almellow-crk

[almellow-crk]

I'm not ignoring the elephant in the room. I seriously thought this was an OC of someone but is official??? If so, then...

DARK CHOCO COOKIE WE FOUND YOUR MOTHER AHHHHHH

You CANNOT TELL ME YOU CAN'T SEE IT! The diamond and emo vibes runs in this family. EVEN THE SAME EYE IS COVERED?! DEVSIS I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE IMPLYING YOU CAN'T HIDE IT!!!

I know that Dark Cacao and First Choco are from different games but LOOK AT THEM!!!

They look aesthetically awesome together. There's nothing more fitting of a warrior king than a warrior queen. Their crowns even match. AND SHE LOOKS LIKE AMBUSH TYPE! LEGENDARY AMBUSH TYPE GAL IN THE ROOM WITH THE CHARGE ANCIENT KING! LIKE?????

FirstCacao is the name of this ship and this is a headcannon I'm ridding until I crash.

[almellow-crk]

Ever since I saw someone shipping Clotted Cream x Dark Cacao a little seed was planted on me that has been growing in my brain. Nope, I don't ship ClottedCacao... It's worse... I ship him with a cookie that I actually hate.

So this is how DarkCustard A.K.A GrumpyShip works:

•Mostly political until tension makes them make out messily

•Custard Cookie is very envious of Dark Cacao's physical state and handsomeness despite being +300 years old probably.

•Custard Cookie is actively trying to steal the Soul Jam, or at least have a shard for himself.

•Dark Cacao is fortunately oblivious to this last bit, if not, strawberry jam would have spilled a long time ago

•He finds this old politic man quite troublesome and irritable, but he has to bear with him for the sake of diplomacy

•He sometimes admires that clever head full of evil plans that benefits only Custard himself.

•All of this started because Custard proposed Clotted Cream for an arranged wedding with someone of high stand in the Dark Cacao Kingdom. Went there by himself after being rejected in a very direct way (by Dark Cacao nonetheless)

•They are both tsunderes at their finest. Which causes comical situations, tension, and drama easily avoided if they COMMUNICATED LIKE NORMAL COOKIES

•They make out on desks. It's a weird thing they have going on. I wanna write a fic about it so badlyyyyy

If You have questions about this very crackpair, please ask.

[almellow-crk]

Cute and handsome husband of mine. I need to get you a big star in My kingdom 🥹

Let him have fun he is bored. ( ´∀｀ )b jk

[almellow-crk]

Cult of the Burning Spice Wifes. I summon you 🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️

Extra Special Cookies - Mystic Flour Cookie vs. Burning Spice Cookie

Polls will last 24 hours each. Please reblog for a bigger sample size! Don't forget to have fun :)

[almellow-crk]

This. Please. The amount of people I see on Twitter calling Beast×Ancient problemtic and proship is insane. And I recently Lost more than 30 followers when I updated my BurningCheese fic. Am I sad? Nope, better unfollow and block than spread hate 😤

Aaaand I'm placing BitterSpice in the rooster as well. At least no one hates it so far 🫶

Got really bent out of shape reading someone somewhere griping about Beast x Ancient shipping (which doesn't usually happen to me but I'm in a shit mood today), so I slapped this together. Shout out to all my Beast x Ancient homies, keep on keeping on, haters mind your damn business

[almellow-crk]

No reason? NO REASON?! *Rolls up sleeves and ties up hair*

First of all, Burning Spice Cookie has a silly goofy aura all around him. Despite being a menace to society, he acts like a baby adult throwing a tantrum. And he looks SO ADORABLE every time! He looks like you can squish his face between your fingers. We need a plushie of him ASAP.

Second, LOOK AT HIS FACE:

His smile, his eyes, his eyelashes, his hair. Everything comes together to make a representation of cuteness and hotness. And he looks GOOD every time he smiles...

Yeha, even the creepy one. He looks like a 12 year old tried to draw his own creepypasta and I love it. It gives the creeps, but also not that much.

And lastly, his VOICE. And lines too, but god takes us if his VA gets replaced. It's TOO GOOD. All gruffy and deep, scratching your ear just right. And he's a fool, too. Almost wild taking the fact that he found Golden Cheese Cookie by smelling her and focusing on her presence. If he lowered the creepy tone two levels, I wish that was me instead of GC 😭.

Burning spice cookie: Hm? does the little cookie seek attention? Do they also seek Annihilation?

BS fans for no reason: I think you're kinda hot :3

[almellow-crk]

Btw. HHED -> "Hate Has Expiration Date". That's my MysticCacao Redemption AU. But maybe I can add BurningCheese too.

BitterSpice is Burning Spice/Dark Cacao

[almellow-crk]

While I take some days from writing (ElderCacaoWeek left me dry) I wanted to start rambling about other stuff related to my favorite ships. Specially, their fankids. This might be a long, long post. So please bear with me and enjoy this info dump. Imma separate them in form of AU's. Like:

Guardian Of Freedom AU (ElderCacao):

Dawn Dew Cookie: The adoptive daughter of Dark Cacao and Elder Faerie. They found her abbandoned in the woods of Beast-Yeast, alone and shrivering. Obviously a faerie, they both tried to look for her parents to no avail. In the end, they adopted her. Her wings are those of a dragon-fly, her dough is light lavender with traces of blue, she has long hair, soft green eyes, made into two low ponytails, and wears a light green dress. She does have a mouth (In human form means she's mute), so she uses her magic to write her thoughts in the air. She's very calmed, and quite cold with strangers. She practices her magic with Elder Faerie and trains to be the a future counselor of both kingdoms. She thinks very little of herself from the trauma of being abbandoned. She's still curious about her original family, but is glad with the one she has now.

Choco Moth Cookie: Children made with 50/50 dark cacao beans and faerie flowers. Has a moth ruffle and antennaes, and uses his wings as a cape (mimicking his parents), short dark hair with silver stripes on it, red eyes, dark dough, his wings have the patterns of leaves. No one knows from where or how this kid got his energy. It's a bundle of troubles whenever he goes, touched everything and asks everyone. There's no day where this kid isn't smiling. Even after growing up to be a mighty warrior, he still carries that optimistic innocence from his early years. He's very open to strangers, despite all of his family's dissaproval of his actions. Yet he welcomes most of them, besides, he has the strength to kick their asses if they misbehaves.

Hate Has Expiration Date AU (BurningCheese & MysticCacao) (@burningcheese-merchant)

Molten Sphinx Cookie: The daughter of Burning Spice Cookie and Golden Cheese Cookie, with a 100% of cheese boiled at extreme temperatures. Her dough is toasted yellow, short wild hair of a light yellow (her mane), orange eyes with sharp pupils, wears a short blouse and a short skirt, all with "eigyptian" gliphs. She has no antennaes, but a tail. She's the most S.P.O.I.L.E.D brat you'll ever meet. Everyone is below her (except her parents) and everyone must meet her expectations or else she throws a big tantrum (which means transforming into a big sphinx that throw boiling cheese as fire from her breath). At least, when she's an adult, her fumes step down a little and is more conscious of the destruction she's capable of. She's always being humbled down by her parents and her fiancé... Which is the next fankid.

Cacao Powder Cookie: The son of Dark Cacao Cookie and Mystic Flour Cookie, came to be from cacao beans ground into powder. He has a dark brown dough, with a darker shade for his middle lenght hair, white eyes, he wears a light dark armor with a coat covering his head. He is very quiet, composed and thinks rationally. Prefers to hide his emotions from others even if they mistake him for someone cold. He can turn himself into flour and surprise others, being stealth his main ability. He also has a "beast form", one only he and his mother know. He's a very loved prince too, but dislikes brats. He had a rivalry with Molten Sphinx before they decided to marry in the future (Guess who proposed first)

BitterSpice AU:

Spicy Bonbon Cookie: Made with a 70% of cacao bean and a 30% of spices. She has a dark dough, hides her small red antennaes on her long and wild hair, has red fiery eyes and she's always smiling. She wears a short red kimono with flames and shorts below it, and uses a katana as a staff to conjure dark flames. She's not a happy kid, despite her father showering her with love and attention. She's trying very hard to be a queen someday. And it includes don't letting her emotions show. Most of the time she poses as a frail princess only to get to know her enemy's weaknesses. The wild spices obeys her commands as well.

Korintje Cinnamon Cookie: Made entirely of this spice. Her dough is a very dark red covered in war tattoos, with long silky hair and small antennaes coming out of her, she wraps her chest with bandages and uses a long skirt. She is a wild one, some times even behaving like a wild animal due to how she was raised. Deep inside she's a cutie pie, but she has layers of hard dough that works a shield from both physical and mental attacks. She's dumb, very much so, but her insticts are sharp. She can also hunt pretty well on her own, mostly thanks to the fire powers she got from her papa. She can light up her fists on fire and actually run in the air lighting up her feets on fire.

[almellow-crk]

Oh my gosh it's literally so perfect! And sure I can tell you about my fankid 👉👈. In fact I could tell you about my MysticCacao, ElderCacao and BitterSpice fankids all together. Damn I need time to write down all the headcanons and ideas.

Xcuse me but I forgot very important questions about BS parenthood.

Does he teach the kids more things besides fighting? Is he a cool dad, stoic dad, protective dad or "over-the-moon" dad? Does he gives romantic advises to his son? Does he let his little beast princess play with boys her age? Does he dreads the day when she falls in love? (I have the headcannon over my own BurningCheese fankid that whatever girl/boyfriend she gets they need to AT LEAST be able to put up with him in battle)

Yay, more questions from my buddy Almellow 🗣️🔥🙌

Spice is 100% "over-the-moon dad" when they're babies. It's a pleasant surprise to many to see him so genuinely bubbly and smiley (not to Golden, though, she knows his soft side by now and is just happy to see him enjoying being a father). It's really cute. (I like the concept of hyper-masculine men being soft and loving towards their families ok)

As they grow up, he becomes a mix of all those dad modes, really. Mostly Cool Dad, because having your kids look at you like you're larger than life is just the best. (He's also not the best at disciplining them a lot of the time tbh. He wants to indulge their foolishness, it's more fun. He ends up acting like a child himself, wanting to have fun with his children. And then they all get chastised by Golden together after they break something lol)

He's less protective than you'd imagine him to be; not because he doesn't care, but because he really does have that much faith in their strength right from the get-go. It's actually Golden that's the overprotective one, at least when they're little; he had to coax her into letting them start their warrior training because she kept wanting to push it back and making excuses to do so. (She just can't bear the thought of her little ones getting hurt. She's lost so much already. If anything happened to her children, her little gems... Spice is the one to convince her to have faith in the kids and let them do things. Of course they'll get hurt, she and him get hurt all the time still and they're adults. But they'll be fine. They're tough. They have to nurture that toughness, not stifle it. They can't protect them forever... But they don't need to. The kids can stand on their own two feet. He's never doubted either of them for a second, for any reason. She shouldn't, either.) But make no mistake, Papa Bear is alive and well, just dormant. Only coming out when necessary. You want to see the old Burning Spice? You want to see the Beast of Destruction again? Hurt those kids. Harm a single hair on their heads. Make them cry, make them bleed. Knock on that devil's door enough and Burning Spice will answer it, and he will greet you with that axe of his and that fiery, seething hatred that once consumed his soul and helped burn away countless others'.

Burning Spice trying to talk to his son about love is a really amusing thought lol. I don't think he'd go out of his way to do it until he actually notices his son expressing some form of interest in someone, then it's honestly 50% Lighthearted Dad Mockery™️ and 50% Actually Trying to Teach My Son How to Be Smooth™️. Pepper Jack is having less than none of it, this is all embarrassing as hell, he doesn't want to hear a damn word from his father's mouth (he's a teenager by this point, what teen wants their dad to try to coach them on how to flirt lol). He tries to shut Spice down with sarcasm (Jack is the KING of backtalk and smartassery when he's a teenager, he's a damn menace) or just questioning his wisdom in general. He likes to bring up how annoying and gross Spice and Golden always are (unapologetic PDA constantly lol). He's already forced to witness what "love" and flirting look like, he doesn't need his father pouring salt in his wounds

(Jack once made the mistake of going "didn't you used to be weird and creepy towards Mother" once, as a sort of "gotcha". It made Spice genuinely upset and angry and he tore Jack a new one that lol. Jack felt bad (and kind of scared. Spice never really gets truly angry with the kids, but Jack has seen him get angry with others, and... Oh Lord) and apologized, promising he wouldn't say anything like that again. Things were cold and awkward between them for, like, a week. And then Spice got over it and went back to annoying his son like usual lol)

As for Matar Paneer... She's his princess. His little girl. His little flower. (He has nicknames for both of them lol. He really does love them very much.) She can play with who she wants, so long as she's happy and no harm comes to her (but again, he believes in her strength wholeheartedly and expects her to kick ass if trouble comes by). But... Oh. When she's old enough to date... Poor Spice, he's so miserable lol. He would unironically own and wear this shirt:

If Burning Spice is saying he'd gladly go back to prison for something, you best believe he's being sincere lol

It's Golden that has to step in here. Before, he was the one soothing her worries; now the roles are reversed. She needs Spice to understand that Paneer is a becoming a young woman and she has the right to pursue and be pursued if she wishes. It's ok to care and worry, but he has to let her live and grow. (She's her mother and has always been a girl's girl, she knows what's up and will always be 100% in Paneer's corner in this regard.) Spice once asked her to have more faith in them, now she's asking him to do the same. (And, of course, he can brutally murder whoever hurts Paneer, if that really does happen. But he'll have to wait his turn, because Golden already plans to do the same ☺️)

And yeah, of course Spice teaches them stuff besides fighting. He's happy to do so. He teaches them how to meditate (he gets back into that after he reforms. Jack picks it up a lot faster than Paneer does lol). He teaches them to make the traditional Wild Spice dishes he still remembers how to do himself (he lets the other spices teach them the rest). He... teaches them about history. About the Wild Spices' history, and about history in general. He sounds so... somber when he talks about things like that. It's strange to them. They're used to seeing him act lively and wear that sharp-toothed grin he's always got. But it must mean that what he's saying is really important, right? He wouldn't look and sound like that if he wasn't being serious, right?

[almellow-crk]

So regarding your crackpoly, I can just imagine Golden Cheese constantly flirting with Mystic Flour to see if she can get any reaction out of her to no avail. But the moment GC leaves Mystic just devolves into this flustered blushing mess on the floor. Idk I just see it happening and it’s hilarious.

That sounds so silly and funny 😆. Thinking about it, it makes sense. White Flour Cookie is used to the soft and direct words of Dark Cacao, and the playful jabs from Burning Spice. But she's not used to the constant flirting of Golden Cheese. She sure has a creative mind to say pretty things to her. And she's ALWAYS trying to see Mystic Flour blush and pick on her.

But the "pale goddess" is stronger than that. She recieves all compliments with a stoic face until Golden Cheese desists and retreats for the day. Then, once she is alone and remembers all the pretty things said to her, how the golden sovereign was looking at her, she can't help it and blushes horribly. The fluttering on her core goes so hard that that it almost hurts. She feels so ashamed because of her feelings, and yet she doesn't want Golden Cheese to stop flirting with her.

It's sooooo adorable! This headcanon now is canon.

[almellow-crk]

I saw a post about a relationship chart and so I'm gonna do mine with my crackpoly. BurningCheese+MysticCacao. These are their thoughts on one another:

MS: "He's devoid me of my volition. But he's helped me comprehend myself. I want to repay him..."

DC: "Her deeds can't be forgiven. But I see she's trying very hard to change. I want to help her"

BS: "Little thieving bird that stole my Soul Jam. The first one to defeat me in battle."

GC: "The bad bitch I pulled up by... Defeating him? I can tame him"

BS: "Booooooriiiiiing. But he can also defeat me... Interesting"

DC: "He is a menace. But fights with honor. I have conflicted feelings."

MF: "The one that defeated Burning Spice. And old (lover) friend of Dark Cacao.."

GC: "The Beast that's now Dark Cacao's girlfriend. They have a lot in common."

Black means apathy/nothing

Red means hate

Green means platonic feelings/friendship

Pink means romance/love

Purple means obssesion

Now some headcanons:

•Dark Cacao Cookie has prosopagnosia, which means he can't recognize faces and some emotions

•Mystic Flour Cookie has scars from the attack those greedy cookies inflicted on her when she was in her cocoon. She uses big and loose robes to cover them

•Burning Spice Cookie had a deathwish since he's lived for too long, found everything so boring and wanted everything to end. But he's been finding some joys in these heroes.

•Burning Cheese Cookie has a bit of a trauma with her wings being ripped off. She only lets Dark Cacao Cookie groom them now.

You can ask me for more headcanons or questions about how this poly works.

[almellow-crk]

I made another BitterSpice fic. For those who like this crackship. Come and get it.

Also, PLEAAAAASE mind the tags for the third Chapter. If you are a minor/don't like NSFW you are free to not read the third chapter.

[almellow-crk]

OK. Letting this out in the open for everyone who's interesed. If you have any questions about these ships, you can ask me. I'm also thinking on doing this with Burning Spice Cookie, he's too shippeable for his own good (Just as much as Dark Cacao)

The names are:

GoldenCacao/DarkCheese

Affocacao

HollyCacao/DarkBerry

ElderCacao

WatcherCacao

GrumpyShip

MysticCacao

PolyAncients

BitterSpice

[almellow-crk]

Most people have a way to define the relationship of their ships. Me as well. And I'm mostly a rarepair shipper, so hear me out on my take.

ElderCacao - Old Married Couple: They love quietly, small gestures of love are everything to them. They cuddle while reading a book and call eachother pet names without shame. They both have big responsibilities, but they always try to make time for their husband.

MysticCacao - Old couple that recently got married: They both also enjoy quiet time together and like small gestures. But Mystic Flour Cookie sometimes will do big gestures to show her love (like granting a big wish). He lays on her lap while he read poems while she braids his hair. They are a little ashamed of calling eachother's pet names in public. Maybe still a bit formal in private.

GoldenCacao - Young Spirit & Old Soul: She is the more active in the relationship, offers big gestures of love and calls him every pet name in the book. He is often flustered, tired and sometimes irritated (she irritates him for fun). In the private setting, however, he takes the lead. Small but significant gestures can fluster her. They lay down in bed and do whatever there in their free time. She is in constant need of affection and, truth be told, he likes to pamper her.

BurningCheese - Enemies to Lovers with Redemption Arc: He hurt her, a lot. But when he came back, she let him be. They worked from the scratch and gave eachother a chance. It's a work in process, but they have many things in common. There's a lot of falls before going up, lots of mistrust, but also an attraction that draws them close.

BitterSpice - Enemies to Lovers: They are opposites to eachother, they don't stand the other's ideals or way of living. But their personality, their little moments together are worth everything. They will make the other fall, if the time has to come. But while they wait, let them enjoy eachother until the final day.

DarkRock - A fan who happens to be a very important person and a rockstar: Sometimes one wishes they could live more normal lifes. To be there in every ocassion, to interact without making a scene about it. Maybe if he songs loud enough, his voice will find him

[almellow-crk]

Has something like this ever happened to you? It happened three times already to me. What's going on???

[almellow-crk]

Might as well post this here. Relationship Chart from the CRK characters

[almellow-crk]

Make out session that ended badly.

She was very cozy but then BS started to get whiny and needing some touch. But he had maybe too much and that made GC mad, turned him down and finished watching the movie in awkward silence

Netflix

(He's waiting for the right moment to make the "and chill" part happen)