#and like. maybe I'm being mean here I don't know this person's deal and to be clear they're right! that's canon!
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bonefall · 8 months ago
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I understand being upset by the moonpaw dog post but i dont think talking about some random teen publicly (on a pretty big fandom blog) as opposed to like, dming them about it, is a very nice thing to do? Would recommend keeping that kinda gossip in dms going forward personally.
??????? "That kinda gossip???"
Saying that it's fucked up that a publicly posted incest joke about how deformed she should look went to the top of the Warrior Cats and Moonpaw tags, is gossip???
TRENDING TAGS?? GOSSIP?
I'm not talking about "some random teen," I have not even dropped a username and been VERY clear I don't want harassment of anyone. During this discussion about wider ableism against Moonpaw, I've directly answered two anons about the contents of a post that was/IS extremely popular to the tune of nearly a thousand notes.
One of those two asks was an anon who only stumbled in to say that the post was funny in a display of SHOCKING tonedeafness, while I was talking about how shitty it is to compare people who are the products of incest to unethical dog breeds, especially in the context of WC. The other was an actual XX/XY chimera who expressed that the extremely popular post hurt their feelings, and when they tried to express discomfort to someone, got told they "probably killed their twin in the womb."
It's not just one rando weenie little blog the minute half of the Tumblr space is openly laughing at a joke about deformed incest kids and hoping Moonpaw dies because she's so "gross." Not nice?? Your feelings are hurt? OTHER people's feelings were ALREADY hurt.
NOTHING about this was "nice" to begin with!
Difference is, when YOU cry me a river, you can build me a bridge, and get right the fuck over it. A person who's the product of incest cries and has to go right back to every shitty banjo-hunchback-hapsburg joke they've heard before, just feeling more unsafe about a space that PRETENDS to care about the abuse they experienced. If you feel guilty about that, maybe you should!
If you were under the impression I was ever "nice" about bigotry, you were mistaken. I don't appreciate calls for ME to be more polite when I'm at a trend of fandom ableism and calling it fucked up. I've named NO names. Sounds like what you ACTUALLY want is for people like me who have a platform to shut up.
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thegempage · 6 months ago
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eeeuuuuggghhh i'm gonna bitch in the tags a bit bcus this isn't like. serious enough to put more effort into it than that but i also don't want it to sit in my brain.
#little rock.txt#venting#self harm in tags btw#anyway. wow i hate intrusive thoughts.#like great guys. it's so cool that the way we're deciding to spend our time is constantly thinking about ways to hurt myself#oh wow stabbing myself with a knife someone left on the counter? so original. never been seen before#oh starving myself?? even when my lovely friend made us a whole dinner?? that's lovely. wow. not even a little bit rude#standing in traffic until someone comes and hits me? at least that wouldn't damage my fucking car like your other ideas!#taking something sharp to my sunburns for a two-birds-one-stone thing?? i guess you're making the best of the circumstances#like jesus fucking christ Grow Up. am i fifteen goddamn years old again#like if we're being So real the consequences of actually self-harming Far outweigh the benefits so i'm not at any real risk#(i do Not want to deal with the fallout of 1. cleaning those wounds 2. confronting my housemates with active self-harm#they actively do not deserve that happening to them)#(hi guys btw sorry. i'm fine)#but that just means i'm sitting here like. so are you gonna be productive or....?#like i had plans of what i wanted to do with my brain power tonight. was gonna write. maybe clip a stream. and we're...?#oh just sitting on my laptop playing music too loud bcus if i could hear my own thoughts it'd be a nightmare? neat.#jesus christ can i be a normal goddamn person for like fifteen minutes and get out of this anxiety spiral. it's been over 24 hours.#whatever. like at this point it's fucking whatever. if i can't drag myself into being productive i'm just gonna go to bed.#“opal is being mean to yourself really going to help” i don't know. i doubt it. unfortunately i am in the mood to be a bitch#and the only person who deserves to deal with bitchy opal is me. so.#anyway if you read all of this uuuhhh sorry. i am like this. but hey. thank you for caring
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gigantomachylesbian · 4 months ago
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The other day I saw fanart of Haruhi OHSHC as like. a woman. getting she-her'ed long hair had a baby. and the art was really cute and clearly made with so much love but I was SHOCKED. their ass is NOT a woman!!! And I literally had a DREAM last night about sending this random artist I don't follow an ask about it it upset me so much
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ame-to-ame · 5 months ago
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:|
#i am not gods strongest soldier#she'll talk to someone who will say stuff like you're useless to her and take it fine but. she won't even stand to be in the same room w me#what difference is it to be being in your room playing games with the same people all the time vs. like idk.#aren't you just transferring who you're dependent on. is the difference just the level of commitment. you feel like you can leave whenever#nothing's changed really somehow. you're still doing the same things you did while back then. just that you also avoid me.#and god i don't know. i tell myself I'll care less I'll get over it it is what it is and i try so hard to be busy and not think abt it#but i can't sleep w/o watching something these days or else it's on my mind and that's been shit for my sleep quality#it's the first thing that pops up in my mind when i wake up. i get distracted in class sometimes by it. it's not like i can control it#it's just like the more you try to not think abt sth the more it comes up type of deal.#and I'm trying so hard but i think this is legitimately. gonna make me spiral and I'm trying my best to have a grip and not go there#i have things I'm looking forward to and I'm supposed to b having fun but it's hard when. There's that looming in the back of your head.#ugh ok rational choice let's go. i don't try to talk to her: we don't talk. she doesn't try to talk to me. i suffer in silence.#maybe I'll get over it find something new that feels like a safehouse but that's a big if. and idk how long i can hold on for#i try to talk to her: maybe it could go well? but maybe she'll just get more avoidant#i don't really get it it's like she can respond and laugh to stuff i say when in a group setting but she gets so guarded when it's just me#like subconsciously you know I'm not a threat you can allow yourself to have fun around me.#but you're consciously putting a guard up around me and reinforcing the negative feelings when it's just me#god. i don't. but. at least it sounds like she's happy for now so. that's all i ask for. if she doesn't want to see me i don't show up#i want to see her but. i mean. There's really no compromise or middle ground here.#they say time heals everything but it's already been so long. i don't even know why I'm still attached. she's like a different person.#the person i loved appears every now and then just never in front of me and I'm trying my best but I've never been good with loss#how do you come to terms with something being dead and alive at the same time. how do you make up the mind to drive the nail in the casket.#i can't make myself put it into the dirt when i catch a glimpse of the person i once knew. that hasn't changed for anyone else. just me.#vent#delete later
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witherby · 27 days ago
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Continuation of the biting baby, y/n as a toddler somehow developed the habit of headbutting people in the gut but not bruce. He still gets bit but aye, he's not alone anymore lmao
(Baby has to be put in air jail almost everyday buy the moment they're out they headbutt the person who placed them in air jail as hard as possible)
(Also just in case people doesn't know what air jail is,u just hold the baby/animal In the air with ur hand)
A pattern is forming. I think you all want Mouse to be a violent baby.
Including me, so —
The Littlest Wayne: Air Jail
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"AHH! SHI-AHhhghh sugarhoneyicetea..."
Bruce lifts his eyes from his newspaper and looks at the couch, waiting for the inevitable. Like clockwork a pair of hands shoot into the air, with you as prisoner, and you start complaining and windmilling your limbs. The hands holding you are encased in leather; Jason must have been the victim then.
"Mousey, I'm workin' with two broken ribs and a concussion," the man complains, jostling you for emphasis. You squeal, giggling. "You cannot keep running into me with that thick little noggin at full speed. I felt a third rib crack upon impact. You're killing me. You're killing your brother. I'm gonna die again."
"Wanna!" You insist, back to windmilling. "Down! Jay-Jay, down!"
"No down. You get Air Jail 'till you say sorry and promise not to headbutt me again."
"I sowwy..." You whine, jutting your bottom lip out for emphasis. "Down, p'ease."
"Jesus Christ, the puppy dog eyes are lethal. I — ugh. You gotta say you won't headbutt me anymore. No more headbutt, okay?"
Your eyes start to water. Bruce watches you sink back down, vanishing behind the back of the couch, and snorts into his paper. He lets out a full laugh when Jason cries out a minute later. You've struck again.
"WE HAD A DEAL. Get over here, you're going back to Air Jail."
You shriek with delight, toddling away as fast as your chubby legs will allow. Jason, as injured as he is, actually can't catch up to you before you spot your dad and make the motion for Uppies.
"Daddy!" You cry. Bruce sets the paper aside and scoops you up.
"Are you being naughty?" He asks. You grin and hide your face in his shoulder. "Uh oh. Maybe I'll let Jay put you back in Air Jail — OW?"
He winces and your peals of laughter ring right next to his head. You open your mouth to bite him again, but he's the one to lift you into the air this time. "Daddy! Down!"
"I'm calling the police," Bruce deadpans, dropping into the Batman Voice. "Your rampant string of crime has gone unchecked for too long. Victims are piling up left and right. You've headbutt all your brothers this week, and Uncle Hal, and Titus. How Grandpa is escaping your tyranny is a mystery, but it's time to turn you over to the law."
"No powice, daddy!"
"Yes powice, child."
Bruce stands up and carries you into the day room, lowering you down into an extra tall play pen.
"Time out for five minutes."
You pout and cross your tiny arms, glaring at the ground.
"Don't wike, daddy. Want out."
"Yeah, well Daddy doesn't like getting bitten like a cookie, and your brothers don't like taking your skull to their bodies at high speeds. We want our skin free from bruises and teeth marks."
"Ha-ha," Jason teases from the doorway, pointing at you. "Get got, criminal!"
Your pouting intensifies. You reach out to Jason and make small whining noises.
"Want out. Want Jay-Jay, p'ease! Jay-Jay!"
The smug little smirk fades from Jason quick, turning into something fond and pitying.
"....I mean...c'mon, B, they're three. Five whole minutes?"
Bruce rolls his eyes. "This is why we haven't been able to curb this behavior yet. You can't fall for big eyes and a please every time —"
You hitch a little sob, and like a wet paper bag, Bruce folds.
"Maybe I'm being a tad harsh. They're three years old..."
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leidensygdom · 3 days ago
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Okay, we all know about the usual warlock-patron dynamics. Creature with god-like powers tries to do their bidding or further their plans through a mortal, who is often going to be troubled by the pact. But, I'm here to propose some alternatives, specially for warlock deals that aren't inherently very harmful to the warlock themself:
This one is pretty typical, but the patron is a family member. If sorcerers can get cool powers from having a dragon grandpa, your fire genasi can have an auntie who is a big fire elemental who is trying VERY hard to connect with her family now, so she gives her nephew an allowance in the form of a Genie Pact
Your patron is undead (and your pact is Undying), but this person is not some power-hungry lich. This is someone you knew in life: A friend, or perhaps a partner. You had fought for a common cause, and they met their death trying to see the end of it, but they refused to leave you alone. Now, within you, their stubbornness has kept them from moving on, and they lend their newfound powers to help you in your common cause.
It's an eldritch entity, a creature beyond your comprehension. Your pact is that of a Great Old One. However, this creature doesn't quite have very concise plans to bring the end of the world- You're actually pretty sure it isn't even from your world. As time goes on, and as you realize their whims seem erratic, you realize that this thing you get powers from is... Probably the cosmic equivalent of a child. Maybe it's still cocooning in the depths of a distant dying planet. And it's incredibly bored. Someday, maybe, they'll terrorize the universe, but right now, they just really want you to be their eyes on another world. Call it enrichment.
Okay, this one is a fiend. Unequivocally so. But truthfully, they couldn't care less about your world, and you're not particularly concerned about what is going down in theirs. They kinda need few things done in your plane, few resources gathered, some people talked to, and between the lines, you realize that your newfound... ally is actually trying to oppose their boss or whatever. This one is a deeply legal-minded fiend, as far as you know: The hellish equivalent to a bureaucrat, after really digging around. Your party is convinced they will turn on you sometime, but eventually you realize you're just helping something that, for a lack of a better word, has to be an infernal-equivalent of an union effort.
That sword you picked was definitely cursed, and the voice within it has been calling to you. Eventually, you lend them your ear, and now you have an Hexblade pact. But this creature isn't bloodthirsty, nor talking to you about soaking their blade with your foes' guts. Truthfully, they hate being a sword. Trapped there as part of a vengeance, perhaps, this thing longs for freedom. And it has been used for evil in the past- Maybe the overabundance of skull motifs in their physical vessel didn't help. But this creature just wants to be able to experience a life that has been robbed from them. Your party may raise an eyebrow at you getting friendly with the possibly-malignant sword, but y'all are just making plans to get them to your favourite restaurant once they're freed.
This Archfey is the descendant of a powerful entity in Feywild side of things. The heir of some great lineage, or whatever is going on within their realm. You frankly don't know, because they're a bit of a... brat. One that kinda longs to escape their situation and get to live something more normal. You only find out this over time, when you realize you're kinda that friend their parents frown about. This entity, powerful beyond comprehension, just really wants to hang out with you and have a board game night with you. They'd love to meet your besties-- I mean, your world-saving allies. And you'd love to give them the opportunity someday, truth be told, but pissing off a fey court seems to be a high price.
You got stranded far into the ocean as a kid, and the rest of the people involved in the shipwreck did not make it out. But you attracted the attention of a group of merfolk, who had barely ever had the chance to meet someone like you. People had told you tales of how they'd drown and eat anyone coming into their territory, but these creatures were instead cooing about you. You're now grown up, and you can call them for power. Your party frowns at the idea of "I kinda got adopted by a sea polycule and I got a cantrip and few other boons about it", but you know they'll have to eat their words when you bring them for dinner- If you can find a way to table them in the middle of the ocean, that is.
the celestial patron is still a dick tho
Feel free to add onto these if you'd like, I'd love to hear concepts >:3
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kouzih · 27 days ago
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Something stupid.
Nam-gyu ( Player 124 ) x gn!reader .ᐟ
warnings : swearing/insulting, semi-public sex(?) creampie, unprotected sex, smut obviously..uhh imo maybe more stuff
tags,, @gongyoosgf @cybrasigilism
requested by anon!! wc : 2.8k
( this could maybeee count as min-su x reader but imo..no proofread though)
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ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ You try to comfort Min-su by holding his hands and caressing his palms. You had come to him because you noticed that he was stressed. The tremors in his body instantly disappear with the touch of your hands, your voice softly echoing in his ears as his eyes remain locked on your hands.
"Hey, it'll be fine."
Your grip relaxed him, his head shaking slightly as he looked up at you with shaky eyes. A tiny grunt of agreement comes from his lips. You could understand his nervousness, after all, many people died in every game here. You tried to be with him as much as you could during the games. You would drag him around by holding his hand, but ultimately you would make sure he was safe.
On the other hand...you would be lying if it didn't bother you that the others in the group were so obsessed with him. Before you could even approach him and ask him how he was, they would jump on him and surround him. Still, he tries to look after you as much as he can.
"H-hey, wait—" The man who introduced himself as 'Thanos' held Min-su’s hands and congratulated him on being unharmed, leaving you behind as Min-su tilted his head to look at you. "Hm?" As you turned your attention to his almost inaudible voice, a pair of hands began to wrap around your neck from behind, a lazy voice heard in your ears as a warm breath brushed against your shoulders. "Heyy, you made it." He was throwing you back and forth while his hands were caressing your shoulders, and before you could respond Min-su he had you turned towards him. His signature smirk was on his face as his hands moved to your shoulders sides, his eyes flicking to his friend before he leaves you alone.
You let out a breath you didn’t even realize you were holding and walked over to Min-su, muttering in an annoyed voice as you tried to get the others away from him. "Yes, yes, we both made it, no big deal." The man, who clung to your grip as if his life depended on it, swallowed hard and looked at the others. Thanos looks at you in surprise but doesn’t say anything, while Nam-gyu looks like he’s trying hard not to laugh. While looking to the side with his teeth pressed into his lower lip, hands caressing his hair.
Being his typical self, you don't say anything, rolling your eyes and looking at the boy you're holding onto. His eyes were fixed on your hands and he looked like he had forgotten to blink. Feeling your gaze on him, Min-su looks at you with embarrassment and pulls his hands away, you hear a small whisper under his breath. "Ah- sorry.." You blink as you look at your hand that is still in the air. You hold on to him more than you should, you thought. "..It's fine?" As you walked towards your beds, Min-su was following you. You turned around and checked on him a couple times, he was busy with playing with his hands.
Nam-gyu was walking in front of you, his body facing you, mumbling things you didn’t care about while giving you a questioning look every time you turned around. "Hey. I'm right here." He pauses for a second to get your attention by shaking his hand. "I already know that." "Then why do I feel like you're not listening me?" Putting your hand under your chin and pretending to think, you spoke. "Maybe because I don't." He looked at you with a sour face, raising an eyebrow. "Bitch." You could tell his mood even from his tone of voice. You knew he didn’t really mean it, it was just his fantasy to say that to every person he came across. When you get to your beds, you start sitting on the metal steps, your eyes searching for Min-su, you tap your feet on the ground in a small rhythm.
Min-su sits down next to you with a small smile, closing his knees and pulling his hands together. While the others started chatting, you noticed Min-su was just looking at you without saying anything. He was looking at you with his head slightly tilted to the side and his eyes locked on you, as if he were dreaming. "So how's it going..?" Saying it suddenly, you distract him. He leans his body forward a little and mutters something under his breath. "Nothing much honestly..." "You know, you don't have to worry that much." "Hm?" He listens carefully to what you have to say, turning his face towards you. "I know this place is..well, not the best. But at least we get to..have fun." "Have fun??" There was a hint of concern in his voice, and the look on his face made you chuckle slightly. For a moment you felt like everyone was silent and listening to you, but you continued speaking.
"Well, I could do something stupid and nobody would care. Everyone is worried about getting out the next day safely."
A small hum is heard from Min-su, a sign that he agrees with you. But when you think about it... Min-su was acting braver towards you. If it was for others, he would have tried to go to bed or something, and would not have wanted to continue the conversation. And he seemed to enjoy being with you. Whenever you're with Se-mi, he would always follow you two around and try to give you answers whenever he could. Nam-gyu sucking his teeth behind you suddenly brings you out of your thoughts. Just as you thought, they started listening to you. With an irritated sigh, you turn your head to the side, only to see Nam-gyu is staring at you. Since he's sitting on the wrong side, his head is thrown back, hair is falling behind his ear, and his hands are supporting him at his sides.
"What?"
"Maybe think twice before you talk."
You stand up, looking at him with an embarrassed face. You could hear giggling behind you as you made your way to the bathroom. It wouldn't be a lie if you did it to avoid staying there. After a short while, when you have to go back, you bump into someone while opening the door. At first, you don't recognize who it is because of the sound of the collision, but when he speaks with that soft voice, you realize who it is. "..You're sure you're okay?" Chewing the inside of your cheek, you look at the guy in front of you. "Oh-yeah, yeah! I am..You didn't have to check on me." You take a step forward while rubbing your hands on your cardigan as if it hadn't dried yet. The man in front of you didn't say anything but you understood what he meant, this time he was next to you as you walked, instead of behind you. When you come back into the room you realize most of the players already went to bed. Did time go by that fast? There were still people standing, but most people had already taken their seats. You grab Min-su’s hand and lead him towards your bed.
When you two get to your beds, you realize Nam-gyu still isn’t asleep, in fact, he’s not even in his bed. He was sitting cross-legged, head resting on his shoulder, no conversation taking place between you as his eyes were on you. Min-su says goodnight to you in a small voice as he goes to bed. He jumps on the bed lightly and pulls the covers over himself, and making eye contact with you for a while. You sit on the edge of your own bed, smiling at him. Whispering back to him, you wait for him to sleep. The bed moving draws your attention to the back of the bed, where a figure is at the other end of the bed, supporting himself with one hand, looking at you from the side. "What is it this time Nam-gyu?" You say in a whispered voice, throwing your shoes under the bed to lean back against it, shaking your head slightly and pushing the hair out of your eyes. You sit in a position with your hands between your legs and wait for the answer of the man in front of you.
"Payback." He says simply as he plays with the ends of his hair. You look at him with a raised eyebrow, pulling your covers back as you try to simply ignore him. "I don't have anything on me, you know that." You say. "Whatever I have to pay for anyway.." You whisper the last part. Nam-gyu throws himself into the covers and lets out an unbothered sigh. "For saving your ass in games, asshole." Your attention shifts to the sleeping Min-su as he looks at you from under his eyes, and you swallow, folding your arms. "Stop playing around, yeah? I just wanna sleep right now. " He wraps one arm around your shoulder and the other rests on your lap, his touch landing in...not so innocent places.
The moment you grabbed his hand to pull it away, his gaze met yours. As if he was warning you. "Well, I could do something stupidddd..and nobody would careee.." He straightened his posture as he said it in a sarcastic tone. The sheets on you two was now thrown to the side. "Then I should give you something stupid to do, huh?" His whispering did not stop as his hand pointed lazily to the side, toward Min-su's side. "Because it doesn't look like he's going to do it." As you opened your mouth to speak, one hand went to cover your mouth, his voice quieter but more sincere. "You don't wanna wake him up, do you?" You gasped in surprise as your mouth closed. He pulled his hand away as his lips took its place, one hand moving to the back of your bed, shamelessly watching you squirm beneath him with your eyes open as he supported himself from where you were leaning.
You, who had your eyes closed tightly, began to loosely grip the sheets beneath you, your touch lazily moving to his hair as he let go of your hand. He parts from your lips as you hope no one hears you, his gaze drifting down as he guides your hand to cover your mouth. You did your best to cover your mouth as you breathed heavily with one eye closed, as your eye quickly shifted to the side you yelped to the cold sensation gripping your waist. You swallow at the sound of his whispering and try to fix your almost fallen position. "Shhh.." He had that stupid smile on his face. He grabs the hem of your sweatpants as his hands slide down. He could have sworn you were shaking as he shifted them to the side.
"You know how to talk back, but you are under me in such a needy state? Hah. You better keep it this way, you disgusting bitch."
A feeling filled you the moment you realized that his hands had lowered his sweatpants as well. Uh, oh. You glanced around to make sure no one was watching, but Nam-gyu reassured you. "I don't think they have the courage to look at all." He decided to use his hand, which was wet from covering your mouth earlier, to prepare you. "Even if they get a chance to look.. all they'll see is some bitch underneath me, dying to get me." Your knees began to wrap around his waist when you felt something cold and wet inside you, you could feel his breath on your ear as a positive grunt fell from his lips. He didn't even need to prepare you, actually. The way he spoke had already prepared you enough. Noticing this, he quickly pulled his finger out, letting out a 'pop' sound as something much wetter quickly took its place. The urge to look down was born inside you, the heavy breathing you were taking with difficulty could easily be heard by someone else when the hand covering your mouth slowly slid down.
"It must feel good to get what you asked. Yeah? You spoiled brat." You seemed to have swallowed your voice, so the things you wanted to say to him were only limited in your mind. "S-shut up.." You hissed under your breath, your mind going fuzzy from the insults he threw at you as you took his length inside you. For a moment you felt like your insides were being torn apart. After taking it all, a burden fell on your back as if there was a pulsating vein inside you. Nam-gyu's eyes darted to you and he said something that took you a moment to understand before he moved. "It's too bad you're so needy.."
His thrusts back and forth made you sob a bit, you felt your legs part to the side as a few tears escaped your eyes. "Fuck.." It felt stupid to even try to catch your breath. Each other’s soft, well his harsh and your soft voices filling your ears as you clung to his shoulders for support. He let his forehead fall onto your shoulder as his grip on you tightened, his hair sticking to your neck and his own face.
The only sounds you could hear coming out of his mouth were curses and a few grunts. After what feels like hours, your body is starting to feel a little too hot. You notice Nam-gyu is starting to get a little too quiet, too. "..Nam-gyu?" He doesn't give you an answer and you can feel him shiver for a moment. Once you realize what's going on, you quickly push him off his shoulder, your eyes widening momentarily. He stares at you with his eyebrows raised as you fix yourself and give him a sign to pull it out. You opened your mouth in an instant when you felt something warm inside you, and Nam-gyu pulled back with an irritated voice, at least you thought he did. Looking at you with the worst eyes you’ve ever seen, you realize.
He still doesn't take it all the way out, so the sticky feeling inside doesn't go away. You'll just feel less pressure. Nam-gyu pushes his hair back as a little of the liquid you’d rather not see spills out, his hand going to squeeze your ass as he lets out a relieved sigh. And you lie there, still unable to catch your breath. You hiccup as you feel movement inside you again, your eyes meeting with Nam-gyu's. As he continued to move as if it was none of your business, you felt the liquid inside you come out and then enter you with every movement. As if it wasn't enough to make you feel overwhelmed, the realization that he was finished once again caused the dried tears in your eyes to be replaced by new ones. The feeling of fullness inside you made you feel strange. Nam-gyu finally decides to pull out and lightens his touch with a small chuckle. Your breathing is still ragged as you shakily place your hands on your legs for support. The way the man fixes himself in front of you without any affect draws your attention, your eyes following his movements as the drool flowing from your mouth hits the bed. Swallowing heavily, you bring your hand up to your face to fix your hair.
"Dickhead.."
"Talking like you didn't just take my dick."
"W-whatever.."
As he brushed his hair back, the sweat on his forehead making his face explode in a way that was obvious. You reached out to pull the sheets that had been thrown on the sides to cover yourself and pick up the mess he had made.
Noticing this, Nam-gyu effortlessly throws the covers over you, letting it hit your face and fall onto your body, some kind of voice you can't figure out catches your attention. You had forgotten for a moment that Min-su and the others were asleep. The man who has already climbed into his own bed gives you a small wave and leaves you like that. Come on, he won't even help you to clean up? It was an expected behavior from him, anyway..
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astonmartinii · 1 month ago
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day nine: christmas on screen | carlos sainz social media au
pairing: carlos sainz x fem musician reader
what's better than being a super famous singer that's dating a formula one driver? being a super famous singer that's dating a formula one driver that is willing to dress up in silly outfits for your chirstmas special
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR
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yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 4,231,893 others
tagged: chappellroan & netflix
yourusername: yoohoo! i'm excited to announce my christmas special is coming to you via netflix on december sixth!
view all comments
user1: i have never been more sat, my parents are telling me it's not out yet but i am SO sat on our couch
user2: this is about to be my entire personality for the next two months
user3: TWO MONTHS? weak.
oscarpiastri: CHAPPELL???
yourusername: i know right !!!
carlossainz55: why are you here?
oscarpiastri: i may not like YOU but i like y/n and i LOVE chappell
yourusername: so true of you
carlossainz55: no. not true of you
oscarpiastri: you have a problem with me streaming your girlfriend's music? supporting her career?
yourusername: i appreciate it oscar
carlossainz55: YES.
carlossainz55: you're only doing it to bother ME
oscarpiastri: listen here buddy i've been here since the disney days just because you're an OLD MAN doesn't mean i am
yourusername: i think you guys should maybe settle this on track and not in my comments lol
carlossainz55: i'm on it
oscarpiastri: if you can get close enough next season :P
user4: carcar beef even in the offseason we're being FED
user5: can't deal with oscar reminding me that carlos will be in the williams next year
user6: but oscar is also real as fuck for being a disney girl
charles_leclerc: do you need a piano man at all?
carlossainz55: if there's going to be a ferrari driver in this special it would be ME not YOU
charles_leclerc: well you're not really a ferrari driver anymore so.... it's still open?
yourusername: charlie... it's already been filmed... how did you think we made the trailer?
charles_leclerc: oh - BORING!
user7: so that's basically confirmation that carlos will be in the special right?
user8: i mean although his only talents outside of an f1 car seem to be golf, football and liking shady tweets - he does have a face card that demands to be on tv
user9: i wouldn't put it past y/n and carlos to somehow shoehorn smooth operator in there somewhere
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carlossainz55
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carlossainz55: making my netflix debut with my love this winter - check it out december sixth!
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user13: CONFIRMATION !!!!
user14: tbf as soon as this project was announced there was no way he wouldn't be in it in some shape or form
yourusername: it took a LOT of pleading... had to use the netflix card in the end
user15: thank you for your service
yourusername: seeing your face on a big screen? do tell me more
carlossainz55: i'm just happy you let me on the same screen as you
yourusername: but we're always on the same screen together?
landonorris: not this gatekeeping...
yourusername: i don't think you'd want to see it lando
landonorris: why wouldn't i want to see my two best friends ???
carlossainz55: IT'S NOT SUITABLE FOR YOUR EYES STOP ASKING
landonorris: IS IT YALL FUCKING???
yourusername: my lawyer said i shouldn't answer that question
user16: netflix debut? bro said drive to survive? i don't know her
user17: i mean that show is a complete farce
user18: can't wait for the three episode run all about stake and no mention of max vs george
fernandoalo_oficial: wowee chilli you have outdone yourself this time!
carlossainz55: thank you nando :) i hope you will be watching
fernandoalo_oficial: i will be sitting pretty on the sixth no worries, but only if you and y/n come to my new years bash ...
yourusername: WE WILL BE THERE
fernandoalo_oficial: loving the enthusiasm!
carlossainz55: it's because she has a huge crush on you :(
yourusername: welp can you blame me?
carlossainz55: that's a surrogate father to me i will not be agreeing with you
yourusername: snooze
user19: y/n crush on fernando? she's even more relatable
user20: this makes the whole fernando x taylor swift thing even funnier
yourusername: i won't say it was me whole told taylor about that.... buttttt
user21: queen
netflix
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netflix: what will you be watching this christmas break?
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user22: me and my girls will be streaming drive to survive and then will be using a nonsense christmas as a palate cleanser
user23: REAL
user24: @netflix please do better with the next season xxx
carlossainz55: a nonsense christmas. over and over again. until it's all that is in my brain and tattooed on the inside of my eyelids
yourusername: omg you do that too???
yourusername: no living soul should ever see my 'baby' folder on tiktok LOL
carlossainz55: well SNAP
user25: really yall save the tiktok edits of each other?
yourusername: ummm yeah? some of you are VERY talented
carlossainz55: also we're apart more than we're together so something must tide us over
charles_leclerc: is that why you keep looking for cameras, smizing and pouring water on yourself
yourusername: don't forget the backwards cap!
carlossainz55: i gotta give them the material to keep my girl happy
carlossainz55: also who do you think suggested the juno position...
user25: thank you for your service
landonorris: wait so that cute fanservice moment was actually just the y/nlos KARMA SUTRA ???
user26: i need a significant other who does this much just for tiktok edits
user27: is this the 21st century romance we were promised?
user28: it's the best we're getting, poetry is dead i fear
yourusername: so i wrote juno for nothing?
maxverstappen1: i will be conducting a full dexter rewatch
carlossainz55: excuse you?
maxverstappen1: well why would i watch drive to survive? i lived it and i already watched a nonsense christmas - amazing work @yourusername
yourusername: thanks max!
carlossainz55: how have yOU watched it? i haven't even watched it yet?
maxverstappen1: i wouldn't have that if i were you y/n, that guy is meant to be your biggest fan?
carlossainz55: i AM
maxverstappen1: oh and i just bribed netflix lol - they had to make up with me at some point ;)
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yourusername
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yourusername: christmas was on screen for me this year, but i get to live my hallmark romance everyday
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user30: chat do we wanna put bets on how long it takes for them to get their own btec hallmark christmas movie like taylor and travis?
user31: next christmas for sure if they're still together
user32: 'if they're still together' kill yourself
liked by carlossainz55
user33: i will be sat for their awful attempt to film the racing scenes
carlossainz55: you're my fairytale ending princess
yourusername: as if you're not the biggest prize of all
carlossainz55: nope that would be you :P
yourusername: whatever you say beautiful
carlossainz55: no i'm being so serious, you being mine is the best gift of all and one i intend to keep for life
yourusername: well it's your lucky day, i want to be yours forever too
yourusername: but the y/ln name will live on
carlossainz55: i'm ready to take yours
charles_leclerc: it's true i caught him practising a new signature with carlos y/ln
yourusername: that's so fucking hot
user34: so that ended abruptly ...
user35: do we think?
user36: yep. it's defo what we think
user37: i mean i'd also climb my boyf like a tree if he said he wanted to be my life partner and take MY last name
taylorswift: we loved your special !!! see you soon xx
yourusername: thank you mama
carlossainz55: so are we all going to the super bowl orrrrrr
yourusername: let's get through christmas first babe
carlossainz55: ACTUALLY who do i talk to about getting you the super bowl halftime show
user38: boyfriend or agent? why not both!
carlossainz55
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carlossainz55: thank you netflix for allowing to broadcast how hot and amazing my girlfriend is and how absolutely off limits she is
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user39: bro used a NETFLIX special to tell people to back off his girl
user40: i need a boyf like this
user41: i think i speak for most men that we don't have the budget for this
user42: i mean y/n and netflix mostly paid for the special
user41: did or did carlos not ride in on his 'sleigh' that was a WHOLE FERRARI F1 CAR ???
yourusername: i want everyone to know your mine too
yourusername: why do you think i wear so much red?
lewishamilton: right, this is my seat now you people do know this right?
yourusername: RED CAN BE FOR SPAIN TOO
yourusername: DUMBASSES PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE TO THIRST OVER MY BOYF AND WEAR HIS COLOURS
carlossainz55: you do look otherworldly in red 🫶
yourusername: why thank you xx
yourusername: @williamsf1 any chance we can do a one off red livery - perhaps in spain pretty please
williamsf1: i don't think the social media admin has control over it
yourusername: okay i'll just dm james personally
carlossainz55: babe ???
yourusername: you look almost as good as me in red babe i'm doing it for the greater good
yourusername: @alexalbon you'd look okay too i guess?
alexalbon: i'll take it (and i'll take some tickets as well please)
user43: i love how y/n has just become the ticket plug
user44: and for both sides like why was she the one to get travis in touch with alpine but also giving charles the tickets to taylor in italy
landonorris: ugh we get it you're happy
carlossainz55: you doing okay buddy
landonorris: it's a lonely time of year and you guys aren't helping
yourusername: i have a song about this!
landonorris: what do you think has been on blast the last couple of days?
yourusername: i'll take the streams thanks buddy
f1
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f1: so how do we get y/n on OUR netflix show?
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user45: i ask myself this everyday
user46: i'll deal with all the fake drive to survive drama if we get a whole episode of y/n and carlos just existing
user47: i need a y/n hot lap while we're at it as well
carlossainz55: why are you posting such sexy photos of my girlfriend 🤨
f1: ummmmmmm... all photos of her are?
carlossainz55: WRONG ANSWER
carlossainz55: ONLY I'M ALLOWED TO SAY THAT ABOUT HER
f1: i didn't even say the word ???
francocolapinto: take me to jail then
carlossainz55: ugh i don't have the time to fight all of you
francocolapinto: weak
carlossainz55: i have a tight schedule which includes driving in the car you thought you would get and loving the girl YOU WISH YOU COULD BE WITH
francocolapinto: oop
user48: bro is crazy
user49: crazy in LOVE
liked by carlossainz55
yourusername: i guess you'll just have to ask nicely
f1: carlos won't fight us if we do right?
carlossainz55: no... for now
f1: COOL PLEASE COME TO A RACE
yourusername: i can't say much, but i do look just as cute in red as i do i blue :P
user50: YES QUEEN!!!!
user51: and when we get a y/n performance at a race and then we get a juno position at a grand prix weekend...
carlossainz55: that will be my onstage debut
carlossainz55: i know how outrageously horny all you lonely f1 guys are
user52: spill
yourusername: so not just as much as you babe?
carlossainz55: well i actually get to have you sooooooo
yourusername: true :P
user53: LEAVE US ALONE
fin.
note: woah this is like the first time i've written for carlos in like a year. oh and even though this is nice to him... the guilty as sin finale will come in the new year xx
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froginmygarden · 3 months ago
Text
Got a little brain worm on the way home and have a need to write it down. Just a drabble because I'm not good at writing.
DC x DP Just a (clone) couple
Joung Adult!Team Phantom for some reason end up in the DC universe. For reasons, there aren't any equivalents of them here. Danny and Sam are together and Danny and Dani have a familiar relationship. Whatever the reasons they stay in this universe.
So Sam, Danny and Dani start making a life together as a family, Tucker goes on to make a "small business" involving VPN's and tech in general (finds an anthropomorphic girlfriend on the way or something), Jazz goes to uni (JL members city of choice, although I advise against Gotham or Metropolis, because that would make this too short).
For some MORE reasons unknown, although they might be by the making of our favourite clock-man, the DP people's DNA has by default markings of being clones in DC (I don't know if this is canon or fanon but Connor had something like that ╮⁠(⁠^⁠▽⁠^⁠)⁠╭). The thing is here Jack = Bruce, Maddy = Alexander and Jeremy = Clark, Pamela = Lois! Do you see my vision here??
So *JL member from the perspective city* meets the Fenton/Manson/Nightingale?? family accidentally when they are visiting Jazz, and has a sweet deja vu moment. Some time passes and the off handedly mention it to someone in the JL.
Batman being the paranoid bastard that he is goes on to check this thing out, because he can smell the fish from a mile away. Thinks the couple are clones, gets very paranoid again and starts making plans, plans get found by his kids, kids tell the JL and friends. So starts the collective discussions of what should they do, some say that they should get rid of the clones, some others that they don't have proof for anything nefarious and shouldn't do anything at all, someone points out that they have literally showed up out of nowhere and that it is reasonable to be suspicious. And Connor is also there.
Meanwhile Team Phantom is going about their lives like normal, but with a "I know that you know" mindset, and don't really bother with hiding themselves.
In my opinion the part that has to be the most glaringly noticeable about them should be that Danny (Batman's clone apparently) should wear a lot of flannel and have a "Midwestern Nice" personality" (the stuff of legends I have only heard about in passing) and over all should resemble Clark in fashion sense. For Sam (Superman's clone apparently) the exact opposite - she can put the GOTH in Gotham.
And all JL angst/drama/confusion happens in the background as we follow Connor Kent's/Superboy's POV and him dealing with having two half siblings and the half siblings being together and them having a child and this is too much for him oooooooooo noooooooo nononoonononoonononononno what in the sweeet home Alabama whhhhhyyyyyyyy!??!
So it's like a metronome tick's between the POVs of fluffy new life/potential threat to the JL I mean the child of Bruce/Lex and child Clark/Luis having potential super-smart, super-powered (potentially evil??) children. But overall it's crack.
Maybe I'll plan it out and actually try to write it, but meanwhile you can enjoy my half-ill/fever induced brain worms and play in the brown dirt puddle I call my creative thinking.
To who ever finished reading this
Good night! ;P
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lamentationsofalonelypotato · 6 months ago
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Part 1: It's Not A Big Deal
Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV
Summary: Dean's in for a rude awakening when he finds out exactly what you did when you got stranded in another universe.
Tropes: Fluff, Frenemies (Dean and the Reader), Awkward Situation, Multiverse Problems.
Word Count: 3.1K (I promise I didn't mean for it to happen)
Warnings: I'm gonna label this 18+ just to be sure. There is some swearing (only a few times), Heated Kiss, Sexual Innuendo, References to Sex/Past Sex (it happens quite a bit). Soldier Boy being Soldier Boy (Everyone knows he’s a warning).
Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!
Internal monologue is in italics and is in first person
Main Masterlist
Series Masterlist
A/N: Okay I know that I should be working on my other fics, but I had this idea after reading an INCREDIBLE fic by @justagirlinafandomworld called "Stranded" for @jacklesversebingo and I couldn't help myself.
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Sam squeals the car into the parking lot of the motel so loud that Dean and you can hear the high pitched scream of rubber on asphalt from your room on the second level.
"If he ruins those tires he's going to pay for them." Dean grumbles under his breath from where he sits at the small wooden table under the window, wiping down his gun with a clean rag. The sunlight that came streaming through dramatized the sharp angles of his jaw and the soft sleepy strands of his hair that still stuck up from when he woke up an hour ago.
"I don't know what his hurry is." You don’t look up from the worn paperback perched in your lap, gently turning the page. "If he's that eager to get back here to tell us something he should have just called."
“Maybe there was a sample sale on hair gel.” Dean laughs at his own joke and you can sense him look up from the gun to try and catch your eye, but you don't raise your gaze from the text.
“That’s pretty brave coming from someone who owns 90% of the products in that bathroom.”
“What? I do not-“
“Really? If I walk in there right now there won’t be seven different half-used deodorant sticks?”
“They’re different smells." Dean says defensively. "And shut up. I don’t comment on how many books you bring with you. Don’t know why you need to shove a million in your bag and then just buy one while you’re here.”
“Because I might not feel like reading the ones I bring. I might want to try something new. And this book,” You wave the book in your hand for emphasis. “Is very good and I don’t have it back at the bunker, and it was only two bucks!"
“But the others ones might be good too. You don’t know.” Dean sighs, looking at you like you're insane. "You just let them sit and rot in your suitcase."
Today was the last day that you would be staying in Louis, Illinois. The current case that the three of you had been working on together had been solved, which meant that the townsfolk were no longer dealing with a zombie outbreak and you were at peace to settle down on your pull out bed with a good book, taking a few moments for yourself.
You desperately needed at least five, but you also wished that you were already back in your room at the bunker.
The bed there didn't have as many springs that stuck into your back at odd angles and didn't squeak whenever you moved an inch. Your inability to find a comfortable position meant that the mattress squeaked all night long and Dean had thrown his pillow at you to make it stop. He hadn’t been pleased when you returned it back to him. Then again, you had hit him in the face with it as hard as you could when you did.
And like hell you were going to give Dean Winchester the satisfaction of sleeping in bed with him. You’d had to do that one time on a hunt where there were no extra rooms and Dean refused to let you sleep on the floor or in his car. He said that you might make it spontaneously combust.  So you'd shared the bed and learned that he was the biggest blanket hog you’d ever met, not to mention when you woke up he was spooning you and you couldn’t be certain, but you thought he had tried to cop a feel at least once.
If anything you’d maybe sleep in Sam’s bed, but the guy was so much bigger than you he took up most of the space, so you were stuck with the pull out couch.
You couldn't wait to be home. You liked going out on cases, but you liked that you had a home now, a space that was only yours, and someplace where you could shut yourself away from the world. And most importantly, away from Dean Winchester, who had been the bane of your existence since the night you met him for the first time.
Of course this wasn't too bad either. Taking a few moments of quiet for yourself while Dean cleaned his guns and sorted some of his tools in his duffle. The two of you were getting more comfortable around one another. When you’d first met there had been a lot of screaming and several "she's not going to be there is she?" and "what the hell is she doing here?" questions that Dean moaned to Sam over and over the more the three of you teamed up.
You weren't used to working with other people, well, now you were,  but before it had just been you and the endless road. But as it began to happen more and more you tried to fit comfortably into the swing of things. Dean and you would occasionally bump heads, but it happened less now than it did before. After five years you'd hoped that the two of you could be more civilized, for Sam's sake at least.
Sam and you got along much better. You didn't understand what Dean's problem was with you, or why he hated you so much. He was always correcting you, insulting you, and snatching things away from you as if you hadn't been hunting your entire life. Occasionally it wasn't that bad, like right now, but it had been much worse a few years ago.
When you'd met Dean you'd hated him, thought he was a dick, but the more the two of you spent time together on cases the more you saw that he did those things to hide what he was feeling and the more you saw how big his heart was.
You believed that your relationship now with him had progressed to a sort of symbiotic relationship, but honestly it was more like passive aggressive roommates who fight over whose turn it is to clean the dishes.
Dean still tended to get high and mighty sometimes and annoyed you without end, but you stuck around and in Sam's words "bickered like an old couple."
Sam had gone to grab some snacks and fill the tank at the gas station down the street twenty minutes ago, leaving with a joyful "Don't kill each other."
So far there were no casualties, but apart of you itched to beam Dean in the back of the head with the paperback just for a little bit of excitement.
Sam bursts into the room out of breath. "Okay I-"
"Where's the fire Sammy?" Dean sighs looking up from his gun.
"I ran into someone when I was at the gas station." Sam says it all together, as if it's one sentence.
"And?" You move your hand in a come on gesture hoping that Sam will get to the point.
"Well he's- he's-"
The man that pushes into the room past Sam is not Dean, he looks like him, but that's not why he's so familiar. He's muscular with dark brown hair that hangs a little longer than Dean's, over the top of his ears, while a few strands fall forward on his forehead. He's allowed a dark beard to cover his cheeks, but his eyes are the same piercing green that they were the last time you saw him. And if that wasn't enough for you to recognize him, the dark green superhero suit would be a dead giveaway.
Oh shit.
"Ben?" You drop your book onto the thick carpeted floor in surprise.
Two months ago you had been unwillingly transported to another reality, a reality where superheroes were real, people had powers, and where you met a version of Dean that you actually got along with better than the Dean in your reality.
You hadn't told Sam or Dean what happened between Ben and you. You weren't about to admit out loud that you actually got along with another version of Dean or admit that you found the other version of Dean aka Ben, attractive. So attractive in fact that you had spent a good amount of the time in the other universe in bed with him before you came back to your reality.
Ben doesn't respond, instead he crosses the room in several powerful strides, and hauls you up off the pull out couch.
"What are you-"
One of his hands tangles in the back of your hair, pulling your mouth against his in a furious kiss that steals your breath away and silences whatever you were going to say next. A part of you registers that Dean and Sam are still in the room, but it's quickly swept away by how it feels to kiss Ben. You hadn't forgotten him, anything but that. Sometimes you actually kind of missed him, when you were lonely or when the Dean from your universe annoyed you too much. Because Ben annoyed you too, but at least at the end of it there was a way to relieve the tension. With Dean the only place you put all your frustration was into the hunt and there were only so many times you could bash a Djinn’s head in.
Ben's tongue brushes against your bottom lip, begging for entrance, and you let him in, bringing your hands up to the back of his neck to thread into the long strands of his hair. The strands fall between your fingertips, feathering out from your grip. You moan softly into his mouth as he deepens the kiss, feeling the familiar scratch of his beard against your cheeks, and feel his hand begin to slip down your back to rest on the curve of your ass.
Well, he certainly hasn't changed.
"Fuck I missed you sweetheart." Ben murmurs against your mouth squeezing your butt to emphasize the point. "You and this sexy fucking body."
"Ben." You roll your eyes with a snort.
"What? You didn't miss me?" He raises an eyebrow, forcing his mouth into an attractive pout. "Because you certainly seemed happy to see me a second ago." His free hand gently traces your plump lower lip with the pad of your thumb.
"I did and I am happy to see you, but what are you doing here?"
"Thought so." Ben leans his head back down towards yours, ignoring your question as he tries to kiss you again, but before he can Dean interrupts.
"What the fuck is going on?" Dean shouts, standing from the table under the window, and points his gun at Ben's unprotected back. "Who the fuck are you?"
Ben half turns over his shoulder eyes flicking from the gun to Dean with a sigh. "Look the only thing that's gonna do is piss me off. And you don't want that kid."
Dean makes a face. "Who the hell are you calling kid?"
"Now why don't you two fuck off for a few hours, let me give her a proper hello." Ben turns his dark eyes back on you, cupping your chin in his large hand.
"Y/n? You want to tell us what's happening? Or who this guy is?" Sam asks, but you can't look away from Ben.
You really had missed him. Ben was even more attractive than you remembered. The day that you'd left his universe, Ben had asked you to stay, well, had asked you in his own way. He'd said that he wasn't done with you and if you had stayed he would have made it worth your while. But you had to come back. You weren’t sure how Dean and Sam would survive without you and also because the universe that Ben inhabited was more terrifying than yours, and that was saying something, given that you dealt with demons on a daily basis.
"Guys this is Ben." You clear your throat. "Ben this is Dean and Sam."
"Ben as in Soldier Boy? From the fucked up reality with the people with superpowers Ben?" Dean sputters. He lowered the gun slightly, but he's still looking from Ben to you like he's just walked in on his parents making out.
"Yes." You say it slowly, trying to find a way out, but there really isn't any way to hide this.
It's not that big a deal, is it?
Ben releases you and turns to look at Dean, eyes skating over his body. "So that's Dean?" He tilts his head to the side. "Kinda scrawny. The way you described him made me think he'd look a little more like a man and less like a fucking pussy."
"What the fuck did you just say to me?" Dean takes a step towards Ben, holding his gun steady out from his chest. You noticed that Dean did try to puff it out more after Ben's insult.
"You heard me." Ben smirks, welcoming the challenge.
"Whoa!" You step between them. "Calm down ladies there's enough Prada to go around at this sample sale."
Ben's eyes narrow in confusion at your comment, but he doesn't back down from Dean.
"I'd say that you left a few details out of your trip!" Dean shouts looking from Ben to you in disgust. "Did you sleep with me?"
"What?" You look at him like he’s crazy.
What does he mean?
"You, and him." Dean gestures wildly with the gun. "Did you sleep with me?"
"What are you talking about? No I didn't sleep with you, I slept with him and it was only once!" You shout back.
Ben clears his throat.
"Fine. A few times.” You correct with a sigh.
“But- you- him-“ Dean’s head turns from Ben to you. “Him- you-.”
“Yeah. Me and her fucked.” Ben says it slowly like Dean is a child.
Honestly he was acting a little bit like a child.
Sam is holding back his laughter behind a hand while Dean’s eye begins to twitch aggressively.
This is exactly why I didn’t tell him. They aren’t the same person! Dean is Dean and Ben is Ben. Someone who shares the same face. And probably the same other things that I’m not going to think about right now because that seems crazy.
"How many times is a few?” Dean demands.
"Why does that matter?”
"HOW MANY?" He shouts so loud that you think the people in the next room over were probably having a wonderful time listening to this soap opera.
Because it kinda did sound like one right? The main character never gets along with someone and then gets transported to another reality through a colorful portal and immediately clicks with another version of him. And-
Maybe I need to rethink my life.
"Well..." Your face scrunched up trying to count exactly how many times that you and Ben had sex. It was difficult. Not that it was hard to remember, you knew that you weren’t going to forget it anytime soon, but just the amount of times the two of you were together was more than you could count on your fingers.
"Well what? You were there for five days!"
"I mean..." You shrug.
“Why?” Dean groans pinching the bridge of his nose as if trying to scrub the images from his brain.
Honestly, if he’d told you that he had sex with another version of you, you probably would have had the same reaction, but you were not about to admit that to Dean Winchester of all people.
He’s not gonna win this argument. Especially not when he's waving his gun around like a psychopath.
“Because he's-“ You  glance over at Ben who winks at you. “I don’t know. He’s just kinda-.”
“Everything you’re not.” Ben raises his eyebrow at Dean.
“Sammy you gonna weigh in on this?” You look at Sam expectantly hoping that he can jolt Dean out of the never ending loop he seemed to be stuck in.
“Nope. I’m staying out of it.” Sam holds his hands up in surrender.
“I cannot believe you slept with me!” Dean shouts again.
“Stop saying that! I didn’t sleep with you! I slept with him. Can we please move on-“ You groan.
"Same thing!"
"What? How is it the same thing?” You plant your hands on your hips glaring at Dean.
"He's me from another universe!" Dean is gesturing wildly with his gun now. “How would you feel if I slept with an alternate version of you?”
“It’s completely different!”
“How?”
“They aren’t us!”
“He sure as hell looks like me!" Dean snaps back. "What did you close your eyes the whole time or something?"
Your cheeks flare bright red with Dean's question. "No I didn't!"
“And I don’t look like you.” Ben grunts crossing his arms over his chest and giving Dean a once over again.
“He also doesn’t act like you.” You add.
It was true, Ben didn’t. And for some reason you got along with him more. You didn’t understand what Dean’s problem was, but for the better part of five years he’d been treating you like you hadn’t been hunting your whole life. Not to mention the first three years were spent with Dean barely saying two words to you without some kind of insult attached.
“That’s beside the point!”
“How is that beside the point?” You demand.
“I can’t believe you did this!”
"I didn't kill anyone Dean. I didn't torture any babies or kill any puppies. We are consenting adults! We had sex-"
“No no no!” Dean puts his fingers in his ears. “Lalalalala.” He sings to himself to avoid the image.
"And we're gonna have it again. So the two of you should clear out, unless you're in to that kind of thing Deanie.” Ben wraps his arm around your shoulders to pull you into him, but you don’t take your eyes off of Dean.
“Fuck I’m gonna need so much therapy after this” Dean groans putting the gun down on the table. Which was a good sign because now you weren’t worried that he would accidentally shoot Sam in the foot.
“Really? After everything you’ve gone through that’s what pushes you over the edge?” You ask him in shock.
“Yes. Are you happy? You’ve driven me to the point of insanity!” Dean snaps.
"You're acting like a child."
"I am not! I am having a completely normal reaction to finding out you slept with Wannabe Captain America!” Dean gestures to all of Ben who looks at Dean like he can’t tell if it’s an insult or not. 
You take in a deep breath to calm your racing heart. “Why are you so upset that I slept with him Dean? I don’t understand how this is so earth shattering to you that two people had sex! You have sex with people all the time-“
“Not with you!”He snaps back, but then clears his throat when he realized what he just said.
“He is not YOU!” You shout rolling your eyes for the millionth time. At the rate he was going, you were sure they were going to roll out of your head. 
“As important as this conversation is… can we maybe put a pin in it and go back to why he’s here?” Sam asks diplomatically.
“No-“ Dean says at the same time you say.
“Yes! Ben why are you here?”
“Don’t really know.” He shrugs taking a long hit from a joint that seemed to materialize out of thin air, while tightening his arm over your shoulders. “All I know was that I was fighting Homelander and someone hit me from behind. Then I ended up here.” Ben’s eyes trace your body. “But I’m not complaining, especially not because I got to see you again doll.” He winks.
“Homelander?” Dean repeats. “That is the stupidest hero name I’ve ever heard in my entire life.”
“He’s anything but a hero.” You fight the shudder from the last time you ran in to him. “Think about Superman if Superman was a narcissistic sadist with a massive inferiority complex, no weakness, and an obsession with perfect hair.”
Dean looks Ben up and down with a heavy sigh. “I’m disappointed that I couldn’t have at least been a bit more like Batman.”
“Trust me. You don’t want to meet knockoff Batman from his reality either.” You respond.
"I guess I'll start doing some research." Sam says slowly, looking from Ben to you while hiding a smile.
He’s enjoying this way too much.
"Good." Dean frowns at Ben, before he claps him hard on the shoulder. You saw Dean fight the wince when he felt how solid Ben was. "Let's get you home buddy." His eyes dart from Ben to you. "Before you do anything else that'll scar me for life."
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Thank you so much for reading! Likes, Comments, and Reblogs are not required, but are always appreciated! 😊
Taglist: @roseblue373 @mrsjenniferwinchester
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enkvyu · 2 years ago
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7:02pm — gojo satoru ; part two to this imagine
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"gojo, your hair is in my mouth."
"you're lucky i washed it a few days ago."
you peer up at him over your phone. "a few days? how many? gojo, tell me."
gojo hums to himself and you hate that it might be serious consideration that he's under. "like maybe seven?"
you gag, flailing at your mouth and spitting out the few strands. you faintly hear gojo complain but it's overridden as you deal with your dilemma.
the two of you were curled inside the stomach of one of getou's curses as it flew across the ocean to arrive back at jujutsu high. the cramped space and gooey flesh makes you shiver, effectively increasing your poor mood, but perhaps the biggest detriment was the person you were stuck with.
sure, public transport was a viable option but yaga had specifically emphasised on the "top-secret" and "classified" written in big bold red letters on the mission file. this meant no one was to know, not ordinary people, not curses and not even other sorcerers.
granted, the school had access to one private jet which they were willing to offer, but that jet only had space for one.
the three of you had sat down and played a game of scissors paper rock to determine who takes it, and while you were lucky to win it for the trip forward, getou ends up victorious for the way back.
and now, you were stuck in close proximity with gojo inside the gut of a flying dragon.
"why are you in such a bad mood anyway?" gojo has the audacity to ask, as if he wasn't the sole reason why you were uncomfortable. you keep your mouth shut though, nothing good will come out of admitting your undying, and unfortunately unrequited, love for him.
"i'm in a perfectly fine mood."
"why do you look like that then, all constipated and everything? did you not go to the bathroom before we left?"
you curl your fingers into a fist and punch him in the chest. it hits his uniform, smearing some of the curses' stomach juice. "of course i did! i'm not a newbie sorcerer."
"ouch!"
"that didn't hurt you."
"how are you going to tell me how i feel?" gojo jabs back. "because it did hurt, it hurt my feelings."
"oh boohoo."
"so you are mad."
you bite your lip and turn away, finding the abdominal wall of the beast easier on the eyes than your own friend. "i'm not."
"you're sulking."
"i'm not." you hiss before taking in a deep breath. "look gojo, can we just stay quiet until we get there?"
gojo keeps staring at you through his glasses and his face fails to give his thoughts away. the suspense is killing you, but before you can relent and ask what he has to say, he clears his throat.
"i have something to tell you."
you sigh, rubbing at your head. "what is it?"
"wait, don't turn around and keeping looking at the wall. hey, what did i just say?"
"gojo, the view isn't really the best to sightsee. why can't i look at you?"
"because if you do, i don't think i can tell you after all."
you close your mouth. "is it that serious?"
"yeah." he clears his throat again, adjusting the collar of his uniform. "look, i know you've been weird around me the past few days and i don’t think it’s because i stretched out your uniform when i wore it last weekend. i don't know why you’re being mean to me, and shoko and getou won't tell me either."
you resist the urge to look at him. "you're having this kind of talk with me now? here? seriously?"
"you won't even stay in the same room as me for more than a few minutes! getou may call this curse his bad-luck curse but for me right now it's the only way to get you to listen to me." he stays quiet for a few seconds. "this is really serious, okay, so don't make any comments. i know you're practically brimming with them."
it was true you had a lot to say, but gojo's serious attitude was putting you off. still, having him call you out made you more aggravated and you let one slip. "well, this is really bad-luck for me."
gojo clicks his tongue and you can see the irritation on his face before his words are even coloured with it. "i'm not telling you this so you can feel the same way but—"
the curse suddenly tilts to the side, throwing you into gojo as the four walls of its stomach becomes a wheel, rotating you around. you yelp as your forehead hits him hard in the chest, tears springing to your eyes at the pain.
“what’s going on?”
the two of you spin round and round, and you can't distinguish your screams from gojo's as gravity plays you like a toy, throwing you around.
the movement makes you sick. "gojo, do something! blast it!"
"getou'll get mad if i kill another one of his curses!"
"are you kidding, we're going to die!"
gojo swears, grabbing you around the waist and pulling you into his chest. with his other arm, he holds out his hand and presses it on the flesh.
you tuck your chin in, squeezing your eyes shut when you realise he hadn't started chanting his technique. "what are you doing?" you look up at him and find him staring at the exit of the stomach through all the goo and chaos.
with a trembling finger, he points to it. you stare into the abyss, squinting your eyes to make out its indistinct shapes. what was that pulsing thing, attached to the side? and was it just you, but was it getting bigger?
with a start, you realise that the curse was about to throw up. and coincidentally, so were you.
"it's going to throw us up!" you share your realisation with gojo but the look on his face tells you he already arrived at the same thought.
he opens his mouth to say something, or scream you're not too sure as the walls of the stomach contracts. distantly, you feel gojo slide his other arm around you and his infinity takes over, shielding the two of you as you're forcefully ejected from the curse's mouth.
a scream escapes your throat as you escape the curse's, wind rushing through your ears. gojo swears again, bringing his arm up to protect your head.
you only know you're safe when you feel air again, the real kind, not the gas built up in the curse's stomach. a thud tells you gojo has landed on solid ground again and you've never felt more grateful to be alive, your entire body relaxing as your soul leaves.
gojo sighs with you, his hold slightly loosening.
getou watches as you're spat out, stepping out of the private jet with a big smile on his face. "you guys look rough."
you feel gojo tense his jaw rather than see it. "what was that for?"
getou shrugs, throwing a bag over his shoulder. he starts digging through it. "i told you that curse is some serious bad-luck. at least you both arrived in one piece.” he looks up and raises an eyebrow at you. “literally in one piece, are you guys going to stay like that forever?"
your mind slowly pieces together your position, still curled up in gojo's arms as he is sat on the pavement, before you leapt out. gojo makes no move to stop you, though you think he might have tsked.
"here, this is for you." getou finally pulls out what he was searching for from his bag and throws it at the two of you.
you catch it instinctively, studying the object in your hand. "a can of soda?"
"for surviving."
"that curse of yours is a safety hazard." you mutter, but accept the can. you crack open the lid and tilt your head back, taking a long, cool sip.
gojo stares down at the drink. "i told you i don't like this flavour!" he complains and you roll your eyes at his antics.
"then don't drink it."
"no. give me your one instead."
getou pauses, halfway to opening his own iced coffee. "huh? i got this for me. and you don't even like coffee! you should be glad i even got one for you in the first place."
"let's play a game of rock paper scissors to decide who gets it."
"no. i just told you i got this for me."
gojo stands up, taking a step forward menacingly. "huh? after what you put me through, you think i'm just going to take no for an answer?"
getou's eyes flicker to yours before he takes up gojo's challenge, activating his cursed technique. black liquid opens up the air beside him, a peering red eye on the other side. "can't handle rejection, gojo? because you better get used to it."
you take another sip as you watch the boys, absentmindedly wiping at a stain on your sleeve. you remember the feeling of gojo's arm around your body and you blush despite yourself.
"are you feeling sick?"
you look up to see that gojo had stopped fighting with getou, his entire attention on you.
"huh?"
"you're red in the face. you look like a tomato."
ignoring the last part, you hide your face behind your drink. "i'm fine."
getou looks between the two of you and there's a glint in his eyes that you've seen before, one that you've grown to dread.
he throws back the rest of his coffee, grimacing as it gives him a slight brain freeze, before crushing the can in his hand. gojo mutters a quick, "show off" that he ignores, instead chucking the can into a bin a few metres away.
"what a time." he starts saying, the words static. "that was great. well, now that i've finished my drink, i should head back inside."
“i should head in too. i smell real bad.” you sigh and give gojo a glare when he agrees.
“actually, can the two of you stay here? i think my curse isn’t feeling too well after eating you two. just until i come back, okay?”
you think there might be an ulterior motive but glancing over at the curse, you find that it did look greener than before.
"where are you going, and for how long?" you ask and hope the look in your eyes will make him stay.
"i need to tell yaga we finished the mission. you guys can just stay here, i've got it." then to you, he says, clenching his fist in support, "you got this."
you want to break his arm.
getou hurries away despite your silent plea, leaving you in an awkward silence with the one person you wanted to avoid most. you take multiple quick sips to busy yourself, but you can’t ignore the person standing by your side.
gojo shifts his balance to his other foot and the sound of his shoe against the pavement breaks the silence. "so."
"so."
"it's really bright, huh."
"you're wearing sunglasses."
"and do they completely cover my eyes? no they don't. i can still complain about the sun."
"just push your glasses up then."
"no." gojo huffs. "i look cooler this way."
"who told you that? because i know for a fact it wasn't anyone whose opinion actually matters." you jab back.
"your mum said that, actually."
"are you a child?"
"what, are you too cool for old jokes? they're iconic for a reason."
"and there's a reason why 'your mum jokes' died and should stay that way."
the natural way in which you banter with gojo gives you confidence. maybe it didn't matter that you liked him, or that he didn't like you back. it was enough that he was here with you now, joking around. perhaps you could even live with knowing that your unrequited love had come to an end, perhaps you could even pair them up yourself without a sense of bitter jealousy.
"i know you like getou." gojo says in one breath.
the peace you had come to, shatters.
"what?" you say in an inhale, and it comes out sounding weird.
gojo pouts, crossing his arms. "i'm right, aren't i? you like getou. i heard what you were saying to shoko that one time."
"don't eavesdrop on other people's conversations!"
"you were saying it pretty loudly, what was i meant to do? shut my ears?"
you wave away his whining. "stop, hold on. you think i like getou?"
gojo nods. "i don't think you do, i know. you said you like people like him."
"when did i ever say that? also, i'm not the one who likes getou, you are!"
"what?"
"what, what? you do, don't you? you told me yesterday that you liked getou."
"i never said that!"
"then who were you talking about?"
"who were you thinking about?" gojo shoots back. "because you didn't even hesitate when you explained your type to shoko. you were thinking of someone, weren't you?"
you gulp. "i asked first."
he looks at you long and hard and you stare back at your reflection through his glasses. his mouth opens and there's a mixed sense of dread and anticipation brewing in your stomach.
"tch."
"did you just click your tongue at me?"
gojo faces away. his jaw is tense as he blatantly ignores your question. "you're really annoying."
"huh? speak for yourself!"
"you have a problem with me?"
"i have a problem with your stupid attitude."
when gojo closes the distance between the two of you, you take a step back out of instinct. it doesn't matter though because gojo steps forward again, pushing you up against the curse getou had left behind. he slams a hand into the flesh of the curse and it makes a startled sound. the both of you ignore it. "it's you, idiot, i like—"
the force behind his slam is frightening, but the thought is torn from you when the sound of regurgitation grabs your attention. with a start, you turn around at the curse and find your phone on the ground at the entrance of the curse's mouth, covered in goo.
"my phone!" you exclaim, bending down to pick it up.
gojo backs up and groans loudly, but you don't care, wincing instead when the item is sticky.
"i didn't even know i lost this! thanks gojo, i think." your voice trails off wearily, holding up the phone and watching as viscous liquid slowly drips off it.
gojo rubs his face with his palm and you wonder why he looks so distressed. "that curse is seriously bad luck." meeting your eye, he points a finger at you. "listen to what i have to say!"
you raise your eyebrow at him. "damn okay, gojo's arrived." you mutter, wiping down the phone and pocketing it.
the clouds overhead parts, sunlight shining down in rays. the trees whistle in the summer breeze and light filters through the gaps in the leaves and branches. it hits gojo perfectly, adorning him in a golden light and you've never seen him so beautiful. guilt fills you at the thought and you hold your soda tighter.
he breathes in one more time. "i don't care that you like getou." he says. "because it doesn't matter to me. it just means i have to work harder to change your mind and get you to notice me instead."
"it's kind of hard to not notice you." you say. "i mean, look at what you're wearing."
gojo hisses. "don't ruin the mood, you're throwing me off. like i was saying, it's not your fault you like getou but i had to tell you this anyway, because it's been making my heart feel all prickly and stuff. so shut up and just stand there looking pretty, or whatever." his last few words trail off uncertainly, as if he never intended to say them at all.
"what are you even saying?" your heart picks up. was he about to confess?
"i'm saying that i think i like—"
"there you guys are!"
your head whips around at the voice, scanning the familiar landscape before settling on a single person. shoko stands metres away, waving a hand to grab your attention. "over here!"
"shoko!" a grin splits across your face. "i haven't seen you all day!"
"am i interrupting something?" she yells to get her voice across the distance.
you don't even look over at gojo as you shake your head. you had a feeling he was just going to tell you something you already knew, that he liked getou, anyway. “no! hold on, i'm coming over."
before you can run up to her, gojo grabs your arm, a deep frown etched on his face. "wait, you still haven't—!"
without another thought, you hand him your half-finished can of soda and wriggle out of his hold. "you can have the rest of that. i'll hear you out later, okay?"
"but the mood was so right!"
"look after the curse until getou’s back, later!"
gojo stands there in front of the bad-luck curse, one arm limp by his side and the other holding a can of blue soda. he watches as you fling yourself into shoko's arm, already listing all the things you've been saving up to tell her.
there's that prickly feeling again, gojo realises, noting the way the sun lightens the shade of your hair, the way your eyes curve up as you smile, and the way you hold onto shoko's hand, wishing that he had enough courage to hold yours.
defeated, battered and drained, gojo looks down at the can in his hand, and notes the slight lipstick stain on the rim.
with a red on his cheeks that didn't come from the sun, he presses the aluminium to his lips and takes a sip. it tastes sweet.
gojo decides that he'll just have to settle for this.
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i hope this was okay considering i had no intentions of writing a part two. sorry for all the descriptions of stomachs and throw up, i was studying the digestive system 👎 if this isn’t what u guys expected feel free to leave a request !!
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alilarew23 · 1 year ago
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assign yourself a new role
i know people can find states of consciousness a bit confusing, so here's a super simple exercise you can do to locate (and then be and persist in) your ideal self.
imagine somebody comes to you and says you can be anybody, instantly. you think--in terms of manifestation--well, i want to manifest my SP, so i guess that means i want to be SP's girlfriend?
ok, but what does that mean? what does that look like for you? what does that feel like?
well, i want my SP lovingly obsessed with me, spoiling me, blowing up my phone 24/7, buying me flowers and gifts and a ring, taking me on all sorts of fancy dates and trips, racing home to me at the end of the work day...
ok, so your new identity is "obsessed over, spoiled girlfriend."
i want you to imagine, now, you're on a movie set, and the director comes to you and says, "your job is to be THE obsessed over, spoiled girlfriend. i'm not giving you any lines, though. i'm not telling you how to dress or how to act. you gotta adlib, you gotta do it now, and you gotta keep doing it. that's it. that's the task."
you say ok, and you feel a switch go off within you, right?
you're no longer the person who's obsessively manifesting an SP. no. your SP is chasing you. you cannot get this man to stop texting you. you're thinking, "oh my god. he is such a simp for me, it's almost funny. he'll do anything he can to spend every second with me." you get home from shopping and--he left flowers on your doorstep? and a note? holy shit. your SP wrote you a love poem?!!?! and bought you tickets to ITALY?!
you probably feel...different...in your body, too. energetically. much more secure, powerful, maybe even sensual, a bit savage. focused on yourself and your goals, other areas of your life like friendships and work. all that neediness and yearning and pain just--dissipated. you're no longer the desirer. you're the desired.
feels good, doesn't it?
well, you just shifted your state.
that all took place in imagination, but it felt real because...spoiler alert...it is real.
you're not imagining to become.
you imagine and you are.
instantly.
so you continue imagining. not because you want to "get" your SP (though you will, by law), but because "obsessed over, spoiled girlfriend" is the identity you've chosen, and you love being her. it feels right to you, natural, effortless, authentic. feels like who you are, like your truth.
(also, you don't want to get fired by the movie director, who is the most badass person alive...oh, right, that's you, too).
this applies to anything, and doesn't need to be a singular identity. you can be "obsessed over, spoiled girlfriend" and "rich as fuck powerhouse crossfit champion of the world" and "the most sought after dog walker in all the land" and "baker extraordinaire" and "bestselling author with a three-book deal." these are all just states of consciousness, and your ideal self is all you assume you are, all wrapped in one.
have FUN.
be because it feels good, because it's true, because it's you.
your world will--because it must--re-shape itself around you.
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hamsternella · 6 months ago
Note
maybe headcanons of Bill Cipher being obsessed with us for being Ford's wife, but at first he feels jealous and gradually that changes as he finds we have equal things (e.g. we are blind, and that makes Bill start to want to get more intimate with us as he has with Ford because he finds that we have also been despised/put aside because of that difference), and maybe he wants to make a deal with us but we refuse out of loyalty to Ford and that makes Bill jealous- but now of Ford, not of us lmao sorry if that is confusing or too specific.
Are you going to write any Gravity Falls fanfic on the side? I've seen your poll and I'm very excited
HELLO, and no problem. Here it is, I hope you like it.
As for the fanfic, I do plan to write one. Actually, it's in drafts; I just need to correct what I have written. I don't know if I should make it long or cut it and put it in chapters.
PART TWO
Bill Cipher being obsessed with you [headcanon]
cw: fem!reader, non-con touching, possessed body, jealousy, maybe a bit of ooc(?
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The reason Bill begins to feel his plan is threatened is because of you. As much as Ford has him on a pedestal, you are still the main reason for his early accomplishments. The special person who has been with him since his college discovery years.
You're not like McGucket; your judgment carries paramount weight in Ford's most decisive decisions. You're not a mentally dazzling woman, not like him, but your claws keep you firmly entrenched behind Sixer's back. Bill repudiates that—it makes no sense at all!
As if that weren't enough, the affair culminates with you being blind. Can there be anything much more repugnant than a romance fueled by misfortune? Ford is drawn to your sincere heart, and you support him unconditionally because beyond your husband's obsession, your love for him seems to break down the most terrifying walls. And how can you be afraid of something you can no longer see?
Bill feels he has the enemy breathing behind his back. For the first time he thinks he can't solve everything with a kick to the rock in the middle of the road.
The closest thing to a tantrum you get from him —unknowingly— are regular nightmares, a weak body and constant paranoia about unfamiliar sounds and sensations. Your home is suddenly a new world; frightening and strange. Because of this you become clumsy and unpredictable, and even your husband doesn't understand what it is that has you so off track.
Bill can't use his influence on your reality at all, but through Ford and other extensions, as well as fine print manipulations, he manages to reach you without arousing suspicion.
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''I've told you many times, Bill,'' sighed Ford with his back turned, both hands placed on his journal. ''I don't think I can go through with this completely until I manage to find a way to help my wife.''
''Isn't this a sign that it's time to get her out of your way?''
"Excuse me?’’ The man turned his attention to the demon; his eyes laden with bitterness and desolation. ''What do you mean by that? I can't abandon my wife, Cipher—she would never do something like that to me.''
''Well,'' Bill chuckled, ''it's not like she's really done anything for you all this time. This project is our thing, Fordsy, and it shouldn't be interrupted by a little stumble that doesn't even belong to us. Or are you going to give up everything you've sacrificed for this?''
''You have understood me like no other, Bill; I admit that there is no person or creature existing on this planet who can do all that you have done for me,'' admitted Ford solemnly. ''But she's my wife—she's been around even before you, when I was nobody. When I had nothing. And even when I came to Gravity Falls and left everything behind she was always there. Bill, I... I can't, I'm sorry.''
Bill held back another complaint, beginning to notice that things were not working out the way he had wanted. Your clumsiness didn't kill Ford's patience or control, but what little sanity —if any— there was in him. It was humiliating; Bill Cipher losing to a human being, a random woman—blind, to make it worse.
The demon was beginning to withdraw in on himself, frustration rising to anger, when Ford's voice from the entrance to the room drew his gaze back. There was a different gleam in his companion's, and Cipher understood with annoyance where the conversation would end up now.
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Your husband introduces you to the possible solution to all your problems: Mr. Cipher, a doctor and close friend of Stanford. A mysterious man with a booming voice that makes your hair stand on end, but at the end of the day a man of studies and degrees. Of course you were going to trust your husband's recommendation.
''What a coincidence that you happened to be passing by, sir! Thank you for offering to help me. That's very kind of you.''
Bill starts pretending to be your personal doctor in search of a miracle solution to your problems. It's not hard to avoid contact with you to hide the truth; Ford tries hard to keep the situation straight.
If the demon hated you before, now you better start praying.
Cipher understands that he needs to play along with Ford if he wants the project to stay on track, even if that means starting to help you heal while containing his desire to get rid of you.
Maybe if he possessed Stanford and took advantage of you during your naps.
Maybe.
But he knows better than that—Ford isn't stupid. Not stupid enough, at least.
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It was humiliating to have to take care of what he himself had caused, but it's not as if Bill could afford any other way to get back on the project. Ford was all he had. Where was he going to get someone else capable enough? This had been fate; interrupted at the last minute by the appearance of a bad third. This was all your fault. Blind little rat—woman busybody with a sweet smile and giggly voice. Cipher understood why Sixer was where he was with you, on the one hand. On the other it was all the same: a whim that cost dearly. Who needed someone like you? What was the benefit? Sex, maybe? But Bill Cipher was a thousand times better than something so banal! Please…
Bill rolled his eye, snapping his fingers to undo the nightmare you were in. As soon as your dream was undone you let out an exclamation of surprise, jumping on the bed. You brought a hand to your face, feeling the sweat, and almost immediately moved your body to where he lay. Cipher held back surprise, finding himself genuinely intrigued.
''Doctor,'' you whispered hoarsely, ''good afternoon. I... Forgive me, I think I fell asleep—it was sudden, I don't know what came over me...''
''Did you know it was me here with you?''
The smile you gave him threw him off. A ''Well, yes, isn't it very obvious?'' kind of grimace.
''Does your husband know that you have these nightmares during our therapies?''
'Therapies' sounded fancy, but it was shorthand for the tortures Bill forced you to go through; a theater of supposed recovery to cover up his need to hurt you.
“He doesn't know, doctor. I haven't told him, if I'm honest,'' you replied. ''Please don't tell him anything.''
''It would be unethical!''
‘’Pretending to be a doctor is also unethical, sir,’’ you laughed. ''I am blind, not stupid.’’
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Killing you was going to be the only solution to all of this—although from that day on nothing else ever happened.
Bill has to accept that you have a lot of tricks up your sleeve. You're not just any woman anymore; being Ford's wife had to have been warning enough for him.
You continue to not remind him of his charade and allow him to continue 'treating' you, while your husband resumes the plans for the portal.
Surprisingly, Bill seems to have found interest in something much more striking.
You.
The nightmares subside, your mood and judgment improve, and Cipher finds a strange pleasure in this new side of you: much more alert, more talkative and wittier. You have your charm.
But it's your husband who pulls the reins. Bill gets it right away.
Evenings with you aren't exactly revelatory like they are with Ford, who always has enough data and information to surprise everyone with. With you it's different; it's something much more intimate and almost forgotten by Bill. He knows so much that it would be impossible to be taken by surprise—but you manage to do it.
He is overcome with a nostalgic and unpleasant feeling, but which ironically keeps him alive as he decides to lie to Ford.
Bill doesn't want to let you go. It's strange. Maybe he got used to another glaring presence besides Sixer? Torturing you a little more in silence to keep you under his care should not be a stupid thing to do at all.
Cipher encounters another particular feeling: curiosity. He needs to know why you know what you know; and what it is, above all else, that keeps you here.
What keeps you with so much power over him, Bill Cipher.
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''Are you saying that I have tricks up my sleeve? I don't get it, doctor...''
''Oh! Oh, please,'' Bill interrupted, thunderous laughter bouncing across the room. ''You know I'm no doctor; the title is ridiculous.''
''Should I call you 'Mr. Cipher' instead?''
Bill held back a sigh, rubbing his eye for a moment before orbiting around you. If you had noticed, you didn't say or do anything. Your eyes, white as opaque pearls, remained fixed on a corner of the room.
''Since when did you know I wasn't a doctor? No, better yet, since when did you know I wasn't human?''
''Well, it's not quite like that either,'' you replied under a soft laugh. ''You just revealed to me that you are not human. As for the doctor thing... Well, don't take this the wrong way, but I don't think that dream therapies and transverse snoring with citrus scent induction while dipping my feet in spoiled milk is something a professional would recommend.''
Bill pretended not to be offended.
''Besides that,'' you continued, ''I know my husband very well. I know that he hides dangerous things down there, where I cannot reach by myself, just as I know everything that has been happening is not the product of chance.''
''Did you know all this time that your nightmares and fears have been my doing?''
‘’No, not really. You just confessed it to me.''
‘’Oh, come on!’’ Bill shook his fists in the air, abruptly remembering that you couldn't see him. It was strange, you seemed to know the world you inhabited even though your eyes wouldn't let you. The thought made the demon orbit around you again, returning in front of you. Opaque pearls; gaze lost in the open. "I've had a majestic revelation at this very moment! Do you want to hear it, or will your big, bold woman brain let you know in advance what I have to say?”
"I have a slight feeling you don't like me.”
“Yes or no!”
“Of course, tell me.”
"I have to assume you weren't born blind; this must be the product of an accident," Cipher began to say. "That would explain why the hell you do everything you do, and why the fuck you know where I am.”
"That's right, Mr. Cipher," you nodded. "I've had an accident, though I suppose you know that because you've infiltrated me. Either that, or my husband told you.”
"So you did know that I'm a demon?”
“You just—”
“Oh, shut up! Don't fucking say it again.”
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Your coexistence with Bill becomes pleasant, despite the early revelation of his nature and his having been the cause of your misfortunes.
Cipher comes to believe that he may have been wrong; maybe you were stupid after all.
But that would be crazy! Unlike with Ford, with you the feelings are extremely nostalgic and warm. There is no trace of some kind of farce or genuine morbid interest behind your words. You believe everything you say.
Bill, who despite not sleeping or dreaming, being haunted by the memory of screams and an old distorted and flat reality, finds in your company a comfort zone that makes him delirious.
Sadly, your heart and your judgment is still tied to Sixer—as if that brainiac cared at all!
Bill begins to drive Ford crazy; he feeds him extensive knowledge, possesses him more often to enjoy the benefits, and then alters his memories, making it difficult for him to know what is truth and what is a lie.
Where he can no longer meet your needs, Bill is always there to dazzle you.
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You jumped in your seat, feeling your husband's warm hands wrap around your neck. Fingers, rough from machines and dust, caressed your skin awkwardly, drawing a chuckle from you. His breath came to you from above, as if he had just sighed in delight at your reaction. When you felt him rest his hands on your shoulders, you slowly brought one of yours to caress the back of his. You felt him tremble.
''I thought you were sleeping?'' you asked with genuine interest. ''Is everything all right? All these days you've been doing the same thing.''
''Do you mind, beautiful?''
You stifled a laugh.
''No, Ford, your company would never be a bother to me... Are you smelling my hair?''
‘’I just can’t get enough of you.’’
You felt him circle your body, delineating one of the chairs near you so he could relax his body in it. You didn't last long without his hands—as soon as he resumed his seat, you felt his fingers intertwining with yours. This time it was more consistent and comfortable; not like all those days where it seemed like your husband had forgotten how to use his own body.
''Oh, dear! Seeing you with these two orbs of nerves and membrane is amazing! You look even more dazzling.''
Although the comments without any context or sense were still there.
''I'm not that great,'' you said with a small laugh. A little shy. Ford didn't used to give you so many compliments. “How's your project going?’’
‘’That thing? Good, very good. Excellent, my dear! Maybe you could see for yourself—oh, well, you can't,'' he guffawed. ''Right. Whatever! Hey, uh, can I ask you a question?''
‘’Y-Yeah, sure, honey.’’ You cleared your throat. ‘’What’s the matter?’’
''Hypothetical scenario. You're married, but you're not quite fulfilled. Suppose someone comes along who is much better than your husband,'' he explained. ''He's smart, funny, multifunctional, powerful, extra-dimensional, or very soon will be, and also very stylish!'' Silence. Moments later an exclamation. ''Do you have a favorite color? His favorite color is yellow!''
‘’I… I mean, sorry, but I actually don’t understand at all where’s the question.’’
‘’Don’t be silly! Would you leave your husband for this entity—excuse me, for this person?''
‘’What?’’
‘’The heck.’’
Another booming laugh, and though you tried to accompany it with your own, the sound that came from you was choppy and awkward. This exchange was strange.
''I can't find a reason to leave my husband for this so-called mystery person,'' you replied. ''I am supposed to have married him for a reason which should be more than enough. Ford,'' you rushed on, ''is this regarding Mr. Cipher?''
''Why?'' he asked at once. ''Why do you think of him all of a sudden? Do you feel something forbidden about him in this marriage?''
''But of course not!''
''What do you mean ‘no’?!’’
His hands let go of yours. The chair in front of you seemed to be dragged, the wood against the floor squeaking with the sudden friction. The movement had taken you by surprise.
‘’Ford?’’
''Why are you so happy? Why, huh?'' he sighed, frustrated. ''Haven't I abandoned you every night in a freezing bed, while I prefer the company of machines? Cipher has been very kind to you and kept you company!''
''Ford, what are you—wait. Wait a moment... Bill, is this you?'' You covered your mouth, terrified at the discovery. Your companion didn't respond and you simply let out a shaky breath. ''Are you possessing my husband?’’
‘’Damn, that was fast.’’
‘’That’s awful!’’
"There was full consent!" added Bill with a chuckle. "This is a man-to-man thing, my pretty little fleshbag. Something between colleagues, plain and simple. You needn't fear—Bill Cipher is taking care of everything.”
"But it's horrendous anyway!" you exclaimed with your voice splitting. "It all makes sense now... The words, the touches, the way you acted—it was all a sham! You were using my husband!”
"Oh, please, little one. Wasn't it you who dreamed of being able to touch me?”
"You, not a substitute class using Stanford's body! Have you two been doing these kinds of exchanges all along?”
"It's just that there was a change of plans!”
“A change? What—”
“I mean, I tried to kill you; but it's not that easy now,” he laughed.
You tried to calm your breathing. Your heart was beating painfully against your chest, and your whole body was trembling. This wasn't right, obviously. It was like a vivid nightmare.
“Not that I want to do it, of course.”
“Why?” you asked after a long silence.
You felt the presence of your husband's body very close to you. A pair of hands rested on your cheeks, caressing them with his fingers very softly; the touches getting lost under the trembling of your figure when you heard again a sigh of delight. Something was up.
“You know,” he whispered, “I think we could make a deal. A little, pretty one, and just for you.”
“A deal? A deal with a demon, you mean. No, thank you.”
“Oh, come on! It will be fun!”
“And it makes no sense.”
Bill turned away from you, returning to his chair to take a seat across from your body.
"What exactly is it that Ford gives you that I can't manage to satisfy? Because very soon the little project will be complete, and I will have full disposal of many wonderful tricks to take care of you, my dear," he continued. "An eternity together! We'll be able to create and tell thousands of new stories; to travel across the world and let you experience hundreds of new sensations. We'll be unstoppable! Incomparable!”
"That's not the way things work, Bill…”
"Things work because of the strongest. I will soon be the only one with that title.”
"What will happen to Ford?" you asked haltingly. "What will you do to my husband?”
"He's my co-worker, dear.”
"You're hiding something from me.”
"So what if it is? He doesn't matter here! It's our time... You're mine.”
The way your husband's voice was beginning to distort sent a shiver through your body. You loved Ford—you missed him. The idea that you had been kissing the lips of a man possessed a couple of days ago was turning your stomach. Your silence seemed to feed something inside the demon; his voice thundered, totally changed, across the room.
"A few weeks ago you said you missed the stars," added Bill. "The last time you saw them was when you were a teenager. I miss the stars too—the ones I saw with a different eye. It's not the same anymore. Nothing is, since..." Silence. You didn't dare interrupt the creature who seemed to be drowning in bitter memory. It took him a while to pull himself together; a split laugh piercing your ears like an arrow. "Oh, the misery! I thought it repulsive the way you two looked so united over something so pathetic. Anyway, what does the past matter now, what does misery matter! There's no such thing being with Bill Cipher. You'll want for nothing.”
"I refuse, Bill.”
"And I refuse too," he laughed. "See? We can play the same game, silly. I don't recommend testing my patience, though.”
The touch of palms against the warm skin of your neck took you by surprise. The roughness of those fingers you loved so much were now forbidding you to breathe; the softness of moist lips pressing against yours, taking advantage of the way you parted yours to find a sliver of air. You soon struggled against your husband's body, desperate to deny the foreign tongue that flicked unseemly and inexperienced inside you. Bill was drowning in an unfamiliar feeling that felt too good. You were soft, fragile. Your flesh was tender and warm, quivering like an animal about to die—he was going to devour it to the bone. Was this what Ford had been doing with you? You liked it?
He could kill you. He could end your life when the portal was complete; he could take advantage of Ford, as he had been doing all this time, and keep the prize all to himself. Why was it so hard? What was it you had done to him? Was Ford a victim too? The thought burned like a fierce fury at the back of his mind—jealousy once again. The need to own even the crumbs. Ford wouldn't have the right to be your victim anymore. This feeling was too good for that brainiac to understand, surely he never did.
But Bill understood everything. He was incomparable. He could dominate your life and hold the reins as well as Ford had been doing. No. Cipher was going to do better! Did you miss your husband's domination? Bill would be your ruler; he would destroy obstacles and build better ones to keep you in check. Maybe a little training and you'd become a beautiful little bag of flesh and muscle—tight, warm and obedient. And who knows if you'd end up exceeding his expectations! Who knows if a little gift occupying your orbs would give you the chance to enjoy the same star-studded sky together.
"Don't think too much," whispered Bill pantingly. "There's plenty of other things to do than something as dull as that. Don't worry your pretty little head.”
You shook your head, surrendered to crying. Your husband's hands had left your neck, but now they wrapped around your wet cheeks, offering shy caresses.
"From now on you're going to use it when I say so. Everything will be that way, and you know why?”
A crooked laugh vibrated against his chest, reaching you through his hands.
"Because now you will be my new pet. A special one! The best of them all… You could say ‘muse’, even. Isn't that beautiful, dear?”
A cold kiss. The last one.
“Aren't you, above all, beautiful too?”
831 notes · View notes
alchemistc · 9 months ago
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i like your voice in person
Evan's staring at the bed like he's trying to navigate a minefield.
Six months ago that would have sent Tommy on another journey of self-deprecation, a reminder that he'd known Evan wasn't ready for this, known this was a possibility, but Evan, for all his own insecurities, knows what the hell he wants and if he'd felt even an ounce of pressure or remorse up to this point he'd have said something long before now.
Sometimes Evan likes to work it out himself, and sometimes he needs a little nudge, and Tommy watches the head tilt and the angle of his pursed lips for cues as he settles under the sheets.
"Something on your mind?" he prompts, and Evan blinks, like he hadn't realized he'd gotten lost in his thoughts.
"Uh...nothing, maybe."
"Sounds like something, probably."
Evan's smile tilts up at one corner, and he settles on the bed a little stiffly. "It's nothing major. Just. Something I've been thinking about?"
He can feel his brows jumping, can see the way Evan takes in the look with a fond expression. Evan steels himself for something -- they're still muddling through past experiences and learning how to be a bit more intentional in some of their conversations, because they both have a bad habit of reverting to flirting and deflection.
"You remember what we talked about last weekend?"
Tommy can genuinely remember about 93 percent of what he and Evan talk about at any given time, which is an astronomically high number and not at all an exaggeration. He'd be embarrassed about it if he didn't have clear evidence that Evan was as deep into this as he was.
They talk a lot, is the thing, about inconsequential shit just as much (definitely more) than the important stuff. They talk far more than Tommy can remember talking in any other relationship he's been in. But Tommy can pinpoint the exact one he means.
"You mean the roles thing."
Evan hadn't been a stranger to a little daddy talk in bed when they started to explore it, and he'd brought it up right at the start for a reason, but Tommy had taken a while to come around to the realization that Evan had sort of internalized the 'I don't have daddy issues' of it all in a way that Tommy hadn't actually meant it. There'd been little things, here and there; like Evan reaching a door before him and then bashfully waiting with it half open like he'd made a misstep; like twisting his mouth a little funny when he snatched the bill from the table before Tommy could get it. Little things.
Things that, in the abstract, yeah, Tommy liked to do for his partners, but in reality weren't actually that big a deal to him.
He'd needed to clear the air.
Evan nods. Curls a hand around his knee before he shifts his body so that he's facing Tommy. "So, I like taking care of people."
(A conversation, a month ago, Evan grimacing around "My therapist says I have to stop calling myself a people pleaser in a derogatory way.")
Tommy hums, something to remind Evan he's listening.
"And I guess I sort of built up this idea in my head that that was like, a hard stop with you."
("Everyone likes being taken care of sometimes, Evan.")
"And I'm not -- I'm not upset at you, or like, feeling guilty, I just -- I've been thinking about it, and I feel like I forgot to ask you how you wanted to be taken care of."
The thing with Evan is that no matter how often he'll deflect with a joke, when he wants to say something serious he's blunt as hell about it. There might be some hemming and hawing to get there but sometimes he says things that just make Tommy wonder if he'd ever actually learned how to say things before Evan.
"I don't really have a list, babe," he says, and then sort of hates himself for it. Deflect, distract, hey baby how about I blow you about all these big feelings inside my chest I can't articulate.
Evan, though, Evan squinches his eyes and runs a heavy hand through his hair. "I...sort of do?"
"Lay it on me."
Evan grins. "That's actually one of the things on my list."
Tommy blinks. Tries to figure out that trail of thought, but he's coming up with nothing. "Okay, can you expand on that?"
"Like --listen, you know I'm a huge fan of being the little spoon. I'd let someone put screws back in my leg just for continued little spoon privileges. But sometimes I miss being the big spoon, and in my head the idea sounded so stupid to bring up but now I'm wondering if, like, maybe I've just been denying you the joy of being the little spoon?"
Tommy thinks of Evan's hands spread big and warm across his belly, of knees tucked up behind his, warm breath on the back of his neck like when Evan stumbles up behind him in the mornings whining about coffee, and maybe he blue screens a bit because he's never actually dated someone so close to his own size, because there's always been an assumption at the outset that he wouldn't want that.
Alex had been a little too into the same dynamic he'd seen Evan stumbling through, and Colin had hated sleeping with someone's flesh touching his own. Beyond that he hadn't really dated anyone long enough to really form a preference.
Maybe Kara might have been willing, back when he'd been closeted enough to pretend it wasn't an effort to get it up when she had his dick in her mouth, but they'd been young enough that staying the night wasn't really a consideration.
"And like -- listen, I don't necessarily prescribe to gender roles as a thing in general, but a few weekends ago I spent like twenty minutes staring at a bouquet of flowers in Trader Joe's and convinced myself you wouldn't like the gesture so I didn't buy them but you have a few vases in your moms old china cabinet and the moment I remembered them I felt stupid for not buying the flowers."
There's something curling tenderly underneath Tommy's ribcage that he's not sure he's ever felt quite like this before. It's not new, exactly, but it seems to be thrumming particularly hard tonight.
Three months in, Tommy had gotten the man-flu from hell, temperatures so high he'd been grounded and sent packing to rest it off, and he'd texted Evan a jumbled mess of barely discernible things when they'd tucked him into the Uber.
Evan and Bobby had made chicken noodle soup at the station and Hen had sent Evan off with a laundry list of things he could do to help drop the fever, and Tommy had spent the duration sulking and glowering and dragging himself out of bed every time Evan had wanted to change the sheets, to keep Tommy as comfortable as he could, but when Evan had caught it four days later he hadn't hesitated to do all the same shit with gusto. Evan hadn't been particularly grateful either, because neither one of them liked being laid up when the world was out there waiting for them, but he'd at least had the grace to not be an asshole about it.
He had, though. Been grateful. A little awestruck, too, at the mere idea of someone so unafraid of just being there through all the moaning and groaning and hacking and coughing, keeping the tissues from piling up on the bedside table and switching out cold packs to the freezer so he always had one ready in case he wanted it. In the clarity of a full day without fever making his brain feel like cotton candy he'd stared down at a sleepily wheezing Evan and known he could absolutely lose his heart to this man.
"Also I don't want to toot my own horn here but I give excellent foot rubs, and I feel like there's about a million other things I've just been -- holding back from doing?"
"Because of the role thing, or because all your stupid exes told you you were needy?"
It's not a night to pull punches. Also Tommy wants to send thank you cards to every single one of them and attach them to boxes with a bark scorpion inside.
"Both," Evan says without a second of hesitation. His smile crinkles at the corners of his mouth, and Tommy is suddenly annoyed with the space between them. When he holds out his hand to tug Evan into him, Evan melts into it for the space of a moment before he pulls back. "I actually kind of desperately want to be the big spoon right now, if that's something you'd be into." Evan had definitely clocked the look on his face when he'd mentioned it, but he's keyed into the way Tommy checks in and reciprocated in kind since the start of this, so.
Tommy peels his glasses off, snags his bookmark to keep his spot in the monstrosity of the Wrangler maintenance manual he'd stopped being cagey about the fifth time Evan caught him flipping through it, and watches Evan settle comfortably into bed next to him. The problem is, Tommy actually isn't sure where to go from there, which is a ridiculous thought to have because Evan hadn't either and he'd figured it out just fine.
"How do you want me, Buckley?"
The roll of his eyes is so bitchy that Tommy has to remind himself that for all his people pleasing attributes, Evan Buckley is, at heart, a huge fucking brat. Evan tugs and twists and maneuvers his arms and Tommy sort of sinks into it, head tucked in the crook of his shoulder, draping his leg over one of Evan's when he shifts his knee pointedly, a massive, unruly breath escaping Tommy once they're all done shifting.
"You should absolutely try out the rest of your list," he murmurs into the space where Evan's shoulder meets his neck. "Although you don't need to woo me anymore, I'm actually fully wooed."
Lips against his crown, pressed tightly enough that he can feel the smile against his scalp, Evan chuckles. "You don't know how good my wooing is."
The fingers shifting up and down his arm feel somehow different, from this position, even though Evan has done it a hundred times before from the spot he likes to claim with his head right over Tommy's bleeding, three-sizes-too-big-for-him heart. It's ridiculous, and it shouldn't feel any different, but it does. He wants to be greedy with it, soak it in and then never let Evan do this again because he finally understands the appeal and he doesn't want to deprive Evan that.
"This is nicer than I expected."
Evan's soft laugh ruffles his hair, and Tommy wonders if he's dumb enough to ask Eddie how long he should wait before he can reasonably beg Evan to spend the rest of his life with him.
"Save the reviews for when I actually spoon you. It's gonna rock your world." His hand drifts up, fingers digging into the dimple of Tommy's skull.
The hum in his throat has a mind of it's own, going thin and reedy and --
Evan pauses, and Tommy can practically see the gears whirring in his mind, because this is new information.
To both of them, actually, but Tommy doesn't have time to process it because the fingers on the back of his skull spread and sink deeper, just enough pressure to be more than a glancing ruffle, and Tommy can't quite help the way he tilts his head back into it, or the way he hitches his leg to press his groin a little more firmly to the outside of Evan's thigh.
They're both too tired for it to really mean anything -- both off 48's and a fumbled round in the shower while they were already bone weary -- but Tommy wants the reminder for them both when they wake up in the morning.
He can feel his eyes drooping the longer Evan scrubs his fingers against him, and the thought pops into his head as he's drifting off. He doesn't want it to disappear into the fog, though, so he murmurs it into the soft, warm skin of Evan's neck. "I like camellia's. White ones."
Evan hums, and Tommy just knows that the moment he drops off, Evan will be reaching for his phone to google the language of flowers.
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alloftheimaginesblog · 1 year ago
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holding on {alex karev}
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plot: you and alex aren't friends but he's the person that sits by your hospital bed day and night until you wake up.
character: alex karev (early seasons) x reader
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The steady beeping of the various machines was something that Alex had grown tired of two days ago, the machine's volumes had been turned to 0 but his anxious eyes kept flickering to them every few seconds just to be sure. The background noise of the hospital was something he was used to and it was an oddly comforting sound. Now, the silence of being in the room with you had been nice at first but now that he was here, with you, waiting... just waiting... the silence was unnerving him.
He tapped his foot, checking the clock on the wall. Bailey should've been here by now, she promised him that she'd check on you every two hours. She was late. Anger surged through his body causing his heart to pound and his fists to clench.
"You're such an idiot," he could hear you scolding him in his mind, "if you just stopped dealing with your problems with sheer anger then maybe, maybe people would actually start to like you."
He scoffed.
You and him had hardly been friends. You and the rest of Bailey's interns were the best of friends, all living together in Mer's mom's house so why wasn't George or Izzie or Cristina or Mer here? Why was it Alex? That's all the four of them had been whispering about. Cristina asked Alex, Izzie asked Alex... hell, Bailey even asked Alex. Alex had ignored each of their questions and instead gave some snarky asshole comment with an eye roll. Alex didn't even know why he was here - why he'd purposefully demanded the week off to be by your bedside day and night sleeping on a camping bed with the scratchiest sheets in the world. He didn't know and yet, here he was.
You were annoying. You annoyed him. But since the news of the accident and since you'd been in a coma, Alex couldn't stop thinking about the way you laughed as you teased him. He couldn't get one specific moment out of his head.
You and Alex had been working on a case together - much to your dismay - and Alex had opened up slightly, letting you see that he was much more than what you previously thought.
"So... you're not just an asshole with the emotional range of a teaspoon, who knew?" You helped yourself to the bar stool next to Karev. Joe glanced at you, asking if you wanted your usual to which you nodded.
Alex rolled his eyes, "Whatever."
There was silence for a few seconds before you tried again, "I know you have this hard 'I don't care' exterior," you started, "and I know it's probably because of some past trauma in your life, Karev - believe me we've all got some shit - but..."
"Are you gonna keep giving me a stupid high school girl pep talk or are you gonna shut up and drink?"
It was your turn to roll your eyes now, "Joe, another round please."
As Joe poured the two of you more drinks, Alex sighed and looked at you, "Thanks," he murmured quietly, "I'm not- I don't..." he cleared his throat, "I don't mean to be an asshole all the time... I don't really know... Social shit isn't really my thing."
"Now who's acting like an emotional high school girl?" You teased. Alex laughed, a genuine smile stretched onto his face. Yeah... maybe he wasn't so bad after all.
So after the accident, Alex stayed.
It was then Bailey strode in, chart in hand, "Karev," she said glancing up for a second, "you look like hell. Don't you think you should go home get a proper sleep? Take a damn shower?" She could see the worry in him, she could see how stressed out he was; the dark circles under his eyes, his nails chewed down. Alex might not even know it yet but he cared about you.
"I'm staying," he said with a nod standing to look over her shoulder at your chart, "Any updates?"
"You tell me, you're the one who's been here since she got admitted." Bailey moved to you, turning the volume up on the machines, checking your levels.
"Oxygen levels were a little low at 3am, managed to level them out... No issues since." He nodded, arms crossed with a hand rubbing at his jawline, "Why hasn't she woken up yet, Bailey? She should be-"
"Karev," Bailey said, voice strong, "Go get yourself a cup of coffee, now."
"I don't-"
"Now, Karev. Let me do my damn job and stop hanging over me. Coffee."
With a few harsh words which made Bailey surprisingly laugh, Alex stormed out of your hospital room, storming past O'Malley and Stevens who had come to check in with Bailey on how you were doing.
Bailey leaned down closed to you, "If you die, god help us all... that boy..." she looked to the door where Alex had left from, "he'll be lost forever. So don't you dare, you hear me?"
The coffee machine was a minute's walk away from your room so Alex would know if anything were to happen to you, he would know but he kept checking over his shoulder anyway just in case. He was exhausted, he couldn't remember the last time he'd drank or even the last time he'd eaten. You had consumed him for the last two days; making sure that you were okay was his first priority.
He stopped at the coffee machine punching the button for a crappy black coffee that he wasn't going to drink anyway, "Come on," he grumbled as the cup dropped and the coffee began to pour in slowly, "Damn piece of crap machine, hurry the hell up!" He yelled suddenly, slamming his fist into the plastic front. Around him, people stared but he didn't care. When the coffee finally stopped, he pulled the cup out when he heard it.
"Code blue! I need a crash cart! Room 2203!" It was Bailey. It was you.
Boiling hot coffee splashed over the floor, the cup dropped and on the ground as Alex Karev took off running.
His heart pounded, usually the thrill was the thing he loved the most but this wasn't a thrill, no, this was dread. When he burst into your room, the first thing he heard was, "Clear!" and heard the noise of the defibrillator.
"What's going on?!" He yelled over the chaos.
"Get him outta here!" Bailey yelled, "Charge to 200! Get him outta here, O'Malley!"
George tried but a determined Alex was a strong Alex. He resisted George's grip, shoving him back every chance he tried to take him out. It got to the point that George gave up, "Dr Bailey!" He exclaimed, hopelessly as Alex barged to your bedside. Bailey couldn't do anything, she was busy trying to save your life, she couldn't deal with Karev as well so she let him be.
"Don't you dare die on me," Alex hissed, eyes flooding with tears, "don't you dare. Can't do that to me, (y/n). Can't have me sitting here waiting for two days to just die on me-" he looked to Bailey, "Save her... please."
Bailey's eyes met Alex's and she found a lump in her throat, "You hear him?" She asked you as the paddles charged, "don't you dare die on us, (y/n)." With one final shock, the monitor started to beep again, "Heart rate is coming back up," she said with a relieved sigh, "Thank the Lord. Levels are stabilising."
Alex collapsed into the chair at your bedside, hand clamped around yours, as his eyes closed, letting the relief wash over him. You were alive; you were stable.
"What- what caused it?"
Bailey shook her head, "Don't know, levels were fine but as soon as you left the room they started to drop so do me a favour, Karev," she looked pointedly at him, "don't leave this room again." Normally he would've bit back, said a comment about her forcing him out but instead, he just nodded falling back into his chair, hand still in yours, "I'll check every hour, okay? You page me immediately, got it?" Again, he nodded and then the room cleared out.
Alex didn't turn the monitors down, he needed to hear the steady beep to know that you were okay, you were alive and you were breathing. For the last three hours that he'd sat here, he had prayed to every god he could remember the name of - he didn't know if it counted but even started praying to some Greek Gods as well. Why have God in the title if it doesn't count? His hand was still firmly in yours.
Bailey had checked five times in the three hours, checking on you but also on him. She brought him a soda, a sandwich and a muffin and didn't leave until he'd drained half the can and eaten one of the sandwiches. He hadn't realised how hungry he was until he'd started eating, he devoured the rest of meal once she'd left. You were still stable but you weren't awake yet. Bailey was optimistic but Alex wasn't. He was dreading the worst, expecting your levels to become unstable again but as he was dosing off, he felt your hand twitch in his.
He shot up, "(y/n)?" He asked staring at your hand and then at you and much to his relief, your eyes began to flutter open. He let out a sound that was half laugh, half sob. Utter relief crashed over him, "You're awake," he grinned, "you're actually awake."
"A-Alex?" You croaked.
"Here," he said gently as he grabbed a plastic cup and straw and filled it with water from the jug on your bedside unit, "Drink up. How you feeling?"
"Sore."
"Multiple ruptured organs and a few broken bones'll do that to you," Alex teased with a smile. You noticed his hand was still in yours, warm and strong. He saw your eyes narrow at your joined hands and he was quick to pull his back despite everything inside him not wanting to, "I- I'm gonna page Bailey, you drink up." He helped you take the water and left. He was just outside, close enough to make sure that you were still safe - still alive.
It was as he left you looked around the room and you noticed the camping cot which was set up on the floor next to your bed. You frowned. Someone had been staying here. Was it... no, it couldn't have been Alex; Alex hated you.
Your thoughts were cut off by Bailey bursting into your room, "Oh thank the Lord," she grinned, "it's good to see you awake. You scared us." As Bailey checked you over, Alex returned to the seat next to you. Bailey saw your confused expression seeing him sat there, normal clothes not working, "Karev," she said, "go and get (y/n) a sandwich, will you? She's hungry." Alex went to argue, to tell Bailey she told him not to leave your room but Bailey's pointed look made him stop and nod. He left a second later giving you one last worried look, "She's fine now go."
You looked up at Bailey who sighed and looked down at you, "You had that boy scared to death, you know."
"Who? Alex?!"
Bailey nodded, "You're not the only one who's surprised. As soon as you were admitted he was here. It was his day off and he was here. Soon as you got outta surgery he was set up in your room. He hasn't left since Tuesday."
You looked down to the cot next to you, "He's been here the whole time?"
Bailey nodded, "I don't know what's going on between the two of you - if anything - but I'd say that there's something." Your frown deepened and Bailey smiled, "Just... be patient with him."
When Alex came back, Bailey gave you a secret nod with a knowing smile before she left promising to come check on you every hour and to not dare think about going back into a coma otherwise she would kill you. "I'm a doctor, I know how to save people but I know how to kill them too."
"Hey," Alex said as he placed a sandwich and soda on the unit beside your bed, "You okay?"
You nodded, finding yourself rather overwhelmed and touched by his actions. He - Alex Karev - had stayed by your side since the accident. What did that mean? What did Dr Bailey mean? You nodded quickly, "Yeah," you said softly, "just tired."
Alex puffed out a long breath as he sat in the seat next to your bed, "Yeah, you must be. Gave me- gave us all a fright."
Silence fell and the two of you fell into the comfort of the sounds of the hospital. You sipped at the soda Alex had brought before curiosity got the better of you, "Alex... why did you stay with me?"
You could've sworn his cheeks flushed a darker shade of pink but he rubbed his hands over his tired looking face so you couldn't have been sure, "Hell if I know," he muttered, "it's not like we're friends but... I didn't want you to be alone. You're the only one that's almost like a friend and... I dunno." He shrugged, "I don't really understand it myself." Maybe there was something deeper lurking under the surface but he didn't know. That was something you'd have to navigate together, "I know you'd have probably preferred Cristina or Mer-"
You took his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, "Thank you, Alex," you whispered, "for everything. Thank you." Now, this time you could see the tips of his ears go pink. You smiled, "Now when are you going to shower cause boy you are looking rough-"
"Shut up!" Alex rolled his eyes but he laughed with you and for once, it felt nice to joke around with him. It felt normal. You didn't know what was going to happen but you somehow knew that he would be beside you, figuring out this crazy journey together and somehow, that made it a little less scary.
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a-substantial-trash-pile · 3 months ago
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mouthwashing responsibility au rambles below cut 🫡
(spoiler warning for the actual game obviously)
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- even though jimmy got deservedly knocked out by anya and thrown into the cryopod early on, the crash still does happen. it's a freak accident this time, like maybe a piece of space debris just happened to hurtle right into them without time to dodge. it's like the tulpar is destined to crash. but this time it's a story about a group of people finding hope and strength in each other and finding what they themselves can be capable of in a time of crisis. btw i just mean curly, anya, swansea, and daisuke. i am NOT repenting jimmy. he ain't "fixing" shit.
- i'm sorry for frying curly again even though this is supposed to be an au with a happier ending 😭 the way his loss of autonomy reflects anya's own loss of it, making him feel firsthand the suffering she went through in a way, felt too important to just remove. curly's injuries aren't as terrible as in the original timeline since swansea rescued him earlier. and by "not as terrible" i mean he only loses a leg and not all of his limbs. he will get some function in his hands eventually and anya teaches him sign language to help him communicate (she teaches the others too).
- speaking of anya, she really shows her stuff as a nurse (even in the original timeline she does, managing to keep curly alive like that). she treats curly and swansea and is much more of a pillar of strength for the crew than she herself realizes. pre-crash and post-jimmy-getting-fired, she was able to relax and open up more with everyone, building a stronger bond. when the crash happens, anya is of course terrified and hella stressed, but now she knows she has people who have her back, and it helps. she can be more confident in herself without a certain someone being there to belittle and hurt her. this time when she has to deal with something difficult, something traumatizing, she has people to support her. in this au, she is not pregnant because if she was, i don't see how keeping the baby would be a good thing for her. and i don't want her to have to deal with that situation without the proper medical supplies on top of everything else. she's been through enough.
- btw there is no shipping in this au. i personally really don't see how it could happen between anyone on the crew. if there was some sort of spark between anya and curly, it's definitely gone now and won't happen again. the most they'll be are friends (although the friendship/trust will have to be built from the ground up again after everything that's happened with jimmy). the only ship here is the tulpar.
- i know daisuke is seen as a "dumb kid" but i really don't think that's the case. we are seeing him thru jimmy's perspective mostly after all and jimmy is the definition of an unreliable narrator. i headcanon daisuke as having adhd like me who tends to lose focus on tasks easily because your brain is just going 102929 miles a minute and wandering to all sorts of places like me. he feels like someone who doesn't exactly know where they want to go in life like me. also he's definitely a hawaii kid born and raised and talks pidgin sometimes like me except i lost the pidgin :(. i'm totally not projecting my asian ass on the asian boy or anything. BUT ANYWAY i wanted to give daisuke more stuff to do and a chance to prove to himself that he can do these things, he can step up. so that's partially why i made swansea burn his hands rescuing curly. daisuke can now be filled with Determination and be swansea's hands in repairing things as he heals. it's going to be hard and it's going to be frustrating for both parties and sometimes they'll get upset at each other. but it will inevitably be a great bonding experience for the two. i cannot resist the call for more father-son moments.
- swansea my beloved. i am so sorry for burning your beautiful hands please forgive 😔🙏 i have to make my faves suffer a little. swansea's hands will heal up eventually and he'll be able to use them again, but there will be scars. i think him having to guide daisuke with doing repairs n stuff on the ship as his hands recover gives him a mission. something to distract him from completely falling into despair and alcoholism. that man is hanging on by a thread but by god he's going to help get these kids through this. they've all grown closer since jimmy was sacked and swansea feels a sort of responsibility towards protecting anya, daisuke and curly as the oldest one there. it's the dad instincts y'know? on the real hard days, sometimes swansea thinks about cracking open a bottle of mouthwash, but he holds back because he feels he needs to stay strong for the crew. however he does have to learn that he can't shoulder everything and that he can rely on others. him having no choice but to have daisuke take over his tasks is a good way for him to learn that, i think. swansea is definitely a pillar of strength in this and the rest of the crew have a lot of affection for him (and vice versa even if swansea won't admit it). can you tell i really like swansea. he is such a foil to jimmy—a guy who has fucked up a lot in his life but actually acknowledges his mistakes and is trying his hardest to be a better person. aghh swansea i love you 💛💛
- after the crash happens, the cryopod room becomes inaccessible, so nobody is able to check on the state of jimmy in there. so they don't see that the crypod he's in eventually fails from damage and he escapes. this happens a couple weeks into the crash. jimmy is still pissed about everything and still can't see how he's done anything wrong (this is because he is a delusional asshole). in fact, he feels like he's the one who's been wronged and betrayed by everyone on the crew and he wants revenge. there will be a final confrontation between jimmy and the crew. spoilers: jimmy loses. i'm just undecided on who finishes it. it would be fitting if anya shot him, but i'm not sure that's something she'd necessarily want to do. she chose to be in the medical field after all. don't get me wrong, i think she would pull the trigger if it meant protecting the others. but i'd hate to have her kill, because even if jimmy deserves it, anya is a healer and would still probably feel guilty about it. i don't want to put even more shit on her plate. so i think swansea is the one to put jimmy down in the end. with the axe of course. i think he'd feel less guilty about doing it because it's something he's wanted to do since anya first told him about jimmy. oooh what if jimmy gets his hands on the gun, but daisuke tackles him, making him drop it, and anya gets it and shoots jimmy in the shoulder or leg or something to get him off of daisuke, and then swansea comes in with the axe to finish him off. that could be fun. that way anya won't have to actually kill but she'll still get to shoot jimmy. bless.
- the crew gets rescued eventually, but it's going to be a few months because pony express is a nightmare company. i'm honestly still not sure if pony express is even the one who will rescue them or even bother to look. i'm tempted to just have another ship happen across them by some miracle and help. real tempted to make that ship The Unreliable and turn this into a Mouthwashing x The Outer Worlds crossover quite honestly since both settings share similarities (megacorporations, cryosleep, etc). but idk. it's not like i can just write a fanfic or anything since writing is harder for me and who knows how long it will be before i even draw the idea. it's just yet another self-indulgent daydream for now.
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