#and it’s like PJ DID NOT DO A CANON ELROND

[mihrsuri]

My possibly unpopular salty Legendarium opinion is obviously that Jackson!Elrond is not my Elrond.

[glitteringaglarond]

How I would rewrite the LOTR movies aka my thesis statement in fixing what they did to Faramir (and others):

They should have been exactly like the books.

Aaaaand post.

But no I actually want to put some thought into this, because I truly hold that even with (most of) the changes, the PJ LOTR movies are truly works of art. I want to explore the idea of how to rewrite them within the framework of what they are, although obviously pulling from the books. A lot of this is an exercise in reframing movie scenes in order to better match book characterization.

My restraints are not to add something without taking out something of equal or similar length (with the exception of adding just one or two lines to a scene). For example, I could add in Tom Bombadil but then would probably have to take out Caradhras. But also if I wanted to include Eowyn's entire speech to the Witch King I wouldn't need to take anything out to do it.

I'm also not going to be sticking 100% to the books either. There are moments that will basically be "this isn't canon either, but it's closer to canon, and doesn't ruin this character in the process".

So let's do this!

The Fellowship of the Ring:

The first movie is, in my opinion, adaptationally the best of the three. There is a lot of excellent stuff that is cut out (Merry organizing the Conspiracy to smuggle Frodo out of the Shire, Tom Bombadil, Glorfindel, etc.), but all in all I would not change much of it.

Key word: Much

The two characters in the FOTR movie that I would tweak slightly, while still fitting within the time, structure, and pacing constraints of the movie, are Aragorn and Elrond.

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So we get to our first change: the infamous "men are weak" scene between Elrond and Gandalf. Because we all know that Elrond Peredhel, beloved brother of Elros Tar-Minyatur, foster father of Elessar Telcontar, and lore-master of all people, would never hold that opinion. So instead, I want to reframe this conversation.

Instead of being bitter and angry, I want Elrond to be sad. Instead of "men are weak" I want "What is the strength of even the men of Gondor against the power of the Ring," before going into a flashback where he watched Isildur take the Ring and made the mistake of not recognizing it. Frame it as building up the deceptive power of the Ring (which will then come into play later with how it fools Boromir), and how because of this mistake the power of the Ring overcame the strength of Men. "I was there, Gandalf. I was there 3,000 years ago when the strength of men was usurped by darkness. I was there when the shadow began to grow anew, in the same moment it was vanquished, and I could not recognize it."

(you get the idea).

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So now that we've changed Elrond, the changes to Aragorn's character that ostensibly come from the self-doubt he grew up because of movie!Elrond's "men are weak" policy need fixed as well.

Again, without just making movie!Aragorn into book!Aragorn, but just creating something within the movie framework that is more aligned with book!Aragorn, I suggest the following.

The scene with Boromir is mostly fine, so I shall leave it as is. The changes I make will happen when Arwen shows up and in his conversation with her. Her "Why do you fear the past..." will not be answered with "the same blood flows in my veins - same weakness" but rather "The very darkness that destroyed Isildur is growing. I have spent countless years being hunted by it, and now I must face it head-on", (implying that's what his fear is) which ties in rather perfectly with her "The Shadow does not hold sway yet; not over you and not over me." Thus we still get the impression that she is older and wiser than him, and even allowing him some level of vulnerability that he doesn't really have in the book, without removing his greatness.

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One final scene I would re-frame is the conversation between Elrond and Aragorn at Gilraen's memorial.

First of all, while I wholeheartedly accept that there is a memorial to Gilraen in Rivendell, I refuse to believe that it would be allowed to be so un-tended that Aragorn literally has to wipe off leaves and dirt.

Secondly, I want Elrond to be there first, and for Aragorn to join him. Elrond has been sitting beside the memorial of his old friend, because the return of Aragorn makes him miss her all the more keenly. "She wanted to protect her child..." etc. is a decent bit of dialogue and I would keep it as is. But now I'm making a change.

Elrond: "She knew in Rivendell you would be safe. In her heart, your mother knew your road would be full of peril if you were ever to come to the light at the end of the darkness."

Aragorn: "A light she could not find the hope to survive long enough to see."

Allow this to sit between them for a moment, before having Elrond ask a question: "And do you have the hope needed to find that light, Estel my son?"

This does multiple things. 1) It frames Aragorn's future as a choice. One he has already made in the book, but a choice I don't see a problem with making part of the main plot. It's no longer about not wanting "that power" or his fate, but rather whether or not he has the necessary hope to see it through (spoiler alert: he does). 2) It establishes the father/son bond the two of them have 3) It name-drops Estel. Which I love for reasons.

This would then cut to Anduril being re-forged, and Aragorn would have it throughout the entire rest of the movies.

Because I have now added something, I must take something away. Obviously, because Aragorn is no longer hiding from his destiny, we can take away the "you are afraid... scared of who you are, of what you are" scene between him and Boromir.

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Other than that, the only real changes I would make are let Aragorn be a little bit more involved in choosing their course. I'm fine with Gandalf being the one not to want to go to Moria, but Aragorn should suggest it as an alternate route instead of Gimli.

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The Two Towers:

I want to change just about everything about this movie, as it's the worst of the three adaptation wise. However, I am still going to stick to the general constraints of pacing and structure of the movie.

To continue on from the changes to FOTR, I'm going to talk first about how the changes to Elrond and Aragorn will have an impact on TTT.

First of all, Aragorn will be walking forward with the weight of his legacy on his shoulders and will act accordingly. This includes being dramatic about being told to leave Anduril at the door before going in to see Theoden.

Most of the whole "I do not want that power" plot is absent in this movie, but the dynamic between Elrond and Aragorn in those flashbacks would be massively different because of the changes I've made to FOTR.

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First, a minor change to the Aragorn/Arwen flashback. I don't want Aragorn filled with as much doubt as he is in the movie. Instead of "You must go with Frodo; this is your path" "My path is hidden from me..." "It is already laid before your feet, I want to reframe their conversation slightly.

Arwen: "You must go with Frodo and follow the path you have chosen. Follow your path through the shadow, to the light."

Aragorn: "And if the shadow proves stronger than the light?"

Arwen: "That is yet to be seen, but you cannot falter now."

And then we can keep the lines about "If you trust nothing else trust this... trust us" because my romantic heart loves them.

Once again, it reframes this into being about Aragorn knowing that his role is to be one of Hope that will bring about light after the darkness, but because his mother has just died, and very explicitly without any hope, he is allowing himself to privately express doubts. But it still does not take away from his greatness.

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Next is a change to the Elrond and Aragorn scene where he basically tells him Arwen is leaving and that's final. I feel I must repeat, this exercise is not me making everything like it was in the book, but rather making small changes that bring the movies closer to what they should have been while still sticking to the structure and pacing provided.

Once again, this is a reframe, and not getting rid of it entirely, because to stick with the structure we do need Arwen to start to leave.

Elrond: "Our time here is ending. My time is ending. Soon I will sail away to the Undying Lands and leave much that I love behind me - including you, Aragorn. Do not ask me to leave behind my daughter as well."

Aragorn: "You know that choice does not belong to me."

Elrond: "Her choice depends on you, Aragorn. Should you come to the light at the end of the shadow and take her hand, you will bring to me a bitter parting - one of the bitterest I have faced. And still, you will not spare her the grief that mortality ends in."

Once again, Aragorn won't really answer Elrond, but their conversation hangs heavily in the air between them. When he goes in to speak to Arwen, instead of trying to sneak off like in the movie, I would now reframe it to echo the conversation he just had with Elrond.

Aragorn: "You have a chance for another life. Away from war... grief... despair. A life where the bitterness of partings will not weigh heavily on you."

Arwen: "Why are you saying this? I made my choice long ago, to accept both the bitter and the sweet."

Aragorn: "But what of the griefs you force others to bear? Can we really inflict this sorrow on Elrond? On your own mother, who even now awaits you?"

Arwen: "Would you have me depart, Estel?"

And then cut out of this scene to the one in the movie where Eowyn is asking about Arwen, and have Aragorn answer "she is sailing to the undying lands."

Again, it's not exactly like the books, but it's much less "Dad doesn't approve of his daughter's choice in boyfriend" and more "This choice that they are making is one that brings as much grief as it does happiness". Also, it allows for another name drop of Estel. Which I love. For reasons.

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Shockingly, I would not change very much about everything going on in Rohan. Because the whole under-a-spell thing going on with movie!Theoden is easier for a general audience to understand, I would keep it. However, I would change Theoden going against Gandalf's advice to go to Helm's Deep. I would have Gandalf suggest going there, as in the books, and Theoden agreeing to do it.

I would also get rid of the entire Aragorn-falling-off-a-cliff side plot, and replace it with some Eowyn material.

Before Theoden departs to Helm's Deep Eowyn, of course, expresses her desire to join them. Instead he orders her to stay behind and rule Edoras, and we get a scene of her being dressed in armor and knighted. This makes it clear that while she is being left behind, her duty to Edoras is deemed just as important as Theoden's duty to Helm's Deep, even if it's something that irks her.

(obviously Eowyn not traveling to Helm's Deep changes the framing of her conversation with Aragorn about Arwen, but they can have this conversation as he is getting ready to depart).

I would also change the elves coming to Helm's Deep to the arrival of the Dunedain. Yes, this is a little bit before when they were supposed to show up in the book, but it that's a smaller change than bringing in a bunch of elves. We can also have Halbarad die here instead of at the Battle of the Pelennor Fields, as opposed to Haldir meeting his end.

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You all know the point of this exercise all comes down to what Peter Jackson did to Faramir, so let's talk about Faramir.

Objectively, the Osgiliath plot fulfills two purposes: 1) it extends Frodo and Sam's story, which in the book is much shorter than everybody else's story, so that they can still get about as much screentime as everybody else as each movie progresses and 2) it clues people in on what is happening in Osgiliath and in Gondor in general.

So let's fulfill these purposes without completely ruining Faramir.

First of all, instead of Faramir having his men bind Frodo and Sam's hands when he's taking them to Henneth Annun he tells them "Bind their eyes as we lead them onward - we must keep our secret paths a secret". This immediately keeps the momentum going, but instead of framing him as somebody who has the possibility of having a cruel streak (as is later proven true in the movie by him having an emaciated halfling brutally beaten), it shows that he's very practical in these dark times, but not cruel.

When Faramir mentions that Boromir is his brother go ahead and have both the flashback to his vision of the boat, as well as to him and Boromir at Osgiliath. However, we are getting rid of the retcon that ruins Boromir's motivations/character, and is part of everything going sideways with how the movies portray the line of Stewards. Instead of a victory speech after retaking Osgiliath, have the flashback show Faramir and Boromir fighting side-by-side, and being unable to stop the Nine from crossing over the bridge and then riding off into the distance. (Towards the Shire, being inferred). And when the Nine pass over safely, most of the forces draw back. So it becomes a victory, but a very cautious, uncertain, terrifying victory.

Give Boromir a moment where a young soldier, barely more than a boy, dies in his arms. This then ties in to how close he was to the Hobbits and how willing he was to die for them. When the boy dies, have Faramir pull Boromir to his feet and comfort him, showing that while Boromir is the support for the soldiers - Faramir is the support for Boromir. After taking a moment to compose himself, have Boromir joke about how he's not sure how he'll manage without Faramir when he leaves for Rivendell to get counsel from Elrond in the morning, and then switch back to the present.

This will be longer than the flashback in the movie, but now we don't need Faramir to take Frodo and Sam to Osgiliath to get an idea of what's happening there.

Now we have started establishing the kind of person that Faramir is, even if it's not completely book accurate, and can keep moving forward.

We will keep the sequence of flashback -> catch Gollum -> conversation with Frodo and Sam, instead of having the conversation where he finds out about the Ring before catching Gollum, but we will still change things a little bit. Namely: completely get rid of the scene where Faramir has an emaciated halfling cruelly beaten.

After catching Gollum, Faramir talks with Frodo and Sam. We're going to let him have a little bit more information than he does in the books, and he is able to guess who and what Gollum is.

Faramir: "Gandalf came to Minas Tirith searching for answers not long ago. It seems to me you two and your companion spell out the question he wanted the answers for. I do not doubt that Fate has bound you with the errand of my brother, who went in search of answers about Isildur's Bane."

Frodo: "Your guess is close to the mark, Faramir, but I am bound to secrecy and cannot say more."

Faramir then pieces the rest of it together and guesses that Frodo's burden is the Ring, and then says something to echo Boromir's words when he tried to take the Ring - which terrifies Frodo. "So your Burden is the weapon of the enemy, and you are traveling towards Mordor. Will you then destroy it? Is that your purpose? Deprive these lands of a powerful weapon?"

And of course Frodo and Sam do not trust Faramir. They've known him for a single day, so they jump back and draw their swords, but Faramir waves them down. "Put down your swords. I am wise enough to know that there are some perils from which a man must flee. Sit at peace! I would not pick up this thing and use it if I found it by the roadside - I know too well of the darkness, and do not doubt that the Ring would destroy all light, no matter who wielded it."

(Again. Not as good as book!Faramir, and we don't really get him realizing what happened between Frodo and Boromir, but certainly better than what the movie gave us.)

Also keep this entire conversation, because it's beautiful:

'Well, Frodo, now at last we understand one another,' said Faramir. 'If you took this thing on yourself, unwilling, at others' asking, then you have pity and honour from me. And I marvel at you: to keep it hid and not to use it. You are a new people and a new world to me. Are all your kin of like sort? Your land must be a realm of peace and content, and there must gardeners be in high honour.'   'Not all is well there,' said Frodo, 'but certainly gardeners are honoured.'

But now we run into a problem, in regards to the two reasons mentioned above as to why the Osgiliath arc was included: even with the extended flashback sequence, this still is not quite as long as what it needs to be to extend this portion of the story to match what's going on with the rest of the Company.

It's closer to the mark, but if we want to end Frodo and Sam's portion of the story at the end of the movie to them walking together at the edge of Ithilien after leaving Faramir, this needs to be a bit longer.

So follow Faramir as he goes to Osgiliath, departing from Frodo and Sam in friendship. Have him escort them as far as their paths coincide, and then leave them behind to go to Osgiliath. And have Sam say something about "He's like Boromir, this Faramir is. Only... only different" and have Frodo somberly agree.

Then have a scene with Faramir at Osgiliath, tension heavy in the air because they know another attack will come soon, and they only won the last attack because the enemy drew back. This will be intercut with the victory at Helm's Deep, and Sam's "folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't" speech.

Then we can get the scene of Gandalf, Theoden, Aragorn, Legolas, and Eomer's stunt double looking out in the direction of Mordor, and then cut back to Frodo and Sam with their "will we ever be put in songs or tales" conversation.

And there we go! We killed some time, didn't destroy Faramir, Boromir, or Denethor, and got to understand what's happening in Osgiliath a little bit better.

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Also, as it's relevant to mention this now, change the majority of Galadriel's voiceover at the start of the stuff with Faramir, because most of it sets up the arrival of the elves to Helm's Deep and the ruining of Faramir. Because the movies have established a connection between Arwen and Frodo, with Arwen taking Glorfindel's place, have the mental conversation be between Galadriel and Arwen, not Elrond. During this conversation Galadriel can talk about "the strength of the ringbearer is fading", but also talk about how Sauron's darkness is growing and hope dims. Imply that Galadriel's words, along with Arwen's conversation with Aragorn, is part of what convinces her to leave. So basically make the conversation about Frodo, Aragorn, and Arwen, and not about... ruining Faramir.

And then related to this, in the scene in the movie where Elrond talks about the future and Aragorn's death, I want to make a couple of changes. Arwen has had the mental conversation with Galadriel, and is now nearly convinced to leave. So she asks Elrond... what would my future be if I were to stay? And he tells her - similarly to what he tells her in the actual scene. And this, knowing the grief she will bring to her family and that she will not, in the end, escape herself, is what makes her choose to leave.

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One more change I would make is that the Ents decide at Entmoot to attack Saruman. Merry and Pippin helping convince them with the whole "the closer we are to danger the farther we are from harm" bit added very little time to the movie. And while that line is fantastic, I would rather see the Ent's come away from their entmoot singing and booming like drums.

Also, don't make Gimli the butt of the jokes, and give him his angsty but badass Helm's Deep injury.

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The Return of the King

A lot of the first bit of this move I'll leave mostly untouched. As much as I'm sad we don't get the scouring of the Shire I get why it wasn't included, so Saruman dies at the beginning of ROTK. Arwen also chooses to stay in Middle Earth after having a vision of Eldarion, and yes... even the bit with Gandalf taking Pippin to Minas Tirith because Sauron thinks he has the Ring. Although I will change what exactly it is that Pippin saw, and instead just make it that he was questioned by Sauron. And now they have to get him to Minas Tirith so that he's safe behind those strong walls before a Nazgul can get to them. (this can even be where we include an alteration of "the closer we are to danger, the farther we are from harm" line, because if they're riding for Minas Tirith they're actually getting closer to Sauron).

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The first major change (if I'm remembering the sequence of the movie correctly) is the scene where Elrond brings Anduril to Aragorn. Because remember, in my rewrite he has it from the time they leave Rivendell.

Instead of Elrond showing up with the sword, we'll have Arwen show up with the standard that she made for Aragorn and with a message from Galadriel, reminding Aragorn of the Paths of the Dead. Aragorn travels with her, Legolas, Gimli, and the Dunedain (who remember showed up at Helm's Deep in my rewrite) on that road.

I would also change absolutely everything that makes the Paths of the Dead humorous, absolutely including Gimli blowing away ghosts. It's going to be exactly like stepping into a horror movie. We also will not see them get to the ships, because I want the arrival of the ships at Pelennor Fields to be a moment of horror and doom until Aragorn is revealed to be on them.

When they arrive at Pelennor Fields, Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, Arwen, and the Dunedain attack and kill orcs, while the ghosts are merely helpful in frightening them. They might not be able to be killed, but they can't kill foes either. They can just get them to drop their weapons so our heroes can kill them without any trouble.

Arwen can also continue traveling with Aragorn everywhere he goes, and can be part of the final battle at the Black Gate.

(again, not exactly like the books, but more in line than what we got while still sticking to the pacing and structure provided in the movies).

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Denethor is the other major thing I would change, predictably.

First of all, like in the books I would have Pippin and Gandalf see the beacons have been lit as they ride towards Minas Tirith, which increases Gandalf's fears. This, however, means we don't get the scene where Pippin has to light the beacon, so I'm replacing that with something else.

After the initial conversation with Denethor, which will automatically be a bit different because Denethor has already lit the beacons, but which will include Pippin offering his service, Gandalf and Pippin talk. Gandalf says Denethor is very wise and very powerful, but he fears how he came to have the information he has. Because Aragorn has not yet revealed himself. While this conversation with Pippin is going on, show Denethor in his tower with a Palantir, watching as Sauron's armies move slowly across Middle Earth and towards Osgiliath.

Cut to Faramir in Osgiliath, and the attack/retreat towards Minas Tirith.

Slightly reframe the scene with Faramir and Denethor, and make it clear that Denethor is so upset about Faramir sending Frodo towards Mordor with the Ring because he knows some of what is coming. "You did what you deem to be right, and yet you are sending a halfling alone to confront an entire army. He will fail, and all will fall."

Also don't make the ride on Osgiliath a suicide run, but an actual strategic move to buy time for Rohan to come.

Then when Faramir is injured, give Denethor another scene in his tower with the Palantir. This time, instead of just watching, have him seem to truly try to force more information out of it... and he catches Sauron's eye. "You think these armies are all you need to worry about? You know nothing. Hope is ended, and only time stands between you and death", he hears in his head as Sauron forces him to look upon the black ships, the massive armies, and Osgiliath smoking in ruin.

And that is when he goes truly insane.

Finally, instead of running a 5k off the wall, when Gandalf saves Faramir from the pyre, have Denethor pull out the Palantir and give Gandalf an echo of Sauron's words. "Hope is ended, and only time stands between us and death. So I choose my own time" before lying down on the pyre and burning, due to the oil poured all over himself, before anybody has the chance to save him.

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Frodo. Never. Tells. Sam. To. Leave.

We can extend their stay in Mordor a little bit to make up for it, time-wise. After they escape from that party of orcs they get caught up in, give them one last encounter with a couple of orcs deserters. The deserters see the two of them and try to kill them, but Sam fends them off. This encounter has an upside and a downside. The upside: these orcs had water, so now Frodo and Sam have more than they did before. The downside: they are now even more exhausted then they were before.

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Actually give Faramir and Eowyn more time in the Houses of Healing to make the movie romance work. Partially fixing Faramir's character goes a long way in making it work better now, but one scene where they stare at each other is Not Enough.

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Not all of this is perfect, of course, but that's how I would effect a rewrite of the PJ LOTR movies without massively changing the basic pacing, structure, and scene-placement that we were given.

If you made it to the end, what do you think? Is this better or worse than what we got?

[katerina-q]

So, about Rings of Power:

-Galadriel is unlikeable. Arrogant, abrasive and boring asf. Even Sauron is more likeable than her. Wtf writers? Give us the REAL Galadriel back. And do not use "character development" as an excuse. She's 6000 year old for fuck's sake....

-Both Sauron and Celebrimbor should have looked more like this

The fact that Thranduil is hottest than both of them is hilarious.

I mean, Charlie Vickers is fine, but Celebrimbor is totally miscast. Old, short hair....wut? They did the elves dirty in this show.

-Sauron should have seduced Celebrimbor, not Galadriel. WHY WRITERS? WHY THEY'VE ERASED THE SAURON/CELEBRIMBOR STORYLINE AND THEY GAVE US THIS FANFICTION WITH GALADRIEL, THE ONLY CHARACTER THAT SAURON WASN'T ABLE TO DECEIVE IN THE BOOKS?

I'm so mad :/

-Elrond, Adar and Sauron are the best characters in the show.

The show is 50/50. Enjoyable, but the writing in general is really bad and some dialogues are cringe. Nothing compared to PJ trilogy. I hope that season 2 is gonna be better and more canon with the books.

[peregrintook]

would you recommend trop now? 👀

Listen.... LISTEN ANON!!!!! 😭

Do you want the short or the long answer?

The short one is yes.

The long one is .... under the cut. 😂

The long one I think is still basically yes but it depends so strongly on what you want from it!

Do you want a faithful to canon lore accurate Silmarillion (first/second age) adaption? And is that the only thing you want and will you be upset fi it is anything different? Then probably don't watch it.

But. BUT!

If you're open to some changes and some creativity then give it a CHANCE.

Because I was so sceptical and so critical and pretty much convinced I wasn't going to like it and I'd only watch the first episode just so I'd be able to complain about it later.

And don't get me wrong there are still a bunch of things in there that I'm not really happy with but.. honestly the things they did right make up for it.

First of all it's absolutely visually stunning. The costumes, the locations, it's GORGEOUS. Lindon especially, and Khazad Dum, and Numenor, and if middle-earth means as much to you as it does to me then you will WEEP seeing these locations on screen.

And then the characters!! Sure, I can't say I'm a big fan of rop Galadriel (yet) but - listen, this is only season 1, she may yet get a whole lot of character development. BUT THERE ARE SO MANY OTHERS.

You all know I'm absolutely obsessed with rop Elrond. Even though when they released the promo pictures of the cast first I was like ??? Who this ??? This not Elrond ??? BUT YES HE IS. This Elrond is so wise and so good and so noble and so calm and just so COMFORTING. KIND AS SUMMER INDEED!!! Seriously, give Robert Aramayo one minute of your time to convince you of his acting skills and you'll never doubt him again. This man knows what he's doing.

But moving on to less obvious opinions - Durin!!! He has a huge heart like. Pats him on the head this short man can fit so much love. He's just so GENUINE and soft and good and loyal and brave and mischievous and WONDERFUL. and so is Disa! Am I still annoyed that she doesn't have a beard? Yes, a bit, but look she has a LITTLE bit of a beard, and anyway she doesn't need one. She's amazing. She's wonderful and lovely and wise and kind and good and fiery and passionate and supportive and accepting and she's a mother and a princess and a resonator and a friend and a mediator and I just love her SO MUCH.

And Arondir is wonderful too, I'm SO annoyed that his character (and actor!) are getting so much hate just for his skin color and because he's an original character, like ??? It doesn't MATTER, he's LOVELY. Sure he doesn't look like your generic white skinned long haired PJ movies elf but he doesn't have to! He's BEAUTIFUL and he's an elf and he's a wonderful character with so much love and compassion and goodness in his heart, he just wants to save as much of the world as he possibly can, he just wants to do GOOD.

Which reminds me - Nori!!! Nori is very similar to Arondir actually, I think, just more innocent and naive - understandably because she is MUCH younger, but still - all she wants to do it do something good, something that matters.

If you haven't noticed a theme by now, let me point it out to you: there is so much goodness in this show. And I find that so fucking refreshing. Because after GoT and all the "ThE nExT GoT" we got over the last few years I have been getting seriously tired of grimdark pessimistic "blabla this is realistic because everything sucks and nobody is actually good everybody is ultimately selfish" bullcrap. No offense to GoT fans, I know that's not ALL got is and I'm sure the books are better about it (I haven't read past the first one because I don't do well with too many POVs!), but there's just been this increase of demand or expectation for violence and cynicism and bitterness (and also lots and lots of sex for some reason) in high fantasy lately - and ROP doesn't do that. ROP says we're here to be good to each other. We're here to treat each other kindly. We don't want to give the darkness even a chance, not out there, and not in ourselves. We care about each other and we work together and that is how we win, ultimately.

I think this theme is strongest in the arcs of Durin and Elrond, and Nori, and Arondir so far - which is why they're my favorites - it's less apparent in Galadriel and Halbrand and Miriel's part of the story yet, but I have a feeling it will be eventually. Galadriel is already learning, she's already changed from episode 1. She'll get there. And look at the Harfoots - going from "you're going to the end of the caravan and if you can't keep up that's goodbye then i guess" to "what's the point of living if we can't live good"?? FUCK, MAN. SHE'S RIGHT. What WOULD be the point??

GOD I could go on but I have to get something to eat so I'll stop here but feel free to comment because I'd LOVE to discuss rop with you all!! <33

[telewaywashere]

My take on the Amazon RoP series

I wanted to like this show. I really did, but there’s just some things that aren’t worth supporting after a certain point. First? The VF article. They straight up call fans “trolls” for wanting a faithful adaptation. That is one of the dumbest business angles you can do with well beloved huge things like Hobbit/LotR/Silm. There’s millions of people all around the world of all walks of life who love this, and you go and call them “trolls”? Yeah. Not good. Yes, there’s a certain percentage (although small) that have an issue with race. Most of the fans however do NOT. No. We want to know why a dwarven female has thin, wispy sideburns instead of a glorious beard. We want to know why most, if not all the male elves, have short, modern hairdos. They can’t even do canon characters right. Galadriel with a sword and armor? This is a downgrade while trying to make her “badass”. She was so powerful, she could go on the battlefield without all that. Also the eight-point star on her armor? I can see why people are asking “Why is she wearing a Feanorian star??” I’m honestly just as concerned. Elrond’s “politically ambitious“? Excuse me? And with that hairdo? I am very afraid they’re going to turn him into Trump or something close enough. Then there’s the elf identified as Finrod recently. Please no. That elf was so freaking awesome, he challenged Sauron to a singing match. If you’ve read the books, or have done a quick google search (which is more research then the people at Amazon have done), you’ll see why people are freaking exploding at this. “But why are people so fussy about elf hair?” Simple. It made them stand out in the PJ films from the men. Give them short, modern haircuts, and it’s hard to tell them apart from humans. Also when you have to lift an elf’s hair to see if they have pointy ears or not (as seen in the trailer), you’re doing elves (especially Galadriel) wrong. She should be noticeable from a long distance away. Not up close.  ”But why are people so fussy about a female dwarf having a beard?” Again, simple. Right in the books, it basically says that dwarves of both genders have facial hair from the time of birth. And since this is supposed to be a princess, I expect her to have a better beard then the average dwarf, with metal, jewels, and other fine riches all braided in. Not this poor excuse of facial hair (where you have to alter the picture just to see that it’s there to begin with). And the family OCs...Why the hell does Isildur suddenly have a sister? What purpose could she possibly serve? Why does Galadriel suddenly have another brother named Adar (elvish for “Father” by the way)? Something tells me they’re not going to explain any of this and bitch the instant those of use who even know a tiny bit of the lore ask for their reasons. Just watch. They’re going do double down calling everyone “trolls” and other insults just because we want to know WHY. The way I see it, this is a dumpster fire that will continue to burn.

[symphonyofsilence]

Newsflash: specific elves having long hair doesn’t mean anyone else is wrong for not imagining that every elf has long hair. Not matching up with your personal vision doesn’t make something bad.

All the Noldor as described in "The Nature of Middle-earth", (like, directly, in the text, without any room for interpretation), and implied in the "People of Middle-earth”, and all the Teleri (& bear in mind that the Sindar originated from the Teleri) as per “Morgoth’s ring”, as you can read here, are not considered "specific". These are whole communities. It means that most, if not all of them, have to have long hair. The individuals that I brought as examples in that post just showed that when you pick up random elves of the bunch, they have long hair. Further evidence that all the elves had long hair (and it tracks, too. since the specific elves described are royalty, who had always influenced fashion.)

& MY personal vision would have real difficulty finding its way into Tolkien's books. What you would find in Tolkien's books, are Tolkien's personal visions. Which is, the canon.

PJ & all the fan artists don't make their elves long-haired according to MY personal vision.

Now if a few of the elves in the show had short hair, I personally wouldn't like it but I don't think it would have been a problem since it would have been established that the elves generally wear their hair long. but not EVERY-SINGLE-MALE-ELF except Gil-Galad! (Elrond,Celebrimbor, Finrod, random extras.)

That post that I'm sure you're talking about was strictly about the show, about how the fans of the show shouldn't say that Tolkien never said that the elves had long hair only because they hadn't read the parts where he did, or in general, don't make uninformed statements. It was in no way about the fans who imagine the elves with short hair. I would never presume to go on the internet and shout at people about how they can or can’t imagine fictional characters look! of course, the fans can imagine anyone however they want.

but if you’re a giant corporation adapting much-beloved works of the father of modern fantasy, making the most expensive show ever made, and claiming that you’ve stayed true to the books & the books were your bible, and you make changes to the lore, and harm his exemplary worldbuilding ( & it does harm the worldbuilding as I explained here,) you should be able to defend it. not straight-up LIE about it! (as you can see in the video in the aforementioned post)

Not matching up with my personal vision would not make the show bad, but not matching up with Tolkien's will. Since it's an adaptation of Tolkien's book.

if you were not trying to defend the show, that post was never about you or any other fan imagining the elves however they want. if you were, I hope you enjoy the show & it doesn’t disappoint you. but if they make changes to the canon, they should admit it & not lie and or try to gaslight the fans, if they do, nobody should defend it.

[absynthe--minded]

so because I got to go see The Two Towers (2002) at our local theater this weekend with @katarina-elaine​ I figured I’d ramble about a few of my thoughts. of the three films The Two Towers is the one I have the most to say about? Fellowship is more or less a perfect adaptation and King is back in the vein of the first film in that its problems are more about portraying characters , but Towers is unusual for me because its plot is wildly different from the book in a lot of places and it also introduces a theme that’s absent from the original work

(bullet points because reasons, under the cut because Long)

first off I think that the Rohan plot in the movie is as good as it could get with the time that they had. I’m struck by how well this film does what we now expect from fantasy/historical shows and tells three different stories at the same time, and how that disparate storytelling is maintained throughout the next film in the trilogy. but I think that simplifying the politics and the characters was a good thing! Erkenbrand is basically a nonentity, as are many of the bannermen and smaller lords of Rohan, and having him be the third act savior when he kind of doesn’t show up again in any great capacity is... it makes sense from an in-universe perspective? but it’s got very little emotional impact for our heroes to be saved by someone we don’t know and have never seen and who also never appears again. expanding Saruman’s control over Théoden and giving Éomer that role was a good choice because it makes the audience care.

there were a lot of choices made in screenwriting that were basically meant to make the things that happen have emotional impact? Arwen being the one to save Frodo, Éomer taking Erkenbrand’s role, etc - the idea was that these big moments would capture the attention of the audience and make them care.

there are so many subtle production design things - the statue of Gil-galad in Rivendell, the elven banners that the Lothlórien host carries, the tapestry in Arwen’s room, Faramir’s leather armor! - that really add depth and meaning and nuance to a lot of the things that happen onscreen. Faramir being a ginger mess means. a lot more. when he’s the only one in the film wearing armor with the book-accurate White Tree and the seven eight-pointed stars.

Kat said this but it’s true - movie!Aragorn is kind of a mess in this one in terms of motivation. He insists throughout Fellowship that he doesn’t want the power he’s been born into, and even in Towers he’s demonstrably uncomfortable with it, and yet his role in Rohan is to basically be a king of a neighboring country. He constantly steps up to take the lead and to be powerful and influential. This is the movie where he’s closest to his book characterization and frankly it works for him but it should have been consistent. If they were trying to go for an angle of “oh shit I thought I didn’t want power but look at what a good leader I am, I can’t run from this” they should have done more with it.

I just. I love Rohan??? So much.

the main theme of The Two Towers seems to be an anti-isolationism one - that everyone, no matter who they are, is part of the greater world and can’t escape rising darkness but must instead resist it. This works really well with the Ents and not so well with Rohan, who only stop being isolationist when Haldir and the Galadhrim are banging on their door going “hey let us in we’re here to help”. Aragorn tries to get Théoden to send for aid, but Théoden refuses, because he doesn’t think help will come. And he’s right in that help will almost certainly not get there in time? But I feel like he never comes to the same conclusion that the Ents do, and it would have been a better character arc for him if he did. Instead, he finds himself caught up in war and is more or less forced to accept it. This conflict is resolved in greater and more satisfactory detail in movie 3 when he actively chooses to ride to Gondor’s aid? But it also doesn’t persevere as a motivation and a plot thread through the first half hour of that film.

there are a lot of ways to take Denethor’s relationship with his sons but I will agree with @yavieriel in saying that PJ’s greatest sin wasn’t in emphasizing Denethor’s cruelty but in inventing his incompetence. I will die on the hill that movie!Denethor’s treatment of his children has a canonical basis, even as it’s not the only take.

it shouldn’t have been the Galadhrim who came to Helm’s Deep to help. it should have been the Grey Company, the Dúnedain, with Elladan and Elrohir. they could have explained that Lothlórien and Mirkwood and Dale and Erebor were all under attack, and that Imladris was besieged (headcanon but I firmly believe it happened), and that they were all who could be spared to help in the war. it would make more sense than random elves showing up, and it would allow Elladan and Elrohir to be around in movie 3 and give Aragorn the banner Arwen made as well as Andúril. (this gets rid of Arwen’s Mystery Sickness and Elrond fast traveling from Rivendell to Rohan and back to Rivendell in like two days)

we’d also get the twins. you know. existing.

Aragorn: [jumps in front of a shield wall and a battering ram in leather armor and mail to give Théoden like five more minutes of time] Elladan: Estel what the fuck are you doing?! Aragorn: What Adar would do! Elrohir: Damn it - hold on! We’re coming down!

[arofili]

Fornication and Relationships among the Eldar

[FaRE]: A Meta Analysis of LaCE

AO3 version of this can be found HERE!

I've been wanting to write this since like. 2016. and i finally got around to it thanks to the B2MeM prompt for "The universality of Laws and Customs among the Eldar" (O73) on the Silm Fanon Inversion card & @absynthe--minded‘s encouragement! thanks y'all!

Disclaimer right at the top: I may have gotten a few details here and there wrong. Blame fanon for that - this is as much an exploration of the fanon around LaCE as it is the actual document Tolkien wrote.

This meta can be shortened to "FaRE," mirroring the acronym "LaCE," but my roommate @berbss suggested the alternate title "Flaws and Customs among the Eldar" which is VERY funny and I needed to mention it.

CWs: lots of cursing, frank discussions of sex and sexuality, brief mention of rape, frequent insults to JRRT, obstinate queerness on the part of OP

Okay, so LaCE can be fun for plot reasons, and I want to preface this by saying that everyone's interpretations of this document are valid and I don't mean to shit on your headcanons, but let's be real! The whole idea that sex=marriage for elves is some real Catholic bullshit and Tolkien should be ashamed of himself.

The thing about LaCE, for me, isn't just "that's stupid and I want to write about elves that fuck" (though that is also true and valid). LaCE is is buckwild in a lot of ways, and doesn't make a whole lot of sense historically or culturally.

First of all, this is a Law and/or Custom of the Eldar. Who set down that law? When? Why? If it's a custom, does that mean it's not hard and fast for everyone? And it says /right there/ that it's a law/custom of the ELDAR, which leaves out the Avari entirely.

After all, another part of this law/custom is that marriage includes vows before Manwë, Varda, and Eru, none of whom are holy to the Avari. But the Avari are still elves; does that make them heathens in Tolkien's eyes? I mean, yes, definitely, but still! The Avari have no reason to follow this particular custom and were probably doing whatever the hell they wanted with their bodies and relationships.

But back to the Eldar. This rule stinks of the Valar to me. Eru was never that direct about what he wanted, and the Valar messed up all the time, especially when it came to elves. The Ainur don't need to procreate, after all, so why would they understand sex? Defining it in ways that they could divide into "right" and "wrong" is very much in character for them. And if it's a rule set down by the Valar and followed obediently by the Calaquendi...that raises a whole lot of questions about the Exiles.

Sure, maybe they followed that rule in Valinor, and the elves who live there might still follow it as well. If this law includes the "only one spouse" rules, we have good evidence that Finwë and his generation, at the least, were subject to it. But Fëanor and the other Noldorin Exiles forsook the Valar by returning to Middle-earth. Why would they keep this law if they are abandoning so many others?

Fëanor hated Indis, though, and might have wanted to cling to this law because of that. Or maybe not, and whatever he thought about marriage laws, his kin blamed the Valar for most of their troubles and this is another way to defy them. If you're partial to Russingon, Maedhros was already up to some illicit shit, and you can't tell me that ALL the Fëanorians were celibate in Beleriand. Like, c'mon, you know that Celegorm got some. (Or maybe not, your headcanons are VALID!)

The Arafinwëans and Nolofinwëans are direct results of a second marriage and the ~bending~ of marriage laws, if not their breaking. I wouldn't be surprised if they were willing to overlook this... though maybe Galadriel, at least, stuck to the rule and passed it onto her subjects in Lothlórien later. (Or not...this one's for you, Galadriel/Melian shippers. Also, tangent: do you really think MELIAN really stuck to this law? Come on, she married an elf! She doesn't give two shits about the Valar and their laws about Ainur not having kids or whatever the fuck!)

We've established that the Vanyar and the other Valinorian elves were all about this law, questioned whether the Noldorin exiles would stick to it, and determined that the Avari had no reason to ever start following this custom. But what about the Silvan and Sindar elves who started the journey to Valinor, but never finished?

We know elves had familial relationships in Cuiviénen; Elwë and Olwë were brothers, for some reason. But the first elves just kind of...HAPPENED. Did this first generation of elves just not know to procreate until the Valar set down laws for them? Sounds fake. Maybe Elwë and Olwë weren't first generation, but literal blood brothers, and just happened to be among the most important leaders later. Or not, who really knows.

Elves had to figure this shit out on their own before Oromë stumbled across them. Maybe the Eldar adopted the laws along the way, having sex and children along their long journey to Valinor. In that case, the Silvan and Sindar elves didn't have much of a reason to stop following the custom, because they never outright rebelled, just kind of drifted away. To me, this seems like the most plausible reason that the law endured.

But over the Ages and Ages of time separated from the beings who set down the law, I can't believe that no one questioned it. What happens if elves have sex but don't want to be married? What happens if they have sex and do want to be married, but don't say the vows? Does it not count, then? Maybe not in the eyes of the Valar, but how fussed are the Silvan and the Sindar about conforming to the Valar's every whim? ESPECIALLY the Silvan, who never saw the Valar's power firsthand in the War of Wrath.

And what about the Sindar elves who followed Oropher to Eryn Galen? If the Silvan elves there had long since abandoned the tradition, would this custom get lost in Mirkwood when Oropher's people assimilated (mostly) into Silvan culture?

And this is all assuming the custom developed while on the journey to Valinor! If it didn't get set down until they arrived in Aman, only the Calaquendi ever followed this practice. How, then, would the rest of the elves learn of it? Noldorin colonialism? (Looking at you, Galadriel.) Or would they not even bother with it, whatever they think of the Valar in general?

I've written a lot already, but you know what? Let's go deeper.

What about elvish interactions with other species? There are canon elf-mortal relationships, but you can't tell me that the ONLY elf-fuckers were Tuor, Beren, and Aragorn. Sure, maybe we only KNOW about the high and mighty elf princesses and their scandalous affairs, but the Noldor were more than their princes. There were normal people there, too! Fantasy Classism dictates that only the famous relationships got written down, with whispers of others like Aegnor/Andreth and Mithrellas/Imrazôr, but come on. There were more that happened, and more peredhel than just Elrond and his family. And y'all know I'm a slut for elf/dwarf relationships! Tauriel/Kíli may be a PJ Original but like this is NOT a new idea...it's got to have happened, right?

How do these interspecies marriages work? Mortals can fuck an elf and not be married. Would the elf be married to them, but not the other way around? (I know I've seen a Gigolas post about that...) That doesn't sound legit. This whole idea is full of holes.

Besides, who says the Valar kept this law? Aside from cultural drift, it's such a normative way of looking at relationships. I'd like to think the Valar can learn and grow, especially given the disastrous rebellion of Fëanor. Let's talk polyamory for a bit: so many problems could have been solved if Finwë/Míriel/Indis could have been allowed! With the Finwëan fiasco, you think the Valar would reassess what they did wrong there!

What counts as "sex" for the purposes of sex being the same thing as marriage? Just PIV? There's a lot of sexual acts outside of that narrow definition. Is penetration the key? Because there's ways around that. Or is it orgasm? Because that doesn't necessarily require another person. If it is just PIV, I guess that would make gay elves unable to marry, but like... come on! That's some real bullshit, even for Tolkien!

What about asexual elves? Sex-repulsed elves? I've seen people claim that all Tolkien elves are demisexual, which...I have issues with, but there definitely elves with complicated relationships to sex! Are sexless marriages not valid? Even if they include vows? Consummation laws are not great, y'all...

And what about aromantic elves? Elves who have nonromantic sexual relations? Is that unholy and evil? I know Tolkien wanted his Favorite Special Perfect Species to not have any lust or sexual sin, but this is just unrealistic. Besides, Tolkien wrote flawed and fallen heroes all the time, just look at Túrin and Maedhros and Fëanor! Even IF LaCE was meant to be taken as literally as we sometimes take it, his own world and characters break his rules frequently.

What about nonromantic and nonsexual relationships? Those get brushed over a lot irl, but Tolkien's works are full of them. Just look at Frodo & Sam, probably what he intended Maedhros & Fingon to be, Legolas & Gimli, etc... Some of those people will want their relationship formalized, maybe through calling it marriage. Does that not count? Is Tolkien really going to say that these relationships he writes, often at the core of his stories, are suddenly lesser?

I can tell this is just veering into my politics around relationships in general, so let's get back on track:

The important part of this whole custom should be the love and intent behind the vows, not the act of sex. Elves can get married if they're on the run, if need be, so it's not the actual ceremony that they value. What the people involved want should be enough to make it formal in the eyes of each other and of the Valar, if that's something they care about.

When it comes down to it, sex equaling marriage is a custom and/or a law, like it says in the title of LaCE. It's not an inherently biological trait...which makes the whole thing about how elves can "see" if someone has gotten married SUPER weird. Maybe what they can really see is the marriage-bond, visible through some funky kind of magic - I could buy that, and I've played with the idea in fic before.

But I maintain that sex CANNOT equal marriage, even by Tolkien's standards. Rape is clearly not marriage, as we see in the case of Celebrían. Elvish marriage has intent and ritual behind it, certainly; that is what makes it a custom. To me, this whole idea feels like a mistranslation or misconception that occurred when mortal scholars tried to understand elvish customs.

At least, that's the in-universe explanation. The out-of-universe explanation is just that Tolkien is a fucking coward.

[avelera]

mostlyanything19 replied to your post “Actually the news of a possible LotR reboot is especially funny when...”

fdjksa feel free to not shut up, I'm really enjoying watching this unfold from the sidelines xD

Well don’t mind if I do lol

But seriously, I just can’t stop thinking about what an impossible task this is like, I’m wishing them the best of luck because I think everyone can agree that the world is hardly a worse place if there are two amazing takes on LotR out there

But I’m just thinking about pacing for example, like, Frodo doesn’t even get out of the Shire until over an hour into the films, which would naturally be a condensed version of the books compared to a tv series. So what, are we gonna have a half season of Frodo futzing around in the Shire before he goes off on his journey?? Is the Council of Elrond going to be its own episode, how do you even dramatically pace this thing?

One of the biggest complaints against the LotR book is that the pacing is really tough on a modern audience’s attention span, if you’re going to have a more accurate,  l o n g e r  take on this story,  are we gonna spend the tv equivalent of the 50 pages Tolkien spends talking about wtf Hobbits are?? Shall we examine the canonical  m o n t h  the Fellowship spent in Lothlorien? How about the cut characters, a whole musical episode of Tom Bombadil! More elves than you can even imagine and two of them are  i d e n t i c a l   t w i n s  now!

Shall we introduce Imrahil, another random prince of Men for no apparent reason given what he adds to the plot? Or have a subplot in Minas Tirith of Bergil showing Pippin around ? Seriously what exactly did PJ not film in the 12+ hours of the trilogy that desperately needs to be shown but also extended further  in a TV series?? Are you honestly going to tell me they’re going to make sets that are more grounded and realistic than PJ’s version and not CGI nightmares, given they spent something like 6 years cultivating the land where the Shire set would be built so that it looked like a real farming community??

Look, I love Tolkien’s works to death, but I’m the first to admit when some things are cut between text and screen for a very damn good reason. Literally no one was complaining that the LotR films weren’t long enough.

[nenuials]

What movie additions to the lord of the rings do you like/dislike?

Probably the first and biggest change I dislike (apart from the “no tom bombadil and the barrow downs etc.) is the attitude elves, mainly Elrond seemed to have during the trilogy. Elrond seemed so keen to simply abandon Middle Earth, stating that men are weak and that Sauron will most likely take over, while book!Elrond would have never done such a thing. Like ok, Isildur failed, but don’t doom an entire line just because of the mistakes of one man. Which brings us to the way movie!Aragorn saw the whole ordeal, as he saw himself as weak “the same blood flows through my veins” and almost not capable of doing the task of retaking Gondor, while book!Aragorn was like super confident and the only way I’d describe it is “sauron what’s good”. The movie also doesn’t portray as gravely as the book does the state of decay and despair Middle Earth is in at the end of the Third Age. The book does have its glimmers of hope and fun but we all know the feeling of rush and urgency of the apparent doom they have upon them.

Also, as a personal preference I’m very, very upset about replacing the Grey Company with Haldir and the Lorien elves. Look PJ fam, I got you. I know you had one of the most monumental tasks in the history of movie-making and I’m not going to be harsh on you. But damn did I want to see my favorite character from the entire tolkien legendarium and his band (aka Halbarad and the Merry Grey Company). (I actually asked Craig Parker, Haldir’s actor, about how does he think canonically the elves could have walked 300 miles+ in such a short time. You know what he told me? “They took the tube”) 

Also, one thing I never see when people discuss content cut from the books is Gildor Inglorion’s company. Actually one of the scenes I was highly interested in seeing (this and the elf merry making in the hobbit). But alas, no luck. I also think Saruman’s death in the movies is cheap, cheapened by the fact that he was not in the Shire to begin with. The scourging of the Shire was such an important chapter in my opinion. It shows us that even after the heroes supposedly won the big battle, not even at home they are safe. And for Saurman to be killed in the Shire of all places, the Shire which is supposed to be green and safe and merry, and by Grima, is monumental. Also, I wish they had the time to portray Pippin’s time in Gondor better and his friendship with Beregond. (sighs) Let’s not even get into Denethor tho.

And about things that I like. Arwen. I love, love so much that the movies gave her such a bigger role that in the book. I’ve seen her so much hated for being turned into an “action-girl” or that she “stole” Glorfindel’s role. But honestly, I’m in love. 

[octopuscato]

*jumps up and down* tolkien for the meme! 10, 22, 23 aaaaand 13 about a character of your choice

10) Most disliked arc? Why?

Let’s stick tot he films because I didn’t really dislike any arc in the book. ARWEN! “Her fate is now tied to the ring!” WTF I STILL DON’T GET IT WHY HOW WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PJ?! I also don’t get Elrond’s blathering about her lingering on forever after Aragorn dies, she’d DIE AS WELL, that’s the DAMN POINT UGH UGH UGH WHY!

13) Unpopular opinion about XXX character?

Denethor is seriously underrated, and it’s got to do with his film portrayal by John Noble. Now, I think John Noble is a great actor who did a fantastic job; I imagine he was tasked with making Denethor as disagreeable as possible, which the cinematography of for example scenes like him eating in Pippin’s presence showcases very well. But it’s a poor portrayal of book!Denethor, who was actually a capable and wise, if too arrogant, ruler who managed to defend and protect Gondor for many years and finally succumbed to the strain he’d put himself under with the Palantir. There’s his woeful shortcoming as a father to be discussed, which is book canon, but still the simplification in the films annoys me and I’m pretty alone with it.

22) Popular character you hate?

I don’t hate any popular character, but I can’t for the life of me understand what people see in film!Legolas. Book!Legolas is at least sometimes amusing, film!Legolas is vaguely irritating.

23) Unpopular character you love?

Denetor (could you tell?) and Gríma Wormtongue, who’s actually one of my favourite fictional characters for no logical reason. He’s featuring in far too many of my headcanons and as of yet unwritten plots. Why is there not more good fic of him? *sigh*

[vardasvapors]

part 1 of dream: pj lord of the rings movies had to add a like dlc thing that was an adaptation of the additional canon found in the star wars clone wars show. star wars obviously being in the same canon as lotr. duh. what are u stupid. the two main scenes were first, this one super long involved multi-part assault on a fortress that had nothing to do with anything from lotr but was in fact a direct sequel to a previous (really good) dream i had. second was a flashback about elrond and celebrian. tumblr discourse started happening about how young elrond’s actor wasn’t as good as hugo weaving (???) and also the more reasonable Last Additions of multi-reblog discourse threads were like ‘it wasn’t perfect but they did do a very good job of incorporating Important Clone Wars canon given the medium difference.’

part 2 of dream: i was in a large high school class doing a semi-lab semi-powerpoint presentation thing. i was getting more and more irritated about something regarding phoniness or some other holden caulfield-y fixation and my irritation was rising to a boiling rage point. at one point there was a discourse reference and some girl made an ewww reaction and withdrew some kind of engagement vote on her lecture-hall-clicker, which was terfy for some reason, but i was even more irritated with the virtue signalling going on in the rest of the class so first i pointed at her and yelled ‘terf!’ and then after the whole class turned on her and started pulling receipts on her i then yelled ‘oops just kidding’ and then when they were all confused i ranted for like Multiple Paragraphs about their moral vacuity. then i got thrown out of class by the teacher but while getting escorted out of the premises i chased down the terf girl and cornered her in the stairwell and she was like ‘omg thank you’ and i was like YOUR OPINIONS AREN’T INTERESTING ENOUGH TO BE THE TOPIC OF A DOGPILE or smth Really Loudly and the teacher found me AGAIN and took me to his old-timey lab office. i knew he was going to turn into a minotaur and fuck me as punishment and i was like ‘ugghhhh i’m so irritated with this school’ but instead he SPANKED ME WITH A LARGE BOOK that had that Degenerative Cubism Of Cattle gif on the cover and i was in disbelief about how lame this was. then i woke up.