#and like. i know i'd have an intensely hard time fitting in or finding my people in london but like

[thedissociatives]

ok so feasibly going to either uni i've applied to in london have suddenly not really become options anymore :/

[daenysx]

trying to go back to writing!!! hope you enjoy ♡

james potter x fem!reader, modern au. smut -the sight of james wearing grey sweatpants drives you crazy

"james-" you whine, it's a pretty sound and james likes it very much. his lips curve upwards, eyes shining with the spark of longing. you arch your back, so helpless and needy, it makes you blush hard on your cheeks. "please."

james kisses your forehead before leaning in to take your nipple into his mouth. you push your chest towards him, his fingers find the other one to pinch it lightly. he sucks the bud slowly, his eyes closed and brows furrowed. you know he likes feeling you in his mouth but it's been long since you got him in your bed like this. you want him so much, it pains you.

"baby." you say, hand lost in james's curls. "i need you." he has a weakness, the entire world stops when you call him baby. he lifts his head, helps you lie down properly on the bed. he takes off your panties quickly, you never protest. your legs melt around his waist as he gets closer to kiss your lips.

"i'm sorry." he says, he means it. "you've been so patient, sweetheart. i'll give you anything you need, i promise."

you give him the best smile you can manage. he smiles back, kisses you on your chin. his hands angle your thighs to spread your cunt open. it feels weird and maddening for a moment, you lick your lips. james kisses your neck before he drags his fingers to your wetness.

"my little baby." he whispers. "my good girl, look at that."

he pushes a gentle finger inside you, your cunt clenches tightly. his thumb starts rubbing slow circles on your clit. "make a mess for me. we both deserve it."

it's been a long week of exams for you and james had training almost every day. you missed him terribly and having him between your legs now feels more intense than it ever has been. he's so good at what he's doing, it drives you insane. james adds one more finger, moving in and out with a certain angle. you throw your head back when he finds your sweet spot, the softness that never fails to make your world shatter.

"please, please." you start stuttering. "need it so bad, jamie. please."

james coos, his hardness pressing against his boxers painfully. he strokes his cock with his free hand, he groans silently. you watch him through hazy eyes, you can feel how wet you are around his fingers. he looks like a statue, all muscles and a perfect bone structure. his one hand tries to relieve himself as the other one plays with you. the sight of him almost makes you faint, it's insane.

"don't pout, pretty girl. i'm just trying to get you ready."

"i've been ready since i saw you in those grey sweatpants." you whimper.

"fuck." he says, hand stroking his cock harder. "want me inside, huh?"

"i need it." you push yourself to his fingers desperately. "do you want me to beg?"

james kisses you sweetly as if he isn't the one who teases you until you break. "never. i'd never make you beg."

he keeps the promise, frees himself of his boxers quickly. he grabs your thighs a bit roughly, you love the way he holds your flesh in strong hands. he hits your clit with the tip of his cock first, you can't help but clenching around nothing. james smiles lazily, he hits again.

"look at you." he says. "look here, sweetheart. i want you to watch."

you lift your head a bit and james finally motions himself to your hole. it's a tight fit, he goes slow at first. you are thankful for his stamina, you like it the best when he's taking his time.

"look, baby." he whispers. "only one week and you are so tight around me."

you nod, wrapping your legs around him. he is helpless, pushes himself into you. it's so wet, the mess on the sheets grow incredibly. you don't care, you want him deeper. finally you can reach his shoulders, his neck is so close to your lips.

"can i move?" he asks. "are you okay?"

"please move." you say, kissing his neck. "please, baby."

he wraps an arms around your shoulders to reach your hair. his hand goes to your scalp to massage lightly, he moves deeper at the same time. you moan when he pulls your hair just a bit, it doesn't hurt but it's too arousing, you don't know what to do. he gives you a sympathetic smile, pulls again.

and then it falls into a certain rhytm, james keeps moving with his hand on your neck. he pushes himself in a way that makes your thighs shake. you keep saying his name to his ear, mumbling words to encourage him as he fucks deep into you.

you can't even form a word when it comes close to the ending. you hear a loud moaning, not sure if it's you or james. all you can do is holding onto him as you come, feeling a liquid dripping down onto the sheets. you hold james's shoulders blindly, the clouds in your mind part as the tightness slowly disappears.

james pulls out as he comes. thick, white droplets cover your stomach. he thinks it's cute; the way you keep clenching even when you finish, the way your hands are desperate for support. he lets out a tiny groan as he strokes his cock for final drops, he's spent.

it confuses you most of the time, how you feel the need to do it one more time even though you are dead tired. james stays on top of you like a giant human blanket. he runs hot, sweat covers his skin. you stroke his back, muscles sliding under your fingers.

"are you okay?" he asks against your ear. "need to hear you, baby."

you nod tiredly. "i'm okay." you whisper. "you?"

he kisses the side of your head. "i'm fine."

he tries to move but you hold him back with weak hands. "jamie."

"just gotta clean us up, lovely." he says. "two minutes."

"i'm counting." you say with a hushed voice.

he keeps the promise. you help him as much as you can but your legs let you down when you try to pull your clean panties up. james completes the task with heart-eyes.

the sheets are ruined, he throws them into the washing machine. he finds clean, white sheets and spreads it on the bed with the slow help of your shaky fingers.

"come on." you say, laying back on bed. "come here."

james smiles at your whining tone. such a perfect girl, looking at him with shiny eyes. you extend a hand, he accepts greedily.

he pulls you on his bare chest with a hand on your waist. "so," he starts. "what about my grey sweatpants?"

you don't even bother to hide. "they look amazing on you."

"yeah?" his tone is teasing but you gladly fall into the trap of giving him compliments.

"i like the way they wrap around your legs." you continue. "just- looks perfect."

he kisses your forehead when you close your eyes. so sleepy and so pretty. he wants to keep you like this. he wants to take the load off your shoulders and carry it without complaining. he wants to shower you with his affection, wants to kiss you until you fall asleep before him.

"i love you." he says. you are already sleeping.

[thehigherseekerastro]

Random Astrology Observations (Alternative Meanings Love Edition) 2 🤨❤️🤔

DISCLAIMER: I am in no way, shape or form a professional astrologer, modern or traditional.

I HAVE been studying astrology for a while now, and analysing charts available to me, as well as my own, and noticed a lot of the info you find online doesn't make sense in real life, because it is too reductive, stereotypical or lacks broader context. So I thought I'd share some of my personal observations to see if it resonates with anyone.

This is NOT the end all, be all. Apply it as it makes sense to you.

**************************************************

The 1st House 🙋‍♂️

The 1H in synastry is a tricky one, because the first house itself is related to our individual identity. It is the house of self. So, when it comes to having a love planet here, things can get really murky. You'll often hear that it indicates instant attraction, but also only surface-level. While that is not entirely wrong, it would be a disservice to reduce it to just that. Yes, first house ties back to your physical appearance and external impact. But what does that mean for someone else being impacted and impacting that? Does it even apply in synastry? The answer is: YES. And it goes much deeper than you'd think. It will talk about an immediate recognition. It talks of being mesmerized by someone's look and demeanor, but that comes accompanied with an obsessive need to know more about you, to be around you, to soak up as much of you as possible, as if to aggressively learn you. And that's because you will tickle all the boxes the person had been holding inside (and vice-versa).

(e.g.: having someone's planet(s) fall into your 1st house doesn't just mean they will be attracted to you, if it's romantic. It also means the person feels like you two share a vibe, share interests, ideas. It means they feel like you move according to their speed, and therefore, that could lead to a lot of trust and comfort on their part, because you feel like a safe place. Not in the same sense as the 4H, but in a more "this person will have my back, cause we're the same!" kind of way. It makes the person feel like you are enough, because you fit them. So even if everyone else disagrees with them or doesn't understand them, they'll sort of look over at you, and if you validate them, that will be enough for them. They'd rather have your approval – since you are someone who gets them – than to have the approval of a bunch of people who don't understand where they are coming from.)

It truly is a beautiful thing, but even positive planets with positive aspects can lead to unwanted side-effects. The house person could come to resent the planet person because of how much they like them. Depending on who the house person is – if they have a dominant or prideful personality, for example – they may come to resent and even become angry with the planet person at times, because they'll feel so strongly for the planet person that they could start acting out of character for them, and that can make them feel like they're losing control of themselves. And as human beings, what do we do when we feel out of control? Shift blame and start looking for culprits. This DOES tend to wear off, though, exactly because of how intensely the house person feels for the planet person, but it can burn hot for a minute or two, specially if they end up getting into an ugly fight and the 1H person tries to forget the planet person, but they can't bring themselves to hate them. They'll get angry at the fact that no matter how hard they try to hate the person, they still feel enchanted by them.

(this could also create an unwanted feeling of "nobody else is like them", so the 1H could panic a bit at the thought of losing the planet person because 1H synastry creates the immediate feeling of the "perfect person for me", so imagine thinking you found the perfect person for you... it can make you feel like if you lose them you'll never recover, because no one else will be like them or able to replace them as perfectly)

All in all, though, first house Synastry tends to usually show up good results, depending on the planets and aspects involved. Another aspect of this synastry that doesn't get talked about for some reason is the fact that they tend to obsess over and notice the tiny details in each other. So it creates this effect of falling for them over and over and over again, cause they'll keep finding little things about the other person that they find enchanting, and THAT'S what creates the physical attraction. It's not that the planet or house person are conventionally attractive to everyone – they might not even fit the beauty standards –, but to the house person, those little details will sort of build up the planet person's beauty step by step, and by the time they catch on, they'll be enamored with every part of them, so, to the house person, the planet person truly is the most beautiful thing ever.

(1H house synastry also brings a 1st house energy to the attraction. NO - NOT ARIES. First house. But it will sound like arian qualities because Aries does rule the first house, after all. What this means is that a big part of the attraction for the 1H person is feeling like the planet person is independent, self-sufficient, confident, self-assured and capable. Because it's taping into their 1st house of self, the house person can sort of see the best of themselves reflected on the planet person, which means they feel like all the things they are insecure to show the world, the planet person has and is not afraid to show them. So they feel like planet person not only embodies their attraction ideal, but also the ideal personality they wish they had themselves. Which they do, but they don't realize it until planet person comes along and brings it out of them.)

First house Synastry is a complex kind of Synastry that is much more psychological than it's given credit for. People often focus on superficial physical attraction and gloss over the fact that it's like somebody is literally stepping into your mind and making your inner fantasies come out. It can feel very vulnerable and intense.

The 7th House 💍

Oh, isn't this one a gem?! Perhaps one of the most sought after in synastry. But the idea here is to provide an alternative perspective, so here goes: if it's badly aspected, or there's other challenging factors involved (the person falling into your 7H is problematic themselves), you're gonna run into the issues people often attribute to 1st house synastry, such as superficiality and a "false love" because 7H Synastry, regardless if it's good or bad, creates somebody who's "perfect on paper". They say the right things, they do the right things, they seem to fit into your whole ideals. But that does not guarantee that that's who they truly are. That's just who you think they are. Remember – the 7H is the house of "other". So it's not about you. It's about the other. But it's rather how you act around said other, and also how you perceive them.

(It's tough to say this, but you gotta be real to help some people out there who might have had 7H Synastry and didn't understand why the relationship failed, since everyone online claims it's a guaranteed soulmate. It's because Synastry goes both ways. And all houses have good and bad. There is no such thing as the perfect Synastry. But in the case of the 7H, I'd say it's the real life case of "if it's good, then it will be amazing. Truly a soulmate. But if it's bad... it will be awful. Just not immediately.)

Going off of the previous comment, another grim way this Synastry can turn out is in its binding effect. And I don't mean anything spiritual or abstract here. I mean literally binding. Imagine a relationship going sideways like that AND you are also now married or share a business together. MESS! This is the house of contracts and long-term. Remember Saturn exalts in Libra, because Libra likes things that last, and Saturn is the planet of long-term, so the house of Libra will sprinkle that lasting effect over whatever it touches. And if you're in a 7H relationship, that relationship will last with you, whether good or bad. It will take A WHILE to break off from it, either mentally, emotionally, psychologically, legally or financially.

(e.g. somebody has their moon in your 7H, but it's a moon at fall, in Scorpio, and it's afflicted in their natal chart. Now, at the beginning they will seem like a gift from God directly to you, so much so that you decide to make it official... And then, one or two years in, living together, each day it gets more toxic and draining and the dark sides just oozes out of your relationship. But now you are legally married, and divorcing will take time, bureaucracy, money and emotional energy, not to mention you'll have to uproot your entire life, explain it to your social circles and families... And what seemed like your dream come true was in fact a bitter lesson to learn).

To veer away from the dark twists of the last ones, let's dissect the correlations people make with the 7th house, like "oh, your spouse will be interested in art, and beauty, and music, and sophisticated things!" Why? Are you marrying a Libra? A Libra rising? Somebody with a Libra Venus? No? Then that has nothing to do with 7H Synastry. Houses are not signs, signs are not houses. Libra is one thing, the 7H is another. Venus rules Libra, which resides in the 7H, but Venus doesn't rule the 7H. It merely influences the 7H. It would be a better guess to say you might have met your person while they (or you) were already in a relationship than it is to say you met because of beauty-related things, or art, or music, since the 7H doesn't talk of any of those things, but it DOES talk of committed relationships.

(e.g. you might have met the person right after they (or you) got divorced. They might be connected to an ex of yours. Or another possibility that isn't talked about is how the person you eventually end up with is someone you have liked for a long time, but never got the chance to be with until now. Since this is the house of long-term relationships, having placements here could indicate that the person you ultimately stay with long-term is someone you already knew prior to getting together, but you needed to experience other relationships before you united with them.)

Another final aspect of placements in this house is the fact that it doesn't just deal with your love relationships, but also the way you consciously present yourself with others. How you behave socially. But also the mirror effect of this house, speaking directly about love. This is, after all, the house directly opposing the 1st house of self. In that regard, this is similar to 1H synastry, with the exception that in this one, instead of you coming out of your shell subconsciously, you make a conscious effort to become your best for your person here. You want to live up to all of your potential.

The 2nd House 💆‍♂️

This one is a bit tricky for me, because I'm not materialistic AT ALL. I have a Taurus Lilith in the 2nd house, so, I express it on the other end of the spectrum. When you have that placement, you either put too much value on money and material things, or you are completely unattached from it, and that's me. So the whole "money this, money that!" vibe is not my scene. I don't see a price in life, I see value. With that said, let's get this going.

Yes, this is the house of money and material things. Yes, it will deal with your personal finances. But no, unless other parts of your chart/Synastry agree with it, somebody's placements falling here should not have a lasting effect. It might merely indicate you overspending on dates and gifts. The 2H is the house of YOUR money, which means that the whole "oh, they're gonna shower you in gifts!", "And this is a sugar baby aspect!", "Your person will want to spend all their money on you and buy you expensive things!" is probably not gonna happen, sorry. If it does, it will be you spending your money.

(And if you do spend your money, the whole "gifts" thing is also not that common, because normal people don't just go around buying gifts for others every other day of the week, unless they have some sort of imbalance. Such a consumerist mindset! Not everything is about paying for things or buying things. That's a VERY American culture of dating, specially for women. This nasty idea that a man has to buy you or he's not good. Which is what encourages habits like thinking the man always has to be covering your finances (how old are you, 5? Get a job and pay for your own damn self! You are an adult woman), paying for your food, buying you a house, giving you gifts all the time and affording expensive dates. You are not a product. If your biggest incentive to be with a man is because of how much he pays for you, then that's the world's oldest profession, not a relationship of love. So this should play out more like them helping you manage your own finances. Don't go around thinking a 2H love placement is gonna turn you into Cinderella.)

If you do happen to be a stay-at-home person in your relationship, which is valid, as long as it's not all about money, 2H love placements and synastry will talk more about other material aspects of things. It will talk of stability, sustainability, longevity and security.

(e.g.: it could mean that you allocate your resources towards creating a safe, stable environment for your life together to flourish, such as buying things for your home together, revising your finances to make life goals and plans together more viable, setting budgets to achieve milestones together... as well as the literal physical aspects of valuables, so using your resources towards nourishment (food, shelter, clothing and health). Things that will ensure your relationship lasts and endures through hardships and tribulations. In the 2H of values, Synastry could indicate the relationship itself becoming your prized possession that you take care of. All the Earth houses are about caring for things, just in different ways.)

Another poorly explored aspect of the 2H is values in the moral, spiritual and emotional sense. It's WORTH. Both the causes you find worthy as well as your self-worth. A 2H love placement or Synastry can and will directly affect that. Even if you do happen to be dealing with financial/material things too, that can affect your self-worth directly.

(e.g.: say you are married to someone who is constantly in debt, or say your spouse is the breadwinner of the household and you depend on them financially. That can really take a toll on your self-worth. It can bring feelings of poor self-esteem, can you make you feel undervalued, inadequate, make you feel like a burden, or make you feel incapable of caring for yourself. It can strike your self-confidence and make you VALUE yourself less. Or the opposite. Your spouse may open you up to new possibilities of making money, which in turn gets you into a new passion project that you succeed in and that can make you feel like a worthy person, make you believe in yourself, make you feel important and valuable.)

I would argue that most often, it's the 8H Synastry that will really have your partner's materials affecting you, because the 2H is the house of your PERSONAL gains, while the 8H is the house of OTHERS' gains and possessions. Most often, the biggest impact I'd say 2H love placements have will be dealing with self-worth, self-confidence, shared values and morals, feelings of belonging and acceptance.

General Things ✨

What I see most often is that positive and negative outcomes tend to happen simultaneously. It's not all doom and gloom, but it's also not all sunshine and rainbows all the time. Sometimes it's great, sometimes it's not so great, and those ups and downs come and go. That's just life. Both are there to be worked with, worked for, or worked through. At the end of the day, astrology will not mandate your life events, and you have to always be learning from your life, and working on yourself and the things that matter to you. Astrology is just a guiding light to identify possible themes to be mindful of.

**************************************************

That's it! Thank you if you've read it this far! I might have come off a bit harsh (I hope I haven't), but I promise I'm nice lol.

My whole goal is to try to discuss astrology in as realistically as possible, but while making it clear that any possible outcome is plausible. If most times all you hear are fantastic stereotypical descriptions of placements, such as 7H, the not so great ways in which it can play out will be explored here to help people navigate them. If all you hear are bad things about a house, then I'll try to show the positive ways in which it can come out.

The whole point is to try to bring a wide range of notions to these descriptions, together with the information that is already out there and available by many other creators.

At the end of the day, remember this is all POSSIBILITIES. Your personal life has to be analysed to know what's gonna ensue. And don't be discouraged, because the truth is that positive and negative effects tend to happen together for your best.

Hope you have a good day when you find this!

MASTERLIST

[tubbytarchia]

Traffic/Life series roster as dinosaurs

A lot of these don't make for very good hybrids unless you wanna get into freaky territory or full on centaur but... Hope it's a fun scroll nonetheless!

Grian - Novialoidea

A small birdie... The name also means "New wings" which I find fun. New lives and death games to be part of, new wings to accompany him... (Honorable mention to "Shuvuuia" the "desert bird" who unfortunately is not a pterosaur (doesn't fly)) (Yes we're including pterosaurs! Just using "dinosaur" as a conveient blanket term)

Tango - Aratasaurus / Pyroraptor

Fire raptor! Either works just fine and Tango as a skittery little raptor is perfect for a creature like him

Scar - Apatosaurus

"Deceptive Lizard" harkening back to Scar's scamming tendencies. Though I've always liked the idea of him being some larger gentler animal in any hybrid scenario and a long-neck fits the bill well. He can poke his nose into people's conversations easily to start marketing something useless to them and swishes his tail to ward off anyone who's about to stop him

Impulse - Nasutoceratops

Ren - Regaliceratops

Horns. COOL horns. I don't know what else you want from me ceratopses are just way too awesome. Nasutoceratops is a wicked cool dinosaur for having its horns point so forward much like a bull and I for one can jive with some Impulse bull symbolism. Bulls are often viewed as strong, sturdy and loyal, traits also assigned to Impulse a LOT of the time. But though he IS intensely loyal in many cases (+ Ceratopses are also known for how they defend their own!), and he's not very outward about the following traits, he can get quite petty and bitchy and hold grudges. Still, you don't think of that when you look at him and he seems to agree! Eg him feeling like he should be accepted into Cleo's alliance in 3rd life without actually proving himself when Cleo was rightfully hesitant, at which Impulse more or less rolled his eyes. And him proclaiming "betrayal!" when killed by Bdubs when their alliance was as firm as a rat's tail

(And I feel the need to point this out too just in case: "bulls are also known for their temper" yeah but they're not like that! Bulls like many animals become defensive when exposed to aggravating behavior or movement! Which you could work into Impulse's grudge holding and intense loyalty...? I don't know enough about him sorry but do with that what you will)

Regaliceratops! Regal!! Crown shaped frill!!! Need I say more?

Gem - Therizinosaurus

Theris are so bad bitch coated to me and I would love to have one as my wife I mean um I couldn't decide on a less generic specimen so Gem can just be a Theri! A herbivore - often associated with the belief that herbivores are gentle passive creatures, but far from it, especially with Gem! She bares her claws like it's no one's business

Martyn - Stygmoloch

A Pachy with a tough head and a tendency to bonk people - I think it fits Martyn's tendency to perpetuate drama haha. The Stygmoloch's name though more or less translates to "demon of the styx river", the river of the underworld representing loathing of death. To me this makes sense with all the watcher lore (that I have a hard time understanding but whatever!!) especially with how Martyn became in LL. The watchers themselves don't loathe death (??) of course. They're death games. But someone within the game trying to stay alive and win? Probably loathes the idea of themselves dying. I have no clue what Im saying

Pearl - Carnotaurus

Ok maybe a hot take not to make her into a pteradon or even a raptor with wing-like features but those just didn't fit that well in my opinion. Rather I wanted her to have some kind of horn motif in place of her wings as visual symbolism for her character. I'd like to imagine her having fine horns, to then have them damaged (one broken off) and simultaneously the other more grown out. Think of how domesticated goats for example have their horns trimmed. I think human hybrids with horns would do the same to keep them from becoming a bother but Pearl would neglect to after her heartbreak in DL. I was heavily considering the Diabloceratops for this, especially because of the name (Devil horned face - good ostracizing material) but Pearl strikes me a lot more as a carnivore and there are only two horned carnivores out there so... Carnotaurus it is haha. And even now I'm making her horns unrealistically big but.... We can suspend some belief

BigB - Oryctodromeus

"Digging Runner"! I've already talked plenty of why BigB is very rabbit behavior to me and my reasons for assigning this burrowing dinosaur to him are similar. Tldr he is fidgety and cautious yet clever and constantly buries himself underground

Lizzie - Anurognathidae

I don't even fucking know man it made me think of Lizzie and then I wasn't able to assign anything else to her. Lizzie often claims to be confused and if any dinosaur looks to be in a perpetual state of confusion then its this one. I know a lot of people like to portray Lizzie as a butterfly also so there you go, wings!!! And it's quite cat-like too for those who like to draw her as a cat

Mumbo - Leinkupal

I really struggled with Mumbo... So many different dinos fit him imo but I figured it should be at least something moderately large (so "Technosaurus" was out of the question lol). Then I rediscovered this dinosaur whose name translates to "vanishing family" and then I thought about LL and SL and how Mumbo went out quickly after the initial death/s and left a very felt absence in someone's alliance and then I became really emotional and forgot what I was doing

Joel - Nodocephalosaurus

Bdubs - Psittacosaurus

"Knob Headed Lizard"

Joel as an Ankylosaur has been stuck in my head from day one of assigning dinosaurs to the Lifers and I'm frustrated that I can't truly explain why. You'd view an Ankylosaur as a slow and docile creature, even compared to other herbivores, but...

1. Maybe not so much nowadays, I don't know what non-dino nerds think, but I feel like ankylosaurs were largely believed to be HUGE back in the day, much like velociraptors, when in reality they're not that big. The Nodocephalosaurus is especially small even among other ankylosaurs. But, well, we all know what Joel loves to say about himself

2. Joel is or likes to make himself look well in control, just as ankylosaurs have little to worry about as far as predators go. Especially in earlier series where he was content basing mostly by himself. It's always when things get dire and he enters his red life that he becomes very impulsive and erratic like an ankylosaur flipped on its back

3. I know there's a distinction between Traffic Joel and Empires Joel and whatever other Joel but... Even in death games his more charitable traits shine through here and there. He really becomes a dangerous rascal for a large majority of the time and he's very good at it, he's not putting on a mask or anything, but I like to remember that underneath that tough spiky armor is gentleness and caring. His care towards Lizzie and Pearl and Etho etc etc

4. The image of Joel as a hell of a spiky creature is just really fun to me. Yet heavy and blunt ones! And someone once proposed the idea of him having a club tail but having chiselled it to be sharp to mirror him being a menace. (Added benefit also that it's lighter that way haha) To me he's always been an obvious heavy hitter rather than stealthy or particularly creative etc. Him as a carnivore just doesn't work as well for me

The name bares no fitting meaning but when I look at Bdubs I think of Psittaco. All other species close to it in looks are already ceratopsians and we have like... 3 of those already lol. Im sorry Bdubs you look so stupid

Cleo - Lythronax

There's so few predators in this roster lol oops, but Cleo deserves to be an apex one! The name translates to "Gore King" because you know, zombies... and you know, Cleo is very king so true. If any of the Lifers should be able to boast rows of razor sharp teeth to gore others it should be ZombieCleo

Scott - Theiophytalia

I've been really struggling with Scott but how about the dinosaur whose name translates to "Belonging to the garden of Gods". There's only one known specimen of this species and it's an Iguanadon looking dinosaur which I think a lot of people would regard as the most basic, possibly boring type of dinosaur (if it weren't for the Allosaurus which already takes the title of "basic straight white guy") but that further fits Scott imo. It's always been a strong point of appeal to me how MUCH there is to his character that so often goes under the radar or unexplored, and how he's very often portrayed as just some handsome looking guy as opposed to a hybrid etc. He's not at all extravagant yet has mastered his craft of bending fate in his favor, he so often has things perfectly under his control just as he wants them, etc... reflective of the name "Theiophytalia" even if you wouldn't think such a dinosaur to sport one of the most prolific names a dinosaur can have. Also garden something something flower husbans. Basically whatever Bree's take on Scott is lol. I don't wanna blab for 5 paragraphs about that blue mf here but. I hope this makes sense

Jimmy - Yinlong

I struggled with this mf the most because he's another very hashtag deep character. I felt really bad to remove his bird motifs completely because the canary is so essential to him, but a raptor nor a pteradon fit my image of him at all. I spent so much time looking into various species but it just aint it, but Yinlong was possibly quilled and we can still cover him in feathers, even if he has nothing close to wings haha... BUT ANYWAY. Yinlong is a small kind of pathetic looking dinosaur, and Jimmy definitely isn't small but he'd sure be made to feel that way. Yinlong translates to "Hidden Dragon" however, a rather thought-provoking name for such a dinosaur. Given his character, it sure does feel like there's a soul of a dragon laying dormant somewhere in him, buried by all the self deprecation and curse labels. Honorable mention to Tianyulong, a very similar dinosaur who was named after a museum, but "Tianyu" also translates to peace and content. Something that Jimmy can't yet but deserves to be

Etho - undefined raptor

Already made a loong post about raptor Etho haha which I assume yall have seen since the support towards that post is the only reason I'm even making this post

Skizz - Olorotitan

"Titanic Swan" close enough to an angel right. I feel the whole angel thing is a bit overdone when Skizz can become a malicious little creature every now and then, but swans much like angels do get viewed as beautiful and taken as symbolism of love. Much like Skizz is largely viewed as an angel and often as someone who can do no wrong. But mostly I wanted Skizz to be a hadrosaur/duck-billed dinosaur, because those are dinosaurs known for their speculated vocalizations. And what is Skizz good at? Talking and voicing his love and appreciation? Yeah? Yeah... I'm so sorry Skizz btw this hybrid idea does not work out

Again, a lot of these don't work so well as hybrids... Some like the long-neck ones I cant imagine to have more than a spiky spine back and a tail, but! These picks aren't based on hybrid potential but rather what I think genuinely fits. I did really work on this all day looking through a bunch of dinosaurs and research haha, but I do love dinosaurs a lot... If you disagree with any hey thats cool! Feel free to give me your opinions if you've any and I hope this was fun to scroll through regardless

[lucy90712]

Not enough- Jude Bellingham

Dating a footballer is fun until he becomes incredibly successful and all of a sudden there are rumours left and right of him dating someone that isn't you. That's what my life is like Jude and I got together 3 years ago now when we were 17 and have been together since but we never made our relationship public because until the summer we were still long distance and didn't want the extra pressure. Having our relationship private has been so nice as it has meant when we do see each other we get to just enjoy being together but it also means we have to deal with rumours of who Jude might be dating. Those rumours never really got to me while Jude was at dortmund but since he's moved to Madrid things have just got so much more intense it seems that every few weeks there is a million new articles and tweets. 

Having to read all of this and seeing how pretty all the girls has really started to get to me. All the girls Jude is rumoured to be with are either models or just incredibly pretty which makes me feel awful about myself. All these girls have made a name for themselves in some way yet here I am with my job in a cafe while I try and find a job in the area that I studied. Jude likes to tell me that he doesn't care what I do for a living or how much I make but I can't help but feel guilty when I can't contribute much to the house or get him expensive things like he does for me. I'm also definitely no model I'm definitely not as pretty or as skinny as a model which I used to be ok with but now I don't feel so confident in myself. The other wags are also so pretty I definitely don't fit in with them either which makes me feel even worse about myself. 

Jude doesn't seem to have any clue that this is all going on he wakes up goes to training then hangs out with the boys leaving me until late at night so he doesn't see all the rumours or how they affect me. He's not here for the time I spend scrolling through social media or looking in the mirror judging everything about myself. Even when Jude is home he always seems to have something else on his mind so he never really gives me compliments anymore. I'd like to think that he still loves me but at this point I'm really not sure I mean he's young and he's attractive why would he want to be tied down with someone like me he can do so much better. I simply don't think I'm enough for him. 

A few days ago Jude went out to celebrate a big win for the team while I stayed at home but the next morning all I could see was rumours that Jude was flirting with multiple girls all night letting them dance with him and since I haven't really spoken to him. I spent all of last night laying awake thinking about everything and I decided that I just think I need to break up with Jude so then he's free to do all the things everyone thinks he's doing anyway. It's hard to decide to end a relationship especially one that has been going on for so long and one you are so fond of but I don't see any other way forward. This is why I've been so distant with Jude because in my head if I didn't talk to him that would make all of this easier. 

As always Jude left for training just as I got up for work but by the time I got back he was home which only happened the first few weeks I arrived so it was strange to see him here. Like always I headed upstairs to shower and change and when I came back out the bathroom Jude was sat on the bed waiting for me. I still didn't say anything to him because I'm trying to stay strong until I find the right time to tell Jude how I feel. 

"Babe are you ok you've barely spoken to me the last few days" he said 

"Yeah I'm fine just been busy had a lot on my mind that's all" I replied 

"Please don't lie to me I know there's something more going on I see the way you look all the time I just couldn't figure out what was wrong and now I give up so please tell me what's going on" he begged 

"I didn't want to say this yet because I'm still figuring things out but I think we should break up I just can't do this anymore" I said 

"Please no baby no I can't live without you whatever I've done I can fix it and I'm sorry just please don't break up with me" he said 

"It's nothing you've done it's just me" I said 

"Then what is it please tell me if you really want to do this at least tell me why" he said 

"I'm just not good enough for you every day there is new rumours of you being with someone else and all of them are prettier and have more going for them than I do and you deserve to be with one of them or to just be free to do what you want" I explained 

"But I want you that's what I want I don't want any of these girls nor is there anything going on with any other girl incase that's what you're thinking I like that you live a more normal life you keep me grounded and I think you are the prettiest girl in the world" Jude replied 

"Then why are you never home and why do you never compliment me anymore?" I asked 

"I-I'm sorry babe you're right I haven't been home much but I will change that I will come home after training and I will invite you to more things and believe me I could sit here for hours and compliment you and I'll do that if I need to" he said 

Jude did exactly what he said he started listing all the things he loves about me while giving me kisses. It felt so good to have his attention again it felt like we were back to how we were before I came to Madrid. After he complimented every single part of me he asked if I'd like to go out on a date like a proper date outside where people could see us and I didn't hesitate to say yes. Even if people see us who cares it's about time that we went public with our relationship then the rumours can be true for once. We have talked about going public a few times but now feels like the right time just so we can stop the media getting too far out of control 

I got all dressed up in a pretty dress and my makeup and hair all done for once I actually felt really pretty. When Jude walked in he had a white shirt and some black trousers on which he looked so good in. He stopped as soon as he saw me and I think his jaw actually hit the floor which made me blush and that was before he started complimenting me. The entire drive Jude didn't stop telling me how beautiful I looked which honestly made me feel so good about myself. 

At the restaurant there was people taking pictures of us walking in which Jude tried to protect me from a bit but we wanted to be seen together. It was weird being in front of so many cameras as I've spent years trying to avoid all of this but now I'm happily letting them all take pictures and stare at me trying to work out who I am so they can get their exclusive headline. The people in the restaurant were lovely though they showed us to our table then left us alone as much as possible which was nice as we were able to have a proper date night together. As we finished dessert Jude showed me all the pictures all over Instagram and Twitter then he showed me a post he had drafted to tell everyone about our relationship and put an end to everything. He had a beautiful caption written which nearly made me cry and all the pictures he had I hadn't seen before as they were ones he took secretly but they were all so cute. He let me click post so that it was my decision to go public then he took my phone and turned it off so we could enjoy the rest of our evening together without having to see what everyone has to say.

[goddessinnerglow]

Become Your Best Version Before 2025 - Day 11

Taking Care of Your Body

Hi Goddesses! How are you feeling today after focusing on regulating your emotions? It’s a big step, right? Knowing that we can handle whatever comes our way gives us so much more power. But today, let’s shift gears a little and talk about our bodies, our physical well-being. After all, emotional regulation and physical health are like two sides of the same coin. They feed into each other.

I’m sure you’ve heard it a million times: “You need to take care of yourself.” But, let’s be real, it can be hard to know where to start. Sometimes, health can feel like one big overwhelming task. Whether it’s exercise, eating better, or just getting enough sleep, there always seems to be something else that gets in the way.

Let’s start with a truth we can all agree on: health isn’t about drastic changes that leave you feeling burned out. If you’ve ever tried to stick to a crazy fitness routine or overhauled your diet only to feel completely defeated by the end of the week, you’re not alone. I’ve been there too.

Let me share some real-life, totally doable ways to make healthy changes that actually stick.

Starting Your Day

Instead of jumping into an intense morning routine, try this: When you first wake up, before even checking your phone, take three deep breaths and stretch your arms overhead. That's your baseline. From there, you might naturally want to add:

A glass of water with lemon

A 5-minute gentle stretch

Opening the curtains to get some natural light (game-changer for energy levels!)

Making Movement Fun

Here's a secret I wish I'd known earlier: exercise doesn't have to feel like punishment! Start by finding what you enjoy:

Love chatting? Make walking phone calls your thing

Enjoy music? Have a 10-minute dance party while cleaning

Like structure? Try the "commercial break challenge", move during every TV commercial

Work at a desk? Set a timer for hourly 2-minute stretch breaks

Better Sleep Habits

Remember: good sleep makes everything else easier! Here's what works:

Create a relaxing bedtime routine, dim lights an hour before bed

Keep your bedroom slightly cool

Try reading instead of scrolling on your phone

Use the 10-minute rule: just lie down with no pressure to sleep, often you'll naturally drift off

Simple Nutrition Changes

Instead of restrictive diets, try these gentle additions:

Add one fruit or veggie to whatever you're already eating

Keep a water bottle where you can see it

Try filling half your plate with vegetables when possible

Keep healthy snacks handy for hungry moments

Combining New Habits With Old Ones

Here's my favorite trick: attach new healthy habits to things you already do:

Do counter push-ups while waiting for coffee

Stretch while watching your favorite show

Take the stairs when checking work emails on your phone

Drink water every time you check social media

Tips That Really Work:

Track your habits without judging yourself

Celebrate small wins (seriously, even taking the stairs counts!)

Have backup plans for busy days

Find a friend to check in with (anyone in the comments want to pair up?)

This Week's Challenge

Pick ONE thing from any category above that feels almost too easy. That's your starting point. For example, I started with just the morning stretch - three days later, I naturally wanted to add water, and a week later, I was craving a morning walk.

Share in the comments: What's your ONE thing going to be? Remember how we talked about being gentle with ourselves yesterday? That applies here too! No pressure to be perfect, we're just adding tiny doses of goodness to our days.

P.S. Don't forget, it's totally okay to modify any of these suggestions to fit your life. The best healthy habit is the one you'll actually keep doing!

See you tomorrow for Day 12!

♡ ☆:.｡ Keep glowing, babes! ♡ ☆:.｡ With love, Goddess Inner Glow.

[forever-rogue]

Hi Bee🐝 I hope you’re having a nice weekend❣️

I had a Joel fic idea I wanted to send you in case you are looking for inspo? If not just ignore this lmao.

I thought it would be kind of cute to have a fic where r likes to read even after the world went to hell and whenever she goes with Joel somewhere and he luckily finds a book he knows she hasn’t read he picks it up for her as a gift😭 and r reads out loud for them when they’re camping, oblivious to Joel’s feelings until one day he gives r a book she mentioned she loved when she was younger and she’s like oh, you feel the same way 😭

AN | I love this, this is so soft and I love this concept! I hope you like it too 🥰

Pairing | Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Warnings | None

Word Count | 3k

Masterlist | Joel, Main

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"Always buried in a book," his tease was accompanied by a warm chuckle as you looked up and found Joel strolling into the makeshift library. Your smile was beaming as you marked your page and set the book down to give him your full attention, "what are you readin' now?"

"Nothing terribly exciting," you confessed with a huff, nodding in the direction of your latest selection, "the Hobbit. I think I've read it a dozen times by now. As a matter of fact I think I've read all of these books at least twice."

"Hard to expand a library when people aren't writing anymore," Joel rubbed at his beard thoughtfully as you nodded sadly, "its a shame."

"I never thought I'd see the day when I couldn't go to the bookstore or library for a new book," you looked away, blinking back your tears. It wasn't just the book thing - it was everything, "but here we are. I like to write my own stories sometimes but it's not the same. I already know the beginning, middle, and end and all the plot twists when it's all in my head."

He hummed in understanding as you felt him study you intently. Your face warmed up under his intense gaze as tugged at a loose thread on the sleeve of your sweater, “is there a reason you read the same thing multiple times?”

“I’ve always read a lot,” you tucked your legs up and under yourself on the overstuffed chair. You focused on the fire that was crackling away merrily, knowing that you had his undivided attention, “it was always a good form of escapism when I was younger and turns out it also works these days with all of…this. I didn’t have a lot of friends growing up, I always had a hard time fitting in. When things got bad, there was always a book to turn to.”

“Did you have a favorite?” you huffed in amusement as you turned to him with a no duh expression. The look on your face made him laugh as well, and he reached over to give your shoulder a gentle squeeze, “what was it?”

“You’re going to laugh…”

“I promise I won’t,” he insisted, accompanied by a silent shake of his shoulders which led you to raise your eyebrows at him, “I’ll do my best not to.”

“A true man of honor,” you rested your chin in your hand as you looked over at him, “prideandprejudice.”

“Come again?” he was teasing you, the question filled with tender affection, “didn’t quite catch that, sweetheart.”

“You’re the worst,” you groaned softly, hiding your face in your hands, “you heard me loud and clear - Pride and Prejudice. I know it’s silly but I’ve just always loved it.”

“I don’t think that’s silly at all,” he promised as you relaxed slightly. It wasn’t that you needed his approval or hoped he felt the same way, but there was something about his response and how tenderly he watched you that it made your tummy explode with butterflies, “it’s nice to have something familiar to hang onto - it’s nice to have a friend.”

“I agree,” oh. He really had to stop looking at you like that before you melted into a puddle on the floor, “I haven’t read it in forever.”

“Haven’t found a copy or just haven’t had the desire to read it?”

“Haven’t found it,” you sighed dramatically, before smiling back at him, “maybe one day I will, and if I do, I’m going to make you read it as well - I’ll even read it out loud for you.”

“Is that a promise or a threat?”

“Umm…I dunno,” you mused as he shook his head fondly, “both? Which one is worse?”

“I don’t think I’d ever feel threatened by you,” he began as you gave him a mock-hurt little expression, “you’re very tough, but I’m sorry sweetheart, you’re too soft. Which isn’t a bad thing. So, tell you what, you ever get your hands on a copy of Pride and Prejudice, I’d love to have you read it out loud for me.”

“Yeah?” you looked at him with soft doe eyes that made his heart constrict.

“Promise.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Joel liked your smile; it was pretty, even if you shied away from it at times. It always worked to make his heart constrict with emotion, and he’d long formed his own little plan to make you smile as often as he could. You weren’t privy to that just yet, but that was okay. As long as you were happy that was all that mattered. 

His favorite way, as he’d found after that afternoon in the library, was surprising you with a new book. Realistically, it wasn’t much, but it was the meaning behind the gesture, and the fact that even though he was out in the big, bad outside, he was thinking about you. 

Book after book he found for you, some almost new, perfectly preserved in time, and some already aged and loved before everything fell apart. But it never mattered, it was all about the face that he did just for you. The old, rickety bookcase in your small apartment was soon filled with new titles, some you’d already and others you’d never even heard of, all lovingly placed and organized. One of the many reasons you didn’t mind these small tokens of affection from Joel was the fact that it gave you more reasons to spend time with him.

As the months passed, you got to know Joel more and more, learning about his life from before the Outbreak to present. You shared just as much with him and in a way it felt like the two of you had always been friends, like two wandering souls that had found their way back to each other. You never would have thought that someone like him would ever even want to spend time with you, but you fit together like perfect puzzle pieces. 

On this particular evening you found yourself in his backyard, along with Ellie and a few other friends that you’d made in Jackson. Some moonshine had been passed around, and lots of exciting stories had been exchanged. You were listening to everyone, mostly staying more on the quiet side when you realized you didn’t have much to contribute to the current conversation at hand. 

“What about you?” Joel was sitting on your side and leaned into your space, gently nudging your leg with his. You blinked a few times, tearing your attention away from the fire and turning it to him with a confused look on your face, “what’s your best camping story?”

“Oh,” you grinned sheepishly as you looked around the circle and found nothing but friendly faces looking back at you. Your cheeks warmed up as you shrugged innocently, “I’ve never actually been camping. So I wouldn’t know….unfortunately.”

“What?” Joel seemed surprised but quickly caught himself and slipped into the soft tone that he often adopted for you, “I knew there had to be something wrong with you - there had to be a flaw somewhere.”

“And never having been camping is my flaw?” you teased right back, unaware of the knowing smiles that were being exchanged all around.

“That’s right,” he insisted, leaning in even closer, causing your heart to skip a few beats, “but don’t worry, there will still be time to fix that.”

“What a gentleman,” you down the rest of your drink, shaking your head in amusement.

“Would you look at the time…” Ellie almost jumped out of her seat, pointedly looking around the circle and motioning with her head that it was time to leave, “it’s late and we’re all tired, so we’re gonna…go.”

“All of you at once?” Joel raised an eyebrow as he looked at the girl, knowing better than anything by this point. She nodded with narrowed eyes as everyone said their goodbyes, leaving just the two of you. Joel let out a long sigh as he leaned back in his chair and smiled at you, “very subtle.”

Your mind started to reel with possibilities as to what he meant. You knew what you wanted him to mean, but you also weren’t about to flatter yourself like that. Joel wouldn’t ever like you as more than a friend, right? Right. 

The way you looked at him with such wide, gentle eyes made him want to pull you into his lap and kiss you until there was no mistaking what he was saying. The two of you stared at each other for a few moments before you cleared your throat softly.

"I guess I should get going too," you whispered, still unmoving, "it's late."

As soon as you stood up but before you could go, you felt his fingers wrap around your wrist as he gently held you back.

You turned around to face him, neither of you speaking, just studying each other. He had lovely eyes, soft despite all the years of hardness, his lips pulled into a soft smile.

Before you could stop yourself with too much logic, you leaned in and kissed him. You wondered if it was all a huge mistake, but to your surprise, he kissed you right back. His hands found purchase on your waist and yours on his shoulders as you let him kiss you 

Until you came to your senses and realized what you were doing. You gasped in surprise and pulled back, looking at him worriedly as Joel dropped his hands from your waist. You blinked back the tears that had immediately threatened to well up, panicking that you had crossed any remaining boundaries that either of you had remaining.

"I-I am so sorry," you whispered, touching your lips without thinking about it, "I have to go. I'm sorry."

You were gone before Joel could even process what had just happened. 

When he did, he hung his head and sighed heavily. He hoped he hadn't just fucked everything up.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

In the following week, you weren’t actively trying to avoid Joel…but you were definitely making sure you weren’t around whenever he was. You just had no idea how to broach the subject or if it even needed to be discussed. The idea of going up to him and saying anything made you want to curl up and wither away - it might have been dramatic  but you were willing to allow yourself a little bit of theatrics. 

But…you realized later on, Joel hadn’t fought off your advances. He’d actively kissed you back, and taken control. Maybe he’d wanted it just as much as you had. Or, or, you’d taken advantage of him, because you’d both been drinking. That made it all worse, and made your stomach churn. 

Either way, your plan was to avoid him - if not forever - for as long as you could.

Unfortunately, Joel was a stubborn man and wasn’t about to let you go without any explanations. And you weren’t exactly particularly sneaky; he found you in your usual spot, perched on the window seat with a book open in your lap as you stared out the window. 

“Hey,” you startled at the sound of his voice, but turned to him with a shy smile. He approached you slowly, almost as if he was afraid that he was going to scare you off like some sort of wild animal, “figured you’d be here.”

“Well,” you waved your hands around dismally before tucked your book away, “I’m not exactly hard to find if you know me. I’m a creature of habit.”

“Ain’t nothing wrong with that,” he came over and leaned against the wall, crossing his arms over his broad chest, “I have a surprise for you.”

“O-oh, Joel,” you swallowed thickly and wondered what on earth he could possibly be referring to, “I-I don’t need anything…seriously.”

“I didn’t get you anything technically,” ah. Joel and his little technicalities, “more of a ‘we’re doing this,’ type of thing.”

“And what is it that we’re doing?”

“Camping,” he stated with a grin as you just blinked at him in shock.

“Pardon?”

“We - you, Ellie, and I - are going camping,” he stated again as if that would clear everything up, “just a little something I’ve been planning since you’ve been avoiding me.”

“I-I have not been avoiding you,” a lie. You both knew that much, “just…busy.”

“Whatever the reason,” he insisted, “we’re goin’ camping. We’re leaving bright and early in the morning so make sure your things are packed.”

“Joel-”

“We’ll be ‘round at eight,” he gave your leg a gentle pat before heading out, not letting you get a word in edgewise. This man.

You watched him go, feeling so alive and nervous at the same time, but more importantly, you were excited to go.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

As it turned out, camping was a lot more fun than you thought it would be. You were pretty sure a lot of it had to do with your present company. Ellie and Joel were always fun to be around and this was no exception.

Joel had scouted out a remote but safe location near a river where you made camp. There was something rewarding about putting up your own tent and making a fire to cook your dinner on. It was definitely a welcome change; it almost made it seem like the world had never fallen apart. 

One particular evening, Ellie had crashed early and was already in the tent sleeping. That felt you and Joel outside sitting next to the fire. When the conversation hit a natural lull, Joel stood up and walked over to his backpack. You watched him curiously, a smile dancing on your face.

"Close your eyes," he called back to you. You playfully closed your eyes and put your hands over him. He chuckled as he pulled something out of the pack before zipping it closed.

He made his way back over to you, gently placing something in your lap. You made a small sound of surprise but didn't dare to open your eyes. Instead, you waited for him to give you the go ahead.

He sat back down next to you, groaning slightly at his stiff bones. You felt him pull your hands away from your eyes, "alright, you can go ahead and open your eyes."

"Joel, you really didn't need to get me anything!" You gasped as you looked at the object in your lap, trying to hide back a squeal of delight, "Joel. This is amazing."

"You like it?" He asked, nervous as he watched you inspect the small object. 

"Pride and Prejudice," you opened the cover and flicked through some of the gold leafed pages. It was still in impeccable condition, "oh my god, I can't believe you found this - you remembered."

“‘course I did,” any nerves he had remaining quickly dissipated when he saw the look of pure joy on your face, “I remember a lot of things.”

“I mentioned it like one time,” you flipped through some of the pages, touching your fingers over the worn but love pages, “I can’t…this is wonderful, a-and so kind. Thank you so much, Joel.”

“You mentioned how much you used to like it,” oh no. He felt like he could melt into a puddle at how sweet you were, “and I wanted you to have it again. So I’ve been keeping my eye out for it.”

“You’ve been looking for it?” alright, you were about ready to cry at that point. He nodded, trying to make it seem like less of a big deal than it actually was, “you’re amazing. I can’t…this is one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me.”

“It’s not that big of a thing-”

“It’s everything,” you clutched the book to your chest, “this means everything to me.”

“You mean everything to me,” his voice was gentle. You gasp inwardly at the revelation, “I thought it was only fitting.”

You moved closer to him on the log, shifting your body so you could face him. Your eyes locked onto his; he could see the hesitation on your face and in your body language. He decided to answer your silent question by putting his hand on your face, brushing his thumb over your cheek. 

Joel leaned in and kissed you, so quickly and delicately that you were almost convinced you might have imagined it. Judging from the expression on his face, you knew that it had definitely happened. You hadn’t just dreamed it last time - he wanted this too. You leaned into him and pressed a few more kisses to his lips, the two of you lingered but neither of you pushing. 

“There’s something I have to ask you,” he tucked a few stray locks of hair behind your hair as you felt your face grow warm again. The effect he had on you was palpable. 

“Anything.”

“Will you read to me?” the way the smile on your face was intoxicating and Joel was hooked, “I’ve never read Pride and Prejudice.”

“Shocker,” you teased softly, “are you sure though?”

“Positive,” he promised as he took your hand and led you over to the nest of warm blankets that were near the fire, “nothing would make me happier.”

“Okay,” you made yourself comfortable and pulled out the book, “get comfy and let’s get started.”

“Okay.”

[voxofthevoid]

I loved your answer to the Sukuita anon! I’d also like to ask for some elaboration if that’s okay: when you said that Sukuna in the manga says he finds Yuji boring but is borderline obsessed with him, can I ask how you got to that interpretation/conclusion? I myself am a MASSIVE sukuita shipper and yet sometimes I struggle w the ship because it feels like Sukunas hate for Yuji is so,,, rigid? To me it’s not just hate sometimes it borders on disdain/apathy which is a lot less forgiving than a passionate feeling like hate I think? And it narrows down the plausibility of a relationship between them (which makes me sad bc I ship these two BAAAADDDDDD 😭😭). So I just wanna know how you reconciled that aspect of their relationship.

When I ship something I don’t wanna feel like the characters would have to be OOC to be together (I’m not one of those people who can soften a char’s edges in my imagination to make it fit the ship), which Sukuita often feels like. Straight up giving me ship-imposter syndrome 😭 💀 making me ask myself am I being delulu? Do these two chars even have chemistry fr?

I think I’ve just never seen a character like Sukuna call another char BORING this much before. Like damn Sukuna can’t even say he hates Yuji 😭 he gotta call him boring 😭😭 and that makes me wanna kms 😭 😭 I don’t wanna ship a fraud ship so please help me see what you see.

I’ve never shipped something so hard while simultaneously being so confused and conflicted over shipping it.

*pats pats* I can understand that dilemma. Hate is a very passionate emotion, while indifference/apathy is defined by lack of passion. How's that quote go—the opposite of love isn't hate but indifference? I'd also find it harder to get into a ship where one party outright doesn't care about the other, while mutual or even one-sided hate are prime shipping grounds.

But in this case, without any real insight into your head, I'd wager a guess that you're experiencing this disconnect because you have critically picked up on the undercurrents of Sukuna and Yuuji's relationship but are consciously too caught up in what Sukuna says.

He be lyin' though. To himself, most of all. There's a reason I specified he must be in denial in that post you saw.

Sukuna very badly wants Yuuji to be boring. He wants Yuuji to not matter—for his ideals to be foolish, for his will to wither. Most importantly, Sukuna wants to be completely unaffected by Yuuji. He tries to emphasize this so many times in so many ways: he never calls Yuuji by name (except once at the beginning and then at the very end), he belittles and mocks Yuuji at every opportunity, and he says in a variety of ways that Yuuji's boring and inconsequential.

But look at his actions, the way he behaves. From the beginning, whenever he takes over Yuuji, Sukuna tries to do things that will not only bring him joy but also shatter Yuuji, and the degree of his targeted malice only increases as the story progresses. The devastation at Shibuya is a natural consequence of Sukuna's fight with Jogo and then Mahoraga, but that final moment where he takes care to lead Yuuji to the very edge of the crater, taunting him while making sure Yuuji will witness the full scale of the devastation the instant he opens his eyes? That's so intensely personal.

And it only gets worse after Sukuna switches to Megumi's body; there are glaring contradictions between what he tells Yuuji and how he acts/reacts. Honestly, even his interior monologue contradicts what he says half the time. Both in the last few chapters of "Cursed Womb: Under Heaven" and "The Decisive Battle in the Uninhabited, Demon-Infested Shinjuku," there's a running thread of Sukuna verbally dismissing Yuuji while actively being shocked, offended, confused, and even cornered by his actions. And whenever the battle narrows to just the two of them, you have Sukuna continuously needling Yuuji to get a rise out of him, while Yuuji's fixated on just tearing into him and saving Megumi—until Yuuji's domain expansion, that is.

The crux of it is there in Chapter 248, explicitly realized by Sukuna himself. Sharing a body with Yuuji, their souls coexisting in excruciating proximity, forced Sukuna to understand and be aware of Yuuji in a way that's deeply uncomfortable to Sukuna, both because of his character and because of how diametrically opposed Yuuji's values and ideals are to Sukuna's nature. Even the very act of understanding Yuuji discomfits Sukuna. Naturally, he resolves to shatter those ideals and Yuuji himself.

Yuuji's DE and its aftermath also illustrate this. You have Sukuna outright saying he feels "absolutely nothing" about the humanity Yuuji showcased only to become incandescently angry the instant he perceives Yuuji as pitying him. There's nothing apathetic about the way he resolves to tear apart everyone Yuuji loves before killing him; he even admits out loud that he's surprised by the intensity of his hatred.

Fundamentally, Yuuji changed him, and Sukuna fucking hated it the entire time—the premonition, the process, the result. He's so insistent on Yuuji meaning nothing because to accept otherwise challenges the very foundation Sukuna built his existence on. To him, Yuuji is an existential threat, and we see it realized in the afterlife scene, where Sukuna admits to wanting to try a kinder path in life. That's one hell of an admittance coming from him, but it's also an admittance he could only have made in death, in loss.

In the end, he died cradled by Yuuji, verbally rejecting him using Yuuji's own words while simultaneously acknowledging Yuuji by using his proper name. And ain't that sukuita in a nutshell?

Even outside of the shipping goggles, they're a central narrative-driving force in the final arc and for good reason.

I do think the development of this relationship could have benefited from (a) the Shinjuku Showdown arc having a tighter focus, instead of being so drawn out and haphazard, and (b) Yuuji's DE and the parts around it being expanded to cover a Heian era flashback as well as more insights into Yuuji's understanding of Sukuna. I read or skimmed like twenty chapters just to put this post together because while I trust my memory, I wanted concrete references, and it really showed how scattered the emotional core of the Sukuna gauntlet is.

[kingdoms-and-empires]

Wrath Of An Empire Review (Sci-Fi Epic!)

I recently had to go travel and read a few works that I never got around to reading but was interested in.

PLEASE REMEMBER THIS REVIEW IS DONE BY ME AS A READER AND IS MY OWN OPINION.

This means I will review in accordance to my own tastes, how the game caters to me, and what I feel. Do not take my word as gospel, what I may not be interested in or dislike, may be what YOU are interested and love!!!

@wrathofanempireif

Review;

The Good:

While I was playing, I couldn't shake the feeling that I was playing one of Hosted Games top games. It takes the formula we're familiar with Hosted Games and simply delivers what I can only describe as a modern classic in the making. And it's helped by the fact that it'll stand as one of the few sci-fi space epics out there in the IF space. Of which the author is already a part of with his The Operative project.

The story makes use of something called Soft Worldbuilding. And uses it very well, as the terms, factions, names, and even weapon systems just sound right. It also helps that alot of these can be inferred so you could have an idea of what is being talked about. They fit, and it all feels immersive. Another thing that I absolutely appreciate is the simplicity of the story and narrative itself. You can follow easily follow along, and you know what the characters are about. It is a very hard line to tread as an author, and from the advance update i was able to see, the author is pulling off so far! Take for instance minor characters like Orzo and Welf (adults who educate the MC). Their actions, behavior, and dialogue really help the reader picture what type of people they are, while still helping readers guess further into what may have happened in the past with them, something made more interesting with the galactic war happening in the background (dead family, ptsd, horrible periods in their lives before coming to the academy, etc)

Then, after the story helps set up the narrative, the issues at hand, and what choices you may have to make in the future;

NON-STOP ACTION. It felt gripping and intense, keeping me glued to the screen as I wonder what else could happen. It's there that we also see the subversion of the old trope "Useless Adults" as the guards and teachers of the academy risk their lives to bring the students to safety.

The Bad:

I wouldve liked to see more of the father and him as a person, we see from the other characters what they are, who they are, and what they may be thinking, but the father stays as "dad" the entire time. I recommend including more about the father and other similar characters so that the author can continue treading the delicate line of "simple but so good".

The Ugly:

There's several gender mistakes with the ROs, and common grammar mistakes, so par with the course of an IF project lol. I would just like to see more polish. The demo is short atm, and I cant really find faults with it that needs addressing yet, so yay!

The Aftermath:

I'd recommend this to anyone who like space fantasy stories that are sci-fi space opera-esque. I had more fun with this than I did The Operative simply for the fact of the immersion of being a student whose home was attacked by the enemy, instead of being a super soldier with a background already being semi-allocated to the MC. I really can't wait for future updates for this title!

[pizzabox-box]

How does Fake Peppino and Peppi-no perceive themselves? I assume from the clones post that Fep sees himself as peppino (to some extent), but also knows that he isn't as "real" as the real peppino (and that being real is better? Or is that something Pizzahead told him?) Does Peppi-no still see himself a bit as Peppino, or does he just consider himself the monster that killed peppino?

The best way to describe how Fake feels about himself would be like this:

" I may not be "The Real" Peppino but I'm still a Peppino! And I will try to be the best Peppino I can be! I'm not just some messed up clone... I will prove how good of a Peppino I can be! You will be proud of me! Just you wait! I will show you! I will show you all! "

Fake Peppino seems himself as a Peppino, but at the same time he's aware that he's not the original. He doesn't want to admit it to himself, but the fact that he's just a butchered clone of someone is eating at him.

He doesn't see himself as the monster most view him as. He's just making pizza, what's so wrong about it? There's some doubt and second thoughts but it's deeply repressed. There's no time for being sad when you're running a restaurant!

So now onto Peppi-no, what does he think of himself?

"I'm Peppino! Of course I'm Peppino! I have to be Peppino. People need their Peppino! What else would I be if not Peppino. This is what I always wanted. ... "

But he knows he will never be The Peppino, real Peppino is dead. He Killed him.

"Oh, who I'm I kidding. I'm a terrible selfish monster. I took a life of another for my own selfish desires. No better than a stupid ravenous animal... "

But there's no time for self pity, he has a restaurant to run! "Friends" to meet. An act to put up. He can't risk anyone finding out! So he shoves these thoughts in the back of his mind. But no matter how hard he tries, they come back to haunt him again. Each time more intense and more aggressive.

This song fits Peppi-no very well:

I realized in my last life That I hate the light So I keep running And running I'm trying to hide From everything that's inside This heart that I've tried To erase and wash away all the shame

He regrets what he did, and is trying to hide from the consequenses

Scared to death of what's within There's bleeding kind of beating, deep beneath the skin Feel it rattle, ravage, all my sin Hear it scream behind my chest again

Flashabacking

No alchemy can give me what I wish I could be So I'll try a different body Just a dash of this and that A touch of blood and add some mud My wishes, fears, and painful tears I wonder when I'll have enough

He can't undo what he did. He takes real Peppino's place, runs his restaurant. Worries about how long he can do this.

No form of love can give me what I wish I could be I pray just change me I'm broken, torn, and tattered I'll never be full again I'll close my eyes and shatter My heart, rebuild from the start Dis-gus-ting

Talking about how much he regrets doing what he did, he was fundementally changed by the piece of real Peppino.

Even if I somehow find a way to feel alive, I Realized in my last life That I hate the light So I keep running And running I'm trying to hide From everything that's inside This heart that I've tried To erase and wash away all the shame To erase and wash away all the shame

Didn't know what he was doing until it was done and now he's stuck with the consequences

Stuck in the mud in my mind, if I clean up, I swear that I'd shine I am confined to what is inside Eating away at the thoughts that I'm trying to hide And I'm sick of all this wondering if I even deserve to live I think it's best I rip these feeling out with the rest of it

Hating himself for what he did

The breath of life was my demise I'm cursed until the day I die Perhaps a better set of eyes Will blind me from this sin of mine

taking Peppino's life was a terrible decision, he wants to return to blissful ignorance, before he took the bite

I've been forsaken, I'm breaking, can't take it again So take from me my mind and let me be

Reaching his breaking point. Wants all the guilt to stop

I'm lower than the dirt A worthless Homunculus Sick. of. this.

self hate again

Even if I somehow find a way to feel alive, I Realized in my last life That I hate the light So I keep running And running I'm trying to hide From everything that's inside This heart that I've tried To erase and wash away all the shame To erase and wash away all the shame

self explainatory, he's trying to run away from what he did

Toil all day, till this rotten clay Water and blood just aren't enough To fill my heart up Over and over I try to reshape Crying in shame as I take the pain out Maybe that can change me That can save me

day after day he takes Peppino's form to continue his act, hopes he will weasel his way out of this mess, hoping that maybe someone can help him

I'm broken, torn, and tattered I'll never be full again I'll close my eyes and shatter My heart, rebuild from the start Disgusting Even if I somehow find a way to feel alive, I Realized in my last life That I hate the light So I keep running And running I'm trying to hide So maybe in my next life I'll finally find Find a way to wash away all the shame To erase and wash away all the shame

already went over this, a lot of guilt, self pity, self hate. And he's trying to run away from of it.

[weirdplutoprince]

What is Brazil like? What are your favorite things about it, least favorite things, and some day to day experiences that people not from there might not know about? Do you have any tidbits of culture you find interesting or are fond of?

Oh that's a big question! First of all it's huge lol. Unsure how accurate this specific map is, but if you google 'Brazil size' you find a dozen of these 'which countries fit in each states of Brazil' maps, so.

This is particularly relevant to everything I answer further ahead, because since it is so big and so culturally complex anything I say is just going to be a tiny speck compared to different regions.

And besides its size, Brazil had a lot going on colonization and immigration wise - meaning you have regions that have very notable communities from certain countries of the world. A famous example is that, if I recall correctly, we have the biggest japanese settlement of sorts outside of Japan. So that's something!

A funny side effect I can think that relates to this is that in historical novelas (live action television series that air daily and are known for melodrama and intensity) there is always a character that can be roughly described as 'The Sexy Irrevent Italian Immigrant' which is funny lol.

As for my favourite things I think the culinary is definetely a big one!!! There are so many dishes and they are so delicious all the time forever.

Brigadeiros are my favourites from all times, they're this candy made of condensed milk and chocolate powder, thats finished off with sprinkles. It's so yummy, you can also make it into cake filling and a million different things.

I also love Acarajé!! I think properly explaining what they're made off is a bit beyond my english vocabulary but just know its a fried dough that has yummy fillings and shrimp.

Otherwise I think I also like how warm and friendly people are. There's also this humour in how things are handled and seem which I think it's nice. Again, this is a perception I get from the region I live in, so I'm not sure. Though this is something people here tend to complain about when they go to other countries, so I guess it is at least some sort of significant cultural difference!

Least favourite things are the ever present fear of impeding violence and the blatant social inequality.

Day to day things hmmm. I have no parameter for how it goes out there, but I've heard enough stories that indicate this might be a thing: showering multiple times a day lol. I'm from a hot place so there is that, but this does seem to be a cultural thing as well. Like, I've heard of landlords from other countries complaining of brazilians that use 'too much hot water' because we shower a lot.

Just caring about cleaness a lot in general. Like, again I'm not sure which of these things are cultural outliners but from what I've heard, even things like. You go out, as soon as you go home you take off the 'going out clothes' and shower. And you avoid sitting on the bed sheets with 'going out clothes' etc.

Another thing is that is is very culturally acceptable to be late! To the point where being on time is at times more awkward. Like, say, if a party is said to start at 7 PM, people generally arrive closer to 8PM. I can remember a few birthdays I'd attended as a child where if you arrived 'on time' you'd basically be the only guest present and there would be this awkward air of 'Why Are You Already Here'.

I've also heard we say things we don't mean more? Like half heartedely making plans to go out with a friend or be there a certain day - but its kinda expected that neither side will follow through unless you constantly check up with each other during the days leading to it. I think this steems from a general need to be pleasant and friendly so people don't want to say they won't go or just outright refuse things without coming up with excuses etc.

And at last for tidbits of culture: CHILDREN BIRTHDAY PARTIES FUCKING RULE!!! HARD!!! Even if you're middle class or such it is not uncommon for parties to have trampolines, magicians, clowns, children entertainers etc. A shit ton of decoration, little gifts for the guests to take home (usually cheap toys or candy), themed birthday invitations, themed parties with decorated pannels, a shit ton of candy etc. There's even this sorta common agreement that even if you're bored because you'll be the only adult there, it is fun to attend children birthday parties because you'll eat like a king.

I think thats it!!! I hope that answers it! Thanks for the question :3

[justjasper]

Creation of the Pan Flag

Copied (with grammar/spelling mistakes) from my twitter thread about it for posterity.

I was going to do this for Pride weekend but you know, life, so: I wanted to talk about a thing. I created the #pansexual flag, a thread.

Back in 2010, I was 20 and tumblr was my main social playground. I was active in various spheres, and I was learning.

I'd been IDing as bi since I was 13, but moved away from bi as an identifier and took up pansexual soon after discovering the term, bc I felt it fit better.

This is mainly bc the simplicity of pan being defined as attraction to any/all genders was extremely appealing to someone really coming into this new way of expressing their orientation like tumblr allowed. It felt right for how I wanted to relate to and express my orientation.

The bi communities I had access too often saw heavy discussion related to attraction parametres of "bi" - convos at the time I didn't really recognise for what they were: bi people working hard to define bisexuality on their terms, tackling intra-community transphobia, (cont)

(cont) and developing within a social space where more expansive gender experiences and identities were becomes more well known and understood.

My switch of labels was about finding something that felt truly right for me, but it would be dishonest to pretend the decision wasn't impacted by the politics and "discourse" I was involved in at the time.

There was no popular pan flag, and the offerings were frankly... ugly. To me. Various shades of purple, P letters, P symbols incorporating gender symbols, infinity symbols. They didn't feel consistent with the other pride flags.

So on a whim, I decided to design one. I designed it to be pretty, honestly. That was a primary function of it, to have s/t I liked to represent my identity. No point pretending I was trying to be super innovative and deep: I wanted something pretty to plaster on my blog.

Pink, yellow, blue. A strong magenta, a strong gold yellow, and a light cerulean. The pink not too purple, the yellow not too bright, the blue not too cyan. Hex FF1B8D, FFD900, 1BB2FF.

Pink and blue, because of their gendered traditions, and yellow, a generally non-gendered colour, to represent nonbinary folks etc.

I created it anonymously, on a side blog away from my main handle. I was already running LGBTLaughs which was proving very popular in tumblr and didn't want to monopolise queer blog space, I suppose.

I didn't expect it to take off. It proved popular on tumblr, and for a few years the flag kept getting added to the Wikipedia 'pansexual' page and then removed. Eventually it snowballed and ended up in use well beyond tumblr.

As I've got older I've realised a lot of people would be interested in knowing this part of modern queer history, and more about modern flag creation in general, and that it's worth documenting. Not for credit so much as for posterity.

So, that's that. The first time I saw a pansexual flag in real life at my city's Pride parade I may have had a little cry.

Twitter Drama

Best viewed on the original twitter thread, for the full documentation (I may update this with fuller documentation down the line) but here's a rundown of drama surrounding the flag.

First, to set the stage:

posted about designing the pan flag

said i was cool with bi/pan lesbians

said i was cool with kink at pride

Thus followed, in varying intensity 2020-2022:

misgendering

suicide bait

general harassment/pile-on

"called out" on r/pansexuals

blasted on sapphics for satan (fb)

now sworn enemy of of lesbian kpop avi twitter

claims the original pan flag was transphobic in meaning

multiple "new" pan flags designed to displace the one i designed

claims i stole the flag from a medieval indian kingdom, and subsequent vandalisation of wikipedia for the actual state of kerala

vandalisation of the wiki page for the pan flag, resulting in it having to be locked

[overeducated-and-highlymedicated]

I'm really happy with my most recent watercolors c:

Each of these flowers were flowers that I saw on the approach, the descent, or the climb for the West Ridge of Mt. Conness (5.6 trad/alpine, 1500'). I took reference photos of the flowers on my phone and then used the John Muir Laws field guide to identify them.

I climbed the West Ridge with 3 pitches on lead and the rest on simul. We took the Young Lakes approach, so from the wilderness station in Tuolumne, we hiked 7 miles and 1000ish feet of elevation and camped at Young Lakes (and got eaten alive by mosquitoes). The next day, we hiked through the wilderness for 3 miles and 1500ish feet of elevation. The climb starts at around 10,000 ft above sea level. The peak stands at 12,600 ft. After a tiring and magnificent climb, we hiked 10 miles back.

Completing this climb was a really big deal for me for a number of reasons.

I had 2 foot surgeries in the past 3 years. Basically I broke a bone I didn't know I had. (Turns out some people have extra! The more you know! 🌠) This would be my first big alpine day post-injury.

The approach and descent are very long and intense. This was going to be hard, and to be honest, I wasn't sure if I'd be up to it. I lost a lot of leg strength, ankle stability, and cardiovascular fitness over the past 3 years.

I quit smoking weed in preparation for the high elevation. The smoke was making my lungs feel Bad, especially after getting Covid a couple of times. (I still take edibles but it doesn't feel as good as smoking imo)

A big day for me, and despite my anxieties, I did the climb in great style and in good time :)

I'm happy with how these watercolors turned out, especially because they commemorate a really big achievement after 3 years of injury and subsequent healing.

And these wildflowers are so special to me. Many of these flowers can only be found at high elevations. Some of these are alpine variants of more common flowers (like the Alpine Daisy as a variant of the Sierra Daisy). Some of these flowers can only grow at >10,000 feet (like the Sky Pilot). And all of these flowers are members of a complex, rare, and resilient ecosystem.

I'm still finding my style in watercolor. Some of these I think I nailed, but some of them feel overworked or disproportionate. I loved this exercise though and I plan to do more of these climbing+botany field journal entries.

Bonus watercolor - the next day at Climber Coffee we heard some very loud, insistent tweeting from a hollowed-out tree. Some tourists had gathered around it and were taking pictures. Turns out, it was this Northern Flicker chick calling for its mom (who was delivering food every so often). The little fluffball poked his head out every once in a while, it was very cute.

[astraldepths]

Music Meme Time!

I did krinklcut's music meme! :D Here is a youtube playlist of my song choices, and below are my notes about why I picked them:

Epic - Love, and Other Drugs by Family and Friends

I really love the feeling of this one, and I chose it as the Epic song because it starts out sweetly and builds in intensity with the desperation in the singer's voice, then evens out into something slower but still intense, and alternates between those two moods until fading into distortion. 10/10, this is what it feels like to be overwhelmed by the feeling of love!

2. Cheerful - Safari by Teen Girl Scientist Monthly

I first heard this song as outro music in a few of BriTANicK's sketch videos, and that part of the chorus always sort of stuck with me, but I didn't actually look up this band until years later? But when I did, I fell into their stuff head-first. I really just love the vibe they have; it's so determined and hopeful! This is one of their earlier songs (from their first EP in 2010) but their later stuff is also fantastic, and just so…earnest in the way that it is.

(also their songwriter uses they/them pronouns and is very cool! and they're coming out with a new song in January! aaah!)

3. Sugary Sweet - If You Should Try to Kiss Her by Dressy Bessy

If you're like me, you know exactly where I know this song from. <3 It was in But I'm A Cheerleader (1999), and fit in perfectly with the candy-colored world of the movie, with its bright instrumentals and sweet vocals. I love it :')

4. The Good Old Days - Nights Like These by Marianas Trench

I thought about picking a song I liked when I was younger, but I chose this one because it fascinates me. It came out this year, but from the moment I heard it, I felt like I'd always known it. Not in a repetitive way, though there are songs it's similar to, but something about this kinda gave me deja vu.

Also it matches the specific vibe of songs I loved in like 2012-2014, where there was just a certain feeling to the music that's hard to explain? But this one has that feeling, and so it strikes a particular nostalgic chord with me. Also the singers' voices are so goood, god. This song was so good live!

5. Jogging - I'll Be Here Awake by Arthur Yoria

I actually heard this artist for the first time in one of Tom Scott's early videos! He used the song "At Least You've Been Told" in the video "Breakfast: Fortified With Iron", and that one's a good time too! But when I listened to more songs from that album, "I'll Be Here Awake" is the one that I liked the best.

It definitely has a 00s flavor, and it's a nice upbeat song that I put on my playlists for when I need to get shit done. Also how can anyone go wrong with the lyric, "…and crave a little pain when no one's watching"?

6. Unusual - Gay Thoughts by The Growlers

It's hard to pick something unusual, because…I mean...you know how I am about music at this point. xD I'm not really picky, and I can find a genuine love for probably any genre of thing. So I picked a song that felt unusual to me the first time I heard it, because that counts, right?

I don't even remember when I found this, but it was a tumblr audio post, and it was not at all what I expected when I hit the play button. The combination of the style of music with the content of the lyrics is so interesting, and it's definitely a vibe!

7. The Stage - Je N'aime Que Toi from Les Chansons d'amour

There are lots of musicals or operas I could have picked from, but I like this song, so I chose this one. <3 It's from Les Chansons d'amour (2007), a musical film that at the start is about the dynamics of a threesome relationship, but then ends up being more about grief and accepting love after loss.

This song is from the earlier part of the movie, where a couple are having an argument and calling each other sluts, and then their girlfriend is like, "hey! :) it's cool :) I'm here to bring you together!"

The english subtitles in the movie translate this song weirdly (and maybe the other songs too? idk. The translator seems too focused on making the english lyrics rhyme, and they've gotta stop that; it's so strange), so you're better off looking up other translations or even just clicking the "translate" button on a youtube comment that has the lyrics written out. But, still!

8. Yourself - Now or Never Now by Metric

Some of the other songs I'm choosing for this meme are actually on my Selfmix playlist, which is for songs that sort of fit in with my image of who I am as a person. Specifically, "Safari" and "I'll Be Here Awake" are on it, and the song I picked for number nine is the first song in the playlist!

This one, "Now Or Never Now", is right in the middle of it.

With this song I really relate to the feelings of like…stasis, of not being in control of how fast you're moving in life, of having to rebuild your sense of self and learn to take ownership of what you are. This is my favorite part: "Because everything that's under my skin / Where I end and begin / Still belongs to me".

9. Emotional - Nine by Sleeping At Last

Aha you're going to regret putting the sad song last. :)

This is just…yeah. This is a song that I see myself in, and it's an amazing song, but it has to be listened to in moderation.

It came up on shuffle earlier this week when I was driving to work, and I wasn't in a good position to change it, so I had to listen to the whole thing and then take a moment after to calm down. It's a very powerful song, but…oof.

for this meme, I am tagging: @semiotomatics @dasozelotvonnebenan @catsarehumanstoo @aeriialace @chaoticbooklesbian and anyone else who wants to do it!

[aroacewxs]

OKAY OKAY. SO. i had to rethink it thorougly but there's the song i was talking about: two breaths walking deco*27 ruinene. childhood ruinene and then middle school ruinene, to be exact. i want them to cover this song even though there's no way (it has the leoni sound. but i guess leoni would fit this song too so i shouldn't complain.) but machico has actually covered the reloaded version and it's one of the best covers ever (i'm biased) so it's huge.

i'm not sure whose pov it is though? at first i completely thought rui but after analyzing the lyrics one more time i think nene's duable for some as well. anyways, up to the end to the first chorus it's their childhood. "because it's lonely on my own, i breathe with you" especially. it screams a lot of childhood rnn To Me.

and then the fun starts because we're shifting to middle school </3

"the front foot i'd half-put out to come over and embrace you / has somehow started to hurt you" makes me think sooo very intensely of how nene reached out to rui and wanted to invite him to her troupe, but he still kept on rejecting and insisting that he's better off alone. nene would actually want to take a step forward and stay by rui's side, but he doesn't want to. almost as if her kindness hurts.

"the words i just learned become a knife that pierces through you / tearing your life to pieces" is rui's pov of this scene, because that's kind of what happened no? rui said what he said because he thought that it'll be for the best, but in the end it hurt nene even more.

"i try to say «i love you», but / instead i'm living my whole life as a sort of oxygen tank" is reflective of how their relationship started to look like; they still deeply care for each other, but they have no way to express it because of the circumstances. and "suck in the words i've spit out and breathe no more" is rui wanting to be left alone. i think.

sooo that would be it. i'm very #Sane.

and actually you know what screw it even. woe the line distribution be upon ye. it's kind of clunky because i find some deco's songs very hard to make line distributions for but i think it gets the message across.

("you'll live by sucking in my breath from now on / your words have already rusted in the saliva" probably could be swapped as well? but i was not sure which one fits better so i left it like that)

UGHGUGHORH RI YOU'RE SO CORRECT ,,,,, my sign to listen to more of deco's music. this fits them wonderfully 💔

the oxygen tank line is so . ohman. god that interaction they had at scramble crossing genuinely makes me ill in the head. nene reaching out and rui pushing her away ........ it makes me wonder if they had any other similar interactions that just aren't mentioned ingame and i have to sit down for a little while

also ri i love how you do line distributions ... and how they're colour coded as well ....... thank you for your wisdom this was awesome

[ussjellyfish]

What about Michael Burnham for the character ask game?

Michael Burnham

How I feel about this character

Michael is one of the most compelling characters I've ever found. She goes on such a journey from favored first officer to rock bottom to science and then command again maybe but she spends a year by herself in a whole new world and then she finally finds where she's meant to be in the captain's chair and she's a better captain for the journey, but it was long.

I really adore her becuase my life imploded around the same time hers did and she found her way back and I found my way back, and I have a good life now. There's a peace in sharing that with her that I really love.

She's a good captain, a wonderful partner, a brilliant friend, and she's always trying to be better and she still has some deep-seated things to work on and she knows about them, she's working on it. I love that too.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

I enjoyed watching her relationship with Book because of the way they built it up and came back to each other. Their chemistry is lovely too. I very show-ship them. They're cute, and happy, and kind to each other. Their relationship feels very nearly tied up to me so I don’t find I seek for fic it.

I intensely ship her with Laira Rillak, because that relationship is so fun for me. There's so much potential for how their relationship could be together and how they might fit around each other. Also I really adored their chemistry in season 4, so that one is absolutely the ship of my heart right now. I love how they started out antagonistic and then ended with so much respect for each other.

My unpopular opinion about this character

I liked watching her journey from where she started to where she ended up. I don't think I would have connected with her as much if she'd been the first officer who became captain. How far she fell and how hard it was to come back really means so much, and it was narratively compelling to me. I love her in the future too, because she's what they needed at that time.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I'd love to see her on the Academy show for an episode or two, doing what she does. I also would have found her and Laira having a relationship on the show fascinating. It would have been a different show, but I'd be there for that.

I also hope she and Book had more than one kid.

Thanks for asking!