#and like. continue taking better care of myself in general so these issues don’t get any worse and i don’t do any more damage

[thequeenofthedisneyverse]

How to NOT write like Vivziepop guide!

Writing tips:

1. Don't treat SA/Rape as a joke. Seriously, it shouldn't be that hard. EX: In Helluva Boss; Spring Broken, Moxxie goes to talk to Verosika and her crew in hopes to get them to move her car. He gets SA'd as a result and we're supposed to see that as a joke.

I don't specifically remember the episode name, but Sir pentious asks Cherri if she wants to have sex with him but he then gets scared/nervous and says "BECAUSE I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH EVERYONE!!" or something like that. He then gets taken by a bunch of people into a room and he CLEARLY looks uncomfortable. Again, I suppose we're supposed to see that as a joke for some reason.

SA/Rape isn't funny, and you can offend tons of people writing it so carelessly. DON'T DO THAT!

2. If your characters come from a certain era, RESEARCH THAT ERA. Ex: Alastor was supposed to be a famous radio host in the 1920s (seeing as he died in 1933) when he was alive despite being a mixed (Black and white) man. Jim Crow laws existed in those times so Alastor couldn't have become a popular radio host unless he was white passing, which we don't know. Also, from what I got from @bump-inthe-night the first black radio personality in Louisiana was Vernon Winslow, known as Dr. Daddy-O, in 1949.

Also, from @bump-inthe-night - (her words were pasted here because I couldn't have said it better myself) Despite dying in 1947, Angel overdosed on PCP. This drug was discovered in 1926, and it started being utilized as a general anesthetic in the 1950s. PCP became a street drug in the 1960s and gained popularity in the 1970s. It's impossible for Angel to have overdosed on this drug when he was alive. RESEARCH. BEFORE. YOU. WRITE. THE. CHARACTER.

This is also from @/bump-inthe-night. Sir Pentious died in 1888, but he’s wearing a shoulder-padded suit. Shoulder pads, invented in 1877, were used in football uniforms. They didn’t cross over into fashion and become popular until the 1930s. Sir Pentious shouldn’t be wearing a shoulder-padded suit, and neither should Vox, who died in the 1950s, when this started falling out of style.

3. Don't victimize characters that obviously shouldn't be victimized. Example: Stolas.

I will tag the people who inspired this post and paste their stuff here because they say these things better than me.

@flower-boi16 says "So fucking what if Stolas was neglected as a child or had a mean wife? How does that relate to ANY of his actions he takes throughout the series??? It doesn’t excuse SHIT. Granted, the “this character’s trauma is not an excuse” argument is a kind of argument I’ve grown to be annoyed by due to how often it gets misused. Yes, a character’s backstory or trauma doesn’t excuse or justify their actions.

The issue arises though when the character’s bad actions are a direct response to that trauma and so it can make it look like your just ignoring major context for what lead to the character doing these actions just so you can label them as irredeemable. With Stolas, however, I have no hesitation in saying that whatever backstory and trauma he may have I genuinely don’t care because that trauma doesn’t matter to ANY of his actions.

The “his daughter doesn’t like him” defense doesn’t work because 1. Octavia is shown to still care for her father and is actually shown to be excited to spend time with him in Seeing Stars and 2. Octavia has a perfectly valid reason to dislike Stolas given how shitty of a father he is to her.

The “Stolas is well meaning/believes that Blitzo likes being treated like a sex toy” defense also doesn’t work when Stolas can very clearly see that Blitzo does NOT like being treated that way. Ffs Blitz was completely shocked and disgusted by Stolas’ sexual remarks on him on the phone in Loo Loo Land, Stolas can clearly see Blitz DOESN'T ENJOY THIS but continues flirting with him anyway. Anyone who is well-meaning can still see when they fucked up."

@floralcavern "Stolas is the epitome of writers thinking they wrote a deep character when they actually created the most shallowly written character of all time. Stolas receives no consequences, no call outs, no growth, because he gets the excuse of ‘he’s abused’ to not have to face anything bad happen to him. It’s infuriating how shielded he is by the writers."

4. Understand what your writing! This is also from @/floralcavern and I couldn't agree more. "And Helluva Boss didn’t need extremely deep characters. It started off as a comedy, where characters could do messed up, edgy shit because nothing is meant to be taken seriously. But then suddenly the show decides to become a super serious, soap opera drama?? It completely derails its original premise to be something completely different. The beginning of Helluva Boss and what we currently have are 2 completely different shows. And I’m not saying comedies can’t have depth. One of my favorite examples is Dan Da Dan! It’s literally a show about a guy whose dick was stolen by a ghost. And yet, the show writers know how to balance ridiculous comedy and storytelling with genuine, human moments. But Viv’s shows don’t have that balance. The show is hardly a comedy anymore and takes itself way too seriously, while also refusing to acknowledge actual things that need to be acknowledged."

5. This should be obvious but don't make male characters (or any characters for that matter) that are supposed to be gay call their sisters "hot" or "Sexy". Example: Andrelphus or whatever his name is. It comes off as extremely gross and really unnecessary. Vivziepop said he does that to make others think he's straight?????...Andrelphus was literally in the pride parade art. WTF VIV?!

So yeah, don't do that unless it's relevant to the plot. Like the characters have a secret incestual relationship or the incest is being pushed/forced onto the other sibling character or SOMETHING! And no, before you say it, Stella never looked comfortable being called attractive by her own brother.

5. Don't fetishize rape or have/hire people that work under you that do. It's as simple as that.

6. When writing serious topics such as SA, TREAT THE TOPIC SERIOUSLY!

7. Be mindful of stereotypes. I've learned (with the help of others pointing it out) that Angel Dust is a stereotype of gay men.

8. Call out your characters for their actions. Angel is shown to sexually harass other male characters with no call outs or apologies. Same can be said for Stolas.

I'm not sure of what else to add. If anyone else wants to add something, feel free to comment or reblog. Your words will help others a lot!

[rennyrose]

Need to ramble a bit about Livio in Stampede, have had thoughts tumbling around my head for a bit and need to put em out somewhere-

For a while I think I’ve been on the fence about the character that’s been portrayed for him so far in the anime- ill very readily admit I’m biased, as the manga version of him and Razlo I can easily say have been my favorite characters from any story I’ve experienced thus far and have been for quite a few years now.

As much as I joke or whine about his size in Stampede I think his design is fine on its own, it portrays what his character is supposed to be- a clean cut professional hitman/assassin that’s tied to this universe’s tech. I can also appreciate the concept of him constantly chasing after Wolfwood, I think there’s a lot that can be worked with there- but there’s an issue with the sense of his agency with that, which I’ll get into more.

It’s difficult not to compare Stampede to the manga, I understand that it’s supposed to be “its own thing”- but in regards to this specific topic I’m going to go into, imo, compared to the manga it’s objectively handled worse. (I also understand that being it’s an anime there is a greater time restraint to work with, and the episodes he was featured in are meant to have Wolfwood as the primary focus- at the end of the day LR are side characters)

The thing that easily gives me the biggest ick is was him attempting to “check out” at the end of ep. 7- actively suicidal and acting on impulse as a result of the rush of memories returning because of horrid acts either he or Razlo committed (this ramble isn’t about how Stampede portrayed Razlo in the brief .5 seconds he was there, given we don’t know for sure how Stargaze will handle him- but given how Liv was treated, I’m preparing myself to be very disappointed ((but open to being pleasantly surprised))

For me personally, one of the things that makes manga Liv so relatable is his passive suicidal nature, especially while being under Chapel in EOM. His general apathy and readiness to claim the status of being a victim can have someone easily argue that he is a bad person, and he doesn’t have much of a stance on whether he lives or dies. We do get hints of empathy from him (like killing the bad guy who was threatening the child from the orphanage and being willing to take the time to tell Wolfwood his story), but overall he believes his only purpose is to serve as sword and shield to the best of his abilities and does not care how others fare as a result, including himself. Quite frankly he more than likely would not be alive, either by his own hand or allowing someone to take his life if it weren’t for Razlo.

Part of this mindset of his remains even after volume ten, again I’ll refer to his quote referring to himself as a tool/weapon- while now having a purpose to live and go on, at no point does Liv himself state or portray a fear of dying. Regardless, his character development from having a victim mindset being turned into a sense of resolve and making choices to do better for himself and those around him is, quite frankly imo, the entire message that Trigun conveys.

Manga Livio is the precipice of the “blank ticket” metaphor- someone who was given the opportunity to start over, and made a choice to do better in spite of the actions he knowingly and readily committed prior.

Stampede Livio is unfortunately not that. From what we’ve seen his entire ability to choose at all was taken from him at some point. We’ve seen that he was a willing volunteer of EOM, and we’ve seen that he was working really hard to be on par with Wolfwood- but at some point it’s strongly implied that he was forced to commit atrocities that he wouldn’t normally have done by his own volition, and that the piece of tech he wears insures that he continues to do as instructed. There is a sort of horror that goes with that which in of itself is extremely interesting, but it doesn’t really flow with the message that Trigun intends to give. What can Livio learn or change from if it wasn’t “him” ever committing heinous acts or if his troubled past doesn’t continue to eat at him? What does he learn, or the main cast learn, if he was successful in committing suicide in a state of panic?

I honestly have no idea what to expect from Stargaze- I’m excited for it (although nervous) and I really hope they expand on the narrative for Liv, even if just a little bit. I can imagine it’ll be hard for the anime to make Liv be the precipice for the blank ticket metaphor again story-wise at this point, so I won’t be surprised if that turns out to be someone else.

[taxideermied]

I have really enjoyed seeing everyone’s species transition posts going around. I’ve wanted very much to make my own but I knew if I was going to write it all down, I’d have to temper it against what I could realistically accomplish so as to not upset myself.

Here are some of the obstacles I can identify that make certain kinds of species transition difficult presently.

Conflicting goals I am on the whole very unsure about doing anything that affects my appearance, even impermanently, and this is not at all helped by the fact that I want conflicting things out of a possible physical transition. Visible body hair is good for an elk, but is not really how I appear as an elf/maia or cetacean. Tattoos would be amazing but I struggle to find material or styles that would please “everyone” and I don’t think I could handle having a bunch of disparate, mis-matched pieces all over my body with no overall theme or cohesion. There are also a good deal of things I would like that I know are simply not possible or safe.

Familial judgement Despite being an adult I’m still in a place where I rely on my family quite a bit because of my chronic illnesses. I’m lucky enough to have a good relationship with them anyways, so I imagine I would still worry over their reactions even if I didn’t regularly need their assistance. I know it’s generally good to say “you’re an adult. Fuck them, who cares” but materially, if I did things that were drastic enough that they revoked their support, it’s very possible it would be detrimental to my well being both mentally and physically.

Upkeep I think this is the largest psychological barrier for me. There are so many things I would like to do but I know I just cannot because of the mental and physical requirements of maintaining them. I have dyed my hair a couple times (once in a semi permanent dye that washed out over a couple of months and turned from black to a really unfortunate off-brown green for most of it) but it is just a slog to keep up with. I can’t even get my hair cut yearly, let alone maintain a bleach and dye job every few weeks. I’ve had fine enough success keeping up with piercings thus far, but I hesitate to take on anything that has more serious risks of rejections or other complications. Certain makeup styles or contacts are things I could do occasionally, but not regularly.

With those issues identified, I’ve decided to split up my transition goals into “attainable now” and “long shot.” Long shot goals are things that likely aren’t going to happen until there are big changes to my physical condition and/or living situation, or are things that are nice to think about in an ideal world but probably won’t happen.

Attainable now

Take better care of hair and continue to let it grow out

Eat more vegetables and greens

Adhere to self identified ‘elf life principals’ which I can elaborate on in a separate post perhaps at some point.

Return to learning Sindarin

Improve swimming abilities/swim more

Learn more about local and native flora

Improve posture

Wear hoof shoes more

Find species affirming perfumes/fragrances

Improve self confidence

More bones/taxidermy around

More affirming jewelry. Most of my jewelry is vintage/secondhand, and I have some pieces that are super affirming to me but I don’t like to wear them constantly for risk of their breaking.

Long shot

Split tongue

Ear pointing surgery

Dye hair a “natural” red OR

Dye hair silver and black

Return to dressage and show jumping

Fullbody tats if I can decide on a coherent design and artist that fits my vision.

More nose piercings, and maybe lip piercings if I can land on some I like that won’t cause dental problems

Acquire (custom?) elf-ish robes for everyday wear

Digitigrade stilts (very unlikely given my balance problems)

Acquire and be able to swim with full monofin + “mermaid” tail combo

Some kind of custom cane that feels elf-y but is still practical for my everyday needs

I’m sure there’s more that I haven’t considered but :> I think this is a good enough list for now, and writing it down has helped me set some good goals!

[transfemme-shelterdog]

one particular aspect of transandrophobia I experienced that I feel like I don’t see get talked about often is the way that people, and in my case my mother especially, act so fucking possessive over what they perceive to be a young girl’s femininity. my mom was accepting of queerness in general, but when it was her own child coming out as a boy she couldn’t handle it because she felt like I was taking something away from her. I was being treated like an object that existed to fulfill my mother’s expectations, including all of the gendered bullshit she had projected onto me. Even once she “accepted” that I was trans she still made everything about her feelings. She was constantly guilt-tripping me, telling me how she missed playing with my long hair, or that she was sad I would never wear a dress at my wedding, crying about my name change because she felt like I was discarding the first thing she ever gave me. She constantly made subtle attempts to push me back into femininity, like buying me “masculine” womens clothes instead of just letting me shop in the mens section, or pointing out anything about me that could be considered feminine as a sort of “gotcha!” And even when I was socially transitioning, she would get really angry every time I talked about wanting to transition medically, intentionally delaying my transition and forcing me to continue to go through a puberty that was a living hell for me.

Luckily she eventually worked through most of this when she was forced to confront how suicidal dysphoria was making me, and when she saw how much happier I was when I could actually start to feel and look like myself. But it still took literal years for her to start seeing me as my own person, who could be trusted to assert my own identity and whose happiness and comfort was more important than what she wanted or expected me to be.

I know that non-transmasculine people also go through similar experiences, where their parent(s) feel like they’re owed a particular gender expression and force them to perform it or punish them if they don’t. But for me it was very specifically not just about me being gnc or queer - my parents would have had far less issue with that, to the point where when I first tried to come out as nonbinary they just assumed that meant I was bi or a lesbian and didn’t really seem to care. It was specifically about me being trans, and about the fact that I no longer identified as a girl, when things started to get really shitty for me.

To all my fellow transmascs: Your body and identity are your own. You do not owe anyone femininity. You do not owe anyone anything. You do not have to perform for anyone. You deserve to express yourself freely and without shame, and the world is better with you in it <3

.

[canonizzyhours]

I wish we could, as a fandom, be more normal about how we treat people with character opinions that don’t line up with ours. I wish we could be better about walking away when we’re angry, acknowledging when our issues are getting the best of us, and recognizing that the people saying stupid shit are probably going through things too.

Let me elaborate with a story that’s too personal to relate off anon.

I hate Izzy. Have done since I watched season 1 back in 2022. I had an abusive father and my “friend” in college was abusive/sexually coercive, and even though I love the show, Izzy triggers the shit out of me because he’s reading from the same script as them. Season 2 was even worse when it looked like the show forgot how he behaved in season 1/his dehumanization of Ed/his continued lying. He was taken in by a crew that he never apologized to or tried to be good to, and it was SO similar to the way people in my life managed to make themselves blameless in the eyes of our communities. Even worse, it was like Izzy fans were coming out of the woodwork to gush over him and complain about how awful and abusive ED was!

I knew I couldn’t interact with people who thought Izzy was a faultless victim of Ed’s abuse without losing my mind or being a dick, so I didn’t. I still don’t. I block and ignore because that’s the best way for me to protect myself AND it’s the best way to avoid being the worst to Izzy fans. I bitch about Izzy to people who agree with me but I don’t go after the Canyon.

When I see absolutely shit takes that go on about Izzy being selfless and Good, Actually or blame all of the toxicity between Izzy and Ed on Ed alone, it’s tempting to make generalizations. It’s tempting to post baity responses along the lines of, “Anyone who thinks that Izzy’s not abusive lost the plot. I’m worried about them and the people around them. If they can’t tell that Izzy’s abusive, then they’re probably abusive themselves or AT LEAST trapped in an abusive situation.”

I don’t do that. I don’t know those people or their trauma. Maybe Ed reminds them of their abusers and they’re either not self-aware enough to realize that or just don’t care about how that could impact their view of the characters. Whatever their damage is, I’m only going to make the situation worse if I reply. Even if I reply in a tactful, thoughtful way, what’s the point in having a conversation? Odds are, we’re only going to end up ruining each other’s days.

I’m not perfect, but I’m trying. I wish we could all try to be more thoughtful about how we interact with and talk about the other people in this fandom. Maybe there’d be less hostility if we kept to our corners, avoided personal attacks, got in touch with the parts of ourselves that are still hurt, and recognized the potential hurt in others.

We should definitely keep talking shit about bad character interpretations though! That’s fun and sexy of us, I think.

#342.

[pommunist]

I don't wanna say this under my own name because I'm friends with too many Quackity fans, but god, everything about his actions just makes me think that what he cares about is just avoiding legal trouble and protecting his own public image

And maybe also about his friends to be fair

(I mean to his credit, I don't think he cares about money either)

He says he's doing all this for the viewers, but I guess that doesn't include the viewers who care about the French streamers or the French characters

And I don't see any hint of him genuinely caring about the workers. This is not how you treat someone you care about. He keeps implying that he can't talk to anyone because of "leaks" but what the fuck could be so bad about the "leaks" that it justifies this kind of disrespect? Why is this secrecy more important than the needs of the workers?

Nobody's asking him to reveal his biggest secrets to the workers, everyone is just asking for him to TALK to them at least, and hearing them out

He also says he can't talk because he doesn't want to make false promises, then just say that! Again, nobody asked him to promise them a job in the future, we just want him to be honest and respectful! Just tell them directly that you don't know yet and listen to their thoughts on the situation! Ask them how you can alleviate the inconvenience if it's within your means! Just talk to them like they're fellow adults who are capable of having a reasonable conversation! Because they are!

The union mentioned that some of the workers had basically been told by management that they should be grateful to be allowed to work for Quackity Studios and ngl, I wonder if this is not only the view of higher management but of Quackity himself too. That's the question I keep asking myself and not daring to say out loud: does he see the lower level workers as just fans who should be happy they were even allowed to participate at all?

- 🐧

First I never mind anonymous asks so no problem dont worry !

Second I tbh don’t want to assume what Q true intentions really are because heavy speculation isn’t productive and can lead to more stress in general. However I think that we can agree that he isn’t doing it all for the money, given that we’ve always known QSMP was never and problably even supposed to be a profitable thing (just the hosting and translation costs alone point to this).

That said, I do agree that everything that has been done up to this point and since Lea started to reveal things seems to be more damage control and trying to avoid legal issues than actually trying to be fair to the workers. This isn’t even speculation if you consider the sudden firing of Twitter admins and the silent towards all the other admins.

Obviously, when you’re a company or an individual you wanna avoid a lawsuit at all cost. It is a logical business move, morally I don’t agree with that mindset ofc, and I also feel like it’s a misunderstanding of the intentions of most of the admins.

I don’t know any of them personally but none of them, so far, have publicly said they wanted to take the legal route or even sue Qstudios. In fact, most if not all of them have expressed their love of the project and wished for it to continue with better working conditions. Some admins also said they didn’t care about getting paid, that volunteer work was fine if they had done it without the stress and pressure. Side note if it ever comes out that some admins want to take the legal route to make their rights be recognised and be compensated then my full support to them.

As if he is doing all this for preserving his image (i say IF) then what a terrible job he’s doing. I hope I’m making very clear that QSMP and Q’s image with french speakers fans (and non fans, and other French Ccs) is in literal ruins.

Also I feel like there was a genuine wish to add different cultures, I’m talking specifically about the French and BRs here, but an underestimating of the work it takes to actually merge people from different backgrounds and that it goes beyond just putting CCs from all over the world on minecraft with a translator. The fact that there was no FR, PT or KR speaking upper admin at all in the team baffles me to this day.

Worst thing is that we probably only know like a fraction of the overwork, miscommunication and intimidation that went on behind the scenes. Heart aches for all of those who went through it. All the love to them ♥️

[anoctoberpepper]

So a quick update: Over these next two months I’m going to be putting effort into original fiction so my AO3 posting will likely be slowing down. Disappearing off the face of the planet is pretty normal for me (I’m a chronic Discord ghoster 😭), but I will do my best to stay active here.

Please continue to hit me up with any of your favorite DnDads headcanons and ideas! I still definitely want to talk and write in this fandom! 

Sappy love under the cut. TL;DR I’m insane and you all have made me feel seen. 

So I’ve had a weird five years, the middle of which involved being hospitalized for the first (and god willing only) time, for mental health issues. I had a major depressive disorder that turned into a late in life diagnosis of “Schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type with mixed features” (I was actively delusional for 8 months, fun times). I have frilly diagnoses around that including generalized anxiety disorder, and an unspecified personality disorder. I say this because I don’t get to say it all that often. In my day-to-day life I have to keep that part of me tucked away so deep down that bringing it out to see the light of day hurts. Even though it’s a big part of how I relate to the world and it genuinely affects every day of my life. 

My closest friends barely understand my diagnosis. It’s hard to talk about. I either feel embarrassed or I’m worried that giving details will make people uncomfortable. Or maybe they’ll pity me, or worse they might not trust me anymore. Schizophrenia and Bipolar have hefty stigmas. So I don’t talk about it in any detail. 

But I need to talk about it. 

I was reading an original fiction piece I wrote before my diagnosis and realized that the main character, who was under the thrall of some violent magic at the time, was feeling exactly like how I would describe mixed mania now. It told me two things, 1) I was feeling horrible for a lot longer than I thought, and 2) I’ve been trying to describe it through my writing for just as long. 

I’ve written a lot over the last ten-ish years, and as all writers do I’ve tossed some of that writing into the void of agents' inboxes hoping for a bite. (I have received half a bite, one time). I write because I want to understand myself and because I love stories, but there’s something unique about having someone validate what you put on the page. Like “yeah. I get it, I feel that too.” 

I want to be able to yell my words to the world so someone will yell back. 

You all have yelled back. 

Genuinely and truly with all of my heart I could not have asked for a better gift this last year than having people feel seen by my writing.

I’m finally pulling my way back up from a really deep pile of crap and part of that journey was being able to write about Lark and Grant and Terry. Them learning to ask for what they need, and taking care of themselves and letting themselves be taken care of has taught me how to do it. 

I’ve found words to describe the mumbling voices I hear when I forget to take my meds, and the crawling-skin feeling of mania. I learned how to ask for things even if it’s as stupid as “can you walk to the kitchen with me so I don’t have to go through the process of making a bagel by myself.” Having characters take care of themselves has trained me to take care of myself. Utterly ridiculous, but absolutely profound. 

Another part of that journey I must mention is having people say, “yeah, that’s what it’s like for me too. I hear you. I see you. We’re in this together.” 

It is a gift I didn’t know I needed. People don’t usually talk about their mental health issues and when they do it’s generally not in a way I can relate to. I’m not really textbook anything, but I am some of everything. Being able to describe the pain of random mental health things and having other people say they’ve felt that way too has made me feel less alone. 

I don’t know how to end this rant, only that I would be remiss if I didn’t say I sincerely appreciated every comment and interaction I’ve had over the last year with you all. I feel comforted in a way I never thought I would. I feel joy in participating in this community, and a deep feeling of hope that things will keep getting better (and then worse and then better again). 

I love you all. Thank you for everything, and I hope to be back up posting as soon as I get some original fictioning done. 

(Or maybe I’ll get sick of trying to write my own stuff and I’ll be back here in a week. Who knows.) 

P.S. I’m still planning to work on Picking up the Pieces, it just might be slower than my usual pace

[atlashaikmannews]

First Weekly News Update Jan 20- Feb 2

I will paste a google doc link below I you would prefer to read it that way otherwise I will post it below that link.

Weekly News

Disclosure: Most of my writing will be very opinionated and based on my morals, you are not obligated to read or agree with me however I am sharing the facts I know and then continuing on the statements based around my opinions. I will also be posting links to sites, pictures, and videos at the end of this document. If you have any topics I have missed or you would suggest I talk about in the next update please let me know. 

Please take care of yourselves and I wish you all only the best and encourage all to make this the year to study and better yourself with what resources we have online, fact check everything even me, I will always do my best to give the info I can find after double checking myself, but I am not the end all source. Watch out for suspicious news sites, strange baseless statements, and if out in public please regardless of gender, race, or anything else make sure you have something to defend yourself.

 This was also written on a computer so I will be spacing it out for easier reading on phones and tablets. This was also not written in any particular order, I wrote things as I found them out. I apologize if you do not like it.I also will watch just about any news source that anyone wants me to look into that isn’t Fox News and anything obviously satire, I swear that causes more brain rot than any social media video.

Emergency Updates:

75% of farm workers have not shown up due to recent raids in search for undocumented workers. 

Without 75% of our workers we will be seeing food supply disruption. Crops will go unharvested leading to shortages of fresh produce, grains, and other agriculture products. Livestock care could become severely neglected potentially causing health issues or reduced production, examples of what we might start to lose are, milk, eggs, and meat products.

This sudden labor shortage will cause intense produce waste causing produce in the fields to rot and cause the soil to become “sick” if the people of the U.S were to step in and take these jobs we might be able to avoid that. But U.S citizens are often unwilling to take on these jobs due to the high physical demand and the low pay. Since 50-70% of our agricultural workforce is attributed to immigrants this does not bode well for our country.

 We will see supply start to increasingly drop and inflation sly rocket for these products. It is likely we will see junk food products lower, forcing many people who struggle financially to make these choices which will affect the health of a large amount of our populace in the long run. Some officials are asking people to invest in buying their own gardening supplies while prices are still low. Due to this food shortage we will likely see an increase in people buying gardening supplies for both indoor and outdoor growth. This increase will eventually cause inflation for these products as well so remember learning to make compost and repurposing old items is always a good method when money is tight.

 You can even use old tupperware containers to grow plants or at least start their seeds. Many garden centers have a recycle section where old damaged plant pots are free for the taking, damage doesn’t mean useless. So please do research and it is recommended to grow what you use most, getting other seeds is good but don’t overwhelm yourself with multiple new plants at once.

Inspector Generals Fired Overnight

On the 24th of January 2025 during a late night purge Trump has fired 12 Inspector Generals, normally to do this a president would have to wait 30 days but he has done it overnight claiming it was a “Standard” and “Very common thing to do”. He said this while being interviewed on Air Force One as reported by CBS. These Inspector Generals are in charge of investigating waste, fraud, and abuse. 

They are a critical factor in maintaining ethics across the Federal Government. Without them this allows Trump to hire loyalists into key positions in the Federal Government. He continues to do things similar to these late at night to keep it out of the eyes of the people. This decision is already being legally challenged due to the violation of the 30 day wait period but people are concerned this case will be shoved aside as Trump has been allowed to ignore a lot of important paperwork already and has been saved from jail time before. 

Republican Congressman wants a Third Trump Term

Republican Congressman Andy Ogles of Tennessee has introduced a resolution to amend the U.S Constitution to allow Trump a third term. However this has been designed in a way that previous presidents like Obama would not be allowed a third term. What do I mean by it wouldn’t apply to Obama? It has been designed so that a president can have a third term if his or her previous terms weren’t consecutive. Since Obama had a back to back presidency he would not be allowed to run again nor would any other back to back Presidents.

Some people are comparing this to the methods Putin has used to remain in power so long and how he has even introduced another amendment that will allow him to remain president of his country until 2036. 

Non-Binary and Transgender people can no longer leave the country.

On January 20th 2025 Trump signed an Executive Order mandating that the Federal Government only recognize two sexes, male and female. This has already caused outcry but on top of that legal paperwork complications. In 2021 a new marker was added to passports; an “X” marker would be used to represent trans or non-binary passport owners. Since Trump signed that executive order last Monday the “X” marker has now been removed and by order of Marco Rubio the Secretary of State directed staff to suspend all applications requesting an “X” marker or changes to the existing sec marker on passports. While this won’t affect those without passports or those without other legal papers regarding their gender it still does not bode well long term.

Elon’s Controversial Gesture

Now let us be honest with ourselves, we all know what he did. To lie to ourselves and make excuses is an insult to our intelligence. It’s not a roman salute, he’s not Roman, he is not from Rome, and we are not in Rome, so this already is an ignorant defensive argument. If you look it up the “Roman Salute” is also referred to as the “Fascist Salute” due to it’s long frowned upon history so I will briefly go over it. The salute was believed to have been a traditional Roman greeting however there is no actual historical text to support this statement. The Salute is actually attributed to a painting named “The Oath of Horatii” by  Jacques-Louis David in 1784 which is 1,308 years after the Roman society fell.

 The next people to actually use it were Mussolini and Hitler. “In 1925, as Mussolini began his fascitization of the state, the salute was gradually adopted by the regime, and by December 1, 1925, all state civil administrators were required to use it.” (Wiki). Hitler made the salute required by the Nazi party and it is mostly recognized as the Nazi salute rather than a Roman Salute the same way the Nazi symbol used to be a buddhist symbol. Symbols can be changed when used by horrible people, to try and say now that Elon’s hand motion was not one such salute is moronic. 

Other excuses have also been made for Elon, such as him having “Aspergers” which is a term that is no longer used as 10 years ago the term was changed due to it being associated with a Nazi. Asperger was a man who was part of the Child Euthanzia Program. It was a term that was used to classify “high functioning” autistic people who were useful for slave labor in the Holocaust. 

It has also been noted as a faulty diagnosis criteria, which is why we have the mindset of ‘high’ and ‘low’ functioning autism despite much evidence and research suggesting that is nowhere near how autism works. People excuse him doing that salute as saying he has “Aspergers” implying he is not mentally there enough to know what he did was wrong yet somehow these same people refer to him as the smartest man in the world due to his successful businesses. On top of this despite being one of the richest people in the world, rich enough to afford an actual diagnosis, he is self diagnosed. We have no official paperwork to prove he is autistic only his word in his own defense.

There have also been statements saying he was giving his heart to the people. It is socially recognized that there are various other symbols to present such a statement and none of them come close to a Nazi salute. There is even video evidence from a conference Elon went to that he knows the proper “I give my heart to you” motion. He formed the heart symbol with his fingers at his chest before extending both hands out the the crowd at chest height. He is a grown man fully aware of what he is doing and that was a fascist salute. 

The Collision Tragedy

Unfortunately as we all know about the tragic crash between a commercial flight and a USA Black Hawk. It is with my deepest sincerity that those who have passed are able to find peace in whatever afterlife there may be, there were many lives taken from us too soon. My heart also goes out to their families and those who survived the incident. But I unfortunately must also address the absolutely vile and rancid methods and statements Trump used to describe this tragedy.

 Firstly he has blamed this all on ‘DEI” and Democrats, to which he provided no evidence to back up his statements neither verbal or physical. It shows a sheer lack of decorum and intelligence that we used to have as a nation when previous presidents addressed a tragedy.  Below will be a link to a video and article regarding the interviews, but if you don’t wish to watch it right now I will provide the video transcript below.

Transcript:

Reporter: We don’t even yet know the names of the 67 people who were killed, and you are blaming democrats and DEI policies and air traffic control and seemingly the member of the US military who was flying that Black Hawk helicopter. Don’t you think you’re getting ahead of the investigation right now? 

Trump: No, I don’t think so at all. I don’t think, were the names of the people, you mean the names of the people that are on the plane? You think that’s going to make a difference? 

Reporter: (she speaks but he talks over her) Does it comfort their families to hear you blame DEI policies?

Trump: (what he says over her) They are, they are a group of people that have lost their lives. (she stops speaking and he continues) if you want a list of the names we can give you that, we’ll be giving that soon, in coordination with American Airlines. We’re in coordination, very strongly, very obviously, with the military. But I think that’s not a very smart question. 

Reporter: But are you blaming (she gets cut off)

Trump: (cuts her off to say) I’m surprised coming from you.

The clip cuts to another one.

Reporter: I’m trying to figure out how you can come to the conclusion right now that diversity had something to do with this crash? 

Trump: Because I have common sense okay and unfortunately, a lot of people don’t 

It cuts to another clip

Reporter: As the president came out here and was casting blame, one thing I noted was that there are still bodies being pulled from the water of the Potomac right now. We know from officials that we heard from earlier that, that rescue and recovery operation is very much still underway in some very difficult conditions, that first responders were dealing with last night. 

Transcript:

Reporter: Have you spoken to any of the families of the victims of the plane crash?

Trump: I don’t want to comment on that. 

Reporter: Do you have a plan to go visit the site?

Trump: I haven’t, I have a plan to visit, not the site because what is, you tell me. What’s the site? The water? You want me to go swimming? I don’t have a plan to do that, but I will be meeting with some people that were very badly hurt with their family member of course. Obviously, but I will be meeting with some of the families, yeah. 

End of Clip.

The whole thing is just, I wouldn’t dare say childish because I have met children more sympathetic and polite than this grown man, but it is outright vile empty words. To blame it on something completely baseless without facts to back it up? Disgraceful if anyone else did that MAGA would be throwing a temper tantrum, but this? They agree and this is horrid. On top of it all to make that sarcastic comment about swimming in the water? You can handle a little wet and cold. Think about what these poor people have just gone through, fire, scorching pain, the fear of falling, a sudden horrific air based collision, only to be dead before hitting the water or to die in it going from extreme heat and horror to a cold and wet darkness. He is a wretched man and this country is a pack of fools to have allowed him to go into office and I am not blaming the people who voted Kamalla, despite her flaws that women is a saint compared to the rot that soaks that man’s every waking moment. 

I blame MAGA, I blame third party voters who thought that was a good idea when we know damn well it has only ever truly been between two parties for decades, and I blame those who willingly chose not to vote. Not those who physically couldn’t get there or were unable to mail in ballots, or were unable due to the chaos of this voting season, I myself am concerned my vote counted for nothing because they wanted me to vote in two different places, which of course you cannot, and my name was spelled incorrectly at both locations. But to look at the numbers in this last election? It was an absolute nightmare. We now have a president who makes blatantly useless allegations while we have distraught families lined up out in the cold just waiting for the corpse of their loved one(s) to be given to them. 

We cannot allow this man to continue to use horrible events for his agenda. This is not a leader, this is a coward, a failure, and a fascist. He is already dragging us down as a nation, we have left so many valuable organizations that tie us to the rest of the world and this is what he focuses on doing. Surrounding the tragic deaths of people who will now unfortunately be forever associated with his absurd statements. I will never be able to express how much I loathe who he is and what I fully expect he will do to the rest of our people and our country. 

Sources:

https://www.theguardian.com/us

https://meidasnews.com/news

I sincerely apologize for not being longer. It is hard to do this by myself so please enjoy the other sources I use for news reports with larger teams. As this is my first post any and all advice is welcome thank you.

Atlas Haikman

[kaycode1999]

can I get a match up for mha?

im a pretty hyper, blunt and expressive person. Im loud and usually kind of physically aggresive with my friends/famiky, as its my favorite way to be playful with those i love. Im a super spontaneous person, as my energy can be night and day depending on how im feeling. While im usually pretty open to new people and experiances, i can get overwhelmed very easily. When im angry im pretty snippy and short with others, ans need a moment to cool down before i have constructive converaation or rational thinking back. When im upset i very much shut down, and im not great with being emotionally vulnerable, but i am very aware of this fact and have been told im very emotionally mature with how i handle negative emotions as ive gotten better. While i can come off as ditzy, Im a very analytical person when it comes to the details around me, especially with people(my friends have teased me and called me sherlock with how scary i am with the little things i notice lol). I can be very sarcastic and arguementarive, to the point those around me think im trying to butt heads, however it comes from a genuine excitement towards combative discussion. I love methodical engagement, and can be quite short tempered when people arent capable of matching intellectual engagement for activities and conversation. I can be VERY stubborn as well, which(while bad in some social situations) is why im capable of pushing through very difficult tasks(have also been told that others find my “determination” inspiring as i handle pain well and enjoy pushing myself). In summary my greatest strengths are emotional intelligence, book smarts and my stubborness. My greatest weakneses are my lack of respect for myself, and my general insecurity.new

I do have diagnosed adhd, insomnia and anxiety issues if that helps with anything. Im also an entp in the myer briggs test if thats worth mentioning

im female, and go by she/her. Although honestly what people call me really doesnts bother me. As far as i know for my sexuality Im pan. Gender really doesnt matter to me i just find all people attractive.

my aestetic is all over the place tbh. Its always atleast nature relevant, but depending on the day i either look like a forest witch, a goblin, a hippy or a cottage core maidennew

for hobbies i love to draw and craft! Im a huge collector, and live for anything involving creative expression. Im also a part of a theatre group and love acting.

as for my type, i like people with a little more meat on their bones. Im usually pretty adaptive to all kinds of personalities, but im attracted to rmotional maturity and kindness. I love those who show empathy and aupport to others. (My long since crush has been fatgum lol)

for the love of everything in this world, please dont drag me into any of the todoroki family, i aint got time for that drama

Well you’re probably gonna be really happy because

I match you with

Fatgum

Hyper and expressive works well with him because he is generally an outgoing and expressive too

I don’t think he minds blunt, it’s more about honesty

As long as you’re honest with him he’ll respect it

He’s a big guy and loudish too so you have that in common

When he’s in his fat form he’s basically impossible to hurt so it doesn’t matter if you’re a little “ physically aggressive with him”

He loves a little spontaneity

He’s very in tune with your mood and energy level so he can tell your energy level/how you’re feeling

If you’re to the point where you’re getting angry/snippy or overwhelmed he completely understands the need to take a moment to calm down. Do that all you need to he’ll wait for you to take your time decompressing

He is very caring and sweet so he will help you with being emotionally vulnerable

He does think you handle negative emotions better as you continue to improve and will definitely commend you on your progress

Because he is big and more outspoken people tend to think he’s not as smart as he is so he definitely understands

He will never think of you as ditzy. He thinks you’re very smart and astute. He is also smarter than he lets on so he doesn’t want anyone to feel like they are not smart

I think he comes to understand that you are excited about discussion

I think he does find your ability to push through admirable

He definitely wants you to respect yourself and to be confident in yourself. He will compliment you all the time

Insomnia and anxiety are difficult to deal with and he wants to be there for you through it, he’ll also help you find some things to combat this no matter what that entails. If it’s alternative medicines, doctor’s appointments/medicine, therapy, etc. he’ll help you and be there through it all

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hi mbti-notes, an INTP here. Lately I have encountered a situation which I couldn’t determine whether it is Ne indulgence and I lose track of my introverted functions or if there are other issues behind the surface. I think it would be better to receive some comment on it and I wish you could help.

I have been concentrating myself on academic results more than I used to, I think it is partly out of the urge to strive for a better future, another part of it is that I feel like I cannot fall behind my classmates as I don’t want to seem incompetent to the people around me. This idea grew stronger after my mother claimed that I would end up being a useless member of society because I didn’t have a “proper” attitude towards my academic results. I could be taking her words too seriously but I keep thinking I should prove her wrong. When there’s a task I could mimic an unhealthy ENTJ unconsciously and temporarily. I become hasty, impatient, judgemental, I overlook details so I can get thing done within the least possible amount of time, shut away the monologue I always have in my mind to focus on what I’m doing, disregard others’ opinion because I think my idea is the best. I read theories that a person could act like their shadow when they are stressful, it seems like what I experienced.

At the same time, I spent a lot of energy on socialising with my classmates. I enjoy it at some point, they are interesting people and I think I should pay more attention to them, but when I got time to reflect alone afterwards, I feel fatigued by all the social interactions. After I returned home, all that I am left with is tiredness and I don’t want to speak with anyone anymore, every single sound I hear could frustrate me even if they are simply words of care. I feel a need for rest, but when I do rest I binge watch repetitive Mary Sue stories that pop up on my social media feeds. I know they do not convey deeper meanings, but I am becoming addicted to these meaningless stories that do not require any true thoughts to process and I could shut down my mind.

I believed I maintained a good work-life balance, and this is a good way of life I should continue, but now as I took advice from my friend and spend time on long novels I could truly enter a flow state within, I think I actually overemphasised on external validation and failed to see what I really needed. Returning to the original question, it seemed like I was escaping reality with unhealthy Ne that keeps me wasting time on unproductive things, exploiting my energy to seek out ‘new’ information that are actually repetitive and superficial, forcing myself to open up Fe even when I actually wanted space for myself; but I am not entirely sure about my statement. Thanks for your time and effort, any insights that could be drawn from it are appreciated.

-----------------------

Generally speaking, if you believe you're experiencing Fe grip in part because of misusing Ne, then you ought to develop Ne and learn to use it more appropriately, consult the Type Dev Guide.

It seems you are always being pulled around by things outside you, such as your mother, your friends, or those mary sue stories. What does that mean? Perhaps it means you have little substance and you use those things as a poor substitute. You are like a leaf being blown around by the wind, with no control over where you go.

The remedy to being driven only by extrinsic factors is to nurture intrinsic motivation. Who are you really? What do you really want out of life? What are your values? What do you stand for? What do you have to offer? What about you matters? What greater aspirations or ideals do you commit yourself to? If you can't answer any of these questions, it means you haven't gotten very far in development and, as a result, don't have any meaningful direction or purpose in life. When you have no real identity as a person, how can you be anything but an easy victim of circumstance?

If you want to take more control over life and have a better sense of direction, then start by committing yourself to more meaningful activities, especially activities that would allow you to make the best use of the gifts you've been granted. Yes, there is a difference between "rest" and "escape". You speak as though you have no control over those repetitive activities, but you made the choice to do them, and you're now starting to realize that the "reward" is actually harmful to you. You could choose better activities instead. To realize more of your potential and grow as a person often involves giving up immediate gratification for a greater goal and making tough decisions about how best to spend your time.

[baycitystygian]

well I guess it’s about time I made an about post!

I’ve been on this website for like six years or so and I never really made a proper intro post to my blog, so here’s a couple basics for new friends & visitors just dropping by!

-heather williams, she/her, 26, neurodivergent as fuuuuuck but not officially diagnosed with specifics yet (although I’m almost certain I have autism, there’s a possibility I have ADHD or both? looking into a diagnosis, but definitely ND in general)

my sideblog for my current hyperfixation/crush/hall pass is @heather-willz and it is all Paul Williams all the timeeeee 💕this is not to subtract Paul posts from this blog but rather to add more Paul posts to this beautiful world that allowed this phenomenal composer to flourish (can you tell I’m delirious as I’m typing this)

-if you’re a minor and you like a post of mine, that’s cool- but I post whatever I feel like so be warned, I don’t censor myself and I do have a wide range in my sense of humor so there will probably be adult themes™️ on here so I don’t recommend sticking around- or do so but only at your own risk! I also don’t interact with minors and I’ve always listed my age just in case it matters to someone happening across my blog.

-I generally don’t tag often unless A) I’m talking in the tags or B) it’s a hyperfixation that I want to go back to/keep organized in tags on my blog, if you’re a mutual and there’s anything you’d like me to tag that you filter/blacklist please send me an anon in the ask box letting me know! I’m happy to tag anything that might be an issue but I don’t really know if anything specific is a sensitive topic to a mutual unless they tell me and you can absolutely stay anonymous about it- do not hesitate if there’s any way I can be a better moot ❤️

-big procrastinator and very sporadic on here (even though I generally use this app as my morning paper) so I can take awhile to get to asks & sometimes I forget altogether, sometimes I save them in drafts then forget to check my drafts & I’m very bad about that and I am SO sorry cause it’s genuinely never personal 😅same with messages but I’m not unfriendly, I just have raging executive dysfunction

-I block liberally over political reasons, TERFS are blocked on sight, any blog I happen across that’s said/reblogged something that might generally be upsetting to me and, of course, bots get blocked too- I don’t engage in discourse so if you’re a TERF, right winger, or just a general troll just keep moving along or block me cause I just go right for the block button anyway. any hate has no home here, UNLESS it’s hate for bigots or cops ✨

-I check blogs of people I follow but I don’t necessarily check OP’s so if I’ve accidentally reblogged something from a shitty person (“OP is a terf,” etc) just slide in the ask hole and let me know cause the odds are almost 100% that I’m unaware

-I am a continually broke ass bitch that feels guilty every time I see a donation post and I feel awful every time I don’t donate because I literally cannot keep my own shit together. As a result I generally don’t reblog donation posts or any call-to-action posts, partially also because my blog is really for my own entertainment and I use tumblr as a lighthearted escape from the world. which has become increasingly difficult as of late but I still want to keep my blog as just fun posts or anything I find useful. I do care, a lot in fact… but it’s complicated.

-I don’t post original posts terribly often, mostly just reblog anything that tickles my fancy but vintage fashion/shows/music and rocks are my big ones on here. most original posts are just top-of-my-head nonsense or stuff I’m hyperfixating on

-if you’re a fan of Paul Williams, Barenaked Ladies, Bucks Fizz, Bay City Rollers/Rabbitt, Flo & Eddie, Howard Jones, Bowling For Soup, Wings (the TV sitcom but I’m also a Paul McCartney & Wings encyclopedia if that’s more your speed), Phantom of the Paradise, The New Monkees, or Caroline In The City, those are all recent-ish interests of mine that have almost NO fandom so like. you’re automatically my friend now if you like any of those 😂

…I think that about covers everything I wanted to say, so sit back, relax, and have fun in my hodgepodge of a social media home ✨

[finchfest]

food for thoughts

tw: eating disorder mention

the thing with eating disorders is they crawl up on you faster than expected. an eating disorder doesn’t start out like that, it’s not a full blown issue until the main beast of it has reared its head and you’re already fully entangled up with it. it starts off slow. like any other hunter, it starts subtle. lingering in the shadows before striking in earnest.

it starts off as a seed of doubt. a look too long in the mirror, a second too long zoomed in on the pixels of a photo of you. is that how i look? a look back and forth from what you see reflected to the body below you. i used to look so…

different. skinnier. nicer. prettier. my clothes used to fit better. more flattering. more comfortable.

the roots have grown. before you know what’s happening, you’re stepping on a scale. you’re looking at that number reflected below you and feeling your heart drop all the way into your stomach. when did that happen? when did that number change? more importantly, how did it take me so long to notice?

from there it’s mostly downhill. it’s hard to fight your appetite initially. it starts as an “i’m not hungry today” when in reality you can very, very much feel the rumble of your stomach in your bones. but it becomes easier. once you start not eating, it’s pretty easy to continue. first it’s skipping just lunch. pretty soon it’s breakfast, too. not far after is dinner. from that point it’s just snacks to stave off fainting with unyielding waves of guilt as the main entree. and each time, you find a way to justify or dance around the issue. you become incredibly skilled in diverting the topic when asked if and what you ate.

i’m sure calorie counting comes in at some point soon. i’m not there yet. but i feel it brewing. i know i shouldn’t, that what i’m doing isn’t healthy and my body needs food to function but i just don’t want to. i find i don’t have much of an appetite in general anymore. it’s become comfortable, almost, sitting in this hunger. familiar. safe.

it doesn’t help with each journey back to the scale either. seeing that number go down and down and down. i’m down 6 pounds already! the breath of fresh air. it’s an elation i haven’t felt before. it’s a unique kind of rush. seeing your face slim up again. your clothes fit the way you want them to again. it encourages you in your pursuit of emptiness.

it’s these things that make it easy to ignore the blaring warning signs. the feeling faint. the feverish symptoms. everything warning you to stop when all you can hear is keep going!

i know this isn’t healthy. i am acutely aware. and there’s a part of me — the part that comes from having been in therapy for my entire upbringing, the part that’s seen my friends in high school struggle with eating disorders, the part that knows how bodies in general work — that says all the things you’re supposed to say. you deserve to eat. your worth isn’t defined by your weight. you need to take care of yourself. you owe it to your body to give it the nutrients it deserves. but i don’t feel like listening. every time i contemplate trying to eat again, those thoughts dissipate in the blink of an eye. they disappear when i think about how i used to look when i was younger, when i put on a pair of pants and they don’t fit how i remember, when i look at a photo of myself and oh god you can’t even see my cheekbones.

there’s guilt in everything. i feel ashamed even struggling with this. i grew up skinny, being told that i needed to get “some meat on my bones.” to be frank, i never thought id ever have an eating disorder. oh how wrong was i. i’m not even plus sized. or… am i? it’s hard to tell. i’m not even sure what i look like anymore. but there’s a large part of me that tells me im not even allowed to feel like this. especially when i know that i have friends who are bigger than me who have struggled with eating disorders. that my friends who are fat have confided in me in feeling these things. and the conflict furthers when i think about how beautiful they all are. how perfect they are in my eyes. how i think being fat is a beautiful thing. and how there must be something seriously fucked up with me to see that in them but take issue in it with myself. what a hypocrite i am.

it’s odd how eating disorders start. how they grow as i shrink. disordered eating into an eating disorder.

i don’t know. most of what i’ve been digesting recently is merely my own thoughts. which don’t seem to be helpful to me either.

just some food for my thoughts, i guess.

[onerebuplic]

-I’m not sure if I have time to try all my options

-I’m not sure what to do first with the time I do have

-When I do know what to do first, I run into resistance or curveballs, like being hungry, thirsty, overheating, medication issues, cptsd issues, or depression issues

-when I don’t run into that resistance, I encounter the executive dysfunction and time blindness from ADHD. I often end up fumbling my time or not completing things or doing them in an unwise order.

-so maybe the issue is:

-I already have unrealistic expectations for each day.

-My failure to plan ahead with routines, checklists, and more when it comes to food/meds/errands is disrupting my ability to focus and get into flow.

-Having unrealistic expectations and then not planning ahead, or taking care of the small things, is destroying my ability to get BIG things done.

-Being unable to get BIG things done and track progress is continuing to undermine my confidence, self trust, self worth, and general feelings of safety and trust in my future and my environment.

-Having low self worth, self trust, and confidence as well as feeling triggered and unsafe are causing me to either dissociate, binge, or make bad decisions with my time (in order to avoid these feelings and the pain of unintentional failure)

-Setting myself up to dissociate, binge, and make bad decisions with my time only digs the hole deeper and ensures the worst case scenario will happen:

-Because I believe I deserve the worst case scenario, I can’t do anything to avoid it, and my actions are worthless.

-I believe I have no control over my life and that helps me avoid accountability and shame, because I’d rather be sad and depressed than guilty and desperate.

-Believing I have no control over my life and that I’m not capable of doing better is keeping me from believing a better life is possible and a better me is possible.

-Not believing a better life and better me are possible means I’m making choices that reflect that, whether intentional or unaware.

-Knowing that my subconscious and nervous system are as damaged as they are, and as powerful as they are, but disregarding that and hoping that I just “get better” and that life magically gets better is anti intellectual, even if it’s what I was taught growing up.

-Any choices you make with the intention to help yourself grow and do better, will help reinforce the subconscious notion that you deserve better and you can achieve better.

-Each failure is a chance to do better. Each bad moment is a chance to do better.

-It’s not that you’re out of time to do better.

-It’s that you’re out of time to start believing you can do better.

Give yourself a try.

[yokiidokii]

How would the gang react to a reader who constantly says sorry ? like for every stupid thing at the end of a sentence due to being Bullied majority of their life . So now I their adulthood it’s just kinda automatic “oop I’m sorry” even when it’s not necessary

My smile is immeasurable- I do this so often you have no idea. I have absolutely been worried about not knowing if I was gonna do the request just right. This is not one of those times. I did have a surprising amount of trouble with it though? Despite it being something I myself do constantly lmao, ah well I hope I did it justice!

Also hi! I was in college so this is so very late and I’m so sorry about that <3 My prof mentally threw me around like a rag doll and I came out with my brain fried.

Warnings: I don't think any? Maybe some general allusions to anxiety just because of the prompt itself? Andre mentions weed but uh- nothing else! Relatively safe<3

Reagan

I feel like she understands, I could see her thinking of it more in a like, a logical sense? Not like she doesn’t understand the more emotional side of it- she’s got her own issues. But in the like “Oh, usually when people do this it means they are scared of what people think and don’t like conflict. I’ll keep that in mind.”

She gets it, and I want to be absolutely clear- I cannot see her being one of those people saying “It’s fine.” Because like, for her it doesn’t feel like it ever really is? But she will be the person to help you feel like, it’s okay that you said it but know that you do not have to. You didn’t do anything wrong.

If you want to tell her the reason why you do this, apologizing and explaining she will feel for you. I mean we’ve seen her school experience, we had one friend and a buncha kids who were way older than you and treated her like shit. Also her father, very much her father.

She won't ever press you or act like you aren't trying harder to get better but she'll make sure in her own way that you know it's all gonna be okay one day.

One day you won't have to think about the past and everything will be okay <3

-

Andre

Andre may or may not have told you about his experiences with his family and how they really affected him.

You have probably also- at least once maybe seen him without drugs and how that can make him.

Long story short he is in no position to judge even if he for some reason wanted to.

Would offer you some weed

He means well and will not pressure you if you say no, though he will totally ask “Are you suuuureee?” because he cannot stress enough the wonders of medical marijuana

Whether or not you take it is up to you, but he will absolutely let you chill either in his office if you're at work or at his house- would come to your house to make sure your comfy if you need it<3

He is a loving man with lots of his own experience in this kind of regard and he will help you no matter what!

He is more than the drug guy though please literally let him be known for more than that he deserves it so any tips he's used to help himself out he will give to you.

A very caring man with his own issues and lots of advice and love to give if you'll have it~

-

Brett

Oh honey, this man? This man understands.

Brett will apologize after you do because both of you think that is is somehow both of your faults.

Though he will undoubtedly let you know in every way he possibly can that it is not your fault in any way and that he loves you.

He would absolutely mention therapy- it helps him! It might help you?

He would absolutely be holding your hand anyway and if you do apologize while it happens, he’ll squeeze it in his own and shoot you a quick “No need to be!” before continuing the conversation. He doesn’t wanna spend the whole time acknowledging it just in case putting too much attention on it in the open would embarrass you or make you feel worse.

But he will be there for you, and he will be listing off things that he’s learned to help him when he can’t stop doing it either.

-

Myc

I can see Myc start by just being a little bit sarcastic. Like he isn’t entirely sure why you do it just yet, but he doesn’t want you to be saying it and thinking that you did something wrong.

He gives those like “Oh yeah? You’re sorry?” and you know that if he had actual eyes, he would be giving you a look of ‘You really wanna do this rn?’.

And he will probably continue to do so even after he knows why.

He isn’t going to treat you differently per se, at least- he acts like he isn’t going to…

But you feel the tentacle that was already wormed around your waist squeeze just a little tighter before you end your sentence to remind you that you didn’t do anything, and you don’t need to apologize. 

I mean he gets it, he got bullied. He ended with a different outcome for himself, but he still understands. It sucks, and even if you don’t want to think about it or you don’t want to constantly feel like life is repeating itself over and over again but sometimes it’s just going to feel that way even if it isn’t.

Though Myc will be there to help you understand and work through all the woes of getting to inside your own head.

-

Gigi

She would raise her brow at it at first.

Hit you with that “Honey you didn’t do anything wrong.” and make sure you know that it’s all okay.

Is teaching you how she ignores her haters constantly, if you say anything about it not being on the same level and you start apologizing again, she is going to lovingly slap you in the face with her words (She would not lay a hand on you ever-)

Comparing yourself gets a “tsk tsk” from her and a long list of all the parts about you she thinks are beyond stellar.

Gigi would be very honest -like the most honest maybe- about whether or not you actually have anything to be sorry about. 

If you do, she’ll accept your apology but try to figure out a way to do it in a way that won’t encourage you to do it when you don’t actually have to.

And when you don’t, she places a hand on her hip and gives you a look, eyebrow raised just lightly in a ‘really?’ sorry of fashion.

She’s not questioning it; she knows it happened. But she’s asking if you really wanna do it, you know that she will no doubt spend her time talking your ear off about not doing this again.

She does it with the upmost amount of love I promise- but like,,

Do you dare question her? I wouldn't

-

Glenn

Okay. I don’t want to say Glenn doesn’t get it at first, but out of all of the people in the gang it feels right to say he might take the longest to adjust and learn how to handle it.

But just because he might not get it at first doesn’t mean he’s rude!!

It’s more of a “What? Why are you saying you're sorry? You didn’t do anything?” Kinda confused-

He’s a confused ol man, forgive him.

Though, he would understand the bullying thing like 100%

He’s no stranger to rude comments or being talked to as if he has no feelings, typical bully behavior even if he wouldn’t talk about it or call them bullies, just,,, assholes?

That and the feelings that come from thinking about those comments is something he understands, and something that he can try and a headspace he will gladly try to help you out of.

[uselessheretic]

sorry if this is out of left field, but i’ve been thinking abt it for a while…i would consider myself a passive izzy enjoyer and i am not at all an “izzy loved the toe cutting” person, /however/, I feel like you (the general you, not you specifically) can’t deny that he was happy about it after the fact? like the next day the “blackbeard is himself again” line he is definitely jazzed abt that and part of the demonstration that blackbeard is himself is the toe mutilation

also i’ve been wanting to ask more active izzy lovers/supporters, again i enjoy the man and am interested to see where his story goes but i will never ever forgive him for what he did to ed when he was trying to heal, is that something izzy stans don’t think about? don’t care about? take it as a given that everyone agrees was fucked up it so it just never gets brought up? sorry i’m not trying to put you in any specific group if you don’t want to be or assume where you stand but i enjoy reading your meta so was interested if you had any thoughts about it

i feel like a lot of it is up to interpretation! there's not generally one opinion held on things, and i've seen different ways people have read those scenes.

i know that i've seen quite a few people challenge the idea that izzy is "happy" when he does his "blackbeard is himself again" but it's really just how you read it. when you look at how he smiles there, it feels kinda? off?? forced. honestly, i don't think he's actually glad about it, but i also don't think izzy is aware that he's not. i feel like a lot of his emotions ep10 is very mixed up and muddy where he's largely acting from an emotional place while not even knowing what that place is. whether he's actually glad in the moment is something you can read multiple ways imo, but i do feel like even if read as "he's happy this happened" most izzy people would still be like "but that's not gonna last." what izzy thinks he wants isn't in line with what he actually wants, and i expect that to come to a head in s2 as izzy's forced to address the actual root of his issues surrounding ed.

as for the being cruel to ed when ed's sad, again, i just think that's up to the fan. one place izzy stans defs differ is that the majority of them don't view whatever ed was doing as healing. i think it's a mixed bag personally, where ed's first reaction to heartbreak of doing things like reaching out to lucius is good! but it's not perfect where he really comes off like the drunk girl crying in the bathroom when singing his song to the crew. it's definitely better than the fucking kraken though lol but even with ed's song you can see how his interpretation of lucius' "let go and be born again" goes a bit over his head and straight back into suicide ideation. the talent show and the crew's agreement towards it feels kinda like damage control, and another continuation of ed being avoidant to his actual issues. he never actually mentions stede during this time and the first time his name comes up is with izzy who's being an absolute cunt, but it evokes a strong reaction from ed. i don't think ed would be happy if anybody mentioned stede.

in general though, i feel like it is kinda taken as a given that izzy's actions were fucked up, but that it's not on the same level as the way people in fandom talk about it. izzy was being purposefully cruel. he was trying to hurt ed. there can be some reasoning behind it, about whether ed's behavior is threatening their lives or that izzy's acting out from feeling abandoned yadda yadda yadda, but it doesn't excuse it anymore so than it excuses ed's actions in retaliation.

the show is about imperfect people where characters like stede and ed in another show would be straight up villains. stede's literally a deadbeat dad who abandoned his family. if this story was from alma's pov we'd want him dead. ed made fang kill his dog! that on its own is almost always considered an irredeemable offense that automatically excludes a character from redemption, but it doesn't in ofmd. izzy's actions are bad, but they're no worse than stede or ed's. i feel like fans just take it as another continuation of how fucked up ed and izzy's relationship is where you can see the way that they escalate throughout the season dragging each other down deeper.

there's no need to justify it or defend it because why would there be? he fucked up and was a dick. for a lot of izzy stans, that doesn't exclude him from sympathy though. it's just adding flavor to the everything bagel of their cringefail marriage.

[self-loving-vampire]

From a game balance perspective I do understand why so many games try to limit how many augmentations players can get by dangling the “Cybernetics Eat Your Soul” trope over them and taking away their humanity points (and, in Shadowrun, also their magical ability). This “humanity” metric is often directly tied to empathy, which certainly has... Implications.

Here’s one page of the Cyberpunk TTRPG manual.

Like... Why does it even work like this?

Let’s assume that getting fancy prosthetics and body modifications somehow removed your empathy. Kind of strange to tie your morality and decency to how many body-altering surgeries you have had (trans and disabled people are just doing it wrong apparently) but let’s just roll with it.

1- Why is empathy treated as a defining human fundamental anyway when there’s humans in real life who were either born without it or who lost it at some point for a variety of reasons? 

It just seems like another manifestation of the idea that abnormal empathy makes people somehow subhuman.

I may not be very attached to humanity myself (for entirely different reasons) but this still seems like a very bad place to draw a boundary between humans and non-humans.

2- A lack of empathy is not the same as a general lack of emotions. People with below-average empathy can be just as emotional as anyone else, the difference is that they just don’t also feel other people’s emotions.

3- Most importantly, low empathy by itself doesn’t translate to “I’m going to go on an irrational and self-destructive murder rampage for no reason.” 

This is really just the new “Without religion people will just go on random murder sprees.” 

I don’t even know how to explain to people that low empathy is not the same as the sadistic, pointless violence people just assume of the trait without ever actually thinking about it. 

A lack of affective empathy is not the same as malice or hatred either. All it means is a reduction or lack of the usual emotional flow from other people towards you. It doesn’t even necessarily mean you don’t value other people or don’t care about them, just that their emotions don’t become your own and may be difficult to understand/relate to.

This really just feels like the usual mental illness stereotypes but with added bio-essentialism.

I strongly prefer the approach of Eclipse Phase, which is a science fiction game with a more distinctly transhumanist bent. It is also not perfect but in that game altering and customizing your body however you wish is just normal, as is uploading yourself to exist without a body or downloading yourself into an entirely separate body.

The worst thing that happens if you do something as drastic as literally switching to a whole new body is that it takes time to get used to the differences, particularly if the new body is dramatically different from the previous one, and experience some mental stress from the loss of continuity of self.

In other words, problems that are actually understandable and interesting. 

You had to download into an undesirable body that doesn’t suit you at all because it was the only thing available at the place you had to transmit your mind to? Congratulations on the body dysmorphia, it’s stressful but you probably won’t just go on a homicidal rampage.

In fact, I find the setting of this game extremely useful when explaining transness to people in real life.

It also deals with issues relating to identity and what the self even is much better than cyberpunk fiction typically does. Your character is not their body, they are the information contained within. As a result, it is even possible for them to exist without any body at all.

The average person in this setting has a set of standard bio-augmentations (such as the ability to live on 3-4 hours of sleep and immunity to all normal diseases, including cancer) plus cranial computers and medical sensors. This doesn’t turn anyone evil and there is no humanity stat.