#and its cringe as hell dialogue

[resizura]

the scene in death island when chris jill and claire are talking about how “bioterrorists sure are stubborn” sums up all my problems w modern resi from a story standpoint

because its like why do none of these characters react differently to their circumstances and just accept them

i know its because theyre video games and they need to do the same thing over and over but still

like as bad of a villain dylan was he read jill Ieon and chris for filth and im shocked at how self aware capcom was because yeah they have those three go thru the same shit constantly and nothing changes and theres only so many times it can happen for me personally before i gotta put a stop to this

and the only emotion the main guys can have is being jaded like idk i dont like re5 and up chris because his only emotion is being jaded. his character trait of always getting his team killed and how that affects him is briefly brought up at the beginning of re6 and then despite getting flashbacks of that finn guy or whoever it Keeps Happening and all that comes of chris is that hes jaded and ‘tired of this’ but they CONTINUE. WHY? SAME WITH L/EON

in a real life situation i couldnt care less about how these people react to their bioterrorism. if it makes all the characters jaded and numb, fine. but this isnt real life, this is a story, a narrative. and to me, the narrative making all the characters react the same to all theyve been through is BORING and i want MORE

[misterbirdwing]

"Oh dear! I'm terribly sorry for jumping, though you frightened me!"

"It is quite alright, small fairy. I mean you no harm, I can assure it. You may call me Fry."

"I see, well my name is Elwynn. I am terribly sorry to bring our conversation askew so early, but as a costumer myself, I have to ask about yours! You look simply incredible, I must say!"

"Ah, Elwynn, my friend, you have mistaken me. I bare no costume, you see. My gills and my frills are simply how I was born."

"Oh dear, I'm so sorry for assuming! I don't see other species often, coming out to the water like this is quite the rare occurrence for one as reclusive as me."

"Wynn, do not let it guilt you. I rather approaches such as your own than those of fear I tend to garner. Do come closer, will you? My vision is faulty out of water."

"Poor thing, why is it you require to see me better? Do I have something on my mask?"

"Do not fret, you do not, I simply wish to admire your charm through less of a hazy blur."

[raeygina-george]

if i have to hear the words 'skibidi ohio rizz' one more time i am going to start killing

[pennyblossom-meta]

Gale/Karlach banter

Similar to my previous post: Gale/Wyll banter.

Warning: VERY long post.

Because the dialogue lines are so many, I won't add screenshots in some sections.

I'll add more items from Gale's side either here on a separate post.

Update: added some more dialogue lines

Act 01

Gale intervenes on Karlach's behalf (currently impossible to trigger)

Gale: Easy, Wyll. She's no devil. There's no fight to be had here.

Recruiting Gale

Karlach: Well done getting the wizard on board. He can zap from afar while I smack up close. But if he tries to get me to read any tomes, I will scream. devnote: Context, Karlach does not like to read

Recruiting Karlach

Gale: An ally fresh from the Hells themselves. Our company grows stranger by the minute - and all the better for it.

If Wyll is the avatar

Gale: Hunting one devil, allying yourself with another. Our journey gets more curious by the second.

First night at camp

Karlach: Gale's pretty lost in his thoughts, isn't he. Poor guy. Roughing it like this can't be his style. devnote: Genuine empathy

—

Taking a walk through the forest

Gale: Nothing like a brisk stroll through the forest to invigorate the spirit. devnote: Brisk, invigorated Karlach: I was just thinking the same thing, but less poetically. devnote: dreamily Gale: And without so much as a stirring from our tadpoles. Karlach: A girl could get used to this. devnote: relieved and happy

—

Blighted Village

Karlach: Looks like this town was ransacked - by soldiers, if my eyes don't deceive me. Gale: Quite cruelly, too. Karlach: Must've been an awful day for the people who lived here. Gale: If nothing else, I hope it was a mercifully short one.

—

At the Grymforge

Gale: The architects who built this must have been remarkable. A pity their vision didn't stand the test of time. devnote: Observing, not sure what to make of it Karlach: All's not lost. I mean, just look at this place. devnote: Impressed with what she sees Gale: You've quite the knack for finding the bright side of things, haven't you? Karlach: Hope keeps you going.

—

Underdark

Karlach: Just when I was getting used to the sky again... Gale: Fear not, Karlach. Sun, moon and stars will still be there waiting for us. devnote: Reassuring Karlach: Meanwhile, this place is pretty spectacular, isn't it? Gale: No book or painting could ever do its strange beauty justice. But perhaps our stories might, when we return to the surface. devnote: Agreeing with Karlach, enjoying the sense of wonder as you explore

—

Act 02

Plains, near the Temple of Lathlander (or is this in Act 01?)

Gale: I don't suppose you've any clue where we are in relation to Waterdeep? Karlach: From this distance between Elturel and Baldur's Gate, I'd say... a long way away. devnote: dreamily Gale: Ah. That will make getting word to my mother rather tricky. Gale: No matter - what she doesn't know can't hurt her. Not at this distance, anyway. devnote: Black humour/finding the bright side

—

Mountain Pass

Karlach: Man, adventuring is thirsty work. Gale: There used to be a monastery in this region known for producing a wonderful ale. Karlach: That sounds like heaven! Wait. Used to? Gale: Oh, yes - long ruined, I'm afraid. No chance of a frothing pitcher awaiting us there, but still - at least your thirst for knowledge is quenched. Karlach: Ugh. devnote: Groaning at Gale's cringe joke

—

On the road to the Shadow Cursed lands

Gale: Do you feel that? A darkness, pulling at the strands of the Weave. devnote: Alert, sensing something Karlach: You'll still be able to do your wizard thing, though, right? Gale: Of course, but that doesn't make the shadows less dangerous. devnote: Reassuring Karlach, whiloe remaning concerned about the wider dangers Karlach: Joy. devnote: sarcasm

—

Shadow Cursed lands

Karlach: Doing all right, Gale? Gale: Oh, you know... Still alive and kicking, despite being surrounded on all sides by an endless manifestation of darkness and decay... devnote: Almost with a sigh - that's just how things are. Grim humour to it Karlach: I feel it too. Here if you need a pick-me-up.

—

Last Light Inn, Shrine to Selûne

Gale: A hidden shrine, dedicated to the Moon Maiden herself. Even amidst this darkness, Selunites are stubborn enough to cling on. Karlach: Pretty beautiful, isn't it?

—

Tollhouse

Karlach: Whoa! Almost slipped there. Gale: You wouldn't be the first, I'd wager. It's been some time since these walkways felt the carpenter's hammer. Karlach: You gonna catch me if I eat a brick? Gale: With my reflexes? I'd catch you before you so much as stubbed a toe. devnote: Confident

—

Brewery

Karlach: Huh. A brewery. Why does Reithwin Ale ring a bell? Gale: It was known to be quite the tipple - a cask or two still exists, if you know the right alekeep... devnote: Enjoying being the expert on this. He definitely knows 'the right alekeep' Karlach: You must have good taste. Not me. Can't afford it. Gale: A common misconception. Even the simplest of flavours are elevated by the choice to appreciate them. Don't deny yourself such pleasures. devnote: Kind/encouraging

—

Moonrise approach

Karlach: Ready to enter the belly of the beast? Gale: It's the stairs I'm dreading. I shall close my eyes, and pretend I'm climbing my own, far superior tower in Waterdeep. devnote: Facing an obstancle with cheery determination Karlach: In that case, welcome home.

—

Moonrise Docks

Karlach: We're not taking a boat to Baldur's Gate, right? Gale: And give the Absolute free reign to use us as target practice from the banks? I think not. devnote: Yeahhh… no. Karlach: Phew. My mum always said the Chionthar was unlucky.

—

At the mind flayer colony, under Moonrise Towers

Gale: It strikes me that, for a mind flayer colony, there are remarkably few mind flayers about the place... devnote: Observing, not sure what to make of it Karlach: Squiddies have gone to war, is my guess. Gale: On the Absolute's behalf? Now there's an alliance I'd have been quite happy without.

Act 03

Blushing Mermaid

Karlach: Man, it's good to be home. First round on who? Gale: She who thirsts buys drinks the first. devnote: Like it's a well-known saying (first half) Karlach: You won't pin me down with a rhyme, wizard! devnote: Jockeying with Gale Gale: She who declines gets the worst of the wines. devnote: Like it's a well-known saying (second half)

—

Counting House

Gale: They say wealth offers a form of magic. Alas, it's one I've rarely dabbled in. Karlach: Nor I. Never had more than a few coppers in the city, and any soul coins in Avernus went straight to Zariel. Gale: Make no mistake. Souls are sold for coins up here as well. All too cheaply, in most cases.

—

Sorcerous Sundries

Gale: Look around you. Indulge your curiosity. Sorcerous Sundries is the finest purveyor of magical miscellany for miles around. devnote: Showing his friends around, trying to sound impressive Karlach: Where's the axes? devnote: looking for battle-axes to the dismay of bookworm Gale Gale: What they sell is far more precious than mere sword or shield. They sell knowledge, ingenuity, the wisdom of mages past. devnote: Showing his friends around, trying to sound impressive Karlach: Sounds like more your thing than mine.

Romance

Breakups and relationship status

Karlach's side

Player breaks up with Karlach over Gale

Karlach: Fuck off if you're here to talk about Gale. I already know. devnote: Wounded/ sadPlayer was partnered with Karlach, but ended up choosing Gale. Karlach found out on her own and is now reacting. This shouldn't be a mega aggro 'fuck off,' more like a 'go away'. Karlach: Couldn't tell me to my face, huh? Had to wait 'til I just... just figured it out. devnote: sad/bitter

Karlach: Whoa. What? You... want to be with Gale...? devnote: Copping on that the player is here to breakup with her Karlach: Since when?! devnote: angry and hurt

Karlach: I should've known Gale would weave his spell on you. Who could resist? devnote: Bittersweet. Player is dumping her for Gale. She's sad but still on good terms and trying to keep things light. Karlach: I know I had... well. You know I liked you. Like you. But I want you to be with someone who can make you happy. If that's Gale, that's Gale. devnote: Heartbroken but mature. (...) Karlach: Hope you don't regret throwing over all this fire for all that hot air. One'll get you through winter, the other'll recite you a lot of codices. But hey. To each their own. devnote: Heavy on the subtext. She's putting a lighthearted/ sarcastic spin on the fact that the player just friendzoned her for gale.

Karlach: When Gale's on page one hundred thirty six of a supremely boring recitation, and you look over and there I am throwing a lasso around a giant centipede and riding it to Chult, I'll have my comeuppance. devnote: Still keeping it a bit light/teasing

Karlach: Gale climbed out of the Weave long enough to waggle his eyebrow in your direction, huh? devnote: Still a little light. She does like Gale, despite his high-falutin-ness, so she doesn't mean this to hurt him.

Player chooses Karlach over Gale

Karlach: I thought you and Gale were... I don't know. Karlach: Gale will be all right, right? Of course he will. He's Gale. If he can take a hit from Mystra, he can take it from you.

Gale is the player and is in a relationship with Karlach

Player: My future's no more certain than your own. But when I dare to imagine having one, it's always you I see beside me. Karlach: I'm seeing you at a desk. Pile of books up to the ceiling. And me barging in with a brace of rabbits for supper. Karlach: You start chopping carrots. I stoke the fire. And every night is the best night we've ever had.

Date with Karlach, Gale is the player character

Karlach: You know, it does. There's always a bit of a veil about you - I guess it's the magic, but there's something else, too. Something I want to discover first-hand.

Q: Tell me a secret

Player: I once claimed to have read all six volumes of 'Lichen and Its Curative Properties' to impress a comely botanist. Alas, a falsehood. Karlach: You mean you haven't read all six volumes?! Gale Dekarios, I'll never look at you the same. devnote: Teasing

Player: I'm afraid I'm doomed to repeat past mistakes, no matter how I try to avoid them. Karlach: I know what you mean. Changing is hard. Every time I think I've figured it out, boom, there I am again, behaving like some version of me that never learned a damn thing.

—

Gale's side

Gale: And what of Karlach? Her heart can surely break, though it burns.

Breaking up with Gale for Karlach

Gale: Karlach, yes? You burn for each other in more ways than one. Gale: I... I thought you would show me the respect of telling me first, but no matter. You can tell me now - who is it to be? Me, or her? Player: I'm sorry, Gale. I want to be with Karlach. Gale: Don't be - she has a good heart. Poor phrasing - she has a terrible heart. But she's surprisingly caring, considering it.

At the tiefling party

Gale: You might be in for an adventure with Karlach. More than you bargained for - with a bit of luck. Gale: Or perhaps more than you bargained for - full stop.

Talking about Tara

Gale: You remind me of her somewhat. You share her fierceness, and her passion.

Be my God, boat scene

Gale: I'll always have you, Karlach.

Act 01

Gale had first stage of romance/attraction with player - not yet anything official. Gale: Karlach... a hypothetical question for you: devnote: Attempting nonchalance Gale: If someone - not me, of course - detected a hint of romantic interest in them from another, unnamed individual, what might that someone do about it? devnote: Attempting nonchalance Karlach: Whoever it is, just talk to them, Gale. And leave out the hypotheticals. Gale: Talking. Right. I'm good at that.

Gale: You know, Karlach, there are other ways to express love beyond run-of-the-mill physicality... devnote: Hint of flirtation, mostly just trying to be helpful Karlach: Ugh. Are you going to try and teach me about exceptional uses for a mage hand or what? Gale: Actually, I was thinking of poetry. Karlach: Oops, sorry. But... now that I think of it... is mage hand especially hard to learn?

—

Act 02

Gale: I've always felt flames to be a rather perfect expression of love, Karlach. devnote: Romantic, indulging in the poetry of the image Gale: Passionate, primal, capable of bestowing the most life-affirming comfort, or inflicting the profoundest damage. devnote: Listing the qualities of fire. Romantic, indulging in the poetry of the image Karlach: That's... pretty nice. Never thought about it like that. But now I will.

Karlach: So, Gale - got any book recommendations for me? devnote: With concern Gale: You can read?! devnote: Taking the piss - knows full well Karlach can read, and that she's always claimed not to enjoy it Karlach: Very funny. Yes - I can read. School put me off big boring tomes. Sometimes I wonder what I'm missing. devnote: Friendly rather than flirtatious Gale: Say no more - I'll find the perfect book for you. I might even lend it to you from my library in Waterdeep. devnote: Jumping on the opportunity to give a book recommendation (a favourite hobby) Karlach: Ooh! Something with magic, please. And no devils. devnote: i.e. 'anyone who would reject you, Wyll, just can't appreciate you.'

—

Act 03

Gale: Am I to understand that you are in love now, Karlach? Karlach: I sure am. If there's hope for me there's hope for anyone.

Karlach: How's the orb treating you, Gale? devnote: With concern Gale: Oh, quite well as a matter of fact. Since it was stabilised, it's been humming along nicely. devnote: Upbeat, things are looking up Gale: I have noticed one adverse side-effect. I seem to be losing hair in some, er, unexpected places. devnote: Upbeat mood wavering - this is a bit embarassing Karlach: I can only imagine. devnote: i.e. 'anyone who would reject you, Wyll, just can't appreciate you.'

—

Karlach dies at the end of the game, Gale is the player character

Player: Karlach, please... I'm not ready to go on without you. devnote: Distraught, lover is dying.

variant 01: Karlach is dying, Gale is a friend

Gale: No, Karlach. Stay with me, please. We've shared too much to part like this.

—

Game finale (not epilogue)

Karlach is the player character

Gale gave the Crown to Mystra

Gale is in a romance with Karlach

Option 01

Gale: It's curious. After all the wonders and monstrosities we've witnessed, waking beside you seems more unreal than any of it. devnote: Wistful/peaceful - spent a romantic night with the person he loves Gale: I'd forgotten what it felt like, to greet a sunrise without fear of it being my last. devnote: Wistful/peaceful Gale: Oh, hells. I'm sorry. Barely awake a moment and I've already put my foot in it. devnote: Kicking himself, he's accidentally rubbed salt in his partner's very sore wound Player: Don't be. At least one of us will get the cure we were hoping for.

Option 02

Player: Don't be. It's not your fault. Gale: Come now - resignation doesn't suit you half as well as optimism. We'll find some other means of fixing up that infernal engine of yours. devnote: Caring/Encouraging

Option 03

Player: Knowing you, I'd expect nothing less. Gale: You always find a smile where others would soak in their sorrows. And I promise - you'll have reason to smile soon enough. Gale: When we get to Waterdeep, we'll search in my library. It's bound to contain the odd scroll on hellish thermodynamics. Or a spell that might diffuse the heat in such a way that - Gale: Ah. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Do you... that is, would you consider returning to Waterdeep with me? devnote: A bit nervous to ask - this is Karlach, after all Player: I can't. My only hope of survival is to return to Avernus - and I'm not going back. Gale: What, then? You intend to die here? Now? devnote: Refuses to believe it - essentially been told his partner is submitting to her illness

Option 04

Player: I'd love to, Gale, but I can't. My engine is done. Fully cooked. Gale: I - I don't believe it. I won't believe it. Gale: If you go were to return to the hells - temporarily - it would buy us some time. I could put something together, a means of keeping you stable at least. Please, let me try. devnote: Trying to convince her, scared by what she's saying (that she's ready to die) Player: And hand myself to Zariel on a platter? No thanks.

Option 05

Player: Say nothing. Concentrate. You feel like you might explode any second. Gale: I know that look. It's your heart isn't it? Not to worry - you have one of the finest wizards in the Realms at your fingertips.

Gale suggests going to Avernus with Karlach

Player: I'm not going back, Gale. I can't. Gale: What if... what if I went with you? devnote: Scared by his own suggestion

Option 01

Player: I couldn't let you do that. You deserve better. Gale: I deserve the chance to live my life with the raging inferno I love. If that means relocating to the hells, so be it. I've heard Avernus is quite lovely this time of year. Gale: Besides, it would be quite something to study infernal magic in its natural environs. I say 'natural' in the loosest sense, of course.

Option 02

Player: If you were with me, I might be able to handle it. Gale: There's nothing we can't handle - I promise you that. devnote: Essentially his partner just refused treatment for a terminal illness. He's putting a brave face on it so they can enjoy the time they have left. Gale: It's taken me long enough to find you. I'll be damned if I'm letting you go.

Option 03

Player: No, Gale. Neither of us is going to that pit. It all ends here. Now. I just want to see the sky one last time. Gale: If this is the end, then we face it together. That, at least, I can promise you. devnote: Heartbroken - his lover is dying next to him, thanking her for loving him

—

Gale is the player character

Karlach is a mind flayer

Gale goes back to Waterdeep

Player: I think this is where we part ways, Karlach. Karlach: I accept your assessment. You would have been an excellent helpmate in my exploration of what it is to live. But perhaps we are both of us too... changed. Karlach: Where will you go now? Player: Back to Waterdeep. I've a warm fire and a long-neglected reading list to get through.

—

Epilogue

Karlach is dead, was partnered with Gale. Karlach: I can see Gale? Withers: Indeed. His story has marched on since thy great victory - as inevitable as time itself. Let us observe.

Note: will do the rest in a separate post.

Misc banter

Gale: I think your new form rather suits you. It has a certain... cephalopodic charm to it. A tentacular tingle. devnote: Karlach will live! Yay! But she is a mind flayer

Gale: I can imagine no finer ceremorph for the job.

Gale is the player character, hasn't shared his backstory Player: I've a... condition I need to manage. I'd still be looking for a cure. Karlach: We have more in common than I knew. I won't pry for details. Right now, at least. devnote: Karlach wants the goss but won't pry

Gale is the player character, shared backstory Player: Wandering the wilds of Faerûn searching for a cure to the orb. If I lived that long... Karlach: Living a normal lifespan is so yesterday. Believe me.

—

Gale: Revenge is a dish best served hot, it seems. At least when you're in charge of the menu. devnote: Dark humour - your friend achieved her goal, but you know she'll not live long enough to celebrate

—

Gale: Ceremorphosis is Karlach's only chance of survival. It must be her. devnote: Impressed, finding this all very interesting

Gale: No sense dawdling. Karlach has precious little time left to her - we'd do better than to waste

Gale: I've not seen infernal flames like that in quite some time. Why go to Avernus, when you can bring Avernus to us? devnote: Curious/pondering - a rhetorical question, no response from player

—

Gale: I know well the pain of seeing your life's hourglass running empty, grasping at any means of slowing the grains as they slip inexorably through your fingers. devnote: Sincere, a note of pity - Gale once thought he was fated to die because of the orb, so her truly understands what she's going through Gale: Your fate may be ordained, but your actions are not. Make each breath count, and what time you have with us will never be wasted.

Gale: Karlach's fate may be ordained, but her actions are not. She will make each breath count - we can be sure of that devnote: Finding solace in the thought

—

Ilithid transformation

Player: It's okay, Gale. Karlach wants to transform. She'll do it, for herself and for us. Gale: Then I will hold my peace. But if the time comes when even her sacrifice is not enough, call on me, and I will be ready.

Gale thinks that becoming a mind flayer is his best chance at getting the Crown

Gale: I know Karlach has the best intentions, but her kind heart is not going to help me get that crown. Let me do this.

About Gale, Mystra, Elminster, etc

The dialogue lines for this section can be found in the file /Dialogs 2/Companions/Karlach_InParty_Nested_TopicalGreetings.html

—

Karlach: I couldn't help overhearing what Elminster said to Gale. Not every day a god asks for a chat. Karlach: Hey! Maybe I'm invited too. I can be the muscle.

(variation)

Karlach: I couldn't help overhearing. So Mystra wants to talk, does she? Not every day a god asks for a chat. Karlach: ...can I come?

—

Karlach learns about Mystra's message

Karlach: Fuck me. There's devotion, and then there's stupidity. If the god of magic can't handle this without sacrificing Gale, she's no god at all.

Player: I don't think he'd do that to himself, even if Mystra commanded it. Karlach: Good. I'm one hundred percent sure there's another way to bring down this cult. No true god would ask such a thing from her faithful. That's for certain. Karlach: Poor Gale. He must be in bits after hearing that. I'll distract him. Tell him I haven't read a book since secondary school, watch his face melt off. devnote: Being cheeky

Player: I'm not sure. I think he's of several minds. Karlach: Well, tell him to pick the right one. Better yet, I'll do it. Fucking wizards, man! They always need help picking the simple, obvious option. Karlach: If Mystra can't think of another way to stop the Absolute than sacrificing Gale, she's no god worth worshipping. I'll say that to Gale - in, you know, gentle terms.

—

Meeting Elminster Karlach: Aw, was that Gale's granddad?

(variation, if the player is Gale)

Karlach: Aw, was that your granddad?

—

Gale is the Player, talks about Elminster's message from Mystra

Karlach: Aw, was that your granddad? Player: That was Elminster Aumar - the most famous wizard in the realms. Player: Yes it was. Good old Grandfather Dekarios, come to check in on his doting grandson. Karlach: Lovely! You should've introduced him around. Elders love me, and I love them. Player: I'm joking, Karlach. That was Elminster Aumar, the Sage of Shadowdale, one of the greatest wizards to ever live? Karlach: Huh. Doesn't ring a bell. But all right! Must've had something important to say, if he came all this way. Good news, I hope. Player: It relates to a 'condition' I have. I carry an orb of corrupted Weave within my chest. It seems Mystra wants me to detonate that orb and destroy the 'Heart of the Absolute.'

Player: He brought instructions from Mystra. I'm to find the Heart of the Absolute, and destroy it by detonating the orb in my chest. Karlach: The orb in your chest? Shit - I knew something was going on with you, but I didn't know the particulars. Karlach: Well. Turns out we have more in common than I knew. Except I'm trying not to blow up, and you've been instructed to do just that.

Karlach: Wow. That's... that's big, Gale. This is Mystra we're talking about. Goddess of magic - and she's asking you to sacrifice yourself. Karlach: What are you thinking? devnote: As in, 'What are your thoughts about this serious revelation?' Player: This could be my chance at redemption. I have to at least consider dong what she asked. Karlach: Only you can decide if that's really true. If you owe her your life. As for me, I'm positive we can stop the Absolute without losing you, Gale. Karlach: Keep that in mind, all right?

Player: I'm not quite sure yet. It's a big decision. Karlach: No kidding. What could be bigger? Look, I know what it's like to house something dangerous inside you. But I don't know what it's like for someone else - someone I trust - to ask me to use it against myself. Karlach: If you need a friend, you know where to find me. Right here. Right now.

Player: Now that I'm over the shock, I'll probably ignore her request entirely. Karlach: I'm glad to hear you say that. It is shocking. Imagine asking someone to - to end themselves like that. Karlach: Nothing's ever simple anymore, is it? Whatever you decide, I've got your back. But I think we can defeat the Absolute without losing you, Gale.

Player: That remains to be seen. Karlach: Oh? What did he say? Player: I'd rather not talk about it right now. It's a lot to process. Karlach: All right, soldier. But look, if you're in a fix that can be solved by fire or fists, just point me in the right direction. I mean it.

Player: Elminster's no ordinary elder. He's the most renowned wizard in the realms. Karlach: Your grandfather is the most famous wizard in the realms? Karlach: I should've guessed. I mean, you're pretty powerful. Makes sense that it's in your blood. Player: No, Karlach - I was joking before. Elminster isn't my grandfather. But he did tell me something quite serious. Karlach: I'm listening. What did he say?

Karlach: Wonder if he's (Elminster) a wizard too. He's certainly got the beardliness for it

Karlach: Karlach doesn't worry, she acts. So if Gale needs me, now's the time to tell me.

—

Karlach: Wow. 'Chosen of Mystra.' I guess I should congratulate Gale. Right? devnote: Karlach is happy for Gale. Suspicious of Mystra but trying to be supportive. Karlach: I trust him to know what he's doing. To know how far to go for Mystra. I just hope he knows he doesn't need her favour to be fucking fantastic.

(variation, if partnered with Karlach)

Karlach: Wow, Gale. 'Chosen of Mystra.' Congratulations, I think? Karlach: I trust you to know what you're doing. To know how far to go for Mystra. Just know that even without her - even without any of the gods - you're still pretty fantastic. Karlach: 'Chosen of Karlach' has a ring to it, right?

—

Karlach: Whoa. I've seen a lot, but never been threatened by a god. Karlach: It sounded like Gale really meant it. He really wants to take control of the Karsite Weave. Karlach: He really wants to be a god. devnote: She's not bought in. She's assessing Gale here. Measuring him.

(variation)

Karlach: Interesting. devnote: Suspicious

If Gale is the player character

Karlach: Interesting. I'll keep that in mind. devnote: She's starting to lack trust in Gale here

—

Gale is noncommital about returning the crown

Karlach: Wow, Gale. So you spoke to Mystra, right? Karlach: Pretty spectacular stuff. But I think you were right not to do her bidding, no questions asked. Karlach: I respect the gods, but they don't always understand what they're asking of us. Maybe immortality makes it hard to know what it's like to be one of us piggies. Karlach: Proud of you, though. It takes some man to hold his own in front of the divine.

Karlach: Wow. So Gale really talked to Mystra, huh? Karlach: Pretty spectacular stuff. But he's right not to do her bidding, no questions asked. Karlach: I respect the gods, but they don't always understand what they're asking of us. Maybe immortality makes it hard to know what it's like to be one of us piggies.

—

Gale is blessed by Mystra Karlach: You're glowing, Gale. Mystra must be very pleased with you indeed. Don't forget us little people when you're the Chosen of the God of Magic, hm?

Karlach: Gale looks chuffed as cheese. Mystra must be very pleased with him. Let's hope she's got his best interests in mind.

—

Gale agrees to return the Crown to Mystra

Karlach: Wow. Gale is the 'Chosen of Mystra'. Congrats to him, I think? Karlach: Hope he knows what he's doing. We haven't fared very well with other Chosens so far.

—

Gale uses Shadow Weave

Karlach: Hope you know what you're doing, Gale. I'm no paladin for Mystra, but she probably has good reasons for forbidding Shadow Weave.

Karlach: Gale's walking a thin line. Let's hope he doesn't fall headfirst over it - again.

—

Orin kidnaps Gale Karlach: That bloody freak won't get away with this. That's my wizard she took. And we're going to get him back. devnote: Seething

—

Gale is resurrected Karlach: This fella Gale has as many lives as a cat. Handy guy to have around, huh?

—

Karlach: You all right, Gale? Looking a little shadowy about the gills.

(variation)

Karlach: Is Gale all right? He's looking a little shadowy about the gills.

—

Items and Netherese orb comments

Karlach: Wide berth, buddy. I have some good equipment I don't want you swallowing.

Karlach: The people you meet, I swear... devnote: A little bemused

Karlach: Much as I commiserate with your, you know, thingie. devnote: 'tough ticks' is a karlachism

Karlach: I like Gale, but I'm keeping all my good gear well out of sight. Karlach: Everything fancy he touches meets a grisly end. Karlach: I commiserate with his situation, though. It's tough ticks housing something you can't control.

Gale is the player character

Karlach: Hey now, what happened to that fancy bit of gear? Player: It's a long story involving the Weave, an ancient tome, and a failed attempt to please Mystra, goddess of magic. Karlach: Hm. And now you have to consume gear Karlach really wants because... Player: Because I have an orb of corrupted Weave within my chest. If I don't keep feeding it with magic, I'll explode with enough force to destroy a city. Karlach: Well, shit. And I thought I had it bad. Karlach: That's a tough hand, Gale. But I'm glad you told me. A chest-bomb shared is a chest-bomb halved, or whatever. Karlach: If I spot anything that'll help, I'll hand it right over, pal. We're in this together.

Player: Because if I didn't, I'd be dangerous to all of us. Karlach: Are we talking some kind of were-wizard situation here, or...? Player: I have an orb of corrupted Weave within my chest. If I don't keep feeding it with magic, I'll explode with enough force to destroy a city.

Player: Just because. Karlach: Wizards and their secrets. Buddy, I could ruin that mind of yours with the stories I could tell. Nothing you say could scare me. When you're ready to talk, I'm ready to listen.

Player: I had to consume it. Sorry if that scuppered any plans you had for it. Karlach: I'd mind less if I knew the full story. Never seen a fellow suck the magic-marrow out of an item before.

[gaybatmanenthusiast]

I don’t have a title xox (oneshot)

(SID JENKINS X MALE READER)

⋆★ word count : 534

⋆★ warnings : angst?

⋆★ summary : this is set right after sid gets jumped by those chicks, and instead of going home he goes to your house for comfort.

⋆★ extra : this could have been better, but it’s rushed because I just wanted to try another fic out there (1st person pov) Also i’m so bad at dialogue, I apologise …

My hands slowly traced around his features, his face was bruised and small cuts were scattered across his cheeks. A small one just barely visible on his bottom lips. He was just lying in my arms, not talking but his body was shaking slightly.

He walked into my room about fifteen minutes ago, all banged up and his shirt was ripped. I asked him what happened, but he didn’t answer me. Just coming over to curl up into my arms, he did this sometimes after fights with his Dad. I had hoped his wounds weren’t a product of another fight that had turned physical.

When l cleared my throat, he shifted around. Looking up to me with those eyes, he had a glint of green around the edges and the more you looked the more beautiful they got. “What happened to you..?” his eyes shifted looking away from mine.

“C’mon Sid, don’t be like that with me. Tell me.” My hands went to rest on his cheeks, he hissed out wincing at the sudden presence. “Not important.” His voice was low, barely audible if you were being honest.

“You’re bruised, cut and your shirt is halfway ripped off your body Sid. Plus you.. stink like piss..” He groaned, curling up a little. He still hadn’t looked back into your eyes, like he was avoiding them. “Just some, I don’t know girls.” I raised a brow, how the hell had he gotten jumped by a group of girls? At this time. “How did that manage to happen?” He stiffened at the question, I thought it was because he didn’t want to talk about the beating. “Went to Tony’s choir thing, he kissed some chick. I had to go after Michelle and things just .. went down hill.”

His voice sounded exhausted, and his eyes were clouded with something I couldn’t place my finger on. “What else? This is just about getting jumped is it.” I tried wording it as nicely as possible, not wanting him to close up in me. “I just, I don’t know anymore (M/N). I feel like I’m just fucking everything up, Tony did that because of me.” I stopped him before he could continue blabbering on.

“You don’t control what Tony does, he knows what he’s doing Sidney.” I sat up, shifting to the side of the bed. leaning over, taking his beanie off. “I know but it’s still, I still feel like I could have done something to stop him?“ His glasses are threatening to fall off his face, he flipped back. “Sometimes I feel like i’m disappointing everyone, “ He looked up to me from his position of my bed, “ Like, i’m letting everyone down all at once? I don’t know why it just feels like that.”

“Well, if it’s worth something Sid. You’ve never disappointed me, and I don’t think you ever will if i’m being honest.” His brows were furrowed and his gaze was confused “How could you be so sure?”

“You’re not like most people, you care more than you let on. I’ve know you for years, you’re better than everyone here basically.” His gazed softened, brows raising slightly. “You think so?”

“I know so.”

I GENUINELY DONT LIKE THIS IM SO SORRY, AND ITS LOWKEY CRINGE/CLICHE :/

[suffarustuffaru]

why the emilia camp thinks otto is their most threatening member 👍

i see some people being confused on why the emilia camp collectively seems to agree that otto is the biggest threat there for some reason and like. yeah. i get it.

but let me explain real quick why i think it makes sense for the emilia camp to think that :O !!

otto though is disarming because. well okay look at him he doesnt look threatening at all. he has the looks and personality of a wet cat. hes whiny. hes cringe fail. he gets stressed out with paperwork. he looks like you could just smack him around like a bug. he HAS been smacked around like a bug. but that makes him unpredictable because apart from roswaal, he is the Most Amoral one there. you can expect roswaal to be trying some shit, but youd never know when to expect otto is planning something. his moral compass is just “does this benefit me or my loved ones in some way? if not, then its gonna be gone 🥺”.

sure, he does nice things sometimes out of the goodness of his heart. he genuinely means well a lot of the time.

but also then you read the shit hes thinking in his internal dialogue and its like.

“should i go save some girl i dont even know from bandits??? hmm lemme think for a couple minutes. im the only one that can help rn… some guy claiming to be her dad is begging me to help his daughter, but also hes kind of annoying… but i dont even live in this city so why should i help… or Care. actually. but i feel kinda bad about this girl… but also this is gonna put me and my profits in danger… but if i reject helping then im forever gonna be known as the guy who abandoned them and then i wont be able to make any sales in this city anymore :<<<< ……anyway im gonna help them then lol im so smart.” and then he gets captured by the exact same bandits anyway so hes like “well okay now me and this girl might be sold into slavery so i might as well save both of us or ill feel bad ☝️☝️”

(yes. yes this is genuinely ottos thought process if you read through the Otto's Bittersweet Peddling Log side story.)

except all the back and forth Calculation he does in his head Stays In His Head and doesnt match up with his outward appearance most of the time. which means that sometimes his words dont match up with his actions. “dont be surprised if i leave at the first sign of danger,” he says, right after risking his life and writing a suicide note over a dude hes known for like four days. “ahah thanks for giving me a vacation to see my family…” he says, damn well knowing he cant go back home yet otherwise he’ll get sniped by assassins. “im gonna give you some of my own money bounty money to help you BUT BUT BUT DONT THINK THAT IM NICE OR ANYTHING I NEED MOST OF THE MONEY FOR REPAIRS OK YOU CAN ONLY HAVE A BIT :<<<“

this also means that whenever otto says or does something Particularly Questionable, all his friends are still kinda blindsided by it because otherwise otto seems Mostly Fine in comparison to whatever the hell everyone else has going on. hes just a wet pathetic cat of a guy ahah. theres nothing more going on with h—

“if everyone in vollachia dies but rem and natsuki-san live, then we’ve won. if everyone in vollachia lives but rem and natsuki-san die, then we’ve lost.”

um otto can you repeat that. what the fuck did you just say.

otto looks Mostly Normal, Just Stressed Out or Somewhat Chilling the vast majority of the time, and then he whacks you over the head with a steel chair. like can you imagine being garfiel and learning that this pathetic rag of a man is actually pretty brave when it counts. youre like “oh cool lol we kinda beat each others asses and i was Annoyed but now that thats all over i got some newfound respect for you!!” and then you read through his diary and hes got a suicide note in there, which is like. okay fine whatever hes kind of a clown just like my New Captain lol but hes dedicated to his friends, ill give him that. and then a year later you find your now brother figure (whos also lowkey highkey an alcoholic) with a broken hand after punching a wall because he couldnt do his Lets Abandon 50 Million People Plan and youre just sitting there going

and okay dont get me wrong—subaru is Batshit Crazy. in Multiple Incomprehensible Ways. if the emilia camp (or Anyone. At All.) knew about all the shit hes done and been through with rbd, subaru would INSTANTLY be skyrocketing up the Most Threatening People list. but at the same time subarus less threatening than otto in the sense that subarus Always going to want to do good. hes Always going to want to save everyone. hes Extremely forgiving, on top of that. he goes along picking up friends everywhere he goes in his own Incomprehensible Unhinged Way and hes fond of All of them.

otto? yeah his opinion of you could shift on a dime and you could end up in his personal shit list unless youre one of the *checks list* *clears throat* maybe like ten people he cares about. and even if youre on the I Care About You! :) list, he could still get pissed enough at you to, i dont know, punch a wall over you? and spiral into obsession? and even if hes not upset at you hes still gonna mansplain manipulate malewife his way to his goals <33

and yeah of course subaru is also Mansplain Manipulate and Gaslight Gatekeep but at least he has way more good intentions AND his attitude about it is gonna be like "sorry :<<< i just gotta do this for your sake :<<<<<< :((( haha dont worry about it". subaru would never ever want to do anything big to hurt his loved ones (except for rbd). while otto doesnt even bat an eye. everyone can be manipulated if he has to. he goes down his list of Things I Need To Do and goes "yeah that had to be done. oh well. anyway i got more shit to do (like maybe kill a toddler lol)"

also lets talk about roswaal's perspective really quick. post-arc 4 hes like "well subaru-kun is always gonna want to save everyone and hes doing a pretty good job of things in general so whatever lol. i can still keep him in check by killing everyone if even one of his friends dies :)". so its like. YEAH subarus an Unhinged Wildcard. roswaal knows that. but right now subaru is more predictable and also again, roswaal knows he can keep subaru in check by making subaru have to reset if roswaal really needs to.

but otto? yeah ottos second in line for being an Unhinged Wildcard. but whats even worse is that otto is Basically Subaru but More Calculating and with a moral backbone thats Near Nonexistent. roswaal was genuinely concerned for otto in arc 8 for once and there was still Literally No Stopping Otto from being a stubborn little shit whos hell bent on all the maladjusted insane mentalities hes got floating around in his head, half of which he doesnt even say out loud, and all of which he thinks is Completely Right and that theres Nothing Wrong with what hes doing.

and also otto being underestimated and Not In The Tome was a big help as to how subaru got the win over roswaal in arc 4 👍and then otto Continues to try keeping an eye on roswaal after arc 4, to the point of getting roswaal's tome and actively trying to investigate roswaal's actions, so roswaal is Very Aware that otto is. a bit of a threat. roswaal of course is smarter and more powerful than otto though, but that still doesnt change the fact that otto is still capable of being a threat if roswaal doesnt Also kind of keep an eye on otto back. because roswaal kind of lost to otto already in arc 4!!

but okay, on top of all of this, no one knows the full extent of whats going on with otto, not even roswaal (though he has his Suspicions), and most definitely not subaru yet (whos Still a bit of an otto apologist anyway), and otto is already a bit menacing even without knowing All of that. and the rest of the emilia camp are already a bit more lenient with roswaal (as hes seemingly chilled out after arc 4 + they all need him still). that, and you can easily Expect roswaal post-arc 4 to be suspicious and Probably up to something. you wont know what it is, but you wont Exactly be surprised when it happens.

and also roswaal isnt publicly batshit crazy like otto is. otto of course isnt as Openly Weird as subaru, but otto is still Openly Unhinged and Pathetic. just look at him declaring julius and anastasia, HIS CAMP'S ALLIES, as enemies right to their faces alsdfjlsdjfl.

and with subaru, there is Zero doubt in the emilia camp's minds that subaru wants the best for them and everyone around them.

otto though? yeah he also wants whats best for the camp. he Cares about them, he really does. but hes so obviously Questionable by the time you get to arc 8 to the point where the entire rest of the camp starts eyeing him like this:

theres also the fact that ottos dp allows him to have eyes and ears Everywhere so long as he doesnt overuse it. that paired with his Intelligence, Stubbornness, and Lack of Morals or self-awareness/sometimes guilt/regret over his actions is dangerous. theres a reason why gluttony if subaru decided to flood The Entire Surrounding Area Around Otto. the flood took away the potential army otto couldve made out of the animals and allies otto had in the city, and once you do that, whats otto going to do against someone like shaula? all of ottos power regarding his People Skills and Animal DP was stripped away.

but if that Isnt stripped away... well honestly otto can do whatever the hell he wants the moment he figures out a solid plan to try and get what he wants. his biggest ability at the core of what makes him dangerous is his ability to quite Literally be in the background. so long as hes underestimated, so long as he still has secrets, no ones gonna know the full extent of his bullshit!! you cant stop him if you dont even realize what hes going to do, and hes Good at doing that!!

and if gluttonybaru hadnt taken out otto, subaru would be skyrocketing right to the top of ottos shit list after subaru literally just killed All of ottos (and previously subarus.) loved ones. otto wouldnt stop until he figured out how to destroy subaru. its to the point where im pretty sure if otto had to choose between destroying half the world vs kill gluttonybaru once and for all, otto would certainly choose one of those options in a Heartbeat.

anyway. if youre an emilia camp member, and you see the dude whos in charge of the Vast Majority of the factions political affairs, the guy who you Know is very intelligent and competent and determined when it counts, say shit like "if everyone dies in this entire country i wouldnt even give a single flying fuck as long as our friends get back safe and sound :) it would be such a loss if the entire country lived but our friends didnt :<<<" OF COURSE I WOULD BE LIKE YEAH THAT GUY IS THE MOST DANGEROUS ONE HERE. HE HAS THE SKILLS AND THE MOTIVATION TO BACK UP THAT STATEMENT AND I WONT EVEN KNOW WHEN ITD HAPPEN. he also has the Mental Instability to back that up too, given the amount of times he spends drinking and Raging and Being Terribly Anxious over Every Little Thing.

youll be sweating buckets being wary of otto while ottos casually standing there with his wet cat looks and a knife in your back.

and otto has, for the most part, some of the most normal trauma compared to a bunch of people in this cast (not to discount ottos trauma and pain or anything but its true lajdsfls sorry otto. but also im not sorry because arc 5 was partially on you T^T). he doesnt have rbd, he doesnt have some weird family drama bullshit going on like the astreas or emilias family or the segmunts, he hasnt been erased by gluttony, etc etc. but hes still like this. if you put him in subarus position and gave him rbd, he would get even worse than he already is.

yeah so anyway thats my quick rambley psa about why i think it makes sense that the emilia camp's voted otto as the most threatening one there 👍

but the fact that we (the audience) (or at least some of us!!) keep questioning why the hell the emilia camp thinks otto is the biggest threat there is means that otto's funny silly guy image is. Kind of Working??? just a little bit.

because. granted. of course i think subaru is easily the most threatening person there with both His Flavor of Insanity and rbd. subaru is an eldritch horror in every single way. but at the same time - hes an eldritch horror who thinks friendship is the best magic of all T^TT !!! he FORGIVES PEOPLE WHO'VE KILLED AND TORTURED HIM. hes not threatening in this sense - the fact that hes kind of just way too nice in this sense!!! granted yes, he IS abusing rbd and Terrifying and Threatening in a multitude of ways, but i'd rather take my chances with mainbaru over main otto right now HAH T^TT at least subaru will apologize and start bawling his eyes out if he stabs some random innocent civilian and stranger in the gut for Some Necessary Reason!! otto would feel a bit bad and then completely Eradicate that feeling of guilt with "i had to do it. it was them or me so no regrets <3".

because otto..................... yeah otto is the Worlds Most Pathetic Yandere to his whole camp.

[marzipanthots]

The final confrontation. part 5

FINALE

( ahem there is a little 🌶️ 😳) going forward. -> ( NON OF THIS CANON ITS ALL MY DELUSIONS 🤝🏻💓)

CHECK OUT THE REST OF THE PAGES <3

Part 1 https://www.tumblr.com/marzipanthots/739088900268621824/final-confrontation

part 2 https://www.tumblr.com/marzipanthots/739089572371316736/the-final-confrontation-part-2-part-1

Part 3 https://www.tumblr.com/marzipanthots/740247756195725312/the-final-confrontation-part-3-ahem-there-is-a

Part 4 -https://www.tumblr.com/marzipanthots/740936668818882560/the-final-confrontation-part-1

Part 5 - (FINAL CHAPTER/THE END)

https://www.tumblr.com/marzipanthots/740937005675003904/the-final-confrontation-part-1

Please let me know if the dialogue is cringe i actually do want to improve on the skill set💓💕🫣😭 thank you for tuning in and enjoying my work. It’s fun to share!!

AHHHHHH I AM TO SHY FOR TAGS you could blame these last three panels for taking forever. Each was about eight hours of work.🔥🔥🔥🫣🫣🫣🫣🤣🤣🤣

I never wanna work on another background ever again

But will i ever make another long comic????

HELL NO (jk it’s fun and rewarding when it’s completed but going through the process is painful lamaooaoa)

I might stick to the canon book for now on and make 2 to 3 panels short version

I think I got the old world out of my system. I wanna go back to the regency era cause I miss my regency boys and girls.🥹

But if there’s any other, moments you would like to see you, let me know, and I’ll think about it💕💓

[helpallthenamesaretakensblog]

EP 4 was just mostly talking and conversations, but there was so much depth THAT I MUST TALK ABOUT IT.

I could literally feel the anguish exuding out of Sally trying to teach Percy to swim

Ngl i was a lil skeptical about azrien’s acting but hearing that scream changed everything

“Hey, you still sleeping?” “Yes” she’s so relatable i love it

i thought we were going to wait until the zebra truck scene for the trauma bonding but we got some of it now which is cool and also makes me wonder whether they’re going to take it to a whole level in the zebra truck scene

I kinda like how annabeth knows so much about grover their dynamic in the show is just so chef’s kiss

I dont know if the whole “thalia made me earn it” thing is canon but its an interesting spin on their dynamic

Grover is such a mood pls shoutout to grover (this episode focused a lil more on percy and annabeth’s dynamic)

Its interesting how they changed frederick chase in the show. In the book frederick never wanted annabeth but in the show frederick loved annabeth. It makes more sense now that percy asks her to go back especially in the books, that was very controversial to have annabeth seem like she was overexaggerating about what she went through with them

i was waiting for them to introduce the searcher pan stuff i almost thought they’d erased it, thankfully they brought it up

ANNABETH’S FACE WHEN THE COP CALLED HER A “LITTLE GIRL” LEAH YOU’RE A ROCKSTAR

Medusa>>>>echidna in the show IM SORRY ECHIDNA WOULDN’T STOP TALKING

The architect in annabeth is coming out i hope she explicitly talks about it later on

I don’t think the writers knew what to do with grover when percy and annabeth were talking so they just made annabeth a little unnecessarily rude for some reason?? At least its better than the movies, where annabeth and grover just WALK AWAY from hermes and percy

i didnt expect the random posh voice it threw me off but it was so funny

OK but can someone help me with this? Percy in this scene says “i have a gift” to annabeth? Could someone pls explain? What gift?

Last episode i was cringing at the screen at percy for the “can’t we just call your mom?” This episode i was cringing at the screen for annabeth’s “you wanna say hi to your dad :))))” these kids have no sense of touchy subjects do they

you’ve done so much more to me in the past few days than poseidon has done in my whole life. If i have to stick with somebody, i—“ “be careful, you were about to call me a friend” THIS DIALOGUE IS SO PRECIOUS ITS WORTH A BILLION DOLLARS

Im suspicious about the percabething this series is doing so far, i feel like its too early, its giving me a feeling that there’s going to be some big angst thats going to happen later on to break the world

When Percy fell, i was genuinely thinking he was going to give annabeth a hug lol (“wow annabeth no you are my friend!!” Something like that)

alexa play jump and fall by ts

I love that they’re expanding the consequences that came with sending medusa’s head to olympus, and how it negatively impacted annabeth, which will probably turn angsty later on

Also, percy looks half dead

The plan to push annabeth into the stairs was executed so smoothly wow

i like they are exploring the very concerning side of percy too, the part of him thats like “im the useless one im ready to die no probs” ALSO THALIA PARALLELS THEY’RE DEF GONNA TOUCH ON THAT NEXT EPISODE

i like how the water grabbed percy like a little tunnel

Its so funny how the nereid says poseidon’s name and percy just starts struggling more like “HELL NO”

THE PARALLELS OF THE START OF THE EPISODE OF PERCY TELLING SALLY TO BREATHE AND THE END OF THE EPISODE OF NEREID TELLING PERCY TO BREATHE

What the heck is that throne thing? Why is percy turning golden? What is happening? HUGGGGGG!! (Too early, as i said), oh look ares—OMG ITS ARES!!

[littlemonstert-blog]

I cant help but to laugh at twitter.

I honestly can't deal with people getting mad about some of the changes Castlevania Noturne.

I think Castlevania Noturne is alright besides a couple of cringe dialogue in certain episodes & a couple of moments felt off. Other then that its ok

Like a soild 7.5-8/10

This isn't the first time they changed something about the story or character in this franchise and it won't be the last.

Like I get that want to stick to the "source material"

Its basicaly the same as last castlevania kill vampires

NOUTURNE theme is about freedom for almost every character.

Let's be honest here...

All they really did was put more emphasis with the french evolution compared to the game it was based around that time.

Recycling the dracula plot line like the game isn't gonna work bc of the show he doesn't hate humans anymore.

Even castlevania has gone off the rails and add stuff to their game that really doesn't fit in.

The videos I've seen have said they are loosely adapting Rondo of Blood into Symphony of the Night.

The show clearly explains why Annette & her friend are here for.

Then there's Annette the race swapping. People are upset about this so much.

Once in game she was just richter girlfriend & damsel n distress (which isn't bad if written correctly)

Idk why it that upsetting bc she didn't have much of a major role in the story

I get the wanted them to follow the "source material"...

(The writers to have some fault in this & could have handle it better)

But... as for the fans...where was all this energy for Issca

He still throughout the series became one of the best characters.

I didn't hear too many complaints about him.

A story about belmont vampire hunters fighting Dracula over and over again...but a something a bit different mixed in they throw a fit.

It fantasy with magic & monsters but as soon as you see a black person all hell is gonna break loose

The comments are ridiculous too.

The irony in this post is that JAPAN based game and manga have done this before with approval.

DMC Morrison

One piece live action with ODA's approval

I go on but i got limited images i can use but the FINAL nail in the coffin

What the netflix castlevania account tweeted out.... It didn't go so well a post and delete.

About Annette(joking out of context) saying Richter was basically useless after a certain event had him running away. (Something about the belmonts)

.

This person didnt even watch the show yet they judge an out of context scene.

I do see alot of people defending the netflix post heck some people that are fan of the games enjoy it too.

I gonna be honest if you don't like the show that's fine. But if you haven't watched the show just stop talking. Let people enjoy it.

[monofazz]

I dunno about you but berdly us the most in denial, amanormativity entrenched aro gamer i have ever seen.

You think he knows what romance feels like? Have you seen how he acts? Guy is courting girlies like its a white knight video game and choosing from 3 lines of dialogue that all lead to getting the girl. Did you see how fast he moved on from noelle?

He has no idea what the hell he is doing or what romance is to him hes so cringe and bullyable please be nice to him

[phantomrose96]

Saying this (perhaps, at great risk) as someone who has never read Homestuck, and has simply been Aware of Homestuck both during its peak and its fall: whenever you fucks share a screenshot of dialogue from Homestuck it looks funny as hell. It leaves me genuinely and dangerously curious to know how much of modern-day-Homestuck-cringe-culture is truly about the source material vs how much is actually just about atoning for all the gray paint perma-stained into all those hotel conference room chairs from 2012.

[nicegaai]

im attempting my fic reread today. im announcing this bc i will be liveblogging to keep my morale up, NOT THAT anyone cares but i personally need this, like ill only commit to do the thing if theres an imaginary audience holding me accountable. & i like to have fun :3

anyway. captains log, its a beautiful sunny july weekend. i just finished my morning coffee, and, i am dreading this so much. i dont like rereading my own writing but i shall get over it. ok here we go.

Þetta Reddast vagueblogged directors commentary edition

Ch 1:

*opens fic and starts convulsing immediately* god i wish i smoked weed rn. i cannot chill out ever for the life of me

My Mission For Today Is: to remember what plot threads I’ve left hanging so I can resolve this story properly. And also try n remember where the flow is going. I have the end plotted out, I just am a little lost … it’s been a while :-(

------------

Abrupt beginning!!!! I’m not mad because I have . I HAD. Almost no writing experience when I started this. it isn’t ideal but I refuse to be one of those fanfic writers that starts rewriting early chapters without finishing the last ones. Ive never seen one of those types actually finish a longfic. …I’d already rather yap than actually read LMAO AHH

Oh this is worse than I remember. thats cool that s great ok alright *coughs up blood*

"20 somethings" WOW I really did not know where I was going with this when I started huh

LKJSDLKSJDLGKGDJSLDGJK ??? Who authorized this. Who let me cook. What the hell

I could write this better now. I could edit this into something beautiful. <- devil on my shoulder

FORGOT I WAS MAKING RICE BRB

"generously offered nothing to the exchange." wait STOPPPP. I’m so funny

GRAMMAR ERROR DETECTED why is there two periods. I’ll be coming back to fix that …………………. :-(((

Fuck. This is a lot. Marge Simpson Hiding Her Face dot Png

Oh this is stupid this is gayyy this is fukcinnn . Who fucking did t his. What was wrong with me,. This is so good actually. what was i ONNNN. 

Im gonna throw up and I don’t know if thats like/. A complimentary thing or if im just cringing that hard . Im feeling emotions. I love my OTPs..OT3~5? I love them so so much

Ok as much as im like “eww bad writing” this is .. dare I say, rly good in places. Not to suck my own dick but maybe all hope isnt lost and imposter syndrome is an illusion

Grammar mistake #2. Goddddddd. they should ban me from the archive for this

EMILLLLL EMIL EMIL EMIL HIIIIII BABYYYY EMILLL I LOVE UUUU AWWHUUGHH everyone clap for my bewoved baby bruvver right FUCKING now

Urghhh gritting my teeth… Im fully expecting the flow of events to start not making any gd sense. There’s no way this came together the way I hoped in my head and .... For real I was never able to read this all the way thru. this is my first time, lol. and it was all disjointed on the authorial end to say the least. Im scared T-T

Jlxjvklsdkjfsjlkdkjlsjklkljzsdkjlgaskljdgjklasljkgdljkasljkdgjklasjlkdgljkaskljdgjakl?????????? 

Im not liking the ratio of dialogue to whatever the other stuff is. scene-setting I guess. prose maybe. i could have dragged this out way longer... By which I mean made it a more satisfying read. But WHATEVER !!!! 

TIMO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TIMOOOOOOOOOO NUMERO UNOOOO DO MUNDOOOOOO I really need to utilize him more. As soon as I finish this fic I need to write a Timo POV spinoff where he gets cancelled on furry twitter for proshipping in real life

Hmmmm chapter ending didn’t hit as hard in practice as it did in drafts. Oh well. God damn that was a lot to happen in one chapter LMAOO???

OH SHIT MY RICE IS STILL COOKING —— 

[kitttttchaos]

I’d like to explore the idea of this new generation of stories. A lot of people are bringing up the fact that stories nowadays don’t feel like they used to, in the sense that so many are not well developed, especially with the influence of social media. So what does this mean for the next generation of readers, writers, and filmmakers?

I’ve noticed that a lot of the new things coming out are written as if for children, but executed as if for adults. Mean Girls 2024 is like the Gen Alpha remix. The dialogue and the costuming is catered as if towards middle school girls, but it seems like writers are forgetting just how young middle schoolers are. I’m willing to bet that high schoolers would find the new mean girls very cringe, but middle schoolers wouldn’t. But the trailer makes it seem so sexual that it can’t possibly be written for an audience of twelve-year-olds. The same goes for the live action Avatar remake. The plot and dialogue is written like it’s for kids who can’t fully comprehend personal growth, but there’s so much violence that it can’t possibly be for kids. (To be fair, I haven’t watched either of these for myself, so take it with a grain of salt, but I think the people who have would agree; also no hate to the people involved in either production) But then you remember that some twelve year olds are full blown media influencers, who dress and speak about things inappropriate for their age, and in turn encourage their young viewers to do the same (ie. Sephora kids)

Eight graders are like armies for the media. Think about how One Direction exploded due to its audience. How the Sephora kids thing has been started by social media influencers. So, are filmmakers and writers trying to cater to the next generation of oddly mature consumers? If so, it seems like they’ve hit the mark. It’s a little too early to see how examples like Avatar will do in terms of money, but Mean Girls has grossed over $100mil in comparison with a $36mil budget, and if more things written like it do similarly in the box office, I can’t say I’d be surprised.

But even if art imitates life, life will also imitate art. The newer books and movies of today (when I say books I mean the mish mosh of tropes that get pushed around on TikTok, but that’s a whole other thing. Even so, they cater to a generation of readers who doesn’t seem to have grown up on reading) get the idea of kids that are so immature, even though they discuss and dress like they aren’t. But what those movies don’t get, in their haste to mirror Gen Alpha, is that kids are also complex human beings. The original Avatar got that, and so did the original Mean Girls. The reason I keep bringing up books is bc I was thinking about the Spirit Animals series, which is criminally underrated for its brilliant portrayal of character growth and redemption arcs, that I read when I was a kid. As Gen Z, do we want the next generation to grow up with horribly flat, oversexualized stories? We critique Gen Alpha’s inappropriate maturity, but we’re also the ones who are going to be writing for Gen Alpha in the future.

This idea is a little thrown together, and probably someone else has said it, but I think that we need to stop writing what sells. Stop the consumerist take on reading, of buying thousands of trashy romance novels to never pick up again. Stop writing cash grabs like Wish. Stop trying to mirror something about a generation that is not fully developed. I want Gen Alpha to have the feeling of being completely immersed in a story as a kid, and then growing up and thinking it was a story just for kids, but reading/watching it again and realizing just how good it was. But they won’t have that with this fast take on stories. What kid is going to enjoy the hell out of Wish, come back at 22, and think, “Wow, this is brilliant.”? But people do that all the time with the original ATLA.

I kinda hate myself writing this, but does anybody get what I mean? Why are stories getting so bad? Why are the things that make the most money absolute trash???

Anyway lol. Grain of salt, just my thoughts, yada yada yada. Lmk if u agree.

[morelikeravenbore]

imma be cheeky and ask for 3 and 4: what’s your favourite lines of narration and dialogue? 💚

Well hello there, small green gremlin, and what a wonderful trench coat you have on today!

Thanks for the question! I'm answering yours first because I thought it'd be the easiest. Plot twist: it was hard af (that's what she said.)

✨ Favourite narration. I loove writing prose. One of my biggest inspirations is L. M. Montgomery and the way every single paragraph she writes is just stunningly beautiful — not that I dare compare myself to a talent like hers, but bloody hell, nothing else inspires me quite like her work does.

I remember being stoked on this description of Hogsmeade when I first wrote it, and I don't cringe reading back on it so, that's a good sign, I guess.

Like everything in the Scottish Highlands, Hogsmeade village appeared to have grown right out of the earth itself, all mossy-greens and earthy-browns as if its architects had been garden gnomes and fairies. Rows of precariously leaning shopfronts lined the cobbled streets, their facades reaching toward the sky like twisted tree trunks, crooked and uneven. Aurélie would not have been surprised to learn that Hogsmeade hadn't been built at all, but grown from the soil up. Where she'd come from, everything had been pink, not green. Her home of Toulouse, whose magnificent terracotta buildings had given it the nickname La Ville Rose, was a far cry from the rugged wilds of Scotland. Though, much like Hogsmeade, Toulouse was a maze of narrow streets, there was nothing organic about the Pink City; everything within it had been meticulously crafted, a living fairytale, a refined work of art that glowed pink and gold whenever the sun set over its stunning facade. A rose quartz city, her mother used to call it. More starkly still, Beauxbatons had been clean and white, adorned with trimmings of gold and powder blues. Grand and imposing with its seven stories of gleaming alabaster marble, soaring windows and endlessly high ceilings, it had surely been built by angels, not garden gnomes. Taking in her surroundings, Aurélie was certain there were no Baroque carvings or gilded mirrors in the Highlands; no silk curtains or velvet sofas, no marble fireplaces or tapestries woven with unicorn hair, and surely when the sun set over the tiny magical village, there was not a shade of pink to be seen. And yet, for all its ramshackle structures and muddy roads, Hogsmeade was not without its charm; uneven and loud, yes - but alive. - How to Make a Villain, chapter 8.

✨Favourite dialogue. I freakin love writing dialogue nom nom nom, especially the flirty bickering between Sebastian and Aurélie. Its my favourite. I could write an entire book of nothing but these two pretending they're not into eachother. No plot, only banter.

Merlin, and here he was thinking that Anne had been the most exasperating girl he'd ever known. 'What rubbish!' she snapped, suddenly sounding very French again. 'You can't seriously believe that nonsense! I'm not going to turn into some soulless creature of darkness just because I want to keep my magic under control! What kind of ridiculous concept is that? What sort of Dark-Arts-loving nutjob wrote this book, anyway?' - Sebastian tried really, really hard not to laugh at this, - 'and why should I believe what's written in some crusty old book, anyway? You know what, just forget I told you anything about this whole stupid magic thing! I don't want to talk about this ever again! And don't you dare tell another living soul, Sebastian Sallow, or I swear -' 'Please,' he scoffed, 'who am I going to tell?' 'I don't know!' she burst out. 'All your girlfriends probably!' Sebastian choked. 'Girlfriends?' he spluttered. 'What girlfriends? You think I have girlfriends? Plural?' 'I don't know!' 'I don't even have one girlfriend, let alone several!' 'Well, you seem...' she gestured at him, visibly flustered, 'popular!' 'I'm not popular!' 'Well, I don't know, do I? I don't know anything about you, but you know all these secrets about me and I don't even know if you-' '-have a girlfriend?' 'No! I mean - that's not - I don't care if - that was just an example!' - How to Make a Villain, chapter 11.

OOP OKAY THIS WAS LONG. THANKS AGAIN FOR THE QUESTION. SORRY IF I WENT OVERBOARD LOL.

How to Make a Villain: wattpad | ao3

[bentosandbox]

hell yea comics. 10, 23, 30, 40, 41 if you like

10. How do you decide what to write?

A little parasite in my brain says hmm today i will do thing and i just roll with the cringe

23. What’s a trope, AU, or concept you’ve never written, but would like to?

omegaverse i think it'd be extra fun when it's 2 emotionally constipated office workers vs a pairing like texlapp whoa who said that does 'daydreamed and doodled a bit but didn't start on anything solid yet' count as never written if yes its then wuxia AU where chen and lin switch places kinda (basically want to extrapolate that part in chen's op rec where the rat king invited her underground)

30. Have you ever written something that was out of your comfort zone? If so, what was it, and how did it affect your approach to writing fic thereafter?

this chen and hoshi one technically but also the chen and swire one that i still havent posted in english so sorryyyyy (i wrote them at the same time iirc.. just didnt have time to draw the second one until later)

first time i forced myself to write internal monologues AND angst in an actual script on google docs instead of just dumping lines i want characters to say in my own discord server channel shoutout to my friend who gassed me up with the comments they left on the doc lmao 'damn i wanna make the angsty af introspective comics i always see' > 'wait damn i have to make it myself fawjkkkkkkkk'

idk if it affected my approach because the Very Serious chen and Lin character study comic i had planned ended up being a shitposty copybook so i went back to my old style of smashing dialogue in a notepad (if the anon that sent the ask about this comic sees this sorry i got cold feet and i still havent exported it out of my tablet)

40. Do you tend to reread fics or are you a one-and-done kind of person?

we don't have a choice do we...

i did just reread the fic i mention below tehe i do reread CN fics way more because sometimes ill be lazy and read it through machine translate while other times i'll sit down and try to translate it (in my head) while EN fics have an easier time searing into my mind

41. Link a fic that made you think, “Wow, I want to write like that.”

its not cheating right

fr tho to write fever dream-esque(?) scenarios that end in girlfail...!!

ok the chenswire one aside the nearl one is also a favourite something about looking at the tired human through the chinks in the infallible knight's armor

[crystalelemental]

Crystal Lore: Final Fantasy X was the first Final Fantasy I played to completion. At the time, my friends at school who had Playstation consoles were all big into FF7, and insisted I should try it. Well as fortune would have it, my step-brothers had a Playstation 2, so there was hope. But by that point, FF7 was hard to specifically find, and it would take a while before I got ahold of it. FF10, however, was current, so my father got me that. It was the second RPG I ever played, after Grandia 2, which was part of a Dreamcast bundle game my dad got. The fact that both games heavily featured an evil church and defeating god with a group of teenagers meant that I assumed every RPG was just like that.

Anyway, all this to say I actually really like FF10. It's a fun game! It's goofy, but in a way that felt sincere! The specific dialogue is awkward at times, more a matter of direction than anything, but but I loved this game. So unlike the PS1 era, my recollection of its main story was very strong, and I went into this kinda knowing I'd vibe with it. Still, much to talk about.

Usual disclaimer going into this: a lot of my desire to replay the series as a whole stems from playing the Pixel Remasters, then watching Professor Bopper's analysis videos on the games. He has one out for the PS2 games now, and as usual, the assessment of game's themes is deeper than anything I would've come up with on my own, so I'll be trying to stick to personal thoughts or anything I can add while shilling his videos. I like them a lot.

Shortly after the era in which I played this, we had that era of the internet where reviewers would kinda tear into everything for sport. FF10 was, of course, caught in the blast, for being kind of bizarre in a lot of its framing and stilted in its voice direction. Of particular harm was Tidus, a protagonist who is cringe as hell. His dad is a major star sportsman who became a legendary guardian, turning around his shittier ways for the sake of saving a world he barely knows. Comparatively, Tidus is often seen as a whiny braggart who acts petulant about most things. I'm not here to say that Tidus is not those things, but I am here to say that's kind of why I vibe with him.

A major takeaway of the Bopper video is that Tidus, as someone external to Spira who doesn't think like its inhabitants, is the only one capable of looking for solutions outside of the cycle of abuse, violence, and death. Examining Tidus through that lens does offer quite a lot, pretty much from second one. The blitzball angle is played up a lot, and one of the earliest scenes around it is Tidus agreeing to play for Wakka's team. When he asks Wakka about his goals, Wakka expresses he just wants to do his best with no regrets, to which Tidus (correctly) goes "no, absolutely not, if you're gonna play you play to win." The idea of actually winning at the sport he plays never even crossed Wakka's mind. It just never seemed like a possibility, and thus wasn't something worth pursuing. How could there be anything outside of his belief?

This continues all the way through their confrontation with Yunalesca in Zanarkand. They're told the Final Aeon is bunk, they're told that Yuna and one of the guardians must die to see it through anyway, and start lining up to volunteer. When Tidus presses his objections, the others call him childish, and he has to ask "then what would an adult do? Just let Yuna die?"

What I wound up really liking about Tidus is that, while his visions of what should be done seem loftly to the point of absent idealism, he's grounded in material outcomes. You play the sport because you want to win. You fight Sin because you want it gone for good, and no half-measures will cut it. No one should die for something that won't fix a problem. Any fight that's lasted hundreds of years means something is being done wrong. It's an interesting angle, having your petulant, childish protagonist actually be the most materially sensible person here. It also makes for a strong contrast with Seymour, who is similarly about material ends. He signs off on the Operation Mi'ihen plan to destroy Sin with machina, not because he thinks it'll work, but because it's worth trying a different way, and everyone is doing this for the right reasons. Tidus even comments that while it's not something he's supposed to say for his station, what Seymour says there made sense to him.

But their differences are the thematic heart of the story. While Tidus seeks a way to fully defeat Sin, Seymour, like the rest of Spira, cannot see beyond what they know. Seymour's only perceived solution is to accelerate the cycle until it can no longer replicate. When everything is dead, nothing can die, and thus we have defeated Sin. He embodies the defeatist attitudes of the world at large, and the depressing acceptance that things just have to be this way.

The other angle I think is interesting is the dynamics of power and those at the top. There's the obvious in Jecht's braggart nature and constantly putting down his son, but you also have things like the Luca Goers being poor sports and getting away with it because they're favored to win, Biran and Yenke being assholes to Kimahri because Biran's the strongest of the Ronso, or the maesters of Yevon doing whatever they want because you know we need proper leadership so we'll twist the teachings for ourselves while the rest of you sacrifice yourselves. There's a constant sort of bullying going on in the foreground, and wild abuses of power within the structures that govern the world.

But it's important to remember that in his world, Tidus was at the top. He was the best player of the best team, and from his position at the top...he's willing to teach kids how to play, engages more casually with his fans, and builds up Wakka's team of losers so bad they've never won a singular game by insisting any of them could learn the Jecht Shot with enough practice. Tidus is unique in Spira, in how he refuses to really abuse his position. It's a huge point of pride he has, and it's something he throws around a bit to show why he's able to back up his claims, but he's never hostile toward others about it.

This leads into the bigger aspect: everyone in Spira is really bad at love.

Auron makes a point of showing Tidus that no, Jecht really did love you. He cared deeply, but his means of showing that were atrocious. Similarly, Biran and Yenke torment Kimahri, with the belief that if he holds to shame, he will improve as a warrior like they'd want for him. This doesn't work, Kimahri can't overcome them until he finds someone he's willing to fight and potentially die for, but the point remains. In Spira, love is shown in the manner you think is best for them, and it...does not go well.

Yuna's arranged marriage to Seymour really hammers this in. Lulu talks about how sure, she would want Yuna to marry for love, but she can't. Yuna is destined to sacrifice herself, and thus there is no place for her feelings in the matter. The love she must endure is what others want for her, and only Tidus really calls this out as incredibly messed up. Seymour's ambition here is to become the Final Aeon and jump to Sin, which is fully explained when you meet Yunalesca and understand the process. Yunalesca explains the Final Aeon as an "act of love," be it between partners or friends. The willingness to sacrifice yourself for another is the act of love that can defeat Sin.

...except we know that doesn't work. Lingering in the background the whole game is Chappu, Lulu's fiance and Wakka's brother, who became a Crusader to fight Sin. In his passed-on words, he believed "Keeping your girl close is good, but keeping Sin far away from her is better." With that belief that the way Lulu needed to be loved was by him fighting...he died. Uselessly, he died, and the trauma of his loss continues to hurt Lulu and Wakka even now. By loving them in the way he felt best, rather than in the way they would have wanted, he caused more harm than good. This is a microcosm of the cycle of Sin. The Final Aeon is born from an act of love - the love you believe is best for others. But this act causes others harm, and it contorts, recreating Sin in an endless cycle.

(Quick note I can't fit in anywhere else: this is also why Seymour is the way he is. His mother sacrifices herself to become an aeon, anticipating it will make him strong enough to live on his own as he needs to being half-human half-Guado, but loving him like she thinks is best fails him entirely and he falls into a sense that death is the only way out, so whoopsie.)

This is, again, where Tidus is unique. He alone loves others as they would want. He cares deeply for Yuna as a person, and engages her at a personal level, never once deciding that self-sacrifice is a viable option. He connects with Wakka over blitzball and resolves to help Wakka, but pushes Wakka to remember why he picked up the game in the first place. He encourages Kimahri to push back on Biran and Yenke's abuse. For all his whining in Luca about "Why did I have to know, why did it have to be me?" He's right. No one ever really considered his feelings in the matter on...well, anything. And in his position as a star player, in what capacity he can, he's determined not to inflict that same pain on anyone else. He loves deeply and earnestly, but most important, he loves others in the way they would want, and doesn't impose what he believes is best on anyone. I dunno, I...really liked Tidus, actually.

By gameplay, the game is excellent. Characters feel distinct from one another, but notably, the system allows for a fast-paced rotation of characters in and out of battle without consuming a turn. By setting up enemy encounters with a sort of "X beats Y" mentality, you rotate your party around frequently, giving everyone ample play, in order to make the most of your characters. At a basic level, Tidus can beat the fast wolf and lizard enemies, Wakka beats fliers, Lulu beats elementals, and Yuna summons for the major HP blobs like Ochu. What this culminates in is boss fights where you have a machine weak to Electric attacks, but it has a flying magic-suppressant, so you lead with Wakka and Kimahri to take out the suppressor then swap in Yuna and Lulu to dish out heavy damage. It's a great system.

The level up system is also replaced with the Sphere Grid. You actively move your character along a line of progression toward stat boosts and skills, and it's...okay, it's a little too heavy on micromanagement, but it's not much of a problem, and opens up options for customization. Kimahri is the poster child for this, being your Blue Mage who can take any given path to copy another player's stats and skills. I went with White Mage because healing good, but I made sure to grab Steal and Use too for utility. I was also able to double back and get Lulu Lancet so MP was never a concern, and had Yuna (and Kimahri) cross over into Lulu's grid to pick up -aga spells late-game. The grid works out okay.

There are smaller systems, like powering up your Aeons or applying custom effects to equipment, but I never used them. Much like FF9, equipment determines additional effects and skills, but unlike FF9, you're kinda at the mercy of whatever skills drop on items, as customizing takes rare items and quite a lot of them to apply. It's also meaningless. I never bought any equipment, and I rarely swapped things around. Armor for immunities or resistances, sure, but weapons? Not once.

*sigh* At this point, I do need to consider something. It's a question that's been eating at me for nearly two weeks now. When assessing the quality of a game as a full experience...should the optional post-game content count against it?

Because if yes, oh my god does this game fall apart. FF10's postgame is, bar nothing, the worst postgame experience I have ever endured. I finished the main game in like 22-24 hours. My save file is currently sitting at 69 hours, and we have way too many more hours to go. We're frankly not even close to done.

See, the postgame goes through multiple phases. First is monster catching. You're introduced to this early, but the short is you eventually go back and catch 10 of every monster in the world. It's super tedious because there's always a rare one, and you need special equipment to do it. Hooray.

Second is getting the Celestial Weapons. These are infuriating, because they required you to engage with some of the worst minigames known to man. Dodge 200 lightning bolts with precision timing! Race a chocobo that barely listens to you without getting hit by obstacles that swerve a full 90 degrees to hit you! Play Blitzball for like six hours, resetting the league at least twice and starting all your progress over! It's painful, but somehow, at least the pain is a sensation.

Step three! From the captured monsters, you can now fight really strong fiends that are frankly too strong for you, hope you found Anima and/or Magus Sisters, because now you have to farm stat boosting spheres to apply to the sphere grid to cap stats! This involves also farming a billion activation spheres, which were never a problem in the main game but are a massive roadblock now, and dealing with exceptionally slow fights like Jumbo Flan, who takes several minutes to beat one (1) time. You will farm it at least 10 times. All of this is to cap everyone's stats and get all skills on the sphere grid, which has the side-effect of removing the sense of unique attributes each character had, in favor of "Everyone is max speed and attack, and just spams Quick Hit until Yuna summons to block an instant kill death attack." It sucks.

But wait! That's just to beat Nemesis, the strongest fight in the old NA version! The Remaster is international, which means my childhood self can fulfill its desire to beat the Dark Aeons and Penance! You know! Once you farm 300 HP spheres because Break HP Limit feels goddamned mandatory on these fights, and also 53 luck spheres from the worst fight known to the series. Because the Dark Aeons involve fights that can dodge every attack if you didn't cap luck. Yeah, turns out no matter how high your accuracy is, if your foe is even just kinda evasive, you'll never hit. You need to cap luck. But that also means farming Fortune Spheres from another awful monster arena boss. See, both Luck and Fortune spheres are dropped by monsters that counterattack every move you make with high animation time spells. They have 1.5 million and 1.1 million HP respectively, which if you hit damage cap each swing, is 16 and 12 attacks respectively. Oh and the former casts Ultima, which is 12 goddamned seconds of animation. That fight lasts 5 minutes on a good run, and like 80% of it is watching its goddamned counter animation. And you do all of this...so your Quick Hits will connect, and you can tank their counterattacks. Provided you made equipment that has Break HP Limit (farm Nemesis, other Dark Aeons, or fight Shinryu 25 times for one (1) character), Ribbon or Stoneproof because they all inflict petrification that instant shatters removing the party member entirely, and Auto-Haste, which requires a shitload of cash to bribe an encounter enemy, which sucks because you also need a ton of cash to even fight these arena fights (the asshole charges you to deal with this) and then over 3 million to remove the worthless sphere grid nodes with Clear Spheres. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention: the sphere grid is cluttered with useless +1, +2, and +3 stat point nodes, and all HP nodes are +200. Remove literally all of them, undoing all your progress and replacing them with the farmed stat boost spheres, or you don't have enough room to get your stats where they need to go in order to participate in the postgame fights. Anyway, you beat all the Dark Aeons with this and then find out Penance doesn't even use status, it just uses big damage so you want Auto-Protect to cut that down and Auto-Regen to recover BUT WAIT! Skills can't be overwritten on equipment in this game, so while you need Break HP Limit and Auto-Haste, you don't need Ribbon, and that earlier equipment is useless, so you have to start that process all over again! Isn't that fun?! Hahaha! HAHAHA! HAAAAAA! AAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Fortunately, I didn't count postgame against 7 or 8, so I won't count it against 10. 10's really good, I liked it a lot. I think 5 and 9 outrank it just on preference for gameplay, but this might be #3. Just do not look at postgame. Ignore it. There is nothing worse. Engage with the really nice story and snappy gameplay and live freely and beautifully. Don't even think about the Celestial Weapons, they're not important. Just keep moving forward. Do get Anima, though. Such a cool summon.