#and its thirteen! and kutner!

[lokh]

oh shit! its taub!

[thankstothe]

pining hours

[tremendously-crazy]

bingewatching a show and getting insane whiplash when the cast changes

[botanicallyinclinednerd]

"Why are you still alive?"

"Not sure!"

I liked it better when I first watched these clips not knowing where they were chronologically

[greghatecrimes]

Kutner: What are your adjectives?

13: My... You mean my pronouns?

Kutner: No, I mean your adjectives

13: Uh- I don't know, what're yours?

Kutner: Sunny and chaotic

I imagined Thirteen trying to follow his lead and say "Okay, I guess mine are maybe... confident and driven" or something, but House interrupts to say "Don't listen to that crap. They're awkward and gay." and Kutner bursts out laughing

[anyatomy]

Cuddy tumor benign

[desire-mona]

house in 2024 bc i see ppl post this

- chase makes "lol americans experience gun violence" jokes

- cameron engages in online discourse and starts a lot of arguments with "as a doctor..."

- foreman uses 4chan but just to sit in shock at the things he sees on there

- house is a mod and frequent poster on r/newjersey of all things. only wilson knows, not because house keeps it a secret, but because its so weirdly out of character that nobody would ever bring it up

- wilson sends reels of edgy standup comedians to house on instagram

- cuddy frequents gentle parenting forums, occasionally uses tactics on house

- taub used to run a food review channel on youtube but stopped when people called his videos "mukbangs"

- thirteen introduces herself with her name and pronouns, everyone makes a joke about this at least once

- kutner is a hamilton fan

[all-pacas]

@lapdogchase hi i'm making this its own post because it got really long - yeah, people (myself included) have done the math: chase does solve the most cases of everyone on the show outside of house. there's a few factors at play (that i've argued on reddit about), but the crux of it is:

chase has been on the show a very long time, he's had more chances (6 seasons) to get wins. this doesn't explain why he has more wins than foreman (7 seasons), and is sometimes used an excuse to say "chase is better than foreman," but more on that in a second. but it's also useful to compare him to kutner here, who had several solves in his 1.5 seasons: he doesn't "beat" chase, but proportionally? he kind of does. thirteen is actually in a similar situation.

chase's wins are actually in two clusters. he gets 2 solves in s3, and comes up with a number of other Bright Ideas in that season, he gets one notable "near solve" in s6, and his last big cluster is in s8. looked at it like that, it becomes pretty clear his solves are for story purposes: in s8, he's obviously being set up by the show to be the Next House, and gets tons more character focus than he's ever had before. in s6, he gets a couple of moments post-divorce, probably meant to remind the audiences why we should want him back on the team. his s3 run, meanwhile, seems to set up his leaving: a big fuss is made over the question of whether foreman/cameron/chase are ready to move on and leave in s3, with house suggesting foreman isn't because foreman still trusts house's judgement over his own; by contrast, chase spends most of s3 acting on his own and stepping up when house is out of the building, showing he is ready. that isn't to say they aren't real solves, but clearly this is character development first, "chase is a genius" second.

and finally, that character development aspect. simply put: foreman gets a ton of episodes where he struggles with his biases/mistakes/ego, his arrogance costs him, he has to figure out what's going on, and then he (usually) gets a win. we see this in s1's histories, in s3's… actually a lot of s3 episodes, but house training is a crucial example, in s5's huntington's trial and in emancipation. however, since once of foreman's stated character flaws is his arrogance, a lot of the time, the show has him screw up so he can learn and grow from his mistakes. cameron is in a similar boat: while she makes far less overt mistakes than the guys, she is often-to-always shown to be mistaken and have to learn and grow emotionally. strangely, since chase is a much less important character, narratively, he doesn't get this. we hardly ever see into his head, he is never given topics to grapple with until s6, even his focus episodes -- cursed, forever -- tend to be aimed more at house observing him than us seeing through chase's eyes. so he's just handed wins when it's useful for the plot (someone has to solve the case), and isn't tasked to learn and grow. ever. until s8.

take finding judas, for example. it's a fantastic episode. but let's compare it to emancipation.

in emancipation, foreman wants to prove he can solve his own cases without help. he is handed a case by cuddy, and he immediately likes the patient and his family. however, he… has no idea what's going on. he recruits cameron and chase to help him, and we see foreman struggle with the attempt to prove himself, as well as him caring about and bonding with the patient. he eventually solves the case, and, with his newfound confidence, goes to house and tells him he is going to run his own cases/the huntington's trial: foreman has finally proven himself to himself, and isn't asking for permission. the case is very wrapped up in his character development, right? storytelling 101!

in finding judas: we have a case. it's really much more about cuddy, and we see most of the case and patient through cuddy's eyes. chase is certainly around, but he's preoccupied -- along with everyone else -- by tritter. tritter freezes everyone's bank accounts, and foreman accuses chase of ratting, but we don't really see chase react to this: we learn later that chase's accounts weren't frozen, but we don't have, for example, a scene of him trying to figure out what is going on, deciding to lie and hide this information. he tries to tell house he didn't rat, but house is having none of it. again, we're mostly in house and wilson's heads as they argue, or cuddy's for the case. does chase waver? how does he feel about this? we know he's annoyed. foreman and cameron bully him a little, and he's annoyed, but does this hurt his feelings? does he consider ratting? we don't know. he then solves the case. it's a cool moment, but again: has he been paying attention? have there been scenes establishing him putting things together? it just kind of… happens. he tells house and gets punched. the focus is on house. the focus is on wilson. chase is angry, but we never see any of this episode from his perspective. we're barely told how he feels, only how wilson feels about chase's anger. chase solves the case because it is narratively convenient for him, but it isn't about him the way that foreman's episodes and solves are.

it isn't really until s8 that chase's solves and episodes become about him, and not "someone needs to solve this case." that isn't to say he wasn't formally shown to be smart and creative -- he's always been both. but it is why he's never, for example, shown with an ounce of ambition or purpose, unlike cameron and foreman, who both have multiple subplots about their leadership and career and ambitions. it's true that chase is just kind of unambitious and that's totally fine! and that is an actual character trait of his, that is part of his personality.

he becomes more houselike, but unintentionally, i think: no one ever makes a point of it, and the ways he become houselike are fairly coincidental: you could also say he becomes more cynical and bitter and depressed, you know? he becomes houselike because he becomes unhappy. but house is more than just his cynicism and unhappiness: house is passionate in his beliefs, stubborn, determined, arrogant, likes to pick at people and mysteries and understand the world around him, and chase, bless, is not really any of those things. cynicism is a surface-level trait. he resembles house more on the surface, but chase has always been an easy-going, passive, non-confrontational people pleaser at heart. you can be those things and depressed, too.

but in s8, when foreman is no longer available and they know the show is ending: the next house has to be chase. and the show doesn't change him: they focus on chase's unhappiness with his life (which has been a trait of his for a few years now), but also do so by showing him as someone who wants love, who wants a family, who still isn't ambitious but does feel stuck in the life he's ended up with. who becomes the new house, not because he wants to be, but because he doesn't think he has any other options. i love chase md, but it's kind of a tragedy. and even though it ends up making a certain narrative sense, and chase certainly "deserves" it, it was also, clearly, never planned.

[wilsonteav]

My Taub headcanons (also contains Papa Taub headcanons)

• After House's death, he left Plainsboro and returned to being a plastic surgeon. He explained that he respected House very much and that's why he didn't want to work for anyone else.

• He tries to be a better father and person for his daughters. He is afraid that one day they will hate him.

• He brings flowers to Ruby and Rachel for Women's Day even though they are not in relationship.

• Sometimes he goes to Kutner's grave and talks to him and apologizes for not noticing anything.

• He likes sweaters, although he only wears them in the comfort of his home.

• He always tries to be the proudest father of his daughters.

• As he got older, he started wearing glasses.

• Taub got a cat named Lawietee. He named it after Lawrence & Thirteen. Its has mix of black & brown colored fur.

• Taub's favorite way to spend time with daughters is playing board games.

• Taub can play the trumpet, even though he is ashamed of it.

• His musical taste is mix of classical, blues, jazz and pop.

• Chris is not really a halloween liker, but he doesn't stop his daughters from celebrating this day and goes with them to collect the candies.

• Taub loves to play video games on his console in his free time.

[maudlin-scribbler]

(My) Ranking of house md seasons

– because why not? (also I am writing this now because I wanna see if my feelings change as I continue my rewatch!)

1) Season 2

As it's been said before, it really is typical House MD, really the best season in my opinion. The plot is fairly interesting, lots of compelling character developments. It's the first time we hear about Cuddy's wish to have a kid, Wilson starts living with House, just,,,, Cameron and Chase and the camchase hookup, we get to meet House's parents, and Euphoria part 1 and 2 are seriously some of my favourite episodes EVER, ALSO Stacy!!!! I love her. We don't have any "villains" like Vogler in season 1 or Tritter in Season 3, it's just the characters being put in situations. It's fun, and has that early seasons charm. (other episodes I love are Autopsy, Daddy's Boy, Hunting, All In, Sleeping Dogs Lie, House vs. God and Who's your Daddy? Stopping myself because otherwise I'd list all the episodes.)

2) Season 1

It is the one I am rewatching right now, and I seriously love it. The first time I watched House, I "fell in love" straight from the Pilot, because it really is good from the get-go! Some of this show's best episodes (in my opinion) are in Season 1, such as Histories, Control and Three Stories. In some ways it's still finding its footing, like House being not quite as prickly as he in later seasons. Wilson is Also There in a lot of episodes, which I do enjoy, and I love Cuddy a lot as well.

3)...Season 3

If I didn't love Season 1 and 2 as much as I do, it would be higher on the list! I love the camchase fwb thing where Cameron definititely doesn't have feelings for Chase, nu-uh, and One Room is probably one of my favourite episodes from any show ever. I kind of don't like the Tritter arc because to me it's very frustrating to watch and such a drag but I do get what they were going for, and it does kind of pick up after Son of a Coma Guy.

Shout out to: Nurse Wendy (and Foreman getting her a job in ANOTHER STATE, as evidence number one that he Will sabotage any relationship that's going anywhere), House FAKING BRAIN CANCER, Bonnie Wilson (the wife Wilson "cheated on" with House LMAOO, I'm sorry my poor girl, you're the worst realtor in New Jersey and I love you for it). Honestly, were it not for the weird thing with the 17 year old I would rank it higher.

4) Season 5

It's really...I love it sooo much. Birthmarks is another episode I'm really fond of, and this is when House's new fellows really get the time to shine and we get to really know them fro the first time. I love House and Wilson's "break up", it's so funny but also sad yknow. I LOVE CUDDY AND RACHEL ALSO 💖💖💖💖 I don't...particularly care for the way Cam and Chase get engaged (Saviors) but I guess it's okay. And...Kutner :((((

things I don't like are Foreteen (or well, I am neutral about them, I think in some ways they were cute but like so obviously not made for eachoter. A sort of wrong people-right situation + timing thing. Fascinating tbh)

5) Season 4

I love it, it's sooooo fun!!! I LOVE THE NEW CHARACTERS!!!! I love the hiring games, although it's really obvious it suffers from not having as many episodes. Amber's relationship with Wilson and her eventual death would have mattered so much more if we had gotten more time with her, in my opinion, and the fellows don't exactly get the time to shine until season 5. I love the Boundaries era with Chase, I love seeing how happy camchase is together lol. It goes with saying that House's Head and Wilson's Heart are some of the best episodes of television, no doubt.

6) Season 6, of course

It's good!!!! I don't have a lot of things to say about it, but it's indeed good. Wait, I do like Alvie. and Uh. I do like the finale(Help Me) of season 6, I very much love the patient and the way House connects with her(and the line "I did everything right! And she died anyway!" will always live in my mind).

Thirteen and Taub are also some of the highlights of the season, and Foreman as well. WAIT I also love Wilson (shout out to Wilson donating a part of his liver to his patient who can't even remember his name lmaooo) and Private Lives, Black Hole, Lockdown, Knight Fall nd 5 to 9 as well. I don't car for The Tyrant nor for the mental hospital/House goes to therapy arc for my reasons.

7) Season 8

It's fine. I love Park and Addams, and if this season wasn't haunted by, well...I think I would have loved them more. I don't care for Foreman as the dean of medicine and what they did with his character (besides his relationship with the married woman lollllll i love that). I love Cuddy so much and I miss her character. I don't have a lot to say about it, besides what they did with Wilson was interesting. It's fine. Also I did kinda like Dominica, I guess?

8) Season 7

THE WRITERS ARE DEAD TO ME

one of its only saving graces was Masters, whom I love dearly. If you know me, you might know the fact that I am a huddy shipper, but season 7 is the bane of my existence because of the writers went about it. At least Rachel was cute and I like the interactions between her and House, and House/Cuddy had some cute moments too. Besides my...gripes(?) with Bombshells, I can however admit that it's an interesting episode, I GUESS. I also do like Unwritten and A Pox on Our House.

In general this is the season of character assasinations and I can genuinely feel myself getting annoyed while typing this lolllll. I am not even gonna talk about Moving On, the finale.

[berrywinner]

hey i heard you were taking requests. Do something nice with Kutner. Whatever comes to your mind. Make it taubner, make him act stupid in front of his colleagues, I don't really care. I just want him to be happy

Everybody needs a Kutner

Kutner stirred awake to the soft glow of dawn filtering through the curtains. He turned to find Taub still peacefully asleep beside him. A tender smile graced Kutner's lips as he pressed a gentle kiss on his forehead, his fingers lingering to trace the curve of his partner's cheek.

"Chris," Kutner whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to Taub's temple. "Time to wake up."

Taub groaned softly, eyes fluttering open to meet Kutner's affectionate gaze. "Morning already?" he murmured, voice thick with sleep.

"Afraid so," Kutner replied, his hand sliding down to entwine their fingers. "But I'll make breakfast."

In the kitchen, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee and sizzling bacon filled the air. Kutner had set the table with care, placing a single flower in a vase at its center. As Taub entered, adjusting his tie, Kutner approached with a playful grin, looping his arms around Taub's waist.

"Before you say anything," Kutner began, nuzzling into the crook of Taub's neck, "yes, I may have gone a bit overboard. But we have a long day ahead and we deserve it."

Taub chuckled, turning in Kutner's embrace to face him. "You're incorrigible," he said, pressing a lingering kiss to Kutner's lips.

At Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, the diagnostic team assembled around the whiteboard. House detailed their latest case: a 42-year-old woman experiencing unexplained syncope, a rash on her left arm, intermittent fevers, and hallucinations in which she's kidnapped by aliens.

Kutner, standing beside Taub, leaned in to whisper, "Sounds like the plot of a sci-fi thriller."

Taub smirked, elbowing him gently. "Focus, Lawrence."

Thirteen observed their exchange with a raised eyebrow. "You two are unusually chipper today," she remarked.

Kutner grinned, throwing an arm around Taub's shoulders. "What can I say? Love is a great motivator."

House rolled his eyes. "If you're done with the PDA, maybe we can save a life?"

As the team dispersed to run tests, Kutner and Taub found themselves in the lab. Kutner, ever the playful one, struck a superhero pose.

"Dr. Taub, ready to combat medical mysteries with me?" he declared dramatically.

Taub laughed, shaking his head. "You're ridiculous."

Thirteen entered just in time to witness Kutner's antics. "Is he always like this?" she asked, amused.

"Only when he's had too much coffee," Taub replied, though his fond smile betrayed his true feelings.

Kutner smirked. "I call it controlled chaos."

Thirteen snorted. "More like barely controlled."

"Hey, controlled enough that House hasn't fired me yet," Kutner shot back, winking.

That got a laugh out of her. "That’s a dangerously low bar, Kutner."

During a particularly tense moment, Kutner took out a small, plush alien from his lab coat pocket, making it "consult" on the case.

"Dr. Alien recommends a full metabolic panel," Kutner announced, moving the toy as if it were speaking.

Thirteen stifled another laugh, shaking her head. "Where do you even find this stuff?"

"Emergency preparedness," Kutner said with a grin. "You never know when a patient will claim alien abduction."

Taub shook his head, unable to suppress his smitten smile. "You're impossible."

Thirteen smiled "Yeah but I think everybody needs a Kutner in their lives"

After concluding their duties, Kutner and Taub retreated to their shared apartment. Living with Kutner was fun, until he was full of energy after the entire day. Taub loved it, but at the same time, he was exhausted.

"Come on, Chris," Kutner urged, pulling Taub to his feet. "Let's see those moves."

Taub chuckled, allowing himself to be led. "You're going to kill me. I'm getting old, you know."

As they swayed to the music, Kutner's hands roamed to cup Taub's face, bringing their foreheads together. "I love you," he whispered.

Taub's eyes softened, his arms encircling Kutner's waist. "I love you too, Lawrence."

[greghatecrimes]

Home - House M.D.

A little tribute to the show and characters that have brought me a lot of happiness this summer and that feel a little bit like home.

(dialogue subtitles available on youtube!)

[kutner-elegist]

this will be kutner related bc i love my idiot indian man. make him make thirteen eat spicy food. she dies. kutner doesn't even have a particularly high spice tolerance thirteen is simply white

apologies for not following your request exactly but lest we forget Kutner was raised by white parents eating white people food and to me Kutner is likely Gujarati and/or Punjabi gleaning from his late parents' names and also the fact that Kal Penn is Gujarati and those regions have less spicy foods compared to southern India and also Thirteen seems like she can take some spice (for a white person) so this is gonna be a bet (Hot Ones style if you've ever seen them) that comes close but Kutner wins only because he is more committed to the bit and masochistic than Thirteen (the end part got sad just so you know)

Kutner and Thirteen sat across from each other, both their countenances intense. They each had ten pieces of buffalo wings neatly lined up before them, with cold bottles of beer on the side for palate cleansing. In the center were ten different bottles of hot sauce. Quiet severity emanated from their staring match.

House towered over them at the head of the table. Foreman, Taub, Wilson and Cuddy were on the opposite side.

Foreman broke the silence. “What exactly are they doing again?”

Taub tilted his head, his eyebrows still raised. “They’re playing chicken with … chicken wings, I guess.”

“Hot wings,” Kutner emphasized.

“Kutner is Kutner, but why are you doing this?” Foreman said to Thirteen.

“He thinks I can’t handle spice because I’m white.”

“Why do you care—”

“Ask questions later,” House cut him off. “The game is on. Ante omnia, we must ensure that they haven’t used any performance enhancing drugs. Their blood was screened for painkillers, and Wilson watched them until the results came back all negative. If they used local anesthetics that might be undetectable such as Cetacaine, its effects should have worn off by now, but we still need to make sure.”

“You let them do blood tests for this?” Foreman asked Cuddy.

“They paid for it.” Cuddy shrugged.

“Shush.” House scolded Foreman. He then commanded, “Kutner, say ‘Imagine an imaginary menagerie manager managing an imaginary menagerie.’”

“Imagine an imaginary menagerie manager managing an imaginary menagerie,” Kutner obliged effortlessly.

“Now Thirteen.”

“Imagine an imaginary menagerie manager managing an imaginary menagerie,” Thirteen glided through the tongue twister as well.

House held up one of the hot sauce bottles, the label facing the spectators. “We shall begin with Cholula Original, around 1000 in the Scoville scale. On your mark, get set, eat!”

They bit into their chicken wings. In the blink of an eye, they were both holding defleshed bones.

“This isn’t even spicy.” Kutner put down the bone.

“It’s regular stuff,” Thirteen agreed.

They raised their beers, clinked their bottles together and took a small sip.

“Next up, Valentina Black Label, 2100 SHU. On your mark, get set, eat.”

They quickly ate them up again, and licked the sauce off their fingers.

“This is nothing,” said Kutner.

“Nothing,” Thirteen repeated.

Again, they had a sip of beer just to cleanse the palate.

“Third, Tapatío, 3000 SHU. On your mark, get set, eat.”

“It’s alright,” said Kutner.

“Uh-huh,” said Thirteen.

Thirteen drank a little more beer than Kutner.

“Tapatío is hot,” said Taub. 

“To you.” Kutner looked at Taub with his smug grin.

“Quaker Steak Buckeye BBQ, 5000. On your mark, get set, eat.”

Kutner devoured it quickly. “Now we’re getting somewhere.”

Thirteen took a little longer, but finished it soon enough. She held her sip of beer a little bit before swallowing it.

“Tabasco Habanero, 7000. On your mark, get set, eat.”

“Ooh, it’s starting to hit,” said Kutner.

Thirteen’s pale skin was flushed, but she remained composed. They both had a gulp of beer.

“We are only halfway there. The sixth is Crazy Jerry’s Brain Damage, 11,000. On your mark, get set, eat.”

“Why are you eating something called Brain Damage?” Foreman stepped forward. “It will certainly hurt your GI system.”

“Only a little, and temporarily at that. These are all FDA approved for retail,” said House.

Neither Kutner nor Thirteen responded to Foreman. They managed to finish the wings, but not as easily. Kutner silently drank his beer. Thirteen fanned her face with her other hand while she drank hers.

“You can stop anytime you want, you know,” said Kutner.

“You wish,” Thirteen retorted, but she was a little out of breath.

“Dragon Repellant Knightmare, 15,000. On your mark, get set, eat.”

Thirteen hesitated before biting in. Kutner gobbled it up, as if he wanted to get it over with as fast as possible. They emptied their beers, and House replaced the empty bottles with new ones. Thirteen fanned her face with both of her hands. The redness spread to her neck. Kutner was getting flushed as well, just not as noticeable on his deeper complexion.

“They’re FDA approved for a little dip, not whole chicken wings covered in them.” Foreman approached Thirteen. “Remy.”

Thirteen dismissed Forman with the wave of her hand. “I can take it, okay?”

Foreman turned to the rest of the spectators. “This is stupid!”

“Which is why it’s funny,” said Taub.

Wilson nodded in agreement.

“Why are you allowing your employees to endanger their health?” Foreman asked Cuddy.

“They’ll do it even if I tell them not to, and I’d rather be present in case damage control is needed.”

“Foreman is trying to dissuade Thirteen, which is only going to motivate her more. He’s interfering with the competition by giving unfair advantage to one side,” said Kutner.

“Yes. Foreman, shut up. Taub, say something discouraging to Kutner to make it even,” said House.

“I don’t think the guy who willingly electrocuted himself can be discouraged from anything,” said Taub.

“True, and that statement would have the desired effect, so good enough. Blair’s Jalapeño Death, 20,000. On your mark, get set, eat.”

“Whoa.” Kutner recoiled after eating it, breathing rapidly. He chugged the cold beer. He took off his hoodie.

Thirteen coughed. She tried to drink beer to cool down, but ended up choking on it a little. Foreman leapt toward her. House barred him with his cane. “No entering the ring if you’re not playing.”

“You know what,” said Thirteen, coughing and breathing heavily. “You win, Kutner. I give up.”

“Technically, he has to complete the next round to win. Otherwise, it’s a tie.” House looked at Kutner.

Kutner’s face was distorted with agony, but he muttered, “Bring it on.”

“Very well. Blair’s Original Death, 30,000. Whenever you’re ready.”

Kutner took some time to regain his composure, and ate the ninth chicken wing. He immediately washed it down with the rest of his beer.

“We have a winner!” House exclaimed.

Wilson and Taub clapped and cheered. Cuddy rolled her eyes. Thirteen finally calmed down from her coughing fit and she kept drinking the beer. Kutne, however, remained seated. His eyes were fixed on the last remaining wing on the plate.

“Come on, you won. It’s over.” Taub tapped Kutner on the shoulder.

Kutner reached for the last hot wing. Everyone felt their own bodies growing tense as he painfully finished it off. House handed him another beer, and he chugged it down. He panted, and his skin glistened with sweat.

“You’re insane!” Thirteen yelled.

“That one was called Pain 100%, 40,000. This proves my hypothesis that you are a masochist.”

“I’m not a masochist!” Kutner protested between gasps.

House leaned over toward Kutner. “You already won. You didn’t have to touch that last one. You love to gloat, but right now you’re in too much pain to do that. You want pain more than you want victory.” House stepped away from the table and walked over to Wilson.

“This wasn’t as entertaining as I thought it would be,” Wilson said to House.

“We didn’t do it for your entertainment,” said Kutner. He was still recovering from Pain 100%.

“What did you do it for?” Taub asked.

“It’s not a dare if there’s a purpose,” Kutner replied.

“So you did it for nothing.”

“Pretty much.”

Taub sighed. “Have fun digesting all that. I’ll see you tomorrow, unless you need a sick day.” He walked out.

“At least this is over,” Cuddy grumbled before she left.

House and Wilson left as well. Kutner and Thirteen cleaned up the table. Foreman stayed behind to help.

“It’s still pretty impressive that you lasted as far as you did.” Kutner’s gloating smirk was back.

Thirteen laughed. “My insides are already burning.”

“I’ll finish cleaning up. You go get some rest. Drink water,” said Foreman. His eyes followed Thirteen through the window until she was out of sight. Then, he hissed, “Why did you put her up to this?”

“House and I ironed out the details, but having a match was her idea.” Kutner shrugged, his eyes wide open.

“You provoked her first.”

“I didn’t mean to provoke her, okay? It was an off-handed joke.”

“You should have said no when she wanted to do a match! You know she has—”

Foreman stopped mid-sentence because Kutner stepped closer, almost getting in his face. “She has a fatal neuromuscular degenerative disease. You think you know where it goes because you’re a neurologist, but you don’t. Neurologists just refer them to rehabilitation and follow up every now and then. You don’t even do that, because you work for House now. You confirm a diagnosis and your work is done. I did my residency in rehabilitation medicine. I’ve seen where it goes, many times over. Lifestyle changes are helpful, but it doesn’t change the destination or the course. It hardly even delays the inevitable. If she wants spicy chicken wings, she’ll have the goddamn spicy chicken wings. I’ll do whatever she asks to make her day exciting. I care about her. Maybe not in the way that you do, but I do. I won’t apologize for her decisions to you.” Kutner stormed out of the room.

Foreman continued to wipe the already-clean surface of the table.

[henley-reeves]

"House MD" was the first show that I was absolutely obsessed with 24/7 since I was a kid. I was in love with Huddy, they made me insane like no other ship did before. I remember I rewatching the last 2 episodes of season 5 on a loop all summer until season 6 came out. And I always knew this relationship would end up in tragedy but the way the writers ruined them is just incomprehensible to me. There were so many ways to end it badly but in a well-written way, Its like they didn't even know how to write this ship. They did mutual pining, mutual annoyance-to-lovers so well, and then when it was time to deliver the actual relationship, they lost it after a few episodes and imo, made both characters ooc in so many instances I lost count. The way they ended this relationship made Cuddy look bad, and then they did it with House but made him look even worse in the season finale, that I still hate to this day. And then the show got ruined because an important part of it disappeared. "House" was good because it was an ensemble cast show, it consisted of many elements like puzzle pieces that created the atmosphere, made this show special. And if you take away one element, the whole picture fractures and falls apart. That's why most of the characters that made this show what it was, were present even in recurring roles. That's why when Cameron, Kutner, Thirteen and Amber left the show, it didn't feel the same anymore. And when Cuddy left, the show just lost flavour. And that's why the series finale was not as good as it could be either, because Cuddy was supposed to be there. I don't remember much of what happened after "Bombshells" but didn't House have Cuddy's picture with him in prison where he went AFTER he drove a car through her house? How come she wasn't there in the finale when she was such an important part of his life for decades? A person he wanted to be with so badly that he hallucinated a whole day of romantic relationship with her. Hello?

I read a big review of the series finale by an official online source when it came out, that said the episode was fantastic except there was a huge elephant in the room because Cuddy wasn't there. I haven't thought about this in years, but now I'm rewatching and I'm reminded how badly the show went downhill and it still makes me angry.

Anyway, I miss this show and I think that despite its flaws, it was absolutely amazing overall, but it is a very good example of how the formula of the show only works if you don't mess with it or remove the integral ingredients that made it whole.

And a reminder to writers that "will they or won't they?" only works well when the writers KNOW how to write "they will" in a satisfying way that doesn't make the relationship go off the rails and lose its spark.

[deeplyclosetedjameswilson]

house characters as high school teachers but none of them can teach bio bc thats cheating

house - physics. specifically ap physics, 1+2 and c. has the best pass rate in the state but thirteen tells him it doesnt matter because his class sizes are tiny (his reputation scares lots of students off). doesn't grade a damn thing, hasn't lesson planned since dinosaurs roamed the earth. department head but really cameron is doing his job

foreman - calculus and geometry. taking ap calc concurrently with dr houses ap physics c is not for the faint of heart. actually a really good teacher. grades harshly but also gives really good feedback. almost impossible to earn an A in his class unless you really understand the material, but he's always available for extra help. kind of dry so hes unpopular with the younger kids. math department head

chase - gym teacher. his first year of teaching the kids screenshotted his instragram pfp and put it up on posters around the school.

cameron - i know i said no bio but cameron is the freshman bio teacher that all the students adore. definitely has kids eating lunch in her classroom. does all of house's department head paperwork. not as good as giving feedback as foreman but she is better about giving chances to go back and retake tests, make up assignments etc. runs the national honor society

wilson - exclusively teaches english class for seniors. literally impossible to fail his class because you just start crying during extra help and he passes you. big on watching movies in class but will assign one of those worksheet to follow along with. its ok if you dont do it because again, you can sniffle and he will give you a 65. if the school can't find a theatre teacher for the year he's an ok backup but insists on doing the classics. have you ever seen high schoolers perform the works of henrik ibsen? english department head

kutner - english teacher, sophomores and juniors. really big on creative writing. class is extremely disorganized, so you're not always sure what you're supposed to be learning but you're having a good time so it doesn't matter. if he thought ahead enough to make his students hold on to all their work they'd have an amazing portfolio but unfortunately he accidentally threw out all your essays from december (he tells you this in april). they were great though. helps run all the extremely nerdy clubs.

thirteen - another math teacher. kind of like foreman she teaches both upper level kids, but in statistics, and the lower level kids in algebra 1. really good at explaining concepts in ways you wouldn't have thought of. dry sense of humor but the kids love it. students have many theories as to why she's called thirteen (that was the average grade on her final, she fails 13 kids a year, her classroom is haunted and she's the 13th teacher to use it) but its because she was house's 13th student teacher (and the 2nd to actually make it into education despite house's best efforts to convince her otherwise)

taub - career change into teaching. combo sociology and psychology teacher. his class isn't the most interesting, but he's a decent teacher. occasional pop quiz and presentation but otherwise he shows off his powerpoint every day and makes you take a quiz on friday. loves to show a movie in class but unlike wilson he does expect you to turn in the worksheet, cmon its literally 5 questions suck it up. coaches golf

cuddy - the principal. she would like a liquor store gift card for an end of year gift please

[armydreamerr]

house queer headcanons. BOOM

- house is bi and honestly i think falls in love pretty easily considering everything. stacy wilson cuddy? and then he’s like bonded for life.

- wilson is bi and aromantic. this guy definitely doesn’t feel romantic attraction. i do think he can sort of fall in love though. because amber. (and house ?)

- cameron is so unlabelled bro she has no idea if she’s into women or men but like she also has a feeling that she has to just Pick one. if she just came out as bisexual she might be all good.

- chase is bisexual and i honestly do believe that. he could also be trans in either direction i think. he’s not cis though mark my words. cisgenderism? with that haircut? no way.

- foreman is demiromantic and probably straight honestly but it’s like a case by case sort of thing. i actually do think he felt something for cameron. making her his medical proxy was super gay (in a straight kind of way i guess)

- cuddy is straight and maybe a trans woman? she and house are so bonded for life totally completely in love also.

- thirteen is bisexual obv. and bro i guarantee she’s transmasc. i just know these things. he/she.

- amber is unlabelled because i said so. honestly to me her whole “love and respect” thing says she doesnt really go for relationships and i think its to the point where shes not entirely sure if she likes men or women. i also used to think transmasc was a cool headcanon for her but i dont reaaaally vibe with jt anymore? cause atp it feels like people would only say it just to make a case for wilson being gay but idk

- kutner is like the poster boy for being transmasc. 1st of all he wears purple converse in at least one episode. 2nd of all his name is lawrence. you don’t have to like it to know it’s true. he also seems pretty hetero to me.

- taub is cishet idk i can’t imagine him being gay. actually i feel like he could be bisexual and it would be kinda funny cause he’d make homophobic comments and then pull the “i’m bisexual” card. like idk if that’s controversial but it really fits his character in my opinion.

thank you for coming to my ted talk