#and like granted this is also maybe not ideal but it works for them!
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yu-ziyuan · 3 months ago
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chengxian getting back together au where yanli makes them attend the incredibly specific event that im at rn bc the tickets were expensive and they bought them pre-breakup and one of them (probs wei wuxian) goes up onstage and gives this whole speech and asks jiang cheng to take him back and its cutesy & fun & sillay
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queenerdloser · 2 months ago
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in a fit of job-related frustration i briefly went job hunting and while the prospects were bleak enough that i abandoned the exercise pretty quickly, i actually found two library jobs that were so suspiciously perfect for what i want in a job i was kind of like ??? what the fuck. i yearned for a library job back when i was first seriously job hunting in the us in 2020 but i couldnt find anything full time or with decent enough pay. and now TWO (2) jobs that a) are higher level but DON'T require a master's degree, which is shocking enough in itself b) both exceed my current pay rate (????) and c) actually are in my wheelhouse and are jobs i could do well, show up on my radar in the exact week i'm looking at jobs? suspicious!
i applied to both of them mostly just for kicks. i kind of forgot about it last week due to my grad school haze but i just remembered to double check the apps and for the one that closed to applications last weekend i've been moved up to reviewing training/experience... which seems like a good sign???? genuinely don't know what i'd do if i actually get asked to interview but that'd be so funny omfg
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cakemoney · 9 months ago
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i don't want to put my uninformed foot in my mouth or get involved with the Discourse but i've been seeing the two extremes of reactions to the korean low birth rates issue (on tumblr and twitter both) and i'm just kind of like. look. i feel like "low birth rates (in many countries but especially japan and korea as part of this conversation) are more broadly the result of capitalism/a culture of overwhelming overwork that makes social relationships and having families incredibly inaccessible to young people" and "low birth rates are very much a part of the current conversation about misogyny and social expectations for women in korea especially in the context of reproduction as 'unpaid labor' for women" are statements that can both be true
#laughs awkwardly#gender#especially considering the ways patriarchal expectations and capitalism very much intersect in terms of quality of life for women#ex. women being expected to have kids / raise kids / do all the housework and cooking in a relationship#while ALSO existing in a society where women (even married women) have to work demanding jobs to deal with the high cost of living#AND women are systemically discriminated against in terms of pay / job availability / work environment and harassment#all of these things add up. these conversations are not opposing points of view. you know?#and also like. not super comfortable with how TERFs are discussed in terms of non-white cultures#TERFism / radfems as a MOVEMENT (and a cult) is very much rooted in white supremacy / ideals of womanhood#again. multiple things can be true at the same time. yes i do see (from my perspective involved in taiwanese social media)#some east asian feminists engage in transphobia in ways that approach radfem rhetoric ('women are victims of men' 'men are predators'#type generalized sentiments which you can imagine gains a lot of traction among women traumatized by patriarchy)#but movement-wise i don't think it's fair (or just in good faith) to generalize radical feminists from non-white countries#to straight up TERFs. which again. rooted in white supremacy. keep feeling like i have to remind people it doesn't make sense#for asians to be white supremacists and that not all oppression on earth stems directly from white people. you weirdos#'what are you talking about' in east asia the type of feminist statements called 'radical' are stuff like.#women shouldn't have to wear make up every time they go outside. women shouldn't be expected to do all housework.#should men pay for women on dates. debates that i think in the states we kind of take for granted as stuff settled years ago#even if some feminists might be transphobic it's not necessarily Transphobia As Core Tenets Of The Movement. does anyone get the difference#basically what i'm saying is. wow these tags got long. maybe let's not apply uniform standards of 'correct language and values'#to non-white people and attack them when as all movements they are fluid and influenced by the people living in it#TERF-style transphobia is not the predestined course for them. maybe it's more productive to have open discussions about transphobia#to work towards inclusivity and solidarity in these movements than to prescribe White Internet Morality to them#and declare that they're evil when they are still very much having conversations that need to be had. thanks i think that's all#essentially. i find that 'how dare a non-american movement not have morally pristine vocabulary priorities and membership#as determined by white leftists' to be in itself kinda a racist attitude
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I finally saw the mean girls musical (the movie one) I have so many fucking thoughts oh my god
#thoughts#oni talks#mean girls 2024#I think I may be the only person to kind of like it? like don’t get me wrong it is kinda ROUGH but it has so much potential and there’s bits#and pieces that I actually really enjoy or wish they had more of or just aahh#I’ve been nonstop thinking about the ideal version in my head like there’s so much potential obviously I’m biased by like a lot#since for one I know I tend to like stuff other people hate or don’t like but for two this sequel was weirdly way more relatable so maybe#I’m just projecting from my own personal experiences but Idc the POTENTIAL THERES SO MUCH ID WANNA DO INSTEAD#like there’s so many little details and characterizations that I wish was expanded on or fleshed out and it’s just like it feels like either#half baked or that it’s gone through too many edits it’s like it’s scared to exist?? like there’s some differences I love and wish they lol#leaned into but it’s like it was terrified to be too different? or like they were rushing the end especially#like in my ideal form it’s a tv show coz I think they honestly have enough that could be genuinely expanded in a way more interesting way#via that format probably not like a super extended series like you COULD but you’d definitely need more expansion but I could see the potent#but like idk one SOLID musical season with expanded character story and not like one of those rush cram shows like a good solid one#like Regina’s characterization is so fascinating but also feels like slightly off and like they could’ve leaned way more into things?#like I think keeping Regina as a closeted lesbian gives the greatest potential and interest for an expanded story#like I loved maybe the first half of the movie the most like that one song she sang to manipulate Aaron would work so much more perfectly if#she’s singing it about/to Cady? I also think in my ideal brain an cool flashback episode for Janis and Regina would be so cool coz there’s#so much you could flesh out in a flashback than you could in a retelling which while I do like the retelling since it lets you imagine thing#I just! potential! I also want more of them interacting and I do think changing Janis to be a lesbian works if they leaned more into it?#I also think in my ideal form janis would have more comeuppance or acknowledgement of her shit? I also think an arc of Regina coming out#like one thing they missed from the original is Regina playing soccer at the end & I think they could hint more towards that and maybe lean#more into her at home life in an expanded story way coz her mom is clearly like… yikes. granted maybe some of my views on the movie are too#biased by personal experience but like the way she snaps at her mom usually in my experience isn’t out of nowhere? like parents behind#closed doors. or frustrations with what her mom has clearly been putting on her the way she tells her mom not to talk about her body is very#like idk a lot of the characters in this version feel more real to me bc they act really similar to people I know irl so the expanded story#could be cool. another one that in my ideal brain would have more is Gretchen and especially her relationships with Regina as well as with#that one guy and her parents I wanna see more of how that works and her arc to feel more meaningful when she dumps him & mentions family#also as much as I didn’t care much for the straight plot stuff there’s 100% missed potential there that I could see in the differences like#iirc in the original it’s regular algebra not AP calc which I think could’ve been used as an interesting characterization opportunity for
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carlsangel · 7 months ago
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MY PARENTS’ RINGS
carl grimes x fem!reader
(you and carl have been “married” since childhood.)
tags: flufffff, slight angst, mentions of death.
masterlist here!
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You’ve known Carl since you were born. Your moms were bestfriends from high school who’d miraculously gotten pregnant around the same time which, naturally, made you best friends as well. You can’t remember your guys’ first play date, you’d been having sleepovers with him every weekend as well.
Around kindergarten, there was an activity in class where you guys could make jewelry. Carl at the time was completely in love with you, although then you weren’t particularly interested in boys and were more interested in exploring and adventures, you needed someone to go on adventures with.
So, when he’d walked up to you on the playground with the ring he made very poorly, your five year old brain knew exactly where it was going. He proposed to you right there in the pokey wood chips under the slide which by the way was covered in cobwebs. How romantic. You thought that if he’d gone on many adventures with you previously, if he was your husband he’d be forced to be your adventure partner. So you said yes. On the condition he’d be by your side for all your escapades. “Anything for you angel.” He responded.
He held you to it, too. He’d continue to call you his wife and angel, a nickname that’d stick for the rest of your childhood. Everyone knew how much he’d loved you and how much he protected you from anything that could possibly harm you in any way. There was a spider in your room? He’d kill it. Someone was bothering you? He’d help you work it out. You got in an argument with your parents? He was close enough with them to argue with them for you. You ended up helping him through the death of his own father who was also someone you’d looked up to for a long time.
Then, the apocalypse started. You were at Carl’s house with Lori when Shane had arrived to round everyone up. They’d return back to your house to rally up your parents but when Shane went inside to get them, you heard his gun go off a couple times.
He walked out that house alone with a big frown on his face.
So you sobbed the whole time and Carl cuddled your side, holding your hand and occasionally shed some tears. He helped you process it, granted you both were ten but he knew what it was like to lose a parent. When Rick came back, he apologized oddly enough. “Angel…I’m sorry my dad came back.” He told you as you hid in the blanket on your cot that was set up in the Grimes’ tent. You flipped over on your side to look at him. “Why did yours get to come back and not mine?”
Your guys’ “marriage” hit a rough patch to say the least. At some point, Carl walked up to Rick with the dilemma. “My wife is mad at me…how do you make mom feel better?” He asked. Rick informed Lori on the situation and she helped you understand. So from there you dropped your little grudge and realized that you loved Carl back. It only took you maybe five years and yeah you were quite young to know you loved him the way you did, but he was the only person in your life who’d stay consistent; even with the world dying.
A good amount of time had passed, when Shane died the first thing you wanted to do was take anything he possibly had on him. So, you took his 22 necklace and his jacket. Handling his dead body that young wasn’t ideal but you needed to remember him. You shoved his necklace in your pockets and threw his jacket on before escaping from the walkers flooding into the farm.
Upon finding safety, you pull out Shane’s necklace to discover he’d kept your parents rings on his necklace. You didn’t say anything about it, you hid them for the right time. He’d notice them later but he kept quiet about it.
You’d gone through the prison, then Terminus. It felt like Carl had never stopped touching you throughout everything. He was holding your hand or maybe even had his hand gripping your thigh. He’d reassure you by holding you or kissing your cheek repeatedly. He made sure you were well fed while you and the group were on the road after losing Beth. “Here, Angel, take this.” He handed you half of his granola bar.
“Angel, need some water to wash that down?” Abraham nudged a water bottle your way, Carl looked at him funny which caught a couple people’s attentions. Abraham looked around. “What?” He questioned. No one really responded but Tara spoke up, clearing her throat awkwardly before speaking. “I’ve uh…I’ve learnt that ‘Angel’ is just a Carl thing.” She explains. Abraham processes and Rick sort of laughs. “Yeah I’ve known her since she’s was born…he won’t even let me call her that either.” He looks to Carl with a teasing smile, prompting the others to sort of smirk and giggle themselves. “Well my apologies.”
Carl gives Abraham a forgiving nod.
Getting to Alexandria was like a breath of fresh air. You and Carl were able to be somewhat of a normal teenage couple who could go on dates and make out in places they shouldn’t. He helped ease your nerves with the new environment, despite his own considering he didn’t know how real Alexandria really was.
He’d fallen more and more in love with you. At some point he’d brought up your kindergarten marriage.
“Do you remember when you said yes when I proposed to you in kindergarten?” He smiled at you as you leaned your head on his shoulder. The two of you were stargazing on a bench by Alexandria’s pond. “Yeah you’ve never let me forget it.” You respond with a small giggle. He pulled back to look at you. “Well I was thinking…with the way the world is and everything.” He chuckles nervously, looking down at your hands which were tightly gripping each other’s, “Maybe we can really be married.”
He stared at you, anticipating your answer. “Well, I dunno what you mean, we’ve been married this whole time.” You say sort of jokingly, causing him to smile, “I think you just mean official rings. I mean we’ve held the label this whole time. Not to mention you’ve stuck to your vows.” You remind him of how he’d promised to stick with you throughout everything. He nods for a moment, his eyes lingering on your face as he admires how beautiful you are in the light of the pretty moon. “Official rings would be nice.”
Without another word, you pulled your hand away, causing Carl’s expression to drop a tad as you dig into your pocket. Your hand comes back out of your jeans in a fist and you stick your hand out, gesturing for him to put his own out. He places his hand out flat and you drop two rings, the metals knocking into each other with a small clink as he looks into your eyes. “Wait really? Aren’t these…” His voice trails off and he looks at you intently.
“My parents’ rings.”
There’s a moment of silence before you take your dad’s ring from his palm and take his left hand, slipping it gently onto his ring finger. It fit perfectly, almost like it was fitted to him. He looks at it for what felt like ages before taking your mother’s ring in his hand. He gently held your left hand, sliding it on to your ring finger. The two of you put your hands between your bodies and just stare.
He tilts his head back up to look at you and before you could fully look at him he kissed you, gently holding the side of your face while he did so.
It was one of the thousands of kisses he’d given you, but this one was different.
Maybe you could go on honeymoon.
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a/n: so anon actually wanted this full of fluff but i couldn’t help myself with some parts of angst LMAOOO sorry anon i hope u still like it. i actually think this is the cutest fucking thing i’ve written in a long ass time I LOVEEE IT SM!!! also for those who’ve been waiting for let me make it up to you part two THAT SHITS BEEN OUT idk not as many ppl saw it and there’s sm smut in that shit >_< anyway thank u sm for this cute ass request it was so fun to write and it got me out of my writing funk :)))
tag list: @zomb-1-egutzz @lunarnightt @ilikestrawberriesandwomen @hiro--aoki @h00d-tr4sh
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celiime · 4 months ago
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୨ৎ — .ᐟ Him ‘n his stupid infinity! [Pt.3]
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—> Part 3 belonging to the series of him ‘n his stupid infinity. Refer to part 1 and part 2 for earlier parts!
╰┈➤ Gojo Satoru is once more struck with the less than ideal dilemma of his cute underclassman hating him! It seems like no matter what he does, he always remains the object of your hatred—and he doesn’t even know why! Will today be the day where he finally has a chance to reduce your hatred? And maybe find out why you hate him?
Or in which, You hate Gojo Satoru! Him and his stupid limitless technique. Why does he only turn it on around you? A mere first year. Will today be the day you get some closure? Just why is his infinity activated at the mere sight of you?
warnings: fluff, literally one line of angst, reader is in denial and gojo is head over heels, they both r very loud students, takes place in 2006, reader is so cute…even gojo thinks so!! reader is a first year, gojo is a second year. ^.^
p.s—> i really enjoyed writing this! gojo n reader r my roman empire, i need them to get together soon ☹️ also— does anybody notice how gojo’s thoughts contain less exclamation marks when he’s not arnd reader? hehe—she just brings out the whiny man in him.
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“I hate the rain! I hate umbrellas! Ughhh—“ A sniffle resounded from the classroom of the third years’ classroom, “Everything is working against me! Even her!”
“It’s peaceful.” His best friend, Geto, retaliated, throwing him a questioning look over his shoulder, “Since when do you not like the rain?”
His gaze traveled over to the six full plastic bags on Gojo’s desk, seemingly filled with all kinds of candies and snacks, did his best friend buy the whole convenience store or something?
“And do these…copious amounts of snacks have anything to do with it?” He thinks he could make quite a lucky guess.
For as long as Geto Suguru has known Gojo Satoru, it was always a silent fact acknowledged between them that Gojo has always been a fan of the rain—mainly due to the fact that he can activate his infinity at will whenever the rain pelts on him too hard.
But, who else does his infinity activate at will at?
“She hates me, Suguru.” A whine left Gojo’s mouth as he squished his cheek against the cool surface of the desk, eyes tracing the trail of the rain as it stained the windows. “Even when I’m being chivalrous! She denies all of my help!”
Geto can’t help himself from rolling his eyes, though with a hint of fondness, at how you’re mentioned once more.
He can admit that their underclassman is especially charming in your own way, but Satoru’s comical whining is getting old.
No matter what the conversation is about, Gojo always finds a way to bring up his dismay about the failure of his advances towards their underclassman.
If it wasn’t so consistent, then Geto would’ve thought that it was cute.
“What? Did you push her into the rain or something?” He chuckled, throwing his dismayed friend one last look before looking back towards the window, watching the raging rain.
Gojo’s expression dropped even more at the mention, “Why do all of you say that?! I’m not a monster!” A sigh left Gojo’s lips, his glasses discarded beside him on the desk as his gaze focused on two raindrops; a distance away from eachother, despite being on the same window glass.
A small smile unconsciously perks up the corners of his glossy lips.
If he could estimate the distance between those two drops, then he would say that they’re five feet apart.
Why, though?
Man! Even rain drops hated eachother! There was no hope!
“I just don’t understand why she has to keep her distance all the time! She’s so cozy with Haibara and Nanami, even with you and Shoko—but me?” He groaned, barely resisting the urge to roll his eyes, “Bleh! I’m trash apparently, according to her.”
Silence persisted in the classroom for a bit, granting peace and only broken by the sound of the storm outside.
Before his best friend’s laugh rang out in the otherwise empty classroom.
“Are you the reason why she came back to the dorms looking like that?”
The smile on Geto’s face was undeniably teasing, shoulders trembling with the evidence of laughter as he shook his head fondly.
“Suguruuu! Don’t laugh! Just listen—“
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“I’ll be right back.” Your voice rang out in the first years’ classroom, tugging your bag off the chair as you approached the door. “And you’re not off the hook, Haibara!”
A whine followed your words, but it was quickly muffled as soon as the door to the classroom closed behind you.
A sigh left your lips, hiking your bag over your shoulder, stretching as soon as the door closed. “Man…”
As far as you knew…it is raining, and you love the rain!
Today has been a bit of a hectic day, so you were glad that you would have the time to walk on your own, peacefully, all the way to the nearby convenience store.
“Oh?”
At the, unfortunately, familiar voice, you snapped your head up, hands tightening around the strap of the bag.
“What.”
Ew. Why is this infinity activating idiot here?! Did he never have class or something? You seriously doubt he even attends his classes—based off of what Geto told you.
Does he have nothing better to do than pick on you everyday?
“And where are you going?” Gojo’s voice rang out in the empty hallway, a smug lilt to his tone as he tilted his head at you.
While he worked hard to maintain the cool and unbothered front on the outside. He was mentally cheering on the inside.
Yay! Score for Gojo Satoru!
Man, fate really liked him. I mean—why else would he be bumping into you every other day like this?
An exasperated look rested on your features, eye twitching in irritation, “I don’t think…that’s any of your business, Gojo-senpai.” You emphasized on the honorific, trying to resist the urge to just walk away and leave.
You dislike him…but, you also have to maintain respect to an upperclassman.
At the honorific, though a common thing to hear from the first years, Gojo couldn’t help but feel his heart race—feeling as if a cupid’s arrow had pierced through it. Not the bad kind this time!
Gojo is willing to hang onto any string of hope, even if your current glare was snapping the thread.
“Aw, come on! I can’t be not suspicious if my cute underclassman is leaving class in the middle of the day with her bag.” A huff left his lips, the signature pout making its way onto his lips.
What a man child!
“Are you sick?”
Your eye twitched.
“Tired?”
Your lips settled into a frown.
“Are you injured? But you had no mission today!”
Your eyes narrowed into a glare.
“Or—!”
“Enough!” A cry leaves your lips as you glare up at him, eyebrows pinched together, “I’m going to the convenience store! There! Happy?”
Silence took over, filling the hallway as they remained standing—five feet apart—with you glaring up at him, hands clutching into the strap of your bag.
Huh—why was this idiot so silent?
For Gojo, it felt like everything else you said had went through one ear and left out the other, the tinted view of you through his glasses was almost intoxicating.
The way that you had to look up at him, okay maybe you were glaring but whatever, your eyes rounded with annoyance—it was a sight that he should’ve gotten used to.
But it still managed to make his heart lurch everytime you even looked at him.
“Can I come with?” An excited exclamation left his lips, eyes sparkling as he shot you a small pleading look, “Pleaseee!”
This was definitely his chance!
“No.” So blunt!
“Why nooot? ‘promise I’ll be good company!” A whine left his lips, “Besides, it’s raining!”
Hah? What was this idiot on about?
You shot him a weirded out look, “Okay? Thanks? I sure couldn’t guess from the rain pelting on the classroom window.”
Gah! Now he seemed like a total idiot!
“Wait! I mean—you don’t have an umbrella!” He flailed his hands around, a panicked look setting onto his features, “I have one! Who wants to walk in the rain without an umbrella, right?” A hurried laugh slipped from him.
Was the Gojo Satoru nervous? You tilted your head, raising an eyebrow.
Of course he was nervous! He has one chance to make this work!
“I’ll just borrow an umbrella from Haibar—“
Oh, hell no!
“No! No—he’s like—his umbrella is probably not as functional as mine!” He spouted anything he could, trying to salvage anything that could be saved.
You raised a brow.
Huh? What? That doesn’t even make sense! No way his idiocy could reach those levels.
“That doesn’t even make sense! Your cursed energy is messing with your head or something!” You huffed, “Over my dead body will you accompany me!”
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“Woooo!”
The sound of an umbrella opening echoed infront of the entrance of Jujutsu Tech, lost in the noise of the rain hitting the concrete harshly.
“Do you even want anything from the convenience store? Or are you looking for any reason to be anywhere but class?” You scoffed, crossing your arms as you watched him open the umbrella.
“You can’t keep skipping, yknow.” He skipped class way too much.
A nervous look was thrown to the storm outside, biting down on your bottom lip as you looked back at the umbrella in his hands.
How was his umbrella going to cover the both of you if you maintained the five feet rule?
Oh.
And the infinity.
Despite willing yourself to not get your hopes up, you couldn’t help but wonder if he would actually be decent this time and would keep his infinity off. No way he went through all this trouble only to have you stand in the pouring rain, right?
Gojo threw you an offended look, “Eh?— I just want to accompany my underclassman to the convenience store, like a good upperclassman would!” Before his shoulders dropped, a faux look of exasperation crossing his features.
“And I guess I could get something or two for Suguru.”
This was it! His chance to impress you and charm you away!
“It is my duty, as your faithful upperclassman, to make sure you’re safe all the time!” A charming smile perked up on his glossy lips, placing his hand over his heart in a display of chivalry.
Yaaay! He was probably looking cool as hell right now! You must totally be falling in love with him right now!
“Keep me…safe while going to the…convenience store?”
On his precious underclassman’s face was a smile, one so soft and sweet that he was afraid he would melt if he kept staring at it for too long.
your eyes carried a glint of a sparkle in them—a contrast to the gloomy weather—and Gojo always thought he had the prettiest eyes but—
He was seriously starting to doubt that now.
“That’s the dumbest thing, ever. I’m a sorcerer too, no?” You let out a small chuckle, exchanging a small glance with his glasses covered eyes.
The carrier of six eyes could pass down the title of the prettiest eyes to someone else now.
And oh—that chuckle.
His hand tightened around the handle of the umbrella, feeling a small lump form in his throat.
You shook your head, flashing him a weird look at his sudden silence, “Whatever, Gojo-senpai. Let’s just go. I don’t want to stay around you longer than necessary.”
So mean!
Tipping the umbrella forward, Gojo nodded his head towards the school doors, “After you.~”
He was being such a gentleman! Oh—how your heart must be fluttering for him right now!
“Idiot.” You scoffed.
He was such an idiot. Did he think he was in a movie or something?
A sigh left your lips, shaking your head in reply, “Don’t get me wet.” You mumbled in a warning tone, noticing how he held the umbrella at arm’s length.
A suggestive smirk flashed on his features, “Oh?~”
Your cheeks heated up, “Creep!” You huffed, walking beside him as they exited the building, protected from the rain by the shade of the umbrella above both of you.
“What a shameful excuse for an upperclassman. Good thing we have Shoko-senpai and Geto-senpa—“ You paused, noting something.
Huh…no infinity. You are…walking under the same umbrella.
Sure, you weren’t exactly standing close like you should be under an umbrella, there was some distance, but his umbrella was big enough to cover both of you even while there was a small distance between you.
!!
3 feet!
Hwaaah! They were three feet away and he didn’t activate his infinity! This was…a big achievement.
You cleared your throat, directing your gaze down as you focused on the splashes caused by your steps, pressing your lips into a straight line as you fought back the heat on your cheeks.
“Ahem…”
Confused by the sudden silence, Gojo turned his head to the side, tilting his head as he stared down at you, “Hey, yo—“
Ah?—
Gojo’s breath hitched, feeling his chest constricting as soon as he saw the absolutely bashful look on your face.
Gojo is familiar with looks of bashfulness, he’s a witness to these expressions each time a girl bounds up to him with red cheeks and a compliment. He’s not new to these looks—in fact, they’ve gotten quite old to see.
But…
Gojo thinks that a bashful look is absolutely precious on his little underclassman. It’s a sight that he doesn’t think he’ll ever tire of, no matter how much he encounters it.
“What’s with the radio silence, hm? Did I finally charm you? I knew it would happen!” He slipped in a quick remark in order to save face, trying to uphold his cool front.
“What? Cat got your tongue—oh wait, my bad. I forgot you’re like a little kitten, heh.”
It had always been a wish to see you flustered because of him, to see you blush and get embarrassed by him.
He’s starting to take back his words now.
He doesn’t think it will be good for his heart if he sees the sight of you being flustered, it isn’t healthy for it to be tugging at his heart this much.
His hand tightened around the handle of the umbrella, unconsciously tilting it a bit towards you in order to shield you from the rain completely.
His precious little underclassman.
You looked up, swallowing the lump in your throat, before turning your head towards him. This seems like a good time to finally crack the question.
“Gojo-senpai…” Oh, his heart stopped at the honorific, “Why do you always—“
Everything you said went through one ear and left out the other. Fuck. His heart was racing way too much, he couldn’t focus on anything but your bashful expression and that..
Honorfic.
It was dripping with honey whenever you uttered it out.
His eyes rounded behind his glasses, a subtle red flush spreading across his cheeks. His face felt like it was on fire, the heat unbearable. It felt like this is the first time he’s been flustered.
Like the tables have been turned.
“Gojo-senpai?” Fuck. You said it again.
“Are you listening to m— Ah!”
Before either of you knew it, you felt an invisible force repel, no—force you away from Gojo, almost as if a wall had suddenly formed between you.
It quite literally felt like, instead of only forming a barrier between you as usual, it pushed you away.
“Hey—!” A panicked call left Gojo’s lips, eyes widening.
You stumbled over your feet, due to not having time to process the sudden push, a small squeak leaving your lips as you slammed down onto the floor—right on your butt. Ouch.
“Fuck—“ A hurried curse slipped past Gojo’s lips as he looked down at you, “Hey, are you alright? What happened?”
A small hiss left your lips as you felt the cold rain water pelt harshly onto your head, soaking you from head to toe in no time. Your fingers twitched, feeling the hard concrete under them.
So much for not wanting to get wet.
This…despicable man!
You kept your head down, trying to will yourself to calm down, taking a deep breath.
“Hey.” Gojo lowered his voice, brows furrowing in concern at your sudden silence. He kneeled infront of you, keeping the umbrella over him—you were already wet anyways. “What’s up? Did you hurt yourself or something? Let me see.”
At his words, your head snapped up, eyes narrowed into a glare, face contorted into an angered expression, “What’s wrong with you?!” Seriously! Did he find any of this funny?
Huh? What did you mean what was wrong with him? Is it so bad to want to check up on his junior? Arrest him then!
He huffed, tilting his head with a confused hum, “What’s that supposed to mean? You’re the one who tripped. Don’t blame it on me!” He clicked his tongue, shaking his head disapprovingly, “You really ought to stop being so clumsy.”
He internally cooed. Poor underclassman, these strong winds probably pushed you! Worry not, he’ll protect you!
You sneered. “Do you not have a single serious bone in your body?”
Was this idiot being for real? This really was not a funny joke, this was you constantly getting humiliated whenever you were around him.
This time, you would not only be humiliated, but will also get a cold! Ahh! This was so frustrating!
“Shut up! I’m not laughing! Nobody is!” You could feel the tip of your nose freezing, hair sticking to your face as the water seeping into your uniform weighed you down, a shiver running down your spine.
Seriously, why were you always so against him helping you? Your hatred for him really ran a long way, huh?
“You always do this! How hard is it to not do it? Will you die if you hold back from doing it?” You huffed.
“What are you on about? I think the rain water is getting into your brain!” A pout pulled down the corners of his lips as he looked at you, “Why would I go through all the trouble of getting you to walk with me if I was going to deliberately push you or something?”
You really weren’t making sense to him! He was only being chivalrous and helping you. What did you mean by he always does this? Be a gentleman? Duh!
A frown rested on your lips, “I don’t know? You’re so complex! You always end up doing this. What about me is so intimidating?”
Nothing. Gojo thinks that nothing about you is intimidating except for your beauty, that’s the most intimidating thing about you.
Besides, how could he ever find you intimidating when, even though you were on the ground and he was kneeling infront of you, you still had to look up at him? You were so small.
“You? Intimidating? Please. A little kitten is more intimidating than you.” He chuckled, shaking his head, a teasing smile on his lips.
Gojo thinks that’s the most precious sight he would ever grow to see in his life. He finds himself feeling bad for everyone else that never had the opportunity to view such a cute sight like you in the rain—
but, he also finds himself feeling prideful that he’s the one to see it.
He’s such a lucky bastard, no?
“Nevermind! I don’t want to go to the convenience store! What’s the use, anyways?” You retaliated, a hand raising to your head to brush away the strands of hair sticking to your face—
Gojo’s heart skipped a beat.
“Don’t approach me ever again! I’ll tell everyone at school how despicable you really are! Hmph.”
“Wait wait—what?! No! I’m the totally cool and dashing upperclassman that loves all his underclassmen—“ You the most. “And all his underclassmen love him!” Except you. And Nanami.
Bless Haibara’s soul.
You shot him an exasperated look, “Your delusions are stronger than your cursed energy.” You mumbled under your breath, breath coming out in a small cloud of air—a testament to how cold you are.
Internally, Gojo felt horrible, seeing you this cold, fighting to not shiver and your face turning red, but it was also adorable.
“Huh?! That’s so mean! Where do you store all of that hatred, huh?” He pouted, feeling an arrow strike his heart at your direct comment.
“Shut up.” You grumbled, supporting your weight on your hands as you stood up, kneeling down and picking up your drenched bag, “I knew it was wrong to trust you.”
At your words, a lump formed in Gojo’s throat, hand tightening around the handle of that stupid umbrella. He looked up at you from his kneeling position, watching you stand up and adjust your bag over your shoulder.
You always said hurtful things to him, but it resonated a lot more with him this time. Even when you hurt him with your words, you still looked as majestic as ever.
Did you ever think about how alluring you are?
“Hmph. My bad for wanting to help you!” He huffed, standing up and closing the umbrella, tucking it under his arms as he folded them, “Where’s my ‘Oh thank you, Gojo-senpai! You’re the coolest upperclassman ever!’ ?”
Your eye twitched at how he pitched up his voice, a horrible impression of you, “Go die, Gojo-senpai!”
You glared at him, before turning your back to him, walking back to the school, “I don’t want to see your face today.”
What?!— No!
“Wait—! I’m sorry!” He hurriedly followed after. He doesn’t even know what he did!
“I don’t care!” You looked at him over your shoulder, the rain falling harshly on your head, “Don’t—!” In your haste of wanting to berate him once more, you stumbled over your feet—for the second time that day.
Can you really be blamed? The concrete was wet and slippery and your wet shoes and socks weren’t doing you any justice. Plus the soaked clothes!
Gojo’s eyes widened, a panicked curse escaping his lips before—with his fast reflexes, he was the strongest after all—he stepped towards you, acting on instinct.
He hastily slid his arm around your waist, wrapping around it as his palm rested on your clothed stomach, supporting your back against his sturdy frame.
“I got you.” His tone dropped in pitch, holding you close against his chest, “Don’t worry.”
A small gasp left your lips, shoulders tensing up as you looked down, gaze falling on his giant palm that rested on your stomach, nearly taking up the whole circumference, your back pressed against his clothed chest, able to feel his sturdy muscles through his wet uniform.
His wet uniform…the rain is falling on him, he’s touching you…his infinity isn’t on!
You swallowed, heart stuttering in your chest, “Huh—“ You looked up at him, eyes round with shock, cheeks heating up despite the cold weather. “You’re…”
This is the first time…they’ve touched—let alone stood this close to eachother.
“You—“ He let out a staggering breath, arm tightening around your midsection, “See? I helped you..”
Gojo’s heart positively felt like it was about to burst, not only at how soft you felt under his touch, but also at the way you looked up at him.
Hair wet, looking up at him with those round eyes, filled with wonder and awe, rain water dripping down your cheeks—and most of all, the rosy tint on your cheeks that strangely matched the color on his cheeks.
Fuck. You were so cute.
His heart picked up the pace, not knowing how to react to this new overwhelming sensation he felt being this close to you.
“…” You pressed your lips together, feeling your clothes weigh you down as your stomach fluttered, “Gojo—senpai, you—!”
And of course, his body acted on his instincts, on what he knew to do best when the adrenaline rushed in.
Infinity.
A yelp left your lips as you stumbled forward, barely having the time to balance yourself and regain your footing—thankfully you managed to do it this time, and didn’t end up on you already sore bum.
You were just getting thrown around today like a damn ball! This is getting ridiculous! Can’t you get a break?!
“Huh? Is this your way of thanking me?” His annoying whine returned, gone his flustered nature and replaced with a pouting one, “Do you not feel soooo safe and protected in my arms..?”
Gah!— He just couldn’t win! Never with you!
“You jerk! You just don’t know when to stop!” You stomped your foot angrily, the water pooled on the ground splashing at your little movement.
You wholly believe he uses his technique to have fun more than he uses it to kill curses. The universe gifted the wroooong person!
“You’re so childish and you lack any type of common sense. You just enjoy getting my hopes up, huh?!” Damn him and his stupid limitless—his infinity, his six eyes!
“What hopes?! You’re the one who flips a switch all the time whenever I do something nice.” He huffs, crossing his arms, a pout on his glossy lips as he looked away.
Was being mean to him your way of denying you’re flustered? Weird. “You don’t know how to say thank you!”
You ignored how downright attractive he looked with his hair sticking to his face, wet with water and not in its usual style, “That’s because you don’t deserve it. Go die!”
You huffed, straightening your posture, before turning your back to him, stomping back to the school. You didn’t even feel hungry anymore.
Was it from the fluttering you felt in your stomach? That was probably just your stomach turning in disgust at the sight of him!
A dismayed hum left Gojo’s lips, rolling his eyes begrudgingly as he watched you walk away, “Talk about a moody underclassman, gee…” He snatched his phone out of his pocket, dialing a number.
“Heh…she looked like a soaked kitty, I should’ve snapped a pic.”
He held his flip phone to his ear, staring at his umbrella on the floor.
Huh? Why wasn’t he getting wet?
Since when did he turn on his infinity? Must be instinct as a response to the rain. He shrugged.
“Ah! Haibara! My favorite guy!” He grinned, pressing the phone to his ear, “Would you do your cool upperclassman a favor? Do you happen to know what a little moody kitty likes to eat from the convenience store?”
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“Huh?— Hey— What happened?”
“Your best friend happened, Geto—senpai.” A sigh left your lips.
“Silly Satoru…what ever am I going to do with him.” A fond sigh left his lips.
“Kill him—“
“Alright alright.” He let out a small chuckle, charming, “Go to your room and change. Don’t catch a cold, ‘kay?”
He was so charming. The perfect example of an upperclassman, not like that other bastard.
Geto chuckled.
Hah…
Gojo would freak out if you got a cold, anyways.
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mrs-kmikaelson · 4 months ago
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01| The Grey Area
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x reader Summary: You meet Aaron Hotchner and he makes you see everything in colour; he makes you feel like you're the only girl in the room. But then, as you find out that you're not, you realize the colour he actually makes you see the most is grey. Warnings: emotional and physical cheating, forbidden love affair, reader is in government, cm level violence, r is a bitch at first, hotch is a jerk, based on olivia pope and fitzgerald grant Words: 3.8K
Masterlist | Series Masterlist | Part 2
a/n: is this based on scandal by shonda rhimes? yes. why? bc that was peak television. making this a series bc i need to learn how to make things other than long fics (be proud of me).
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1989
For as long as you could remember, life was slow. Everything was black and white: your surroundings, your activities, your beliefs. 
And then you met Aaron Hotchner, and you started seeing things in colour.
"I'm sorry, is this seat taken?"
You barely looked up at the person, just shaking your head and continuing to twirl your pen on your desk. He sat down right after.
You didn't expect him to talk to you. In fact, you were sure your disinterest was written all over your face in bold red letters. 
"I'm Aaron. Aaron Hotchner." He held his hand out; you only saw it because he held it over your desk, not because you actually looked in his direction. 
You stared at his hand plainly before looking up to the front of the class where the professor had just stood up. "And I'm not interested," you said. Presumptuous of you, maybe, but this was Georgetown, and it was your second year. Everybody was competition, and nobody actually wanted to be your friend unless they were looking for something a little more.
It was like you could hear his frown. "I— we can't be friends?" 
Finally, out of just pure exasperation, you looked at him, and boy were you taken aback. Aaron Hotchner, as he so formally introduced himself, had dark, dark brown hair, almost black, and a jawline that wasn't too sharp nor too round. His brown eyes looked at you expectantly, confusion swimming through them. Briefly, you thought he was perfect, but that wouldn't change your stance.
Despite your short-lived awe, you deadpanned, "No, we can't."
Aaron went to open his mouth, but then the professor started speaking and it cut him right off. You looked toward the front and didn't back at him once, listening intently. You were determined to succeed above all things, and no boy would get in the way of that.
Your first lecture of the semester went fine after that. You packed up your things at the end and you were gone before Aaron could try again. You went to one more class then got ready for work without another thought of him.
During nights, you were a bartender at this place near the campus. It wasn't just college kids; it was also frequented by businessmen and other big spenders who tipped well so long as you smiled and laughed at their jokes.
The excessive flirting wasn't ideal, but the job paid the bills, and since you were doing this all by yourself, that was exactly what you needed.
You rarely saw people you knew. There were regulars, and every once in a while you might've seen a kid from one of your classes, but it wasn't something you expected often.
You certainly didn't expect to see the hot guy from Advanced Legal Research.
"Hi there, what can I getcha?" You weren't looking at the customer, busy cleaning a glass and simultaneously passing someone their drink while you spoke to them.
"Hey, you're the girl from my LAW-J 301 course"
You paused at the person's voice, both at their enthusiasm and familiarity, and looked up. When you did, you couldn't help the groan that left you. "Seriously? You, again?" Each word was enunciated slowly, accurately demonstrating your annoyance. However, you got back to what you were doing, taking your eyes off him. "What, are you stalking me, Hopscotch?"
"It's Hotchner."
This time, your sigh was accompanied by a pointed eye roll. "Duuuude." You looked back up. "I do not care. Now, what do you want?"
He snorted. "Do you talk to all your customers this way?"
You flashed him a sarcastic smile. "Just the ones that can't take a hint." He opened his mouth for a sharp rebuttal no doubt, but you redirected the conversation. "Your order, Hopscotch. Or else you're gonna have to kick rocks."
He acquiesced like it was such a hardship you were asking of him, like you weren't in a bar that he came to specifically to order a drink. "Fine. Whiskey, neat."
That, you could help him with. You grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels and poured some into a glass for him, all the while making conversation. He wasn't special; you did this with every customer. "What are you doing here?" When you got no response, you glanced back up to see a confused expression on his face. You elaborated, "Doesn't seem like your scene." You would've said no offense, but who were you kidding? You were already abrasive to begin with.
But he didn't look offended. If anything, he looked curious. "How so?"
You slid his drink across the counter, cocking your head at him as if telling him it was stupid to even ask. "You introduced yourself with your first and last name, extended your hand for me to shake, then just now, you referred to our class with the course code." You raised a brow then. "A little formal, don't you think?"
Now he looked a little offended. "Formal? I don't think so. I'm a little old fashioned at most."
For the second time that day, you deadpanned. "You're at the bar in a suit and tie. You couldn't have made it any more obvious that you don't do this often."
He got a little red then. You think that, if he could've, he would've loosened his tie, but he just picked up his drink, taking a swig. You'd give him a little credit, though; at least he looked like he could take his liquor. "Fine," he admitted, "my friends dragged me out."
"Ah," you chuckled, "common occurrence here at GWU. You'll get used to it soon, freshie."
He furrowed his brows. "How'd you know I was a first-year?"
You grinned. "You just told me, Hopscotch."
He groaned, making you stifle a laugh. No, you wouldn't laugh at him; that'd make it seem like his presence was growing on you when it wasn't. 
You didn't need new friends, and you certainly didn't need suit-and-tie-wearing, formal Aaron Hotchner.
But he stayed there. He stayed there and talked you as you served other customers, asking you to refill his drink every now and then. You wondered where his friends were, but by the time closing came 'round, you assumed they were long gone.
He talked to you all night, you realized. 
And you didn't totally hate it.
Aaron visited you at work the next day, too. That's when you told him your name. Then you started talking to him in class. Then, before you knew it, you exchanged numbers and he was visiting you at work nearly every day.
But you were right in your earlier reservations. You and Aaron Hotchner couldn't be friends.
You just learned that too late.
2005
"Tallie, tell Gretchen that I need the files on Henderson's case by the end of the day, please."
You walked with your assistant at your side, heels clicking against the floor as you went through all the day's administrative business. Every day, Tallie went over your schedule with you as soon as you entered the building. Time was of the essence in your job, and you had none of it to waste.
"Yes, ma'am, and— if I may—"
"Oh, and contact the President's Chief of Staff. I need to meet with him by the end of the day to discuss the recent terrorist attack in London again. We need to communicate with the British government without overstepping."
"Done, and—"
"And could you please get Rob Burton on the line for me?" You turned down the hall that led to your office. "He said he has an inquiry for me."
"Well, ma'am, um—" You had just reached your office when Tallie stopped, sighing. You looked back at her, raising a brow. Sheepishly, she pointed ahead of you. "There's that."
Your brows knitted together. You turned, following her gaze to see a dark-haired man standing in your waiting room, eyes on his watch. As if he felt your presence, he looked up, and as soon as your eyes locked, you realized why he looked so familiar.
Tallie cut off your thought process. "I kept telling him he didn't have an appointment, but he said you knew him and would let him in, that it's urgent."
You let out a sigh of your own, muttering under your breath, "Somehow, I don't doubt that." It had to be urgent if Aaron Hotchner was at your office. You glanced back at Tallie, giving her a tense smile. "Thank you, Tallie. We'll raincheck that phone call with Mr. Burton?"
She nodded, giving a "Yes, ma'am," before she walked past the man in your waiting room to her desk.
Like old times, you couldn't hold back another sigh, but you got your exasperation under control before you walked up to him, if not just to be professional and keep up appearances.
"Agent Hotchner," you greeted, a faux smile on your face. "It's... nice to see you." It was like the words stung coming out of your mouth, and that was because they weren't true. If he was half as good of a profiler as you thought he was, then he'd know that.
If he knew you as well as he thought he did, then he should've known that regardless.
You didn't bother waiting for his greeting; you didn't care for it. "Let's talk in my office." Not a question.
He complied, following you into your office and shutting the door on the way in. With your back still turned to him, you momentarily closed your eyes, willing yourself to have the strength to sit through whatever it was he had to tell you.
When you had it, you turned back around, dropping all the pleasantries now that you were away from prying eyes. "What is it that's so important you couldn't say over the phone?"
He didn't answer. Deep down, you both knew it was because he could've. He didn't need to be here, but instead of agreeing with you, he nodded to the two chairs in front of your desk. "You're not going to offer me a seat?"
You scoffed. "If I did, would you take it?" You're met with silence, another answer in and of itself. It'd been six years, yet you could still read Hotch's tells like a children's book. He didn't like to say anything when he knew you were right.
You took that moment to examine him. He looked the same, just as you left him. Maybe a bit more worn, a bit more tired, and a bit more cold, but weren't you all?
Briefly, you wondered what he was thinking about you.
He got to the point, as he always did. "I have a suspect for the murders of 12 women in D.C. spanning over the past six months," he told you. "His name is Eric Clark. He's the founder and CEO of a new tech start-up here; they're calling him the new Zuckerberg." The sarcasm in his voice when he said that last bit was evident, shining through his monotonous persona.
You were aware of the murders he spoke of, and you were aware of who Eric Clark was. He was invited to some state dinner you just went to. But you didn't say this. Instead, you shrugged like it didn't matter to you and asked him, "So why are you telling me?"
If your nonchalance bothered him, he didn't voice it. He simply explained, "I need a warrant." A warrant, he said, like that sentence stood alone. What he was realling saying was, he needed a warrant, and he needed you to get it for him. More than that, he expected you to get it for him.
That forced a chuckle out of you, even though you didn't feel any humour at all. So that was why he was here; six years go by without any contact, but now that he needed something, here he was. 
You felt a strange sense of déjà vu. Hotch needing something and claiming that you were the only one who could give it to him.
"You need a warrant," you echoed, splaying your hands out in front of you. "So go take that up with a judge."
You saw a sudden crack in his calm composure. His eyes narrowed just the slightest bit, so slightly you wouldn't have noticed it if you didn't know what to look for.
But you knew what to look for.
"Come on, Y/N." He said your name like you were just old friends, like this stop by your office was a normal occurence. "Everyone knows you have pull in this city."
You did have pull in this city. In fact, you had pull in just about every city in America; being the U.S. Attorney General gave you that kind of power.
So yes, you had pull, and now Hotch wanted you to pull some strings for him as if you owed him a favour, as if you owed him anything.
You didn't say this, but you were sure that your next words said enough for you. "Where's Gideon? Normally, he's the one to come knocking on my door when the BAU needs something." You found it highly unlikely that he'd ever send Hotch, of all people, on his behalf.
Hotch pursed his lips. "He's on leave."
You made a clicking sound of realization, but it was more mocking than anything since you already gathered as much. That meant he was unit chief now, and that was why he was here. So that's what it took? you thought. All it took was a promotion, obligation, and now he was here.
He was here, checking his watch in your waiting room, marching into your office and shutting the door, clenching his jaw and pursing his lips like he was the one with the right to be mad. 
You'd give it to him: Aaron Hotchner sure as hell had guts.
You circled back to the original topic. "Yeah, Hotch, that's not happening." He went to cut you off, but you stopped him by raising a hand. Your were firm as you asserted, "If you're here with me instead of with a judge, that means you have insubstantial evidence. So how about, instead of ambushing me and wasting my precious time, you go back to the drawing board?" It wasn't a suggestion as much as it was an insult.
His jaw tensed, his eyes hardening as he stared at you. "I am sorry to waste your precious time, but precious lives are at stake." Condescending as ever.
"I undersand that, but you clearly have no probable cause." Or did you forget what that was? you wanted to add, but you kept that part to yourself.
You thought, if he clenched his jaw any harder, it just might break. "I have a profile—"
"Which clearly isn't enough—"
"You of all people should understand the importance of a profile, Y/N."
You took a sharp breath through your nose. It was low of him to say that, and it was also such a profiler of him to say it, mostly because he knew it'd get you.
You weren't always the Attorney General.
Perhaps this is why you agreed. "Fine. I'll go talk to a judge for you."
He sighed, "Thank you." He said it without looking at you, then he was opening your door and walking out, and you nearly thanked him for it.
Six years had gone by.
Yet you wouldn't have been able to tell with the way your heart was racing.
You went on with your day after Hotch left, going through paperwork and dropping by the White House. You had a meeting with the President that day, the President of the United States, the most important person in the whole damn country. That was little old you that did that.
You weren't the same girl he remembered, not that girl from Georgetown who rolled her eyes at every one of his corny jokes, and he wasn't the same guy who'd sit and wait for you the by the bar, either. He was the unit chief now. And you were the Attorney General.
Things were different now. 
Or maybe they weren't.
Because Aaron Hotchner came striding into your office just later that night.
Your door flew open, Aaron walking in thereafter with a stone cold frown and determination etched onto his face. It wasn't like the Aaron you knew to frown so much, but that wasn't what you were focused on.
You immediately shot up from your chair and rounded your desk, baffled by his behaviour. "Hey! What the hell do you think you're—"
You didn't get to finish your sentence. Before you could berate him, Aaron's hand was on the back of your head and his lips were slamming into yours. Slamming was the right word. This was fervent, almost violent, like he wanted to bruise you, like he wanted to permanently mold his lips into yours.
Your eyes went wide. You should've pushed him away—you really should have. But it was like you weren't thinking. Like you were on auto-pilot, your hands automatically went to his hair, your lips moving in unison with his.
This was muscle memory. God, how could you have ever forgotten what this felt like? Like ecstasy, and butterflies, and all good things in the world. Kissing him felt like everything all at once.
But everything meant that it came with all the bad in the world, too.
Your senses came back to you as you pushed him away, stumbling backward. You were sure you would've fallen, had your desk not been right behind you. You were heaving, and he was no different.
Fuck. What did you just do?
Your eyes darted to the door, alarm flashing through them. "Tallie—"
He finished your thought, assuring you, "She's gone. I sent her home."
Relief flooded your body. She wasn't here, she didn't see anything. That was good. But then what he said actually hit you. Your eyes narrowed into slits. "You did what?" He rolled his eyes, opening his mouth to retort, but you kept going. "You sent my assistant home?"
"Yes."
You scoffed. He sent your assistant home, and he was just admitting it proudly like it was nothing. Maybe nothing was different after all if Aaron was still here, barging into your life like he owned it, like he owned you.
And perhaps he did.
"You can't— you can't just—"
"I can't what?" he cut you off then took a step closer. "I can't come see you?" Another step. "We used to see each other all the time."
You were already cornered, right against your desk. "That was before," you responded. "Before—" the rest of your sentence got caught in your throat. You had glanced down momentarily, catching sight of his hand in the process. There, something glinted in the light. A golden band.
A wedding ring.
Your chest tightened, your voice getting smaller. "Before that." Even if he wasn't a profiler, it was impossible not to notice the crack in your voice.
You didn't know how you didn't feel the ring when he had his hand on your head.
Confused, Aaron followed your line of sight, right down to his hand. When he realized what you were referring to, he sighed, "Y/N, it's not what you think—"
A humourless chuckle left you. "It never is, is it?" You could count the number of times he'd said that to you. "God, I can't believe it." You chuckled again before your laugh faded into something angrier. No, not angrier. You were furious.
You didn't know if there was even a word in the English language that could describe how furious you were.
"You—" you took a deep breath, stopping yourself from yelling. "You're doing this to me— again?"
"Y/N—"
You slapped his hands away when he tried to put his hands on your arms. You didn't want to feel that fucking ring touch your skin. "Again?!" you seethed. "What, two times wasn't fucking enough for you? You had to go and do this a third time—"
"Please, just—"
You refused to let him get a word out. "No! I don't need any more of your excuses, Hotch!" Lord knew that if you heard them, you might just believe them.
You nearly did the first time.
To think that he had just been in your office hours earlier, acting like he didn't know you, like he didn't break you down just to build you back up and do it all over again. 
He could've at least given you the courtesy of leaving you alone, but it appeared that he couldn't even do that. Still, he was defending himself, false conviction lacing through his voice. "Haley and I are separated—"
"Separated?" That forced another chuckle out of you. "Sure, and I'm the Pope."
His glare at you hardened, like he was mad at you "I'm being serious."
Another laugh. He couldn't figure out why the hell you were laughing.
"Haley, haley, haley." Your voice raised. "It's always about fucking Haley." Even when he was with you.
Especially when he was with you.
His jaw locked. "We're not together right now."
You snapped, "Tell that to the fucking ring on your finger, asshole." 
It was laughable, really. You were the Attorney General of the United States of America. You sat in one of the highest offices of the land. Yet Aaron Hotchner still had the ability to turn you into putty in his hands.
The Attorney General didn't play second fiddle to anyone.
But you'd always be second to Haley Brooks.
"Get out, Hotchner." 
"What?" He had the audacity to look hurt, confused. You didn't understand what there was to be confused about. 
You managed to wriggle yourself out of the space where you were stuck between him and your desk, walking to your door and nearly yanking it open, holding it for him wordlessly.
He scoffed. "Y/N, come on—"
You shut him down. "No. I did what you asked earlier. I got you your warrant, therefore we are done. Now get out."
You didn't meet his eyes but you felt them burning into you with the same heat that'd make an unsub crack. It was the same heat that'd make you crack, too, which was precisely why you refused to look at him.
After what felt like a lifetime of staring at you, his footsteps sounded. You didn't look up until you watched his shoes pass you. Immediately, you closed the door, locking it.
Your hand fell around the door handle, your forehead resting against the door. Briefly, you wondered what the sensation in your eyes was, until you realized it was tears.
You hadn't cried in so long.
But whenever Aaron Hotchner came around, tears seemed inevitable.
taglist: @c-losur3
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konpeitonom · 16 days ago
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general dating headcanons for captain grant curly.
sfw— lowercase intended ^_^
g/n reader - no pronouns mentioned
requests are open, i do all the characters ^.^
notes; i love this guy. all of these are pre-crash on earth. i would love to write for post-crash/found curly someday perhaps. these are kind of everywhere. not proofread oopsies. wrote them sleep deprived zzz .. going to bed now!
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— this man is extremely overbearing when it comes to his love. i mean there’s a reason everyone compares him to a golden retriever.
— in my small brain he is 6’2 and very beefy. he works out! it’s canon! gym bro and will annoy you about your protein intake.. but it’s because he cares!
— he is a morning person. it’s annoying unless you are one too. he will get up at 5 on the dot! he is not a coffee drinker in my opinion, or at least a morning one. he heard cold water is best in the mornings as a teen and stuck with it since.
— by the time you’re awake he’s already had breakfast (prepared you some as well, of course), ran a couple miles, and did all his chores.
— this man is the definition of acts of service. he is extremely considerate. If you're particular about food, how it’s cooked- how it’s served, he will make the effort to do so correctly.
— if you ever bring it up though he’ll just say ‘it’s the bare minimum for a man’ haha
— sort of likes it when you’re sick. not in a weird way, he just thinks it’s cute how you act. and he likes to take care of you. he is a very traditional man in that sense.
— i think he’s very private with his love! like everyone would know you’re together, no doubt about it. maybe subtle hand or cheek kisses in public but not much more than that. i think he thinks love is a very intimate, private thing.
— he’s not materialistic in any sense, quite the opposite. he’d invest and save in high quality things, get you the exact ring you’d want or do research in your hobbies to make sure you’d like what he’d purchase.
— i also like to think he sort of puts up a front when with others, but not with you. ideally, he’d want someone he can be vulnerable with from time to time and not feel as if he has to walk on eggshells constantly.
— he’d like pinching/poking at your tummy. he seems like a tummy guy. like he’d grab at it and squish it. i think he’d find thighs cute too.
— i think he’s definitely a cute-over-sexy kind of guy!! i stand by this!! no one can convince me otherwise.
— he likes playful banter! playful teasing! someone quick-witted. it eases up any potential tension.
— he would also just hold your hands and rub your fingers softly, kissing your knuckles. again, he’s very soft with his love. he’d be upset to hurt you in any way, especially physically. he knows he can be a bit too much when it comes to affection. and he never wants to make you uncomfortable!!
— back to his whole ‘private intimacy’ thing. he feels closest to you when you’re ‘parallel playing’.. doing mundane things, your own hobbies, but being beside each other- he feels so lucky to be able to do that. it feels domestic.
— we’ve already seen it in-game, but he does not like to argue whatsoever. sometimes it does him good, apologizes quickly, but in more serious moments it could definitely come off as him brushing off your feelings.
— he doesn’t intend to, he just wants to avoid arguing at all costs.
— more of a “let’s just talk things through” kind of guy. haha. as his partner you’ll have to understand how to talk to him, i assume.
— he is a good man. a great man even… husband material..
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extensionallydefined · 7 months ago
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Okay, so, I need to talk about the relationship between Persona 5's ending and Persona 5 royal's ending, because I think it isn't discussed enough how one puts into question the themes of the other and in doing so it elevates everything that came before.
Spoilers are coming, you've been warned.
The main thing that's given me an outlet to think about this is a few quotes from the Phantom Thieves when they're in the Velvet Room after being Thanos-snapped by Yaldabaoth. Specifically these quotes:
Ann: "I... I never want anyone to have to go through what I did!"
Yusuke: "Just as art is meant to break boundaries, people should be saved even if they frown upon it. I won't allow the justice I believe in to be shaken any further!"
Ryuji: "We're doin' this to make sure people don't go through the same crap we did. It doesn't matter if they think we're just or not. We gotta do what we believe in!"
Futaba: "I can't let people suffer like this, even if I don't know them personally"
They mention some core ideas: 1. They want to prevent people's suffering because of the suffering they've felt. 2. They must do this regardless of if people want it, because they think it's the right thing to do. 3. Their justice is worth fighting for by virtue of being what they believe in.
Does this seem familiar? Maybe makes you think of a certain therapist who shows up in Royal?
I think Takuto Maruki serves a decent amount of purposes narratively and thematically, but one of the most genius things about him is that he serves as a foil to both the Phantom Thieves and Akechi, and in being that foil, he is, deep down, following the principles that the Phantom Thieves fought for - In the end, it was largely Joker who inspired him to fight for his reality.
Maruki fights for a reality where suffering straight up doesn't exist, because he doesn't want anyone to feel the suffering he's had to endure. Maruki wants the Phantom Thieves and Akechi to never feel suffering anymore, regardless of their stance on the matter. He is "saving" them regardless of their wishes, and will fight them to keep the reality he wants. He thinks the world is unfair, so his "justice" is to make a perfect world for everyone - and that's what makes it worth fighting for, because that's what he believes.
Maruki's rationale to fight against the Phantom Thieves and Akechi is (partly) the same reasoning that the Phantom Thieves use to regain their motivation to fight the Holy Grail/Yaldabaoth.
So, narratively, Maruki serves as a mirror that's telling things not to be told for the Phantom Thieves to look into and to see the ugly parts of their own way of acting. Can they really fight Maruki, knowing that he is just acting how they did?
I see people sometimes refusing Maruki's reality because it "wouldn't actually work" or "it's imperfect". But as far as I'm aware, it's imperfect because it hasn't been completed yet - I think the game is a lot more interesting under the pretense that Maruki truly has the power to erase all suffering, once his reality is complete, past the deadline. I also see the argument, and even the game uses it, that Maruki's world "isn't reality". But did we listen well to Morgana's speech before he disappeared in the Yaldabaoth arc? The world itself is made up of cognition, reality is born from the points of view of everyone. Maruki *can* change reality, and the real question of the game is not about the logistics or "ontological dignity" of his reality, but rather - Do you want a world where all your wishes are granted and no suffering exists?
In the end, the game shows the Phantom Thieves that "sticking to their justice" will make them fight against people with similar ideals as theirs. It's funny, in a way, how Akechi was the one fully willing to fight Maruki from the start. His rebellion has always been more individualistic in nature than the Phantom Thieves' - he wanted revenge for himself, then redemption for himself and now he wants a reality where he isn't under anyone's control anymore. To him, Shido's country, Yaldabaoth's ruin and Maruki's world are all the same - Maruki just has a nicer, more therapy-speaky way of presenting his proposal, and sees people as his equals rather than as insolent masses, but his goal is the same. They're all worlds that shackle you for the "greater good". And in the end, Maruki, and Royal, force the P5 gang to become more like Akechi - to value their individuality in the face of the public's "justice".
To fight for what you believe in you will face people with the same determination as you. They will be your equals in many, many ways. In the end, you can only stick to your guns and hope that what you believe in is worth more than what they believe in.
I have a lot more to write about these topics but I'll leave it there. Maybe about the relationship between Maruki's reality and individuality next? That could be fun ^^
Btw - Special thanks to @thedaythatwas for inspiring me to write up stuff about Persona 5 Royal!
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midwesternvibes · 8 months ago
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Alright people, it's time for more Villain Leo lore!!!
Today we are diving into Leo and Splinter's relationship!!!
Read under the cut because this got so LONG, these two have so many issues and there was so much to work with.
Alright, so it's no secret that Leo and Splinter have a....less than ideal relationship. You can see throughout all of TMNT history that Leo looks up to Splinter an insane amount, and Rise Leo is no different.
This boy looked up to Lou Jitsu his whole life, and we can often see him doing the same movements and catchphrases that Lou did. Granted, all the boys do, but Leo seems particularly attached to Lou
And we've all seen the smile comparisons, it's insane how similar his grandiose smile is to Lou Jistu's.
The point is, Leo really looks up to his dad, and we can see this in his actions and attitudes towards not only Lou Jitsu, but also Splinter in canon.
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"Trust me pops!"
I mean, just look at how happy he is to be there with his dad, in his element. This episode is Leo at his peak, outsmarting everyone and predicting his family's moments to the letter.
Also, idk about you, but that smile seems incredibly genuine. That's not even a Lou Jitsu smile, that's a 100% Hamato Leonardo smile at his dad whom he looks up to so much.
And what does Splinter say to his son's ask for trust?
"I knew I should have brought Purple!"
....what.
That is his SON. His 14, maybe 15 year old son, who is asking for his father to trust him.
....and he responds by saying that he wishes he had brought his more intelligent twin brother instead, who he has already shown an implied favoritism towards in the past
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"And I thought Purple was the funny one!"
"Told you guys I was the funniest."
This is a pretty harmless comment tbh, but Leo takes so much pride in his quips, one-liners and puns that this had to sting a little bit.
There's such a huge amount of content to sift through when it comes to these two, and that fact actually saddens me because I had SO MUCH to pick from when making this post, but here's some highlights.
One thing that I noticed while watching a Splinter and Leo compilation is that during the memory episode, Leo is the only one Splinter directly hits
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NONE of the other three were directly hit like this is any point in the episode and yeah, this could totally be played off as a bit or just a case of wrong place, wrong time, but we'll get to my theory later, right now I'm just laying out the facts.
An important detail I'd like to point out here too is Leo's face after the first hit.
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Guys, he looks HURT. Donnie and Raph are looking at him, checking that he's okay, but he is looking right past them at the shadow Splinter, who is dressed and looks just like his childhood idol, who just hit him specifically right in the face.
Not only his idol even. No, the most pure and unfiltered representation of his father, the man who's raised him his whole life.
And he just got hit in the face.
Ouch. For a kid as emotive as Leo (who I honestly think feels his emotions even more intensely than Mikey when he lets them out), this is a devastating blow. Literally.
Then, let's talk about this scene, you all knew it was coming.
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"Can someone tell my son I am NOT TALKING TO HIM!!"
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"You got this pops! I love you!"
Guys this scene hurts my heart. Like, once again, he can't be older than 15 at this point. Yeah he's being a badass stratigiser this whole episode, but you cannot convince me that he wasn't at least a little excited to see his dad, his HERO in action, and wearing a matching outfit as well, and show his dad, his idol and hero, exactly what he's capable of. Leo absolutely worships the ground Splinter walks on and what does his father have to say to his son"s encouragement??
"NO!"
GAHHHH like yes, Leo was kinda being a little shit this whole episode and could have clued his dad in on the plan a little bit, but honestly that could have ruined everything if Splinter had any holdbacks.
Not to mention, this is the only Leo and Splinter episode we get. Donnie gets the derby, Mikey gets the Hidden City bonding, even Raph gets the ending of the memory episode, and in each, they have a genuine moment of bonding with Splinter.
Splinter never ONCE apologized for his actions in this episode. Not once. RAPH is the one who tells Leo in this episode later on that he trusts Leo, something he's been begging Splinter for the entire time.
All of a sudden, this moment doesn't seem so out of place.....
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"I love you soooo much!" "No, no you don't, I'm your least favorite!!"
This line could totally just be a throwaway line, but as it was pointed out to me by the wonderful @nardos-primetime, the alarms that the boys did for Google home have a REALLY upsetting one for Leo
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Go to about 1:57 and listen to that one and just......cry.
NOW that line in "Rat Flu" makes a LOT more sense. Splinter LAUGHED at Leo when he asked if he was his favorite. LAUGHED at him.
But wait, you may ask. What about the ending? Splinter made Leo the leader, obviously he trusts him!
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....yeah, just take a look at their faces here.
Donnie and Mikey are basically horrified beyond belief and in complete shock
Raph is.....blue screening, honestly
And Leo looks completely taken aback and shocked and scared and honestly, I don't blame him. There is absolutely NO precedence for Splinter to do this. He has proved time and time again that he does NOT trust Leo, he never ONCE tells Leo that he trusts him even though he asks for that trust during the entirety of "Unhappy Returns". NONE of them look happy about this new change.
You could see this as Splinter finally giving Leo a chance, but I see this a lot more as one of the more popular Fandom interpretations of Splinter wanting to give Raph a break. Raph had a huge breakdown during the finale and I don't think it's unreasonable for Splinter to have heard of that and decide that his beloved eldest needed a chance to recover.
Who better to pass this burden on to than his least favorite son!
We also see in the movie that this shift in power dynamics really doesn't do much other than create a lot of interpersonal conflict between Leo and Raph, something Splinter does absolutely nothing to help out with, other than telling them to quiet down.
Now that we have all of our evidence (and I put more work into getting evidence for this than for the English project I'm supposed to be doing right now can I just cite this as a source for me being capable of gathering evidence???) we can actually get into the analysis of how this all would affect him.
First of all, I mentioned that I would discuss the repercussions of the memory episode. This analysis is more for Splinter, but I feel like it's still important. We've seen time and time again that Leo is very similar to how Splinter was as a young teen in both looks and attitude. If Splinter truly resents his younger self and how he acted, it would make a lot of sense for him to also subconsciously resent his son who acts a lot like himself at that age. This would cause him to lash out at Leo in his subconscious, the one place where his true thoughts and feelings are on full display.
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I just wanna point out his face again here, Leo looks so hurt. He definitely already knows that he's not anywhere near Splinter's favorites at this point, but it still hurts him to see that get confirmed.
This brings me to my next point of Leo's psyche. He is a very confident, witty, smart teenager, but he's still just that. A teenager. He's anxious, insecure, and very self-reliant. He looks to others for praise often and rarely receives it, usually having to hype himself up. His relationship with Splinter only emphasizes these qualities about him and makes Leo look so much worse in Splinter's eyes because his son is just a modern-day representation of his past self.
Now let's put this into perspective of Leo's decent into villainy.
If Leo is hurting and under the impression that his brothers are maybe starting to dislike him, even hate him, adding Splinter on to this can only make it worse.
Maybe he goes to his dad for tips on how to lead when he feels like he can't talk to Raph anymore and needs his father's advice.
Maybe he sets up a dinner for him and Splinter to just chat and bond instead of sitting at the dinner table with another one of Mikey's meals that he feels too sick with anxiety from his little brother's disappointed looks to eat.
Maybe he goes to his father crying from another nightmare after not feeling welcomed in Donnie's lab anymore after they fought for an hour the day before.
And maybe, just maybe, Splinter waves him off every time.
Forgets.
Laughs at him.
I mean, this is a kid who relys on others to build him up, to praise him and love him because after all....
Who is he without his family?
Maybe it's time to find out.
First // Previous // Next
Link to an AMAZING ficlet by the FANTASTIC @beetleviolet
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almellow-crk · 2 months ago
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Most people have a way to define the relationship of their ships. Me as well. And I'm mostly a rarepair shipper, so hear me out on my take.
ElderCacao - Old Married Couple: They love quietly, small gestures of love are everything to them. They cuddle while reading a book and call eachother pet names without shame. They both have big responsibilities, but they always try to make time for their husband.
MysticCacao - Old couple that recently got married: They both also enjoy quiet time together and like small gestures. But Mystic Flour Cookie sometimes will do big gestures to show her love (like granting a big wish). He lays on her lap while he read poems while she braids his hair. They are a little ashamed of calling eachother's pet names in public. Maybe still a bit formal in private.
GoldenCacao - Young Spirit & Old Soul: She is the more active in the relationship, offers big gestures of love and calls him every pet name in the book. He is often flustered, tired and sometimes irritated (she irritates him for fun). In the private setting, however, he takes the lead. Small but significant gestures can fluster her. They lay down in bed and do whatever there in their free time. She is in constant need of affection and, truth be told, he likes to pamper her.
BurningCheese - Enemies to Lovers with Redemption Arc: He hurt her, a lot. But when he came back, she let him be. They worked from the scratch and gave eachother a chance. It's a work in process, but they have many things in common. There's a lot of falls before going up, lots of mistrust, but also an attraction that draws them close.
BitterSpice - Enemies to Lovers: They are opposites to eachother, they don't stand the other's ideals or way of living. But their personality, their little moments together are worth everything. They will make the other fall, if the time has to come. But while they wait, let them enjoy eachother until the final day.
DarkRock - A fan who happens to be a very important person and a rockstar: Sometimes one wishes they could live more normal lifes. To be there in every ocassion, to interact without making a scene about it. Maybe if he songs loud enough, his voice will find him
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crazycookies73307 · 10 months ago
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It's amazing just how much you're willing to do for someone when you like them.
In the romantic sense, I mean.
When you platonically like someone you'd do anything for them, as long as you're able to handle it.
When you romantically like someone, though? That's a whole different level we're talking about.
When you romantically like someone, you'd do anything for them, even if it's sometimes beyond your capabilities.
You might be drowning in your own sorrows, but their suffering always feels like a greater loss. So much so that you feel as though you'd bear their pains on top of your own, just so that they wouldn't have to.
You might find yourself terribly busy, but you always manage to make time for them. You might not know anything related to their interests, so despite being behind on just about everything else, you still somehow manage to learn about them.
Granted, all this is applicable to platonic love as well, but somehow, you felt that romantic love had a certain magical feel to it.
Maybe it was the influence of too many Disney movies, but who cares.
But in the same way, it was also amazing just how much you're not willing to do for someone who you don't like.
Again, in the romantic sense.
See, this is what you meant about the difference between platonic and romantic love. As far as life has worked out for you, when you romantically like someone, you'd find a way to give them the moon and when you just platonically like someone, you'd barely be willing to give them a polished pebble.
Or maybe, you just have shitty friends.
Correction, shitty friend.
You'd do anything for him, even it meant your own doom, but God forbid if the same applied to you.
Their messages were read as soon as they were delivered. Yours was left on delivered for a while.
They ask him for a favour, he'd do it. Granted, it would take a bit of convincing. But for you? Yeah, dream on.
Situations arose where you'd be partnered together. And more than half the time, you know he'd rather be paired with someone else. A certain someone else.
Unless your help was necessary, that is.
Somehow, you had the solutions for everyone's problems.
The advisor, the helper, the mother, the tutor, the therapist, the mentor.
It also sucked that you were an enigma for the rest. You somehow managed to stay on the top of your game despite taking on more and more.
But few knew of your disastrous tendency to procrastinate. Pair it with your perfectionistic attitude and it was a recipe for a disaster, the result being an extremely stressed, sleep deprived and caffeine high you.
You still pushed through, though.
Out of sheer spite and willpower, but still.
The fact was, that you were a busy person. And it's a universal truth that busy people are always stressed.
When you were a busy person with a stupid crush on a guy you know you've got zero chance with, it made your stress ten times worse.
It was as though the universe was against you.
The perfect guy, one who actually wasn't your type, but ended up redefining your idea of your ideal type to fit himself in.
The one guy who you knew, was not necessarily a bad match for you, personality wise anyways. Lord knows if there's anything else lurking beneath.
The one guy who managed to make your tough attitude melt into absolute nothing.
The one guy who managed to make you, who dreamt of lazy rainy evenings and warm tea , end up dreaming about the mushy stuff. Stuff you wouldn't normally dream about, not with a clear cut idea anyway, like your dates, hugs, talks, and even your marriage.
Especially your marriage.
The one guy who managed to break down a lot of your walls, the one guy you felt safe with, the one guy you knew you could trust openly, and you couldn't have him.
For reasons out of your control, you just weren't what he was looking for.
You were good enough to help him.
You were good enough to listen to his troubles.
You were good enough to be used as an excuse for when crap went sideways, because after all, you were trusted.
You were kind, after all. His words, not yours.
It's kind of embarassing, just how much you were willing to do for his sake, and just how little you expected him to do for you.
What you wanted were your thoughts, emotions and actions returned. What you received, was an entirely different matter.
He cared about her,worried about her, and for better or for worse, cried for her. To the extent that you sometimes wished you could stab yourself rather than to witness the scenes unfold.
If he was so capable of such emotions, so capable of freely expressing them, then why was it that he never even gave an ounce of it your way?
Were you worthy of the bare minimum effort? The bare minimum care?
Were you worth so little?
Was that it?
Was that why you were always, always one of the lowest of his priorities?
Maybe it was a you problem, maybe it had nothing to do with him.
But was it really?
Was it really your fault that he chose her over you, every single time?
Was it really your fault, when he made the choice to prioritise her needs over his own, and then come crying to you?
Was it really your fault, when he decided to play a dangerous game of chase with her, willingly allowing you to be the first hand witness to their game?
Was it really your fault, when despite you being there to help him out of his messes, especially regarding hers, he still went running to her for comfort?
They created the messes that you had to clean up.
They were the ones who made bad life choices and come running to you for advice.
They were the ones who were involved in the god forsaken game of cat and mouse, somehow dragging you into the middle of the mess.
They were the ones who forced you into a corner sometimes, with you being needed to cover for them, in the face of a lot of people.
They were the ones who had to be careful in their so-called games, but you were the one forced to enforce the said caution.
In their point of view, you were the villain in their story.
Always poking around, ruining a part of their fun.
But they also know that they were the ones who forced you into the role. That someone was needed to possess the common sense that they lacked. Of course, whether they listened to the said common sense was another matter entirely.
Granted, sometimes you enjoyed putting them in their places a bit too much.
Despite his devil may care attitude when it came to anyone other than her, you knew that he did care for you. You knew that he did consider you to be a friend. After all, you did spend a lot of time together for you to just be named an acquaintance.
It was just that his efforts towards you paled in comparison to those directed towards her.
It also didn't help that he trusted you enough that he knew you'd not betray him, or his feelings that even he himself was kind of oblivious about. It was obvious to you both that he had certain questionable feelings, definitely not of the platonic type, towards her but you knew him well enough to know he'd rather ignore them for the sake of his sanity. At the cost of your own, you admit.
You were the one he cried to about things related to her, you were the one who knew that he was actually completely whipped for her. Not that he was good at hiding it, just about everyone could see it. It was just that you were the only one who was aware of the extent of it.
Sometimes you were sick of playing the adult. Sometimes you wanted to shake him out of this stupid mess he called his feelings. Sometimes you wanted to scream at him, of how you wanted out.
Out of everything that you never wanted to get yourself into.
Sometimes, you wanted him to just get over himself and confess, after all, atleast then you didn't have to see him pine around for someone else.
The rest of the time you were content about being there for him, regardless of the toll it took on your emotions.
Something is better than nothing, right?
And while you were torturing yourself with their roundabout pining, you'd rather be the first to find out if they ever decided to commit. At least you could get the time to prepare your poor, poor heart for when you'd have to break the reality to it.
The same heart, that despite the torturous wait, still hoped that he'd look your way. That he'd find that what he was looking for all this while, was actually right next to him.
That your efforts would be rewarded.
They had to be, right?
No deity was cruel enough to let all those efforts, those feelings, those thoughts, those tears, be for nothing, right?
Your mind said otherwise, but your foolish heart stubbornly kept on believing.
You knew, heartbreak was the only outcome of this stupid situation that you'd gotten yourself into.
You just hoped that when the time came, they would be kind enough to break it cleanly into two, rather than shatter it completely into tiny pieces.
At least it would be easier to put it back together.
Hopefully, anyways.
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listen-to-the-inner-walrus · 7 months ago
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Hey hi hello to any fellow Brits reading this.
You probably know we have a general election coming up, which by the way, make sure you're registered to vote and have the qualifying photo ID.
And hey maybe you're a fence-sitter who doesn't want to vote for Labour for whatever reason.
Well, this post is giving you a reason to vote for Labour (or any party other than Tory if the candidate actually has a chance to win the seat).
You might have noticed that a lot of local and city councils have either gone bankrupt recently or are teetering on the edge, and that officially, it's the councils themselves that have been blamed, and uh yeah, that's horseshit.
The majority of a local council's funding comes from core grants given out by Westminster.
There's actually a limit on funding that local councils can raise via taxes, and like a whole lot of issues in the UK, that comes down to Margaret fucking Thatcher. It's also thanks to her that local councils don't have as much power over the local area as you'd ideally want them to.
(That's been eased a little since, but if a local council ain't got the money, they can't exercise that power.)
Suffice to say, local councils are very much dependent on funding from the central government.
And as you might imagine, 14 years of Tory government has just made it worse. From 2010 to 2020, that funding was cut by 40%.
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Wanna know why hundreds of libraries have closed down? Or why public services like bin collections are almost entirely ran by corporations? Or why bin collections are now once a fortnight rather than once a week? Or why council houses haven't been built? Or why public toilets are being closed? Or why you have to Tokyo Drift on the drive to work because it's been 2 years and no one's done shit about that goddamn pothole? Or why parks seem to now be maintained by Big Foot and by the way Big Foot has also declared bankruptcy? Or why local arts have had their budget of 17 paperclips and a whistle reduced down to 10 paperclips and no whistle? Or why your local museum is effectively a mausoleum?
It is all down to this.
Your local council runs on a shoestring budget because Tory rule has deprived local councils of the funding that they need.
If the Tories win in July, this problem is just gonna get worse and worse and worse.
More councils are going to go bankrupt; more public services are going to be cut or underfunded; more vulnerable kids are going to fall through the cracks; more local services will be privatised; more pressing issues will be ignored because there's no money left over to fix it.
You might not like the current Labour party, but hi hello welcome to harm reduction politics. Maybe a Labour government won't fix this, but another 5 years of Tory rule is going to break this country.
So for god's sake, get over yourself and your leftist purity bullshit, and just fucking vote for Labour as a vote against the Tories.
[Information for this post comes from this video by Tom Nicholas]
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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 5 months ago
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Clothes maketh the man, they say. And they do indeed make you look amazing. Would you be opposed to a suitor who isn't as fashionably conscious as you, sensei? If you wanted to play dress-up and choose my outfits each day too, I would- I mean, I'm sure any of your suitors wouldn't mind.
Just want to quickly clarify that the self-insert here is an adult referring to Crewel by his job title as a teacher, NOT a student referring to Crewel as their teacher ^^;;
If he doesn’t scare you, no evil thing will.
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“Even the least fashion conscious mutt has enough wits about them to know a well-put together man when they see him. You should commend yourself for at least recognizing that.”
Crewel’s smile was devilishly smug. Some, you suspected, would label it completely unprofessional. Your heartbeat quickened, pulse racing, agreeing with those sentiments.
“You’re curious about what I look for in love? Hmph, rather nosy of you to stick your head into such private affairs—but since I’m in a good mood today, I will kindly enlighten you.”
You swallowed, not aware that your body was arching forward in anticipation of his answer. “And that’s…?”
“I don’t have a preference one way or another.”
The words fell so nonchalantly from his lips, like bread crumbs scattered for the pigeons. Your spirits soared and hope flooded you.
“Of course, I would enjoy a companion who is familiar with fashion and its workings—but there is also a thrill unique to dote on a partner who lacks that sense for aesthetics. It opens up many opportunities to experiment and to help them find their style. I find it so rewarding to witness someone come into their own and to be a part of that journey.” Crewel paused, then clarified, “Permitted, of course, that said partner grants me their blessings to do so.
“Ideally, I would like a suitor who can match my pace and desire for adventure, regardless of how sharp or dull their fashion sense is. Alas, I’ve had no luck thus far. Regrettably, I am still single”.
“Really, sensei? You, single? I can’t imagine why you wouldn’t immediately get snatched up. I think…” you stopped, catching yourself in the midst of another mistake. “I mean, people must think you’re a great catch!”
“No one has been able to keep up with me.” Crewel’s icy gaze caused your heart to leap and lodge in your throat. “What do you think?”
“Wh-What?!” you squeaked. “Me?!”
“Yes, you.” The cold support of his crop guided the tilt of your head up to his eyes. Your mouth went dry, and you froze on the spot. “Might you know of someone who can satisfy me?”
“I… I don’t know,” you confessed dumbly.
“Come now, I counted two instances of stuttering earlier. The same error on two separate slips of the tongue. You’re not being entirely honest. You didn’t think I wouldn’t notice, did you?”
“M-Maybe…”
He inched closer, but remained coyly hovering over your lips. So close, yet so far.
“Bark for me, and you’ll be handsomely rewarded and praised,” came his sweet coaxing. “Wouldn’t you like that, pet?
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brujamala-aka-gigi · 7 months ago
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Mid Week Energy Check
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a pac reading made to provide insight into whats going on energetically around you or with you because sometimes it's not only about what you are responsible for, but also about the things that you cannot control yet influence your life.
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pile 1. pile 2. pile 3.
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images are from pinterest and dividers from @saradika-graphics
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•☽────✧˖°˖Number 1 ˖°˖✧────☾•
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Okay I see some drama, a lot of self indulgence and plenty of questionable economic decisions as a consequence. It seems like new beginnings are becoming more and more exciting, everything is new and shiny, there's no complaints so far, but I see some signs of a comedown from this high. Positivity might feel almost too forced and toxic, almost as if it's only there to hide and deceit you from more serious matters. There's nothing wrong with some excess on time to time I think, but don't get hooked on these feelings of intense and rapid happiness as in the long run, it won't serve your real purpose. Idealism at this moment seems to be more important than doing the actual work to pursue these ideals. Remain careful, as plenty of people who surround you are being lead to indulge in reckless behavior, not saying you shouldn't, just saying you should do it while being conscious of it. There will be a lot of talking, a lot of promises and many ideations of new ways to do the same, but don't get caught on that if you already see yourself deviating from your path. Expect some confrontational situations too, specially if you decide to call out anyone. This is a moment where your ability to find balance will be tested.
•☽────✧˖°˖Number 2 ˖°˖✧────☾•
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You might feel like you have been left alone and betrayed, maybe by others or maybe by yourself. But more important than that, is the fact that your own personal power won't be affected for the long run. Don't allow the effects of someone's lack of morality and self esteem stain your own values and the way you perceive others. No need to get paranoid and look for who is going to backstab you either, they will show themselves pretty quickly by leaving your side if you tap in with a calmer approach to any insecurity you have. Don't focus on concealing your perceived weaknesses, focus on nurturing your strengths and showcasing them gracefully only when you know they are celebrated genuinely. Conflict could be inescapable some times, don't take it as something that should be solved by the conventionally aggressive ways, but more so as an opportunity to take assertive and strategic approaches when possible. If you are forced to be in situations where it seems impossible to keep it together and remain calm, don't be afraid to walk away and handle it whenever your mind is clear, as it's likely people might be waiting for you to loose your cool or testing your patience.
•☽────✧˖°˖Number 3 ˖°˖✧────☾•
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As depressing as things might seem right now, the chance to move forward into safety will be granted as long as you are open to the idea of asking for the help of others, and letting them help you. Loneliness sometimes could be more of a feeling than a fact, you might not be able to see who is there to actually help you and guide you towards building stronger foundations to be at peace with yourself. It is also quite normal and understandable to feel isolated during periods of change. There's plenty for you to do in order to find fulfilment, but you will have to get in touch with a more creative side of you in order to find people who will accompany new journeys of emotional and spiritual development. You are not the type of person who has an easy time asking for others to be compassionate, but this moment might be nice to begin having compassion for yourself, understanding that it's impossible to keep a streak of overachievement forever, and you are not disappointing anyone by being tired or ill. Let those who celebrate your success, take care of you when that same success has made you tired.
•☽────✧˖°˖ THE END ˖°˖✧────☾•
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Hiii, its me, Gigi (the tarot reader).
I hope this PAC reading was useful. I'm still figuring out how to make the Post itself pretty but so far this looks kinda okay i guess.
I'm thinking about making a themed ask game sometime on this blog, most likely during the weekend because i do feel like reading tarots for other people again eventually. Last time i read tarots online it was on reddit but i was kinda doing that as a part time job.
ANYWAYS: I hope everyone is doing amazing this week or at least not doing too bad and working on getting better. I'm so thankful for all the notes on my other PAC readings <3 i genuinely was expecting to just end up rambling about tarot into the void of tumblr i guess, but this was a nice surprise <3
Much love, Gigi <3
(btw if you feel like following me I'm trying to post tarot related blogs and PACS as often as possible, for those who asked and I couldn't reply yet: I still don't know if I'm putting up a tarot services menu thing, but I'm sure I'll end up doing a tarot ask thing this weekend) (btw if you feel like following me I'm trying to post tarot related blogs and PACS as often as possible, for those who asked and I couldn't reply yet: I still don't know if I'm putting up a tarot services menu thing, but I'm sure I'll end up doing a tarot ask thing this weekend)
。 ゚ ꒰ঌ ✦MASTERPOST & PAID SERVICES໒꒱ ༘*.゚
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pigeonpeach · 1 year ago
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Diluc to me loves like a cat. His affection is earned not given. He won’t cozy up to anyone nor welcome people so easily. So it takes a genuine and sincere person to earn his trust and heart. And once you have it that’s when he is affectionate. Like a stray cat rehabilitated he seeks your body because its comforting to him. He’s protective over you because he knows how easily he could lose someone. He knows how quickly things can sour. Overtime he becomes more affectionate in a calm sense. The ideal cuddles for him is on the couch in front of the fireplace, or in-bed after a long day of work. But he also enjoys just having you around or being in the same room as him.
Kaeya is similar to Diluc although he takes more to trust someone. He has a tendency to push someone away when it comes to romantic relationships. He knows he’s in a tough spot and a relationship will complicate things. He already lost both families he’s had too could he really risk losing another? For Kaeay however he indulges more in affections simply because he’s still weak in the heart. He struggles to fully commit to his decisions regarding this. To get into his heart you would have to be a cunning thief and a charming one too. But even so he’d struggle to admit defeat or truly embrace you. Even though he wants nothing more than to melt into your hold. So he shows it by being in the same room and quality time. Keeping you at arm’s length as he knows if you touch him gently he’ll melt.
Itto loves like a dog. A dog that is hyper and destructive. He gets angry easily but he also isn’t violent. He just has a defensive side to him is all. But he loves to hug and be hugged. Although when it comes to someone special he loves it even more. To the point he acts like a koala stuck to their side at times. Although Itto is difficult to court because he’s so friendly and open that he doesn’t recognize when its done with romantic intent. But he’s very loyal and very kind. He will save up to get you a hairpin or trinket you want. He would gladly leap to your defense at any opportunity with a fierceness you would only see then. He is a very passionate man and if you’ve gotten this far then clearly you aren’t against it.
Thoma is kind of like a dog too but not like Itto. He is a bit shy when it comes to physical touch. He’s friendly otherwise though. He’s not unsocialable at all. But he shows a different side with you when you’re alone. He shows you only the fiercest of loyalty and devotion. Nothing less than the best for you. He loves through service and favors so when you return them he’s very happy.
Ayato however loves like a cat. He doesn’t show it. He doesn’t let you know directly. If he loves you its because you won’t know because he’ll spend awhile deciding what to do next. He has alot on his plate and alot of standards to uphold. But he still enjoys your company and support. As he comes up with a plan to go through with your relationship with the less chances of complications or interference he’s still not overtly touchy. His hand may rest on yours, or your hip gently. He’ll leave a kiss on your cheek and maybe on your lips. But cuddling is almost always done at night when he’s resting, in which he holds you close to him.
Lyney loves like a cat if the cat had social anxiety. When he loves someone he clings to them. He protects them and worries when they’re out of sight. He’ll never admit it though unless needed. But he’s quite willing to cuddle at any hour granted he has nothing else to do. He also just feels more relaxed and comfortable with you near.
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