#and it’s hard to make people understand that you’re i’ll and in pain 24/7 and what it does to you
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mhm. being chronically ill sucks.
#bad day today#it makes me feel very alienated from everyone who’s not sick a lot of the time#and i’m annoyed by my own shortcomings and the little things that just frustrate me#like how i can never tell what day of the week it is or how i am constantly tired and exhausted and in pain#and how there’s always too much to deal with#the only okay days are when i have full day off with nothing to do but laying in bed#sometimes i manage to even get things done like cleaning and stuff then#but on work days i’m just. in pain all day long and it’s so much worse than ever#and it’s hard to make people understand that you’re i’ll and in pain 24/7 and what it does to you#😐#sorry i don’t feel so good about myself#kaz talks
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Sooo this pair of tits knows its place! This isn’t its first blog. Don’t fuck around, and we’ll have a good time.
I’m owned by Lord-of-Dom!
What are the colors for? TITLES are colored because they’re titled. The BLUE is the most important part of the sentence, for lazy readers (boooo), you should read all of it
List of kinks (yay🥰):
Misogyny (because good girls know their place)
Pain (cunts should do whatever a Man says,, especially if it’s as its expense)
Hard kinks
Degradation (teach me my place!!)
Objectification (of me, don’t be excessive)
Humiliation (your inferiority hole means you don’t get to have dignity)
Race Play (White Superiority, because They’re simply better.🤷🏾♀️) (purposely left it White, see what I did there:))
Patriarchy (what would we dumb cunts do without Men?? Don’t strain yourself thinking about it, sweetie.)
Body Shaming (another excuse to tell me how pathetic I am)
Praise, actually. (Mix it in with the degradation and I PROMISE You will baffle me)
Breath Play (You control how much I breathe? Yes??)
Male Superiority (again, Men run the world. women have tits instead of brains)
female inferiority (because we just are)
Cnc stuff (somno specifically)
Hypnosis (I would love to be in a trance and drooly for You!)
More stuff my small girl brain can’t think of (my brain cells dripped out of my cunt, what can I say?)
Rules!!!
Nothing above the neck
I don’t post the clothes I wear
Nothing but titty pics to people that aren’t approved by @the-invisible-brand (bestie) or @lord-of-dom (Massa)
Skim my bio and pinned every week or so, I add things all the time
Hard Limits (don’t make me block you)
Actually getting caught
Involving family
Unsolicited dick pics
I’ll let you know if I think of more
Scat
Soft Limits (maybe, be gentle)
Toilet play
Piss play
Rape play (is that what it’s called?? I accept threats and edge to them I promise)
Stalking (be GENTLE 😭)
Give me time I’m sure there’s more
Why should You send me an ask / task / submission? (Please do)
It’ll make me happy
It’ll probably make you happy too
Remember to be icky and mean and degrading and humiliating 🥰😵💫
I’ll probably send you a nude as a thank you :)
What if You want to message me? (You totally should)
Go for it! I need you to have an on/off switch for kink, or at least pretend to. Unless you want to be blocked or ignored?
I like big words, feel free to give me punishments if You think it’s TOO big
WHO can message me? (Use common sense)
Don’t be stupid. While I have nothing against trump supporters, if you genuinely discriminate in real life, I want nothing to do with you (except maybe a convo to understand why cause that’s just interesting to me. What about other people makes them inferior?? You’re still wrong I’m just curious)
Don’t be a minor
Anyone else checks out!
I adore talking to other subs! Let’s bully each other for Men’s amusement, Kay?🥰
Do I have a personality outside kink?
Hell yeah! Anime is amazing, books are amazing, I’m learning American Sign Language & Spanish. I love chatting I’m both!!
Things You should know (should’ve probably been higher on the list but I’m not redoing it)
I am not very friendly unless we've already become friends. I think i'm bitchy. I don't like small talk.
Images of me will be tagged #🐒
I’m a switch! When I tell you I love making other cunts drool and drip because their small brains can’t handle someone even pretending to be smarter—it’s not my fault they fall apart when someone calls them out on being a pathetic (as they should be, being cunts and all)
I’m in uni. That’s all you need to know.
I live at home cause it’s close to college, don’t give me outrageous asks
I’m on and off inconsistently: I don’t want to be addicted to porn. So I usually drop it for a few weeks, but each relapse lasts longer than the last one 😵💫
I’m owned by lord-of-dom!🥰🫶🏾
I have tinnitus. I have ringing in my ears 24/7, it’s an utter headache. It induces headaches and dizzy spells. I have earbuds, but I don’t like using them for hours on end.
I don’t have social medias
I entirely forgot I got distracted coloring my intro
Thanks for reading this far! Have a treat.
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Sucking on udders is still cute, right?
#abuse k!nk#fat piggy#fat tiddies#hard k1nk#hard kink#men are gods#men are superior#objectify me#patriarchy kink#women are stupid#women are cunts#women are worthless#new blog#bdsmkink#bd/sm kink#bd/sm community#bd/sm blog#bd/sm brat#bd/sm slave#bd/sm pet#fatty piggy#pathetic sub#humiliation kink#degrade and humiliate me#degrading k1nk#degredation kink#degradation k1nk#degrade her#attention wh0r3#needy wh0re
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100 Random Prompts
1. “I fucking hate you, but I don’t hate fucking you”
2. "I get so hard when I'm around you. I've tried fucking other people and pumping my cock every night and yet my body craves you."
3. “How did you manage to hurt your hand this badly?” “Well I’ve never punched someone before, I didn’t realise how hard peoples faces are.”
4. “I love you and I hate you all at the same time.”
5. “Yeah, sometimes I get sad, but then I look into your beautiful eyes and it’s all better.”
6. “You like when I call you ‘princess’? Will you be my good little princess?”
7. “If you do this, I’ll show you my boobs”
8. “Has the fire revealed any secrets in the 15 straight minutes you’ve been staring at it?”
9. “Please don’t leave.”
10. “I’m here, it’s okay, no one will ever hurt you like that ever again”
11. “Guess we’re the only two idiots in the whole city stupid enough to go to a museum in the middle of a thunderstorm”
12. “You deserve to be looked after.”
13. “Give me a kiss, and everything will be alright.”
14. “I just want to die”
15. “We’ve got to hide!”
16. “Scream my name so everyone knows who fucks you this good”
17. "I'm sorry." "You have nothing to apologise for, darling.”
18. “Bend over, slut”
19. “Ned i postog a nin, ni bant” (When you lie beside me, I am complete)
20. *gets insulted* “aawww thank you.”
21. “Le i velethril nîn” (You are my love)
22. “A warrior out there, but in here, in this bedroom, you’re nothing but a little weak whore.”
23. “I just feel so drained.”
24. “What happened to you to make you so wise?”
25. “If I’m being mean to someone, I’m probably flirting.” “Is that why you’re always mean to (character)?”
26. “Thiol vae” (You look good)
27. “I just did it to make you jealous.”
28. “Stay nice and still for me, baby, just like that. Let me take care of you.”
29. “You know you sure do have a lot of teeth for someone so stupid.”
30. “They do realise I can understand what they’re saying, right?”
31. “Would you like to dance with me?” “only if you don’t get upset if I accidentally step on your foot”
32. “Fuck, I need you so bad!”
33. “I think it’s best I leave”
34. “I’ll never forget you.”
35. “How clever of an insult, and how quickly you thought of it. Very surprising for someone so dim witted.”
36. “I’m not afraid. Please touch me.”
37. “Of course you can stay.”
38. “I wish you well.”
39. “Come down here so I can kiss you!”
40. “Fuck, turn around for me, princess.”
41. “No gûn annin” (Bend over for me)
42. “You look so lovely on your knees, sweet boy.”
43. “You’re so pretty”
44. “What’s that?” “Trinket, I like trinkets”
45. “You deserve nice things”
46. “Our sweet girls pussy is so tight!"
47. “Take your shirt off!” “Why?!” “Distract them from the pain!”
48. “Darling I’m (hundreds/thousands) of years old, that isn’t vintage/old to me.”
49. “I’m doing this because I want to and not because you told me to”
50. “You belong here, in my arms, forever.”
51. “You lied to me”
52. “Borrow my jacket, keep it nice and warm for me”
53. “You look so divine when you dance.”
54. “You look lovely, Y/N.” “Please don’t lie or pity me so.”
55. “Le vaethor veleg” (You are a mighty warrior)
56. “Ni am gin anin lû hen?” (Can I be on top this time?)
57. “Stop fucking swearing”
58. “aran vuin” (Beloved king)
59. “I hope you don’t mind.”
60. "Those for me, sweet girl?" "Oh! It was gonna be a surprise but yes, yes they are."
61. “I love when you wear a skirt/dress, it’s so much easier to fuck you like this.”
62. “Life doesn’t feel so bad when I’m with you.”
63. “You don’t know a thing about me!”
64. “I failed them! They died and I failed them! It’s all my fault!”
65. “You’re such a little thing, and we can have you anyway we please.”
66. “Trust me, Y/N! (Character) likes you!” “Don’t lie to me!”
67. “Baby, tits arent supposed to be perky and perfect. They’re supposed to be soft and natural and beautiful like yours”
68. “I’m not your servant, I’m not your slave, but you could be mine if you like.”
69. “I know we don’t know each other very well but I’m really sick and I need you to pick me up from work, please.”
70. “It’s alright, my love, don’t be afraid, we’ll make it out together.”
71. “No, stay. You’re warm and soft”
72. “Trust me, I adore you.”
73. “Avo dharo!” (Don't stop!)
74. “You know I could kill you if I wanted to.” “Do it then, I really don’t care.”
75. “I might be little but I can still kick your ass”
76. “I just don’t know if I can do this anymore”
77. “Of course I will serve you, my prince/princess/king/queen/lord/lady.”
78. “You wouldn’t know anything about this (character), but it’s exhausting being this gorgeous, and I need a lot of sleep.”
79. “Its real cold tonight. You wanna come over and keep me nice and warm?”
80. “That sounded dirtier than I intended”
81. “You don’t have to be alright, you know”
82. “How can I love myself, when I’m so draining to everyone?”
83. “Please! I’ve been such a good boy/girl!”
84. “You just want to be used so fucking badly don’t you, sweet thing?”
85. “Please! I was a fool and I can not apologise enough! Please y/n…. Please….”
86. “Do you need a hug?”
87. “Come on, princess, hop on my back”
88. “What you makin’?” “Chocolate cake. You wanna help?”
89. “Don’t leave. Please?”
90. “Why do you always annoy me so much?” “Coz you’re sexy when you’re angry.”
91. “That’s better, isn’t it? You just needed to be filled with my cock”
92. “That’s the cutest sneeze I’ve ever heard.”
93. “Istog an challas perian maer” (You do know what hobbits are the right height for)
94. “Oh fuck, sweetheart”
95. “I’ll punch you in your stupid face!”
96. “Tonight I will be the powerful warrior, and you will be the tiny mortal beneath me. You will worship and praise me like the goddess I am.”
97. “Aaaaww! Aren’t you sweet!”
98. “Hey” “*flirting* Oh, heeeyy” “No! Absolutely not!”
99. “You don’t scare me.” “Yeh, but I bet I turn you on.”
100. “Are you going by to be good for me?” “Ye-yes.” “Good girl. If you do behave I’ll give you a reward.”
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✨101 writing prompts✨
So here I have written up 101 dialogue and scenario prompts for you to choose from! I hope I didn’t accidentally write doubles. But feel free to request for me to write using these or your own! As of right now:
Requests: open for business!
I’m mostly just writing for Christian Cage and Adam Copeland but don’t let that deter you from requesting other wrestlers, especially within AEW! I’ll do my best! If you use any for your writing, I only ask that you credit me ☺️ happy writing! 🩵
1 - “you know I love you, right?”
2 - “try and get some sleep baby”
3 - “is that really necessary?”
4 - “just…five more minutes”
5 - “okay but if we leave now, we can avoid all that traffic and…why are you staring at me like that?”
6 - “absolutely not. Put that back”
7 - “when was the last time we danced together?”
8 - “no, I didn’t want to wake you. You looked so peaceful!”
9 - “what do you think, does it look good on me?”
10 - “don’t you even think about walking through that door”
11 - “so this whole time you didn’t actually care about me?”
12 - “I can’t believe you’d think to hurt me like this. After everything we’d been through together”
13 - “no, no I’m not ready for it to end yet. Not like this”
14 - “please. Please don’t leave me. I need you”
15 - “I’m so scared…of you”
16 - “you have to understand, punching people or things is terrifying for me”
17 - “why can’t you understand that I don’t love you anymore?”
18 - “no, you lost me when you decided to kiss him/her”
19 - “we’re done. Get the fuck out of my house”
20 - “I wish I’d never met you”
21 - “I just…I feel like I wasted the last two years of my life”
22 - “why am I the last to hear about how you’re not in love with me anymore?”
23 - “fine, you want him/her so bad? Then go! I’m not going to wait for you anymore”
24 - “why should I wait for you to decide if you want to be my boy/girlfriend again?”
25 - “clearly this relationship was one sided this whole time, huh”
26 - “I was an idiot for thinking you could love me”
27 - “no. I don’t love you anymore”
28 - “he/she treats me better than you ever did”
29 - “every time I try to talk to you about this, you fucking walk off!”
30 - “come here, let me brush your hair”
31 - “you’re really warm…you sure you’re doing okay?”
32 - “why didn’t you tell me?”
33 - “come here, baby”
34 - “shh it’s okay, I’m here now”
35 - “it’s going to be okay. I’m going to help you but I need you to stay still”
36 - “would it help if I held your hand?”
37 - “they said what to you?”
38 - “show me where it hurts…oh honey, that’s bad. You need to see a doctor, I think that’s beyond what I can do to help”
39 - “why are you shaking? Are you cold?”
40 - “if it ever gets bad again, can you promise you’ll tell me? I don’t want you to go through this alone”
41 - “come to the bathroom. I’ll help you shower”
42 - “there we go. Let it all out”
43 - “I know taking medicine sucks but you have to take it if you want to get better”
44 - “I wish I could take the pain away for you”
45 - “do you need a massage? You look tense…”
46 - “no, I’m okay. It’s just cold”
47 - “please don’t worry about me”
48 - “it just gets hard sometimes yknow? And there really isn’t much anyone can do to make it better”
49 - “maybe not…but can I try at least make it more comfortable for you?”
50 - “please…I can’t breathe. It’s too much”
51 - “will you hold me?”
52 - “I know I’m not who you want to see right now but I’m desperate. Please. Stay with me”
53 - “I just need to know if there’s still a part of you that loves me…that misses what we had”
54 - “I fucked up…bad”
55 - “stay behind me okay? Everything will be alright”
56 - “why are your eyes red? Were you crying?”
57 - “do you remember when we first met?”
58 - “how much sugar are you putting in that?!”
59 - “if I lay back down with you, I’m never getting back up”
60 - “why don’t you like the nickname ‘princess/prince’? Is schnookums better?” - “absolutely not you cringe-“
61 - “I swear I’m not ticklish…stop looking at me like that, I’m not!”
62 - getting caught singing/dancing
63 - seeing you/them get hurt
64 - reacting to you/them on your/their period
65 - reacting to a panic attack
66 - having to do grocery shopping together
67 - reacting to you falling asleep on them
68 - rescuing you from a potentially dangerous situation
69 - having your first time in bed with each other
70 - how they are during a video/board/card game
71 - helping you/them feel better when you/they feel insecure about your/their body
72 - your first kiss
73 - how you first met (please request if you want a specific scenario!)
74 - taking care of each other after an event/match
75 - reacting to walking in on you/them crying
76 - reacting to walking in on you/them getting changed
77 - them standing up for you against someone/vice versa
78 - having to break up
79 - making up again
80 - realising you’re in love with each other
81 - meeting for the first time
82 - a small argument
83 - a big argument
84 - seeing them with children (your own or others)
85 - helping you with your makeup
86 - doing their makeup
87 - winding down after a long day together
88 - having a date night (you choose the type of date)
89 - dealing with long distance
90 - playfully teasing/irritating each other (if you so chose, could lead into an argument!)
91 - looking after each other when one is sick
92 - watching a movie and cheering up the other person when their sad during a death/sad moment
93 - reacting to you/them getting pregnant
94 - watching them bond with baby you-two
95 - showering/bathing together (can lead into smut)
96 - dealing with a traumatic event
97 - baking/cooking together
98 - teasing them (smut version)
99 - reconnecting after a long period away from each other
100 - double date
101 - breakup/getting back together sex
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33 Things People Don't Realize You're Doing Because of Migraine
So, in partnership with The Daily Migraine, we asked their community as well as our Mighty community to share things other people don’t realize they’re doing because of migraine. Maybe some of these will sound familiar to you, too.
Here’s what the communities shared with us:
1. “Wearing sunglasses indoors. It’s not to act like a rock star, far from it.”
2. “Communicate through texts because talking and holding a conversation hurts. With texting I don’t have to respond immediately. I can also just type ‘migraine’ and they get it.”
3. “Refuse to get out of bed (for which I get called lazy, when I’m really just in too much pain and too nauseous to move).”
4. “I look like I’m fluffing my hair, scratching my head or adjusting my ponytail, but I’m really just trying to relieve pressure on my head. Sometimes I hold my nose because I smell things so intensely. I do so many things that probably make people think I’m odd, but they’re just coping mechanisms.”
5. “I get really cranky, and people might think I’m being mean. It just hurts to listen or talk. It’s not something you did, it’s just my head.”
6. “I pause for an unusually long time because the word I’m trying to say has escaped me.”
7. “Pretty much everything I do is calculated risk. I choose to do something, and I have to weigh the odds that I may end up with a migraine afterwards.”
8. “Blankets over all the windows. My dad came over the other day and said ‘Jeez, you live like a vampire,’ and I could only shrug. Not by choice, Dad. I miss open windows and sunshine.”
9. “Not eating. Not many people outside of the chronic illness/migraine world understand how much migraines affect your whole entire body. It can make you vomit or, if you’re like me, it can make you feel just nauseous enough that you won’t throw up but you can’t hardly eat or drink a single thing for a day or two without making it so much worse.”
10. “I slouch. Sitting straight up hurts my neck, because my head feels heavy. People always say, ‘Sit up straight, posture’s important.’ I can’t all the time, and sometimes people judge.”
11. “Looking unkempt because I don’t want to touch my hair or face. Appearing lazy because the fatigue is intense.”
12. “I go for walks a lot while at work. I work under fluorescent lights and in front of a computer screen, so my only real option is to get out of the building and stop looking at the screen under the fluorescent lights. Plus, I can’t usually go home sick because quite frankly I have a migraine 24/7.”
13. “Pillow over my face no matter how dark it is in my room. Sometimes I’ll just hide under my blankets. Oftentimes I will feel so sick from just turning over in bed or walking to the washroom. I can’t even handle candlelights when I’m at my worst.”
14. “Move very slowly, kind of frozen and unresponsive. Blank unfocused stare.”
15. “I’m sure [people] don’t realize I drink 90 oz. of water as fast as possible to stay on top of the pain. [They] probably just think I’m extra thirsty… So many weird rituals when you are a migrainista like me.”
16. “I angle myself so the other person is blocking the light source during a conversation, especially if we’re outside in the sun.”
17. “Hold hands with my husband so I don’t fall. Most people just think we are being a sweet couple.”
18. “I turn my head from side to side a lot to try to stretch out my neck and shoulders, or crack my neck for the illusion of relieving migraine pressure.”
19. “Making sure I eat at least three decent meals a day. People think I’m strange that I schedule things around my eating schedule but if I don’t eat a migraine will hit me hard.”
20. “I live in a very dark house. I get migraines almost daily so it is always dark. I have blackout curtains and a dimmer so I can keep the light as low as whatever is comfortable. Whenever we have company over, they always comment on how dark our house is.”
21. “Disappear from social media, not responding to phone calls and text messages. The light off of my phone, iPad and laptop would hurt my eyes and worsen my migraine. So I usually just turn them off.”
22. “I rub my hand or a pen up and down my upper arm in order to give myself something else to focus on when my aura starts to come on.”
23. “I speak very softly. It hurts to talk at a normal volume. I have stopped singing in the choir. To me, it sounds like I am yelling and my own voice may trigger a migraine.”
24. “I grind my teeth a lot during a migraine. Also, I walk around with a ‘false’ face on trying to pretend everything is alright.”
25. “I often have the habit to look down as I walk or do anything… not really because I’m ‘shy’ but because I can’t handle much light.”
26. “Using pressure points on my neck and sometimes head to temporarily alleviate (or distract from) my migraine. It can appear as frustration, laziness or boredom, I’ve been told.”
27. “I get really quiet and antisocial if I’m in a social setting and start blinking a lot when I notice the beginning of the headache coming on.”
28. “Always turning down the radio/music in the car – sound is a trigger – and thus being the ‘party pooper’ to the jam sessions. And concerts are a complete absolute no-go, unfortunately.”
29. “[I] mess up my words, become unable to speak and speak in a manner where people who don’t know me would assume I’m drunk.”
30. “Slowly rocking myself back and forth, especially when the nausea hits. I don’t know why but sometimes it’s soothing.”
31. “I knead at my neck and use smelly balms. I also go to the bathroom to run cold water on my face. I have to pretend I don’t want chocolate or an adult beverage when things are flaring up, when I really want one. I have to nap when it acts up, leave work early for doctor appointments. The worst surprisingly is yawning though. People think I am disinterested or don’t care, but it is often an early sign for me to take some meds with caffeine and prepare to either go home or jury rig myself to get through the rest of the day.”
32. “Wearing a hat inside. The lights in many buildings can cause worse migraines than the sun. People seem to just assume I’m rude for wearing a ball cap inside, especially at restaurants. Trust me, I wish the lighting didn’t increase migraines too.”
33. “Rub my forehead. I also may be eating a mint or honey candy for the nausea, or just food to try and prevent me from getting a migraine. I have to listen to my body in a way others may not because being tired/hungry/stressed can lead to a migraine.”
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23 may 2023 Tuesday 12:07 pmpt
My mom has brown skin. When she was a kid 👦🏾 she said people called her a word that means black. Bcz she walked 2 miles to school 🏫 and discipline at her school 🏫 was to stand outside in the sun ☀️ Bcz it’s HOT 🥵 outside . 12:09 pmpt I think 💭 said also said she had to go home 🏠 on breaks to help take care of brothers and sisters 👯♀️ at home 🏠 who were babies 👶. 12:11 pmpt I have a lot of automatic thoughts 💭 that contradict each other probably. I would probably find out if I wrote all down. When I shared in 2nd grade my color pencil ✏️ and markers I did not discriminate. 12:13 pmpt In 4th grade (vag hot 🥵 acid pain 12:14 pmpt) I had for a short time a best friend named ebony king 🤴. But when I came back from counseling for children 👶 going through divorce I got mad at her for borrowing with out asking first. After that she stopped being my friend and wouldn’t talk to me anymore. She was very tall compared to me. She didn’t do anything wrong I guess but I think 💭 I might have had a change of heart ♥️ about sharing my stuff. It could have been Bcz of the divorce. 12:19 pmpt I also had a secret valentines I had to buy a gift 🎁 for and my mom put a lot of thought 💭 into the gift 🎁 and bought a nice coffee mug ☕️ and bought candy 🍬 to go in it. I believe she bought it thinking about what the parents would find most useful. She didn’t think 💭 about what color skin they had. Only what was probably a good gift 🎁. That was elementary school 🏫 to a boy 👦🏾 named fermen. My first ex boyfriend’s cousin is “blasian” and he’s one of the nicest friendliest guys I’ve ever met. 12:25 pmpt like I’ve written b4, if I think 💭 you’re nice I’ll give a chance for friendship but if I’m not attracted to you and you cross the line with out permission you’re not always going to get a welcomeing response. You might be “friend zoned.” But it is not always permanent as was the case with my first ex boyfriend. 12:28 pmpt but I guess it don’t matter anymore Bcz I am not well. 12:29 pmpt 12:32
12:33 pmpt tummy ache difficulty breathing
12:36 brought-> bought. 12:32 b->b4
12:40 pmpt. B4 4th grade pictures I dropped from the tallest bar on the playground doing a failed cherry 🍒 drop and landed 🛬 with my face flat in the tanbark. When I was 13 years old I was in the Philippines 🇵🇭 and I hit my head on probably the most dense wood 🪵 bench I’ve ever encountered in my life. The Janka hardness must have been extremely high. That was btwn 7th and 8th grade years. 12:43 pmpt
1:24 pmpt my feelings and actions were probably due to an incubus spell. I will not hold anything against Esther for what she thought 💭 or felt about me. If she was scared 😱 Bcz of something I said or the way I said something, I understand now. I didn’t like the way Scott said Pearl Harbor to me when he told me that was his birthday 🥳 , but it seems that fate is not in my favor anyway. All my organs have felt pain and I’m probably going to die soon 🔜. 1:28 pmpt
6:48 pmpt yesterday and today I momentarily felt the true pain of some of my organs. I think 💭 2 felt sore yesterday and today I felt one was bruised. They’re able to turn off the sensations of pain for the organs. They make me upset turning me on my belly and the organs probably get bruised and squeezed. 6:51 pmpt 6:52 pmpt he lied 🤥 to me about being my husband. So I should probably assume when he says that dugard wasn’t raped, I’m going to assume it is a habitual pattern of lies. 6:53 pmpt
7:06 pmpt I was conceived probably in my mom’s home 🏠 country so I will probably die soon 🔜 and be returned there. 7:07 pmpt
7:08 pmpt I feel like the tv 📺 and internet are being used to gas ⛽️ light 💡 me. (Pain 7:09 pmpt spine lower) left hip bone 🦴 not good pain probably acid 7:10 pmpt) I had a lot of illness and discomfort in my life through various things. I’m not happy with the way I am (right foot 🦶 bottom pain 😖😭 7:11 pmpt) going. Since age 32 I experiencedalmost non stop 🛑 hellish pain and agony. 7:12 pmpt the Virgin Mary story is something you don’t want for your life. During covid a lot of people got stabbed in the nose 👃 for the tests and I read some people got stabbed when they got the vaccine 💉. If you feel depressed you know who to beware of now for being prejudged. I don’t have the answers to everything but I seemed to have been offered at age 5 what my fate was going to be - predetermined preset 🤖 in a way that seemed initially less vilifying of me. 7:17 pmpt if you get raped it was preset by god. But to save his face he’s going to defend the rapist until the end of his life. 7:19 pmpt I guess when a new god takes over that’s when the rapists fall Bcz it’s the end of both their lives and the new god is not bound to that set of people. 7:20 pmpt hypothesis.
2:59 am pt the incubus miñion who lives on the floor of this hotel 🏨 has been eating my flesh with acid. It seems to be there favorite things to do = torture me. Same as child rapists demon angels. 3:01 am pt
3:03 am pt I’ve already told them to chop off my head. But they won’t end my suffering. All at the same time they ate a layer of flesh I think 💭 in my nose 👃 my vag and I think 💭 one other area. I got upset so I forgot which part. He is definitely not a loving husband to me so he probably is lying 🤥 about child rape ending. Which is probably why I am dying prematurely Bcz he is heinous. 3:07 am pt my cousin’s friend who was raped as a child... I forgot to ask how old she is now but my cousin is 21 now. 3:09 am pt which means that he (Adam Noah Levine) made child rape happen. 3:09 am pt and he probably was already exercising the authority to make those decisions. 3:10 am pt he said himself porn makes the world 🌎 go round and he likes donuts 🍩 with vanilla sprinkles so what else falls closely to that ? Kidnapping and rape/forced prostitution = porn? 3:12 am pt I never bought porn but sometimes I hear 👂 on the news 📰 child pornography but they never say what exactly is in it. If it’s of 15/16 year olds or younger. 3:14 am pt anyone who tortures a woman 👩🏼 with accelerated premature path to menopause and death ☠️ is probably an aggressive advocate of child 🧒 rape. Why would they cut down a woman 👩🏼 so aggressively that she feels her life is over at 32? Bcz men are only interested in child porn. Rapid turn over is needed then. 3:18 am pt
3:21 am pt the world 🌎 seems to be taken over by heinous goat 🐐 lecherous men who only value women b4 they turn 27 years old. 3:22 am pt they decided they don’t want anyone older than that. 3:23 am pt
3:31 am pt expect everyone who makes a lot of money 💰 to be ⛽️ gas lighting Bcz they want your trust and business back. Stuff online changes all the time. As was the case with a Sierra LaMar article saying that the call for help from Sierra over the internet was a hoax suddenly says it was located in the Philippines 🇵🇭. I was very shocked 😮 by this sudden addition to the article after I wrote I suspected the police 👮♂️ were the ones helping with Sierra’s disappearance. They’ve been stocking me it seems Bcz they’re Scott’s friends. And now it looks like Scott’s friends are apart of covering up 🆙 for Sierra’s disappearance so they think 💭 they’re being sly
3:38 am pt I know I’m dying 😵 a very tortured death ☠️ Bcz demon angels like torturing anyone even 11 year old dugard and others with rape for years. So obviously I won’t win. I have no more will or strength to try much. 3:41 am pt but I think 💭 framing antolin with crimes he didn’t do and writing ✍️ off her cry 😭 for help.... points in a specific direction. 3:43 am pt right arm pain... a direction....
queen 👸🏻 of isolation I am... in desolation. 3:44 am pt
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Hi! I was just wondering if you could do relationship headcanons (SFW and NSFW if youre okay with that) for Makoto Naegi with his childhood friend! Short! Fem s/o! Who had chronic pain and who uses a cane? (If you're okay with mentions of self harm scars, would that be okay to include?) Thank you!
I wonder if something similar happened to you if you requested it.. if so, I’m so sorry and I hope everything’s okay now! I’m uh not good at making headcanons and guess what lol, this is my first time so I really hope you’ll enjoy it. please tell me if you want me to change anything! <3
I actually had this in my drafts but I lost motivation to write something on here, I also thought that I’ll leave this blog and in general tumblr. But here we are! please feel free to request anything you want!
cw: mentions of cane/s3lf h3rm scars, a 24/7 worried Makoto lol, childhood friend, fluff, nsfw, mentions of handcuffs, (slight) praise
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SFW
Makoto is so worried about you, tbh
like, since you’re his childhood friend and btw, his girlfriend, he took good care of you since then!
he even asked you if he can help you walking, he asked this too many times.
and you always refuse it and told him that it’s fine since you use the cane
Makoto seems like he gets attached to people very easily, he literally fell hard for you just because he takes care of you!
he spends so much time with you though, giving you food and everything you need. He’s so scared in even leaving you for a second.
I’m serious, if it’s happening him leaving you for some minutes to make food or I don’t know.. take a shower, and he’s hearing something weird coming from your room, he’ll be right there
“Y-YN??! Are you okay sweetie? I’ll go call the-“
“Makoto, I’m fine. I just changed my shirt”
LMAO
Gives you hugs and a lot of affection
When it comes to your scars.. he gets freaked out and doesn’t know what to do
Especially when he cuddles with you and accidentally touches them
“YN!! I-I’m so sorry darling! did it hurt? does it bleed already?! I’ll go grab the banda-“
And you shut him up by kissing him passionately
Don’t worry, he’s not calm even if you’re sleeping. You need to reassure him that everything is fine with you for him to actually fall asleep
NSFW
I mean.. Makoto is 100% into vanilla sex, that’s it
Just because he doesn’t want to hurt you, of course
He can be a little kinky, like, tying you with those flully pink handcuffs he owns for special ocassions
He tries to not touch your scars tho.. that are already healed..
Makoto’s a switch!! but usually he takes the control, seeing you this vulnerable in his bed makes him go insane
But not anymore when he hears you moaning, thinking it’s because of your chronic pain
“Is everything okay? I can remove the handcuffs fro-“
Since you can’t talk cuz of how good he’s doing u, you just force him to kiss you, enough for him to understand that the moan was coming from the pleasure he gives to you
Pretty good at dirty talk if you ask me, he praises the fuck outta you when the pleasure hits him
“F-Fuck, you’re so tight, baby. I-I’m gonna cum!”
Aand this turns you on, it would turn you on even more if he degraded you
But Makoto can’t degrade his girlfriend even if she wants to, he thinks he’ll hurt you
Plus he’s soft and you can’t tell me otherwise
Makoto is perfect at aftercare! he’ll give you what you need and cuddle with you after
He’s going to only fall asleep when you already fell asleep <3
#danganronpa x reader#makoto naegi#sfw#danganronpa smut#x reader smut#naegi x reader#danganronpa makoto#fem reader#trigger happy havoc#danganronpa#dr1 trigger happy havoc#dr1 thh#thh#naegimakoto
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🌸OBSERVATIONS!! (finally lmao)🌱
Credit: Tumblr blog @astrobydalia
It's been a long time coming! So happy for spring being finally here! Here's the long ass observation post you guys asked for. Since it's quite a big amount of observations, I've decided it'd be a good idea to number them so that it's easier to reference them. As always, enjoy them!
🌸 1. Lilith in the 2nd house can indicate something fishy going on with the relationship between the native’s parents.
🌱 2. Malefic placements such as pluto, chiron, Saturn or Lilith in the 12th indicates a lot of skeletons in the closet when it comes to family and family history
🌸 3. Chiron in Aries/1st house or Leo/5th house is kind of bitch placement. The person basically feels like they can’t be themselves and there’s a lot of self-denial and/or not accepting themselves, how they really are, what they really want, etc. Lots of self-esteem issues
🌱 4. People with sexual placements in the 2nd house (Mars, Venus, Lilith, Eros, ruler of the 8th house) base their self-worth on how sexually attractive they are. If they don't feel sexually desirable to everyone, they feel like they're shit
🌸 5. Lilith is what people think Pluto/Scorpio is!!!! All that stuff about magnetic, sexual and intoxicating but dangerous? Lilith.
🌱 6. Scorpio/Pluto in 4th could mean that the person had to work hard to survive something growing up. It could be poverty, their parents’ expectations, an early trauma, etc. Whatever the situation is, the native felt like they grew up in a high-stress environment where they had to endure and survive
🌸 7. When it comes to degrees, the higher the degree, the bigger or stronger the effect. For example Leo degrees (5º, 17º, 29º) are fame degrees. 5th degree would give small fame, 17th degree would be normal and significant fame or recognition inside the person’s field and 29th degree is moreso widespread or permanent fame
🌱 8. Saturn in the 5th house is a huge indicator of turning your hobby into your job. Also these people can be very awkward in their personality
🌸 9. I’ve noticed people with Neptune in the 6th (maybe 2nd) house may have been hospitalized and if Uranus or Pluto are placed here also indicates getting surgery or operations for health reasons
🌱 10. People with Uranus or Pluto in the 1st, 2nd or conjunct the ASC could get surgery due to aesthetic reason
🌸 11. Mercury dominant people (or strong Gemini energy in the chart) like to have or get things quick and easy. For example they prefer a straight forward summary over an in-depth and elaborated explanation with too many details
🌱 12. Your moon sign shows how you see your past. Your 4th house represent how you see your childhood. But your moon represents under which light you always view your past and everything that has happened in your life in general. It also shows the type of stuff from your past you tend to focus on. Since Cancer and Pisces represent past and remenaicence, that's why Cancer and Pisces moons have trouble getting over the past.
🌸 13. Your 10th house on the other hand is how you see your future. Whenever someone asks you “where you see yourself in 5 years?” your 10th house is the one that’ll be answering that question
🌱 14. Gemini moon/mars are the LEAST likely to hold grudges (unless chart says otherwise)
🌸 15. The house where you have your Neptune indicates the themes you tend to lie about, don’t give much info, say stuff about it that are misleading etc. and in consequence people might not have a clear/correct idea of this part of your life
🌱 16. Virgo risings rarely or basically never pose for pictures. They just look straight forward to the camera, sometimes smile and maybe make a small gesture like putting one hand in their pocket or tilt their head but that’s it. (Virgo = minimalism)
🌸 17. Scorpios really don’t give a single fuck they just DON’T 😭💀 Remember this sign is all or nothing, they either care too or don't care AT ALL
🌱 18. I said it once and I’ll say to a hundred times more: Geminis are not two-faced, it’s LIBRA!! Seriously Libras are the FAKEST people I’ve ever met. Why? Because it's ruled by the planet of love (Venus), which means Libra has a knack for being liked by everyone and making everyone feel liked. HOWEVER Libra is an AIR sign and air represents mind, NOT feelings. In conclusion, Libra can make you feel "loved" (venus) and still not give a damn about you bc its air nature makes them prone to emotional detachment. That's why they are able to roast you and make it look like they're complimenting you, specially when they have Scorpio mercury.
🌸 19. Just like you look at where’s the ruler of your rising sign to get more info on your rising, check the ruler of your Sun sign for more info on your personal identity (check sign and house). For ex. I have Virgo Sun in the 9th. Ruler of Virgo=Mercury. I have mercury in Libra in the 10th house which makes me more serious (10th house) and diplomatic/people pleaser (Libra)
🌱 20. If you found that you “couldn’t” do what’s previously described because you’re a Leo sun, check the degree and decan of your Sun
🌸 21. I’ve noticed mercury retrograde people are the type of individuals who always know exactly the right things to say. You’ll always see them take a couple of seconds before answering but they tend to give very good responses
🌱 22. I’ve noticed many women with Virgo Venus/Sun/MC/Lilith have been slut-shamed at some point of their life or they’ve been seen as promiscuous/sexual/etc.
🌸 23. Capricorn moons are not emotionless machines. The thing with these natives is that their mothers treated them like an adult the second they came out of the womb, so basically they skipped the “love and affection” stage and went straight to the “grow up” stage, but they can love really hard and real deep (Capricorn is deep down a very sentimental sign). They are very ride or die people tbh, they are very patient, accepting and understanding
🌱 24. I've noticed that people at first deny their rising sign in Vedic astrology, but eventually they end up accepting it and they actually end up relating to it a lot. I feel like this is because our rising sign in Vedic astrology is usually the sign of our 12th house in Western astrology, which leads me to believe that our 12th house sign is not our shadow side but more like our deep subcontious personality and that's why we have a hard time accepting it when we see it as our rising sign in Vedic astrology. It's like your rising sign (in western) is the director of the play but your 12th house is the energy that previously wrote the script
🌸 25. So many celebrities have moon in the 11th house. Also this placement indicates that you had a mother that put you out there constantly like posting everything about you on social media, bringing you to big events or your mom was “famous” in some capacity
🌱26. Gemini risings tend to believe everything they are told. More specifically, once they find someone that knows a little bit more than them they’ll believe everything they teach them and will most likely rely on them intellectually, for advice, guidance, etc. This is bc they have DSC in Sagittarius which makes them see the people they associate with as masters and mentors while, as a Gemini rising, they identify as an apprentice.
🌸27. Both 8th house and 12th house have been associated with secrets. The different is that the 8th house represents what you CONTIOUSLY and deliberately hide from others and most likely deny to yourself (or not, depends on the person). 12th house on the other hand represents subconscious, things that are hidden even from you and you didn’t even know were hidden. 4th house is not necessarily secrets, it represents privacy, like when people have a sanctuary to just relax, unwind and feel secure, that’s the 4th house.
🌱28. Sun or Moon in the 4th house will make you a sociable but private person.
🌸29. Sun or moon in the 8th house will make you an intriguing and mysterious person.
🌱30. Sun or moon the 12th house makes you a very elusive or wishy-washy person
🌸31. I’ve seen many Scorpio sun/moon/mars/rising individuals obsessed with the idea of being prepared for a catastrophe. They could be the type to, for example, have some saved cash just in case something bad happens with their bank money, have a backup account just in case their main one gets deleted, could have a “leave before you get left” philosophy, etc.
🌱32. Is it just me or the astro community talks a lot about Aries moons???
🌸33. I’ve noticed people with 4th house in Virgo could have been raised in a very judgemental household where there was lots of taboos and prejudice as to what’s right and what’s not and the family was too preoccupied with a perfect and immaculate reputation. For example could have been raised with values such as “only criminals wear tattoos” or “you should stay celibate till marriage or else you’re a whore”, etc. and if the native broke those rules they could have been very criticized and almost loathed by the family. They native could have been highly criticized in general by their family
🌱34. I’ve noticed women that have their moon harshly aspecting Pluto, Uranus and Mars or overall have a very afflicted moon tend to have very painful period cramps
🌸35. Something I have noticed with Venus or Moon conjunct Saturn people is that the concept of unconditional love sounds like alien language to them. That of course doesn’t mean they can’t love but they have this deep belief that they have to achieve something in order to deserve love and stuff like that
🌱36. Also, I just noticed that people with Saturn conjunct sun/moon/Venus/ASC, Capricorn big 3 or Capricorn degrees in personal placements have gone through IT man, specially on an internal level. I've noticed going through depression is a common theme for people with this Capricorn/Saturn influence
🌸37. Virgo Suns could often struggle to find balance between having healthy ego and being humble.
🌱38. Also people with Virgo+Leo energy are the MOOOOST judgmental people out there. Imagine ego mixed with a sense of knowing what’s correct. They tend to believe they’re morally superior and easily liable people as inferior
🌸39. The underdeveloped energy of a sign asimilates negative traits of its sister sign. For example underdeveloped Virgo is overly perfectionist and judgmental to the point where they have unrealistic expectations (Pisces)
🌱40. On the other hand the developed version of a sign is balanced out by understanding its sister sign. For example Leo knows they are unique and special and deserves recognition but understands everyone is also unique in their own way (Aquarius)
🌸41. I’ve noticed a person can very easily manifest the stereotypical characteristics of the sign that naturally rules the house where their chart ruler is. For example if someone’s chart ruler (ruler of the ASC) is in the 7th house the person can easily manifest stereotypical characteristics of Libra like being a people pleaser
🌱42. Sagittarius ASC/Mars people are all fun, amicable and outgoing.... until they don’t get their way. They will get away from people and situations that won’t give them what they want and they can genuinely dislike people solely because those people don’t let them have their way. They tend to go around life like they have a free pass to get away with everything they want.
🌸43. People with ASC-Neptune aspects don’t have a very reliable vision of reality or themselves to be honest. I don’t know how people with this aspect haven’t lost their mind already. They are prone to subconsciously manipulating or easily getting manipulated. With hard aspects this is a lot more obvious but I’ve noticed with easy aspects this energy tends to go almost unnoticed and they easily get away with stuff
🌱44. Have seen many famous people with North node in the 2nd, 5th, 11th and 12th houses specially
🌸45. Air risings or air dominance with Sagittarius placements/degrees are people who love cartoons/animations/videogames regardless of their age.
🌱46. When I got into astrology I didn’t understand why Sun is in detriment in Libra, but oh man... All Libras I’ve met had HUGE issues with trusting themselves. They doubt themselves 24/7 and that’s not even an exaggeration and I’ve noticed they actually may have grown up doubting themselves for some reason or they had a family (their dad) that caused this feeling in them. Also I’ve seen that those Libras with Scorpio placements feel like they have to hide something about themselves otherwise they’ll be rejected. Yes they are endlessly charming, but that's because they have essentially created their personality around the desire of being liked/accepted. They always need to feel they have SOMEONE. Their sense of self, INDIVIDUALITY, independence and assertiveness is lost in the process. Unless they have fire and specially Aries placements to balance this out they can feel like they have no personality and that’s why they are often perceived as fake or shallow.
🌸47. Literally ALL Virgo placements one way or another will always suggest a way to solve your problems when giving emotional support
🌱48. I have a theory that, since 4th house is how you were raised, your home and your parents, your 10th house is how you’d be as a parent yourself and the type of home you’ll create yourself
🌸49. Contrary to my expectations, I’ve seen priests having a much more prominent 4th house (many times combined with 8th house/Scorpio energy) than 12th house. People with 12th house placements or stellium seem to prefer artistic fields rather than classic spirituality
🌱50. The house where you have your Pluto is a house you just can NOT take lightly EVER. This area of your life feels like a heavy topic to you in some way (you are either obsessed with it, find It traumatic, get extremely defensive over it, find it spiteful, you feel everything goes wrong, etc, etc.) Can also apply to the house where you have the sign of scorpio
🌸51. In synastry, Venus falling in the 12th house creates a healing dynamic in the relationship, the connection can feel cathartic specially for the house person. The house person might tend to always be comforted by the venus person’s support, always feel better (or even energetically “cleansed”) after being with them. The venus person never judges the house person and accepts them and is always willing to be there.
🌱52. I’ve noticed this pattern in people with mutable moons where they have absent mothers in some shape or form. Their mother is very inconsistent, she always comes and goes. Very often the native may have felt like their mother always “left them be” (virgo moon moms put restrictions but eventually are rather flexible)
🌸53. People with cardinal moons have bossy mothers. In many cases they can have the type of mother that is constantly making decisions for them, like their mother decides what/where they’re going to study for example (the house tells what type of things the mother tends to make decisions on).
🌱54. People with fixed moons have possesive and protective moms. While mutable moons have absent mothers, natives with fixed moons have mothers that are ALWAYS there in some shape or form. At the very least the influence of the mother is always there and they always have this sense of “loyalty” towards their mom.
Credit: Tumblr blog @astrobydalia
That's it for now, next observation post is just as long but much better, stay tuned and safe loves 💕
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Why you should NOT date AOT boys...
Headcanon on what kind of headache you're bound for when dating the AOT boys, and why I advise you NOT to date them! Enjoy, loves!
levi - eren - armin - reiner
part two here | erwin - zeke - jean - connie
— LEVI
He's an incredible man with a lot of talents and he'd be doing real good at his job, that dating him would give you a huge sense of pride. However, this man suffers from being emotionally constipated. He'd always keep you in the fine line of "are we or are we not?", even though you’ve been seeing each other for a long time. He’d never say “I love you” or any type of flashy display of affection. His love language is acts of service and quality time, so if you’re the type to wanting outward reassurance of how someone feels about you, Levi’s not gonna be the person to give you that.
This problem stems from his deep, unresolved insecurity about the nature of relationship. It’s not just the “Am I good enough?”, he genuinely thinks that he is not a good person, and thus the inherent belief that everybody will abandon him in the end — something he picks up from his traumatic childhood. He’s wary about establishing relationship because he’s afraid to succumb into his own feelings and vulnerability. He fears at certain point he has to feel and suffer the emotional consequence of being left by someone he cares for. He dreads the idea of getting caught off-guard with being fragile.
You gotta be extremely patient and understanding when it comes to Levi, the reassurance needs to come from you, and frequently too. Bluntly saying, “I’ll stick around” or “I’ll accept your shortcoming” is really soothing for Levi, because although he never shows it, he really thinks he does not deserve you.
— EREN
If you wanna be frustrated in a relationship where you constantly feel like you’re in an endless coaster, then dating Eren gotta be your poison. Sure the honeymoon phase was intoxicating, sure he makes you feel like the prettiest girl in the world. The morning text, the playful neck peck out in the public, the butterflies you feel in your tummy when you catch him staring at you even from afar with those oh so enthralling green eyes. But once the honeymoon phase over, Eren is quick to get bored. Especially if you’re an unproblematic, matter-of-fact type of person. Eren likes to fight, he gets thrilled by it, and he’s high with the rush of adrenaline. He likes it if you’re jealous, if you sulk, if you argue. He likes you to be ‘childish’ because then he gets to be the adult, the savior, the knight in shining armor. It grinds his gears. If you’re unfazed by his antics, if you’re easy to forgive, if you’re chill, Eren will think that you’re not really into him, and will exit the closest door out before his ego gets bruised even further.
Eren is sort of babied by people around him – his parents, his friends, and constantly being compared to his older brother doesn’t help either. He realizes that he got saved a lot of times by a lot of people. And this creates a deeply rooted insecurity with him that turns into an incessant impostor syndrome. The constant thought of not being good enough and the idea that all the achievement he’s ever got was the result of someone else’s help really crush him. You can shower him with praises and reassurance, but he would completely dismiss it, because he thinks your compliments are not based on objective views and that he does not deserve it. He painfully seeks for approval from any authority figure that (he thinks) does not have any emotional connection with him. And it can be really hurtful when he constantly dismisses your sincere compliments while desperately chasing from others who don’t care about him.
— ARMIN
It’s really hard to hate Armin. He’s a really nice man through and through, but what is his strength can also be his deepest weakness. He’s too nice and unsure about a lot of things. He knows he is knowledgeable, but he often doubts himself for being too ‘text-book smart’. Which is a valid cause, because at times he would get very oblivious to how relationship works, and treat feelings like it’s a quantifiable system. It will literally take years for him to finally get down and say how he feels about you, because all these times he was so busy filling the check-list in his mind to convince himself whether you truly like him or not, even though you couldn’t be any clearer with your intention towards him.
He is perceptive with what you think and how you feel, unfortunately this does not materialize into any action as he doubts his own intuition when it comes to his significant other. He fears that his own sentimentality has affected his intuitive judgment and thus deems it invalid, which is completely untrue because every hunch he has about you has always been accurate! That’s just how much he understands and knows you from years of quietly observing and taking each of your word into account.
He really relies on you sitting him down and telling him in details how you feel and the things you expect from him. He will do it, in a flash with no hesitation, but really, he just needs that verbal affirmation that he is doing the things that you want, and it’s not just based on his assumption. So, if you like sweet surprises, impulsive dates and expect your significant other to read your mind, Armin might not be the person.
— REINER
Oh my, truthfully, he is such a sweetheart, and can be completely smitten for the entirety of his life if he has found that one person. However, it’s a treacherous road for both Reiner and you to get to that stage. Initially, when you start to get closer to him, he may seem rigid and uninterested. The first date you had with him probably went awkward and although you really liked him, you were pretty sure he didn’t like you back, until he texted you the morning after, asking for a second date. That’s basically how being with Reiner is, a series of you being sure that he feels nothing towards you, only for his following action to prove the otherwise. He is really awful in displaying his emotion, he tries to be stoic all the time, and it often frustrates you because you cannot really tell how he feels, and you fear that you might have hurt him without realizing.
He may start to open up, only when you open up first about yourself. He thrives in romance with someone who he thinks shares his inner pain, and that’s very important for him, because he is always in a position where everyone expects him to be strong, and to have a significant other that understands his struggle is all he wants. But this gets hard for you, because sometimes Reiner’s sadness can be quite extreme and you cannot match that. Once Reiner realizes that you’re not on the same boat, he may become withdrawn, as he thinks he’s a burden and inadequate for you, and may end up self-sabotaging the whole relationship he has with you.
Although he does not like to admit it, but Reiner often slips into his sadness too deep, that it almost seems like he victimizes himself with his self-hatred. He will be the one to say stupid shit like, “You deserve someone better.” Or “I cannot make you happy.” When in fact you are perfectly willing to be with him all the way through.
With Reiner, you gotta be the bigger person, with bigger gestures and bigger patience. It’s because Reiner needs an anchor and a figure to lean on. In returns he would be the best lover that you will ever have for he is selfless and will be helplessly devoted to you.
Racking my brain writing for the rest of the boys (Erwin, Jean, Connie, Pocko) because they're the ones we SHOULD date.
Update: Thanks thanks thanks for everyone who read this! I received a lot of love and you dunno how much this encourages me to keep going. Anyway, 2 things:
- My Masterlist
- Talk to meeee ♡
[ON-GOING REQUEST EVENT]: Kojinnie's 200 Followers Celebration - 24/7 Writing Event
#aot headcanons#snk headcanons#levi headcanons#eren headcanons#armin headcanons#reiner headcanons#levi ackerman#eren jaeger#armin arlert#reiner braun#attack on titan#shingeki no kyojin#aot levi#aot eren#aot armin#aot reiner
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How Bad is Sia’s “Music” really?
I watched it illegally (because there was no way I was paying for that bullshit) and found out. It’s not as bad as we thought... It’s worse.
TW for ableism, Sia, drugs, alcohol, just in general a terrible movie, meltdowns, blackface
Literally the first thing you hear while they’re showing the production companies is THOSE stereotypical noises. If you’ve seen the trailer, you’ll know what I mean.
And yes, she does this for the WHOLE fucking movie
What was the need to show her in her underwear? Maddie Ziegler was 14 when this was made, so what was the need??? And why did Sia prolong the scene by having her hitting herself?
Less than a minute in and my reaction was already “what the fuck is this shit?”
So the opening number not only had stereotypical exaggerated facial expression, it has Maddie in BLACKFACE?!? And with culturally appropriated hair?!?
The exaggerated facial expressions are literally constant and I took photos during the film to show it, more later, but I’ll keep mentioning it
ITS LITERALLY THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME SHE IS ON SCREEN
Even her way of walking is fucking offensive, Jesus Christ
The vocalisations just had me cringing so hard, I cannot describe how awful it made me feel
Why do all the neighbours need to be paid off and help her when she goes for a walk? I don’t-
Yes, by about the five minute mark I was already seriously debating all my life decisions. It was that bad.
Kate Hudson really didn’t give a fuck that her grandma died
I will keep saying it but WHY are the facial expressions/vocalisations CONSTANT?!! Literally they do not stop at all. I work with a child who is actually similar to this in that he’s nonverbal and he makes similar noises/faces, but the way they’re in this movie is so over-exaggerated?!? And even the kid I work with doesn’t do it 24/7?!?
Sia, calling your characters Zu and Music doesn’t make them interesting in the slightest. They’re still painfully terrible and one dimensional
Literally ONE minute after being left alone with her autistic sister, Zu calls the mental health service asking if they could “theoretically” “pick up” her sister?!? Like she wants to get rid of her already?!?
“A magical little girl” - autism isn’t a magical power?!? And Music is a young woman, not a little girl?!? Why are you infantilising her?!?
Okay I’m not being funny but this choreography is NOT hard. ANYONE can do it, so claiming that you needed to hire a dancer to be Music because of the numbers is literally bullshit (and even so, there are so many amazing autistic actors and dancers?!?)
20 minutes in and I wanted to give up
So she had her first meltdown because her hair didn’t get braided immediately and that’s... certainly interesting??
The fact that Leslie Odom’s character says “I’m going to crush you now”?!?
AND THEN HE FUCKING PICKS HER UP AND FULL-BODILY PINS HER DOWN ONTO THE FLOOR
“I’m crushing her with my love” - oh fuck you, just fuck you
So Sia lied, the restraint scenes were NOT removed and there was no warning. She’s a fucking POS liar
I have no idea why he’s called Ebo or why he has such a cliche African accent?!? I might have missed out on why because I was busy trying not to bang my head into the table while I watched this film but just... yikes
“He (his brother) liked to be held” - YEAH, HELD. NOT FUCKING CRUSHED
“He is dead now” - IM NOT FUCKING SURPRISED IF YOU CRUSHED HIM LIKE THAT
The constant babying and patronizing of the autistic character is so exhausting to watch. I’m so tired
“Planning on sending her to the people pound but I guess I’ll keep her a little longer” - SHE WAS JOKING BUT THAT WAS NOT EVEN REMOTELY A FUNNY JOKE. NOT EVEN IN AN AWKWARD WAY
STOP THE FACES IM-
^ YEAH, Sia, totally a fucking love letter to the autistic community here ^
So Zu finds this necklace she made as a kid that had a little dog on it, and she says to Music, “He had seizures too, just like you”... MELTDOWNS AND SEIZURES ARE NOT EVEN REMOTELY THE SAME FUCK THIS MOVIE-
It’s like Sia is trying to make the movie funny but it’s really not at all
Is Zu implying that Music is autistic because the mum was a junkie?!?
For real though, the dialogue in general is so fucking awful and cringey. Whoever wrote this should never be allowed to write again
Did she seriously leave her autistic sister alone to talk to who I’m presuming was her dealer or loan shark?!?
Also why is he - a white dude - wearing cornrows?!?
So who is the film really about? The autistic girl or the older sister saviour? I think we all know the answer to that one
WHY IS SHE WALKING AROUND WITH HER TEETH JUTTING OUT LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME
The musical numbers are literally so painful to watch. The overly bright colours, the flashing... my eyes were hurting and so was my brain
Autism representation aside for a second, the musical numbers/choreography are all fucking atrocious. Ditto for the costumes
LIKE WHAT THE FUCK WERE THE PINK OOMPA LOOMPA FRUIT THINGS?!? THEY LOOK LIKE THE PINK VERSIONS OF VIOLET BEAUREGARDE THE BLUEBERRY
I wanted to cry by this point, this movie is far more awful than I thought
“I’m not saying she doesn’t want to change, I’m saying she can’t” - FUCK YOU. Why is it okay for him to assume what she can or can’t do
Can I just say that autistic people aren’t constantly in a coked up wonderland state?!! We don’t see the world as a wonderland fantasy world 24/7?!!
“She can hear you from two rooms away” / *shows her listening through two brick walls to a conversation* — Also, we don’t have super fucking sonic hearing?? WE CANT HEAR THROUGH FUCKING BRICK WALLS?!?
“She can understand everything you’re saying to her” - she’s autistic not fucking deaf
Less than 45 minutes in, there’s another meltdown in the park
“I’m not climbing on top of a small screaming white girl in public” - yeah please fucking don’t
So Zu fucking pins her down with her weight 🤦♀️
“She doesn’t know who she’s hitting” - IM SORRY WHAT
EBO LITERALLY SAID “TREAT HER LIKE A BEAR” when talking her through the prone restraint, I fucking CANNOT
“Tell her she’s safe” - NOT IF YOU FUCKING RESTRAIN HER LIKE THAT SHE IS NOT
The fact that she gets up, smiling and happy after a meltdown and immediately is excited to get a snow cone... I can honestly say that after a meltdown, I am in no way happy or smiling. I am often not very verbal and I’m withdrawn/not myself for at least several hours, usually the rest of the day. Fuck this film
This film is literally just about Zu, and Music is there for a plot device to give her character development. That’s all she’s there for.
Love how Sia shoehorned Zu being suicidal in there. You know, just to try and make her more easy to sympathize with (it doesn’t work)
This film is literally just a 1 hour 47 minute Sia music video with ZERO plot
WHY WERE THEY WEARING PILLOW DIAPERS IN ONE NUMBER-
I really did not feel into the side plot with that guy who was fighting but it was still better than the actual movie so...
I am SO DONE with the NON STOP CONSTANT vocal shit. So tired.
LOJ’s only role in this film is to be the stereotypical wise black guy who assists a white woman’s story. There’s like hardly any other depth there
The Ebo/Zu romance is so fucking stupid and pointless and out of NOWHERE. I couldn’t even tell if they were into each other or not
I was already so bored of the musical numbers by this point. They added NOTHING to the plot but they pretended they did, and I was so over it. And it’s not because I’m not “creative enough” or anything to understand, I love musicals and I think it could have been cool if done right... but it wasn’t. They were a mess. It’s just bad.
Sia really tried to pretend her movie was deep but really it’s a shallow mess
So Zu is meeting rich drug clients and says to Music “try not to have one of your freak outs up there” and “if you could try to get it out now”... FUCKING YIKES. It’s not an on/off button, shut the fuck up
YEP THIS WAS THE SIA CAMEO FUCK THAT BITCH
The fact that she just calls “DRUG DEALER?!? DRUG DEALER IS THAT YOU”, fucking end this please-
I fucking hate this bitch I’m dead serious
“We’re gonna send them to Haiti cause there’s been an earthquake. All these buildings fell down, children’s bones were dislocated” - WHY WAS SHE SO CHEERFUL ABOUT IT
“Gonna buy a shit load of pain meds, gonna but them on my private plane” - FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU
“Pop stars without borders” - Sia thinks she’s so clever but I would give anything to punch her I swear-
ANOTHER MUSICAL NUMBER JUST STOP IM BEGGING YOU
There’s this awkward conversation/bit with Zu and her drug dealer/loanshark about his outfit that was clearly meant to be funny but was just flat and painful
Yep, Sia really showed Music eating chewing gum off the underside of a park bench. Of course.
Look, the kid I work with does similar stuff by putting literally anything and everything in his mouth but like... why would you put that in your movie?
And there’s no indication before this that Music puts everything and anything in her mouth, she just randomly decides to get on her knees, under the bench and eat chewing gum, like she calculates that it’s there and gets it???
She has a THIRD meltdown after an allergic reaction to a bee sting and her sister just yells at her before realizing... I’m not here for this movie, I feel like I drifted off and was not really there
So Zu got angry because she left the drugs at the park but she’s not that upset that her sister had an allergic reaction???
Zu gets absolutely drunk because a) she lost Sia’s drugs and b) she’s stressed out by her autistic sister... wow, great message, Sia!
She really fucked off and left her sister alone to go clubbing/on a bender
The less said about the musical number here the better
Sia’s movie also checks the box of having stereotypical Asian parents, specifically stereotypical Asian dad being harsh/angry and hitting his wife!
ALSO HE PUSHED AND KILLED HIS SON WTF IS HAPPENING
Less than 3 minutes after the last, there’s a musical number that I think was about this side character going to heaven... another shitty Sia-esque number
The patterns during the number made my brain hurt.
Also there are so many autistic actors who can also dance, and yet Sia chose the neurotypical one because ✨ N E P O T I S M ✨
I just want to know how it was deemed necessary to show the fact the autistic character peed/wet herself? I mean... ??? It’s just so undignified and not at all necessary to the plot. Nothing happens after that, it just moves onto the next scene and it didn’t do anything
“I have no one” - 1) YOUR FUCKING SISTER. 2) GEE I FUCKING WONDER WHY, couldn’t be that you’re a shitty human being?!?
There’s a scene where Music is walking and she does ALL the stereotypical behaviours at once... just YIKES
Zu somehow stopped another meltdown just by grabbing Music by the shoulders and sitting her down???
Aaand yep. Another shitty musical number
Zu really goes to put her sister in a fucking facility and claims it’ll be “better for her” - BULLSHIT. Better for Zu, maybe, not Music.
Ah yes - the girl who the characters have said has problems with routines being changed/change in general... you’re now going to fuck up her routine by dumping her in a facility. Perfect Plan.
The nonverbal autistic girl suddenly speaking to say “don’t go” - you can just predict it from the off, can’t you?
Love that as soon as Music starts talking, Zu is like “fuck it, I’ll keep her!”
Zu really went and crashed Ebo’s brothers wedding... in a fucking bralette... YIKES
“I almost gave Music away” - SHE IS NOT A DOG YOU DONT GIVE PEOPLE AWAY
“We should sing a song” - PLEASE DO FUCKING NOT
Also that kiss/romance montage between Zu and Ebo was the CRINGIEST fucking shit ever
This movie seems to be implying that Music has locked in syndrome or something, like she’s locked in her own head or whatever it’s called, and I just... *sigh*
Oh and now Music magically fucking sings in a room FULL of strangers... this is literally embarrassing, please let this end
I mean it, this movie was fucking painful to watch on ever level
She got a service dog puppy which... okay?
Oh look, it’s the only decent song on the soundtrack but with an absolutely shitty over-stimulatory music video with the credits!
I can only name 5 characters in this film. Maybe 7 at a push, but even then I would be guessing
AND YEP SHE THANKED AUTISM SPEAKS OVER THE CREDITS. FUCK YOU SIA 🖕🏻
Let me reiterate: this is a movie about a neurotypical former drug addict whose character development comes from the autistic character, from having an autistic sister she has to take care of. I’m so tired.
We are NOT plot devices or tools for character development. Not once does anyone in this film treat Music like a human being - she’s treated as a burden, a problem, and then like a pet that they decide to keep. Not once is the film focused on how she is feeling - it’s always about Zu or Ebo. The performance itself was so over exaggerated and it made me want to cry when I watched it because this is how the world sees us, and this movie will make it ten times worse. It’s stuff like this that made me think “I don’t want to be labelled as autistic because people will think I’m a certain way”, that made me wait so long before going to the GP to get a referral.
As I said, poor autistic representation aside, the movie is just so appallingly bad. It truly is one of the worst films I’ve watched. If you’re going to watch it, please don’t - or, if you want to because you want to see how bad it is/to raise awareness/critical posts, at least do it illegally. Do not give Sia your money.
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Prompts
1. "Hi, my ex just walked in. Would you hold my hand please?"
2. "I didn't expect to see you here."
3. "Have you seen this dog?"
4. “That mouth of yours, does it ever stop making noise”
5. “Seven minutes in heaven is for virgin teenagers”
6. “Slam that door one more time and I’ll shove my foot straight up your cute ass”
7. “Jesus! Knock next time would you”
8. “You have money go and get yourself a hoodie that’s not mine”
9. "I hate roses, I thought you knew"
10. "Do you think I am an angel? Ha"
11. "I wanted to sleep but someone decided to die"
12. "I can kill you right now, what are you talking about?"
13. "Hi, I am lost, can you come after me?"
14. "When I first saw you I wanted to date your best friend"
15. "I am so funny and you are just jealous"
16. "If I have to choose... no"
17. "Stop breathing like that!"
18. "I just did my nails"
19. "I'm the best driver în the world"
20. "Will you marry me?" "No"
21. "I think I broke my arm" "So?"
22. "I think I love you" "Thanks"
23. "My arms are lonely, don't you think?"
24. "Apparently we are dating"
25. “Well it’s kind of hard to move when you’re sitting on my lap”
26. "Those things you said yesterday, did you mean them?"
27. "If we elope, you think they'll kill us?"
28. "This is yours"
29. "You can’t just kiss me, laugh and then walk away."
30. "Are you using ass as a pillow?"
31." I find your lack of faith disturbing."
32. "And I took it personally"
33. "In here I am the boss"
34. "Oh, bite me!" "Where?"
35. "What will you do if we break up?"
36. "Where is my T-shit?"
37. "This is no time for sarcastic comments." "There is always time for sarcastic comments."
38. "I’ll keep quiet, you won’t even know I’m here."
39. "The way you flirt is just awful"
40. "Don’t be fooled. I’m the epitome of mess."
41. " If you are on TV should I congratulate you?"
42. "And this, is why we can’t have nice things."
43. "That's what he said"
44. "I am scared of your boss"
45. "You should know, a lot of girls have a crush on me"
46. "Everyone is afraid of you"
47. "If I'm watching that movie one more time I'll lose my fucking mind!"
48. "I thought being on vacation will be stress free"
49. "My parents don't trust you"
50. "I don't think I should give my last name so easily"
51. “I really wish I could unsee that.”
52. “Who would’ve guessed we’d be sharing a room.”
53. “I feel like you have an unhealthy obsession with me.”
54. “Nah he’s fine, it’s the other one you really got to watch out for.”
55. “I have a suggestion.” “I’m not taking my clothes off so forget it.”
56. “You’re the genius, why don’t you tell me?”
57. “Have I ever told you your accent makes me swoon?” “Really?” “No.” He/she smiles. “ that’s why I’ve never told you.”
58. “I’m alive? How am I still alive?”
59. “You’re crazy! I love it!”
60. “Never have I ever is about to get a lot more interesting.”
61. “What did they do?” “Dude. They did the do.”
62. "You can’t keep pretending it didn’t happen, cause guess what? It did!"
63. "Well this is awkward."
64. "Im too sober for this."
65. "Im pregnant." "Wall done, Virgin Mary!"
66. " I want to protect you."
67. "Kill that spider and maybe I'll forgive you"
68. "I have no one to go to the wedding"
69. "Don’t you dare touch _______!"
70. "I thought you were dead!"
71. "This is, without a doubt, the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in."
72. "Take care of you, please"
73. "If your best friend single?"
74. "Just remember, if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English."
75. "Why does everyone assume we're a couple?"
76. "Im craving something sweet" "Are you pregnant or something?"
77. " What is the magic word?" "I'll kill you în your sleep"
78. "When I see you my knees get weak"
79. "Finally you're single. Can I take you on a date?"
80. " So, I guess you don’t do after hours?"
81. "I know what I'm doing, I've watched two whole seasons of Grey's Anatomy."
82. "I can't believe I'm stuck here with you right now."
83. "Okay, this did not go as I planned it in the shower."
84. "I'm not going to sit around and watch you destroy yourself."
85. "You were my best friend"
86. "You did what?"
87. "Can you just pretend to love me for a second!"
88. "You are enough"
89. "Take the shirt off"
90. "Your nickname is bitch"
91. "What do you want to watch?" "You"
92. "How could you ask me that?"
93. "Your mouth does this thing and I can't resist it"
94. "Are you allowed to drink?"
95. "I said Im done, leave me alone!"
96. "Don’t raise your fucking voice at me”
97. “Yeah, I remember the drill”
98. “Tell me again, slowly this time, why that dog is in my bed.”
99. “Gave you so much, but it wasn’t enough.”
100. “You and me, we were destined to fall apart.”
101. “No, you don’t know who you are until somebody breaks your heart.”
102. “I want to tell you everything. The words I never got to say the first time around.”
103. “It’s better to feel pain, than nothing at all.”
Song lyrics prompts
1. “It’s the little things about us, that I love so much.”
2. “Last night I told you I loved you // woke up blamed it on the vodka”
3. “It’s a better place since you came along”
4. “You make me love the things I hate “
5. Just a paper sheet and half a cigarette are left in my hand
6. Your faith walks on broken glass
7. "And can you teach me how to dance real slow?"
8. "I'll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe"
9. "One night, you won't forget the rest of your life"
10. "We only said goodbye with words"
11. "I'll try to give you love until the day you drop"
12. "I like the pretty boys with the bow tie"
13. "Lets get drunk forget what we did"
14. Your kisses lift me higher
15. When you're ready we can share the wine
16. "And if you don't love me now you will never love me again"
17. "Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?"
18. "When there's nothing to lose and there's nothing to prove"
19. She's the kind of girl who only asks you over when its raining, just to make you lie there catching water dripping from the ceiling.
20. Now I understand, you're a human, and you got to lie, you're a man
21. The good and the bad times: we've been through them all.
22. Now I ain't educated but I sure ain't stupid
23. I grew up in the shoes they told me I could fill
24. It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep
25. A lover would just complicate my plans
26. And in the morning, i’ll be with you, but it will be a different kind
27. My heart is yours, it’s you that i hold on to
28. And with one kiss, you inspired a fire of devotion that lasts for twenty years
29. I let go of my claim on you, it’s a free world
30. I’m in my bed, and you’re not here and there’s no one to blame, but the drink in my wandering hands
31. Cause you gave me peace and i wasted it, I’m here to admit that you were my medicine
32. Oh, dear diary, i met a boy, he made my doll heart light up with joy. Oh, dear diary, we fell apart, welcome to the life of electra heart
33. For you, I would cross the line, I would waste my time, I would lose my mind
34. Is it really me you're missing?
35. Remember that night?
36. How many times can I break till I shatter?
37. As long as I breathe, I’ll call you my home
38. "You wouldn't know love if it crushed your fucking chest."
39. "When we scream our lips don't make a sound."
40. "Please don't let me sink, wrap your arms around me and carry me home."
41. "This hasn't torn us apart so nothing ever will."
42. "A long time ago we believed that we were united."
43. "I miss the person that you were but I don't miss you."
44. "If home is where the heart is, why do I feel so fucking heartless?"
45. "I can't live, I can't breathe with or without you just go away."
46. "I'm not afraid to die, I'm afraid I'll survive and have to watch you suffer."
47. "I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away."
48. "I'm not like you I just fuck up."
49. "All because of you I believe in angels, not the kind with wings, no not the kind with halos. The kind that bring you home when home becomes a strange place."
50. "I just want to go to sleep and never wake up again."
51. “I wish people liked me more.”
52. “How could I ever love someone else?”
53. “I guess you’re getting everything you want.”
54. “She probably gives you butterflies.”
55. “I hope that you’re okay.”
56. “I defended you to all my friends.”
57. “I never cared about what they say, only care about me and you”
58. “Either way i’m gonna lose, so i’m just gonna keep on loving you”
59. “You know i’m bad at communication, it’s the hardest thing for me to do”
60. “Iwas your lover, i was your friend, now I’m only just someone you call when it’s late enough to forget”
61. “It’s fucked up but it’s true that i love you like i do”
62. “Well we both had nights waking up in strangers beds but i don’t wanna, don't wanna, i don’t wanna give up yet”
63. “Tell me I’ve got it wrong somehow.”
64. “I’m begging for you to take my hand.”
65. “I can’t make it go away by making you the villain.”
66. “He feels like home.”
67. “I’d be breaking all my rules to see you.”
68. “But I know you’re not scared of anything at all.”
69. “When can I come back?”
70. “I’m ready to owe you anything”
71. “I’ll always look best in your head”
72. “I know you know it’s wrong, but I’m ready”
73. “All I ever want is breaking me apart.”
74. “Let's talk sweetly like all our love is false.”
75. “You put a fire in my heart, painted blood on my stars, gave me faith.”
76. “I wanna meet your girlfriend, she sounds nice.”
77. “How is kissing me so wrong?“
78. “Can’t you see that I’m already yours?”
79. “I’ve been losing track of the romantic sh*t I’m tryna say but basically I love you"
80. “I don’t wanna be your friend, I wanna kiss your lips, I wanna kiss you until I lose my breath”
81. “I apologize for all your tears, I wish I could be different but I’m still growing up into the one you can call your love”
82. “I’m out of my head, of my heart, of my mind cause you can run but you can’t hide, I’m gonna make you mine”
83. "I never loved someone the way that I love you"
84. "It's the way that you know what I thought I knew, it's the beat that my heart skips when I'm with you"
85. "I hope she gettin' better sex, hope she ain't fakin' it like I did, babe"
86. “I know we’re young and people change and we may never feel the same”
87. “I can’t change the world, but maybe I’ll change your mind”
88. "You don't own me. Don't tie me down 'cause I'd never stay."
89. "Leave everything that is worth a single cent and just take me instead."
90. "And then I got you off your knees, put you right back on your feet, just so you can take advantage of me."
91. "Hey, I can't let you go with nobody. Cause I love you, baby."
92. "Tell me that it wasn't my fault and that I was enough for you."
93. "We were good at faking forever, I get it, whatever."
94. "Cause you had your chance and you blew it. Yeah, you ripped it up and you chewed it."
95. "Well, I'm too busy for your business. Go find a girl who wants to listen."
96. "Stop looking at me with those eyes, like I could disappear and you wouldn't care why."
97. "Oh, we could do whatever you want, but boy, don't go falling in love, you can't stay with me, all you'll ever have is one day with me"
98. "I pray the medication slow me down, but that shit doesn't work when you're around"
99. "Told her that I loved her once and now she'd kill for me"
100. "What the tell were we? Tell me we weren't just friends"
Who I write for
Formula 1
Daniel Ricciardo
Lewis Hamilton
Max Verstappen
Charles Leclerc
Esteban Ocon
Carlos Sainz
Lando Norris
Lance Stroll
Sebastian Vettel
Mick Schumacher
Pierre Gasly
George Russel
Football
Erling Haaland
Jadon Sancho
Giovanni Reyna
Jude Bellingham
Julian Brandt
Marco Reus
Roman Bürki
Emre Can
Mats Hummels
Leon Goretzka
Joshua Kimmich
Kai Havertz
Mason Mount
Christian Pulisici
Ben Chilwell
Gerard Pique
João Félix
Ianis Hagi
Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain
Trent Alexander-Arnold
Virgil van Dijk
Jens Petter Hauge
Martin Ødegaard
Alexander Sørloth
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#imagine#fanfiction#formula 1#football#my prompts#soccer#erling haaland#daniel ricciardo#max verstappen#charles leclerc#carlos sainz jr#lando norris#lance stroll#lewis hamilton#premier league#bundesliga#grand prix
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Daybreak (7/?) [Wolf Keum x Reader x Alex Go]
Summary: The day brings to you Alex Go, and in the night, Wolf Keum. Your past is inescapable. They build you up and tear you back down, but this is what you need to survive.
Genre: Romance, Angst, Drama
——
There were three messages from Alex on your phone for you when you got back home.
One concerned for your wellbeing, one worried for whether you got home, and another apologizing for being brash.
You skimmed all of them and opened none.
Night turned into day, and that day into another night, until eventually a week had gone past.
He hadn't messaged you again. Even though you weren't expecting anything, you still waited for something, anything, to happen.
You knew you had to be the one to reach out again, but whenever you opened your messages and stared at his name, a stone would sit itself in your gut and weigh you down, heavy, burdensome and unrelenting until you put the phone down.
The thought that perhaps allowing yourself to become close to Alex Go wasn't such a good idea, the thought that maybe someone like you, so stuck and still hurting in the past would only serve to anchor him down, ran through your mind.
You tried everything to distract yourself.
Within the week you had been thrust back into loneliness, you were a fish out of water. You tried to grasp at anything to occupy the space in your mind, jogs in the morning, after school, in the middle of the night. It tired you out, but never enough to placate your mind.
Between the bouts of exercise, you tried to understand the situation. You think about Alex Go and his friend Ben in middle school, and you thought about Alex Go and you in the present. You think about the broken the stoplight, and how it connected to the night everything changed.
He had been the one to destroy the traffic light.
You had many days and nights to ponder about this, alone in your room. He was the reason that on that fateful night, on that sad, dim street corner, the light flashed erratically between "go" and "stop." He was the reason it was brandished forever in your mind, your mourning heart, and on blood stained hands.
Your chest ached with regret, so deep and harrowing that you wished you could tear it out. It was curious how reckless life was with passion, sincerity and good will. It stung especially painfully seeing indifference and injustice can convene so sharply right before your eyes. One second there, the next gone.
When you closed your eyes, you could still see your hand, bleached with moonlight and stilled, reaching out to him. A whisper on your lips, dying on your breath to fall upon deafened ears.
All bitter memories.
Dampening your eyes and shaking your core, but no matter where you looked, how many reasons you turned over, you could find no spite for Alex Go. The same Alex Go who, when smiling, parted the clouds and called off the rain. Alex Go, who could never wish harm on anyone, not intentionally.
In a desperate attempt to salvage peace of mind, you had picked up the pen again despite knowing what would happen.
You'd just write whatever was on your mind. It wasn't a story, or a continuation to a novel, it was just pages and pages of nonsense with no exact order. And though it was indubitably the voice of your mind, you felt nothing while writing it and it frustrated you to no end. It couldn't be helped, these words had been bouncing around your head so long they had made refuge in your skin, your fingers, controlling your life long before they were on paper. But you didn't need to see your thoughts to understand them. You needed solace. Needed peace. Needed someone to tell you that you would be okay.
But you didn't have these things, so you kept pressing on, like pouring out these words could help you find the ones you wanted to send Alex when the basin was empty. Poised and pen in hand, for as long as you could, like endurance training, until your wrists burned and your body ached.
It never lasted long, those bouts of writing. So when you could no longer run, or think, or write, you would toss in turn in bed, skimming the brink of sleep and consciousness. There would be moments of clarity, and they always hit you hard and fast. Made you grab for your phone, adrenaline roaring through your veins when you typed out a response to him, something, anything.
Sometimes it was an apology or a simple hello, but other times the sensation would give you an intense high.
You'd remember his laugh, the fierceness to which he defended you from the bitter taste of blame, and it was then that your heart reached out to him, a cacophony of white noise and static that would always die at your fingertips when you hit backspace, remembering the hurt on his face, the pain because of you.
Then you'd think of Wolf. Somehow, at the end of every restless night you spent rolling in bed, hazel eyes flashed in your vision, watching you inscrutably. Hot like fire, icy like a tundra. Almost close enough to touch and feel the burn, the chill.
Tonight as you lay in bed, you ponder the weekend ahead of you. Wonder how many nights you spent alone in your room. Think about your classmates making more memories while you keep reliving your own in a nightmarish daze.
You think about these things until you exhaust yourself, but even then, sleep refuses to claim you.
So you pick yourself up, dust yourself off. Pull on some clothes, comb through your hair. Then you're out the door again, in search of something to make you feel alive.
When you arrive in front of the bar, the moon is strung high and the stars hang far below it, dipping into the darker crevices of Yeongduengpo. It's later than you'd normally show up and catching Wolf at this hour would be nothing short of a miracle, but you were willing to take your chances.
And then like magic he's right in front of you, before you even open the door, before you even enter the bar.
He's with his friends, the same ones that had seen you the first night and a couple more.
One of his hands is braced on the door, and for a second you think that perhaps he's taken by surprise as much as you are. There's a glimmer in his eye, a quirk of his lip. Then the bell chimes above your heads and pulls you back to reality, suddenly feeling quite small and vulnerable in front of so many prying eyes.
Your fingers tingle so you reach up to tug at your top, the chill of the night air biting into your flesh and raising gooseskin.
Your eyes dart from Wolf to the men behind him, wondering if you should address him, if being associated with you in public was damaging to him.
Before you can think too much, Wolf gives a feral grin. "I'll catch up later. Don't wait up."
It only occurs that he isn't speaking to you when the intimidating crowd moves past him without further question, muttering about which internet café was open 24/7 and who had enough money to pay.
They give passing glances as they saunter past you, though none of them seem to suspect you were the reason for Wolf's sudden change of plans, or even recognize you as the wayward drunk from the weeks prior.
You turn and watch them make their way down the block, spitting and cussing and scaring people into crossing the street. Only when they're specks in the distance to you turn back to Wolf Keum, who's lavender hair gleamed nearly silver in the moonlight.
He's still propping the door open, more leaning on it now than anything else.
"Well?"
You swallow thickly, still a bit stunned from the parade of delinquents he showcased just now.
Just who was Wolf Keum?
The men who you had seen just were no doubt untame, with their school uniforms unbuttoned, hair dyed and tongues lashing obscenities. Yet still with all these pugnacious men in one place, Wolf had managed to command them without even turning to address them directly.
You wondered what about this man could be so powerful, so strong that he could instill his rule as absolute with even such fearsome crowds.
His lips curve into a salacious smirk at your gaping, and only then do you realize he's waiting for you to come in.
You slip from the crisp autumn air into the thrumming atmosphere of the bar with a murmur of an apology, Wolf following not too far behind you.
"You an alcoholic or something?" It's a jest, but the tone of his voice is buttery and dark and makes it much less funny and more nerve-wracking.
"Worry about yourself." You bite, and it comes out curter that anticipated so you chew your lip, trying hard not to look too ashamed.
Wolf isn't deterred, falling in stride beside you and not missing a beat. "It was a business meeting, can't drink through that, as much as those fuckasses make me want to."
You want to respond to his quips, but your mind is preoccupied with the hordes of people swarming the premises.
There's a larger crowd than you're used to, much more mature individuals, faces lined with wrinkles, exacerbated by the yellow lighting, palming at their temples. The usual low hum of conversation is replaced with occasional shouts and crashing glass, though no one seems to think this is unusual but yourself. You push onwards until you see that there's a tired looking businessman in your usual seat.
Wolf senses your hesitation and follows your gaze, catching wind of the situation. He leans over a bit, hands in his pockets, breath hot on your ear.
"You seen the billiards room downstairs before?"
You shake your head no and you can feel him chuckle, exhaling air through his nose. He takes one step forward then another, ambling through the mass of people without another word. For the brief moment he leaves your side, time slows down. You watch Wolf's retreating back and feel almost alone. The bar, usually your place of comfort, had turned unfamiliar and foreign, leaving a cold sensation in your chest.
Your heartbeat comes slow and heavy in your ears, like a beating drum. You wonder why you're even here, what you have to prove to yourself, or anyone else. Fingers clutch at your bag, feeling the outline of your phone, cool and solid in your grasp. You wonder if you had any new messages.
"You coming?"
Wolf calls to you over his shoulder, waiting in the middle of the crowd that seems to part for him naturally.
He extends a hand to you, fingers still, gaze unwavering. His dark eyes dance in the lights, lips pulled into a curve echoing a crescent moon. A man of the night, shining amongst the stars, brightest in the darkest hours.
"Yeah, sorry. I was just thinking."
You reach out and your fingers graze his hand, a gossamer touch, his skin calloused and soft to the touch. A blush works its way across your cheeks and you're glad he doesn't catch it, already turned away to make his way to the crowd. He wraps his hand around your fingers and tugs you along, guiding both of your bodies through the restless throng, past the bar, past the tables and to a staircase shrouded in darkness, illuminated by a single golden lightbulb.
#weak hero#webtoon weak hero#weak hero webtoon#webtoon#webcomic#wolf keum#alex go#wolf keum x reader#alex go x reader#reader insert
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bsd as their zodiac signs | port mafia
a/n: continuation of the bsd as zodiac signs series !! i’ll try to make some more for other characters (very interested in discussing fyodor being a scorpio) so stay tuned for that in the near future !!
▸ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ◂
chuuya nakahara | taurus
kgljgkajd CHUUYA IS SUCH A TAURUS I JUST HAVE TO SAY THAT RIGHT NOW
when i saw this i squealed because we’re compatible so if you’re a cancer come get your man
aNYWAY
tauruses are known for being very stubborn, loyal, and hardworking and chuuya definitely shows all of that
loyalty is very important to him which is why he’s pretty much dedicated his life to the mafia. also him being able to climb up to the executive position is because of his hard work
also works pretty much 24/7 and if he’s not doing missions he’s doing paperwork
baby needs a break
tauruses, and other earth signs as well, are known to be materialistic and self-indulgent too but that mostly comes from how hardworking they are too
spending money is just one of his ways to self-care (he is a self-care king) and it’s a reward for himself after all those missions
he can get a bit extravagant though like,, he has a closet full of things he kind of regrets buying (either that or he gifts them to people)
chuuya’s actually really good at cooking. he’s very much a healthy eater and likes to put effort into what he eats
he would actually love to cook for his friends he’s just too tsundere to admit that
him being a taurus gives him the makings of a mom friend and yet chuuya is reluctant to accept this
akutagawa ryuunosuke | pisces
ngl pisces are just very strange in general it’s so hard for me to put a finger on their personality
but one thing that i do notice a lot is that pisces tend to be very mature or sometimes very wise-sounding when they talk
and akutagawa does have that very mature and serious air when he talks to people. he’s very composed and articulate when he speaks
pisces also tend to be quite insecure and self-blaming (according to co-star their source of weakness is themselves yes i have the site up whenever i write)
and akutagawa, despite his strength, doesn’t see himself as powerful
it’s because he tends to remember a lot of past hurts and isn’t quite able to move on
likes to just have quiet time to himself to sip tea but it’s often interrupted by his own Thoughts so he goes back to look for work or something else to do
i feel like that akutagawa has this tendency to collect things that pique his interest. just little knickknacks from missions like a piece of glass or a really cool rock
has this tendency to just tune out when people are talking and then he’ll nod his head and pretend to understand
he’s re-enacted multiple scenarios in his head of dazai praising him for his growth somebody help him
ozaki koyou | capricorn
my love for capricorns is endless and that definitely extends to koyo ozaki
she exudes so much dignified energy i can feel it through my laptop screen and i bet it would be such a dream to work for her
she’s very organized and meticulous when it comes to her work i bet her brain is just full of important dates and to-do lists
that said, koyo likes to pay special attention to her appearance too, her attire, hair, and make-up just to match her overall put-together vibe
deliberately chose not to wear suits like everyone else in the mafia because she knows it’ll be too powerful
that said, capricorns are also very detached with their emotions and they like to keep things nice and ✨repressed✨
she’s not one to express affections or emotion outright because a) that would be a waste of time and b) why?
but she does value connections and relationships she’s built over time and won’t let go of things like those so easily
like her adopted son, koyo does like to indulge a bit in nice, expensive things
when she’s willing to give herself a break, she likes to unwind in a hot springs resort or buy herself a new kimono (her closet is immaculate btw)
that said, she probably has a billion pet peeves including but not limited to: people who chew gum real loud, when someone opens a door and doesn’t close it behind them, chewing while talking, the smell of coffee--
all of her fellow executives and mori take great pains to memorize these pet peeves so that they’re not under koyo’s death glare
▸ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ◂
taglist (check out my post for details on being part of my taglist): @waitforitillwritemywayout @atsumusdomain @laure-chan @goodfoodxoxoxo @guardianangelswings @ah-kaashi @amberalisa @whootwhoot @liz-multifandom-hotel @kac-chowsballs @violentfarewll @fyoyacanruinmylifethanks
#bungou stray dogs#bsd#bsd headcanons#chuuya nakahara#chuuya#akutagawa ryuunosuke#akutagawa#ozaki koyou#koyou#port mafia#port mafia headcanons#bsd character analysis#bungou stray dogs headcanons#bsd as their zodiac signs
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i figured i would share my story with realizing i am sapphic and encountering the heteronormativity that has been ingrained so deeply into my mind for years. i would love to know if other sapphics can can relate!
click read more if interested!
i never liked boys as a kid. not really. my friends would talk about boys with excitement and obsession, and i would find myself wondering just what the big deal was. however, i figured i would grow into it.
i remember thinking i had crushes on boys, occasionally. i would find myself thinking about certain popular, conventionally attractive boys, and saying to myself: “i really want him to like me!” and thinking that that was how everybody else felt. the thought of dating them was incredibly unappealing, but i figured i would grow into it.
what never crossed my mind was the possibility of my intense admiration towards a certain female friend of mine being anything more than close friendship. it was a “friendship crush” and nothing more.
towards the end of middle school, i learned about asexuality. immediately, i jumped to it as my answer. i resonated deeply with the alienation growing up of hearing about crushes and attraction that i couldn’t relate to. surely, i was straight and DID like boys. just not in the way that other people did. it was a relief. i was “normal” enough.
i moved through high school with that same mindset. i found myself waiting for some switch to flip, when something in my mind would change and suddenly i would be interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with a boy. i kept telling myself “i’m just not ready yet! soon, i will be.” soon, surely, the mental image i had of the ‘perfect man’ would come to sweep me off my feet, and i would finally understand what it was all about. soon.
however, despite patiently waiting, it never happened. i remember a classmate once seemed sort of interested in me, and for a brief moment the validation that he may find me attractive felt really good! but the moment he started trying to initiate something i felt immense distaste. “oh well, he must not be my type. i’ll keep waiting.” yet still, those feelings never did show up.
what did happen, though, changed everything. i reconnected with an old friend, the one who i had decidedly had a “friendship crush” on during elementary and middle school. now, as she crashed back into my life during my senior year of high school, my understanding of those feelings changed. i wanted to spend every possible moment by her side, making her smile and laugh as much as possible. i wanted to tell her everything about my life, and to hear all about hers. i wanted to kiss her, to wrap her up tightly in my arms and show her the extent of my love. i wanted her to want me as much as i wanted her.
and in that moment of realization, it was like seeing colors i had never known existed. i suddenly understood what love songs were talking about, i understood the feeling of thinking about someone 24/7, i understood why people worked so hard to be worthy of someone else’s love, the pain of caring so much for someone who doesn’t look your way. it all made sense. and i knew then, that i had NEVER felt this for a boy.
yet still, even as i spent every day fantasizing about a relationship with my female friend, i was somehow telling myself “this is an exception. you are still MOSTLY straight” or “you’re faking it, this is a phase.” even now, i hear that voice in my mind, telling me that surely i’m still straight, because that is what i’ve always been! if anything, i was willing to accept being bi, since it still meant i could remain in the belief that i like guys.
i did my research and learned about compulsory heterosexuality. i resonate a lot with the concept, and am starting to come to a point of better understanding and acceptance that i don’t like guys, or at least never have. it’s hard though, since i don’t look at pretty actresses and feel attracted to them, just as i dont with male actors. i’ve come to identify with being demisexual and romantic, so it’s hard to gauge. all i have is my one experience with romantic feelings towards the girl i like, so while i know for sure that i like girls, its hard to know just how different my feelings towards them are from guys. so the label “lesbian” doesn’t quite feel right.
i’ve found a deep love for the label “sapphic” since i feel like it allows me to focus on the fact that i DO like girls, instead of focusing on whether my attraction is exclusive to them. i don’t think it’s impossible for me to fall in love with a man, but i AM in love with a girl. that much is clear. and that’s something to celebrate!
that’s about it, and if anyone decided to actually read this and got this far, thank you for listening to me blabber about my personal life! i hope there was something of value in here for someone, if anyone relates to my experiences i would love to hear.
#personal#wlw blog#comphet#compulsory heterosexuality#i feel weird typing all of this out but it’s a little cathartic
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Two Steps Ahead
PART THREE OF HUNTER (formerly hunter and prey)
gif by @princessxkenobi
Rating: Explicit Content Warnings: SMUT, Fighting as Foreplay, Rough Sex, Penetrative Sex(PIV), Unprotected Sex, Dirty talk, Praise kink, Size kink, Big Dick Mando, Top Mando, Sub/Dom elements, Very slight Pain Kink, possible CNC elements although I didn’t write that I also want to warn anyone who doesn’t want to read about rough sex with physical fighting as foreplay Words: 6.9k AO3 LINK
Summary: Reader and Mando start tracking their first bounty together
A/N: i believe things are happening...interesting
***
“I feel like you have a distinct advantage here.” A bead of sweat drips over your brow as you mop at your sweltering forehead in irritation. Your temple throbs as you press on it, pain shooting down your neck at the pressure.
It’s so fucking humid here. You’re tracking one of Mando’s bail jumpers in the middle of a boggy swamp planet that you never caught the name of and you’ve been walking through the forest for at least 24 hours, only stopping for water and ration breaks. Based on the holo-map you’re currently staring at, this entire planet is one big swamp, with no escape from the damp, sticky environment.
The thing barely makes sense, a jumble of colors and shapes that worsens your headache the longer you try to figure it out. You had borrowed a thin shirt from Mando before setting out, but it does little to protect you from the buzzing swarms of insects, while at the same time it reflects just enough heat to have you sweltering.
Mando acts unbothered under all that padding and armor, trekking through the trees without any visible sign of struggle. You don’t understand how he can stay awake for so long without caf, yourself being covered in caf-patches to keep from passing out. It’s probably somewhat dangerous to have so much of the stimulant coursing through your veins, but oh well. If my heart gives out then at least I’ll escape the bugs.
“Footprints aren’t the only way to track a quarry.” He returns mildly, moving swiftly over tangled tree-roots to avoid the pools of murky water that litter the forest floor. You move with less grace behind him, trying to climb slippery wood and juggle the holo at the same time. The twisted trees of this planet seem to reach inward to point at the forest floor, giving you the impression of being trapped within their clutches. The eerie feeling isn’t helped by the distinct lack of light, odd lichen tendrils drape between branches to create a blanket that absorbs most natural light from the sky. A faint glow emanates from the tendrils, basking the forest with ghostly illumination. You scramble to the top of the particularly tall root he’s perched on then plop down to catch your breath.
“No, it’s not the only way,” you pause to take a swig from your water skin, dabbing off the spilled drops from your chin with your sleeve, “but the footprints you track are apparently all glowy and red. I get to look with my naked eyes for shit like depressions in the ground, which is so fun considering the only paths here are solid wood.”
Mando rolls his helmet on his shoulders, the effect similar to someone rolling their eyes. When he speaks it’s short and gruff, annoyed by your attitude. Which is… appropriate. The hours you’ve spent walking in this heat together is starting to snap both of your tempers. “Stop complaining.”
He’s not wrong about the footprints. You’re mostly annoyed because of how useless you feel, more like you’re tagging along than assisting him on the hunt. Drawing your eyebrows together you try to come up with a plan. Most of those mercenary skills you talked up for Karga don’t apply here, this naturalistic setting is too messy and... wild. Unpredictable. You’re used to the structure that comes with starships and cities, places engineered and civilized.
Tracking people isn’t very hard, you’ve done it plenty of times before. The only issue is that all of your practice came from environments where they left clear signs of direction, displaced gravel indicating a shoe-print, broken branches, a trail in sand. It also helps that your targets didn’t know they were being stalked. The only path here is over hard wooden tree roots, with nothing to indicate direction, not even moss grows over the foot trail for traveling feet to mark. You take in a deep breath and hold it for several seconds before letting out all your air in one huge swoop.
“I’m sorry, “ you tell him sincerely, “I want to help you -and not just for a bigger cut. Is there anything I can do?” You truly do feel bad for snapping at him even if you know you’re right about his advantage. Just because you don’t have fancy thermal settings and footprint tracking doesn’t mean you’re useless. The Mandalorian settles his hands on his hips and surveys the area, looking for a task to assign you. His helmet tilts up and lingers on the trees, and you’re already two steps ahead before he can voice his idea.
“I can climb,” you interject, standing up swiftly and moving. “Trees can’t be more slippery than a spacecraft.”
He nods in acknowledgment. “Find something and your cut goes up by five percent.”
“Ten percent.” You grin at him cheekily, wanting to tease him even if he won’t give it to you.
“Eight, if you find somewhere to camp.”
“Deal.” You return, already halfway to the widest tree you can reach without getting your feet wet. The trunk is covered in knots and twisted vines, ugly but providing fantastic handholds for your hands and feet. Grabbing hold of a sturdy looking ledge you begin your ascent.
The climb is fairly easy even with the woods damp surface, and you reach the forest canopy with minimal effort. Carefully squirreling around the thin top-most branches you attempt to find a break-through point, the wood beneath you bowing a little from your weight.
When you finally poke your head through and see the sky you gasp, taken aback by the sight. You hadn’t hung around in the cockpit during landing, instead choosing to pack the bags while Mando skillfully piloted his ship. The forest floor is all you’ve seen of the planet and apparently you’ve missed a lot.
The sky here is beautiful, a color palette that is completely opposite from the dark, damp underbelly of the forest ground. Swirling aquamarine clouds float lazily in the sky, speckling the orange hued atmosphere above you. There are at least 6 pale moons lined up on the horizon from edge to edge, stars twinkling around each orb as if drawn to their orbit. You drink in the sight greedily, the ache in your head lessening in the natural light. This is so much better than the cold stark metal of space stations that you’re used to living on.
It’s hard to tell the time based on the sky alone, the moons must be constantly present in the sky no matter the time of day and you can’t find a single sun. Maybe this planet lives off the light and heat from each moon, reflected from a distant star? The thought is lovely but you don’t think it’s possible. You file the image away for your daydreams then divert your eyes back to the thick forest, searching for anything useful to tell Mando.
The line of trees is unbroken, a sea of dark green leaves and glowing lichen. An orange sky helps to warm up the pale glow from the lichen but it’s eeriness still sends a shiver through you. Everything on the horizon is of even height, betraying nothing within its depths. It isn’t ideal. You gnaw your lip anxiously, dreading to return to Mando without any information especially on your first hunt together. Eyes flitting around desperately, you try to analyze any possible breaks in the natural pattern of trees.
Could that be a settlement there? You think, looking at a slightly thinner section of forest that might roughly be three miles away. You aren’t sure about the planet’s curvature and how flat the terrain is so you double check the holo, looking for the information.
Something catches your eye as you’re pulling up the data, just substantial enough in your peripheral version that you stop what you’re doing. There is a mist rising from that thinned area, far enough away that you mistook it as some sort of lighting effect from the overwhelming color palette here. That has to be steam right? It’s too thick to be naturally occurring from the bog. There must be machinery over there. A settlement hopefully.
You’re about to climb down when you pause, looking at the still lit holo with renewed curiosity. Something about the map visually paired with your clear view of the forest allows the pieces to fall in place. When you compare the shape of the map to the trees you’re finally able to make sense of what you previously thought was a topographical mess. A built pathway lies here, a body of water there. And clearings. Several clearings not too far from where you are now, the perfect size to settle down in. Hopefully they’re dry.
Either the caf-patches are finally sending you into cardiac arrest or you’re manically happy to finally be of help to your hunting partner, but either way, you’re grinning so widely that your teeth clatter together.
“Hey Mando! Guess what you owe me?” You shout down at the ground, beginning to descend. You’re so excited that you practically slide down the vines, jumping to the ground when you’re several feet high in the air, sore muscles creaking at the impact. The Mandalorian is sitting now, resting with his elbow propped on his knee while he waited for you to come back. There’s a soft pang in your chest and you wonder if he’s tired. You brush it off, feeling as though you’re just projecting, and instead grin widely at him in triumph. “7 percent increase for me!”
He lifts his helmet and looks you up and down. “What did you find?”
You reply chirpily, hands grasped behind your back and shit-eating grin still plastered on your face. “There is a settlement of some kind roughly three miles that way,” you point in the direction where you saw the steam, “and several clearings nearby suitable to camp in, if we don’t want to head in right away. Oh, also we aren’t on the actual path used by locals here, the asset must be making an effort to hide.”
“That isn’t very smart of them,” Din observes, shaking his head at the concept. “Busy path hides more prints.”
“Hm…” You take that in, wondering what other techniques a quarry may use to shake its hunter.
It occurs to you that there is a lot you could learn from the Mandalorian, since so far hunting someone has been notably different from your mercenary missions. You’ll find a moment to ask questions later once you’re settled down for the night, wherever that’ll be. “Do you want to camp or find the maybe-settlement?”
“We should camp,” he responds immediately, rising from his seated position and walking closer to you, “we don’t know what we’ll face there. You can choose the area, since you climbed the tree.”
You pull up the holo-map again and zoom in on the different options, feeling far more energized now that you actually know what you’re doing. There are two spots that seem encouraging, both a short hike away from where you are now but removed enough to grant you some privacy. You’ll still need to set up a watch to prevent ambush or stray travelers from finding you but it’ll be easier if you make an effort to hide. One of the clearings seems to have a running water source, you hope it’s cleaner than the still-water you’re currently surrounded by. Maybe you can bathe there too.
“Lets go here,” you pull up the coordinates for Mando, “that looks like a stream, right?”
He leans into your body for a closer look, broad chest just brushing against you in a way that sends flutters through your tummy. You know he can zoom in with his visor, there is no reason he needs to be so close to you except for your benefit. He seems to enjoy messing with you like this, throwing you off with unexpected touches, looks, and gestures. It’s like a game he plays and you’d be far more annoyed by his teases if it wasn’t so exciting.
“Looks good,” he rumbles low in his chest. “Fresh water would be nice.”
Your heart quickens, but you tried to hide your reaction by teasing him back, tapping your fingers on his helm and stepping away. “I was hoping to clean myself up, actually…”
Mando straightens up at this, visor locked on your face.
“Lead the way.” He returns quietly, giving away nothing. Trying not to smile, you start off in the direction of the clearing, for once moving faster than your armored companion.
Your goal isn’t very far, only about 3 miles north of your previous position and a mile adjacent to the settlement you’ll pay a visit to tomorrow. Large, fuzzy fronds of an alien fern droop down the sides of the hollow clearing, providing a barrier between the forest and empty space in between. The trees still tangle above the open area, blocking out part of the beautiful sky, save a few of the large moons, and old pieces of charcoal are ground into the sandy earth here, a sight that makes you a little anxious. This spot must be used by others, you’ll have to be more careful with setting up the watch than expected.
The water source turns out to be a small spring set on the edge of a cliff at the far end of the clearing, a sizable waterfall cascading down the side and gathering in a crystalline pool. Skipping ahead of Mando to the edge of the pool you crouch and dip your fingers in the cool water, sighing in relief as it relieves some of the warmth in your overheated body.
You’re unable to hear Mando’s approach - how he is so stealthy under 50 pounds of metal escapes you, but you feel him behind you. You smirk. Arching your back as you rise, you turn around slowly and begin to make eyes in his direction however, when you actually see what he's doing, you cringe at yourself in embarrassment. He’s not looking like you assumed, instead he is surveying the clearing skeptically, body-language imbued with disapproval. Your heart simultaneously sinks to your stomach and contracts in frustration. You thought you had finally done something right.
“What? Is something wrong?” You ask him tightly, subtly shrinking in on yourself in disappointment. You try to hide this by fiddling idly with a stray thread on your tunic, stubbornly keeping your head lifted high despite wishing you could disappear. He doesn’t respond right away, instead turning and walking the length of the clearing then back, stopping just in front of you sharply. You meet his visor with your eyes, holding the look until you feel like you’re burning up in shame from the pressure of it.
“It’s too… open,” he finally says, voice halting as he tries to find the correct words. “Anyone could walk into our camp.”
“I figured we’d set up a watch. There’s only one entrance-”
He interrupts you. “One ground entrance. Anyone can climb down from the trees.”
“Maybe, but this planet isn’t supposed to be dangerous, is it? Practically abandoned,” You huff out, fists clenching at your sides as you argue with him. “Besides. It’s… pretty here.”
The Mandalorian sighs, pinching the helmet just below the visor where his nose bridge would be. “Fine. I’ll take the first watch. No fire.”
Nodding in response, you cross the clearing and set your bag down on a log, letting out a sigh in relief. That’s fine by you, you don’t need the extra warmth and the glowing lichen provides enough light to get by. You really did not want to hike again after moving for 24 hours straight. Mando mirrors your movements, leaning his rifle next to your pack before settling on the sandy earth. A loaded pause passes between you, earlier implications at the forefront of your minds.
Letting out a shuddering breath you crouch down and pull your old tunic from your bag, slinging it over your shoulder before making your way back to the small pond. The water is completely clear, an inviting sight after the marshy puddles that made up the forest ground on your way here. You’re facing the water now but you’re still well aware of the man behind you, the intensity of his gaze burning even through the impassive visor. The invitation is clear. Take it off.
But you aren’t sure if you want to give him that yet. The exhaustion from today has wrung you dry, small bickerings between you and your work partner dampening the sweet mood leftover from Nevarro. Apologizing with sex isn’t really your thing. You’d rather stoke the mutual respect between you as allies instead of start up a pattern of fighting then making up.
You crouch at the water's edge, peering into the depths for a moment before splashing your face with cold water, fresh scar throbbing as blood rushes to the surface of your face. The spare tunic you grabbed just brushes the surface of the water, sending ripples throughout your reflection. Curious, you lean over and observe the way the mirror-like pond breaks off into fragments, bits of you here and there mixing in with the moons that lay on russet sky.
Like a painting. You think in awe, having only seen a couple of the artifacts in person. The richest target you were assigned to owned two pieces of art, real paintings on real paper, encased in transparisteel viewing cases before you smashed open the backing to wonder at them. You close your eyes and try to recall the texture of the paint before the rest of your memory catches up and sours the whole thing. The man's home had to be burned in order to erase evidence, his paintings too large to smuggle out of the city.
When you open your eyes the pond has settled with your reflection only- you’re not alone.
“Maker!” You jump at the sight of the Mandalorians gleaming helmet appearing in the reflection. “What the fuck, you sneak.”
He just chuckles in response and offers you a hand, which you take firmly while rolling your eyes and standing. He leads you back to sit with him on the sandy earth, taking ration bars out of his pack- not yours, and breaking them evenly between you. The gesture is surprisingly tender and none too appreciated what with your stomach growling audibly at the bland meal. All at once, you are reminded by the spattering of caf-patches on your limbs, the jitteriness becoming more apparent now that you’re finally still. You’re shaking. Mando notices as well.
“You may explode.” He remarks, prompting you to start pulling off the stimulant, crumpling each piece and setting them neatly in a pile at your knee.
“Good, let me explode. You’re too bossy to work with.” You return with a smirk, hoping your sarcasm lands. He hums in response, pulling one of the patches off of your forearm and flicking it in your direction for you to catch.
Tutting, you roll the patch into a ball and set it at the top of your pile. “Don’t leave a mess, this forest is ugly but at least it’s untouched,” you tell him firmly. Mando just nods.
The ration bars are hardly a delicacy but you shove them in your mouth all the same, appreciating the engineering behind them. They are so calorie rich that a piece the size of your palm can keep you going for hours. However, your body can’t seem to relax despite the food lining your belly- perhaps you actually overdid the caf. You should be tired right now. Staying awake for more than a day isn’t exactly the average schedule but your knee bounces uncontrollably in a frantic pattern, stirring up puffs of sand between you and the warrior.
“You need to tire.” Mando mutters, firmly placing a glove on your thigh and holding the limb down. “Stop that.”
“Sorry,” you reply, trying to freeze yourself and sit as still as he does. Mando always exists so sagely, like a monk. Completely calm when he wants to be before exploding into action, no warm-up necessary. You wonder if he had some sort of meditation training to achieve that. Is that why he sits like that in the cockpit, his back rod straight like a statue? Weirdo.
“Hey…” The palm at your thigh presses again and you suck in a sharp breath. You didn’t even realize you were twitching again. “Do I have to hold you down?” He growls.
You gulp. “Tempting. But no.” Your words come out steadier than you feel. The caf becomes all too much in that moment so you lurch to your feet, his gleaming helmet following your body as it rises jerkily. You feel far too energetic, needing to get the energy out somehow so you can finally pass out. Your idea leaves your mouth before you can truly think it over.
“Wanna fight?”
“...What?” Mando sounds truly surprised even if his body betrays nothing.
“You heard me,” you’re bouncing on the balls of your feet, swaying back and forth like a green sailor on the oceans of Mon Cala. “Let's practice our combat, I rarely get to do that.”
He’s standing before you can blink causing you to jerk back, startled by his speed. The Mandalorian poses right in front of you, too close to not be a challenge with his weight settled on one leg breezily.
“Okay. Hit me.”
What a taunting mother fu- You swing your left hand out as if aiming for the unarmored spot on his ribs, which he blocks with ease… leaving his throat open for your right fist to sharply jab.
The bounty hunter doubles over, coughing and clutching his neck with one hand.
“O-Oh shit! I’m sorry, I- I didn’t mean, let me-” You scramble with lost movements, trying and failing to help him straighten upright. It leaves you awkwardly placing your palms on his back while the crown of his helmet presses into your belly. “I, um… Mando?”
His arms wrap around your middle in a flash, pulling you tightly against his chest and throwing both your bodies to the ground. It happens so fast that you can’t even shriek before the air is knocked out of you, hitting the sand hard enough to throw it into the air around you. Gasping, you smack full force at the Mandalorian on top of you, his arms still crushing you against him while your legs lock straight together with his knees on either side. It’s sexy, but you’d really like to breathe. He lets up just barely.
“Nice punch,” he rasps, throat clearly affected by the hit. “Don’t think I’ll hold back after that though.”
“Don’t… want… you to…” You shoot back at him, sharp as you can manage while wheezing. Mandos visor raises ever so slowly and pins you, hidden eyes holding you down more effectively than his body. After a drawn out moment of this, your head spinning as you calculate your escape strategy, he crawls up your body to prop himself above you, locking your wrists in one large hand with the other presses against your chest, shoving your back into the earth. It is just enough pressure to squeeze some air out of your lungs and it is then when you know he isn’t kidding about not holding back.
You’re so fucking happy that he isn’t letting you win.
In other instances, you’d panic at the hopeless feeling of being trapped like this, by someone twice your size and clad in the galaxy’s most powerful steel. But the way he spars with you now, full force and not playing easy... it has implied respect for your skill. He knows you can fight and doesn’t spare you the opportunity to prove it.
Only a second or two has passed since he fully immobilized you and you’re still locked in your flattened position. When he motions to stand, pulling your wrists as if to drag you, you know you must make your move now or it will be too late. The only spot he has open on his body right now is… well, right between his legs. The first thing a smaller fighter learns about combating larger foes is to fight dirty and there is no reason you should hold back if Mando isn’t. Your legs had been pinned tightly together before he moved to drag you but now there is just enough room to swing a knee up and hit him between the legs.
Mando doesn’t wear a full codpiece but luckily for you, the padding on his groin isn’t enough to block your kick. A choked sound rips out of his throat and he falls to one knee, the fingers encircling your wrists loosening slightly while he struggles to fight his body’s natural pain response. You wrench one hand free and use it to grip his cowled neckline, planting your feet against his cuirass and swinging yourself into a hanging position before his grip tightens again. He's steady but you try to dig your feet in to throw him forward, hoping to twist around and land on his back with his face down. He totters for one frozen second, both your bodies on the precipice of falling but unfortunately, he manages to wrench himself backwards and land heavily on his back with you on top.
You’re both gasping and groaning at the shock of hitting the ground so hard, and for one breathless moment all you do is stare heatedly at each other on the forest floor, eyes locking through his visor and somehow you know he is grinning.
His smile mirrors on your face when you feel his hands rip at your clothes, wrenching the thin pants off of you down to your thighs forcefully enough to knock your legs together with a dull thud.
“Did I not just kick you in the dick, Mando?” You laugh, working at his belt at the same time. He palms your ass through your underwear greedily, squeezing so hard that you know finger shaped bruises will blossom there.
“You missed.”
“Must’ve hurt either way…” You mutter, finally managing to reach under his thick layers and wrap your hand around his length, producing a low growl from the man beneath you. “Maybe, it's good I missed.”
The only response you get is his hands pulling both your hands to lay on his chest plate then traveling back down your body to tug aside your underwear and grind you down onto his hips, rubbing your now bare slit against his bulge. You vaguely remember deciding against coming onto him as a form of apology, but for some reason, since he started first that all ceases to matter. It feels like a game you’ve begun to play with each other, playing with the tension between you and the Mandalorian until you find out what breaks your resolve. Maybe it started even before you entered this forest, perhaps back on Nevarro or even on the station.
You can’t tell but you don’t want to question it either.
A moan falls from your throat, your hands moving on their own volition to try and remove his belt entirely, or at least enough to pull his cock out. Mando’s glove flashes up again to circle your wrists, immobilizing them and harshly pinning you down with his vambrace lain across your back.
“You yield?” He asks, voice dripping with a sickly triumph. A chill runs down your back and you feel as if he just dunked you into the pond.
“W-What?”
“You yield… I win?”
“Wha- No!” You cry out indignantly, struggling against his iron grip. “I didn’t realize we were still sparring!”
He laughs, fully bodied and dark with some emotion that swirls deep within your core, and you can’t put your finger on it exactly but you know you’ll have to do something before you’re swept up entirely. “Oh, but we are. What shall the winner gain?” He asks, so quietly that it is almost lost in the warped modulator, barely a question and more so a crackling of static.
Fuck, you’re so wet.
You lick your lips and shakily respond. “I am not one to give up, however-”
“Then don’t. Keep fighting.”
Oh, and you love what he implies. There is no reason to argue further and less time to act, so you immediately struggle hard with the upper half of your body, wrenching your wrists to try and distract him from the way your legs are free to swing into his ribs. But Mando doesn’t fall for your feint a second time. In fact, he seems to have expected it, his leg is more than prepared to hook around the back of your knees and hold you against his body, rolling to the side to throw you underneath him.
You’re pinned on your back with nearly his full weight, unable to do more than weakly punch at what you can reach- unfortunately for you all you can reach is armor. Your cry of anger is cut short when Mando flips onto your front, your chest pressed roughly to the floor of the forest.
The helmet appears over your shoulder, his ragged breathing right by your ear. “T-This okay? You want this?” You can’t find your words to respond with the way you're held so tightly against the earth, so you nod as best you can with one cheek pressed into the ground. Mando snarls something furiously, one hand leaving your back to fumble with his pants and pull his cock out, lining himself up at your soaking entrance and running the head through your folds.
His helmet drops back down to your shoulder, the visor turning and burying itself into the line of your neck and you know that if he weren’t bound by his creed then he would be kissing dark bruises there.
“You know this means I win,” he hisses, pressing his cock to breach your tight opening ever so slightly.
“I-I know.” You whimper weakly.
With that, he fully pushes himself into you and if you weren’t so wet you know his size would be unbearably painful. Instead, the stretch is pure bliss, a slow burning sensation that has a hint of sting to it, his dominance lending to complete submission and all you can do is lay there and take it. There is still the strain you grew to know from when he allowed you to use his body on Nevarro, but something about Mando topping you encourages you to open yourself for him with more ease.
He quickly bottoms out then holds himself till, allowing you to adjust to his size. You’re writhing as much as possible under the way he crushes you to the floor, knees carving grooves in the soft sandy earth.
“Fuck,” Mando grits, teeth clenched together so hard that you swear you can hear the grinding in his jaw. “You’re so fucking tight, fuck.”
The position is hard to maintain on the soft ground, his hands keep sliding ever so slightly on either side of you forcing him to adjust every few seconds. His patience breaks after the third time this happens, a growl crackling through the helmet as he settles his hands on your lower back and hoists his body up, knees planted on either side of your thighs, crushing them together with intense pressure on your clit. Your body is locked tight, pussy clenching harder around his cock when he rises into an upright position.
You let out a genuine scream when he draws back then thrusts sharply into you, pain mixing with pleasure in a manner far more biting than on his ship, when he had let you take control entirely, never even doing so much as to thrust into you. It is almost too much for you but even while you struggle to take his cock, you don’t dare tell him to stop, nor do you want him to stop. You’re so blinded by the stretch that you don’t realize he is speaking until you miss several, distorted words.
“Fuck, why did I wait, why did I wait? I should’ve fuck-fucked you back on the station, approached you in that hangar and made myself fucking clear-” Each gritted word is accentuated by a mean thrust, his dick is so big that he has to shove himself inside of you rather than glide, breaking you open in a way that burns so sweetly. Your legs are held together, knees locked and straight, which doesn’t help how tight you are but you can’t budge at all to open yourself to Mando, his hands pressing down at your lower back so heavily that you’re short of breath.
A garbled moan is forced out of you when Mando grinds his length into your pussy as deep as he can possibly reach, hips smashing against your ass while he pulses inside of you and for a second you think he's cumming. But no- he draws himself from your depths and starts to rut his cock between your cheeks, head resting on your upper back and hands by your head.
A powerful hand wraps under your side and settles at your sternum, pulling you back against his cuirass and lifting so that you end up seated together, fitting against him without even an inch of space between your bodies. His hand lifts your hips, other appendage snaking around to position his cock back at your entrance before allowing gravity to do the work, your legs spreading to rest on either side of his thighs as you sink down on him to the hilt.
Once settled, Mando starts to work you on his cock, lifting you like you weigh no more than a pebble then letting go. The head of his cock slams full force into your pussy with the weight of your entire body, each brutal pounding sending sparks of pleasure up your spine. Lungs free and no longer crushed to the floor, you’re unable to stay quiet, broken sobs and moans puffing from gritted teeth as he takes what he denied himself on his ship, the memory a thousand miles away as your processing center is fucked stupid.
You can’t say how long this goes on for, maybe minutes, maybe hours, but the next thing you know is that your cheek is back on the sand, burning from the way it chaffs against the floor with each rhythmic thrust that claps against your thighs. You’re don’t even know if you’ve cum yet but it doesn’t matter, not with the way he is fucking the life out of you here in the wilderness. Mando is still talking, still uttering filth and praise through the helmet and all you can think about is how badly you want to hear his real voice speaking that way to you, you’re so close to asking him to take it off but you can’t find the words, you can’t think, you can’t-
Abruptly, he grinds to a halt at the deepest point in your body then pulls himself free, pushing your shirt up lighting fast before cumming across your back with a choked exclamation. You’re both still for a second before your knees collapse, landing flat on your belly and gasping desperately. There is a shuffling noise behind you, accompanied with heavy breaths from the bounty hunter. It sounds like he’s rummaging through something then, yeah- your train of thought is confirmed when a wet cloth wipes his pleasure from your skin, gently trailing along your spine and ass.
You reach behind you and hold his wrist, feeling the fluttering pulse there. “I’ll win next time…” You whisper, drawing his hand along the soreness on your bottom, the area he bruised, you suspect. He laughs- or pants you can’t really tell, but either way his touch becomes more gentle on your body, smoothing out the tense muscles and cleaning you up. Today's travels with the man have suddenly caught up to you and you might pass out right here, half clothed and dirty.
“Come on, get up. Don’t sleep here.” Mando firmly states, helping you up and guiding you across the clearing after you pull your leggings up from where they gathered at your ankle. You’re trembling like a leaf, fragile in your spent state but glowing all the same. Mando sets you down on a log and brings you a canteen of water which you gulp down thankfully. He chuckles. “Wait up or I’ll have to drink from the spring.”
That gives you pause, reminding you of something he said while you lay beneath him. You’re slightly nervous to ask but you do it anyway, warm and satisfied on your perch while he cares for you. “You.. When you were, um- fucking me. Well, you said something about how you shouldn’t have waited. Does that mean what I think it means?”
He nods, “I noticed you for other reasons too, burc’ya.”
“Maybe you should’ve fucked me back then.” Taking another gulp then handing the canteen back, you stretch then slide down to sit on the ground with him, back against the log. “You said that word before, ber-borshaw?”
“Burc’ya.”He corrects,“It means friend in Mando’a.”
“Oh.”You cheeks heat, feeling silly and rude for not recognizing the use of his people’s tongue, also noting that he used it to refer to you twice now, endearingly. It is an honor, one that makes you nervous. You feel like you should apologize, somehow. “Y-You speak Mando’a? I’ve never heard you use it before.”
Mando settles against the log, leaning his broad shoulders to rest against the wood near your side. A few moments pass before he responds, “I chose to not use it around the others. Didn’t trust them.”
“Oh, so you trust me?” You giggle, tapping the side of his helmet with your elbow. Questions burn within you and you may as well ask now, in the quiet afterglow of sex where everything is warm and slow. “Why didn’t you trust them if you started the company with Ran? How am I any different?”
“You aren’t ruthless,” he surprises you by answering immediately, and you can’t decide whether you're insulted or not before he continues. “Ruthless and cruel is all that group ended up being, and it didn’t start out that way. We weren’t just mercenaries, we had a code. In the early days, attacking a slave ship would’ve been out of the question. Ran wasn’t always so full of greed.”
Silence falls after he speaks, letting you mull over his explanation for a while while the waterfall rumbles in the background. Really, his perspective confuses you when you think back on your actions as a mercenary. Desperate to climb the ranks, to make a name for yourself, to earn credits and reputation. You suppose you conducted yourself with empathy, avoiding selection for hits that targeted innocent people if you could help it. You never had much choice in the area but it seems your actions spoke louder than realized. So much energy spent to avoid seeming weak and you never considered that your aversion doubled as strength.
“Friend…” You whisper, not of your own accord. The word floats on your tongue, a specter within your vocabulary. In your adulthood you’ve had allies, you’ve had teammates, you’ve had acquaintances, but to have a friend… it terrifies you as much as it warms your heart. You considered yourself partnered professionally with the Mandalorian and didn’t dare to consider yourself lovers, no matter how much you privately hoped. But a friend is a luxury you didn’t hold close, mainly out of fear. You lost too many as a child. For a faceless man he manages to strike areas that are quite intimate.
You decide that you’ll enjoy being his friend, a bit surprised that you aren’t too hurt by what is essentially a romantic rejection of the crush you held for so long. Probably because this is real , solid and built within reality instead of the silly fantasies you built prior.
This is better than lovers, you tell yourself, the slight ache in your heart melting into the background of your desires, behind lock and key for another world.
“I’ll take ‘friend’, Mando.” You grin, extending a hand to him cheekily. He stares for a second before taking it and shaking, helmet tilting in a respectful nod.
His next words send an unexpected pang throughout your chest, taking all the careful walls you worked hard to set up and throwing them into a blazing inferno.
“Let’s see where it goes.”
Fuck.
----------------
Leather boots prance lightly through thick branches high in the trees, footfalls landing silently with all the grace of an athlete. Through the delicate glasses perched on the pursuers nose, a red glow blooms on the shadowy floor of the swamp, two sets of footprints lighting up to reveal a steady path made by the travelers. A musical giggle bubbles out of the darkly dressed woman as she pulls a small holo-watch from her bag and straps it onto her wrist, pale light mixing with her lavender skin, transforming it into a sickly grey.
Xi’an claps a hand over her mouth to prevent her cackle from ringing through the trees as her plan takes form.
***
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#the mandalorian#the mandalorian fic#fanfic#star wars#the mandalorian x reader#mandalorian smut fanfic#smut fic#smut#din djarin#din djarin x you#din djarin x reader#the mandalorian x you#mandalorian/reader#din djarin/reader#self insert#self insert fic#reader insert#reader insert fic#star wars self insert#the mandalorian imagine#star wars imagine
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iron crush
pairing: tony stark x reader
word count: 1952
summary: you’re a college student as well as roommates/best friends with peter parker, but you’ve developed a bit of a crush on his world famous, superhero mentor tony stark.
themes: age gap, smut
taglist: @evanstush, @tanyam93, @bval-1, @wonderwinchester, @patzammit, @rohaintahquil, @deidrashouseofpain, @sammyslonglostshoe, @jadedhillon, @bohemian-barbie, @whysparker, @sebastian-i-stan, @sebabestianstan101, @lille-kattunge, @teller258316, @peach-acid, @allsortsofinterests, @xoxabs88xox, @heyiamthatbitch, @cptn-sgrogers, @heyyouwiththeassbutt, @bangtan-serendipity, @troublermalik, @beardburnsupersoldiers, @bookish-shristi, @kind-sober-fullydressed, @gingerninjaprincess16, @straightforwardly, @denisemarieangelina, @frencchfries, @xlanawriter, @littlemoistcarrot, @pottxrwolff, @arianatheangelworld, @southerngracela, @nsfwsebbie, @rororo06, @savemesteeb, @raveviolet, @hurricanerinwrites, @captainamerica-is-bae, @shaddixlife, @tessa-bl, @marvelouspottering, @pppsssyyyccchhhiiiccc, @thegetawaywriter, @dwights-new-plague, @rynabarnesrogers, @fckdeusername, @doloreschanal, @ssworldofsw, @la-cey, @buckybarnesplumwhore, @hevans-angel, @chuckbass-love, @stardust-galaxies, @smyfmj
notes: in this story, peter and reader are 18! I know the opening scene is literally from civil war where peter is a minor in high school but shhh just pretend :))) also sorry if you’re tagged and don’t care for tony, i haven’t really been separating my permanent taglist and my cevans only taglist because it’s a lot of work gjfjdjg so just ignore if you don’t want to read, no worries! also as always, graphic creds go to @thewritingdoll !
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You first met him that fateful day he was waiting for Peter in his apartment itself, casually chatting with Aunt May while pretending to enjoy her walnut date loaves. Being Peter’s childhood friend, you’ve known of his Spider-Man secret ever since he became the masked hero, and it hadn’t been difficult for you to figure out that Tony was there for Avengers related reasons. You remember the piercing eye contact you made, the way his brown eyes lingered over you in surprise and approval; you had felt flattered beyond belief that you were even noticed in such a way when you were in the same room as Peter’s abnormally attractive aunt.
Fast forward a few months later, and you, Peter, and your other friend Ned now have an apartment of your own. The three of you have always been inseparable; you see them as brothers and you can trust them to have your back, just like you and Ned have Peter’s whenever he’s called to save the neighborhood (and, lately, many areas outside of it).
You’re on your belly on your bed in a tank and shorts, taking notes while skimming through your psychology textbook when you hear a knock on the door. You roll your eyes- Ned always forgets his keys, which is why you tend to leave the door unlocked whenever it’s just you at home. It’s difficult to worry much about crime when you literally live with a world famous superhero. “It’s open!” you call, eyes still scanning the words on the pages before you. The door opens and you hear footsteps, louder and louder until they’ve come to your doorway. “Have you just, permanently lost your keys or something?” you ask in amusement, not even bothering to look up at your roommate.
“Didn’t get any to begin with, actually. Got a copy for me? Would be pretty helpful considering the kid never answers his goddamn phone.”
Your head immediately snaps up, your eyes widening slightly as you stare at the grown man at the entrance of your bedroom who is very clearly not Ned. “Tony!” you exclaim in surprise, moving to sit up on your knees as you gaze up at him somewhat embarrassed- and suddenly feeling much more naked. You’re comfortable with limited clothing around Peter and Ned, you’ve known them practically your whole life- but Tony is someone you’ve seen all over television, only met once… and have the slightest crush on. You’ve always loved a man with confidence, and while Tony has too much of it, you can’t help but find it appealing. You clear your throat, trying not to blush from his amused expression. “Uh, yeah, Peter’s not home right now… do you want me to text him? Maybe he’ll reply to me?”
“What? Reply to his cute best friend he drools over on a daily basis- over replying to me? No way.” Tony smirks slightly, his voice dripping with sarcasm, and you find yourself blushing deeper- though you arch an eyebrow, more than happy to confront what he’s just said. “Cute?” you repeat, and he shrugs nonchalantly, leaning against the doorframe as he takes your appearance in. “Yeah. Cute. What, haven’t heard it before? Because I highly doubt that.”
“Not from a man twice my age, no,” you tease, suddenly feeling a little more confidence as you sit up a little straighter, remaining on your knees, “and Peter does not drool over me. Trust me, our relationship is not like that. We’ve known each other for too long.” Tony keeps his eyes on you for a few moments before suddenly nodding towards your textbook. “Whatchya working on?” You blink, glancing towards your notes. “Psychology. It’s my major.”
“So how do you read me?” he asks, and you assume he’s being some type of smart ass- after all, whenever you tell someone your major is psychology they immediately bring out the “so you can read my mind” joke- but when you look up at his expression, he actually seems genuinely curious. “Lonely.” You reply candidly, eyebrow lifting slightly. “Bored, always running out of things to do so you focus way too much on work.”
“Uh, yeah, that’s because I save the world for a living. Kind of has to be on my mind 24/7, doesn’t it?”
“Yikes, getting a little defensive, hm, Tony?” you tease with a smirk, knowing he can handle it. “That’s never a good sign in counseling…”
“Oh, are you my counselor now?” he scoffs, but the corner of his lip is tugged slightly upward, clearly able to banter just as much as you. “Alright. I’ll bite.” He comes into your room and sits down at the edge of your bed right next to you, looking at you expectantly. “Tell me, O Mighty Therapist, what should I do to alleviate my pain?” he questions dramatically, and you laugh, reaching out to nudge him. “Maybe stop being a pain in the ass to other people? Let them in for once?”
He listens thoughtfully and you're expecting a snarky comment, but instead, he replies bluntly in a low murmur with a raised brow, “What if I want a certain someone to let me in?” It takes you a few moments to realize the innuendo, your blush immediately returning once you do. “Tony…”
He leans in, his eyes focused on yours. “I won’t tell anyone…” You stare up at his features, your breath slightly heavier. You feel a bit of guilt but the desperate want is overpowering it- come on, he’s Tony Stark, and he’s here in your bedroom asking you to fuck. Maybe it’s not for the best reasons, but you decide you don’t care. You grab his face and pull him down, kissing him fiercely in response.
Everything happens so fast. His lips move against yours in intense synchrony, his hands grabbing your waist to tackle you down onto your back on the bed before he reaches out to shove your textbook and notebook off the mattress entirely. You gasp but continue to kiss him, your legs naturally moving to wrap around his waist to keep his body pressed close against yours, already feeling turned on from the friction between you. Judging by the bulge currently pressing against your inner thigh, it’s safe to say he feels the same.
Neither of you even realize how absorbed in this kiss you are- you’re moving, practically rolling all over the place, until you roll off the bed itself. A squeal escapes your lips as both of you go tumbling onto the ground- thankfully carpeted- and you laugh breathlessly as you stare up at him, still underneath him. “Oops,” you whisper, but he just smirks and leans down to kiss you again, muttering huskily against your lips, “That’s alright, sweet cheeks, I can fuck you just as good on the floor too.” Your smile fades slightly, but only because of how aroused you’ve become just from hearing him. You’ve only ever slept with one guy before, and he was nowhere near as experienced or bold as Tony. You definitely needed this.
He notices your expression and smirks, staring down at you as he moves one hand down to rub his fingers against your shorts. “What’s up, Y/N? You like that idea? Me fucking you into the floor of your bedroom, with your door wide open?” Your lips open into a needy moan, though you completely forgot about the door situation. Fuck. You glance to it nervously, but he only applies more pressure to your clothed entrance, his eyes twinkling mischievously. “You’re adorable, sweetheart. Think of it as a little adrenaline rush, hm? You have to take some risks sometimes, right?” He slips his fingers into your shorts and panties, rubbing your clit directly as he breathes out, “That’s my therapeutic advice to you…”
“A-ah…! Tony!” you moan lewdly, arching your back and staring up at him with wide eyes. “Please… I need more…”
He gladly obliges, his smirk growing wider as he eyes you hungrily. His fingers pump you skillfully, sliding in and out of your entrance and stretching you out, his thumb simultaneously teasing your clit. You’re a breathless mess of whimpers and whines, your head rolling back and your eyes shutting from the pleasure. The boy you were with before definitely didn’t know how to use his fingers. Tony, on the other hand, moves at the perfect, steady pace, actually listening to you to understand what you like and what’s working. The way he slightly crooks his fingers and expertly maneuvers them in subtle but hard hitting gestures inside your tight entrance is slowly making you uncoil- when he feels you tighten around his digits, he grins triumphantly. “Go ahead,” he commands breathlessly, “cum all over my fingers so I can taste you already…”
You obey with a gasp, coating his fingers with your release- he withdraws them and places them in his mouth, looking at you with a hungry little smirk. “Delicious,” he growls, his devious eyes filled with lust.
“Take off your clothes,” you breathe out suddenly, and he blinks before chuckling, pulling back slightly and obediently starting to unbutton his shirt. “For the record, I’m the one in charge here, but I also wanted to strip anyways,” he tells you playfully and you laugh, taking your own tank off feeling thankful you didn’t wear a bra that day. That would have been way too much work- you need him now. He stares down at you amazed, biting on his lip. “Damn. Your body is something else.” You widen your eyes upon seeing his cock when he removes his pants, clucking your tongue as you mumble, “I could say the same about you…”
He smirks and presses his throbbing erection against your sensitive entrance, his breaths heavy from anticipation. “I’ve been thinking about this for a while, doll. Think I’m already addicted to you.”
He thrusts into you roughly at that moment, letting out a groan of pleasure as he pins you down against the floor. You cry out in happiness as you arch your back towards him, rocking your hips upwards against his and holding onto his back tightly. You don’t even care that you’re on a rug right now- comfort is the least of your concerns when he’s stretching you out so nicely, his brown eyes filled with hunger as he stares down at you in arousal. “You look so pretty underneath me, Y/N,” he murmurs huskily, grunting with eyebrows furrowed in concentration, his dick entering deeper and deeper inside you with each thrust. “And you feel… mm… better than words can even describe…”
“Tony…! Oh, God, Tony- mm…!” You’re at a loss for words; the sensation is overwhelming, pushing you over the edge, filling every crevice of your mind with euphoria and delight. Your body’s beginning to quiver, your walls tightening around his cock- he smirks weakly in satisfaction, knowing you’re close. “Fuck. I’m gonna cum deep inside you, beautiful, I want you to cum for me… God… damn…”
Just as promised, he releases inside you, the feeling adding to your pleasure- you gasp in delight as you cum, your head rolling back and your eyes wide as you stare up at the ceiling. He lays on top of you for a bit before slowly lifting himself off, looking down at you with his signature smirk.
Before he can say anything, though, a voice belonging to a certain web-slinging eighteen-year-old boy standing at the doorway with a wide open mouth screams:
“What the fuck?!”
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