#and it's been literally over a decade and a half since I last tried it so who knows if I even still can?

[threepandas]

Bad End: Snake Bride

There were pudgy little yellow creatures everywhere, here. As common as squirrels, it seemed. They looked like squishy, somber, ditto-faced Pikachus...sorta? I made a note of it. Stopping to make a few sketches. Not that anyone here would ever get the reference, mind you. And they didn't have the iconic tail. More of a nubby little hamster tail?

I'd have to figure out a better description. For the bestiary. Not to mention a suitably cute name, assuming they weren't deadly, after all...

You never knew, with hidden realms like these.

Throughout my training, the other disciples and I had been beaten over the head with countless tales of "it looked cute/pretty/beautiful/holy/or otherwise harmless AND THEN TRIED TO KILL US. Do NOT make our mistakes! I will pull you from the jaws of death! Just to kill you myself!!" by our Shizun. The man could rant for hours.

He still couldn't let go that a glowing, flower patterned, butterfly tried to rip his throat out. And? Since he technically for them "first"? (As far as anyone can find.) He got to name then poor creatures.

Which is why, there exists a very beautiful species of highly deadly butterfly... called the "flying demon rat bastard spawn".

(God, I love Shizun so much. He is so, SO petty. Hilarious, vengeful, the man's the living manifestation of "target sighted". Man has beef with specific TREES for god sake. I wish I had HALF that kind of energy. Even if it DID get us banned from like... so many places.)

I tried to get a good look at the little guys mouth, seeing one yawn. Hmmm... the teeth suggest venom. Better not startle any of them... but NOT I'm gonna need to catch one to milk it. Great. They seem fast...

A knock out array? No. Need them to want to bite me, so I can get a venom sample...

Crouching, I mulled over the problem. Admiring the little creatures as the clambered up and down the strange flora of this realm. It was fascinating. Humbling, in a way. When, I considered that? No one else had DONE this before. I knew it for a fact. Every single reference to this hidden realm? Was from either the immortal who created it... or four hundred years later, the immortal who sacked the placed.

It was hard to get into, hard to find, didn't boast any supposed ten thousand year treasures or legendary beasts. Just? A humble pocket of life. Started and left to cultivate. Shift and change. Grow!

Who CARES what uses the creatures or plants have?! This place should be STUDIED! All these realms should be studied! They're amazing!!

I spot a moss I haven't collected yet and carefully take a sample. Noting it's location on the map I've started (which is a mess, I fear I definitely have no future there). Of course, as is so often the case? Finding one sample leads to another. Moss leads to "oh hey, a mushroom" to "is that bird or a leaf?" And so on and so on. I nearly forget to make camp.

(It was a bird. It just looked like leaves! Fascinating camouflage!)

Only noticing the light shifting qualities, drags me from my hyperfocus. A nasty (or, I guess, productive? For an immortal.) habit. I had lost days to it, before. Disappearing into the library or some work room, back on the peak, for time blurringly long periods of time. Inedia keeping me from hunger. Younger disciples bringing me tea.

There was a reason, after all, I never made Head Disciple. Even though I got along great with Shizun. I was about as responsible as a goldfish. Entirely too focused on my own studies, to be honest. But to be fair? Let's see YOU focus! When there is so much... I don't know, Xianxia bullshit?

(IS it Xianxia bullshit? Or is it Xuanhuan bullshit? Fuck. It's been a life time. I literally can not not remember. Let's see YOU remember the differences! After literal decades!!)

(God, I miss my books. And the internet. And TV. Honestly? I miss everything.)

Fuck! Side tracked! Again!!

Careful not to step on any of the marshmallow-y not-pikachus, I scramble to collect the last of my samples. Reach out with my Qi, to feel how the ebbs and flows around me shift. I should? Be able to sense any nearby predators. As well as posdibly find a nice qi rich spot to set up camp. Maybe meditate.

Just because I'm exploring hidden realms, doesn't mean I should grow lazy, after all! Whole point of cultivation it to ascend. God hood and all that. And, yeah, I'm still sceptical as fuck. But... count me curious. Why not try?

Oooh! That's a nice ca-! Hmmm?

Something... not-brushes against my senses. As though it should be there. I should sense something. An almost taste and nearly smell of... something? Someone? Kinda like the faintest hint of someone's cologne, lingering in the air, as you move through a crowd that isn't touching you. But... warmer. Like it's still on the skin. Not a lingering remnant from someone who passed through?

It's... weird. I can't sense anybody.

Maybe if I try harder? I pump more qi into my technique. More then is technically polite, honestly. But maybe they are farther out then I think they are? I hadn't exactly expected to be sharing space. This Realm isn't exactly BIG. Just a ring of mountains and the valleys between them. One big, lush valley. Many smaller ones.

Again, it's not a popular realm. Not to mention already looted. And not even particularly Qi rich. So meditating here would be a strange choice. But... maybe they want the relative isolation?

I still can't find them. Dispite knowing they are there. (That technique does not give false positives.) So I risk rudeness. Figure I can always apologize. Maybe they are deep in meditation or something? Pumping more qi, frankly appalling amounts, into the technique, I am damn near half blind as I walk. (For all that I can see better then anyone in this valley at the moment.)

The sensory input is cacophonous. Beautiful. Terrible. Like balancing atop a single hair thin thread. Suspended carefully, above a raging sea, made of wonderous light and churning pains. I use my foot steps to anchor me. Balanced and even. Yet... find nothing. Pull back.

Are they... hiding?

Why?

Up ahead it the qi rich cave (more an over hang, cave is generous) that I sensed. A good, defensible place to set up.

It's only as I'm setting up? That I notice the little Marsh-a-chus? (Is that a good name? I really do need to start thinking of a good name for them.) Have followed along. Crowd the trees and settle thick in various bushes. And... part of me? Wants to go "away, I made friends!" But...

The rest of me? Was drilled in horror story and horror story by my Shizun. And that's so mighty fine "unusual interest" behavior going on there. Might even go so far as to classify it as hunting behavior!

Mmmmhm! Don't like THAT! No sir! Time for some nice and cozy warding talismans! Shall we? The STRONG ones.

Under far too many beady little eyes, I slap down security talismans. Full three sixty. Against the ground, the stone, the mountain behind me. I am taking no chances. Just as I was taught.

Which... as I am settling in for the night? Dinner done and dishes drying. Sleeping mat, out and reading to go. Light and warmth talismans, positioned just where I need them? Turns out to be for the best.

Because there is something in the dark. Big. Predatory. And coming towards me.

It's not so large as to show above the trees. But that is small comfort. They are fairly large trees. And honestly? I know only too well, massive size does NOT indicate lethality. Sun turtles are mountainous after all, and THEY photosynthesize! The problem is? There wasn't supposed to be a predator that big in this realm.

Did someone fucking shove a spirit beast or monster in here!?

What? Out of sight out of mind?! No longer their problem, right!? Why kill it, when you can put it in a hidden real to LET IT GROW BIGGER! Destroy an ecosystem! MOTHER FUCK-!!!

The night is silent.

It should NOT be.

Gripping a sword I am only kinda decent at wielding, I pray to the gods, I don't have to use it. I am a spiritual cultivator! Not a martial one! This is BULLSHIT. I don't have anything on me for "unknow predatory mega-fauna" because there WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE ANY! Oh, this is the LAST time I-!

Foot steps. Crushing through the underbrush.

Into the circle of light my talismans cast, fades a pale young master. Graceful and pale in the moonlight. Very... very pale in the moonlight, actually. No better in the light of my talismans. Near ghostly, in his white silks. Touches of pale gold and stark black. Curls of ink wash grey. Like a painting brought to life.

Just a touch too perfect. A touch too beautiful.

With a grace to his movements that... that is too smooth.

It's not until he all but stands in the light that I am certain. His hair. Too lovely and well kept, for it to be an accident or some sort of shaming. Those are NOT bangs. That is the entirety of it. Nothing held back, in a crown or subtle styling. No... no it is SHORT.

No Human Wears Their Hair SHORT Here.

Entering the light? His eyes reflect. Grey like blades. Like storms and death. No pretty silver things. No, it is far too deep a color. Far too dangerous. Slits, that contract with the light. Half hidden by a heavy expression, that I can not begin to interpret. I desperately try to identify the creature before. Feline? No. Lacks the savage edge. Too cool... serpentine. Snake!

"Like a panicked little mouse, honored cultivator. This one might begin to suspect you weren't happy to see me~" they...? He? Says; his voice a low, honeyed rasp. "But how can that be? When this humble servant has been hunting for so long?"

"Surely, my dear little mouse, has been anticipating this day~! Dreaming of the day when her lord would catch her?"

There is something... mean, in that tone. Vicious and victorious. The silent echo of a madman laugh, as he burns the world to ruin. Seizes and achieves all that he desires. Strangles all that he can not possess. Covetous and ugly. Dancing, dancing, dancing around the edges. Demonic, indeed.

Yet... I do not recognize this creature. This demon. He certainly recognizes me, as horrifying as that is. What past does he speak of? Hunting? What HUNTING?! I try to find something familiar, in this strange form. Unless, of course, he is simple insane? Not impossible... but...

"Ah~ my poor little mouse." The demon coos, mocking in his indulgence. His eyes still dance with laughter. Mad and unable to feast. "You don't recognize this poor servant, do you? How cruel! To be forgotten. A passing fancy, barely held, in my mouse's fickle heart."

He's laughing me. Knows I could not possibly recognize him, yet plans to punish me anyway. Somehow. Fuck! This seems genuine. But how? Why!? When would I have-!?

Then, he shifts.

Gone is the beautiful young man. In his place? Rising, rising, RISING? A behemoth of a bandy-wolf king snake. Black, white, with occasional bare traces of that pale gold on the under belly. Hundreds of thousands the times it ever should have been. But... but? There. A scar. Oh gods.

I recognize him now.

A snake got into the village I was born. Absurdly poisonous, unthinkably venomous, it should have been left alone. Gathered very, VERY carefully and taken far away from people. But... people panic. Get stupid. The adults didn't fucking listen. And over sixteen people died that didn't have too. I was sick at the sight of it. They captured the poor creature and were going to burn it alive.

For the crime of being afraid. Hungry. Getting attacked and then protecting itself.

I couldn't bear it. So... I stole it. Hid it in a cave, half way across the valley. Didn't my best to nurse the poor, injured, creature back to health. At least... I tried. The injuries were too severe. I was able to close the wounds. But sickness, blood loss...

Shit. That cave was incredibly qi rich. It's why I chose it! To make up for what I couldn't do! If he had already started cultivation and then... or just resented enough...

It was entirely possible to become a snake demon. Easily, even.

"Sss Sss Sss, ah, recognition~" the massive creature laughed "Why so fearful? Little mouse~ It's not you I want dead. Kindness for kindness, a debt for a debt. And aren't we be grown? Look how strong we've become!"

The booming, breathy cackle did not fit snake lungs. Silibant and painful. Hissing and near silent. It was more pressure in the air then anything. A madness long coming. As demons born of resentment energy tended to be. All burned villages and the screams of those who wronged them. Hatreds and obsessions made manifest.

I... I could barely breathe. Oh gods. Oh gods! What do I do? I.. I can't-!! Tears threatened to choke me. Fear, shaking my limbs and fogging my mind. W-what do I DO?! I'm scared. No. No, no, NO! Please! I'm SCARED!

"Ah~ so cute, so cute! My little mouse grew so lovely~"

Like the world sighing, as fluid and graceful as his steps, the snake became a man again. His grey tinted lips curled in a fang bearing smile. Hands up and braced against the barrier, his full weight leaning forward as he leered. He loomed. My talismans casting odd shadows across his face, giving the madness in his eyes a terrible glow.

"This husband truely did pick his trap well, didn't he? My sweet little mouse~" he purred, eyes unblinking, above a terrible smile. "My little wife has no where to run~! No where to hide! Her husband has trapped her quite cleverly, hasn't he~? Poor, poor, little mouse. Your husband is so mean!"

My heart felt like it was going to burst. Cold. T-trapped. Can't breathe! Oh gods. Is this a panic attack? I.. I think this is a panic attack! Can't think! Static. Legs, refusing to hold me. Sink. Crawling backwards. Away. G-got to get away! Trapped! TRAPPED!

I horror, I watch as he sinks his nails in to the barrier. Hands no longer resting, but digging into it. He-! He shouldn't be able to DO that! Oh gods! PLEASE gods! Tell me he's not strong enough to BREAK barrier talismans of this level! Please! PLEASE!!

"Ah~ acting this way, you make this husband want to bully you, little wife~♡ And ah, such big, fearful eyes~ Am I being mean? Is husband being cruel? Poor thing~"

CRACK.

In horror, I watch as his nail push through the barrier. Like driving stakes through stone. Cracks shooting from the holes, as he digs and digs. Hands closing around the shards he has created, ignoring the blood that spills from where it cuts into him. As the barrier itself whines and crackles in protect. Tryinging desperately to maintain its integrity. Slowly... cracking... failing...

"Let me kiss it better, hmm? No use in trying to run~"

"So be a good girl~♡ my little Mouse. Come to husband~♡"

[outoftheirdifferences]

about me!

rules: bold the ones that are true and tag 15 other people to do it too!

appearance:

i’m over 5’5” // i wear glasses/contacts // i have blonde hair // i prefer loose clothing to tight clothing // i have one or more piercings // i have at least one tattoo // i have blue eyes // i have dyed or highlighted my hair // i have gotten plastic surgery // i have or had braces // i sunburn easily // i have freckles // i paint my nails // i typically wear make-up // i don’t often smile // i am pleased with how i look // i prefer nike to adidas // i wear baseball hats backwards

hobbies + talents:

i play a sport // i can play an instrument // i am artistic // i know more than one language // i have won a trophy in some sort of competition // i can cook or bake without a recipe // i know how to swim // i enjoy writing // i can do origami // i prefer movies to tv shows // i can execute a perfect somersault // i enjoy singing // i could survive in the wild on my own // i have read a new book series this year // i enjoy spending time with friends // i travel during school or work breaks // i can do a handstand

relationships:

i am in a relationship // i have been single for over a year // i have a crush // i have a best friend i have known for ten years // my parents are together // i have dated my best friend // i am adopted // my crush has confessed to me // i have a long distance relationship // i am an only child // i give advice to my friends // i have made an online friend // i met up with someone i have met online

aesthetics:

i have heard the ocean in a conch shell // i have watched the sun rise // i enjoy rainy days // i have slept under the stars // i meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // i enjoy the smell of the beach // i know what snow tastes like // i listen to music to fall asleep // i enjoy thunderstorms // i enjoy cloud watching // i have attended a bonfire // i pay close attention to colours // i find mystery in the ocean // i enjoy hiking on nature paths // autumn is my favourite season

miscellaneous:

i can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // i am the mom friend // i live by a certain quote // i like the smell of sharpies // i am involved in extracurricular activities // i enjoy mexican food // i can drive a stick-shift // i believe in true love // i make up scenarios to fall asleep // i sing in the shower // i wish i lived in a video game // i have a canopy above my bed // i am multiracial // i am a redhead // i own at least three dogs

Tagged by: borrowed from @let-me-be-surprised (like a week ago, it's been sitting in my drafts ever since because no internet xD)

Tagging: Whoever wants to!

[cheolaholic]

ring of love; csc (06)

summary; agreeing to join vernon spectate an underground boxing match wasn't how you'd expect to spend your friday night. you also didn't expect to see seungcheol, someone you've lost contact with for years, become a part of the ring.

modern! au • boxer! au • hhu focused • multiple kinds of tropes • fluff, angst, smut

chapter warnings: brief mentions of crimes (drugs, robbery, abduction), brief mentions of sex and hormones

a/n;; i have risen from the dead, everyone. I know it's been a while since I last updated (4 months 💀) But, please enjoy this chapter and hope that I do not disappear for another few more months until the next update lmao. Also posting this update while I'm on my lunchbreak lmao

You didn’t think that figuring out a place to meetup with Seungcheol would be difficult, but alas, it was. The places Seungcheol had initially suggested were either too far or the price range of their menus could amount to at least a month’s worth of your rent. Maybe it was the years of not seeing him that you had forgotten his parents had their own businesses, which obviously, means money is never an issue for Seungcheol.

After telling him you had to commute to some of the places or either needing to Uber or have Vernon pick you up, Seungcheol found a decently priced cafe near your place with a cosy looking interior design. Having finally settled down on a place to meetup, you now began to stress about an outfit.

You tore through your entire wardrobe before finally panic-calling Aki who agreed to help, on the condition that you tell her everything that will go down at the meetup. You agreed and after hours of outfit try-ons, you settled on a brown oversized sweater, a black pleated skirt, paired together with doc martens loafers.

“Are you sure this looks okay…?” your voice full of uncertainty as you stared at your reflection. Aki, who was on video call on your phone that’s propped up on your dresser, rolls her eyes at your question. “Babes, you’re literally so pretty right now that you could be someone’s gay or bi-awakening. Don’t worry, okay? I'm sure he’s equally nervous of finally seeing you again after what? Almost half a decade?”

“That's a dramatic way to say almost 5 years, but okay.”

“Just be your normal self, ___. Even if he’s changed appearance or physique wise, I'm sure he’s still the same ol’ Seungcheol from more than a decade ago. Well, at least for you, it’s more than a decade.”

“That is true… thanks for helping me out, Aki.”

“Anything for my bestie. Now, go and see your prince charming!”

“Can you and my parents stop calling him my prince charming?” you whined, only for Aki to shoo you through your phone.

“Tell me the deets afterwards! I want all the nitty-gritty - don’t you dare leave anything out!”

Seungcheol got to the cafe an hour earlier than the agreed meeting time. He tried to get some sleep but the adrenaline of being able to see you again kept him up. Sitting at the booth and occasionally glancing at the door, he would try to come up with things to talk about. Of course, he knew he had to explain why he dropped off the face of the earth for years without contacting you. But, he still needed to think of other ways to fix the rift between you both.

“Seungcheol…?”

When he hears his name being called, he lifts up his head and it was as if time had stopped. There you were, shyly standing in front of him as you fiddled with the hem of your skirt. A few seconds after he realised he was staring, Seungcheol snapped back into reality. “Have a seat, __.” Ushering to the seat across him, flashing you that gummy smile that still sent your heart running for miles.

You did as told and after placing both your orders to the waitress who came over, Seungcheol nervously rubbed the back of his neck. “So… I didn’t know you were friends with Vernon…” he began, “Let alone a best friend since, y’know, Aki.”

“Yeah, I didn't really have a choice when he came up to me with that awful tie-dye during orientation. I was so glad when he got rid of it with how much my eyes were hurting.”

“That's Vernon for you,” he chuckles, “When he said he invited a friend, I was expecting maybe a classmate since Mingyu did the same with him.”

As you fidget, Seungcheol takes notice and leans his elbows on the table, reaching out a hand. “Hey, no need to be scared, okay? I know it’s been years and you’re most likely overthinking things right now, but I'm still me.”

“Where did you go…?” you asked in a shaky voice, “You just… ghosted me and later on, I found out you’ve been in Seoul for a while. Why… why didn’t you try to reach out?”

Withdrawing his hand and thrumming his fingers against the surface of the table, Seungcheol was silent for a moment before explaining himself. “That weekend when I headed to Seoul to check out Pledis, they had told my parents I qualified for one of their pre-u programmes. But, the slots in Korea were full, and if I did want to join the programme, I had to join their partnering unis abroad. They had Carat University in Japan and An Ode University in Melbourne.”

You quietly listened to Seungcheol as he continued.

While he wouldn’t mind waiting for an empty slot to be available in Pledis but, his parents had encouraged him to enrol into An Ode as they had an apartment in Melbourne. In the event he didn’t want to stay on his own, they’d be more than willing to pay for his dormitory. “They said the enrolment opportunities for pre-u programmes like these are rare… And, since I was given the opportunity, they encouraged me to take the chance.”

“… And you did…”

“I missed you like crazy, _. But, I couldn't get your calls or texts, not even reply nor call you back because I had to wait two weeks to be able to get a new phone and sim card. When I finally did get them, you had changed your number…”

Your face went red with embarrassment at the memory. A few days after your return from Jeju, your parents had brought you to go shop for a new phone and you’ve decided to change your number in the process. Since Seungcheol had dropped off the face of the earth at the time, you thought it wouldn’t matter anyway if you had changed your number since what were the chances of him calling you?

Turns out you were wrong.

“When I finished the programme, I stayed in Melbourne for a year and a half for their business course before transferring back to Korea to finish it in Pledis.”

“That was… that was at least two and a half years ago. Seungcheol, are you… are you telling me within those two years you never bothered to even look for me?”

“I did! I went back to Daegu to look for you, but your parents had told me you went to Pledis! I tried finding you all over the place, but for some reason you were never in my line of sight!”

“Wait, wait,” holding up your hand in disbelief to stop him from talking, “you went to see my parents? They never told me anything!”

“I begged them not to tell you!” he defended, “I wanted it to be a surprise! I wasn’t expecting our first meeting after years to be you witnessing me boxing!”

“How did you get into it in the first place though?” you asked, the waitress arriving with a tray of drinks and some cakes, “I heard you’ve been underground boxing for a year now.” Taking a sip from his drink, Seungcheol stared out the window, watching random cars and pedestrians pass by.

“I’ve been underground boxing for two years, actually, when I was back in Melbourne.” he answered. “A senior saw me during one of my Taekwondo matches during pre-u and invited me to try boxing. A few months later, he introduced me to this trainer who was looking to coach someone for a boxing match and everything just kinda fell into place.”

As a blanket of silence fell over the table, you muttered out a small “I missed you…”. Seungcheol gives you a smile, reaching out his hands to hold yours as he brings them to his lips, placing a kiss on your knuckles – an action that causes you to blush. “Well, I’m here now. I’ll make it up to you, alright?”

“I expect good food.”

And he replies with a sentence that has the butterflies you thought had died start fluttering again.

“Anything for you, pup.”

“...No…”

“Yes.”

“No… You’re lying…‘

“___, I swear on my life, I am not lying.”

“Ew, Cheol, that’s gross!” You whined, pushing at his shoulder with a disgusted expression, “I don’t need to hear about your sex life – much less a three way you had!”

Seungcheol laughs at your reaction, “Hey, if you think mine’s gross, you sure hear Mingyu’s. Who knew models were so… hormonal.”

“Lalala, I’m not listening!”

After your catch-up lunch at the cafe, you brought Seungcheol to the park near your apartment. The area enroute… was sketchy, to say the least, and that was putting it lightly. If you were to remove the sugarcoating, it looks as though you could get mugged or abducted if you lady luck was having a bad day and decided to take it out on you.

“No offence, pup –”

“Non taken.”

“But, at least three blocks of your housing area looks like they’re being used for drug operations. I know you can fight for yourself – I mean, I taught you how to defend yourself when we grew up together. But, have you ever thought about… y’know, moving to a safer area?” 

You had thought about moving out, but with the current rent prices being equivalent to a monthly mortgage payment, the dingy area is the best you got.

“I mean… It can’t be that bad, right…?”

“___, look at the place… I know you value your independence but, surely there are studios or apartments for rent that are safer and more… well lit, y’know?” Seungcheol notices how you began to pick at your nails, a habit he’s noticed when you both grew up and a sign that you were either anxious, nervous or both.

“Budget restraints?”

“Yeah… This is the best I got, Cheollie… Anywhere close to campus is expensive, and a decent apartment is… well… if I had a mortgage, I could pay that off, y’know…? I have a part-time job – I work as a barista at one of the cafes near campus. It pays decently, kind of higher than the usual amount part-timers get per hour but, let’s say I move out and rent an apartment near campus – I wouldn’t be left with much money after paying for rent and the utility bills…”

“Ever thought of getting roommates?”

“In case you’ve forgotten, Mr Choi, I am not a people’s person. Ask Hansol, it took me a year to actually open up to him, even after he’s been introducing me as his best friend for months.”

“Your parents should have property in Seoul, right? Why don’t you stay there instead?”

“Because I’m an only child, Seungcheol. My parents will pay the bills even if I was willing to fork up my own cash!”

Adding on the fact that you had no transport of your own, the dingy little apartment area really did seem like the best option for you – at least, for Seungcheol he was still… iffy (rightfully so, he wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to you).

“Any public transport nearby?”

“There’s a bus stop that’s a 5 minute walk away from my place.”

“Okay…”

What you forgot to mention however, was the lack of reliable or functioning light source of said bus stop to your apartment’s lobby. But, surely, it wasn’t a detail worth mentioning to Seungcheol, you thought to yourself.

“Y’know, I thought your crush on Seungcheol would actually die down within those 5 years of no-contact.” Aki confessed as you typed on your laptop, phone propped up against one of your pen organisers. “I mean, it kind of did? But, instead of you being over over him, it’s more like… it’s more like your feelings weren't as obvious as back then.”

“Was it that obvious though?” you asked, turning your head to look at her as she shrugged her shoulders, “Not gonna lie, you’re pretty good at hiding it. I only noticed it after spending more time with you and noticing the subtle signs. If anyone was observant enough, they’d notice. But, to those that just look over the surface, not really.”

“...Do you think Cheol noticed…?”

“___, I might offend you and almost all the male species out there with this statement but, boys are dumb.” Aki moves her position from her desk to her bed, lying down on her stomach. “You both have been friends since you were kids so he should be picking up the signs. If he doesn’t then he’s either dumb or playing dumb.”

There was a moment of silence between the two of you before you asked, “Do you think he knows I like him and he’s just playing me?”

“You and I both know Seungcheol isn’t like that,” Aki began, “Your well-being is a priority to him – you’re a priority to him. Maybe he’s never thought about it, y’know? You both grew up together, maybe the lines were blurred to him.”

“But… what if he is, and he’s just really good at hiding it?” you asked again, the anxiety and nervousness eating you up as you thought about Seungcheol taking advantage of your feelings.

“___, darling, you and I both know Seungcheol always puts his loved ones above him – he makes them a priority. And, he’s always put you first, even up to the point he dropped off the face of the earth!”

Aki could still see the uncertainty on your face, which by all means, you had every right to feel that way. After all, Seungcheol had gone no-contact for 5 years and a person can change a lot within those 5 years. Who’s to say he actually is just a bastard who would step on people’s heads just to get what he wants. “Why don’t you start spending more time with him? Like the good ol’ times!” Aki suggested.

“Rekindle the friendship, y’know? Sure, you both had a catch up session today, but you and I both know that isn’t enough. 5 years worth of catching up – and not to mention, I need to kick his ass.”

You let out a small laugh, “You’ll need to fly over to do that, Aki.”

“Hey, don’t tempt me, ___.” Aki playfully warns, narrowing her eyes at you and pointing a finger at the screen, “I have the money to do so, and I will.”

“God, Aki…”

"Hey, Seungcheol isn't the only one that would do anything for you and has the money to do so."

[0212] cheollie: hey, ik it's pretty late rn [0213] cheollie: but, i just wanted to text you this before i forget [0213] cheollie: thanks for agreeing to meet up with me today and hear me out about my whole disappearance and lost all contact [0213] cheollie: and i'm really, really, really glad that you still see me as that boy you grew up with all those years ago [0214] cheollie: and i really had a great time catching up with you today [0214] cheollie: and i'll always be here for you if you ever need me, ok?

Seungcheol stared at the text he's about to send out.

i'm always going to be right by your side no matter what

After silently debating with himself, he deleted the draft and set his phone on his nightstand, laying in his bed as he stared at the ceiling of his dark bedroom - contemplating as he slowly drifted off to sleep.

taglist (unable to tag a few ㅠㅠ)

@yoonclip @1004luvangel @catjunhui @mystikha @spk93 @tinkerbell460 @yoozuku @dnylwooo @christinewithluv @limbomoon @plutoxxxworld @i-give-up-1234 @m1ngyuc0re @yunloyal @leclercloverbot @bettybeako @billboard-singer @ocyeanicc @krupyadoorrahe @seobinnieshi @xcynthiaaa @k411z @disneyprincesshuri @sunnyapp @khxsh @staygenezy @loufi8iepuff @ursweetener @noisypapergalaxy @wonwootakemyheart @sugainpinksweater @leah-rose03 @thisisnotthelastofus @yearnoclock @kwonhoeshi @ohmygodwhyareallusernamestaken @ru-lin @deobiforever @belladaises @cheoliekkuma @duskunt1ldawn @hyneyedfiz @marshmallowshouse @ak6ko @chwevernonlover @jejuboo-s @tsukinluv @atinytinaa @gyros-cum-sock @soupbinlily @jungwoos-luvr @ener-energy @watermelon-sugars-things @cyberpunkhwx @ddaengpotate @nightwingsrobbinhoods @chaerrylov3r @joshuaahong @wonussmile @uliceeeeeeee @wonwoo24 @shinetogether17 @simplejihoon @luvkpopp @minhui896

[sakuraryomen01]

Valentino /Sukuna Ryomen x Fem! Reader/ .12 [Tense, be warned]

warnings: asshole sukuna, college prep. school (aka bitch u at an expensive ass school), former friends to lovers, slow burned love, yuji is sukuna's little brother, OOC Sukuna, a tense morning/ fight with sukuna (there r a lot of swapping povs in the first half i'm so sorry if it's confusing), y/n going on a date-ish with Nickolas, seeing yuji again, make-up attempt by sukuna, falling asleep together on the couch

reader: female reader; 23 years of age, college prep.

plot: It's been years since you've moved from country life, since you've forgotten about all the things you used to love about your hometown and where you grew up from... you didn't think it'd chase you to college in the city after almost a decade..

words: 8.222k

fanfic masterlist: .o1 .o2 .o3 .o4 .o5 .o6 .o7 .o8 .o9 .10 .11 .12 .13 .14 .15 .16 .17 .18 .19 .20

a/n: Hey guys, it's been a while huh? Sorry for the long ass break (literally been a year since I last wrote, I think) but I hope I can make it up to you! I'm currently working on some things in my personal life that I hope will go smoothly, but since it's been so long, I decided to come back!! I hope to finish my Valentino fanfiction sometime soon along with Tiger Twins and Sex Exercise! Thanks for waiting on me, I've just been so busy... @@;

. . .

Thank you for reading this! Enjoy!

↞↞↞ ♡ ↠↠↠

Sukuna couldn’t remember much from the night before. Just some late night drinking, a few annoyed shouts in his dorm. And then blank. But, that didn’t explain what he was doing on someone else’s couch right now.

Your couch, specifically.

Not on it either, on the floor next to it. 

A cooking pot for curry or big stews rested next to his head. Smelling of vomit and the alcohol he had consumed prior to even making his way over to your place. His brow was covered in a cold sweat as he tried to move a few of his fingers, all of them asleep either under his warm cheek or on the carpet next to him.

What the fuck happened?

“Morning.”

Sukuna’s body ached at the meer tone of your voice, struggling just to roll over and see you standing over him. Hands on your hips, pj’s wrinkled and messy, hair done up in the messiest bun he’s ever seen before.

Competing even with a side hoe’s messy handlebar…

“You gonna eat breakfast or what?” You say, voice stern and annoyed. “I’m not going to wait for you all day, y’know? Got classes.”

“....what..?”

“Haa.. Say what again and you’ll end up outside.”

Now, while you seemed royally pissed off, Sukuna was surprised that you hadn’t kicked him out the moment he had… touched you. It was hard to really compute the situation from his spot on the floor, seeing as seeing the melons on your chest filled your top pretty good. Wonderful sight actually, he should probably stay on the floor.

“Up in five minutes.” With a stomp, you and your melons walked back into the kitchen. The smell of sizzling bacon, eggs and toast wafted throughout the dorm room. The warm aroma of waffles cooking in a fryer made Sukuna’s stomach churn.

From hunger or the hangover, he chose not to dwell on which.

Taking a good few minutes to actually sit up, clutching his veiny hand onto the couch’s seat for dear life, the fluffy haired punk took a good deep breath. His lungs filled with the sweet smell of a home cooked meal and instantly he began to drool. Salivating at what your cooking could possibly taste like. 

Probably bad, Sukuna thought to himself, eyes barely able to open.

“The omelet and waffles are ready!” The sounds of clinking silverware and plates followed made Sukuna’s stomach growl even louder. Pain developed from the intensity of the churning in his gut, forcing him to stand to his feet and trudge ever so slowly to the kitchen. 

The shuffling sound of his socks alerting you rather quickly to the ever nearing male that has entered into your dorm. His tall frame nearly towered over you, thankfully it wasn’t like Gojo. Spatula scraping against the skillet as you put four strips of thick bacon on the plates between the eggs, waffles and slabs of sausage patties. Both plates next to two large cups of OJ. Grease and grizzle dribbling down the sides of the meat and mixing with the oil from the skillet and egg.

“Grab one and sit,” You usher Sukuna over to the small coffee table, putting away the cooking supplies and grabbing your own plate. “I’m gonna put on some news.”

“Don’t put that on,” Sukuna retorts, following after you and resting himself on the couch with you. Muttering to himself as you flipped between channels, justifying that you only needed to see the weather for the next few days.

While it wasn’t what it used to be, the meal reminded Sukuna of back home. Days when you, him and Yuji would be waking up the morning after a sleepover at your house. The glaring but gentle glow of the sunlight pouring between the blankets of a poorly built fort by you with the help of your father.

Sukuna remembered the soft feeling of plush animals on his cheeks, the warmth of the rays beating down through the blanket that hung overhead. He remembered the feelings he had when he was young– how his head never felt like it sat right on his shoulders when he sat up, the way his chest ached when he looked down at your sleeping form. Always with your hair a mess and your face littered with wrinkle marks. 

That irritating throb he’d feel just by seeing you so calm and relaxed..

You were always the second one up, no matter which brother woke up first, you were always there to bug the other into an early wake. While your habits were always strange, Sukuna found them endearing. Following in your steps silently as you wandered about the large home you used to roam with your small hands clasped around a stuffed animal. The sight of small, yawning, eye rubbing you was too cute. Making Sukuna laugh to himself at how you contrasted during the day when you were full of energy; always wanting to talk to him about different flowers and the garden while he liked to annoy you with beetles he found.

I tell her to let go of the past and here I am reminiscing on it.

“Sukuna? Are you even listening to me?” You shout with your lips in a tight pout. Hair slowly falling from your frazzled bun, gracing across your shoulders and back. Sukuna’s maroon orbs trailed over your figure as his brows began to furrow. Strange, you did change a lot since your previous encounter.

Did you get a haircut recently? Maybe a new body wash.

“Sorry,” Sukuna replied with a flat tone, rubbing morning crust from his eyes and turning his attention to the television. Once displayed news was now playing some random sitcom, something you often watched back home with your folks. “I was thinking of something– it’s not important though.”

“You always think of something else when I’m talking to you!”

When you didn’t get a reply, you let out a strained sigh and continued scarfing down the remnants of your breakfast. Piling waffle, sausage and egg into a small sandwich-like bite, covered in syrup and butter. Like a starved animal you devoured every morsel that remained on your plate. Only stopping to take a sip from your cup of OJ every few minutes or so; it was a miracle that you hadn’t begun choking yet.

Surprisingly, Sukuna was taking his time to eat. Maybe he was too tired to be how he normally is around food: ravenous. 

After you had finished gorging on your meal, you stole a glance at your watch and stood abruptly face, startling the man on your couch. “What are you doing now?”

“I am gonna be late for my meet-up with Nick,” You start, hurrying to wash off the plate and fork in the kitchen, quickly drying your hands off on a rag. “We have to go over our project ideas again before finalizing one.”

Sukuna’s brow twitches up slightly, his gaze watching you as you rush around the apartment gathering your things. That Nickolas guy, right? Yeah.

Did you have to bring that guy up now?

“I’m busy eating, y’know?” He utters under his breath, currently chewing the length of a sausage link. Pressing his dark brows together in a mixture of a pout and glare. “Don’t try to ruin my appetite. Your food tastes good, for once.”

You let out a strained sigh as you make your way to the bedroom, grabbing your bag and shifting through your previous notes into a binder. Making sure to pack some additional pens, pencils and erasers coupled with some notepads. While normally you always rushed out to study, you were in a rather big hurry today.

To try and escape a talk about the previous night..

Last night flashed through your mind over and over. From the hot and steamy breaths to the harsh, yet gentle caresses across your body. It was hard to pretend, to ignore the events. Acting as if nothing happened between you both. Did he even remember what he did? With how wasted he was, you guessed not. How irritating.

“I don’t get him,” You mutter to yourself, pausing your movements. A million and one thoughts continued to flash through your mind. All that time, all his annoyance with you. Just to turn around and pull a crazy stunt like that. And for what? To lure you back in?

To make you think of only him? What kind of an idiot does he take you for?

After a few moments of pondering, you brushed it aside. No matter what you did now, Sukuna either didn’t want to talk to you, or pushed you away. What point was there in trying to rekindle something that he didn’t want in return? The thing you should’ve come to terms with long ago.

You finished packing your things before slinging your bag over your shoulder, heading into the living room to see Sukuna huddled over the sink. Washing the dirty dishes, scrubbing mindlessly at the sticky syrup on the plates and juice in the cups. It was an odd sight, and somehow sweet.

“Leaving?” He muttered, lifting a plate up to look over it. Voice low and unusually quiet compared to normal, it sent a shiver down your spine.

“Yes.”

The air became tense at the sound of plates clinking together in the dish holder. Running water turned from a constant stream to a pitter patter of droplets as Sukuna turned the sink’s knob, wiping his hands off on a small hand rag next to it.

“..Don't you,” Slipping a hand into his pocket, Sukuna let out a sharp grunt. His free hand coming up to scratch at his nape, disheveling already messy hair. “Don't you want to talk about.. it?”

“Not particularly.”

Shit, this is harder than he thought.

“I figured you'd wanted to, since you're always going on about wanting to talk to me. Not in the mood? Or is this new guy important now?”

The question was returned with a confused brow lift. “More important?” 

Sukuna never felt so frustrated and annoyed, even after such a good meal right in the morning as a hangover cure. He could tell something was just off. You were avoiding him, barely taking glances at him. Just focusing your eyes forward.

He didn’t understand what happened last night to get you to act like this with him, but frankly it’s irritating. Especially with how big this aching throb going on in his chest was. It was an odd feeling he hasn’t had for a while, and he couldn’t tell if it was just his regular annoyance with you or.. Something else.

“He’s not ‘more important’,” You say, shaking your head, squeezing the strap of your bag before turning to the door. “My education is and I’m trying my best.”

“Stop looking away from me!”

Before Sukuna could blink, his hand was wrapped around your wrist. Squeezing just enough for a numb throb to course through your hand. It was like a blur, one moment he was next to the kitchen counter and the next he was near toe to toe with your smaller frame. Eyes wide and brows furrowed, a small vein pumping across his jugular. Your expression only mirrored his, but with a mix of fear and befuddlement.

Don’t make that face with him.. He hates it.

“What’s gotten into you?” A mumble escaped your lips, your pretty little lips. The cute, plump flesh he’s imagined often recently. Along with your eyes, making him dizzy at how they’d roll like your hips; having him start to wonder what your dazed and blissed out look must’ve been–

 “Sukuna!”

Barely a flinch, just a quick blink of the eyes as his face relaxed, mirroring yours near perfectly. Taking in the moment, Sukuna looked down at his hand. The large, calloused palm and fingers grasped onto a smaller and delicate wrist. His own massive compared to yours, decorated with the black bands of his tattoo. So, so different you’ve become.

Without a word, Sukuna stepped closer. Refusing to release your wrist but instead letting his hand glide down to meet with yours. What was he doing? He doesn’t know. He thought he didn’t need you. He doesn’t. 

“Kid–”

“Don’t start with me!”

His marooned orbs lift from your connected hands, his fingers barely gripping onto yours. Why does he do this? It’s frustrating. Feeling his warm hands, how gentle they contrasted to the night before. How he’s behaving now to when you first reunited. The questions wouldn’t come out, the intensity only building brick by painful brick in your mind.

You can’t take this type of torture, this pain.

“I’ve had to deal with you since I first tried talking to you,” You start, feeling a burning sensation in your eyes, a sharp throb in your chest. Face downcast, your reddening eyes barely able to focus on the small connection between the both of you.

His hand reached for yours, holding your fingers like they were delicate porcelain unlike before. When he didn’t so much as let you care for him when he was sick. Reminding you constantly that every little kiss, gentle caress, it was an accident. That nothing he showed was true, pure.

The mere fact he came wobbling to your door the night before black-out drunk was proof enough that this was the same event all over again.

“You’re telling me not to get attached then turn around and kiss me! Tell me that it means nothing but you hold me close as if I’m going to run away from you! I can’t stand it, I can’t stand you.”

You could feel it, your heart tearing in two. The connection you craved was never there. It fizzled away like bubbles in a tub, gone after enjoyment for a little while. Too different to try, too different to change. If only you realized this sooner. It was only until you lifted your gaze to look up at him that you felt your tears dripping. You probably looked like some child having a fit, but it didn’t matter.

You were tired of it.

“All you’ve done is make me feel confused and upset,” It felt like venom saying these things. Poison. A poison meant to destroy your heart. So tense, it felt like it wasn’t beating at all despite its thunderous beat pumping in your ears. “I’m sick of feeling this. Before I knew you were here, it was easier. I was focused on more than my heart and how it felt all the time.”

“Brat.”

“I was able to pay attention in class, it didn’t feel draining being around people–!!”

“Y/n!”

In an attempt to pull you into his embrace, Sukuna grabbed your hand and brought you to his chest. Hooking his large arm around your nape to press your weeping face into his chest, to try and silence your cries. But you fought back, slipping your hand from his, breaking what little hope Sukuna desired to have between you. To think before he didn’t give even an ounce of a fuck when he first arrived.

That there was no care in the world before, but seeing you now. Seeing this hurt he’s caused, the shameful tears. It was enough to make him want to snap– to scream, to punch a hole through the wall –but he instead opted to bring you into his space. You coddle your head into his chest, trying to rub gentle and therapeutic circles with his thumb into your neck even at the awkward angle.

What does he do? What can he do?

He’s never felt so impulsed before, so inclined. It wasn’t in his nature to feel this petrified, this conflicted.

“Y/n, stop sobbing,” Sukuna muttered into your ear, trying to hold you in place as you continued to fight and squirm against his hold. “You don’t look as pretty when you cry like this.”

“I don’t care how I look to you!” You shot back, managing to push him away from your trembling form. Your hair became a mess before him. Looking more and more deranged by the second as you tried to calm yourself, failing all the while. “It’s not your place to look at me.”

A mix of surprise and shame fell across Sukuna’s brow, a clash against his annoyed gaze. You could tell he was unsure of what to do. He never was sure how to comfort someone, even you when you were a kid. His hands clenching and unclenching into fists be his sides, arms tensing with each flex of his muscles. His mind raced a thousand miles an hour at thoughts of what to say before they were fogged up by your hand on his jaw.

Yanking his face being pulled down to become eye level with you, your fingers digging into the meat of his cheek and forcing his lips to pout. Exposing a few of his teeth along with a sweat droplet on the side of his temple. He looked like a lost cub desperate for his momma to come save him.

Pathetic looking.

“I’m tired,” You repeated, your cheeks beginning to dry as the tears stopped. “I’m tired of the back and forth. Of embarrassing myself for you.”

Sukuna could see your mind begin to ease, to feel reassured with itself. The calm eyes despite the redness. It worried him. He had the right to worry, you wanted to let him go.

You released your grasp on his chin, his hand coming to rub at the pinkish imprints on his cheek, his gaze never leaving yours. Stuck in a stiff silence until you began to reorganize yourself, fixing your hair and wiping your eyes, your sniffles the only sound Sukuna could hear. “You don’t have to leave if you’re still feeling sick, but make sure to keep to yourself.”

Not another word was spared as you turned to the door, no glance back to see his expression as you opened the door like you’ve done before. Just a quiet exit of your home, leaving Sukuna and his muffled thoughts behind. While the ache in your chest was still present, there was no longer a weight on your shoulders. Letting you leave freely, to attempt to go back to your day to day.

Traversing down the hallway, looking for your phone in your pocket to call your classmate for a meet-up. To try and at least calm yourself before having to return to a, hopefully, empty dorm.

Sukuna was speechless, still, quiet.

Staring blankly at the door that blocked his sight from you, to chase after you. It was like an alarm in his head going off, feeling regret. Like the sting of bitter before the sweet, Sukuna wanted to run after you. Yet he stood in his spot, like a lost puppy waiting for his owner. Except it felt like it would be longer than a day, it’d be another 12 years before he could see you.

To see how you’d changed, to talk to you, to hold you in his arms.

Why didn’t he do that at first? Why was he so bitter before again?

“Brat..” He muttered to himself as if you’d hear it and come running back to him. How could he expect you to do that when he’s done nothing but blow you off that whole time. “Y/n.”

All those letters he sent, all of them with no responses. It seems so petty. He held onto that fact for so long, as if it was your fault. For trying to make a life for yourself, he held it on you. And now that he’s seen the extent of what he’s done, he’s left quiet in your home.

The muffle of the TV blasting some random show in the background to mix with the throbbing in his ears.

“..Don't.. leave again.”

↞↞↞ ♡ ↠↠↠

The soft hustle and bustle of the library was mind numbing.

It felt as if you were listening to music that wasn’t really playing, it was a hallucination of a melody. A sweet melody, one that you used to listen to but you didn’t know the name. Or if it was a meal you hadn’t eaten but you desired so bad, had no money to even afford to pay for it at a store you loved. Hard to pinpoint what feelings were swirling in your head, but they weren’t any good.

That’s why, when you heard the soft tap of your partner’s shoes and a small “hey” from behind you, your shoulders relaxed instantly.

“Whoa, are you okay?” Nickolas asked, his head tilted just enough to let a few strands of hair fall gracefully from his shoulder. His slight accent is like a sweet, honey contrast to Sukuna’s from that morning. “If you missed me so much you could’ve called.”

“Nick,” You mumble weakly, trying to hide the fact you had indeed missed him even though you met not so long ago. “It’d be rude of me to, especially when you’re busy.”

In the little time you had shared together you learned quite a lot about your new friend.

He was a part-time employee at his grandfather’s mechanic’s shop, though he did most of the work just to help as his real passion was cooking. Nickolas enjoyed making carne asada fries with sour cream and extra jalapeno on his lunch breaks at work whenever he had the chance. Not only did he love the good smells and the tasteful bites that came with cooking, he loved the math behind it, the science. Always thinking that his next meal could be a perfect equation each time, 

Pastries were a little harder for him, but Nick always loved a good challenge.

“I’m not so busy nowadays,” He said, interrupting your train of thought momentarily as he sat next to you. “Abuelo isn’t at the shop most of the time and I’m not allowed to run the place without him. He got sick.”

“Ah, sorry,” You reply, sitting up in your spot and bringing out your notes. “Is he gonna be okay?”

“Yeah, he’ll be fine. He just pushed himself a little too much one day and needs rest.”

You continued to catch up for a few minutes before Nickolas brought up the night before, leaving a bitter taste in your mouth at the mention of it, but you obliged. Telling him that Sukuna was still resting at your place with a hangover and to not worry too much, it was a common occurrence.

“I hope so,” Nickolas flipped a few pages in his notebook as his laptop sat, booting up for the next hour-long discussion about your shared upcoming project. “When I saw him, he looked pretty out of shape.”

“He’s always out of shape.”

Nickolas was surprised by the retort, quickly turning to scan your face. Instantly noting the frustrated look and red eyes once more. “Something happened, didn’t it.. Was it me?”

The quiet shake of your head worried him, but it’s not like he could pry all that much. He turned his attention from you to the books that were sprawled out in a manner of minutes for the project. All the notes, all the studying. It must’ve been draining for you. So, without a second thought, Nickolas lifted his books and began snapping them closed, much to your surprise.

“What are you doing?”

“We are going out, I’m not in the mood to study right now.”

He left you jaw dropped and mind fumbling for words: What?

Nickolas stood from his seat at the table and began doing the same to your notepads and pulling pencils away from your grasp. Placing your things in your bag and gently resting a soft hand on your shoulder to shake you, to bring you back from whatever land you were visiting and back to Earth.

“Let’s go out today,” He said, a smirk playing on his pierced lips. “I’m really hungry. Missed lunch because of my professor.”

“Uhm,” What were you going to say? No? It’s food. “Sure, let’s.. Let’s get something to eat.”

Nickolas finished packing your things rather quickly, leaving you stunned as you followed behind him out of the library. Walking past a few small groups of friends and lone students studying for classes, leaving the calm atmosphere into the bustling noise of the main entrance area. Brushing aside your confusion, you were actually glad deep down. A break from school, a break from Sukuna, a break in general.

It was a desire you never really got to enjoy since you were so busy trying to make the most of your parent’s sacrifices to even get you into the school.

“I will warn you, my tastes are on the extreme end,” Nickolas blurted, letting his bag hang from his shoulder and he lifted his hair. Tying it up into a tight bun while some loose strands rested behind his ears and some draped across his forehead. “Hope it’s not that big of a problem.”

“Not at all.”

The both of you continued to talk about food as you made your way to the parking lot, chattering like birds on a line about different kinds of BBQ shops that were nearby, along with a large buffet that you visited frequently. Right as you reach the lot, you see a familiar figure walking down the sidewalk with a bike at his side. 

Fluffy pink hair, a jersey hanging over his shoulder and noticeable scars under his bright honey eyes. It was Yuji.

Quickly he spotted you, a smile lifting the corners of his lips as he picked up his pace. Letting his hand temporarily leave its spot on one of the handles to wave at you. “Y/n! It’s been so long since I saw you!”

You could tell that he’s been working out recently, his arms and chest looked more toned than before. It made you giggle at the contrast of the brothers. One was a baby-faced sweetheart and the other was a really dickhead. Somehow, they continued to have similar builds and features (no matter how many tattoos Sukuna got).

In moments you were in his arms, his little teases and giggles echoing in your head as you caught up. Leaving Nickolas to get his motorcycle ready to ride, climbing onto the seat and starting up the engine. The roar of it alone sends vibrations into the concrete ground underneath the powerful machine. Its cold, black paint job was decorated with a silver ghost flame design and the rims shining bright to match. 

Yuji took no time to waste as he introduced himself to the rider, giving his same boyishly adorable smile as always. “I’m Itadori Yuji! Are you guys about to go somewhere?”

“Yeah,” Nickolas hummed, leaning forwards on the steering and letting his weight move the heavy machine beneath him slightly. “I’m about to get some BBQ and maybe.. Some boba.”

Yuji smiled even brighter (somehow even beating the sun) before turning his attention back to you. His face turned from real cheerful to a concerned look in seconds, reaching a hand up to trace the line of your jaw. “What’s wrong with your eyes? Tired?”

“Oh, I’m fine,” You mumble, brushing Yuji’s arm away, trying to force a soft smile that’d deter him from prying. But by the look on his face, Yuji wasn’t about to give up.

“I was going to come visit Sukuna for a bit to tell him about my classes, but clearly I need to talk to him about something else.”

“Yuji, really, it’s not that big of a deal.”

Clearly it wasn’t going to work talking Yuji down from a discussion with Sukuna, you eventually gave up. There was no fighting him, not like you really had planned to. You were done with fighting for now, it was draining.

“Other than that,” Yuji said, giving your hair a tussle before giving you a side hug. “I gotta go anyways, I’ll call you tonight once I’m home. They’re letting everyone out on holiday early since our semester tests were so high.”

“That’s good.”

You returned the hug with as much strength as you could muster, earning a back rub and a quick peck on the head. Yuji was gone just as soon as he had arrived, admitting that he was in fact about to run late for another class at the moment anyways and wishing he could join the both of you, before rushing off into the campus. Off to find his misbehaving brother– as he put it– and leaving you alone once again with your Economics partner.

“He’s a go-lucky kinda guy,” Nick’s voice rang from behind you, a smirk on his lips. “I’m assuming that’s your boyfriend or something?”

You pout, folding your arms over your coat. “I couldn’t imagine dating Yuji. He’s much too sweet.”

“I see.”

His hand lifted in offering, nodding to the small seat behind him. “Hop on, it’s gonna get dark before you know it.”

You take a second to glance back at the area Yuji disappeared to, not seeing him anywhere. He must’ve been in quite an actual hurry to disappear so fast. Looking away, you took Nick’s hand. His fingers holding onto yours in a warm squeeze, smooth and strong compared to Sukuna’s thick and rough ones. It was a change that you didn’t think you’d need.

Nick guided you behind him onto the bike, handing you his (much too big) helmet and pushing it down over your hair. He gave it a few pats and lifted the visor. “Make sure that’s on tight, okay? Don’t want a pretty thing like you falling off.”

Your cheeks deepened in color, thankfully it was covered by the helmet’s rim. After checking on your posture and a few things on his bike, Nickolas guided the wheels backwards. Turning ever so slightly to face the exit of the parking area, looking over his shoulder back at you with a smile.

“Might want to hold on, Y/n. Motor’s aren’t exactly a four wheeled tin can.”

There was some hesitation as your arms guided their way around his waist. Your cheeks continued to burn underneath the safety of the helmet, guarding your flustered expression from all eyes. There was a quick tap as Nick closed the visor for you and revved up the engine. Kicking off the bike and turning out to the street, leaving you to your own devices in the passenger seat.

Clinging onto his robust waist in a desperate attempt to keep yourself steady on the moving monster.

The sounds of traffic and the radio started to clash as he drove farther and farther away from campus. The lights dimming in the background as street lights and nearby signs started to fill your sight. In your chest you started to feel lighter, even if you were clinging onto Nickolas to calm yourself and stay steady, the feeling of relief started to wash over you.

You slowly started to lift your head as cars started to pass by you, taking a deep breath and resting your cheek on the driver’s shoulder. The smell of the city made you miss the scent of the Sticks, of your old home and the Willow Tree. Even the old barn that the elders of the village warned not to visit in fear of ‘evil spirits.’

The flashing lights contrasted the millions of stars that would shine so bright in the middle of night. Stars alone in the Sticks felt like a magic show to young you. Your mother had always teased and said that a bunch of fireflies flew too close to try and reach the moon and got stuck in the sky, leaving their lights to help guide others to it in their stead.

“Moths have gotten lost up there too,” She would say, laying next to you in your old backyard. Pointing to different formations that the lights made, giving you tickles and kisses all the while. “They think the moon is like a giant light, they want to be with it so bad they’re willing to fly up towards it no matter the cost.”

Your mind continued to wander, remembering random things you got to do while you were living in that small village. Trees that grew alongside the streets of the road could never quite grow as big as the Willow Tree either.

“There’s magic that keeps it so tall and proud,” Your father’s cool tone always hummed, letting you rest in his lap as he read you another book. “It doesn’t like wilting, even in winter.”

You always loved their stories and tales, and had fun making them with them. 

All the while Sukuna was there too, it was like bliss.

Although he was mostly brooding at his young age, he liked to play pranks on you and Yuji. Always chasing you around and messing with the family cat. Bringing presents for your parents and sitting to listen to the stories in the books they lent to you. 

He was so cute back then..

Compared to now, You thought to yourself, feeling the breeze begin to still as Nick made a turn. Pulling into a somewhat busy parking lot of a buffet restaurant. He’s a different kind.

“Alright, Y/n,” He said, parking in between a truck and some SUV a family must’ve owned before turning back to you. “We’re here.”

↞↞↞ ♡ ↠↠↠

Enchiladas, red beans, rice, and peppers sat on your plate. Warm, covered in cheese and sauce covering the food while Nickolas’s was different. It was carne asada fries, extra peppers and sour cream on the side. Obviously.

“Dig in, my stomach’s growling!” He chuckles, not wasting any time helping himself. Letting you giggle and mess with him about the way he eats, but only returning the jokes as you begin to eat.

It made you forget about the day, about the project, about everything. Letting your head relax and your brain go blank, it’s been so long since you’ve been able to. Getting to know each other more, talking about your favorite topics. You could’ve sworn that that morning was just a bad dream, a small dent in your day. And it was all thanks to Nickolas for trying to cheer you up. You were gonna have to repay him somehow over this, letting him see you in such a state was hard to recover, but it’ll work itself out.

“The food here is better than I thought,” You muffled through a mouthful, chewing quickly as if you were both in the middle of an eating competition. “I’ll have to ask Yuji if he’d like coming here.”

“Mgh, he looks like the type to eat anything as long as it’s good,” Nickolas responded, gulping down some water to combat the spice of the cheese, eating a morsel of bread before continuing his food shoveling.

“You’d be surprised, he’s really picky.”

You and Nickolas continued to talk and eat, standing to grab more food, talking the day away in that little buffet. Splurging and going to get dessert a few times until your stomachs were practically bloating with too much to carry. It was fun, exciting. It felt almost like how home felt.

Comforting.

“Are you sure we can get boba? I think I’ll vomit!”

“I want strawberry milk tea, Nick. Besides, you offered. It’d be really rude of me to pass up on free boba!”

“Who said it’d be free!?” Nick questioned, holding you by the hip and guiding you towards the restrooms. Offering his arm again as you stumbled all full of food and treats on the way so that you wouldn’t fall and make a fool of yourself. “I’m already paying for the buffet.”

“I’m just kidding, Nickolas! And I would rather split.”

Nickolas managed to get you to the women's restroom, holding you against the wall and waving a hand at you. Dismissing your attempts to pay with mock offence. “My abuelo taught me to pay and treat a woman right, I’d be going against everything I believe in!”

Despite how you wished to stay and continue arguing, Nick guided you into the bathroom and left. Promising to wait nearby for you so that you wouldn’t feel alone, but you saw through a crack in the door that he had pulled out his wallet and begun lifting some money from his pocket. You shook your head and waddled into the nearest open stall, locking the door to use the facilities.

Once you had finished, you heard your notification sound from your purse as you were washing your hands. It was from Yuji, and as promised, he had had a talk with his brother.

The reminder gave you a bit of a clenching in the jaw, but you were fine. You felt better, you were better. Maybe you’d approach the situation with fresh eyes.

↞↞↞ ♡ ↠↠↠

Yuji– 10:59am, Saturday: I got him to talk a lil, so be wary. He’s quiet too, what did u say to him?

You– 1:13pm, Saturday: I said some pretty rude things, I’ll apologize to him later.

Yuji– 1:20pm, Saturday: Don’t tell me the both of you have been fighting!! 😡

You– 1:23pm, Saturday: It was just the one fight, I promise. I’ll make it up with him when I’m home.

↞↞↞ ♡ ↠↠↠

You and Nickolas left the buffet, arms linked as you climbed back onto the motorcycle and made your way to a drive-by boba store. The day felt like a big blur from all the excitement. In between boba and the food you visited little gacha shops and comic stores, geeking out about idols and enjoying some other assorted snacks with each other. A drive that cleared your head and made you forget all about the worry and stress of the last few months.

Feeling more like it was a quick stop rather than a day on the town as you both continued down to this small park. It was clearly a park for small children and their parents, but in the evening, it was free range for anyone. 

The swings creaked from the slightest movement, putting you and Nickolas into a fit of giggles. 

“You got cream on your nose,” He says, reaching over and cleaning the messy cream off your face. Bringing his thumb to his lip and licking it clean, leaning back and washing it down with another sip of his drink. Looking up at the sky and gazing at the little stars that were visible, the rest hidden in the glow of the street lamps. “It’s pretty at night, isn’t it?”

“Mm,” You nod, resting your head against the metal chain and turning your gaze up to the sparkling dots in the sky. The memory of your mother flashed through your mind again, making you smile.

“My mom says that stars are fireflies that got stuck trying to reach the moon, or something like that.”

“Oh? My momma said they’re our family watching over us.”

The both of you hum at the sentimental meanings of the stars, reflecting and enjoying the growing cool of the evening breeze. It gave your arms goosebumps across your skin, making you rub them out of instinct. Your movements of course weren’t avoided from Nick’s eager eye. He placed his cup onto the ground and took off his jacket, wrapping it around your shoulders, patting your back absentmindedly.

“You should’ve told me you were cold,” he muttered, returning to his previous seat on the swing. Letting his heels push him back and forth in the rocky spot. “A small hoodie like yours isn’t gonna keep you warm and toasty, Y/n.”

“Haa, I was fine, Dad.”

“Your papa would say the same thing, no fighting about it.”

You let out a sigh, pulling the jacket over your shoulders and covering your body. The jacket was warm and it smelled nice, like an old cologne some rich business man would wear. Chanel? No, it can’t be that, he doesn’t look the type to use it.

As you pondered the scent, sniffing and nuzzling into its confines, Nickolas redid his bun. Tying up tighter than before so as to not let it blow loosely in the wind and blind you on the way home. His golden gaze moving from the stars to you. Watching you closely as you leaned against the swing’s tether, the jacket draping over you perfectly. It brought a smile to his face seeing you so content, so relaxed in his company.

Down right cute.

“We should head home, yeah?” He said after a while of admiring the area and chatting for another hour or so. Just as the sun went down and the moon was beginning to shine in the sky, you were guided yet again to the bike at the curb after you tossed the empty boba away. Helped up onto the back seat and joined seconds later by your partner.

You reach up, patting a gentle hand on his shoulder and resting your head on it. “Thanks for taking me out, Nickolas. It really helped me.”

There was a silence as the engine came to life once more, probably the last time of the night, before Nick turned to look back at you. His near glowing golden eyes shining with glee, “Not a problem, I’m happy to help any time.”

One final push away from the park and you were back off to campus for the night, and strangely you weren’t all that nervous to see Sukuna again. He had probably left the dormitory already, leaving things clean as they were before and back in his own. Trying to catch up and maybe take space he wanted after the fiery morning the both of you shared.

If he was there, by some wild chance, you’d try and talk to him. For Yuji, of course.

After a twenty or so minute drive, Nickolas parked his bike in the same place it was before. Hoping off the bike and turning to help you off. Letting his teases get the best of him and poking fun at your messy helmet hair, patting it down and rubbing his fingers gently through the strands before linking arms with you again.

Walking the sidewalk to the girl’s dorms, Nick had to hold you up as you had begun feeling tired. That, and you just weren’t used to the amount of attention he was giving you. Making your brain go into a foggy overload and wanting a good night’s rest to process it all.

Nick was forced to take you inside, getting odd whispers from your neighbors as he sheepishly tried to explain the situation only to be teased about it. The scene looked embarrassing enough, but you were indeed just sleepy, and Nickolas was going to go home right after.

“Alright, Y/n,” He says, taking his coat from around your shoulders. “I gotta go now, so go ahead and get some sleep. Try and relax your stomach tomorrow too, it’s stuffed from all the food we had.”

“It’s only ‘cuz you’re a glutton,” You teased, standing up on your own (with the help of the wall) and fitting your key in the slot of the door lock. Looking back at him, you flashed Nickolas a toothy grin. “We should do stuff like that more often, I think you’ve made me a glutton too!”

Nickolas chuckled at this, a pink tint on his cheek as he scratched at his nape. “Oh no, I guess I have to take responsibility for you now? What a shame.”

You both parted ways, giving good nights and best wishes as you entered your dorm and he turned to the hallway. Getting teased by your nosy neighbors along the way as he got to the exit, leaving you alone in your dorm with…

Sukuna?

You had turned once inside to see a big lump of blankets and pillows, that had belonged in your room originally, on the couch. Covering a snoring, messy pink haired mass, a stuffed animal barely poking out from under a large, banded tricep. The cute bunny face and ears distorted into a strange shape under the weight of Sukuna’s arm.

“You’re still here?” You asked his sleeping form, stepping over to the couch and taking a seat next to his stomach. Gazing down at him, reaching to brush your fingers across his scalp, tickling near his nape so much that he stirred in his sleep. “I thought you’d be gone by now.”

“..I only leave when I feel like it.”

You flinch, seeing Sukuna’s dark eyes begin to open. Peering up at you from underneath his arm, tired and cold. “You were out for a long time.”

“I was with Nickolas,” You start, returning the calm stare, furrowing your brows together before looking around the living area. Taking in the mass amount of things he has strewn about: more plushies that you kept near your bed, some little doodles on paper you saved for later projects, and some blankets mixed with pillows. “I thought I said to keep my place clean.”

“It’s clean, you’re imagining shit.”

The fight from that morning returned to your mind at the snippy comment, making you clench your jaw and rub the bridge of your nose, exhaling to let out the bite back. “Still, what are you doing here? Don’t you feel better?”

“...No.”

Well that was odd.

“Do you need ibuprofen? I have some Advil, I think.”

Sukuna’s head shook, messing his hair up even more. He was looking like a giant cat that just got denied good food or a cuddle with its owner. It was kind of a sweet sight to be witnessing. You let out a strained sigh and lean back against his stomach, hearing his grunt in compliance from underneath your weight.

“Was Yuji tough on you?”

“That lil’ shit should be lucky I even gave him an ear to listen to his moaning.”

“I take it you weren’t too happy then.”

A small silence followed as you both rested on the couch. Somehow, this moment reminded you of when he needed help home. How he was dazed, barely noticing what you were doing for him until he needed a shower. The way he lifted you into his bed for the night after the both of you bickered over where you’d be staying for the night. (While you would never admit it, you did like that night’s rest.)

Sukuna noticed your smile, the way it was so perfectly crooked.

“Why did you steal all my stuffed animals?” You asked, returning your gaze down to his level.

His eyes narrowed momentarily as he decided how to answer the question. Eventually he lifted his arm and pulled the stuffed bunny from his grasp, holding it out and staring at it. Sukuna didn’t utter a word as he messed with the plush stomach of the toy, letting out a soft murmur.

“I missed.. Your smell.”

You were caught off guard, brows rising at his response. Since when did he say things like that?

As you were left to ponder on what to do with the mess, Sukuna dropped the bunny and sat up, lifting the blankets that covered him and pulling you once again into his hold. You let out a small yelp and tried to fight back, but were too tired to really push him off or yell. So, as you were wrapped up in Sukuna’s leg, arm and the comforter, you took a deep breath.

Under the weight of Sukuna’s hold, your body started to register that sleep was imminent and slowly forced you into a dazed state.

“Y/n,” Sukuna muttered as you turned into him, pressing your face into his chest, letting your hands fall between your thighs to keep warmth. You murmured out a grunt while you got comfortable. 

While your eyes had closed, your snores starting to grow, Sukuna was left awake by himself. His arms coming to wrap around you as he had the doll, nuzzling his nose into the scalp of your hair and taking a deep breath, inhaling your scent, the scent he wanted close the whole day that he thought he could sub with a plush toy.

Shameful, needy– these are things he didn’t want to be.

He breath came out in a huff, brushing against the shell of your ear. “I want to work on my math tomorrow.”

“Sure.. jus’ wake up at a decent time.”

As sleep overtook you, you could barely register what was said. The warm embrace of the man you had hated from that morning being the one thing that made you feel most at ease in your sleep. It was strong, firm; made you feel as if you were on cloud nine. 

In mere moments you were asleep, cuddling into the same arms you wanted to be away from that morning. Deep down, you were still irritated with Sukuna. You didn’t want to hear out whatever excuse he wanted to spill, if one at all. But right now, you just wanted rest.

That day was probably the most calming day leading up to the Willow Tree trip.

↞↞↞ ♡ ↠↠↠

a/n: holy shit was this a lonnnnggg time waiting and a longggg time writing!! i'm glad i'm finally getting back into the swing of things with my writing, I really hope you enjoyed reading all 8k of this chapter (longest chapter i've ever written to date!!) Seeing as it's been a while, I think my style has changed a lil so sorry it's a lil odd. anyways, thank you for the long asf wait but i hope you really liked this one! pls feel free to put suggestions in the comments and submissions! i also updated the taglist as best i could!

Chapter Song Theme: – Figure You Out -- VOILA (Lyric Video)

taglist: @mageyboo , @mzladyd , @mysticwonderlands , @sukunastoy , @sukunaspersonalfleshlight , @kawaiipenguin20 , @k-indie , @okkotsufav , @cafeinthemoon93 , @pulchritxde-blog , @bontensbunny , @deepinballs , @kleeboomed , @fiierytearzx , @wo-ming-bai , @instantgalaxysheep , @watyousayin , @z3r0art , @sukunaobsessed , @lik0 , @domainofmarie , @the-moongoddess , @dark-n-dirty-duchess , @agentdedf1sh , @sukunastoy , @lyn-soso , @bao-yu-sarah-morningstar-wang-9 , @heyitstacy , @lost-in-tokyo , @marksassybanana , @bozos-r-us , @p-3-4-ch , @misslauravillanueva , @chaoticqueen33 , @dxxny -loves-u , @l0tus-in-l0ve , @jiordeci , @opossum0-0 , @gumisgirl , @mommasbigd , @fallenlostarchives , @infinitivesearch, @t4ters, @n4muqr, @huuuhwhaat, @jiordeci, @chaeryred, @purplebee21, @hisheadismountfuji, @voyager1fan, @ichibaba, @brandydel, @berrylovesstuff, @whispersofbeskar, @dontcare1331

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[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Gay wrongs tournament, major bracket quarterfinals

*Daisuke Jigen x Lupin III and Mystique x Irene Adler are now an alliance since they tied in the last round. Old Gays as in they've been around for decades at this point, gay and doing crime.

Propaganda:

For Arsene Lupin III and Jigen Daisuke :

The start of be gay do crime! Jigen literally buys Lupin flowers while Lupin calls him "Jigen-chan" but they also shoot and kill and steal!!!

Lupin and Jigen have been Partners in Crime (and more) for over 50 years of media history. From the very beginning, when Jigen thinks Lupin has died in Part 1 episode 13 he openly weeps, tears streaming down his face and everything. Earlier that same episode Lupin tells Jigen he looked sexy in the maid costume he wore for the heist. In Part 5, they pretend to be two old men living together in an apartment above a cafe. They bicker like an old married couple. People are tying to track Lupin in the first half of the season and this: ‘As Lupin’s Lover where ever he is Lupin must be too’ is said about Jigen. In Part 6, Lupin keeps giving Jigen flowers. (He’s buying the flowers to keep an eye on someone and doesn’t want to look suspicious but he gives them to Jigen, after telling the store owner their for his wife) he calls Jigen either a ‘Fuzzy Angel’ (sub) or Hairy Hunk (dub). Jigen also tries to break Lupin from mindcontrol by bringing up their partnership. Like Sub line is ‘I’ve always been your partner man’ and the Dub line is ‘is that any way to treat your partner?’. The biggest thing though is in Lupin Zero, where Lupin declares he’s going to make his first official heist as Lupin III. He walks up to Jigen, places his hand on his chest, closes his hand and draws it back to himself then asks Jigen ‘So Jigen…was I able to steal it?’ To which Jigen replies ‘I’d say so’ while pulling his hat down over his face. Lupin’s ‘first real heist’ was STEALING JIGEN’S HEART! Also in Lupin III vs Cats eye Lupin pats Jigen on the ass (sound effect and everything) and Jigen doesn’t even react. There’s way more stuff from various movies and specials, this is just some of what jumps to mind right now. They may not be CANON but they’re pretty close :)

They are in fact husbands and they do be murderin’ (since 1960)

For Irene Adler and Mystique:

They have a daughter they train to be evil. They've been gay for so long they're one of comics first be gay and do crime couples ever. They're wives.

They are married and in love and have been for decades! Mystique is totally down to kill anyone in her way and so is Destiny. Destiny died years and years ago and for all that time up until recently one of Mystique’s most common motivations was trying to find a way to bring her back to life, which succeeded a few years ago

For the Leverage trio:

No murder (except occasionally by Elliot) but the theifsom as they are sometimes called rob from every kind of evil rich asshole they can find. Three of the best criminals in the world. Be poly do crimes. 

A canonical (Word of God) triad who run cons with the ultimate goal of helping people. Hardison is a hacker, Eliot is a hitter, and Parker is a thief

[zurajanaizurakoda]

Which EP that make your into ginzura ?!

I know who you are, and you know you don't want to hear this. There wasn't any episode, I first watched the series almost ten years ago and distanced myself from it because it was making me physically sick worrying about characters. I remember looking for Ginzura and not finding anything but not being particularly attached to it. Like I didn't really see g*nhiji so I figured Ginzura had at least as much reason?

I thought the most interesting relationship was between Gin and Kagura (NOT sexually or romantically, I was just fascinated by them.

When I saw that the series was all on Crunchyroll (as far as I knew except the love potion arc which I wasn't a fan of in the manga so I decided to watch the series and see how it ended. Got obsessed again. It seems like I latched on to Katsura more that time, although I remember liking him the first time through. Finally I decided to find the second movie, which I remembered liking. I was enjoying it, and then it got to the scene on the balcony where Katsura talks about the last time he saw Gin, and I was fucking run over by a 50-ton freight train of feelings. I've never had a ship hit that fast. When he started choking up it was suddenly clear that the outfit wasn't a popularity joke, Katsura was literally shattered by losing Gin. He'd lost his entire family and his Sensei and his cause and everything he'd ever cared about and he'd persisted, but losing Gin broke him. And it struck me just how miserable he was in the movie, and how no one seemed to care. Kagura flatly states that he went insane because Gin disappeared, and they go back to talking about everything else like that wasn't important. Gin makes a half joke about murdering him and goes back to worrying about Gengai. This is runaway Kotarou, his literal claim to fame is running away. He escapes all the time, even from the inescapable prison, even when he was a screwdriver. And he just sat there and let the execution happen because he was so broken down. And of course, Kagura says he talked about destroying the world, but all he talks about, both with Kondo and Gin, is how much he wants to help the world. He hates the world but he just wants to help, so badly. And he was breaking down and Gin saw the Blight guy and left Katsura and probably forgot him as soon as he was out of sight. Then during the final battle, Katsura makes the long, impassioned speech about how every single one of them is there to support Gin. If Gin hears the speech, he literally does not react at all. I wondered if this was the Katsura who had mourned Gin for ten years. Everyone else forgot Gin, but for Katsura he lost his best friend and suffered for it for a decade. Here he is finally able to do something for the person he cares about more than everything. And again, how happy would he be if Gin just took a second to acknowledge him?

And it's been the same ever since. His introduction is based on how much he values Gin, how he was willing to dirty his hands to get him back. But he accepts Gin's decision, even if he doesn't like it, and he tries to influence Gin but he never endangers him again. His next major appearance, he says the Harusame is too big for his entire organization, but when Gin says he's going, Katsura goes with him without hesitation "I'm your left hand" isn't just an idle term, he makes an enemy he's already stated he doesn't think he can defeat if it will help Gin. In Benizakura he tells Takasugi he rearranged his core beliefs based on how strong he sees Gin as. I could keep going. The constant standbys. Wanting to be in the Cartesian Arc., In the soul-switch arc he literally is willing to fight for Hijikata because Hijikata in Gin's body took him seriously and offered him a job. When he saved Gin from Nobunobu (Which again, Gin literally never acknowledges, Katsura spends most of his time talking about Gin and Gin spends the whole time playing support for Hijikata. Katsura gets his rawest line in the series, about how when you're near death you just want to be with people you care about. This reframes his asking Gin to commit seppuku with him. When he lost all hope, his one wish was to be near Gintoki when he died. Meanwhile, in the Farewell Shinsengumi arc, he doesn't get to see Gin. It doesn't even appear that Gin bothered to talk to him about Utsuro until Matako and Nobume bring it up. Gin literally fucking renamed him and it changed how his friends treated him for the rest of his life. When he stayed in the ship in The Very Final. I don't see much Ginzura in the series, but if Katsura isn't in love with Gintoki it's still obvious that a good chunk of his sanity revolves around his relationship with Gin. I truly believe there's more support for his romantic feelings for Gin than his romantic feelings for Ikumatsu, and I truly believe he cares about her and I can even see them ending up together but you cannot possibly convince me that their main bond is based around his understanding how hard it is to lose the one you love to the cause. And every time I see Katsura I want to throw a supportive Gin at him, even for a minute, even for a single panel, and it never happens. So I write.

Obviously this is all my opinion. If you really want to discuss it that's fine, but if you just want to tell me how wrong I am I'm aware my opinions are very different from most of the fandom. When I say you can't convince me it's because I'm stubborn as fuck and I suffer from cognitive rigidity, not because I think I'm the smartest person on the internet. Just assume you're right

[charklenee]

Im bored here is chase x y/n [house md] part 1

I have clinic duty today and I've never felt more exhausted. Working five to nine is already hard, but in addition to the headache I got from my hangover, it's a new kind of hell. I knew I shouldn't drink an excessive amount of liquor during a week day but what more can I say? I was in a state of absolute vulnerability and had a rough time processing an end to my two-year relationship, with my now ex-boyfriend. My head ached tremendously and I could feel a beating pulse on the back of it. I closed my eyes and relaxed my shoulders and sat calmly on the chair in House's office.

He walked in his sneakers with his cane towards the coffee pot and poured a glass for himself.

Currently, I'm still closing my eyes and ready to pass out any moment. I had enormous eyebags in dark shades of brown and black. Slightly smudged mascara and eyeliner was still visible because I haven't washed my face since last night. My hair was scuffed in a bad way, but I managed to clip it so it wouldn't be unbearable. I looked like a mess, I sound like a mess, my hair looks like a mess, and I have clinic duty today. This day couldn't not get any worse, right?

"Patient is in a severe state of comatose," House said while sipping his coffee.

"And?" Cameron replied.

"What is the word "severe" implying?" Chase said with furrowed eyebrows.

"It means she is half-dead and in a state of comatose "

"Great.." I say. "Just put her on the IV and wait for her to emerge from her beauty sleep three decades later, easy-peasy."

House turned his head from the whiteboard and looked at me straight in the eye, "oh yeah, I thought of the same thing, well obviously - are you hungover, Dr.?" House said it in the most sarcastic tone he could possibly say and I was about to tip over the edge of my seat listening to his rambling.

"Yeah. I am, House. I'm going to literally faint any minute now -have you done a tox-screen on the patient, might've been drug related."

"Patient's tox screen was clear, no sign of anything related to drugs." House said.

"Organ failure? Kidney? Or maybe cardiac arrest?" asked Foreman urgently.

"So you meant to say that half-dead meant bruised and butchered?" Chase replied to House.

"She's full of scars head to toe and has nasty fleshy wounds, my guess is high blood sugar is an underlying cause of all of this." House said.

"Hyperglycemia as an underlying problem?" I said with my eyes closed and palms covering my face.

"Yes, three points to the alchoholic." House pointed.

Chase was looking at me all concerned but I honestly don't need that kind of attention. I need something like a rebound, alchohol could get me far, but not far enough to forget. Memories of him linger, linger so dearly, hauntingly.

Chase said coldly, "Wake up, House told you to draw blood." He tapped my back whilst I was covering my face.

"Yeah..I'll do it." I said, in a breaking voice.

"Damn, what did this guy do to make you look like this." He left to check up on the patient.

He stopped and looked at me before he went out of House's office.

After a few minutes, I got the sample and I did some tests. I was looking through the microscope at the office and examining the patient's blood culture. There he was, he walked in. He slided the door and tried to not make it obvious he was there for me, but I could tell the opposite from his glare piercing through the back of my mind.

"Yeah, I'm here for you. Are you okay? I brought some juice for your hangover. I know we don't get along and I hardly know you but please just take the juice."

I stood up and stray away from the microscope. I folded my arms, "it's nice to think that somebody is here for me during times like these, but I don't quite enjoy being somebody else's guilt. I don't want your pity, Dr. Chase. But I will accept this juice, thanks."

He handed me the juice and glanced down, this somehow made me guilty for treating him like I did. I keep blaming my shitty behavior because of a break-up. I guess it's somehow true that it did lead up to this behavior but it is also my fault I don't take care of myself.

"Chase. I'm sorry I was acting all bitchy, I-"

"Yeah, I get it. I did pity you, from personal experience I felt a need to help, I guess."

"Oh, yeah. Thanks for the juice."

"Hey.." Chase said softly.

"Yeah?"

"Do you need a rebound, I could help you. It could ease the pain. No alchohol, no meds, just you and me. We could talk your feelings out. I don't want to smell your vodka scent anymore."

"Sure, whatever you say." I initially was thinking it would lead up to this but when I heard the words I just gave up and followed to his sayings because I think something like this could bring me some sort of rejoicement.

"I have clinic duty. I'll be at your place at seven."

"Deal."

[undercover-stories]

Modern sasunaru fic

“You’re going to overwater it”

“Shut up, I know what I’m doing”

“That’s way too much water”

“It’s my tomato plant. Go away!”

“Naruto’s going to be really sad when he finds out you killed his present”

“I’ve had it for five years. Go away!”

Sasuke literally hiss’s the last two words at his brother, gingerly holding his watering can over the potted plant but just as he’s about to tip it, he stills.

The can is dropped onto the the balcony tile with a furious thump and Sasuke turns around to grab the leaflet Naruto had given him to re-check the instructions. Finding his measurements correct as if he hadn’t memorized every word the second he got home all those years ago after they’d spent the whole day celebrating his 13th birthday with his best friend. Sasuke raises his head and grits his teeth at the barest glint of a smirk on Itachi’s face.

“Made you look”

If Sasuke was angry before, he was absolutely burning with fury now. Putting all his effort into not crumpling the leaflet in his hand (It’s been half a decade since Naruto gave it to him and it’s still in pristine condition and it’s going to stay that way) he points at the sliding door into their apartment.

“Go away!!!”

Itachi gets up and leaves with a shadow of a mischievous smirk still winding his lips and shimmering in his eye. It would’ve been better if the older Uchiha had left cackling. That way Sasuke would actually have a reason to attack him.

With the pest gone, Sasuke returned to his beloved plant to continue his care. Snipping off dried leaves and shuffling the soil a bit so the water would pass through it better and not get stuck on the surface. He smiled at the small buds that were soon going to grow into plump juicy tomatoes. Even after so many years his pride and joy was still going strong.

After a while he does finally admit to himself that there wasn’t much else to do and he’d been staring into space for about 5 minutes trying not to think about the person who’d given him the plant in the first place. Trying not to think about his friend’s attempt at a comforting grin five days ago right before he boarded a train to Sunagakure as if his time spent there, for the next few days scouting universities that offered humanity courses, wasn’t going to decide on whether their friendship would be a long distance one.

But most of all he desperately tried to distract himself from the image that was currently trying to push its way into the forefront of his mind. The image of the smile sliding of Naruto’s lips. The way the blonde had looked at him with wandering eyes that were somehow more comforting than a smile would ever be. Sea blue irises that flashed an even paler blue from how it was reflecting the midday sun above them.

How an apprehensive look clouded over his face before it instantly disappeared and Naruto leaned forward.

And kissed him.

The shock of it had been broken a few seconds later when the train conductor made a final call for passengers and before Sasuke could react, Naruto had rushed onto the train and damn efficient speedy trains because by the time Naruto had found his seat, his form had become a blur as the train sped away.

Today was the day Naruto was supposed to come back. If his train arrives on time he’d be arriving at their apartment in a few minutes to pick up Kurama.

5 days and Sasuke was still unsure what to do.

Well, that’s not true. He knew exactly what he wanted to do. The only thing that stalled his steps was worry. Fear. Trepidation.

Could he really be enough? Was he really allowed? To reach out and grasp this chance to have everything he dreamed off? Was he worthy of it?

But all of it would be pushed down and drowned by one thought. If Naruto could be brave enough to take this chance, couldn’t he at least do the same.

Suddenly the familiar ding of their doorbell echoed throughout the apartment.

It was time.

[hollygl125]

On Sara’s feelings in “Immortality”

“In her better moments, Sara still believed Grissom had loved her once.  She still believed it had been worth the risk, to be with somebody who really got her and who, for a time, loved her for who she was.”

*Don’t worry; it’s just me getting emotional about “Immortality” again.*

Somewhere on this website there’s a post about how your ideal ship is your type + someone you can project onto.  (Unsurprisingly, I couldn’t find the post, so my wording may be off.)  I would not historically have thought of Gil Grissom as my type, but smart, handsome, funny, caring, and confident (in some settings) while vulnerable (in others) probably fits the bill.

Do I project onto Sara Sidle, though?  That is an absolute yes.  I (thankfully!) did not have her tragic childhood, but otherwise I generally identify with the tall, smart, awkward, (unfortunately often) short-tempered brunette.  I generally feel like I am viewing the GSR love story through her eyes.

That said, I always try to imagine Grissom’s perspective as well, and there are definitely moments where I strongly identify with him—especially when he is floundering in inaction because he doesn’t know how to proceed (ask out the one he loves, tell her about his sabbatical, etc.).

I have a lot of feelings about the moment when our two lovely science nerds see each other again for the first time in “Immortality.”  Historically I have thought a lot about what Grissom must be feeling in this moment.  He’s come back to the lab for the first time since the divorce.  He’s tried to “White Fang” his wife/love of his life, and, as such, he’s not kept in close contact.  He doesn’t really know what’s going on in her life anymore.  He doesn’t know if she’s moved on.  He doesn’t know how she feels about him now.  He doesn’t even know if she’ll feel like the same person, or if instead he’s succeeded in breaking their bond.

(Please excuse me now while I go sob.)

A few months ago, though, I started getting especially emotional about Sara’s feelings here.

In undergrad, I did an overseas exchange.  One of the guys there decided we were best friends, and for about a year and a half we kept that up, even after I returned home.  But he started dating one of his other friends, she (unsurprisingly, in the full circumstances) didn’t like me, and… yadda, yadda, yadda… he ghosted me (long-distance).  I was truly heartbroken; I’d really loved this silly kid.  (Think Greg & Sara, though, not Grissom/Sara.)

Roughly two decades have passed since then.  It took a while, but I got over it.  In my waking hours, I am genuinely at peace with it all.  But then, every once in a blue moon (almost literally, since we had a blue moon last week and this happened again a couple nights ago), I have a dream where I meet up with this guy in person, and I’m always super, super excited in the dream finally to have this opportunity for closure.  Then I wake up, realize that it was (yet again!) just a dream, and am super, super bummed.

Back to the science nerds:

I can’t imagine Grissom comes back to divorce Sara in person.  I don’t think he could go through with the divorce in person.  So, like me, she kind of gets ghosted long-distance.  They never really hash things out, and she never really gets proper closure.

To quote myself, “In her better moments, Sara still believed Grissom had loved her once.  She still believed it had been worth the risk, to be with somebody who really got her and who, for a time, loved her for who she was.”  But, to quote myself again, “She wondered whether he’d tired of her.  She wondered whether she had simply helped him transition from the lab to the next stage of his life.  She wondered whether she’d merely been his midlife crisis….  Sara knew she’d never love any man but Grissom, but sometimes, in her worst moments, she wondered whether he’d ever really loved her at all.”

I think that, even two and a half years later, she still doesn’t really understand what went wrong between them.  (In all the circumstances, she couldn’t, really.)  I imagine she has dreams where she sees him again and they finally get to hash things out.  I imagine she has dreams where she sees him again and finally gets closure.  I imagine, most significantly, she has dreams where either they reconcile or they never broke up.  Then she wakes up and reality hits her like a gut punch.

I imagine that, in the years between their divorce and their reconciliation, Sara isn’t sure whether she will ever even see again this man she’s loved so desperately for fifteen-plus years.  But I imagine her (day)dreaming about what it would be like to get to see him again—to talk to him in person again—and somehow to shake some answers—some understanding—out of him.

Then suddenly he’s coming back to Vegas—for Heather (she thinks)—and the for Heather part is definitely a slap in the face.  But in other ways it’s like a dream come true.  Even if he’s coming for Heather, at least maybe now she’ll get some better explanation.  At least maybe now she’ll get some better understanding.  At least maybe now she’ll get some closure.

And then… “I’m back.”  But also… “Guess your cell service is better than it used to be.”  And also… “Wow, 30 minutes in the car, no words.”

But on the other hand… “I miss working side by side with you.”  And… “There’s a great mammal in the ocean known as the 52-hertz whale.  All year, he practices his love song for the female.  Travels thousands of miles to find her….  They call him the lonely whale.  And year after year, for a hundred years, he works on a new love song and never, ever gets a call back.”

And it’s all so confusing, and he’s still completely inscrutable.  Half the time he has nothing to say, but then he’s going and claiming it’s because seeing her again left him a little speechless.  What on earth is she supposed to do with all that?  He still has nothing to say to her: “Sara didn’t know what she’d expected him to say to her, in the end; it was clear he still had nothing.  Eventually she’d had to be the one to say goodbye.”

After all this, I imagine she is as confused as ever.  After something like 36 hours of non-stop anxiety, she somehow has even less closure than she had before; her gaping wound has been torn even farther open.  How is this her life???  But then….

There’s a videotape.

The point is, when I think of all of Sara’s thoughts and feelings and anxieties and sadness during this time… it’s a lot.

And I’m so very grateful that, in the end, she finally gets to sail off into the sunset with the man she loves. She deserves it.

[dragonbstoned]

Okay, so I know that this is INCREDIBLY long, but *please* read to the end. Everything is such a wreck that I have no options but to essentially beg for help.

This isn't just long but also kind of complicated to explain, but I'm not going to simply accept possible assistance from complete without giving the full scope of the situation. Honestly, it's next to impossible to understand how it ended up here without the full story anyway.

Literally everything this year has gotten progressively worse the longer it's dragged on and I'm so desperate that I don't know what the fuck to do anymore... I'm fucking broken and out of ideas. I hate asking for help, but I'm literally out of options, and reaching out on other platforms/to the community I've grown up in has been completely useless...

Currently, I'm struggling to just be able to *survive* and at risk of being homeless, which is made even worse by my partner and our cat (who is on a prescription diet and we'd already cut back significantly to make sure he was properly taken care of leading up to this) are in the same boat... I'm disabled and *can't* work while also waiting on my appeal for rejection to be examined by an actual person. It's been over a year since the rejection and subsequent appeal. If that wasn't enough, my partner has been searching for a job for the entirety of the year, especially since their unemployment ran out, but NO ONE is hiring. This isn't an exaggeration either. They've gone on sites, put in applications, and made calls only to be told that they aren't *actually* hiring. They've even gone on interviews that have gone nowhere. They've tried *everything*, working on applications and making calls to follow up on them literally every single day for MONTHS, and it's been useless so far. This is NOT due to a lack of effort. I've seen firsthand how much it's wrecked them, and it even caused *significant* strain on our relationship a few months ago.

They haven't stopped looking for a job either. It just *isn't* happening, and this is where things start to REALLY go downhill...

The man who tries to call himself my father recently received some financial assistance from his parents due to him being out of a job from his own negligence, with the intention of it being for MY rent (this was explicitly mentioned and the funds were offered due to that), only for him to turn around and immediately steal the majority of the money to waste on himself. (About 1200 bucks, 2k was sent, I only ever saw a quarter of it.) He essentially used it to pay off something that was NOT necessary and the only reason I can say it SO definitively is because I've been the one budgeting money for him for the last decade because, despite him being a nearly 57 year old man, he has no idea how to and never has. It genuinely feels as if he intentionally refuses to learn as well. Everyone around him has tried, for 34 years (on the part of my mother anyway), and it's never gone well. To give you a better idea, this man actively REFUSED to apply for unemployment when I was a child, and my mother had to be the one to do this. It's also not the first time he's tried to get out of paying for something he's responsible for/committed to of his own free will.

He's been lording my partner's lack of a job over their head for MONTHS now despite being the one to tell us not to worry about their half of the rent and that he'd cover it for as long as it was needed. To his credit, he did follow through on this until he also lost his job, which was, again, due to his own negligence. During the earlier portion of this period of uncertainty, our bank also suffered a ransomware attack that left us incapable of tracking our finances for the better part of a month. My biological paternal donor also told me that I should simply keep using my own card despite not being able to transfer funds into the account during this... which left me with about $1500 in debt and forced me to take out an emergency personal loan in order to prevent my account from being closed down. He'd promised that he would handle the full thing when he was capable of doing so, only to immediately blame me for the position he forced me into accepting.

On top of that, we've recently learned he's essentially completely fabricated almost every aspect of his life for as long as I've been alive. This has caused a number of issues, the main one being that I've been forced to cut him off as he's turned verbally, mentally, and emotionally abusive towards me for no reason. It's gotten so bad that I actually ended up blocking him on everything so that I could focus on trying to keep my partner and I housed.

I've been working on trying to fix it, but I'm currently behind on rent as I've been incapable of paying this month (November) and most certainly will not have the ability to do so on the first to keep us here another month. We pay 1k per month for a 12'x12' room in a rather hostile house. We've been attempting to leave since before my partner was released from their last job during a probationary period. They got some holiday work at the end of last year, but clearly, it wasn't going to help us out long-term. And as I've said, they've been unable to find a job since.

As if all of THAT wasn't bad enough, my partner's phone incredibly damaged, but now it's gotten far worse to the point that their lock/power button is no longer functioning properly. Their phone has had issues for months, but we haven't been able to afford to replace it as we've been more focused on keeping a roof over our heads... I'm able to get them a new one through our phone plan where we can pay it off monthly. However, we can't even afford the tax on the new device in order for me to do that. I've tried to find a way to make it happen but now it's completely unavoidable. If they don't have a phone, they'll have even less capability of finding a job as they won't be able to contact or be contacted by possible employers.

Honestly, I don't even know how much we need, I'm at the point of taking anything we can get in terms of assistance... Both of us are already getting our respective assistance from the county, but it doesn't really solve the housing problem, so we need to figure out how to get as much of our rent/bills paid as soon as possible because we're due to get an eviction notice at pretty much any moment. There is nowhere else for us to go currently as we still haven't been paired up with our housing navigation specialist through the county so fighting tooth and nail to stay here is literally our ONLY option right now.

I'm going to drop payment handles/links below... I know that this has been a lot to read, and if you stuck it out to the end, thank you so much. Even if you can't help financially, I would appreciate it if you could at least share this around and boost it to as many people as possible... We just need any form of help we can get at this point.

The following are the payment options that I have access to currently, I haven't set up a gofundme or anything (as they do take a portion of the money) and I just *can't* afford to have that happen right now as we've been counting literal pennies for months. I will not provide my Zelle as that is incredibly sensitive information, and I'm not comfortable putting that out there as it could fuck me over financially or even reveal information that I've worked very hard to keep private from certain people who will abuse it. (Please forgive the PayPal username not matching. It's an incredibly old account, and I no longer use the handle for my other profiles or accounts in any way.)

CashApp: https://cash.app/$dragonbstoned

Paypal: https://www.paypal.me/DragonChild42

Venmo: https://venmo.com/code?user_id=2835216225796096270&created=1731911514

Again, I understand if people aren't able to help financially, but PLEASE share this to boost it as much as possible. I'm just incredibly desperate and lost as to the possible solutions here.

[ilinoxiluxi]

they should put me in charge of health and human services instead bc ive actually had 2 worms and a cockroach in my brain die of mercury poisoning in the last 48 hours. if you saw my brain, you would mistake it for a chunk of swiss cheese that had sat out in the july sun for half a month. my antivax rhetoric has been directly linked to hundreds infant deaths in at least 11 countries including the united states. i was blowing up 5g towers before any of you even knew they were a thing, which btw, i tried to fucking warn you about. i have been spiking my city's water supply with testosterone for decades so young boys in my community don't turn into autistic homosexuals like myself (there can only be one). i shot my roommate in the kneecap after finding his lexapro and will gladly do it again. the fda, cdc, and fauci himself have all put hits on me. one of the guys they hired tried to give me fucking aids, and i only survived because it's Fake and Gay. reading my sex diary has driven several of my wives to suicide. i literally gave birth to covid19 after having intercourse with the corpse of a rabid bat live on fox news and the liberal media has been trying to cover it up ever since. all the other guy has over me is being related to some meth addicted pervert whose head exploded because of a communist or cia agent or something. but i guess that's all it takes to get a job in the white house nowadays

[invinciblerodent]

If you had to pick a song for Iona, Arvid, Petyr, and Mara each-what would they be? And why, if there’s a significant reason.

ooh, thank you for asking!

i was gonna say that I have pretty long playlists for each of them, but yeah, condensing it into just one song is harder than I thought...

If I can only pick ONE, right now I'd go with-

Petyr

.... which is to say, "yeah, I may have failed to live up to everyone's expectations of me, but, have you considered that maybe I'm an arrogant prick for a fucking reason."

this is one of the few non-instrumental songs on his playlist, and it just feels like his entire Thing, crystallized lol.

(.... the lyrics fit too. I mean he did also kinda cut off his family. Or at least hasn't spoken to them in a few years.)

Arvid

This one just really fits my little uncertain cleric boy, holding onto his faith with white-knuckled fists. (A lot of songs on his playlist are either in part about Gale as well, or they're kind of more vibes-based and less literally fitting, but this one has been his theme song since like... last September lol.)

I love that first line of the chorus for him, that "I am creation, both haunted and holy, made in glory".

Iona

Even just the line "this fire eats fire, and the fire is in you" hits very much like her.

Over the months I have gone so far into her that I kinda struggle to summarize her now, but this is still a very "Iona-core" song to me, specifically for those early game, reeling parts of her, when she's kind of trying to have her whole crisis of identity without anyone noticing, and while trying to keep her head straight and not get consumed by the sudden freedom she's experiencing.

My sweet little fucked up weasel-woman, oh how I love her pretty little messed up head. <3

Mara

This one was difficult to pick- her whole playlist, I kinda tried to make work by quickly switching back and forth between the "rip and tear, cult leader, blood on my hands, killing and violence" type of songs and the softer, gentler, kind of more mournful/scared songs, which kinda reflect her more as a very adamantly resisting Dark Urge character who is kind of terrified of her own urges, and actively wants to be soft and sweet, but can't fully deny her nature.

this one might still change as I get further into her playthrough, tho

..........

and though you didn't ask, my head has been chock-full of this guy lately, so fuck it,

heeeeeeeere's Raymond

It's just. Very that "noble boy was originally willing to do what was expected of him, but was painfully aware that it isn't what he wants, and that he just let himself be carried by the waves and whims of the world, right until he was forcibly made to take responsibility for his own life and grow himself a fucking spine".

This has been sort of his theme song for the past decade, ngl. I really like Radical Face either way, but I straight-up can't listen to this song without thinking about him, lol.

head in my hands I love him so much

[crockettmarcel]

exes meeting again after not speaking for years au + sockett!!

I've been thinking about this request literally ever since you sent it I'm so sorry it took five months to write. but anyway this is a fun new au that I haven't mentioned at all anywhere (except in a couple of people's dms) and I love it so so much

wc: 717 warnings: implied child death, mentioned dog death (but literally just from old age), sarah's an oncologist

Crockett sees her before she sees him. She’s standing with her back to him at a computer at the nurses’ station, but even before her face is visible, he knows it’s her. Her hair is the same — darker than it was ten years ago, but pulled up in a bun the way she always used to — and he’s never met anyone else who rubs their neck when they’re stressed the way she’s doing right now.

He slowly makes his way over to her, setting his tablet down at the computer next to hers, then waits a moment before speaking.

“My mom came by the other day with the box you sent. She didn’t mention you were moving here.”

“I didn’t tell her.” She’s still staring at her computer, brow furrowed as she tries to make sense of what’s on the screen, and Crockett takes the opportunity to peer at the words embroidered on her white coat.

Sarah Reese, M.D.

Pediatric Oncology

“Oncology. Interesting choice.”

She snaps her head around to look at him.

Now, face-to-face with her, he can see how much she’s changed in the last decade. The nose ring she’d worn the entire time he’d known her is gone, and it’s only because he knows to look for it that he can see the hole it left behind. Her face looks thinner than before, her cheekbones more defined, and she’s not wearing any makeup either - no more dark eyeshadow or thick black mascara like in all the photos tucked away in albums at his parents’ house.

“Can I help you with something, Dr Marcel?”

Their eyes meet, and for a moment, he can see reflected back at him the same pain he’s become so good at hiding from everyone. He wonders if she can see it too, if his guard is down enough to be vulnerable for once, but if she can, she does a good job of ignoring it.

“It’s been a while.”

She nods, then turns her attention back to her computer. “Ten years.” 

She’s not interested in talking, that much Crockett’s sure of, and if it were anybody else, he’d just shut up and leave them alone. But it’s Sarah, and he has so much he wants to say that he can’t even get the words straight in his head, so he stays where he is and tries his hardest to make conversation.

“How have you been? How’s your mom?”

“We’re fine.”

“And Buffy? Her birthday should be coming up around now, right?”

“She’s dead.”

His face falls, and Sarah has to bite back a smile.

“She’d be twenty now, Crockett. How many twenty-year-old dogs do you know?”

“No, yeah, of course. My bad.”

He turns back to his computer, but every few seconds he glances at Sarah from the corner of his eye. Her attention is fixed completely on her own screen, and she chews absentmindedly on her bottom lip as she reads. Crockett’s never seen her do that before, so he watches, oblivious to the fact that he’s staring until she turns to face him.

“What are you doing?”

He quickly looks away, then mumbles what sounds to Sarah like an attempt at an apology. Maybe he means it, maybe he’s just saying it to get her to stop looking like she wants to kill him, but she doesn’t care enough either way to try and figure it out. Instead, she logs out of her computer, grabs her tablet and half-empty cup of coffee, and makes it approximately two steps before Crockett’s voice stops her in her tracks.

“Sarah, wait.”

“Is this important? Because I have patients I need to see.”

“What happened to your accent?” he asks, sounding almost, genuinely sad that it’s gone.

“It went away when I moved to New York. Now is that all? Because I can’t just stand here and make small talk when I have patients that are relying on me. You’d have hated it if Harper’s doctor had done that.”

She walks off without giving him a chance to respond, and for a moment he just stands there, mouth hanging open, as he watches her walk towards the elevators. She doesn’t look back, and he doesn’t expect her to. Maybe the Sarah he knew ten years ago would, but she’s long gone, and he's not sure if she's ever coming back.

[ninacytosis]

For the time lost

Summary: Zuko wants to erase every reminder of his past mistakes, and Katara will take him on a journey to, quite literally, heal both of their scarrings.

Contains: Angst, Fluff, Katara has burns scars from Aang's first attempts to firebend, Katara tries to get over her resentment towards the FN, Zuko doesn't hate Azula.

Dear reader: I hope you enjoy it! <3 Let me know if you want me to continue posting

Find chapter one here and chapter three here.

┊┊┊┊☆┊*🌙*┊☆┊┊┊┊

Chapter Two

Katara thought about her students while folding clothes. A decent amount of people decided to move to the Southern Water Tribe after the war ended, and she knew a lot of families took this as a chance to start over. For now, she was in charge of nurturing the minds of the young benders that arrived. Even though she loved this new job, it was time for her to take a break.

“Hey, what’s with the sunglasses?” her dad asked, taking them off the nightstand and putting them on. “I know it’s summer but we’re still in the South Pole, kid”

Katara smiled. “I’m just packing them for tomorrow”.

His dad offered to help her, but she was almost done when he arrived, so she thought of two plans for her trip instead. Plan A, she would eat at the first rotisserie that appeared on her way to Zuko’s fancy royal mansion/palace/casa. Then, she would go to his house and even though she insisted on staying in a hotel nearby, she would eventually agree to stay. She would get a Fire Nation royalty-style spa day, Zuko’s treat (it’s important to clarify that, at least half of this plan was stolen on Toph’s visits to the Fire Nation. Though it is quite obvious). After all of that, she would ask him (preferably during a beach day) why he is visiting the North Tribe so much. And right before leaving, she would spend a day at Iroh’s shop.

However, it seemed like she had to go with plan B. Sure, it wasn’t a bad plan B, but it definitely involved fewer massages and face masks than the original, and Katara was just a girl who wanted a little self-care. Can anyone blame her?

“I like what you’ve done to the place” Katara stared at the wooden panels on the wall. She was too shy to confess her feelings about fire hazards, she didn’t even know if it was offensive for him.

“I tried to make it a bit retro, you know?” Iroh explained. “Everything is changing so fast, I’m afraid the world forgets its roots. But I guess that’s not a big preoccupation for younger folks”.

The words of Iroh resonated in her head on most occasions, especially since she was aware that he was Azulon’s firstborn. Even if he had spent more than a decade fixing his past actions, it was still weird for her to share the same table as a guy he had resented from the moment she gained consciousness. It’s hard to get used to this new era, and it’s probably the reason she barely went to the Fire Nation, even if it meant fewer hangouts with Zuko. In the last months, Aang helped her a lot to channel her antipathy into different, less draining emotions. Today’s emotion is: curiosity.

“I think I know why you are here, Katara” he offered her a cup.

“Well, we both needed a vacation”, she said. ”Zuko’s told me how busy these last weeks have been for him… plus I missed swimming without the risk of dying of hypothermia”.

“Then you’re certainly going to love the beaches down on Chaisee’s island” Iroh gave her a warm laugh. “Oh, the times I had there when I was your age!”

Katara took a sip on the cup and smiled.

“But be careful, Zuko’s skin might be sensitive after last week”, Katara cautiously nodded, “as a water bender yourself, you know how the healing procedures work”.

Healing procedures? Katara nodded again. Could Iroh tell she was nervous?

“Yeah…. I totally forgot. It’s such a sensitive procedure!” she said, having no idea about this healing thing. “And I wouldn’t want to hurt a Fire Lord, they have a history of heated arguments don’t they?” Apparently, it was impossible for Katara to shut her mouth. “Anyways, promise I won’t interfere in the treatment. Don’t know how I forgot, Zuko told me all about it on my way here… I mean, on a letter of course. He wasn’t on the ship. I guess you know that” shut up shut up shut up.

Iroh widened his eyes and made a frown that immediately told Katara that her attempts to sound unbothered and casual failed, as usual.

“Did I say something I shouldn’t?” Iroh covered his mouth his hand.

Katara tried to comfort him. “Well, he technically told me about his trips to the North Tribe, so it was a matter of time until I figured out what was going on”, honestly, she never even considered the idea of him wanting to get rid of his scar. He hadn't mentioned since he was sixteen. “I have a few questions now, though”

“Maybe you should ask him directly, I’m sure you’re going to notice the change once he arrives. A healing process is slow, and you know Zuko: he wants everything fast”, Iroh sighed, “but in his last letter he told me that this healing session was quite intense”.

He poured the water into two cups.

“The thing is,” he cleared his voice, “Zuko doesn’t understand that there are some parts of a wound that can only be healed by him.”

[megatownac]

I don't want to talk about Ankha, but I'm going to, just once

To the person who's sent me three asks this week regarding Ankha's status as a meme, both accusing me of not caring about her and then insisting that I must care because of all my totally-normal posts about her:

I'm not going to post the text of your messages, because, frankly, I don't want to. I try to keep this blog safe for all ages, even if I do dance around some adult or risque topics. I'll joke about giving Henry a sound thrashing, or burying Tom Nook alive, or, and this is what seems to have upset you, the fact that NSFW artwork of Ankha exists. But that's where it ends. I try to avoid swearing or using any explicit language, and you went for it in your asks, and that's why I won't be posting that text here.

You've asked me to speak out against the meme of Ankha as a "sex doll," saying that sickos on the internet are ruining her, and making it impossible for people to find normal, work-safe fanart of her.

I'm not gonna speak up FOR that, for sure, but I can't speak against it, because I disagree with your basic premise. I don't think that it's become impossible to find the cute artwork, and I don't think she's being ruined by anyone. As I said myself in my post on Sunday with my latest character poll, on this blog, Ankha is just living her simulated life on Supertown, completely unaware of anything else that might be said or done on the internet. She's just hanging out, like any other Snooty islander.

Maybe it IS hard to look up Ankha on Google image search, or even here on Tumblr, without finding her drawn in ways that differ greatly from her Animal Crossing character design, which is, let's not forget, this:

She looks like a child. She has the exact same proportions, the same mesh, as every other cat, male and female. She's just there, a blob, in fun makeup and with a fun hat that looks like a smiling snake. That's not what's turning people on. They're projecting a fantasy onto her. It's not her. It's them.

And it sucks! And I wish it wouldn't happen! But I do not have some kind of dark and terrible power that I can use to "call upon the Animal Crossing fandom" to do anything about it beyond saying what should already be obvious: you shouldn't post stuff that isn't work-safe in places where kids will stumble upon it. That's not a hot take. That doesn't need ME, of all people, standing up on my soapbox shouting it. You know how many people actually read this blog on a regular basis? Maybe half a dozen, tops. My "last three days" activity view right now says I've gotten eight notes across my most recent 13 posts, man. MOST of my posts get zero engagement with the internet at large.

This kind of thing happens in EVERY fandom, to some degree. Maybe you're old enough to remember when My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic actually tried to embrace their older male audience? It made the online fandom for that show pretty hard to tolerate!

I'm a big JRPG guy. Have been for over thirty years, because, as I've pointed out in the past, I'M OLD. I remember as a teenager, in the early days of the internet, finding NSFW fanart of my most beloved game and cartoon characters and being very upset about it, too.

If you're upset about, say, the Zone cartoon that featured Ankha, I've got news for you there, too: Zone's motto literally used to be a boast about how he's been ruining people's childhoods since 2000. This is a thing that happens, and we all just have to ignore it and move on.

I get it. You like Ankha. A lot. You used a different account, but I'm pretty sure you're the person who did this:

You went back a decade and liked hundreds of my posts featuring Ankha. That's great! I'm really glad that you enjoyed seeing her through the years. I love Ankha, too. She's wonderful. Hang onto that. Don't stress about what other people are doing with Ankha. Ankha does not mind. Ankha is not a real person. Ankha is a video game character. Everybody who has Ankha in their town has their own copy of Ankha, in the same way that everybody who bought a Rainbow Dash figurine has their own copy of it, no matter what extremely gross things they've chosen to do with them. It does not "ruin" Rainbow Dash for other children that there are people doing messed-up things with theirs. It does not "ruin" Ankha that people are getting turned on looking at artwork that other people have drawn and posted to the internet.

Does it make it harder to be a fan? Yes, of course it does. And that sucks. It makes it hard to find the cute stuff that you're looking for. I'm telling you this as someone who first started going online and looking up his interests when he was 1) a young teenager, and 2) a HUGE fan of Final Fantasy 7. The original one, back in 1997. And BOY HOWDY, even THEN, even with a 56k modem that took several minutes to download a single image, I sure did accidentally stumble upon some absolutely gross stuff. It made me angry! And all I could do was focus on the good in the world, and it taught me how to do that, to where now I can play Mario games without thinking about Bowsette, for example.

(Though I actually rather like Bowsette as a concept, I do not like scrolling Twitter and suddenly seeing adult images of the character without asking for them)

If you won't take it from me, take it from Sonic the Hedgehog.

Trust him. If there's ANYONE out there who would know what it means to have fans who are ruining him on the internet, it's Sonic the Hedgehog.

Now, please, go back to peacefully enjoying cute little Ankha the adorable yellow cat in a children's video game, and I'll go back to making silly posts about her that waste everyone's time and clog up the tags so that people have to block me.

[ampcideas]

Gentle self love allowed me to find all the silver linings today: I had to miss a celebration in honor of THE young person who made me an auntie - who’s being deployed for the first time - bc the bug I’ve been trying to fight off caught hold. There’s still a glimmer of hope. Deployment isn’t until the 31st, so I may still be able to hug his neck.

So today, I indulged in whole healing and so much hedge witchery.

Morning movement was putting away the dishes and loading the dishwasher + running it.

Then, enjoying my freshly cleared counters, I simmered high protein ginger/turmeric bone broth with more fresh ginger + turmeric, plus black peppercorns, cardamom pods, gynostemma, and Yerba mate.

I grabbed radishes the other day, so after I got tired of the Greek yogurt dip, I started exploring the fandom of radishes + butter using a really lovely happy cow butter at room temperature. I’ve found I love it most when the radishes are sliced thin and pushed into a thick layer of butter on a really hearty + toothy German sourdough that I got from a local bakery. Now I need a new loaf of bread bc this was the last piece and I still have lots of radish left.

To delight all the senses, esp since smell and taste started off very diminished this morning, I strained the enriched bone broth into my green tea pot and kept it insulated in an adorable and soft tea cozy I got off Etsy a literal decade ago. For my bread, I chopped it in half and angled the pieces over the extra radish slices (easier to pick up and more aesthetic - win win!) on bob’s and my wedding china (Lenox everyday china for the win - we’ve only had slight color fading on the design, a bit of scratching, and a few tiny soft-edged chips on the bottom where the base rests after 15+ years of use, so they’re extra satisfying when one tends to be clumsy and also wants to use pretty things).

Discovered this playlist last night and it is continuing to bring me joy:

While sipping my broth/tea out of the dogwood patter Japanese tea cup from an adventure someone in my biofam had that has been lost to time, I savored two episodes of this delightful docu/restoration design/diy show that sings to my soul - I love how much diversity and love is highlighted in each episode.

I still didn’t have capacity to read or move much, so I put on the 90’s Matilda, fed my cranky dry skin with miracle comfrey oil made here locally, trimmed all my hangnails, and remembered just how much this story has always spoken to me — it was so many layers of healing.

Lunch was squash and lentil veggie stew leftovers and I realized it was almost 60F and gorgeous out, and my sinuses weren’t hurting, so I made sure I had plenty of layers to adjust before taking thrall on a very gentle stroll.

I kept my phone laid on the stroller bc I intended to take many pics + so I could watch for messages from the hubs in case he woke up (night shift) and wondered where I was — so it only counted the steps when I was taking photos, which made me laugh to see only 46 steps in 2 miles. I was not wearing 7 league boots.

I’m really embracing this new era of life with my chosen family and I’m really looking forward to finding my personal rhythm in life. I think the perspective the folx behind the Oura ring align with that, so I’m excited to try my first wearable in a few years since I got over both the watches I tried. After wearing the sizer for 24 hr, I confirmed my ring size and read more depth into getting the most out of it.

Leftover za’atar chicken noodle soup with extra root veggies (from a broth based gratin experiment) for dinner.

I’m picking up Susan Weed’s Abundantly Well again and it feels like the right time. There’s a lot of good stuff in there and I bought the book before I saw the accusations of abuse from her apprentices. Since I just learned of Neil Gailan’s treachery (and Amanda Palmer’s complicit-ness) and I’ve already felt so much conflict re: every time I enjoy a song that comes on and then it takes forever to connect it’s Micheal Jackson… it seems abundantly meta to read this book with caution and care while I use wisdom gleaned from it to heal from a very similar type of abuse she did to her apprentices that my mother and three bosses did to me, while delicately exploring how to maneuver a manuscript filled with with incredible insight and magic that was written by someone who chose to hurt others.

But I’m learning to prepare for challenging mental + emotional situations more effectively, so last night I made the most amazing adaptogen truffle experiment and tonight I made a fresh batch of medicinal flower confetti to make some grapefruit extra special and damn did it! Also, the way I got the peel off was incredibly satisfying.

Truffles were inspired by this Anima Mundi recipe:

But that was just a vague reference. I used 1 bag of semisweet chocolate chip minis, reserving part for the drizzle. In a big bowl: chocolate chips, 1/2 c coconut powder, 1 tsp vanilla powder, 1/2-1 tablespoon ea: ashwaganda, …like 10 adaptogens. Microwaved in very low slow increments until it all stirred together nice, then I stirred in 1/2c s elixer and rolled into fluffy truffles, dusted with extra cacao, and stuck in the freezer for a bit. The chocolate drizzle is ~1/4 bag chocolate chips + 1 tsp coconut oil + 1/2 tsp vanilla power + a dash bergamot oil. Drizzled on top and then sprinkled with crushed rose, lavender, and blue lotus flowers. They have such a great chew and taste floral, chocolate, jammy and the bergamot + vanilla engulf you.

I think I’ll wind down my night with a good nasal rinse, dream tea, and a bit of qigong if I’m not already crawling in bed. 🔮✨