#and it's a hard conversation to have
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beebfreeb · 7 months ago
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Messaging people for the first time is so hard. What am I supposed to say? Like, "You seem really odd and your blog intrigues me. Do you want to have philosophical conversations or perhaps talk about fictional characters?" What! Whatever. I will just follow you back and stare at your blog with my big beautiful brown eyes.
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crookedfandomquill · 4 months ago
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This is very situational, and sadly may not be realistic for everyone, but I need y’all to understand that a very important part of political activism is fucking talking to your conservative or moderate friends and family.
My dad voted for Trump in 2016. He’s a middle class white evangelical from Arkansas. He raised me with conservative Christian values, just like his parents raised him. When he voted Trump, he was holding his nose, but he didn’t feel too bad about it, and went on to vote red down the ticket in the 2018 midterms, as well.
But I started college in 2017. Higher education and independence changed everything for me, and I went home over holidays and summers with fire in my belly and a thousand arguments ready at the drop of a hat, to my father’s dismay.
I remember crying in my room after emotional, intense arguments with him. I told him over and over that I felt betrayed by his choice to vote for a man who admitted to sexually assaulting women, who built his platform on dehumanizing immigrants and the disabled, who spread overtly-racist rhetoric, who flouted the values of kindness and self-discipline that I’d been raised on. And my dad always had some justification about the “greater good”: fighting against abortion, bolstering the economy, getting other Christian politicians into office.
But over time, as we grew further apart and I lost my will to discuss anything with him at all, he softened. He started asking me why I thought the way I did about the things we disagreed about. He would listen to my answers without interruption, and mull them over afterward instead of expressing his own opinion. And all the while, he watched the Trump presidency become cruel and absurd and devastating.
The first time he openly expressed regret to me, I had come home for a weekend after Kavanaugh was confirmed to SCOTUS. My dad realized he had helped elect a man who preyed on women… and that man had opened the door to more predators. I can’t tell you what it felt like for him to admit that he’d made a mistake, not just in voting for Trump but in defending him for so long. We kept arguing, but it was more debating than fighting. I knew he was capable of seeing my side of things, even if it took a while, and he knew I wasn’t just a sensitive college student with shallow new ideas about the world.
And then 2020 hit. Specifically, George Floyd was murdered, and the events that followed played out on the national stage. My dad was incredibly shaken by it. He asked me if I had any books from college about racial issues. I loaned him The New Jim Crow, one of the required readings for my Race and the Law class. Then I gave him Just Mercy. Then he watched the documentary 13th. Then he joined a racial harmony group he learned about through one of the few Black families at our church and insisted our whole family come. He held up signs at a protest against Confederate monuments in our conservative southern town. In three years, he went from defending Trump’s comments about “Black-on-Black crime” to publicly advocating for racial justice and opposing the death penalty.
We went together to vote in the 2020 primaries. I couldn’t help asking who he’d voted for; I didn’t even know if he’d asked for the Republican or Democratic ticket. He admitted he’d voted for Bernie. fucking. Sanders, then made me promise not to tell my grandma he’d voted liberal. When the election rolled around in November, he voted Biden. I’m sure he held his nose to do it, just like he held his nose voting in 2016. But I know he doesn’t regret it.
I am, of course, unbelievably lucky to have a parent who loved me enough, and was empathetic enough, to choose his relationship with me over his strongly-held opinions. He kept searching for truth because, as much as he’ll deny it, he’s a very smart and curious person. No degree of intelligence or curiosity makes you immune to propaganda, especially if you were raised not to question the party line. It’s easy to dismiss our conservative, conspiracy-pilled loved ones as stupid, hypocritical, and cruel. Sometimes they are. But sometimes they aren’t. Sometimes they will bend to keep their relationships from breaking. Sometimes, if they can be made to understand that their beliefs and actions are harming someone they love, they will make concessions. And sometimes they just need one person in their life to put a foot down, to be vulnerable and assertive and argumentative, to bring the impact of their politics close to home.
As the most important election of our lifetimes approaches, do not put peace over progress. If you have someone like my dad, someone who is good-willed and smart and loves you more than their own opinions, tell them how you feel. Tell them what their choices will mean for you, for your friends, for your community. Tell them what they could lose: your trust, your affection, your respect. Don’t avoid conflict if it could be productive. Because my conflict with my dad didn’t just win him over–it won over my moderate mom and one of my conservative brothers. And it put us in community with other like-minded people and led my parents to a healthier and kinder faith.
All of this to say, there is hope in conflict. There is hope in our relationships with people who think differently from us. There is hope in exposing your fear and anger and pain to people you love. And hope is a form of activism.
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nerevarbignaturals · 1 year ago
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if I had a nickel for every time a youth from my job accused staff of bullying for asking them not to say racist & ableist slurs in the center, I'd have two nickels! which isn't a lot, but it's sure fuckin weird that it's happened twice
#i am begging us as adults to do a better job about communicating about use of slurs#because that is absolutely where this starts#these youth are growing up in households where the r slur and the n slur are just. conversational#and don't get me wrong there is absolutely a level of personal responsibility to this for those youth#they do need to do some self reflection and take accountability for the harm they cause when they use those words#but these are also kids. and kids learn from the adults in their lives#so if a kid is saying slurs its because parent(s) are likely saying them too#and it's a hard conversation to have#because you want to find a way to describe the difference between reclaiming slurs#that have been used against identities that the person in question using a slur may hold#and the rights that other folks with the same identity have to not hear those slurs as they may not be cool with hearing that#AND the fact that you do NOT have the right to reclaim slurs for populations you are not a part of#which is a complex conversation to try and have with someone who still has a developing brain#i have autism#i was called the r slur frequently growing up#and i am not at a place where i want that word reclaimed because of the trauma i hold#is it my place to tell others they cannot reclaim the r slur? definitely not#but i do have the right to ask that the word not be used around me because of its' triggering nature#youth development also plays into this because this is the age where consequences for negative actions get murky#because their use of things like slurs gets positive reinforcement from alt-right ideologies#which anyone can be vulnerable to even queer youth#because they haven't yet reached the stage of development where they're able to separate shame and ego#aka to understand that when you say something bad it doesn't make you a bad person#but you should still understand that you've caused harm and need to make amends#so when they receive a negative consequence for saying something harmful#it actives only the need for reassurance rather than the ability to acknowledge you've caused harm#which makes them so so susceptible to any kind of media that tells them their behavior is okay#and i could get into the weeds with the fact that this issue of development phases#combines with western society's lack of grace for mistakes and cancel culture#to stunt their emotional growth and prevent them from reaching the stage of development where they can acknowledge and apologize
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noonstate · 1 year ago
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i need well meaning cis people to stop attemping to steelman trans healthcare conversations because it basically always ends with them just lying about easily checkable things "no minors are getting irreversible treatments" wrong not true "no minors are having surgery" also false, like instead just say the truth: currently some minors (few, but some) are able to access hrt that will have some irreversible changes on their body, some (even fewer) minors are able to access surgery.
the counter to transphobes screaming "these kids are being irreversibly changed" isn't "no children are accessing this care" it's "puberty is also an irreversible change" and "i think under 18s and even under 16s should be able to make medical decisions actually"
"no minors are accessing this care" means that transphobes can easily point to the examples of minors who are accessing that care, which just make us look like liars. sometimes teenagers and children need to make medical choices on their own. i think a 14 y/o should be able to get an abortion. i think trans kids and teens should be able to have the approriate care, which for some will just be like, picking a new name or haircut, and for some, sure, could be surgery.
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soldrawss · 2 months ago
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I uh, started this as a little wholesome thing but it QUICKLY got out of hand, anyway part 2 here.
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caffeinatedopossum · 2 years ago
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For all my fellow ADHD and soft voice-havers when we get interrupted/can't say anything constantly
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jangmi-latte · 7 months ago
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wait if he was a first year here and vil said he bulked up/grew bigger during the latest beanfest then...then what is this. is this not bulky enough what h..how big did he grow now that he's a third year..h-he grew bigger???? h-he gained more muscle now that he's older??? a-and he's still working out???? w-what do you mean wha..what i..i like...like he GREW BIGGER????????
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BIGGER!??!??!??!?!!?!!??
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smokin-salmon · 6 months ago
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Fuck it. *Makes the old woman cry*
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ewwww-what · 8 months ago
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Nobody is as excited about the preview as I am. I have paragraphs.
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zenruu · 18 days ago
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if you're still boiling a character as complex as alistair down to anything along the lines of: himbo, idiot, soft baby without an idea of his own, haha funny cheese man i'm straight up burning your house down with lasers and sending you directly to hell.
if you genuinely believe that man is stupid, all you're doing is admitting that you yourself cannot see beyond the incredibly transparent veil he wants to put over your eyes.
what he is is insecure, and he wants you to think he's stupid so that he doesn't have to live up to expectations he fears he won't meet. shortly after meeting him you can call him out on using humor to deflect and make himself smaller and he ADMITS IT.
he repeatedly shows you just how intelligent he is and how aware of the ways of the world he is. his history knowledge, his understanding of the chantry and its control of templars and mages that goes far beyond nearly anyone else we as the player speak with, his emotional intelligence when it comes to understanding others' intentions and needs... and this is just a thoughtless little post with quick examples i conjured up in five minutes! i'm not even doing a deep dive here! how do so many people miss all of this?
this is not advanced reading of subtext, it's incredibly simple and i'm completely unsure how people don't understand this about him.
he's such a great character for so many reasons - his flaws being some of those reasons - but a lack of intelligence is simply not one of those flaws no matter how you spin it.
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archer973 · 5 months ago
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One of the things I realized when I watched Fury Road directly after Furiosa:
Furiosa doesn't treat Max like she treated Jack. She treats Max like Jack treated her.
There are so many parallels - the way they meet, their conflict with each other that quickly turns to partnership, their journey to The Green Place (and how it fails)...
But where before it was Jack reaching out to her, now it's Furiosa who is asking Max his name, teaching him the kill sequence for the rig, trusting him to have her back in a fight, giving him everything he needs to leave (even when she wants him to stay).
Furiosa doesn't see Jack in Max, she sees herself. Everything from the muzzle to the nightmares to the fact that he barely speaks is a direct parallel to what she was like when she met Jack, and Furiosa knows it. And so as someone reached out to her, she reaches out to him, this feral, half-mad Wastelander. She reaches out and offers him hope, just like Jack did to her when he came back for her on the Fury Road.
And together, they find some kind of redemption
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hydnes · 10 months ago
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People using the McDonalds Zionism thing to be fatphobic as fuck is crazy because why would you be like "Why do you need to shovel your fucking face with grease anyways" if you weren't already thinking that prior & just wanted an excuse to brazenly say it. Insane
I still stand by what I said I'm just turning off reblogs because I'm just being exposed to paragraphs of stuff that's almost completely missing the point and I'd rather people didn't boost this over actual posts about what's going on.
Please keep talking about Palestine and not spending money on corporations who fund genocide, and most importantly please remember the people you're doing this for as that's the point I was trying to make with this post.
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avelera · 17 days ago
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Ugh, sorry, one last political point because it’s the day for it and this is bugging me.
Democrats and people on the left in the US have got to knock it off with this whole, “All Trump voters are obviously stupid” thing.
I’m sure it’s satisfying to believe, but it is simply not true, and making assumptions about your opponents that aren’t true is how you lose elections.
Half of the voting population of this country is not stupid and it is ludicrous to insist on believing that. Trump voters include doctors, lawyers, business owners, people with PhDs and graduate degrees, and people who attend college courses for fun. They are, unfortunately for many of us including yours truly, our parents and relatives and I at least know for a fact in those cases that they are well educated, well traveled people.
Assuming these people are just stupid and uninformed is, in fact, stupid. It a simplistic view of the world that is going to make your platforms lose if you embrace it and refuse to look deeper.
In practice, people engage in politics because they want the greatest happiness and prosperity for the largest number of people that they care about.
Everything after that is just haggling over price.
For example, the Left/Democrats might believe that the great amount of happiness and prosperity is brought to the largest number of people they care about when an advanced degree is available to everyone without leaving them in crippling debt, when people can age with social services that allow them dignity, when billionaires and companies cannot exploit their workers, and when peace and just causes are allowed to flourish around the world, including the education and enfranchisement of women, and the long term health of our planet. I personally believe that brings long term prosperity to us all.
Left and Right wing voters right now both probably agree that everyone is happier and more prosperous if they can afford a house and have a job that covers their needs and then some. How to get to that is the sticking point that they disagree on.
Right wing voters also want prosperity for themselves and those they care for and what they disagree on with the Left is how to achieve that. I’m not going to go into their platforms here because the whole point of this post is not assuming things about your opponents.
Now in order to persuade people to hold more Left leaning views, you need to make the case for why what you care about is a thing that they should care about and, more importantly, how it enhances the happiness and prosperity of them and those they care about.
Otherwise, you are asking them to vote against their own interests, which no one engages in politics to do, at least not on purpose (even if it is the ultimate outcome in many cases).
If you don’t care about making this argument to opposite side, then fine, you’ve already lost and you deserve to keep losing elections.
You deserve to lose because you’re not making a case for why anyone should support your causes in order to gain happiness and prosperity for themselves and those they care about, including expanding the field of people they care about, and it is ludicrous to expect people to do that without being persuaded either intellectually or emotionally.
This is what finding common ground and building coalitions is about, even if you don’t agree on every point. And if you self isolate and stick to your purity, you deserve to lose because politics is about how we govern large groups of people towards a common goal that, ultimately, is best simplified as the goal of their greatest happiness and prosperity.
Good faith politics is negotiating over what that means. Because resources are finite we can’t all get everything we want all at once. And not everyone agrees on everything so you need to prioritize the best possible allotment of happiness and prosperity for the short and long term, and that’s when we get into the nitty gritty of all the horse trading that happens in politics etc etc.
And you get into things like billionaires having outsized ability to enact their own happiness and prosperity but here’s the thing, many people especially on the right go along with those views because they believe (rightfully or not) that those goals will increase their own happiness and prosperity as well and if you don’t agree you’ve got to explain to them intellectually or emotionally why that is and provide and alternate platform or path for them to gain it that is more effective by at least some measure of that value.
Anyway, at the risk of this becoming a political science thesis from someone who isn’t a political scientist, just an amateur academic, tl;dr please knock it off with assuming everyone who disagrees with you is stupid, it is a losing proposition and it doesn’t get us anywhere near the goals we want to achieve politically, ie, the greatest happiness and long term prosperity of the people we care about.
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lucabyte · 10 months ago
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I don't know how everyone isn't also always constantly thinking about how burial rites seem to be potentially one of the few things Siffrin instinctively remembers about their culture. But rest assured. I am in fact always thinking about it.
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Textless version where they're just hanging out. It's fine!
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poppedbubblgum · 1 year ago
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Back on my nonsense with another self indulgent comic turned storyboard and value practice.
But for a bit more context, Raph gets massive migraines after the invasion as result of the krangification and mind probing. Mikey definitely knows what’s going on, but can’t get Raph to admit that he needs help.
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howlonomy · 9 months ago
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Yes hello, Really enjoying the Monster Clover AU stuff so far but now a question burns in my noggin... What were Ceroba's and Martlet's first impressions/responses/reactions to when they saw Clovers new look?
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[ martlet ] - [ starlo ] - [ ceroba ]
for prosperity’s sake this takes place;
-3 years after clover died
-6 months after the barrier was broken/the amalgamates were returned to their families
-a couple days after clover was revived
-kanako and clover are about 12-13!
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