#and literally he’s the ONLY PERSON ON THE PLANET WHO THINKS YOU’RE COOL

[mutalune]

I think one of the objectively funniest (in a tragedy-irony-way) things about Crowley is that to us the audience we are so very aware that he is so in love it makes him the stupidest idiot on the planet but like if you see his behavior from Aziraphale’s perspective????

Crowley, doing his damnedest to protect Aziraphale without letting Aziraphale know + following behind him all the time (looking at you, Prepping for The Bookshop Ball arc!!!!) literally just means that Aziraphale is off in his own little world doing his own little tasks like playing matchmaker and detective and newspaperman, with literally 0 idea that Crowley is gagging for it every day of the week

(hence: “you’re being silly!” Instead of him being like “oh dang crowley’s actually bothered” like when Crowley “plays it cool” and us as the audience is like “oh he’s faking!” Aziraphale is not the audience and it kinda works on him!!! He‘s busy with his detective work he doesn’t have time to notice that Crowley is being weird when Crowley’s always vague and kinda weird by default to him!!!)

like that’s comedy babes I’m sorry it’s so funny to me

RIP Crowley unfortunately you must learn to tolerate the mortifying ordeal of being known even if that means aziraphale stops thinking you’re cool and mysterious

[wonhoscumrag]

Gepard brainrot thought #2

A/N: The way i started typing and didnt stop, im literally just rambling towards the end.

I hope you enjoy

ପ(๑•ᴗ•๑)ଓ ♡

Thinking about Captain Gepard making a speech to the city in Belobog Square in the morning and he makes direct eye contact with you in a crowd of people. He tries to keep a stone face while talking but then you give a not-so-subtle wink at him and he briefly pauses mid-speech but clears his throat to continue.

He avoids looking in your general direction but he can’t help but look back at you again. The next time he does however you jokingly blow a kiss at him. Even from a far distance, you can see the redness that flares up in his cheeks. The guards look at each other in confusion wondering what’s up with their captain but they figure it’s probably the warmth from the heaters and his suit.

At this point, you feel a little guilty so you decide to lay off him. He’s done these things a million times and always does it so flawlessly so it’s kinda funny seeing him lose his composure like this. You decide to think of a way to reassure him from the crowd.

Gepard feels himself start to relax when he looks down at his sheet and sees that he’s almost done with his speech. He gives a quiet sigh of relief before concluding. However he can’t help when his gaze wanders over to you again, he doesn’t mind tho all he expects is to find you making another joking gesture. However, what he finds instead from you is a genuine supportive smile and suddenly his brain goes blank.

The crowd starts to whisper among themselves. In Gepard's POV, all he hears is white noise and the image of the entire crowd is blocked from his vision. All he can see is you and he feels as if he’s been transported to another world where you’re the only two people on the planet.

From the crowd, however, they see the captain of the Silvermane Guards freeze mid-sentence with his mouth halfway open. Your face starts to morph from confusion to panic. You’re looking around alongside the crowd wondering what’s going on. You didn’t do anything distracting this time so what happened? The murmuring among the crowd gets louder and turns into chatter. The guards are looking among themselves just as lost as the crowd. Their captain is usually the cool, calm and collected type of person. It’s hard to believe that a crowd like this would faze him.

In an instant, Gepard is snapped back to earth. The reality of the situation hits him like a (truck). The best thing he can do now is to just read out the last few sentences of his speech and walk away with what’s left of his dignity. “Uh-um and so…” he hears himself stutter into the mic through the speakers. He inwardly cringes at this whole situation and finishes his speech like a true professional.

There’s mixed reception from the citizens. Some clap out of respect and others giggle and gossip. You watch as Gepard calls attention to his guards and they march away back to their stations to do their daily tasks. From behind you, you hear Serval laughing as hard as humanly possible. It was evident she did her best to hold it in the whole time out of courtesy for her younger brother. You turn to face her and try to defend him in some way. “It really wasn’t that funny” you try to speak up over Serval's hysterics. A part of you low-key wants to laugh too but you won’t until you see him again and ask if he’s okay.

You hear footsteps coming from behind you but before you can turn around to see who it is you're pulled into the familiar and comforting arms of the man you love. You hear Serval laugh harder and Molly is trying to calm her down. "Hey, are you doing okay?" your voice sounds muffled by his uniform. It's not rare for the two of you to show physical displays of affection but him making the first move is certainly not common, especially in public.

It's weird, Gepard knows he should care but in all honesty, he can't bring it in himself to feel embarrassed right now. The moment he held you in his arms all his nerves and worries melted away. He raises one of his arms that's wrapped around your waist and moves it to softly stroke your head. He smiles and softly responds "Never better".

[girlboypersonthingy]

I live for active VLD blogs

anyways I love your writing style! could i please request going with the paladins on a space walk and admiring space and telling g each other they love them? preferably she/her pronouns but they/them is fine and thank you :)

HELLO ANON 😏 thank you so much for requesting! So, I only write x readers as gender neutral and with they/them pronouns. I just want anyone and everyone who reads my writing to be able to imagine themselves in the story, regardless of their gender or lack there of. I also try not to add any detail about skin color/race, weight, height, ect. I just want to be as inclusive as possible! Thanks for understanding and I hope you enjoy 💖

Ps: I only included the main 5 paladins cuz this was getting soooo long and I wanted to finish this in one day!

SPACE DATE 💫

It was a nice day off for you, rare but greatly appreciated. You’re happy that your day will be calm and stress free, but…you’re kind of bored. Besides training, what else was there to do with yourself? Just as you’re racking your brain with ideas of what you can do with all your free time, you hear a knock at your door. You’re quick to jump up from bed and open it, your favorite person on the other side.

“Hi.” “Hey.” There’s a brief moment of silence as you stare at each other. “Wanna…go for a walk?” You smile a bit but raise a questioning brow. “Like…around the castle?” “No, out in space.” You laugh softly for a second. “Oh…oh wait. You’re serious?” “Yeah, let’s find a nice looking planet and take a stroll.” A dreamy smile forms on your face as you nod slowly. “Sounds like a date.”

KEITH ❤️

Keith had taken you in the red lion to a tiny planet not too far from where the castle is now. It was so small, in fact, that you two began walking in silence and found your way back to the lion in a matter of minutes. You walked the entirety of the planet in literally 12 minutes. The planet was small and simple, having light blue skies and grass similar to Earth. Keith finally breaks the silence as you stand still now. “Welp…I guess I picked the tiniest and most boring planet ever.” This causes a soft laugh to leave your mouth as you step closer to him. “No, that’s not true. This is so cool! We can tell everyone back on Earth that we walked the entire planet in mere minutes! That’s hella cool! It’s perfect for a first date.”

You sit down in the lush green grass and let your hands gently run over it, the texture reminding you of when you were a kid playing in the grass at the park. It was quiet again, so you look up at Keith who is still standing beside you. “What are you thinking about?” You question, seeing his face turning pink behind his long dark hair. “You said…first date.” You nod and watch him glance down at you then quickly avert his gaze when he sees you staring up at him. “Yeah, and?” He slowly sits beside you, his arms resting on his knees. “Does…does that mean…we can go on more?” His voice is so soft now, you have to lean closer to hear him. “Of course. But you’ve got a busier schedule than me, Mr. Red Paladin. So, you let me know when you’re down for a second date.”

You’ve never seen such a huge grin on his usually grumpy face and that makes a huge, dorky grin form on your own face. “You’re cute.” You tell him before your hand gently rests on his shoulder. “No, you.” Is all he offers in response before he removes your hand from his shoulder and holds it tightly in his own. It was often like this with you two, short soft spoken phrases with gentle touching. “You really are though.” You give his hand a squeeze as you watch his lips move. “What?” “Cute. You’re…r-really cute.” And suddenly, the words just began to flow from his mouth. “I love being alone with you, (Y/N). You’re the nicest person I’ve ever met and I adore you and you’re always so easy to talk to and you just get me and I…I just love you so much.”

Your once smiley face has turned to one of shock. “You love me?” You ask, voice barely above a whisper. “Yeah. Like…a lot.” He responds just as quiet and you’re at a loss for words now. You’ve loved this stubborn boy for so long now but you were never sure how he felt about you. It was obvious he liked you as more than a friend but love was a strong word. “You don’t have to say it back. I just need you to know that I love you.” You struggle to find the right words now. “I love you too! I’m sorry…I just…wow. I don’t know, I’m just…” He is staring at you now, trying to read your expression. “I’m sorry. I’m not good with words…and you’re making me nervous.” You say before chewing on your lip nervously. He moves his hand in yours to interlace your fingers. “Shit…I’m sorry. Maybe it’s too soon for me to have-“ You’re quick to stop that train of thought. “No no! I really do love you too, Keith. I guess I just thought I’d be the one to say it to you first and now I’m just…speechless.”

“I’m not good with words either. Let’s just shut up now.” He keeps his hand in yours as you both embrace the silence once again. He’s staring at his shoes now, the smallest smile on his lips and you watch his face, wondering what he’s thinking now. All that’s running through his dense head is “I really do love you too, Keith.” He can’t get your voice out of his head for weeks. The way you followed the ‘I love you too’ with his name just made him feel all gooey inside. He’s got it soooo bad for you.

PIDGE 💚

Of course Pidge takes you somewhere cool as fuck. “Look! There’s four moons! Isn’t that the coolest thing you’ve ever seen?” They are excitedly pointing and rambling, long scientific words spilling from their mouth at a rapid pace. You were always a little lost when Pidge got like this and they knew that, but you always listened and nodded along and they loved that about you. You never interrupt, you just listen and try to follow along. “Wow, the air here is safe for us to breathe.” They check the info about this planet on a gadget attached to their wrist before they pull off their helmet. You copy them, pulling your helmet off with a sigh.

“Wow. It’s beautiful.” That’s all you could come up with after the long rant Pidge just went on about this amazing planet and it’s many moons. You’re looking around, admiring the dark and barren land surrounding you as Pidge’s gaze locks onto you. As you turn your head, your eyes meet. “What?” You tilt your head at them as they continue to stare. Like…hardcore stare until they finally speak up. “You’re the only one who listens to me.” Your lips slowly turn to a soft frown. “What? No way. Hunk is always more responsive with this stuff than I am. And what about Matt? You guys literally complete each other’s sentences.” Pidge looks down at their shoes, gently moving some dirt around with their foot. “Yeah, but you’re missing the point. You actually LISTEN. You make me feel heard. You never talk over me or try to out smart me or even ask questions when I know you have no idea what I’m saying.” This causes an embarrassed blush to appear on your face. “Yeah. I just…like your voice.” They look back to you, their lips turning up into a grin. “I like /your/ voice.” They shoot back in response before they step closer to you.

Now only inches apart, eyes gazing into each other’s, you’re both consumed by red hot blushes and shy smiles. “So…is this…like actually a date?” You ask at a low volume, nervous for their reply. “Do you…want it to be?” You nod as you clasp your hands together behind your back, still keeping eye contact with the green Paladin. “Then it is. The first of many. Uh…I-I mean if that’s what you want. Is that…is that what you want?” Suddenly, the little genius seems to be stumbling over their words, obviously nervous about the lack of space between you and the way your sparkling eyes won’t look away from them. “More than anything.” And your response has them giggling with excitement. “Cool. Cool.”

You begin to wander, bending down to pick up interesting rocks and looking up at the dark blue sky. You look back, seeing Pidge glued to their spot. “I thought we were gonna walk.” Your voice brings them back to reality, making them scurry over to your side. “Right. Sorry.” They loop their arm in yours, walking slowly with you. It was quiet for a bit before Pidge began ranting again. “You know, the gravity on this planet is just less than on Earth.” You nod and look over at their face, noticing a smirk on their thin lips. “Yeah? What’s with the face?” “I bet I could pick you up.” “No.” “Come on, let me try!” “No, Pidge. Pidge! Don’t you dare- AH!”

A yelp rips from your throat as Pidge sweeps your legs out from under you, picking you up bridal style. “Oh my god, YOU BETTER NOT DROP ME!” You can’t help but laugh at the face they’re making right now. Their whole face and neck are turning red, they’re holding their breath and you can feel them shaking. All they ever want is to impress you. “Wow, my Prince Charming.” You lean in to kiss their cheek just as their muscles give out on them. Instead of dropping you completely, they fall to their knees with you still in their thin arms. They smile sheepishly, admiring the way you’re laughing, taking note of your squinted eyes and the small wrinkles around them.

“I love you.” They blurt out, their smile never dropping. “What?” “I love you, (Y/N).” They repeat plainly, watching for your reaction. “I love you too, Pidge.” You feel them sink down to the ground more, still holding your legs in one arm and your back against the other arm. They’re not the strongest on the team, that’s for sure, but seeing the deep sincerity in your eyes when you declare your love for them made them sooooo weak~

LANCE 💙

Lance had brought you to the first planet he saw and after landing, you sat in his lion for longer than expected, just chit chatting and enjoying alone time together. “I thought we were gonna go for a walk, lover boy. Stop flirting and take me on a walk already.” He flashes a cheeky grin before standing from his seat, dramatically gesturing towards the exit from his lion. “After you, darling.” His multitude of pet names for you always made your heart race when he said them, always different and ever changing. You walked down out of blue’s mouth, gasping slightly when you realized the gravity here was similar to the moon of Earth. It took several seconds for your feet to gently meet the ground, making you and Lance get all giddy and excited. “Oh my god, this is so sick!” He exclaims before he’s trying but failing to run to you. He forgot for a second that he couldn’t run at the same speed here that he could on Earth. This leaves you laughing so hard you’re gasping for air. Lance never failed to make you smile and laugh and feel genuine happiness when you two were together.

You watch with a smile still stuck to your face as he tries to make his way over to you, his lanky limbs swimming through the air. He reaches out for you, huffing when you ignore his hand just inches away from yours. “(Y/N)! I wanna be close to you.” He whines, finally making you grab his hand and pull him to you. He’s fast now as he pulls himself up against you, his arms wrapping around your shoulders. “Mmm I love you~” He sort of moans, finding great comfort in your embrace. You’re silent now, eyes wide with surprise. “Huh?” He pulls back to look you in the eye, his typical flirty facial expression causing you to blush all over. “I said…” And he leans in to your ear, whispering in a deeper voice now. “I love you.” As he tries to pull back and get a good look at your dumb and flustered expression, you hide your face in his neck, hugging him tighter. “Shut up.” “I mean it.” “Yeah right.”

Now as he pulls back, he looks very serious, almost concerned. “I’m serious, (Y/N). You think I’m messing with you?” You look up at him now, biting your lip as you think of what to say to him. He flirts with everyone, even with Keith sometimes. How were you to know if he was truly into you or not? Sure, you were head over heels for him but…are you enough for him? “Oh my god. And they say I’M the dumb one.” His comment causes you to lean away from him. “Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’m in love with you, stupid…like so hardcore. Listen…” He sighs. “The flirting with other people…I’m sorry, it’s just a nervous tick for me. I’m not good at making friends so I flirt and try to be funny. That’s all I really know how to do. I’m…I’m really only into YOU though, (Y/N). Seriously. You gotta believe me. I swear-“ You stop him. “I love you too, Lance.” And now he’s smiling again, nearly melting out of your arms as he admires your plump and smiling cheeks. “You do?” He asks in an excited, high pitched tone, making you laugh again. You can’t go a single second without laughing when you’re around him, he just has that affect on you. “Obviously.” You reply, watching him wiggle with happiness. He pulls you against him tightly, nearly squeezing the air out of you. You didn’t mind, you’d happily let him crush you to death in his arms. It would be the best way to go.

“I want you to be my partner. Let’s go steady.” He says in all seriousness and now you’re pushing him away. “Ewwww you’re so cheesy. ‘Go steady’.” You mock him. “You’re straight out of an 80’s romcom movie, I swear to god.” He laughs as you push him harder, making him float away from you. “Hey! Get back here! I’m not done expressing my feelings for you! Come on, (Y/N)! I love youuuuu.” He continues to pester you as you both swim through the atmosphere, your cheeks hurting from how hard you’re smiling.

SHIRO 🖤

Shiro totally let you decide where to land and took soooo much time checking to make sure it was safe for you two to exit the black lion. Finally, without speaking, he grabs your hand and pulls you out into the vast openness of space. The planet you chose was huge and pretty dark, it was almost spooky. Shiro watches you for a moment, smiling sweetly as you examined your surroundings. You could really see the stars around you due to the lack of light and it took your breath away. “Wow…the stars look so pretty! I’ve never seen the stars like this.”

Suddenly, you feel his big arms circle loosely around your shoulders from behind. “Isn’t it wild how different things look this far away from Earth.” He speaks softly to you, his helmet gently resting against your own. “It’s truly remarkable.” You respond before turning around to look at him. Usually Shiro knows all the right things to say, but similar to Keith, his throat goes dry and his mind goes blank when you look him in the eye.

It’s quiet for a moment before you finally decide to speak up. “This is so-“ “I’m glad we got the chance-“ You speak at the same time before you both break out into laughter. “Sorry, sorry you go-“ “You talk first-“ You laugh more as you continue to talk over each other. “I was gonna say…I’m glad we finally got the chance to sneak away from the others. I love spending time with you like this, Takashi.” You see his lip quiver as his face begins to feel hot. He wants to respond but he forgot what he was even gonna say in the first place. Shiro is malfunctioning at this point. No one has called him by his full first name in quite some time but the way you say it makes him lose it for a second.

He leans in towards you, his eyes fluttering closed as he wraps his arms around you more. You can’t help but smile as your eyes mimic his, leaning in closer. Your palms are resting on his hard chest and you’re standing on your tippy toes to get the best angle. Suddenly, your helmets collide and all that’s heard is a plasticy “thump”. You both begin laughing as you realize you were so caught up in this special moment together that you forgot you even had helmets on. “Hahaha! Oh my god, we’re so dumb.” Your laugh rings out into the air, making Shiro laugh along with you. Sure, the moment was funny and laughable but Shiro just found your laugh so sweet and infectious. Even in the most serious of moments, if you began to laugh, so would he.

Now, you’re impatiently yanking on his arm, trying to get him back to his lion. “Whoa, what? We just got here.” “Yeah, but I want that kiss.” His smile widens as he rubs the back of his neck with his other hand. “Geez, you’re so eager.” You scoff, pulling on him harder. “Psh! YOU leaned in to kiss me first, sir!” He nearly chokes when you call him ‘sir’ and now he’s totally running with you back into his lion.

You push him into the pilot’s seat and plop down in his lap before yanking your helmet off, watching as he follows along. The kiss was hot and very eager and almost comedic. You’d always thought your first kiss with him would be super romantic and serious and soft but here you are, giggling against his lips as his hands gently tickle your torso. “I love you, (Y/N).” He pulls back from your lips for just a second to see your reaction to his words. You throw yourself against him once more, kissing him harder than before. “I love you more, Takashi.” You mumble against his lips, his breath lingering on your skin. You’ve never felt so safe and warm in your entire life.

HUNK 💛

You and Hunk sort of argued for a bit over where to land. Not like a full blown argument but he’s a worry wart and would never forgive himself if anything happened to you so he’s double checking EVERYTHING. “I guess this seems fine. You can take your helmet off here if you want.” And at his word, you yank your helmet off and toss it behind you before you’re running out of his lion. “Hey, wait up!” He throws his helmet off and chases after you. The planet you landed on was mostly water but it was all very shallow, maybe a foot deep at the most. You splash around and laugh, loving the feeling of the warm water on your legs. “Oh my god, babe! This is sooooo coooool!” You continue to play in the water as Hunk just watches you, a goofy smile plastered across his tan face. “Did…you just call me babe?” You stop abruptly and look back at him. “Noooo….” You reply shyly but before you know it, he’s running towards you, water splashing up with each step he takes.

You squeal with joy as he swoops you up in his arms, twirling you around before he plops down in the water, soaking both of you from head to toe. You playfully flick water at his face, smirking as he returns the gesture. Within seconds, you’re in a full blown wrestling match, trying to see who can dunk the other’s head under water first. “Ah! Hunk! No!” You yell and laugh and try your best to overpower him. He takes you down easy, pushing your face under the water for just a second before you pop back up and rub the water out of your eyes.

“I adore you, (Y/N).” Just as you open your eyes again, you are greeted by his shy blushing face just inches away from yours. “What? Me?” He chuckles and nods. “Yes, absolutely.” He responds whole heartedly before he leans in to gently kiss your wet forehead. You’re both kneeling on your knees now, the water coming up to your waist. You slowly crawl even closer to him, his heart pounding in his chest as he watches you with nervous eyes. You gently cup his face in your hands, giving him an innocently sweet smile as you lean in closer. Once you see his eyes close and his lips pucker, you use all your strength to push him backwards, cheering triumphantly once he’s full submerged under the water.

You jump up to your feet, hooting and hollering as he sits up and huffs. “That was so mean! I thought we were gonna kiss.” You offer him a hand to help him to his feet. He takes it and once he’s standing in front of you, you gently grab him by the shoulders and pull him in for a soft and short peck on the lips. “Happy?” You ask softly, watching as he blinks a few times, completely dazed by this whole interaction. “No. I think I need another one…to make up for you pushing me so hard.” You laugh softly as your lips meet again and this time he’s wrapping his thick arms around you and lifting you up off your feet. “I love you so much, (Y/N). You’re the only thing keeping me brave and sane out here.” He stares up at you with a look of such fondness and comfort.

Your playful smile disappears and is replaced by a mushy gushy expression of love and gratitude. “Aww. You…you really mean it? You really love me?” He sets you back down on your feet and slides his hands down your arms until they fall so perfectly into your own. “With all of my heart. You’re the peanut butter to my jelly.” And now he’s just examining your laughing face, noticing your pink cheeks and shiny teeth and wet hair. “I love you too, Hunk. More than I could ever explain.” Eventually, you found yourselves laying back in the water, side by side, floating on your backs while holding hands. What a perfect day with the perfect person.

[bluebelleisabelle]

Zee headcanons !! Cuz why not? Also, this post will include some spoilers for TDI 2023:

The drummer on the wall of his bedroom is a member of a really obscure band that absolutely no one has heard of except Zee, but he loves their music. Their music fits within the Bongo Flava genre, which is the sort of stuff that Zee likes to listen to. Zee also listens to Pass the Dutchie by Musical Youth. I don’t need to say anything else. That’s his vibe jdjdjd. This band inspired him to learn the drums (bongos), but he hasn’t played in a while due to “not having enough time” (aka, he has no motivation and procrastinates 😭). So now, he holds a speaker on one drum and uses the other as a makeshift bedside table. Something that isn’t addressed within the series is his love for music. This dude, from what we’ve seen in his audition tape, has a couple drums, a record player, and a piano. I would say he’s always enjoyed music. Listening to it, and then playing it.

Zee lives by the sea. His room reminds me of a beach house, and he has a surfboard as the headboard of his bed. During the warmer months, Zee is a fan of riding the giant waves on a surfboard or boogie board. He’ll get absolutely bombarded by the waves, but he always comes out of the water with a smile on his face and excited to go again. In the second episode, when he’s seen confidently swimming back to shore (before the shark assaults him, like damn 😭😭), you can TELL that he has experience swimming. Dude has certainly let a wave take him to shore in the past after surfing.

Zee’s parents are, like, the chillest people on the planet. If you’re friends with Zee and go to his house, you’re automatically friends with his parents. If his personality is influenced by his homelife, his fam is absolutely chill to the max and probably super supportive of Zee and his decision to be on TDI

He’s neurodivergent. That’s it. That’s the headcanon.

Though I can’t be sure what exactly it is, there are boards that look similar to skateboards (without the wheels) mounted on Zee’s wall, so I like the idea that Zee tried his hand at skateboarding. I can’t say if he’s good at it, but he’s certainly tried lol. I also like to envision that those skateboards were made by a friend of his that has a knack for woodworking. So this friend of Zee’s created and painted him a couple of skateboards to mount on his wall.

I literally have no way of explaining this, but Zee probably works for the summer (or generally) at a local arcade. I sense that he either walks or rides his bike to his job, cause I’m pretty sure he doesn’t drive (he just hasn’t gotten around to learning how to lmao).

Even if TDI allowed swearing, Zee is someone that never swears. Not only does he likely not know a lot of swears, lol, but he just generally isn’t someone who enjoys swearing or who feels the need to curse.

In my mind, Zee has many love languages, but there are three that stand out to me as possibilities. One of Zee’s love languages is physical touch. Within the first episode alone, he immediately went to hug Chris, and though he didn’t really hug any other characters in the season, I get the vibe that he would greet you with a hearty hug and slap on the back. But hey, at least he got to hug Chris before he left 😭 (something Zee initiated because there’s no way Chris would actively hug someone lol). Another one of Zee’s love languages is words of affirmation. Numerous times during the season, Zee is seen hyping up another character, reassuring them, or serving as a sort of cheerleader to another character. It’s very sweet. And the final love language I’m thinking of is quality time. Zee is always appreciative of getting to know someone (he literally responds with “cool” when Ripper info dumps to him about flatulence 😭). So I just get the vibe that Zee’s favorite thing is spending time with other people, and getting to know them.

the dude’s stylish room djjdjd

[graylinesspam]

Glad you’re finally updating your ASOI series!! haven’t heard about it in a while

Speaking of… I had a thought the other day about the public’s view on the clones (and I had no one to share it with so I’ll just dump it in your ask box if you don’t mind)

Anyway, civilians in most of the clone centric fics I read are very hostile towards clones for some reason and I find it very implausible.

Just think of it, there are genetically modified soldiers who are badass, wear cool armor and are also extremely hot.

And now imagine if that happened in real life… I really think people would love them and also sympathize with them due to them technically being slaves. And Ahsoka’s interviews would only add fuel to the fire because now they have NAMES and can hear stories of their beloved heroes.

But what’s more important, everyone would be thirsting over them.

And what happens in real life when people unanimously thirst over someone? They make edits. They make edits and write fanfiction and create whole ass blogs dedicated to the object of their thirst.

I bet the boys constantly record holos of them being badasses on the frontlines and a lot of recordings would mysteriously end up leaked, so the editors would have more than enough material

I can imagine Ahsoka sending Rex some holo and it’s an edit of him to the most unholy track you’ve ever heard which has like a billion likes and WILDING comments (something among the lines of “he walks like it’s heavy” with the replies “I can hold it for him”). He honestly doesn’t know how to react to that, like he is mortified (and a bit flattered really).

And some parts of it might actually be cannon given how many girls hang out at 79’s, they definitely know where the good stuff is ;)

And then the fangirls become a big group of clone-sympathizers who go on strikes for for clones’ rights and it somehow leads to the discovery of the chips and somehow palpatine dies and order you-know-what never happens and the war ends and clones get refund for years of service and everyone lives happily ever after. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

No but this 1000% percent. You nailed it in one. Theres already a lot of bad feelings toward the jedi that Palpatine has been sowing the seeds for a long time. So I'd be hesitant to say that the citizens are immidietly chill with the clones. That's just not how the propaganda machine works. Especially since pretty much the only reactions the citizens have to the clones in cannon are negative. HOWEVER, firstly the anti-clone protests are primarily on Coruscant where the clones are not doing anything positive, they're acting as an unwelcome military police (which is literally always bad) or they're being drunk and disorderly in public (which is objectively funny).

But as for the rest of the galaxy? especially the planets where the clones are actively doing some good? GIRL. The republic is trying to portray the clones as a professional unified military force, but Ahsoka totally undermines all of that by bringing clone business to public attention. And as internet culture always does the citizens have a fucking field day with every scrap of information she gives up.

Like babes you have no idea how much of this AU is fueled by me joke watching clone thirst traps and thinking "I bet this would actually happen in SW" It starts with the public hounding her for details about Anakin cuz he's like a heart throb and she's all like "can we talk about anything other than how bad you all want to fuck him?" and she insists on talking about the clones instead, so all these thirsty ass hos who've hopped on the stream to hear some juicy Anakin content get introduced to a ROSTER of clones instead and some are like "y'know they are kinda cute" and then theres simps and people asking all kinds of questions about them and Ahsoka's doing shitty personality breakdowns.

I just don't know how to write that content in a way that's like Interesting. like just get on tiktok yourself i guess.

But like also Ahsoka reading the guys to filth too. Like she starts hyping them up then realizes that she's just fueling the simps so she just starts being painfully honest with the fangirls about their favorite clones.

like "wolffe girlies, I hate to tell you this, He does not give a fuck about you. He is not the grumpy to your sunshine. the man is a surely old bastard. He's like 6 I think? doesn't matter he was born a pissed off old man. He doesn't like you. He'll never like you. He likes exactly five people in the entire galaxy and I'm not even on that list anymore. And you don't even want to know what I had to do to get on it. Please realize that you are not special and he's not secretly soft and protective on the inside. He will hurt you're feelings."

And when I say that she is ALWAYS ragging on Fives. Every time she compliments him she has to pause and say "This is just gonna go to his head." And she takes every chance possible to humble him. "He might be one of my favorite brothers and one of the best men I've ever known but he's a fucking disaster. If it wasn't for my entire force ability and the best luck streak I've ever seen he'd be dead." She knows he thinks he's a hot shot ladie's man and she will NOT support his ego.

With Rex though? GIRL! Ahsoka shows such obvious favoritism for Rex. She shares the most information about him and his fandom absolutely pops off. He is that clone. footage of him and his easy-to-identify blonde hair absolutely flood the fan sites. THE EDITS??? THE COMMENT SECTIONS????? But Ahsoka's like nah that's MY Captain. (I don't ship them at all but I do think of Ahsoka as a very possessive person and Rex is literally her platonic soul mate) Like she's split between saying "Of course Rex has the biggest fanbase he's the single best man in the galaxy. literally, the only man who hasn't disappointed me. he's perfect of course they like him." but then also, "None of you are good enough for him. You should be honored if he shows interest in you on account of him being perfection incarnate"

The clone fandom in my Au mimics the actual one quite a lot including the small personality traits of the clones being way over exaggerated and then universally accepted. Like Kix gaining popularity bc Ahsoka still responds to all questions about her health and wellbeing with quips like "Of course I took my meds, wouldn't want an angry medic on me" and "Yes i disinfected the wound. If I didn't Kix might have a stroke" or one time she shook a vitimin bottle and said "See Kix, I'm responsible, I'm taking them."

I could seriously go on forever like this, I've practically written an essay already. But yeah. You get it.

[vivianbernadetteaurora]

My conspiracy for this information goes back long long time ago, and I believe it all started on the red carpet at the moment when would really look up to Aaliyah, Aaliyah and Beyoncé were polar opposites. If you wanna think about appearances, Beyoncé was voluptuous and blonde and curvy and light skin, Aaliyah with slender, darker skin and beautiful face., they both carried that superstar essence, I have literally just uploaded a video to one of my TikTok accounts about how I believe Jay-a( jay-Z if you really cared about Allah and wanted to be with her, why would you do a whole tour with R. Kelly? That’s some libra moon shit right there. No loyalties but then woman out with you that tell you that you’re the world. I’m sorry that’s just how I feel. I know many of them .

 Aaliyah wasn’t going to take that kind of crap off a man. This woman was a Capricorn, son and Aquarius rising. I won’t even say that she’s a Virgo moon fuck check this before I finish it anyway Beyoncé and Jay-Z go to film the music video drunk in Love in 2013 on the same beach, where Aaliyah filmed her last video rock the boat which she didn’t come back from. She had a pain crash. Apparently she was given a sleeping tablet and wasn’t able to be carried that load it wasn’t strong enough.

 Anyway to go back Aaliyah‘s moon sign is in Virgo. This is the important part, horizon sign is an Aquarius, so when you look at the rising sign which is the first house you want to look for the ruling planet of that sign and then that sign planet becomes your ruling planet in your birth chart so hers would be Uranus in modern, and Saturn in traditional has Saturn was in Virgo and how Uranus was in Scorpio, I’m still learning numerology guys so once I get back to you with that I’ll have so much more information but if we want to go into Beyoncé and Jay-Z top I’m happy to.

Both these women had femme fatale qualities don’t get me wrong. They’re both air sign women, and Aaliyah had a lot of earth in her chart a lot a lot and she had that beautiful subtle quality about her. I’m in Beyoncé. She won’t do interviews anymore which I get Beyoncé is not so good with her words wasn’t it Wendy Williams he wants said she talks like a fourth grade or whatever. Yeah, TV wasn’t really full Beyoncé anymore, and now she’s gone into this element of rich with Jay-Z where they team up together and become this power duo and believe me in Hollywood. A lot of these power duos are just like connected for work, and work alone.

So outside they could be having other activity, so when the lounge got caught in the elevator doing that Jay-Z, maybe that’s why Beyoncé stayed so quiet and stood back because because she knew that he humiliation in the background as it was gonna come, and even Matthew knows, use it as another PR stunt don’t be full boy like the whole PR thing because I have only recently and like the last year also that these couples aren’t really couples a lot of the time. A lot of them can’t come out is gay#LoveYourself,SoTheyHaveToGetBeardsABeardIsSomebodyWhoGetsWithUsOppositesex partner and they stay with them to make them present straight, but really like on the side of these people are living a gay existence. A good example from old Hollywood would be Rock Hudson Rock Hudson. Obviously not Israel name, that’s another thing they change your name Hudson in fact got married to his agents, mother or sister or something like that, but it was a happy marriage because they know what they expected. I actually think gay marriage would be like really cool because you’d get treated really well over a star Phil, and yeah I don’t think it’s good for the person who has to hide the sexuality that is wrong. I’m not saying Jay is gay and I’m not saying Beyoncé‘s lesbian although there are rumours about Beyoncé, this is all I’m gonna talk on it for now but just look at it. Look at the trophy on the beach. I’m drunk in love and listen to rock the boat backwards and look up what Beyoncé‘s name means, then look up what Allah’s name means. Much love. Stay safe, XOXO

Mayo also add that Virgo rising Jay-Z, Virgo, son, Beyoncé, Virgo, moon, Aaliyah, Scorpio, Venus,jay z  Scorpio, moon, Beyoncé, Scorpio, Uranus, Aaliyah. libra, rising, Beyoncé Libra, Venus Beyoncé, libra, Pluto, Aaliyah and Beyoncé, and Libra moon, Jay-Z. If you know in the astrological community, you will see how this is a bit fucked up.

[thelastspeecher]

Dropping a random ficlet that takes place in the Accidental Abduction AU and is Pride-adjacent for the last day of Pride. Hope you guys like it!

(As a reminder, I recently decided that Stan assigns the alien family the last name of "Roswell", so that's why he refers to them that way in this ficlet.)

———————————————————————————————————–

              “It’s ceremonial,” Angie scolded Stan.  “You’re supposed to mostly fake it, or at least go easy!”  Stan scowled.

              “How the hell was I supposed to know that?” he demanded.  “Do you really think we do stuff like that on Earth?”  He paused.  “Okay, maybe we sorta do, but it’s not exactly the same.”  Angie sighed and sat down next to him.  They were in the kitchen on the Roswells’ ship, heading back home from following the migration of the strange, sheep-like creatures they tended to called parthok.  Lute looked morosely at Stan from the other side of the kitchen table.

              “None of our siblings got beat up for following the tradition,” he mumbled.  Underneath the cooling pack Lute held to his face, hints of the black eye Stan had given him peeked out.  Thanks to Lute’s blue skin, the bruising was dark navy and literally black, colors Stan had never seen on a human.

              “I’m guessing the people your siblings tried to feed a knuckle sandwich knew that the fight wasn’t real,” Stan retorted.  He had been minding his business, looking for a quick snack, when Lute came up to him and out of nowhere threw a punch in Stan’s direction.  Stan reacted with a punch of his own.  Luckily, only after a few blows, Angie showed up and separated the two of them, shouting that the fight wasn’t supposed to be real.  Stan gently prodded his split, fat lip.  “Explain this tradition to me again.”

              “It’s very straightforward,” Angie said.  “In our culture, when someone begins dating someone else, the two new lovebirds’ twins must fight their sibling’s new significant other, to prove that the person is strong enough to protect their twin.  So, when you and I started dating, Lute had to fight you to prove that you were strong enough to protect me.”

              “But we started dating weeks ago,” Stan said.  He looked at Lute.  “Why did you wait to do this ceremonial fight or whatever until today?”

              “I wanted to wait until after we found out you weren’t tethered to your home planet,” Lute explained.  “If you were, we’d have to leave you on Earth and you’d have to break up with Angie, so the fight would be unnecessary.”

              “Or Angie could move to Earth,” Stan argued.  He waved a hand.  “Don’t you have a brother on Earth doing human research or whatever anyways?”

              “Mom and dad wouldn’t let me move to a different planet until I graduated school,” Angie said.  She rolled her eyes.  “And they’d probably want me to enroll at the same college as our brother.  Which, going off what he said about the school, sounds like a pretty cruddy place.”

              “Ugh.  College,” Stan muttered.  He frowned as something occurred to him.  “Hang on.”  The twins looked at him curiously.  “You said that the twin for both people in the relationship have to do the fight.”  Angie and Lute nodded.  “But my twin’s on Earth.  Angie can’t fight him.”  By now, Stan had told the Roswell parents as well as Angie and Lute about his family back on Earth, including Ford.  Angie cocked her head.

              “You’re right,” she said.  “I should’ve done that while we were on Earth checking to see if you were tethered.”

              It’s definitely a horrible idea, but I’d still pay money to see Angie kick Ford’s ass to next Tuesday.

              “It’s okay,” Lute said.  “This happens on occasion.  People from other species, who don’t have twins, marry into our people.  In those cases, a stand-in takes the role of twin.  For example, one of our mom’s friends fought our dad when they started dating.”

              So I might still get to see Angie beat someone up.  All right, now I’m getting invested.

              “Do I ask someone or…?” Stan asked.

              “Someone you are close to will volunteer for it,” Angie said cheerfully.

              “The only people I’ve interacted with on your planet are your parents and siblings,” Stan said flatly.  Angie and Lute winced.

              “Good point,” Lute said.

              “You’ll just have to wait for the fight until you make a good friend at school, then,” Angie said.  Stan was tentatively enrolled in the local “youth educational facility” for the start of the next school year.  Whether he could actually attend was dependent upon how well he could read, write, and understand the verbal form of the Roswells’ native language, the name of which human vocal cords couldn’t pronounce.  “I can’t wait, by the way.”

              “For school or the fight?”

              “The fight!  Lute hasn’t dated anyone yet, so this will be my first.”

              “You haven’t dated anyone?” Stan asked Lute.  Lute shook his head.  “A perpetual bachelor, eh?”

              “No, not that,” Lute said.

              “Haven’t found the right gal?”

              “No.  I haven’t found the right guy,” Lute said matter-of-factly.  Abruptly, Stan’s heartbeat began to pound furiously in his ears.

              “You- you-” Stan stammered.  He cleared his throat and wiped his suddenly sweaty palms on his clothes.  “You, um.  Lute, you’re- you’re into…guys?” he squeaked weakly.  Angie and Lute looked at him oddly.  Stan couldn’t blame them.

              I haven’t had this poor of a reaction in front of them this entire time, and how much alien shit have I been exposed to since I was abducted?

              “Yes,” Lute said.  He leaned in, visibly concerned.  “Are you all right?”

              “Yeah, I just, um-”

              I’m only trying to get over everything my Pops said my entire life about guys that are into guys, that’s all.  No big deal.

              “Mom mentioned that Grandma had a strange reaction to meeting a same-gender couple when she first came to the planet,” Angie said softly.  “Is that what this is about, Stan?”

              “…Yeah,” Stan mumbled.  “At least where I’m from, people don’t like when guys date guys or gals date gals.”  Lute immediately leaned backwards, hurt on his face.  He set down the cooling pack, fully revealing his black eye.

              “You- you don’t have an issue with me being attracted to men, do you?” he asked nervously.

              “No!” Stan blurted out.  “No, not at all!  It’s none of my damn business.”  Lute nodded, seeming to be somewhat mollified.

              And it’d be a real dick move for me to be upset about it, with how big of a crush I had on Carla’s brother.

              “I imagine that, with the culture you grew up in, hearing Lute casually mention he wants a boyfriend was a shock to you,” Angie said diplomatically.  “Even if you don’t personally hold those views.”

              “Yeah.”  Stan managed a smile at Lute.  “Seriously, Lute, I’m fine with it.”

              “Good,” Lute said.  Stan’s smile strengthened.

              “It feels like every day, I learn something new that makes me realize staying with you guys was the right choice,” he said.  Angie and Lute smiled, but Stan felt a slight shiver down his spine.  “It’s better to be on a planet that’s accepting,” he backtracked quickly.  Angie patted his hand, not noticing Stan’s hurried attempt to distance himself from any indication he might be interested in a “same-gender relationship”.

              Sure, they’re fine with it.  But I’ve gotta do some introspection bullshit about it before I can say anything to these guys.  Which means I might never tell them.  Eh.  Whatever.  Sally, Angie and Lute’s mom, walked into the kitchen.  She looked at Lute and Stan, visibly beat up from their fight.  She sighed.

              “I won’t even ask.”

[spinningbuster98]

Sonic the Hedgehog CD Ending: All action. No words

Stardust Speedway is one of those levels that you think you’d love, what with it clearly being Starlight Zone on steroids, but it just doesn’t fully stick the landing because, you guessed it, the level design is just all over the place. As a general rule of thumb: unless you’re going for the generator then stick to the lowest route since it’s the quickest and simplest. This is quite literally doing the opposite of what Sonic level design usually does but hey, that’s just how Sonic CD rolls I guess

I’ve never been a massive Metal Sonic fan per se. He’s either a non-character, basically just another tool of Eggman’s that only stands out by virtue of his concept, or whatever Heroes attempted to do with him. His design however is something that I absolutely adore. He looks straight up deadly, what with those dark eyes and spickier, sharper design that generally lacks most of Sonic’s own roundness and softness, presenting Metal as something truly dangerous and unfriendly. It’s also a pretty edgy design, perhaps the series’ first truly edgy character, a full 8 years before Shadow, yet he still follows the Classic characters’ overall design aesthetics what with his body proportions. He simultaneously looks in-line with Sonic’s world yet also unnatural to it. His boss fight is also pretty memorable and also perhaps the hardest in the game (though that’s not saying much here), which, alongside him being the one who kidnaps Amy at the starts and whose holograms you can find harassing small animals in the levels, helps to solidify him as an actual rival to Sonic. In fact, despite my thoughts on the character himself, I actually think that he makes for a better potential rival than the likes of Shadow and especially Knuckles, as his status as an Eggman robot built specifically to kill Sonic makes it easy and natural to set up situations where the two would fight without it feeling forced or stupid (just think about how, in Generations, he’s the only rival character whose fight justification doesn’t feel arbitrary, unlike Shadow “I know we’re all in a world without time but instead of trying to get to the bottom of things I’ll try to kill you now just ‘cause” the Hedgehog or Silver “but how can I know you’re the real Sonic? I know! I’ll drop a bunch of junk on your head!” the Hedgehog)

Metallic Madness is the worst stage in the game. Act 1 is fine, but Act 2 features pretty much every single issue in the game but cranked up to 11 because it’s the final level. It’s a giant goddamn mess and no amount of chibi Sonic can make me overlook this. Don’t go to the Past, I swear to God it’s even worse than the other timeframes, I always get lost in the god forsaken place. Man did Mania give this place a much needed makeover!

Fun fact: the original Sega CD version of the ending cutscene actually features sound effects at the start before playing Cosmic Eternity! I’m guessing that the later versions don’t do this because they play at higher framerates so the sound effects would be out of synch

I actually think I like the ending more than the opening: CD doesn’t have the classic all-stage medley during the credits but we actually get to see brief animated recreations of previous stages, and this is where I think that Sonic’s personality really shines, showcasing all the cute, cool and creative ways that he disposes of Badniks. I also like how, in the good ending, more specifically in the later versions, Little Planet disappears but not before emitting a bunch of sparkles that form an image of Sonic, kind of implying that it’s somewhat sentient and it’s thanking Sonic. It’s a nice way to sort of personify a literal world and make your efforts to save it from Eggman’s influence feel all the more worthwhile. Again: Sonic CD is able to give character and personality not through words but through actions

[winwintea]

okay it’s getting quite… silly and goofy fun times… like what are you plotting…

CAUSE I KNOW EVERY TIME ITS BEEN AWW… THEY’RE HAVING FUN IT’S SO CUTE. AND THEN BAM 180 turn: y/n gets run over! yuqi and dejun beef almost breaks the friend group! y/n gets stalked!

not that i hate it though… i live for the drama

i get the ricky, yanan, yizhuo sus arguments tbh. ricky just seems like he’s awkward with everyone there, and when he always offers money to the group and gets rejected 🥹🥹 i’m personally biased bc i love ricky though…

i think it’s cool how you’re paralleling the similarities between ricky and chenle though, both like basketball, both from shanghai, both loaded. getting some 2nd lead syndrome here too 😭😭

yanan being suspicious is kinda off to me too bc i feel like you wouldn’t take it out on y/n, more so on chenle. although he does seem to dislike y/n based on what she’s been saying so there’s that 😭😭 idk cause yanan and chenle’s relationship doesn’t seem that strained and they both still live together lol and interact. even though chenle spilled/leaked??? (i think) the fact that yanan was gay, he doesn’t seem to be too upset by it. also chenle’s parents lowkey shitty so getting disowned doesn’t seem too bad.

yizhuo on the other hand… there’s not much motives from her other than being chenle’s ex. not saying it’s her actually, there’s probably some motives that you haven’t revealed yet so i’m merely making guesses on what has been revealed so far.

have a fun time in china!!!

-🍉

FUNNY YOU SAY THAT 🍉 ANON (tmrs chapter will be short. be prepared 🫡)

when i first watched boys planet i immediately was like “bro tHATS LITERALLY CHENLE” ricky became one of my favs too and although my biases are matthew and taerae in zb1, ricky’s always been my bias wrecker lmfaooo 💀💀

he would be my bias except for the fact that one of my irls WHO MIND YOU DOES NOT PAY ATTENTION TO IDOLS and only listens to music (we love her for that) only likes ricky and ten and i think that’s so funny, so i let her have him 🫡

yanan and chenle get along yes, at least in chenle’s eyes. if there is any discourse between the two, chenle wouldn’t know 🤷‍♀️ AND YES chenle did accidentally reveal to his family that yanan was gay, how it happened will be explained eventually, but chenle still feels really really guilty about what happened.

aha, i won’t say wether or not the motive has been clear or elaborated on yet, but i love reading all of y’all’s thoughts 🤭🤭 and they’re all pretty good reasons too !!

[lv-iceprince]

🐯🐾...overall ship...🐯🐾

@quruxbadan

okay here's the tea, i was so excited to do this ship for you! i just love doing your requests, you're such an angel and it such an honour to ship you with the coolest idols ever.

i'm just biased with this ship, so sorry if you don't agree with me but this is where it's at.

know that i'm always here for your requests and just to talk and yeah! love you heaps mate xo

~seventeen~ hoshi 🐯🐾

This was the quickest choice I have ever made for a ship,  there is something about you that is so precious, your cloud photos, your face, your personality IT IS ALL SO PRECIOUS WTF????!!!! So, I had to do Hoshi a favour and ship you with him.

I think you would be doing him a favour by dating him, okay that sounds harsh, but  I mean it was all the love and respect I have for him. Hoshi is such a genuine, quirky, adorable, sexy  guy and he really does need someone who would make his days infinitely better and that is you.

At first Hoshi would just think you were a nice person, that you just wanted to have a mutual friendship and in some ways you did. However, you could not get over him, he lived in your mind rent free 24/7, he was your go to when you were sad, when you were excited or when you wanted to relax. He was your person.

Even though Hoshi is somewhat unaware of your feelings it took him .5 seconds to say yes to going on a date with you, he has a literal skip in his step and a sparkle in his heart whenever he is around you so he always knew he would date you one day, if you liked him that is.

I will try not to swoon over your appearance, but you are literally the cutest human being on this planet, I think I’ve said this before but you’re the only person I’ve seen who has Nayeon visuals, I still stand by this statement! I just can’t get over the resemblance, you literally have the same sweet smile and the most adorable look in your eyes.

There is also this sense of elegance that I honestly can’t get over, you just seem like such a good person. Besides that, imagining you in the same room as Hoshi is an overload, you are just so complimentary to each other and it’s actually insane.

Even though it’s so tempting to force the two of you together based on the overall, cuteness factor I have to say, Hoshi has something more striking in his visuals. It’s almost iconic, someone so sweet has such powerful visuals, he is the tiger.

For this reason, it’s just so complimentary, the contrast I mean. Visually speaking you’re quite distinct from one another but again that’s what makes this such a beautiful pairing. I know I’m gushing but you’re literally his best visual match.

Now onto my  favourite part (especially because it’s you we’re talking about), personality. I hinted at it earlier, but you are literally such an angel and I want to discuss this more. Since you have such a rich personality the only way, I can describe it like you are this beautiful cottage core fairy who enlightens everybody around you.

This is also the main reason as to why Hoshi loves you so much, you bring optimism, and you remind him of the sweeter more simpler aspects of life.

Though he tends to be very active and hyper most of the time, he would love nothing more than relaxing and indulging in your parfums, accessory making or any other artistic endeavours, he may act like he is clueless as hell but watch him make you the most beautiful things in the whole entire universe.

He also loves wearing anything you make.  Your quiet nature is something that also brings him in, he just feels so proud that he is cool enough to have someone who is equally as cool, just for him to love and to hold.  

[asexy-phoenix]

More Fic Recs

Back at it again! I’ll keep posting these until I’ve recommended everything in my bookmarks plus more probably. List under the cut!

getting (back together) over her by Letterblade

so this one is rated explicit, read at your own risk. That being said, it’s excellent, a great Aang exploration and a pretty realistic look at how being 12 for a hundred years would make one feel

plus I have at least one quote from this story living rent-free at all times in my head, please read it, i can’t be the only one

The Family You Choose by TunaFishChris

another soulmark AU fic! This one is a platonic story about the Gaang finding out about Zuko’s past. It’s a cool soulmark system that I don’t think I’ve ever read before and is very awesome in execution!

Team Building Exercise ‘99 by regents

a story about the Parks and Rec crew and three different team building exercises over three different years as told through the eyes of Ron Swanson. It is an excellent characterization of Ron Swanson and you should read it for the comedy factor alone

A Study in Asexuality by ladyxdarcy

rated mature for a lot of potentially triggering subject matter, this Sherlock fic is excellent. It’s a character study of Sherlock and specifically his asexuality, his relationship with John and how those two things interact. It has enough assurance and comfort to make up for every bit of hurt in the hurt/comfort and ends SO happily

Stay by Valentined

never played Subnautica? doesn’t matter! This is such a good, sad, story that leaves you with a lump in your throat and a ridiculous feeling of nostalgia for an alien planet you’ve never been to. 

I should note though, there are huge spoiler warnings. This fic basically ruins the end of the game, so if you DO want to play Subnautica and haven’t yet, go play it and then come read this

And All of This, Exactly That by antistar_e

an old fic from the Percy Jackson and the Olympians franchise, released the year after the last book in the original series was published. This story is about a relationship between Percy, Annabeth, and Rachel and is atmospheric and beautiful. It’s also funny and has a dragon in it, so that makes it automatically great

This Is an Essay by Dee_Laundry

I wish Harry Potter was narrated by Margaret instead of Harry. This is a fic absolutely dripping with personality and humour that is about a Gryffindor student in Harry’s third year who is neat, methodical, and autistic. “Margaret would rather write the same thing a hundred times.” and I would let her. 

Dr. Stirling’s Purple Pill by Ashling

this is a short, funny story about one of L.M. Montgomery’s sadly underrated works. The characters are brilliant and their voices are captured perfectly.

between the shadow and the soul by deliarium

this fic feels like a missing chapter from The Blue Castle. The haunting prose of the original is reproduced beautifully here and it’s some of the most gorgeous, intimate prose I’ve ever read.

Jack Frost and the Shadows of Van der Bor by emanime5

an RotBTD Harry Potter AU. Full of friendship, magic, and adventure it’s continuing proof that literally anyone except Rowling should be hired to write her works. 

Like A Fist In The Eye by soulsolid

a funny and in-character soulmate AU that pairs Jack Frost and Merida. It’s also a college AU so that just adds the cute and fast-paced atmosphere.

Eternity in a Kiss by Snacky

a fun and evocative story of Mary and Bert’s relationship as told through Bert’s eyes. It involves Bert being magic (because of course he is) and a bunch of fun, stealth crossovers!

seriously though, if you want to guess the crossovers on your own, don’t read the comments until after you’re done the fic

[greetings-inferiors]

It isn’t Az having a pet that through Chinese whispers becomes a Pokémon, both AZ and the Pokémon are still alive. It is literally a human and his Pokémon. Unless the power of stories is able to turn a gerbil or something into a fairy flower, I think the story is pretty literal. Bear in mind the legend is very particular about the type of flabébé, it isn’t just any old Pokémon. It is a specific unique type of flabébé that still lives to this day, and if you got meowth to ask it, I’m sure it’ll tell you what happened

Also I think you’re missing my point about hisui: human tribes exist there, and have learnt how to coexist with Pokémon: leaving the dangerous ones alone. They have domesticated Pokémon, it’s just a lot harder since they have to do it naturally instead of having a device that makes the Pokémon magically listen to you. The main camp is only in danger because they’re settlers having been living there for hardly any time at all, and so don’t know how to live with Pokémon and accidentally encroaching on wild Pokémon’s territory. It just so happens that their previous attempt at a village went down horribly, so they’re too scared of pokemon to try and domesticate them, even the weak ones.

The reason why arceus time travels you is twofold: teach the settlers how to live with Pokémon, and stop Volo from fucking ending the world. Volo literally took a deal with the devil and is labelled ‘pokemon wielder’. He’s probably the most powerful person on the planet at the moment, so the only person who can stop him is someone who’s already familiar with Pokémon and how to live with and battle with them. Honestly I think the ‘help the settlers’ is just a nice byproduct of trying to stop Volo, arceus probably doesn’t care about them, as much as he does the world not fucking ending.

I agree that hisui may have been the last place to be colonised by greater humanity - just the same as the real life Hokkaido, which had native tribes/people living there, but largely remained untouched by the rest of humanity until very recently, just like in legends arceus.

Add to that the in game history books which imply that humans originally were Pokémon, and I really just think humanity evolved from Pokémon and diverged into a separate species (the scientific type of species where they can’t mate anymore). Hisuian Pokémon are just territorial and aren’t a fan of the expansion of the colonisers (as they’re right to be), and we have actual eyewitness accounts of people and Pokémon existing 3000 years ago (as AZ and his flabébé, once again, literally still exist)

I do think it’s a cool idea that some of humanity comes from another dimension, but to imply that ALL of humanity isn’t native to the Pokémon universe is a bit of a leap.

Humans are in the Ditto Egg Group send post

[thesideboys]

DATING HARRY LEWIS

where do i even start with this boy

if you guys lived together, he’d always ask if you could get random stuff

“babe, can we buy a pool table?”

“we’d have no where to put it. haz”

“what about an ice skating rink. like a proper small one?”

“where would you even buy one of those?”

“i don’t know… ikea?”

always getting him spare controllers for his birthday or christmas

not to mention just keeping one in your amazon cart given how prone he is to breaking them

CLINGY.

whenever he visits his family in guernsey, expect to have a harold attached to you for at least a week when he comes back

having to remind him to take breaks from editing videos

even when he’s in his not posting phases (coming up to two years on his main channel btw) he still has that one week every month or so where he edits for the main sidemen channel

one thing about harry is that he puts way too much pressure on himself when he has a certain task to do

that being said, you can only imagine how stressed he makes himself when he needs to edit within a certain amount of time

and, when he seriously can’t take a break, you would just keep him company or bring him anything he needed (even when he doesn’t ask, but harry has a problem with remembering to stay hydrated so you do that part for him)

the most supportive boyfriend on the planet

seriously.

you’re in university? he’ll help you in your studies any way he can. you’re thinking of taking up a hobby? if it doesn’t include interacting with people, he’ll do it with you. you’re pursuing your dream job? that’s cool as fuck and he’s proud of you

in short: harry would try help you in any way, shape or form throughout whatever you want to do

you’d definitely be close with the rest of the sidemen-but tobi and ethan would have to be your bestest friends out of all of them

ethan being since he’s one of the closest with harry, so he would want to get to know the person who “tamed bog”

tobi being because, well, it’s tobi. probably one of the sweetest people you’d ever met

in terms of the other partners of the sidemen-you’re pretty friendly with them too

talia has to be your all time favourite, though

do i even need reasoning?

from the moment you met her, she was so mf kind to you. literally instantly you guys became friends

but back to harold

you both wouldn’t get in much fights

something that did surprise you slightly about harry was the way he dealt with disagreements - letting you both contribute your factors individually and speaking like actual adults

this was surprising because harry never acted like an adult

well, not never. there were obviously times he took situations into consideration and he was somewhat mature in conversations off-camera

speaking of camera, harry would never force you to be in a video with him

that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t ask you if you wanted to be in one pretty early on

because he definitely did

and it was most likely a penalty or crossbar challenge

impulsive buys during lockdown

“haz, why is there a huge frog statue in our kitchen?”

“…”

the both of you seemed to even out each other in multiple ways

one being your insecurities

harry hated his habit of scratching his shoulder whenever he was nervous or awkward

but you found it cute

it was actually one of the things you first commented on when you met him (positively)

and he eases any of your self-doubts to the same degree

naps together are a must

literally anywhere

once you even fell asleep at a club and jj filmed you resting on harry’s shoulder to show you the next day and to use for ‘blackmail’

you definitely don’t send minishaw edits on the groupchat whenever you find them

and you definitely don’t plan making a wroetostar ship account with freezy

pfft. that would be stupid.

…

BINGE WATCHING SHOWS ON NETFLIX

EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

you both get bored of those really long netflix originals pretty quickly, so you stick with the ones recommended to you or shows you’ve already watched

cuddles 24/7

helping decorate his flat when he moved

going to festivals with him

you, the cals, and ethan having a groupchat where you send mugs of harry

he gets bored pretty quickly so be ready for his sudden and unreflective ideas

“wanna go water gliding?”

“harry, last time you did that you were hungover and said you were ‘never doing that shit again’. also, it’s fucking four in the morning.”

stealing his hoodies

playing nostalgic games with him

stopping him from playing gta when he doesn’t have to, to prevent yet another breakage

him getting you to play fifa with him

all-nighters

him always hugging you in some way

pressed against you while he’s editing, outright cuddling you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders or waist, resting his head on your lap (and vice versa), etc

cuddly and soft drunk

would cuddle you into an oblivion

adores when you run your fingers through his hair, and loves doing it to you

shipping ksimon together

preventing him going on a mad one at some dumb game

unless it’s minecraft

minecraft is valid to rage at

while we’re on the topic of minecraft,

YOU WOULD 1000000% HAVE A WORLD TOGETHER

teaching him to light up the place when he mines so he doesn’t get blown up and then blows up himself in real life

if you were a streamer or youtuber, you would both have a whole series on this

and it’s still ongoing

wroetocraft is forever

blasting his disstracks when he enters a room

he either leaves the room jokingly or just stands there giving you a look

play fights

watching his old videos together

him getting embarrassed

absolutely destroying each other in call of duty

playing football together

annoying the fuck out of each other

i could seriously go on forever but i’ll end here - please keep in mind this is unedited

[positivexcellence]

Jensen Ackles Talks Directing Jared Padalecki on Walker and the Episode's Many Supernatural Nods (Kansas!)

“It was very nice to be back with someone who I’ve got such an incredible shorthand with, which we’ll always have,” Ackles tells TVLine. “You don’t lose something like that. Spending 15 years building that up, that’s never going to go away. So that was fun. And being able to direct him in such a quick way… I think some of the other cast were kind of like, ‘Wait, what was that note? Did you just reference a movie and you’re now changing your tone?’ So those kind of things were a lot of fun for he and I to play with.”

TVLINE | What was it like working with Jared again, but for the first time on something where you aren’t in the world of Supernatural and he’s not playing Sam Winchester? I feel like if I ever get on screen with Jared, we will instantly fall into those shoes. So it was a good thing that I wasn’t actually sharing the screen with him, allowing him his space to be this new character, which was a lot of fun to watch. Because not only do I know him as Sam, but I also know Jared very, very well, and I’ve probably had to stare at his face more than most people on this planet, and I’ve seen all the idiosyncrasies, the facial expressions and the reactions and everything that he does. So none of that was very new for me. It was just kind of a variation on a theme…

And we had some fun on set, probably more than I think the rest of the cast was used to having. And this is one thing that Jared and I kind of laughed about. I was like, “Man, it’s amazing that all the jokes that we repeated for 15 years are now landing on fresh ears. We have a whole new audience! This is amazing!” [Laughs]

TVLINE | When the show first premiered, it took me a minute to wrap my head around the fact that Jared was now playing a dad to two high schoolers. So I was curious if there was anything that surprised you or something new that you learned about Jared, seeing him as this new character, seeing him in this new capacity in a new show? I mean, that’s the thing, I spent a lot of time with Sam Winchester, but I spent more time with Jared Padalecki. I know him as a father, I know him as a brother and as a son and a dear friend. So I’ve seen him play these roles in real life. So to see him just kind of translate that to on-screen stuff, it was no stretch for me. It was just another facet of the person that he is, and he’s really good at it. So seeing him bring that to the on-screen character just seemed very natural in my eyes.

TVLINE | I feel like there must be a story about filming the blindfolded obstacle course scene with Jared. I mean, look, I could have really like brought out the big guns for that, but I do know the guy and I do love the guy, and I was like, “I don’t know that this is the kind of torture I want to put him through.” [Laughs] Honestly, I’d do a whole episode about just him trying to make it through an obstacle course. I’d watch that. But it was a hot day, Jared sweats like crazy, and it would have made for a miserable shoot. So I actually tried to make it as doable as possible and took it easy on him. I got him in other ways. I had a life-size bear come to life and attack him in one of the scenes.

TVLINE | How did the Kansas performance come to be a part of the episode? Was that a make-good from them not being able to be in the Supernatural series finale?

Yeah, the planets kind of aligned as they kind of fell apart at the end of Supernatural. But they kind of aligned for it to happen, and everybody kind of looked at each other like, “Wait, can we actually do this? Can we make this happen?” They asked if it was something that I’d be cool with, and I was like, “Absolutely! Let’s 100 percent do that! What we tried to do two years ago, let’s absolutely try and do that now.” Kansas was totally game and just totally great and awesome about it. The crew was super excited to be all of a sudden shooting a rock concert. I think I’ve got some behind the scenes footage of me literally dancing and singing at the top of my lungs behind the director’s monitors during one of the takes, so I’ll have to post that whenever the episode comes out.

TVLINE | Were there any other nods to the show that you included in the episode that maybe I missed or that were more subtle? Some very subtle ones. I don’t know if you noticed, but I kind of opened up on a plate of bacon being slapped down. Very Dean Winchester. There’s also a very familiar green cooler that gets brought into a scene, and that was the actual cooler that Sam and Dean sat on and drank out of and sat in the back of the Impala for 15 years. I had to massage the dialogue a little bit. I think Mitch [Pileggi] looked at it and he was like, “What kind of heathens would…?” I don’t think that was in the script.

There was a few others. I have to go back and remind myself, but there was definitely some verbiage, too, that was thrown in. [For one scene], we needed a shadowy figure of some sort, and I said, “Hey, this is the perfect opportunity to slide myself into the episode.” [Laughs]

TVLINE | I know you’ve been very busy with The Boys and The Winchesters, but has there been any discussion about doing an on-screen role on Walker? And if so, what type of character would you like to play? There has been some talk about it, but the possibility has been earmarked, we’ll say, until things kind of slow down with my schedule — if they do. I’m kind of over committed as it is right now. So we kind of just said, “Well, down the road, we’ll keep an eye out.” And if I was to ever do it, I don’t know if it makes sense to do something completely opposite of what he and I did for 15 years together, or if it makes sense to lean into that a little bit, have some familiarity there. I don’t know. We’ll see if we get to cross that path. I wouldn’t be surprised, also, if somebody comes knocking and says, “Hey, they want to do a Supernatural short-order reboot or movie or something,” and then that’s the next time you see Jared and I together.

TV Line

[phoenixyfriend]

Okay so you know how one of my big things with fandom is forcing characters into completely new contexts that they just have to Deal With (recently most commonly with time travel, crossovers, and things like the suddenly omegaverse AU).

So, canon characters get Yanked and somehow tossed into a Modern AU context, possibly just as some Matrix-esque 'your brain is trapped in a simulation' thing, possibly as a Sith Holocron thing, possibly as a weird crossover, it doesn't matter. The point is mostly this:

1. Nobody has the Force. 2. Ahsoka is suddenly human, and she hates it.

This is mostly an excuse for Ahsoka to be overwhelmed by some things (her sense of taste is completely different) and underwhelmed by others (this is your eyesight???) and panicked by others (her sense of echolocation is completely GONE), and then Anakin calming her down by Brushing Her Hair, something she's never had before.

Ahsoka has a meltdown and Anakin, who is also very panicked because the Force is just gone for him, is doing his best to keep her somewhat level and ANYWAY Anakin knows how to do cool, solid, safe braids because Padme taught him how to do her wig-secure crown braids, so when Ahsoka's being overwhelmed by the sensory hell of her new hair touching her shoulders, Anakin brushes it out and braids it up for her while Obi-Wan tries to find them a way out, and Rex and Cody help him notice things like "we can't read this alphabet for shit" and "that's not a speeder... is it..."

The clones are Itchy without their armor in an unfamiliar space. The Jedi keep tripping on sidewalk cracks and stuff because they're not used to needing to look where they're going. Also they don't have their sabers or blasters.

Ahsoka tucked into Anakin's side in a coffee shop that they somehow managed to Exchange Currency at... sipping on something sweet and complicated-flavor that she doesn't recognize and is very confused by because none of these tastes are familiar... a barista asks if she's okay and Anakin has to stutter over "my padawan" in favor of "my sister" because it's kind of safer but anyway could they get a cup of ice water for the kid?

The clones get asked if they're from New Zealand or Australia because of the accents and just Blank Stare until the person leaves in discomfort like "Was it something I said? Maybe they think I should be able to tell the difference?" but no they just don't fucking know what New Zealand and Australia are.

Imagine if she couldn’t really taste sweetness before. She finally understands the appeal of candy!

Ahsoka doesn't like 'being' human but she decides she likes the Expanded Taste Range (now she understands WHY people add spices) and having her hair played with (she's maybe a little jealous of people like Padme now).

Several of the Jedi keep forgetting they can’t jump 20 feet high anymore and keep slamming into fences. One of them tries to jump off something and is tackled by a clone. The clones keep forgetting they can’t jump off things and get caught anymore.

“Normal humans die when they do that!”

The clones don't register as clones to anyone, just Young Hot Guys With Nice Muscles, so Cody and Rex get hit on by strangers more in the Modern AU adventure than in the rest of their lives put together.

They register as twins though. And some people are maybe into that specifically. Strangely, in this context, being genetically identical is more attractive.

The only person in this group that knows how to recognize flirtation and how to flirt back is Obi-Wan.

Someone sees a Marvel movie playing a TV store and just drags the other four over because IS THAT MASTER WINDU WITH AN EYEPATCH. Or alternately IS THAT AN OLDER SENATOR AMIDALA IN BORING CLOTHES.

Per @atagotiak on discord

Hey, it could be worse, it could be literally almost anything else Ewan McGregor is in. I enjoy the other movies I’ve seen him in (though I haven’t seen a lot) it’s just every last one would be jarring as heck to them.

Birds of prey “Wow Obi-Wan, you’re a dick”

It's just Moulin Rouge's steamy scenes and Obi-Wan is like [head tilt] is... is that supposed to be me????

(I'm going to say that none of the Star Wars movies exist in this modern AU, but only because that would get too complicated.)

Ahsoka gets yelled at by Someone (a store employee, a cop, a random douchebag on the street), and Obi-Wan steps in because he's closest and also the person most invested in making sure she doesn't start throwing punches.

Person: Sorry man, didn't mean to scare your, uh, daughter. Obi-Wan's face: [is doing complicated things]

(Being Ahsoka’s dad is probably less weird than being Anakin’s dad. Just agewise and all that.)

Obi-Wan objectively recognizes that this is a reasonable assumption and also a safe one to work with, in that explaining their actual relationship might be sketchy depending on whether or not apprenticeships are a thing on this planet, and going with a person's first not-terrible assumption is usually a safe bet to not draw too much attention!

But 'parent' is a bit of a loaded concept for a lineage so prone to attachment (and tragedy).

Ahsoka finds herself getting inexplicably tired a few hours into a walk that would normally leave her fine, and since Anakin and Obi-Wan are also having trouble, it's apparently not a humans thing, it's... not having the Force. They’re still pretty strong and have good endurance but they’re not superhuman anymore so.

Adding in that Ahsoka's a young teenager who has no idea what she can eat that she can actually stand the taste of yet, so she keeps getting sugar crashes since it's the only thing she can reliably stomach...

[artificialcaracal]

Finally watched that American Psycho movie everyone keeps talking about

and I don’t see what all the hubbub is about with this Patrick Bateman guy.  He’s a complete fuckin loser this dude, an absolute nobody.  Everyone keeps talking about “Aw fuck this dude is a psychopath  and nobody can even tell because society is so shallow and vapid” like shut the fuck up nobody cares about your armchair psychology 101 diagnosis of the least interesting man on the planet.  Congrats, you picked up the DSM-5 and can read we’re all so impressed good for you.  The reason nobody knows that Patrick Bateman is a psychotic serial killer is because nobody is interested in Bateman in the goddamn slightest.  Any idea that Bateman is interesting, significant, or in any way notable comes only from his own internal narration.  The guy is a generic Wall Street failson with delusions of grandeur, that’s it, that’s the character, that’s the American Psycho.  People will really watch a movie where the protagonist is a fragile man who’s routinely mocked, looked down upon, and called a spineless twit and come away thinking “Wow he’s so cool, he’s an edgelord that nobody likes, what a guy.”.  The horror of American Psycho isn’t about the socially stunted serial killer dude that no one respects.  It’s the existential dread that comes from crying out kicking and screaming into a world that just doesn’t care.  It’s the absolute lack of consequence and catharsis that arises when after confessing to all of his various murders in the midst of a mental breakdown, Bateman’s lawyer thinks that it’s a joke, because Patrick Bateman as he sees it, is a guy who has and will never do anything worthy of mention, let alone kill 20 to 40 people.  The horrific climax of the film is Bateman sitting down at a table, and finally realizing that absolutely nothing he has done means anything to anyone.  That he’s completely incapable of changing his own circumstances.  That nothing about how he lives has affected the world at large in any significant way.  Do you think Bateman is cool?  Do you think he’s clever or suave?  Do you think he’s some sort of social chameleon, whatever the hell that means?  Well you’re wrong.  Bateman is none of these things.  Bateman literal tells a drunk coworker, Paul Allen, to his face that he dissects women and is a fucked up dude.  The man is a literal manchild crying out for attention, for someone to give a shit about what he does, and it goes completely unacknowledged as Allen can only think of to ask about his tan, because Allen cares a lot about tanning, so much so that he has a tanning bed at home.  As a matter of fact, the only reason he and Allen are talking is because Allen mistook Bateman for another person because they both wear the same type of suit and go to the same barber.  There is nothing that distinguishes Bateman from any other guy in his office, so much so that not even his own lawyer recognizes him.  Bateman is so petty, unremarkable, shallow, and pathetic that he kills Allen in a jealous rage because he had a better looking business card and could get a reservation at a restaurant that Bateman couldn’t.  His murder of Allen is little more than a violent temper tantrum with “It’s Hip to Be Square” playing in the background.  Bateman doesn’t register that Allen’s prestige might come from doing something people deem important (getting the opportunity to work on the ever elusive Fischer account), and instead spends the film pissing and shitting himself over the fact that Allen can get seats at a restaurant he can’t, Allen has a nicer business card than he does, Allen has a more expensive looking apartment.  Allen has nicer things than Bateman and that just doesn’t gel with his worldview that he’s an important special boy that people should care about simply because he exists. Do you think that Bateman is cool?  Do you think he’s some sort cutthroat businessman who clawed his way to the top through being cunning, savvy, and not caring about who gets in his way?  Is that the impression you get of him as he walks into his office listening to the 80′s hit “Walking on Sunshine”?  Because Bateman isn’t the product of his own abilities.  He’s the Vice President of a company his father owns.  He’s a wealthy guy born into wealth like most other wealthy guys, completely insulated from failure thanks to the power of corporate nepotism.  Bateman never had to try to accomplish anything, so what if he graduated from Harvard Business school?  That’s not a measure of personal merit for him, he has a rich dad who could easily use his vast resources to get him into an ivy league through any number of ways, donations, legacy, straight up paying someone to get good enough test scores for him to get in, and considering that we never, and I mean never, hear about Bateman working on anything, leads me to believe he legitimately does no work ever.  The most we learn about Bateman is his needlessly convoluted morning routine, how many crunches he can do, and whenever he prompts someone to ask him about what he does, and they actually humor him, all he can think to mention is how he kills people.  The only two topics he gives a shit about are geeking out about serial killers and droning on about the music he likes.  There is no more to his personality than that, and he has nothing of value to say.  Everyone will wax lyrical about how the world of American Psycho is shallow, but Bateman is just as, if not more. You can’t possibly think that Bateman is a deep guy can you?  That he’s got some intriguing and engaging view on the world, and isn’t simply a thoroughly detached bozo who cares more about displays of power and dominance than actually engaging with people and the world around him, can you?  Bateman likes the arbitrary social hierarchy that exists, and he wants to be on top of it so bad.  He wants the prestige, the admiration, for other people to submit to his will, but not even the restaurant Dorsia’s will take him seriously, laughing him off the moment he tries to make a reservation, and that upsets him, because he’s Patrick Bateman!  He’s a cool Wall Street guy!  He has lots of money!  He’s the vice president of Perkins & Perkins!  Turns out, none of his other rich pals give a damn, nor do they find him particularly impressive.  In the world of rich socialites, he’s at the absolute bottom.  Bateman is simply a dude who’s obsessed with the attainment and wielding of status.  Violently cutting down anyone he perceives to be above him, and callously stomping on those below.  Yeah he killed a homeless man in an alley.  Was that shocking to you?  Did it make you think “Wow Bateman is a fucked up guy for doing that.  He must be a real psycho™ to be brutalizing the poor.  He’s nothing like the other wealthy characters in the film.  Surely, Bateman must be intrinsically different from them in some way!”?  Yeah sure uh huh, Patrick Bateman is the only rich guy who has ever shown disdain towards the poor and the homeless.  Patrick Bateman is a real outlier of a person for abusing his vast economic power to routinely cause harm to working class people for his own selfish gain.  Patrick Bateman is the American Psycho and thank god every other obscenely rich person is normal and not at all like him.  Bateman is shown to routinely maim and kill sex workers just to get off, and film makes it pretty clear that there are no consequences for him doing this.  Not even when he openly shoots a woman on the street.  The only murder of his that gets investigated is the death of Allen, another rich guy.  Surely this not-at-all subtle imagery has zero subtext relating to the real world in any capacity.   By the way, Bateman’s alibi that lets him get away with Allen’s murder?  A bunch of guys not realizing that he wasn’t actually at a restaurant with them on the night Allen died. I think there’s something to be said about mocking people who idolize Bateman.  Not that they’re in reality nothing like he is, but that chances are, they are just like him.  An aimless edgelord who’s only qualm with the status quo is that he isn’t at the tippity-top of it, and that they, just like him, lack the self-awareness to realize how absurdly idiotic and empty a sentiment like that is.  The sort of person who would come away from watching Bateman’s deluded view of himself come crashing down around as he wishes nothing but pain and suffering on the people around him as state of mind to aspire to.  That somehow his perpetually unfulfilled state is really cool and interesting actually and not at all a product of his wanton inability to grow, engage in introspection, or achieve any level of depth and intimacy.  I’d say I hate the guy, but what is there to hate?  He’s a nothing man living a nothing life where he achieves nothing and gets nothing from the experience.  Watching American Psycho took me on a dizzyingly meandering ride before ending on pure unadulterated emptiness as it explores just what it means to have absolutely nothing going on behind the eyes.  It’s a good movie I refuse to talk to anyone else about because anyone who wants to talk about American Psycho above literally any other film isn’t a person worth talking to.  This movie taught me hatred and caused me to dissociate after I went to bed.  It is excellently executed total depravity and I have no idea what movie everybody else was watching because it’s not that fucking deep.  It’s a movie about a rich guy who has nothing better do with his life killing people, and just how insanely boring that guy would be.