#and it looks like I’m inactive
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#talks#rant#ugggh it’s so exhausting to talk to someone online#I love my moots and other artist#but just talking hurts and I just hate being online all the time#especially when I don’t have anything necessarily to say#also I forget that I can talk to people online so I just stopped#I promise I’m having a good time#I think I just get anxious talking when I don’t want to#and it looks like I’m inactive#that’s why I prefer talking over here#this type of text format helps me not to go crazy#cause I don’t want my thoughts to be on public display for anyone to see#so just imagine a weirdo just lurking in a shadowy corner in an alley way#just drawing while looking at art#I do wish I can talk to people here#but it’s just so hard unless I’m brainrotting atm#I hope my moots understand#I still see what we did and how fun that was#I’m sorz I’m not talkative#I just get r anxious when I talk to someone online now#there was a shift a few years ago#and I just struggle to be online now#I hope u enjoy my dummy post tho 💚#vent#not really but might as well add the vent
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just an fyi, and it feels like it needs to be said here: your blog is your own space and you should be able to say whatever the fuck you want. if you’re sad? vent. get sad. maybe put it under a cut, definitely tag it, but get sad. if you feel like you need someone to talk to? drop a freaking message about how you’re feeling like you could use a buddy, or anything randomly engaging. if you’re having a hard time, you should feel safe and okay to talk about it in your own space. we’re writers and we’re people and while there’s a lot to be said for how engagement outside of oneself is necessary in rp (and really really needs to improve), i think there’s a lot that must be said about people reaching out to others. it’s become so solitary here — the whole ‘reblog from source’ thing when it comes to shit like about and musings is absurd. the whole refusing to like things is ridiculous. yes, curate your space, that’s important, but curating your space into a studio apartment only you live in doesn’t make this a community anymore, it makes it a studio apartment you live in.
just be yourself here. do whatever you want. but i’m always saying: remember you’re not alone, and don’t let yourself feel that way.
#ooc. o kaptain.#[this is illogically worded and after an argument I’m already upset but I just felt like this has to be put here. it’s been sitting on my#brain for so long and it’s something i just wanted to discuss. the way the rpc has become not even an echo chamber just… a shitty ny#apartment only one person lives in that can fit your fridge and your bedroom in the same room. the way literal fandoms have divided each#other through nothing but massive senses of entitlement and so much gatekeepy fucking language. it’s exhausting to watch this happen#literally all because i have no idea where interaction went and yes I’ve been virtually inactive for months now but. it absolutely isn’t for#lack of trying to come back. it’s hugely due to a lack of interaction whenever I reach out and then the feeling like I’m being either#entertained or dismissed. this is a social space and we’re people and everybody just needs to recognize that. like. last week my introverted#broski started discussing how as he’s older he feels loneliness more tangibly but he hates people and i looked right at him and said …yeah#dude. that’s natural. we’re humans. we need each other to live. we need spaces we create and communities we make. but like. there need to be#interactive people in those spaces. we’re social creatures. i love you guys and this is a ramble but… it’s been on my mind awhile. and#frankly? feels kinda good to finally speak my mind.]
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Making an emo mournwatch death caller mage i’m soooo freaking hype for new dragon age 😭
#mournwatch b like Assigned Emo At Birth#she’ll prob change a lot before I’m done.. gotta think of coloring too now#think I’ll play her in origins while I wait even tho I JUST got cyberpunk LOL I’m sooo dragon age obsessed rn#I was so good abt not getting excited then the dam broke and I reallly cannot wait like can’t yall reward ur most loyal fans… give it to#me earlyyyyy#wip#don’t look at the hand VERYYY rough sketch besides face .. lol#sorry I been so inactive.. work nights now and. I get overwhelmed with things so easy like it’s baddd but I wanna be on hereeeee#lowkey I draw less since I tattooed for like 3 years I shouldn’t have picked and art job…. ptsd LOL#prob gonna smash Davrin I think his name is LOL the grey warden
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Behold one of the cutest things I’ve ever drawn
#finally think I figured out MacCready’s face and his cheekbones and stuff#look at him!!!#and I’m sorry Duncan was also so fun to draw I was like “how chubby can I make this baby’s face#and the answer was a lot#anyway ya I’m very happy with this#also sorry for being a little inactive my bday is on Wednesday and also I’ve been working on a new fic 👀#yes there will be MacCready and Duncan and backpack baby slings :)#real tags now#fallout 4#rj maccready#maccready#fallout#fanart#fallout 4 fanart#MacCready fanart#Duncan MacCready#art#digital art#sketch#serenade draws
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Slides this in-
Happy Mermay y’all, I’m back and drawing my sirens as an peace offering.
Somebody very happy to see you, while the other…. Needs some time.
#mermay#fnaf sun#fnaf moon#these are sirens not mermaids but you can call them just fishes haha#they look like mermaid yeah but they sing so- sirens#ahoy mateys au#omg it’s been a time uh?#I’m still in the fandom just been inactive#I hope y’all doing fine#wey draws
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Here *throws random and actually much more important than I realised at first OC redesign at you after two and a half years since the OG*
Meifeng, Ming-Hua’s cousin! I just randomly remembered that she exists while putting together my OC family tree and since the only art I have of her is… nearly 3 years old and mediocre at best, and Kat and I have recently spent so much time focusing on Red Lotus siblings, I thought “Hey, why not redraw her? Just because she’s a cousin and not a sister doesn’t make her any less special than Lien-Hua, Summiya, Aiza or Haya!” (On that note… Nia give someone a brother challenge. The only one that counts is Aiza and she’s only a brother half the time)
Some headcanons about her, both new and old (the old copy-pasted over and slightly edited to save everyone the second hand embarrassment of going to look at my old art), which will go under the cut because this has gotten LONG:
Old:
Older than Ming-Hua by around 10 years
Her dad is the older half-brother of Ming-Hua's mom who’s… not the most fond of their side of the family
Has never left her home in the Foggy Swamp Water Tribe
Master healer, specialises in children. Can't have any of her own because of the high pollution levels in the swamp which is why she puts all those motherly instincts into teaching and caring for kids
Got a scar on her leg while saving Ming-Hua from some wild swamp creature when the latter was a child who was absolutely convinced she could handle everything herself and never listened to anyone. Ming-Hua still insists she had everything under control that day
She tried to understand Ming-Hua's perspective on things, she really did, but ultimately tribe mentality and fear for her cousin’s safety, believing her not to be nearly as capable as she claims to be, won over
Attempted to stop Ming-Hua from running away but was, obviously, unsuccessful
Was the one consoling Nuying after Ming-Hua left
Helped Suiren learn waterbending and held genuine affection for the girl, although she ultimately refused when Suiren begged for the chance for her and Midori to escape from Haya and live with the tribe. She thought that while Suiren would most likely adjust well, Midori was simply too Gaoling to survive in a place as dark, damp and isolated as the Swamp. She regrets that decision every day since she found out Suiren became an assassin
Mourned Ming-Hua more than anyone else in the tribe when informed of her death
New:
Was the one who babysat Ming-Hua a lot when Nuying was going through one of her depressive episodes after Cadeo left, and Ming-Hua actually enjoyed spending time with her because she was a lot less overbearing and protective than her mother. Was the first person to start calling her Ming. Sometimes Ming-Ming, but Ming-Hua had a tendency to deliver a very hard kick to the shins every time she tried that
Never left Nuying’s side when she got sick in the years following Ming-Hua’s disappearance, no matter how much everyone, including her own father, told her to stay away, there’s nothing she can do to help her. In her final moments, Nuying was delirious with fever and called out for Ming-Hua. Meifeng didn’t have the heart to remind her that her daughter left so instead let her hair down, covered her own hand in water and told Nuying that she was “right here, mom. I’m right here” and stayed like that until Nuying passed
When Ming-Hua returned, Meifeng was the one to break the news to her. Later, when Ming-Hua asked how and when it happened, she couldn’t quite stop herself from snapping at her because she should have been there, Meifeng shouldn’t have had to pretend to be her so her mother could die without worrying about where her daughter was. Their relationship never really fully recovered after that fight
Still, she had met Suiren when she was little on the rare occasions when the Red Lotus passed through the Swamp and Ming-Hua chose to take her daughter to visit the tribe. She never met Midori, but she did see Ming-Hua pregnant with her once
Didn’t know about Ming-Hua’s imprisonment until an 11-year-old Suiren told her because world news don’t reach into the heart of the Swamp. She just thought they had decided to stop visiting. The news crushed her but… a part of her couldn’t help but go “you should have fucking listened to me when I told you to stay, then this wouldn’t have happened”
Her teaching Suiren waterbending involved mostly the basics of combat (she herself doesn’t know much of it since she’s a healer), plantbending and healing. Suiren reached her level of mastery and proficiency as well as figured out icebending on her own through sheer determination and spite (she’s so much like her mama 🥹🥹🥹)
Is the only one from the tribe Suiren had ever confessed to about being an assassin. That knowledge broke her heart and she spent all those years absolutely terrified that Suiren would meet Ming-Hua’s fate. When Suiren stopped visiting at one point (when she left for her mission to kill Kuvira, got injured, recovered at ATI, reunited with her parents, broke Kuvira out and started living with her, etc etc) she had assumed that it really did happen, until Suiren randomly showed up one day with Kuvira in tow (Meifeng did not approve bc of the whole spirit vine thing 😅)
Absolutely reunited with Ming-Hua at some point and it was an extremely emotional moment
Ripped Cadeo a new one when he suddenly appeared looking for his daughter after 45+ years after it became common knowledge that the RL are all alive and no longer wanted by the law
All in all… quite an interesting character that I really should do something with at some point, bc how come Ming-Hua’s family is the only one to get 0 attention in our discussions?? #justiceformeifeng2024
#my art#artists on tumblr#the legend of korra#original character#seeds of the red lotus#sotrl meifeng#she doesn’t actually appear in any of my works. let alone sotrl. but she exists in that verse#and it’s the verse in which she plays the most major role so… that’s what her tag is now#anyway#it doesn’t seem that way but she really is a very emotionally conflicting character for me#because she was in the position to get Suiren and Midori away from Haya only four years after they were left with her#which would have left them with 75% less trauma#but she didn’t. coming up with quite a bullshit excuse#yes Midori would have missed the sun and everything but the swamp is still miles better than Haya#meifeng must have seen his skittish Suiren is. how skinny. how bruised#and yet she did nothing. yet another adult whose inaction led to tragedy#ugh. imagine a UtOS-style au where she does take them in and while the biggest obstacle is the trauma#Midori does have an insanely hard time adjusting#she’d probably spend most of her time by the giant tree because the sun gets through there#and maybe one day.. she’d run into one cranky old earthbender#who takes her up as a protege for old times’ sake#(and later hooks her up with her granddaughter– WHO SAID THAT??)#and Suiren would grow up to be a swamp warrior who decides to go after Kuvira when she harvests the spirit vines#I’m a fucking genius#Kat if you’re reading this. look at what fun new branch of the multiverse my brain just spat out!! come yell about it with me!!!#but okay. that is currently besides the point. back to meifeng#you know…#‘oh my art has really stagnated I feel like I haven’t improved in years’#BITCH THIS YOU?? look at the OG version and look at this and TELL ME you haven’t improved#my self hatred may be intense but even I can admit that I’ve gotten much better at drawing. in the character design department at least
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it is quite a special mood board monday. since i have run out of mood boards to make, i decided to make one for the first few chapters of carrick bend by @pain-somnia aka my favorite odesta fic rn. tbh kinda nervous for this one since i couldn’t go off vibes alone but i guess i’m officially starting a chain of odesta fic recs now. here is the first one
#i’m sorry i rlly went “i love how this fic is odesta pov alternating 😁😁” and then only included pics that relate to annie#i had annie and johanna pics too but it was too vibes based#anyway still had fun making this#wait also side note usually when i make mood boards for my fics i can’t find pics that match my version of annie#i had the opposite problem here i was okayyy and where were these pics last mood board monday#hope u like it this is making me so shy#edit: sorry just looked at their tumblr and it looks like they’re inactive don’t know if that makes me more or less shy rn#mood board monday#odesta#fic rec#eek
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no bc… what if I was getting into haikyuu again (I got a friend to watch it and they keep texting me every ep they watch and it’s making me want to rewatch it)
#sofia rambles#bc AHHHH I never rlly left the hq fandom. it was always in the background#like it’s still all over my twt and tiktok feeds just much les frequent.#ik like all of my moots are inactive is the hq fandom here still going??? 😭😭#ANYWAYS. I’m omw to work so I’ll have a look through things on here properly later xx#GOTTA WORK. GOTTA MAKE THAT MONEY MAKE PURSE (I need to pay for my uni accom)
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Cursed to realize I’m not following people that interact with me a lot </3
#random post#I keep realizing I’m not following people. and then I get embarrassed about it and worry it’ll look weird#if I suddenly follow them 😭 anyways I’m trying not to be a wuss gevehwhwhwhe </3 the follow button won’t make me explode#I think the reason I didn’t follow some people is that I literally like. COULD NOT follow any more blogs#I found that the max number of ppl you can follow is 5000. and I have reached that a couple different times 😭#so when I remember to I go through and unfollow inactive accounts or ones that don’t interest me anymore#so I can follow friends and art accounts <3#anyways I started rambling lol sorry
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last day of work tomorrow maybe I’ll start feeling like a person again
#apologies for being inactive and also liking w/o reblogging stuff#I’ve been very tired and meaning to look back at my likes cuz I always wanna say something if I rb but I’m too sleepy all the time rn
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doing the world a big blessing tonight (drawing edgar jomfrou)
#NOBODY DRAWS HIM IT MAKES ME SAD#ugh the drawing is supposed to be for selfshiptember @ the friends prompt BUT I WANNA POST IT IMMEDIATELY WHEN I FINSIH AGGHHHHH#ALSO I’m so sorry I’ve been inactive today guys we had a yard sale#then I was doing Commision work SO I HAVEMT HAD TIME TO LOOK TODAY BUT#I HAVE LIKES IM GONNA RB IN A BIT :)#bizarre.ramblez
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Damnnn, just hit 300 followers!!! I’m so happy 🥹🥹🥹 thanks to everyone who is following me!! I’ll have to do a sim dump just for the occasion :ppp 💖💖💖
#I been really inactive cause I been everywhere but my home:(( I haven’t be able to play#so I’m glad my blog is not dying for that reason lol#I’m gonna stay more active now and uploading some sims and stuff:-)))#also I’m still figuring out how to use pics with reshade and my new windows lol#the quality of my pics still looking like shit lol 😭😭#fw
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normalize going off about misogyny in a fandom and doing so in a discord server that isn’t even for that fandom
#im in too many servers but i still want to join a wenclair server#i’ve searched and they’re all either inactive or i don’t feel the vibes 😔😔#and no this wasn’t about st#honestly probably a good thing the server wasn’t for that fandom#i’m scared to join a server for that fandom bc of how much hate one of my faves gets#like literally the majority of the fandom hates her and yeah they have valid reasons but also… would you hate her if she was a man?#did you guys miss me rambling in the tags or did no one ever look at that 💀💀
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Got a new copy of Tomodachi Life today and Will has the same personality as Will.
#he shot up into space when I gave him pancakes (the animation for when your mii finds their ultimate favourite food)#I’m also painstakingly waiting for Nancy and Jonathan to get together#they are currently friends atm but I want them to be more#looks like my luck from five years ago did not show up because before I had a confession of love and a wedding in the same day#I might make more posts about my island in the future (especially the update on jancy because my brainrot for them is real)#this game was the entire reason for me being inactive for most of the day#stranger things#will byers#tomodachi life
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i am genuinly about 99% sure that will never be happier than i was during my time in the german warrior cats fandom on wattpad
#so from 2018 to 2020#damn that was long ago... :')#like yes i had some external struggles. part of a really big one started in 2019 but still#we were young and wild and free#and we were happy. oh so happy#i really miss it sometimes adgjgsghf#miss my former internet friends#especially the ones i never got to say goodbye to because they just suddenly went inactive#it’s bittersweet to look back and i’m sad that it ended but i’ve recently managed to accept that certain good things won’t last#but you can still appreciate that they were a part of you#sometimes you meet people and stay in touch for a lifetime. and sometimes it’s half a year. and that’s okay#yk that one poem abt friendship that goes smth like ‘you left but there will always be an open door for you’? yeah. that#☆—`elys rambles
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I don’t know why this is happening to my body now but the week I’m supposed to get my period i instead bloat up like I’m 3 months pregnant for 7 days, never get my period, and then the following week I shit my brains out and STILL don’t get my period for like another week
I don’t know what’s happening and I don’t like it and I REALLY don’t like feeling pregnant
#not me popping on after being inactive for 2 weeks to talk about my period and shits like okay#sorry to be gross#sorry to be MIA#listen life is wild and I can’t bear to pretend I’m a skinny goddess when I literally look pregnant#I’m hoping I deflate soon#like a sad little forgotten abandoned balloon
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