#and like you can use it in methods not just raw force

[rainrot4me]

This is gonna be a very very VERY FREAKY ask but uh...um...what kind of porn do the creeps get off to, if they watch/consume that kind of content?

I'm so sorry if this ask is weird and disgusting if it makes you uncomfortable I completely understand if you don't answer this question!

Sweet angel anon, nothing is too freaky for me 🤍 Didn’t include Lj or Slender because I do not think they watch porn, they just don’t seem the type.

๑ Warning: Porn, masturbation, taboo themes

── .✦

✦ . JEFF THE KILLER

Jeff’s got a nasty taste for rough, borderline violent porn—knife play, blood kink, biting, and aggressive rough sex scenarios. Usually scrolls through Twitter ‘daddy’ accounts because they post nasty shit he can get off to.

Think consensual non-consent or “forced” style roleplay with lots of power dynamics. He’s a big fan of forcing the camera in the bottom’s face and watching them choke or cry, barely able to speak. He hates too-polished porn; he prefers stuff that looks shaky and raw, or even homemade. Focuses more on the person receiving than the one giving.

Jerks himself off wherever the hell he feels like—probably in his room or somewhere absolutely gross, like the woods on a mission break. Fast, messy, no patience. Spits in his hand and grips his cock so hard he hisses. Doesn’t draw it out, just fucks into his fist that’s probably still got cuts on it.

He doesn’t give a shit if someone hears him. Might even groan loud on purpose just to piss people off. Uses his imagination more than porn; if he does watch, it’s on a stolen burner phone.

“C’mon, c’mon…fuckin’ christ—”

✦ . TICCI TOBY

Toby is more reserved about it—he watches messy, amateur, kind of affectionate porn. Lots of sloppy make-outs, body worship, praising the partner, overstimulation. He enjoys sensual stuff, things that make him blush and hide his face in his pillow.

If he’s in a bad headspace, he might go to rougher stuff, but usually soft domination is his jam. Usually watches on PornHub under an incognito tab on a busted laptop. So, so secretly is into somnophilia. If a video just so happens to pop up where some helpless, unknowing victim is being manhandled in their sleep, how is he supposed to not watch it?

Jerks off curled up in his room, behind locked doors, maybe even in the bathroom so he can turn the fan on and muffle the sounds. Goes fast at first because he’s anxious about doing it, but if he lets himself relax, he’s all about edging and drawing it out until he’s shaking and breathless. He tries to be quiet, all jerky movements, one hand over his mouth to muffle himself, hips jerking up into his fist. Sometimes finishes so fast he’s embarrassed.

Feels guilty after. Hides his face, sometimes mutters praise or dirty talk to himself under his breath. When he watches porn, it’s on low volume, with headphones, in bed at night.

“Shit…shitshitshit—”

✦ . EYELESS JACK

Jack goes for roleplay kink, no question—nurse outfits, teacher’s in detention, cops and robbers messy shit. Also likes very slow, sensual, bodily exploration energy, the kind of stuff you’d see under breeding tags. It’s unconventional, but he knows what he likes—and that’s slutty costumes.

Sometimes watches monster x human porn because it feels close to home. He oddly really likes animations and porn games, though he won’t specifically seek them out if they’re not there when he pulls up the screen. An X-videos warrior.

He’s drawn to well-filmed videos. He likes when the camera is still and has good angles, when the lighting lets him see everything. He doesn’t mind rougher videos, but definitely has a preference for professionally shot things that obviously have work put into them.

Jerks off in his own lab in the basement, behind a locked door, late at night when nobody will hear. Methodical, slow, almost detached—he analyzes the porn, then lets his own urges finally push through. Strokes himself easy at first, then fast, breath ragged, sometimes flexing his claws so he doesn’t break the equipment.

“Focus…nngh, dammit—”

✦ . MASKY (TIM WRIGHT)

Masky likes older, more traditional style porn—think 90s or 2000s grainy videos with passionate “cheating wife” scenarios where everyone is bad at acting. It’s so ‘old man’, but he definitely has porn dvds he puts into a laptop because that’s what he likes best.

He likes narratives, where someone is seduced or corrupted. Even though it’s usual for people to skip the first 5 minutes of a video to get into the sex, Masky will watch the entire plot/backstory because he likes the buildup. Is also way into breathplay and bondage themes, but only if they look authentic.

Pretends he doesn’t watch it but definitely does. There’s only so many times you can jerk off while staring at your ceiling, entertainment is nice. Will absolutely never admit it, though. Sees it as a weakness or something to used against him.

Jerks off in his bed, under blankets, late at night so nobody hears and his hard-on refuses to go down. You’d think he’s pissed with the way he grumbles as he shoves his boxers down. Slow, deliberate strokes, edging himself for way too long, eyes locked on the screen. Probably switches tabs constantly, looking for just the right scene. Mutters curses, controls his breathing, but ends up biting his knuckles and groaning so loud.

“Fuck—don’t you dare stop. Don’t—”

✦ . HOODIE (BRIAN THOMAS)

Hoodie prefers audio porn or written erotica over videos. He finds those ASMR audio role plays on YouTube so hot. Visuals sometimes freak him out, but if he can listen to someone getting their face fucked, it’s good for him. Is still a pretty big smut fan, though.

Softcore at first, then harder. Likes a build-up—plot-based, with powerplay or manipulation themes. Often watches ���reluctant but consenting” audio role plays where it’s an experienced and inexperienced duo.

Soft dominance, praise kink, telling the partner what to do—he likes the mental aspect more than the visuals. He likes to hear the noises, imagine the positions, sometimes even be instructed or copy what they sound like they’re doing. If he watches a video, it’s usually gentle rough sex with lots of aftercare and talking throughout.

Jerks off at his desk, headphones on, locked door, usually after a stressful mission. He’s methodical and precise, timing himself with the audio, palms himself through his boxers for a while before pulling them down. Lots of controlled sighs, clenched jaw, doesn’t even mess up his hair.

“God… just like that.”

✦ . KATE THE CHASER

Kate watches porn that has a focus on stamina, chase, or hunting roleplay. Likes sweaty, physically intense sex, with a partner struggling to keep up. She’s all about predator x prey scenarios or forced domination situations.

Likes when it’s nicely filmed. Doesn’t have to be professional, but she does like to know what’s going on. If there’s bad acting or too much plot, she’ll turn it off. Just give her the raunchy porn. Mainly watches on random websites that host videos PornHub refuses to.

Also into pinning down/being pinned—wrestling turned sexual. If it’s filmed in the woods, she’s clicking it immediately. Also enjoys consensual non consent, the feral kind that has people crying and begging to stop. It scratches an itch in her.

Jerks of after a workout, still sweaty, in her room with a locked door while her heart is still racing. Almost treats it like a challenge, tests how long she can hold out. Grinds on her hand, pulls at her own nipples, flexes through the orgasm, bites her lips to stay quiet.

“Fuuuck—keep going…”

✦ . BEN DROWNED

You saw this coming… Animated hentai, glitchy edits, pixel video game porn loops. He’s obsessed with corrupted or modded video-game characters—pixelated girls, bugged-out facial animations, borderline uncanny valley shit.

Whatever game he’s into at the moment, he’ll crawl onto Twitter and look at crisp animations of the main character’s that people have animated to do heinous shit. Overwatch porn is his go-to, but also really enjoys Final Fantasy loops.

He likes unconventional scenarios, things that you definitely couldn’t get away with irl. On the train, at the beach, in a dressing room. He likes risky stuff that makes him feel anxious.

Jerks off inside a PC tower he’s possessing, or any screen, really. No physical body needed, but if he does “manifest,” he’ll messily get off with one hand while spamming the rewind function, repeating the climax loop again and again.

“Mhmm… Fuck, that’s hot.””

✦ . CLOCKWORK

Loves switchy porn—sometimes she wants to be dom, sometimes bratty sub. Lots of mutual teasing, orgasm denial, control battles. If there’s a fight that leads to sex video, she’s watched it. Watches on PornHub from fairly popular self-ran accounts. She has a few channels she goes back to, watching when they come out with new videos.

Big on femdom content with a twist of pain play. She likes to see women absolutely wrecking men and sucking through soul through their dick while they can do nothing about it. Otherwise, she’s big on pegging. Likes to watch people fall apart when getting dicked down for the first time.

Loves when there’s lots of talking. If the top is blabbing on and on about how good the bottom is being, she’s biting her lip so hard.

Jerks off right in bed, phone propped on her chest, no shame. Bratty about it, starts and stops, teasing herself with two fingers, then goes rough with a toy. Talks to the video like she’s in it. Moans openly because she knows she can.

“Yeah? You think you can that? Oh, fuuuck—”

✦ . NINA THE KILLER

Nina watches really mushy, romance-heavy porn. Boyfriend-girlfriend homemade videos, praising, body worship, slow undressing, cheesy music. Enjoys watching people lose their virginity or have sex for the first time, it’s so hot to her.

If she watches rough stuff, she likes seeing a hot stalker character break into someone’s house and fuck them (*eyeroll*). Usually just sticks to the homemade side of PornHub where the camera is shaky and the lighting is bad, but you can tell that it’s real and genuine and she likes to see people feel good.

If she tends to click on videos where the top has longer black hair, that’s her own business. She likes faceless videos, just angles from the neck down so she can imagine it’s her being fucked and not some lucky bottom getting their shit pounded.

Jerks off in her own pink-patterned sheets, door bolted, headphones in her phone. It’s not that she’s inherently embarrassed, she just likes her privacy about it. Breathless and quick, lots of fingers circling over her clit, sometimes rubs against a pillow if she’s especially desperate. Giggly and whimpery, praising herself out loud.

“Mmh, so pretty…so good, Nina…”

✦ . HOMICIDAL LIU

Liu likes soft, affectionate porn—especially “reunion after separation” type plots. He goes for raw, messy, extremely intimate porn, the kind that feels personal—homemade amateur videos, a bit rough around the edges, with real moaning and close-up, handheld shots. X-videos always seems to have what he’s looking for.

(This may be touchy): If he watches rougher content, it’s about slightly taboo family-role scenarios (stepsibling or stepparent) with a strong sense of corruption. It gives him a horrible pit in his gut, but he just can’t stop clicking on the videos when they pop up. There’s just something so arousing to him about being manipulated by someone close to you he gets off to.

He’s kind of vanilla deep down, but likes to watch a bit of biting or scratching. He won’t watch porn while he masturbates, but instead chooses to watch it to get himself pent up, barely rubbing himself through his pants before shutting turning off his phone and leaving to handle it.

Jerks off in the shower, so no one hears him. Slow, quiet, hunched over, trying to keep himself grounded. Cups his balls, strokes himself steady, sometimes chokes himself on purpose against the water spray. Cleans up instantly afterward to bury the guilt.

“Fuck— I shouldn’t— I’m sorry—”

✦ . JANE EVERLASTING

Jane is very picky; she likes femdom, high-quality, artistic porn. Strong women, power reversal, worshipping themes. If there is a man on his knees begging to even be touched, she’s sooo getting off on that.

She cannot stand fake-sounding moaning or over-the-top acting, it has to look real. Ethical feminist themes with very loving but rough partners. Adores videos where women are worshipped like goddesses and they are the dominant ones. Watches on her laptop with the volume very high because she loves to hear every whine and moan.

Jerks off with candles lit, clean sheets, a vibrator with multiple settings. She’s very ritualistic about it. She has the same 5 PornHub channels that she rewatches her favorite videos on. Moans confidently, never ashamed. Treats porn like a reward for surviving the week.

Toys only, fingers aren’t enough for her. Switches settings a lot, breathing deeply, praising herself. Likes to moan loud, powerful, almost a challenge to the world. She’ll grope her own tits and roll her nipples until she’s breathless and sensitive.

“Yes. Just like that. Perfect— fuckkk…”

✦ . X-VIRUS

Cody’s into corruption or “bad girl/boy gets the attitude fucked out of them” kinks—fixing the other person or being their only weakness. He likes when someone is a brat and the only way to remedy their loud mouth is by occupying it with dick.

Likes when it’s a third-person video. Like two people are going at it and a third is walking around them giving all the angles and shots of two people just fucking each other. Can’t stand when the bottom gets too loud, it’s all annoying to him. PornHub is where he goes because it has the most and is easily available.

Also watches choking/breathplay and role reversals. He likes when the bottom passes out from lack of air, the video turning into a free-use situation. Occasionally dips into monster porn because he relates to “outsider” themes.

Jerks off at his desk chair, door locked, porn on the biggest monitor possible. Rough, fast, doesn’t waste time. Sometimes talks to the screen, filthy talk, praising or humiliating the actors. Might cum twice if he’s feeling wild.

“Yeah, take it—fucking take it—”

꩜ .ᐟ

[supatroopa]

I need to like get into actually watching TV shows this is brutal

[angelsafa]

My void success story

Hello everyone,

I fckn entered the void yesterday what the hell!! Tbh I've always had the feeling that I would somehow make it, because I belive in myself and because I control my reality (and you do too). Anyways, I am literally shaking while typing this because, even tho I knew I was gonna make it, I didn't expect it to happen so soon, in my third attempt. So here's the thing:

In saturday 7th of june one of my favourite f1 drivers came to do a roadshow. Basically show his car in this new track and stuff. Anyways, I was so so excited and kept affirming it was going to be a great day and stuff, which honestly was, but there was a little problem. When he got closer to the railing and next to the fans I had the amazing luck of being in the front row and being able to see him closely. And here's the thing. I kinda still doubted myself and didn't expect myself to be so close to him that day, so I haven't brought anything that he could sign on for me, and the phone was with my sister which was far away, so not even a photo !! So I had to conform with simply watch him closely while everyone got their things signed and photos and stuff. When he walked away and stuff, I felt so so dissapointed and sad, so I got to one of the bathrooms and started crying. Like raw crying. You guys cannot realize how much I cried that afternoon. And I kept blaming my strict parents for not letting me borrow the phone that day. When we got home my sister and me I honestly could not stare into my parents and not cry or get angry, so I went to sleep early that day. I cried. A lot. And then fall asleep. The next day while I was having breakfast I've decided that I was done with blaming everyone and being sad and angry. And I said to myself "Well, Safa, you know LOA, you know shifting, you know revising and you know the void. You can simply wake up with a new phone with a picture of you and him there, and a shirt signed literally on your wall. You have been procrastinating manifesting your dream life, so it's time for taking action again." And well, the rest is history. I decided that I would be entering the void that night and change some things of my life, like my strict parents or the small house I used to live in, or some appearence changes (which tbh with you guys I was already too pretty so I didn't care a lot about it but still) or more money. So I did it. The night came so I did the most basic method, kinda mixed with the distraction method. I laid on my side because I honestly thing it's more comfortable than the back, I focused on my breathing and then let my toughts and even a song pass by. I didn't force anything or be desperate, I simply got sick of the shitty life I was living in and I decided. Guys this is the key. Decide.

Don't try, don't attempt, don't hope.

Decide.

Decide that you're getting into the void. Decide that you're shifting. Decide that you have that life. Because you do. You already have it. You do. You don't have to worry. Everything else? Is past. That's simply who you no longer identify with. It's old story. That doesn't matter anymore. You are no longer that person. You've decided that you have your dream life? Then the 3D has no choice but to reflect. It's a literal mirror.

Anyways, I entered the void after some minuts and holy shit, I didn't know it was that easy. People put it in the pedastal. It's so fucking easy but I was procrastinating and stuff. Anyways, today when I woke up I did with my dream life. Guys I still cannot belive it. It's overwhelming. I literally woke up with an Iphone 16 pink under my pillow, in my dream bedroom in my dream room and dream house!! But the most important thing, my fucking white shirt (the one I decided to), was hanging in my wall with the driver's sign!!! Guys I'm crying. Literally crying. It's so fucking wholesom.

Anyways I just wanted to say this is your sign to not give up because I literally did it in the third attempt.

You got this. You're a master manifesting and shifting.

Lots of love,

Safa

[orphicsun]

Please could you do a small one shot or headcannon for sevika... soft degradation with love behind it NSFW pleaseeee I need this in my life 😭😭

my nsfw thoughts on sevika

warnings: 18+ content, mentions of different sexual activities and positions, dom! sevika/sub reader dynamic, spankings & pain-play, hair-pulling, soft degradation, shower sex, strap-on oral, and petnames (good girl, Sevika refers to herself as daddy idc it’s my headcannon!)

⋅ᯓᡣ𐭩 Sevika whose favorite position is missionary. Many would say it's boring for a favorite, but Sevika? It's an easy excuse to get the chance to kiss you while she's inside you. She will be on top of you with either her fingers deep in your cunt, letting them squeeze around her like a vice, or forcing your legs wide apart so she can fit her wide hips between them to fuck you with a strap-on. No matter what though, you're gonna have a mouth full of her. It may be soft, sweet kisses that you get when she feels loving with you, her lips taking yours tenderly. However, sometimes when you're both moaning all messily and on the edge of orgasms, she'll find herself harshly shoving her tongue in your mouth, often having to pull away to breathe. In those moments, you hear words that make your pussy clench around her.

"You love getting fucked like this, hm? When I fuck this pussy 'till you feel it in your throat?"

⋅ᯓᡣ𐭩 Sevika who is the type to prefer the strap in favor of scissoring, fingering, and pussy eating. Not to say she won't do foreplay! Sevika eating pussy is another topic for a headcannon below, but her with a strap? She likes being able to have her power over your with her entire body. Feeling your pussy against hers is nice, but there is a certain degree of control that comes with fucking you. She can feel it, but it isn't as messy or as overwhelming. For her, at least. You're feeling her in a way that makes your legs shake and your voice turn raw, while she can stay fucking you above you, able to tease and taunt you.

⋅ᯓᡣ𐭩 Sevika who is a soft sadist. She doesn't enjoy laughing while spanking you or using a flogger or whatever method you're into. She likes watching you struggle with the pleasure combined, too. Imagine bent over her lap, your face buried into the bed as you pathetically cry. Sevika doesn't spank you harder or tell you to count, no. She'll be sweet about it for a bit, make you feel good and loved. Lean down and coo soft comforts in your ear and make you feel like you're off the hook. You're not, though. The moment you confirm that you're still okay, you get another hit on your ass that leaves you instantaneously crying out and cumming. Same with hair-pulling, too. Sevika is a huge hair puller. She likes forcing you to face her either by grabbing your chin(imagine the way she did with Vi during the fight in season one!!), or gathering your hair in a ponytail just to lovingly yank it. It makes her own pussy throb to listen to the surprise in your tone when she does it.

⋅ᯓᡣ𐭩 Sevika who, when she has sex, has to have long sessions. Doesn't settle for quickies, unless it's cannon-world Sevika who would probably enjoy getting the stress eased with a quick fuck. Brothel Sevika would probably be in and out to cum or to fuck one of the girls, but when you're her girl, she will spend hours making you cum. She loves foreplay, saying it's necessary to "prep you for her cock." You will probably cum at least once or twice on with a tongue warming up your clit or her middle finger teasing your g-spot, but try not to lose your voice screaming and lose your energy thrashing, because the main event will last until Sevika physically can't fuck you anymore. Breaks included.

⋅ᯓᡣ𐭩 Sevika who is a pussy-eating enthusiast. Her method isn't Vi or Caitlyn's would be. Vi would probably flick her tongue a lot and Caitlyn would be giving proper ice-cream licks, but Sevika makes it intimate with taking her time. She's in no rush with foreplay, so why not spend a while just teasing around your clit? Why not savor the taste of your wet pussy lips, even dipping her tongue into your hole? Watching you squirm under her mouth, bucking up to get direct contact but failing. She sometimes even finds herself laughing against your pussy, not intending to cause vibrations through you but does anyway. Best believe after the teasing is up that she will not stop fucking you with her nose and mouth until you're begging for mercy.

⋅ᯓᡣ𐭩 Sevika who loves to degrade. She doesn't outright call you a slut, but (consensually) makes comments when you wear lingerie that make you feel the best type of shame. She likes calling out brats, too. She won't hesitate to put you in your place in the most gentle way possible. Sevika is definitely a huge condescending degrader, too. She'll insult you for acting dumb when she fucks you, letting you know how pathetic you are for the bit of drool on your lips from her dick impaling you, and nearly laughing into your ear when you whimper her name like a dog in heat when the tip of the silicone kisses your cervix.

⋅ᯓᡣ𐭩 Sevika who loves shower sex. Having you pressed up against steamy glass, lathering soap all over your back to stall. She loves taking her time, running water down your back to add to the sensations until you’re begging her to fuck you. Then, she’ll bend you over and just simply tease you. Her fingers will slide between your folds, just separating them and collecting the slick that increases there. When she can tell that you can’t take anymore, then she will drop to her knees and eat your pussy out from the back. If she’s had a rough day and you allow her to take her stress out on you, she will fuck you with her thick fingers while the shower water falls onto the both of you, letting out various curses.

“Shh, be a good girl and take my fingers. Maybe I’ll let you choke on my dick after if you listen. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

⋅ᯓᡣ𐭩 Sevika who is a lover of both traditional head and strap head. She likes to watch your lips wrap around the tip of her fake dick, adore how you take as much as you can of the length into your mouth. She can’t feel it, but if she sees you using teeth she’ll use it to degrade you.

“Nuh-uh, you know better. I know you’re better at sucking dick than that. C’mon. Be a good girl and suck daddy’s cock right, don’t you wanna make me cum?”

But halfway through, she just gets so turned on that she rips the harness off, letting your eager (and very slutty) mouth taste her pussy. You love sucking her strap, but her real taste is unbeatable. Her body tenses and her breathing grows heavy above you, nodding slightly when you lap at her clit in earnest. She still guides you through it, but just know that your reward for after is getting to ride her face, so every slightly mean instruction is worth it. You like being bossed around by Sevika, anyways.

[rotagnus]

intuitive messages for the rest of may 🏙️

(and june). wow. it's been a while, hasn't it? sorry for not being as active. i have a lot of finishing up high school issues, but those are all slowly falling away. i feel like i'm starting a new phase of life and there's so many unknowns and it's kinda freaking me out 😭😭

this pac will give you some insight on a couple of things you should know. it's gonna be more specific (not too much) for each pile, so one may be about romance, the other can be about something totally else. please don't try to force yourself to pick one that doesn't resonate.

pile 1.

i think a lot of u will be reflecting on your life right now, especially about being alone. a lot of you developed this raw fear of being alone as a child, and you coped with it through various methods (for some always socializing even though at heart you loveee the nourishment that comes from solitude, for others through addictions (substances or anything else)). i think a lot of you had a falling out with something that was deeply central to all aspects of your life, and this kinda ran a crack through your vision of life was. more layers were discovered, and you're kind of like 'wow the world is way bigger and more complex than i thought' and soon, you'll be feeling a lot of emotions and seeing a lot of things you've NEVERRR seen before. like finding a new good song, y'know what i mean? but in order for this to happen, you're gonna have to truly let go of those things.

let yourself mourn. many of you just use escapism to get over trauma and heartbreaks because it was something you didn't allow yourself to feel as a younger person because it'd completely break you. you didn't learn how to cope with pain, and as a result, sought it out as an adult because it was a sweet taste compared to the unknown. stop finding people who remind you of the worst parts of life, and trust that there are good ones out there. sometimes, you don't meet them, because your current version would be unable to handle it. sometimes, to keep something forever, you have to be a bit patient in order to get it.

and another message for this pile; be careful with your negative emotions. you guys are a powerhouse, and that energy...it can really be used to better the earth, or as a weapon you wield. now, don't get me wrong; a lot of people deserve your anger and if i was you i would be bitter and hurt too. but you have to be careful who you aim it at. there are a few genuine people in your life and if you start to hurt them because of this deep-set dagger you've had in your back for the past years, you can scare them. channel all of those feelings into something that won't slowly destroy you, deep inside.

pile 2.

a lot of you have been in this patient, slow, steady kind of mood recently. a lot of you doubt your own tenderness and capability to be soft because you think that your loudness or some aspect of you cancels those out. all you want is to be able to be vulnerable and soft but a lot of the time, you feel like you tend to push people away, particularly in romantic prospects due to the fact that you are unable to change things about yourself or are simply unwilling to. there are parts of you that are deeply integral to who you are as a person, as a soul, and while you understand that you can't remove them simply for the sake of another person, you wish that you'd find someone who'd hold all these parts of you and be gentle with them instead of trying to make you fit into a box.

a message i have is that you CAN be loved for who you are, WITH that steady and soft love, without having to change things about yourself. stop painting yourself into a picture of what people 'want'. this is such a self-destructive quality you have and i think some of you have had relationships (platonic, romantic, EVEN W THE SELF) that required you to change something about yourself. sure, maybe you fit in better--but in your head, it was a storm. you guys really gotta stop trying to fit in. you weren't made for that life. think of all the famous artists, singers, whatever celebrity calls to you; did they fit in? nahhh. they paved their own road with their own hands instead of comparing themselves to others. you were meant to be unique. you were meant to SHINE as who you TRULY are instead of a mimic, instead of a two-dimensional copy of other people.

a lot of you look at people and go guessing what you have in store for yourself, or what you deserve. guess what? there's NOBODY out there like you. and i know it's hard because you're left worrying about the future, but this is the path you've chosen. you're blessed enough to be wise and deeply caring, and you've been blessed TO HAVE THIS RETURNED TO YOU IN THIS LIFE. but that is gonna be WASTED if you try to be loved by the wrong people who can only love those who fit a neat checklist. you really think that those people are gonna have true love for you if they only love you when you're a certain person? nahhh. stop trying to wither away just to be loved, pile 2. you guys have a deep fear of being unlovable, but you must fix it. there's a lot of people who are attracted to you, and you have to weed those with ill intentions out, BY BEING YOURSELF. be authentic. heal that wound.

pile 3.

a lot of you seem like you're grieving something rn. 'grieving your whole life'. moon river by frank ocean started playing. a lot of self-reflection has been going on, and for this pile, i think most of you really do love life for what it is; it's an art to you. existence is a beauty that is so tangible to you, you guys are really in tune with it, more than out of all these piles. you see people for their souls, not the roles they play in your life, which makes it hard for you to see any of them as 'villains' or 'heroes'. this can make you frustrating to deal with to some, but trust, you're gonna find someone who likes that deep justice inside of you. you just have to be patient. you guys feel like there's something good coming. it's true. you're the typa spiritual person who wakes up and lists off things you're grateful for. sometimes you doubt your goodness, but my message to you is that everyone can see it. even good people stumble, but that doesn't suddenly remove their goodness, y'know?

don't sink down to people's levels. i think a lot of you have experienced a betrayal of some sorts and now you think that the only way you'll ever be happy is by joining the crowd and running away from your depth, which feels like a burden sometimes. you feel like friends are fake and life is low, and you feel like the only way you'll ever be happy is if you turn to what makes other people happy...drugs, sex, money, etc. you guys fail to understand you're not meant for that. YOU'RE NOT MEANT FOR THAT. you guys are pure souls with pure hearts and the universe will shove you away from that path WITH FORCE if you ever go down it. i know you've been thinking about a certain decision; don't do itttt don't stoop down girl. you'll find joy but not in that. stop being scared that you're never ever gonna be happy, this is just a transition period, and god is testing you to make sure you're really willing to wait before giving all that to you.

connections will be very important for you in the next phase of your life. right now it's important to nurture yourself. have some tea, talk with someone who brings you light. i know that you feel like a burden and that you're complex, alone even in a crowd. that's not the way people see YOUUU. they see you as this bright, unique person, this SOUL that glows and leads people to light. you see yourself as this broken, chipped thing. you don't even see yourself as someone worth saving. you don't have to do everything yourself. trust, there will come a time in your life where you'll wake up by the love of your life with the golden sun in your face, and you'll feel truly happy. just because all of the people u met before were fucked in the head doesn't mean that the future holds the same thing. you have to stop giving yourself away FULLY. if your whole life revolves around one person that's a sign that something's seriously wrong. find other things to do that make you happy babycakes. you're the master of this reality; anyone would be lucky to have you. you're sweet, absolutely beautiful in the way that morning light is, honest, truthful, GOOD. you're a GOOD PERSON, dumdum. i know a lot of you don't wanna believe it but you are.

[hy6erion]

Absolutely desperate for more filthy horny reader content. WHERE THE PERVERT READERS AT!?

- Specifically Viktor finding out that their lil innocent lab assistant seems to not actually be so innocent and has a problem "borrowing" Viktors things and so he finally decides to confront them about it. Would be a real shame if he bent them over his knee and spanked them as punishment till they were a sobbing babbling mess and then proceed fuck them stupid…a real shame indeed -COUGH-

Stolen and Punished — Viktor x Reader

synopsis: viktor discovers his seemingly innocent lab assistant is a pervert who’s been stealing his things. after a humiliating spanking, she still doesn’t learn—so he punishes her again, this time by edging her to tears in his lap.

cw: nsfw, fem! reader, pervert! reader, d/s dynamics, mean! viktor, spanking, humiliation, degrading, edging, begging, calling him sir (😭)

a/n: please dont mind that I it changed a bit 🙏🏼 hope u can still enjoy it :P

Your thighs burn. Your face is hot and your voice is hoarse from sobbing into your arm, stretched over the desk you usually take notes on. But tonight, you’re not writing data. You’re not documenting Hextech tests. You’re bare from the waist down, stretched over Viktor’s lap, and every inch of your skin feels like it’s glowing with shame and heat.

How this happened?

Simple.

He found your drawer.

Or rather—he broke the lock on your locker after he noticed things of his kept disappearing. One shirt. Then two. His lab tie. And more. You thought you were clever, hiding them away in a zippered pouch labeled “personal items.”

But Viktor? He’s not stupid. And you’re not as sneaky as you thought.

“You really thought I wouldn’t notice” he murmurs, fingers dragging across the curve of your ass, feather-light. “My clothing slowly vanishing… and you always smelling like my cologne?”

He tsks, his touch drifting lower, to the spot just beneath your cheek, where the soft skin meets thigh.

“You’re a terrible liar.”

SMACK

The slap lands with no warning. A clean, open-palm strike that ripples through your body and rings in your ears. You jolt with a broken gasp, pressing your thighs together. But Viktor just sighs and uses his knee to shift them apart again.

“Don’t do that” he says, his voice calm but firm. “You’ll keep them open. Understood?”

You nod—choking on the breath that stutters out of you. “Y-Yes…”

“Yes what?” His voice darkens instantly.

You swallow, shame flushing high in your throat. “Y-Yes, sir.”

He hums. Pleased. His hand coasts lazily over your tender skin. “Good girl.”

SMACK.

Another one. Sharper. You can feel your skin giving under the force now, blood rushing to the surface. He doesn’t let you recover��his palm returns again, again, each slap a precise punishment meant to sting. Measured. Methodical.

You’re gasping now, tears slipping hot down your cheeks. Not just from pain—but from the way it makes your whole body hum, your stomach fluttering, your thighs trembling as the heat spreads across your skin.

“Tell me what you did” Viktor says softly, hand resting heavy on the small of your back. “I want to hear it. Every detail. Every disgusting little thing you thought I’d never find out.”

You squeeze your eyes shut. But the words come out anyway, shamefully wet, broken between breaths.

“I—I took your shirts. I slept in them. T-Touched myself in them—”

SMACK

You wail, jerking forward. The burn makes your thighs twitch.

“And?” he prompts, unhurried.

Your voice hitches. “I wore your tie under my clothes… in the lab. It smelled like you. I—I kept your stuff—used them—and I thought about you while—while—”

SMACK

It cracks against the underside of your ass—raw and flushed. You sob outright now, hiccuping with the humiliation of it all, drool wetting the crook of your arm.

“You filthy thing” Viktor breathes, the roughness in his voice betraying how much this is affecting him. “I gave you a position in my lab. I trusted you.”

You nod helplessly, whimpering.

“And this is how you repay me?” He grabs a fistful of your hair and gently tugs your head back so you’re forced to look at him over your shoulder. “With secret orgasms and ruined underwear stuffed in your locker?”

Your lips tremble. “I’m sorry—I didn’t— I just—”

“You just what?” he snaps.

“I couldn’t help it…” you whisper.

He stares at you for a long, heavy moment. Then—he lets go. Pushes your head gently down again. And with a sigh, slides his hand between your thighs.

You twitch violently. His knuckles glide over slick skin.

“Pathetic” he murmurs.

You sob, hips shivering. “I know—I’m sorry—!”

He chuckles—low and amused, but not kind. “No. You’re not. You’re enjoying this far too much.”

His hand lifts.

SMACK

You cry out, the sound shameless and high, echoing off the walls of the lab. It lands square on the most tender part of your ass, and your whole body flinches from the force of it.

“You’re not innocent at all, are you?” he murmurs. “All that shy eye contact. Helping me with my notes. Laughing like some bashful little thing at my compliments.”

You hiccup through your tears. ���I-I wanted you to notice…”

Another pause.

And then, slowly, you feel him lean in, his chest pressed against your spine. His breath warms the shell of your ear.

“Well” Viktor whispers, “you got my attention now.”

His hand slides up your back again, fingertips teasing over your spine, then slipping back down to your bruised ass. He traces the lines of each handprint.

“I should make you stay like this for hours” he says. “Arched over my knee, dripping like a bitch in heat. Let you think about what you’ve done.”

You mewl softly, your thighs slick and sticky where they press together. You feel so raw. So open. Your entire body hums with tension.

SMACK

You jerk forward again, breath breaking in your throat. That one hurt. But it leaves a heat that makes your clit throb with need, your hips grinding down before you can stop yourself.

Viktor laughs. A warm, cruel sound.

“Can’t help yourself, can you? So desperate you’re rutting against my thigh like a needy little animal.”

You wail into the desk. “I-I’m sorry—I c-can’t—”

SMACK

Another strike. And another. You lose count.

By the time he slows, your skin is bright with flushed heat, handprints like painted stains across your ass and thighs. You’re sobbing, face wet, hips twitching involuntarily with every shift of his lap beneath you.

Viktor strokes your back softly, at odds with the harshness of before. “That’s better,” he murmurs. “There she is. My good little lab assistant. All flushed and well-behaved again.”

You whimper.

“Next time” he says, “if you want something of mine…” He brushes your ruined panties back up with care, fingers ghosting over your inner thigh as he tucks the fabric into place, “…you’ll ask.”

You nod, broken. “Y-Yes, sir.”

He helps you sit up, cradling your hips as you wince from the movement. His eyes trail over your tear-streaked cheeks, the wet shine on your thighs.

“Good girl” he murmurs, brushing his thumb over your cheek.

Then, with a dark smile:

“Now clean yourself up. You look like a mess.”

You thought he wouldn’t find out again.

That you’d learned to be sneakier.

Quieter. More discreet.

But when you opened your locker this morning, expecting your stash to be safe and undisturbed, there was a folded note waiting inside. Neat handwriting. Sharp pen strokes. A single line:

My office. Now.

Now you’re in his lap again—but not the way you daydream about.

Viktor doesn’t even look at you.

His jaw is set. His eyes are on the opposite wall, and his grip around your waist is firm—stern fingers pressing into the dip of your back, forcing your spine straight, your legs spread wide on either side of his.

“Third time” he says, voice low and cold, vibrating through your thighs where they sit flush to his. “Third. And I was going to be merciful.”

You open your mouth—but the look he gives you slices through any excuse before it can form.

“Don’t even try it” he mutters. “I found my handkerchief in your drawer. Ruined. My undershirt—again. And a photo of me. Where did you even get that, hm?”

You can’t speak. You just squirm. The shame sits low in your stomach, curling like a knot, especially when you feel the shape of him under you—hard beneath the fabric of his trousers. He hasn’t moved you an inch since pulling you down onto his lap, but the threat in his stillness is clear.

“You like being punished” Viktor says, almost to himself. “The spanking only got you wetter. You want me to lose patience.”

His hand slides from your back down to your hip, then between your legs—finding you wet already through your panties. He breathes in slowly, then gives a hollow, humorless laugh.

“See?” he murmurs. “Dripping.”

You whimper softly. His fingers rub in slow, maddening circles over the soaked fabric, just enough pressure to make you roll your hips without thinking—just enough to make your clit throb.

“Desperate little thief” he whispers. “You just can’t help yourself.”

Your breath hitches. “P-Please—”

But his hand stops.

He stills everything. Even his breath.

“No” he says. “No, no. Not yet. You don’t get to beg.”

You try not to squirm. But you can’t help it. Sitting on his lap like this—needy and humiliated—makes it impossible to stay still. Especially when he finally begins to move his fingers again, slow and cruel, brushing over the damp fabric without mercy.

“You’ll sit right here” he says softly. “And you’ll take everything I give you. But you will not come. Do you understand?”

You nod frantically. “Y-Yes—yes, sir—”

His hand grabs your throat. Not tight. Just a warning squeeze as he brings his lips near your ear.

“Say it properly.”

Your thighs quake. “I’ll take everything you give me, sir. I won’t come.”

A low sound vibrates in his chest—pleased. And then he does reward you: fingers pushing the soaked fabric aside, slipping into the heat between your folds. Just the pads of two fingers, circling your clit. Featherlight. Over and over and over.

You choke on a gasp, already twitching. His other hand holds your hip down to keep you from rocking forward too much.

“Look at you” he murmurs. “Soaked and shaking just from this. If I dipped my fingers in, I’d drown.”

You whine, high and broken. Your clit pulses under every stroke, the pressure building too fast to make sense. You press your face into his collar, hot tears forming as your legs begin to tremble.

“Sir—I can’t—I need—”

“No” he says, and stops.

Your whole body jerks. A strangled sob escapes you—raw and pathetic. Your hips grind down helplessly against his thigh, but he doesn’t move.

“Did I tell you you could come?”

“N-No—”

“Then stop whining.”

You clamp your mouth shut. Your thighs twitch again. He starts again.

Slower. Meaner.

Two fingers now, circling your clit in tight, precise movements. Every time you start to shake—every time your breath breaks or your hips twitch—he stops. Holds you there. Lets your body flutter with the emptiness of it. Lets the orgasm sit on the edge and wither.

And again.

And again.

And again.

Your slick is coating the inside of your thighs now, soaking into his pants. You’re crying in earnest—hot, breathless sobs that leave you choking. Not just from the frustration—but the shame. You can feel how desperate you are. Feel how your cunt clenches around nothing. How your body writhes for him. How you’re being turned into a pathetic mess without even getting off.

“You’re going to remember this” Viktor whispers. “Every time you touch something of mine again. Every time you lie. You’ll remember what it felt like to be made a useless little toy.”

You sob again, your lips brushing the side of his neck. “Please—please—sir—!”

“Do you think you deserve to come?”

“I—I don’t know—”

“Wrong answer.”

He slaps your clit. Just once. One wet, sharp slap to the swollen bundle of nerves, and your body jerks like it’s been shocked. It doesn’t hurt—it burns. The frustration bubbles up your spine, tears spilling fast now.

He starts again.

Softer this time. Barely touching. But you feel everything. Every flick. Every stroke. And your thighs twitch uncontrollably, your hips bucking, your pussy fluttering around emptiness with a sobbing gasp.

“I feel you clenching” he murmurs. “You’re close again.”

You nod wildly.

“Beg.”

You whimper. “Please, sir—please, I—I need it—I need to come so bad—please—”

“Say you’ll be good.”

“I’ll be good—! I swear—I’ll never steal again—”

“You said that last time.”

“I mean it this time—! Please—I’ll do anything—”

He strokes once more. One final, devastating flick.

And stops.

Your orgasm dies on impact.

You scream, clutching at his shirt, soaking the front of his trousers with slick and tears and drool and sweat. You’re shaking like a leaf, your thighs spasming, your clit swollen and throbbing with denied pleasure.

“I—please—I c-can’t—I can’t take any more—!”

Viktor just holds you.

Silent.

Unmoving.

“You don’t get to come” he says quietly, brushing your hair from your face. “You didn’t earn it.”

Your entire body trembles in his arms.

“Maybe next time” he adds, voice like velvet and iron, “if you ask first—before stealing—you’ll be treated like something other than a needy, filthy brat.”

He kisses your temple once.

Then he lifts you, gently, and sets you down on your knees in front of him.

“Now sit” he commands. “Hands on your thighs. And be still.”

You obey. Bare, swollen and soaked—your ruined cunt twitching between your thighs. Tears dry on your cheeks. You don’t dare move.

Viktor just watches you with cold, quiet satisfaction.

“Maybe I’ll let you come tomorrow” he muses. “Maybe I won’t.”

[uhohdad]

(18+) ABUSE & NON-CONSENSUAL THEMES

⁺₊ ⭑⁺₊ ⭑₊⋆⁺₊ ⁺₊ ⭑⁺₊ ⭑₊⋆⁺₊ ⁺₊ ⭑⁺₊ ⭑₊⋆⁺₊

König Voiceline Inspired Drabbles

“I can make you talk.”

⁺₊ ⭑⁺₊ ⭑₊⋆⁺₊ ⁺₊ ⭑⁺₊ ⭑₊⋆⁺₊ ⁺₊ ⭑⁺₊ ⭑₊⋆⁺₊

“This is a huge misunderstanding! I just got lost!”

The coarse ropes around your wrists and ankles are unforgiving, a rashy burn igniting your skin with each desperate thrash against them. Another length of thick, scratchy rope is snug to the space between your chest and your stomach, keeping your back flush with the chair you’re secured to.

You have no idea if anyone can even hear your echoed pleas, the blindfold tied tightly around the back of your head sparing you from your unbearably quiet, freezing prison.

“Please!”

Your voice is raw and sniveling, tears soaking into your blindfold before they can crest your cheeks. You end on a whine, your head lulling forward in defeat.

The sound of a heavy metal door creaking open floods the room, and your head perks up with a gasp.

“Please, please - help me!”

You get no response, only the sound of heavy bootsteps as they approach. Intimidating and confident, each slow, rhythmic step making you brace a little tighter.

You suck in a breath through your teeth, shoulders pulled up and body trembling in your chair.

“Please,” You whisper, your shaky plea made of only breath, “I’m not supposed to be here.”

The bootsteps come to a stop in front of you, the sound of your squeaky, stuttered breaths following.

“No, you’re not.”

You flinch at your captor’s voice, rough and gravelly and stern, certainly not the voice of the savior you were praying for.

“So what are you doing here, hm?”

“I-” Your mouth is dry, words cracked and broken, “I got lost- Please! I made a wrong turn and I got lost! I- I didn’t mean-”

“I’m supposed to believe that?”

He scoffs.

“What business does a brat like you have all the way out here?”

“Wh- it was - my friend! She got drunk, she needed me to pick her up from a- a party.”

His laughs, loud and hearty and truly gut-wrenching.

“There’s nothing out here but us.”

“Y- It was a woods, thing. I don’t know! Some rave in the middle of nowhere, I swear!”

He laughs again, this one low and sinful, a deep hum stitched in.

“Nice try, liebling.”

There’s a pause, and when he speaks again, his low, raspy whisper is inches from your face. The heat of his breath on your cheek sends a shudder down your spine.

“But I don’t believe you.”

You let out a whine, your mouth parting and your brows pinching behind your blindfold.

“Who sent you here, liebling?”

“No one!”

He keeps his face inches from yours, surely enjoying the front row seat to your stammering bottom lip and your pathetic snivels.

“No one?” He asks, tone strict.

The ropes dig further into your skin at your heaved sob.

“I just got lost!”

Your captor laughs again, deep and weighty, a sound that makes your insides twist and forces another whine from your lips.

“I have to admit-”

The cocky smirk on his lips is palpable, dripping from his words and searing your skin on contact.

“I was hoping you would make this difficult for me, liebling.”

You flinch when a large, coarse glove gently melds the side of your face, a gentle thumb hooking underneath your jaw to keep your head titled up at him.

“Usually I prefer more -”

He hums in the tune of condescension as he chooses his next words.

“- Standard methods of torture - ”

He ignores your squirms and your nearly unintelligible, breathy pleas, his hand keeping your head firmly in place.

“But it’s been awhile since I’ve gotten to play with a toy as pretty as you.”

Your body stills, breaths ceasing and heart pounding against your restraints at the implication of his threatening words - spoken with an arrogant, yet eerily soft tongue.

Your captor’s gloved thumb grazes over your chin, pulling down on your plush bottom lip and watching it spring into place once released. He guides your face to the side, soft fabric smoothing against your skin as he places a lingering, clothed kiss on your cheek.

The heart beating furiously in your chest halts at the sound of his pant zipper coming undone.

When he pulls away, he keeps his low, whispered words right in your ear.

“Maybe if I take that sweet little voice away from you, you’ll be eager to use it when I give it back.”

⁺₊ ⭑⁺₊ ⭑₊⋆⁺₊ ⁺₊ ⭑⁺₊ ⭑₊⋆⁺₊ ⁺₊ ⭑⁺₊ ⭑₊⋆⁺₊

“They are no match for me”

“Let’s be honest, it’s better off in my hands”

[ariaste]

The fact that you've taught writing classes before does not surprise me at all (new reader here, currently giggling my way through running close to the wind's audiobook. First time in a while I've repeatedly laughed so hard from reading a new book!).

I'm sure you've answered asks with variations of "how to write a book before" but do you happen to have any for "how to actually get a book to the finish line when your first draft is a mess"? Only if you'd like to share of course! I have just been working on my first attempt to actually revamp a first draft into something decent and uh. It sure. Is going.

So the big problem with a first draft of a novel is that not only is it messy, it is also generally kind of unwieldy. A novel draft is a very large thing, and it has too many parts to keep track of, and all the plot threads are a tangled mess, and nothing is streamlined and aerodynamic, let alone ergodynamic, so it's very easy to get overwhelmed and lost in the weeds.

So the answer, at least for me, is to break it down into smaller steps, and the first step is to spend an afternoon getting organized and taking inventory so you know what raw material you have and it's easier to see the whole thing. Basically, skim through your draft and take notes of each plot beat or the highlights of each scene -- sometimes I do this with index cards so that I could lay them out on the floor or tape them to a wall (like murderboards!!!) and move them around. If you have been doing all of your writing on the computer, I would recommend trying out real index cards (as opposed to something still on the computer) because it's going to force your brain to look at it in a new way, and sometimes moving your body around by crawling around on the floor trying to play Twister with your index cards gets the ideas moving.

I also find that arranging the index cards into separate groupings for each act of the plot arc is useful because then you can step back and see "Oh, wow, i have way too much going on in Act One, and Act Three is really skimpy" and readjust the balance.

When I have done my index cards and spent some time moving things around if there is anything that needs to be moved, I copy everything onto a spreadsheet in order, with a to-do list of everything in each scene that needs to be fixed. Sometimes I add color-coding, especially if there are entire thematic threads that need to be adjusted. Sometimes I add columns about what the protagonist's character arc is doing so I can make sure THAT is nice and smoothed out. It just depends on what the book needs -- every book is different! (If you don't mind spoilers, here are the murderboards i did for an early draft of A Taste of Gold and Iron and for A Choir of Lies so you can see the method in action)

Hope that helps. :D And yes my writing class was 60 hours of me talking nonstop about writing lifehacks like this. Glad you are enjoying Running Close to the Wind! (There is an official discord server linked on my website if you need folks to talk to about it! :D)

[catiroll]

Back again, Piltover girl* ੈ✩‧₊˚ Sevika

Pairing: Sevika x desperate fem Reader

Summary: broken trust and lingering feelings have to be dealt with eventually.

Previous chapter

Word count: 2.5k

Warning: alil arguing in the beginning but yall make up by the end.

* ੈ✩‧₊˚You couldn’t let it end like this. At first, you clung to hope, reaching out through every possible way —texts, voice messages, even an email, a method you’d never imagined using with Sevika. Desperation had become your shadow, and it bled into every word you typed.

-Hey, vika. Can we talk? Please, just let me explain…

Read 6:49 PM

The message sent, the seconds ticking by like hours as you stared at the screen, willing her to respond. She didn’t.

-I know you’re angry, and I don’t blame you, but I need you to know the truth…

Read 2:01 PM

Each day a new message but still nothing. You typed and retyped every word, trying to make her see your sincerity. The silence felt heavier, like a weight pressing on your chest.

-I’m sorry. For everything. For not telling you sooner. Please, just hear me out.

Read 9:33 AM

Apologies spilled from your heart, but the silence on the other end remained deafening. A knot tightened in your stomach as you realized she was deliberately ignoring you



-Hey , I know things ended for a reason, but I miss you and still care about you deeply.

Sent 4:59 PM

It hit you like a physical blow—hard and unforgiving. Sevika had blocked you. She hadn’t just distanced herself; she had cut you off completely, slamming the door so firmly that no amount of knocking could force it open.

The realization stole the air from your lungs, leaving a hollow ache in its place. She wasn’t just angry—she wanted you gone. The woman who once filled your nights with warmth, whose voice had been your sanctuary, was now unreachable, leaving only silence and the echoes of what you’d lost.

You weren’t one to give up easily, especially not with someone like her. A week later, fate intervened. You saw her by chance outside The Last Drop, the dim neon sign casting an eerie glow over her as she stepped into the street, the crowd parting around her intimidating figure. She looked rough—her left arm bruised, knuckles raw, her movements stiff as though every step sent a jolt of pain through her body. Her face bore the hardened, unapproachable look of someone who’d been through hell and refused to admit it.

But you couldn’t just watch her fade into the shadows. Not again.

“Sevika!” you called out, your voice cutting through the murmur of Zaun’s streets. You jogged after her as she quickened her pace, shoulders hunched in a futile attempt to disappear. “Wait, please! Let me help you!”

She stopped so suddenly that you nearly ran into her. When she turned to face you, her imposing presence felt suffocating, the dim light catching the sharp angles of her jaw and the storm brewing in her eyes. Even injured, she radiated strength, but it was the kind laced with danger.

“Help me?” she repeated, her words low and laced with venom. “You’ve done enough.”

You faltered under her glare but forced yourself to stand your ground. “I’m not here to fight,” you said, your voice trembling but steady enough. “I’m worried about you. Look at yourself, Sevika. You’re hurt.”

She let out a bitter laugh, the sound harsh and hollow. “Worried?” she said, the corner of her mouth curling in a mocking smirk. “I’ve handled worse, sweetheart. Don’t flatter yourself.”

“It’s not pity,” you pressed, stepping closer despite her retreat. “It’s... care. Why can’t you see that?”

Her eyes narrowed, her jaw tightening until the muscle twitched. For a brief, fleeting moment, you thought she might relent, that she might let the wall crumble. But her expression hardened again, colder than before.

“Care?” she repeated, her voice rising, sharp and accusing. “You care about me? Is that why you lied? Why you pretended to be something you’re not?”

“I didn’t mean to—”

“Save it,” she snapped, cutting you off like a blade slicing through air. She took a step back, shaking her head as if to clear away whatever doubts had momentarily surfaced. “Go back to Piltover. It’s where you belong.”

Her words landed like blows, each syllable chipping away at the resolve you’d built to face her. You opened your mouth to protest, but the lump in your throat stopped you. Before you could find the words, she turned on her heel and strode into the darkness, her figure quickly swallowed by Zaun’s twisting alleys.

You stood there, the faint hum of flickering streetlights the only sound, the ache in your chest growing with every second she disappeared from view. Frustration warred with heartbreak, and you were left rooted to the spot, wondering if there was anything you could have said to change her mind—or if you’d already lost her for good.

Sevika’s mind was a battlefield that night, each thought clashing violently against the next. She barricaded herself in her dimly lit apartment, the air heavy with the smell of smoke and stale whiskey. She clutched the nearly-empty bottle, the burn in her throat barely a distraction from the turmoil inside her. The argument replayed on an endless loop, your words echoing louder with each pass.

“Let me help you.”

“It’s… care.”

“Why can’t you see that?”

She scoffed at the memory, tipping the bottle to her lips. Care. That look in your eyes—raw, genuine—refused to leave her alone. Why did you care? Why couldn’t she shake the way it made her feel, equal parts furious and exposed?

You had lied. For months, you had kept secrets, building something she thought was real on a foundation of half-truths. And yet… you cared. The contradiction gnawed at her, each sip of whiskey doing little to dull its bite.

By the time the bottle was drained, Sevika was pacing her cramped apartment, the floorboards creaking under her heavy boots. Her jaw tightened as her thoughts spiraled, landing on someone she never imagined she’d willingly seek out for advice. Jinx.

She found the manic powder monkey perched on a railing at Sevika’s hideout, balancing with unnerving ease as though gravity was optional.

“So, lemme get this straight,” Jinx began, twirling a stray strand of blue hair around her finger. “You love her, but you’re mad ‘cause she’s from Piltover, and now you don’t know if you wanna forgive her?”

Sevika ran a hand down her face, her metal fingers clicking against her skin as she pinched the bridge of her nose. “It’s not that simple, Jinx. She lied to me. She hid it for months. What else could she be hiding?”

Jinx flipped off the railing with a laugh, landing in a crouch before standing to her full height. Her grin was wide, toothy, and entirely unhelpful. “Sounds like you’re overthinking it. Look, if you love her, you love her. Doesn’t matter if she’s from Piltover or the freaking moon. Look at Cait and Vi. They’ve got all kinds of reasons to hate each other, but they don’t let it stop ‘em. ‘Cause love, Sev, is messy and stupid and worth it.”

Sevika’s brow furrowed, her arms crossing defensively. “Messy and stupid,” she muttered, her tone dripping with skepticism. “You don’t get it, Jinx. She was pretending to be someone she’s not. How am I supposed to trust her again?”

Jinx tilted her head, her grin fading just enough for a glimmer of sincerity to shine through. “You don’t trust her yet. Fine. But does she make you feel alive? Does she make you wanna fight harder, even when you’re ready to give up?”

The words hit like a punch to the gut, and Sevika hated how much they resonated. She didn’t answer, but her silence was enough for Jinx.

“Thought so.” Jinx twirled her gun absentmindedly, her grin snapping back into place. “Look, I’m not sayin’ it’s easy. But sitting here sulking? That’s not you, Sev. Go fix your mess before you’re stuck staring at walls and bottles forever.”

Sevika shook her head, half-exasperated, half-contemplative. “Since when did you become a romantic?”

Jinx winked, her wild energy back in full force. “I’m full of surprises. Now go!”

As Jinx bounded off into the darkness, Sevika stood rooted to the spot, her thoughts no longer a whirlwind but a razor-sharp conviction cutting through the fog. She wasn’t one to run from a fight, and this wasn’t any different. But could she fight for something she wasn’t sure she still deserved?

Her fists clenched at her sides, the faint ache in her bruised knuckles grounding her. She didn’t have the answer yet, but for the first time in weeks, she wasn’t drowning in doubt.

Maybe Jinx was right. Maybe love really was messy, stupid, and worth every damn risk.

The next day, you woke to a single notification: Sevika had unblocked you. And there was a message.

-Meet me at The Last Drop. We need to talk.

Read 9:48 PM

Your breath hitched, the words igniting a whirlwind of emotions—hope, fear, and dread all at once. As the day passed, the weight of the message settled deeper in your chest. By the time you started getting dressed that evening, your hands were trembling.

Your mind raced as you stood in front of the mirror, fumbling with buttons. What would she say? Would she hear you out? What if this was just to end things for good? Each thought seemed to constrict your chest further, your breathing shallow and erratic.

Get a grip, you told yourself, gripping the edge of the sink. You focused on the cool porcelain beneath your fingers, counting your breaths until the pressure in your chest eased. It wasn’t perfect, but it was enough to get you out the door.

When you arrived at The Last Drop, the air inside was thick with smoke and the hum of distant conversation. Sevika sat at a corner table, her broad frame half-shadowed under the flickering neon lights. She didn’t look up immediately, her posture guarded but lacking its usual sharp edge.

You swallowed hard and made your way over, sliding into the seat across from her. Your nerves buzzed, but you forced yourself to meet her eyes.

“Thanks for coming,” she said gruffly, her tone neutral, though her fingers toyed with the rim of her glass—a small tell of unease.

“Of course,” you replied, your voice thin but steady. “I’m just… glad you’re giving me a chance to explain.”

Her gaze snapped to yours then, sharp and unyielding. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked, her voice low but edged with steel. “That you were from Piltover?”

The weight of her words pressed against your chest. You drew in a shaky breath, your fingers curling against the edge of the table. “Because I was scared,” you admitted. “I knew how you felt about people from the upper city, and I didn’t want to lose you before we even had a chance. I… I didn’t think you’d understand.”

Her eyes narrowed, frustration flickering across her face. “So, what? You thought lying was the better option?”

“No,” you said quickly, your voice cracking slightly. “I know it wasn’t. I should’ve told you the truth. But Sevika… you mean so much to me, and I was terrified you’d walk away if you knew. I didn’t want to risk losing you.”

Her jaw tightened, and for a moment, the silence stretched unbearably. Then she leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms. “You think I haven’t had people lie to me before? Hide things? It’s a damn pattern in my life.”

Her words stung, but you didn’t back down. “I know,” you said softly, your voice steady despite the ache in your chest. “And I hate that I added to that. I didn’t want to hurt you, Sevika. I thought I was protecting what we had, but I see now I just made it worse.”

Her gaze softened, just a fraction. She sighed, running a hand through her hair. “It’s not about Piltover,” she muttered, her voice quieter now. “Hell, I’ve got plenty of reasons to hate that place, but this isn’t about that. It’s about trust. And you broke it.”

You nodded, the lump in your throat threatening to choke you. “I know. But I want to earn it back. If you’ll let me.”

Another tense silence lingered, but as it stretched, Sevika’s shoulders seemed to relax slightly. She uncrossed her arms, leaning forward ever so slightly. “You really think this is gonna be easy?”

“No,” you said firmly, meeting her gaze. “I don’t. But you’re worth it.”

Her lips quirked into the barest hint of a smile. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to fill you with a cautious hope. Slowly, as the conversation continued, the space between you began to shrink—first figuratively, then literally.

Sevika’s chair inched closer, and she leaned her elbows on the table, her gaze less guarded. The edge in her voice softened as the two of you navigated the minefield of emotions. By the time she let out a quiet laugh—at what, you couldn’t even remember—the tension had melted into something warmer, more familiar.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, she looked at you, her expression softer than you’d seen in weeks. “I’m not saying it’ll be easy,” she said, her voice low, “but if you’re willing to stick it out… maybe we can try again.”

Your chest tightened with relief, a smile breaking across your face. “I want that. More than anything.”

For the first time, Sevika smiled—a small, hesitant curve of her lips that held more weight than words ever could.

“Don’t make me regret this,” she said, leaning closer, her voice almost a whisper.

“I won’t,” you promised.

And as she closed the remaining distance, brushing her lips against yours, the world seemed to still. The kiss was tentative at first, a delicate testing of boundaries, but it quickly deepened, filled with unspoken forgiveness and the promise of a new beginning.

When she pulled back, her smirk returned, this time full of her familiar confidence. “You’re lucky I’m a sucker for stubborn people.”

You laughed, the sound light and free for the first time in weeks. “And you’re lucky I’m stubborn enough to stick around.”

The future was uncertain, but as you sat there with Sevika, closer than you’d been in weeks, you knew it was a fight worth having.

WOOOOO WAR IS OVER. I set up my inbox so PLEASEEEEEEEE send me requests or anything’s atp hope u liked it mwah.

Unofficial taglist: @lizziecanrailme @lovemoneybtw @seggskink @jukka08 @sagegreensage @jannesyjane @gracie-gloom @mall-fountain-daydream @theirlaliengirl

[roseandxanderfics]

"You struggle with them for power" - (NFSW headcanon) - Peaky Blinders x reader

Tommy Shelby

Tommy Shelby has built his entire life around control. His mind is always working, always calculating the next move. Everything he does is with intention, and when he gets you in his grasp, it’s no different. He doesn’t just want your body; he wants your compliance. His control extends into every part of his life—especially in the bedroom.

When Tommy takes you, it’s with a quiet, methodical precision. He moves like a man used to getting what he wants, and with you, it’s no exception. His hands don’t caress—they grip. His lips don’t kiss—they command. “Don’t make me ask twice,” he growls low, his voice a cold promise. Every time he touches you, there’s a deliberate power in it. He wants to feel your surrender, your resistance crumbling under his hands.

There’s an intensity in the way he watches you, his eyes never leaving yours, as if he’s waiting for you to beg, to ask for more. The power struggle here isn’t just physical; it’s mental. Tommy wants to break your resolve without ever letting on how much he’s drawn to you. Each thrust is slow, controlled, his eyes flickering with a barely contained hunger as he watches your body respond. “Tell me you want me,” he demands, his tone rough as his hand grips your jaw. “Tell me you’re mine.”

It’s a test, a power struggle he orchestrates, and when you give in—when you tell him what he needs to hear—there’s a moment of satisfaction that crosses his face. His breathing hardens, and you know he’s not just claiming you physically; he’s staking his dominance over your mind. When it’s over, he holds you in the silence, the power shift now complete. “You did well,” he murmurs, the praise a rare gift, almost as if you’re the one who earned it rather than him.

---------

Alfie Solomons

Alfie Solomons is all unpredictability wrapped in a chaotic package. He’s a wild card, a man who thrives in the mess, in the unspoken language of power. With Alfie, you’re never going to get the soft, romantic gestures. Instead, you’ll get an intense force, a constant back-and-forth, where he tests you, taunts you, and breaks you down in the process.

The moment Alfie touches you, it’s not gentle. It’s rough and almost invasive, but there’s a hunger in it—his way of asserting his presence. “Thought you could just walk in here and not get a taste of me?” he growls, lips curling into a half-smirk. He moves like a man who has nothing to lose, his hands gripping your hips as if he’s about to claim you as his property. But with Alfie, the game is always a little more unpredictable. He’s just as likely to pull away and let you catch your breath as he is to push you past your limits.

He doesn’t care about your resistance. In fact, he seems to feed off it. “I like it when you try and fight me,” he sneers, his voice rough and teasing. Each movement feels like a challenge. As much as he wants to take you—he wants you to want him back. He wants the fight, the struggle. “You think you can get away from me, eh? Not a chance.”

When you beg him to stop, when you’re almost at the breaking point, Alfie smirks, pulling you even closer. “Not yet, love,” he chuckles darkly, dragging you through the intensity of it all. He isn’t gentle, but there’s a deep satisfaction in the way he claims you, his words dripping with possessiveness. “You’re mine now. Ain’t no turning back.”

And when it’s all over, Alfie stays close, his rough hands brushing your hair back from your face as he looks at you with that dangerous half-smile. “Didn’t know you had it in you, love. Well done.”

--------

John Shelby

John Shelby is a man of passion, both in the boardroom and in the bedroom. His energy is raw, his love for you intense, and his need to dominate is fueled by his protective instincts. With John, there’s no subtlety—he doesn’t hide his feelings. He feels everything deeply, and when he takes you, he makes sure you feel every bit of it.

The moment John gets his hands on you, there’s no slow buildup. His desire is urgent, and he makes it known. His kisses are rough, desperate, as though he can’t get enough of you. “I’m not waiting any longer,” he growls, his voice heavy with need as he pulls you close. There’s a brutal honesty in the way he touches you—he wants to feel every part of you, wants to know you’re with him, that you’re his.

The power struggle with John isn’t subtle. He doesn’t care if you resist. In fact, he’ll push harder if you do. “You want to fight me, yeah?” he smirks, his grip tight on your waist as he pulls you closer, the force of it nearly knocking the breath from your chest. He doesn’t hold back, his thrusts fast and intense, as if he’s trying to prove something to himself, to you.

As the intensity builds, so does his need for validation. He demands your praise, your confirmation that you want this too. “Say it,” he growls, voice low and commanding, as his pace doesn’t falter. “Tell me you need me.”

Afterwards, John doesn’t back away. He pulls you into him, his hand gently stroking your hair as if making sure you’re still there, still his. “You were incredible,” he says softly, his voice now full of affection. “I won’t forget this.”

------------

Arthur Shelby

Arthur Shelby is a man of extremes—one minute calm, the next wild, driven by his darker instincts. With Arthur, the power struggle isn’t about control—it’s about survival. He needs to dominate because it’s the only way he knows how to deal with the world, the only way he can make sense of his own chaos. When he takes you, there’s a dangerous edge to it, a rawness that you know won’t let you escape.

Arthur doesn’t hold back. His hands are rough, gripping your body as if he’s afraid he might lose you. “Don’t make me do this,” he growls, his eyes dark with desire. He needs to prove something to himself—to you—that he’s in control, even when everything else is falling apart around him. His thrusts are relentless, powerful, almost as though he’s punishing you, yet with each movement, there’s an underlying tenderness, as if he’s afraid of breaking you.

“You’re mine, understand?” he demands, his voice hoarse as he presses his body against yours. It’s not just about the physical connection; it’s about claiming you in a way that calms the storm inside of him. When you respond, when you give in to him, he releases a shaky breath, something close to relief in the way he holds you after. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?” His voice softens, the roughness gone, replaced by a deep, almost desperate need for assurance.

--------

Michael Gray

Michael Gray is calculated, deliberate, and when he finally decides to let go, it’s a sharp contrast to his usual restraint. There’s an elegance to the way he moves, even in his most passionate moments, and he treats you with a quiet, almost reverential kind of dominance. The power struggle with Michael isn’t as brash as with the others; it’s more of a mental game, a test of wills.

When Michael touches you, it’s not with the same roughness as the others—it’s more restrained, almost slow. He’s watching you closely, studying your every reaction, every little sigh or moan. “Do you trust me?” he asks softly, his voice almost soothing, but there’s a steel edge to it. “Let me take care of you.”

His pace is slow, deliberate, as if he’s savoring the control he has over you. The power struggle lies in the way he manipulates the situation, pulling back just when you need him most, then pushing forward with a new intensity. “You need to say it,” he whispers, pressing you to your breaking point. “Tell me you need me.”

When it’s over, Michael doesn’t immediately leave. He’s calm, cool, his touch gentle as he strokes your hair. “You did well,” he says quietly, as if he’s proud of how you’ve handled the power dynamic. And for a moment, you wonder if he’s secretly proud of himself too.

[fairlyang]

Chapter 4. Alright

⋆˙⟡♡✧˖° love island au x miguel o’hara ⋆˙⟡♡✧˖°

★‧°𖦹｡⋆ miguel o’hara x mexican!bombshell!reader ⋆｡𖦹°‧★

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ W/C: 7.7K

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ CONTENT: raúl cooks for you, you and peter b play judges, surprise girls chat, they help you get ready, you give a toast, you have some chats before the game and recoupling

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ SUMMARY: what will your game plan be before the recoupling? will you get your flirt on? do I smell some jealousy spewing? keep reading to find out!

previous part — series masterlist — next part

You were in the kitchen, leaning against the counter as you watched everyone chat and joke around. You were thinking back to all the chats you had today. You had a very nice talk with Peter and he was so sweet, and surprisingly funny.

He cracked a few jokes and cheesy pickup lines he said he used on Gwen during their first few days. The whole time he couldn’t stop talking about her and everything he liked about her which was very cute.

So you didn’t bother making a move just because you felt other chats went better and you didn’t have to force them so you’d just let him be because he seemed happy.

Now Danny, on the other hand was very straight forward and it did sound brutal at first which he quickly apologized for, but he was not the slightest bit interested. He said that he wanted to focus all in on Jazmin and you respected it.

It was very brief and he pretty much left you by yourself on the swing set but not for long before your new besties came in and sat down with you.

That was the point where you somewhat told them how your chats went but for the most part, you kept a lot of things to yourself.

You weren’t so sure yourself of everything and with a recoupling looming, it was very nerve wracking. Even more than before.

So after a couple hours of chill chats and getting to know the islanders further, it was time for everyone to eat. You were told you could either order something from places nearby or cook something yourself.

You were going to cook but that was when Raúl looked at you like you were crazy and had a third eye on your forehead, and he offered to make you dinner. So obviously, you took his offer and he happily got to work.

Bad part for him was that he all of a sudden had a small audience of two and one in particular that would not shut up.

“So how do you know when the steak is ready?” Peter B asked and Raúl sighed, “Pete, I’m a professional.”

“That doesn’t really answer my question though, doofus.” He spits making Raúl roll his eyes.

He looked at you, wanting some help but you just shrug and he sighs, “I use a meat thermometer but if you wanna be extra, you can use the finger method.”

“What’s-“

He points to you and sticks his hand out with the palm up, “do this for me.”

You do it and he motions for Peter B to feel the base of your thumb. He feels it and then looks up at Raúl, “that’s how raw meat feels.”

He presses your skin and gasps, “wait whattttt-“

You move his finger and get a feel yourself because you’ve never heard of that.

“Now touch the tip of your index finger with the tip of your thumb and that’d be how rare meat feels.” Raúl says and you quickly do it.

You and Peter take turns feeling it, in awe of this new information. Meanwhile Raúl was flipping the steak and making sure every inch was coated in the sauce.

“Ready for medium rare?” He asks and you both look at him with wide eyes, nodding.

“Middle finger and your thumb.” He says and you quickly do it.

He chuckles and shakes his head watching you both fight over who gets to feel it first. You smack his hand away and then feel it for three seconds before pulling away and letting him try it.

“This one feels right.” Peter B says and you nod, “very firm.”

“Y’know what else is fi-“

“Don’t you dare-“ you threaten and he shuts up.

“Fine.”

“So medium well is gonna be with the ring finger?” You ask and Raúl nods, “now you’re getting it.”

You giggle at his teasing tone and switch fingers, getting a feel then letting Peter B try. “It’s a little harder.”

“Yep and lastly is well done.” Raúl says and you move your pinky to touch your thumb.

You let Pete have a turn making him have a face of disgust, “Yuck who wants their steak like that.” Peter B says and gags.

“Don’t exaggerate.” You say and he playfully rolls his eyes.

“Everyone knows the best steaks need some juicy blood in them.” He says and you wince, “you want that bitch to still be mooing at you?”

He scoffs and you bite you lip, fighting back a laugh while Raúl watches.

He finishes up the steak right when you guys started debating, more so arguing while he plated your meal. “Want me to cut the steak for you?” He asks and you look at him, nodding then went back to pointing a finger at Peter B.

He chuckles and sets it on a cutting board before cutting them in inch slices like he always did. He serves up a scoop of the mashed potatoes he made for you before dropping half a spoonful of gravy.

He carefully placed the pieces of steak across from the potatoes then grabbed asparagus with a tong and put them in between everything else so it’d make a little moon shape.

“And voila!” He exclaims and you both quickly looked at him then down at the plate.

“Y/n I think you’re gonna need help with that…” Peter B mumbles, licking his lips.

You gasped and jumped up from the stool and quickly ran around to stand next to Raúl. “Holy shit-“

The food was the most appetizing thing you’ve seen since you’ve been here but the chef was a close second place.

You subconsciously licked your lips and looked at everything carefully. When taking his offer you said you were going to rate it based on presentation, taste, and flavor. He was more than happy that you wanted to play judge because he was confident in his skills.

And the reason Peter B was here was because he knew his skills too. And he wanted a fucking taste.

Suddenly you felt your stomach growl and it made Raúl snicker, “alright fine! Come here Peter, we’ll both judge!!”

He damn near fucking jumped over the counter and before he could pick up a fork you stopped him, “how does it look.”

“Like it wants to go in my mouth-“

“Peter!”

“Uh- a ten out of ten-“

“It’s out of five stars dude!!” You whine and he nods, “five.”

“I agree! Now time to eat!!!” You shout and Raúl passes Peter another fork.

You grabbed the fork that was on the plate and grab a piece of the meat, bringing it to your mouth and the smell was just heavenly. You take a bite and the delicious flavors instantly hit your tongue, you accidentally let out a moan.

Raúl’s eyes widen but he stays composed, decides not to react just for the sake of being a gentleman.

Peter follows suit but eats the whole piece in one go, rolling his eyes back and also moaning. You swallow and tell Peter, “don’t talk with your mouth full okay?”

He nods and goes for another piece right as he swallowed before munching on it as fast as he got it. You scooped up some of the potatoes then grabbed a piece of meat, putting it all in your mouth because all these chats for some reason got you hungry.

You moaned again and looked at Raúl giving him a thumbs up, making him grin. Peter B gave him a pat on the back and he also gave him a thumbs up.

Obviously this did something to his ego, he knew Peter would love it but you’re new so your reaction would be new to him. And boy, did it do something to him.

You swallow and look at the counter, looking for your water bottle when Raúl passes it to you, “thank you!”

“Man I’m going down to your restaurant every fucking day when we get outta here. You’re gonna have a regular customer on your hands.” Peter B announced and you nod, “make that two!”

Raul smiles and you take a long sip of your water, “too bad we don’t have some wine.”

“That’s for later.” He responds and you pout.

“It’s fine I guess, it’s still very tasty!” You exclaim, and go for another bite.

“C’mon, grab some brother, it's only fair the chef eats what he made!” Peter B says and Raúl turns to you.

You nod and give him a grin, “go ahead! We can all share.”

“Afterall, sharing is caring.” Peter B says and Raúl responds, “Well that only works for some things..”

“What doesn’t that work for?” You ask and he shrugs, trying to hide a grin, “first thought was girls, just because of the situation we’re in.”

“Okay I guess that makes sense.” You say and he smiles, “so you don’t like sharing girls?” You ask, making him chuckle.

“Can’t say I do or that I ever have or ever will. Yeah I think I have a jealousy and possessive side when things get serious. It’s quite something…” He admits earning himself a pat on the back from Peter B.

“As you should, that’s just proof that you care plus some jealousy in a relationship is healthy.” He says making you burst out laughing.

Raúl grabs a fork and digs in with him while they wait for you to respond, “you guys are crazy… although sometimes a little jealousy isn’t so bad.”

“That’s what I mean because obviously in here things are gonna happen and there’s so many more factors than the outside.” Raúl explains and you nod.

“Alright I’ll give that to you.” You tease making him chuckle.

You stuffed your mouth with asparagus and then went back to a detail you didn’t know and just completely passed over. You finished chewing, then asked, “Wait, you have a restaurant?!??”

Raúl accidentally lets out a snort and Peter B nearly choked on his food. You cover your face in embarrassment, just now realizing you didn’t know such a big fact about him.

“You guys chatted for ages earlier and that didn’t come up?!?!?” Peter B exclaimed and you shrugged, “oops?”

“No it didn’t- I feel like we still need another proper chat!” Raúl says and you laugh, “okay we do but don’t try to change the subject!”

He chuckles then nods, “I do, I worked as a sous chef for that restaurant for a good amount of years after doing culinary school then the owner got sick and entrusted me with it.”

“He was the head chef and owner, he had full faith in me and he didn’t have any family left so when he passed, he left it all to me.” He explains with a sad look on his face making you feel bad for bringing it up.

“But I was already moving up because of my skills and I was saving money for my own restaurant so I don’t know maybe now that money could be for a future home.” He says and you nod.

“I’m sorry for your loss, I’m sure he would be so proud of you! I bet you’ve been running that kitchen amazingly.” You compliment and he perks up.

He gives you a smile, appreciating the sentiment and says, “yeah I bet he would! Finally happy to see me putting my foot down and everything.”

“See, that's what makes a great chef! And your palate seems good, from the looks of it.” You say and he raises an eyebrow, “what do you know about a palate?”

“I love cooking shows…” you admit, making him chuckle before you quickly add, “and Gordon Ramsey.”

You all stood there sharing the delicious steak dinner and chatting about little things. Once you finished everything on the plate, you helped Raúl with the dishes and that’s when Peter B, all of a sudden was out of sight.

You and Raúl had small talk while he washed the pots and pans and you dried them off. You were so intrigued listening to his stories about culinary school when all of a sudden someone got a text.

Everyone huddled up in the kitchen, turns out it was Peter B who received it. Everyone was looking nervous and anxious as they came in, it was very tense.

Once he took count of everyone's heads, he read it out, "Islanders, it’s time to open up and see what you really think of each other in a card game #SpillTheBeans #HonestyIsTheBestPolicy.”

Everyone sighed and went inside to get ready for the night and the game, just completely making it seem as if the recoupling is nonexistent but it was the only thing on your mind.

You sprinted to the showers along with Gwen. After finishing as fast as you could, you went into the dressing room. You collected a handful of face makeup that matched your skin tone, some brushes and placed them on the table.

Dana and Jazmin were looking at the dresses in the closet when all of a sudden Dana gasps. You looked behind you to look at them, out of curiosity, and she pulled out a gold sparkly dress.

She looks at you and holds it over your body, “this would look so good on you, you rocked the gold earlier.”

You’re taken aback for a few seconds, eyes wide but you felt happy with that comment because it was so unexpected, yet very sweet.

“It is very pretty…” you say and feel the texture as she exclaims, “I say take it, it’s your first official night in here!”

“And I just wanna say I apologize for how I acted yesterday, the whole point of being here is for meeting new people and I just took it all so personally when I shouldn’t have, nor should I have treated you the way I did.” Now you were absolutely speechless.

You did not see this coming whatsoever but it was absolutely welcomed.

You never had anything against her nor came in guns blazing for her man, hell you didn't even get to choose who would be in the damn hot tub with you. This change of heart seemed genuine and she must have somehow seen that you don't have any ill intent towards her.

You smiled at her and grabbed the hanger, “don’t worry about it! I can imagine how things have been in here and I can’t say I can blame you so much.”

She gives you a small smile and you give her one back, “friends?”

“Friends.” She says and gives you an even wider smile.

“Can’t complain about having another girlfriend! Plus I feel like my hell week is coming in which is no excuse but-“

“Oh girl say fucking less- that’s absolutely even more understandable.” You say making her laugh, “no, no I was completely in the wrong! I swear I’m never ever like this.”

“Well I can’t wait to get to know you better, I think friendships in here are very important.” You commented and she nodded, “absolutely and I can’t wait either. And I'm always open to girl talk always.”

“Oh me too!! I love having all the tea.” Jazmin chimes in and you chuckle, “well see about alllll of it…”

“Speaking of… Raúl looked very happy today.” Dana says and wiggles her eyebrows.

“I swear he looked like a puppy getting a brand new toy.” Jazmin adds making you laugh.

“I really liked our chat, he’s very sweet.” You reply and they both nod.

“I swear he and Peter can have a competition, Mig too.” Jazmin says and you sit down, dress on your lap and start doing your makeup.

“Y’know what though, Raúl is even sweeter than I thought he would be.” You respond and they both nod.

“I swear he’s a playful guy but he’s really sweet when he wants to be.” Jazmin says making Dana hum.

“Yeah I can imagine why you’re seeing more of that side already.” She teases, making you chuckle.

“They’re all sooo different but those four are definitely the sweetest.” You agreed, thinking of your chats with each of them and they were such sweethearts.

You all ended up doing your own thing, small chatter but for the most part focused on the makeup process. The other girls came in at some point and did the same, it was quiet at times and also with MJ cracking some jokes but it felt fine and like a little safe space.

You had finished your makeup and decided to do a half up, half down hairstyle. So you dried your hair and Gwen offered to curl it for you so she did that while you picked out a lipstick shade.

“Red would be hot.” Dana says and you shake your head, “too bright.”

“How about a brown?” Val suggests and you nod, “that’d be cute.”

You searched the little drawers to find the perfect shade then the lip liner to match. You got closer to Gwen because there was a large mirror by where she connected the curling iron, plus it being next to the makeup was so convenient.

As the girls were getting ready for a wild night, let’s check on the boys!

The Peter’s were the first to be done getting ready and came up with the grand idea of having a pillow fight, to make the others take even longer to finish dressing up.

And just because they felt like it.

Peter B had smacked Jordan in the face with his own pillow and he sprinted out of his sight only to be met with a pillow to the face himself. David was holding that one with a wide grin on his face and there came the war.

Absolutely every single pillow was being used, even the decorative ones which hurt more because they were heavier.

Half of them were jumping on beds and ducking, doing stupid WWE moves on each other, and the other half were attempting to hide in between beds. Pillows and bodies were flying all over the bedroom and it wasn’t until they heard the loud sounds of laughter did they try to fix everything, including themselves as fast as they could.

They then all scattered out into the living room area, fixing each others clothes then waited by the front door for the grand entrance of all the girls.

Ah it’s good to know the boys still love a good pillow fight! Reminds me of when I used to have them, by myself… and my cat…. anyway..

After all the girls were dressed, and putting on the final touches, you all headed down the hallway. They had you in the absolute back since you were the bombshell but it was fine.

You followed the girls and held onto the railing while carefully going down the stairs in your heels. The boys were waiting at the bottom, hollering and screaming like crazy.

You tried not to laugh and once they all saw you, they whistled and started hollering even louder than before. You just gave them all a wave and once in front of them, doing a little twirl which had them go even crazier.

You laughed and shook your head at them while the ladies led the way. You all got into the bedroom and it looked like a fucking mess. Every single bed was untidy and the only thing that was fine with them all were the pillows.

“Did you guys have another fucking pillow fight?” MJ asks and they all look away, whistling different tunes.

“Real clever.” Gwen jokes and they all continue to walk out.

You follow behind them, feeling a slight breeze as soon as you open the door but it wasn’t so bad. You followed them into the kitchen but then they all began to go down to the table that was near the firepit and by the loungers.

Unfortunately, Peter B sprinted to get there first and started separating drinks as you all got down there.

“Pete, we wanted to be the bartenders!!” MJ whines with a pout on her lips and he just shrugs, “you snooze you lose babe.”

She gives him a glare, and he resists for a few seconds before she makes it more intense and he breaks, “alright, fine. The girls are tonight’s bartenders.”

The rest of the guys got there and gathered around the table, “Finally, our usual one sucks.” Miguel jokes earning himself a glare.

MJ, Gwen, and Dana handed out all the drinks, that amazingly had everyone’s names on each cup with little umbrellas on top.

Gwen handed you yours and once everyone got theirs, you were all in a circle around the table. “I say Y/n should give us a toast tonight.” David suggests and they all quickly agree.

You think of something flirty and witty on the spot, praying it won’t sound dumb, “here’s to a summer of love, great friendships, and hopefully a lot of kisses!!”

“AMEN!”

“Hell yeah!!”

Everyone cheers, clinking cups all around then slowly start to disperse. You decided to start the night off bold and tapped Raúl’s shoulder, “mind if I pull you for a chat?”

“Not at all, where do you wanna go?” He asks and you hum, “the swing set?”

He nods, offering you his arm as he always does, which you gladly accept, and you both walk up some steps then walk past the daybeds. Peter and Gwen were already chatting there and luckily the swing set was empty.

You carefully went up the steps then the little portion of grass and Raúl helped you sit down before sitting down right next to you. You took a sip of your red wine and sighed, “now this is good.”

“Too bad we can only have one drink a night.” He says and takes a sip of his own drink.

“Aww that’s sad!” You say with a pout and he nods, “unfortunately but I don’t think we’ll need much to drink with this game later.”

“Yeah I bet it’s gonna be good!” You added and turned to your side.

You cross your right leg over the left and face him a little more, “I just remembered one thing we didn’t touch on earlier.”

“What was it?” He asked and turned his body a little more to face you.

The tip of your heel touched his leg, only slightly. It didn’t look like he minded so you left it there.

“It’s crazy because compared to my other chats it was usually one of the first things talked about.” You explain and he nods slowly.

Right as you were about to say it his eyes grow wide and he fights back a laugh, “oh fuck-“

“Yeah… so how are things with you and Val?” You ask and he smacks his hand to his face.

He pulls it away and gives you a sheepish grin, “it’s funny because I already had an idea of what I wanted to tell you.”

“No way-“

“Yes way, fuck I can’t believe I forgot.” He mumbles and chuckles, “I mean it was a good chat, that’s why.”

“It really was, I enjoyed it a lot.” You reply, making him smile.

“I did too! Which is why it completely crossed my mind.” He adds and you nod, “understandable.”

“So me and Val… I’ve liked talking to her, she makes the dumbest jokes which makes sense why she gets along with Peter B.” He says and chuckles.

“She’s nice and I’ve enjoyed getting to know her, I chose her because we clicked after our date. Though I did tell her I would still be open to talking to others and she said it was fine as long as I told her about it.” He explains and you nod, “she said she wants honesty and I said absolutely, no problem.” He adds.

“I’d hate to blindside her so I was just open and honest with her earlier.” He says and you nod, “that’s fair.”

“It is crazy how we didn’t touch that subject earlier.” He murmured, making you chuckle, “I know, I mean we were all over the place..”

“Just a bit.” He teases and takes another sip from his glass.

“You look beautiful, by the way. Just another thing that crossed my mind.” He compliments and you smile, “Huh I wonder why.”

He laughs and shrugs, “who knows? Maybe I’m just enjoying my night.”

“Yeah why’s that?” You ask, tilting your head to the side and then quickly add, “the night’s just started.”

“What a man can’t just enjoy his time in the villa?” He teases, making you chuckle.

“No, you definitely can.. just curious is all.” You say as nonchalantly as you could muster then shrug.

“Well to be more specific then, I’m enjoying spending time with you.” He admitted and you bite your tongue.

“Well in that case, I am too.” You mumble before adding, “a good amount I’d say.”

“That’s good to know.” He murmurs and tries to fight the smile off his face but it was impossible.

You took a long sip of your wine, also trying to hide how you were feeling. It was crazy to feel something with anyone so soon, let alone maybe feeling it with more than one guy.

“Have any thoughts on the recoupling that you’d like to share?” He suddenly asks, making you snort.

“Honestly, no.” You joke making him pout.

“I’m just conflicted.. that’s the main idea so far.” You respond and he hums, “I get it.”

“Here from bombshell to bombshell let me tell you, it’ll be hard but once you have that choice in your heart and you make it, you’ll feel so much better. Just pure relief.” His words not only brought comfort but also helped die down your nerves a tiny bit.

“I sure hope so because this is a big choice to make, and you guys haven’t made it easy!” You exclaim, playfully pointing a finger at him.

“It’s fine. You’ll make a good choice.” He says, giving you a warm smile, and waves you off.

A good choice.

They were all good choices.

What if you chose one of them and a bombshell comes in the next day and they lose interest immediately? Considering they did just that and you were the first girl bombshell says a lot.

Or what if you make a choice that you end up regretting?

There were endless possibilities of what could occur after you choose and the anxiety started coming in.

You subconsciously started going on a little tangent, your nerves getting the better of you, “I’m praying on it because fuck- I’d say I have a good amount of choices but ugh- after that it’s like the waiting game to see if I made the right choice or not and even then-“

“Hey, hey, hey you need to relaxxxxx.” He coos in a soothing voice, reaching over and grabs your hands.

“Have more conversations, see who you connect with the best, and it’ll all turn out fine. You’re going to make a great choice.” He murmurs and rubs his thumb over your skin.

“It’s going to be absolutely fine, okay? You have good judgement and I’m not just saying that because I’d love for you to pick me. Don’t overthink it, I promise it’ll all be okay.” He coos softly, really wanting to help calm you down.

You look down at your intertwined hands and feel your body relax, your legs must’ve been shaking because you could slightly see them trembling.

No wonder he was quick to try to help.

You take a deep breath and nod, letting it out and gently squeezing his hands in appreciation. “Thank you, genuinely. Things got so real with the text and the fact there’s a dumping just-“ you interrupt yourself and sigh, “I don’t know it’s a lot.”

“Trust me I know, but it’ll be absolutely fine. And as for the dumping, it’s a part of the journey unfortunately but it won’t be your fault whatsoever.” He affirms earning himself a small smile from you.

“Thank you, didn’t mean to freak out. God was it really it the fucking wine?” You joke and he laughs.

He lets go of your hands and you stop yourself from frowning, laughing along with him instead.

“Here, to ease your nerves I’ll tell you about when it was my turn, it’s embarrassing but right after I hugged Val, I had to excuse myself because I had to puke- I was more of a mess than Jordan.” He explains making you gasp.

He nods and chuckles, continuing his story, “I had felt it the whole day but just ignored it because I don’t ever throw up but the anxiety had really gotten to me. Jordan did it first and it went so smoothly. I might’ve had to redo my speech because I was a mess.”

“But that same night when we were all in bed, I felt absolutely fine and content with my decision. And that’s exactly how you’ll feel too.” He says and you nod.

“What’d you have to eat that day?” You asked out of curiosity.

“I was too in my head about the recoupling and I didn’t wanna cook, which is a miracle by the way, so I ordered some food.” He answers and you hum, “Funny since it didn’t take long for it to just come out so it wouldn’t have mattered if you did cook...”

“Alright. I see you’re fine now.” He mumbles and playfully rolls his eyes making you laugh.

“Mhm and all thanks to you!” You exclaim, earning yourself a chuckle, “yeah, yeah.”

You’re both quiet and you just do what you did earlier, checking him out because he cleaned up really nicely.

He was wearing a dark gray button up with a black leather jacket and black pants on with some chelsea boots. The shirt had a few buttons at the top undone and he had a gold necklace around his neck. His hair was slicked back and en fin, just looked really good.

Given you were with him when he was shirtless earlier in the day but he looks fine with clothes on too. It's a plus to see his sense of style.

You looked back at his face and he apparently was doing the same thing so you took that time to compliment him, "Oh and you look very handsome, by the way.”

He laughs and shakes his head in disbelief, looking back into your eyes, “thank you gorgeous.”

You hid your real reaction as best as you could, not wanting to embarrass yourself in front of him but lord, was it hard… it came out so smoothly out of his mouth and you wished it was darker out so he couldn't see your face.

“I think gold is your color.” He comments, making you hum, “think so?”

“I know so.” He murmurs and you instantly feel your face grow warm.

And because joking around was easier than flirting, that's what you did.

“Are you hitting on me?” You joke making him burst out laughing.

You bite your lip trying to fight it because it was something so dumb but taking one look at him, you couldn't help but burst out laughing along with him too. You covered your hand over your face and looked away from him while you felt your whole body burn.

He was absolutely dying and couldn't look at you either because the way you said it was just so cute. But once he took a peak for a single second he threw his head back and accidentally fell back on the cushion.

You didn't get to see it but you felt it.

It was like there was another person sitting next to you but once checking it out, it was really just him laying down covering his face in a pillow out of embarrassment. "Oh my god!!" you yell in between your fits of laughter.

He uncovers himself slightly just to blurt out, "Don't look!"

That had you dying even more and he was slowly starting to lose his breath so he calmed down and hides his face again while you attempted to do the same. You took deep breathes and let them out slowly because your heart was fucking racing and your cheeks were starting to hurt.

"Holy fuck-" you mutter under your breath and drink the rest of your wine.

You put your cup on the grass below your feet and that's when you see Miguel coming straight towards you, "You guys alright?"

You just bite your lip and nod while you feel Raúl getting up, you turn to look at him about to snicker when he puts a finger to your lips, "do not. Don't you dare."

All he got in return was a nod and once he pulled his finger away you let out a giggle. He gave you a playful glare then a wide grin and you both turned your attention to Miguel.

“We’re fine.” Raúl says but that grin on his face doesn’t disappear.

“Pete swore it looked like you were having a heart attack.” Miguel jokes making you chuckle.

“Oh yeah, I’m sure he was soooo worried.” Raúl sarcastically scoffs and rolls his eyes.

He knew why he was there.

And all he could think was, fair game.

“Here I’ll leave you guys be.” He says and stands up, you frown for a split second but then nod.

He daps Miguel up, and whispers something in his ear then starts to walk away. Miguel takes a seat next to you and that’s when Raúl turns back around and looks at you, "Oh and I absolutely was, by the way."

You immediately understood what he meant which had you grinning like a Cheshire Cat as you blurted out, “good! As you should.”

He chuckles then grins as well, giving you a final wave before walking away.

You take a deep breath and bring your hand up to your face, feeling how hot your skin was. You turn to face Miguel and he raises an eyebrow at you, “oh just a little joke..”

“Mhm..” he hums and you decide to just start off with some teasing, “what? Don’t tell me you’re jealous.”

“Crazy assumption.” He gasps and shakes his head.

“Yeah okay, that’s totally fine.” You tease making him chuckle.

“What are your thoughts on jealousy?” He asks and you shrug, “as long as it doesn’t cause any fights, a little bit of it isn’t too bad.”

He nods then shrugs, “it’s a good form of teasing.”

“That it is!” You agree and chuckle, “I was actually talking about this with Peter B and Raúl earlier, in here I think it’ll make sense to get jealous quickly since everyone is together all day everyday.”

“Oh absolutely, plus bombshells coming in left and right, in some instances it’s obviously going to stir some stuff.” He adds and you nod, “definitely.”

“So how has your night been?” You ask and he smiles, “it’s been good, got some gossip from a few girls so that was fun.”

“Oh god- what kind of gossip?” You ask, scared it was from anything you’ve said throughout the day.

You knew damn well that everything would be discovered quickly here. People weren’t going to completely keep their mouths shut on things and you couldn’t really blame ‘em.

You just prayed that MJ and Gwen wouldn’t spill too much of what you said. Along with the small things you told Jazmin and Dana.

Hopefully there’ll be a tiny bit of girl code.

“Somewhat juicy. Let’s just say some girls are opening their eyes and putting their feet down.” He explains and you widen your eyes, “damn.”

“Yeah I think tonight’s going to get chaotic especially depending what kind of card game we’re having tonight.” He says with an uncertain look on his face.

“Drama?” You ask and he chuckles, “maybe a tad.”

“How’s your night been?” He asks and you smile, “good! And considering it’s barely starting I’d say it's very entertaining.”

“As it should be! Would be awful if you were bored to death.” He jokes making you chuckle.

“I know! Speaking of, what do you think the game will be?” You ask and he hums.

He thinks about it for a few seconds, takes a sip of his wine then speaks, “I’m not sure, it could really be anything.”

“God I just hope it’s not like dares that make you do nasty shit like suck toes or something.” You say and pretend to gag.

He laughs, shaking his head then smiles, “yeah hopefully not.”

“Although I know Peter B wouldn’t be opposed to that.” He jokes and your eyes go wide.

“Shut up do not tell me he likes that-“

“You learn something new everyday is all I’ll say.” He responds with a laugh.

“Yuck!! Oh lord I hope it’s not anything like that, he can suck all the toes he wants I’ll turn my ass around.” You joke making him snicker.

“Yeah I can’t say that I’m that kinky, I’m not mature enough for that yet.” He jokes making you chuckle, “he’s a year older than you.”

“Oh I know but I swear this man is a different species because toes?” He says with pure disgust.

You both laugh when all of a sudden you hear a shout in front of you. Speaking of the devil.

Peter B was peeking over the daybed and then sat up, “did I just hear my name?!??”

You burst out laughing and Miguel just shakes his head, waving him off while the man kept shouting, “I swear to God, Mig!!!”

“I’ll take my wingman business elsewhere if I must!!” He playfully threatens making you laugh even harder.

“Might just hop on the Raúl train.” He teases and Miguel curses him out, “shut the fuck up Pete!”

Peter grins, looking at you dying of laughter once again and waves to him before giving him a thumbs up. Miguel rolls his eyes and you calm yourself down then turn to look at him, “he is a psychopath.”

“Oh you don’t know the half of it.” He jokes, making you grin.

“Did we ever talk about your type?” You ask and he thinks for a second then shakes his head.

“What are you looking for in a girl?” You ask and he takes a sip of his wine.

He runs a hand through his hand then says, “I’m not too picky, all I really look for is a girl who is ambitious, kind, funny, sweet, and doesn’t have feelings for her ex.”

“Oh you too huh?” You joke and think about your conversation you had with David.

He laughs and nods, “I feel like that should be a universal thing.”

“It should! Get off fucking tinder and go back to the love of your life!!” You exclaim and roll your eyes.

He snorts, making you chuckle then he adds, “I swear dating in New York is like hell on earth.”

“That bad huh?” You ask and he quickly nods, “the people who aren’t over their exes take over all the apps and streets.”

You snicker, and content with your reaction, he continues, “and the people who are over them, said exes mysteriously come back wanting them again and boom they were never truly over them.”

“All I gotta say on that aspect is that exes are exes for a fucking reason and that should be that. End of story.” You stated earning yourself claps from him.

“Absolute bare minimum.” He replies and you nod.

“Do you think it’s a red flag when a man is friends with his ex?” He asks and you immediately nod.

“Only because every experience I’ve had after my last relationship was just men not over their ex girlfriends..” you respond, making him shake his head, “well at least you’re here now.”

“Exactly! But if you’re on here with gorgeous people and still missing your ex… just go back home.” You joke and he laughs.

There was a silence between you two, just staring at each other when he spoke up, “You look stunning tonight.”

“You don’t look too bad yourself.” You murmur and grin.

Yet another silence filled the air but it felt absolutely fine. He wasn’t so subtle with his ogling this time around and admired the way your dress hugged every inch of you to perfection.

It was like how he did it earlier in the morning and it had you just as flustered as it did then.

A gorgeous man checking you out while you’re right in his line of view?

Surprisingly not intimidating but it definitely felt intimate. He was very close to you and you decided to do the same.

He was wearing a black button up that fit him amazingly. His biceps were nearly eating the shirt alive and he had a gold necklace around his neck. You noticed his hands had a couple of rings on them and he played with them once he noticed your staring.

He had a nice watch on and upon further inspection had a nice belt on too, that was without being a perv about it since it was in your eye sight.

You look back into his eyes and feel your cheeks heat up but you maintained eye contact anyway.

“You’re so beautiful. Pretty eyes and a gorgeous smile.” He compliments, making you give him a small smile.

“Thank you Miguel.” You mumble, trying your absolute hardest to ignore how hot your face felt.

“Anytime hermosa.” He coos and you nearly melt. (beautiful)

You let out a nervous laugh, feeling butterflies in your stomach just from hearing him say that word and complimenting you in general. It slipped out way too smoothly.

“You get shy easily?” He asks with a smirk on his face.

Your eyes widened for a second but you quickly shook your head, pretending to act normal. To add the cherry on top you scoff and playfully roll your eyes, “no.”

You sounded so unsure of yourself and if anything it sounded more like a question. He just shrugged and chuckled, “lo que tú digas.” (whatever you say)

He earned himself more eye rolls which only fueled the fire even more. “Creo que estás ciego.” You declared making him snicker, “o si claro.” (I think you’re blind.) (oh yeah sure.)

“No sabía que podías tener un modo bien insoportable.” You tease, making him snicker, “lo quieres averiguar?” (I didn’t know you could have an insufferable side) (do you want to find out?)

“Creo que ya lo estoy haciendo.” You murmur and he bites his tongue. (I think I’m already doing it.)

Seeing him speechless had you claiming victory so you gave him a big, wide grin. He just shook his head in defeat and smiled back at you, “eres más coqueta que me imaginé.” (you’re more flirty than I thought.)

“Es reclamo?” You mumble and he quickly shakes his head, “Por supuesto que no, para nada.” (Is that a complaint?) (of course not, not at all.)

“Que bueno, porque todavía hay mucho que no sabes de mi.” You whisper and it sent shivers down his spine. (That’s good, because there’s still so much that you don’t know about me.)

“O si? Como que?” He asks and you hum, “mi posición favorita.” (Oh yeah? Like what?) (my favorite position)

He bursts out laughing and turns his head to not look at you. You chuckle and move to try to look at his face but he was stubborn to not let you have a peak.

“That was good right?” You ask in a teasing voice, making sure he heard you loud and clear.

He coughs and goes back to his previous position. He faces you and clears his throat, “uh oh, yeah. Yep.”

Panic came in and you quickly wanted to clear it up, feeling bad about it, “I mean it’s true but listen I just thought it’d be funny-“

“No, no it was! I just-“ he stops himself from finishing and you notice that his cheeks were red.

You bite your lip and nod, “not mature for that type of conversation?”

He laughed, noticing how you used his previous words against him and shook his head, “I absolutely am. You just surprised me is all.”

“Hmm okay, fair enough.” You say and he nods, giving you a toothy grin to show it was alright.

He stayed silent, calming himself down from having any thoughts he shouldn’t be having as you admired his face.

His eyebrows were thick but kept nice. He had a pretty nose, pretty eyes, and pretty plump lips. You stared at those for a few seconds wondering what they’d feel like on yours.

Then something popped up in your head and to make him feel comfortable again, you asked, “Oh I have a question, what’s your ideal first date?”

He smiles, appreciating the sentiment and answers, “is it bad that I love a good movie and a nice dinner?”

“Oh absolutely not. Honestly I loveeee those types of dates.” You respond with a wide grin.

“Plus movies are fun! I love a good action or horror flick.” You add, making him nod, “they’re amazing.”

All of a sudden you hear yells from the fire pit then from all over the villa. You see Peter B jump up from the daybed and MJ stands up as well while he waves you guys over.

You jump up from your seat, grabbing your cup from the grass then walk towards them, “is it time?”

“Oh it’s fucking time!!” Peter B yells in excitement and MJ chuckles, “Listen as long as there’s nothing to do with toes, we’re good.”

That makes him whine and Miguel comes up from behind you and laughs, “not all of us are on the same level of freak as you, my man.”

He pats him on the back making Peter B roll his eyes, “it’s not even that bad.”

You all made your way towards the firepit and everyone was slowly making their way there as well.

You only prayed that it wouldn't be so bad because surely your first game would be easy, right?

next part

[leviathanleva]

Sugar Bomb

Pairing: Findlay 'Hazard' Docherty x Fem!Reader

Description: Trying to court Hazard is tough. You nearly give up, thinking your methods have failed. Or have they?

[2.4 k words]

Chapter 5

“Listen, I’m an omnic and even I can smell your perfume.”

You purse your lips at Susie before averting your attention to the lava lamp on your nightstand.

How everyone but Findlay had noticed the changes was beyond you. You’d tried so hard to impress him, your wardrobe was full of cute dresses now, even knitted winter ones you tended to freeze in, but soldiered on just to try and catch his eye. Thigh-high socks had become a regular sight, squishing your thighs just perfectly. You’d even gotten your nails done, a pretty bubblegum pink.

A sweet candy perfume rested next to the lava lamp; one-third of the bottle was already gone because you never missed the chance to renew the aroma on your neck, hoping that the dumb blond would be lured in by the smell of treats. But no, the oblivious bloke instead checked the cookie jar every time you were together in the kitchen because he was too daft to realize the notes of vanilla and cinnamon were coming from you and not some hidden pastry.

“I just missed being girly.” Is the first lie you can think of to tell Susie and sate her hunger for being in on the secret to your sudden and drastic change.

You’d rather move out than tell anyone the pathetic reason why you abandoned sweatpants and leggings for short dresses and tight thigh-highs.

“And that’s why you spent half your savings on a new wardrobe when your clothes are perfectly fine?”

You cross your legs in discomfort and suppress the need to hide under your covers.

“Yes.”

Every morning you took a shower before starting an intensive skincare routine. From ampules to face masks and even a rose quartz face roller. You scrubbed yourself raw, used the best-scented body lotion you could find, and caked yourself with copious amounts of vitamin C and sunblock, made sure that every little imperfection and blemish was covered up, that your cheeks always had a ruddy tint to them, lips always hydrated and as plump as possible. Your skin was glowing, your hair was immaculate, your clothes were ironed to perfection, everything about you was as spectacular as you could make it.

And still, he didn’t notice a fucking thing.

Men…typical.

Each day you tried a new outfit, thinking maybe it’s not a color he likes, the length is wrong, the combination isn’t his style. And each day your hopes were crushed when he didn’t even dare to look in your general direction.

Were you that unfavorable in a dress? What were you doing wrong?

It was exhausting to be denied even a glance when a month ago you were holding each other like lost lovers. Granted he’d almost died and you were on the brink of a complete meltdown because of it, but still.

Now his eyes were everywhere but on you, his good mornings and good nights were rushed and dismissive as if he didn’t even want to speak with you.

It took a toll on your confidence.

“You know I’m gonna get to the bottom of this, right?”

You squint at Susie’s words and force out a nervous laugh before shifting slightly away from her on the bed.

It was girls' night again, it had been a while since you both had enough time and energy to have a proper sleepover. You had been ecstatic and in desperate need of a distraction from your failed attempts at courting Hazard. But of course, the sweet little omnic was perceptive and she knew you too well for all these sudden changes to go unexplained.

So here you were, being interrogated while you did your best to dodge the matter.

She was more headstrong than you though.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” She says delicately as if she was trying not to frighten a jumpy hare.

“I know Suze.” You sigh and look away when your expression changes from content, but slightly nervous, to utterly pained and dejected. “But there’s nothing to talk about. I’m just running an experiment, trying to boost my confidence is all, but so far…” You take a breath and continue. “…So far it’s felt like an utter failure.”

Her hands twitch in her lap before she rests one over your knee, kind and gentle like she always was.

“Is that what this is all about?” The omnic tilts her head slightly and then chirps out a giggle. “You’re not feeling confident?”

There’s genuine sympathy in her tone and you force out an embarrassed smile and brush your fingers you’re your hair awkwardly.

“Yeah…” Is all you manage before taking your pillow to squeeze against your chest and stuffing your face into it. It wasn’t technically a lie, your confidence was suffering, but it was more due to someone rather than diminishing by itself.

When you hear shuffling you look back up and see Susie sliding off the bed and slipping on her coat with determination you’d not seen in her before.

“Where are you going?” You ask, words muffled into the fluff of the pillow.

“I’ll be right back, trust me.” She calls back and closes the door behind her, leaving you alone in the dim atmosphere of your bedroom.

And so you wait, abandoned to solitude with a bowl of popcorn and a list of old corny movies you were planning on watching. Snow fell languidly outside your window, piled up on the sill, a friend to the frosted flowers decorating the glass. The heater blasting in the corner did well to fill the silence with a soft white noise, but it wasn’t enough to quell your self-doubt. You’re left to your thoughts which have been very unkind lately, it’s not a good place to be in. Your mind berates you incessantly and all you can do is squeeze yourself into a tighter ball of shame and just take it.

Not good enough. – It wasn’t a term you liked to use, you knew how detrimental to one’s mental health it was and in the past you’d managed to stray from it, well, mostly. But lately, it had kept nagging at the back of your head until you couldn’t ignore it anymore. Self-hate had slithered into your bloodstream and now there was no getting rid of it when all of your self-worth was unknowably put on the shoulders of a man who didn’t even want to acknowledge you.

You pat the pillow in your lap gently before puffing out a breath.

“Fuck this.”

You’re wiping the cat eyeliner off your lids and smearing the lipgloss into the back of your palm to get it off your mouth before you can process what’s happening. Once that’s done, you take the perfume bottle and stuff it in your drawer where you hope to forget it ever existed.

If he didn’t like you, that was that, no amount of makeup or pretty clothes were going to change his opinion. You’d just hoped that maybe…

“No.”

You shake your head, shake all the stupid thoughts away before standing to change out of the white knitted dress you were suffering in. A pair of khaki shorts and a large hoodie, a mouthful of popcorn, and a stupid romcom with Susie were all you needed to be happy.

There’s a ruckus outside your door, hissy voices that are scream-whispering at each other but the words are too rushed and belligerent for you to comprehend. You go still and strain your ears, leaning slightly towards the entrance of your room while trying to listen, but nothing comes of it, the voices are too distorted.

When the door opens you jump instinctively and grip onto your hoodie to steady your racing heartbeat.

There stands Susie, gripping Hazard’s arm and keeping him from bolting down the hallway and away from you like he was avoiding the plague. If it didn’t literally rip your heart apart, you’d find it funny. It was like making him eat steamed broccoli all over again.

“Great! Now we’re all here.” The sweet omnic starts and nudges Findlay in the ribs hard. “Now say what you think, Haz.”

“Wut? O,…right. I uh… I don’t – ” The poor Scotsman was stumbling over his words more than you were over your thoughts. He looked about ready to crawl out of his skin, it was torture to see him in such a state and despite Susie’s good intentions, you’d rather just set him free from your unwanted presence.

“Suze, really. It’s okay, he looks so uncomfortable.” You blabber out with a strained laugh and raise your hands up to motion for her to let him go despite the tears prickling the back of your eyes.

“No, no. He’s been dancing around this since you changed your style.” She interrupted and pulled Hazard inside the room before shutting the door to keep him from escaping. “Go on, Haz.”

It was a comical sight, the man barely fit in your small cozy dwelling. This was the first time he had ever entered your room and if the circumstances were any different, you’d be a nervous wreck, but right now, you just wanted this whole charade to be over.

“Susie, please…Just leave him be.” You plead, unaware of the small crystal clear droplets that are starting to weigh down on your lower lashes.

He’s tapping his foot in agitation and readjusting his tee every few seconds. His eyes skim over your bedroom – your lamp, the old TV screen, the popcorn bowl, your bed, everything and anything that isn’t you. You want to scream in his face:

“What the fuck did I do to you?! Why are you acting like this?!”

But you couldn’t, it wasn’t like you, confrontation was scary, confrontation with Findlay was even scarier.

“No. I’m done with you two playing the long game. Just say what you want to say and stop suffering – ”

“ – Susie!” You don’t realize you’ve yelled until it’s already echoing around, you don’t realize your voice broke halfway into pronouncing her name either. You swallow awkwardly, partly curl in on yourself, and speak in a rasp “Just let him go. He doesn’t want to be here.”

You’re sniffling softly, barely suppressing sobs and hugging yourself. It’s pitiful, you hate yourself for it, you wish you weren’t such a crybaby.

“Ey…No..No, no, no.” You hear him say, look up and meet his eyes for the first time in weeks. He approaches you hastily, ripping out of Susie’s grip to bend over you and tenderly wipe your cheeks dry. “None o’ this shite.” He gives the omnic a side glance. “Give us a moment, ye?”

When you hear the door shut behind her your lips part to form blubbery, wet words soaked with days of silent suffering.

“Why don’t you look at me anymore, Haz?” You wrap your fingers around his large wrist, craving his touch desperately after so long. “Did I do something? I don’t get it…You don’t even come close to me – ” A sob, a hiccup, a shiver wracking your body, cutting your mumbling off short. “ – anymore.”

“I’s Findlay. Fin for you. Kay, bonnie?” He speaks evenly, wraps one arm around your waist and gently tugs you into his wide chest. You practically disappear in his embrace, surrounded by warm, heavy muscle and it feels so right to stand like this. You relax, wipe your nose into the sleeve of your hoodie, mewling softly as he coos down at you. “Mah wee hen. Pretty li’le birdie. ‘M sorry…”

You cling to him, standing on the tips of your toes just to be able to rest your damp cheek against his prosthetic shoulder and still barely reaching. Your fingers trace the synthetic cords on his nape and you hear him gurgle out a curse before taking in a deep breath and choking audibly.

Then it dawns on you that your attempt at luring him to you might have backfired. You pull away slightly and cup his chin with unfathomable tenderness. He leans into your caress and closes his eyes to concentrate on stifling the hunger sparking to life inside his abdomen.

“Is it the perfume? I’ll stop wearing it, I thought you’d like it…I didn’t think you might actually be allergic – ”

“ – I’s not tha’, hen.” He struggles for words, a man barely restrained by his care for you and your dignity, because you simply deserved better than him. “Ah like it. Ah do…A bit too much.”

It takes you a moment to process what he means, but once you do, your whole body feels like it’s been lit ablaze. Your heart pounds in your chest, ready to leap through your ribs at any second. You dig your nails in his skin to try and keep from collapsing right there on the spot and earn a strained rumble from him as a reward.

“Prancin’ about in those pre’y li’le dresses. Could smell ya ‘round every corner.” He glowers, driven to the brink of insanity by your existence in his life. He kneads your sides eagerly, craving the flesh hidden beneath the thick fabric of your hoodie. He’s desperate, restrain runs thin and he’s had enough torture to be able to resist again now that you were in his hands, yielding and soft. “Wasn’t enough ta test me with them pre’y clothes. Had to use tha’ stench too. Lure me out like a wolf starved.”

“Fin…” You mewl out weakly, grateful for his solid hold on you because you were nearly ready to faint.

“I like ta think is all fur me, ya know?” He murmurs, it’s barely audible and you want to shout in his ear that it is, but it feels like there’s water in your lungs, you’re drowning in his presence, immobilized and pliant.

“Findlay…”

You manage to sneak a glance. His eyes are glowing in the dimness of your room, a threatening shadow cast over them and making them stand out. He looks like an apex predator about to feast, having finally caught his meal. And you’re right there, the willing sacrifice, ready to be swallowed whole if only to stay with him forever. You’re ready for anything as long as he’s there with you.

“Wonna eat ya up.” His nose is pressed into your neck, inhaling deeply, then you feel a wetness being dragged across your skin and a shiver wracks you entirely. “Cannae take it anymore…”

“Please, please, please…”

This is all you’ve ever wanted.

“You two alright in there?” Susie, bless her, the ever-caring friend that she was, but you really wished she wasn’t waiting for you to wrap it up on the other side of your door. He pulls away silently, regrettably, and spares you a last wanton glance before heading for the door and leaving you there thrumming and beyond overjoyed.

<<< Chapter 4

Chapter 6 >>>

Masterlist

[kulemiwrites]

hi!! Do u think u could do (in depth) HCs for their favorite positions? I may or may not be in heat rn…

Thank you for coming back to clarify who you meant by ‘they’. It makes things so much easier for me. I’m sure your heat has died down by now considering how long it took me to answer this request, but hey! Lol.

Please bear in mind that all body text links WILL direct you to a site that provides visual references (read: porn) for each position and while I wrote this in an attempt to keep it as gender neutral as a possible, the references are always M/F. 

MASATO AIZAWA

As a well endowed guy, his biggest concern is always his partner’s comfort– first and foremost. He prefers to let them decide the position, or at the very least, dictate the pace. He listens and adapts accordingly. But… Prone positions will forever be the death of him. Logic abandons him and he (and his strokes) are guided by raw instinct. If ever he chooses to fuck his partner in a prone position, they should know that it will be the last positional shift of the session because he will be moaning and groaning and pounding into them until he’s ready to come– which may not take very long. If he gets to cum inside when he’s got them like this, they’re going to hear the phrase, ‘I love you’ so many times it will cease to sound like actual words.

AKIRA NISHIKIYAMA (0)

When it comes to penetrative sex, he’s pretty adaptable and is happy and willing to do whatever it is that his partner likes. However, if he was forced to decide, he would probably opt for anything that puts his partner on top! He likes being able to relinquish all control to them and let them use him to their heart's content. Plus, there’s the added benefit of getting to watch their hole greedily swallow his dick over and over and over again until he gets bored of it (which he won’t) and then he can shift his attention to their body or the faces they make. When they tire themselves out, he lures them forward, then wraps his arms around them and picks up where they left off. But… Of course, this is King Munch Akira Nishikiyama that we’re talking about and it’s going to be hell getting him to forgo at least a few minutes of tasting his partner. Truthfully speaking, he could cum untouched. Standing, sitting, kneeling– doesn’t matter to him! As long as he gets to demonstrate his talent, he’s a happy camper.

AKIRA NISHIKIYAMA (K)

If he were to rattle off his favorite positions, almost all of them offer some form of g-spot stimulation because likes to make gooood use of that curve and of those, most of them require taking his s/o from behind. The position he ultimately chooses is heavily dependent on the mood he’s in at the time. The flatiron position is good for when he wants to be as close to them as he can get– kissing their lips, kissing their back, talking dirty, he gets it all! He could use the flatiron position when he’s in one of his moods and wanting to be a little rougher, but why should he when he could shove their head into the sheets and fuck them with their ass up? It’s perfect for hair pulling, perfect for ass smacking. Really, what’s not to love?

KAZUMA KIRYU

He’s a fan of tried and true classics with an extra umph! So, yes, missionary BUT have you ever heard of the CAT method? When he gets to be intimate with a partner, he likes to slow things down and permit himself (and his partner) to just enjoy the feel of one another. CAT helps him get in niiiice and deep while also stimulating them, using a steady rhythm. It’s sexy! It’s intimate! It can be perfect for placing his lips riiight against their ear to whisper the dirty things that only his horniest state of mind can conjure up and it prevents the embarrassment of having to say it while maintaining eye contact! So many wins!

GORO MAJIMA

Truthfully, he’s not very picky. He goes with the flow and doesn’t care about sticking to any one position more than others. However, would he really be The Mad Dog if he didn’t enjoy a little doggy? With his partner laying on their belly, one leg hiked over just so and him straddling their straight leg as he fucks them from behind, saying he enjoys Lazy Dog would be the understatement of the century. He likes what the position provides him visually. After all, having half the perception ability has made him very, very greedy.

TAIGA SAEJIMA

When it’s up to him, he’s almost always going to go for a position that allows him easy access to his partner's legs. Be it a simple legs up variation of missionary or the eagle position. As far as he’s concerned, there’s not much in the world that gets better than having a sexy pair of legs dangling over his shoulders while getting to take in the even sexier faces his partner is making as he splits them time and time again. With positions like this, he’s able to drive in deep while holding their gaze as he kisses and licks their calves. He… may be a little more likely to make out with their legs than their lips when he’s got them like this, but cut the man some slack. He’s in heaven!

Good Lord, I need an ice bath!

[corvusblackk]

nea’s method. how i shift.

hello. i’ll be doing something different tonight, something that made me shift in the past. this worked for me so it might not work for you, but you already know this.

i decided on another reality to shift to only for this night because i’ve seen that getting too attached to a dr is only gonna take me back sometimes and make it forced. in the past i shifted to spiderman, fantasy dr and hotel transylvania with this method, so why not try it again?

basically, i just choose a reality to shift to, one that i’m not too attached to but still am interested to visit, could be even one that you’re “creating” at the moment. i don’t care if i have a script or not, actually for this new dr i haven’t made a script (just wanna go raw lol).

what i do afterwards is do my usual routine that doesn’t necessarily be about shifting, so i could just shower, eat well, and do breathing exercises. then, before going to sleep, i put on an asmr or ambience that reminds me of the reality i’m shifting to. and finally i would just fall asleep to that, so that it’s the last thing my mind thought about before sleeping, something similar to SATs, but not quite.

you can also visualise and do affirmations, but i shifted doing nothing and just watching the video, so i really just have to fall asleep to it as i used this only as a sleep method, idk if it would work as an awake method too (i mean of course it could work, it all depends on your assumptions).

-

about my new desired reality, if you’re ever curious, i got the inspiration from an asmr that i’m watching lately. it was very interesting to me because i usually only like older ambiences and realities, or even just present, but future? what even is that. so i was like, you know what, imma try it. i am a limitless being who can shift anywhere so why not try everything? so that’s what i’m doing tonight. no script, no idea where i’m going exactly, but i’m excited that’s what i can say for sure.

[necromosss]

Saying this in best way possible.

I envy on how you can convey everything wonderfully with only sketches yet it feels like a finished piece. I envy you not because I think my art is bad but more because of my perfectionist mind forced me to fleshed everything out before it deemed "post worthy" one day I want to improve and be more confident with my sketch just like you so I won't physically strain myself by making everything I made as polished as possible.

This might come as me also venting, (but!) this ask made me.... think.

Believe it or not, anon, what you envied of me is actually one of the biggest insecurities i have as an artist. I really think I should have put more effort to finish my works, but it just feel off whenever I did :")

Anyways!

It's totally alright to take time for your art! But if you do want to try to be confident with your sketch more, I'd suggest......to think that nobody cares.

This.... might be a bad advice and a bad way to see your own artworks, but these are what I kept telling myself:

Nobody would care if I had/hadn't finish or perfect this. Nobody will point it out anyway. No one ever did.

To me this looks clear enough. Readable enough. If my dumbass brain can understand it, so can everyone else.

Does this sketch sets the mood/feeling/intensity enough? If it doesnt then its time to rely on splashing some colors

If they like this messy excuse of an art then good for them and if not? Well at least my thoughts are already put OUT there and not kept locked inside. Like breathing a fresh air.

And thats that. I hope you can feel more comfortable with your sketches soon🫶 OH and thank you, anon🥹💖

Sad thoughts/vent part below cut. Not necessarily connected to answer anon!! (just me pouring my own feelings/thoughts out!)

I... really enjoy just putting out my thoughts emotions and ideas via my sketches but at the same time, it kept made me question myself if I—as an artist—was ever worth all this attention when I couldn't even deliver something "finished." Hells, even when I did a finished, rendered art, it never made an impression as close to equal sd my "stupid doodles" does.

I feel like i perform and deliver better using rough sketches because I love to emphasize the rawness of gestures and emotions that raw sketches provide. But nobody around me thinks so. Because it's like im not done yet.

I didn't know my place. Nobody around me (in my local indo artist communities) preferred my works because there's always someone out there with a more polished & pretty art. Mine is... just never seem to look finished. I always look like i... underperformed.

So what Im trying to say is. Maybe we have our own strengths and weaknesses. Whats important is that we find out own comfortable paces and methods. And that is still a long heck of an artist journey that i myself still need to discover.

[princelysnape]

Sevy headcanons?

my severus snape headcanons

you're in for a loooong ride, anon🙂‍↔️

extremely black eyes. i don't know if you know this, but true black eyes don't actually exist. or rather, they do, but it's usually linked to some eye condition. i don't care though, severus totally has black eyes—you literally can't tell his pupils and iris apart. it's rather unsettling at first. it makes his eyes look huge, still and glassy, like a doll's

naturally left-handed, but forced himself to learn how to use his right hand at fourteen. for multiple reasons: 1) because making potions was faster using both hands, 2) when the marauders attacked him, they usually tried incapacitating his wand hand first so being able to switch was a matter of survival, 3) there's a weird superstition in the wizarding world about left-handed people being cursed and extremely unlucky in life (it's fading away with time, but older generations would still side eye him) and 4) during formal duels, both opponents have to use their right hand as per the rules

his favorite subjects as a hogwarts' student were defense against the dark arts, potions (obviously), and funnily enough, history of magic. yes, in this exact order. but prince, what do you mean potions isn't first place??? easy, he loved potions, but he fucking hated slughorn's teaching methods and general presence. also, because they knew severus affinity for the subject, the marauders would constantly try to sabotage him

he also hated binns' class, he couldn't focus for shit. so guess what? he forced himself to learn more about it. he couldn't afford to fail at any of his classes, so he would spend hours in the library reading books about the damn goblin wars. turns out it's actually very interesting and binns is just a terrible teacher

that's how he discovered his taste for non-fictional books btw. those extra reading materials after class? the ones no one ever bothers to read? his favorites, he loves it

this may come off as a surprise, but he's actually not a very fast learner. it takes a while before a new information takes root in his brain. he's persistent though. yeah, maybe he didn't get it at first, but you can bet your ass he's going to keep trying until he masters it

which is why he's a very accomplished wizard despite being rather average magically speaking. while he doesn't have magical rawness on his side, he's precise, strategic and smart

he's a midnight owl. not for the reasons you may think though. like, yeah, he has nightmares and they can be very vivid sometimes, but mostly he just works better during the night. and it's just nice being awake while everyone's sleeping, you know—it's peaceful and quiet. also, when his dad came home drunk, he would forget to lock the doors or would leave the stove on, so severus forced himself to stay awake to make sure everything was alright before actually going to sleep

he's always using multiple layers of clothing. like, we're talking at least three layers at all times. sev runs cold, and the climate inside hogwarts (especially in the dungeons), doesn't help his situation. mostly though, it's a control thing. he doesn't need to wear so many clothes, he could merely cast a warming charm on himself, but the weight and constriction of them makes him feel grounded and in control. in control of himself, his emotions, his surroundings and his body. he finds a sort of delight in putting everything on, one by one, in the mornings. it's like an armor

there weren't a lot of things to do in cokeworth during the summer (and much like harry, he also couldn't touch anything magical while at home), so he had to learn to enjoy his own company if he didn't want to go literally insane. like yeah, sometimes he would go out to meet lily and they would get up to dumb shit here and there, but still. he couldn't be out after dark because of her curfew and severus already had finished anything readable in his house by the time he was twelve. but there was one thing he had that couldn't he taken away: his mind. he can stay inside his own head for hours making up stories and scenarios

which is why he's extremely creative and imaginative. when you're already used to thinking outside of the box, inventing stuff like new spells or potions can be somewhat easy. not that it didn't take effort and research on his part—it did. but who else would think about making a spell to make toenails grow abnormally fast?

he did have a crush on lily when they were young. the kind that forms when you know someone so deeply, you just can't help falling for them too, you know? and severus is so emotionally starved, of course he would. but it's also complicated. i mean, his crush on her lasted until they were around thirteen, i would say. after that, things started getting blurry for him because he did fall for other people too or had other crushes and lily was just the most "safe" one. the most familiar, if that makes sense. snape's worst memory changed everything though. and then once again when she died. these days everything he feels for her is negative and the only good things come from memories long past—nostalgia. she had a crush on him too, but during a very difficult time of their friendship (fourth and fifth year). by then, he was mostly over her

his doe patronus is a representation of himself, not lily (though he uses memories of her to fuel the spell). it's who he is, his truest version: bony, skittish, soft, meek and sacrificial. no, i don't care what anyone else says. the doe patronus is originally his because i said so and there's that

he has a weird relationship with food. i mean, i wouldn't say he starves himself per se—hogwarts has a three meal course everyday, all he has to do is eat and severus is a man of habit. also, he hates wasting food. if there's food, he'll eat it until he finishes everything. but if there isn't, if he has to go to the supermarket, cook for himself and actually feed himself, he'll just dismiss it as unimportant and will keep dismissing it until he's starving. yes, he's used to hogwarts' routine, but he's also used to going hungry. this isn't something you can just unlearn even after years of knowing you have enough to eat

everything involving self-care is dismissed when he is out of hogwarts tbh. sleeping, showering, eating... it's all waved away as a nonemergency in his head. instead, he focuses on cleaning and organizing his house, catching up on his list of books to read, trying new ideas for potions etc. and then the next thing he knows he hasn't properly slept in three days, two days since he last showered and he only ate a small piece of bread in the morning. working at hogwarts is simultaneously bad for his mental health, but good for self-care. it wouldn't do for his students to tease him after all

after swm, a few people propositioned him on the low. he thought they were mocking him so he rejected them all rather rudely and then proceeded to cry about it for weeks. but to be fair, he wouldn't have said yes even if he believed it was genuine. the event's memory was still too fresh

he cries rather easily, he's very sensitive. some people headcanon he grew out of it, but i don't think so. he cries a lot, he just hides it better these days

i hope this satisfied you, anon🫡