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jeon jungkook fic rec list (Ⅺ)
hi everyone i am back and boy has there been some amazing fics posted while i was away it's awaken that spark in me again and this list is honestly packed, i went over like 60 fics for this one and i even added some of my ult. faves. the ones i have to mention again because they are just so amazing, trust me you will be going back for more over and over again too. you might notice some fics from ao3 and wattpad included as well they are hold a special place in my heart, they are masterpieces that need to be shared with you guys so please enjoy this new list and give all the authors mentioned all the love and respect they deserve seriously they work so hard on creating these beautiful fics and they deserve all the attention and gratitude we can offer them so please share your love through a like, comment and reblog them so they can feel the love and more people can find their masterlists and accounts because they have some really good fics there as well. I just wanna send an honourable mention to every single writer i have added to this list without you i would not have so much happiness when i come on this app and you have filled my heart and countless others with so much joy and happiness we appreciate you more than you will ever know and you make being here 10 times better your stories help us through alot and puts smiles on our faces and we get to spend time with a community of people who love what we love and we get to interact because of your ideas and it creates such an amazing experience so thank you for everything that you do the worlds you create and the ideas you come up and for sharing it all with us i adore you so much and you are just the best so once again thank you for everything and i look forward to what so many of you have planned - kiki ♡
NO MINORS ALLOWED PLEASE DON'T INTERACT!
happy reading everyone i hope you enjoy this extra long list of my faves and please remember to be happy and keep on smiling and interact if you want i love hearing from you guys and if you want you can send me a few of your faves 🥹🖤✨
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f - fluff s-smut a - angst
series
lines of fate by @kookiestarlight s a exes au zombie apocalypses tattooist jk
⋆ the last thing Jungkook ever imagined was an outbreak that turned the dead into the living. But even more unexpected is seeing you—an ex he’s known nothing about in the past four years—with a small child who bears a striking resemblance to himself. As Jungkook grapples with the shock and the city spirals into chaos, the two of you are thrust back together, forced to confront unresolved feelings, long-buried truths, and the horrors of the deadly virus taking over.
lost stars by @hueseok f a roommates e2l slow burn college au (33.2k)
⋆ the last person you’d expect to be there for you is your roommate, jeongguk, on the night you break up with your cheating boyfriend; because as far as you’re concerned, the both of you aren’t exactly friends, and he definitely shouldn’t be running to get you upon hearing you sob via phone call.so when he does, you begin thinking that maybe you’ve just been hard on him over the years, or perhaps he just liked pretending to be an annoying shit most of the time. either way, it becomes the beginning of an unexpected friendship finally blossoming.
a lovers kiss by @/hueseok f s a fwb i2l college au (55.6k)
⋆ a friends with benefits relationship never ends on a good note. unless, both parties are not dumb fucks who find themselves falling for each other along the way of their agreement, of course. and in yours and jeongguk’s case, you should have known better than to think the two of you would be an exception to the so-called curse of being friends with benefits with someone you already hold dear to you, since not even five months since it was agreed upon—the line between being only friends and being a little like lovers only continue to get hazier and hazier.
hell is empty by @aquagustd f s a ft.kth love triangle dadJK exJK CEO kth (164.4k)
⋆ life has a tendency to throw things your way when you least expect it, when you’re content, and the ominous presence knows exactly how to steer your existence back into the darkness.
to the stars by arckook (ao3) a zombie apocalypse (94.6k)
⋆ It was always you, and Jimin, and your best friend Jihyun. But fate, regardless of whether you believed in it or not, had other plans for you. Jimin told you once, "It's a tough road to the stars." Nowadays it was hard to believe the stars were somewhere you could reach.
moirai by norabean (ao3) f s a soulmates slow burn (95.2k)
⋆ On your 18th birthday a name appears on your wrist. The name of your soulmate. It’s a momentous day that everyone looks forward to, but you’ve always brushed aside; refusing to believe in a fickle mistress called destiny. But what happens when on the morning of your 18th birthday you wake to find the name of your mortal enemy? Jeon Jungkook.
from home by @yuzukult f s a e2l richkid jk fakedating au (89.5k)
⋆ a rich kid who gets cut off from family money meets an average post-grad girl who may be the key to getting him back on his parents’ good side.
and they were roommates by @hoseok666 f s a ft. kth e2l love triangle tsundere jk s2l (103.k+)
⋆ it all started with a rejection from your longtime crush, jeon jungkook. you decided to confess to him on your last day of high school. after a harsh rejection and a rough summer dealing with the heartbreak, you were starting anew once your freshman year of college came. you were going to be sharing an apartment with two other roommates that you don’t even know. what a surprise you’re going to be in for once you find out it’s the one and only: jeon jungkook and kim taehyung.
future hearts by @jungblue f s a ft. pjm punk jikook s2l band au f2l lost love (114.6k)
⋆ It was everything, from his tattoos, to his touches, to the way sweat rolled down his neck as he strummed into his guitar on stage; everything about him completely enthralled you. So why are you now, two and a half years later, on a train to Seoul, telling a complete stranger the recollection of how you became fated to forever have scars on all of your future hearts due to the happiness, but most of all the pain, that came along with falling in love with Jeon Jungkook.
mind games by @yerion f a tsundere jk roommates au (31.8k)
⋆ jungkook drives you to think strict criticism isn’t too bad, purely because you didn’t expect things to turn a bit steamier than intended. as the one and only female esports player, misery was at your fingertip when your skills suddenly deteriorated. however, the stoic leader of your team—jungkook, simply couldn’t sit back. he puts you back on track, yet no one told you sparks would fly; and the crazy fact that it’s inevitable
heartbeat by @xbaepsae s a ft myg unrequited love (24.9k)
⋆ “You fell in love with a boy who was in love with music, and you weren’t sure if he was capable of loving you the same way. This thought should’ve caused you to move away from him; but, if anything, it just drew you closer.“
one year, my love by @hayjeon f s a historical/royal au 100 days my prince kdrama (31k)
⋆ You forge a marriage contract with the strangely speaking man who suddenly stumbled into your town with memory loss, but little do you know that he’s actually the lost Crown Prince, and a lot can happen between a married man and woman in one year.
the love prognosis by @awrkive f s a medical au roommates f2l (90.7k)
⋆ for as long as you can remember, you've always been a hopeless romantic. the girl who’s always dreamt of cheesy encounters with her soulmate, grand love declarations, and a cute little beach wedding to boot. but reality pretty much slaps you hard right on the face, because love, unfortunately, doesn’t come grand — it’s simple and it’s quiet, but it is quite painful, especially when the love that you’ve been seeking for all your adult life has just been right under your nose all this time.
ever a never after by @yoonia s ft. ksj enchanted au (51.8+k)
⋆ Some say fate can be a cruel thing. Yet you never knew how true it was until fate played a hand in your bad luck. Merely moments before your happily ever after, you are suddenly sent out to a weird place. A different world. You wonder if this is a test from fate to see if you are truly deserving of your happy ending, or if perhaps fate wants to show you something else. Something that fate wishes you to learn before you can finally move on to take the next step towards your happiness.
between takes by @jeonstudios f s a fluffer au porn star au (74.6k)
⋆ as a fluffer for a popular porn star, your focus is to keep him hard and performing on set. turns out he's not the only thing that's hard
Shatter With Me by @colormepurplex2 f s a surrogate au best friends husband (46.4k)
⋆ Your best friend, Jiyoon, and her husband, Jungkook, have faced years of hardship trying to start a family. In a last-ditch effort to have their dream life, they seek solace in surrogacy. Wanting to see your best friend smile, you offer to become the bright beacon at the end of the tunnel, giving them what they have always wanted. But what happens when you begin to shine your light on their darkness? Things aren’t always as they seem—happiness can be a façade, shattering under the lightest pressure.
Chasing Cars by @oddinary4bts f s a college au brother best friend forbidden love (218.5k)
⋆ when your brother goes to study on a semester abroad, your life collides with his best friend Jeon Jungkook, who's coincidentally your roommate. Will you survive the collision, or will you crumble into dust?
hold me close by @ahundredtimesover f s a brother best friend (41.8k)
⋆ When you're asked to look after your parents' house and meet them before they go on vacation, you, Jimin, and Jungkook take the trip to your hometown of Busan and relive memories of your youth. While your new relationship has you feeling like a lovesick teenager with all the affection that Jungkook shows you, you're still you - a professional trying to make it in the corporate world, and an eldest child trying not to disappoint her parents. And that turns out to be your undoing, as a little blunder causes a rift between you and Jungkook, resulting in a trip that you might as well have messed up… Not if your brother can help it, though
sugar high by @yeojaa f a idol au childhood best friends unrequited love (33.3k)
⋆ You thought you’d known real love and maybe you had - it just wasn’t with who you thought.
the law of attraction by @jexnkookie f s a lawyer jk girl of his dreams (26.9k)
⋆ Throughout his life, Jung Kook has only ever loved one girl. Despite her being out of his league and of an elite class that he wasn't born into, he fell hard, keeping his feelings a closely guarded secret. When they parted ways, and Jung Kook pursued his law career, he did so with the intent of moving on. But when she unexpectedly arrives back into his life, Jung Kook finds himself once again face to face with his own insecurities, and the girl of his dreams.
love bug by @here4kpopfics f s a established relationship (30.4k)
⋆ A collection of stories and drabbles with my comfort couple Jungkook and Love Bug as I affectionally call her. They were my first couple to write in over a decade and I hold them very close to my heart.
sh by @wwilloww f s a ot7 f2l (118k)
⋆ Six months of quarantine have kept you apart. Somehow the distance sparks something new in each of you: questions, unfinished conversations, threads once chased now left cold. So when your roommate invites you to come with him to a mysterious house in the mountains with your friends, how could you even think of saying no?
bloodlines entwined by @spideyjimin f s a s2l soulmates werewolf au royalty au (30.8+)
⋆ having a baby alone was supposed to be easy. but an accidental twist of fate pulled you into a hidden world of werewolves, and ancient bloodlines. navigating your already complicated life becomes even harder as you uncover your past; one tied to a legacy you never knew existed. and in the middle of this chaos stands jungkook, the werewolf king… and the father of your child.
jump then fall (into you) by @writtenwhalien f s a bf2l fake dating (52k)
⋆ bringing Jungkook along as your date to your ex’s lavish cruise wedding seemed like a perfect idea at first — all of your family and close friends together, nothing can go wrong… then Jungkook’s ex shows up and all of a sudden you’re in a years long relationship with him. You don’t mind though, really, how hard can sharing a cabin and pretending to be deeply in love with your best friend really be?
not in that way by @girlygguk f s a ft. myg unrequited love bf2l (30k)
⋆ in which you're hopelessly in love with your best friend, min yoongi. meanwhile, your other best friend, jeon jungkook, is hopelessly in love with you.
live through this by @starshapedkookie f s a band au exes to frenemies to lovers (46.5k)
⋆ A record deal. The one thing Violet needed to become the next big rockstars. As the front-woman to the band, life couldn’t have been any easier for you. That is until a devastating life event changes everything for you, leaving you heartbroken and in a downward spiral you can’t get out of. With your biggest competitor, Whailen 52 on your heels, your bandmates worried about the future, and your ex Jeon Jungkook being your only solace; you weren’t sure if you were going to live through this to see your dreams come to fruition.
a story that we paint by @thedefinitionofbts f a ft.kth college au scifi au (25k)
⋆ in which the lines between virtual and reality are blurred.
crimson park by heartbeatan f s a e2l crime au(159.6k)
angel in the darkness by @icyhobi s a mafia au prostitution au
⋆ after a patient urgently pleads you to go and help a friend of his, you naively agree to it. little did you know, that you would get more than what you agreed to, when he leads you to a brothel, to help a dangerous prostitute named jeon jungkook.
one night stand by @buryhny f s a ceo au e2l (382k)
⋆ as if the unexpected twist of a one-night stand turning out to be your CEO boss wasn't surreal enough, the situation takes a more challenging turn when both of you discover that you're expecting his child.
the alpha omega series by @borathae f s a childhood best friends to enemies to lovers werewolf au (40.8k)
⋆ Jungkook is the son of the pack Alpha and therefore heir of the titel. You are an omega and utterly out of his league. This is the story of how, against all odds, you and he became true mates.
4-7-8 by @jiminrings a marriage au (73k+)
⋆ you’re secure when it comes to loving jungkook, knowing that your husband loves you beyond words. what you aren’t so secure about is his first love — someone who isn’t you. alternatively, jungkook’s married to you, but he still celebrates his anniversary with his ex out of sentimentality.
netflix & chill by @1kook f s blindate collge au (113.7+)
⋆ If you planned things right, you could rain down your raging displeasure on Jeon Jungkook right after the meal but before this proposed ‘Netflix and chilling,’ maybe dramatically throw your glass of wine at him, before storming out of his place and reporting him to the authorities (Namjoon) for his douchebag personality.
the bad blind date by ravsisrekt f s a idol au f2l (wattpad)
⋆ Being set up on a date is hard as it is. But being set up on a date where the boy you're with loves your best friend is even harder-and trust me, being bubbly, cute, and incredibly hilarious doesn't work on him either…but on the other members it certainly does.
sns by narcotichobi f s a idol au s2l (wattpad)
⋆ Jae is a twenty-one year old Korean-American university student whose life is just ordinary. Struggling through the confines of cultural differences between her lifestyle and ethnicity, Jae finds herself through social media outlets and the integration of k-pop into her American life. Jungkook is a twenty year old singer, dancer and producer of the Korean-Pop idol group, BTS (방탄소년단). He works over twelve hours a day and has almost every second of his life circulating around social media. Jungkook, with newly found dating privileges, is slow to trust another person with his personal life and thoughts. Follow Jae and Jungkook through a love-story heavily motivated by social media and press
40 weeks by magicalmochii f s a teeange pregnancy f2l (wattpad)
⋆ They didn't want to be virgins when they graduated. Two friends agree to let go of their innocence together, no strings attached. Life had other plans.
unconditionally by magicalmochii f s a parents au (wattpad) sequel to 40 weeks
⋆ They survived high school and overcame the obstacles that tried to break them apart. Together they adapt to college life and work, all while caring for their new baby. Now, two friends turned lovers prepare for their wedding. Life had other plans. The continuation of 40 Weeks. Bring tissues.
blood ink by pocketbangtan f s a gang au tattoo artist jk (wattpad)
⋆ "That's my tattoo, Y/N, on your body. You know exactly what that means."
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one shot
wait for your love by @/spideyjimin f s a exes2lovers parents (17.3k)
⋆ sixteen years ago, your life was turned upside down when you surrendered to the temptation — none other than jungkook, the star basketball player on your school’s team. today, after all that time, you reunite under tragic circumstances; a car crash where he saves your life.
Inkling by @gguksgalaxy s a f2l tattoo artist jk (17.7k)
⋆Jungkook is your brother’s boyfriend’s co-worker, they own a tattoo and piercing parlour. In other words, he’s tall, gorgeous, has his passion literally etched into his skin, looks incredibly good in a man-bun, and is semi-unattainable for you. Why? Well…you’re not entirely sure but him ditching right after a very heated make-out session sure isn’t a good sign. His extremely poor mood the next week sure isn’t either, but the only way to fix it is to face the beast head-on. Right?
in this paradise by @ressjeon f s a s2l survivor au (16.3k)
⋆ in an attempt to escape what’s been planned for him, Jungkook hopped on a ship only to face a tragedy that he didn’t expect and then there’s you who somehow couldn’t believe to find company in this isolated land. was this fate or was this just a temporary chance of bliss as a challenge for you both?
sleepover by @personasintro f s best friends brother (10.4k)
⋆ Jungkook is your best friend’s little brother who invites you to have a sleepover at his place. Nothing can happen, right?
bottle up old love by @wintaerbaer f s a exes to lovers (4.6k)
⋆ Jungkook may have broken up with you a year ago, but that's not going to stop him from coming to your rescue when he sees you being cornered by a creep.
the devil’s change up by @/jungblue f s a coach au (41.3k)
⋆ Majoring in athletic training means you have mandatory observation hours to perform with every single sports team at your school throughout the year, and so far it’s been going pretty great. However, when regrets from your past cause your rotation with the baseball team to become a little rocky, there’s one star pitcher who says that he can make it all better.
entertainer by @taegularities f s a s2l (32.4k)
⋆ Growing singer Jeon Jungkook is as charismatic as he is self-absored – that is, until he meets you. Caught in a web of secrets, he finds a riddle in you he urges to solve; even ready to turn the spotlight towards you until nothing remains… but regret.
habits of a clandestine nature by @alphabetboyluvr s a college au rich jk e2l (16k)
explorer by @/1kook f s alien au s2f2l (17.8k)
⋆ Jungkook does not want to impress the frankly tyrannical ways of his planet on you. He just wants to stay here and keep your couch warm for you, hold your hair back when you wash your face in the morning.
million dollar darling by @kooktrash f s a e2f2l crazy rixh asians inspired (19.7k)
⋆ jeon jungkook is well aware of how privileged he is to have been born into the life he was given. it was glamorous and influential yet close-knit and suffocating, something he thought he wanted to escape from. a trip back home to the circle of wealth and snottiness for his best friend’s million dollar wedding has reminded him of all the reasons why he wanted to leave in the first place… and all the reasons he should stay — the main one being you, the spoiled rich girl he knew was utterly perfect for him.
little surfer girl by @ppersonna f s a summer love suferjk (9.8k)
⋆ every summer you watched jeon jungkook turn into a perfect, professional surfer. every summer, you wanted him more. this summer, you were determined to make him yours.
the whole of your heart by @lcksndkys f s a husband au band au (8k)
⋆ Save a drum, bang a drummer.
sketch by @moonscriptsx f s soulmate au artist jk (9.6k)
⋆ After sixteen years of dreaming about the same unknown beautiful girl, Jungkook finally gets to put a name to the face — and she's so much more than what he's dreamt of
strings attached (to my heart) by @jungkoode f s spiderkook college au (11.8k)
⋆ You were a journalist at Yonsei University when you started noticing the strange coincidences between your favorite bumbling freshman and Seoul's newest superhero. The way Spider-Man's voice cracks on 'noona' exactly like Jungkook's does. The way they both bring you the same snacks, have the same nervous energy, the same tendency to ramble when flustered. You tell yourself it's just a coincidence, because the alternative means admitting something you're absolutely not ready to deal with.
it was always you by @/hueseok f s a childhood best friends to lovers (13.2k)
⋆ for as long as you remember, you’ve always had the fattest crush on your childhood friend, jeon jungkook. it never blossomed into something more though, because that’s what happens when life naturally takes it course—you grow up, you move on, and you pretend that those feelings never existed in order to maintain the good friendship that remained between the two of you over the years.so when he visits you after work one day, asking you to marry him, you do everything you can to refuse, because the reason he’s asking you isn’t due to the fact that he finally realized that he loved you after all this time, but because he thinks he’s doing you a big favor.or at least, that’s what you think.
mio angelo by @/hueseok f s a mafia au established relationship (33.3k)
⋆ it’s no secret to the whole nation how powerful the jeon family was. the efforts of the highly respected don jungsoo was the reason why the name of their clan continues to be a name that people thought greatly of and sometimes even feared. despite your father working alongside with the don, you never truly understood what the family possessed to earn them such acclaim; that is until you got closer to one of his grandsons, jeon jeongguk, that you caught a glimpse of how much power they truly seized as you see it first hand and become a part of it yourself. inspired by the godfather and vincenzo
ultimatum by @parkmuse f s spiderkook (10.3k)
⋆ Your pervy, idiotic boyfriend just so happens to also be your friendly neighborhood Spider-man (in bed).
melomaniac by @jungkxook f s a band au f2l (13k)
⋆ you’re wholeheartedly, madly in love with jungkook and yet you shouldn’t be because he’s supposed to be your best friend and nothing more. worst part of it all is that you know he’s in love with you too.
Navigating Tides by @jjungkookislife f s a exes2lovers (18.9k)
⋆ A cruise is the last place you expect to see your ex-boyfriend, Jeon Jungkook. You broke up six months ago, and your best friends Jimin and Yoongi assured you your ex wouldn't even remember this cruise that you booked a year in advance. However, on your first night on board, you discover your ex isn't only on the cruise ship, but there are no rooms available for him to stay in other than yours.
will it fit? by @jeonsweetpea f s idiots2lovers roommate au (6.7K)
⋆ So what if your roommate caught you masturbating? At least he forgot about it the next day. But he can’t exactly forget the big dildo you left in your shared bathroom…
pull me down by @starryeyedkoo f a badboy gang college au (22.9k)
⋆ “Do you regret it?” “What?” “Falling in love with me? It feels like I only weigh you down.” “I’ll let you pull me down to the depths of hell if that’s what it means to love you.”
espresso by @joonberriess f s a boxer jk idol oc (14.6k)
⋆ a rowdy boxer and the pretty it-girl he bagged by being him. jungkook’s doing anything to prove he’s serious, even if it means making a fool outta himself.
changes in between by @/taegularities f s a roommates s2f2l (24.7k)
⋆ Becoming the roommate of Jeon Jungkook is the biggest change you’ve ever gotten thrown into - but little do you know that the addition of another man will bring even further turbulence into your (love) life.
not my fault by @/taegularities f s college au classmates 2 lovers (12.6k)
⋆ After sparking a sinful conversation on a dating app, you vow to yourself that you won’t give in to more the notorious college fuckboy Jeon Jungkook might have to offer. That is, until he rings your doorbell just one night later – and it’s truly not your fault that he’s so damn hard to resist.
the secret beneath our stars by @subvk s a college au f2l (13.1k)
⋆ Falling in love with Jeon Jungkook was everything you’ve ever dreamed of and more, but maybe it was exactly that: a dream so blissful and comforting that it was too good to be true, something that could all disappear when the night changes to day, and your eyes open again. Or, making a marriage pact with your best friend was supposed to instill a sense of hope for you, so why does this hurt you more than it should?
mature by @/jiminrings f a pining f2l (8k)
⋆ alternatively, crushing on jungkook who's in your friend group is, has, and will never be a good idea.
movie goers by @mi55delulu f s a e2f2l (16.4k)
⋆ starting off on the wrong foot with your new neighbor was not on the top of your bucket list, yet you’ve made an enemy of jeon jungkook in less than 24 hours. unlucky for you, he’s not backing down either.
hopless hearts by @cupofteaguk f idol au s2l (17k)
⋆ you never understood the gravity of your position as an intern working Kcon until you fall for one of your favorite idols, Jeon Jungkook—quite literally too.
dissonance by @/yuzukult f s a rockstar jk student oc (19.4k)
⋆ something that first seems out of reach becomes a reality for him. screaming adoring fans, billboards with him and his band plastered on it, and touring across the globe with venues sold out. he has everything… but all he’s missing is you.
this is how we break by @ahundredtimesover f s a exes au (20.6k)
⋆ There are things you prepared for coming back home and that includes seeing your ex-boyfriend, but helping him design his apartment isn’t one of them. From meetings over coffee and lunches with your friends, you both learn more about the time in-between, and what you find out leave you heartbroken, wondering if there’s enough of you left to try to get back what you’d lost.
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↬looking for other jjk fics or the other members check out my library
#kiki!fic!rec#moon's recs#jungkook#jungkook:oneshot#jungkook:series#favourites!jjk#jungkook:smut#jungkook:fluff#jungkook:angst#bts fanfiction#bts fanfic#jungkook smut#jungkook fanfiction#jungkook angst#jeon jungkook#jungkook fluff#jungkook series#bts jungkook#jungkook x reader#jungkook scenario#jungkook wattpad#jungkook ao3#jeon jungkook angst#jeon jungkook imagine#jungkook au#jeon jungkook x reader#jjk#jungkook fanfic#jungkook fic#jeon jungkook smut
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IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU - CH.5
Chapter Five: As If The Street Lights Pointed In An Arrowhead Leading Us Home
Summary: You find yourself sharing a hotel suite with Pedro Pascal while working on the set of Fantastic Four: First Steps. Despite your different roles—he’s the star, and you’re behind the scenes. Nothing could ever happen between you two… right?
Paring: Pedro Pascal x F!Reader
Warnings: Age-Gap Romance (Not Specified), Eventual SMUT, Crush, FLUFF, Slight Angst, Trope(s), Swearing, Anxiety, Lots of Cliches, Cheesy Dialogue, Romance, Kissing, Real People Fiction, Cameras, Paparazzi, Social Media, Swoonworthy, One-Room Trope, They were roommates, Strangers-to-Lovers, Actors, Hallmark Tropes, the reader can sing and play guitar, the reader is shorter than Pedro, the reader has hair, Alternate Universe, Awkward!Reader, Shy!Reader, Fan Girl!Reader, Cringe, Embarrassment, Starstruck,
Word Count: 6.5k
A/N: Sorry for the wait on this chapter! I was busy writing chapter one of my Richard Reeds fanfic, and my brain went into overdrive. Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter, and my thoughts and writing process will be in the end notes below! Take care out there.
Side note: I’m dyslexic and English isn’t my first language! So I apologize in advance for the spelling and/or grammatical errors. As always, reblogs, comments, and likes are always appreciated. Thank you and happy reading!
Song: Cornelia Street by Taylor Swift
Previous Chapter → Next Chapter | Series Masterlist |Main Masterlist|
CHILTERN FIREHOUSE HOTEL — MORNING
It was the weekend.
A rare, golden thing in the middle of a chaotic schedule. Sometimes, productions pushed through weekends, forcing actors and crew alike to run on fumes and caffeine, but this week, you’d been given the luxury of a proper break.
So you did the only logical thing: you slept in.
No alarms. No early call times. No frantic scrambling to get out the door before the sun had even fully risen. Just the quiet hush of your hotel room, the soft cocoon of blankets, and the gentle hum of the city beyond your window.
Pedro, on the other hand, was not sleeping in.
He was downstairs earlier, enjoying breakfast with some of the crew, chatting between bites of eggs and toast. But when he realized he hadn’t seen you—not even a glimpse—something tugged at his chest.
He checked his phone. No messages from you.
Not that you had to text him, obviously. But still.
“Maybe she’s still asleep,” Vanessa mused when he brought it up, sipping her coffee.
Coco smirked. “Or avoiding you.”
Pedro shot her a look, unimpressed. “You’re hilarious.”
Joseph, ever the instigator, leaned in. “You do realize how weirdly invested you are in this, right?”
Pedro ignored them, pushing back his chair. “I’m gonna go check on her.”
“OoOoOo, someone’s worried,” Ebon teased, grinning.
Pedro just flipped them off over his shoulder as he walked away.
Your side of the room was quiet when he got there.
Pedro knocked.
Nothing.
He frowned and knocked again, a little louder this time. “Hey, you alive in there?”
Still nothing.
His concern deepened. He knew you’d been exhausted lately, emotionally drained from the whole Cecilia situation. And yeah, maybe you were just catching up on sleep, but what if you weren’t feeling well? What if—
He shook his head, pushing the thought away.
A quick check with the front desk confirmed they had given you a key for emergencies. That was all the justification he needed.
Carefully, Pedro let himself in.
The room was dim, curtains drawn just enough to let in a sliver of London’s muted morning light. And there you were, curled up under a mountain of blankets, dead to the world.
Snoring.
Pedro exhaled, the tension in his chest dissolving as a slow, amused smile tugged at his lips.
He took a step closer, just enough to take in the peaceful rise and fall of your shoulders, the way your hair was a little all over the place. A soft snore left your lips, making him chuckle under his breath.
God, you were adorable.
For a brief moment, he debated waking you. Teasing you for sleeping through breakfast, maybe even convincing you to come downstairs with him.
But then you shifted, letting out the softest sigh as you burrowed deeper into the pillows, and—yeah. No. He couldn’t wake you.
Instead, he leaned against the doorway, arms crossed, just watching for a little longer.
He’d give you another hour.
Maybe two.
And then, well—if you didn’t wake up soon, he’d have to find a way to lure you out with the promise of coffee or something just as tempting.
CHILTERN FIREHOUSE HOTEL — LATE MORNING
The late morning light filtered through the curtains, casting a golden glow over the room. Pedro had been patient—he really had—but after standing around for a while, listening to your soft snoring, he decided you needed to eat something.
So he had slipped downstairs, grabbed a plate of fresh fruit, some pastries, and a glass of juice, and set everything neatly on the kitchenette counter before making his way back to your bedside.
The problem?
You were not a morning person.
Pedro bit back a grin as you stirred, groaning into your pillow, clearly fighting consciousness with everything in you. He could already tell this wasn’t going to be an easy wake-up.
“Alright, Sleeping Beauty,” he murmured, his voice laced with amusement. “Time to get up.”
You groaned again, pulling the blanket over your head. “No.”
Pedro chuckled. “Not even gonna think about it?”
“No.”
He exhaled, amused, and sat on the edge of the bed, nudging your shoulder lightly. “C’mon, I brought you breakfast. Fresh fruit, pastries, coffee… I even got you juice. Thought I was being nice.”
That earned him a tiny peek of an eye from beneath the blanket. “What kind of juice?”
He smirked. There we go.
“Mango,” he answered, watching as you visibly debated with yourself. “And it’s still cold.”
You groaned but finally—finally—sat up, rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you blinked blearily at him. “Fine. But if you’re lying about the juice, I’m going back to bed.”
Pedro chuckled, standing up. “Noted.”
As you shuffled out of bed and towards the kitchenette, still wrapped in your blanket like a grumpy little burrito, Pedro bit back another laugh.
You were trying so hard not to snap at him, despite your obvious morning grumpiness, and he found it strangely endearing. You cared about him—he could see that. Not just in the way a fan might, but as someone who had gotten to know him, really know him, beyond the public persona.
And for some reason, that made his chest feel warm.
By the time you took your first sip of juice, you finally looked at him, still groggy but slightly more awake. “You’re lucky you’re cute,” you grumbled.
Pedro grinned. “I know.”
Pedro stayed leaning against the kitchenette counter, watching you with quiet amusement as you nibbled on a croissant, still wrapped up in your blanket like you might retreat back into it at any moment.
"You know," he said, arms crossing over his chest, "I've worked with some pretty serious divas before, but you? You might be the worst morning person I've ever met."
You narrowed your eyes at him mid-chew, unimpressed. "Bold of you to assume I’m even a person in the morning."
Pedro laughed, rich and warm, like he hadn't expected you to say that. It sent a flutter through your stomach, but you buried it beneath another bite of food.
A comfortable silence settled between you as you worked through your breakfast, the weight of last night—the teasing from your friends, the way Pedro had looked at you over dinner, the way he’d listened, really listened, when you brushed off your problems—lingering just beneath the surface.
It should’ve been awkward. But it wasn’t.
"So," he finally said, drumming his fingers against the countertop, "what’s the plan for your day off? Big, exciting plans to stay in bed all day?"
You swallowed a sip of juice, tilting your head at him. "That was the dream, yeah."
Pedro let out a soft scoff, pushing off the counter. "Nah. Not happening."
You raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"
"You’ve been working your ass off all week, and I don’t mean just putting up with the shoot," he said, giving you a knowing look. "I mean all of it. Everything. And since you clearly weren’t gonna tell me how much it was getting to you, I figure it’s my job to make sure you actually do something for yourself today."
Your stomach twisted at that.
He had noticed.
Of course, he had.
And now, instead of letting you bury it like you had all week, he was making it a thing.
"Pedro," you sighed, setting your glass down. "I really don’t—"
"Shh," he cut in, grinning as he pressed a finger to his lips. "No arguing."
You stared at him, deadpan. "Did you just shush me?"
"Yeah." He shrugged, completely unfazed. "It’s effective."
You narrowed your eyes, trying very hard not to laugh. "You’re an idiot."
"And yet," he said, nodding toward your now-empty plate, "an idiot who got you to wake up, eat breakfast, and seriously consider leaving this hotel room."
You bit your lip, fighting back a smile.
Damn it.
"Okay, fine." You rolled your eyes. "What exactly do you have in mind?"
Pedro grinned like he’d just won something. "Get dressed, cariño. I’ll tell you on the way."
CHILTERN FIREHOUSE HOTEL — EARLY AFTERNOON
You didn’t know what you had expected Pedro to suggest—maybe a lazy stroll through the city, or coffee at some tucked-away café—but the moment you stepped outside, you realized you had severely underestimated him.
For one, he had somehow procured a car.
Not just any car. A sleek, inconspicuous black SUV, complete with a driver who nodded at Pedro like they had some unspoken understanding.
You frowned, pausing just before getting in. “Please tell me you didn’t hire security just to take me out for the day.”
Pedro smirked, holding the door open for you. “Relax. It’s just a favor. No secret service level drama.”
You eyed him suspiciously. “You swear?”
“Would I lie to you?”
You didn’t dignify that with a response.
With a dramatic sigh, you climbed into the passenger seat, and Pedro followed suit, settling in beside you with a satisfied grin.
“See?” he said as the car pulled away from the hotel. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?”
You shot him a flat look. “I already regret this.”
Pedro just laughed, tapping his fingers idly against his knee.
The city stretched out beyond the tinted windows, a blur of old brick buildings, cafés with tiny outdoor tables, and the occasional group of tourists wrapped up in their own adventures.
For a moment, you let yourself relax, head resting back against the seat, the steady hum of the car filling the silence.
And then—
“Are you actually going to tell me where we’re going?” you asked, side-eyeing him.
Pedro hummed, pretending to think about it. “Nah. I like watching you squirm.”
You groaned, letting your head fall back dramatically. “I hate you.”
“No, you don’t.”
You turned your head, finding him already watching you, something fond and unreadable flickering behind his glasses.
Your breath caught in your throat.
The car hit a stoplight, and he looked away, tapping something into his phone.
Okay. Fine.
You could pretend that didn’t just happen.
The drive continued, weaving through the city until you eventually started to recognize where you were heading.
Your brows furrowed.
“Wait a minute—"
“Surprise,” Pedro said, grinning as the car finally rolled to a stop in front of what was, unmistakably, a bookstore.
Not just any bookstore.
One you had mentioned in passing about a few days ago, while sitting with him and a few others on set, talking about places you’d love to visit while in London.
You turned to him, mouth slightly open. “You remembered?”
Pedro gave you a look, like the idea of him not remembering was ridiculous.
“Of course I did,” he said simply, pushing open his door. “Now, are you gonna sit there looking at me like I just grew a second head, or are we actually going in?”
You scrambled out of the car before he could make another joke, ignoring the warmth spreading through your chest.
Inside, the scent of old paper and freshly brewed coffee wrapped around you like a hug. The place was small but full—every wall lined with shelves, tables stacked with books, mismatched chairs tucked into cozy corners.
It was perfect.
Pedro hovered near the entrance, watching your expression, clearly pleased with himself.
You turned, crossing your arms. “Alright, Pascal. What’s the catch?”
He smirked. “No catch.”
You narrowed your eyes.
He sighed, holding his hands up in surrender. “Fine. I might have selfish reasons for bringing you here.”
You raised an eyebrow. “Which are?”
Pedro stepped closer, tilting his head. “You’re a pain in the ass when you’re stressed.”
Your jaw dropped.
“Excuse me?”
He laughed, reaching out and flicking the end of your sleeve. “You needed a break. And I—” He paused, eyes softening. “I like seeing you happy.”
The words were simple.
Too simple.
And yet, they settled deep in your chest, curling around something you weren’t ready to name.
You swallowed, looking away, focusing on the nearest bookshelf like it held all the answers.
Pedro let the silence stretch for a beat, then nudged you gently.
“Go on,” he murmured. “Pick something.”
So you did.
LONDON BOOKSHOP — EARLY AFTERNOON
You took your time browsing.
Partly because you wanted to, and partly because Pedro made himself comfortable, dropping into one of the armchairs in the corner like he had all the time in the world.
He did this thing where he pretended not to be watching you. Flipping through a book, glasses sliding down his nose, but every so often—you caught him. The flicker of his gaze, the tiny smirk when you pulled a book off the shelf and examined the cover with interest.
It made your skin warm.
It was still so bizarre—this thing between you two.
You were still wrapping your head around it, still trying to convince yourself that this wasn’t some overactive, sleep-deprived hallucination.
Because this was Pedro Pascal.
And Pedro Pascal had somehow taken it upon himself to make sure you were okay, taking you out on bookstore adventures and—
Oh god, were you on a date?
Your heart jumped at the realization, nearly making you fumble the book in your hands.
No. Not a date.
Just… Pedro being Pedro.
Right?
You exhaled slowly, trying to refocus.
The book in your hands was a worn, well-loved copy of a classic romance novel. The pages were slightly yellowed, the cover soft with age.
“That one, huh?”
You startled slightly, looking up to see Pedro watching you from his chair, one arm draped lazily over the armrest.
You shrugged, running your fingers along the spine. “I’ve been meaning to read it.”
Pedro hummed, tilting his head. “You always do that.”
You blinked. “Do what?”
He nodded toward the book in your hands. “That thing. Where you rub the cover before you decide.”
You froze, caught. “…I do not.”
Pedro’s grin was entirely too smug. “Oh, you do.”
You felt warmth creep up your neck. “You’ve been watching me pick books?”
He lifted a shoulder, like it wasn’t a big deal. “You’re cute when you’re indecisive.”
Your stomach flipped.
You opened your mouth—only to immediately close it again, because what the fuck were you supposed to say to that?
Pedro’s grin widened like he knew exactly what he was doing.
Your fingers curled around the book, gripping it like it could somehow ground you.
“I—” You cleared your throat, forcing a glare. “I hate you.”
Pedro just laughed, leaning back in his chair. “No, you don’t.”
You turned away, cheeks burning, pointedly walking toward the register before he could see how flustered you were.
The woman behind the counter smiled as she rang up your book, eyes flicking toward Pedro lounging in the corner.
“That your boyfriend?” she asked casually.
You nearly choked.
“What? No. No, no. He’s just—” You gestured vaguely. “Pedro.”
She just smiled knowingly. “Right.”
You hurriedly paid, ignoring the way Pedro was definitely smirking behind you, and grabbed the small paper bag with your book inside.
When you turned, he was already standing, adjusting his glasses. “Ready?”
You exhaled, nodding.
As the two of you stepped outside, the chilly afternoon air hit your skin, a sharp contrast to the warmth of the bookshop.
Pedro slipped his hands into his pockets, glancing over. “Lunch?”
You hesitated. “I don’t know… what if people see us?”
Pedro just shrugged. “So what?”
You frowned, chewing on the inside of your cheek. “I just— I don’t want people to think—”
“That you’re hanging out with me?” Pedro finished, raising an eyebrow.
You let out a breath, rubbing at your temple. “I just don’t want to be weird about it.”
Pedro was quiet for a beat, then nudged your arm gently. “Hey.”
You looked up.
“Let them think whatever they want,” he said, voice softer now. “You’re allowed to exist in public with me, y’know.”
Your chest ached in a way you weren’t expecting.
He made it sound so simple.
You swallowed, nodding. “Okay.”
Pedro grinned. “Good. Now let’s go find some obscenely overpriced pasta.”
You huffed a laugh, letting him lead the way.
LONDON — AFTERNOON
The restaurant Pedro picked was one of those effortlessly stylish little spots tucked away on a side street, the kind of place with warm lighting, fresh flowers on every table, and a menu written in looping script on a chalkboard.
It smelled like olive oil and fresh bread, like garlic sizzling in butter.
“Obscenely overpriced pasta,” you muttered under your breath, scanning the menu. “You weren’t kidding.”
Pedro chuckled, tilting his head toward you. “Hey, if we’re gonna be reckless, we might as well do it with carbs.”
Your lips twitched, but you didn’t argue.
The two of you had been seated near the window, the view outside hazy with the gray of the London afternoon. Pedro sat opposite you, cap low, glasses on, but even that didn’t do much to disguise him.
It was still him.
Still warm brown eyes and laughter lines, still easy charm and a quiet steadiness that made you feel safer than you probably should.
The restaurant hummed with soft conversation, the gentle clinking of glasses and silverware blending with the distant notes of some old jazz song playing overhead. The air smelled rich—garlic and butter, fresh herbs and warm bread—and for the first time in what felt like days, you felt… light.
You weren’t thinking about work. Or her.
Just Pedro. Just this.
He was leaning back in his chair now, one arm draped over the backrest, fingers idly tracing the rim of his water glass. His cap was still low over his forehead, glasses perched on his nose, but his expression was open, relaxed—like this was the most natural thing in the world. Like the two of you having lunch together was something that had always made sense.
And maybe it did.
"So," Pedro said, tearing off a piece of bread from the basket between you. "Tell me something about you that I don’t know yet."
You huffed a small laugh, stirring the ice in your drink with your straw. "That’s a pretty broad request."
He shrugged. "Alright, let’s narrow it down. What was little you like?"
You blinked at him. "Little me?"
"Yeah." He popped a piece of bread into his mouth. "Like, what were you like as a kid? Were you the quiet, shy one, or were you running around causing problems?"
You scoffed. "I am the quiet, shy one."
Pedro gave you a look. "I know you. You’ve got a little chaos in you somewhere."
You bit back a smile. "Fine. Maybe a little."
Pedro grinned, leaning in like he was settling in for a story. "Alright, spill."
You thought for a moment, fingers brushing absentmindedly over the rim of your glass. "I was kind of… scrappy, I guess? Like, I wasn’t looking for trouble, but I wouldn’t not fight a kid if they deserved it."
Pedro nearly choked on his water. "What?"
Your face heated. "Not like that! I just—I had a strong sense of justice, okay?"
Pedro wiped his mouth, eyes gleaming with amusement. "So what I’m hearing is that you’ve always been ready to throw hands."
You groaned, dropping your face into your hands. "I shouldn’t have told you that."
Pedro was grinning so hard. "No, no, I love it. I love picturing little you, all tiny and righteous, just out there laying down the law."
You peeked at him through your fingers. "It wasn’t that dramatic."
"Mm-hmm," he said, clearly not convinced.
You shook your head, exhaling a laugh. "Okay, your turn, big shot. What was little Pedro like?"
His smirk softened into something more nostalgic. "Oh, I was a menace," he admitted.
You snorted. "Of course you were."
"I mean, not in a bad way," he amended, breaking off another piece of bread. "I was just… all over the place. Loud, always moving, always talking. My parents were exhausted."
You smiled. "Sounds like you were a handful."
"Oh, completely." He took a sip of his drink, glancing at you over the rim. "I grew up in a house that was always full, always noisy. Family coming in and out all the time, music playing, food cooking. I never really knew what quiet was until I got older."
There was something warm in his voice, something fond in the way he spoke about home.
"That sounds… nice," you murmured.
Pedro tilted his head slightly, studying you. "What about you? What was home like?"
You hesitated, glancing down at your plate. "Not like that."
His brows drew together, but he didn’t push.
You exhaled softly, running your finger over the condensation on your glass. "I mean, it wasn’t bad or anything. It was just… quieter. A little lonelier."
Pedro didn’t say anything, just waited.
You bit your lip, giving a small shrug. "I guess I always felt like I had to work a little harder to fit in. To matter."
Pedro’s gaze softened, something unreadable flickering behind his eyes.
You cleared your throat, suddenly embarrassed. "Sorry, that got depressing—"
"Hey." His voice was quiet but firm.
You glanced up.
Pedro was watching you with something steady, something real in his expression. "You don’t have to apologize for being honest."
Your stomach flipped.
You nodded, a little too quickly. "Right. Yeah."
Pedro gave you a small smile, then nudged your foot under the table. "For what it’s worth," he said lightly, "I think you’re pretty great."
Your throat felt tight. "Yeah?"
"Yeah." His smile widened. "Even if you did used to fight kids."
You groaned. "Oh my god."
Pedro laughed, and the sound was so warm, so easy, that you couldn’t help but laugh with him.
And just like that, whatever tension had settled between you melted away, leaving nothing but warmth in its place.
The street was buzzing softly with life when you stepped outside, the late afternoon sun spilling golden light over everything. You hadn’t even fully processed where Pedro was leading you when he suddenly tugged on your wrist and gestured toward a tiny, vintage photo booth tucked just outside the café. Its paint was chipped, its curtain a little worn, but it had the kind of charm that begged you to step inside.
“C’mon,” Pedro said with a mischievous grin, already pulling you toward it.
“What? No!” You laughed, glancing around like someone might catch you doing something scandalous. “Pedro, this is so cheesy!”
He raised a brow, clearly unimpressed by your protests. “Cheesy is good. Plus, you owe me for making me think you were a goner this morning.” He gave you a dramatic, pleading look. “One strip of photos. For my emotional recovery.”
You rolled your eyes, but you were smiling. “Fine. One. And only because I feel bad for you.”
The booth’s tiny space forced you closer together than you expected. Pedro leaned in to fiddle with the ancient machine, his arm brushing against yours. You tried not to think too hard about how warm he was, or how his cologne smelled faintly like cedar and something else you couldn’t quite place.
“Okay, ready?” Pedro asked, his finger hovering over the button.
“Wait! What do we—what pose are we doing?”
He grinned. “You’ll figure it out.”
The camera counted down—three, two, one.
The first flash caught you both off guard, faces blank with surprise. You burst into laughter, the kind that made your shoulders shake, and Pedro quickly leaned in for another shot.
“Okay, okay, serious face,” he instructed, eyes narrowing comically.
You tried, but the second the flash went off, you broke into giggles again, and Pedro lost it right along with you.
The third shot was a blur of laughter, your head tipped back, Pedro’s grin wide and unguarded.
Then, right as the camera beeped for the final shot, Pedro turned toward you.
You barely had time to register the movement before his lips brushed your cheek, soft and quick but undeniably there.
The flash went off.
You froze, eyes wide as you turned to look at him. Pedro’s face mirrored yours for a second—caught somewhere between Did I really just do that? and Yeah, I did. But then, the corners of his mouth curled into a sheepish grin.
The photo strip slid out of the machine, and you grabbed it, holding it up between you. There it was: the first three frames filled with laughter and goofy poses, and the last… the last one where his lips were pressed against your cheek, your eyes wide, his soft and warm, both of you caught mid-smile.
Your heart fluttered—nervous, exhilarated, but… not scared. Not even a little.
“You kissed me,” you said, voice soft but teasing.
Pedro rubbed the back of his neck, pretending to look thoughtful. “Hmm. Did I? Feels like that might’ve been you kissing me.”
You gasped, smacking his arm with the photo strip. “Liar!”
He chuckled, eyes sparkling with mischief. “Hey, I’m just saying—it’s open to interpretation.”
You shook your head, laughing softly. “You’re ridiculous.”
“And yet,” he said, tilting his head, “here you are. Stuck in a photo booth with me.”
The air between you shifted then—lighter, but also charged with something else. Something that felt like the beginning of a question neither of you was quite ready to ask.
For a beat, neither of you moved.
Then Pedro tapped the photo strip with his finger, breaking the moment. “Well, at least we’ve got proof of how good we look together.”
Your cheeks burned, but you couldn’t stop smiling. “Shut up.”
“Never,” he replied, already holding out his phone. “Now, do we post this on the internet, or do we keep it as blackmail material for later?”
You grabbed the photo strip, slipping it into your pocket. “Neither. This one’s ours.”
Pedro raised his hands in surrender, but the smile on his face told you he didn’t mind one bit.
The sky was painted in soft shades of pink and orange as the sun began its slow descent. Pedro slipped his phone back into his pocket after calling the driver, glancing at you with a small smile. “We’ve got about ten minutes. Wanna walk a little?”
You nodded, grateful for the chance to stretch your legs. The streets were alive with a gentle hum—tourists taking photos, locals going about their day, the occasional street performer filling the air with music.
The city felt like a movie set, every streetlamp and cobblestone path perfectly placed. And in this fleeting moment, it felt like the world had paused just for the two of you, as if the streetlights themselves pointed in an arrowhead, leading you home.
Pedro noticed the slight chill in the air and shrugged off his jacket, draping it over your shoulders before you could protest. “Can’t have you catching a cold,” he said, his voice light but warm with care.
The jacket smelled like him—faint cologne mixed with something warm and earthy, something Pedro. You tugged it around yourself a little tighter, feeling its weight settle comfortably over your frame.
A surge of boldness swept over you, the kind you usually talked yourself out of but didn’t this time. You stepped closer, looping your arm around his. His body radiated warmth, steady and solid beneath your touch. Slowly, your fingers found his hand, intertwining with his.
Pedro didn’t hesitate. His hand squeezed yours gently, his thumb brushing over your knuckles in a soft, absentminded rhythm. It was such an easy, natural thing for him, this casual intimacy that felt so rare and comforting.
You’d learned over the past few days that touch was part of his love language. He was the kind of man who hugged with his whole body, the kind whose touch always felt intentional and grounding, never forced or fleeting.
Your heart thudded a little harder in your chest. You told yourself it was just from the walk.
You squeezed his arm lightly, smiling up at him. “Thanks for today, Pedro.”
He glanced down at you, his eyes warm and crinkling at the edges, those familiar laughter lines making an appearance. “For what?”
“For everything,” you said softly, almost shy. “For making me laugh. For breakfast. For not running away when I woke up looking like a crypt keeper.”
Pedro chuckled, his grip on your hand tightening for a brief second. “You looked adorable. Not a crypt keeper—more like… a sleepy little gremlin.”
You gasped, mock-offended, and smacked his arm with your free hand. “Gremlin? You’re lucky I don’t let go of your hand right now.”
He grinned, that mischievous spark in his eyes you were quickly becoming fond of. “You wouldn’t. You like me too much.”
You couldn’t argue with that.
The streetlamps flickered on as the daylight dimmed, casting a golden glow over the cobblestone streets. You both fell into a comfortable silence, the kind that didn’t need to be filled with words. The city hummed around you, but all you could focus on was the steady warmth of Pedro’s hand in yours, the easy rhythm of your steps together, the way everything felt just a little softer, a little brighter with him by your side.
“You’re really something, you know that?” Pedro said suddenly, his voice quieter now, thoughtful.
You glanced at him, your breath hitching slightly. “Something good, I hope.”
Pedro stopped walking for a second, turning toward you. His eyes searched yours, serious now. “The best kind of something.”
Your chest tightened at the weight of his words, a mix of nerves and excitement swirling in your stomach. You tried to play it cool, but the heat rising to your cheeks gave you away.
“Well,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper, “right back at you, Pedro.”
He smiled, that same soft, unguarded smile that always made you feel like you were the only person in the world he was looking at.
The driver pulled up a few moments later, headlights cutting through the soft twilight. Pedro opened the door for you, his hand resting lightly on your back as you slid into the car.
As the car pulled away, you leaned back into the seat, Pedro’s jacket still wrapped around your shoulders, his warmth lingering like a secret you weren’t quite ready to give up.
And maybe, just maybe, neither was he.
CHILTERN FIREHOUSE HOTEL — EVENING
The glow of golden hour had dimmed into soft dusk by the time you returned to Chiltern Firehouse. The lobby was warm and buzzing with quiet energy—guests sipping cocktails, a crackling fireplace, and staff moving seamlessly through the space. Pedro walked beside you, his hand resting gently at the small of your back like it had been there all along.
You didn’t want the day to end just yet. There was something about the way the air felt, a little lighter, like it had been charged with something electric and unspoken.
As you approached the front desk, one of the hotel managers, a polished woman in a tailored suit, stepped forward with a warm smile, followed closely by Franklin Latt—Pedro’s manager.
“Good evening,” the hotel manager greeted. “I hope you’ve been enjoying your stay. I wanted to let you know that your room is now ready, miss.”
Your breath hitched for a split second.
Right. The room.
It was easy to forget after the last few days, the way you’d fallen into such a natural rhythm with Pedro. Sharing his suite had felt so… effortless. You blinked, trying to process the sudden shift.
“Oh,” you said, your voice soft, almost reluctant. “Right. That was, uh… this week.”
You glanced at Pedro, and for a fleeting moment, something passed between you—a flicker of disappointment mirrored in his eyes.
You shifted on your feet, clearing your throat. “Okay, um… I guess I need to pack, then.”
The hotel manager smiled politely. “The room is ready for you whenever you’re ready to move, miss.”
Pedro opened his mouth before you could respond, a little too quickly. “Actually, do you think she could switch tomorrow? It’s been a long day, and she still needs to pack her things. We’re both pretty wiped out.”
His voice was casual, but there was an edge of determination that made you glance up at him, your heart fluttering at how easily he’d jumped in for you.
The hotel manager hesitated but nodded. “Of course. If you’d prefer to transfer tomorrow, that can be arranged.”
Franklin, however, raised an eyebrow, his sharp gaze flickering between you and Pedro. His eyes caught on Pedro’s jacket draped around your shoulders, the sleeves too long for you, the fabric worn in all the right places.
Your face heated up as you tugged the jacket a little tighter around yourself, hoping it would hide the rush of color in your cheeks.
Franklin crossed his arms, his expression somewhere between amused and suspicious. “Tired, huh?” he said, his tone light but pointed. “You sure that’s the only reason?”
Pedro shot him a look, his brow arching in silent warning. “Relax, Frank. We’ve been out all day, walking around the city. She’s exhausted.”
Franklin chuckled, clearly not buying it but deciding to let it go—for now. “Right. Well, don’t let me keep you.”
The hotel manager nodded again. “Just let us know when you’re ready to move rooms. Enjoy the rest of your evening.”
She and Franklin walked off, leaving you and Pedro standing in the middle of the lobby, the hum of quiet conversations around you. For a second, neither of you spoke.
Pedro scratched the back of his neck, avoiding your gaze. “So… I guess you’re stuck with me for one more night.”
You tried to laugh, but it came out softer than you intended. “Guess so.”
The elevator doors opened, and you stepped inside together. The air between you felt charged again, like earlier, but now tinged with something deeper—something fragile and new.
Pedro leaned against the wall of the elevator, glancing at you from the corner of his eye. “If I’m being honest, I’m kinda glad you’re not leaving just yet.”
Your heart skipped a beat, but you tried to play it cool. “Oh yeah? Afraid of being lonely?”
He chuckled, his voice low and warm. “Maybe. Or maybe I’ve just gotten used to having you around.”
The words settled in your chest like a secret you weren’t sure you were ready to unpack. You didn’t trust yourself to say anything in return, so you just smiled, a little shy, a little flustered.
When the elevator dinged, Pedro followed you out, his hand resting lightly on your back again as you made your way to the suite. It was such a small thing, but it grounded you in ways you hadn’t expected.
Maybe you’d sort through those feelings tomorrow, when the lines between friendship and something more didn’t feel so blurred.
But tonight?
“One last movie night?” you asked softly as you swiped the keycard, pushing the door open. You glanced over your shoulder at Pedro, an almost shy smile playing on your lips.
Pedro’s eyes crinkled at the corners as he grinned, stepping in behind you. “It doesn’t have to be the last one,” he said, his voice warm and steady. “We can have as many movie nights as you want.”
His words hung in the air, carrying a weight you weren’t sure he meant to put there. Something about the way he said it made your chest tighten in the best way possible.
You kicked off your shoes, trying to shake off the flutter in your stomach, and headed for the couch. Pedro shrugged off his jacket and tossed it over a chair, moving to grab a couple of waters from the kitchenette.
“Okay,” you said, settling into the couch cushions, pulling a blanket over your lap. “But I’m picking the movie this time.”
Pedro handed you a bottle of water and plopped down beside you, close enough that his knee bumped yours. “Deal. What are we watching?”
You tapped your chin dramatically, pretending to be deep in thought. “Something light. No brooding detectives or tragic endings.”
He laughed, the sound low and easy. “Are you saying my movie choices are too intense?”
“Not too intense,” you teased, opening the streaming app. “But I’m in the mood for something that won’t make me question the meaning of life.”
Pedro leaned back, resting an arm on the back of the couch behind you. His fingers brushed your shoulder, barely there, but it sent a spark down your spine anyway. “Fair enough. Surprise me.”
You clicked on a romantic comedy and settled in, trying to focus on the movie and not the warmth of Pedro beside you. But it was hard to ignore—the way his thigh pressed gently against yours, the sound of his soft chuckle whenever something funny happened on screen, the way he stole glances at you when he thought you weren’t looking.
About halfway through the movie, you felt your head naturally tilt toward his shoulder. You hesitated for a second, nerves twisting in your chest. But then Pedro shifted ever so slightly, making it easier, like he was inviting you to stay.
“You comfortable?” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Yeah,” you said softly, your cheek resting against him. “You make a pretty good pillow.”
He chuckled, the sound vibrating under your ear. “I try.”
Neither of you moved after that, the movie fading into the background. The world outside the suite felt far away, like it didn’t matter. Not right now. Not with him.
Maybe you’d unpack those feelings tomorrow.
But tonight?
Tonight, you let yourself fall a little further.
End Notes:
This was one of the chapters I was dreading to write. Not cause I didn’t want to write it—
Cause I knew, from a writer’s perspective, at some point, I had to subvert the expectation of, “They’ll be roommates the entire time and fall in love.”
And yes, I did the thing where I gave you something you wanted/something good and then took it away from you LMAO ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I mean… at least you get your own room now! So that counts for something— (please don’t show up at my house aHHHH)
Also, five chapters in, I had to give ya'll a little smooch... just a little... hehe
TAGLIST: @comfortzonequeen @christinamadsen @liciafonseca @greenwitchfromthewoods @iqr-x @southernbe @maryfanson @brittmb115 @klajmekk @taytay0403 @whimsiwitchy @zymiii @sarahhxx03 @leilanixx @lilasskicker-23 @https-murdock @barnescamboy @widowsvail @senhoritamayblog @morganlolitta
#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal x f!reader masterlist#pedro pascal fan fiction#pedro pascal imagine#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal gifs#pedro pascal x f!reader#pedro pascal x female reader#pedro pascal#pedro pascal x reader series#pedro pascal x you#pedro pascal x y/n#pedro pascal x plus size reader#pedro pascal x ofc#pedro pascal x reader masterlist#pedro pascal x fem!reader series masterlist#pedro pascal characters#pedro pascal fandom#pedro pascal smut#jose pedro balmaceda pascal#pedrohub#pedrito
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what does this person think of you? --<3
this is an intuitive reading, if it does not speak to you do not take it to heart. i will be blunt so don't expect butterflies and unicorns. this is asking about someone who at least knows about your existence...so no f/s, no celebrity. can be romantic or platonic. blurbs because i made six piles...maybe i'll add on later or do a pt. 2. feedback is appreciated but not required. enjoy, babies 💋
i've been a bit busy with personal life and senior year, but when spring break rolls around i'll make more pacs and in between then as well. <3
this person thinks that you're very fawn-like. you're bubbly and you know how to be the center of attention, which can bug you sometimes--this person thinks you revel in it, though. compared to you, they may be less popular--nerdier, unseen, and they admire the way you can command people at your will. they may be meek and have had some issues in their life that have caused them to be on the more quiet side. they're a very calm person though, and they appreciate that you're more different than them. they think you're warm, and although you're a bit too bright at times, they love your spark. i think you're asking about someone on your level, around your age. if this is a romantic connection, i think there's some potential, although this person may not be ready for this. you are much more spiritually advanced than them. song: easy lovers by piero piccioni. animal: mourning dove. place: coastlines.
this person can probably be seen as a bit rude/cold at first. i'm thinking of sea storms, brick walls incase that may be significant. you're probably out of high school, in the real world. this may be a coworker or college friend you're asking about. anyways, i think they think that you're pretty neat. you probably have similar interests--if you haven't spoken to them, you really should. this can be a very good friendship. they may like sports or have varying hobbies than you (not interests necessarily). you're more on the artistic, musical side. they think that you're very talented, but that you show this side to other people rarely. you have this summery aura around you. you feel like home. but they, also, have a very widespread social circle and they think very positively about other people. they're probably more talkative than you are. song: champagne coast by blood orange. animal: tiger. place: islands.
this person may resent you a little bit for some reason. i'm thinking of birds. i think you embody some quality that they wish to have, and the fact that it seems like you exhibit this so easily makes them upset. you're a very lucky person and life gives you whatever you want on a silver platter--they do not know that you've worked for everything that you currently have. you may be flighty, which can be both positive or negative, and it pisses them off because they stay in one spot all of the time. you're not attached to things as much as they are, and it makes them furious at how fast you can move on from things. you probably smile a lot and they get upset with that--this can be an ex, someone who didn't make the first move, even a parent with whom your relationship has grown sour. i think that this connection is probably better off not existing. song: angel by massive attack. animal: snake. place: inland.
they think a lot of you contrasts other parts of you. you may be a feminine man or a masculine woman, or exhibit qualities that aren't expected of you, like being a girl and having short hair or having a job in a more male-dominated field, f.e. you're a fiery person--i wouldn't say outright bubbly like pile 1, because you do have your silent moments, but when you do speak you fill your words with passion. you're a very powerful person and they don't know what to make of you. you're a bit intimidating so if you're hoping they'll approach you, you may have to make the first move 😂. but if you've spoken with them already, this person likes you and adores you. you're their little punk and they think that you're pretty darn cool. they're probably alternative, or they also defy norms. that's why they think you're pretty nice. they're a genuine person, although they may be a bit blunt sometimes. song: elskling by elusin. animal: dolphin. place: cities.
i think this person thinks you're very beautiful. note that this doesn't mean they are necessarily attracted to you, but for a lot of you, they are. you have very well-defined features, and you don't try to cover them up, even though some of you do struggle with self image. they think you're not only absolutely drop-dead gorgeous, but you're wise. you're soft but you know how to punch too, but you choose to be at peace. i don't really think this person is in a position to know a lot about you, as of now...i would be 50/50 about talking to them seriously if you haven't already. this person does have the ability to form meaningful connections with people, but for some of you they're lustful and very material-based. song: agora hills. animal: cat. place: luxurious/well cared for.
ahhh my final pile! hi darling. this seems like someone you've fell out with, or you have had a rocky relationship. i think you're tired, or sad now--maybe you have seasonal depression. i feel like you're carrying a big weight on your shoulders, and this person has noticed that too. they think of you as very honorable. you have a strong-set of morals that they admire, and they like how you're loyal to things despite sometimes it being to a fault. they think that you're a very honest person--unrelated but some of you may have an accent or an interesting way of speaking. you have a good heart, and because of this you have an amalgamation of many different people in your social circle, since you're non-judgmental. the person thinks that this is bad, because they're really judgy themselves. they're also probably insecure. i think you need to stop caring about what this person thinks and instead go treat yourself. after you've helped yourself out of this sludge, you'll learn that you don't really care for what they think--this doesn't mean that they don't matter, no, but it means that they're not the focal point of your life and that the beautiful energy surrounding you should be devoted to other things, not just them. song: total eclipse of the heart by bonnie tyler. animal: dog. place: southern.
#pick a pile#pick a picture#pick a photo#pick a card#tarot reading#love reading#tarot#divine guidance#spirituality#card reading#tarot cards#tarotblr#pac reading
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clingy glisten x user.. Pls..
⫘⫘⫘ SOFT LIGHT ⫘⫘⫘
୭ Summary: A compilation of headcanons featuring a clingy Glisten x reader
୭ Character(s): Glisten (Dandy’s World)
୭ Genre: Headcanons, Fluff, SFW
୭ Warning(s): None - Completely Safe!
✧ Glisten adores attention, and yours is his favorite. The moment you step into the room, he’s already by your side, draping himself over you like a silk ribbon. He’ll lean against you, hook his arm through yours, or pull you in for a kiss if he’s feeling particularly bold. If you don’t immediately reciprocate, he’ll pout dramatically until you do.
✧ He thrives on validation, so expect constant requests for compliments. “Tell me I’m beautiful,” he demands, batting his lashes expectantly. If you hesitate even for a second, he’ll dramatically sigh and lament about being “so unloved.” You’ve learned to play along, and honestly, you don’t mind. Seeing him flustered when you actually get sincere about your admiration makes it worth it.
✧ If you even think about leaving his side, he’s already devising a way to keep you with him. “Oh, you’re going somewhere? Without me?” He’ll clutch his chest like you’ve wounded him, his reflection shimmering with overplayed devastation. It’s all an act, of course—but the way he instinctively grabs your hand suggests he doesn’t want to be left alone for long.
✧ You’re his safe space, even if he won’t admit it outright. When the perfectionist mask starts to slip and his insecurities creep in, he clings to you even more. He’ll rest his forehead against your shoulder, his voice unusually soft. “Just stay with me for a little longer,” he murmurs, holding onto you like you might disappear if he lets go.
✧ Despite his dramatic flair, Glisten notices when you need reassurance, too. He’ll cradle your face in his hands, inspecting you with a surprisingly gentle gaze. “Darling, you look exhausted.” He refuses to let you brush it off, fussing over you as if you were the fragile one. “Tsk, tsk. Unacceptable. I demand you rest—with me, obviously.”
✧ If he’s not holding onto you physically, he’s finding other ways to remind you of his presence. Expect to find little notes tucked into your belongings—some filled with praises of himself (“A reminder that you are dating the most stunning Toon in existence”) and others more sincere (“You’re lovely. Don’t forget that”). If you ever mention how much you appreciate them, he’ll feign indifference—though the deep pink blush on his reflection betrays him.
✧ Glisten is incredibly possessive, though he masks it with charm. If another Toon gets too close, he’ll slide between you with a dazzling smile, one arm wrapped firmly around you. “Oh, I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” he says sweetly, even as he pulls you closer. The message is clear: You belong to him.
✧ He loves it when you’re the one being clingy. If you reach for him first, he practically preens, his expression glowing with delight. “Oh? Needy, are we?” he teases, though he wastes no time pulling you into his arms. Deep down, knowing you crave him just as much as he craves you soothes something unspoken inside him.
✧ Sleeping apart is not an option. He insists on being tangled up with you, limbs intertwined, face buried against your neck. If you so much as shift away in your sleep, he instinctively pulls you back in. “No escaping,” he mutters groggily, half-conscious but completely unwilling to let go.
✧ Though he tries to act like your affection is a privilege, the truth is, he needs you just as much as you need him—if not more. When he catches his reflection in your eyes, he doesn’t see the flaws he fixates on. He sees someone adored, someone cherished. And for Glisten, that means everything.
#imagine blog#imagine#ask blog#headcanon#writers on tumblr#asks open#anon ask#thanks anon!#ask box open#dandys world#dandys world x reader#dandys world headcanon#dandys world roblox#dandy’s world#dandy’s world headcanons#dandy’s world imagine#dandy’s world x reader#dandy’s world roblox#dw#dw roblox#dw x reader#dw headcanon#dw imagine#glisten the mirror#glisten dandy’s world#dandy’s world glisten#dandys world glisten#glisten#glisten dandys world#dw glisten
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A2 + A5 with rafe please, a bit of angst then fluff at the end !!! also congratulations on 500 !!
thank you!!! hope you enjoy ☺️☺️ really had fun writing this one!!!
prompts: "Please don’t cry. I can’t stand to see you cry" + "Well. Yell, scream, say something. Anything"
content warnings: 18+ MDNI, original afab!reader, men being men/being gross about women,
500 follower celebration!
It was humiliating to say the least. You knew that being Rafe Cameron's girlfriend wasn't always the easiest task. There were expectations of you, one of them being that you had to accompany him to fancy Kook soirées. But tonight, you'd gotten pushed too far.
"Come on," he complained, banging against the locked guest room door. "Please just talk to me. I know I fucked up."
It hadn't been anything out of the ordinary, another obligatory appearance among Figure 8's upper echelon since he was now running Cameron Development. Hanging off Rafe's arm with a cordial smile as he faked his way through small talk with important clients and investors.
At one point, the two of you split off from each other. Being wrangled by one of the other trophy girlfriends to gossip over drinks and 'leave the men to their business,' whatever that meant—something you'd learn very soon. Eventually excusing yourself to the bathroom, you became distracted as you strolled past the billiards room and noticed it was buzzing in conversation.
"Is she that good, Cameron?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, you only keep a girl like that around for one reason."
Your jaw dropped at the sexist declaration, especially when you knew there was a good chance this person had probably acted the complete opposite less towards you than an hour ago when Rafe was by your side. It's not that you were ignorant to that type of behavior in these settings, you'd just never heard it so explicitly.
This was part of why you loved Rafe, though. He was headstrong and fiercely protective of the things that were important to him, which included you. He had a reputation for having a dangerously short fuse, a trait you were appreciative of in this moment. But that wasn't the response you heard at all.
"Seriously, dude? You should brag about your girl more. The stories I've heard-"
"Shut up, Topper."
"No, no. I mean it as, like, a good thing. Those two have the freakiest sex. The stories I've heard. Tell them about that thing she can do when she puts her legs over her-"
"Damn, Rafe. And you aren't sharing any of the dirty details with the rest of us? That's cold, man..."
"My girl's just amazing; what can I say?"
"Enjoy that while it lasts. I wish my wife was still eager and willing like that. Didn't talk back yet, just did whatever I told her because she wanted to keep me around. Made sure I was taken care of like your girl still does, if you know what I mean."
The group of businessmen laughed boisterously as they proceeded with their banter, while your supposed knight-in-shining-armour stood along with them. Actually clinking his glass with the man's who made that comment, not even attempting to clear your name.
Your mind raced as you helplessly watched the scene unfold in front of you. Usually the two of you were on the same page, but right now you could barely recognized your boyfriend. Why didn't he confront them at all? Was he embarrassed over you?
Your clutch fell from your hand, making your presence known as it hit the ground. Not daring to shift your regard back to the room full of local moguls, their conversation stilling there. Rushing to pick it up and return to the group of naive women you were seemingly better off with, but hearing a familiar set of footsteps follow behind you.
At first, Rafe tried explaining himself a few times. So you stubbornly shut him out and did what you apparently did best—blindly follow his lead like a doting puppy. Getting knowing looks from the same snobby men he’d just been chatting with as he quickly decided it was time to make his exit, your rage not going unnoticed.
Your silence prevailed throughout the car ride home despite his continued attempts to apologize, not sparing him a glance as you stormed into the house and up to one of the guest bedrooms. Locking the door behind you as the disparaging remarks swirled through your brain.
"Baby, let me in," he reiterates desperately.
He kept pounding on the door and you kept ignoring him, not in any mood to spend the rest of the evening rehashing your unsettled conflict. Becoming startled when it suddenly stopped after a few minutes, the quiet only worrying you knowing your boyfriend's unpredictable temper.
And then, in his irrational fashion, the thick wood broke off its hinges like it was no big deal. Barreling into the formerly tranquil room, brushing a hand through his hair dramatically as he caught his breath. Feeling a little resentful that he decided to channel his frustration into that outrageous display instead of actually backing you up earlier.
"Are you fucking serious?" You grill him, not hiding how unimpressed you were.
"What?" He counters, glancing at the wreckage and waving it off. "Don't worry about that."
You just rolled your eyes, diverting your attention from him as resentment crept back up on you. A tear rolling down your cheek as you remembered why you were in here, avoiding him, in the first place. Rafe kneeling down to bring himself to your level, his thumb wiping it off your skin.
"Please don't cry. I can't stand to see you cry." He whispered hoarsely. "I'm sorry. You know how the guys can be..."
"It's not that, Rafe. You didn't come to my defense at all when they were all objectifying me. I thought I meant more to you than that..." You detail with disappointment. "I'm just... I'm tired. It's been a long night. I'm gonna sleep in here, or one of the rooms that has a door attached."
"No, baby. Let me make it up to you," he contends further.
Not having any more energy to keep scolding him, you slipped under the covers and got as comfortable as you were able to without changing out of your cocktail dress or taking off your makeup. Feeling a dip at the bottom of the mattress, Rafe reaching out and caressing the shape of your silhouette.
"Yell, scream, say something..." he begs weakly, his voice breaking and barely a whisper as he finished his plea. "Anything..."
He crawled across the bed, lying behind you and placing his arms over your torso. Pulling you as close as he was able to with the comforter still separating your bodies. Shutting your eyes momentarily as you basked in the calm you'd been craving all night.
"I'm so sorry, baby... I should've told them to knock it off, but it's complicated with these guys. They're some of my dad's oldest clients. I can't just lose my shit on them, as much as I might want to." He justifies to you. "Please... I'll let you do whatever you want..."
As he waited for your answer, he moved your hair off the back of your neck and started pecking across the flesh. Pressing delicate, wanton kisses before stopping at your shoulder and resting his chin there, leaving one last chaste peck on your cheek. Trying your absolute best not to give in to his persuasive tactics.
"Whatever I want?" you echo, catching his grin reappear as your discomfort faded.
"Anything," he coos, prompting you to turn over to face him properly.
"You're definitely gonna regret that," you threaten playfully.
"Yeah?" he mutters, squeezing your waist possessively.
"Mhmm..." You hum, capturing his lips with yours. Rafe tangling his tongue with your own as he took over control and spent the rest of the evening helping you forget about the disastrous gala.
#divider by okiedokreations#rafe cameron#rafe cameron fanfic#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron obx#rafe obx#rafe cameron blurb#rc#500 follower celebration
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I know that someone said this before, but if you DID make an X-Men au comic run which eras of the series would inspire these comics, how would you write them, and would you have Magneto or some other major villain as the main antagonist?
maaaan i dont know... i can barely decide what i wanna have for lunch most days i just make silly one-off comics i dont got the brain capacity for all that....
#snap chats#ok fine ill actually try to answer the question but i must remind you all i have krill for brains#like.... my strengths lie in sitcom/slice-of-life tomfoolery idk.. dont ever depend on me to do anything serious ever....#maybe some new mutants version of jeff parker's First Class series if that makes sense.. just mags-and-the-kids shenanigans#because i love parker's First Class series tbh it's a great run for when i just wanna have fun and enjoy the charas yk#thats when i enjoy somethin best when i just picture everyone chillin and goin bout their day. rife with tomfoolery ofc...#when im not doing weirdly specific psycho analytic thinkings on them of course JELKVJAELKJLJ#drama's not too heavy and it's just fun and laughs for the most part. tho if i ever wrote anything id want a LIL drama...#listen i grew up with filipino soaps i gotta have an ounce of drama here its in my genes . to RIDICULOUS extents at that#but like over the most Unserious shit ever. like missing a concert date idk jVLAKJKLJVVKA#maybe one real super deep issue once in a blue moon to throw everyone off who's to say#orrr maybe a better version of that one what if where mags and charles find and raise the xmen together jELRKGJERAKLJ#as forrrr era influence.... guess 80's would be the ticket no... idk... maybe some 60's ham for flavor...#and MAIN antagonist ???? shrug. the government..... or some villain-of-the-week beat idk#tbh that part of new mutants where everyone gets depressed and despondent reminded me of my love for horror/existentialism#so maybe id subvert expectations with some horror... but again never depend on me to be serious about anything#on that horror note tho i did brush the idea of some wack plot where mags is just. REALLY deadset on making charles join his side#if i wanted to make mags a villain then yeah..... shrug dont listen to me...#OR HELL if marvels not going to do it im sending the boys to space fuck it. space adventures retirement time#idk !!!!!! i could never write a whole comic run or even a comic book i dont have the attention span/thoughtfulness for that#i am not very smart in that regard !!!!!!!! but i very much appreciate the belief that maybe i could do that thank you everyone jVAELVKJEAK
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Anyway they can change between being tiny and human sized. And when they're tinier they can only be seen by the other fae or their selected humans. So if you just passed Noll on the street while Shavuli was perched on his shoulder chatting away you wouldn't see or hear her.
#my characters#a lot of the fae who are trying to get noll to pick a human take turns joining him as he wanders if he opts to be human sized#if he opts to be small and fly around none of them can actually find him to follow bc he does it precisely to be alone#and makes careful to avoid all of them when he dips#which furthers their friendly obsession with him being their void like where is he we lost him we gotta go bring him back from the abyss!#and hes just off on his own being crippled by anxiety at being a disappointment bc what if he isnt fun enough#absolutely unaware that all his friends are like we gotta go find him hes too good at this#hes going to win the game we have clearly set up to involve humans before he even recruits a human#cause he is TOO GOOD at slipping away ITS NOT FAIR we love him what a weird fae thats our lil guy!#noll really is just out there impressing all of his friends and not knowing hes impressing them bc hes too scared of being abandoned#and i was telling rae but when he does find the human he wants as his for the game#hes like ok so im gonna be honest here i turn into a big sword and you are definitely not going to be strong enough to carry me#and the human just like ok then pick someone else?#and hes like no no i cant you dont get it youre resourceful and im resourceful THEREFORE! i have an idea! just for us!#and then proceeds to shatter himself into shards basically#so that the human can have many smaller easy to control swords rather than one too big sword#and when all of the other fae see it they are absolutely delighted bc they didnt know he could do that! thats so cool! wow! they love him s#and he doesnt tell them that it actually really flippin hurts and being broken is agonizing but he wants to win so badly#anyway hello appreciate the void fae noll and his lil buddy shavuli who can turn into a spear C:#in her human form though she loves to wear hoodies instead of just like .... a skin tight suit with draping fabrics#she does wear biker shorts bc leggy.... she likes to have legs free#but she likes hoodies a lot
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Glad we both enjoy hating omg.
AND YES! Istg the second that video dropped I watched it eagerly, I am such a Batman fan, ugh, if you're ever interested in him specifically, I'd heavily recommend Batman Animated Series, yearnful sigh. I miss when he's written well. And thank you! I appreciate this, I'm bound for a rewatch of this video, hehehe.
NO FR? Istg one of my BIGGEST pet peeves for lazy ass shipping is when OTHER characters have to comment on the relationship, as if it is in any way, shape, or form been properly conveyed as obvious to the audience. IT'S SO LAZY RAHHHHHH. Like you might as while have everyone calling them a couple and them blushing and saying NUH UH, and then never proceed to actually write them interested in each other, outside of predictable, boring commentary, WHICH IS OUT OF LEFT FIELD.
Rex and Eve are legit sm more interesting since they're supposed to be friends for years, then got together, and went through the same shit together. I'd legit rather than them than this. Why did Rex cheat? Why not explore any of these dynamics? Did Kate feel sidelined so she believed Eve and Rex were on a break? How shaky was their relationship?
Get this man in ethics, philosophy, therapy, and pysche classes istg. He truly needs college istg, bro needs education and awarenes. I do not believe he thought he actually thought of Eve, out of anything but guilt, if at ALL. This show feels like it's ACTIVELY trying to lie to me and it's not even doing it WELL? HELLO?
The villain opening was so dumb to me istg. Cecil's stuff I get why, but when it went back to why and justified why Cecil did what he did I wanted to roll my eyes. Like. I can assume why. I don't really need to see why. they're useful, and there's an unspoken GoG absence, yes? I get why Mark is opposed, sure, whatever. Can we use this time for anything else? If this show had more episodes and took things s l o w e r for once, it'd be more fitting to me. Otherwise? I don't care. Speaking of Oliver, they way he's better at fighting than Mark, like this is embarrassing. Mark lock in. Mark do better. Mark why is a child showing you up. WHY ARE EXPLICITLY SHOWN MARK IMPROVING AND THEN HE ACTS JUST AS SUCCESSFUL AS S1? HELLO?
I thought the fight against the underground monsters would be a great opportunity for him to be particularly lethal, like Omni-Man and actually show off some proper skills, and introduce Darkwing + Robots helping heros escape while he's distracted. Still can have Mark freak out, but people get reminded whose son he is. Casually shake off blood. Which we get later on (I wish it was cooler so bad, it's still my fav but with a hint of begrudging admittance), but I say why can't we have more feral Mark scenes? Why stop at one battle parallel with Nolan? Have him particularly lethal with monsters since he'll freak out over people, thinking of Angstrom! Let him mimic Nolan's efficiency and like casually dive through a monster's brain. Him freaking out when someone he cares about gets hurt is so dull to me, also? Did the venom work from the centipede????
GoG's breakup was truly so funny because none of these mfs have been meaningfully explored enough to make me shaken up that they're breaking up, or what that even means because their hero ecosystem isn't explored either! What's the stakes here? I don't get to see more dynamics I never got to see? I'm truly heart broken. Oh no. Also Immortal stay annoying me because bro truly invited himself, told everybody to stfu and get out to a team he decided he'd join back up again, and you're so correct he'd make a mf grovel to get back? Immortal don't be insufferable challenge.
Nolan being endeared to her because she's not afraid makes too much sense, omg. He's so baffled he's enraptured, and Debbie truly thinks he is not special for being capable of killing him, people could die randomly, asshole, get in line. I'd love to see how they got together if the show had time, and the potential dynamics from a "take no shit" Debbie and still learning about humanity, and flirting, Nolan.
REAL ASF THO. Like Invincible could be SO far if it was good. Shows where I'm already invested after it outright refuses to live up to it's potential are like catnip to me, I cannot shut up about it. I'm infuriated and enraptured and endeared. Begging everyone to watch this show, no I don't think it's incredible, watch it all anyway.
Please write the mentor Cecil fic of my dreams, if I can get some oneshots done I'd love to write it myself if I can think of some scenes. There's something so interesting about Cecil becoming an incidental (perhaps Mark opens up and Cecil Realizes: Oh, I can Use This) and then intentional mentor figure, (or again Mark insisting he needs to earn Immortal's approval to prove he's not his Dad fr). Like? Thefun extra wound of betrayal if Cecil still uses the whole scream thing! Maybe Robot/Rudy does a scan of him and finds it, and Mark has to conceptualize what it's for, or it's outright used to against him. I believe in Mark being put through the emotional ringer. Dad issues AND Dad-like mentor issues. Stack 'em.
GDA not have any contingencies or hidden plans is so baffling, like aren't you a paranoid department dealing with something as unstable and dangerous as supes? LIKE NO MEDICAL CHECK UP IS INSANE. Purposeful ignorance is so funny omg, they're actively make it difficult for them to pursue education lmao. But the way I would think they'd make Mark + Oliver binge every morality debate, philosophy, even skeezy therapy where the therapist is just snitching to what their mental states actually are. Enforcing Mark to understand how to fight mentally, and not following the same colonizer BS mindset. GIVE ME PARANOID GDA THINGS. Like if Mark went to college, does GDA have agent pretend to be a student to follow him?
While I'm not too familiar with the DCU- your batfam meta posts are intiguing- so in transfering some of the broader strokes from them- I think you tackling a 'Mark isn't Nolan's biological son' fic would be fascinating. Sort of a step to the side of the 'what if Mark never got his powers' fic that sometimes pop up in the fandom
OOOOOO chewing on this currently, hm, the much a distinct flavor of exactly what you’re talking about, but the potential for more family drama depending on WHO knows. Does Mark know?? Is he waiting every day only to be crushed? Does he confused non-Debbie features with Nolan’s? I suppose I’m not the most enthusiastic about non-power AUs, but I think there’s something very fun to explore about Mark having to settle with, if he knows all his life, he will never have powers? I think the trajectory of his dreams will obviously shift, I can see him still having that distinct fatherly idolization, but perhaps embraces being useful to the GDA? Cecil’s number one intern—only intern—curtesy of nepotism, ha! There is something tickling me about Mark taking the Robin Route/Role for the Teen Team in terms of having no powers, just insane skills, BUT there’s something way more delicious about intern Mark when s1e01 happens and Mark tries snooping around to find out the truth about what happened to his Dad.
I wonder if, with Mark having a whole another father, if they’re more or less distant relationship, depending on WHEN Nolan entered Mark’s life? Like if Debbie met Nolan later for this, or just for fun, they dated once, separated (Mark being born during then), then they happened to stumble into each others lives again and Mark’s already been born, anywhere from tween to teenager so there’s a gap in how close they are. I feel like one important aspect of the whole Family Drama is how close they’re supposed to be, a functional, loving family turned upside down? So I wonder what more distance does. I wonder how Nolan copes when his family is entirely human and he can’t project onto Mark.
I love thinking about these, omg.
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the suyeol lore is so crazy
#their relationship is so interesting to me like aoughhhh#like you see subaek and even tho they don't talk a lot on camera (most of the time) those two get along so well#they understand and respect each other so much they take their job very seriously and they're actually good friends as a result#suyeol on the other hand is 12 years of slowburn like it's crazyyyyy#you admire him and believe in him like no one else does and then you discover that he isn't that great actually#so you get disappointed and distance yourself and then you both are in this weird limbo for years as you grow up#and slowly but surely you rediscover how your relationship works because both of you are adults now and now we're here#like yeah suhito was stressed back then the context was not great for a leader AND tao was still with exo so lmao pcy could fend for himself#so i get ittttt they were going through it but. i need to know what he said to pcy like oh my god was it really that bad 😭#i wonder if they've ever mentioned it 🤔#writing this bc i just remembered that one time they had to describe e/o and suho was like#“you're my cute dongsaeng i admire your talents so much and oh btw you're not uncomfortable around me these days right? uwu”#LIKE ??? KING YOU CAN'T SAY THAT AND LEAVE US IN THE DARK#(<- they totally can it's not our business lmao)#idolization to tentative ''''enemies'''' to coworkers to friends to good friends is crazy#i need to look into this properly omg let's do some research#anyways i want a subunit :) they can be called exo sc too sehun won't mind bc these are like his favorite people in the world!!!#idk i find the exos and their bond so interesting because you truly have it all with them there's a whole spectrum of friendships#and i appreciate that it's not like with b*s & taegi (if you don't know who they are... let's keep it that way <3)#because those two were just too different to get along. it was extreme. but bighit forced it so much it was painful to see sometimes#and then the hawaii trip came and they painted it like a ''see? after this trip they get along so well now <3'' moment#1. girl let's be serious for a sec 😐 and 2. it's not our business!!!!! focus on making good music!!!!!#i'm so glad exo didn't have to go through something like that bc i just know that they'd have disbanded by now sjfsifjsk#the saranghaja sprite isn't that intense we lovr freedom of choice (keeping in mind that they were under sm) <33333#so YEAH. can you guys tell i can't sleep hehe :)#dara.t#suho and chanyeol
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Just finished SVSSS and I have many conflicting thoughts about it, but really it comes down to liking all the details and themes that were wonderfully done/redone/expanded upon in MDZS and TGCF but disliking the story itself
#It's such a shame id been looking forward to reading it for AGES#I bought it w some other danmei and kept it aside as a little future treat#but really i could only appreciate it as a comparison point w mxtx s later work#like oh look at this detail and this thing. This is what made me love the other two series#like when you read an author's early work not to enjoy it but to track the journey to things you'd love later#I'M SO SAD MAN I'D BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO READING IT SO BAD#And instead it's several days of late bedtime for NOTHING#I kept being dragged along by mxtx s writing style and those little snippets and being like oh its abt to get good#its abt to get good man i swear#And then it was. Over#Maybe ill make a proper post to vent my grievances maybe not. I just don't feel like anything rn#I spent so much money on them too... Oh well#anti svsss#just in case i dont want to yuck somebody's yum#I can see how certain kinksters would be mega into this it just had all the wrong kinks for me
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its interesting as someone who used to be a bit closer to the very online capital A "Art Community" but is now a little more outside of it and focused on local art academia etc instead because the former always compliments me on "art style" and the latter always compliments me on the supposedly bizarre subject matter choices i make... its not bad its just interesting to see those two bubbles and how surprisingly separated they can be. unfortunately for them both, my art style is only Like This because i have a learning disability that slightly colours every line i draw and the unusual compositional choices like only drawing one eye and shit is because i was on deviantart in 2009 <3
#i dunno i was thinking about this because i was doing some experimentation with different ways to draw cartoon characters#i used to do it way more often but recently ive been super busy from school and family stuff going on (nothing bad just a lot of work)#the bmpmp3's artstyle is only extremely consistent when shes stressed!!!! jk jk but kinda LOL#if im too busy to play around my drawings will slip into whatevers comfortable for my dysgraphic hand <3 <3 <3#but i loooove experimenting and fucking around. consistency for brand purposes is long outside of my perspective at this point#do i wanna draw detailed hair and faces... do i not.... who knows. it will change within the hour#i do appreciate when people compliment my art style tho even tho its not something i really try to do#because while i dont try to make things look a certain way - recently i had decided to not hold back on my dysgraphic nature#i probably talked about it before. instead of painfully agonizing and trying to get a line perfect and scrapping a whole drawing because#of the hand-got-tired-after-2-lines jerks and wiggles i just decided to leave that all in. show off the drawing even if its scribbly#the other day i got a compliment saying my art style is robust. im not sure i fully grasp what that means but i really like that compliment#its very evocative. robust..... gonna be thinking about it for a while#but im not joking about the academia thing professors get so baffled by some of my drawing choices and like i straight up tell them#these are habits of children largely. children on early internet in my case that i never grew out of but also habits that children still us#go on an art website and sort by new and look up fanart for something popular with kids and you'll probably see someone doing#stuff with similar artistic choices. maybe not the same because i am 26. but similar. coming from similar places.#they always laugh and seem to think im being humble or making a joke.... im not orz im not trying to downplay my skills either#if anything im trying to bring up the skills of a thousand children uploading oc art every moment of every day.... they are out there...#yeah i dunno its funny these different relationships im having to different art worlds. in the end i will always probably be a tiny bit#outside of them all as some kind of alien or creature masquerading as human but i think thats what we're all doing after all
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arthur update #5
so.. he couldn't come home
there was a bit of a step back in our "three steps forwad"
he was initially peeing on his own pretty fine, but later in the day they noticed his bladder was starting to get a bit harder and he was starting to have to strain to pee
so they put him on a muscle relaxer and an anti-nausea medicine (bc he hasn't really wanted to eat much and nausea could be why. the vet said it's pretty normal for cats in his situation so she's not worried about the eating part) and they'll continue to give him fluids and flush out his system and, if necessary, re-catheter him during the overnight shift. they said they'd text me if they had to do that though and i haven't gotten anything. they said if i didn't hear from them overnight that meant they didn't have to re-catheter and they'd text me in the morning with an update
if they can't get him in a better way relatively soon they talked to me about surgery options, which could cause a different set of problems but would take care of the current problem. they'd kind of have to trans my cat somewhat, is how i'm choosing to phrase it. i don't wanna think about surgery but it's good to know there are options if the current treatment doesn't fully work
now. they've always asked for permission before doing something different or making him stay longer, which is appreciated, but i have told them every time that they can do whatever they gotta to get my baby all better. yeah the cost is getting bananas but i'm not half-assing this. especially now that so much has been done, it would be a failure on my end as a cat mom to give up. and he deserves the best
so..
our bill started in the 2,800$ to like.. 3,500$ (idr the exact high-end number) range and we're now around 6,000$ because his situation was so severe, and it's being a bit of a bitch even as he continues to improve, so he's had to stay longer than anticipated and y'know.. i just love how emergency vet care is like going to a human hospital with shit / no healthcare. love that for all of us /s ❤️
arthur update (provided voice-to-text, lightly edited so there are less random pauses and 'um's lmao)
The emergency vet just called me with an update on Arthur.
They got him unblocked. He had elevated kidney enzyme levels. There are 2 parts to the levels. One was SO high their machine couldn't even read it, and the second one was supposed to be at 2 and was actually at 9. And his urine was, and still is, bloody, and the crystal and debris in it was very noticeable. It was like sand is what the vet said, so absolutely horrific.
They're going to do a blood work retest around 1 AM it sounds like. They said they would call at that time with an update or wait till morning. I said, "Absolutely call me back in the middle of the night. That is fine" I want to know how he's doing and the quicker I get any updates the better
But for today it will be pretty boring updates, or no news is good news, although they said I can call them myself if I want an update in the middle of the day.
So that's the update on him. Oh and I guess he isn't up to eating yet, but they've got him on pain meds, so he's just kinda vibin right now.
This whole ordeal is expensive (i'm sure a lot of that fact comes down to how bad it got and the fact that it's a 24hr emergency place and not our regular vet) but I'd do anything for any of my babies so it's fine. I had to apply for carecredit to cover half (bc you have to pay the minimum balance in full day-of, and their gold standard care for this sort of thing WAS the minimum cost, so we had to pay it all. yeah. they don't do payment plans, but you CAN cobble together a way to pay like using multiple cards from different people so god bless for that or we'd have been kinda fucked.)
2,886.50$ was the total (the cents might be off a little) so guess it's gonna be a bit before we can get any of the others through the regular vet like i've been wanting to (for checkups) which sucks but this was necessary so /shrug
merlin has come to lay on my arm and vibrate, but once he moves i'm gonna try to get up (even though i'm still tired af my brain and body are too restless)
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I want someone to love me quietly and loudly at the same time because Im an idiot
#mine#words#human#love#someone unashamed of loving me#someone free to love me and choose me#someone who loves me with every blink#a love radiating from them surrounding me like a blanket making sure i feel it because im an idiot#because im an idiot#clown#feelings#thoughts#love comes in many forms and i dont want this to be romantic only#my friends are loving me openly and casually w lil care packages and notes for me with videos they send me with “ill sit w you”s &“i listen#with “your feelings are valid” “youre being hard to yourself so im being even softer” with “hey do you wanna play sth”#with “wanna body double” and “i rmb you like this” “have you eaten yet” “can i give you a hug”#with “my treat this time” and “can i come visit you” with “missing you” and “we share this part of life”#with “hey this reminded me of you” and “i dont need this but i thought you could” with “what have you been up to” and#with “do you wanna go there together” and “im getting [food/drink] you want some as well?”#with “i can pretend to be your waifu and help with chores” and “lets cook together” with “lets go on a walk together”#with “tell me when youre home” with “take care” and “enjoy!” with “hows your day been” “howd you sleep”#with “tell me about your dream last night” “show me your outfit” with “how are you” and “i can explain it to you again” with “i'll wait”#with “nice to hear from you again” and “i try to understand” with “im glad a late answer is better than none from you”#with “you cannot see your own effort but i can” with “how can i help you” and “just wanted to see/hear you” with “hey take this food w you”#with “i dont mind doing that for you” with ┌|∵|┐┌|∵|┐when seeing each other on the streets#every lil whimsical every experience thought and feeling shared#im immensely loved and i hope those people know and feel how i see appreciate and love them back#i am loved already#my friends make sure that i do not accept any less love expression and im endlessly grateful for them#“i will try for you” “i'll try remind you” “i can wake you up” this all will get its own post one day
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me: I’m fine
me, 10 seconds later: the Greywaren mind meld was sooo stupid and the worst part of it is that device Could have been implemented without it feeling like a total cop out if it was say, characters having an actual argument/conflict in some type of dream space, alternate version of reality each others memories etc. if we were actually tracking them through all that and not just “they were wanted…” as the resolution … the actuality of it was just lazy.
#and I disrespect it even more w the context it was probably not the planned storyline and actually a response to fans being annoying.#feels very ‘well if some of you are going to complain about any interesting conflict I guess I’ll remove any of that from the storyline the#fuck you.’#(I have other longstanding feelings about how she would clearly hate certain fan takes so much but then still be clearly influenced by them#/ write in response. I think that impacted late trc a little and then definitely late td3)#s speaks#fandom wank#don’t get me wrong the stans telling her she hated Adam for writing him the way she did in MI and/or begging her not to make Pynch fight#were so. I’m deeply judgmental of them#you don’t want your otp to fight and have angst I can not relate#and my issues w the Adam content in td3 are about the arc resolution lacking + lack of page time to explore the arc + narrative framing#it’s not about anything being ‘ooc’ for him all his freak behavior is perfectly in character I just wish it was given it’s due#but like. this is not a fun type of petty writing to me#first of all I’m pretty sure in this case the fans with stupid takes actually liked this ending it’s the rest of us who have to suffer#although. do think there was a silver lining in a fandom sense where this caused some retroactive appreciation for messy conflicts in#previous books
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today my computer has felt in a pranksty mood ! it felt funny and goofy and decided to not let me save anything and when i tried to open my file it said it was corrupted or didnt exist...☺️☺️ hours... of work...☺️☺️ and just a few days ago it deleted multiple hours of work on another file ! ☺️☺️
dear computer🩷 i will put you in the microwave throw you at a wall and crush you
#not art#i simply do not because its the only thing i have to draw digitally#(drawing with finger is physically crippling . genuinely cannot do it anymore)#once i get a replacement i will do all of the things listed#i would be more appreciative if this thing was like. old. no. its been like this since brand new isnt that lovely#truly my favorite part of eveyday. being delayed by hours of work because computer felt funny🥺🥺/s#if i didnt save my files to a cloud server constantly i would cry myself to sleep thankfully all of these damages were fizable#but still a hassle WHEN I ACCIDENTALLY FORGET TO UPLOAD IT BECAUSE IM IN FOCUS#god forbid i trust my computer with any of my files#its a miracle it even runs clip studio paint#it fights to do basic tasks#previous computer of previous specs could do all of them well btw not an issue by the specs ITS TBE COMPUTER!!!!#random rant but as equally as i share with yall the joys of art. i will share with you the rage towards the machine i make art with#(computer) (because tablet counts as machine probably i do love you always graphic tablet. you could do no wrong baby)#YEAH MY COMPUTER ALSO MESSES WITH MY TABLET'S DRIVER SABOTAGING MY DAUGHTER#LEAVE HER ALONE#my daughter the graphic tablet and her brother the computer#computer does not get son title#funny thing all the files are on a separate usb because the computer is so bad it cant have anything on its actual system#YET IT STILL PLAYIN WITH IT LEAVE IT ALONE?????
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and also it doesnt even matter if i miraculously get a job tmrw bc we don't have a car . and im too out of shape to walk anywhere bc everything is far away . so i genuinely dont jnow what to do
#im not smart or talented or hot enough to have a source of income working from home.#i dont have a ged or a kicense or a way to get to work or much experience + ive got a steadily fucking growing gap in my employment history.#And i have essentially 0 social skills i barely Function half the time im dissociated or just crying. im weak and out of shape and#not pretty im like. unhireable i think . and again even if a place did hire me I dont have a way to fucking get 2 work#i might be able to walk 2 a place if i had been at work for a while bc if be more used to being on my feet and active again. its take a#while and id be in a Lot of pain but like. itd be doable. and once i worked for s bit i could get lyfts even tho Expensive also idk that#there as many drivers here. and wtvr. but if i did that itd be Less money to help my family and less money to save up toget my own place and#atp maybe its selfish of me to want my own place and i need to judt be more grateful im allowed 2 stay here . yk#idk. im so tired i just need like. idk. ik the only way is to just get through it and get a job and make it work but it feels so pointless#everything always does. i cant keep getting over hurdles man im so fucking tired of getting through hurdles#every single day is Difficult and every single day is the Same and any time j manage to have a good day ill just go right back to feeling#exactly the same. and even if it looks like everythings better for a bit it all goes back down eventually and ik im supposed to be like But#itll get better again after that <3 ups and downs are a part of life <3 we have to have the bad to appreciate the good <3 im just fucking#sick of the goddamn bad im fucking sick of it ive had enough bad i want good. ik other ppl deserve it more i want everybody to have good#days and be safe and happy i don't want things to keep getting worse but everything just gets worse and all the good parts r tempirary and#im so tired. I am not your strongest soldier bro !!!#idk. i just want to be atable i dont need anything crazy i just want my family to live comfortably and to have enough money that i can#donate i rly donot need much i dont need that much food 2 survive i dont need a ton of space i dont need a nide house i like. i just want to#be Stable and know that everything will be ok. yk. at least 4 my family i want them all to be able to eat and the bills 2 be paid and#hopefully for lamp and the kids 2 go to college. bc lamp and tag both want to go to college and itsy is 6 so he soesnt care#but i want them to be able to so bad bc i can't and i ws never gonna be able to and i dont get to be whiny abt that but like. they want to#and theyre smart and passionate and like. i want them to be able to achieve their dreams and get to have normal lives and be fulfilled and#happy. yk. idk. annie showed me her schoolwork the other day and since it wa first week at like. an alt school it ws a lot of personality#type stuff and mental health stuff and im not gonna get into it bc its not mine to tell but. their answers for one of the things made me so#upset bc it sounded so much like me when i was their age and even now and it makes me feel so guilty that like. i didnt make it better for#them. im the one whos supposed to endure it and then theyre supposed to get to be happy but im too fuckinf weak nowadays and i can't keep#any of them safe or happy and i feel so insanely useless. i hate it i just want to be useful idc anymore like. i want to be good i want to#be helpful i want to be cared abt and its so selfish bc a part of me is like. Ohh wahhh we shouldnr have to do all that to be cared abt wahh#and its dumb bc Yes i do its my job. it just fucking sucks rn bc like i have all the like. sorrow over this being what i have to do and this#is my lot in life but i also have all the guilt over how im not doing it bc km lazy and selfish and i cant just work bc im . Ugh
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