#and logic cannot change emotions

[blk-chauvinist]

How is it "gender-affirming" when you're actually trying to change your natural gender? This is a mental illness, entertained by a warped culture.

[andessence]

so cruel to be stricken with blorbotions for a character in a mediocre source material. i love u ma'am but ur covered in bad writing grime!! idk if there's anything i can do for u....

[salemlunaa]

✰THE “I AM” STATE: do you understand? ✰

let’s clear things up!! a revamped logical, explanation to the void state

a lot of you are “failing” to induce pure consciousness because you don’t understand.

If you feel like you need a routine to shift/tap into the “I AM state”, you don’t properly understand what it is

If you feel like you need a good “mental diet”, you don’t properly understand what it is.

If any doubt has creeped into your mind about the void/“I AM” state, you definitely don’t properly understand what it is.

If you feel like you need a method, you don’t property understand what it is.

If you feel as if you MUST stay still, you don’t properly understand what it is.

And if you compare your story to others, you don’t properly understand what it is.

The void state is a deep mental space where you let go of thoughts, emotions, and any sense of “you” as a person, almost like floating in a blank, quiet space. In this state, your brain shifts to slower frequencies, like theta waves, which are linked to creativity and openness in the subconscious. With the conscious mind quiet, your subconscious is more receptive, so any intentions you set can bypass mental barriers like doubt and self-limiting beliefs. People often reach this state through meditation or deep relaxation, opening a space where you can set intentions that stick. This isn’t magic—it’s a psychological and neurological process that aligns your subconscious with what you want to achieve, making you more likely to act in ways that bring those desires into reality.

So you see, it’s literally just a state where all your intentions can come into fruition without the barriers of the 3d. It’s not some magical thing where your soul lifts to some higher places and a genie grants all your wishes. It’s just pure consciousness.

So you don’t need a routine for something effortless. You don’t need to have a “good void concept” or a “good mental diet” to do a basic ability. You don’t need an elaborate ten step method to induce pure consciousness. You don’t need to be a productive manifestor who has a routine where you repeat the same affirmations till your brain goes numb, where you listen to the same subliminals over and over and over. It’s not something you need to do. Not for something as easy as breathing, not for something that is in your fucking brain. You can have the worst day with the worst thoughts and still induce pure consciousness. Because it’s not something you need to mentally prepare for, it was never and is never that deep. Doubting that just shows you don’t truly understand what you’re dealing with.

Having doubts means you don’t truly understand. why? because it’s not something you get to doubt. It’s not some belief that can be speculated against, some superstition that can be proven wrong or some conspiracy theory that can be debunked. It’s a basic ability, it’s law, something that is law cannot fail, no matter how much you want to convince yourself, it’s just not possible for it to fail. Why wouldn’t you doubt that humans have the ability to breathe, because it’s not that deep, it’s not something that you speculate on or something you get suspicious of, because its nothing, just like the void.

There are people who fell asleep in an apartment and woke up in a penthouse, there are people who went to bed with nothing in their wallet and woke up a billionaire. There are people who went to sleep hating their family, the way they look, where they live and woke up with all of that changed. And why? because they induced a state where their intentions can come to life with out any limitations.

You can do it, and i’m not saying that to be sappy and motivational, im saying that because it’s a fact that it’s a basic thing that you can do.

It’s just pure consciousness, nothing too serious 🤭💋

[angelsafa]

True self

Hi my lovess!!

How are you? Living your best life right? I knoww.

I’ve been getting lots of questions about the void, shifting, realities, etc., so I decided to make this post to explain it better. Let’s talk about your true self — the real you. And guess what? that self exists beyond time and space, is aware of every single possible version of you and can choose any of them right now.

So listen, you are not just this little humans walking around in this 3D world and that's it. No no no. That’s not how it works.

You are pure consciousness. Infinite. Limitless. Powerful. And this human body and experience is just one of the infinite ones we can be. And what I mean by this is that there are infinite versions of ourselves happening all at once.

Basically, that version of you who lives in a mansion already exists. That version of you who is living happily with their SP already exists. That version of you who has an amazing friend group with a different nationality and plays guitar professionally in an international famous rock band already exists, yes.

Now stay with me here.

That version of you who is living happily with that man already exists, then why 'you' (your ego or this 3d or whatever) don't have it yet?

Simple, because your ego — this 3d identity — is still in control. You're still reacting to this reality, still identifying with it, still thinking its the “real” one (even tho is the other way around but okay).

Let me put it like this: You’re not choosing that version of you that you want, (or tbh are), but you haven’t accepted it. You haven’t claimed it as yours.

"Safa wth are you talking about? wdym by ego and all that strange stuff and how can I get that life?"

Lemme explain. When I say ego, I mean that part of you that thinks you're just this sweet weak human, the one that worries about “logic” and “realism.” That doubts. That reacts. That suffers. But babe, that’s not really you.

The real you is pure, infinite consciousness. You can be anything. You can have everything. Or better, you already do.

"Oh but Safa how do I do it to get there? what should I do and how?"

The only thing you have to do is to step into that reality where you have it.

You just decide. You stop reacting to this 3D world. You stop trying to “change” it. Instead, you live in your imagination. You act from the reality where it’s already done.

You simply have to stop living and reacting in this 3d. As I've mentioned in my post here, your only job is to live in the imagination.

Once you start accepting that your imagination, or real reality it's indeed your real reality, that's when the 3d cannot help but to catch up and reflect instantly. Because let's remember that our 3d is the mirror of the 4d, not the real world and definetly not our enemy either, (as a lot of people claim).

"Omg safa I'm getting confused. what the hell. and what does this have to do with pure conciousness"

Pure conciousness means that you already stopped identifying with this human or ego or whatever. It's when you realize that you are anything and everything and can be anything and everything. That's it.

"Oh but Safa, it's so hard to switch up years of mentality and stuff..."

I know my love, and that's when the void part comes in. The void. So, wtf is even the void??

The Void is not a place, my sweet angel. It's not a black screen. It's not some hidden dimension. It’s not a club with VIP entry (although you'all can enter just bcs you're gorgeous hehe. sorry that was a bad intent of flirting.)

The void is YOU. It’s your natural state when you’re not identifying with your body, thoughts or emotions. It’s just pure being. Pure awarness. True self. Whatever, it's all the same anyways.

It’s what’s left when you detach from the 3D. No thoughts. No story. No ego. Just presence. Just awareness.

And guess what happens there? That’s where you can shift instantly, manifest instantly, and become anything — Because there’s nothing blocking it.

No doubts. No limiting beliefs. No “how is it gonna happen?” Just: I AM.

Getting into the void is like finally accepting who you truly are, and then you can manifest anything so easily at once, bcs sometimes it's hard to keep reminding yourself that you're pure conciousness and not this human ego all the time. So basically you decide to get in it (or remember that you are it actually) and manifest without any blocking or limiting belifs. To make it simple, remember that you're that true self without doubts, fastly and stuff.

Basically, the void is all what I've been yapping about at first but getting it without the need of a change in your belifes and stuff.

Idk if I'm explaining myself guys I'm sleepy and I've been writing without looking twice.

Now, a conclusion to all this: My sweet angel, the 4d (or imagination) is your real reality, not the other way around. Your job is to live there and that's it, not giving a flying shit about the 3d or your circumstances. We are not just this little humans, we are everything and anything at once. There are infinite realities of ourselves and they are all happening at once, and all what we have to do is to step into it. How? As I said before, living in that reality that you want in the 4d, not giving a shit about the 3d. Because the 3d is just a mirror of the 4d and once you detach from it, and not care about it, and only live in the 4d, it has nothing to do but to catch up and reflect instantly.

*sighs deeply and wipes a sweat from forhead* that was long, my angels. I hope you learnt something because you got me here at 3 AM writing this.

You better start taking action and not procrastinate bcs othewise I will get very (lovingly) angry at you.

Remember you are the creator of your reality, absoultely anything is possible and that you got thiss!!

Lots lots lots of love,

Safa

[dulcet-aurora]

permanent . damian wayne x reader. ⸼ ࣪ ✿ ❛ when you press me to your heart, i'm in a world apart. ❜

❪ in which. ❫ what better an idea to immortalize your best friend in time.

⸼ ࣪ ✿ 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔. pining, pining, pining. did i mention pining? slightly ooc damian but like whatever i just want a yearning man. ⸼ ࣪ ✿ 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕. 1.3k. ⸼ ࣪ ✿ 𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒔. @di-lucss, @ephemerensis, @dollishmehrayan, @aangelinakii, @minorlyatfault. ⸼ ࣪ ✿ 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒐𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆'𝒔 𝒄𝒐𝒓𝒏𝒆𝒓. inspired by thinking of you by sister sledge! the writing is an actual excerpt from my diary about a man because if he won't yearn i obviously have to. ignore how shitty this is because it was 10pm and i miss the girl i used to be. enjoy!

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀𝒊f i were any other version of myself in this timestream i would say that i am exhausted of being in love. my thoughts are blurred by a fog where each particle of water is one tiny thing creating this sole, large, mystical being that cloud my senses and drive me half to insanity.

but i am a changed man and unlike the child formed of snapped bones and spilled blood that was deemed as useless as water, i have found myself thriving on the galleons of blood pumped daily by my palpitating heart for this girl. she is magic incarnate and i am under her spell. i cannot explain it and it is terrifying and awfully thrilling all at once because this is the first time i have not been able to draw a conclusion or a reasonable answer based on fact nor logic to my feelings. my feelings themselves have always been buried— crushed by burdens and grandfather's teachings that emotion was weakness, but for some reason she has latched them by a hook and drawn them up and claimed them as her own.

in my own way i fear her. she is the very opposite of every lesson i've been taught, the moral behind every beating i took. she took my heart of stone and cracked it in two and found the humanity within me, glowing like the contents of a geode and it shines just for her. i do not know how she managed it. i do not know how i let her manage to do it. i have never been vulnerable and never did i think i would ever be vulnerable and yet i stand here pouring out my feelings in ink like the blood i spilled as a child.

yes, it on paper but i would rather stain the carcass of a tree than the blank canvas which is her and risk leaving the mark of my impurity on something as pristine as her. i cannot bear damaging her because i felt too much.

— d.t.w.

damian sat on the floor at the foot of the piano bench, the tip of his pen hovering limply over the paper. his feelings stared back at him like a mutilated corpse, ugly and disgusting and something he couldn't believe he'd done in a moment of clouded judgement. the sound of the piano echoes through the empty ballroom of wayne manor. the space was empty and rarely used more than twice a month for when bruce held a gala. you sat at the beautiful grand piano, your fingers delicate on the keys as the instrument sang a solemn melody.

you pressed aimless keys as the moment of serenity faded and the melody fizzled out. "do you ever get frustrated with a piece of your art?" you sighed, leaning forward on the bench to peer at the sheet music of your newest piece that you'd scribbled out on a few sheets of loose-leaf paper. the penmanship was horrendous, chicken scratch only a musician could read in between wrinkles and creases from being folded time and time over to fit in your pocket.

damian snapped his journal shut. "exasperation in the creation of beauty is inevitable," he said. "you as a musician should already know this."

"you always make it look so effortless, though," you groaned, supporting your weight with your hands as you leaned back on the bench.

"do i?" he arched a dark eyebrow, his viridian eyes glinting with something between curiosity and amusement.

"yes," you sighed. "you can paint, you can sculpt, you can write the perfect essay. art comes naturally to you."

damian pondered this for a moment. "i come from a long line of individuals who took pride in the destruction in beautiful things," he said. "i suppose i did not want to be like them, when there are so many specks of the heavens in the world around us. i chose to trap them in time then to make them memories."

"you would be a lovely playwright," you declared after a beat. you cleared your throat, "i bethink thou art something of a twenty-first century shakespeare." you reached over the side of the piano bench and gripped the cover of his journal.

damian's heart stopped. he yanked the journal from your grasp so hard you pitched forward and had to steady yourself by gripping the piano. "methinks you jest." he snapped.

"methinks thou hadst a stick up thy ass."

"methinks thou shouldst shut thy trap." damian tilted his head back to look up at you.

you put a hand over your mouth and laughed, and damian's heart jackhammered against his ribs. that laugh, that feeling reminded him why he chose to paint your smile that he saw every time he closed his eyes, why he sculpted your jaw that he dreamed to hold with the tenderness he was never shown, and why he made you a permanent fixture in time with his words.

"play me that piece again," he said, his voice soft, almost reverent.

"you've heard it a thousand times," you complained, wringing your hands. "along with my tears and sobs and fussing."

"i enjoy it," damian said simply, rising from the floor and sitting beside you on the bench. your knees pressed against each other. damian wishes it was your lips.

"well, you have to," you pouted, "you're my best friend."

"i am not obligated to 'liking' anything, i enjoy what is enjoyable and your piece fits the criteria of pleasurable things," he said. "so play it again."

you groaned and before damian could even exhale to protest again you poised your hands over the piano and began to play.

magic flowed from your hands, infusing the keys with some sort of golden ichor with every press of your fingers. it was a piece in f minor, but transitioning to a sweeter major with a signal of a small breath from your lips. it was incomplete, damian could see the question marks replacing notes on the staff on the last page of music but, oh, was it beautiful. if your hands hadn't both been on the keys he would've laced your fingers together.

eventually the melody tapered off again and you sighed in defeat, slumping your elbows against the keys with an exasperated huff. "yeah, that's that," you sighed.

"it is a lovely composition," damian said earnestly.

you smiled faintly. "i had a great inspiration."

he tilted his head. "did you?"

you sighed, your gaze almost dreamy. "the best."

your words stuck with damian all day, even till the dead of night where he lay awake and his brain did its usual run through of the thought of you. he lay in his bed and you were tucked against his side, passed out after hours of trying to figure out the right notes. your sheet music lay on your stomach and your pen was clasped loosely between your fingers. damian sighed.

"foolish girl," he mumbled, brushing hair from your face. you sighed in your sleep and damian softened. he took the sheet music off your abdomen and plucked your pen from your limp hand. he turned around as gently as he could to set your sheet music on his nightside table. as he laid it down on the top he caught a glance of the title and his breath hitched.

damian's theme. a musical memoir to the boy i adore. written in a handwriting that was messy and barely legible and that could only be yours.

he stiffened. "i had a great inspiration. the best." you had said. his heart slammed against his ribs once more and he was sure his bones were painted red from how often that happened. he looked over at you, his sleepy musician, his modern day clara schumann, the reason he chose to create instead of destroy.

damian made art because it was permanent, and it was precious. he'd never felt precious or had anything remotely permanent in his life other than the ghosts from his past that followed him. but now he realized that he truly was treasured. and it wasn't so bad.

© dulcet-aurora 2025.

[rewriterory]

I feel like people are quick to characterize aventurine as the overly emotional half of the ship with ratio being the emotionally constipated one, but hear me out: yes I think aventurine is ruled heavily by emotion and ratio is ruled heavily by logic, but I think aventurine is very good at putting on a show and hiding what he’s actually feeling (not necessarily in control of his emotions, but good at hiding them). Not to mention aventurine is so traumatized he’s the kind of guy to say something incredibly concerning and then laugh and do a cartwheel, I think it would take a lot for him to be really emotionally vulnerable around someone. I don’t think ratio is as experienced at hiding intense emotions and even though the fandom LOVES to characterize him as a robot with no feelings, I have to disagree. I prefer to look at him more like…he prefers logic because it’s predictable and conclusive and safe. Emotions are wild and always changing and sometimes aren’t rational and that’s scary! It’s easier to isolate yourself and focus on your hobbies and your job and whatever because it’s predictable. That doesn’t mean he’s incapable of feeling things, though. I just think he avoids situations that could cause them because it’s unfamiliar territory and he’d probably view it as unproductive.

Believe me, I like the dynamic of ‘ratio is soft and patient and fixes aventurines broken emo soul one tender kiss at a time’ as much as the next guy (probably even more than the next guy tbh that’s my bread and butter) but I also like it flipped sometimes. I like the idea that when shit hits the fan, it’s ratio who’s an emotional mess and aventurine who’s stunted and can’t muster up a tear. I like the idea that ratio would be the one crying if they met up after aventueines stunt in penacony because he’s angry and relieved and upset and scared all at the same time and he doesn’t know how to showcase that since he rarely leans into his emotions, so it comes out as just yelling and crying and aventurine is like :3 ?? It’s fine, doc lol !! But the more it carries on the more he’s like oh this is like a serious emotional moment for him and I cannot fathom why another person would feel this strongly about me in any capacity what is he crying for

Anyways these two gnaw at my brain

[whiteobsidian]

cyra's loa guide

this will be my first and last post about how to manifest. i’ve gotten many asks on what loa is, how to manifest and if they can manifest xyz. there are hundreds of guides on tumblr on how to manifest, here is mine. i hope this can be helpful to any one discovering loa or a comforting post to those who doubt themselves. with that being said, do not go in my inbox and ask how to manifest and if you can. everything is here in this post,

xx,cyra

What is the Law of Assumption?

the law of assumption is a universal law that states that whatever you assume to be true, is true. This law is always working, it can never stop working as 90% of our thoughts are assumptions. Assumptions can be created by our circumstance, perception, and opinions of the world around us.

What is an Assumption? 

The google definition of an assumption is “a thing that is accepted as true or as certain to happen, without proof”, meaning that you assume something as true without having proof in front of you to support that statement.

An example of assumptions are:

“The weather is always hot here”

“I’m not good enough to do this”

“People who dress casually don’t care about their appearance”

Assumptions can be menial or controversial, it doesn't matter what they are, you just need to realize you assume the things in your life all the time.

What is the Subconscious and Conscious mind?

The subconscious mind is a part of the brain that is not focally aware (it can’t see!).  This part of your brain is always consuming information from you , it stores long term memories, beliefs, and assumptions without you being aware of it. It acts on the assumptions you repeatedly persist in and it does not care if the assumption is true or false, it works on what you focus on most. 

The conscious mind is the part of your mind that you are aware of. This part controls your logical/active thinking. Here you make decisions, set goals, analyze situation, and focus attention on tasks or subjects. Here you consciously decide and identify with your desire and choose affirmations and/or visualizations to ‘impress’ your subconscious mind. 

In summary, The conscious helps you set the intention of your desire and the subconscious mind absorbs this intention, aligns your feelings, and works to create the reality to match it. 

What is the 3D and 4D?

The 3D is the physical reality you perceive with your senses( smell, touch, see, taste, hear). It is a mirror that reflects your inner state.

The 4D is your imagination and inner consciousness (your awareness that exists beyond consciousness and/or the true self separate from external influence). 

Awareness is is your true self ( sometimes considered God or Creator), it operates in the 4D.

Ego is your human identity, bound to logic, past experiences, and physical senses. The ego cannot perceive the workings of the 4D and may have fear/doubts. 

Time and Detachment

 Manifestation is instant. Your inner world is creating the outer world, and as soon as you change your assumptions and feelings, the outer reality shifts.

The 3D world doesn’t control you,  it reflects you. While you interact with it, don’t accept it as your ultimate reality. If circumstances frustrate you, allow yourself to feel those emotions but remind yourself that they’re remnants of an old state. Let doubts or fears arise naturally. Instead of arguing with yourself and getting frustrated, let the thoughts pass and know these doubts have no affect on your desires.

 Time is an irrelevant concept because the moment you assume the feeling of the wish fulfilled, the manifestation has taken place, and is finished. 

The inner you/4D does not experience time, you have it instantly. Do not be bound by your physical reality, that is not your true self. 

What is a state?

A state is the mental and emotional condition you are in. It reflects your beliefs, assumptions, and feelings about yourself and your desire. The goal in manifestation is to consciously shift your state of already having your desires. The key is to embody the feelings and thoughts of the desired state. Understand that your inner world shapes your outer experience. For instance, if you want to manifest abundance, you need to live in the state of abundance by feeling and thinking as though you are already wealthy.

The state of fulfillment is the feeling that what you want is already true in your life. In this state you are confident and assured that your desires have already materialized. This state will feel natural and effortless (as manifestation should be).

You can change your state by changing your thoughts, feelings, and assumptions on your desire.  

How do I manifest?

Step 1: Decide What You Want

Get clear on your desire. 

Step 2: Assume It Is Already Yours

Imagine yourself already having your desire. Use the phrase: “I am/have [your desire].”

Step 3: Feel It as True

Experience the feeling of already having it. It’s not about forcing emotions but genuinely dwelling in the state where your desire is fulfilled.

Step 4: Let It Be

After assuming your desire, release the need to “make it happen” in the 3D. Trust that it is already yours and will reflect externally. 

Can I manifest xyz?

Yes. you can manifest whatever you want, it doesn’t matter if it seems unrealistic or impossible, you can still manifest whatever you want. You perceive some desires as big or unattainable because of societies own assumptions on it. You don’t need to suffer to get good things, you don’t need to work, or change your circumstance to get good things. It all relies on your thoughts.  

How do I persist?

To persist means that you stay firm in your assumption that your desire has already manifested, regardless of any circumstances, fears, and doubts. When you persist, you acknowledge that doubts and fears may appear, but you don’t give up on your belief in your desired outcome. In essence, you're just reminding yourself that you have your desire. You can live in the end, affirm, visualize, script etc, or anyway you want to persist.

 Persistence is about consistency. This doesn’t mean obsessing over your desires, but consistently maintaining your belief in the manifestation.

Remind yourself that your desire has already manifested in the 4D, and your 3D reality is simply catching up. 

Void State

The void state is pure consciousness (or pure awareness), free from physical senses and 3D distractions. Entering this state is about detaching from external reality and focusing solely on your awareness. This can happen at any time with practice. Relax your body, let go of external thoughts, and place your awareness on your inner state. The void is where you realize your infinite creative power as awareness.

Who is Neville Goddard?

Goddard was a teach and author known for teaching the powers of manifestation, imagination, and consciousness. His principles align heavily with the Law of Assumption and we continue to use his teaching's today.

Imagination

Goddard taught that imagining a scene as though it already happened is the key to manifesting it in reality. He believed that our imaginations is the force behind everything in life. You don’t need external validation or techniques to manifest,  simply need to shift your inner state.

God is within You

Goddard taught that God is not a separate from us but rather the power of awareness  within all of us. If you identify as someone who has what they desire, your outer world will reflect that identity. He referred this to the “I AM” state, which is the force of universe.

“Man is all imagination, and God is man and exists in us and we in Him.”

Feeling is the Secret

According to Goddard, our feelings are the key to manifestation. The feeling of already having your desire ‘impresses’ our subconscious mind, which then brings it into reality. Feel as though you already have what you desire (because you do.)

Living in the End

This means that we should feel and think as though your desire has already come true. For example, let’s say you want a job, think and feel how you would if you had the job. Go straight to the end. You only need to repeatedly assume the feeling of already having what you want. 

Techniques you can use to Manifest: 

Imagination

Your imagination is the creative power of your awareness. When you close your eyes and visualize, you are stepping into the 4D. Create scenes that imply your desire is fulfilled and dream in them.

Scripting

Write out your desires as if they’ve already happened. Example: “I am so grateful to have my dream job. I feel fulfilled and excited every day.”

Affirmations

Affirmations are simple statements of what you want as if it’s already true. Example: “I am loved,” or “I have everything I desire.” Make sure to repeat affirmations you resonate with.

Revision

Rewrite past experiences in your imagination. For instance, if you had a bad day, imagine it going exactly how you wanted instead. This changes your assumptions about reality.

Circumstances don’t matter. The 3D is only showing remnants of old assumptions. Stay faithful to your new state.

Extra/Rant:

You don't need a technique to manifest, you can affirm once or affirm hundreds of times for hours : you still get your desire.

If you keep asking yourself why you don't have your desire, then you don't completely understand it. i've explained it as much as I could.

be kind to yourself, don't beat yourself up. manifestation should be easy, if it's hard you're putting too much pressure on yourself.

my beliefs on manifestation may not align with yours, that's fine. this is just how i perceived it in my years in the community.

You can manifest whatever you want, yes you can. It doesn’t matter what it is and how crazy it sounds, you can manifest it. yes you can manifest out of thin air, multiple things at once, etc. there is no limit in manifestation. Manifestation is real, LOA is real, it isn’t my job to convince you, that is your decision. Stop asking me for permission, stop asking period, all you need to do is assume. Let this be your sign, just decide, right now that you have everything you want. You and your mind are not separate beings, your mind is you, you control everything! Everything is in your hands, use it.

happy new year and live you dream life.

[baldudiable]

The Moon signs

Aries moon: Possibly the most impulsive and impatient Aries placement there is. They usually are very open with their emotions, even the most destructive ones. They aren’t afraid of confronting people, even if they are somehow less powerful than the person they are facing. The child of the Zodiac has strong feelings that are hard to contain, but as they grow, they learn to tame them and communicate them in a non-violent way. They are ambitious and self-starting. The blessing of this placement is that its natives aren’t afraid of failure. Hell, they don’t even consider it. Whenever the feeling of desire arises, they go after it.

Taurus Moon: Taurus Moon is all about being present with one's emotions. It’s hard to get them to change their mind about something or to get them out of a rut, because they want to process their feelings organically. To them, taking their time is the easiest thing to do. They hate being rushed or pressured. They might appear stubborn, but it’s just a need that these Moons have. Since the moon is exalted in this Earth sign, it's paramount for them to savor experiences, even the negative ones. Being able to feel—the good and bad—is natural and divine. This Moon's downside is that it can make you addicted to pleasure, which makes sense considering it is Venus-ruled. These natives are often attached to something that isn’t healthy: food, sex, alcohol, relationships—you name it. They know how to pleasure themselves, and they intend to delight in it. 

Gemini Moon: These moons are mooody. You never know what you’re gonna get with them. One day, they are extremely talkative, nonchalant, and goofy, and the next, they decide that it’s their serious, deep, and probing side that they want to show. They usually love meeting people, but can wake up one day feeling insecure and decide to be silent. Gemini is mutable & the moon is about how you process and express your emotions. In this changeable sign, the way you feel and decide to show it constantly changes. You might expect them to be detached because of their airy quality, but that is far from the truth. Mercury—the planet of communication—rules Gemini. Hiding their feelings is nearly impossible because they're given away by their words or absence. Their most noticeable trait is their indecisiveness. It's even worse than Libra. With their big imagination, they see all the possibilities that come with their options, making it difficult to pick one and actually stick to it. Their stance changes according to their feelings, so pretty much all the time.

Cancer Moon: Cancer moons are most protective of their emotions. They don’t talk about them as openly as other placements. They might be open about their experiences, but it’s only through analysis that you understand how they are actually feeling. With the moon being at home in Cancer, these natives are very sensitive. I cannot help but notice how avoidant they are. They don't face their feelings and put on this hard front because they fear drowning themselves. Cancer is represented by the crab, an animal that crawls into its shell when threatened. It knows how vulnerable it can be and hides to prevent an attack.

Leo Moon: Leo moons struggle to keep their emotions or thoughts under wraps. Sometimes, they will tell their whole life story to a stranger because they feel like it. They place a lot of pride in themselves and their experiences and feel compelled to share them with the world. Logically, they are always shedding light on their inner world since this Moon is Sun-ruled. They can often pretend to be more confident and capable than they actually are. They have a hard time accepting their flaws. They can become boastful and arrogant when threatened. They can, of course, become as great as they pretend to be, but only once they have accepted that they aren’t perfect and that there is room for refinement.

Virgo Moon: Virgo Moons often end up placing other people’s needs above their own. It’s hard for them to say "no" even when struggling. While they need to be of service, it can sometimes lead them to forget their needs and responsibilities. They hate feeling unhelpful. These Moons have to learn about balance, otherwise they're always going to feel unsatisfied. Another noticeable thing about them is that they cannot help but see the negative in a person or situation. Instead of appreciating them as they are, they think about how they can be improved. They can lose a precious thing because they couldn't see its value. They then blame and criticize themselves for taking it for granted, and the cycle continues. 

Libra Moon: These airy, relational Moons were brought up to consider how their actions affect others. Acts of assertiveness and independence were often dismissed, only to cater to others' desires. They try hard to please other people and make them feel at ease. These Moons need love to flow freely. They usually come from families where affection was openly given and resources shared. they are die-hard romantics. They are often involved in unsatisfying dynamics as they are scared of being on their own. Celibacy can make them feel lonely and insecure as they aren't receiving someone's validation.

Scorpio Moon: This Plutonian Moon loves hard, so much so that they are blind to the pain they are enduring at someone else's hands. We often hear about how they are unforgiving, which can be true. But it takes a long time before realizing the other person won't change and stop treating them poorly. Once they finally do, they leave that person behind as if they had never existed. More than most, Scorpio Moons are aware of the darkness that lures within, as they often have been exposed to it. Their traumatic childhoods have made them compassionate and understanding, to the point that they gladly endure it in adulthood. These watery Moons need to realize that it's not their job to save other people, and that they don’t have to stick around to see if a toxic person will get better, because they may not. When encountering possibly dangerous individuals, they should withdraw. Unless they want to lose themselves in the process of loving them.

Sagittarius Moon: For Sagittarius Moon, home is where the heart is. These people are always on the move. They don’t remain in the same place, relationship, or job for long. When it feels stagnant or sterile, they disappear. These Moons need to grow: staying in the same position and not learning makes them feel caged and depressed. However, going after new experiences all the time can also lead them to feel unstable and exhausted. They may not have a solid support system, but they can always make it on their own; they are skilled in many things that can bring them success. 

Capricorn Moon: It's hard getting to know this Moon. These people don’t just let anyone into their hearts. Saturnian energy makes natives grow up early and take on heavy burdens. Maybe they were the eldest and had to take care of their siblings Or their caregivers were just demanding and harsh with them. In any case, their seriousness and drive to accomplish follow them into adulthood. They put a lot of pressure on themselves to become successful. Since the moon is in detriment in Capricorn, it's harder for them to be open, vulnerable, or at peace. They usually distract themselves from their unproductive emotions by staying busy. The good thing about this placement is that they are determined and focused, they can become masters at any skill if they put their mind to it.

Aquarius Moon: These moons are profoundly curious. They like getting to know people and forming deep relationships. As a sign of fellowship, Aquarius has a need to connect. For them, friends are like family. We often hear about how they are detached and distant, when they react logically to situations and need time to process (or to think) about how they make them feel. Like Gemini Moons, they can talk about their feelings without being overwhelmed. They can indeed become avoidant when it comes to romantic situations. They can reject them because that person doesn't match their ideals. But often, these ideals are just an excuse to prevent them from getting vulnerable and giving someone else the power to hurt them. 

Pisces Moon: Like Scorpio Moon, Pisces Moon's compassion knows no bounds. They are understanding and love listening to those who need it. People often grow dependent on their selfless energy. They can find it hard to establish boundaries, since they want people to depend on them. But listening to people complain often exhausts them. They then disappear for long periods to recharge. It’s hard for these natives to realize they are being taken advantage of, which pushes them to stay in unhealthy dynamics for longer than they’re supposed to. They might silently leave or detach from these relationships because they don't want to confront the issue. They can also be self-destructive. Their emotions are sometimes so powerful that they escape them in any way they can: through substances, sex, or television. These watery moons need a creative outlet to express what they are feeling inside, unless they want to get lost in their addictions. 

[fatcatlittlebox]

I cannot tell you how profound it was to me that Charlie confirmed this week in interviews that his understanding of Sauron is that he is NOT this great, omniscent mastermind. I had written metas before that this was how Sauron was being depicted in ROP but to have it supported by the actor was still a little surprising because that has been debated for awhile. Furthermore, Charlie has said now several times that when he plays Sauron playing another persona, whether Halbrand or Annatar, he believes that Sauron is fully invested and reinvented as these people. He 100% believes. And I think that is such a provocative idea. I am totally dumbfounded by it. Because how do you go from this:

To this.

How hauntingly tragic his "Halbrand" era was. It was the closest thing to peace he had found in thousands of years and he got to that place by doing something so uncharacteristic. He took a chance. This Maia, who is obsessed with control and order...he gambled. And won. Until he lost. Why and how the hell did he think pretending to be a mortal king, offering to bind himself to his sworn rival, allying himself with Light would possibly succeed? He had to know it was a near impossible feat. The path he had taken before was probably charted with logical, measured decisions and weighed with statistical probabilities. But not this one. It wasn't hubris or arrogant ambition. It was hope. He believed and that belief was sparked and buoyed by Galadriel.

This is why this shot right here is so symbolic and poetic of this period in his life. Look at Halbrand here. As so many times before where it concerns Galadriel, he looks unsure. Vulnerable. Look at how he holds the pouch and how he stares at it. It's as if his fate rests inside. This is a crossroads. Then he throws it on the table like dice or a coin toss. He seems to have made up his mind. Probably because he had estimated and concluded that following Galadriel was probably not going to work. But then, at the last moment he changes course.

The fact that the camera stays on the pouch for several beats emphasizes that 1) this is a pivotal moment 2) it was impulsive. Sauron had already left and then came back. (12 seconds-- I counted). Just like the raft on the Sundering Seas, he came back for Galadriel. He makes a bold choice. Again! One not even the gods would have expected. He takes a chance. A monumental one.

It's exhilarating, especially now that we have a bigger picture of the actual choice he's making. It's so hopeful. So audacious. So human. So NOT Sauron. And in letting himself fully embody and inhabit the life of a low man, he's never been more connected to Middle Earth, never been more real in this world. The stakes mean something different. He's tactile, emotional, reactive. His actions and relationships have more gravity. His footsteps and words have weight. He's not a puppetmaster. He's alive in the world, an ocean of color.

Contrast that with his Annatar phase. As Charlie portrays him, he is completely detached. Floundering. There's a vacancy to his presence.

As I said before, I think Sauron left apart of himself in Halbrand. It's almost as if the piece of him that was human, that grounded him, was severed. And in doing so, Annatar glides through the world as if in a dream and he were made of ice and shadow. Look at his manner and how he moves. He's imposing but almost inert. His expression is dazed and distracted. His heart is somewhere else. With someone else. Or maybe it's because he actually isn't there. It gives an added layer of meaning to Adar's supposed "message" to Annatar -- "Where is he?" Because why is he so clearly disengaged? Where does his mind wander off to constantly?

Again, I'm left pondering how do you get to that, from this?

I'm left shaken at Charlie's performance. He is truly an amazing, gifted actor. There is a reason he plays such a stark contrast between season 1 and season 2. To go from that simmering volcanic intensity to such an emotional void. It's like watching the collapse of a star. I get the sense that there is a rich backstory there that the audience is not privy to. Not yet.

[the-cosmic-cauldron]

Astrology Observations: 🌔🏡 Moon in Houses🌔🏡

Disclaimer: Thank you for returning to my page; I hope you are finding value in the content I consistently create for you. I truly appreciate your support, including your likes, reblogs and follows, and I am grateful that you are engaging with this post. This message is intended for you, and if my interpretation of these placements does not resonate, feel free to disregard it. It is common for individuals to not connect with certain aspects of their chart, as each chart is unique, and some traits may be overshadowed by more dominant ones. This marks my second post in the series discussing the influence of different planets in the houses, with the next post focusing on Mercury in the houses.

Moon in 1st house: These individuals manage their emotions independently. They openly express their feelings but refuse to view them as a vulnerability. They draw strength from their emotions, allowing these feelings to guide many of their choices. Their emotional state can change rapidly; they prefer to discuss their feelings or confront them directly rather than dwell on them. Air signs often experience a conflict between logic and emotion, leading them to adopt a more subjective viewpoint. They may also be inconsistent in relationships, displaying a non-committal nature and moodiness. In contrast, earth signs navigate their emotions more swiftly and adopt a straightforward, no-nonsense attitude, expressing their feelings bluntly. Water signs can be intense and passionate but may struggle with emotional balance, often finding themselves in dramatic situations due to frequent mood swings. Fire signs generally feel more at home in this emotional landscape, though they risk becoming destructively emotional.

Moon in 2nd House: These individuals often become deeply connected to their emotional states, particularly the positive ones, as their self-worth is tied to feeling good internally. During emotionally stable periods, they may perceive themselves as more valuable, while facing lower self-esteem during times of depression, failure, or anger. This focus on maintaining emotional well-being can lead to a sense of emptiness during low periods. Air signs might neglect their emotions in their pursuit of their personal standards, potentially becoming repressive and overly rational. Earth signs tend to grapple with self-esteem, as their sense of balance is linked to their emotional state and life aspirations. Water signs frequently confront insecurities regarding their worth, struggling to manage negative emotions and often clinging to emotional states longer than necessary, which can create trust and security issues. Fire signs, on the other hand, typically experience a boost in confidence, driven by their natural assertiveness, but they may also wrestle with jealousy and insecurity, particularly towards those they admire or aspire to be like.

Moon in 3rd House: These individuals tend to be analytical and often require solitude to explore their identity independently. They rely on friends for emotional support and frequently find themselves in the role of the therapist, either offering or seeking a listening ear. A need for understanding drives them, and they feel unsettled when they cannot piece together their thoughts. For air signs, this can complicate emotional processing, leading to detachment as they analyze their feelings from a distance. They may struggle to connect with those who lack intellectual depth. Earth signs face similar challenges, often suppressing their emotions and becoming the go-to for advice. Water signs possess heightened intuition, blending feelings with intellect, but they risk confusing emotions with logic, leading to biases and dependency on others while sometimes appearing overly self-assured. Fire signs may experience a slowdown in this context, as their thoughts filter through the mind, which can enhance their self-expression but may also make them seem preachy or controlling, leaving little space for others to contribute.

Moon in 4th House: Individuals with this placement are always in search of emotional security, often surrounding themselves with trusted people or those from their past. They thrive on familiarity to maintain emotional stability, which can delay their ability to form new friendships or relationships. Many may have a comfort item to help them navigate stress or emotional challenges. These individuals are prone to anxiety and tend to manage their emotions best in their safe spaces. For air signs, this can lead to a more reserved demeanor, as they hold back their feelings, appearing warm and engaging only with family and close friends while seeming distant to others. Earth signs may project a calm and easygoing nature, avoiding drama and feeling uncomfortable with emotional openness, revealing their true selves only to those they trust. Water signs often retreat into solitude when feeling emotionally unbalanced, relying heavily on their close relationships for support during tough times. Fire signs may experience fluctuations in energy, becoming more temperamental with those closest to them while appearing moody and less dependable to outsiders. They might struggle with conflicting feelings about their life direction and the needs of those they care about, leading to uncertainty about their path.

Moon in 5th House: These individuals prioritize enjoyment and often find it difficult to confront their emotions, preferring to escape into pleasurable activities or distractions from reality. They tend to rely heavily on friends, partners, and family for emotional support, struggling to cultivate their own emotional health. This can lead to a tendency to become enmeshed with others' feelings instead of focusing on their own. Air signs, in particular, may find it challenging to process their emotions without seeking distractions, often getting caught up in entertainment as a way to avoid feeling. Earth signs share a similar inclination towards seeking entertainment, often resorting to shopping or spending excessively during tough times to escape their feelings. Water signs, on the other hand, may gravitate towards romantic relationships during difficult emotional periods but are prone to ignoring or suppressing negative emotions, sometimes turning to substances for relief. They may also engage in reckless sexual experiences as a means of escape, yet they can be very enjoyable companions. Fire signs, while focused on fun and pleasure, risk becoming overly self-indulgent, sometimes losing sight of the seriousness of life and their emotions, leading to emotional buildup.

Moon in 6th House: These individuals often feel a strong need to comprehend their emotions, sometimes to the extent that it resembles a full-time job. They are well-suited for roles such as therapists or psychoanalysts, as they tend to take healing seriously and seek therapy when facing personal issues. Problem solvers by nature, they are more inclined to pursue emotional well-being than others. For air signs, this placement can be challenging; while they excel in rational problem-solving, their airy nature may cloud their judgment, making it difficult to identify the best path for emotional growth. Overthinking can hinder their ability to resolve issues, complicating their emotional journey. In contrast, earth signs thrive in this placement due to their grounded approach, combining a desire to solve problems with practicality and realism, which facilitates their healing process. Water signs may struggle, as their need for emotional fluidity clashes with the structure required for resolution. Fire signs in this position might face challenges due to their quick emotional shifts, which can hinder the natural flow of their feelings and lead to an excessive focus on their emotions.

Moon in 7th House: These individuals struggle with understanding their emotions due to an inability to recognize their own emotional state as distinct. They often gauge their feelings based on the moods of those around them; for instance, being with cheerful and calm people can lead them to feel positive, while being around negative or dramatic individuals can bring them down. This creates a fragile connection between their emotions and those of others. Air signs face particular challenges in this regard, as their tendency to overthink can lead to cynicism, especially in unhelpful environments. In contrast, earth signs are better equipped to manage their emotions, as they can maintain a sense of grounding and filter their feelings more effectively. Water signs, however, may find it difficult to set emotional boundaries due to their empathetic nature, often neglecting their own needs. Fire signs also encounter challenges, as their natural enthusiasm can wane in the presence of unsupportive people, leading to feelings of emptiness if their energy is not reciprocated.

Moon in 8th House: These individuals experience heightened emotional intensity due to their fluctuating emotional states, often remaining entrenched in prolonged feelings that can skew negative, particularly in this challenging placement. They grapple with their darker qualities, which can lead to a sense of alienation from the collective, making them feel distinct and somewhat out of place. This heaviness often prompts them to withdraw or become more private as a means of emotional protection. For air signs, navigating these intense emotions can be particularly tough, as they may prefer to focus on external matters rather than their own emotional landscape. Earth signs, while also facing challenges in grounding themselves, may find it easier to detach from these darker states and perceive reality more clearly. In contrast, water signs often feel overwhelmed by the emotional weight of this placement, leading to a constant intensity in their emotional experiences. This placement poses particular challenges for fire signs, as their natural enthusiasm and zest for life are muted by its darkness. It can be tough to maintain a positive outlook, and expressing their inherent fiery energy often becomes a struggle due to this dampening effect.

Moon in 9th House: Individuals with this placement possess a distinctive ability to perceive their emotional landscape, enabling them to gain deeper self-understanding than most, while also offering insights that others may lack. This placement is closely tied to faith, leading these individuals to often embrace religious or spiritual practices as a means of grounding themselves and harnessing their emotional strengths. For air signs, this placement is advantageous, as it fosters a unique outlook on emotions, allowing them to recover quickly and move forward with a positive mindset. Earth signs also benefit from this placement, as it provides a balanced perspective that helps them remain grounded without succumbing to overly optimistic or spiritual practices. Water signs thrive here due to their heightened perception and intuition, making them deeply attuned to their emotions. Fire signs, too, find this placement beneficial, as it equips them with emotional wisdom and enthusiasm, resulting in a confident and bold approach to life.

Moon in 10th House: These individuals often prioritize their public persona to the extent that their true emotions become disconnected from how they present themselves. They may appear confident and sociable outwardly, yet behind closed doors, they can feel deeply insecure and fearful. Conversely, they might project a strong, aggressive demeanor while internally grappling with vulnerability and emotional turmoil. This constant struggle leads them to mask their true feelings, adapting their emotional expressions to fit their surroundings or goals. Air signs, in particular, face challenges as they tend to rationalize their emotions, often neglecting their true feelings in pursuit of their ambitions. This lack of emotional awareness is compounded by their focus on external perceptions rather than introspection. Earth signs in this position face challenges as they lack a genuine connection to their emotions, often prioritizing stability and practicality over feelings. Their focus on maintaining a certain image leads them to neglect their emotional needs. Water signs, on the other hand, experience significant difficulty in this dynamic, as their natural emotional depth conflicts with the need to maintain a certain public image, leading to potential repression or explosive emotional outbursts. Fire signs are well-suited for this position due to their inherent confidence, boldness, and sociability. Their enthusiasm for life drives them to present a positive self-image, and this placement allows them to channel that fiery energy into more productive endeavors.

Moon in 11th House: These individuals often exhibit unrealistic emotional perspectives, as their attention is primarily directed towards collective concerns rather than their own feelings. This focus on friends, family, and the broader world can create a significant disconnect between their internal emotions and their ongoing contemplation of external circumstances. As a result, they may become emotionally detached, failing to recognize their true feelings or those of the people they care about. This tendency leads to a projection of ideals onto others instead of accepting reality. Air signs particularly struggle in this regard, as their tendency to overthink exacerbates feelings of delusion regarding their thoughts and emotions. In contrast, Earth signs tend to remain grounded, allowing them to better understand the genuine emotions of those around them. Water signs, however, may find themselves caught in the idealism of the 11th house, which can lead to delusions due to their strong emotional nature. Fire signs are often supportive of others but may neglect their own well-being, resulting in personal suffering while they ensure those around them thrive.

Moon in 12th House: These Individuals often experience significant emotional turmoil from a young age, leading to a persistent heaviness in their feelings and confusion about their true emotions. They may feel isolated or out of place, struggling with mental health challenges and the quest for their identity, particularly in processing past traumas. For air signs, this placement can be particularly challenging, as their tendency to rationalize and intellectualize emotions can result in overthinking and mental health issues. In contrast, earth signs benefit from this placement more, as it grounds them and allows for a clearer understanding of their identity and goals. Water and fire signs face the most difficulties in the 12th house; water signs may escape their emotional pain through substances, avoiding confrontation with their turmoil, while fire signs often find their natural enthusiasm dampened by a pervasive sense of gloom, making it hard to maintain their energy and positivity.

[joicecubes]

hey guess who’s absolutely losing it over the stan twins again (spoiler alert its me)

so i was innocently scrolling tiktok when i was introduced to this DIABOLICAL au idea: firstly, what if ford really had shot stan with his crossbow when stan first showed up at the shack? and secondly, what if ford tried to bring him back to life frankenstein-style? (full credit to tiktok user @44boora for this idea, go check their account for some gut-wrenching art) (also… full post below the cut this got long)

but like i was thinking about this, ford bringing stan back to life specifically, and how dependent the concept is on this specific time in his life. i just feel like any other time and under any other circumstance, ford would have been able to, eventually, accept stan’s death. we see it at the end of weirdmageddon, where ford is ready to accept that the stan they all know and love is gone now that his memory has been erased. he tells mabel as much, and only realizes there’s hope for him when mabel is determined enough to push back against ford’s logic. ford believes very intensely in his own perception of the world. he believes in science. theoretically, he believes death is death, and there’s nothing he can do to change that.

but then, think of ford after he’s been betrayed by bill. this ford is at his absolute lowest. he can’t trust his own perception of the world anymore. he’s seen the truth of what their relationship was and the horrors he was so close to unleashing on their universe. he is desperate to right his wrongs. he’s losing sleep, his body is abused every time he closes his eyes, and the end of the world as he knows it is iminent if he doesn’t succeed in making the portal as secure and unusable as possible without dismantling it entirely. the only person he believes he can trust after everything that’s happened is stan. so he contacts him for help, and in his time waiting for him to arrive, cannot stop thinking of the worst-case scenario: that bill could still be coming for him. so when he opens the door to stan, his high-strung, paranoid brain doesn’t see stan, and he shoots.

he shoots his own brother with a crossbow and kills him.

ford is not usually one to blatantly ignore a scientific fact. again, death is death, and there’s nothing he can do about that. and yet, in a state of such intense grief, when his entire world is already close to crumbling around him and he’s holding his dead brother in his arms, there’s nothing else he can feasibly do but deny. so he does.

he lives in denial of a lot of things. that stan’s death is final, obviously, but also his reasonings for attempting to do the impossible and revive him. ford likes to believe he operates purely on logic, so he tells himself he’s doing this because he has to. without stan, he can’t prevent bill from entering their universe. he’s still the only person ford can trust, so reviving him is another step in his ultimate goal of stopping bill and saving the world. it doesn’t matter that its never been done before, ford will do it anyway. and he believes that he can, because as much as he thinks he’s moved on from his hubris, he’s still acting off the assumption that he’s special. he’s so far ahead of everybody else, so naturally, if anybody could accomplish the impossible and bring stan back from the dead, its ford.

and so he denies that the real reason he’s trying to save stan is not a logical one. he denies that he’s running entirely on emotions. it would be foolish to try something so risky and impossible and time-consuming if he were only doing it because of his crushing guilt and decade-long yearning, so he tells himself there’s so much more to it than that. he can’t just be doing this because he loves him, right? he’s not that shallow. he’s not that desperate.

and yet, he is. because as much as ford wants to deny it, he can’t live without stan. he can’t live with the knowledge that he was responsible for stan’s death. if he didn’t succeed, his grief would surely kill him.

[margonite-seer]

Hello, it's yappin' o'clock for me so I need to yell a little about one of the moments we as Hansry addicts sleep on a lot.

You know the war council meeting just before the romance scene? The one where they make up the suicide plan to get reinforcements and sabotage the Praguers' camp and where Henry and Samuel agree to go together?

What really gets me in this scene is Hans.

At first, he is willing to have the entire room draw straws on who will go. Which is very in character for him, because it is quirky, a bit childish, and reckless without any sense of logical thinking of choice with it but actually very objective and pushing for equality at the same time. He does not exclude himself from this list of people who would draw straws, but he does not put himself to the front either.

That all changes completely when Henry says he will go (whether alone or with Sam). The moment Hans hears this, he leaps at the opportunity to go with him.

No hesitation whatsoever.

He just does immediately because Henry is going.

I know Žižka commends Hans' bravery but, with all respect to Hans, I actually think it has less to do with his general bravery and more with this blind unquestionable loyalty and attachment that boils down to a very simple "wherever Henry goes, I go" and this intensifies if it's something serious and dangerous (as opposed to, let's say, a trivial event such as Henry doing chores for someone).

Hans just cannot comprehend the thought of staying behind when Henry is willingly putting himself in danger, double so now that this is late in the game and by now Hans is neck deep in love with Henry and fully knows it himself. He omits all planning, he talks before he thinks here. Before he declares he is going too, he doesn't stop for a second to even start pondering what Žižka replies with and what we all (and Hans should too) knows is true: that it would be unwise for Hans to go due to his political importance.

And then, finally, Hans realizes that he is not going to be joining Henry. That Henry will go without him on this mission that everyone in the room claims to be dangerous at best, clearly suicidal at worst. And he is so upset by this that he swears in Czech that angry frustrated "Fine.... Kurva." First of all, swearing like this under his breath is so unusual for Hans, as he usually lets the whole world know when he is pissed off. And this was the first and only time (correct me if I am wrong, I did not watch that much of English dub) that he swears in Czech in the English dub, bringing even more primal emotions to the situation. (Breaks the immersion a bit after the developers tried so hard to anglicize him by changing his name and all but whatever, that is for another post.)

He does not even sulk like an angry spoiled child, he is scared and desperate. He deflates, protectively terrified of the fact that yet again he won't be there for Henry. And this is even more obvious shortly after during THE romance scene. The entire story about Lancelot and Galehaut was, as we know, obviously a way to tell Henry he loves him but also to tell him how absolutely terrified he is for him. We all heard the way his voice shook when he was not even able to finish his thought about what would happen if anything happened to Henry.

However, what chilled me a lot watching this scene was what happened right after. And right before Henry puts his hand on Hans'.

"I'll be back."

At that, Hans shakes his head.

In a way that he looks like he wants to shake that sentence out of his head, to forget that Henry even said it in the first place. Because it sounds too much like a goodbye. And Hans knows this is a suicide mission, so Henry saying he will be back is just empty words that will make Hans hurt even more if Henry does not come back, right?

Hearing Henry say this as such a rare occurrence just further proves to Hans that this truly is a suicide mission where Henry is in a very high danger of dying/getting captured and never returning. And that just sends him spiralling even further into the despair that he might lose Henry and he cannot do anything about it because he must stay behind for the greater good.

And then, only then, Henry puts his hand on Hans'. When he sees how upset he is. "I promise you." That alone could have sent Hans even deeper into panic, because hearing promises sounds too much like a goodbye yet again, but Henry grounds him and brings him back to earth by putting his hand on his reassuringly.

And the rest is history, as Hans completely folds under the weight of his feelings.

Anyway this was a yap and a half, but I just love this love story so much. It has soooo many little gradual things that I will cherish this so beautifully done slow burn romance forever.

[rosesnbooks]

🩷Cancer placements🩷

disclaimer: i am not a professional and these are some observations i've read over the years and/or noticed in people i know♋

🐚Sun in cancer-they feel things deeply, and they're both vulnerable and strong because of it. people tend to underrestimate them a lot and this frustrates them. nevertheless, if well-developed, they are strong and loving people. family plays an important role in their lives, there is a certain attachment they cannot escape, nor do many of them want to. they don't reveal their true selves to the public completely because they want to uphold a certain image and protect their heart. when they try to use their emotions for creative outlets, they excell in it since their style is raw and imaginative: once they express this side of them, you'll feel their emotions like you're experiencing them too. they can hold grudges and be passive aggressive at their worst. because it takes them time to process things, who knows how long it would take for them to forgive someone. they can be so kind that it melts you completely and catches you off guard. it's so easy to love them. may be quite impressionable so they need to watch out for that

🐚Moon in cancer-very sensitive, caring, giving, and emotional. they are indeed intuitive, but they tend to come up with false impressions/conclusions because they lead with their emotions, which clouds their intuition. they love profoundly and they romanticize love a lot. it means a lot to them and therefore, it is one of their main focuses in life. they tend to idealize their crushes though. once people realize how kind they actually are, some of them try to use them. others appreciate their affections greatly. they can be ambitious when they put their mind to it. creative outlets help them explore their emotions in ways they maybe couldn't process on their own, which makes them satisfied and happy. they are very nostalgic and collect things that remind them of certain memories and people. it takes time for them to get over things and it impacts them heavily, which is why they need to have the right support around them and they need to focus on themselves in such times.

🐚Ascendant/rising in cancer-you can tell that they're cancer rising because they seem kind and sensitive, and their gaze is usually soft. they have a sweet smile too. they try to keep up with their good manners, even when they're not a fan of the person they're talking to. people tend to underestimate them because of this, which might provoke them to change their image (make it darker/more serious) if under-developed. they care about their family image in public and keeping well connections with relatives. they usually have a romantic or academic fashion style, just something that I noticed. very charming individuals who like to idealize a lot and see the best in people. also, i think that their personality is visible once they start talking to you, but their resting face may not be approachable always lol

🐚Mercury in cancer-their memory is outstanding. they just tend to memorize anything, and if you're someone really close to them, they'll use this memory to show just how much they care about you. they have an emotional way of thinking so they do take everything personally. they can jump to conclusions because of this, even if their intuition tells them otherwise. they tend to doubt themselves and their abilities even though they are really smart and capable. if developed, they can use their logical and emotional side to lead a conversation healthily. for example, they can express how they feel and if they think you're worthy of their respect, they'll approach the topic carefully so that they don't hurt you. they are really careful with words in this scenario. however, if they feel very wronged or if you talked to them while they were in a vulnerable state, they'll snap and say hurtful things because they know which buttons to push, but they feel awful afterward if they care about you. other than that, there is so much to learn from these loving individuals because they are so complex and they have a lot to give. lastly, they need to be more optimistic and not expect the worst. sometimes missed opportunities are what one needs to gain something even better later on, but yeah sometimes bad things happen too but that's a part of life. don't dwell too much on things you can't control

🐚Venus in cancer-they would give everything for their partner. they are very romantic and love their partner no matter what. that being said, they sometimes tolerate too many things due to love. this is a cliche, but most of these people want a family of their own one day, or at least a found family. they like to take care of the people they love and be there for them. they have a lot to give and not all people are like that, so it probably takes them more time than they'd like to admit to find the one who is right for them. they fantasize about romance a lot and probably have an idea of a partner they'd like. their person would have to pay lots of attention to them and accept their strong emotions without shaming them. they also need to make sure that no matter how many yeard they spend together, they should go on dates and cherish each other. venus in cancer may love cheesy and personal romantic gestures-something that is timeless but also lets the person know that they care about them. at their worst, this placement can be aggressive and manipulative, so they need to look out for that

🐚Mars in cancer-they remember everything you ever said or done, so be careful if you want to mess with them. they are really smart and ambitious, they have dreams that they wish to achieve one day and despite the obstacles they face, they have good discipline and therefore, they manage to succeed in the things they worked hard for. they can be very passive-aggressive if you disappoint them because they expect you to understand them on a deeper level since they try to do the same for the people they love. seriously, people don't talk enough about how dedicated they are to their dreams and loved ones. they can be very rational and logical, which blends amazingly with their sensitive and intuitive side (lots of empathy as well). make sure you let them know how much you love them with actions and words if you want a healthy relationship of any kind with this placement. they want people around them who make them feel safe and loved, just like family. anything less than that isn't enough

🐚Saturn in cancer-they get carried away by their emotions often, and cannot hide it really well. many people don't/didn't cherish their kindness and selflessness which hurts them greatly. they need to stand up for themselves because if they do not, they may harbor a lot of resentment which could lead to bad outcomes with those they love. wearing your heart on your sleeve and wanting the best for everyone is not a weakness, but please take care of your heart because you deserve it too. this placement can be quite intense when angry. their family has a strong influence on their life, whether good or bad. nevertheless, at least one family member is super important to them, possibly even the most important person in their life.

🐚Jupiter in cancer-they thrive best when they are true to themselves and their feelings-especially when they are not ashamed of them and simply accept them. they are very caring and thoughtful, it's addicting to be around them. besides their emotional intelligence, they are very smart in general and this helps them so much in life. their connections can be really strong and beneficial. they may be quite spiritual and interested in such topics. astrology could also be one of their passions because they could excel in it and understand it easily. may have strong connections with their family, whether one member or several (or many haha). could also have strong connections with their past and ancestors, just something i've read once.

thank you for reading this, and i'm looking forward to your feedback🩷

©rosesnbooks

[betty-fran]

A couple of thoughts on Spock and McCoy's relationship (and, probably, about K/S too).

It becomes more apparent in season three, though it's actually an ongoing trend, that McCoy often worries about Spock more than about Kirk when they're both in danger. Not because he worries about Kirk any less, but because he worries about Spock differently. In S3EP10 "Plato's Stepchildren," the most psychologically difficult episode that N and I watched the other day, this is well-read in the moment of bullying that Parmen arranges when he tries to convince McCoy to stay. Kirk, of course, orders McCoy not to accept Parmen's offer under any circumstances:

KIRK: McCoy. No matter what he makes me say or do, the answer's no. MCCOY: No, Parmen! Stop it!

And as hard as it is, McCoy holds himself back because he respects him as a captain first and foremost. He worries about Kirk, of course he does, it's natural for him, it's a habit developed over the years and close friendship, but he trusts his decisions:

(Kirk rolls in agony.) PARMEN: Well, Doctor? MCCOY: I have my orders.

But when it comes to Spock, it's more complicated. He has an awareness of the limits of Kirk's endurance (and again, he has to see him as a captain first and trust him in that), and the way he worries about Kirk is objectively logical. But his worry about Spock is more of an emotional response. He noticeably distrusts Spock's ability to recognize his own limits, especially emotionally, often referring to his emotional repression. He worries about Spock in a way that Spock himself is incapable of worrying about (or at least incapable of doing so fully), about what Spock constantly neglects - his psychological state:

(Spock is forced to dance close to Kirk's head. Flamenco-style, I think, ending with a boot directly over Kirk's face. Then Spock is allowed to rest, and he starts to laugh heartily. He crawls over to Alexander, who cannot help but join in.) MCCOY: He's a Vulcan. You can't force emotion out of him. PHILANA: You must be joking, Doctor. MCCOY: You'll destroy him. PARMEN: We can't let him die laughing, can we? (Now Spock cries.) MCCOY: I beg you.

McCoy definitely cares about him. All those scenes where he suddenly and seemingly for no reason starts lecturing Spock about his inability to feel feelings and accept his own emotions are usually the very moments when Spock actually feel feelings but trying to repress it, which makes me think that McCoy is telling him all these things at those moments not because he's an insensitive bastard, but because he's just very aware of what's going on with Spock emotionally.

Unlike Kirk, who is actually very similar to Spock in his perception of the world and his way of thinking, McCoy and Spock are really radically different people. He doesn't understand Spock as fully or as deeply as Kirk does, but he can understand Spock's emotional state (and he can be straightforward with him about it). Where Kirk accepts Spock unconditionally and completely for who he is (with Spock's inability to feel in a normal human way, this complexity of his world, this internal struggle), preserving that right for Spock to be exactly that, because again, Kirk doesn't want him to be anything other than who he is, even if it means he can't be with him the way he wants to (which brings us back to the similarity between Kirk and the Companion from Metamorphosis), McCoy doesn't need to do this. He doesn't buy into all that Spock "too complicated to feel simple feelings" nonsense, and he doesn't hold back on his choice of words when it comes to talking about it. McCoy perceives Spock through the lens of his own human perception, seeking in him what he can understand and explain through emotion. And while this is not real acceptance, it's also not an attempt to change him. In fact, it's this emotional vision of McCoy, his pressure on Spock's emotions, that quite often turns out to be true, because Spock obviously still has a human side.

When we observe the dynamic between the three of them, we realize that Kirk's feelings about Spock are obviously different from his feelings about McCoy, who is apparently his closest friend in TOS (which makes me as a viewer wonder if this was done consciously, considering that K and S relationship was really positioned as special and unique, even without any romantic reading). And McCoy undoubtedly understands how indispensable, unique, viscerally important Spock is to Kirk. He, more than once, when faced with a choice between danger for himself and Spock, tries to take the hit, realizing that losing Spock would be harder for Kirk. The whole dynamic of McCoy and Spock's relationship reminds me of a situation where your best friend falls in love (so completely and irrevocably), and trying to understand why he did it and what he found in this other person, you start to look at them, and in the process of this exploration, you unexpectedly get used to them, find your comfort in their company, and (just a little, of course) you start to understand why your friend fell in love so much. This person becomes dear to you, and you start to worry about them no less than you do about your friend, and maybe even more, because you understand that this person is vital to your friend's happiness, the most important in the whole world to him. So, in the end, McCoy now has to take care of two idiots instead of one, which hardly makes his life easy.

Therefore, the well-being of these two is personally important to him. He often reacts angrily to the actions of either of them when it could hurt the other, and more than once acts as a "voice of reason", reminding (not always gently) of this super-importance between the two of them. To a certain extent, it is Kirk, their shared concern and responsibility for him, that really holds McCoy and Spock together, and I think that if Kirk had died, this delicate attachment that exists between them would have collapsed under the weight of grief, although in the opposite situation McCoy and Kirk's friendship and Kirk and Spock's closeness would have survived. But in all this, McCoy really, genuinely worries about Spock. Unable to fully understand and accept his complexity, he simultaneously sympathizes with him and tries to help in any way he can. And he's also important to Spock, not just as Kirk's closest friend, someone who's emotionally important to him, but, actually, as his own friend too. Their relationship is more fragile and complex than a simple friendship, and often exists despite contradictions, but what unites them outweighs the rest, bringing some balance.

[kamiversee]

➶-͙˚ ༘✶ 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙁*𝘾𝙆 𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙏

✧.* CHAPTER 38 || The Dark Red

[ { SYPNOSIS } ] ➤ A tale in which Gojo Satoru blackmails you into seducing a list of people to clear his debt. Sounds easy enough, right?

[ { CHAPTER CONTENT } ] ➤ language, heavy angst, a tinge of fluff, & sexual tension.

[ { WORD COUNT } ] ➤ 6.1k

[ { A/N } ] ➤ And yes, the chapter title is a Steve Lacy reference :)

[ { PAIRINGS } ] ➤ jjk men x f!reader. gojo x f!reader. geto x f!reader. toji x f!reader. choso x f!reader. sukuna x f!reader. nanami x f!reader.

[ [ chapters mlist } ]

——YOU'RE DREAMING. THAT HAS to be the only logical explanation as to how and why you're face to face with Choso Kamo who's just given himself to you for the second time and has gone as far as tattooing your name on him to show you how serious he is.

What exactly have you done to make this man so dedicated to you? Hell, you hardly know why Gojo's even in love with you so, the chances of you figuring out Choso's feelings are damn there impossible.

Brown irises gaze into your eyes in casualty as the man awaits your proper reaction. The reaction in which he waits on took a few seconds because you had a hard time processing this.

See, here's the difference between Choso and Gojo...

Gojo Satoru has committed more wrongs than rights by you and nothing is going to change that. However, the man is willing and tries his best to spend every last dollar on you just to put one smile on your face to make up for each smile he'd taken from you.

Now, Choso Kamo has treated you with nothing but utmost respect while keeping his red flags hidden from your view. Well, they weren't that hidden, you just ignored them. Even so, while he doesn't have the funds to spoil you as he wishes he could, he makes up for that by dedicating his free time to crafting everlasting surprises and gifts for you.

Materialistically speaking, Choso is more ideal here because the things he gives you cannot be bought with money. Sure, Gojo could buy a painting off the street or ask to get you professionally painted, but that'll never compare to the raw and unfiltered emotions Choso captures in his art due to his feelings for you.

And again, how many times do you need to be reminded that Gojo's sugar-coated words, pretty teary confessions, and precious expensive gifts do not make up for his blackmail?

Not to mention, even though he says he loves you and claims to no longer want to hurt you, he's never once said the list was over. Would it not be easy for him to spare you the last person and just say you don't have to seduce Nanami? No, because Gojo had never intended for the list to end until its completion.

Stop forgetting the stress and trauma this situation has given you. For a long time, you felt like nothing more than a tool, this situation has made it difficult for you to trust those around you, it's made you cry yourself to sleep on countless nights, and you're pretty sure you were straight up depressed in the beginning.

That being said, Gojo can't make up for all of that just by speaking to you so softly and saying such loving words.

Yet, even so, you're still conflicted because it's those same words of his that's caused you to view it all differently.

Blinking out of your thoughts, you return focus to Choso with a sigh.

You didn't even realize it but after such an eventful and emotional day, tears just began rolling down your cheeks. With a steady beating heart, you were so choked up with confusion and guilt and regret, all different kinds of feelings eating away at your insides.

Visibly seeing how devoted to you Choso was pulled all of your anxiety and repressed emotions right out of you.

Why does it have to be you in this position? Why does it have to be Choso who's fallen victim to catching feelings for you so much so to the point where he's printed your name on him? Why? Why, why, why, why, why?

Oh what sweet sorrow it is to be in this situation.

You couldn't take it anymore. No longer could you hold in the impending breakdown of yours. As of now, you were literally sitting in front of Choso wearing a necklace Gojo probably spent thousands on. You were always thinking about the other guy while you were with either of them and the conflict finally caught up to you.

Your head shakes softly and you're trying not to sob but everything is just pouring out so suddenly, "C-Choso-," Your breath is caught in your throat, "Why are you so..." Your words fall off your tongue as your face twists up in sadness.

Choso's eyes go wide and he quickly realizes that instead of tears of joy like earlier, these are pure tears of unhappiness. His heart sinks in his chest and his terrible anxiety levels skyrocket.

Choso moves to sit beside you and brings a hand to your face as he does so, trying to wipe your tears away, "S-Shit, baby I'm sorry." He's apologizing faster than he realizes, almost as if it were second nature, "I-I can get it removed, I d-didn't think you'd react like this, fuck. I'm sorry, please-"

"Choso," You croak out, again shaking your head, "It's not you..."

Your voice was so fractured and spoken through heavy tears that it simply broke his heart. The last time Choso saw you cry before today was slightly when he left but it was never to this degree. He doesn't know how to handle this.

One thing about Choso Kamo is that he's a very anxious man. He uncontrollably waits for the worst to happen, he expects people to tell him the worst things, and he's used to experiencing bad situations. This is why he hated the uncertainty, because this is what it leads to; sudden heartbreak.

His hands are sweating and trembling against your skin while his shaky thumbs try to rid your pretty face of the tears. Choso's breathing is unsteady and he's blaming himself heavily, despite you just telling him it's not his fault.

"It has to be me," Choso hushes out, his own eyes glossing over, "I had a feeling it might be too much but I still got the tatt' anyways, this is my fault. I'm sorry, princess." He urges his apology out, quick to take the blame no matter what you say.

Your lower lip quivers terribly and you meet his eyes through hazy vision, "It's n-not you," You whine, "C-Choso t-there's..." You're blabbering before you can stop yourself, "There's s-someone else."

The man's blood ran cold.

His body trembles and trembles before he just... stills. His teary eyes slowly went dry as he blinked and processed what the hell you just said to him.

Choso knew it. He fucking knew this would happen.

"What?" Choso questions. His voice is so empty and dry of anything that you can no longer decipher what he's feeling.

It was the worst possibility by far. Choso isn't insecure or anything but he had his doubts. When he looks at you, he sees a woman of perfection so naturally, he envisions that he's not the only guy who sees that in you.

When you don't say anything and just sit there sobbing, Choso gathers that he didn't imagine your words. "This is because I left, isn't it?" He whispers, almost like he's voicing his thoughts, "Are they... W-When you say there's someone else, what do you mean?"

You sniffle and let out a slight hiccup, "H-He just... I'm c-confused, Cho. I-I want you but I'm n-not ready for a relationship and-"

"Is he the reason?" Choso cuts off coldly.

Technically yes but, you're not telling Choso that. "N-No, that's still me. I just... I shouldn't feel anything for him because h-he's an asshole and I'm supposed to hate him but he's been so fucking sweet and I can't ignore it anymore," Your words come out broken and choked, all being forced in between your tears.

"Oh..." Choso hums. Then, he takes his hands off you and lets you cry freely. It still hurts him to see you so upset but it's pissing him off that someone else has taken his place since he left. And no, he's not mad at you but, moreso himself. "It's that guy who made you cry before," Choso recalls, vividly remembering it all.

You just nod, lifting your hands to wipe your tears since he stopped. "And then..." You sniffle, "You left me and I was sad and angry and at f-first he made it worse b-but then he started to confuse me b-by confessing to me, and now I..." You couldn't even finish before you just started uncontrollably crying.

The man beside you just watches the tears fall from your face. It's all his fault-- or at least, that's what he thinks anyway. There's another guy and he blames himself for distancing himself in the first place. Had it not been for that you wouldn't be crying right now, right?

A tsunami of self-hate crashes over Choso and he simply drowns in the feeling. He despises the fact that this could've been avoided. Maybe he should've never gotten the tattoo? Maybe that's also why? Fuck, what the hell is he supposed to do right now? How does he comfort you?

Your hands go up and you cover your face, weeping so terribly at the entire situation. You no longer cared that Choso was seeing you like this because you didn't have it in you to contain all these emotions you've been feeling. You've been wanting to cry all day, especially when Gojo gave you that damn necklace.

Speaking of which, it's still around your neck.

As Choso panics and his brain goes frantic whilst trying to figure out the proper thing to say or do, his eyes suddenly catch sight of the jewelry in question. He's no stranger to accessories, especially the ones you wear so, it doesn't take much thought to realize that not only is the item expensive but it's also new.

His mouth is moving on his own and Choso fails to hold his tongue, "Is that from him?"

You move to wipe your eyes with your sleeves and then look at Choso for only a second before dropping your gaze down to where his is. "Yeah," You sap, only saddened more and more by the second.

A hand is lifted to the item and you watch Choso run his fingers beneath the item for a long moment. He's deep in thought, still trying to figure out how he should handle this situation.

"I-It's his Christmas gift to me," You continue, seeing no point in lying or avoiding an explanation, "T-That's why I'm so... S-So damn-," You sniffle again, "E-Emotional. First him with this and then y-you with the painting and the tattoo and I just don't get it. Nothing makes sense anymore. I think I want you b-but I also think I want him a-and he's bad for me but he can also be so fucking good to me, and I just-"

Choso cuts you off by voicing your name in an emotionless tone. He realizes where he needs to take this conversation and before he gets pissed off, he wants to stop you from talking. His hand leaves your neck and he rests it in his lap, flicking his gaze back up to your eyes.

The man's eyes are still full of emotion, despite his dry tone, "You just told me a bunch of shit that has nothing to do with me." Choso says and he nearly sounds upset but he's not.

"I-I'm sorry," You frown and look away from him, feeling like he's mad at you. Which, wasn't exactly helping your scrambled emotions.

Choso shakes his head, "Don't be," His tone softens and he takes a really deep breath, "I'm not mad at you, princess. And uh, you have nothing to be sorry for."

You're still crying and your head is starting to hurt, "But-"

"No buts." He interrupts, "I uhm... I don't know why you started telling me about him?" Choso says in a questioning tone, chuckling a little. He then leans in closer to you, "Baby it's me and you right now." He emphasizes, angling his head to the side a little so that you can meet his gaze, "Hey, look at me."

You struggle to, biting your lower lip and just barely placing your eyes on his.

"That's it," Choso praises, his voice now as gentle as it should've been from the beginning. "It's just me and you, princess. Don't compare what I do to what he's done because none of that matters when you're with me."

"Choso I..." You trail off, your crying continuing as you go unsure of what to say.

"If it's too much, I can get the tattoo removed. It's not that big of a deal, trust me I won't be upset. And, while I'm glad you told me that there's another guy," Choso sighs heavily, "I don't need you to tell me about what he does or doesn't do for you."

You swallow and simply keep your weeping eyes on his as he speaks.

He's clearly calmed down from the initial emotions he felt and he knows how to speak to you in a way that makes you feel comforted, "I don't care about what he says to you or what he buys for you and you shouldn't either. If he's an asshole, let him be that. Why would you let him bring you to these emotions?"

"Because Choso," You try not to choke over your words, "He just..."

"Does he tell you he loves you? Is that why?" Choso asks carefully.

You nod your head yes.

Choso comforts you with a little smile, "I mean... I do too." He suddenly says.

"W-What?" You whisper, confused by his words.

The man shrugs, "I love you," Choso claims proudly, his affirmation caressing the wounds of your poor confused heart in more ways than one. "In case I haven't made that clear, especially after two months of separation..." His hands move to yours and he holds them tightly while gazing into your eyes, "I love you."

"C-Choso, you don't... you're joking, r-right?" You whine, your voice light and airy as you only continue to sink into your sadness.

He shakes his head, "No, princess. I mean it, I'm in love with you. This isn't exactly how I planned on confessing but," He shrugs a little, "You need to know. I'm not that other guy so, I-I can't make it sound all pretty or buy you the world like he probably can but..."

You stare at him with wide eyes as you await his next words.

Choso leans closer to you, his grasp on your hands tightening before he pulls them up to his mouth and kisses across your knuckles, "I can give you mine. Can't' buy you the world baby but, I can give you all I have. M'not rich like him so I can't buy your smiles b-but," He stammers over his words as he grows nervous, "I can give you the best parts of me."

"Choso..." You just frown. You've never known how exactly to respond to these confessions.

"All I can do is hope that's enough," Choso continues, "I hope I'm enough, baby."

"Y-You are Choso," You say quickly, "You're more than enough for m-me. I'm just... I'm just dumb and I c-can't pick," You ramble, suddenly degrading yourself as you place the blame for it all on yourself. You close your eyes, "It's all my fault, I shouldn't be doing this to you, you don't deserve this. I-If it wasn't for-"

"Hey, stop that," Choso interrupts, "Don't... Don't blame yourself. You can't control people falling for you. You can control how people treat you or how they confuse you-"

"It is my fault though," You cut off, opening your soaked eyes, "M-Maybe if I... If I just..." You couldn't even get it out because that would mean revealing the list. Instead, your brows tense and your sobbing furthers, "If I just... i-ignored y-you... and m-maybe him-"

A pair of hands gently cup your face and Choso pulls you to him, "It's not your fault." He whispers.

"But I-"

He utters your name, "Stop. It's not your fault, okay?"

"Then who's is it if not mine?" You whine, "Hm? Who do I blame-"

"Everyone else," Choso says, "Blame me, blame him, it doesn't matter. Just, don't blame yourself when it's not your fault."

"I-"

Your name is spoken, "It is not your fault." Choso voices out yet again, "I mean, I... I always had a feeling, y'know? Like, I was always scared of this."

Your brows tense more than they already are, "S-Scared of what?"

"Losing you to someone else," Choso explains, "When you said you weren't ready for a relationship, I knew I had to distance myself but... Had I known this would happen, I would've never left. I don't know if it's because of him that you didn't want a relationship but-"

"I-It's not, I swear Choso, that's just me." You're sure to make sure it's clear that everything is coming from you and not because of anything else, "I'm just not ready for one. It has nothing to do with you or him, it's just me."

"So, if he asked to be your boyfriend like I did, what would you say?"

"He wouldn't." You hum, "That's the thing, Cho. He's in love with me but he acts like he's not allowed to be and then he'll purposefully be an asshole to try and push me away. All of that on top of the fact that he's keeping things from me that'll change the way I see him and-"

"Baby," Choso calls softly, "It sounds like... I dunno it just seems like when choosing between me and him, your choice should be as clear as day." He says, "He's complicated and I'm not. What's the real reason as to why it's hard for you to pick?"

"Choso... You don't get it." You cry, "He'd tell me how I make him whole. How he'd do anything for me. H-How I'm his eternity. How... e-even in death... his heart would beat for me." You choke out, crying as you recite the words of another man to one who loves you just as much.

The male beside you nods understandingly, "So it is his words?"

"N-No, I-"

"Do you think I wouldn't do the same?" Choso cuts off passionately. "He may die for you but darling, I'm willing to live for you."

Your breath hitches, "I-"

"You're his eternity and an eternity is exactly what I'd wait for you to come running into my arms," There's not an ounce of hesitation in his words, each syllable coated with genuine love, "I will wait for you until you tell me not to. I'm yours even if you aren't mine."

"Choso, please-"

"I crave you. Only you. Your touch, your stares, your smile, your smell, your laughter, your love-- you are the only person I want." Choso pours out, "I will never love anyone the way I love you. Even if you tell me to move on, even if I end up with someone else, never will I be able to experience the bliss that is yearning for you again."

You smile through your tears, "I t-thought you weren't good with words?"

"I'm not," Choso chuckles breathily, "But... T-There's things I've rehearsed saying to you, I just needed to wait for the right time."

"And now's that time?"

"Now is that time." He confirms, "You make me nervous, y'know? I get shy around you, I start sweating, I stammer on my words sometimes, and I love the eye contact but your gaze mesmerizes me. I'm stuck in a sense of wanting to break and continue the eye contact at the same time." Choso admits to you.

There's this blooming in the pit of your stomach as you listen to him, all while still looking into his eyes and holding his hands. "Choso you don't have to force yourself to say these things..."

"It's not forced, trust me. I mean every word but, I'm usually not good at getting them out." He shrugs a little, "So, to make up for that, I try to put it into my art. This is why I call you my muse. Every artistic thing I've done recently has been done with you in mind."

"Choso I can't..." You sniffle strongly, "I don't know what t-to say."

"You don't have to say anything. I..." He takes a deep breath, "I've been trying to work up the courage and tell you all this for months. Before I left, I should've said every word on that damn painting to you. I should've told you about how hard I've fallen for you."

Your crying is a bit more at ease now, having slowed down simply because of his caressing tone and his well-thought-out words.

"Again, words aren't my thing and they never will be but," A single tear trickles out of his eyes, "Please hear me when I say I'm all yours. I will wait and wait and wait for you to want me, to accept me, and to have me. If I was given one purpose in this world it's to love you, to cherish you as if you were my last breath, to make you happy by any means, and t-to... to be or do whatever it is you want me to."

God damn. What are you supposed to make of such a confession? First Gojo and now Choso. Both of their confessions weigh heavy in your mind. You don't even know who's would be considered better or who's you'd want to accept and fall for.

Blinking away what's left of your tears, you pull a hand from his grasp and wipe away the single tear that he let slip out, smiling softly but brokenly at the man, "Choso, you liar," You say teasingly, "You're perfect with words."

"A-Am I as good as him?" Choso questions, a slight pout taking over his expression. He's not sure where it came from but he was suddenly comparing himself to whoever his competition is.

You tilt your head, "That doesn't matter, remember?" You whisper, moving to hold the side of his face with your hand, "It's jus' you and me, right?"

He chuckles a little, "Yeah... S-Sorry..."

"It's okay," Your words are coming out more lovingly than you knew.

"U-Uhm, and if none of that was direct enough," Choso leans into your touch before bringing his hand over your own, "I'll say it as many times as needed; I love you. You make me feel so comfortable, so secure without even saying anything, I wish I... I wish I could explain it more... I wish I could audibly paint the feelings you give me."

"It's okay, Choso. I don't need you to say it, I can feel and see it," You reply. Your voice is a bit hoarse now from the crying but neither of you mind.

"Unlike my normal work, it'd be so vibrant and filled with so many shades," Choso expresses artistically, "Every moment with you gives me a reason to be. I want to be able to love you in every way possible so that you can understand it. Please allow me to adorn you with my love, let me illustrate my feelings into your heart."

You smile fully, unable to stop yourself, "That's so beautiful, Cho. Who am I to deny you of such a request?"

His expression mirrors your own, a sappy emotional smile spreading across his face, "I love you so much."

The words begin to leave your lips without you even thinking, "I lo-"

"Don't," He cuts off carefully, "Don't say it back until you're ready."

"But," You swallow down the claim, "What if I'm ready now?"

"You're not." He chuckles lightly.

Your brows furrow, "How do you know?"

"Because," Choso sighs, "You're just not. You and I both will know when you're ready. But as of now, you're not."

"But-"

"No buts, princess."

A pout takes over your expression, "So how am I supposed to respond to you saying you love me?"

He shrugs, "Say thank you." Choso chuckles playfully.

"Thank you??" You scoff, "That feels mean."

"Saying it back without meaning it or knowing if that's how you really feel is mean," Choso explains, "I'd prefer you either say nothing or say thank you, you know how I feel about lies..."

Your voice gets stuck somewhere in your throat. Of course he'd say that now after you'd been lying to him since the day you met him. Well, does not telling him about the list really count as a lie?

You're not sure but you sigh at the man, "Okay, fine. Thank you for loving me, Choso."

He flashes that sexy yet lazy smile of his, "You're welcome, baby."

With that, you were suddenly feeling how you normally feel with Choso-- at peace. You didn't realize it but the two of your souls had found a heavy sense of salvation in one another, your hearts and minds binding together unconsciously as your eyes gazed into his.

Sanctuary was discovered within his eyes and you knew in that moment that Choso meant it when he said he'd wait for you. As long as it takes, as long as you needed, he'd be there for you when you were ready. Part of you wishes this conversation had taken place before he left, maybe things would have gone differently...

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ .　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

"So uhm," Choso starts up again after a while, breaking the eye contact and looking down to his waist for a moment, "Do I really have to get it removed?"

"Uhm..." You think for a second and then shrug, "It's up to you, Cho. It's your body-"

"No," He cuts off, looking up and into your eyes once more, "I belong to you."

That makes your heart skip a beat or two. Choso says it so openly and quickly that it's almost frightening. How can someone be so devoted to you?

"Choso, you do know you're your own person, right?" You hum, laughing a little.

He shrugs, "I mean, in a literal sense, yes. But even so," He turns to face you a bit more, "I'm still yours."

"Yeah?" You whisper.

Choso bites his lower lip and glances down to your lips, "Yes baby, m'all yours."

Your hand goes to his jaw and you caress his skin with your thumb as the two of you peer into one another's eyes, "Even after I told you there's someone else?"

"Told' you I don't give a shit about him," Choso spits out, one of his hands going to your waist and casually tugging you a bit closer, "You could go tell him for all I care, tell him you don't need him because you have me."

You chuckle, "That's not nice, Cho."

"Ask me if I care." He says, his voice lowering, "He hurt your feelings and confused you so, why can't you hurt his?"

You roll your eyes playfully at Choso's words, "It's not that simple, baby."

"Yes it is-," He pauses. "Wait, what?" Choso blinks, trying to figure out if he misheard you, "What'd you just say?"

"I said it's not that simple," You tease.

He shakes his head, "Nahh, what'd you say after that? What'd you call me?"

"I didn't call you anything."

"Yes you did, you called me baby," Choso says.

"I-" You're cut off by him tugging you by your waist and then pulling your leg over him.

The man situates you in his lap, "Say it again." He orders.

"W-What?" You laugh nervously, "Say what again, Cho?"

"C'mon, call me that again." Choso requests, "Please?"

"Call you what?? Cho?" You ask innocently.

He pouts and his hands slip under your shirt, his fingers warm as they trace the frame of your waist, "Call me baby again."

"Why?" You hum as you tilt your head at him.

Choso grips onto your sides and you feel his hips lift into you ever so slightly, making your breath stutter. "Because I liked it, I like any nickname you call me." He claims.

You chuckle at him and move to cup his face in your palms, soon swiping your thumb under his eye to rid the residue of his tear, "You're so cute, Choso."

He bites his lip, "Am I?"

"Mhm." You hum.

"What else?" Choso asks, raising a brow.

"You want me to say more??" You scoff a little, "Want' me to start listing the things I like about you?"

He shrugs a little, "After hearing that I have competition... I won't lie, it'd be nice to know what you like about me..."

You release a soft sigh, "Well... I actually love the way you look at me."

"Love?" Choso echos, "You love the way I look at you?"

Your head nods, "Mhm."

"Why?"

"It's like... I dunno, I feel seen. But not in a physical or literal sense," You try to explain as best as you can, "In like, a spiritual sense almost? It's like you see... me?"

Choso smiles at you, "I get what you mean."

"Yeah, well, I really love that. Uhm, I also like your face," You murmur, squishing his cheeks in your hand a little as you do so, to which he laughs. "Sometimes you can be really cute and other times you can be really sexy."

"Yeah?" Choso's cheesing at this point, "Which do you prefer?"

"I dunno, I like you both ways." You tell him with a little shrug.

"Mhm..." The male nods his head, his eyes never leaving yours.

"I also like how family-oriented you are," You point out, "The way you care for Yuji is so admirable."

"Is it really?"

"Yeah, and it's cute the way you boast about him and your other brothers," You say.

Choso shrugs, "I didn't think anyone would pay that much attention to the way I talk about them."

"I do."

"And that's exactly why I love you."

You smile, "Right. Now, since we're on that topic, tell me why."

"Why I love you?" He asks with a slight tilt of his head.

Your hands slip down from his face and snake around his neck as you lean into him a little, "Mhm."

"Your fuckin' eyes," Choso breathes out, "From the day we ran into each other in the hallway, I've been obsessed. I love your eyes. I love it when you look at me, even when you're mad or sad, I can't help but love all the things I see in your eyes."

You bat your eyelashes at him, "Aw, really?"

"Yeah, you say so many things through your gaze." Choso expresses, "I always pay attention to them."

"Is that your favorite thing about me or something?" You giggle.

"I think so, yeah," He grins, "It's hard to pick just one thing but yeah, that might be my favorite."

Your smile grows and the male below you is so enamored by you.

"Even when we'd uh... y'know... I'll always prefer to be able to look you in the eyes," Choso claims.

You raise a brow and act innocent, "When we what?"

"You know what."

"No, I don't..."

"When we fuck, princess." Choso says with a sassy roll of his eyes, "I like watching the way your eyes roll back when my cock is stuffed inside you jus' right-"

"Holy f-fuck, okay, okay, you didn't have to say all that," You rush out to the man, your face heating up.

He snickers, "Why? Are you still embarrassed about the things we've done?"

"K-Kinda..." You murmur.

"Aww, that's so cute," Choso coos, "Remember when I made you squirt all over my car seats?"

Your eyes widen, "Choso-"

"Or that time you passed out on me because I was eating you out for too long."

"Choso I swear-"

He smirks, knowing his words are riling you up, "Fuck, wait, or that time you had my legs shaking because of how good you rode me-"

"Choso!" You cut off, your eyes widening and your arousal suddenly increasing as you recall each time, "I r-remember it all, you don't have to remind me."

"My bad..." He murmurs innocently. Then, he tips his head to the side, "Do you really remember though?"

You roll your eyes, "Of course I remember."

"No, not just the sex itself," Choso goes on to explain, "Do you remember how it felt?"

"Duh-"

One of his hands shifts from your waist and to your stomach, pushing against your skin slightly, "No baby, do you remember how deep inside you my cock goes?"

Your breathing grows a bit heavier, "Y-Yeah-"

"Tell me then," Choso smirks mischievously, "Explain to me where you usually feel me."

"C-Choso-"

"Nope, don't C-Choso me," The man mocks you dramatically, making his voice all high-pitched for a second to tease you, "Explain it to me or I'll remind you," He says in a surprisingly lowered voice.

Your eyes narrow at the way he mocked you and you then roll your eyes. "Remind me then."

"Askin' or tellin' me to?" Choso questions for clarification.

You send him a serious look, "I'm telling you to." You reply, moving your hands to his shoulders, "Remind me how deep inside me you reach."

Choso swallows, "Verbally or physically?"

"Maybe both," You shrug.

He smirks and his hands slip down to your hips. As soon as his fingers settle in place, you roll your crotch forward a little and he inhales sharply.

"Both?" Choso whispers out.

"You heard me," You hum.

He pulls his lower lip into his mouth for a second before you suddenly grind yourself backward and make his brows furrowed and his lips part to release a breath of air.

"Shit," Choso curses.

You lean closer to his face and arch your back a little as you do so, pressing your chest against his, "C'mon now, baby. Remind me how deep inside me you reach."

His cock twitches to life at the sound of the nickname and your sudden sultry tone, "You know how deep inside you I reach, princess."

You shake your head, "I don't care, remind me."

Choso tips his head back against the couch and smiles, "You want me to fuck you, don't you?"

"Did I not make it obvious enough yet?" You ask, tilting your head.

Choso gently humps his growing erection up against your warmth, "It's been a minute, princess..."

"So?"

"I'm really pent up," Choso explains, "You sure you want me to take that out on you?"

You bite your lower lip in thought, "Mhm." You hum in response after a minute.

He scoffs, "Yeah?" Choso licks his lips, "I went two months without you... Do you know what that does to a man?"

"Two months without pussy?" You purposefully chuckle at him in a taunting manner, "I'm sure you're fine-"

Choso groans out your name and his eyelids lower, "I'm about to fuck the shit outta' you."

"Do it then." You challenged.

How did you two go from confessing to here? You don't know and you don't think you really care. After all, it's not the first time sex has been intertwined with emotions. And when it's Choso, you're all the more excited for it.

He sighs loudly, "Before I do, remember' our safe word?"

Oh, you'd almost forgotten. The two of you did end up needing one... Especially after the man would eat you out until he wasn't even breathing anymore. He nearly passed out on you a few times because he'd forgotten to breathe. Plus, Choso tended to get rough every now and then.

"Vanilla," You chuckle out, "Don't worry, I remember."

He nods, "Good," Choso then leans forward and kisses you briefly, "Cause' I'm about to fuck you til' your cum is all over my legs."

And just like that, you were ridiculously horny. "Fuck, that's so..." You swallow down your words, "S-Since when do you talk like that, Cho?"

He stares at you with lustful eyes, "Since I went two months without you." Choso claims, "I told you... I'm really pent up."

"You poor thing," You murmur, purposefully frowning at him.

"Don't tease me." He grunts.

"It's okay, Cho..." You whisper, leaning toward him again, "You can take it all out on me."

GOJO SATORU ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙀𝙖𝙨𝙮

GETO SUGURU ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙀𝙖𝙨𝙮

TOJI FUSHIGURO ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙈𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙪𝙢

KAMO CHOSO ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙎𝙚𝙢𝙞-𝙈𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙪𝙢 / 𝙀𝙖𝙨𝙮

ZEN'IN NAOYA ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙀𝙭𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙡𝙮 𝙀𝙖𝙨𝙮

ITADORI SUKUNA ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙎𝙚𝙢𝙞-𝙀𝙖𝙨𝙮???

NANAMI KENTO ☐ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙃𝙖𝙧𝙙

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[howlsofbloodhounds]

In interpretations where Dust has, keeps, and especially wears Papyrus’ scarf, i think people should make Killer more uncomfortable and uneasy with that fact.

He will certainly not say it, he will avoid or intellectualize those emotions as if they’re happening to someone else when in Stage 2–as if it doesn’t really matter, and there’s certainly no emotion behind any actions he may take to have Murder remove it (totally), whatever logical justification he can tries to come up with—but I do believe he’d be uncomfortable with Papyrus’ murderer wearing anything of his.

Would probably make him physically sick, just like it does whenever he remembers what he did to Papyrus, even if he says he’s fine and possibly even believes it.

I say this because, before his soul changed and he became Killer and even after killing Paprus with the human himself multiple times by that point, he was still very uncomfortable whenever the human wore it. He almost seemed to enter a state of being unable to say or do anything besides stare.

Something about how Murder always, always, sees the human in Killer and cannot bring himself to look past it; but in some ways, Murder reminds Killer of the human too.

Edit: *does not want to feel or remember anything that could trigger him into Stage 1. And *overwhelming guilt in st1, repressed in st2.