#LMAOOOO ok so hes 9 now hes allowed here

[lokh]

oh shit! its taub!

[needyoulikeaheartbeet]

the tortured poets department: the anthology - first listen

THIS IS SO EXCITING So I have been exhausted 25/8 because of work and my body constantly aching from long covid (i love ma life) so I only got to listen the next day I tried to stay up until midnight but I literally only made it to ~11:45 lmao

My eyes popped out of my head when I woke up to a double album drop - 31 SONGS TO LISTEN TO IN ONE GO I WAS SO HYPE I also laughed bc ofc taylor did a surprise release and now we have 31 new gems to treasure HERE ARE MY FIRST THOUGHTS !!

1. Fortnight SOFT SYNTH OH HER VOICE?????  OH I LIKE THIS  Y DID THAT REMIND ME OF FLORENCE OL ENDLESS FEBRUARY… I LOVE YOU ITS RUINING MY LIFE  I really like post malone  HELL YA  FLORIDA She said america its like she said my name

2. The Tortured Poets Department Ok drum O no fuckin body alright gf SPARKLY Charlie poot  You awaken with dread, pounding nails in your head  I laughed in your face and said - i like how she sings that!!! Wow her lows and highs in this song are wild! Bridge is best rn in this song !! oh wow jack lucy wowee  Omg the ring?????????????  Hello jack

3. My Boy Only Breaks His Favourite Toys Oh okay her VOICE Miss voice The deep parts helloooooooooooo  This wasnt the sound i thought we’d get for this song at all but this is cool (i was expecting like a sultry old timey jazzy "my boy" song in the same like arena of the start of christmas tree farm old timey version lmao) Litany This is gonna get stuck in my head often i can already see it i can already tell  Danger in the heat of my touch  Once i fix me hes gonna miss me???? Wow thats so real  Told me im BETTER OFF  Imma shake my fist

4. Down Bad THIS SOUND HELLO? Ok but her oice?????  YAAAA What is this noise bro  Oo cosmic love But the way she sings the verses???  Ofc hi jack  Its gonna grow on me ik aaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAA bubble sound There are so many f words  I might just die it would make no difference real  Ok but these worbly sounds are nice  THAT SOUND AT THE END GIVES lana vibes

5. So Long London Hello choir  Oh so SO long LONG OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Lmao Oh  Ok i kinda love htis  Ok i love her VOICE HELLO?  OO Omg Omg Omg THE SPINE BRAIN MAKE LAUGH LINES WOEOWOEWOEOWE (why did i write brain? HAHA) OH THE TRAGEDY STUF that is so good  Whoa holy shit the lyrics  ALL THAT YOUTH FOR FREE???? N HER VOICE? WOW  2 graves 1 gun  OH LAYERING IS THAT PIANO OR SYNTH IDK ITS SO GOOD My mouth has been open Her voice im screaming i love it and the FASTNESS SO GOOD  THAT GUITAR  Bro????????????????????????? I want to put this on repeat

6. But Daddy I Love Him I want to prance on my tip toes and throw leaves one by one  Reminds me of a 2000s movie Omg jack and aaron on this one  Im vibin Ok bitchin Omg thats a WILD part lmfaooo HELLO?  Thats kind of crazy lmaoooo like i get it but wowee  Its giving ours vibes  Im having his BABY? yeah you should see my face LMAO What is happening in this song lmao IM NOT CATCHING ALL THE LYRICS YET ITS TOO SOON AND NOW I FEEL LIKE THAT MR KRABS MEME   i like when she sings it was chaos etc

7. Fresh Out The Slammer OH HELL YEAH ELL  YEAH I AM ALREADY INTO IT Interesting drum  Wow her range in this song too that was so low  Is that a violino PRETTY MELODY O it slowed down  Ok i like the ending bit

8. Florida!!! her vocals MUAH LIL REVERBY GUITAR the drums threw me off ok florence vocals! so flowy bodies body in my mind they sink into the swaMP???? ok the home and town part is nice at the end here oo

9. Guilty As Sin? Ok beat AM I ALLOWED TO CRY !!!!! Ok chorus is NICE  Ok so far this is my second fave!!!!!!  Ok i really like this  WHAT IF HES WRITTEN MINE ON MY UPPER THIGH ONLY IN MY MIND Without ever touching his skin HOW CAN I BE GUILTY AS SIN BEECH Theyre gonna crucify me anyway HOLD ME OO Wow religious hello  Nice bridge Oh I choose you and me religiously eEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Oh wow interesting way to jump back into the chorus that is different I LIKE IT Ok IM INTO THIS

10. Who's Afraid Of Little Old Me? This is reminding me of 2013 idk why  OHHHHHHH YOUDONT GE TTO TELL ME ABOUT SAD YES BEECH OH WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW YES  OK YES  The guitar and the intonation and her VOICE YES SCREAMIN HELL YAAA Omg i love this  Ok another top song  Omg i love this  Ok this is #2 … or #1… !! Everything about this !!!!!!!!  WHOS AFRAID OF LITTLE OLD MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEe SELF WRITTEN YAS Oh the but what ifs so real lmaoo  Omg yes Asylum where they raised me?? Bb :(  drunk on my own tears???  Lol put narcotics into all my songs ha ha Circus life made me mean Lured hurt taught caged ??? calle dcrazy? Aw :( i am what i am cause you traine dme??? Oh

11. I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can) Ok i liked that first sound Good guitar Shes delulu ? Texas part was lana like Wow face… that was really low   Domme vibes ????? good boy? Come closer? Ill show you heaven if youll be an angel all night? Okkkkkkkk maam ! Oh i liked i told you hes my man hec ya Lmao whoa maybe i cant thats funny

12. loml Pinnano Ok this is going to be nice  Omg i thought i was better safe than starry eyed ok!!!!! This sounds sweet  I like  Topper  Aw the way she said you said im the love of your life about a million times  Blew in with the winds of fate omg  Omg the fakes line  CONMAN WOW Omg never before and ever since HER VOICE STHUSHGRJ THIS IS A STORY WOWOEWOE OWEER I love this Omg the vocals in th eback  Mr steal your girl then make her cry wow  UNRECALL SONG!! Omfg cant get out of bed bc something counterfeit is dead OKKKKKKK This is a top song Valiant roar  Bland goodbye Woweweowoeoweooweotwetirfv Nfkjnksjnsn Braids of lies !!!!!!!!!!!!! This is so good stfu :(  OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD YOURE THE LOSS OF MY LIFE SHUT THE FUCK UP SOMEONE GUESSED IT WOULD GO FROM LOVE OF MY LIFE TO LOSS OF MY LIFE SHU T UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP Im crying btw holy shit that was so good.

13. I Can Do It With A Broken Heart Oh zippy  HEY EY EY Lol  Aw while on tour Mirroball? Hello lol  He said he’d love me all his life  Omg thats so fuNNYYYYYYYYYYYYY SHUT UP LMAO Barbie !! It's giving Barbie!! LOL Im laughing so much this is great  Im so depressed, i cry a lot  Amaizing. So real. What a professional  LMAO i cannot  IM SO DEPRESSED I AC TLIKE ITS MY BIRTHDAY EVERY DAY <3  I CRY A LOT BUT I AM SO PRODUCTIVE ITS AN ART Ok i love this so much lmaoooo  Cause im miserable! And nobody even knows!!! What a professional queen  LMAO TRY AND COME FOR MY JOB? I love her stfu  I wanna listen to it again please omg

14. The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived Ofc jw lmao help me  who the fuck was that guy  Oh the beat is building  Omg ? Who tf ghosts taylor swift ? im gonna fight Rusting my sparkling summer wow  Oh my god this is savage i dont miss what we had but could someone give a message to the smallest man who ever lived KNGKJFNG Deep voice Oh bridge vocals YAAAAAA STRINGS YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA You deserve PRISON?? GIRLL Slip through the bars that was nice  CRASHED MY PARTY NICE  PERFORMING nice i love how shes singing these parts !!!!!!!!!! Ok i like how that tied up and ended neat

15. The Alchemy Ok i like this alreadyyyyyyyy It's reminding me of Glitch??? idk why Love white wine  Ok yaaa ! Smooth  Low vocals allooo  But even the instrumentals i love  Top ranking  song  Oh winning streak sound in the back i love

16. Clara Bow Ok i like the heaviness of the guitar yes Think i might die! Aw lights of manhattan  Promise to be dazzling Stringy sound!!  Stevie nicks!  Knew this was aaron  Suits in LA - i love when she does this in songs man idk she does it so well :)  Im dancing  Beauty is a beast etc nice  Girlish glow flickers just so omfg nice  Its hell!! On earth!! oMG THIS PART IS SO NICE STFU You look like taylor swift?? Omg  The futures bright dazzling DUDE SHE DOES THIS SO WELL SHUT UP I LOVE SONG WRITER TAYLOR SWIFT. this is so soft Reminds me of The Lucky One

17. The Black Dog This sounds sad already Oh  Oh that is sad Oh its a bar You forgot to turn it off  :c  Best laid plans!!!!!!!!!!  Oh in the shower  Rain soaked body was shaking omg ............................. IS THIS MY SHOW. ok erica not everything is abt u BREATHING CLEAN AIR SMOKE OGMKGJF Aw :( set fire to all my clothes  hello jack Omg our/my dreaming

18. imgonnagetyouback WE WONT GET FOOLED AGAIN NONO Thats the vibe Ok nvm

Oh Thats nice This will grow on me fr sure NICE BRIDGEEE LOL even if handcuffed Oooo play the game part Im poison either way skfjdn Ok going back into chorus was v nice end chorus is so nice w back vocals

19. The Albatross AARON VIBES  I like how her voice sounds it is TO MY TASTEEEE Ok this is a top so far i think  It is giving folklore  Oooo vocal range  I'm dancing And i tried to warn you about them that is very taylor sounding 

20. Chloe Or Sam Or Sophia Or Marcus Why cant my name be chosen Oh i like the piano hello??????  My bones out?  Oh the guitar? Bro this is SO pretty Oh this is so good wowowowow Its building up ?? i love this This tops the albatross  Depths of your sigh??  Her breathin?? Float in your orbit Her voice !!! stop it! I love this SAY YOU LOVED ME AAAAAAAA Oh vocals i love Will i always wonder TOP SONG HOLY SHIT i am hurt

21. How Did It End? Ok hi vocal i love u  SO MUCH? Wow Omg the QR CODES Flower! I love the piano and her voice wow  Oh i love that so much the VOCAL TUNE Learned the right steps to different dances!!! Top song i think idk omg  I would do so bad singing to this by myself between verse and chorus oof lol Oh guitar heading into bridge i loooooooooooooove this stuff Yes aaron My beloved ghost and me thats cute I cant pretend like i understand either

22. So High School GUITAR BEBIIIIIIIII very good DRUMS This is p different!! LOW Cute this is giving like 2000s romcom vibe  Lol thats cute marry kiss or kill me INTERVIEW - OMG BETTING ONALL THREE?  Awwww car door This is so cute Ok this part is cute and catchy you knew what you wanted and boy you got her !!  She is so in luv very cute  Ok im dancin this is really cute I feel so high school every time i look at u !! TRUTH DARE SPIN BOTTLES thats so catchy i love it  I can dance around to this for sureeEEEEEEEEEEEEe ok i love

23. I Hate It Here I hear u countin This is so aaron I like the concept of secret gardens I also hate it here  1830s good clarification omg shes so right This is good??? LUNAR VALLEYS !!!! Only the gentle survived Wow this is so REAL I dreamed about it in the dark the night i felt like i might die? Omg. is she me?  This is very real i am hurting Ill save all my romanticism??? HELLO? Made me feel worthless? CURRENT FLIES THROUGH ME? LOVE  Wow i love this song? This is a top im not kidding  An anthem  YOU ARE A POET TRAPPED INSIDE THE BODY OF A FINANCE GUY LMAO?  Sorry Finance guy 

Thats so funny I loved this song Im kinda crying now though i feel seen  Tbt the story i tried to write in high school called the art of disappearing

24. thanK you aIMee I like her voice  Down the stairs? I cri lmao  I cant forget the way you made me heal!!  Laughing at each baby step i take? Same searing pain!!!  Aw. prayed that one day i could say !!!  You know what i am totally with this fuck you aimee hell yeah  KGNKFSJGFSNGFSKG ANDREA LMFAO PLEASE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WISHED YOU WERE DEAD??? ANDREA!!!! LOL  OMG I BUILT A LEGACY THAT YOU CANT UNDO. GOOSEBUMPS.  Wow  Bro this is good?  Aw bea tmy spirit black and blue  Im laughing so much about andrea PLEASE Aw i pushed each boulder up that hill  This sounds country This warm my heart idk ilu taylor what a complex feeling to capture

25. I Look In People's Windows Same Dancing to this guitar  I spied the catch in your breath ooo  Chorus is fun  Omg what if your eyes looked up and met mine OOOOO LOVE VOCALS If someone looked at me while i was looking into their house id scream This is a nice song  Does it feel alright to not know me  OMG Im addicted to the if onlys  This is so good LOL like im some deranged weirdo  The downtown part man wow

26. The Prophecy I heard the countin  Oooo i like where this guitar is taking us  Ok so far im enjoying this  Caught lightning in a bottle  Oh!!! Cursed like eve ot bitten!!  Change the prophecy wow  Aw Just wants someone who wants my company :(  Ok dude this is so good??????  This is literally so good?  DRUMS HELLO IM HYPE  Very last drops of an ink pen  This is so good????? BUT EVEN STATUES CRUMBLE IF THEYRE MADE TO WAIT Greige Aw So someone will tell me itll be okay Is that string instrument?? This song is the version of the hello god its me when will it be my turn meme Omg vocals wow that was magical  REminds me of seven

27. Cassandra Placing daydreams  PIANOOOOOOOOOO Omg in ym tower weaving nightmares? They say what doesnt kill you makes you aware what happens if it becomes who you are  Payroll line is like the vibe i thought my boy etc wouldve sounded  Omg no one heard NICE SNAKES omg i understand  Do you believe me now omg  A mourning warning no one heard wow  Omg she sang so low how does she do that

28. Peter Oh i LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE this piano  I wanna learn it  This is self written  Omg peter pan???  Promises ocean deep but never to keep Is the sound muffled I LOVE THAT OLD TIEMY 25???  Oh shelf life omg  Lost to the lost boys chapter of your life !! Oooo the way she sang the light speak now vibe  I really love the piano  the repetition is an interesting choice i need my brain to process it and figure out what it mean

29. The Bolter I like the soun I like story :)  Cute melody  Oh WHORE ok!! caught me off guard ngl  lmaoo  As she was leaving it felt like breathing !!!!!!!!!!!!!! Making him care oh All roses portrait poses omg  LOL what a charming saturday!  Oooooooooo littlest leaks  races/aces sound nice  Escape in escaping nice  Hands around each others shoulders and swaying to the beat and singing lmao  Then i would jump abt all her lives lol  Sounds nice 

30. Robin Pinnano Her voice sounds so clean and smooth  Omg thats the aaron beat  Wow deep voice Her range  Aaron guitar sounds or is tha tbass  Looooooooooooooooooooooong may you roar  In sweetness  tiger…WOODS?  Tbh idk whats happening in terms of lyrics i am not processing them right now but her voice is pretty  This is about a child? And childhood before you are CORRUPTED ? owwie :( wholesome :(

31. The Manuscript PINNANO Good voice i like I love the story tellin  Is this the first time she said sex  I eat kids cereal  Oh :( owwie Aaron sounds  Good vocal omg One last souvenir  Oh but the story isnt mine anymore wow!!!  What a journey! 

this album is incredible

[monstersliveinthemirror]

My TTPD First Listen Reactions:

1. Fortnight: ~what about your quiet treason~ HAHAH THIS HURTS BECAUSE HE MOVED TO FLORIDA WITH HIS WIFE 😂😭 

2. The tortured poets department: I definitely feel like I would like this more if I was stoned rn. ~who's gonna know you like me!!!!!~ ~sometimes I wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me~

3. My boy only breaks his favorite toys: the delusion of "I'll tell you that he runs because he loves me" okay 😭😭 he saw forever so he smashed it up in ONCE I FIX ME HE'S GONNA MISS ME ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

4. Down bad: what an accurate break up song lmao. ~fuck you if I can't have us~

5. So long London: "and I'm pissed off you let me give all that youth for free" yeah fuck me spending my 20s in love with you 😡😡 

6. But Daddy I love him: I wish I had this song when I was 15 and rebellious also is this song about fucking swifties who lost it when she and Matty were together 

7. Fresh out of the slammer: this song broke me. "All those night she kept me going SWIRLED YOU INTO ALL MY POEMS" 😭. (But also I really am not a fan of the weird beat change toward the end??)

8. Florida!!!: fuck me up Florida fr. I think this might be my favorite??

9. Guilty as sin?: I am going to throw up. They don't know you how you've haunted me so stunningly. I choose you and me, religiously 😭😭😭😭 am I allow to cry????? 

10. Who's afraid of little old me?: this one is gonna have to grow on me, I think. Okay actually now that I'm into it, it's grown on me lmao

11. I can fix him (no really I can): this is...okay. just okay.

12. Loml: literally crying immediately. "I felt a glow like this, never before and never since" 😭 "I felt a hole like this, never before and ever since" 😭😭😭 LOSS OF MY LIFE??? This fuckin broke me.

13. I can do it with a broken heart: holy whiplash. A BOP????? Incredible. Wow. I love this. Thanks for rubbing how much better you are than me in my face Taylor lmao

14. The smallest man who ever lived: verse three makes this song tbh. 

15. The alchemy: aw I miss that happy in love everything is meant to be feeling.

16. Clara Bow: promise to be dazzling (I need a pinky promise emoji) the outro 🥺🥺🥺🥺

----

17. The Black Dog: "and I may never open up the way I did for you" 😭😭😭 holy fuck just break me why don't you. "I still can't believe it" 

18. imgonnagetyouback: Olivia Rodrigo has the chance to do the funniest thing ever here lmaoooo "say you got someone else say I got someone too" wow wow wow PICK YOUR POISON BABE I'M POISON EITHER WAY????!!!!!

19. The Albatross: I don't think I have anymore coherent thoughts right now but I dig it??

20. Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus: cause I wonder will I always wonder????????? 🥺 

21. How did it end? I really wanted to like this one but I'm not there yet lol the tempo is just weird 

22. So high school: this is so cute omg

23. I hate it here: I'm lonely but I'm good I'm bitter but I swear I'm fine.......this place made me feel worthless. It's ok I don't live in Charleston anymore. 

24. thanK you aIME: IMAGINE ANDREA SWIFT HATING YOU I really like this one it's kinda like mean 

25. I look in people's windows: "I'm afflicted by the not knowing" babe me too "does it feel alright to not know me I'm addicted to the "if only"" SCREAMING. 

26. The prophecy: fuck man fuck fuck fuck. 

27. Cassandra: oh this is for the Greek mythology girlies huh? Alright I'm in.

28. Peter: yes babe more piano pls hahah do you know how long it took me to realize this was referencing Peter Pan I'm so dumb 

29. The Bolter: "excellent fun 'til you get to know her" me too.  

30. Robin: this one is really sweet omg

31. The Manuscript: but the story isn't mine anymore 🥺

[sinkix]

Haikyuu!!│Boys going grocery shopping w/ you! HC’s│Ft. Bokuto, Nishinoya, Terushima, Kuroo & Kunimi

I had this late night idea and just HAD to follow through, the chaos would be O F F T H E C H A R T S. Thank you to @deathcab4daddy​ for helping me brainstorm some good characters for this post lmao I love you bby and can’t wait to do a collab. <3

E N J O Y ~ 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

BOKUTO:

WHEN I TELL YOU THIS BOI PICKS UP EVERYTHING IN SIGHT LIKE A 6 YEAR OLD

 I FUCKING MEAN IT.

“(Y/N) we need this” 

“Bokuto we do not need a 7th jar of peanut butter.”

 “But (Y/N) it has a squirrel on the front-”

“BOKUTO I SWEAR TO GOD”

Tries to drift on the edge of the cart like something straight outta CSGO and the cart nearly obliterates under his weight.

V e r y l o u d u n e c c e s s a r i l y.

Everyone always stares at y’all when you’re going through the isles bc ur literally escorting a man-child sprawled in a shopping cart who’s going “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” at everything he sees like he’s a toddler at the zoo who’s never encountered a chimpanzee before.

Unless you have a bottomless bank account do NOT take him shopping of any kind he is LETHAL.

When you’re at the check-out he turns it into a basketball competition and tries to launch everything perfectly on to the conveyor belt.

Volleyball player? Nah this sis with the NBA now.

Do not ask him to go get something, he will return with at least 9 items you didn’t need and everything BUT the item you requested

He turned up with a whole ass pineapple, a jar of jam, a stick of butter and a bottle of olive oil.

Like,,,where is the correlation in those items???

Once made the mistake of asking him to grab some pads from the hygiene section and specified it HAD to be with wings

Boy showed up ten minutes later and looking very confuzzled.

You questioned why he has a pack of wingless pads in one hand and a can of red bull in the other.

He said it’s because they didn’t have any with wings so he figured the Redbull would suffice and do the job for you.

i-

NISHINOYA:

Can literally fit him in the little cart seat made for kids and he LOVES it lmaoooo IT’S SO CUTE MY HEART.

HE JUST SWINGS HIS LEGS EXCITABLY WHILE YOUR GETTING STUFF AAAAAAA

Ppl give you such weird looks though bc you have a guy who’s at least 14 years older than the intended demographic sitting there and raising his hands in elation over you copping a cookie dough pie and chucking it in.

Again, another who is VERY LOUD FOR NO REASON AT ALL.

Get’s out of the cart after a while bc his legs be growing numb and begins roaming around.

Someone came back with a feral Noya in hand stating “Is this your child” WNDKJWEFNWJEF.

M’AM HE’S LIKE 18 EXCUSE YOU.

Was salty about it for the rest of the day.

Just ruffle his hair and call him Senpai 

Problem solved.

Picks up tons of exotic fruit that look more like plastic or fuzzy poisonous plants and begs you to get them.

“Noya what the fuck is that.”

“...a Pitaya.”

“...”

“Can we get it-”

“no.”

“(Y/N)-”

“I SAID NO DAMMIT”

Last time you bought some strange fruit he took it to practise and got Tanaka to spike it LMAOOO

IT SPLATTERED E V E R Y W H E R E

AND OVER DAICHI’S SHIRT.

He begged you to no longer allow Noya to purchase weird fruits from then on since he is like a child with a nerf gun.

He once picked up a phat wrinkly purple fruit and turned to you asking if it was an overgrown raisin.

“Noya sweetie that’s a Date.”

HE FULLY TSK’ED AND THREW IT BACK SINCE IT REMINDED HIM OF DATE TECH I CAN’T.

My boy out here defending Asahi even in the Grocery Isles.

We stan a loyal king.

TERUSHIMA:

Another one who tries to stand on the ledge and the cart wheels almost collapse because it wasn’t designed to hold the weight of a young adult.

Oh young adult??? Sorry I mean’t MAN CHILD.

He treats a shopping experience as a time to practise his aim apparently because he ALWAYS THROWS SHIT AT YOU TO THE POINT YOU’RE THREATENED TO BE KICKED OUT.

Definitely picks up phallic looking objects and places them against his crotch, snorting and saying “Like what you see (Y/N)?”

Homeboy is stood there in front of a wife and child presenting his cucumber appendage for the world to see.

He once grabbed a pair of fat ass melons and pressed them against his chest, shaking them and belting the lyrics to ‘My Milkshake’ while begging you to SQUEEZE HIS MELONS.

“Look (Y/N) they’re bigger than yours!”

I just- 

I give up.

Constantly tries to sneak mutli-packs of energy drinks into the cart to the point you’re convinced he is going to keel over from heart failure and kidney stones by the age of 20.

Has his airpods in 90% of the time and treats the isles as his personal dance floor.

He busting them MOVES and performing the MJ moonwalk while in the dairy section.

ONCE HE SLID TOO FAST AND SLIPPED ON HIS REAR IN FRONT OF LIKE 12 PEOPLE LMAOO

He was DEAD silent the rest of the trip.

Probably the most serene shopping experience you’ve had to date.

The checkout clerks occasionally hit on Mr. Sore-Ass over here.

Until he opens his mouth and they realise he’s a total dolt and question how you have the patience for him.

You don’t know either honestly.

The whole bagging experience is spent with them shooting you sympathetic glances as if to say ‘sis you shoulda’ left him at home’.

Yes, yes you should have.

Never a dull moment with Teru as your shopping partner.

KUROO:

LITERALLY LIKE A MIDDLE-AGED MAN OR A TODDLER WHEN Y’ALL GO SHOPPING THERE IS NEVER AN EVEN MIDDLE-GROUND.

Frequently cracks lame-ass food puns or dad jokes that make you want to crawl into a hole and die.

You have competitions on who can come up with the most and the loser always faces a penalty.

Kuroo and creating penalties do NOT mix safely so you better hope you win.

“I love you a waffle lot.” 

Proceeds to hold up a wrapped waffle.

Ok that one was kinda cute you’ll let it slide.

“I ap-peach-iate you Kuroo.”

Cue HyenaLaugh.mp3

“Want a pizza me baby? Bitch peas, doughnut take me lightly.”

You changed your mind.

You didn’t talk to him the duration of that shopping experience, no penalty could be as horrifying as what just came out of his mouth.

“(Y/N)... sometimes I feel like you don’t carrot all.”

You slapped him with said carrot and obviously had to pay for it after.

You forced him to eat it raw.

He is the definition of Neutral disaster when you go shopping.

Shitty food puns aside, he is actually very responsible when making sure you both get what you need.

Not without tons of poking, prodding, and blowing into your ear while you’re trying to decide what ingredients to buy for dinner.

You contemplated serving him a plate of bubbling snot and moulded broccoli seasoned with rosemary.

Bone apple teeth, bitch.

Ofc you didn’t because he always pulls out the puppy eyes and cuddles card after since he knows he’s well and truly rattled your patience lmao.

Actually picks really healthy food options?? Being the captain of a team he has the responsibility of keeping his health in top condition and leading by example so at least he knows the right ingredients to make a bomb-ass and nutritious meal ig.

Y’all always bicker and tease each other at the checkout which is usually great amusement for the clerk serving you as they often smirk and perceive you as an old married couple.

Which tbh you kinda are, it feels like it at least.

Still such a big asshole though lmao you never leave the store without your sanity being scathed.

KUNIMI:

Honestly just wanted an excuse to make jokes at the expense of the Aoba Johsai teammates.

and what better candidate for cracking these than Kunimi.

He’s a very chill partner to have tag along with you on your endeavours.

Not without some grumbling and groaning on his part though, lazy bitch.

You always finish shopping trips with a busted lung at how much you have been laughing though with some of the SHADY ASS REMARKS HE MAKES ABOUT THE OTHER TEAM MATES.

You were outside the store when you both spotted an angry looking Doberman tied to a nearby post.

“Smh who let Kyotani outside again.”

You hadn’t even set foot in the store yet and he was already spitting flaming insults.

[Walking up to the automatic double doors]

“Damn Oikawa move out of my way.”

Oikawa just tryna live and he keeps getting roasted for his flat cheeks 

#StopOikawaAssShaming

Ten minutes of scouring the store later he picks up a spikey Kiwano and compares it to Iwaizumi’s hair.

Proceeds to beg you not to tell my boy Iwa because he KNOWS he will get decked to the gym floor.

Passers by often wonder why you’re wheezing and producing noises like a boiling kettle.

When I tell you no one is safe, I mean N O O N E.

“These Yule logs really out here looking like Matsukawa’s brows.”

The finisher was when Kunimi picked up a turnip and said 

“Huh, kinda looks like Kindaichi.”

I just-

He could roast a whole chicken in minutes from the burn of these comments I stg.

You can now never look at the Seijou team without various foods or inanimate objects plaguing your thoughts.

Thanks, Kunimi.

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issue 9

back at it again, and its time for the shadowplay arc, HELL yeah

oh I'm so excited i love this arc lets DO this

oooh its nightbeat and quark!! way before they become relevant, which is so cool

‘one of those recepticon fanatics’ lmao imagine if they were...the recepticons. just doesn't have the same ring to it 

god i fucking love all the politics of mtmte. i love how they’re talking about the senate here before we really get to See how bad they were (we heard a bit about it from whirl a few issues ago, and now here)

love how nightbeat is pretty much agreeing with the decepticon ideology here, even if its clear that he isn't Actually a decepticon - it just drives home the fact that, in this story, The Decepticons Were Right About A Lot Of That Stuff (or at least, they had a reason other than ‘destruction’ for rebelling). 

AND THEN THERES RUNG!!!!!!! WITH HIS MODEL OF THE LOST LIGHT....god i fuckgin LOVE the continuity in this story bc the first time reading this ur like oh ok rung is old yea makes sense...but then later all the time travel stuff happens and then its like OHHHHH 

damn poor rung nightbeat can rlly tell he's lonely just by looking at him vbhjdkdfhbjsjkdf geez. also nightbeat that's ur mystery stick bf from the future js!!

quarks extreme POV on all of the stuff is so interesting, and makes so much sense bc of Course he would think that as a non-combatant scientist who, due to his functional value in current society, wouldn't really benefit much from a revolution - in fact, he’d probably lose a lot. and that’s the sort of thing where you’re like, ok well think about everyone else dude, have some perspective - but at the same time, quark did suffer a pretty terrible fate, so his fears weren't entirely unfounded...augh, its so fascinating...im sorry I'm not gonna shut up about space robot politics this Entire time

HOW did nobody notice that dead body before now

ratchet spray-painting the hands he stole from pharma to match his own paintjob is like...kinda gruesome if you think about it hvbhsjkdfbkjdf

i love rewind sooo much oh my god 

he rlly stashed rung’s comatose body in a wheelchair behind the bar hbkjdhfbshjkdf rewind 

rewind and chromedome’s tag-team explanation....ough hhhhh THEM 

wait a sec, rewind, you have medical records in your database? that is, at least according to regular medical laws, very illegal lmao. my favorite long-running theme in mtmte: the fact that hipaa and osha laws on cybertron are either basically nonexistent, or just universally disregarded 

what the actual fuck is up w/cybertronian time units. that shit is wack as hell 

ooh i love how chromedome looks different in the flashback - no shoulder tires! - that's a cool detail

how come prowl just said ‘minute,’ rewind was busting it up w/all the wack ass fantasy time units just a second ago. geez

also goddd i love the scenery of pre-war cybertron, its SUCH a cool setting like, visually and aesthetically and politically

like, i adore details like the sign in the bg that says ‘everyone’s shape serves a purpose.’ really adds to the ‘society on the precipice of civil war currently controlled by an increasingly-desperate faction who are doling out propaganda like crazy in an attempt to maintain their image and control over the populace’ vibe

good ole murder mystery setup. love it!

pre-war prowl is such an interesting character. actually prowl in general is such an interesting character...I kinda wrote him off during my first read of mtmte (and even a little during my second readthru) as just this dude who’s an asshole (espec bc my prev tf experience involved watching tfa as a kid, and this prowl is very different from tfa prowl lol)...but prowl is SUCH a multi-faceted and interesting character, even in the relatively little we see of him in mtmte 

plus it was interesting to learn later that prowl was one of the characters that jro wanted for mtmte and didn't get, and MAN i wish he got prowl bc I would've loved to see what jro would've done w/prowl on the lost light, that would've been amazing. like, just imagine the arc he would have...I have no idea what that arc would BE, but I know it would be awesome. plus I’d be really interested to see how prowl would factor in, relationships-wise, amongst the crew of the lost light. so much potential!

anyways. I'm in a very talky mood tonight it seems. its currently 4 am so that kinda explains it. ok, moving on!

chromedome and prowl bantering....in their own morbid forensic-cop way...

skids bvhjdbsfjasf. speaking what we’re all thinking: is prowl gonna keep showing up in mtmte despite not technically being part of the cast??

swerves drawing of prowl lmaoooo

AND THEN REWIND IN SOME OF MY FAVORITE MTMTE PANELS....fuckgin cracks me up every time god. rewind was rlly about to flip their entire ass table just to demonstrate that prowl is a serial table-flipper...and then he cant even make the table budge and he just stares at his hands like ‘how could you betray me like this’ hvbajkhhsfdhksdf PEAK hilarity

drift hvbshfdjbasdfj his forcibly cheery expression even tho he’s being harassed by rodimus, who is a big whiny toddler w/drift lmao 

rodimus is the type of guy who, upon drift not replying to one of his texts, would post a whole twitter thread being all like ‘these days u cant trust any1 to hav ur back...u think u kno someone and then they just ghost you...(1/14)’

again, rewind, HOW and WHY do you just Have medical reports, oh my god, somebody please call a hipaa agent I’m scared, 

ratchet interrupting the story to give a quick medical PSA....that's Such an on-brand thing for Me to do that I feel like jro is assigning me ratchet kin as I read this

also, hey, its sonic and boom, those two decepticons from delphi! nice little continuity there

AND HERES ORION PAX SUPER COP

can’t believe idw made my dad optimus prime into a cop. smh. shouldn't be that shocked tho, I feel like half the idw characters are cops

orion rlly hit them w/the omae wa mo shinderu arrest strat

orion: I cant believe you're beating this guy up. anyways, now I'm gonna beat YOU up,

when ratchet puts his hand over drifts mouth and then gets spray paint on drifts face bhjdfsvsdjhfgbjdskf

pre-war ratchet and drift ;_; ratchet’s little inspirational speech...the fact that he tells drift that he’s special...the fact that drift remembered all of this even after 4 million+ yrs...it gets me bro it GETS me

ALSO the layers in the fact that drift then goes on to become a well-known murderous decepticon...so this little scene of him and ratchet in the past gives a lot of context to ratchet’s general attitude towards drift - ratchet clearly feels at least somewhat responsible for all the blood on drift’s hands, since he saved drift’s life way back in the day

the whole relinquishment clinic thing is such cool worldbuilding, bc of course that's the kind of thing that would develop in a society of robot aliens who are only allowed to work within the rigid confines of their alt mode 

I love the whole matrix thing bc its kinda like being the pope or st but also you have a ton of political sway, so its a super important position, so of Course the corrupt senate would want full control over that power, and would assassinate the current prime to try to get their own guy in 

god vhbhjsdkbgshjdf rodimus is such a dick lmao poor drift

HHHHH I love that the cybertronian version of an autopsy is taking the dudes body apart into the smallest components and laying them all out. that's so fucking cool

hmmmm chromedome maybe you should Not be interested in mnemology, how about that,

oh god. time to start being sad about op and senator shockwave. oh god

senator shockwave more like senator sexy 

also the first time I read this I thought I had just missed his name and like halfway thru the story I went back and scoured the pages looking for it hbvhsjdfbshgfdsbj then I was like oh ok so we’re maybe supposed to just know who this guy is from another comic? but NOPE it was very deliberate and I only realized very close to the end that they were setting up some sort of reveal

its funny bc normally I'm not a huge fan of stories where politics play a huge role but I fuckgin love it here, the politics and worldbuilding is all so interesting and also balanced out with a healthy dose of cool sci-fi hijinks, so

lmao there's chromedome being obsessed w/people making the ‘pfft’ sound 

also wow yet more hindsight, maybe you Shouldn’t be so interested in the Institute, chromedome, 

OHHHH shit I forgot abt the red alert stuff happening at the same time as this :( :( :( 

AUGHHH what a fucked up situation. god 

oooof i gotta continue now!! what a solid issue, I love the shadowplay arc

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 08.08.17 lb

plain text version here. 

angsty billu is angsty. 😊😊😊

lol “bas suggestion diya tha maine.” bhai, aise ghatiya suggestions dete hi kyun ho??? 😂😂😂

oh ho billu, you and your misplaced overconfidence. you know you always fail in the matter of this girl. she never reacts as predicted. 😕😕😕

god, i wish shivaay would be MY wedding planner, if such a miracle ever occurred. it sounds like a dream to just show up looking pretty and do the pheras, while all the hard bits are handled (and paid for) by someone else! 😊😊😊 

oh no. puppy eyes. PUPPY EYES. *avoids looking at him* 😣😣😣

“agar yeh mazaak hai, toh bol do.” 

oh my god. the amount of hope in his eyes and voice. he looks like a  baby, suddenly impossibly young and so so vulnerable. 😟😟😟

GIRL. YOU ALREADY KNOW USSE FARAQ PADTA HAI. BUT STILL YOU USE ‘EM FIGHTING WORDS. 😣😣😣

oh hooooooooo, billlllllllu, YOU TOLD HER TWICE ALREADY THAT FARAQ PADTA HAI, WHAT’S ONCE MORE??? JUST TELL HER. 😫😫😫

NOPE. OF COURSE YOU DIDN’T LISTEN TO ME. 😑😑😑

THESE TWO AND THEIR FARAQ. OUFF. FA(RA)Q YOU BOTH. FA(RA)Q YOU BOTH TO HELL AND BACK. 😒😒😒

OH GOD, STOP PROVOKING HERRRRRRRR. 😣😣😣

... look at their faces. just... look at their faces. she’s devastated that he doesn’t care, but her face is under iron clad control. but, him - businessman of the year, dealmaker extraordinaire, he can’t help but have his feelings screaming in all caps neon lettering on his face. these two. fucking idiots. 😥😥😥��😭😭

“we’ll call it off...  i’ll take care of all of it. i’ll take care of it.” 

oh my heart, the desperation and cajoling in his voice. he just wants this game to end, but he doesn’t want to lose either. 😔😔😔

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO “YEH TOH SACH MEIN SHAADI KARNE KO TAIYYAAAR HO GAYI!!!!” *furiously follows her* 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

bitchhhhhhhhhh, i told you not to fucking test her! ab bhugat. vikram ko tune hi laaya hua hai, i’m pretty sure, but she’s so adiyal ki she’ll marry ANYONE to spite you at this point. 🙃🙃🙃

bulbullllllll, please DO NOT, DO NOTTTTTT call him. please girl. come on. 😫😫😫

WHEN YOU KNOW HE AND HIS PLANS ARE BEWAKOOF, WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU LISTENING TO HIM? GOD. 😒😒😒

oh boyyyyyyyyy. rudra is in trouble. 🙃🙃🙃

most unrealistic thing here is that they’re going so easy on him and beating him with PILLOWS. real brothers fight with fists. what kinda namby pamby nonsense is this???? 🙄🙄🙄

lmao rudra raising his hand mid-beatdown to answer the question like he’s in school. 🙋🏽🙋🏽🙋🏽

HOW IS POOR RUDRA RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU TWO ASSHOLES BEING BAD HUSBANDS??????????? 😒😒😒

BEAT THE SNOT OUTTA THESE TWO, RUDY. I’LL HOLD THE LITTLE ONE DOWN FOR YA. *tackles shivaay* 😤😤😤

okaaaaaay. abrupt scene transition. 😐😐😐

married ppl, plz confirm, this is the true depiction of marriage, no? that they were just in the most angsty fight ever 15 minutes ago, and now she’s like YEH KYA HOOLIA BANA RAKHA HAI? 😟😟😟

omggggg “aise lag rahe hai jaise bheege kauwe ko kisi ne blow dry kiya ho” hahahahahaha 🤣🤣🤣🤣

wow. ok. straight to “lemme fix that for you, babe.”

his O RLY??????? look tho. 😯😯😯

oh wowwww, he’s actually waiting for her to fix his hair for him! 😧😧😧 she’s allowed to touch his hair now! what a momentous leap in their relationship. THIS IS PRACTICALLY THIRD BASE IN SHIVIKA TERMS!!!!!!!!!! ab toh bas sex hi bacha hai, physical intimacy wise. 😌😌😌

“ab mera haq nahi hai yeh sab karne ka.”  “oh right. tumhare saare farz aur haq ab tumhare fiance ke liye hai ab.”

don’t you get all snarky on her. she can say the same thing, that you should go ask RAGINI to fix your damn hair. 😒😒😒

I AM HUSBAND. I HOLD HAND. *ALPHA MALE ROAAAAAAAAAAAR*

“kis haq se aapne mera haath pakda hai?”

i’m soooooo glad anika’s not making this easy on him. 😊😊😊

tadi waala shoulder to shoulder talking. haven’t seen this pose in this show for a long time!!! 

my godddddddd, the amountttt of roundaboutttttt talkingggg, it’s making my head hurt. 😣😣😣

“is this what you want.” “it is what i want if you want it.” “i want it if you want me to want it.” JFC. 😑😑😑

since gauri isn’t here, i’m glad at least bhavya is here for anika. i’ll take any girly bonding! 👯🏽👯🏽👯🏽

oh bhavya, you’re sweet and very well-intentioned, but you’re new here and you don’t know shivaay’s tadi and levels of zidddddd. 😕😕😕

aaaaaaaaaaand bhaiyya just proved me right. OUFFFFFFFFF BILLU!!!!!!!!!!!!! TANG AA GAYI HOON MAIN TUMSE. 😫😫😫

don’t fucking tell me, that even BHAVYA knows the truth about shivaay. 😣😣😣

lmaoooo om’s snarky “nahiiiiiiii, tadi bhi toh zaroori hai!” 😂😂😂

YES, PLEASE, DO SOMETHING YOU LITTLE SHITS. 😫😫😫

OH MY HEART, RUDY CALLING GAURI AND SAYING SHE’S THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN STOP SHIVAAY!!!!!!!!!!!! (OVER HIS OWN SISTER PRINKUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!! OVER HIMSELF AND OM!!!!!!!!!!!) 😯😯😯

shivaay and gauri share the purestttttttt love in this show (up there with rudra - anika) and i’m just so overwhelmed with feelings. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

bhavya’s just straight up stolen a canvas and easel from om and set up one rather 2 rs conspiracy board. 😐😐😐

@ilovefusion i was wondering about her weird dupatta-jacket combo yest too. turns out it isn’t a dupatta, just a weird sleeve. this girl’s fashion is truly bizarre. 😕😕😕

GOD RUDRA, ITNAAAAAAAAAA SHAUK HAI DUSRON KA KAAM KARNE KA, THEN GO TO OFFICE INSTEAD OF SHIVAAY. LORD KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK OBEROI INDUSTRIES KA HAAL IS NOW, WITH SHIVAAY OFF PLAYING WEDDING PLANNER, AND YOUR DAD ACTING LIKE A GHOST. 😒😒😒

i literally want to smack rudra for not taking NO for an answer no matter how many times it’s been told to him. 👋🏽👋🏽👋🏽 (oneeee tightttt slap emoji.)

btw anyone here old enough to remember this random little program on mtv india called ONE TIGHT SLAP??? little 30 second - 1 minute clips of typically desi annoying ppl who deserve to get slapped? i still say the words “one tight slap” in the same tone as the announcer used to say it. (youtube it.) 

“baat karni zaroori hai kya?”

never thought i’d say this, but i’m hella relating to bhavya, my dudes. i too, like to spend my days with a minimum amount of words spoken out loud. 🤐🤐🤐

god this scene is so forced. i just want him to leave her aloneeeee. 😫😫😫

BITCH WHAT ABOUT YOUR DAMN WIFE?????????? 😤😤😤

chaubis? abbe oh, you’re only 23. are you counting the 9 months as a fetus? you learnt your womanizing ways in vitro from your dad like abhimanyu learnt the chakravyuh maneuver??? 😒😒😒

oh. we finally have an age for bhavya. 27. same as om (?)

kudos to them for having a couple where the girl is older, but like really... she could do SO MUCH BETTER? why is she even hanging out with a man baby like him? 🤔🤔🤔

what the fuck is even happening? like... that wasn’t a romantic moment or anything. 😕😕😕

ugh, i hate this song. 😒😒😒

bored af, so fwding. ⏩⏩⏩

SOMEONE EXPLAIN TO ME WHY ANIKA IS HANGING OUT IN HIS ROOM ALL THE TIME WHEN SHE’S STAYING IN ANOTHER ROOM. 😒😒😒

nopeeeeeeeeeeeee,  not shivaaaay. wazzaaaa ragini! 😆😆😆

lol ragini is so casualllll and nonchalant. i’m fucking loving it. 😂😂😂

omfg ragini planning double dates in the future! I LOVE HER!!!! 😂😂😂

godddd, dadi and pinky are in the house? ugh. itne din se shanti thiiiiii. 😣😣😣

“sabka dimaag kharab ho gaya hai. koi kuch bhi kar raha hai.” 

that’s it. that’s the whole show. you’re all caught up on 300+ episodes. you’re welcome. 😌😌😌

bechaara om. akele ladega in sab paglon se. bhagwan mere bachche ko shakti de. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

speaking of shakti, where is he? why isn’t he here to say a few choice stern words at his crazyass son? 😐😐😐

as usual, righteously angry om is hella hot and turning me onnnnn. ouff. 😍😍😍

shivaay didn’t bother telling omRu also. waah. new level of sneakiness. 😯😯😯

rudra is already onnnnn it, bruh. he called in the most effective reinforcements last night itself. watch the bulbul fly in and sweetlyyyyy placate bade bhaiyya and bhaujai. 😚😚😚😇😇😇

tu kahan tadi chod rahi hai, jo usko chodne ko keh rahi hai. maro dono, bewakoof. 😒😒😒

oh great. pinky is here. 😐😐😐

tumhare bete ne hi order kiya hai yeh horrible pheeka... whatever this is. jaake usko bol. 😒😒😒

blah blah blah blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, pinky. 🙄🙄🙄

oooooooh, anika has HAD. ENOUGH. time for pinkyyyyy to hear some kadwaaaa sach. ✋🏽✋🏽✋🏽

“PYAAR SHIVAAY SE HAI. AUR HAMESHA RAHEGA.” 

bitch, tell HIM that. not his snotty mom. 😒😒😒

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS BITCH!!!!!!!!!! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

blah blah blah bhavya’s mission. really don’t care. 🙄🙄🙄

lol om pacing in frustration at EVERYONE in his life. 😆😆😆

ASSHOLE, KYUN, TERE PHONE MEIN OUTGOING CALLS NAHI LAGTE KYA? TU BHI TOH PHONE KAR SAKTA HAI. 😒😒😒

watch the bulbullllll waltz in like a bawssssse bitchhhh. 😎😎😎

OH GOD NO NOT THIS HORRIBLE CANDY TRICK AGAIN. 😫😫😫

ok that SHOULD have fully broken the mirror. 😐😐😐

OH MY HEART, HIS FACE. LOOK AT HIS SMILE. I KNOW I SHOULD BE MAD AT HIM BUT OMG HIS FAAAAAAAAAAAAACE. 😭😭😭😭😭

LOOK AT HIM LOOKING AT HER, DUDES. HOLY HEART EYES. 😍😍😍

meanwhile queen be like “bitch, you really ain’t all that. met quite the few hot boys in pune, got 43 proposals already. watch your back.”

should have thrown it directly at his head like you did at shivaay’s in that first mahasangam ep, gauri. kam se kam this one’s brain would have been jolted and he’d start thinking straight. 😒😒😒

YES ONLY AS BAHU. meaning, STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME. AND MY HEART. 🙅🏽🙅🏽🙅🏽🙅🏽

tune maafi maangi hi kahaan, maaf karne ke liye. 😤😤😤

what the fuck is wrong with this boss of bhavya’s. he’s so.... random. 😕😕😕 

oh boy. bhavya’s car is the one that’s gonna blow up with shivaay in it??? 😬😬😬

this rudy - chiraiyya alliance is the stuff that omki’s nightmares are made of. 🙃🙃🙃

lmao, yeh kaunse vasco de gama ki gun hai (kiske mama ki gun hai??? 😂😂😂😂😂😂) that this sultan is using??? 🤣🤣🤣

oh god. tomorrow is not only going to be full of rona dhona and family drama, but basically looks like they recycled that ep where shivaay’s chopper blew up. oufffffffff. awaiiii ka boring. 😒😒😒

[survivormontenegro]

Episode 11: “Recalibrate How I’m Playing This Game” - Caeleb

okay I'm writing a long confessional then going to bed.

Jules was robbed. I was really gonna idol them when Jones/Caeleb told me Jules was getting votes, but Jules was only getting 5, and I naively thought both that Jason wasn't going to flip and Tom wouldn't self vote AGAIN ASKDLJFAF.

I'm frustrated because I love Jules. Jules was robbed and deserved better than having to deal with Alex who like will tell Jules they made a mistake and ugh. I'm frustrated that I didn't idol Jules, even though it wouldn't have been smart and would've put me in a tough game spot, its just all super tricky sigh.

in other news, Jones/Mo/Mitch need to go. I'm super proud of Mo for doing something (like genuinely) and not playing passively, I defo underestimated him, but him and Jones have way too much sway on this tribe, tied to Mitch who is clearly able to work people.

I think a good end-group for me would be Me/Benj/Tom/Julia. I really really like Caeleb but he actually is playing super smart, so I really don't think I can have him sticking around much longer.

I think a good new bootlist is: Jones > Mitch > Mo > Jason > Caeleb

I'm just frustrated because Jules was robbed and really did not deserve that, Mo/Jones are too powerful, and now so is Mitch. I'm gonna idol one of them out, and I'm going to love doing it.

Holy fuck what the fuck that worked. Ok so here’s what just went down, Jules said to Jason that she’d be fine voting out either me or Mitch. People were leaning towards Mitch. We had like 20 minutes left and we started discussing and I threw out to Jones, what if we get Jules out, but she kinda ignored it and carried on with the Mitch plan. Because Jules has a lot of connections I can understand why Jones would be hesitant. So then I throw the pitch rob Caeleb and Mitch throws the pitch to Jason and they’re both on board. But that would of only been five people. Meaning it most likely would of tied so we were like ok I guess we’ll just vote Mitch. BUT THEN BENJ GETS ONLINE and he’s like “Yeah I’ll vote Jules.” SO I SCRAMBLE BACK TO CAELEB LIKE WAIT VOTE JULES WE HAVE THE NUMBERS. SAME WITH JONES AND JASON. WE GET JULES OUT. Which of course is sad because she’s literally a sweetheart and she’s super funny, but she had so many people in her corner and her and Ali combined was a scary combo. BUT I MEAN I HAVE A COOL GAME MOVE IN MY POCKET NOW THAT I DID (with Mitch) BUT WOW ME.

Whew chile!!! I must admit that vote was VERY scary and VERY hectic. I thought for a moment my game was ending. Thankfully my social relationships with people allowed me to stay and send the person who was targeting me home (Jules). Now this is GREAT for me because i trusted Jules the least on the merge tribe. The communication thing never worked out between the two of us but i still find her to be a very nice person :). In regards to the vote, Mo/Caeleb, Benj, Jason, and Jones all voted to save me. To me, I feel like this means im in a really good position because everyone likes me enough to SAVE me. Up until 5 minutes before the deadline, I thought i was done for. I gotta be careful with who I work with in the future because my threat level is rising. People in touchy subjects saw me as the one who thinks they are running the game but are not, but man is this far from the truth. I'd like to say that although I didn't know what was going on COMPLETELY, I still pretty much helped/forced the target onto the person who went home. Ian- Told Alex about how I suspected Jason and Ian of being a duo (correct assumption according to ali) and everyone ended up splitting between the two (I did not care who went). Alex- I pushed very hard for alex to go because he was so dang controlling and i found that very threatening. Jules- targeted me first but I never trusted her because of how little we spoke. When she decided to target me it was the icing on the cake. Hopefully these next few rounds are smooth sailing because we NEED easy votes for at least a little bit.

okay so i am trying SO hard for immunity, like its not even funny. i think i have 100+ points right now, with more videos uploading and with more planned photos tomorrow. immunity would be SO sweet, because that'd guarantee me a spot in the F8, and with my idol F7.

in other news. if i haven't said it enough, it must be said again. BENJ IS SUCH A KING. like today he told me he wants to go to F4 with Julia and Tom. I truly, truly could have shed and wept real tears. That is exactly the F4 I want, like EXACTLY ,and Benj agrees, and we are going to make it HAPPEN.

He also wants to separate Mo/Jones this round... and like honestly, I'm so down. Like I think he wants to vote off Mo versus Jones which I think is a bad idea, since Jones is a better talker and more of a threat, but his argument about Jones being a shield makes some sense.

my ideal bootlist moving forwards for the season, although it requires like julia/tom to stick with me and benj pretty tightly, is:

Mo/Jones > Mitch > Jason > Mo/Jones > Caeleb > F4: Me/Tom/Benj/Julia

and also since i love doing this for no reason, this would be my ranking of those left if i was to go to jury this round:

Mitch > Jason > Jones > Benj > Caeleb > Julia > Mo > Tom

Mitch is SO savvy, and so likable, and I could see as a definite winner, having survived so much. I can't decide if Jones is a threat because she is just so likable, or if she is actually palying super well, but I have both her and Jason very high in my opinion. Benj is so smart, I feel like he probably isn't considered as such by the other threats, but I hear him talk game - he is super woke. Caeleb is actually playing a very smart game too, flipping back and forth. I definitely underestimated him in early merge, his MIND. Julia I think is super game-savvy, just her style gets in her own way sometimes. Mo I feel like definitely did stuff last vote, but I see him as Jones' shadow/goat right now so would need to see much more. Tom I'm stuck because him self-voting twice I think almost definitely excludes him from winning so its hard to tell how I'd feel about him in an FTC. the main thing is that... we shall see.

BUT I AM WINNING IMMUNITYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Sending this now bc I forgot. Jason beat me in reward OOPS but I can still possibly win immunity,,,,,? Maybe?

Eek me at jules being voted out, honestly i didnt really know what was going to happen at that tribal for the sole fact that everything started moving whilst i was asleep but im kinda shocked that it ended up being jules.... Like i personally wouldnt have made that move right now maybe in like 2 more rounds. Its quite scary the fact that mitch got so many people to turn on jules when i thought she was quite the loved player. So I've gotta keep an eye out for him he's probably playing the best game atm but i think ill try to take him out sooner rather than later

I think I might have to recalibrate how I’m playing this game. I honestly didn't think I was all that close to Jules so her cursing me kinda surprised me. SO, that means I think a lot of people are gonna be cursing me in the upcoming rounds. Not that I am planning a lot of blindsides, I just feel a lot closer to the people actually left. Julia might be the only one that wouldn't curse me at this point, but also she might because she doesn't like me all that much. And being cursed a bunch might put a really large target on my back too.

y'all i just found another idol im SCREECHING. and its a boujee one too, a sapphire idol. I'm so AHHHHHHHHHHHHH, i know where 2/3 idols are for sure, I'm truly screaming.

This was me an Mitch on call when we realized we had the numbers to vote out Jules

heres the thing, i prefer the selfie scavenger hunt when im on a team because that way im motivated to get stuff done out of fear of letting everyone down. where as by myself, i let myself down all the time. ali is scary good at comps and im lazy.

ALI FOUND THE MERGE IDOL AND ITS A SAPPHIRE IDOL AHHH!!!

IM SO HAPPY FOR HIM/US BUT ALSO LOWKEY PISSED BECAUSE I GET ALL THE BRIDGE STEPS AND THEN HE GETS LUCKY AT THE VERY END LMAO. AGAIN.

BUT OH WELL ATLEAST ITS NOT SOMEONE ELSE!!

And if I had any doubts (I never had) about him betraying me before I have 0 now.. u like have to really trust someone to tell them u have 2 idols LOL I could literally expose so much right now

BUT IM NOT GONNA WOO!!! BEST DUO IVE EVER HAD! Like I know it will be hard to beat him at the end but idc I want that duo story for us

Literally an idol magnet king I knew I chose the best ally on day 1

sapphire idols sound kinda annoying tho cuz u cant choose who its played on . like what if ur plan actually works and u idol the person u wanted gone LOL

lowkey would rather a normal idol ?? anyways ali went off in immunity and its final 9 idk who will go but I kinda want like mo gone (king) but we have no strategic bond so.. plus he will slip by to the end otherwise

I doubt that plan is gonna work tho cuz idk how to lead votes!! im flop sheep!

Update on idol hunt - I'm killing johnny

Update apparently I’m running a vote KSKSKKFMFMFFK take back EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT NOT NEEDING POWER LMAOOOO

ok so Storytime

I’m talking to Tom at like 5:00-6:00 ish, and he says he hasn’t heard anything but he’d be down to vote Julia if other people were voting Julia (at this point this is the only name and it was said by Tom and that’s it)

At this point I tell Mo what Tom said (Bc tom and I were talking about Mo) and he said he wasn’t surprised Julia’s name was brought up

Talk to Mitch at like 7:00 ish and he’s apparenrly being targeted by Ali and for whatever reason I have this hero complex and I wanna save him all of a sudden?? I also feel like he’ll be a big shield down the road that everyone else would want out over me so it makes much more sense to keep him? SO I tell him about Julia.

I Run to Mo, tell him about Julia plan he’s on board. MOs talking to Caeleb, and Jason wouldn’t go behind Mitch’s back. So that’s already 5 people I think voting Julia, 6 if we include Tom and 7 if Benj also knows. Which I’ll probs tell him.

So ya??? Turned an idea into a plan!! I’m doing that y’all. Idk?? I’m proud. I don’t need need this much power after this round or else my ego will be the size of my dick but!!! Idk guys I’m proud of myself.

(Literally only 35 minutes later)

Literally having a stroke tonight laid ease

Uhm apparently Tom/Jason/Ali had an alliance and were trying to get me out and tried throwing me under the bus to Julia and tried saying shit I didn’t say,, so ya,,, :)

Tom tried twisting it like I was the one who threw Julia’s name out bc apparently she’s inactive? Which is cute,, I said jack shit about that. So ya.

Um I’m voting Tom tonight now. I’m an indecisive bitch tho so it might change but. Fuck Tom. We gotta break up this alliance apparently. Julia’s the only person that’s said shit to me this whole day about what’s happening so I’m more likely to believe her than anyone else sooo ya. Fuck Tom. Fuck these men.