#and its something i'm learning to deal with/am okay with dealing with
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"We can get through this by working together, reach out to your friends, community is all we have, a social network will be your security in the world, now is the time to lean on others!"
I do agree, and it's scientifically sound (pretty sure there is data about how people with better social networks live longer and etc) but also....augh..... what about the severe social issues, difficulty to leave the house, physical issues which lead to like zero socialization energy a majority of the time, etc. etc. Social support can be a replacement for structural support, but.. I guess I just wish it didn't have to be. Community is extremely difficult to build, even moreso if you're someone who has issues with social cues or group conversations or even just being around others in the first place. And blah, nuance, of course I'm just complaining or maybe being too negative or maybe misunderstanding, but, I hardly have the energy to brush my hair once every 2 months.. how am I supposed to maintain a wide social network and be active in a Community and Join Groups lol... sometimes it kind of feels like "er.. well if thats my only option then...... ruh roh". It's overwhelming
#Kind of like some post I saw a long time ago talking about how even the meanest shittiest most difficult to get along with#elderly people or whaever still deserve to have some sort of systems in place to support them so they're not just relying on the#grace of relatives or etc. who may not be able to deal with them. Not saying that I'm like mean and cruel or anything#but the fact of the matter is in most social situations either I am compromising or the other person is. Not in like an ~`ouuu im so weirdd#nobody willever understand my quirky swagg hee heee~' way but like a.. Just factually the things that make me happy and comfortable#are often incompatible with people. The way I communicate and process things is different from the way other people do and that#is always a barrier. I cannot have ''easy''' interactions. Even with 'understanding' people there is nearly always a significant#amount of effort. You can't walk into a group of people and then be like ''okay you guys all have to wear#masks and you also cant play music too loud and also we should communicate turns of speaking very clearly so group conversations#arent too stressful. and also i need this and that and we have to do this and that and '' etc. etc. You CAN. And some people will#go along with that. but they will ALWAYS secretly resent you for it. You will be the one person they're relieved to not have to be around.#theyre glad when you dont show up since they can go back to doing things however they want and not masking and all these boring#annoying things. OR you can say none of that and just deal with the loud music and the talking and the unmasked people. but then#YOU'RE compromising. and no matter how nice they are it's exhausting to be around and youre just further alienated#while in the presence of people and uncofmrtoabel the whole time.#Which I'm not saying the only form of community is a group setting specificially but just giving that as an example lol#I just wish there were a better option than ''well learn to socialize normally or just suffer then'' . Which I know is not what people are#saying. I guess I just always feel a bit scared when 'community is the answer'. Since its not like 'oh im just socially anxious and need to#get out of my shell~!' or something thats really that remedy-able. It's like.. my mostly unchangeable physical health issues combined#with the mostly unchangable literal way that my brain processes sensory informationand other things means that interacting with#others in a normal and easy way is incredibly difficult and often exhausting especially to maintain in any longform fashion. So then#when it's like ''the answer to staying safe is to maintain longform social connections!! :3 just reach out!!'' then.. ermm... O_O#also I'm not even one of the cutesy shy emotional hermits that's nervous. I'm the Bad Stereotype emotionless robotic cold seeming#looms in the corner of the room type of thing so people have less pity on you in that way. -_- ANYWAY gghj#I need like.. a designated social representative or something.. When I did work in that bookshop forever ago they gave me a#person who basically was just with me to help communicate with others on my behalf and supervise me and stuff. I need that.. Some#more extraverted person I can latch onto and they can maintain the Social Support Network for me and I can just be their +1 to all#of the Social Things and community. I have helpful skills I can contribute to other people and stuff it's just like.. I cant socialize lol#I cook food or something for you.. then you keep me in contact with Community.. a deal. (but then what about when I'm too sick to#contribute? as is often the case. there's not much place for people like me in communities sometimes i fear.. sigh.) ***
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A silly thing to randomly say maybe but I was thinking about it again. Yall are always free to take silly inspiration from my artstyle/the way I draw. I feel like trying to imitate cool things you see others do in art is a big part of the process in learning how you like to create and do things. So ye, if you ever feel bad for taking some light inspo off of my art aesthetics, don't! As long as you're not outright tracing or reposting, I really don't mind!
#text post#just rambling#sometime thoughts come to my brain and I wanna shout it into the void lmao#so here I am#I FEEL like I've said this before on my blog but it was ages ago during my sun and moon phase#just before my little social media crisis lmao#but ye#you see something I do in art and go “man that looks cool maybe I can do that too” I say go for it#Cause I learned the same way. Still do. I see an artist do something that makes their work pop and I'm like#“hmmm can I soak this into the style I already have to further build onto it?”#I understand not all artists are comfy with their work being taken inspo from. Cause some people get rattled when a style looks identical#when it can be hard to tell the two artists apart#I get that; that specifically isn't super fun to deal with. I admit I've never had to deal with it? But idk.#I personally think its fun the few times I've had people take a little quirk from my art style and starts using it too#but thats just me!!! I'm not everyone#okay ill shut up now
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Cat Tumblr Dashboard Simulator
🖋️ meowful-musings Follow
🕊️ birdwatching Follow
what's wrong with dry food??? my humans feed me it all the time and i think it's fine
💀 elusivehider-deactivated948204
op wheres the natural feeding option
🌲 outdoorsy Follow
you guys are getting fed?
#im a barn cat so maybe im missing something here #meowtthew don't look
7,192 notes
☀️ pawsitive-affurmations Follow
ITS OKAY TO BE A MOGGIE
ITS OKAY TO BE A MOGGIE
YOU ARE NOT LESS VALID IF YOU ARE NOT A SPECIFIC PEDIGREE!!!!!
☀️ pawsitive-affurmations Follow
extra special shout out to cats who have "common" coat colors. grey tabbies and black cats i am rubbing against your head affectionately <3
🪤 m0usetrap01 Follow
as a grey tabby i really needed to hear this :"3
#i feel like i never see positivity posts for moggies even tho we're the most common type of cat....
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🎵 rage-against-the-meowchine Follow
i cant believe there are cats ACTUALLY advocating for kittens to be separated from their mothers before 12 weeks??? kittens still need to learn how to interact with other cats before being placed into their furever home omg you guys know you're advocating for undersocialized and aggressive cats right
❤️ loving-paws284 Follow
um op some of us??? matured early??????? i was separated from my mother at 7 weeks and i turned out fine... interesting how you assume that kittens being separated from their mothers at a younger age will lead to the degeneracy of the next generation...hmm i wonder where i've heard that before...
🐈 fluffy-the-cat Follow
OP got bit too hard during a play-fight as a kitten and it shows XD
🐟 tunafeesh Follow
also op have you ever considered that just because somecat is kind of scared and unable to deal with strange cats or humans, it doesn't mean they don't deserve to be adopted?? you sound like a vet psyop honestly
🎵 rage-against-the-meowchine Follow
oh meow god saying that kittens should be fully weaned before leaving their mother is NOT veterinarian rhetoric and i never said that they deserve to be euthanized!!! my mother literally died when i was 3 weeks old and it seriously messed up my development so stop putting words in my mouth, thanks
anyway friendly reminder that underweaned kittens are prone to illness and often struggle with basic cat behaviors like litterbox usage, and in some nyavinces it's even considered kitten abuse
#discourse #cant believe "kitten abuse is bad" is controversial now
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🍃 naturalliving Follow
BORN TO DIE
WORLD IS A FUCK
猫神 Kill Em All 1989
I am trash cat
410,757,864,530 DEAD BIRDS
#outdoorliving #outdoorcats please interact #outdoorcat friendly
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🎣 salmonpurina Follow
can't believe cats are uncritically reblogging that born to die world is a fuck post. i know it's funny but op is literally an outdoor cat truther
#like cmon now you just have to go to their blog #lulu speaks
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💀 tabbystripes-deactivated098712
gentle reminder that pushing cups off the table is not cute and can cause a lot of distress in your human!!!! gentle reminder that our teeth and claws can easily hurt them more than they can hurt us!!!!
🐰 evil-tabbystripes Follow
evil reminder that the cup should always be pushed off the table. evil reminder that you should always bite and claw at your human no matter what. you can do whatever you want forever
💀 tabbystripes-deactivated098712
make your own pawst
💀 laser-point-deactivated8574721
umm i know a tomcat who did that and his human ended up putting him down so...
👬🏻 nyasunaruenjoyer Follow
Nyaverage shelter cat behavior
#not nyaruto #re-nyab #pickles shut up
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🌈 nyaoi-warrior Follow
saw two male cats sleeping together on the porch today. homeow behavior imo
💡 discourse-meows Follow
hey um what the fuck??? it's really not okay of you to go assuming other cat's sexualities, especially cats you don't even know???? as a queer cat i'm VERYY uncomfortable. real-ass cats didn't consent to your nyaoi fetish, thanks
🌈 nyaoi-warrior Follow
1. i was making. a joak
2. i'm literally gay???
#literally what's your pawblem
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🎩 amazingcatshow12 Follow
reblog if you've ever caught the laser pointer
🎩 amazingcatshow12 Follow
i know you fuckers are lying
🍭 gaykittens Follow
this tom hasn't caught the laser pointer
🎩 amazingcatshow12 Follow
shut the heull up
988,653 notes
🐾 b-e-a-n-t-o-e-s Follow
grey toebeans >>>>>>>>> pink toebeans and don't let the haters make you believe otherwise
🐁 ladymouser Follow
op shut the fuck up ALL toebeans are beautiful!!! just bc you're miserable and insecure doesn't mean you can bring others down based on things they can't control
🐾 b-e-a-n-t-o-e-s Follow
oh so the cat-human separationist wants to preach to us
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Chuck, how do you deal with people who are rude about you and your work? I write queer romance and I want to put my writing out there for people to read, but I'm a very sensitive person and I know it will be hard not to take insults personally and let them affect me. I don't want to let that stop me from expressing myself and sharing my art, but I'm scared!
very good question buckaroo. i am a good example of this as pretty much EVERYONE was rude about my work for many years calling it 'so bad its good' (it is just good) and 'terrible photoshop' (i think it has a great and instantly recognizable style) and 'intentionally stupid premises' (i dont think there is anything stupid about sex being fun and whimsical and playful). even these days the reaction of the VAST majority of buckaroos who discover chuck have this reaction AT FIRST, and then learn to appreciate the tingleverse in a more sincere way over time.
all that is to say BEING DOUBTED HAS WORKED OUT VERY WELL FOR ME. art that changes meaning over time can be very powerful, so if someones initial reaction to my trot is one thing and then it evolves into another thing, well that is just good art. while it can feel bad to get a bad review, i would say a bad review just means you have entered a realm of tension and change and discord and WE ARE TALKIN ABOUT ART BUD so that, in itself, is very exciting.
i think of what i do as 'punk writing', and a big part of that means pushing against preconceived sensibilities. not many other authors will proudly say 'there SHOULD be some spelling errors in my erotic shorts because i wrote it in a day and edited it once. that is the FEELING i want to create', but that is my way. by creating what is in my soul i KNOW i am going to bother some buckaroos and that is okay.
now i am NOT assuming you are also doing punk writing (that is okay of course we all have our own styles. what i am doing with tinglers is pretty rare), but it still stands to remember that there are 7.8 billion people on the planet of this dang timeline and some of them are bound to be bothered by your creations. that is not a problem, that is just part of baring your authentic self.
the other thing to remember is theres no REAL right or wrong in art. it can be analyzed in different ways and i tend to look at it in a way of comparing intention to result, but even THAT is not strictly correct. therefore any bad review of something you make is not actually BAD it is just someones information and feedback for you to take or leave. a one star review is just another opinion, it is no more right or wrong than your own opinion, and that is wonderful. it is freeing.
if i see a bad review of my own book, lets just say CAMP DAMASCUS for instance, i do not get upset because i know this: that reviewer is not wrong. camp damascus is five stars for me, but it is one star for someone else AND THAT IS OK. THAT IS THE WAY IT SHOULD BE. THAT IS GREAT ART. also MAYBE THEY KNOW BETTER THAN I DO. just because i wrote the book does not mean i am the authority on it, and the conversation and tension between those that enjoy something and those that despise it is a creative act. the audience engaging with your work is just your art emerging from its cocoon and saying 'here i am. lets see where i flutter off to now'
do not fear the river of this timeline sweeping away your creations and carrying them where it will. this is inevitable, but it is also beautiful and freeing. you cannot swim against it and that is okay bud, because YOU HAVE ALREADY WON. you have already created something and given a piece of yourself back to this timeline and that is a great honor and privilege. it is literally all there is
by creating ANYTHING you are proving love is real, and that is something to be proud of
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Pairing: Aventurine x reader
Tw: none, he's just skittish but that's understandable. Might have grammatical mistakes but English isn't my first language so whatever. The « » words are supposed to be the avgin dialect okok that's all
"Will you teach me how to speak the Avgin dialect?"
Aventurine nearly splutters out the sip of wine he was about to drink, and you observe as his whole body subtly jerks — trying to figure out if he misheard you or not.
Blink.
Blink.
Blink.
And yet, the only expression he sees on your face is a little smile, a hint of curiosity and optimism in those lovely eyes of yours. For some reason, he can't find it in him to appreciate that look this time.
"And why is that?" The tone of his voice is reserved, calculated, and for a millisecond, you are reminded of your job: meetings, negotiations and transaction. The air suddenly feels thicker, and although he maintains his usual smile, there's a subtle shift that suggests it may not be as genuine as it was moments ago.
"Because I….want to understand you?" You naively respond, unaware of the warnings you're triggering in his head, unaware of the amount of bells ringing in his ears. The red alarms flashing in front of his eyes are bright, and they blind him to everything else, drowning out your silhouette until he can't make out your face as a familiar one.
All he's seeing is red, red of a warning bell, red of sunset and endings, red of blood and—
"I'm not sure why you even thought that would be a good idea" a small chuckle leaves his mouth, and he shifts a little on the couch in an attempt to regain his belongings.
"After all, I don't even speak it anymore— a dead language is not something you'd benefit from learning."
"But I am a linguist" You counter, huffing a bit. "I wouldn't think a language is “less beneficial” just because it's dead. Besides, Sigonian isn't a dead language, and neither is the Avgin dialect. You are here, and you speak it."
Blink.
"What?" Aventurine grows defensive, and he shifts in his seat again; only a little. It's not okay to let others know of your discomfort, you cannot show your weaknesses. Luckily, you don't notice, and he continues carefully.
"I don't speak it— what are you saying? How could I possibly use that language?"
He picks his sentences with caution, leaving half of it up in the air for you to interpret. He can't bring himself to finish it— he can't use it when everyone else who spoke of it is presumably dead. That would only result in another restless night of futile attempts at subduing the void in his heart. Just because he knows it, doesn't mean he likes to think of it.
Aventurine does not like to remember the fact that he's the only one left of the Avgins, even though the cosmos is merciless in its reminders.
"You do speak it!!" You insist, and look into his eyes, and his eyes almost make you forget the rest of your sentence. "—You say things under your breath. When things go south, or when your catcakes do something super adorable and you can't hold a grin on your face. I've seen you multiple times, talking to yourself in an unfamiliar language. It is your mother tongue, is it not?"
Ah.
The words that escape your lips are curling into itself, flickering through the corners of his mind. I've seen you multiple times. Multiple times. Multiple times. Talking to yourself. To yourself. To yourself.
His mother tongue.
Oh, how he wishes he could talk to someone else, how he longs to talk to another Avgin in his mother tongue— in their mother tongue.
"Do I do that?" He inquires, and you affirm, still wearing a smile. Both of you have been smiling at each other, but only one of you is clawing through the walls of their mind trying their best not to leave the room right this moment. You're not an adversary, he reminds himself. You're not an enemy.
"I can't teach you that." He stares in an unusually cold tone, sending shivers down your spine. A tone Aventurine reserves for when a business deal has gone wry, for when he needs to put on his best performance and come back at the top. Unfortunately, this means there's no room for you to argue, no negotiations, no nothing.
You realize a bit too late that you've made him uncomfortable.
"I'm sorry" Apologies keep flowing from your mouth, but Aventurine can barely hear them. All he knows is the warning bells in his ears are growing fainter, and you are once more becoming recognizable, the blur in your face diminishing by the second.
"It's okay," he laughs softly, ruffling your hair to dispel the gloom on your face.
"I don't remember much anyway- I can't teach you anything meaningful, you know? I think Tanti or any of the likes would do much better for your next research material than my native language. We have a reputation across the cosmos anyway, that language can't be intriguing to people."
"Huh?" You tilt your head in confusion, "I'm not going to write a paper on it though???"
"Then what did you want to learn it for?"
"Did you not hear me? I said I wanted to get to know you better."
The feeling of discomfort is back with that, and Aventurine finds himself trying to figure out how to come up with a valid excuse to end the conversation. If he isn't careful, you'll catch on. And if you catch on, you'll keep insisting on trying to understand him, to mend your mistakes and to avoid something similar in future. Then, he'd simply have to cut you off before you go too far. And he'd rather not cut you off and keep you by his side. Yes please, thanks.
You speak once more, but this time you avert your gaze from his eyes and focus on the soft carpet beneath your feet. "If you're not comfortable teaching me, I won't insist. I apologize if I overstepped. I want you to know that my intentions were not malicious. I simply wanted to learn your language so that we could converse in it, and I'm open to sharing my own language with you if you're interested."
Ah. You've now started to speak with more formal and eloquent words than usual, a habit Aventurine has picked up on thanks to observing you for so many years. You always do that when nervous, along with averting eye contact- and you're now anxious.
"it's okay," he reassures you again. "I know what you mean. So no need to worry, hm?"
His words seem to have given you a confidence boost, because your next words catch him off guard again.
"Also, I found your language to be quite beautiful."
"....Beautiful?"
"Yes," you gesture with your hands as you continue, "it's very melodious, you know? I'm familiar with the Sigonian language, as it was one of the languages I studied during my major. However, the Avgin dialect sounds... different. Of course, you're a very quiet mumbler—obviously— and I couldn't understand much- but I've realized that the Avgin is not only is not only significantly different from standard Sigonian, but it also has a much sweeter sound. As a linguist, it's disheartening to think that this sweetness has gone unnoticed by the world."
The initial panic has completely dissipated for Aventurine, replaced by a sadness even he can't place what for. He has half a mind to laugh, and tell you that his people were sweet too, but no one cared for that either. He wants to say of course it sounded sweeter, the standard Sigonian had always been dry and lacking the warmth, any Avgin would agree with you. And yet, he dares not let the dam loose.
Instead of voicing his thoughts, he decides to observe you, as the ringing in his ears has now completely silenced. The you in front of his eyes is meek, likely because you've assumed you overstepped and made him upset. He hates seeing that expression on you: truly, especially when you shouldn't have to feel that guilt. He knows you well enough to know you're not lying, and for a split second— he entertains the idea of sharing the sweetness of his language with you, to have someone else who can understand his tongue.
He decides it's not an entirely uncomfortable thought.
It has been a few weeks since he agreed to teach you the Avgin dialect, and he still finds it surprising that he made that decision. Everything related to the Avgins and their culture is dear to him, including his people, his family, and of course, kakavasha; he protects them with all of his being. However, for some reason, he has chosen to share this delicate and intimate part of himself with you. After all, he is the last known surviving Avgin—this is more than personal; it's his mother tongue, for goodness' sake!
You've proven yourself to be a very very dedicated student, absorbing every piece of information he imparts like a sponge. Aventurine is unsure of how to teach you, as he himself is losing touch with his language thanks to not speaking it for years. Because of you, he now thinks more in Avgin and realizes how much he thought he had forgotten but still remembered, and how much he thought he remembered but had forgotten.
But it's nice, to be greeted in his language whenever you two come across each other. You're still cheerful and sparkling as before, but now you can greet him in his language. «Hello, how's your day going!!!» You ask him each time, with that accent and broken words that makes you sound childish more than anything. But Aventurine could care less about that; he's quick to greet you back each time, adding a new word so you learn something from each interaction.
You've told him that he's much much more expressive whenever speaking Avgin, but he tries not to think about it.
"Manro means bread," Aventurine informs you, observing quietly as you eagerly jot it down in your notepad. "I quite like the feel of pen and paper," you told him once, and he still can't comprehend why that's preferable to typing on a screen instead.
"Mañro?" you repeat, and he has to conceal an affectionate smile at your accent. It's unfamiliar and odd, but not disliked. Never disliked.
"Manro." He corrects, and you get it down this time.
"So….«manro» means bread and you said…«pani» meant water? So let's say I wanna talk about my lunch….«I water with bread eat?» Is that how you say it?"
Aventurine purses his lips, trying to appear serious. "No, it's «I ate bread with water.» But what's with that meal choice? That can't be good for you."
You only huff in response, "hey— I'm still learning okay!! How do you say wine?"
"Mol"
"Mol— how about wanting to drink or taste?"
Aventurine raises an eyebrow, "Zumavel"
"Okok. So…. «I want to taste wine really bad. Might die.»"
Aventurine snickers at that, turning his gaze away to avoid receiving another punch from you. Despite the fact that you've opted for this inefficient learning method—since he can't provide proper grammar lessons—the sentences you're coming up with are hilarious.
"Not quite. It's «I want to drink wine so bad that I might die»" he corrects you again, and you let out an embarrassed laugh to write the correct structure down. You've promised him you'll figure out the grammatical structure and everything to him after all. And he can't say he's not hoping you actually will.
"How do you say eye?"
"Just like how you say in standard Sigonian"
"Ohhh….I've noticed that body part names are usually unchanged in the Avgin dialect. How about warmth?"
"We call it tato" he smiles at you, and your cheeks tint the faintest hue of pink as you look away.
"«Your eyes—»" you purse your lips, thinking hard to form the structure "«-Are warm right now. Very warm.»"
Aventurine's eyes widen, and for a moment he's speechless; unable to comprehend how and why. But you're blushing, and playing with the hem of your shirt, which means at the very least you aren't lying.
«I'm afraid you've become my heart» He says under his breath, the words escaping his mouth before he can even stop them. It tastes sweet in his tongue, memories of a time long gone resurfacing. He didn't even remember that saying, up until now. And now, he has a little more understanding of how sweet his mother tongue really is.
"What does that mean?" You ask him, and he merely smiles at that.
"Nothing. I just said thank you."
A/N : gah I'm sorry for that word vomit I can't stop thinking about it....like one been thinking for months about his language and what it might mean for him now that he's (presumably) the only avgin left. My mother tongue has PLENTY of dialects, and there are certain ones that are totally different from the standard (I don't understand some of those) so I kind of projected....and other than that I hope it wasn't too bad omg
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thank you for all the posts you've made, your takes are always so refreshing to hear.
I want to know your thoughts (if it's okay with you, you can also totally ignore this) about all the "men hate" I see online. like I (poc transmasc non-passing) get it, there are genuine societal gender problems. transmisogyny does exist-women face more challenges than men do. but it genuinely hurts when women, especially trans women, think it's funny/quirky to call men trash or say they want all men dead or whatever. idk I just am hoping someone else understands, you know?
There's a lot of nuances to this question. First, I just want to caution against focusing too much on trans girls as the perpetrators of this. A lot of the asks I get from trans men seem to really fixate on trans women as the perpetrators of hard line gender essentialism. I really think trans girls are not the main people we should be focusing on here. If a trans woman is saying this stuff, take the time to analyze her ideology outside of that pithy comment and consider how much trauma and how little power she has in the world. That said, trans women are affected by this kind of ideology just like us, and they rarely have the power to wield it against others in the way cis people can. I know it hurts to feel isolated by your own community, but that kinda gets into my second point.
Part of dealing with this is learning an impulse progressive cishet dude have had to get used to over the decade. Sometimes, "men are trash" or even "kill all men" are not literal phrases. They are things women say when they're in the throes of trauma to vent their frustration. "Men are trash" in particular is generally pretty lighthearted and used to complain when you have a bad date or something. You have to get used to analyzing what someone actually means and airing on the side of empathy. You, as a man, are the one with some amount of systemic power over that woman, so you are the one who needs to prove you are dedicated to not being a misogynist. The same thing happens when my friends say they hate white people. I have to assume they don't hate me given that I'm their friend, but that I still have some of the negative traits of whiteness. I need to care enough to be a good friend by being anti-racist and checking myself on my behavior. I need to be willing to prioritize their comfort over mine. That includes not becoming this meme:
Now that that's established, there ARE times when "all men are evil and should die" is an actual ideology. It's an ideology that hurts tons of minority groups before it hurts the most powerful, but it's also not really great if we assume it only hurts cishet white guys. Following it to its logical conclusion, it just proposes a reversal of oppression dynamics. This gender essentialism is a key part of radical feminism, trans exclusionary or not, but it leaks out of that community to general feminism all the time.
As a young person on Tumblr and Twitter, this deeply affected me. I internalized the idea that you can "just be a girl." It was repeated by some trans girls, but also a LOT of TME people. It was framed as trans inclusive, but it's trans inclusive in the way "political lesbianism" is lesbian positive. It posits gender as a moral choice that is completely up to the individual and unrelated to biology. It's the lazy version of "gender is a social construct." I felt sick and disgusting for wanting to be a boy because tons of well-meaning friends of mine had made it clear that "being a boy" was a choice, and it was the wrong one. "Boy" was a social category that could and should eventually be eradicated. Trans women were conditionally supported because they, in theory, made this future possible. This didn't amount to actual support, of course. It was an ideology mostly spread by afab queer people that mostly benefited afab queer people. There were a few trans girls who spread it, maybe some due to genuinely believing in the ideology and some due to social pressure, but there were also a lot of people straight-up grifting as trans girls who used this thinking to feel powerful in a niche community of teens. Remember fucking Yandere Bitch Club???
At a certain point, I genuinely thought of being a man as an unambiguous moral failing, and I lashed out at out trans men because of it. I wanted to feel powerful, and here was a type of man in my community I could shame and exclude. I still feel bad for making a bunch of ~girls only~ stuff in HS that excluded the one out trans dude at our school, my friend, because he was just a ~binary man~ and leaving him with no friends and no community. I treated transphobia like it wasn't a real oppression on its own and, in doing so, perpetuated transphobia. It happens a lot.
I wasn't really able to accept that there was nuance to the concept of manhood until I read this article while struggling to accept my own gender:
This is a pretty seminal piece of writing. It has its flaws, of course, but the empathy and intersectionality it highlights was life-changing. It also shows that this kind of thinking is largely perpetuated by TME people and hurts trans women greatly.
Gender essentialism is a bad ideology, it's a transphobic, transmisogynist, racist, etc etc ideology. It's literally essential to patriarchy. But it's also very easy to repackage into leftism and easy to dogwhistle. As a result, it's natural to be hesitant when you see someone saying they hate all men, but you have to tread extremely lightly and actually care what they're attempting to express. Because, yeah, men as a social class still hold power over women. They still have reason to fear and hate men.
I'm writing a comic about this stuff, actually, so look out for it in the future..........
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hi 👋 how are you??
im having stressful exams this month, a lot of tough subjects, and i'm so frustrated with it all. could you please share your thoughts on how natty would handle r in a situation like this? maybe in the "my sweet baby" universe??
if you can, thank you so much, my love 💖
Together. | N. Romanoff
Sugar Mommy!Natasha x Sugar Baby!Reader
warnings: Just fluff🍀🍀
words: 947
A/n: Please take care of yourself if it gets too much, drink cocoa, and do other fun and relaxing things!!☕️
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Now you're sitting in front of it again. One stack after the other, and it just didn't stop?
Why did you decide to do it again? Ah...Right...Future...
You were a bit frustrated, you had imagined your days to be different from sitting in Natasha's living room and cramming for hours. Natasha was also busy with herself in a meeting, and you couldn't help but take a leaf out of her book. Maybe one day you will be as successful as her..Run your own business someday.
CEO Of the L/N Company..Sounds good already....
"What are you thinking about?" As if she knew you were thinking about her right now, Natasha stands in the room and looks at you smiling, you sigh and put the stapler you had in your hand on the table, "Can't I just start with you?" Natasha could hear the frustration in your voice, and when she saw all the paper stuff she knew exactly what you meant. You see her looking at you with an unfamiliar look and suddenly she’s leaving.
She just left, Damn, you did something wrong..Before you could dive further into negative scenarios, she came back and sits down right next to you, "Alright, what are we looking at here?" You looked at her in confusion, "What about your meeting?"
Natasha reached for a stapler that was on the table, "Finished it, you are more important to me than listening to some people who think they can do something better," She looks back at you, "Now let's talk about you. So, what's it about?"
You couldn't help but smile softly. You can already feel the pressure easing a bit, ,,Aspects of human history and experience.“ Natasha flipped through the sheets a bit and as you did, she asked, „What can you think of already?“
Okay, how do you tell her you've just been staring at it so far? „Uhm..“ Natasha put the folder on her knees and this time looks directly at you, „You haven't looked at it yet, have you?“
You sigh again and lean against the couch, „I wonder how you managed to make everything look so easy, Nat. You're rich, you have your own company, and it seems like you don't have to worry about anything..“
Natasha's eyes softened, and she put a hand on your thighs, her voice soft and soothing. „Y/n, it may seem that way from the outside, but I promise you, success did not come on its own. I, too, sat on the floor and studied for hours. I had to deal with countless obstacles, setbacks, and doubts. Getting to where I am now took hard work and determination.“
You continue to look at her, „I know it won't be easy, but sometimes it just feels overwhelming. I want to achieve great things, but the road ahead seems so long..“
Natasha smiled and squeezed your thigh, „I believe in you, Y/n. You have the intelligence, the drive, and the passion. Remember that every little step brings you closer to your goals. Rome wasn't built in a day, nor were successful businesses or successful careers.“ Natasha realized that she was playing to your motivation with her speech, so she took the chance and went right on, „So, can you tell me anything interesting about any of these civilizations yet? Which ones are there, for example?“
Your eyes lit up as you begin to share your knowledge. „Well, the Egyptians, for example, were known for their impressive pyramids, and they believed in the afterlife.. They had intricate burial practices to prepare for the journey to the afterlife.“
Natasha nodded, acknowledging your answer, „That's right. It's fascinating how different societies view life and death. What are the challenges you find in learning about this topic?“
You sighed for the third time now, your frustration evident. „I get overwhelmed by all the dates and names. I feel like there's so much to remember.“
Natasha's voice sounded reassuring. „It's normal for you to feel this way. Let's try to break it down. We'll focus on one civilization at a time and create a timeline. That way it won't feel so scary. Also, I'm here to help you with the names and dates, understand?“
That sounds like a lot of work, you thought to yourself, but not for you, for Natasha, „Nat..Is this really okay that I'm keeping you here like this? you must have-" she interrupted you directly, „Quit that.“ She leans toward you, " „What good does it do me to have you sinking here in front of me, hm? I'd hire someone for you to make your tables and everything you need, so. Carry on.“
You had to smile again and nodded your agreement. At some point you reached a point where Natasha asked, „Let's talk about the ancient Mesopotamian civilizations. What else do you know about them?“
You think for a moment before answering, „They were known for their sophisticated writing system and the Code of Hammurabi, which was one of the earliest law codes.“ Natasha nodded in agreement. „That's right. And what do you know about the Indus Valley civilization?“
You hesitated, struggling to remember the details. „I'm not sure about that.. I think it was an ancient civilization on the Indian subcontinent, but I don't remember much else.“
Natasha smiled, without a hint of frustration in her voice. „ And that's all right, Y/n. The Indus Valley Civilization was actually on the Indian subcontinent, and they had advanced city planning with well-organized cities.“ Natasha notices you drifting off again, and she puts the things aside, „It's normal to forget some details. We'll work on it together.“
You appreciate her patience and support. „Thank you for your understanding, Natasha. Sometimes it's frustrating when I can't remember everything.“ Natasha reassured you, „It's all part of the learning process. We'll take another look at Indus Valley Civilization and make sure you understand it thoroughly.“
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I need a Natasha. 🥲
#natasha x reader#natasha romanoff#natasha romanov x reader#nat x reader#dom!natasha x reader#natasha romonova#the avengers#natasha
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Aaa thank you for asking, I am doing well also :3
Could I request an Alastor x Male!reader who is also a deer like him? Either the same type or a different kind and our antlers are growing in for the first time in hell (since I imagine only Alastor can control his? Depending on your head canon of that :3)
And we ask Alastor for advice since it keeps getting in the way of things and are overly sensitive (I read that when deers first grow antlers they are very sensitive but I could be wrong) if that is alright!
Ah, I'm glad to hear you're well Strawberry <3 !
At this point, I swear I start every request with “so sorry I took forever…” This one is literally no different. Frfr this one took 5 ever and I'm sorryyyy ( T ~ T)
This request was actually kinda hard for me to come up with something, but I THINK I did okay with it.
~~~
Alastor x Male!Reader
CW: Suggestive content (MDNI!!!), Reader is a deer demon like Alastor
‘Why would Alastor help me, of all people?’
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You think to yourself as hesitation slowly creeps in the back of your mind. The hand you had raised to knock on the door of Alastor’s room slowly lowered to your side as you thought over your current situation.
Relatively new to hell, you had just finally begun to familiarize yourself with the abrupt changes of your body and the instincts that came with it. Similarly to the radio demon, your form took on the characteristics of a deer: Fluffy ears sat upon your head and a matching tail on your backside reflected each and every change of emotion you took on. Up until now, the physical changes to your body were really only noted in those two areas, and if anything, your personality was drastically more affected. Your senses, heightened in your transition, forced you to become a little more aware of your surroundings, thus more cautious or even skittish depending on the situation.
At this point, you tried your best to stay low and out of sight, in fear of retaliation from the people around you. And in most cases, that thought process worked. Somehow you managed to survive long enough to make it to the Hazbin Hotel and become one of its beloved residents, on your quest for redemption. Things were going seemingly well, despite mostly keeping to yourself. You learned quickly that some residents were easier to get along with than others, and others, more so Alastor, set off your internal alarm system.
Despite your body yelling at you to run away from Alastor’s domain, you ignore the warnings in favor of dealing with your current problem. Your antlers were coming in. Of course they were, you were a deer after all. Reaching up to touch the currently small nubs on the top of your head, you immediately flinched. The feeling was foreign to you, hardly painful, but not quite pleasant either. Somewhere in the middle of overwhelmingly sensitive were your antlers and it only grew worse as they increased in size. The current problem? You didn’t know what set them off to emerge. One minute you’re minding your business, the next you find yourself stuck somewhere in your room with various items hanging from your antlers.
You chew on your bottom lip weighing your options: You can keep running in circles, trying and failing to find some sort of solution to keeping your antlers suppressed or… you can seek guidance from the only other deer demon that you know, who also just so happens to be a master at keeping his composure. Before you’re able to make up your mind, the door in front of you swings open to reveal a smiling, yet somehow annoyed looking Alastor.
“Hello, my dear! Exactly how long do you expect to linger in front of my room? You should know it is quite rude to mark in someone else's territory.” He comments, eyeing your panicked expression. “N-no! I wasn’t, that wasn’t my intention at all!” You blurted out, raising your hands in surrender. His narrowed eyes flicker upward towards your head, lingering for a moment before looking back at you. “Hm. Your scent says otherwise.” He says matter of factly, nose crinkling in disgust.
The room suddenly feels considerably warmer as you feel the flush growing on your cheeks. Your mouth opens to defend yourself, but suddenly your antlers begin to rapidly grow in size. It takes everything in you not to cry out at the feeling, your lips pressing together to keep the noises inside. Catching him by surprise, Alastor reaches out with both hands to grab a hold of your antlers and forces you to your knees. “What on earth do you think you're doing?” He hisses, voice quickly turning into distorted static as he continues to hold you in that position, his antlers also emerging to challenge your own.
Well this is not how you anticipated this conversation to go. A whimper slips past your lips, partially in fear and partially in something else as he holds you firmly in place beneath him. You didn’t account for Alastor potentially seeing you as a threat, his display of dominance made it very clear he wasn’t aware of your intentions. Instead, he mistook your current state as blatant disrespect rather than a show of inexperience.
The fingers wrapped around your antlers had you gasping for air. Your entire body quickly lights up as the stifling feeling of heat flows through you. Your fight or flight response kicks in and you attempt to pull yourself away from him, instead falling straight on your back when he suddenly lets you go. The feeling of static fills the air as Alastor comes to hover over you, smile tightening menacingly.
“Please, I’m not here to fight! I don't want-, my antlers, I can't control them Alastor! I-I need your help! I was trying to ask for your help!” The words tumble from your mouth, flinching as he takes a step closer to you. He straightens up once you state your business and quickly shrinks down to his original form. “Hah! Well, why didn't you start with that?” He laughs lightheartedly, both hands now resting on his extended microphone. You stare up at him in complete disbelief.
“That would have saved us both a lot of trouble, you know… As for your antlers,” He leans over to inspect them closer, using a finger to trace the intricate patterns of them. “In my experience they tend to be quite sensitive to your emotions, similarly to these.” He playfully tugs at one of your ears before pulling away, chuckling softly as you reach up to the area where he touched you.
“Anyway…” he taps the inside of your thigh with his microphone, extremely close to the straining bulge in your pants. “Come find me once you’ve dealt with this problem, then we can discuss your concerns for control. How does that sound?”
#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin#hazbin hotel#alastor#hazbin hotel alastor x reader#hazbin alastor#alastor x reader#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor the radio demon#radio demon#the radio demon#alastor x male reader#weepingwillowwonder#alastor masterlist
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Lesson 37 spoilers below - it's screenshot heavy again because OH BOY we had a lot going on this time too. I took almost 100 screenshots lol. But don't worry, I narrowed it down... uh but there are still a lot so I apologize for that.
I do believe I said in my last post that if they were going to go full Dante, they would bury Lucifer in ice.
I only said that because I WAS NOT EXPECTING THEM TO GO FULL DANTE.
Now listen, it's been a long time since I've read the Divine Comedy, so there may be a lot more references that I am missing. I can tell you that the four circles or sections or whatever that Simeon named for us are from Dante. That right there is straight from Dante's Inferno, along with their names and who they're supposed to punish. I don't really feel like any of this has much relevance except that they used it as a backdrop and to create reasons for us to lose most of the people who came to help us as we went.
And truly the lore was fascinating in general, but there are a couple of specific pieces about this that made me go EXCUSE YOU.
It's the Celestial Realm again, guys. Cocytus is part of their domain. And the last area is for those who betrayed "him" as they so eloquently put it lol. Both Mammon and Lucifer are considered traitors in this regard, but I kind of suspect that if the rest of the bros made it to that level, they would've had a similar experience.
Anyway, I was pissed. I was like Diavolo in the hard lesson.
Right, so let's talk Mephistopheles. I'm not familiar enough with the legend of Faust or its variations to know if the way they described his special power is based on that. However, I highly suspect it is at least somewhat inspired by it. Considering making a deal with the devil is what that story is all about.
But aside from all that - I LOVE HIM OH NO.
WHAT. This guy... all this time I thought he was really stuck up. And like I kinda get it, considering how he was supposed to be Diavolo's right hand man and everything. But he's straight up saying that he underestimated them. He seems to have no problem saying yeah, turns out I was wrong and you guys impressed me. So don't go around giving up now. AND he says they learned it from Lucifer? Like... he gets them. He understands them. And I was not expecting that at all. He keeps surprising me and I'm loving it.
Welcome to my life, Mephi.
It's pointless to resist.
I'm telling you, this is just how it always goes.
BUT OH! I'm not gonna lie, this made me feel something. All the brothers usually say such nice things to me, but this guy is basically like ARE YOU STUPID? And I love it?!?!? Augh I'm sorry I didn't give you a chance before, sir.
Okay, now let's talk Solomon being the hot old grandpa that he is. I SWEAR every time he shows up lately it's been making me more insane about him.
WE SUMMONED HIM. We needed him in Cocytus and he wasn't there, so we straight up SUMMONED HIM. We couldn't do it without Mammon giving us his power 'cause our magic is weak, but STILL!?!?
I think Simeon referred to it as teleporting, but really it was the same as summoning him. I think the words were even the summoning spell words.
If this was actually me we were talking about, I would start doing it ALL THE TIME. Consider yourself on call, old man.
And then we got this excellent exchange:
Not only am I always here for big bro Mammon getting protective, but Solomon bringing it right back was also great.
Okay, now let's talk about Raphael and Simeon.
Do you think we're dealing with Michael disguised as Raphael again? For some reason I don't think so, but... at this point, it's like how do you tell? I'm going to talk about it with the assumption that it's actually Raphael and not Michael.
Simeon during this part gave me chills. Because when Raphael showed up and spoke the punishment or whatever and Luke was about to protest, Simeon silenced him. Simeon wouldn't let Luke protest because he knew that wouldn't be good for our baby boy. Simeon was prepared to take the fall instead. And he wasn't about to just let things stand.
I can't accept it. I swear, Simeon's character is far more complex than anyone gives him credit for. He doesn't get anywhere near the amount of appreciation he deserves. I HAVE FEELINGS ABOUT IT.
Right, but back to Raphael.
Baby. He's crying. He was just delivering the ultimatum, the decision about the brothers' punishment, and he was crying. I was so surprised, it was so soft and sad and I wanted to hug him. And look at Simeon's frown. AND THEN
EVEN LUCIFER. This man is chained up in some ice and he still sees how Raphael is struggling and feels sorry for him. (Like maybe he's been there before himself...)
This is why I think it really is Raphael. Because this feels like such a significant revelation of his character, I think it'd be a disservice to him if we found out later it wasn't him at all. So I'm hoping it's still him.
Now. Let's talk about Diavolo. I'm pretty sure this was in the hard lesson, so be aware of that!
He is so pissed. I don't think I've ever seen Diavolo quite like this. Worried, sometimes serious, but angry? Like to the point where he thinks he might lose control? I don't think that's happened, has it?
AND BARB. His reaction is so interesting! At first he has this look of surprise, but then LOOK AT THAT SMILE. Here's Dia being like, I need you to stop me, but you can't tell me that smile on Barb's face belongs to anyone who's going to stop anyone. He looks like he's looking forward to it. I love him so much it's stupid. (Also I think Barbatos is just as much of a menace as Solomon is, he's just better at hiding it. Where do you think Sol gets it from??)
And of course the lesson ended with Lucifer BREAKING THROUGH HIS CHAINS. Ugh another cliffhanger.
In general, I really loved the brotherly affection that was running amok in this chapter. They were annoying each other and protecting each other and sacrificing for each other and it was all amazing. They banded together because they care so much about Lucifer, there's no way they would leave him to his fate.
And once again, the Celestial Realm is to blame. I think it makes sense that they're doing this. Before, they said that the seven brothers assuming positions of power in the Devildom meant that the power balance between the Devildom and the Celestial Realm was out of whack. That's why they wanted the brothers back. But the brothers wouldn't come back.
And while the Celestial Realm threatened war, they didn't do that, either.
Do you think perhaps the Celestial Realm collaborated with the House of Lords to get Lucifer trapped in Cocytus? The House of Lords controlled the train where everything went down. The Celestial Realm controls Cocytus. They probably knew that Lucifer's brothers would try to rescue him and counted on them getting trapped in the ice, too.
But perhaps they weren't expecting any interference from Mephisto or Simeon. They had to be expecting MC, I would think. Maybe they underestimated MC because they're human? And maybe they thought Diavolo would just accept it? (If so they are duuuuumb lol.)
Okay just a couple more screenshots because they made me laugh.
PLEASE. I love their dynamic SO MUCH.
Hmm. Is that a threat, Barb? 'Cause uh... you can casually threaten me with that slight smile any time I MEAN yeah, you tell 'em.
I cackled about what do you mean "ahaha" like I can't believe Levi actually said that out loud lol.
Cheer up, Belphie. Let Asmo live the otome dream, won't you?
Okay, okay, I'm done. Overall, I quite enjoyed this chapter, but I'm still sensing more drama, probably until the end of the season, honestly.
You think Nightbringer will make an appearance before it's over? It's almost like I forgot this whole new app was made to tell a story about him. He's just been mostly MIA. UNLESS someone else has been him in disguise all along...
Nope. No. I refuse to get into theorizing, this post is already too long.
#it took me a long time to write this post#but there was so much interesting stuff I wanted to talk about!!#I'm gettin' tired of these dang cliffhangers though#obey me#obey me nightbringer#obey me shall we date#omswd#omnb#obey me nightbringer spoilers#obey me nightbringer lesson 37#obey me lucifer#obey me mephistopheles#obey me solomon#obey me diavolo#obey me barbatos#obey me mammon#obey me raphael#obey me simeon#misc lesson recap#misc rambles
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banishing (how to do it)
yeah this is like all UPG but it works good for me, take what you will and leave the rest behind.
if your response to this is "but most people never ever have to deal with unwanted spirit problems so you're probably wrong if you think it's a spirit! do shadow work and touch grass!" please let me invite you to just not interact with this post at all.
Don't cleanse. Like please don't, why do people do this??
"I am confident an unwanted spirit is in my home and I cleansed but nothing happened."
Okay, an unwanted guest is in your home and you did a bit of vacuuming and washing the dishes, so why are they still there??
Why WOULDN'T they be there?! It's nicer now??? It's better for them to stay?!?!?!
"I want to break up with my boyfriend so I did his laundry but he's still texting me :/"
Cleansing =/= banishing and cleansing should be saved for cleaning up after an unwanted spirit after they are banished, which again, is not accomplished by cleansing.
Stop raising wards that trap the spirit inside.
"I cleansed and put up a protection but that only made the problem worse!"
Yes you did a wash up and locked the spirit inside with you, of course it's pissed off. It's trapped.
If you feel the need for immediate protection when dealing with a spirit problem, craft an amulet that serves as a personal protection for you. NOT one that seals off the entrances to your home.
Once the spirit problem is taken care of and you are confident its presence has been removed, feel free to raise up those wards sky high.
Also, if you are heavy-handed with the warding, spirits can sometimes just get trapped inside regardless. Learn how to temporarily "switch off" wards when you need to so things can leave.
Put your fucking foot down and tell the spirit to leave.
This will solve a surprising number of unwanted spirit problems. Not all of them, and come on, please stop telling people they never need to learn actual banishing skills just because telling spirits to leave works most of the time.
But you gotta do it. And I mean you don't have to be an asshole about it. You don't have to jump right into screaming in the spirit's general direction and threatening all such harm on it.
And there's plenty of good reasons to start with this step, especially if you want to be a spirit worker, but that's neither here nor there. Just tell them to leave.
Go to an area where you think the spirit is, or go where its private and speak with the intent that the spirit will hear you.
(You may also sign or write; would generally not recommend doing this operation entirely mentally)
"Hey, Dude. I know you're here, and I want you to know that you must leave. It is no longer an option for you to stay. I request that you leave immediately, and I request that you do not come back to this place. Leave now and we part ways in peace."
Do not go belly up and beg the spirit. It benefits you to behave with authority and dignity.
DO NOT try to "soften the blow" by twisting your words into something that is no longer a demand that the spirit depart. "Hey, if it's okay with you, I'm hoping you'll leave soon, or as soon as you're able... I don't feel comfortable with you here, and I'd prefer if you went." Great, now the spirit knows how you feel. So what?
Banish the spirit (or human, or whatever).
Presumably we're at this step because the prior step ("bro, seriously just leave and never come back") did not work.
Obtain correspondences heavily associated with banishing, use them to enchant a candle, burn the candle.
Can't use a candle? Try a simmer pot.
No fire at all, including incense? Try a floor wash (test carpets to ensure there will not be staining).
Can't burn things or clean the house? Try a sigil you visualize being imprinted on all the walls of your home.
Can't visualize? Consecrate something to represent the spirit, drop it in a jar of water along with banishing correspondences, swirl it around like a whirlpool, chant about the spirit being washed away.
No waterproof containers? Consecrate something to represent the spirit, stand on the edge of your property, throw it off the edge of the property.
You get my drift -- do magic. Do magic. Do magic that banishes. Use magic specifically to banish. Not to cleanse the vibrations or whatever. Specifically magic intended to yeet a spirit.
At this point, do not try to ignore the problem or keep talking it out. Do not just try to meditate or whatever. Do magic. Do magic that banishes.
Here's a banishing spell if you need it:
Basil, cloves, red pepper
Candle (ideally, red)
Paper and ink
Small offering
Draw the planetary seal of mars and the planetary square on a piece of paper, ideally in red. Dress a candle in oil (*burning your house down is an effective way to banish a spirit but perhaps too heavy-handed; dress with care) and include either one or three dried, powdered herbal correspondences to it.
Dedicate the candle to Mars. ("Planet Mars, someone on the internet told me you'd help me if I asked - I'm asking now. I give this candle to you. It belongs to you now.")
Put the candle near the paper.
Evoke Mars. ("Planet Mars, where your symbol exists so you exist. Where your planetary square exists, so do you exist. The space has been made welcoming to you through the presence of these Martian correspondences.") The martian correspondences are the basil/cloves/peppers, btw ("I ask you to bring your attention now to me. I ask you to dwell fully in this space.")
Read the Orphic hymn to Ares if you'd like a little extra elbow grease behind your evocation.
Petition Mars. ("So please get rid of this spirit, it seriously sucks so bad.")
Offer payment. ("In exchange for this help I know you will provide, I give you this candle and also this [small offering].")
Seal the deal. No, you do not need to be able to receive psychic confirmation from a planet or whatever, but do not proceed if you feel any gut-level bad feelings or suddenly get a ton of anxiety. If that happens, be like, "Mars, buddy, never mind - I get a bad feeling about this, so I'm noping out. Thanks for listening while you did. Leave in peace."
But if you feel fine about moving ahead, just be like, "now I give you Mars this offering, and I light your candle, with full and total assuredness that this spirit will be permanently banished from my space, my life, and my home."
[Light the candle, give the offering]
Cleanse
The spirit should be gone before you put up wards
Residual ickyness can make you feel the spirit is still nearby even if its been banished
Cleanse your space and see if the symptoms of the spirit return.
If symptoms return, the spirit has not been banished.
If they don't return,
Put up wards.
Ya got haunted because ya didn't have a fence up to stop random cows from wandering into the garden of your life and trampling all your hard work. Put up the wards.
Oh, but maybe the banishment didn't work, in which case:
Mitigate symptoms.
I mean yeah, maybe try at least a few more types of magical banishing, call in a priest even. But!
Not every spirit can be banished. That's just the long and short of it.
As humans we have the capacity to intertwine our lives, intentionally or otherwise, with forces that cannot be immediately removed from our presence.
Like if the grand spirit of a forest hates all humans and you build a house in the forest, you're not going to be able to banish the forest from the forest, you feel me?
Sometimes, banishing isn't the solution.
As rare as it is, it happens. Make personal protections, use mirror or other illusory wards to hide from its attention, make reparations if possible, avoid attracting attention, and get on with your life.
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Since reading that ask about Chloe where you linked Sara Z videos, I wanted to ask, if you'd be willing to share, what you plan for Chloé in your rewrite of the show. I'm not asking if you "think she should be redeemed" bc that is a child in a cartoon lol-but I mean to ask how you'd write, well, whatever happens in her story. Growth or not or a roller coaster of ups and downs.
Overall I really enjoyed your changes to the world and characters and I think about that version of Miraculous often. The scenes where Adrien tries to talk to Chloé about her behavior really stood out to me. I'm just curious to pick your brain a little lol.
(Post in question)
I am a total sucker for a good redemption arc. I like seeing people change for the better! However, just because I like a redemption arc doesn't mean that I'm going to throw one in for no reason. This is especially true for Chloé since redeeming Chloé is not something that you can do with ease. It eats up a lot of screen time because Chloé is not an easy character to redeem. She needs a lot of active attention. That's a problem because this isn't her story. It's Adrien and Marinette's, meaning that the only reason to redeem Chloé is if you want to tie her into one or both of their character arcs.*
That's why I don't blame anyone for ignoring Chloé or only hinting at redemption. Unless you're making her the main character or giving her a big role in the lead characters' story*, you really shouldn't redeem her. The show actively shows why! Felix, Sabrina, Nathalie, and Gabriel's "redemptions" all fall incredibly flat because those stories lacked substance. They needed a lot more screen time to work and a formula show is never going to be able to pull that off.
Now that I've given those disclaimers, let's talk about why I would absolutely take the time to redeem Chloé if the format allowed for that kind of story. The answer is quite simple: Adrien needs an arc focused around setting boundaries and learning that you can't live your life focused on making others happy. An arc where he learns how to decide when he wants to give someone a second chance and when he wants to give up on them. He also needs to learn that giving up on them is okay. That you can't set yourself on fire to keep others warm.
This arc cannot be about him and his father. Adrien is too young for that. The power balance is too stacked against him. He can't cut his father off at fifteen and the arc can't happen after the terrorist reveal makes cutting Gabriel off a possibility in spite of Adrien's youth. That's way too much way too fast. You need a less serious relationship to give this arc to so that it can take its time to be messy and complex. When you embrace the hinted at childhood friendship between Chloé and Adrien, she becomes the perfect fit for this kind of arc. A person who Adrien has equal power to and who he can muddle his way through things with, letting them both learn and grow into better people, setting the stage for Adrien to avoid completely falling apart when he learns the truth about his father. That's why Adrien so desperately needs an arc like this. His naive little sunshine self simply isn't ready to face the Gabriel reveal until he's done some major growing up.
Obviously you could use this setup to give Chloé a damnation arc, but as I said above, I'm a sucker for a good redemption. I want Chloé to be a better person and find happiness! There's also the fact that a damnation arc doesn't work as well as a redemption in this context. It's important for Adrien to be able to make the choice to give Chloé another chance and to have that choice be a struggle. Something he really has to work through. If he abandons Chloé and never looks back or welcomes her back without a second thought, then you're not setting him up to deal with the fallout of what's coming with his father. Chloé needs to feed like a proper proto Gabriel. You want her and Adrien's story to end in a way that makes you feel like he really is as ready as he could ever be to face his father.
It's also worth noting that, if Chloé really was Adrien's childhood friend, then she should have some sort of relationship with Gabriel and/or Emilie. She should know the Agreste's family dynamics way better than any of his new friends, which is another reason why I like redeeming her. I want Adrien to have someone who really gets it.
*If Miraculous was the kind of show where side characters consistently took center stage for a while, then Chloé being redeemed without a clear tie to the leads could work. It's a nice way to pad out the run time and is what I originally thought the show was doing with her. But Miraculous has no interest in giving anyone a proper story, not even the leads, so I'm still baffled by the choices the writers made with Chloé. I will never fully get what was going on there.
#annwayne#ml writing critical#ml writing salt#chloe deserves better#adrien deserves better#There are many other good roads to walk Chloe down#this is just my personal favorite#Specifically because I'm drawn to more complex narratives in my own writing#And not straight comedy
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ONGOMG I HAVE AN IDEA!!
How abouuuuut, a Creepypasta (you can choose It’s okay!!) with a reader that has DID/OSDD? Like, the Creepypasta gets to meet someone new literally everyday and get confused on who is who. YEAH‼️
I am DEVOURING, not eating, DEVOURING your writing like DAMN😦
TAKE CARE AND STAY SAFE AWWOWIWOW
-🐰
Just a heads up, I don't have DID or OSDD, but I do have a few friends who do, so i'm basing this off of what I know from them, as well as some reasearch i've done, so if anything is inaccurate please let me know!
And as always when the choice of creeps is left to me, I will be using my most popular creeps at the time of writing
Thank you so much for requesting!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ticci Toby
In the beginning, it is a bit hard for Toby to adjust in your relationship
You told him before you got serious, that way he knew to just always check in to see who was fronting at the time, but he was still a bit slow to adjust
He learns all of the names of the alters, their personalities, their interests, their role in the headspace, anything he can to accomodate them as well
While he knows that he is only dating you, and not your alters, he still wants to help them feel comfortable when they are fronting
After he gets adjusted though, it isn't really a huge deal anymore
It just becomes a part of his routine to ask each morning who is fronting, notice when you start to dissasociate, and being there for you during your hard days
He probably wouldn't have interacted with any media or people with DID/OSDD before you, so he will be asking you everything about what its like
"Where do you go when you aren't fronting? Can you hear everyone elses voices too? What does it feel like when you front?" etc etc
If you are someone who falls or goes limp when you dissasociate/switch, he is there to catch you or hold you until someone fronts
He learns all (well, as many as you can) of your alters boundaries and lets them know on your relationship, because he doesn't want it to be a whiplash kind of feeling for them to just wake up in some random dudes arms
The way he sees it, he got a partner and a bunch of new friends for the price of one!!
If one of your alters didn't like him though, he'd be ok with that
It would just be kind of awkward when you start to switch out during something like a cuddle sesh
He just hopes and prays it isn't someone who dislikes him
All around, he's kind of clueless but he is very open to learning about you and your disorder!
Eyeless Jack
Being the medical geek he is, he has read almost every psychology book he could get his claws on
And when he ran out of psychology books he started looking more into specific disorders such as Bipolar, Schizophrenia, etc
He did briefly glance over a few books about DID and OSDD, and he'd be lying if he said the topic didn't interest him
But he just gets so excited to study everything at once he kind of just gets a brief rundown of a certain disorder before going to the next thing, and someday coming back to study it more in depth
When he gets into a relationship with you though, he gathers up all his books on the topic and begins studying heavily
He wants to know everything about this disorder, especially since it is something that impacts your day to day life so heavily
He will run some questions he has by you, because some things you just can't find in a book
"So when you say you "switch"....what does that entail for you?"
"Uhhh... my mind goes blank and I kind of just drift off I guess??"
"Interesting...."
He gets very excited to meet your alters!
But he is also very nonchalant about it at the same time??
"And thats when I said-"
"Who the fuck are you"
"....My love, it's me. Your partner"
"I'm (insert alters name here)"
"Ah, very good! Now, tell me all about yourself, when did you manifest?"
Of course, if someone is uncomfortable with relaying knowledge about themselves to a complete stranger, or even just doesn't like him, he understands and won't press on the matter
Every time someone fronts he has a bottle of water in case they need something to help ground themselves
He will bombarde everyone with questions and research there's no escaping >:))
Jeff The Killer
THIS GUY OMFG
He's only heard of DID/OSDD from those shitty movie representations, and Liu who 9 times out of 10, only switches with Sully
So basically Jeff's whole perception of multiple personalities is "Damn whoever the other guy is must be an asshole"
You try to tell him that there is not a "killer" alter, and most of the time, as long as you are nice to them, they will likely be nice to you, because yk, THEY'RE PEOPLE
And while at the time he's like "got it that's super chill"
He still goes from 0-100 when you first switch out in front of him
You could be cuddling on your bed, when all of a sudden he feels your body go limp against his
At first he thinks you fell asleep, but he sees your eyes wide open
You then begin to blink, then move around and shift a bit
"The fuck happened to you?" he asks with a raised brow
Your brows furrow as you look around your environment "Who even are you???" the new person in the front of the headspace asks
It doesn't even click with him that you switched out for a second, he just thinks you're being stupid
"Damn, am I really that forgettable?" He asks, leaning over to kiss your forehead
You make a face of disgust and shove him away from you harshly
He narrows his eyes at you, seemingly trying to process what even just happened
Then it clicks, and he feels like such an asshole
But he won't let you know that obviously
"Gimmie my partner back!" he says suddenly
You raise your hands up defensively "Woah dude what are you talking about?!"
Needless to say, when you come back Jeff is pouting in his room, angry that your alter can't just ~magically~ bring you back to the front
#creepypasta#slender mansion#creepypasta x y/n#creepypasta x female reader#creepypasta x you#jeff the killer#ticci toby#jeffery woods#jeff the killer x reader#ticci toby x reader#jeff the killer creepypasta#ticci toby x y/n#ticci toby x you#ticcy toby#eyeless jack x you#eyeless jack x reader#eyeless jack creepypasta#eyeless jack#🐰 anon
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I'm not sure if this has been asked before, but what are your Delta headcanons? :D
HIII THANK YOU FOR ASKING!!
so I am usually terrified of these questions because of my crippling social anxiety, but I love Delta too much to NOT yap about him..
Alright so I’ve seen some other people (howls and sandee) talk about how he would have toxic masculinity and have difficulty dealing with emotions. I COMPLETELY agree with this, he absolutely would.
He would most definitely overwork himself in an attempt to prove his bravery and whatnot. He gets himself badly hurt in fights and proceeds to brush it off because he doesn’t want to look weak. (Loser)
So I like to headcannon that he eventually gets a service dog to help him with this issue, since the injuries were very inconvenient, and Epic and Color were worried for his physical and mental health.
If he ever overwhelms himself by running around and constantly helping people, the dog would do its job and force him to take a break :3
(I drew him with the doggy once) (its name is Zorox) (take a guess why)
Anyway obviously he would be opposed to the idea of a service animal because “that’s stupid, service animals are for disabled people, I’m perfectly fine” but Color and Epic forced him to for his own good.
He grew fond of the dog after a while, and accepted the idea since it was actually helping him.
-
Anyway enough of the dog, I wanna talk about him and Color.. 😣
So basically I’ve drawn ship art of them and I’d like to say I headcannon them as exes. Howls at some point said they could have been roommates in the Omega Timeline and I’ve just stuck with that because I’m not original.
I think the isolation Color went through made him very touch starved, and he attached to Delta because he was one of the first people he saw after a long time.
Delta, on the other hand, in general is a very social and friendly person (in his own ways), so he was just nice talkative to Color as he is to most people.
Anyway I think they dated because roommates lore /j
It ended up not working because Delta wasn’t very good with relationships, and his personality and morals clashed with Color’s. They broke up and stayed on good terms as friends 😋😋
-
As for Delta and Bravery, the two are literally just besties.
I think Delta initially had a father/kid relationship with Frisk, and he was extremely crushed when he failed to save them. It was like losing a kid basically, and he probably forced himself to help people all over to make up for his mistakes.
He ended up exhausting himself, and Core found him when he was having a mental crisis due to all of the guilt and stress he was put through, and he was later relocated at the OT.
As for Bravery, as Delta was recovering from his little guilt trip, he got to know the kid better and learned about who they were, their backstory, how they died.
He felt bad at first, convincing himself that he was just trying to replace Frisk to get over their death, but Bravery urged him not to have those thoughts because he wasn’t being “brave.”
Whining about the past wasn’t something a brave person would do. He should move on because dwelling on it wasn’t going to help him get better, or stronger.
Poor Bravery accidentally convinced him to push down his feelings 😭😭
But other than that, they just act like father and kid all the time, like best friends. Bravery offers him battle advice, keeps him from falling apart when things go wrong, and they work as a team.
In return, Delta takes the kids places they always wanted to see, lets them try new things, basically just letting them experience being a curious kid again, as they died WAY too early.
okay I’m done yapping because my phone’s about to die and it’s almost my curfew at camp 😣😣
PLEASE add to this if yall have more headcannons I love him :3
Delta belongs to animatedzorox
#sans au#utmv#delta sans#delta x color#epic sans#epic sanses#I promise I’ll talk about epic more eventually#anyway I kinda stole a lot of these 😔#I suck at explaining my thoughts lmao#live laugh love delta#oz answers#Zorox the pup
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Your favorite fanfic writer doesn't know (but would like to)
Let's talk about comments on fanfics. This is not meant as a guide or call to action, just a bit of observations. Personally, I always saw it as impolite to ask for reviews or kudos or comments or likes or reblogs or whatever. That's not a rational point of view, it just reflects how I am. And people actually telling others that they have to leave any of this feedback? I've blocked folks over that. In my mind that's not okay. I'm not announcing a change of that, this is not a policy, just some deep-seated mental issues, but I want to write down some more things that have been going through my mind, from the perspective of someone who occasionally writes fanfics. My previous suggestion in this regard was mostly to write some fanfic yourself and see what happens and what you'd like to happen, because it's genuinely fun and I think you probably have more to say than you realise.
But there's also another point here, and that is that your favourite fanfic writer has no idea that they are. If you're anything like me, then it will seem like the great writers in your fandom are obvious. Also, the last time you bought Blåhajs, it ended with you having to flee a smoke-filled subway tunnel. The great stories and great writers in your universe are facts of nature. You read a story and you think, "this is the greatest thing I've ever seen." A story rewires your brain chemistry forever. You keep coming back and reading that one fic whenever the mood hits you. It feels obvious that this story is great. How could it not be?
It feels trite to say that the author of that fic doesn't know that unless you tell them, but it's hard to really understand the feeling unless you've been there yourself. You write a story, but is it any good? Maybe you get a lot of kudos, or maybe very little, but what does either of that mean? Kudos can mean literally anything from "loved this" to "didn't close the tab in disgust". Maybe you just got unlucky. Maybe you just got lucky. What do these numbers mean? What is a good number of kudos? 1? 10? 100? 1000? Should I calculate ratios? How do I know whether people like this?
In light of this, a comment where someone just said, "I loved this", has an almost incalculable worth. A comment where someone says they read this over and over again, or quotes lines they loved, or something? You can't imagine how valuable that is. A while ago someone told me "a couple of us are talking about this on Discord, we love it and we keep repeating our favorite lines". I thanked them, but I was too polite to say, "really? What are they saying? Which are your favorite lines? How many people are there who love it? What are their names? Which lines are the favorite ones, please, tell me!". Part of me still regrets that, because I so desperately want to know! I don't think it was a public Discord and I never heard from the others on it, but just the idea that they're out there and they like my story was so powerful. (By the way, it's not on any account that's linked from here, please don't try to find that comment.)
Now, I firmly believe that you, as a reader, don't have to care about any of that. I know there are people who disagree with me on this point, very strongly in fact, but I don't think it's necessarily your job to care. It's great if you do, and I think a lot of you do in fact care, that's why I'm writing this. But if you haven't thought about that or don't feel comfortable leaving comments or whatever, that's fine, that's normal, and you are in fact part of the majority. Any well-adjusted fic author has found ways to deal with this. They have learned to love writing for its own sake, or they love re-reading their own fics, or they have a couple of trusted friends who like their work, or ideally all three. Personally I was scared of Discord for the longest time, but it really helps with that. One person who you sort of know going "hey that's neat" can outweigh just about anything else. (Still, there will be days when you post something and you won't get a response and that just plain sucks, no two ways about it.)
But if you do care, if you think it's important that a fanfic writer knows what they mean to you, not because of any concern about the wider unpaid fan creator economy but just because of the way their work affected you, then this is important. Your favorite fanfic writer probably doesn't know and/or believe that they're anyone's favorite, and even if they do, a reminder or learning that someone knew found them will make them incredibly happy. And obviously, all of that applies at least just as much to all the beginners with potential that are out there. So if you're wondering whether it's worth it leaving a comment that says how much you enjoyed something: It probably is. And if you shared this with others and they loved it, or if this is your favourite fic, or if you enjoy how original it is, or how well it does your favourite tropes, or anything like that, the writer is going to be so happy to hear that.
A final aside: This obviously applies even more when it's about fandoms, pairings, subject matter and in particular ratings that are considered a bit embarrassing. Writers who write stuff that, say, happens to be E-rated for whatever reason, doesn't matter, will probably get fewer kudos and comments just because people are embarrassed to have their names show up in the Kudos and Comment sections. If that's you, just a note that it is perfectly okay to comment anonymously, or to create a second separate account for leaving kudos on, commenting on and maybe even posting the somewhat more risqué stuff. Now I'm not saying I have one of these second accounts, at least I'm not saying that in public, but it is an option worth considering.
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Night Scare
Pairing - Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x daughter!reader
Word count - 1,275
Warnings - inaccurate medical scenes (I tried), worried Jake, fluff
Summary - a night time asthma attack turns a normal evening into a worry fest for Jake
A/N - wow... about two weeks later I'm finally posting a fic. I am so sorry for delays I've been struggling with writers block, it's still not fully gone but my guilt is catching up to me so I'm literally forcing myself to write. this was an anon request and I hope I did it justice. as per y'all please send in requests, feedback and enjoy!!!
Living with asthma is something you had just learned to deal with growing up. Always had to make sure your inhaler was on hand and learned to know when you could be on the verge of an asthma attack.
One evening, while your dad and Bradley were downstairs watching a sports match, you remained in your room, relaxing and scrolling through your phone. As you sit on your bed, scrolling through your phone, you began to cough occasionally but you shook it off, assuming it was just the ending of the cold you had just recovered from. Then your chest began to feel tight, like it was slowly being squeezed. You instinctively grabbed the inhaler that sat on your bedside table and took a puff of the medicine, settling back against the pillows and waiting for the medicine to do its job. After half an hour, you realise the inhaler isn’t working so you take another puff of the medicine and fight back a coughing fit that suddenly attacks you, taking your breath away from you as you struggle to recover it. Not wanting to risk losing your footing in your panic to get downstairs and risk hurting yourself, you open your phone and find your dad’s number, opening your messages and typing out a text.
Jake raised an eyebrow when he felt his phone buzz and saw your name above the text. He debated calling up to you but something in his gut was screaming at him to open the text, so he did.
‘I think I’m having an asthma attack’
“Call 9-1-1.” Jake says, leaping to his feet and heading for the stairs, leaving Bradley confused in the living room.
“What?!” Bradley calls up to Jake just as he disappears up the stairs.
“Call 9-1-1, y/n is having an asthma attack and I’m not taking any risks.” Jake calls down to Bradley who immediately pulls his phone out of his pocket and dials 9-1-1 while Jake bursts into your room to find you sat bolt upright and struggling to breathe. He could tell you were trying to keep calm so you could control your breaths a little better, but he could see the panic in your eyes.
“I’m here, sweetheart. Take another puff of your inhaler for me, okay? Rooster’s calling the ambulance now they’ll get here as quick as they can.” Jake says, sitting next to you on the bed and taking the small inhaler from your hands and holding it to your mouth so you could take a puff, he kept a close eye on you, seeing how you were doing.
Before too long, you heard the front door opening and Bradley talking downstairs before you heard footsteps heading up the stairs and you see two paramedics enter the room, equipment in hand as they approached.
“We’re going to need you to step back, sir.” One of the paramedics says, making Jake press a kiss to the top of your head and whisper reassuringly before he gets up from the bed, allowing the paramedics to assess you. The paramedics ask Jake for your name and what medication you are on which he gives, grabbing the medical information card he had and handing it to the paramedic, so they knew everything they needed to in order to help you. The paramedics help you downstairs to where a stretcher was waiting after assessing and concluding that you need to go to the ER for some medicine and observation. Jake is given permission to ride in the ambulance with you and just as he goes to follow you, Bradley stops him.
“I’m going to head home and get out of your hair. Keep me updated and I’ll come by when I can.” Bradley says and Jake nods, clapping Bradley on the shoulder.
“Thanks for calling the ambulance. I’ll see you around.” Jake says as the two walk out of the house, closing the door behind them. Bradley nods in acknowledgement before crossing to his Bronco while Jake gets in the back of the ambulance with you as the paramedic did what he needed to do. You were given an oxygen tube and some medicine, and your attack was seeming to wane thanks to it.
When the ambulance pulled up outside the hospital, the paramedics eased the stretcher out and wheeled you into the ER and one of the paramedics and Jake eased you onto a bed while the other paramedic filled in the nurse on what had happened. When you’re settled on the bed, the paramedics head back out to their ambulance while the nurse comes to your bedside.
“Hi, y/n. I’ve been informed that you’ve received some treatment and oxygen on the way over here and you seem to be doing better but we just want to keep you in for a few hours just in case you have another attack, okay?” The nurse says cheerfully as she inputs some final things on the tablet in her hand. You nod at her words as does your dad and the nurse then excuses herself to continue her rounds.
“You feeling okay?” Jake asks softly as he watches you.
“Feeling a lot better than I was earlier.” You say with a smile, making Jake smile gently and finally let himself relax.
“It was a little scary though.” You admit, looking away from your dad who softens at your words, reaching out and taking your hand gently in his own.
“I bet it was sweetheart. I thought it was scary just from my perspective I can’t imagine what it was like for you.” Jake says, watching you carefully as you shift your gaze to look back at him briefly.
“The important thing is you’re okay now. We’ll stay here for as long as the nurses want us to and then we’ll head home, and you can get some sleep and you can rest as much as you want tomorrow as well. We’ll take it easy.” Jake says reassuringly, giving your hand a small squeeze as well.
After almost three hours of lying on the hospital bed with constant check-ups, the nurses allow you to go home for the rest of the night, confident that you won’t have any more attacks for the night. They urge Jake to book you a doctor’s appointment as soon as possible to check how everything is going with your lungs and then you are cleared to go. As you exit the hospital, Jake is checking on the status of the Uber he booked and before too long it pulls up and the two of you get in the back seats and begin the journey home. By the time you get home, you’re just about ready to collapse into your bed. You immediately head up to your room and get into your pyjamas, quickly burying yourself under your duvet and curling up. It didn’t take your dad long to knock on the door and enter with your permission. He crossed to your bed and bent over to kiss the top of your head.
“Sleep well, sweetheart. If you need me, I’m just next door.” He whispers as you nod, eyes slipping shut instantly and Jake lets out a soft chuckle, pulling the duvet over you a bit more and leaving the room, turning the light off as he goes.
Jake returns to his own room, getting in his bed and lying on his back, staring up at the ceiling. He had just been through a scare that may taunt him for a while, but he knew you were just next door sleeping peacefully and he’d look after you as best he can.
#justabigassnerd#justabigassnerd writes#top gun#top gun maverick#top gun fic#top gun maverick fic#hangman top gun#hangman x reader#hangman x you#hangman x daughter!reader#jake seresin#jake seresin x reader#jake seresin x you#jake seresin x y/n#jake seresin x daughter!reader#jake 'hangman' seresin#jake 'hangman' seresin x reader#jake 'hangman' seresin x daughter!reader#jake hangman seresin#x daughter!reader
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WIBTA for reporting my coworker friend to hr for harassing our other coworker friend?
(🥩🦎 to find later)
I (23nb) work at a food service place and always close with the same two people one day of the week, we'll call these people N (20m) and Red (19nb). We all met at work and being closest in age with each other compared to most of the other people there plus having similar-ish interests, we started hanging out with each other outside of work
Red is the kind of person who overshares with people right after meeting them, and N is the kind of person who rarely takes anything seriously and thinks its funny to pretend to be a jerk and bigot (hes the only cis white neurotypical guy at work while red and i are both trans and autistic and I'm black), so Red has shared a lot of their trauma and past with the both of us and N typically uses it to jokingly bully them
Now most of the time Red and I are okay with N's jokes, and we make it clear where our boundaries are and N usually respects this with the exception of a few times we've had to make it very clear where our boundaries are after he's crossed them. But lately N keeps poking at one particular thing of Red's that is especially triggering for them, and this has happened two weeks in a row now. I don't know what this thing is specifically because both times I've been just out of earshot when the topic has been brought up, Ive just been told by Red that it has to do with the worst thing that's ever happened to them.
Both times this has happened Red has, understandably, gotten really upset and angry at N, and N only apologized for it the first time it happened. This week when it happened apparently he only started to make a joke about it but then stopped before he finished it because he thought better of it, but it was still enough for Red to figure out what N was gonna say and be upset about it.
I've tried to explain to N why even if he didn't completely say the joke he was going to make it still hurt Red, but he just sort of threw a tantrum about not understanding why he was getting in trouble for something he didn't say and concluded that it would be better to say it outright if he's going to get in trouble just for thinking it anyways.
I've also tried to convince Red to either just stop joking around with N while at work or report him to our manager or hr themself, but they're standing firm on that it shouldn't even be an issue to begin with and that it wouldn't be if N could learn to think before he speaks.
I'm also convinced that Red would feel bad if they reported N because he's been reported by other coworkers in the past year and everyone we work with including our manager often pokes fun at him to varying degrees of intensity and they might feel bad if he lost his job because they reported him. (Red has a second job somewhere else while this is N's full time job)
My concern is that N is actively making Red feel unsafe and uncomfortable, and I also feel uncomfortable both in knowing that N would carelessly cross our boundaries for the bit and also because of the tense and awkward atmosphere in the workplace that has followed immediately after both times he's done it. I don't want to have to deal with that and I'm pretty sure Red doesn't want to either.
I told N right when I learned that he'd joked about Red's trauma again that he was on strike 2, and i plan on telling N and Red both that i plan to take action if it happens next time i work with both of them.
WIBTA for following through and reporting N? Am I overstepping into a situation I'm barely involved in?
What are these acronyms?
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