#and it'll be my first concert ever

[cinhomi]

if everything goes as planned, your girl here is seeing Stray Kids in July... like. for real.

[ghoulriver]

Made a spur of the moment decision to go to the ritual next week dressed as young Papa Nihil. Not sure how well my face paint is going to hold up but the rest of what I need for it will be here Wednesday. If I wind up feeling generous I may end up posting some pictures of it when the rest of what I need gets here.

Also, if any of y'all have tips on surviving your first ever concert, especially a concert in the pit, feel free to send them my way.

[luveline]

id love to see eddie and a shy!reader at a concert. r is overwhelmed with the crowd and eddie is being his usual lovely reassuring self

love you sm!

ty for ur request! —eddie insists on taking care of you when you get overwhelmed in the middle of a concert. fem!reader, 1.3k

"This is insane, right?" Eddie asks. Or, yells. 

The ground thumps with music. The drum feels as though it's being beaten against your own chest, heat at every angle, lights flashing above and roaming downward. You blink against the purples and blues, your hand sweaty in Eddie's. 

"I'm sorry!" you shout, nodding down at your joined hands. 

Eddie tucks a limp curl behind his ear. "I'm gonna give you the sweatiest kiss anyone's ever given!" 

"Gross," you say, a half second before Eddie's pressing his lips to yours. You can feel the vibrations of the instruments through his skin. It almost tickles, but Eddie's rough touch helps. 

It's a nice kiss, but there's so much going on. The crowd swells with a unanimous cheer as one song ends and another begins. Eddie yanks himself away from you to grin at the performance, whooping as his favourite guitarist takes centre stage for an intro. You gulp in dank air, the person standing behind you treading on your shoes for the tenth time in as many minutes, the person to your right smelling of pot and beer, sticky thick. 

A firm arm curls around you. "You wanna go up on my shoulders?" Eddie asks. He must be pumping with adrenaline, his kisses quick and plentiful over your cheek as you attempt to answer. 

"As if, Eds." 

"What, you don't think I can get you up there?" 

"I know you can't." 

Eddie visibly registers your shifting mood. "Hey," he says, giving your shoulders a jog, "are you okay? You look like you're having a whitey without the smoke, babe!" 

"I'm okay, I…" You blink sweat from your eyes. "I'm really hot." 

"Take your jacket off, baby. I can hold it for you." 

You shrug out of your damp jacket but feel the same. Still, when Eddie says, "Better?" you smile and wrap your arm around his. 

"I'm good. Now shut up! This is my favourite one!" 

You're not telling the truth, but your enthusiasm fools him. Eddie slides an arm behind your back and you hug each other from the side to sing along. You like the music and you love Eddie, you're not interested in ruining the precious couple of hours you have here tonight. You can grin and bear it. You have been for a while. 

Or, you think you can, but you feel something warm on your leg, and you know it's just beer spilled from a crushed plastic cup, but your ears ache as the drum solo starts and fireworks burst at the front of the stage less than forty feet away. The crowd closes in. It's too much. 

"Eddie, I think," —he turns to look at you, eyes sparkling— "I need to go to the bathroom. Okay?" 

"I'll come with you!" 

"No! No, stay here, we'll never get this close to the front again!" 

"Are you kidding? What if something happened to you? I'd lose my mind!" Eddie nudges you toward the back of the venue. "Babe, I know the kind of creeps that hang around, I'm not letting you go by yourself!" 

You're sick of shouting at him to be heard. "No, I'll hold it!" You won't ruin his night. "I'm okay, I– I swear!"  

"Don't be stupid, let's go! It'll be nice to have a break from Doctor Marten," he says, looking quickly behind his shoulder at the perpetrator in question, the guy who keeps nipping your ankles with his thick gummy soles. 

You shake your head. Eddie shakes his head back at you incredulously, twining your fingers together as he starts to fight his way through the crowd, dragging you with him. People are ten times as likely to let you move backwards rather than toward the front, and soon the air is cooling, your skin damp and cold as the fresh breeze finally reaches you. The crowd thins. You can stretch your arms out without touching anyone for the first time in nearly an hour. 

The relief is enough to have you closing your eyes, savouring the sudden lack of input. 

Eddie pulls your hand between both of his, calluses and rings and all the things you love about him scratching your hands as he squeezes you. "Feel better?" 

You should've known he knew. Nodding sheepishly, you say, "Yeah." 

Your breathlessness must endear you to him. Eddie's on you like a rash. Your jacket slips where it's tucked under his arm, but he doesn't let go of your hand, stepping with one foot between yours, his long hair brushing your chest as he closes the space between you.

"It's a lot, I get it," he says. His voice is rough from yelling, scratchy as hewn stone. "I meant to bring you those ear plugs and I forgot. I'm sorry." 

"That's not your responsibility," you say, frowning. 

He smiles at you. "You're my girl, aren't you? I look after you 'n' I like doing it." Eddie laughs, the sort of laugh that says, I'm really happy, I love you, and it's easy. 

Or maybe you just want it to say that. Regardless, he bumps his forehead into yours and closes his eyes for a few seconds, rubbing your fingers between his mindlessly. "Take a minute. Chill. We can stay on the outskirts for the rest of the night if you need to." 

You can deal with being uncomfortable, just not to the level you had been. That was dire. This is fine. 

"Sorry for losing our spot," you say, pulling away from him. 

"Sorry for putting you in a tough one, babe. How do you feel now? Any better?" 

"Yeah, definitely." You pull your elbow up to wipe your burning cheeks. 

"Better enough for a very public and disgusting kiss?" he asks. 

"How disgusting?" you ask.

"Tongue, for sure." 

"That's not that bad." 

"Didn't say where, did I?" he asks. 

"If you lick my ear I'm gonna have to go hide in the girls bathroom," you warn, flushing at the thought of it alone.

Eddie doesn't give you the kiss he threatened you with, only throws his arms over your shoulders to cup your head, lips pressed to your temple. He rubs your shoulders, and after a moment he starts to sway you both from side to side in time with the slightly less hectic song being performed by the band. 

"Chill out," he murmurs. "I don't care where we're standing if I get to stand with you, loser." 

You hug his back. You're uncomfortably warm still, but his touch is a remedy for the general frazzle of white noise that had been fizzing between your ears. 

"Come on, let's go back," you say. The band starts on a song you know Eddie loves, you've heard it enough. 

"I wanna be like, oh, no, I can't tear myself away from you, but I really fucking love this one," Eddie says. He gives you no less than six apology kisses against the bridge of your nose before spinning on his heel to usher you back toward the crowd. Not in the throng of it, but at least you're facing the right way. "Whoo!" he yells.

"Play it louder!" you shout, knowing no one can hear your individual voice over the cacophony. "My boyfriend loves this one!" 

"I love this one!" Eddie shouts at the top of his lungs. 

Your heart lifts at his huge, beaming smile. All the sweat and noise and raw ankles are worth it just to see him this ridiculously happy. He makes it easier, checking in on you periodically for the rest of the night, and persuading you to leave a little early to escape the rush. When he swings your tired arms between your bodies and declares it the best night ever, you know you can keep on coming to gigs no matter how crazy they get. 

[inkskinned]

im having a particularly terrible night with urges and imagery that i dont know how to handle. i gave in to some things. held back on some others. but im barely holding on, dear internet stranger.

you do not owe me your time or your words.. but if you could write some hope into existence for me.. i would be unendingly grateful to you.

please. tell me how you do it. tell me how you survive. because im not so sure i can get through the fifteen days it'll take to get to my seventeenth birthday.

could you please give me something to place my faith in? i dont think the universe is watching out for me anymore.

i don't usually answer these, because i am not a professional, and you deserve professional help. when i was 17 i was terrified of the idea of professional help, because my household was extremely unsafe, and made it clear that if i ever chose to get help, i would be punished for it.

i hope this is not your case. i hope that you can call someone, and they can take you where you should go.

but i will give you the advice that i wish i got, when i couldn't get help at 17, when i was so bad that years later, i literally don't-know-how-i-survived it: what you want is peace, not death. your brain is sick. it has romanticized an ending where there are no consequences. where effort isn't necessary. where you can just... forget.

you want peace. that is a normal, human thing to want. maybe it feels more like you want quiet. or just... to take a break for a second.

here is what i will say: to end yourself means you never get to experience what it's like to actually be happy. i thought i knew what it was like, and i was bitter about it. i'd say - i've been happy, it's not worth it, because i didn't know what i was missing. i thought that happiness meant having a partner or having a job or money or a college degree. it sounded like effort. it sounded like something that had to happen to me.

for the first time in my life, just this week, i was able to go to a concert and just-enjoy-it. no liquor, no drugs. just stomping my feet and getting caught up in it. i didn't feel nervous or self-conscious or overwhelmed. i just had a good time. these days have a lot of these firsts for me - it is the first time i can eat cake without crying. it is the first time i can be around an exacto blade without supervision. it is the first time i have too many people to call when i am crying.

i can't tell you where you'll run into happiness, only that, for me, it started once i was out of that fucking house. it started once i figured out where the pain was coming from. once i figured out that i was not possessed, something medical was wrong with me. that i am not stupid or lazy, i have depression and adhd. the first few years were difficult. at 19, during my efforts to recover, i actually got worse by a considerable margin. and then, with time and patience - i got better.

happiness doesn't feel like what you think it will. in movies it's so golden and all-encompassing. but it doesn't fly into your hands when you buy your first car nor does it arrive in the arms of a partner nor does it require passing your classes. happiness came to me on a tuesday in the form of a red-winged blackbird, and i looked at her, and she looked at me, and i said - oh. the whole world suddenly filled itself in with color. like i had been forever-asleep. like every corner of every room was suddenly glistening.

it ended quickly, back then. it just stopped in to check in on me. but it was enough - this thing i had never experienced, but that i knew (logically) could happen. before that, i was only staying because it would make my mom sad if i died. that was my only reason. and then the happiness came, so strange and brilliant and lovely that for years i couldn't even look at it directly.

these days, things are so different. life is so much easier. i don't wish for death because so much of what i have is already at peace. my boss understands when i need a mental health day. people in general are less prone to high school drama. entire communities hold my hand and have my number. i have a car and a dog and a little apartment garden and candles on all available surfaces and today i bought myself a little cake just-to-celebrate-nothing. my body is my own and we are both dancing.

there are so many things i've gotten to taste in the last 10 years. i know, for you, that is an eon, because it's more than half of your life. but if it helps? in the 5 years between 17-21: i filled myself with laughter and love. i got to be a lead in a ballet and got my first tattoo and then my second and pierced my ears the way i'd wanted to (one of them professionally the other over a hot stove with a potato) and i discovered hozier is my favorite singer (i know. he was new back then) and i got my first real job and my first real paycheck and i hadn't ever been seen as smart but then i started to actually treat my adhd as a condition rather than a burden and people started saying you're like the smartest person in the room and my best friend met her husband who i will one day stand next to as maid of honor when he is her groom and i got to help people and make a stupid blog called "inkskinned" and find out that writing is actually my passion and that maybe i'm actually kind of good at it if i just practice and i got to meet my parents' dog (his name is kaiju) and i slept on couches and kissed people and tried new things and learned how to breathe without feeling my chest tighten and that peace is here, on this planet, that peace echoes everywhere, it is in my hair and my homework and my houseplants, it is quiet and divine and mine because i fought for it and i built it and yes i lost hair over it but holy shit the whole world feels like it is shifted through a sunbeam

recently someone asked me if i could go back in time to 6th grade, with all the knowledge i have now, would i? and without thinking, i barked absolutely not. i know i should say it's because i wouldn't want to risk losing any of this stuff - but really it's because i would never survive being a teenager again. it sounds incredibly lame and impossible, fake - but being a teenager was the hardest thing i ever did. i had no voice, no control, only fear and hatred.

but i did survive it. nothing about me is special. nothing about me is stronger than you or better prepared or more efficient. i didn't survive it perfectly. i made a lot of mistakes and lost a lot of friends and harmed myself in ways that i'm still recovering from. but i did survive it. and there is a part of me looking at you in the past and saying - i'm you in the future.

and holy shit. every day. every goddamn day i'm glad we survived to see the rest of it. because you hit 18 and everything changes. like, everything. and holy shit, it is infinitely worth it.

[jokeroutsubs]

[ENG SUB] Bojan Cvjetićanin and Nace Jordan on 'Na sceni', Val 202 (19.11.2024)

Bojan and Nace discuss the process of making the new album, 'Souvenir Pop', the songs 'Mesto duhov', 'Muzika za decu', 'Stephanie', 'Ako toga više neće biti' and 'Lips', and the therapeutic note Nace brings to the band.

The original audio, including the songs which are cut out here for copyright reasons, can be found here.

Transcript and translation by a member of JokerOutSubs, review by IG 10_anja, proofread by IG GBoleyn123, subtitles by @vesdagrem and a member of JokerOutSubs.

Full video with transcript below the cut 👇

Host: Good evening, welcome to Val 202. You're listening to Radio Slovenia, the second programme. The 'Na sceni' ('On the Scene') broadcast has just begun and today's guests are from the band Joker Out. Good evening.

Bojan: Good evening.

Nace: Good evening.

Nace Jordan and Bojan Cvjetićanin have come to our studio. They've taken precious minutes out of their probably too-full schedule. Bojan, what's that been like for the past year and a half?

Bojan: The schedule is nicely full, but an interview like this one today, these are nice notes on the calendar, so...

Thank you.

Bojan: Thank you for hosting us.

Nace, how have things changed after the second album, 'Demoni', has anything changed at all?

Nace: That'd be hard for me to comment on, since I only joined the band with the second album.

Bojan: Well, has anything changed for you?

Nace: A lot of things have changed for me. I became a member of a band. I finally have a band with my peers, kind of, and we've created a new album. We suddenly saw a big part of Europe, by playing concerts in... how many countries did we visit, I don't even know. Well, in most of Europe. And... I hope we'll go somewhere outside of Europe as soon as possible, too.

And that would be only right. You're one of the few Slovenian ensembles, performers, who have even managed a feat like that.

Bojan: I mean, we managed to do something really nice. Basically in one night, I'd say, from that... if we think of it as the final night of Eurovision flowing into our new band era. We really went from a band that performed practically exclusively in Slovenia to a band that, in the past year and a half, performed, I would say, exclusively outside of Slovenia. So we definitely had a 180-degree turn happen to us, but I'd say that we really took the proper steps on this path too, even though it happend, I'd say... well, very quickly, but we didn't get ahead of ourselves. So I'd say that, as a band, we're still held together by nice foundations and roots.

The album is called 'Souvenir Pop', so it'll forever be written down somewhere as a kind of memory, right?

Bojan: That's right!

A pop one, even though a few songs are quite, let's say, well, significantly harder.

Bojan: Yes...

How come, it's a live experience, right?

Bojan: Yeah, you know what it is? We're children of a generation of parents who always said that you should bring a magnet home when you go somewhere. It was always like that for me. You absolutely had to bring a magnet from a trip. And these songs are actually, with all the memories and all the emotions they pull, they're magnets that we've all brought together and collected in a bag and they will forever remain very tangible souvenirs for us, I'm sure.

First up was 'Mesto duhov'. Bojan?

Bojan: Yes, 'Mesto duhov' is actually, I'd say, the first absolutely pessimistic song I've ever written. I have to say that I'm pretty sad and unhappy every time I wake up from the slumber of everyday life and realise that there is constant injustice and inequality and basically impossible living conditions around us. And... I also started to feel that in the general climate for the first time. I feel that people have a different aura around them, that we're all on some kind of high alert. There's a lot more of a negative whiff in the air. Young people are pretty pessimistic. That's how I perceived the current climate, not only at home, but basically wherever we went. So I think that 'Mesto duhov' was a very clear reflection of how I felt when I first walked through the streets of Ljubljana when I came home after a longer period of time, which never happened to me before, I was never away for that long.

Nace, the next one is called 'Muzika za decu'.

Nace: Yes.

How did you fall into... I won't say the Joker Out machine, but into this creative process of yours, or, how are songs generated?

Nace: This song actually has a very interesting origin. That is, if I remember correctly, in the six weeks that we spend in the studio in Hamburg, we were kind of waiting for Bojan to write and bring another song which we would then put our instruments over, and in one moment, Bojan said: "We're not doing it that way anymore. We'll do a song here tomorrow and that song will be a hit, will be the best." And I have to say he wasn't wrong because we grabbed our instruments and... That was definitely one of the highlights of those six weeks in Hamburg. I think that was when we lived like a band the most, or felt a kind of mutual energy the most, we took the instruments and played that together. And I think Bojan had an idea in the back of his mind.

Bojan: No, I had... I had something on the piano. Pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa.

Nace: That idea.

Bojan: But it was called 'Zlatna kosica' ('Golden Hair') initially, I have no idea what it was, something like "how I'm drawn by your golden hair", which just, I didn't feel like constantly drilling the piano, so Kris did it on the guitar...

Nace: That's right.

Bojan: Then it was very clear where the song was going, even with that busted guitar. But it had an attitude, and just bam, 'Muzika za decu'.

Nace: I think it has, the whole song captured exactly that energy.

Bojan: I came up with the lyrics while singing. The idea was that because I was recording on, I don't know, an SM58 or something, which is a microphone that you generally use for live singing, not recording. And I was in the place with them while all the instruments were rattling, and the plan was just that... Okay, the lyrics work, even if I came up with them more or less on the spot, but I'd record the vocals again in Ljubljana. I came to Ljubljana, I recorded with a proper studio microphone, it was a catastrophe and then poor Žare had to clean all those vocal channels of all the noise surrounding it. So this song is truly, the way we did it at our place there, that's how it came out, from start to finish.

Great, so Joker Out, the album is 'Souvenir Pop', the third album in a row, this will be 'Muzika za decu'.

You're listening to 'Na sceni'. Our guests on Val 202 are members of Joker Out, they are Nace Jordan and Bojan Cvjetićanin. The album is a bit of a mix of languages, right? On purpose. Three Slovenian ones, four Serbian ones and a few English ones.

Bojan: True.

Did someone from your headquarters recommend that you do that?

Bojan: The soul. The soul recommended it. The songs are written in the language in which they came up when I started writing them. With the exception of 'Mesto duhov', which was initially a song called 'Wembury Mews', which was our street in London that we lived on. But I then ended up writing it in Slovenian because I had a story that resonated with something I wanted to tell, and I think it also coincided very well with the music. But no, like... We travelled a whole lot, I thought and spoke in those three languages a lot and that just came out of me in the way of songwriting. I think that it was a very clear, at least clear to me, reflection of parts of me that come out completely differently when I think about them in a different language.

Anyway, the team is now that you've joined as the last one, Nace, still the same, right? Who are the other three matadors?

Nace: The other three are Peteh Jan, guitarist, Kris Guštin, guitarist, and Jure Maček, drummer.

And if you spend six weeks together in the studio and live somewhere together, like some kind of football team, do you ever argue?

Nace: Of course we do, it's normal to have a moment when you disagree with someone. But I think that now we've spent so much time together, we know each other well enough to spot which one of us might be in a not-great mood in that moment and give him some space or sometimes agree with him for the sake of mutually good energy.

Bojan: But I was thinking that we've actually never argued in the sense of fighting. There have absolutely always been many disagreements as far as creating and logistics and all that stuff go. But there was never a moment of something blowing up. Genuinely. I don't remember that happening. So that's very good. But that's the consequence of us constantly clearing things up, and... We don't allow anything to inflate that balloon and for everything to end up exploding, but... Nace, for example, is the most important, let's say, member of this relationship. Especially because he brought this "filtering" dynamic into the band, because he's actually the only person who always calls all of us the moment he feels that there's a bad mood in the air. You always get a call from Nace: "Is everything okay? Today I sensed that things were a little off, what happened? If you want to talk, you can hit me up." So I'd say that Nace also brought a very healthy therapeutic aspect to this band.

Commendable, of course. You need that too, you'd probably have a hard time without it. Up next is 'Stephanie', so an English one.

Bojan: 'Stephanie' is actually an interesting song. I wrote just the line "Her name is Stephanie, she lives about a thousand miles away from me" about three years ago, but it didn't actually have any kind of story, except the melody and this line that sounded nice to me. But by now, things have already happened in my life that actually gave it its story so the song wrote itself very naturally after that. It kind of has a slightly different sound. Because we didn't really know what to do with the song, Žare Pak and I kind of patched it together with his famous Reason programme for creating percussion. And then Nace played around with programming for an hour or twelve.

Nace: The song is interesting because most of us don't play our primary instrument in this song.

Bojan: That's true.

Bojan: Jan...

Rotation.

Bojan & Nace: Yes.

Bojan: Jan and I are on the bass.

Nace: Kris and I are on the guitars.

Bojan: Yes. I played the keyboards.

Nace: I also played the keyboards. I mean, like, it's something completely different.

Yeah, that must contribute to the vibe.

Nace: Yes.

Bojan: Yeah, I mean, making this album was quite the sandbox. Sometimes you had to fight for the toy rake you liked the most.

So, 'Stephanie' and Joker Out. Tonight's guests in 'Na sceni' are Bojan Cvjetićanin and Nace Jordan, Joker Out, of course. 'Souvenir Pop' is the third album, Jernej Vene is with you. There are two concerts in Cvetličarna coming up, both sold out. You're not going to a bigger place on purpose, right? Because you like proximity. What does the audience give to you?

Bojan: We're not going to a bigger place, or a different place, on purpose because we presented the first album twice, in a twice sold-out Cvetličarna. That was absolutely, if not the most beautiful, then one of the most beautiful moments of our lives. This year, when we've been away from home so much and played in clubs so much, we saw what a good effect that club energy truly has on us. How much of a reciprocal "give and take" moment it is, meaning, you give your all and the audience gives it all back to you and the same thing happens for them. So we said that we wanted to play at home, somewhere we also feel at home. That is definitely home to us.

There's actually a bit of a problem now since you have three albums. How do you pick the songs for the concert?

Nace: I mean, we just started that this week, when Bojan wasn't here, putting it together a bit already, what should be played, and it's actually a real problem because there are a lot of songs that are "the juicy ones", as we call them. Those are the songs we have to play or that we like to play or that...

Bojan: For a 'Greatest Hits' album.

Nace: Yes. The juicy ones. And alongside the new album, which we'll play in its entirety at the upcoming concerts, there are too many of these songs to fit into a two-hour concert so we'll definitely...

Bojan: Oh, we have such horrible problems.

Nace: No, no, no. I mean, it's a problem because some fans want to hear one song, others another, so we'll probably change the playlist a bit between the concerts so that we can play at least something for everyone.

Moving on. 'Ako toga više neće biti'.

Bojan: I don't know, it's probably my favourite song from this album. One of my favourites in general, as well. I think we feel it. It was a bit weird initially. I remember that when I showed the boys a rough idea, they weren't really sure what, basically... What the poet wanted to say¹.

¹It is a phrase commonly used in Serbo-Croatian speaking area, meaning that it is hard to understand what the author of the original piece of art wanted to say, the meaning isn’t transparent or clear right away. This phrase also has another word used sometimes, it’s pisac instead of pesnik; in that case it translates as ‘What the writer wanted to say’. Pisac is a writer, but the meaning of the phrase is the same.

I'd say that this is where we sound the most like a band. Well, maybe here and in 'Muzika za decu'. But purely from the sound aspect and from a kind of vibe aspect, this recording makes me feel the most like I'm listening to a band that's playing in the same space. Because most of it actually was played together, as well. I like it. It's organic, it's very close to my heart.

So, 'Ako toga više neće biti' and Joker Out.

Joker Out in 'Na sceni'. The album 'Souvenir Pop’ is their third one. Bojan and Nace are here. After Ljubljana, you're on the road again soon, or what?

Bojan: That's right.

Nace: True, true. We're going around the Balkans for a bit, that is, I think we're starting in Novi Sad², continuing in Belgrade, Skopje, Zagreb, then we're returning to Maribor and finishing in Vienna.

²The concert in Novi Sad was later rescheduled due to a tragic event that happened in the city when a canopy at the railway station collapsed, killing several people.

That's still for this year.

Bojan: That's for this year, yes.

We continue with another Slovenian one, titled 'Sonce'.

Bojan: Yes, 'Sonce' is a song that came about as basically my direct response to what's currently happening in Palestine. I actually kind of had a story in my head of a son who's saying goodbye to his mother from the afterlife and is basically addressing his mum with those words. So I'd say it's a pretty atypical song for us, seeing as there's no repeat chorus, or that it doesn't have the kind of classic song structure. And I absolutely have to say that Jan did an incredible arrangement, and wrote his own piano part and recorded it as well, which really added even more dots to the 'i' for the song. So I'm glad that it's basically... what I wanted to say with my voice, Jan completely encompassed with the piano as well, so... It's a heavy song to listen to, at least for us, I'd say, but still beautiful. It fits onto this album.

Joker Out on 'Na sceni'.

Bojan and Nace are still tonight's guests. We won't ask about plans because they happen on their own, right. Are there any days that aren't planned?

Bojan: Absolutely.

Nace: Definitely.

To clear your heads, right?

Bojan: Yes, yes, yes. I mean, in general I think that Nace and I in particular are not really the type of people to... When...  Yeah.

Nace: To set up schedules for ourselves.

Bojan: Yes, we're not the type of people to have a schedule, especially for free days. And, I don't know, for me, even with days that are planned, I often happen to wander off somewhere. And it's by accident, but... I don't know.

Nace: I mean, everything is definitely organised so that we at least have mornings free. So, if we do want to seize the day, we just wake up a little earlier.

Bojan: Yeah, right. Stop it.

Nace: Well, look, it happens, stuff happens. You go to sleep too early...

Bojan: Yeah, okay.

N: ... and you seize the day.

Bojan: That's right.

Nace: Early.

For the end of the broadcast another English one, 'Lips'.

Bojan: 'Lips' is truly a song that had many forms. It started out as 'Je t'aime'. A Franz Ferdinand-esque rock song with French and English. It ended up as... what kind of genre would that be, if any?

Nace: I'd call it cinematic rock

Bojan: Cinematic... wow. There you go, a cinematic rock song. It's also, I'd say, a departure from our traditional sound. This is in large part thanks to Nace on my right, because he arranged practically the whole song as well as put it into its sound form. He really put in the effort here and spent a whole lot of time on it, so we really have to say "Thank you!" to Nace here. Or, if you don't like the song, tell him to get lost, but...

Nace: I'm the one at fault, yes.

Bojan: Yeah, I mean, I like it, I think I had a very determined vision of how I wanted the vocals to work in this song. Whereas what would happen around it was kind of a mistery to me. So Nace, with his cinematic rock, hit the nail on the head with me too.

Nace: But as a fun fact, well... this song was happening in the studio, we were in a bit of a hurry, honestly.

Bojan: At the end, yes.

Nace: We were in a bit of a hurry at the end, and one evening, I was like: "It can't be like that." I got...

Bojan: Yes, Žare and I made the basic beat and stuff, but it was very bland. And then Nace, in five hours or so, put something together and sent back something that, if we put it as a trailer for, I don't know, James Bond or something, it'd be awesome.

Nace: As a fun fact, I did all that while lying in bed.

Bojan: Well, there you go.

Nace: On my laptop.

Bojan: Such hard work, that you can do it in bed on your laptop.

Fun. Gentlemen, thank you for visiting us.

Bojan: Thank you for the invite.

Nace: Gladly.

And good luck on all the roads ahead of you in the next year and beyond.

Bojan: Thank you.

Right, to finish off, 'Lips'. The album is 'Souvenir Pop', Joker Out is the band, you know all that. Nace Jordan and Bojan Cvjetićanin were with you. Jernej Vene, signing off. Until next time, to plenty of good music. Goodbye.

Bojan: Goodbye.

Nace: Goodbye.

[danaduchy]

all texts from Kerry

Found Henry Holy shit, Henry's on board. Way to go! Check outta rehab of his own free will… thru the window, hehe. Some nurse tried to stop us - at first I thought she wanted an autograph, but she didnt even recognize me. Tell you the rest later How's it going with Nancy? S'all under control That's what I like to hear

Samurai's back together What about Johnny? He amped for this gig or meh? * As amped as he's ever been. Must be important to him cuz otherwise I wouldnt be forced to take this stupid pseudoendotrizine * Hard to say. You know how he is Well I'm amped as fuck, if anyone's wonderin. It'll be fuckin shimra - just gotta remember not to get too wasted before. Old habits die hard, haha

Waiting for you Kerry? Where are you? On the way. Chill. Gotta change

What's up, V? Too bad you split so quick after the concert - we didn't even get a chance to chat I barely know anything about you, except you've got a shit-ton goin on inside You're the one who left early That so? Hm, maybe. Anyway, it was fuckin nova, wasn't it? Shoulda recorded it for you cause you didn't catch anything thru Johnny

Hey! Heey. So I cant stop thinkin about our little adventure. FUCKIN AWESOME. Thats how you live life. ON THE EDGE :> * Who doesnt like explosions and races right? :) Lemme know if the rest of your plan worked out Sure, I'll text or call ;) If I can't convince you to blow up anythin else, then at least we can go for a drink. Take care! * Egh, day just like any other. Hope it helped you tho Pff, sound more nonchalant than a karaoke star from kabuki ;) I'll be in touch

Coffee at Caliente Know what? I'm glad we got a chance to talk over coffee. You're a straight shooter, V. Nothing like the ass-kissers I'm usually surrounded by. It's good we did what we did, right? Blowing that van to bits? Cuz I been thinking… * To be honest, got no clue if anything good will come of it. I agreed cuz you paid me. Honest as ever, huh? Means I was right about you. Appreciate that, V. I really do. Don't ever change. * It was the right thing to do. And you've got nitro running through your veins. Don't you ever let yourself think otherwise! Nitro in my veins? Yeah, and a fuse sticking out of my ass. Least that's what I felt back then. Was worth it, though - slept like a fucking baby for the first time in ages. Talk to you later. Thanks again!

Reward Hey, forgot to send the eddies before, but should hit your account any sec. PREEM WORK :>

Where are you? Well, where are you? At this rate I'm gonna be a fuckin skeleton by the time you get here.. Move your ass or forget about this whole thing Dunno where you are or what you're up to, but I'm a busy fuckin man. Forget about it - don't have time for this shit Srsly, V? Ditched me with the badges and split? Shitty move. We're fuckin THROUGH Where the fuck are you? Grrr doesnt matter. I'm checkin out, goin home. Call ya if somethin comes up

answer yr phone!!! Hey, V. Got a job for you. Corner of Grey and Mallagra. Be there first thing in the morning, we'll talk it over. I'm fucking livid, V! Those Us Cracks bitches clearly didn't get the hint. Instead of cancelling after we blew up their truck, they just moved their show to another date! Meet me at Riot ASAP. We'll deal with them differently this time. The Us Skanks still wanna fuck me over and record the cover, V! On top of that, their lawyers won't stop yappin'. We really need to talk. I'm at Dark Matter right now. Come 'round the back, the bouncers will let you in. It's easier to reach my dead grandma than you, V! Anyway, Us Cracks are done, for real this time. We should celebrate! Stop by Dark Matter. Use the back entrance.

What's up? Hey, hows it going? Ownin the streets of NC? * More like tryna survive. Let's just say the city and I are even Sweet. What's that? What's up with me? Nice of you to ask. Hammerin out some sick tunes. Ok, more like trying to hammer out. Keep your fingers crossed * Hey hey, you could say that. Lotta stuffs been happenin - even without you! :O Yeah yeah, whatever! I'm stringin together some fresh tunes… OK, more like thinking about some fresh tunes. Keep your fingers crossed

Missed holocall! V! Whatever you're doing right now - drop it and come see me at the Marina. Pier four.

Scratch that! Spoke too soon Slight change of plans - waitin on an important delivery and the fuckin gonk's late. Be at the marina at 7pm!

Kova-chek this out :D Kovachek went ballistic when he found out the yacht went up in smoke! Even went back on those pills that turn him into you know, whatever the opposite of a cyberpsycho is. More goo than a man haha this is greaaaaat! * Ouch. Musta sunk a lotta eddies into that float! :P Speakin of dickheads tho - turns out he stashed a ton of drugs on board! Like, two yachts' worth. And we sent aaaall of that to the bottom of the sea :D Bay's full of fish high off their fins now! * Literally zero living organisms in that bay, Ker. Yeah duh they they took their happy fishy asses down to the spaceport and went to la la land. Anyway tellin ya whenever I'm down, I think about our seaventure and it's like insta good feels :* * Wow. What now? Feel like blowing more of his shit up. Think he's got a luxury crib somewhere in the Rockies… Something to think about… :P FUCK NO! I GOT IT! We make a Kovachek voodoo doll! Can't wait to stab that prick right in the dick :D * I really don't care about that dick, Kerry. Fine OK. As long as you care about MY dick, that is :P

Hey :* Heeey, how's it hanging? Everything all right? I'll just come right out and say it - I miss you. Just a little bit though ;) You coming by anytime soon? * Miss you too, if you can believe that. See? We're tuned to the same frequency. I'll try to swing by sometime. Preem. I'll be waiting! * Hey! Well well, look who's suddenly spilling their guts out :P Dunno when I can drop by though :/ Sad face :( But fine - I know the world doesn't revolve around me. It sucks, but that's the way it is. Take care! * Been thinking about you… Thinking about you too. You're like some chorus to this incredible song that's been stuck in my head lately. On loop :) * What's new? Still conquering the world with music? Planning to! :) don't really know if there's anything left to conquer though. You're already mine, right? (I know, I knooooow, it's cringe. But I couldn't hold myself back!) Latest song I wrote - read it and weep. Wrote it while thinking of you: "Where you whisper, open up your heart / Reveal the place where I once had a heart" Whaddaya think? * I like it. It's gentle, but still has a bite. And knowing you, probably has multiple meanings ;) Exactly! I knew you'd get it :*** * Hmm, you were thinking about me when you wrote that? Dunno if that's good or bad :< it's up to you - that's the whole point! :* * Got a bunch of things on my plate right now. Times are tough. Oh, OK, cool. Do what you gotta do. We'll talk later, no prob.

Serious business Check it out, V. Got this email from a lifelong fan. It's serious. Gotta write her back. Dear Mr. Eurodyne, the day we both have been waiting for is finally upon us! I got rid of my husband, my house and all the other remnants of my former life. Now, I'm truly ready to give you my heart and all my other organs, should you desire them. You are the Sun and I am the Moon - I live to bask in your radiant brilliance. I love you, Mr. Eurodyne, and eagerly anticipate the time we'll finally be together. We will meet soon - I'm sure you know exactly where." She also sent me a gift card to a junk shop in Providence, wherever the fuck that is. It's clear she's nuts, just not sure if it's the murder-suicide variety. She writes me same day every year, like clockwork. What if she dissolved her man in a vat of acid, burned down her house and now she's sharpening her sickle cuz I'm next!? What are we gonna do, V??? * You really worried about her? More importantly: Kerry Eurodyne actually reads fan mail? Adorable. Yeah, yeah, Kovachek usually deals with all that shit. Even signs photos and sends them to the fans. But the fucker always forwards stuff from this crazy broad. Gets his rocks off fuckin with my blood pressure. Anyway, thought you might get a kick out if it. Seriously though, I should probably do something. Don't want her to knock on my bedroom door a year from now. * What, your first psycho groupie? Unbelievable :D Don't worry about it. We'll deal with her. Fuckin preem. What should I do, V? Ideas?? * Call the Providence PD. Let them scare her off? Or better yet, put her in a straitjacket? Boooring! 'Sides, cops mean lawyers and I hate dealing with them even more than I hate Kovachek's guts. No worries, I'll think of something else.You're in charge here. * Why not have a bit of fun? Write her back, give her Kovachek's address and say you'll be waiting for her there exactly one year from now :P Hahahaha you beautiful fucking GENIUS! Think I'll do exactly that. He'll shit himself when he sees her! We'll set up a camera and film it, too. Can't wait!Not worth your time. * She probably thinks she's pregnant with Lizzy Wizzy's love child, too. Check if the store has a netpage, see if they ship to NC and get yourself something nice! Smart! I'll see if they have anything worth my while. Get myself a studded choker. Or one of them Russian stacky doll-in-a-doll-in-a-doll things. Thanks, V! Later

Truth or Dare! I'm boooooooored, V. Let's play Truth or Dare! :D * Really don't have time for this, Ker. Cmon, don't be like that. TRUTH or DARE??? * Fuck it. Dare. OK, here it goes. Hope I got your full attention! OKOK here's your dare: "Survive one year with a rockstar" :D * Cheeky ;) Guess I can give it a try ;) * Don't know if I have time for that, Kerry. * Truth! Got nothing to hide. Here it goes: "After a little good morning sex, what I really want is…" * Coffee and cigarettes. Glass of whiskey if I need a little hair of the dog…

* Scrambled eggs. Clearly.

Puzzle by yrs truly V! Made one of them picture riddles for you, V! Wanna see it? :D Fuck yeah you do! Heeeere goes! …69 <3 * Not right now, Kerry. Got some other things on my mind… No worries. Listen, we all have days like this. Thinking of you here with my little puzzle, hope that helps :* * Really, Ker? Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out. Yeah, yeah, just warming up! Okay, get ready for round two! |$| >< #o.O# ;( * Kerry slapped the shit out of Kovachek! * Rockstars are the best spankers! Sorry, all you get is a kiss :* * My man is shit at puzzles :* You got it, you shrewd beast :D Congrats! Your reward - a Kerry Eurodyne sextape! Now all that's left is to shoot it :P I'll send you something sweet <3

Personality test You're not gonna believe this, V. I took one of those personality tests and apparently, I'm a NARCISSIST! Can you believe that shit?? * You, a narcissist? That can't be right. I know, right? Good thing you're smart about these things. You're so sweet, babe :* * Might be some truth to it if I'm REAL honest :) You do… tend to be an arrogant snob. Not to mention your ego's the size of a small planet :* Haha took the test again and now it says I'm a sociopath! Told you it's all bullshit! Told you I'm not a narcissist! Honestly you should listen to me, I'm smarter than whatever "scientist" came up with this shit!

Ah V fuuuck worlds biggest hangover, shakes and willies. Need a kind soul to tell me I'll come out the other side OK :-/ my age be damned ;-| * Textin ya from Dtown, 'hood's the very embodiment of shakes and willies * Got a gig, mebbe not worlds biggest but mondo anyway. This is me needin assurance I'll come out the other end in 1 piece Ever in the thick of shit, eh? It's where your&Johnny's minds meet, both uber vibe on it. JS better be fuckin happy - is he? * Need better candy to pop at raves, physio venting helps, mutes nerves, you'll stride strong, won't bother us workin peeps! Srsly V - soundin like you need time off, ad hoc vacay. U know, throw the monkey off your back, dunno, air your skull sponge. * Could be, just not now Handlin ginormous gig in Dogtown. Elbow deep in it, serious as a heart attack. * That an invite….? ;> Dunno, maybe…? My door's wiiiiiiide open, always ;> * Got this biz I gotta tend to first, one way or another… Oh ok mystery man - you do you. gotta say, findin this diss kinda titillating. Is it the masochist in me? tension's… ooooh, got my mouth watering. * Right, I know. One of these days - surprise! You'll see, be at your front door. Only if I'm home, obvi. You're textin a raucous, go-get-'em busy man… * OOO-K. So get lost, find a release. * Hmm, you're temptin me to call. Will do, given time. Do do do, plz. I'll be waitin <3

OK then I'll play support - we're all gonna all right, better'n all right - golden Which is DEF NOT me now - after a fuckin weird-ass 48 hrs, and this is me talkin…! just straaange… like unbelievably so Ahem, got stories to tell, solid gold * well, yeah, might find it a lil hard to believe… welp, hope you're whole and fine and happy. If you are, suck it. Dissin somebody like this - not nova, choom, supra unpreem * OK spill So dig this - meet-up w the enemy, competing publishing bitchez. Top dogz, bubbly flowin, rails vanishing up noses - all in back of a stretch cuz they out to impress my ass with their asses. Kinda sad, really. Gotta give 'em an e for effort, tho - they say: choom, got a mountain o' eddies for ya. N I say, really - where from? N they say, our mountain's a volcano, it'll spew scratch like lava… Hm i say, how's that? N they say, Zetatech product placement - next tour, choom so I says let's go - Zetatech now! they practically jizz. Zetatech HQ I get out, drop my pants and moon eveybody lookin out the windows of the building while I give the bitchez in the limo the finger at the same time. N i called Delamain.\nDel and me, we rollin, talkin anti-iperialism - any sense in it given the state of the world? Know what? we actually come to a conclusion - that nuthin makes sense anymore. So we go on rollin, and go on talkin and drinnk myself into grief. 18 hours later Del dropped me by my crib. He wished me GOOD LUCK IN THIS WORLD. choom was deep depressed, so much so he gave me a discount * Could've happened to Kerry and Kerry alone, that Plain to see, admit it, I just might be the king of NC's nightlife * vive le roi! and may the consort bask in his light ;> xoxo * hm, yeah, no titles more important than that… BETTER FUCKIN BELIEVE IT. * Oooh could go for a convo about life's futility. But DT takes no prisoners forgives no mistakes - need to focus. salty! somebody's in a m0000d * well, just don't see your parties and hangovers as overly important to me just now, if ever * yeah, sorry, just this gig, shitstorm, tense, lots to handle OK I get it, all crystal. Need a lil cheerin up or just leave you the fuck alone? * may be better off just leavin me alone, I'll ping you later, OK? say no more, luv ya and dreamin daily about your sweet tush <3 Eurodyne out * cheerin up, plz :) OK catch: How ya get a bass player to have that gleam in his eye? Shine a flashlight in his ear. That help any? * yup, did wonders :D thx raise you on the holo later, 'kay? * hm, not great, but I won't hold it against you. cute of you to try ok, so here's somethin to keep you warm at night in the meantime, you sweet precious thing <3

You doing anything? Yo, why haven't you shot me a message or nothin? I'm sitting over here like a dumbass waitin for my phone to start buzzin… * Sorry, Ker! You know how it is, life and shit… I know I know, didn't mean to be a total prick * I was just about to text you! Uh huh… suuuure… * You coulda shot me one too, y'know :P The fuck do you think I'm doin right now?!? So listen, how busy are ya? Gotta admit, I'm gettin the itch real bad. Like, a good itch, to see you I mean. * Sounds great! My megabuilding pad maybe? A megabuilding, huh? I mean, sure, guess that'll work… * Then I'll be waitin for ya at my Northside apartment :) Preem. Then I'll get there when I get there. * Let's meet up in Japantown. Just a hop and a skip for you ;) Perfect! * Can you drive over to the Glen? Love to see you too <3 I can do whatever the fuck I want. * Whaddaya say to a little date downtown? My Corpo Plaza place? Ohhh baby, my ass is already out the door! * I'm free! Wanna swing by Dogtown? You outta your mind? No fucking way! Either we meet in NC proper or I ain't goin out. Don't forget to tidy up a bit, yeah? ;)

Goooood morning, Night City! And you, V! Listen, I'm bored outta my mind. Wanna be bored together at least? You asleep? :P Oh, what's that? You want me to come over? Sure! You're one hot piece of ass, you know that right? You were in my dream last night. A good one. Don't worry, I ain't mad at dream V or nothin - in fact I wanna meet up! I hit a creative block, need some inspiration. I need you. I'm coming over. * Sounds good :) Megabuilding apartment then. Hope you remember which one's mine! On my way! * Genius idea from a genius himself. I'll be waitin for ya in Northside <3 Guess this means I have to change outta my bathrobe. The sacrifices we make! * Japantown. Now. :P Preem! Callin a Delamain right now! * Missed you too. Come to the Glen :) * Sounds like it's time for a trip downtown. My Corpo Plaza pad to be exact * Swing by Dogtown, I'll show you my fixer-upper :P Over my cold, dead, bullet-riddled body! The fuck you even doing there?! Get back to civilization, V! * haha XD so, right now's not good, but don't worry - I'll be thinkin of ya ;) Oh so that's how you wanna play this… nah, just messin, V. wink, wink. I'll catch ya another time!

I like you, V. Thought I owed you a little reminder of that. And hey, not to impose or nothin, but if you wanna spend some more time together, don't be such a coward about it, y'know? Hit me up!! * I like you too, Kerry. I'll let ya know :) Ain't we an adorable fuckin pair of sweethearts! Ha! * No imposing. I'd love to see you again soon too ;) Careful with those boundaries now, V. Let em down too far and I might just move right in! * Course! Soon as I find some time, you'll be the first to know! You honor me, sir! Hang tough out there, V. And remember - don't do anything I wouldn't do!

Hey, Ker! Life's been feelin a lil empty without ya… wanna meet up? So, wanna see me again? Fuck yeah! Your place ok? Heeey! I do, I do! Just… can't right now. Schedule's crammed. But I'll be in touch real soon!

I fucking love surprises! Yo, V, this is a nice ride! Seems like whenever you're on my mind all I can think about is rides ;) * Yeah I know ;) * I love surprising you :) As crazy as my life is, without you it'd be boring as hell <3 Thanks for the flowers! Thank christ they're artificial cuz I'm allergic to pollen. Sneezing, goopy eyes, the whole fuckin thing. Also… "Feedback"? What? Did we hook up at one of my concerts? Honestly I can't remember. * Totally. Speaker feedback fused our audio systems somehow. Made the sex interesting at least. Whaaa, well whatever, I don't need the whole sciency mumbo jumbo :D * You kiddin? How could you forget! Man, what the fuck was I on that night…

Won't see me for a while Gonna need to vanish for a while maybe a month or so. Hope you didn't have any romantic escapades planned and all set up :P Nooo :( Who'm I gonna take to the N54 rave then? :((( * Shiiiit mean to say I'm gonna miss an N54 party? Wanted to surprise you… Real fucking shame :/ I know ;( We'll crash multiple raves when I'm back in town tho :) Promise! * Take someone else feel free but just this once. Long as you promise - no hand holdin' no indecent stuff no INTIMACY mental neither :P Oh please faithful's my middle name :* Fuck really wish you could make it Make it up to you 100%

Long time no see :] There's this merc I know and haven't seen for a while… oh yeah it's you! :D C'mon pick up gotta tell you how wasted me and Slavoy McAllister got at this N54 rave xD Think we might've burnt down half the studio… by accident ofc XDD Hey, V? Pick up, choom Still can't top you 'n' me as a wrecking crew ;) Fuck, you ok? Pick up dammit not funny V 13 missed calls from: Kerry Eurodyne

You ghosting me? Fuck, pick up! Really?! Can't even bother to send ONE word?! Just gonna pretend like nothin happened, huh? COWARD

[jennyfromthebes]

Hey! I wanna talk for a sec about the Live Music Archive. If you're a tMG fan who's on here you probably already at least know about it, but for anyone unfamiliar I want to do a quick post talking about what it is and how you can listen!

The Live Music Archive is a collection hosted by the Internet Archive for audio recordings of concerts. Specifically, the LMA hosts, with permission from the band, user-contributed recordings of concerts. Some fans will go to concerts with recording gear to take a full audio recording of the show and then upload it to the archive under the band's collection. As of writing this post there are almost 450 live tapes uploaded to the tMG LMA collection!

There's a few ways that you can listen to recordings on the Live Music Archive. The webpage works pretty well both on desktop and mobile browsers, and that's what I typically use. You can also listen on web without having to make an account on the Internet Archive, which is convenient for browsing. I also use the webpage to download mp3s of favorite tapes to my phone, so that I can listen to them in my local music player.

However, if you don't mind making a free account and prefer the convenience of something more like Spotify, you can also listen to anything on the LMA via the Taper's Section app for Android or the Live Music Archive app for iOS! (Obligatory disclaimer that I use an Android and can't personally vouch for the iOS app, but afaik they have similar features.) The apps have the same functionality as the webpage in a more streamlined mobile-friendly interface, plus things like notifications when there's a new tape added to a collection you follow and downloading in-app for offline listening. The Android app also has a tab for tapes from today's date, there's often at least one (there are FOUR for today!) and that's a really fun way to find tapes to listen to.

If you're looking at this going, wow, that sounds really cool but there's so many tapes that it's a little overwhelming to get into this, don't worry! I'll leave you with a couple recommendations. As mentioned above, I like to listen to shows from the current date. Another fun way to find shows is looking for a specific song - you can go on the wiki and it'll list every show at which the song has been played live, and then just search until you find one of them that has a tape on the archive. Lastly, a few specific favorite tapes of mine:

- 2014-06-15 has the entirety of Taboo VI: The Homecoming played live + one of my absolute favorite performances of both Woke Up New and The Best Ever Death Metal Band In Denton.

- 2015-06-01 is the only time Straight Six has ever been played live and it's interestingly pretty different from the EP version, plus a phenomenal back to back Spent Gladiator 1 & 2.

- 2021-08-06 was the first show after the band started playing concerts again post 2020, and it has a really incredible energy and a phenomenal setlist.

- 2024-03-01 is from the recent run of solo shows, this one was at Grace Cathedral and the ambience is truly truly incredible, it feels so ethereal.

Please feel free to add any additional notes or some of your own favorite tapes to the post as well! Happy listening!!

[shotmrmiller]

cbf!Price?!?!

You mean your older brother's even older friend?

You'd been born in the US to an American mom and a British dad; but his job moved you all back across the pond. New country, new school, new people--it had been hell for you and your brother. But the family next door were so welcoming, especially their only kid, John.

Who always called you 'sunshine', gave you piggyback rides at rugby matches so you didn't get lost in the crowd, and never said "Hello" but, "There's my favorite girl".

The same cbf!Price who was your scary dog privilege when you fell in love with the underground punk scene and wanted to go to the sketchiest concerts.

When he'd enlisted, you'd cried for days, but couldn't bring yourself to tell him why you were so heartbroken, no matter how many times he asked, brows furrowed with concern. "Its only a couple months, luv, then I'll be on post just down the road. We'll still have our weekends."

And he kept that promise, as much as he could, even after you moved out of your parent's home to attend university.

It was forever on the tip of your tongue; the words you so desperately wanted to say, had to bite back, otherwise they'd destroy that precious friendship....

.... I can only imagine the myriad of unfortunate ways he might accidentally hear you whispering his name and those words....

with my brash personality, im fucking him the day he's to leave for basic. js.

no regrets around here.

--

ohmygod! imagine him being captain now, and he brings you to meet the boys.

Johnny whistles low the moment he lays eyes on you. "Steamin' Jesus, Captain. Tha' yer friend? She single?"

John does not answer him.

Kyle is kind, sweet, and courteous. Suspiciously so. It gives John flashbacks of how he acts towards women he wants to bed.

Right.

Simon's just his big, quiet self. He's intimidating, but you're not afraid—after all, you grew up with your bully older brother and John.

John notices his eyes gleam when you talk at him, yes, at, because Simon doesn't respond. But he listens. And he's been listening a little too intently, staring at your dainty hands gesture animatedly.

That's enough, he thinks.

"Time t'go home, love." You pout but wave goodbye at the boys and head towards his vehicle.

Johnny opens his mouth to speak but John quickly intervenes, that unless he wants to start fucking pushing, keep his thoughts to himself.

"I'll see you all at base tomorrow."

On the ride home, you tell him that they were all very nice. John's grip on the steering wheel tightens and says that as nice as they are, they go through women more than they do magazines.

"Oh." Did he imagine the disappointment laced in your voice?

"Do you?" What?

"I don't do it often."

"Oh." He turns his head to look at you, but you're staring out the window.

His heart races and elation thrums through his veins. You definitely sounded upset. John looks straight ahead and speeds up to take you home.

His home.

There's only you for him, and if you won't take the first step, then he will.

--

side note: what if he didn't return those feelings? christ id eat my fucking phone. im running away!!! no one look at me how embarrassing!!! his eyes soften, and he's like, "Oh. I'm so sorry, love. You and I practically grew up together."

That really stings. And then he brings his little girlfriend over to meet you and your brother, and you stiffly shake her hand and go to your room to cry.

Someone softly knocks on your door, and you don't move to open it, just yell at whoever is at the door to fuck off in a warbly voice. John's muffled I'm sorry deepens the crack in your heart.

"'S'alright, John. I'll be okay."

You did this to yourself, anyway.

The marriage invitation comes in the mail and you tear it to pieces.

Since you were young, you dreamt of being Mrs. Price, but now, that's all it'll ever be.

A childish dream.

[smahell]

leviathan heacanons which, if they did become canon, would deliver us the most amazing obey me nightbringer lesson 61 ever.

ground rules, literally the basis of everything i stand for:

yes he is queer, yes he is plus size, yes he is trans (in what way is up to you, transfem, transmasc, non-binary, agender. phuck he probably uses those cool xenogenders and collects pronouns like pokemon cards /pos)

• i think he'd have autism and BPD. makes sense w/ how sporadic his emotions can be and how they can be either on the extremes or nothing at all (projecting)

• he has facial hair, but it's more gentle stubble on his upper lip and dotted around his jawline because he just forgets to shave, and he just doesn't like the texture and feel of his skin afterwards anyways.

• he likes the IDEA of beaches and beach episodes. he just doesn't like sand, it's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.

• i like to think of his skin as a very slight jaundice yellow??? or just a sort of sandy shade (#d4d18c) for camouflage purposes!!! like camouflaging on stream beds and stuff since he's like a sea monster...

• vitamin d, magnesium AND iron deficiency. triple homicide.

• has multiple phones: "one's for specifically grinder, the other ones for texting everyone, this phone's for texting mc..."

• i think leviathan is the type to simultaneously believe in soulmates, but also regard to any couple he sees with vehement disgust. if he's not in a relationship he'll hate every couple he sees.. maybe he's jealous. or maybe he's being based.

• he SWEARS he's tall, it's just that his posture makes him slouch so bad that he's more mammon's height most of the time

• irrationally scared of back massages.

• probably a babiniku, which is how he gets like half of his income.

• vegetarian!! and doesn't like the taste of humans either. every time he thinks of eating one he think about "well what if i was eating *insert anime character?? they're a human right??"

• still thinks humans are kinda useless in real life but still mentally sensationalizes them as these "cool" beings that always go on adventures.

• his most finely trained sense: touch and smell. it's why he can't go into most malls and some shops; sometimes the smells of perfumes are so overwhelming that he'd rather wait outside.

• his sleep schedule is either a good 11pm to 8am or a horrible 6am to 9am. it'll waiver around depending on what's going on, whether he has cooking duty, if there's a concert of his favorite underground band coming up, whether he has to finish homework, or just general RAD events.

• piercings!! at first he just wanted more ear piercings but then it moved to nose piercings and face ones. his latest one is a dolphin bite piercing which he kinda got impulsively but he doesn't regret it at all (he likes the taste of metal in his mouth!)

• voice claim: kaido shun's voice from "the disastrous life of saiki k" (voiced by Micah Solusod)

• in a fic i read it mentioned levi liking seaweed brownies (made my mammon)??? yeah its a personal headcanon now, it floats in my head like a boat at sea..

• loves LOVES heated blankets, since he''s naturally coldblooded he'll snuggle up to anything he can get

anyways that's it :D @memeowmoth wanted me to share some of mine, and I can definitely come up with more!!!! (edit: spelling mistakes.. i didn't finish one of my sentences for some reason..)

[soundlesswind]

Went to the One OK Rock concert yesterday; which was amazing. One of the best concerts I've ever been to; Taka sang like a fallen angel (highs, and lows---they were all pitch perfect) It's already their 5th or 6th time here, yet I hadn't had a chance until now.

The sound quality and light show by the venue was also really great, I was pretty impressed. Would definitely go again if they used this venue or similar (it was huge and well ventilated). Move-in was also really fast, and they started the concert 19-minutes in which is really quick. You don't gotta line up either (except for general), if you bought assigned seats. The entire band members were fantastic, and they gave us two encores. The showmanship was definitely superb.

Part way through the concert, Taka (in English) was telling a cute story about how they went to a Japanese restaurant the day before. And they usually play rock-paper-scissors where winner has to pay for the entire crew (which Taka jokingly said was BS, since it's usually the other way around---he won of course). But that's when the owner walked out from the back and said the whole thing was on the house. OKR was surprised because it was the first time anyone had ever done this for them, so they invited the restaurant owners to the concert as thanks and put them on the spotlight. Afterwards, Taka enthused to not do this again because the concert was already a one-and-done day... but then his band members (in Japanese) replied that it would probably happen again later now that he said it (laughs), and continued to reply (in Japanese), "yeah we're probably going start more shit tonight". It was already their umpteenth world tour concert by now so I was surprised to hear this was their first time ever. I went with my friend who, this is her 5th time going to their concerts, and so I asked her how it compared to the previous ones she's been to and she said it was definitely their best to date; and she's seen them go from tiny cramped venues to something this spacious and practically full-house.

I've been a very long time fan from when they just started to garner fame but it makes me real happy to see that they've become a household name. Mid-show, Taka pointed the mic to the audience for one song, and they sang a whole verse in Japanese in unison, and honestly my city's population is not that big so I was surprised but also not surprised because everyone here truly are just super fans.

Unrelated, but my phone camera is surprisingly impressive? I caught a lot of footage in real decent light, sound and image quality (it won't be as nice uploaded to the web since it'll be compressed, but here's a short clip of my two favourites).

[quinngefail]

Is Lawrence a “no Adam, we are not keeping the stray cat you found” but then immediately falls in love with the cat type guy. Is he. I need to know

SHAKING

💥 Rambling Beast Incoming 💥 Because I will not lie. I've thought about this a lot LMAO

I am also putting a cut. Because this got to be way longer than anticipated, and also slowly pivots into just being a short fic HRKGMGKGK......

But uh I've imagined that the conversation came up during a late night. They'd been staying together, and just being together for a few months now. They have a lot of conversations that revolve around just asking each other about all sorts of things, getting to know one another more and more. And just being able to freely ask things that certainly weren't important during their six hours in hell. 'Getting to know you's in significantly less stressful environments, basically.

At some point that night, Lawrence asks Adam what some things on his bucket list are. Adam gets a little flustered, and sorta mumbles, "I promise it's nothing that exciting."

But of course, Lawrence wants to hear anyway. Doesn't matter if it's 'I want to have a concert on the moon', or 'I want to find a lucky penny on the subway'. He just wants to hear anything and everything from this man, no matter what Adam's harsh inner voice may repeatedly insist.

So Adam begins to explain one of the biggest things on that list, which is that he's just always wanted a pet. A cat, specifically, as they're his favorite. Because even in a world where his parents could have afforded to take care of one, they wouldn't have anyway. They both just did not care for animals, and weren't exactly hesitant to very bluntly express their disdain for them, in far less kind words. And even if Adam had been existing on his own for about 6-7 years now, he certainly wasn't ever in a comfortable enough financial state to take care of a pet. And he could truly never forgive himself if he was the reason for any amount of harm coming to something that was so innocently dependant on him... The man who had struggled to feed even himself.

So, he had just shoved that idea to the back of his mind. But the longing never stopped, of course.

Once he's finished, Lawrence gives a saddened nod, and offers his sympathetic words. But, there's a few moments of silence before he perks up a bit. Why don't they just get one, then.

Adam blinks a few times in surprise, but he can't keep a little smile from creeping up his face.

"Well, you know I'm not going to say no to that," he responds. "But only if you're really okay with having a little bastard running around your place,"

Lawrence first starts with a dry chuckle. "Oh, I don't think I'm a stranger to that anymore, darling. In fact, I'm rather acquainted with the little hellion I've already welcomed into my home. And you know, I am quite fond of him."

Adam's smile only grows larger, and more crooked, as he rolls his eyes. "Yeah okay, whatever, asshole." But it's only a second or two before their shared laughter fills the bedroom.

"Well, it'll certainly be loved." Lawrence remarks in the lull of their banter. "And completely spoiled."

"Oh, abso-fuckin'-lutely." Adam nods, cracking a cocky smirk. "It'll have no idea that I've been waiting 20 some years for this shit. Poor bastard's in for of some of the most obnoxious, sappy, lovey dovey shit ever. It'll hate us so much."

"Oh yes, nothing but malice towards us. It'll want us both dead." Lawrence smiles back. "Well, we can start looking around for our unlucky candidate tomorrow, if you'd like."

"Fuck yeah," Adam grins, curling both hands into eager fists. Really though, on the inside, he was running rapid, ecstatic laps around his brain.

His ass was not going to be able to sleep tonight.

"...And thank you," he quietly adds, highly masking just how much he wanted to repeat his gratitude again, and again, and again, and again- though, he was sure this masking was to limited success, for the shaking of his hands were at least one thing that currently betrayed him-

"Of course, Adam."

Their hands then find one another, and squeeze... One shaking hand unable to keep itself from squeezing down hard.

~~~

AND THEN...... THERE WERE CATS !! >:3

And they are indeed spoiled rotten and deeply loved by the both of them LMAO

[day6source]

hello my loves 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

it's been.....honestly a bit since i made a big post! october, right before my birthday! i've been super busy with offline (and sometimes even other online) stuff since, so i apologize for neglecting you guys for a bit without notice, even if i was still getting things up! i intended to make more posts like this much more often and ended up not being able to, i'm so sorry y'all!

but! it's almost christmas and the new year! which feels sort of insane! i hope you're all staying cozy (or cool, for southern hemisphere friends), and have some fun plans for the upcoming holidays depending on what you celebrate, but especially the new year! 💕✨

admittedly there aren't tons of updates, the calendar isn't up to date actually on the desktop theme (and the month is almost over so 😬 january's will be, i promise!), but! as i said earlier today, the christmas concert from last night is up here, sungjin's solo concert stream is here, and if you wanna find a little bit of everything, you can find that here. i'm gonna try and actually upload sungjin's songs to the blog here again, the copyright system was really finicky when he released it and prevented it a bit, but i'm determined! so! hopefully it'll be up! but as a reminder if you ever wanna throw the songs on your phone via not a streaming service, you can find things right here! remember you're free to request any unreleased or unofficial songs as well to throw in there and up on here! not sure which ones you guys really want, so just let me know and i'm happy to do it as well as any video content you wanna see, i'm always down to at least hunt.mp3 for it 😉

with the incoming new year, i'm hoping to be able to do more with you guys! i had so many plans i wasn't able to follow through on this year for you all because of offline things, which really sucks, because you guys are so so so important to me! like, we're almost at 500 followers?? which is so crazy to me!! what!!!! i definitely want to do something for all of you coming soon, so keep an eye out (which i've been saying, i know, i'm so so sorry y'all)! i'm also hoping to keep up with you guys via posts like this again more often, i really missed it! i love you all and i'm always so thankful, and i hope to find ways to show that more in 2025!

speaking of, i hope i'll be seeing you next year on tour! i'll be at night two in los angeles, so if you happen to see me, come say hi! i'm pretty stoked considering it's my first time seeing the boys and going to la, so i imagine it's bound to be memorable and so so special 💕 i'll also be seeing stray kids in atlanta (my first time there!), so if you're there, make sure to come say hi!

it's been a super long year, but i hope it treated you with the kindness and love you deserve, and i hope the things that were troubling weren't too damaging 💕 the new year is always a bright, clean start, so if things didn't quite go your way before, i hope you're able to achieve that this coming year and that it's filled with so much happiness and good health and laughter and good music, although i think the boys have that under control 💕

happy holidays and happy new year, i love you guys so so so so much, and thank you for sticking around and not teasing me too much when i definitely reblog the wrong things here (that happened so often this year. oh my god.), and if you're new, thank you for finding this little corner 💕 take care of yourselves and stay happy and healthy, my loves.

love love love,

tay 💕💕💕💕

[ssahotchnerr]

good afternoon my queen 🥰 just want to share that i went to a general admission concert last night & we were standing all the way in the back (which is my fav tbh) & i was just thinking about how disgustingly cute it would be to make out with aaron like teenagers 🤭🤭 the team would be around & they’d notice how young he looks again when he’s with you & i just 🫠❤️🥰🩷

enjoy your day katie ily 🥹🫶🏻

hi my love!!!! that sounds so fun i hope you had the best time!!!!

the dream 🥹🥹🥹 ughhhh just aaron wrapping his arms around your waist from behind, swaying gently with you to the music, littering your neck or jaw with kisses before finalllly just turning you around for full access to your lips <333333 hehe he just feels so content and happy and free with you and he can't hold it in for the life of him <333333

and when the team notices <3333 at first they're all just :O, half tempted to say something and tease the two of you - especially when aaron gets a bitttt (a lot) more handsy 🤭 - BUT when they notice alllll the grumpy frown lines on his face absent, he's smiling into the kiss, they don't dare to interrupt 🥹 they haven't seen aaron so happy in a longggg time and they just love how he's found love again because no one deserves it more <3, and that love happens to be you - and they too love you and believe you're the best thing to ever happen to him 🥹 hehe AND it's that night they start taking bets on how long it'll take him to ask you to marry him 💞💓💞

i'm swooning hehe thank you for the thought ily have a good day!!!🥰

[npookie0]

make a guitarist mc with ronin, pretty please? with a cherry on top!

Serenading the Devil.

"Fuck!" You cursed when your car suddenly died.

This day was definitely one of the shitty day for you. And it all started when your now ex boyfriend texted you that you're kicked out of your band because he found a new partner and they will play on guitar instead of you, You wouldn't be this pissed if you were in the middle of a traffic while on the way to practice with said ex.

Now your car decided to betray you too and you stood in the middle of a unknown city.

"Shit" You got out of the car and decided to look around to see if there was a mechanic around or someone who could check you car. You took only your most important possessions, your phone, keys, headphones, wallet and your electric guitar. Were there more important things than your guitar? For a normal person maybe, but you are a tragic musician so you're definitely out of the norm.

You were walking for a while until you spotted something that looked like a mechanic's workshop. The sound of your combat boot was so loud that even before you called out for anyone, a tall man with style similar to your and plum hair entered the workshop from the back.

"What 're ya looking for?" His voice reached your ears and you saw him wiping his motor oil stained hands into an even dirtier cloth.

"Well, my car died on my way to uh... somewhere. It's not too far from here so would you care to have a look?' Damn you sound like some awkward teenager even in mid twenties.

The mechanic who for some reason wore a beanie with fake horns chuckled at your answer and grabbed something that looked like a big toolbox from one of the tables.

"Guide the way then, rock star." The nickname sounded so out of place after the sudden notice you received this morning but instead of sulking you told him to follow you.

Your way to your car wasn't as silent as you thought it would be, he asked you about the pins on your guitar case and the two of you were discussing the newest songs of your favourite bands.

"Hah, this baby will be alive and well after I'm done with it." He said after he checked what was going on under the car hood. "Care to play me something while i work? Who knows, maybe I'll give you a discount if I like the song." He chuckled, the look he gave you was challenging.

And would you give up on a challenge? Oh course not.

You ended up sitting on the dusty and dirty ground. playing a tune that would sound a hundred times better if your guitar was plugged to a column. You could see the guy tapping in rhythm with your song, a song you wrote some time ago to play on your first ever concert, an idea that was now more foreign than ever.

You played a few more songs, most created by the metal bands you were talking about with the mysterious mechanic.

"it should be as good as ever now." His voice and the sound of the car hood closing caught your attention.

You put your guitar back to its case and stood up.

"So how much do I pay?" You asked, pulling your wallet from your hoodie's pocket.

"It'll be 45$ or 35$ in addition with your name and phone number." He winked at you and you could feel your face heat up.

You gave him the 35$ and put your unlocked phone in his hand.

"You're a flirt, aren't you?" You crossed your arms over your chest while he was typing his number into your phone and then calling himself.

"An annoying one at that." He chuckled and returned your phone to you. "Ronin, huh?' You looked him up and down.

"Yeah, sick name right? And how do they call you darlin'?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Y/N, but for you I can be a rock star." You replied in a little more flirtatious tone. "Thanks for the repair."

Look at you! Serenading the Devil right after a break up.

[bellaturner]

I Wanna Be Yours - pt 2

Contains smut (and some fluff ig?)

Summary: You and Alex reconcile with your brother, Matt, after he accidentally walked in on the two of you kissing.

Warnings: Unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it irl).

3,1k words

Part 1 ✧ Masterlist

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

"What the fuck is going on here?" Matt's voice was filled with disbelief.

Alex's hands were still entwined in your hair, his warm breath dancing across your lips.

Heat surged to your cheeks as you wished for this surreal dream turned into a nightmare to end. Shutting your eyes tight, you hoped for a sudden awakening, yet reality persisted when you opened them, locking gazes with Matt.

"Big bear, let me explain," you approached him, your words barely audible. The pain etched on his face cut deep, knowing you were the cause.

"Don't bother. Bringing you along was a damn mistake." He turned to go, frustration thick in his voice. "I get it, you're in your 'rockstar phase,' but seriously? My fucking sister? Can't believe it." The door slammed shut behind him.

"Shit," you muttered under your breath, rushing towards the door, but Alex's grip halted you.

"Don't," he said firmly, his touch easing from your arm.

"We fucked up, Alex," you admitted, tears streaming down your cheeks.

"It'll be alright, sweetheart," he murmured, his arms enveloping you, his nose nestled atop your head. "I'll talk to him. We'll sort this out," his promise accompanied a tender kiss on your forehead.

The room felt heavy with regret and tension, and you couldn't shake off the guilt that had settled in your chest.

"He's right, Alex," you murmured, your voice trembling. "I should have thought about the consequences before we let things escalate."

Alex's fingers gently brushed against your hair as he held you, his touch a reassuring anchor in the storm of emotions. "We both made a mistake," he admitted softly. "But we'll find a way to make things right."

Tears continued to flow down your cheeks as you clung to him, your heart aching for the pain you had caused your brother and the mess you found yourself in. "I never wanted to hurt him like this," you whispered, your voice laced with remorse.

"I know, babygirl," Alex whispered back, caressing your hair.

With a heavy sigh, you leaned back slightly, looking up at him with teary eyes. "Do you think he'll ever forgive us?"

Alex's gaze softened as he cupped your face, wiping away your tears with his thumbs. "I'll talk to him."

You nodded, taking a deep breath to steady your emotions. "I'll apologize too, Alex. I need him to know how truly sorry I am."

The road trip to the next concert location was somewhat awkward. Nick and Jamie could sense that something was wrong, and it was clear to anyone on the tour bus. Alex spent the whole time pretending to compose something, avoiding eye contact with you and Matt. Your brother had his annoyed poker face on, and your eyes were swollen and red from all the crying.

"So," Jamie started, trying to test the waters, "Do you guys have any plans for tonight?" he asked, his gaze alternating between Alex and Matt.

There was silence, and it seemed like no one wanted to address the elephant in the room.

"I guess we could all go out for a drink," Alex finally murmured, raising his eyes to look at Matt for the first time since the incident.

Matt considered the suggestion for a moment, his expression still tense. "Fine," he replied, his voice tinged with irritation.

The tension in the air was palpable, and it was clear that this was going to be one of those nights where the group dynamic was strained.

After what felt like forever but had only been about four hours, the tour bus finally pulled up at the hotel where you'd be staying for the next couple of days. Matt, who usually helped you get off the bus, left before everyone else.

"Bear," you called after him, but he was already gone.

You sighed and got up, heading down the few steps to leave the bus. Alex reached out to help, but you declined, not wanting to call unnecessary attention to yourselves.

You grabbed your luggage from under the bus and went to the hotel reception to check in. A single tear welled up in your eye; though you could do it yourself, Matt always handled this task. Unfortunately, he was nowhere to be found.

With your room key in hand, you headed absentmindedly to the elevator, with Alex and the band members close behind. You'd all be staying on the same floor.

"YN, is everything alright with Matt?" Nick asked, concerned. Lost in thought, you didn't respond; your mind was elsewhere, and you hadn't even heard his question.

Alex discreetly touched the small of your back, snapping you back to reality. You realized that all eyes were on you.

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I wasn't paying attention," you stammered, feeling your face flush. Nick repeated his question, but fortunately, the elevator stopped just before you had to answer. You simply shrugged and nodded in response, exiting without saying your goodbyes to the band. You figured you'd catch up with them in a few hours, anyway.

Once inside the room, you tossed your stuff around, searching for your favorite jumper – the one that always comforted you when you felt down. Deciding a shower would help you unwind and give Matt some space, you made a silent promise to talk to him later.

As soon as you steppes out of the bathroom, you heard a faint knock. Quickly put on a robe you opened the door cautiously, revealing Alex standing in the corridor, concern etched across his face.

"Hey," he said softly, his eyes searching yours for answers.

"Hey," you replied, your voice tinged with exhaustion.

He stepped inside your room, and you closed the door behind him. He glanced around, running a hand through his hair and taking in the scattered luggage and the aftermath of the emotional storm that had just passed.

"Is everything okay?" he asked, his concern deepening. He knew that you scatter your things around when changing, but the state of your room was like nothing Alex had ever seen before.

You let out a heavy sigh and sank onto the edge of the bed, mimicking him by running a hand through your disheveled hair. "Honestly, Alex, I don't even know anymore. Everything just got so messed up, and I don't want to hurt Matt, but..."

"May I?" Alex asked as he moved closer, pointing toward the spot beside you on the bed.

You nodded, and he took a seat beside you. You rested your head on his shoulder, silence filled the room.

"This is weird, you know," you said faintly, lifting your head to look Alex in the eyes "I've had a crush on you for as long as I can remember."

Al's lips curled into a gentle smile, his accent adding a touch of charm to his words. "Oh darling, you have no clue how many times I've fantasized about you."

His eyes held a mix of desire and affection as he cupped your face, his lips meeting yours in a soft, lingering kiss. The connection between you two was undeniable.

Breaking the kiss, you leaned your forehead against his, your breaths mingling as you tried to make sense of the chaos around you. "Alex, what are we going to do about Matt?"

He let out a sigh, his fingers tracing soothing patterns on your back. "We'll talk to him together. I'll make him understand how much you mean to me."

"Do I mean something to you?" you asked, your voice quivering as you closed your eyes tightly, anxious about his response.

His hands lightly touched your chin, prompting you to raise your head and open your eyes. Alex's gaze held yours, his tone gentle and sincere. "More than you know, YN. You're not just a hook-up. You're someone I care deeply about. I always did, in my own fucked up way."

Tears welled up in your eyes as his words sank in. "I care about you too, Alex. But I don't want to lose my brother over this."

"We won't," he reassured you, his thumb brushing away a tear. He then cast an appreciative gaze over your body, a mischievous smile forming on his lips. "Now, as much as I want to be the one to take that robe off," he said, studying your attire, "You should go get dressed so we can go talk to Matt, and figure this out together."

A faint smile crossed your lips as you let out a soft laugh. You made your way to the bathroom, and a couple of minutes later, you emerged fully dressed.

"You look-" Alex started, but you didn't let him finish.

"Oh, don't even, Al." you exclaimed "I'm upset and I dressed comfortably, not stylishly."

"I know that hoodie," he said with a sad smile on his face "Are you that upset?" he inquired, approaching you with his arms open, hugging you.

You nodded against his chest. You stayed like this for a couple minutes, just listening to Alex's heartbeat and taking deep breaths, his hands holding you tightly.

"Let's go talk to Matt" you said, taking a deep breath.

The short walk to your brother's room felt like an eternity as your heart raced with anticipation and anxiety.

Alex knocked softly on Matt's door, and you both waited in tense silence. After what seemed like an eternity, the door creaked open, revealing Matt standing there, his expression a mix of anger, hurt, and confusion.

"What do you two want?" Matt's voice was sharp, his eyes narrowing as he looked at you and then at Alex.

You took a deep breath, feeling the weight of the situation pressing on your chest. "Matt, we need to talk," you began, your voice steady despite the nervousness that gnawed at you.

Alex chimed in, his accent carrying a soothing tone. "Yeah, mate, we messed up, and we want to make things right."

Matt's gaze shifted between the two of you, his arms folded defensively across his chest. "Make things right? You slept with my sister, Alex. How the hell are you going to make that right?"

"Woah, hold up, Big Bear," you said, raising your hands defensively. "We didn't sleep together," you clarified, making sure to emphasize that point. "Can we come in, Matt, please?" you added, your gaze locked onto his.

Matt stepped aside, allowing you and Alex to enter his room. You both took seats on the sofa near the entrance, ready to continue the conversation.

You glanced at Alex, who gave you an encouraging nod. Taking a deep breath, you began, "Matt, I need you to listen to us, okay? I know what you saw back there was... well, it looked bad, but it's not what you think."

"YN, love, you don't know Alex," Matt began with concern in his voice. "I've been his friend since we were six, okay? And I've been touring with him from the beginning. Only God knows how many hearts he's broken by now."

"Thanks, mate," Alex muttered, earning a side-eye from you that conveyed a clear 'shut up' message.

You spoke up, meeting Matt's gaze. "I've known Alex for just as long as you have, Matt."

Your brother sighed deeply, his brow furrowing in thought. After a moment, he said, "YN, can I have a moment alone with Alex?"

"Yes, sure," you replied, getting out of your seat and walking towards the room. Closing the door behind you, you sat at the edge of your brother's bed, your heart pounding in your chest. The muffled sounds of Alex and Matt's voices arguing made your stomach churn. The fear that Matt might never forgive you invaded your thoughts.

Just when you were about to reach your breaking point, Matt opened the door and asked you to join them.

You entered the room and found Matt and Alex both sitting on the sofa, their expressions tense. It was clear that they had exchanged some heated words during their private conversation. You took a deep breath, ready to face whatever was coming.

Matt glanced at you, his frustration still evident, but he seemed somewhat calmer now. "Look, YN," he began, his tone more composed, "I've had some time to talk with Alex, and we've had a… frank discussion."

Alex nodded in agreement, his usual confidence replaced by a more serious demeanor. "We've hashed things out," he added, giving you a reassuring nod.

You nodded back, relieved that they had talked things through, but still anxious about the outcome. "So, where do we go from here?" you asked, your voice trembling slightly.

"I'm your brother, not your boss or anything, so I can't forbid you from living your life," Matt said with a genuine smile. "And Alex promised me that he'd take good care of you."

Feeling grateful and emotional, you jumped out of your seat and hugged him tightly. "Thank you, Matt," you replied, your voice filled with sincerity. "I promise we'll always be honest with you, and I really appreciate your trust in us."

"You're my little sister, YN. I just want you to be happy," Matt said as he held you. "So," he continued, letting go and getting up with a playful grin, "shall we go out? Jamie and Nick must be waiting."

Matt and Alex exchanged a friendly smile and a hug. "I promise not to hurt her, Matt," Alex reassured him.

"You better," Matt replied, his tone light but firm, "or I'll kill you."

The three of you joined Jamie and Nick, who were sitting in the hotel's lounge area. Their expressions shifted from curiosity to relief as they saw you approach, seemingly in good spirits.

"Everything alright?" Jamie asked cautiously, glancing at each of you.

Matt put his arm around your shoulders and squeezed gently. "Yeah, everything's fine," he assured them with a reassuring smile.

Nick raised an eyebrow, clearly wanting more details but deciding not to press further. "Great. I heard there's a good bar around the corner" he suggested.

"Yeah, that sounds good!" you exclaimed, hugging Alex.

He hugged you back, and you dared to share a quick kiss, which left Jamie and Nick momentarily stunned, unsure of how to react.

When you opened your eyes, you saw Nick passing Jamie a $10 bill.

"Did you dickheads bet on my sister?" Matt exclaimed, a mix of surprise and irritation in his voice.

"Pfff," Alex mocked. "Only 10 bucks?" he joked, earning a playful slap on his arm.

The evening at the bar continued, filled with shared stories, laughter, and even a bit of dancing. You couldn't help but notice how Alex's eyes never left you for long, and every touch and smile exchanged between you felt a dream.

As the hours passed, the atmosphere became more relaxed, and it seemed that the initial tension had completely dissipated. You found yourself enjoying the night, basking in the happiness of the moment.

Eventually, as the clock neared closing time, you all decided it was time to head back to the hotel. The group walked back together, arm in arm. Once you reached the hotel, you exchanged goodnight wishes with everyone and headed to your room. The day had taken an emotional toll on you, and you eagerly anticipated some much-needed rest.

Just as you were about so lay down, you heard a knock. A broad smile graced Alex's face as you opened it. "Tonight turned out better than I could have hoped," he said, enfolding you in a warm embrace.

You snuggled against him, closing the door and finding comfort and contentment in his arms. "Yes, it did," you replied, gazing up at him with a gentle smile. "Thank you for being here, Alex."

He leaned in, his lips meeting yours in a lingering kiss. "Always, princess," he whispered gently against your mouth, "I'll always be here for you." His kiss intensified, evoking a moan from you that left both of you breathless. "I'm going to use your body now, pumpkin," he murmured with desire, his voice filled with lust. He grasped a handful of your hair, revealing your neck, and covered it with passionate, open-mouthed kisses.

"Fuck, Alex," you let out a soft whimper as he trailed kisses down to your breasts, guiding you both towards the bed.

"Do you want me to stop, darling?" he asked, gently pushing you onto the mattress.

"I don't." you replied.

"Good, then shut up and let me please you," he whispered against your skin, his hot breath sending shivers all the way down to your core.

He sucked one of your nipples while playing with the other, making you moan loudly. "Shhh, baby, it's okay," he soothed you, but it only made you want him even more.

It was ridiculous how quickly Alex could build you up. He had barely touched you and you were already pooling in your panties for him. "Alex, I need you to fuck me, please," you begged him.

He promptly got up and removed his clothes, while you took your pants off. The sight of him naked was enough to bring you to the edge, and you definitely felt like jumping.

He stroked himself lightly, making you exhale in anticipation. "Alex, can i suck you, please?" you asked shyly, feeling your face turn red.

"Oh, babydoll, as much as I want it, I'm about to explode and I want to do so inside you little cunt," he said in a voice so erotic it melted you. He placed himself on top of you and without a warning he completely filled you up, eliciting a loud moan.

"Oh fuck, Al," your voice was light and breathy, and your vision was filled with stars. He picked up his pace, reaching of G-spot over and over again. "Shit, Alex, slow down, I'm don't want to come just yet," You could feel the sweet release of an orgasm approaching, but you wanted to savor the moment a little more.

"I'm right there with you, pup," he muttered. "Come for me, baby," he asked and you have no choice but to give him what he wanted. His lips crashed against yours as you enjoyed the high, his following shortly after.

Alex sprawled out on top of you, both of you breathing heavily and working to catch your breath after the intense moment you'd just shared.

"I can't believe we've never done that before," Alex whispered between breaths, and a soft chuckle escaped your lips in response.

The last thing you recall is Alex's fingers tracing soothing patterns on your back, and his steady heartbeat beneath your ear offering a comforting rhythm. Shortly after, you both drifted into peaceful sleep, and you couldn't remember the last time you felt so happy.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

AFTER ALMOST THREE MONTHS, IT'S FINALLY HERE!!!!

I promise you I'm trying my bestto write fics, but it's med school admission test season and I'm just so stressed with it 😩

BUT, iwby part 2 is finally here and I wanted to thank @malina-33 for the amazing suggestions, I hope you enjoy it, Mal 💕

Oh, this is not proof read (and I'm pretty drunk right now) so please excuse any grammar mistakes and typos (I'm the queen of typos even when I'm sober fml).

Anyways, thanks for reading💕💕

~ Bella

[rpfshippingpolls]

⚠️ DON’T START DISCOURSE ABOUT RPF IN THE NOTES!! YOU WILL BE BLOCKED IF YOU DO SO ⚠️

Do you ship it?

Reason:

“I have an entire powerpoint presentation on them but I don't think it'll fit here. In short, they are attached to each other's hips. Here are some notable moments; 1. Brian was the first person Rivers told when he was about to go off to Harvard during the Blue Album tour. 2. Brian has called Rivers cute/adorable multiple times (that one Green era concert where you can hear Brian saying Rivers looks so cute off camera and that one IG story where the two of them went to a Taylor Swift concert and Brian took a picture of Rivers and called him adorable). 3. Speaking of going to concerts together, they go on multiple dates together (the Taylor Swift concert, SpaceX, Broadway, football shows, etc). 4. They both share similar interests like old sci-fi shows and theatres. 5. When Rivers held "Nerd Nights" (event where he invites fans to watch stageplays), Brian showed up to the 11th Nerd Night which also happens to fall on Rivers' birthday and he is the only other weezer to ever show up to a Nerd Night. 6. During the Scott & Rivers era, Brian was the only weezer to ever play with them as he randomly showed up one day to Japan during one of their live shows. 7. They play It Takes Two together, that game is literally made for couples. 8. Brian is the weezer member to appear the most in Rivers' instagram feed. 9. Rivers calls Brian by "Bri" and "Brian-Chan". 10. Many unreleased songs where it's Just Them like Al's Bar and Hawthorne. 11. Rivers' deleted tweet "Going snowhiking with my wife and Brian". 12. Whatever the fuck they did on Weezer's Vice Music Corner. There's more but it's currently 3 am and that's all I got lol”

“rivers cuomo is for real a bisexual man in real life

Submitted by @spacestation-l7 and one other