#and joel being the one
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minecraftbookshelf · 1 year ago
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Not that I think this will actually happen but I think it would Heal Something if both Joel and Bdubs went red and still refused to turn on Pearl.
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aceofstars121 · 6 months ago
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I made the guys in the style of the cursed etho skizz built
Bonuses!
Cursed skizz (my first attempt)
Etho but if I built him the same way I built the other guys if that makes sense
Me for fun (:
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raticalshoez · 4 months ago
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Fiercely loyal girls when the narrative hits them and alter their relationship with their alliances forever
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fantasykiri5 · 6 months ago
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Who’re they heckling… (probably Etho)
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talaok · 1 year ago
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A new lesson
Pairing: step-dad!Joel miller x step-daughter!reader
Summary: Your step-dad generously offers to give you another lesson. (this is part of a series but can be read alone)
Warnings: step-incest, manipulation, straight-out lying, hence dub-con, Perv!Joel, predatory behavior, very very naive and innocent reader |Smut| oral sex ( m receiving), face-fucking, dacryphilia, and daddy-kink. And please for the love of god read the warnings and just scroll if you don’t like what you see.
a/n: @thesummerpetrichor I believe we had an agreement…
Pt. 1 - Pt. 2 - Pt. 3 - Pt. 4
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He'd been obsessively looking at those photos he'd taken of you yesterday every time he could.
It didn't matter if he was at work, or if his wife was right next to him, he needed to take a look at that pretty pussy of yours or he felt like he was gonna go crazy.
He'd always known that once he got a taste of it, it would never be enough, and yesterday just proved him right.
He was so lost in the picture on his screen that your mom's voice startled him.
"what have you been doing on there for 20 minutes?"
Shit
"nothing" he shrugged, quickly switching apps "Just work stuff"
"you sure?" she raised a brow, smiling "There's not another woman I should be worried about?" she joked
Only your daughter
"never" he forced a grin, leaning closer to her on the couch to kiss her.
"good" she nodded, patting his thigh "I'll go shower more serenely then"
He watched as she stood from the couch, and waited until he heard the water running before he quickly made his way to the only place he'd been wanting to go since he came home: your room.
His dick was already hard, so what better time for another lesson?
"Oh, hi daddy" you smiled at him as he closed the door behind him, noticing how he locked it.
You were sitting on your pink bed, resting your back against the headboard while you read a book. A big t-shirt draped over your body and some soft pajama shorts underneath it.
"hi sweetheart" he smirked
"do you need something?"
"no baby, but it's time for another lesson"
He watched you frown in confusion
"but mom's home... and you said you couldn't help me when mom was home"
"I know what I said" he nodded annoyed at your sudden need to ask questions "but I was feeling generous and I wanted to help you now." he explained "If you don't want my help anymore you can just say s-"
And just as he'd predicted, you interrupted him before he could even finish that sentence.
"No, of course I want your help daddy"
"good" he nodded "then come here"
You obliged immediately, setting your book to the side on the bed and standing up to walk over to him.
"take off your shirt" he said once you were right before him.
You did as told, observing his eyes fall to your naked tits, just for his hands to reach them, feeling them as his thumbs played with your perked nipples.
"you've got pretty tits sweetheart"
"t-thank you" you blushed, your eyes falling to where he was touching you.
"Today is gonna be different from last time" he explained softly 
"ok" you murmured
Oh how he loved how small your voice got every time
"get on your knees"
Once again, you obeyed.
He looked even bigger from down there, and you felt even smaller.
"now undo my belt and lower my pants"
You swallowed nervously, looking up at him
"go on" he urged
So you did. You took care of his belt, then of his zipper, and then as he said, you lowered his jeans, and they fell, pooling at his feet.
What was now in front of you, was the perfectly clear shape of his dick, hidden only by a pair of thin black boxers.
"take them off"
your fingers seeped through the waistband, and slowly, you took them off for him.
You still hadn't gotten used to it. He was just so big,
how did all of that even fit inside of me?
no wonder I'm sore.
"w-what do I do?" you asked, looking up at him with those innocent eyes of yours.
"spit on your hand, and then just like last time, wrap it around my cock"
You hesitated a moment, before bringing your hand to your lips and summoning some spit from your dry mouth.
You were so nervous your hand was almost shaking as it wrapped around him, and it might have had something to do with his expecting eyes looking down on you.
Your thumb didn't even reach the rest of your fingers, that's how fucking thick he was.
"up and down, like last time" he instructed, clearly getting impatient.
"l-like this?" you asked, gently stroking him.
"just like that baby" he breathed, his hips pushing forward a bit "Now use your mouth"
You tried to swallow some of the sand in your mouth, but all you could think of was how fucking huge he was and how he was never ever gonna fit, and how he was gonna be disappointed of you and-
"We don't have all day sweetie" he murmured 
"I-I'm sorry daddy, it's just that... I- I don't know if it's gonna fit"
He stifled a smile as he answered
"we're gonna make it fit sugar, don't you worry your pretty little head about it" he cooed, seeing some of the concern melt from your eyes "Now be good and suck my cock"
You nodded obediently, and just as he'd taught you last time, you widened your mouth and took him in, or better, you took his tip in.
"you can do better than that" he tilted his head, "go deeper"
So you did, you forced him more and more into your mouth until it was halfway in.
Your hands on his thighs balled into fists, and your face started to redden.
"breathe through your nose" he instructed, watching you do it "and hollow your cheeks for me, baby"
You did as told, and a loud breath fled his mouth.
"good girl" he whispered, making that weird feeling in your belly rise all over again.
"now- just like you did with your hand, go up and down"
Your mouth felt already incredibly full, but somehow, as you started bobbing your head, more and more of him started fitting inside of it.
"that's it" he groaned, his right hand moving some hair out of your face and fisting them in a makeshift bun at the back of your head.
You internally smiled at that, and you got so focused on trying to do even better that your eyes fell down to his groin.
"No look at me" he corrected you, using his leverage on your head to pull it back so your eyes were on his again "You look at me when you're sucking my cock"
You blinked in surprise, but before you could say anything he'd told you to "go on" and so of course, you did.
Up and down 
up and down
always fitting a tad more
"fuck" he murmured, trying to remind himself that he couldn't show you just how good you were making him feel, but fuck but that was a whole lot
Either he was an amazing teacher, or you were a natural. 
"A-am I doing good?" you asked, leaning away, while you tried to catch your breath.
"yeah baby" he breathed, seeing that need for reassurance in your iris
"really?" your eyes lighted up, as a huge smile spread on your lips
"yeah" he cut it short "but sweetie... less talking and more sucking"
"o-oh, right" You let out a soft laugh, slowly taking him back in, but before you could get back to your old rhythm, his hand at the back of your head, had pushed his cock all the way down your throat, making you gag and cough like a maniac.
Your eyes watered, and tears started flowing from your eyes as you looked up at him, confused and a little scared
But all you could see in his eyes was fun.
You looked so pretty choking on his cock...
"it's ok" he murmured, gripping your hair to guide your head up and down like he wanted, "just-" he forced you to gag on him again.
You looked up at him pleadingly as your hands tried to reach where he was holding your hair to try and get him to let go of you without succeding.
"fuck, that's good" he groaned, finally letting you go
You broke into a coughing fit, trying to get your lungs to work normally again, but he didn't even budge, actually, he was sadistically enjoying it.
"wh-why did you do that daddy?" you whimpered, sniffling
"oh baby" he murmured, "If you want Chad to make love to you you're gonna have to learn how to do that" he explained, stroking your wet cheek " Plus, I did it to prepare you for what we're gonna do next"
Your eyes widened slightly
"w-what are we gonna do?"
A grin pulled at his lips
"Now, darlin'," he spoke, "I'm gonna fuck that pretty throat of yours"
"Wha- I"
"shh" he shushed you, placing his thumb on your lips "it's ok" he calmed you down "Relax baby, I'm here, I'm only trying to help you"
"I know but-"
"But what?" he asked, frowning as he looked down at you.
"nothing" you immediately took it back.
"that's right" he nodded "Now open your mouth and stick your tongue out f'me"
And the moment you did... the moment you did, he realized he wasn't gonna last long
"You gotta stay like that ok, you don't wanna hurt daddy, do you?"
"uh-uh" you shook your head, your mouth still open 
"such a good girl" he smiled, before gently, (a gentleness that was gonna be forgotten in seconds) he placed a hand on the back of your head, and trusted his hips forward, making you gag softly.
"shit" he breathed, and then, as if he got possessed, he started going faster, and then faster, and then faster again until rivers were flowing from your eyes and the room filled with the filthy noise of your abused thoat.
"f-fuck" he groaned, forcing your head all the way down so that your nose was almost touching his crotch "Look at you... so fucking pretty like this"
You only had the time to remind yourself to breathe through your nose, and then he was already starting to push in and out of your mouth just like he'd done last time but down there.
You enjoyed seeing him breathe heavily and groan in pleasure because of you, so much so that your panties were drenched... but god it was hard to do as he asked.
"choking on my cock like a good little girl" he hissed, his hold on your head only tightening and his thrusts only fastening "Being so good f'me" he groaned "Always so good"
Your jaw was starting to hurt too much, and you just needed a little break, but the moment you tried to speak he stopped you.
"not now" he spoke, his voice hoarse and filled with pleasure "I'm about to cum baby" he explained, "you know what that means?"
You shook your head, eyes wider than ever.
"it means I'm gonna cum in your mouth" he breathed "and you're gonna swallow every single drop of what I give you," 
His chest was heaving, and you didn't think you'd ever seen him that blissed out
"but not until I say so, ok?"
"mh-mh" you hummed around his cock
"attagirl" he bit down his lower lips, trying to keep his grunts and groans down as much as he could "such a good, fucking, girl- fuck"
And looking down at you, ruined completely for him, he couldn't help but let go, filling your mouth up, until you were choking on the liquid and his cock combined.
He pulled out, his dick softening and his breathing calming down.
"show me" he ordered,
You widened your mouth even more and showed off its contents to him 
His hand grubbed your chin, tilting your head up more to him, as his fingers kept your mouth open.
His eyes were fully dark with lust as he grinned, stroking your bottom lip.
"Now swallow"
Your eyes never left his as you ingested his salty spent, and the moment you did, his dick threatened to harden again.
Fuck, he should have taken a picture
"good girl, now c'mere" he gestured, inviting you to stand up, which you gladly agreed to
Your knees were killing you.
He tucked himself back into his boxers and put on his pants again, while you stumbled to your feet.
"H-how did I do?" you asked, as he busied his thumb by caressing your pretty lips.
They were all puffy, just like his eyes, and the pleasure he got knowing that he was the reason for it, was unimaginable.
"you did good" he said, making you smile "But not that good" he cooed, lying through his teeth. he honestly didn't think he'd ever come that hard from just a blowjob, " If you want Chad to want to do this, you're gonna have to get better at it"
"o-oh"
"yeah" he winced, faux empathy tracing his tone "you really need some practice" he explained "so I think it's best if we do this once a day at least"
Your eyes widened in surprise
"Once a day?"
"at least" 
"y-you'd do that for me?"
"Of course baby" he smiled, before leaving a quick kiss on your lips "what kind of step dad would i be if i didn't help you?"
And at that, you couldn't help but hug him, intertwining your hands behind his neck.
"How are you feeling?" he murmured to your ear, kissing you neck, and forcing a whimper out of your mouth.
"M-my throat's a little sore"
He smirked, softly chuckling "That's normal sweetie, but what I meant was..." he explained, his right hand traveling lower on your body until he was cupping your clothed pussy "how are you feeling here?"
You moaned softly "I-I feel tingly, like last time"
"mhh, that's good" he hummed, inhaling your scent "that's real good sugar, but we don't have time for me to take care of you, so here's what we're gonna do" he said, leaning away, until you were eye to eye "I want you to take one of your pillows and hump it for me"
"h-hump it?"
"yeah sweetheart, hump it until come"
"I-I-"
"it's ok" he stroked your cheek "It's just me"
"Y-you right" You nodded
"that's my girl" he kissed you "and while you hump it real good, I want you to film yourself, and then send it to me ok?"
"why?" you frowned, a little bit confused
Again with the questions
"Because I need to know if you did it right"
Your mouth parted at that, as the realization hit you
He was just too nice
"of course" you smiled "thank you so much daddy"
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theethoslab · 9 months ago
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Absolutely losing my mind over Scar’s stream today
He was already talking to Etho while catching ocelots
Joel logs in and Scar immediately asks if Etho wants to go visit him
We get so many Etho lore crumbs (although he doesn’t fully confirm anything except having stubble and trying to get rid of 2 extra house generators)
They hang out for like 2 hours doing nothing hut chatting
Eventually Scar leaves but forgot that he left his ocelots at Etho’s because he was so excited about boat boys that he never brought them home
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eposiemc · 29 days ago
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"You betrayed me last season so I don't love you!"
guys i can't believe the gempearl divorce is real guys LOVE IS DEAD wl!gem is salty and bitter about how everything ended in secret life. how is it possible that none of us even thought about that possibility
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ariineii · 6 months ago
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The Girl In Red Riding Hood And The Wolf
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zecoritheweirdone · 8 months ago
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hehehehehhooo,, decided to draw some hermits as the mystery skulls animated gang!! why? uhhh mostly just 'cause.
special thanks to the ibaaf server for helping me pick the roles! gem is vivi,, false is arthur,, pearl is lewis,, and etho is mystery!!
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better pic of pearl under the cut, where you can how lazy i am,,ms ksmsksjs
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pagemarie7243 · 5 days ago
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every time there is a bad take about Scott smajor a puppy dies
(Rant in tags)
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sn0wp1anets · 4 months ago
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ive been rewatching alot of x-life stuff recently and joel talking about being a fan of hermitcraft and not knowing the hermits very well and not thinking hed ever be invited feels so insane
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raticalshoez · 1 month ago
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i'm having hyperfixation drought so i did what i did best and created a crossover episode
#trafficblr#life series#hermitcraft#qsmp#the drought's been crazy i had to make qsmp x life series/hermitcraft you don't understand i literally had to#i literally cannot tag all of the cubitos without going over the limit so i'm gonna use them to rant about these doodles instead#when i tell you that i think dl!pearl would've loved tilín i'm telling you i think she would've LOVED them like.#something about just wanting to find love at every turn but feeling unwanted spdihgpisadhfpa. and also tilín's name is similar to tilly LOL#the jelly egg is just like if the double life jelly pandas were just an egg that scar loves with all his heart and grian reluctantly accept#i think out of all the duos in qsmp. the one i would want to see in the dl soumate premise the most is slimeriana. it's the dysfunctionalit#i made a post in the past about pac and tango being my fav cubitos bcs they were both crazy cartoonish and like scientists#but it kinda felt like a disservice to leave mike and zedaph out because to me they're argubly crazier and more cartoonish#missa and tim are paired bcs i just really wanted an excuse to draw the wet cats and it just so happened they both have relations to death#skizz and jaiden as the lawyers who were SHOCKINGLY good at their jobs like they cooked with that one#(was also gonna draw joe and roier as bad lawyers but i was running outta steam)#someone's already made a post about grian and (el) quackity and their eye entities so not much elaboration needed there#fit and etho just give the same vibe to be as a dude who has a reputation and is well-known and seems intimidating#i also made fit's arms way too skinny and i don't like it...but i'm not gonna go back and change it now i spent embarassingly long on this#but then his silliness is brought out by The Narrative#foolish and bdubs is one of my favorite drawings because i just knew i wanted to highlight the silly height difference#just realized they're also both god-like figures at least at some point#cellbit and rendog. cat and dog and lore. enough said about their connection.#i couldn't decide who fit etoiles combat hungry anime protagonist vibe best bcs martyn was originally paired with him#but i wanted martyn with phil so i went with my second options: joel and gem#i couldn't draw them mid rage but essentially the title is derived from “WHO KILLED EMPANADA” and “do me a favor. die for me.”#philza minecraft and martyn inthelittlewood. they feel like twins but one is evil (it's martyn)#SOMETHING I FORGOT THAT I WISH I ADDED: BBH AND BIGB AS THE ENTITIES WHO LIE. I HATE MYSELF HOW COULD I FORGET THAT#if i were to pair impulse with someone it would be tubbo? either him or scar would've been with tubbo#and then lizzie i just did not know who i wanted to pair her with. no one really does it like her in my opinion#scott's someone i also had no idea who to put him with he's just so...him...
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hcwaffle · 7 months ago
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Spot the difference.
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wren-kitchens · 1 year ago
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soo is anyone gonna talk about how joel started his episode with plans to create graves for the people he lost before the whole zombie apocalypse took over or am I just gonna be insane on my own
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tubbytarchia · 4 months ago
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Hey so, funny thing happened
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hey what if I cried
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nickyandstuff · 5 months ago
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The only reason I know his birthday is today is because on Thursday I was googling his age and got something along the lines of “30 years, 11 months, and 28 days”. So I then googled his birthday and saw it was in two days. Without text and just the background below the cut ( the design is by mellozheist because her art is incredible)
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