isn't actually even canon. I'm not saying they're perfect and never did anything wrong ever, but come on...

[flimsy-spine]

obsessed with how 7.09 is one giant 'OHHH!!' after another. 911 you are so messy

[fruitydiaz]

did eddie take kim back to his place after their dinner because. if he did. what did he do with all the pictures of shannon

[etherealplans]

putting this out there but im very convinced eddies mustache is part of a whole macho leaning into masculinity thing and shaving it pff is going to be him accepting his queerness

like he lost his son, his life is falling apart, and what have we seen eddie do really consistently when things go to shit? think about fight club era, how after the shooting he put up all his walls, how when chris was born he went to the fucking military. his dad always told him to “man up” essentially and time and time again we see that mindset be his last thing to fall back on when everything else is bad.

anyway i think hes trying to be more masculine at the start of 8a and part of that will be an actual queerness repression arc but the shaving scene that tim minear mentioned will be him getting off the hamster wheel of that for lack of a better word

[deadnatura11]

WHAT IF THE REASON EDDIE, THE DIAZES, AND BUCK ARE IN THE HOSPITAL IS BECAUSE KIM AND MARISOL FIND OUT ABOUT EACH OTHER AND EDDIE GETS CAUGHT AND HAS A PANIC ATTACK AND PASSES OUT?

[the-family-we-choose-118]

Never getting over Eddie's go to pickup line being him telling the person his name is Edmundo

[userbuddie]

"You mentioned your best friend. Earlier, in the confession booth, you mentioned feeling guilty for lying to him. Why?"

Eddie stares at the priest, and there are a million answers on the tip of his tongue, a million things that would explain the why better than just shrugging and going—

"It's Buck."

The priest looks at him like this means nothing to him, which. It doesn't. Blinks at Eddie like he's waiting for him to elaborate.

"Buck's my best friend, but he's—he's more than that, right, he's my constant. For the past what? six years? It's been him, you know? I mean, Chris loves him. He's who I call when I don't know what else to do, and he was the one there in the aftermath of everything that went down with Kim and Marisol. Of course I feel guilty for lying to him, he's..." Eddie trails off, doesn't know quite how to finish that without tearing his chest open and laying his heart directly on the table.

The priest smiles.

"Buck?"

Eddie feels a little too seen suddenly and doesn't know why. Doesn't get why his chest hurts, why his palms ache like there are nails going through them. The priest is eyeing him gently, though, bible open in front of him.

"Yeah," Eddie says, suddenly feeling entirely too small. "He's Buck."

[mintedwitcher]

Here's the thing. I don't want this cheating arc to culminate in a buddie thing. I don't want a revelation, I don't want a confession. I sure as shit DO NOT want a kiss. I dont want buddie to be tainted by this cheating arc and I do not want Eddie Diaz to make a twice-over cheater out of Buck.

When things blow up between them - because it will. It's inevitable - I want it to be because Buck is finally seeing Eddie as he is: a flawed, fucked up, traumatised man with layers of guilt so dense they've solidified into an iron cast around Eddie. I want it to be because Eddie has been lying to him, USING him to get free time to see his sidepiece, using CHRIS as a bargaining tool to keep Buck quiet and out of the way. I want it to be because Eddie just needs someone, anyone, his BEST FRIEND to tell him that he's not horrible for this. That his actions are wrong but understandable. That Buck is going to have Eddie's back in this like he does for everything else.

And when it's proven that Buck isn't going to back him, I want Eddie to lash out. I want him to drag up the Lucy of it all, I want him to make a dig at Tommy. I want him to fight dirty about it and I want Buck to fight right back. I want it to be explosive and heated and insane. I want them both to say things they don't mean, and I want BUCK to be the one who walks out.

I want Eddie to crash and burn with the guilt of it and confess to Marisol and Kim, and I want them to drop him faster than he can apologise.

I want him to try and come clean to Chris, only for Chris to get mad at him too because "You keep doing this! You keep trying to find me a new mom and I don't want one! I don't need one!" I want him to be angry and hurt because what Eddie does in his personal life affects Chris too, and Eddie CLEARLY isn't thinking about that right now.

I need it messy. I need it agonising. I need it raw.

I do NOT want this to be the lead-in to buddie or even a queer awakening arc. I need this to be THE wakeup call that Eddie has been in dire need of since Shannon died. I need this to be the moment where Eddie realises that he doesn't need to be a boyfriend or a husband to be happy.

(And then I need someone to drag him kicking and screaming to Frank's office and put that man back through therapy because CLEARLY he needs more of it.)

[simplylupin]

Vertigo and Eddie Diaz

because the connection has been made between eddie's current arc and hitchcock's vertigo, i thought i'd give my two cents on the topic as a mediocre film student whose had to study vertigo for two years of her life

so here's a basic (very over-simplified) summary of vertigo for those who are unfamiliar

The protagonist, Scottie, is a policeman who took a break/was discharged/retired because he couldn't save a fellow police officer from falling off a building to his death

Because of this he suffers from vertigo and/or fear of heights

He's hired by his old friend Gavin to follow Gavin's wife, Madeline, for fear that she's been possessed by someone called Carlotta Valdez

He does so, and slowly falls in love with Madeline - and her him

We also learn that Scottie's best friend Midge is in love with him, but he's too obsessed with Madeline to notice Midge

Him and Madeline go to a church bell tower where Madeline seemingly offs herself by jumping off

Some time later, Scottie goes to Madeline's old hotel room, and finds a woman called Judy who looks exactly like Madeline

She agrees to go on a date with him

We, the audience, find out that Judy actually is Madeline (and vise versa). She was hired by Gavin to pretend to be Madeline.

Scottie grows more and more obsessed, forcing Judy to change her appearance to look like Madeline

He makes the connection that Madeline and Judy are the same person, and drives her to the bell tower

He forces her up the tower, over coming his fear of heights

Once at the top, they have a confrontation

A nun appears, scaring Judy and she once more falls to her death (really this time)

So, from what I've gathered, the loose connection between characters is:

Scottie = Eddie

Madeline = Shannon

Midge = Buck

Judy = Kim

The Nun = Marisol

Scottie's unable to save his fellow police officer. Eddie was unable to 'save' the people he pulled out the helicopter: "I pulled them out. But I didn't save them." Because of this he suffers from immense guilt and PTSD (as seen in his season 5 arc). He's unable to move on and this hinders him to a certain extent - just like Scottie.

After Shannon's death, he's thrown through the loop again, with the added bonus of him not having been able to save her too. Scottie's job was to save Madeline, and he failed at that, resulting in her 'death'.

Eddie is constantly trying to find a woman to fill that role of Shannon in his and Christopher's life; we see this with both Ana and now Marisol. He's looking for her in them. Scottie does the same - he visits the places he went with Madeline, he goes to her old room.

Eddie finds Kim, Scottie finds Judy.

For a little while, Judy helps Scottie get over and get closure on Madeline. She fills that empty space and allows him to move on. This is what I think Kim is going to do for Eddie.

She looks so much like Shannon but she simply isn't her. We know in later episodes that Buck is going to meet her and proclaim that she's "nothing like Shannon." There's a clear distinction there - Eddie is only seeing Shannon in her because he wants to, because he's still holding onto that idea. I think Kim is going to be the closing point of this ongoing search for Shannon's 'replacement'; someone who looks exactly like Shannon should be perfect, right? But when she too doesn't 'fill' that role that surely must spark some sort of realisation in Eddie, because if not her then who.

For Scottie, he feels betrayed by Judy. He brings her to the last place he saw Madeline, and ultimately, indirectly, causes her death. Obviously I don't believe Kim is actually going to die, but more the idea of her. She's the final chapter of him pursuing Shannon's ghost.

Midge is Scottie's best friend. They met in college and were engaged for a few weeks before breaking up. They spend a lot of time together, staying at each other's houses and going out. She helps Scottie through his vertigo and acrophobia, and tries to 'bring him back' in his grief. At one point, Midge paints her face onto a painting of Carlotta Valdez, showing that she's there and ready for Scottie's love, if he's willing to give it to her.

I believe, in this scenario, Buck takes on her role (for seemingly obvious reasons). Him and Eddie are best friends, they do so much together, he helps Eddie when he's struggling etc etc. Midge is the idea of the 'other woman', someone who is right in front of Scottie's eyes, someone whose always been there for him. However, Scottie is too obsessed and fixated on Madeline that he can't see this and continually brushes it away. You see where I'm going here...

Although Buck potentially doesn't even realize it himself, he has taken on Shannon's role in the Diaz family for years. Eddie already has the 'replacement' for Shannon that he's so desperately been searching for right in front of his eyes.

In Vertigo, Judy and Madeline are the same person, whereas Shannon and Kim are obviously not. However, the comparison still stands.

Scottie meets Judy and immedietely latches onto her because she looks so much like Madeline (duh) and he is so desperate for anything that'll keep Madeline's memory with him. He makes her undergo a series of phsyical changes (dyeing her hair, changing her wardrobe, her style etc etc) so that she appears more like Madeline - so he can get that closure and pretend.

Eddie clearly isn't going to do this to Kim. However, whatever way you spin it, he is projecting Shannon onto her. He saw her, and thought of Shannon, he pursued her because of that, he's doing all this because of Shannon. He is chasing that closure and that moment were he can be like 'Ah. I've finally found someone who can be Shannon for me and Chris.'

I doubt Kim is going to be around particularly long. As much as it sounds diminishing, she really is just a tool for Eddie to have this realization that nobody can replace Shannon, and that that's okay. He doesn't need to find Shannon 2.0.

Now, in Vertigo, when Scottie and Judy are arguing on the bell tower, a nun appears from the shadows and startles them - causing Judy to fall to her death. It's a very abrupt and out of nowhere.

The character of the nun, I think could represent either one of two things. Marisol, as we know, used to be a nun (i'm still not over this btw). That's a pretty straight-forward, clear cut comparison. The nun causes Judy to die, Marisol causes 'Shannon', and the idea of Shannon, to 'die'. This interpretation leans more heavily on Marisol and Eddie staying together, however, so I'm not sure.

The nun could also just represent religion as a whole, and Eddie's Catholic guilt particularly. Eddie tells Bobby that he only really married Shannon because he felt like he had to, he felt pressured into it because of his religious guilt. Despite this, "There was still a part of me that loved being married to her."

There's no doubt in my mind that Eddie loved Shannon. He did, they loved each other, and he still does love her - he always will. I do think that the choice of focussing on his marriage to her and how he "loved being married to her" is interesting though, he doesn't try to clarify that he was in love with her. This could just be because it's a given orrr

Whatever, not really the point.

The point is, the fact he's now "awakened" his Catholic guilt by finding out Marisol was a nun, must mean something for his upcoming arc. In Vertigo, the nun kills Judy. Here, his religious guilt 'kills' the idea of Shannon??

I'll definitely have more ideas about this later but this was my word vomit for now! Let me know what you think please.

(Also something I find funny is that the actress of Madeline/Judy is called Kim!)

[hotshotsxyz]

7x10 coda. beware the spoilers

Three months pass, and Eddie still isn’t used to it. It’s too quiet at home, and too awful at work, and he still grabs two bowls every morning even though he’s the only one eating.

He thinks about quitting, again. Leaving behind Captain Asshole and following Christopher to Texas. He knows he can’t. He’d promised. Eddie clenches his fists and forces himself to finish buttoning his uniform.

He sends Christopher a text, the same one he sends every morning, then shuts his phone in his locker.

“Line up in five,” Gerrard bellows from the loft. “If you’re late, you’ll be scrubbing the rig with a toothbrush, no exceptions.”

Eddie stands mechanically and walks over to the bay.

Another day, another goddamn reason to bury himself in blankets and hide until the world ends.

Buck invites him over for dinner most nights, or offers to go home with him. Eddie says no more than he says yes, but Buck… Buck’s always known Eddie better than he knows himself. He doesn’t stop asking.

“C’mon Eddie, it’ll be fun—you, me and Tommy, we can come up with ways to drive Gerrard insane.”

Buck looks at him, soft and imploring, an expression Eddie rarely knows how to refuse. But despite everything that’s happened, Buck’s managed to carve out a small sliver of happiness, and Eddie doesn’t want to drag him down.

“You go ahead,” he says. “I’m picking up half a shift at  the 136 tomorrow. Need to get some sleep.”

It’s true and it’s not. He is picking up the shift, but he doubts he’ll sleep.

He goes back to therapy, but he never knows what to say. It was all—everything was in his head, last time. It’s not, now. It’s all real, and it all hurts, and no amount of talking about it makes it hurt any less. He says as much to Frank.

“Then why are you here?” Frank asks.

Eddie looks away. “I don’t know,” he says.

That’s not quite true either.

Kim calls him, and Marisol doesn’t. She leaves voicemail after voicemail, apologizing for that night. Eddie can never bring himself to answer the phone. Eventually, he blocks her number.

He texts his own apology to Marisol, but it never goes through. It’s probably for the best—he doubts the message would’ve made either of them feel better.

Eddie needs—he doesn’t know. Before, he would’ve said time. Now though, he’s got all the time in the world, and he’s desperate to get rid of it.

Buck calls. Eddie can’t answer him, either. He lets it ring out, then listens to the voicemail.

“Hey Eds, it’s me. I uh—just wanted to check in. It’s been a couple days. Call me when you can.”

Eddie tells himself he will, but he has no idea when that’ll be.

Christopher doesn’t text him, but he does text Buck.

Eddie never asks what he says, and Buck usually doesn’t offer to tell him.

“Just—he’s okay, right?”

Buck smiles, a little bit sad, and leans into Eddie’s space. “He’s okay,” he says. “He misses you, even if he’s not ready to tell you that.”

Tears streak down Eddie’s face before he even realizes he’s crying. Buck wipes one away and pulls him against his chest.

“What if he never comes home,” Eddie whispers into the soft material of Buck’s sweater.

“He will,” Buck replies. “He will.”

Good morning, Eddie texts on the one hundred and second day since Christopher left. I love you, and I hope you have a good day.

He drops his phone on the table and tries not to hope for a response. A second later, though, it dings. Eddie’s heart leaps into his throat as he scrambles to open the message.

Morning, Dad.

[alkaysani]

i don't what it is, and i don't want to reduce it to buddie, but what if there is that "oh" realization and the devastating reality that maybe, this time, he's too late

like how everything about shannon was too fast. married to too fast, grew up too fast. died too fast, not enough time

everything after her has been like that as well. things with ana was too fast. things with marisol too, but he caught himself

and now he's trying again with kim, and he's going for that chase and that high, chasing a ghost going fast and fast and we know what happens with fast things, right

eventually they crash

and then everything slows down

and time catches up on you and eddie doesn't realize it at the moment, but the whole time, every time he ran out of steam, buck is at his side, matching his pace

when he needed support, an ear, a best friend, buck was at his side, step by step, synchronized. he's there whenever eddie crashes

and even still, buck is always there every time he found his motivation to chase things again

but this time for this crash, it's a little different, and when he loses gas, buck's not at his side because he's flying high on his own lane with tommy, and suddenly

eddie realizes that because he was going too fast on one lane chasing his grief and ghost

he ended up being too late to get to what he really, truly wanted

[theotherbuckley]

7x07 coda

Eddie knows that what he’s doing isn’t right. He knows that. That’s why he lies to his best friend. That’s why he lies to his son.

I mean, what is he going to say? “I saw someone who looks like your dead mum and now I’m going on a date with her.” He knows Chris would call him out. But he can’t not do this. She looks so much like her. Sounds so much like her. He gets the same feeling, the connection, the longing he had for her. 

He knows shes not her. He does. He tells himself one hundred times in front of the mirror after he sees her for the first time. She’s not Shannon. The hair’s all wrong. What he’s doing is wrong, he’s using her to fix some broken part of him that’s stuck in the middle of the street, lying on the road of the pedestrian crossing. So he knows it’s wrong, but he can’t make himself stop. When she asks him out for dinner he doesn’t say no. In fact, he says yes faster than he can even process her question. She smiles at him, her eyes crinkle at the edges exactly like Shannon. She tells him she can’t wait. He nods, smiles back. He can’t wait either. He ignores the way his insides squirm, begging him to think about his actions. He’s done thinking. This is his wife! How could he ever say no?

He wears the cologne that Shannon bought for Christmas. The last Christmas. She enters the restaurant and sits down in front of him. He tells her she looks beautiful, because she does, she always did. She’s wearing clothes that he knows Shannon would never pick herself but this isn’t Shannon, this is Kim. She’s close enough. 

She talks about her job, about her favourite things, and how much she likes the beach. Shannon always did like the beach. Eddie tells her about Chris. He cracks jokes he hopes will make her laugh and they do. He tries not to focus on the way her laugh is just slightly off in a way he can’t explain. 

Eddie pays for dinner, he pays as though he’s trying to make up for all the times that he let Shannon down. He walks her to her car. Lets her take his arm as though she belongs there. He kisses her good night. Ignores the way her perfume smells all wrong, smells too strong, almost pungent. Shannon always preferred muted scents, a floral hint. He kisses her anyway. Kisses her hard, like he’s trying to consume her, consume any piece of his dead wife that he can. 

She tells him she had a great time. She’d love to do it again. He nods and smiles as she leaves. Ignores the way his heart beats a little too fast. He watches her walk away.

His phone buzzes in his pocket and it startles him, his attention quickly turning from her. He wonders if it’s Buck. If maybe something happened to Chris. He can’t stop his mind from going there. 

It’s not him.

Marisol asks him if they’re still on for tomorrow. They had plans to try out the same restaurant he just left. Maybe that’s why that place had been on his mind. Eddie inhales. He ignores the tightening in his chest. It was his wife, he didn’t cheat. He’s already married. 

He’s sends his girlfriend a thumbs up. He bites his lip, wills the ringing in his ears to quiet. Tries to think of jello.

There’s jello in his veins, smoothly flowing. His legs are jello, arms are jello. Breathe breathe breathe.

He can’t breathe.

He closes his eyes shut tight. Clenches his fist until the nails dig into his skin. He inhales. Holds for four. Exhale. 

Opens his eyes. He can see the parking lot, the black jacket he’s wearing, his hands, knuckles white. He can see the dark night sky, a couple walking down the street.

He can feel the label of his shirt itching at his neck. Feel the cold air on his fingertips and the wind running through his hair. He can feel the weight pressed firmly on his shoulders.

He can hear his heart beating loud in his chest. The sound of someone laughing softly in the distance. A car beeping its horn.

He smells his own cologne. He smells hers too. 

Tastes the regret on his tongue 

He takes out his phone with shaky hands. The phone rings not even three times before Buck’s unmistakable voice sounds through the screen. “Buck, I—I think I’ve made a mistake.”