#oc: petyr wildbrook

[invinciblerodent]

It's really interesting to me how apparently, if you flirt with Halsin at the party and don't then, like... dismiss it the next morning or tell him to forget it (my boy is, uh. not shy. about what he wants), his camp comments seem to change? Like I've asked how he's faring like five times now, in the Underdark and the Mountain Pass, and each time he's just said "With such stimulating company? Never better.", which is... different. I don't remember hearing that quite like that before, and I think I'm missing a line there.

I think usually, he'd have a short comment about how the Grove was too comfortable, how he was feeling a bit distant from nature in such surroundings, and how he likes sleeping under the stars again. I think. But this game, I don't recall hearing anything like that- asking how he's doing outside of the plot conversation, I don't really recall anything other than that easy, flirty compliment and reassurance.

I could be wrong or misremembering previous runs, and this could be because of something else, but I... really kind of enjoy imagining that if he knows you're at least physically attracted to him (like he clearly is to you), even if you're very obviously pursuing- or already have a romantic relationship going on with someone else (and he doesn't yet know if you'd be alright with a more open arrangement), he just... doesn't want to trouble you.

If he can convince himself that there is no future to these budding, one-sided feelings, he can be a bit more open and friendly- but if there's no denying the heat in your eyes and the concern in your voice, he... can't help but want to impress you. If he can't convince himself that there's nothing there to it, he just... can't help puffing out his chest just a tiny bit. Can't help wanting to come off as an approachable, gracious, warm presence, and not share too much about things he might think of as his personal weaknesses and insecurities; his less than perfectly cordial, happy thoughts.

Like he's... denying himself the idea of a relationship with you and feels that he must focus on the Curse, sure, but also can't bring himself not to at least try and present himself in the "best" light he can.

I really like this kind of yearning. Yearning is good. Make that man yearn. Make him earn his PhD in yearnology.

[invinciblerodent]

Arvid:

Iona:

Petyr:

(+Ray:)

Tav Question

What is your Tav’s theme song?

[invinciblerodent]

side note, it makes me feel kind of unreasonably giddy that my four "main" games of bg3, i'm playing:

a man loving a man

a woman loving a man

a man loving a woman (and a man)

and a woman loving a woman

and literally all of the characters involved are bi/pansexual.

diversity win, i'm queer and so is everything and everyone I do and make

[invinciblerodent]

oh no

help me, the little smile she drops this absolute bombshell of a line with is just----

i'm about to lose my goddamn mind over another character, just look at her little face

"you know, I've like zero memories of my past or of who i am besides this one incredibly specific and deep-seated desire- nay, religious conviction that i know i've held for years and years, but tbh...? i just made out with a cute boy. twice, even. don't quote me on this, but i think this may just be what thriving feels like."

girl, i'm begging you to please raise your standards for what a life-changing experience is like. maybe just by a smidge. girl the bar is on the floor, and he's just barely not tripping over it. girl he had to pass a survival check to even just find the bar.

[invinciblerodent]

i think in my dragon age excitement, i full-on forgot just how stinking handsome this asshole is

(also, help, i think i accidentally made him cuter than he has any right to be, and not only in the appearance department)

[invinciblerodent]

honestly the way this man can fool people into thinking him respectable just by turning vaguely to the side is downright impressive

[invinciblerodent]

VERY disappointed that my cringefail son Petyr is accidentally succeeding at everything he does.

I was expecting copious amounts of shameful failure, Benny Hill-esque antics, TPKs left and right, and Shadowheart slowly finding herself falling embarrassingly in love with an utter dweebus of a man because his unearned arrogance contrasted with his inability to successfully do anything (and his very secret soft heart) is endearing in the same manner a mean old streetcat pretending not to want pets is endearing.

turns out, a gloomstalker ranger is kind of OP as hell, i'm tearing through enemies I by all means should not be able to defeat, rolling incredibly well for all manner of checks despite not having the stats to back any of them up (I have not yet successfully failed a roll), and the guy is just. legitimately impressive. even his brusque manner is just a dry wit that makes him look effortlessly cool. him being blunt and still kind to kids is just actually charming, and on top of that, he's also as pretty as he is????

of fucking course she's gonna fall in love with him, he's the kind of asshole who knows exactly how good he looks, and I hate that, and I hate him, and I hate that I love him.

i need his ego knocked down several pegs, post-haste. part of me is tempted to just go tackle the goblin camp now at level 3 so he can fail in a sufficiently spectacular fashion, but chances are, he'll just dominate absolute ass there as well

[invinciblerodent]

guess how many times i had to reload for this boy^ (8 CHA, absolutely no proficiency) to successfully fail a DC 15 persuasion roll

(it was 4. I reloaded 4 times until he finally failed it.)

[invinciblerodent]

how does this keep happening

this boy is barely level 5 and he has an INT score of a whopping 8

how

like i dumped both INT and CHA on the party's "face" character (dumb move, I know), and yet... the character i intended to be the cringiest failure loser boy in the realms just... keeps taking ALL the Ws in the world

[invinciblerodent]

an unforeseen side effect of my boy discovering the power of friendship, and the fact that emotions and human connections are good actually, is that it comes with simultaneously discovering that he's at least lowkey attracted to two types of people exactly: those who project confidence on the outside, but are sweet, soft, and in need of comforting on the inside (not entirely unlike a frightened animal), and pretty men with long, brown hair looking at him through lowered lashes with big, dark eyes.

a downside to that is that his newly found friend group is half one, half the other, and Gale kind of sits in the exact middle of the Venn diagram like an appealingly plump toad on a rock.

Look at him. The thought behind this face is very much an ".... oh, I'm not indulging this thought. I'm burying this so quick, and so deep, that it suffocates immediately."

[invinciblerodent]

getting a little bit obsessed with my "cottagecore throuple" here, because the more I think about it, the more disgustingly perfect and idyllic the whole thing is to me.

like... post-game, I like to imagine Shadowheart absolutely thriving. She's a city girl with a deep love for animals, and spotty- to nil memories, most of which are of the worst things to have ever happened in a dank torture-basement: of course a sweet, picturesque forest cottage (so far I like to think that Petyr would call it "The Hovel", even though it's by all means a cozy, nice hunter's lodge) would have her downright giddy, and she deserves every ounce of that happiness ever.

As I imagine it, when not enthusiastically learning all there is to learn about the quasi-self-sustaining life (that she had dropped herself into by shacking up with a literal forest ranger), she spends as much time outside as possible: walks barefoot in the tall grass, stops to smell every flower (and even plants quite a few, just by the vegetables), and lays in the soft underbrush for hours at a time- enjoying the sunlight caressing her face, enjoying a nice novel (and/or a cuddle with Scratch, the cub, or her boyfriend once he sits down for a moment), or just gazing up at the moon and stars in silent worship. She makes friends with every animal that crosses her path, too: SO many potions of animal speaking are consumed, it's absurd. (She's best friends with the chickens. Petyr has to start farming acorn truffles in the basement for her, and that even proves actually very lucrative- in town, that shit sells for like 10-20 gold a pop.)

She'd of course bring home everything that'll let her. Little wildflower bouquets and stuff at first, but also every critter: from juvenile racoons just weaned from their mothers (they look almost like kittens! how cute!), to elderly foxes that just want to curl up in front of the fire and warm their bones somewhere safe for a moment. She's having the time of her goddamn life, she's learning a shitton of life skills she was never taught (finally learning things not meant to make her better at hurting people!), and generally enjoying a life that, while still plagued by remnants of the past (night terrors, perpetrator trauma, loss, grief, pains both suffered and inflicted, all that great stuff), has her feeling actually content with her lot in it.

And with all this, Petyr is... very business as usual, or at least he's trying to pretend that he is. Having someone in what was his space for like 20 years is strange initially, but if there's one thing he's used to, it's adapting. Making things work. (Plus, he's like, happy, or whatever. In love. You know, that sort of rot.)

Then again, he's also used to only having to feed himself with the very little he has, not another (especially another who is inexperienced at this type of thing, and a second another who just... drops by sometimes, always unannounced and unexpected, but never unwelcome), which deep down does have him a bit (a lot) more antsy about not just being the self-appointed guardian of her happiness, but also just... their general survival.

He's keenly aware that winters in the wild are never especially easy, not when you're so far removed from the safety of a community- especially not the way he's used to being alone, without even magic to keep you warm and safe. Usually, he spends most of the year primarily occupied by preparing for winter, and even like that, there have been lean years: years when he got snowed in for tendays, when he did something stupid and all the careful prep went down the shitter, years he had to go hungry and learn to make do with next to nothing.

So he compensates for- (and distracts himself from-) that anxiety by making extra sure that the pantry is stocked to bursting with all the goods there can be, and they often head out into the woods to hunt and forage together- although he's not a great (or even a good) teacher, Shadowheart (usually Shadow, often Heart, lately Jen or Jenny in affection) does make what he used to do out of sheer need, into something also done for fun.

Hunting and foraging are fun now, and soon, the cabinets are overflowing with jars and jars of dry mushrooms, so much homemade deer jerky, jams and jellies and pickles galore... there's mead fermenting, and homemade soap curing before it can be used, firewood stacked to the height of a person... herb bundles, garlic braids, grain corn, and drying peppers are strung up on the rafters like fragrant fairy lights.

Meanwhile, I imagine that Halsin comes and goes as he pleases- not entirely unlike a beloved stray cat. He just shows up one evening as if he had left not tendays, but only a few hours ago, kicks the duff or mud or snow off his boots, and leans his staff into its habitual nook by the door. He sets whatever it is that he brought this time in its appropriate place (be it otherwise unobtainable goods from town, or just a little gift, a treat to enjoy together), and he sinks into the worn-out armchair by the fireplace that was declared his the first time he stayed.

One of the others almost always then strolls by to settle wordlessly on his lap (if not both of them- that poor chair can barely take the combined weight), and just relax as his big, warm fingers slowly work through the knots and ties keeping their hair out of their faces, and, voice rumbling deep in his chest, he tells them all that has happened in Reithwin the past while.

The many smells of dinner and the comforting scent of pipe tobacco mingle with the fragrant herbs and the crackling fire then, and creates something that can only be described as the scent of home.

.............. and then all three just fuck absolute NASTY every day, in every configuration, and on every surface available for the next, oh, month or so.

[invinciblerodent]

and now that I'm back to tinkering around with Petyr, I kinda love how researching survival/ranger things for him, and reading up on stuff, has made youtube decide to pretty much only recommend me bushcraft/primitive tech/etc. type videos, because I kind of just LOVE imagining my boy doing all those things and explaining them very matter-of-factly, like

"Ever heard that you can eat any berry that the birds can? Yeah, stupid misconception. That kind of bullshit advice is how you wind up shitting your guts out, on top of starving to death."

"Alright, if you've no magic, lighting a fire is actually not as hard as you think. All you need is (rattles off like 47 different ways to do it). .... Or, you know, travel with a magic user. Either works."

"This mushroom? Kills you. This other one? Also kills you. This one, that looks exactly like that other one? Tastes like chicken when roasted. Don't make mistakes."

"And this, is how you make a simple snare trap for small game. ... Yeah, I know the rabbits are cute. They're also delicious in a stew, and their hides make great gloves. Don't look at me like that; if it's between you or the cute fuzzy animal, choose you."

"The thing about nature is that she's not a kind, caring mother who'll take care of you. No- she's a cruel, vindictive bitch who doesn't play favorites, and doesn't miss twice. You'd do best to keep that in mind."

[invinciblerodent]

hold on are you telling me that if you play a dark urge, Shadowheart basically confirms that you sleep together at least semi-regularly by the end of act 2

I must have many thoughts about this immediately

(I did always think that there's no reason for the party not to spend at least one night in real beds at Last Light before they'd start heading towards Moonrise...)

[invinciblerodent]

my partner and i were talking today and he mentioned something that got my gears turning

are you in the right headspace to receive information that could possibly hurt you

absolutely dismayed to report that this asshole's severe features are just... going to continue to look fairly appealing pretty much indefinitely

it's not even just that he's somewhat boyishly handsome that's giving him that infuriating charm, he's just...

like that. it's just that secret sauce his mom apparently dunked him into like it's the River Styx

(the beard is mandatory I'm afraid, he's 100% the type of ass who lands a steady girlfriend, and immediately grows a silly fucking goatee. but also, in case at one point he decides that the long hair is a fucking hassle to maintain-

still doesn't make anything any better at all.

he just.... fucking looks like an actor who originally played the cliché heartthrob rogue in an 80's fantasy cult classic when he was like 23, and showed up at a random convention 20 years later only to generate fucking schlocky nerd-media headlines with the simple fact that he is, indeed, kinda dilfy-hot as a 40-something.)

[invinciblerodent]

If you had to pick a song for Iona, Arvid, Petyr, and Mara each-what would they be? And why, if there’s a significant reason.

ooh, thank you for asking!

i was gonna say that I have pretty long playlists for each of them, but yeah, condensing it into just one song is harder than I thought...

If I can only pick ONE, right now I'd go with-

Petyr

.... which is to say, "yeah, I may have failed to live up to everyone's expectations of me, but, have you considered that maybe I'm an arrogant prick for a fucking reason."

this is one of the few non-instrumental songs on his playlist, and it just feels like his entire Thing, crystallized lol.

(.... the lyrics fit too. I mean he did also kinda cut off his family. Or at least hasn't spoken to them in a few years.)

Arvid

This one just really fits my little uncertain cleric boy, holding onto his faith with white-knuckled fists. (A lot of songs on his playlist are either in part about Gale as well, or they're kind of more vibes-based and less literally fitting, but this one has been his theme song since like... last September lol.)

I love that first line of the chorus for him, that "I am creation, both haunted and holy, made in glory".

Iona

Even just the line "this fire eats fire, and the fire is in you" hits very much like her.

Over the months I have gone so far into her that I kinda struggle to summarize her now, but this is still a very "Iona-core" song to me, specifically for those early game, reeling parts of her, when she's kind of trying to have her whole crisis of identity without anyone noticing, and while trying to keep her head straight and not get consumed by the sudden freedom she's experiencing.

My sweet little fucked up weasel-woman, oh how I love her pretty little messed up head. <3

Mara

This one was difficult to pick- her whole playlist, I kinda tried to make work by quickly switching back and forth between the "rip and tear, cult leader, blood on my hands, killing and violence" type of songs and the softer, gentler, kind of more mournful/scared songs, which kinda reflect her more as a very adamantly resisting Dark Urge character who is kind of terrified of her own urges, and actively wants to be soft and sweet, but can't fully deny her nature.

this one might still change as I get further into her playthrough, tho

..........

and though you didn't ask, my head has been chock-full of this guy lately, so fuck it,

heeeeeeeere's Raymond

It's just. Very that "noble boy was originally willing to do what was expected of him, but was painfully aware that it isn't what he wants, and that he just let himself be carried by the waves and whims of the world, right until he was forcibly made to take responsibility for his own life and grow himself a fucking spine".

This has been sort of his theme song for the past decade, ngl. I really like Radical Face either way, but I straight-up can't listen to this song without thinking about him, lol.

head in my hands I love him so much

[invinciblerodent]

ffff I woke up thinking very hard about how heartbreaking it'll be when I get Halsin kidnapped by Orin on my romance playthrough with him

and as I dally on with Iona and fuck around before I'd go rescue Lae'zel, I just... keep thinking about how at this point in his playthrough, Petyr is going to be just single-mindedly focused on murdering Orin.

like I know that immediately, as soon as he realizes what had happened, what was taken from him, he'll throw himself into the investigation.

not eating. not sleeping. Shadowheart has to pretty much force-feed him a potion of angelic slumber, and it's still Jaheira threatening to knock him out manually that manages to convince him that running himself ragged isn't going to help anyone.

the whole investigation, and the murder tribunal thing, and finding the temple takes no more than, say, four days tops. in that time, he probably sleeps all of two hours, and not even consecutively.

and he of course looks awful for it. eyes sunken in and rimmed in red, cheeks sallow, hair all weird and loose and falling into his face... the tremor in his hands is the most worrying part, being a marksman, but his aim inexplicably holds true. advantage is granted on intimidation checks just by the fact that he looks like he's all of one second away from putting an arrow through anyone's throat, and won't even need to use a bow to do it.

he holds it together when Halsin finally comes to on that cold stone slab, whole, alive, and pretty much unharmed by the looks of it. even though he feels like his guts are all squirming like a bagful of snakes, he keeps his wits about him as they reach the Elfsong and get themselves cleaned up. he even keeps a stiff upper lip and a straight spine all throughout dinner- maybe he's a bit more quiet than usual, but overall he seems fine, or at least more fine than he's been until then, if a touch... colder, more distant than anyone had expected.

really, with how visibly upset and scary determined he was, all expected a more... affectionate reaction, or at least more obvious relief. even Halsin himself is probably a bit... not disappointed, that's not the right word, more like somberly resigned about it. Accepts that maybe this time apart was a time of reflection, and a different conclusion was reached than what was expected. Maybe there was some disillusionment (the Big Strong Archdruid letting himself be tricked and whisked away by a jumped-up Bhaalspawn with just... so much wrong with her, that's kind of embarrassing in retrospect), maybe he just needs some time to process. Who knows. Maybe the ardor had simply petered out, as it were.

so they all retire for the night. and in less than an hour, once breaths quiet and movement stills in the room, Halsin feels an awkward body just... wordlessly crawl into his bed and tuck itself up against him.

He feels his ranger's pointed nose smush in the middle of his chest, feels him taking long, shaking breaths of his scent (no longer that putrid stench of sewer-filth and rotting meat, but the usual pleasantly herbal, earthy scent), and feels it all too acutely as the young man just.... starts to quietly weep. With completely silent, but desperate, full-body sobs, clinging to Halsin with what feels like more limbs than he has. He's weeping tears of exhaustion, and stress, and worry, and a loss mourned before its time, and all the druid can do is run soft fingers through his hair, let him cry it out, and whisper "I'm here" over and over again in a tone that means more than either says right now.

like the hold this has on my brain this morning?? unreal

(thank u Larian for the poly option so I can have a playthrough with not just one, but two opportunities for my utter bitch of a PC to dramatically not-confess-but-confess his love to his LI)