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#and just for this month i dont have to worry about food
kurgy · 7 months
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no fucking joke getting hit by a car and offered a $1000 compensation has like. god okay i use my paycheck for "rent" and bills around the 1st of every month, and whatever remains (usually around 150-200 or so) to last the month which includes things like groceries, medications, travel fees, and appointment fees. i am always broke by the middle of the month. with an extra 1000 after using my paycheck on rent/bills i am currently: repairing my glasses, i now have the gift of sight. set an appointment for my GED test bc i now have the extra $100 to pay for it and the money for transportation to get there. im getting Mickey a bigger crate, as he currently uses Arlo's and she was much smaller than him. bought a binder, and paid off the last of some dental debt. this is the most financial relief ive ever felt in my fucking life. i need to get hit by cars more often its easier than getting job interviews
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bunnihearted · 4 months
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umm
#i havent had this bad anxiety in like 10 years wth#i have a dentist appt. and it's only a checkup thingy there will be no treatment done#it should be short and quick but im so anxious#im also anxious bc there's almost aways issues w financial aid and stuff 🙃#and a checkup is almost $100 which is 1/3 of my monthly budget 💀#so that's the main part that worries me. plus everyone in a dentist's office are so rude </3#i've tried asking her several times but she is so unclear... i hope i can get like an invoice/bill thing#but yeah everyone are so rude about it and it's just a whole ordeal#so im so anxious for this appt omg#im like shaking a little and my breath feels caught in my chest lol#i dont wanna go but if i dont go now i'll have to pay a fee which is also expensive so like#i have to go but i dont wanna i just wanna cryyyyyy#update: no i did not get an invoice#she was really rude too T-T acting like i was gonna run away and not pay#so yehh... $140 gone from my accountttt i did not think it would cost that much#so .. ummmm#i hope my financial aid worker will reply soon#and i mean omg i hope they will grant me financial aid#otherwise.... i wish i had neven gone wtffff#everyone told me it'd work and this was ok but like ???#i just hope she replies today or tmrw so i can know#if i have to have given up that mych money then#i wont be able to buy buss tickets to the animal park i wanna go to#or buy those clothes i was gnna buy#or have food the entire month lmao#but i just wanna know what im dealing w i hate not knowing
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sjonni33 · 1 year
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this is like. super embarrassing but yeah :/ i ripped my only pair of jeans today, which really sucks :( disability support has until nov 8 to decide over my case and until then i have 0 income except from the tiny bits i scrap by. uhm if anyone could like, spare a euro maybe? i'd be very grateful. i also have things listed in my shop, some are only 1 cent (or whatever you want to pay for it), i also have some stickers here, here and here. some prints here and here . shipping is as low as it can be <3 and i also offer discount codes (use RATASSES for 5% off!!) you can also commission me!!
i'd appreciate any help, even just in the form of sharing this post or reblogging/sharing my art!!
GOAL HAS BEEN REACHED!!!!!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!
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caffeinatedopossum · 2 years
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Anyway just an update, I kept going and the ed recovery is actually recovery-ing now 👍
#its been about... 8 months i think??#and things are just so much unspeakably better#like idk how to even put it into words#i can actually ENJOY things#i can actually be happy#i dont have to worry constantly about anything specific (i am still worying all the time but about many different things now :/#im not always nauseous or full or hungry or having severe stomach pain#i dont constantly have to use every ounce of mental and physical energy to distract myself from food and my ed#i fall asleep without having to push down ny hunger pains and i wake up happier knowing that it doesnt matter what i do next#i get a coffee and yes i still think twice about putting creamer in it and whipped cream on top but its easier#its still a conscious effort but its easier to make now that i know how much i have to lose#im weight restored for real this time and im not very worried about gaining more#but because of that this number im at now was so abstract in my mind as something i never thought i would get to#that its actually kind of a good thing?? like its like this weight is just outside of my ed#its easy to convince myself not to restrict because it wouldnt be an instant fix now that i weigh this much#it would take months and months of effort that would harm my body and my mind even more#and i just dont want tht#my joint pain is worse now that theyre holding so much more weight but im still hopeful about getting stronger#idk i just feel like ive gained so much more than weight. so many things that make it worth it
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raksh-writes · 10 months
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Gosh, Im itching so bad to buy the new Return to Moria game and get to play it myself. I’ve been watching in on a couple of streams, so I know it fairly well by now, and I also know that it'd be more fun wirh friends when Im definitely gonna be playing solo, but Im still So tempted. It just looks like a fun, chill survival game and it's connected to LotR and Im just skrmcljwndoenr. But I shouldn’t be spending more of my savings that necessery when Im not working and dunno when I'll be able to. Aghhhhh...
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deliciousmicroplastics · 11 months
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food acquired! food... please go down okay
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savethepinecones · 1 year
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so so sick of being yelled at for being depressed
#my sister offered to let me move in with her and her spouse and my mom insisted i stay here til the end of the year#because shes worried about my mental health#but she keeps freaking out whenever i have Symptoms#like yeah i dont have any energy so sometimes it takes an extra day or two to get chores done#ive made it clear that im trying my best but it never meets her standards so it doesnt matter#and she wont even fucking let me leave#i told her months ago i wouldnt be able to contribute to groceries much longer because i havent worked in six months and have no money#and she was super understanding at the time but as soon as i make any food requests when someone goes shopping she gets pissed at me#says im asking for too much when im keeping it to the bare minimum#and when my sister heard about this she offered to send me some grocery money and my mom got pissed about that too#i woke up to a huge paragraph of text lecturing me and she called it a 'roommate intervention' like she hasnt been very clear that#she doesnt consider us roommates#and she refuses to actually talk about it she just sends me messages freaking out about how im not good enough#and then she says if i respond shell freak out so shes refusing to have an actual discussion#like if shes so fucking sick of me being here she should just let me move jfc#i havent been able to eat at the table for years because its covered in a bunch of her shit but if i ask her to do something about that#shed just freak out#like how dare my living here inconvenience her in any way but also what i want doesnt matter at all#i dont have any of my stuff in the living room or dining room and i only have some stuff for coffee in the kitchen#and even then she moves that shit without checking with me beforehand#im doing everything i can to reduce my impact here and its still not fucking good enough#god im just so sick of living here#brb gotta go do a million chores while i have a migraine because otherwise there will be 'consequences'#like im a fucking child#and not a full grown adult whos dealing with serious mental health shit but still trying their best#god i want to cry rn im just so sick of this
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Ignore
#delete later#im so exhausted and stressed. theres such a lack of stability and its freaking me out SO much. im just constantly tense and waiting#for something terrible to happen. im starting to think that im not gonna get to go to the entomology thing ive been hoping#how i can't do things independently and i must have been forced into this abd rhen it'll get cruel towards my friends abd i cant#and my aunt is getting worse abd my parents are waiting for me to fail abd have to move bsck with them which i can't do bc#to go to for months bc ill probably need to use that time off for preparing to move. which sucks. ive been looking forward to it#i was letting myself get my hopes up and that was a mistake bc now im rly disappointed. im hoping i can go but honestly#idk if it'd be financially responsible. same with comic con. its in october so i can probably go but it might not be a financially#good idea. it just. the things i was counting on to be stable sources of joy are not stable anymore and that's making everything worse#and im tryinh to be positive but im so anxious. theres just so much. i need to think about packing and try to figure out#how im going to move 1-2 hours away. how am i going to coordinate with movers whilst having to get the train to meet them#im disabled and cabt help move things so only getting one person ro deliver worries me. movers arent insured to take ppl with them#theres just SO MUCH. And i can't view properties easily bc of work so im missing out on multiple places that ive been contacting#ppl about abd i couldnt line up enough for last week when i was off bc it was too short notice and i just. its TOO MUCH TOO MUCH#im overwhelmed. im trying to think of the food im gonna cook when im there ahd the armchair im gonna buy#im gonna eat so much fucking lamb and fish oh ny god im excited for THAT#i wany to just go for the shittiest place to at least have some stability and bc i still have yhat kernel of thought that i dont#deserve comfort but im trying to fight it bc i do. i deserve somewhere nice and its unfair on myself not to find somewhere nice#especially as ill be living alone. i cant go for places that have no natural light or are four stories up or are a mile away from the train#station bc that will wreck my mental health and i wont have ready access to socialising that can stabilise me. gotta be fair#to myself. but THATS PROVING REAL DIFFICULT#im doing good saving though so thats nice i guess. fuck me moving is expensive. moving when you've got zero kitchen supplies is#even more so. gonna be an Interesting first couple days in the new place.#it will be. very bad. they keep texting me asking about it and i have to be positive bc otherwise itll become a conversation about#field all that shit when im like this. i just cant. that requires so much fucking energy i dont have. and i wont move back#id frankly rather die. and trying to not say that and decline politely sucks. bc they get the look of#oh we're not good enough huh#and i can't field their fucking feelings. i either need a pause button or a fast forward. id take either one#so many of these tags ended up out of order whoops. but these arent meant to be read anyway#i just need to scream bc idk what else to do
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daandori · 9 months
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made the mistake of stepping on the scale today
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orcelito · 1 year
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The intersection of no easy food, no clean dishes, and Bad Mood is such a horrid thing
#speculation nation#negative/#sure whatever#me sitting at home just trying to work up the will to eat Something#bc i need to. but im not really hungry and i dont have easy food and i have no dishes for the food i do have#i havent gotten groceries bc my past 2 days off were spent at the hospital and then at a house visit#for my terminally ill uncle.#and it's been a month since my cat died and it's 223 aqi outside and i am just#no clean dishes too much trash gnats building up no energy to do shit#i did laundry and cleaned the cat stuff yesterday bc i Had To so at least i have clean clothes#but the rest of my apartment is a mess & i have to fucking Pack for my trip at the end of the week#i dont even know how to make sure i have a carry on bc ive never bought plane tickets myself bc i havent flown since i was 18#so im anxious about it and when im anxious about something i avoid it but i Cant keep avoiding it#and here i am tonight vague headache from the air pollution no energy to eat no energy to Shower#thinking of taking a shot to make it Shut Up for a bit & maybe then i can do things#im.... i wasnt planning on venting that much but. jesus fuckin christ y'all why's life gotta be this way#i just wanna have my fun happy hobbies and not worry about taking care of myself bc im shit at it anyways#i think i will take a shot. a compromise. i do one harmful thing to myself & then i do the good things for myself. idfk#and yes it's harmful bc i havent eaten and it's just straight vodka but ykno what i like it like that#i should probably shut up now. may or may not disappear for the rest of the night so i dont keep being a miserable fucking bastard online#ugh.#animal death ment/#disordered eating/#Close Enough. side effect of other things rather than a problem in and of itself but c'est la vie ya bitch
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alteredsilicone · 2 years
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me: ok, time to spend less money
me: fuck it, we ball
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stxrslut · 2 months
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cw : based on this, severe hunger, reader taking care of jj, mentions of struggles with money, kook!reader. this blurb obviously contains sensitive topics, I stress that this is in no way to make fun of or undermine these struggles, I know first hand how bad it can get. this is simply something I imagined, and wish to share.
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“jj you’re shakin’,” you note, looking up from your positon against his chest, “whats wrong?” you ask.
he looks down, eyes half lidded, “huh? didn’t catch that baby.” he murmurs, words almost slurred together. you furrow your eyebrows. soemthing is wrong.
“I said you’re shakin’,” you repeat, “you don’t look too good either.” you frown, sitting up now and reaching to feel his forehead. “when was the last time you ate?”you inquire, not quite expecting the answer.
he shrugs, “couple days ago.. dunno, maybe last week.” he murmurs, trying to lay back down. you can’t help but let out a little gasp.
“jj.. it’s thursday.”you stress, face all twisted in concern for your boyfriend who is clearly starving.
he frowns, “yeah, what about it?” he speaks, tone becoming irritable. though you can’t bring yourself to be mad, you’re just worried.
“if you haven’t eaten since last week that means its been at least four days,” you look down, he doesn’t seem even the slightest bit concerned for himself. “that isnt healthy jayj, why haven’t you eaten?”
“take a wild guess sweetheart,” he sarks, “or even better, take one look in the cupboards. you think i starve myself for fun?” he raises an eyebrow, letting out another irritated sigh when you don’t answer.
“I told you to just ask me if you needed money, you can’t just go without food!” you speak exasperatedly, he always does this, refuses to let you give him anything under the pretenses of not wanting to be a 'charity case'.
“don’t need your pity money, f’you wanna do all that fuss ‘bout what’s healthy n’ what’s not then you can leave, m’tired enough as it is.” he speaks, again in that annoyed spitting tone, but you can’t blame him. he must be uncomfortable.
you huff and stand up, knowing he won’t listen right now. you turn to leave, “ill see you later jj.” you speak before going out the door.
he might have thought ‘later’ meant in a few days, but no, you’re going back today. you just have some stuff you need to do first.
you know jj has the means to cook food, and you know he has the means to store it too. he just doesn’t have the actual food. your plan is to go and cook up batches of as much you can, stock up his freezer enough to last him if he needs to go without food again. maybe he won’t take your money, but you’re not going to let him refuse this.
once you’re home you spend hours cooking. you make easy comfort meals like soups and stews. you prepare pasta sauces and some pastry pies. a couple of sweet treats as well. once you’re done theres enough food to last him at least a month by itself.
you pack everything into containers, all ready to store in the freezer. you put a few portions of rice and sauce aside, knowing he’ll need to eat plenty tonight, and that it might take him a few tries to be able to keep it down.
you show up to his house late. when he opens the door to see you he huffs out of irritation, already guessing what it is, “told you not to go buyin’ me stuff.”
you frown, letting yourself in, “didn’t buy it, I made it.” you smile, placing the bags of food up on the counter. but he doesn’t speak. “c'mon jj,” you sigh, “you know I don’t think you’re a charity case, I just want you to be healthy.”
he sighs, “i know you do... just feels like too much y’know, like i dont deserve all this.” he looks down as he gestures towards the food, speaking quietly, self conciously.
“jj,” you frown, “this isn’t special treatment baby, this is basic human needs. of course you deserve food, everyone deserves food.” you come up to him to give him a hug. “don’t ever wanna hear you sayin’ you dont deserve this.”
jj chuckles shakily, finally returning your caring touch, “what would I ever do without you huh?”
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mrfoox · 2 years
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I... Hate that my mind is so solo/hyper focused in 90% of things I do/want to do
#miranda talking shit#I get obsessed with one snack/food and only want to eat that for a minimum of 3 months#I only want to spent time with one friend with a minimum of a couple of weeks...#I only want to play one game with a minimum of a month...#The friend one is the worst bc i do love all my friends. But sometimes i get hyper focused on one person and i just#Want to spend time with them. They get 90% of my social attention... And then when that period stops i can just disappear almost completely#For months bc im focusing on someone else... And if one doesnt know or understand that about me... They might feel hurt or worried#But its just like... No my mind just remembered how amazing this other friend is so now its their turn for all my attention...#Its why me and Linnéa usually work our friendship is hot and cold. We will talk almost every day for weeks and then we stop talking#For months and then we repeat the cycles usually. Idk if fabian understands that this is how i work#But we have done this dance too... Usually im the one to decide on it. Now we haven't really talked regularly for months#Before that we talked almost every day for ages. Then another month break and repeat. I try to be better and divide my attention but like..#In the grand scheme of things this is hkw it ends up. Many times friendships for me haven't worked out is usually bc of this...#I just am intense in intervals and then i go away for some time. Then i can and will pick up thay intensety if i feel the other person can#But usually people cant and they act distant and im like ah.... Most people dont work this way they want consistency socially um#Sorry its my add+asd brain who just makes things for me this way. I never want to hurt anyone and its never my feelings changing in the#Big picture. Its just i want to focus all my attention on one individual most of the time ...?
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unearthly-doting · 3 months
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yandere farmer
a/n: smth smth i Really like people w southern accents smth smth so here's a farmer. im not 100% satisfied w this one but it's been in my drafts for so long so here it is.
warnings: mdni, not proofread, yandere content, gn reader, male yandere, idk how cars work so, overprotective behavior, obsessive behavior, reader has hair in this sorry if u dont, murder, brief mention of vomit, non-con kissing, mild depictions of gore, choking, i think that's it??
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— maybe it's a bit cliché but life in the big city was exhausting, and all you wanted to do was get away from it all. it was a bit sudden, deciding you wanted to uproot your entire life and start somewhere new, but you knew that this is exactly what you needed.
— and it's not as if you weren't going into this blind. a friend of yours had a family vacation home in a small farm town that hadn't been used in years, and they were willing to let you stay there until you could find a place of your own.
— you had everything planned out. you had enough money on you for gas and food for the drive there, and you had already had some of your stuff shipped off to your new temporary home, so you didn't have to worry about leaving anything behind. you even kept a little extra money on you in case you needed to crash at a motel.
— the drive had started off fine. traffic wasn't too bad as you left the city, and there were no major setbacks until you were almost at your destination. when you were 20 miles out from the farmer town you'd be living in, your car just suddenly died on you. it still had gas in the tank, and there didn't seem to be anything wrong with the car itself, it just… died.
— what's worse is the fact that your phone had no service. you suppose that's not too shocking, considering how far out in the country you are, but it's a bit shocking, isn't it? you're not that educated on farming life or this small town, but surely they had modern technology, right?
— it's cliché, honestly. it felt like the start of some cheap slasher. or maybe a southern christmas romance movie. you're not quite sure which would be worse. the slasher, realistically. whatever, you're getting off track.
— the point is, your car is dead, your phone is useless, and it's starting to get dark. you could probably make it to that motel you saw a few miles back, but you didn't really feel comfortable leaving your car out here alone. not to mention you're not even sure if you have enough money on you to cover one night at a motel.
— the universe, in all her mercy, takes pity on you before you can get too upset over your plight, because not even 20 minutes after your car stops, a truck drives by. it's beat up, but it slows to a stop next to your car. the window rolls down, revealing the driver to be a man just a little older than you.
— he asked if you needed help, and offered to tow your car and drive you to town. you didn't have much choice but to agree, and the drive to town was… not as awkward as you thought it would be, actually.
— the man introduced himself as rigby shaw, a farmer that lives on the outskirts of town. you actually drove by his farm maybe 15 miles back, and he had been heading into town to pick up some medication for one of his dogs when he saw you pacing outside your car. in turn, you told him how you were moving into the small town because life in the city had been overwhelming.
— rigby didn't think you'd survive long outside of the city. city folk rarely ever strive in small, out of touch towns, away from modern technology. the small handful that made their way here always went back to the city not even three months into being here, so he didn't expect to see you last long either. you were nicer than most city folk, though.
— but you were determined to make a living out here, so when rigby dropped you off, you got to work immediately. you unpacked your stuff that had been there waiting for you, and in the morning, you got to work trying to fix your car. turns out, your fan belt had somehow come loose just enough that your car could no longer function. why? who knows, maybe the universe was in a silly mood.
— anyways, you settled into the small town life with relative ease, and rigby was very surprised when he returned to town a few weeks later, you were still there. the only thing you were struggling with was finding a job. maybe because he was fascinated by your determination, but rigby ended up offering you a job on his farm. he did need help taking care of the crops and feeding the animals there, but he mostly just wanted to learn more about you.
— you were a fast learner, and his dogs took to you fairly quickly. the cattle and horses were a little less trusting, though that was expected. he's sure they'll take to you soon enough, given how you respect their boundaries and go at their pace unlike his previous farmhands. you had no problem taking on any challenge rigby had set up for you, and maybe that's when he started finding himself thinking about you.
— if he's out in town while you're on the farm, he's worrying that you might get injured without him around. you can take care of yourself, but he can't help but worry. same for when you're in town while he's on the farm. you’re still an outsider there, and he knows that some of the townsfolk may try scaring you off. or maybe they'll try hurting you. or maybe you'll be completely fine and he's just overreacting.
— he starts hovering around you more often when you're on his farm, jumping in to help you whenever he thinks you might be struggling with something. you think he's just worried you might fuck his crops up or something, so you never really pay much mind to his behavior. it only struck you as odd when he insisted on helping you feed the dogs of all things. was he scared you would poison them? you wouldn't, obviously, so you don't know why he'd think that.
— his behavior only seems to escalate when you meet a guy in town one day and start going on casual dates with him. he was… shocked, when you asked to take the day off because of some guy. in the months that you've been living in town, you had never shown any interest in pursuing a romantic relationship with… anyone, truly. you had always seemed so dedicated to working on the farm and making a living for yourself, rigby had never even considered you could want anything other than that.
— at first, he felt disappointed. why would you prioritize dates with some guy when you could be working on the farm with him instead? it took him a bit to realize that disappointment he was feeling was jealousy. he hated when you'd step away from him to accept calls from your new boyfriend. he hated how you stopped eating lunch with him in favor of eating it with your boyfriend.
— your boyfriend wasn't even that great of a guy. rigby did some research on him–it's not stalking, he's just making sure it's safe for you to date this guy!–and he was not pleased with what he found. you could do so much better! you didn't understand why rigby was so interested in your boyfriend, always asking questions about how he treats you, if he's really what you're looking for in a relationship, if you actually loved him…
— you couldn't help but notice how touchy rigby has become as well, his hands always lingering on you far too long when he helps you with your work. you swear that you've heard him smell your hair a few times when he's close as well. he's been acting weird ever since you officially started dating your boyfriend. he's even going as far as to pile more work on top of you, leaving little free time for you to spend with your lover.
— it's gotten unbearable to the point where you decided you ultimately needed to find a new place to work. you liked rigby, he was a great guy with a kind heart, but his behavior was bordering on obsession and you didn't want to enable this behavior by ignoring it. your boyfriend agreed, and with his help, you were able to find a job at the local market in town.
— rigby was not pleased when he heard you on the phone with your lover, talking about how you'd tell him you were quitting after you finished work.
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You're not really sure what happened. One moment, you were on the phone with your boyfriend and then the next, you were being hit in the head and everything had gone dark. The sun had only just started setting when you had been knocked out, but it was completely dark outside when you had woken up.
Your head was pounding as you opened your eyes, looking around in an attempt to figure out what the hell had happened to you. You were still on the farm, that much you knew. The first thing that worried you was the fact that your hands were bound to a wooden post, leaving you unable to move without injuring yourself. Your phone was broken on the ground, so it was completely useless.
Did a trespasser knock you out? It's not the first person people have trespassed on the farm, trying to steal the horses or ‘save’ the animals Rigby had. You had assumed that to be the case, because… what else could have happened for you to be tied up like this?
“Rigby?!” You shout his name, wincing at the throbbing in your head as you did so. Was he okay? Was he hurt? What if something happened to him? What if–
Your panicked thoughts get put on pause when a light blinded you, and you shied away from it as best as you could as you tried to figure out its source. It seemed to be a flashlight, and you only realized who was holding it when they got closer.
For a moment, you relaxed at the sight of Rigby, relieved to see he was okay as he approached, though there was something off about him. Maybe it was the fact that he didn't seem injured, yet there was blood on his hands. Or maybe it was the… borderline crazed look in his eyes.
Something wasn't right.
“Rigby…?” You hesitantly called his name, your relief bleeding away into a reluctant unease, “Are you okay? What happened? Why am I tied up?”
His silence did little to help you as he set his flashlight down on the ground and started undoing your binds. Your wrists felt raw as you gently rubbed them once they were free, standing up while Rigby retrieved his flashlight.
“Rigby, what the hell is going on?” You ask, growing frustrated at being left in the dark. You had been knocked out and tied up, so you think you deserve some sort of explanation as to what had happened.
“I have a gift for you.” Rigby says, completely dodging your question as he grabbed your wrist and pulled you after him. His grip was tight, almost bruising as he dragged you along, ignoring you when you asked him to loosen his grip on you. He refused to answer any of your questions, and you were starting to get worried.
You've never been scared of Rigby. Sure, his behavior lately had been concerning, but you had no reason to be scared. But right now, you couldn't help but feel a bit afraid as he led you in the dark. Your concern only grew when you realized he was taking you to the barn the pigs were kept in.
“Will you just tell me what's going on?” Your words fall upon deaf ears as he passes the flashlight to you, motioning for you to take the lead as he opens the barn doors. You hesitate before shining the flashlight in the barn, slowly stepping forward.
Most of the pigs were sleeping in their own separate stalls, a few were watching you and Rigby with indifference as you both stepped deeper into the barn. But two things stood out to you. One, a handful of pigs were nowhere to be seen. Two, there was this weird… squelching sound coming from the back of the barn.
“It's just back there.” Rigby says, his breath hitting the back of your neck and causing you to jump. You hadn't even realized how close he had gotten. You scurry forward just to get some distance. Truthfully, you didn't want to see this ‘gift’ Rigby was talking about, but you knew that you couldn't turn back.
Deep down, you knew something horrible was about to happen. The squelching sound grew louder, and you could hear the sound of chewing along with it. When you looked back at Rigby for some sort of reassurance, he just had this strange smile on his face. It sent a chill down your spine.
And when you hesitantly looked in the last stall at the very back of the barn to see the source of the noise, your ‘gift’, you dropped the flashlight in horror and let out a scream as you stumbled back right into Rigby's arms.
On the ground was your boyfriend's corpse, his face nearly maimed beyond recognition as several pigs chewed at his body. You're lucky you're able to swallow the vomit in your throat as you try to get out of Rigby's hold, looking away from the horrific scene in front of you as you cried.
“Let go of me!” You claw at his arms, but he just holds you tightly against his chest, gently shushing you as he forces you to watch the pigs eat.
“Do you like it?” He asks, completely ignoring your horror, “It wasn't hard getting him to come here. I just told him you had an accident, and suddenly, he was on his way. Isn't that sweet? It's a shame he wasn't stronger… he never would've been able to protect you if someone tried hurting you. But I can, see? I can give you what you deserve.”
You weren't even listening to his deluded words, trying to squirm out of his hold, “You're a fucking monster.” You spit out, a sharp gasp being torn out of your mouth when he shoves you against the wall of the barn, his hand around your throat as he lightly squeezes. A subtle threat, one that had you shutting up.
“I expect some fucking gratitude, you ungrateful brat.” Rigby’s voice is cold, his anger had never been something you'd ever been on the receiving end of, “I did this for you. For us. You should be thanking me.” His hand on your throat tightens, squeezing the air out of your lungs, his gaze hard as he stares at you expectantly.
Desperate for air, you're barely able to wheeze out a small, “Thank you.”
As black spots start to fill your vision, Rigby removes his hand from your neck, and you're able to breathe again. His anger was gone, replaced with delighted satisfaction.
“Of course, darlin’.” He sweetly says, a bloodied hand coming up to gently wipe the tears off your face, “I'd do anything for you. I can provide for you, so just be good for me in return, okay?”
And as he pulls you into a kiss, his lips pressing against yours with a heated desperation, you find yourself missing the city for the first time since you left it.
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astuteology · 6 months
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♤Another astrological observations♤
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Ps: i am still learning and astrology is a forever learning subject. It may or may not be relatable. :)
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•° solar return observations °•
Solar return 7th house- the sign in your 7th house of your solar return will probably be the one to backbitch/backstab you👀. For eg- having Sagittarius descendant, people with sag sun or prominent sag placements are likely going to do you very wrong. 😊🪰
SR Uranus in 1st- an apparent change in the appearance of the individual. Dying their hair, a haircut, change in the makeup looks, joining the gym, having skincare routine, etc.🦄😋
SR Jupiter in the 12th- spiritual enlightenment🧞‍♂️. Could be the time youre very sensitive to the energies of the people. Seeing spirits frequently👻. (Hack- wear black tourmaline for the shield against negative energies). This is the time when everything will be clear to you, the intentions of the people, their traits, their habits, their trauma🤠 (your's aswell).👽
SR moon in the 6th- sensitive to other people's words, their criticism, etc. Take care of your health at this time please. Eating disorder. Very moody. Might eat spicy food alot. 🥲
SR neptune in the 11th- the friends, peers, acquaintances you have, you'll be getting to know about them more clearly👀 in negative way ofcourse, Alot of deceiving, lying, manipulation, taking behind your back, cheating, blah blah blah.😗🪓🩸
SR Saturn in the 11th- yes you ARE GOING TO LOSE FRIENDS, even the closest friend you have🙃. I honestly LOVE Saturn whatever house it's in because it fucking slaps you so hard that you begin to see everyfuckingthing very clearly🤪😶‍🌫️. Its going to be hard for you but dont worry youre better of with little to no friends than lying poopies.💩💝
SR venus in the 1st- you're going to be every 2nd person's crush, like literally fr. You're guna appear more ethereal and soft to the other person, maybe innocent too which will make the other person wAnT tO pRoTeCt YoU aT aLL cOsT🥺 because to them you're vulnerable to the world😐😐😐😐.
SR mars in the 3rd- alot of fights with your siblings/ cousins/ childhood friends. Way of communication may be direct, more straight forward, could even be a little cruel ehe🤭. Probably guna put people in their fucking place. Humbling down people alot.💅
SR aquarius ascendant- very detached from the emotions. Its like giving yourself 5 minutes to feel everything then after that, stop feeling completely until the next year. ORRR.... you could be in your feelings for the 1st or last 6 months then the rest of the year? Nonchalant🧘(could be opposite).Your mood for the year: 'eehh'😐 'Okhay'😐 'Yeah'😐 'Mhm'😐 'No'😐 'Don't'😐 'Shut up'😐 'Can you leave me alone'😐 'Youre so annoying'😐 'Can you stop'😐 'Omg youre a fucking fe/male'😐. Might be the year you'll question your sexuality.
SR lilith in the 4th- watch your closest ones/ own family turn against you just cuz you stood up against their negativity and manipulation. Oof!! 😍😍😍THE BEST YEAR EVERRR!!!🥳🤯💋 Sarcasm intented. Theyre going to spread false rumors about you. Play victim card in the situations they create. Its like creating a problem for you to solve.🧍🏻‍♀️🧍‍♂️🗣
SR venus in the 5th- will attract ALOT of love interests👀🔥🧲 but since its a 5th house, it wont be long lasting. For girls: this placement can make guys crazily obsessed with you for monthsss beware as they can note down your every move (3 of my friends had this and the guys ended up following them home, it was scary). For guys: this can make girls want to be with you just bcz everyone wants you, youre the center of everyone's attention (cheating could be involved too👀)
SR Sun/mars/pluto in the 6th- take care of your health because; sun: can make you vulnerable to the evil eyes which could lead you to falling sick frequently🪰🧿. Mars: your anger, impulsiveness, all the othet martian feelings, can make you sick as well, so beware of your surroundings and your mental health🎭. Pluto: the jealousy with this can turn physical real quick✂️. And all three: JUST. TAKE. CARE. 😀 🫠
SR moon in the 7th- sweeeeettttt cravings will ⬆️⬆️. Feeling very joyful for no reason🌞. Feeling 'Butterfly in the stomach' frequently🦋. Lovesick🐕‍🦺.
SR mercury in the 5th- you could hear from a friend that a lot of "certain someone's" like you😊. Love to talk about your interests and hobbies. Involvement in frequent get-togethers, random friends meet💁🏻‍♀️.
SR saturn in the 8th- might deal with your own fears. Could be a triggering year for you🧘.
SR nn in the 9th/12th- frequent travels🗺. Might overthink alot about the world and the life (a lot of what's, why's, who's, how's, etc).
Wherever SR Jupiter is, you're expanding that. Like for eg- 5th house: your interests, might pursue your hobbies, or if you already are, lets say an artist, youll expand your art, the type of drawings you make. 2nd house: your business. Money. Self esteem. Confidence. 11th house: your friend circle, electronics, etc.
SR saturn/neptune in the 8th- out of nowhere setbacks, betrayal, cheating, etc are possible. BUT you WILL receive a news about CERTAIN SOMEONE which will make you question them🤫. Or youll get to know some f-ed up family secrets😗.
SR Scorpio ascendant- watch people getting intimated💁🏻‍♀️. You're guna hear rumorssss about youuu👀🤫. Random guys/girls approaching you with the intention of "hUmBLiNg YoU dOwN" 🗣💩 (ykwim).
SR venus in the 7th- randomly, out of nowhere, falling for someone veryyyy haaarrrdd🕳🚶🏻‍♀️.This usually happens within 3-5 months after your birthday.
Whereas... 😗
SR neptune/saturn in the 7th- showing you why you shouldn't have😊. (If i were you i wouldn't give them a 2nd chance, many people don't deserve it🧘. Pay attention if its their "traits" or "company" either way, you shouldn't forgive them because "traits" are self explanatory, they wont ever change, and if its the "company" affecting them then its guna be tiring for you and trust me you wouldn't want a person who is gullible🧍🏻‍♀️).
SR Uranus anywhere- sudden. Anything sudden. For the better or the worse🎭. Out of nowhere. Unexpected👀. The ex you didn't see? Here s/he comes💩. Job offer🌞. Oldest friend contacting you🏌‍♂️.realization about career path. Your personality, your looks. Family dynamics. Home, etc.
SR lilith/neptune in the 1st/5th/7th/8th/10th/11th- people be copying youuuu i seeee👀. Your secret enemies wanting to be you👀. Copying your style, outfit, skincare. Haircare, haircut, your hobbies, even your career path🤾‍♀️. Amd they'll still have the audacity to TELL YOU how you should be doing *insert what you're good at* 🧍🏻‍♀️🧍‍♂️like?????. Jealousy runs deeeppp 😶‍🌫️.
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Thank you for reading :) <3
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the meeting the parents scoups fic is adorable! DONT LEAVE MEE HANGING I NEED A CRUISE PART
[bonus maybe meeting his brother cause is it just me or is meeting the siblings the most nerve-wracking part?]
YES FOR PART 2! tbh, I don't have any siblings so I don't completely get the dynamic of that relationship, so I'm not sure how authentically I'd be able to write it :(
here's meet the parents part 2 ! Hope you like it!
Im open for requests!
Meet the Parents Part 2 (Seungcheol x reader)
Seventeen Masterlist <3 Meet the Parents Part 1
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It was 2 months after you meeting his parents for the first time. You had finally scored the discount from your aunt and immediately had informed Seungcheol's mom about the cruise. She in turn invited you and Seungcheol to go with them, it was an offer you couldn't refuse.
It was exciting and also very nerve wracking. Although his mom was friendly with you now, she would text you pictures from her cruise trip you spoke about last dinner. It was still the second time you were seeing them in person. You just hoped it was normal and not awkward. Heck you even prayed to god, that never happens.
"You're biting your lip, stop it" Seungcheol points out.
It's a bad habit you had developed, you were trying to get rid of it, you asked cheol to point it out for you every time you did, and he happily obliged.
"Don't be scared" he says and you thank him with a smile.
You were on the way to high tea on the cruise. You decided to meet directly for a high tea. You briefly said hi when you got on the cruise.
You made your way to the dining area and saw a shrimp snack table. Not just a plate, an entire table.
“Shrimp!” You squeal and walk a tad bit faster towards the dining area.
“It’s wet be care-”
Before he could finish the sentence or catch you, you have slipped and lost balance.
You squeal and fell straight down.
You were now sitting in your cabin, holding your sprained wrist. Cheol had got you a plate of food you quite literally fell for, a plate of shrimp appetisers.
"How did you manage to do this!" a worried voice echoes as cheol's mother walks into the cabin.
"I'm sorry I've ruined high tea" you say guilt wrapping your brain.
"It's not your fault, accidents happen, we're just worried about you" his dad says and his mom examines the huge bandage around your hand.
"Does it hurt a lot?" she asks making eye contact, as your wrist lies in her hand, every so lightly, like she'd hurt you If she held on too tightly.
"You should've been careful!" you get scolded, you liked it. No one cared for you enough to ever scold you. Even getting scolded felt good.
You just nod, partially embarrassed. Your hair kept falling on your face during this conversation and you try to tie it up with your one working hand, practically impossible for you unless you do some neck gymnastics.
"Let me help you" she says softly and takes the clip from you and sits on the bed next to you. She combs her hand through your hair and sets it in place to put the clutch.
"I've always wanted a daughter to do her hair and put her in cute dress, instead I got two boys who cling to me" she jokes.
Seungcheol whines from the chair. "You put me in dresses! isn't that enough living your dream"
The memory flashes in his mother's eyes and she laughs. "You made a cute girl, I put bows in your hair, until you grew up and wanted to be like your older brother" she playfully sneers at him.
She plays with your hair a little longer, fixing it to perfection. You don't remember the last time your mom did this for you, this moment made you wonder if your mom ever did this for you at all.
You shrug all that when his mom voice cuts through.
"You have very pretty hair" you smile.
You take your free hand to hold the plate of food cheol had got you to eat something, the shrimp looked delicious.
You saw Cheol get out of his seat to help you but his mom beat him to it cause she was closer anyway.
She quite literally fed you and all you could do was be grateful saying thank you after every bite, you didn't even like chives, but you ate them, without complains.
His mom had definitely taken a liking towards you and you could see that, it made you feel good. As if you were finally a part of something, a part of a family where you belonged.
----
“How are you feeling?” His dad asks you.
You and cheol were out with them for dinner, you rested all afternoon with some painkillers that knocked you out for a couple of hours.
“Much better” you respond smiling.
“Im glad, be careful my child” his mom says and you turn red.
You end up getting a fun dinner and and Cheol insisted on getting on the dance floor and dancing. You happily obliged.
He sways you both to beat. You put your injured hand on his chest carefully, he puts his own hand over it softly. You could feel his hand on your bare back, it sends chills down your spine. He looked handsome. You wondered how you got this lucky. He’s perfect for you.
"Are you stealing my mother?" He asks you, his voice faking disbelief.
"She's literally the best, so yes"
"Don't you dare, Im already sharing her with my brother" he warns you playfully and sulks at the same time.
"I'm glad my parents love someone I love" he adds, tucking a hair behind your ears and pecking your forehead.
"I'm glad people that mean the most to you, like me" you say, fully relieved.
"Like you? They love you" he squished your cheeks.
"Im scared to push my luck" you smile.
Silence took over and you were both just looking at each other with love.
“What are you looking at?”
“Your handsome face”
“Why thank you, Im blinded by your beauty too”
“Why thank you kind sir” you chuckle at the odd compliment.
“Im sorry about high tea” you tell him.
“Don’t be, I just want you safe”
“Luckily, I’m the safest here” you say, cuddling into his chest. You could feel him giggle.
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