#and look into the experiences of other people with that identity

[melaninfury]

Astrology Harsh Opinions

Please don’t take this as astrological facts. These are more my experience and perspective. The whole chart and aspects must also be considered.

- one things for certain and two things for sure if there is cancer in the first house or especially the sun side. I know you are a road rager and you need to stop.

- Yes, Libra placements you are people pleasing even when you’re trying to please yourself.

- I second this if you have personal planets like Moon, Venus, Mercury and Mars in the Seventh house. Just please choose yourself first and stop trying to make your identity being a savior.

-Scorpios are you done being my way or the highway about important deep, compromising issues in love? Let your toxic internal ways go and let people accept you not enable muah 💋

- Aries, you know that anger and motivation are not passionate ways to solve your emotional problems. Please feel deeper and unlike a two year old child 🙇🏽‍♀️ (movement can be still and internal)

- Libra Venus always wear or do something socially adorable. Poole either love their nails, shoes clothes, love life or simply even their furniture in the house. Y’all have aesthetic.

- Virgos and intense Virgo placements like Virgo mars in the 6th house or having planets at Virgo degrees. I always notice this connection to animals or pet companions. They have this understanding of pets being of service to its owner. So for example I noticed they always have a lifelong pet or multiple pets that become apart of their life not just an accessory. Their houses will be filled with the existence of their pet companion.I do think that being that the 6th house, rules over pets and acts of service virgos (depends how aspects and house at the end of the day) usually like or animals like them in some way. This is the person who always loves to hold their friends pets or feels like an aunt or uncle to others fur babies. Will pet animals on the street.

- I personally think voiceover astrological readings are wayyyyy more thorough and detailed than written or typed ones. But to each its on your learning something you know.

- Yes Sagittarius placements are the hidden people pleasers. Very outwardly focus. You want your thoughts to matter and who you are in the world to matter but in a way where it leads others. It’s a way to be validated but also validated for what they want not just what people like about them. They would rather instead of being called pretty and nice to be seen as a leader and wise (maybe both). If you value their opinions and let them be friendly to you. You’ll see they care very deeply about being validated not as free as a stereotypical sag sun sign but let it be in the 9th house or especially a Sag Moon. They want to be validated on a philosophical level mentally they please to know their worth, not just to be seen and in a relationship.

-I’m sorry but most people with Scorpio mars get around…sorry. Y’all always are sneaking and having some ACTIVE 👀 experiences in their life. Usually always moving with desires, one they connect on a spiritual or deep level they attach quick. So if their still talking to people or in a relationship I find them to wander when their spirit and deep level desires fade and have served their purpose. They also are just very passionate. They feel even when they don’t know how to flow or deal with their emotions. You will know if these people want you or especially want to F you. Trust me you will know.

- Virgos and Leos always skeptical and unbelieving in astrology but the first one to cry or want a reading when you prove them wrong.

- Why does everyone use astrology for fame and beauty all the time or want to look at the surface level of synastry?Let me elaborate, you say you want to know if you're gonna be famous? Why do you not have a career or a focus in mind. Hell why are you wanting to learn astrology but you refuse to study or look up different interpreters. Most information you all see is accessible if you are so hell bent on being what you think you are. First start with who are you and what makes you likable. If your so concerned if Timmy likes you, why don't you just google, study all aspects and pull up the composite, etc.

-Moon mars Synastry is a dupe. They either hate you or are entirely too handsy. But if you're lucky you are not just compatible but in tune with each other. You become intermingled into emotions spirit and creativity together. You will look good together or be good in theory but these two plants must merge peaceful. If your Synastry is chaotic or aspects conflict you will have some strong elusive emotions towards each other or one is surely to suffer if you let the dynamic play out for too long.

- Moon conjunct Uranus natal, especially if one or more planet is retrograde. Who never loved your parents and made them never show love and affection properly to you. Please figure that out before you internalize...

- Bro I don’t get jealous but if I did I would be jealous of Venus moon conjunction in general or in Libra. Y’all dress so nice, always look put together. There is style there and it’s usually distinct even if it’s not unique. You look good okay 🤷🏾‍♀️

- Sneaky sneaky Aquarius, always playing detached when you’re really psychologically (psychopathiclly) calculated and emotional. Water bearers I mean. Guard your emotions all you want. I and the rest can see you care through your actions. Even when you pretend you don’t. And revenge is still trying to emotionally hurt people!

- Water signs…yeah you question. What do you think about telling the truth just to be a good person. No need to think of pros and cons or what you’ll get out of it before. Simply just be brutally ✨ honest ✨

©️ All Rights Reserved melaninfury

[genderqueerdykes]

genuine question about some identities

why do you think theres so much hate for people who are afab/amab and are also trans women/men, those who are cistrans and multigender people?

ive noticed that when you tell certain queer people you'd think wouldn't be exclusionist that your gender is funky and you're trans bc of it, they begin to use your assigned sex and your biology against you because "you can't be a trans woman if you have a uterus, ur just feminine".

its the same argument as conservatives make it. why is there so much hate?

ppl don't acknowledge my individual genders but instead see how they work alongside each other. ppl don't see me as a trans woman when my gender is woman but will acknowledge me as a trans man because of my sex traits.

these are some very important questions to ask, i appreciate you for sending this ask

i honestly think more people are becoming indoctrinated into transmedicalist and gender critical thinking without realizing it, and it's becoming dangerous. people want to inherently label an afab transfem and/or an amab transmasc as liars, people who are spitting in the faces of others, and shouldn't be a part of our community. other people make assumptions about others' experiences based on their own and don't understand that there is an entire world outside of their perspective, and that world is full of experiences they have no hope of understanding, but can simply accept.

i've gotten a lot of questions about whether afab trans women and amab trans men can exist, it's definitely a hot button issue right now, and i agree with you. if you ask me, afab trans women and amab trans men deserve to have a platform to speak from. if someone genuinely believes their identity is trans no matter what their AGAB is- who the hell am i to stop them? it's important for afab trans women and amab trans men to not speak over their other siblings and try to speak for what it's like to be intersex or an amab trans woman/afab trans man. but that doesn't mean that these people can't exist- they deserve the right to talk about their experience, because it exists alongside the experiences of amab trans women and afab trans men. they're not fighting with each other, they're unique experiences that belong under the same umbrella.

at the end of the day, someone standing there being an afab trans woman, an amab trans man, or a cistrans person is not hurting anyone. the identity itself will hurt no one. ignorance about what other trans people experience is dangerous, and so is speaking over others, but these identities in and of themselves are not harming anyone. it is very possible to go "i don't understand how that works, but if that is how they identify, then i will respect that."

between people becoming indoctrinated into radical feminism and people who are proudly adopting gender critical politics, there is a schism in our communities that don't need to be there. people think they need to "weed out the fakes" in order for us to be accepted by cishet society, which is just not how any of this works. we can't cast aside the queers who are "too weird" or "not really queer" in order to try to make the rest of the community look legitimate

this community has always been here for people whose identities don't line up with the cisheteronormative binary. it doesn't matter what someone's AGAB is- i mean, isn't that the point of the trans community? are we not the "i don't give a shit about your AGAB, i want to know who you really are" community? it's become honestly scary to see how focused the queer community has become on AGAB. people are utterly obsessed with trying to figure out the AGABs of strangers in order to deny them access to queer spaces or kick them out of spaces they rightfully belong in

and it bothers me deeply that people police the identities of multigender people beyond belief. it's like having 1 trans identity is okay but if you dare to have more than one, you're not really queer or whatever. cistrans people, multigender people who are cis, trans wo/men who consider both their manhood and womanhood trans no matter what their AGAB is, transfemmasc/transmascfem people... these identities belong and yet people proudly and gladly wake up every day to do conservatives' jobs for them.

whenever you police another queer person's identity, no matter what your intention is, good, bad or something else- you are doing conservatives' jobs for them. you are not preserving our community. you are not keeping identities sacred or safe or whatever the hell. you're gladly sucking up to our oppressors and spreading their propaganda. it's disturbing how people don't realize this

thank you for taking the time to send this ask, i agree with you 100%. this behavior has gotten out of control and it's time for people to wake the fuck up and realize they've been indoctrinated into transmedicalism, radical feminism, and being gender critical. this isn't the "right" way to behave. it's antithetical to the very foundations of the queer community.

[msunitedstatesjames]

Ranking Veilguard Companion Questlines:

This ranking is truly based off how much I enjoyed the questlines overall, not how much I like each character. I liked all the companions and overall liked their quests, but some really stood out to me more than others.

7. Neve

Neve was one of my favorite companions in terms of personality, and depending on the choices you make she can have a really interesting role in the endgame. However, her quests felt kind of bland and one note to me. Evil blood mages are kind of old hat in the DA games at this point, and Aelia just didn't really stand out from the crowd as a villain. There were some pretty gruesome moments in the final quest where Aelia is puppeting people, but overall I just didn't find these quests to be super memorable.

6. Harding

This one should probably be higher up the list just for its lore implications, but for some reason I just didn't feel all that engaged with her storyline. I guess I wanted a little more. Harding implies that she's struggling with her powers, but we're never really shown much of that, other than the fact that she has confusing dreams now. She talks about her anger in regards to the Titan revelation, but again, I think we needed more. She only really seems angry for brief moments here and there, which makes it a little hard to believe when her final choice is pretty much whether or not to hold onto her anger. She does talk about how she's kind of a people pleaser and likes to seem cheerful as a result, but if that's the case they still coild have done more with that.

5. Bellara

Going into this, I had to remind myself about some of the details of Bellara's storyline, because other than the situation with her brother I didn't immediately remember her plot. The problem I have with her story is that sometimes it feels like there are two separate issues at play, the Archive and her brother. They do end up being connected, but it feels kind of loose. Dealing with the feelings of betrayal and grief in regards to her brother did add an important emotional resonance to her story, so that helped rank her above some others. The choice you make in the end feels very meaningful in terms of the world, but we don't have the chance to see it play out in any meaningful way within the game. I would have liked to see a noticeable shift of some kind, at least in Veiljumper territory, based on Bellara's choice, but all we got is one moment in the finale where the game has to tell us we're seeing the results of her decision.

4. Lucanis

Lucanis's storyline had some pretty cool scenes. The Ossuary. Going into his own mind. Confronting Zara. But considering everything he has going on, at times his storyline seemed like it needed more fleshing out. This dude is a non-mage possessed by a demon. Is that ever really explained other than by the fact that Zara was just a freaky, evil experimenter? We've had so many characters in DA with absolutely nightmarish experiences with possession, and honestly everyone is just pretty cool with Lucanis and Spite just being a chill partnership, maybe because he's not a mage. I know there are comments about how people probably aren't actually cool with it, Lucanis says as much about the Crows in the end, but we don't really get to see that. It might have been interesting for there to be more tangible tension between Lucanis and those around him based on his demonic possession.

3. Taash

I really struggled with where to place Taash's questline, as some aspects felt quite weak and others felt deeply meaningful. In the end, I surprised myself by ranking them so high. When I immediately look back on their questlines, there doesn't seem to be a lot there. Taash hunts around for some dragons, has dinner with their mom, and finally in the end fights the Dragon King. Taash's story is perhaps less related to the overall plot of Veilguard than any other character but Emmrich, which didn't necessarily help. And though I find Taash's quest for identity to be an important one, it doesn't lend itself to the same kind of excitement as some of the others. Still, emotionally this series of quests ends up doing a lot of heavy lifting. Specifically, I found Taash's relationship with Shathann to lend a lot to their story. Even if you can't relate to Taash's struggles with gender or identity, almost everyone can relate to the struggle between a parent and a child. I was never quite sure what to think of Shathann. And I think that's very real. When I look at the parents of my friends and loved ones I often see the duality of everything they've done out of love for their children and everything they've done that has harmed them. At times I found Shathann to be caring and protective, at other times to be borderline abusive and too desiring of control over Taash's life. And though this situtaion might be extreme compared to many people's experiences with their parents, there's an almost innate toxicity to all parent child relationships at one point or another, as a child tries to grow in one direction that might not be what the parent wants or hopes. And I think these quests walk that thin line we all tread at one point or another in our lives, where you have someone that you love even when you feel that they don't deserve your love or deserve you, but you still can't help but care about them anyway. But in the end Taash does love their mother, and when Shathann dies Taash's rage feels very real, as does their entire relationship dynamic throughout the game.

2. Davrin

Davrin's story benefits from being perhaps more closely tied in to the world and the story of Veilguard than any other. The Grey Wardens and the Blight have always been central to DA, and only Origins has made them more central than Veilguard did. But Davrin and Assan really did steal my heart. At first, I didn't find Davrin to be especially exciting. He seemed like just another stoic warrior type. But the more time you spent with he and Assan and the other Wardens, the more you came to love him. The Gloom Howler storyline, along with the return of the griffons, was fascinating and the stakes felt extremely high. The stakes felt so high in fact that I often wondered how Davrin remained so calm as Rook paraded around the Necropolis Gardens or Arlathan while the Gloom Howler was off somewhere doing who knew what to the world's only family of griffons. The choice you made about the griffons was honestly the hardest in the game for me. Many of the other choices felt obvious from a typical heroic video game character sense of morality, where the game designers seem to want you to pick the happy, cheerful, forgiving route over any other. But the griffon choice had no obvious answer to a question I didn't even expect to be asked, and I stared at the screen for a while before I made it. My one problem with this is that it felt bizarre for Rook to even be making such a choice. And the other good thing about this quest is that at least you get to visit with the griffons a few times after the choice to get a little taste of how your choice is panning out. The interesting thing will be to see if this choice plays into any future DA stories and games.

1.Emmrich

All right, I can't even pretend to be unbiased here. If you scroll through my blog you will see countless Emmrich posts. This dude was my unexpected romance choice and my unexpected favorite companion in the game. He has interesting commentary in most situations, his voice acting is delightful, and he stands out as a fresh and unique character among many wonderful DA companions over the years. But this is supposed to be about his questline, not just how much I adore him. I've written extensively about my love for these quests elsewhere on my blog, but I'll restate the basics here. His questline had one major thing going for it from the very beginning, that being that we've heard much about the Mourn Watch and the Necropolis, but have never had the chance to experience any of it. I was immediately intrigued to learn more about them. I very much expect a certain dark and spooky vibe from Necromancers, but in many ways the Necromancers in this questline defy expectations. Yeah, they're still kind of weirdos who love everything to do with the dead, but Emmrich is a kind, compassionate weirdo and Hezenkoss is, despite being the villain, kind of just a dorky chick. And yet, somehow this makes her the best villain in the game. She's evil. She tortures souls. She wants to embody a giant skeleton and rule over Nevarra City as a giant, immortal skeleton queen. She wants to commit murders because her peers are too dull, too stupid, or have committed plagirism. She has weird little gestures she does as she discusses her evil plan. She uses overdramatic, stereotypical villain language like calling everyone "fools" and complaining about Emmrich's "sanctimonius bleating." She completely believes that Emmrich is the main character in this story, he must be because she believes herself to be the main villain. She's just as much of a nerd as Emmrich and equally as skilled, and in fact reflects quite poignantly the atrocities Emmrich could have committed if he wasn't so deeply compassionate. She's an extremely memorable villain compared to others in the companion quests (and even the main quest), and she's all the better because she helps define Emmrich that much more clearly, which is exactly the job of a good companion quest and a good villain. She's so good that she's even brought back to bicker with Emmrich from beyond death for the rest of the game. All that, and I haven't even touched on Emmrich's big choice. The lich choice is so effective because it forces Emmrich to confront his very clearly stated worst fear, death, which is doubly interesting considering his occupation. It's also such a good choice because it presents you with an immediate and tangible effect, unlike many other quests. Either you save Manfred and Emmrich remains mortal, or you lose Manfred and Emmrich transforms into an immortal skeleton. Either way, you're bound to notice and feel the difference. Even without a major main quest connection, this storyline was just so well done.

[caughtthedarkness93]

There are still times when I feel incredibly insecure about whether or not I belong in the queer community.

But logically? I absolutely do.

Being asexual, even though I'm not aromantic and I'm a cis guy who dates women, has had a profound on the way I experience my identity. Masculinity is so defined by sexuality and that's not a part of who I am and it's always isolated me from other men. I basically had to define what it meant to be a man myself, disconnected from how a lot of my friends or peers viewed it, because the way that society viewed it just...wasn't right for me.

Is that not a queer experience?

I spent years wondering why I felt so different from everyone around me, alternated wildly between several extremes. At times, I felt like something in me was broken. At times I felt like I was the only person in the world who was sane. When someone first suggested I might be ace, I spent resisting what seemed obvious because of imposter syndrome. When I finally accepted it, there was a kind of euphoria to it. It felt like so many questions I'd had with me my whole life had been answered.

Is that not a queer experience?

That fear and hesitation I have every time I choose to open up about it with someone new, that calculation I do - is this a safe person? And before anyone scoffs at the idea that anyone would be nasty towards me for being ace, I've had some pretty nasty things lobbed at me. Hell, one of the worst ones is pity. People outright feel sorry for me sometimes even though I'm honestly quite happy with how I am. People look at the way I'm living and decide that there's something wrong with it even though I like it quite a bit.

Is that, unfortunately, not a queer experience?

If you actually asked the people you're excluding about their experiences, you'd probably hear stories that sound pretty familiar.

does anyone else remember when peoples talking point against asexuality being a queer identity was to make up a cisgender heterosexual but aromantic man who wanted to get in to all the lgbt society meetings or was that just an embarrassing thing people i knew did

[girl4music]

Okay. So I have a lot to say about the CaitVi relationship because - as expected - it was what pulled me into the main story of the show even further in understanding the narratives and themes better. Which… that alone is a remarkable achievement for WLW representation in TV art/entertainment. I haven’t seen that in a long time.

I love Love LOVE that Vi and Caitlyn are opposites. Vi handles everything directly. Usually with her fists first. Caitlyn is more cautious. She likes to understand the situation of something before attempting to confront it. That immediately stood out. But then what really worked for me besides the different approaches is how they want the same things but try to attain them through those different approaches. This meant they had a common goal but had contradictory ways of achieving it. Which is peace and prosperity for their respective cities, right? Only, they don’t always feel at home in those respective cities. In all understanding of who they are as people - they really should clash a lot as a couple. But they don’t because their motivations are the same. Vi only ever feels animosity for the Topside but Caitlyn is very curious about the Undercity. Again, there is a contradiction - an opposition - but because of what they can’t understand about each other, they can relate to each other and show one another that there’s more to the divided cities. It’s actually very clever how they use theme and nuance and tone to constantly quietly build on the progression of their relationship into companionship trust and eventually romantic love.

They use the two divided entirely different cities: the contrasting environments and oppositional experiences to make them form a bond which grows into romance.

That’s not the way it’s usually done so it stands out a lot. They’re such a contradiction as a ship that their misunderstandings help them to actually fall in love.

I think it’s fantastically written because the romance is not purposefully in your face. It’s not made a spectacle.

What is is the contrasting worldviews the other has. But that’s the point. That’s what cultivates the romance. Because the only real thing that’s similar is that of their goals. Protecting their people until they become each other’s person. The only real thing they’ve got to lose because they’ve already lost everyone and everything. This should make them enemies but it doesn’t. Instead it makes them friends and then lovers and life partners.

Vi goes against everything Vander says. Caitlyn is often silenced into submission by Cassandra. They contrast so much in their individual identities and environments that they’d absolutely fit in with each other and work well together. So when they finally interact, it all comes out in colours. And it just makes them so much more multi-dimensional and worldly both as individuals and as a ship. It’s fantastic. It really is great representation precisely because it’s not written and portrayed to be.

That in itself is one huge contradiction and yet look what was achieved through adhering to contradiction.

Honestly I think it’s because ARCANE itself is full of contradiction. I think it may even be its main theme.

I mean look at Jinx. Look at her. Would you think a character that looks like that would be so complex? Would anyone? No. They really flipped the switch with her to the point where her appearance actually helps broaden the complexity of her characterization. 👏👌

I am so very hopeful for the future because of Arcane because the creators have proved that you can take heavily negative tropes and subvert them into positive and deliver exceptional storytelling and representation. Yeah, I believe they faulted a bit in the final Act but that doesn’t take away from the fact they knew what they were doing and people should follow in their example.

[alexfeelyx]

I may be a little bit more forgiving towards the use of anachronisms or modern terms (Titans come from Greek mythology and champagne comes from France, neither of these words have a place in a fantasy universe if we're being very strict about it), but I also bristle at how the issue of gender and identity is handled in Veilguard. (I haven't finished the game yet, so these are just my impressions so far.)

I'm happy that we have a queer companion character. I myself am a trans man and so is my Rook. I don't particularly relate to Taash or the way they are portrayed, which on the whole feels rather shallow, but 1. I don't have to relate to every fictional character and in my personal opinion that is a GOOD thing (queer people tend to be upset when a queer character doesn't map 1:1 to their experiences. Guys, we keep asking for diversity! This is why!) 2. every companion character feels rather shallow, imo. I don't recognise my own experiences when I look at Taash but I think that I don't have to, and if their story feels shallow, well that's not unique to them.

But I have a big problem with the language it is couched in. It feels jarring! I would be ecstatic to discuss non-binary genders in a fantasy game, but for the love of god, come up with some terms for it! Aqun-Athlok was a great example, in that at least ONE culture in Thedas already has a word for a similar concept, it's a culture that Taash is connected to, they could have brought that up and iterated on it. They could have had a conversation on how in the Qun, gender is tied to function but in Rivaini society, it isn't. How one could be a warrior and still a woman, and how that doesn't have to have anything to do with one's body. Et cetera, et cetera.

There's a lot of... shoehorning in real world, modern day terms that I consider to be... hmm, I wanna call them ‘social media-speak’ similar to therapy-speak? Maevaris telling Taash that they are ‘valid’, or Taash (and rarely others) repeatedly calling artifacts ‘cultural’. How to tell the audience that you've read someone talking about colonialism on Twitter and just unthinkingly migrated that terminology into your fantasy game, lol. I would have been okay with them calling an item ‘culturally important (to the Dalish)’ or something but it's constantly Cultural™, almost as a noun. (Let's not get started on how they basically managed to make every single faction toothless as hell... The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything, The Crows becoming Assassin Daycare, etc.) Feels jarring as hell. ‘Gender’ and ‘gender stuff’ also hurts my ears a little bit, especially with the constant repetition. I can barely have a conversation or hear any banter with Taash without it coming up.

And this leads me to another issue, which is that I think they bring up the topic constantly. Not just with Taash! There's one NPC you run into in the Hossberg Wetlands, who gets addressed as they/them from the first moment onward. I really enjoyed how nobody questioned that, there was just a random non-binary NPC in the game. Except later when I returned to talk to them further, the NPC told my Rook how another character was a super close friend to them, helped them figure out the whole non-binary thing and I was like... buddy we've known each other for 5 minutes. I think they knew that a lot of queer people were super fucking tired of characters being touted as queer representation when it's like... if you look at them and squint and tilt your head you can MAYBE tell they are queer, and they wanted to avoid that and overdid it a little.

In a way this game feels a little bit like Uncle Tom's Cabin, it has that ‘he a little confused but he got the spirit’ energy. In my opinion they have made the entire topic and conversation around gender exactly as annoying, inescapable, jarring and cringe as the average gamer dudebro would fear. Ya know? Like, if you put a trans character into a game who mentions being trans ONE time, those people would complain about the Trans Agenda Being Forced Down Their Throats. With Veilguard? Even I'm getting annoyed.

And I'm annoyed especially because they did a good job with these in Inquisition. They wrote a character whose personal quests revolved around being gay in a big way but 1. they didn't need to use any jarring modern day terminology 2. they managed to write it in a way that was emotionally resonant and made sense for both the world and the character; and they wrote a trans character who also didn't need any Gender Studies 101 terminology to explain who he was.

im definitely not a fan of this man on a personal level for several reasons but guys im starting to think da lost a load bearing wall when he left

[bloomzone]

🗝️.solitude is not a curse—it’s a gift.

In a world that often emphasizes the importance of social connections, friendships, and belonging, it’s easy to feel like being alone means something is wrong. The pressure to have a group of friends or to always be socially engaged can be overwhelming. But, the truth is, being alone without friends is completely ok ! or having no friends is not only okay—it can be a powerful and enriching experience. "Why" :

© bloomzone

The Value of Solitude

There is something incredibly liberating about having time to yourself. When you’re not constantly worried about fitting in, impressing others, or maintaining a social circle, you have the space to truly be yourself. Solitude allows you to focus on your passions, interests, and personal growth. It’s during these quiet moments of being alone that you discover your true self—your dreams, desires, and strengths.Some people think that without friends, they lack a sense of identity or purpose. But the reality is that your sense of worth doesn’t come from external sources like friends or social approval. It comes from within. When you are comfortable being alone, you begin to realize that your value isn't tied to the people around you—it's inherent, simply because you exist. The world is full of distractions, but being alone helps you reconnect with your soul and nurture your personal growth.

The Pressure of Friendships

Friendships can be beautiful, but they can also be challenging and exhausting. Sometimes, the pressure to be liked, understood, or to fit into a certain group can make you lose sight of who you really are. We might find ourselves pretending to be someone we’re not, just to keep up appearances or to avoid feeling isolated. But what happens when we step back from these pressures?By stepping away from the idea of needing friends to feel validated, you free yourself from those societal expectations. When you’re not trying to be “part of the group,” you get to live authentically. It’s okay if you don’t fit in with everyone (like me) or if you don’t have a best friend by your side every moment. What matters is that you are true to yourself and your journey.

Learning from Loneliness

It’s easy to assume loneliness is something to be avoided at all costs. But, in truth, loneliness can be a teacher. It allows you to explore your thoughts, confront your feelings, and learn to enjoy your OWN company. Some of the most successful and fulfilled people in history spent long periods alone, focused on their work, their craft, or their passion They used their solitude to build their dreams.embracing loneliness doesn’t mean you’re isolated from the world; it means you’re connecting with yourself. It’s a time for self-discovery and reflection. By spending time alone, you learn more about your own strengths, weaknesses, and desires. This self-awareness makes it easier to make thoughtful decisions about who you want to bring into your life, and it helps you set boundaries that allow you to protect your peace.

STORY TIIIIME !

In middle school, I didn’t have many friends. I was often alone, walking the halls between classes, and watching groups of people laughing and talking with one another. I wanted to be part of those groups, to feel included, but something always held me back. Maybe I wasn’t “cool” enough, or maybe I was just different from the others. Regardless, I felt like I was on the outside looking in. But the more I tried to fit in, the more I realized that maybe I didn’t belong there.(I used to fake reading a book or smthng when friends group pass by 🙋🏻‍♀️)In high school, things shifted. I realized I didn’t need friends to feel fulfilled. Sure, it was tough at first, feeling like I was walking alone. But in that space of solitude, I started focusing on my goals. I began waking up early to study, I started practicing my hobbies, and I even began learning new things like language. I found peace in my own company, and I realized that I could be my own source of support, encouragement, and joy.Now, I’m in a place where I am comfortable with myself. I don’t need constant validation from others to feel like I matter. I know who I am, and I’m proud of the person I’m becoming. And yes, I still wish sometimes that I had a group of friends to share moments with, but I no longer feel the pressure to have that in my life.I’ve learned that solitude is not a curse—it’s a gift (as I said in the title). It’s a space for me to grow, reflect, and build a future I’m excited about. I’m no longer afraid of being alone because I’ve learned to love the time I spend with myself.

The next time you feel like you're missing something or not enough, just pause and remember: the person who's been with you through it all is YOU. You don’t need a crowd to validate your worth because you’ve got your own back. And when those tough moments hit, look yourself in the eye, smile, and say, “You’ve got this.” Being on your own isn’t a problem—it’s a chance to become the best version of yourself xoxo !

[gender-alchemy]

There’s a thing I’d like to point out that I talked to my girlfriend about recently involving transandrophobia (or whatever u wanna call it, the stuff that specifically affects transmen by a significant margin). So first off I think it’s important to point out that transphobia is something ALL trans folks experience, and is something we should be fighting together, rather than infighting. Additionally, transmisogyny is always something to look out for and I want it to be clear that transmen 100% are capable of and DO perpetuate transmisogyny, often without even realizing it.

That said I wanted to talk about the things that are unique* to transmen so y’all who deny transandrophobia understand that there is, in fact, some trans things that transmasculine folks experience.

*this is not entirely accurate, as there are things here that affect intersex and transfems to some extent at all. Unique in this sense would be more like “primarily affecting”

Infantilization

Now this isn’t something that is exclusive to transmen, there are absolutely situations in which transwomen are infantilized, but the degree in which transmen are infantilized is honestly insane. This whole “uwu soft boi” thing that has plagued the transmasc community is a huge marker of it. It’s not a problem to be feminine or cutesy as a transman, but it is to constantly treat all transmen like that whether they want to be or not.

“Confused little girl”

This one honestly is top of the list for examples of transandrophobia by cis and trans people alike. It also tends to damage nonbinary or transmasculine folks even harder as often we don’t conform to gender stereotypes and binary which leads to being accused of appropriating transness. This needs to stop. If you want an example of this being used, literally every transphobic bill regarding healthcare mentions the “removal of perfectly healthy breasts” amongst other things that treat us like we aren’t aware of what we want simply because we were born female.

“ROGD” or the idea that trans friends are peer pressuring us

So this one is complicated. This is not something that is always unique to transmen. I had to chat with my gf for a bit about this to get her experience as a trans woman to understand exactly what causes this.

In a nutshell, we talked about how when you’re younger, AFAB folks tend to form really close circles in comparison to AMAB folks, especially in high school. What happens then is (as we know, us queer folks tend to travel in flocks lol) when one person in the group comes out as trans, in many cases, others do too. This is where people see a group of once female identifying folks suddenly “turn trans” and they “must be pressuring each other!” Which consistently dismisses their identities and often leads to these trans men being denied the ability to transition without intense scrutiny.

Other issues that are incredibly fucked up

Alright so I’m just gonna rapid fire a few other things to drive my point home, this post is pretty long.

- Forced pregnancies in order to detransition AFAB folks

- Mourning of transmens bodies (ex. “What do you mean you want top surgery your breasts are so nice!”)

[triptychofvoids]

I think i might be aromantic but i crave romantic relationships alot! Its hard for me to get actualy crushes and i mix up platonic and romantic feelings rly easily!!! If you have advice on how to find an identity that suits me, please do tell! Thank you!

theres nothing wrong with wanting a romantic relationship! as someone who is aroace and is also happily in a relationship, the only real 'requirement' for being aromantic is not feeling romantic attraction. but there are categories of aros that never feel romantic attraction, some that feel it but only sometimes, there are some that cant tell the difference between platonic and romantic, some that dont feel attraction at all but still want to have a relationship for whatever reason anyway, etc and so on. people are complex and the only way to find if a certain identity or label is right for you is to research them, think about yourself, and find which ones make you feel the most comfortable or describe you best! that said, these sort of labels are not a requirement either. if nothing seems to fit you best, you can simply use an umbrella term or no labels at all! but if you really truly want one to call your own, that is going to require some exploration of yourself.

[anomalymon]

I did do a bit of research into subpersonalities and I'll admit I'm not an expert, but what's described here seems different to me. What I saw about subpersonalities they don't seem to have that level of identity to actually be different species or fictional characters like I saw. When I looked into genders I couldn't find anything about them being able to be different genders either besides in a sort of metaphorical way.

This seems a lot closer to median systems (other source with some better clarification) from how I've seen it described in polymind resources vs. how I've seen it described in subpersonalities, actually to the point polymind seems to unintentionally have borrowed a term structure from it with -ling. While it might not be, I think that's where I and most other systems see the similarities.

I think active as a parallel to fronting, at least for me, is because of how there's terms in the carrd for active, co-active, and activestuck, which seem like they're meant to parallel front. The same goes for swap and swappy being just switch and switchy.

Also for me at least I was getting my information from the wiki that I saw linked and I assumed the Carrds that kept being cited were either created by the coiner or created with the coiner's feedback. The Carrds aren't reliable, I know this one has straight up misinformation, but I was taking them as something reflective of the community and community terminology since it was cited on the wiki. I understand if that's not the case but that's why I referenced it.

Either way if it's genuinely not plurality, I'd say a good way to beat those allegations would be to write about your experiences. Especially with posts in the tag furthering that misinformation, like calling it a "less harmful alternative to endos" (it's not an alternative if that's not what it is in the first place, since endogenic systems are separate individuals, not personalities and not really anything close to subpersonalities).

I think a lot of people would be interested in reading any essays you'd write on your experiences too. The alterhuman community especially is big into that, and I'd love to read it myself too. A lot of communities got their start with people just writing and sharing their experiences. If you try to make the whole term structure before others know your experiences and vice versa, that's how misunderstandings can happen.

It's worth mentioning too that there are system and plural community resources that might still be applicable to you, and there's nothing wrong with using or reading these if you aren't of these experiences or don't identify as such. I'd highly recommend Healthy Multiplicity as a starting point since it's a long time link collection and has a lot of relevant articles. I'd also recommend learning what plurality and systems actually are, since that might give you more insight into how your experience compares and differs.

(Also re: little, I know it's an age regression term but little and ageling as far as that glossary goes seemed redundant to me, hence why I included it, but admittedly that was done without thinking)

Polymind is a bit fascinating because it ends up unintentionally showing why system terminology ends up not being exclusive to any one specific group.

Like when you try to describe plural experiences in a way that tries not to use an existing plural definitions, it shows a lot more blatantly that at its core we do all have the same experience of being more than one. Any term you make has a high chance of applying to the other group.

Then when you get into the terminology needed to actually describe those experiences, you find you kind of need most of the shared terminology otherwise you need to recreate the whole damn lexicon.

Like the reason terms get shared is more like "We have DID need a fast and easy way to describe fictional alters. Oh, soulbonders have a lot of terminology for this already that fits what we need, we'll start using fictive and source."

Or "We're a non-disordered system and need a way to describe one headmate taking over. Oh, medically there's switching and front, that's a fast and simple way to describe it."

And like a lot of subcultures online are like that and when you try to fight it you end up with complicated and not very practical terms. Especially when there's terms that have been used for over 30 goddamn years that are simpler and easier to use.

Hell even trying not to use any existing plural terminology, Polymind ended taking a lot of them unintentionally (i.e. part, ageling, little, protector).

It also highlights an issue where unless you do deeper introspection, which is not always practical for... obvious reasons, you probably won't know exactly what you fall under. Expecting people to look in depth trauma history to figure out what terminology they're allowed to use is despicable.

Also that the problem is at its core that people don't think we should exist at all and that the terminology stink ends up being more of a way to make harassment and fakeclaiming seem "justified" and also a method of erasing history and separating systems from resources/making them harder to find but eh

[solitaireships]

I feel like I should say since there's been a recent uptick in a lot of communities I'm in/see stuff from a lot of white people pretending to be Asian, but you are not welcome here if you are in anyway stealing from Asian cultures for clout or the aesthetics of it

This includes if you're white and you give your self inserts Asian names, I truly do not care if your f/o is from an anime, you should not be using an Asian name under any circumstances. I hate that whenever I see someone using an Asian name online, I feel like I have to start searching their account to see if they're actually Asian or just a white person who likes the aesthetic of it bcs far too many white people will use Asian names here just bcs it sounds cool, with no regard for the actual cultural meaning behind it. Meanwhile actual Asian people will be mocked for their names, or treated like their names are too hard to learn to pronounce, or discriminated against based on their names

Asian cultures are not a fun little costume for people to dress up with. They aren't just a nice aesthetic, they aren't just a thing you can borrow from bcs you think it sounds cool

[puppyeared]

mascot

[sprimpfriedrice]

White dungeon meshi fans sound like this to me:

It's extremely fascinating and frightening to me how hateful some of you people are towards shuro, a man who is clearly depicted as japanese, (a man who could look like me or literally any member of my family in real life) for being a normal, complex, and flawed human being.

Why do you single him out for getting frustrated with and mad at laios when chilchuck and marcille do the same literally all the time? What's the difference between them and shuro?

Why do you feel the unnecessary need to protect these white women from a japanese man?

Do you expect that this japanese man is inherently going to have some kind of ugly negative quality that has not been once hinted at canonically? Do you know what that's called? Because i do and it's fucking racism.

You people get scared the moment a character that is a person of color isnt a quiet little model minority or a sweet mammy archetype. You grasp at your pearls the moment they are revealed to have complex personalities and histories; when they feel negative, big emotions that are literally part of the human experience. Or god forbid, when they show romantic interest in a pure, helpless, little white woman.

And when a person of color stops behaving good and docile the way you want, when they decide that theyre not going to put up with a situation that makes them uncomfortable or miserable or RIGHTEOUSLY FURIOUS, they become the bad guy. As seen countless times in the medias demonizing depiction of the Black Lives Matter protests and even of black people who get punished for just living their lives. It happens so often i shouldnt have to reiterate it to you but it somehow keeps flying over your head.

And when that dirty, conniving, perverted, slant eyed, buck toothed, stumpy little japanese man understandably snaps at the white person you guys are projecting onto and all you see is this:

So dont be surprised when i say that id rather kill myself than entrust the safety of my oldest aunts and uncles or my youngest cousins with any of you who act like this. Im terrified of what could have happened if people like you worked at the facility that my great grandmother lived out her final years in. Would you have seen her as a wild animal that needed to be subdued too when she had one of her many dementia-induced violent episode?

I will not apologize for saying that i find it deeply disconcerting to see so many of you happily posting hateful vitriol or even about committing acts of violence against a man that looks like me, solely because he was experiencing his humanity

[roguetelepaths]

When I was still trying to figure out my gender and exploring a more masculine presentation, a cis gay guy I knew through the local pagan community invited me to a Men's Spirituality circle he led. It was nice of him to see a young trans man just taking little baby steps into coming out (or at least, someone who looked like one) and offer community, and it speaks pretty highly of him as an ally to at least binary trans people that he'd do that. But when I told him "that would be awesome, but is it okay that I don't think I'm fully a binary man?" he completely shut me down and said "well actually, I don't think the group is equipped for thaaaaat" and things suddenly got real awkward between us.

I ended up not being a man at all (I'm agender, and prefer to present in a way other people mistakenly call feminine but I just call elegant) but I still think about that experience and how nice it would have been to have a sacred space where I could explore the masculine side of my identity during a time when that was very important to me. Instead it was taken from me, not because I was trans, but because I wasn't the exact kind of trans that that one specific guy thought I was from looking at me. Like, what the fuck?

disappointing to see another wave of forcibly binarising nonbinary experiences again. like i don’t want to assume bad faith i don’t think people are doing it on purpose but any examination of nonbinary experiences that equates us to trans men or trans womens experiences based on perception is inevitably going to misgender and misunderstand a large portion of our lives. even transmasc and transfem nonbinary people often don’t experience the exact same thing as binary trans people and can have a mix of experiences that might seem contradictory to binary trans people, and a large amount of nonbinary people do not fall into that binary. a lot of us are agender, or multigender, or third gender, or a million other combinations that don’t fit neatly into transmasc or transfem frameworks. defining transness as transitioning towards masculinity or femininity, reducing it to transitioning when a lot of us literally have no way to transition socially or physically outside of the bare minimum bc our bodies and identity are seen as aberrant and therefore we're denied the ability to transition at all, forcing people to exist as masc or fem, having to choose one whether they feel like they’re both neither or something else that doesn’t fit with that, all of this effectively denies a large amount of nonbinary people transness at All. it’s a slightly more subtle way of excluding us but it inherently denies us our gender identity, either forcibly assigning onto us labels that are inaccurate and misgendering or directly calling us lying fakers. like it directly feels like a return to transmed shit where we're either forced to constantly misgender ourselves and present ourselves in ways that make us miserable to be counted as trans at all or hated for being lying fakers who are just hysterical women (regardless of Anything in our lives, be it our gender or assigned sex) who want to be special.

[the-bat-bros]

Anxious! Tim Drake

Have some angst head cannons

Anxious! Tim Drake who assumes that if anyone is upset near him, it’s his fault

Anxious! Tim Drake who hides in his room when his family is arguing, and stares at the wall, trying to make out what is being said a few doors down

Anxious! Tim Drake who dissociates whenever he is in trouble

Anxious! Tim Drake who gets aggravated the first time Dick tries to help him through a panic attack

“I said I’m fine”

“Tim I can see that you aren’t fine, and that’s okay. Please talk to me, tell me what’s going on. Let me help-”

“I said I’m fine!”

Anxious! Tim Drake who feels bad about shoving people away who are just trying to help him. But he doesn’t need help. They’re only pitying him anyway. They don’t actually care.

Anxious! Tim Drake who bounces his knee, taps his fingertips together, or twirls a pen to help get some of his anxieties out

Anxious! Tim Drake who absolutely breaks down on the floor in the bathroom when a mission went wrong. It was his fault. He didn’t do enough. He should have done more. He needs to prove himself. He needs to do better.

Anxious! Tim Drake who is up all night because his mind won’t shut up, going over every tiny little detail of the day and what he could have done differently. He’s such a failure. He doesn’t deserve to be part of this family. He needs to be better. They’re probably still upset about that thing from three years ago. Oh god why did he sound so silly talking to Bernard last week? Why didn’t he offer to help Damian with his homework is he a bad brother? Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god.

Anxious! Tim Drake who finally accepts help from Jason. Jay links Tim up with his therapist. Therapy sucks but Jason was right, it’s helping

Anxious! Tim Drake who learns to journal. Writing down what he think he did wrong and then writing why it was okay underneath that. He feels so silly when he does this, but it helps

Anxious! Tim Drake who gets a little better every day. It will take time. Healing isn’t linear. But he isn’t a failure. He is doing the best that he can. And that’s enough.

[dont-offend-the-bees]

Fuck I hate being an adult. I need a more adult adult to help with the volatile emotional situation.