#i appear to be able to be concise and summarize about my boys but my girls? verbose-disease

[invinciblerodent]

If you had to pick a song for Iona, Arvid, Petyr, and Mara each-what would they be? And why, if there’s a significant reason.

ooh, thank you for asking!

i was gonna say that I have pretty long playlists for each of them, but yeah, condensing it into just one song is harder than I thought...

If I can only pick ONE, right now I'd go with-

Petyr

.... which is to say, "yeah, I may have failed to live up to everyone's expectations of me, but, have you considered that maybe I'm an arrogant prick for a fucking reason."

this is one of the few non-instrumental songs on his playlist, and it just feels like his entire Thing, crystallized lol.

(.... the lyrics fit too. I mean he did also kinda cut off his family. Or at least hasn't spoken to them in a few years.)

Arvid

This one just really fits my little uncertain cleric boy, holding onto his faith with white-knuckled fists. (A lot of songs on his playlist are either in part about Gale as well, or they're kind of more vibes-based and less literally fitting, but this one has been his theme song since like... last September lol.)

I love that first line of the chorus for him, that "I am creation, both haunted and holy, made in glory".

Iona

Even just the line "this fire eats fire, and the fire is in you" hits very much like her.

Over the months I have gone so far into her that I kinda struggle to summarize her now, but this is still a very "Iona-core" song to me, specifically for those early game, reeling parts of her, when she's kind of trying to have her whole crisis of identity without anyone noticing, and while trying to keep her head straight and not get consumed by the sudden freedom she's experiencing.

My sweet little fucked up weasel-woman, oh how I love her pretty little messed up head. <3

Mara

This one was difficult to pick- her whole playlist, I kinda tried to make work by quickly switching back and forth between the "rip and tear, cult leader, blood on my hands, killing and violence" type of songs and the softer, gentler, kind of more mournful/scared songs, which kinda reflect her more as a very adamantly resisting Dark Urge character who is kind of terrified of her own urges, and actively wants to be soft and sweet, but can't fully deny her nature.

this one might still change as I get further into her playthrough, tho

..........

and though you didn't ask, my head has been chock-full of this guy lately, so fuck it,

heeeeeeeere's Raymond

It's just. Very that "noble boy was originally willing to do what was expected of him, but was painfully aware that it isn't what he wants, and that he just let himself be carried by the waves and whims of the world, right until he was forcibly made to take responsibility for his own life and grow himself a fucking spine".

This has been sort of his theme song for the past decade, ngl. I really like Radical Face either way, but I straight-up can't listen to this song without thinking about him, lol.

head in my hands I love him so much

[discoabc]

Ch 14 Deleted Scene: What’s Wrong

A/N: From my first attempt at ch 14! I think I didn’t use it because of the pacing - I wanted Sakura to suffer a little more before getting that pep talk. I actually copied the pep talk Kakashi and Sakura had from this deleted scene straight over to the real chapter so that is what follows the end of this :)

.

.

I awoke to the sound of movement rather than as a result of incessant nightmares. Exhaustion had made my dreams dull and unmemorable for once and I lay still for a few moments as I tried to recall what had happened through my haze of sleep. It was dark and I turned my head to the side, ignoring how my body ached and the sharp pain that was burrowing into my shoulder.

The sight of someone sat up by my side momentarily startled me but I recognized the silhouette quickly and realized that Kakashi couldn’t have woken up long before I did, muscles visibly tensed at the glimpse of something moving within the darkness. For a split second a thunderous fear that he was going to attack me made my chest feel like it was being squeezed, then, just as suddenly, he relaxed. “Sakura.” His voice was a little raspy, tinged with reassurance and concern. Through the darkness however, I saw him close his eye and the curved smile underneath his mask. “Would you mind telling sensei where exactly we might be?”

It was a good question, one I probably should’ve asked myself immediately upon waking up. “I’m not sure,” I answered honestly with an equally rough voice, squinting to see that we were enclosed within something - a tent? Trying to focus my mind, I noted that Naruto and Sasuke’s chakra signals were nearby and going strong, a huge difference from the weak pulse I was getting from Kakashi even with him within touching distance. Memories of why he was in such a state began to return, the haze of sleep lifting from my mind much against my will because ah shit, things were not good and I didn’t want to remember that for a little while longer.

“We were going to move and set up camp,” I recalled aloud, trying to draw myself up into a sitting position only to fail miserably, shoulder burning with even more pain when I tried to move. “But I passed out before then.” Crying and probably screaming too. Dislocated shoulders do wonders for making your memories suspect like that.

Kakashi’s eyes slid to the source of my agony and there was a flash of guilt across his features. “Ah, yes, sorry about that.” His words were light but it was obvious he genuinely regretted causing the injury by flinging me away from Zabuza with the force he had. Then again, it was better than if he had left me there. Coming out of close quarters with one of the seven swordsmen of the mist with only a few burns and a dislocated shoulder to show for it could practically be considered a miracle.

“I guess it means we’re even?”

His smile became a little more real at my reference to how I’d broken his arm. “I suppose so.” As my eyes were becoming more accustomed to the darkness, I was able to see more of what a bad shape he was in. Whilst he’d been able to sit up, Kakashi was shaking slightly, arms placed behind him in an attempt to stabilize his position but buckling under his weight somewhat. Chakra exhaustion was a hell of a thing considering how aside from that he didn’t seem to have any notable physical injuries.

I glanced down at myself. The arm connected to the shoulder that had been popped out of place had been put into a makeshift sling and the clothes I was wearing weren’t mine. Which was understandable seeing as my clothes had been soaked to the bone and there had been a concern that I was going to suffer from hypothermia.

Then I twisted my head round to see Tazuna laid unconscious on the mat beside me and those memories became that bit more real, all the sleep left in me knocked out violently.

You killed someone yesterday. You saw Takasago die right in front of you. You actually moved against Zabuza.

Oh god.

I didn’t even realize I was breathing fast and hard until Kakashi borderline shouted my name, a beam of light appearing from a sudden opening in the tent and Sasuke’s panicked face peering in. Our teacher looked relieved to see him (he’d almost definitely sensed my teammate outside but there was a difference in feeling someone’s chakra and actually seeing them), but the Uchiha was completely oblivious to this, eyes darting around for the threat that had caused Kakashi to raise his voice. Past him, I could see it was the middle of the night and that a small fire had been lit.

“Sasuke, is everyone alright?” Kakashi asked the question before the boy could demand to know what was going on, voice steady and calm.

He hesitated for a moment before answering, eyes flicking to me briefly. “...We’re fine. We set up camp a little ways away from where the fight was. No major injuries from anyone either.” Excluding the obvious, came the silent addition when his eyes slid over the three of us in the tent. “We haven’t encountered anyone else yet.” Sasuke’s words were clean and concise like we’d been taught to speak in the academy when giving a summarized report to a commanding officer.

Kakashi gave a thoughtful nod. “Good. Get Naruto over here so we can have a team meeting.” He then paused. “Ah, but maybe give Sakura and sensei a few minutes to chat, okay?”

Sasuke didn’t look remotely like he was ‘okay’ with that but Kakashi’s voice left no room for negotiation so he nodded stiffly, taking the silent dismissal for what it was and letting the tent flap fall back down as he left. There was a moment of quiet filled only with the sound of my attempts to regulate my breathing before Kakashi spoke. “What’s wrong, Sakura?”

He knew exactly what was wrong.