#and it is very much a passion for me but I also wonder if some of that comes from the existential dread abt it I've had since I was 9

[horseimagebarn]

Imo i feel some ppl read "hey science can make mistakes and is continuously changing n evolving, at the end of the day our perspective as humans is limited, we should accept this n respect nature and it's wonders" and take it as "HUMAN KNOWLEDGE N SCIENCE IS STUPID LETS ALL GO ALONG BY VIBES" which is a huge shame. Glad you're wise abt science and nature horseimagebarn

i believe this ask is in response to my post in defense of equid taxonomy for context

yes i feel of all current existing sciences the ones that deserve our utmost respect are the ones attempting to document learn about preserve and or understand our planet and both its living and nonliving inhabitants

a bit of skepticism is always healthy because science is a human field and humans make mistakes but humans are also very dedicated and intelligent and passionate and so many people far smarter than me have put their whole lives into the study of earth in some way and it is just not right to assume that genuine scientific work and progress is wrong based on the most simple of misconceptions that could be solved with less than an hour of research

discrediting science does not lead to improvement it leads to willful ignorance while engaging in a genuine thoughtful way with science accepting it is human and imperfect while also remaining in good faith of its intentions and the intelligence of professionals while also viewing its evidence and findings leads to healthy conversations and the continuous building upon of knowledge we should strive to improve science if we feel it incorrect not discredit it based off of little evidence with no improvements offered

especially stuff like taxonomy why would people categorize life for no reason but vibes and call it science taxonomy is a genuine and important and interesting study that has a lot go into it

we should respect science without it we lose much of our intellectual relationship with our beautiful planet and threaten ourselves with pointless ignorance

[greenesmyfavcolor]

Just popping in to say that I love your blog so much and that I always find myself scrolling through it when I catch a bad case of Little Shop brainworms <33 thank you for truly being the backbone of this Tumblr community ^^ Also!! Do you have any aspect of LSOH (either film or stage show :)) you LOVE a ton but don't see enough people talk about or praise?? Or just an underrated aspect of it in general?? Hope that question makes sense lol and I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day/night :D

Aw thank you so much! Means a lot to know that I'm contributing something worthwhile to this small but passionate fandom on here!

Anyhoo, that’s a good question. Just about everyone I've seen has covered everything about Little Shop down to the nitty gritty details and I absolutely love that. However, if there’s one thing I think deserves more love and tends to get overlooked, it's Lee Wilkof, who originated the role of Seymour on stage.

He tends to get thrown under the bus a lot by some people and I have absolutely no idea why. I've heard people criticizing him saying that he was too old for the role at the time, but he was only 31 when the show first opened and is actually slightly younger than Ellen Greene but no one seems to be saying that she was too old for her role. That, or either he doesn’t look the part, which I don’t understand how he couldn’t look like Seymour when he was the first guy to play Seymour on stage. If it's about him balding prematurely at the time, who cares? Seymour's not supposed to be this conventionally attractive guy anyway so why should there be a set standard for how he should look? Those complaints are just a bit silly to me.

Besides that, he also gets completely upstaged by Ellen (which is understandable 😂) so most people tend to remember her more when it comes to the original off-Broadway production. I mean, she even got top billing over Lee who was the lead which is kind of insane when you think about it (but again, iconic for her).

And then later, he got even more overshadowed by Rick Moranis, which I also get. He played Seymour in the movie which was most people's first introduction to the character so I understand that there's going to be some sort of bias present.

Basically, everything was not in his favor which sucks cause I really love him as Seymour. He added a lot of grit to the role, which I typically don’t see a lot of Seymours doing. Most people play him very passive or overly timid, which is fine, but Seymour's a very morally grey character that isn't all good or all bad. He's cute and insecure, yes, but he also indirectly murders people and feeds them to a plant lol. There's gotta be a balance and Lee gets that. He really nails all the anger, guilt, distress, etc. that Seymour goes through throughout the show. The Meek Shall Inherit and Death of Seymour in particular are when he really gets a chance to pop off. And he's of course able to be sweet and sincere when needed such as during Suddenly Seymour or basically anytime he interacts with Audrey. His singing is also amazing! I primarily listen to 1982 cast album just for him (and Ellen I won't lie haha). I especially love his vibrato and how hard he goes in some of the songs like Feed Me and Now It's Just The Gas. And he has great chemistry with Ellen! What's not to love?

I also appreciate how he’s still very much involved in Little Shop whether it’s doing an interview, like recently with Little Shop of Audrey, or showing up for Little Shop related events, like the 2015 Encores opening night afterparty. Not a lot of actors do that especially so long after their show has ended so I can tell the role and Little Shop as a whole has meant a lot to him. I mean, he met his future wife while working on the show so you can’t say it doesn’t mean something to him lol.

While I have said in the past that Rick is my favorite Seymour, Lee is for sure a close second. He played an essential part in making Little Shop what it is today by laying out the foundation for Seymour which is very respectable.

So yeah, give him some more love! He's great!

And thanks for the ask! Have a wonderful rest of your day/night too <3

[starpros-sunshine]

Eichi gives away the mask so easily because it was never meant to be an "engagement ring" like you delulu wataeis imagined it to be lmao. It was wataru saying that he will continue playing tsumugi clown role in fine and won't leave it for hokuto's mother troupe after graduation. Do you dumb fucks even read the stories? Eichi didn't even understand tf that mask meant when wataru gave it to him and wataru referenced fucking tsumugi in his "proporsal". I dunno why the f you think it's ok to lie about "! EnDiNG wItH wAtAeI EnGaGeMEnT" when the chapter it happened wasn't even close to the end of ep:link. Cope

PS: how do you live with the fact that Eichi clearly admitted to never being in love in his life and Wataru said that even though Eichi likes him, he still can easily discard him for the sake of his objectives?

I love you anon thank you for giving me a nice reason to ramble again beautiful ask 10/10 I'm sorry this is probably not how you hoped this would go but this is such a funny block of text delightful really thank you for the enrichment please marry me

But okay yes now to get down to the actual ask just to disclaim I am solely relying on translations seeing as I do not speak japanese well enough to understant the original text so if anyone has anything to add to this or to correct me on please feel free to do so.

Now to get started I'm not sure if one could say Eichi gave away the mask "So easily" seeing as he claimed that it was "a hard choice to make"? Which, as one might know, implies unease with an idea and pondering and debating and a general amount of thinking behind a decision so? I know this isn't really the main focus of this ask but I'm just a tad miffed with the semantics of it is all. And in either case giving the mask back to Wataru while expecting it back still shows a certain degree of trust in their relationship it wouldn't have been such a big deal for him (as it apparently was) if the mask didn't have a lot of sentimental value to him (the both of them really if we look at the whole exchange).

Now to the claim that the mask was "only" Watarus promise to stay with fine and "continue playing Tsumugis clown role". This is not entirely incorrect. Regarding the acting troupe and staying with fine bit at least.

I'm assuming this bit in EP:Link Deadend/7 is what you are referencing, and I see where you're coming from. But the bluebird line

from literally three dialogue lines further down, which references this line of dialogue (notorious Eichi line everyone should be familiar with)

kind of somewhat really recontextualises that? Because you see this is a reference to a fairytale about a pair of siblings and they get sent out by a nice fairy to find the bluebird of happiness for her sad daughter to make her happy again so they both go on an adventure and travel far and search and search but they can not find the bluebird of happiness and then when they return home again, disappointed because they couldn't find the blue bird, they realise only one night has actually passed and the journey was probably just a dream. But then their eyes fall upon their pet dove in it's cage which appears blue all of a sudden and so they gift it to the fairies sad daughter which becomes happy again and sets the bird free. The real bluebird of happiness is a dove. At least in the version of the story I'm familiar with but I mean everyone sees the symbolism right? It's. very hard to miss.

And then dropping this?

I'm not sure how to say this properly but in the overall context this makes it pretty clear that Tsumugi has nothing to do with this anymore this is Fully between Wataru and Eichi. And I am the last person to dismiss Tsumugis significance in the course of Wataeis relationship as characters I will be among the first to protest when someone dismisses the importance of Tsumugis and Eichis relationship in favour of some image they have of Wataei but he has nothing to do with this one.

Yes Tsumugi gets namedropped but - again - I don't really see how that would lessen the sentiment Wataru is triying to convey here? Because. Yes. Why wouldn't he mention Tsumugi?

The entire conversation pretty much boils down to "Yes I was initially only in this because I thought I could replace Tsumugis role in your life and then I wanted to leave but we have spent so much time together that I realised that that is definitely not working out because I really do love you. I love you as a teammate; I love you as a friend; I love you as a person and I am very angry at myself for not managing to get that into your head. So please allow me to stay with you for as long as you'll have me." And then also Eichi not understanding because he has the emotional self awareness of a very emotionally unaware loaf of bread and also because he hates himself that is a very big thing about his character huge part of his character arc actually that he. you know? Hates himself? And feels guitly for his actions during the war? And doesn't think he deserves love and companionship? Which is why Wataru wanting to stay with him for him and not for some twisted form of revenge is such an alien concept to him? Because he is projecting his insecurities onto Wataru? As one is wont to do when they hate themself? "EiChi Didn'T eVen UnDErStanD WhAt tf ThAT Mask MEAnt" Yeah. That's. That's the point? So he can think about it and come to that conclusion himself which works as a keymoment in his characters journey from hating life and himself to enjoying being alive and wanting to live on because of the people he's surrounded with? He literally explains why he didn't immediately understand the mask during the EP:Link Epilogue/4

And to get back to the "I dunno why the f you think it's ok to lie about "! EnDiNG wItH wAtAeI EnGaGeMEnT" about which I have two things to say:

"Lying" implies further intent and an effort. Neither of which exist in this case.

He literally went down on one knee while making a big proclamation of offering himself to Eichi with a very personal item that works as a symbol for their commitment to each other on a starlit rooftop. The comparison writes itself.

3. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joke

And then I expected there to be a proper reason given and instead you proceed to follow that up with "when the chapter it happened wasn't even close to the end of ep:link". I know the shame is on me for expecting something sensical from an ask which has been near constant in it's lack of correct statements but such is human nature I suppose. And you are not wrong. Deadend/7 isn't very close to the end of EP:Link. That is true.

But do you know what Is very close to the end of EP:Link? The Epilogue Chapters 3-5.

Do you know what the content of those chapters is? I do. Very well actually :)

(Eichi literally explains why he didn't get it)

So if this answers your "Do you dumb fucks even read the stories?" questions, Yes. And I think I'm a lot better at it than you. So I'd say I'm coping quite well over here :p

PS: Regarding your PS, I take the "I've never been in love before so I wouldn't know" comment with a lot of humour actually as an aroace person who's emotional self awareness also ends at "good" and "Not good" I think it's very funny all things considered especially because he mentioned the loving Wataru thing several times before that and I'm generally of the belief that actions speak louder than words and also am in a happy long term relationship with the concept of "Reading Subtext". So please excuse me for not breaking down in tears everytime someone reminds me of that one singuar line of text in one of my favourite all time enstars stories that came out three years ago which also brought us the single best card set in the entire game

as well as absolute banger dialogue such as

Among others <33

And there are soooooo many other examples of wataei dialogue that simply make me swoon but I have already had to take out so many of the one's I wish I could put here so this wouldn't get "Do you love the colour of the sky" long

And also, regarding your "Wataru said that even though Eichi likes him, he still can easily discard him for the sake of his objectives" I'll just say that no he absolutely could not. I mean he'd say that and if pull comes to shove and he has no other option then he might seriously consider it but may I mention that Wataru was gone for a few days at most but really not that long of a time during Sanctuary and Eichi stopped considering being a normal rational person that doesn't leave helpless 17 year olds in the midst of a construction site. Very different situation but I feel like it's worth mentioninh here. Another example is Eichis almost not being able to go through with the war because of Wataru. Wataru had to actively come and tell Eichi to go through with it. Wataru isn't the reason Eichi started the war, that is wrong, but he is the reason Eichi almost didn't finish it. and during the war era that was his Main objective. Again I'm part of the fraction "actions speak louder than words" Show don't tell and all that, but even the words are pushing it.

And that concludes my essay :)

[drawing-write]

Okay! SO, I just read through everything you posted here (which, by the way, beautifully arranged and comprehensive, I love the way you WORD-)

The themes you drew from the texts and how you link it to Odysseus and the narrative, the complexities of it all, is so freaking cool. I'm sorry I cannot express words as well as you to fully say how much I adore and appreciate how in-depth you went.

As I've said before, I have read the Odyssey, but that was long ago and while I enjoyed it, I admit I didn't understand it- at least not fully. My experience being more surface level as a casual enjoyer. You've really opened my eyes and made me so so eager to reread and catch all of which I've missed. Yap and rant all day long, friend, this is everything I wanted. I am in starry-eyed awe.

GOSH, I CANNOT SAY ENOUGH HOW MUCH I LOVE CONTENT LIKE THIS. Your genuine love and pride for this has me so giddy. The way you go about it makes it clear how much effort you put in, it's so well-thought out and loved.

(I am probs gonna be scrolling through your blog so much, I'm so sorry if you get random notifications from me hearting/liking stuff. skhkdghdh)

For the musical, I get you completely. When someone who should be knowledgeable on something you love, and clearly has passion and talent for it, yet still not grasp what makes the original what it is, freaking sucks (for lack of better words.)

I have gone through similar things seeing people who should be making something great out of a wonderful story only to take out the parts you loved the most or fail to capture the essence of the characters, story, and themes- It just sucks.

Some of my favourite things to read is historical fiction, which sorta clashes with my love for history. Because fiction often gets things wrong. (I also have pretty strong opinions on adaptations and retellings as well, I get so very angry over some things in other medias- UGH the rants I could go on about book to movie adaptions- but that is neither here or there.)

I am also a musical nerd, so I guess that's what gives me my soft-spot for Epic. I feel like I would have been more against the musical if I had delved into the Odyssey beyond surface level beforehand. Perhaps because I already grew attached to Epic I can't muster feelings of upset even though the things I dislike about it are similar to what you dislike about it. That being inaccuracies mostly.

Learning more now only brings me more appreciation for the original. (I really can't get enough of the connections you put, describing Odysseus and just how real he is, how contradictory he is. It's aaaa)

This has just been me rambling, I'm so sorry I literally have no insight to contribute to this *sobs*

Hello! I just stumbled upon your blog when I joined The Odyssey community! If it isn't too much a bother to ask, what things, reccuring themes and characterizations do you feel are most important and iconic within The Odyssey?

I am asking this mostly because I really do like your rants and opinions, I find myself agreeing to a lot of what you say, which sorta surprises me because of your clear dislike of Epic, whereas I personally adore Epic: The Musical. (I stayed away from it for a while -I was wary of retellings, adaptions and what-not- until I finally got into it like, a month ago and since, I have been listening non-stop)

So, when I came onto your posts, I was immediately drawn towards your Epic based rants and your translations. Point for point, you hit all the parts I disliked about the musical, albeit, my dislike is obviously much milder, since I still love it. I also completely understoond your stance on source material over so-called retellings since I have felt and still do feel the same about other (unrelated to The Odyssey) medias and fandoms.

If you'd like to talk, I love to hear more of your thoughts! Tell me all of what you loved about The Odyssey. Refresh my knowledge and give me your insight! I'm getting back into reading it, since I read it only once before a long time ago. I have always been more of a casual enjoyer, but now I'm really trying to dip my toes in.

(You don't have to say anything about the musical either, I just really liked your rants on it and the corrections you made on the misinformation rampant in the fandom due to preconceived notions... Sorry, I talk a lot-)

Why hello and I am quite honored you discovered me hahahahaha oh my, my once again being known for my runts huh? Hahaha XD I can see why though! I am really honored you decided to ask me such intriguing question! Hahaha how dare you! You know I am a yapper about this book! Hehehe!

I would say one reoccurring theme in the Odyssey that I rarely ever see in adaptations is the theme of seeking of knowledge. I find it so disappointing how it is literally one of the main themes of the Odyssey and yet I rarely ever see it happening. It is literally at the first lyrics of the poem:

πολλῶν δ᾽ ἀνθρώπων ἴδεν ἄστεα καὶ νόον ἔγνω

He saw many cities of men and gained knowledge from them

(Translation by me)

Odysseus was not just experiencing his homecoming. It was a cognitive trip; a trip where he learnt things and he achieved things on his way.

He didn't stop at the cave of Cyclops because he had nothing else to do or no food to go by. It is clearly stated in the Odyssey that the island of the Cyclops was extremely fertile and had many wild goats and other animals they could hunt and feed on. Odysseus entered the cave because he wanted to meet the people that lived there. He ignored the signs that showed the residents were non-human because he wanted to give a chance to whoever lived in that cave to show that they were more than what met the eye.

He met the land of Aeolia next. His stay in that land for one month was share knowledge with Aeolus. He told them his story, they also told him their own experiences, thus Odysseus knows about how Aeolus arranged the marriage of his children and all

He sent scouts to the land of the Laestrigonians and their city, he was though more prudent this time and assured a safe passage even if his comrades didn't follow his prudent stance this is what costed them their lives but one ship.

He shared knowledge with Circe, not only on the part of his trip that he needed to move on but also gained knowledge from her. One example is the mention of a cunning knot he learnt from her which he used later in his adventures. Small details like that.

He gained knowledge from Tiresias not only on how to break his curse but also on what happened the years he was away from his home.

He had no reason to hear the sirens! The sirens is exactly the manifestation of his trip being of cognitive nature. He wanted to hear them. He NEEDED the knowledge they provided! Removing that concept from his trip in any shape or form shows to me someone who does not understand the Odyssey (I know it is harsh to say but I feel like there is one part of the Odyssey that is so iconic like the 12 axes challenge and that is the sirens passage)

Odysseus learns in every part of his trip and uses that knowledge to future adventures. But what I also fail to see is how CONSCIOUS this knowledge-gain is. Of course he learns things accidentally too but most part of it is knowledge he chooses to acquire for himself.

Another theme that I do not see much is theme of fate and destiny. Odysseus is not some idiot who doxxed himself as most people use the overused joke. In fact his trip is so thick of plot that one way or another something would have happened to cause this wandering.

Troy was destined to stand 10 years (from the Iliad),

Odysseus was destined to go home in 20 (hence he needed extra persuasion to go to the war).

Polyphemus was prophesized before that he would have been blinded by a man named Odysseus (he just didn't know who that Odysseus would be)

but we also know that Odysseus was destined to meet Circe (Circe mentions how Hermes had warned her for the prophesized man coming to her isle. She probably was unaware on the identity of the man or how that man would arrive at her doors)

Odysseus was also cursed by Polyphemus that he would either never return or return alone without his companions and find misery at his home

The true line between fate and destiny and human will is very thin in greek mythology. However we also see that Odysseus tries repeatedly to change fate even if it is inevitable (see my analysis here). It is this human part of his that is so relatable! Also the fact that oftentimes in the joke people forget that Odysseus experienced the absolute horror in the cave of Polyphemus for days. Exhaustion and anger took the best of him as well as of course his ego being inflated that he had managed to take down such a powerful opponent. And of course the reoccurring misunderstanding that Odysseus never cared for anyone else but as I have also analyzed there that is simply not true. It is even stated in the Odyssey:

πολλὰ δ᾽ ὅ γ᾽ ἐν πόντῳ πάθεν ἄλγεα ὃν κατὰ θυμόν, ἀρνύμενος ἥν τε ψυχὴν καὶ νόστον ἑταίρων.

He suffered many torments in his heart out at the sea, seeking to win his own life/soul and the return of his companions

(Translation by me)

The whole trip was always about Odysseus wishing to return them all safely home. Which is also part of his tragedy and shows why he went in so many lengths to save them etc.

I am honored that someone that likes this piece of media can still understand and even liking some of these opinions. I understand that for someone that genuinely like it might be a bit annoying or tiring but yeah I guess I love the original way too much! Hahaha! And okay I understand the songs are really catchy so it can be getting into someone's head easily but I am really delighted to hear you say that! And of course to be fair there are many things one can like about the musical for example the talent of the people related to it and their passion

However ironically that was the source of my dislike as well hehe I know it is paradoxical but when I see someone with obvious knowledge of the sources and passion for something, twist the original material to THAT degree...dunno I feel it even harder. I mean of course one does not expect it to be accurate but when I hear that and yet someone claim to adapt material I would expect of course these small details changing here and there for example adding dialogs with Poseidon (that is like a must in every adaptation minus the 1968 version I noticed...like Poseidon never interacted with Odysseus but that is something every adaptation adds!) or extra scenes with Hermes or whatever or even some of the details added. The problem is that the whole plot was twisted beyond repair, basic parts of the plot that made the plot unique and beloved were thrown out the window And BECAUSE I recognize the talent of the people involved AND seeing they had the chance as they did to make not only the Odyssey available to public but also influence more people to see it and they could do it by staying respectful to the material and yet they chose not to which increased as I said my disappointment. I was also very warm when I watched the first two sagas even if they were also inaccurate because they had exactly what I describe. So yes of course I absolutely understand why people would like it. Dang I absolutely do at least on the artistic department but the way as you brilliantly stated not only the plot but also the fandom of it has been at times it really got to me more than many things

So it is really a good change to see more people see this point of view too and I respect the fact that some people like it and yet do try to see the other view too. You are very kind for saying that!

Hahahaha dude you are asking a dangerous question! Hahahaha! I can talk about it forever! Hahaha Honestly what is there to me not to love about the Odyssey? For starters the fact that it is an ancient Greek poem, something linked to my country and my history and being loved in such a great degree and continue to inspire even almost 3000 years later, fills me with so much pride! Makes me inspired to do something similar! Like not caring if I will be a celebrity but someone see my work and admire it even if they do not know who I am...someone that can see this and continue to speak on it for generations to come... Of course many writers do the same as well like classical literature and all but for the specific one I feel so much pride!

The Odyssey arguably has everything! Romance, friendship and companionship, horror and peace, war and bloodshed and also tenderness of a family, drama and comedy, adventure and domestic life even daresay sci-fi details with the Phaeakes island that have literal robotic dogs created by Hephaestus for them. Odysseus is one of the most complicated personas in all literature history and earned that position in the hall of fame. Arguably even ancient Greeks and Romans could not handle the guy with so many different opinions that paint him from hero till villain. The same guy that held back from the battle till the proper moment and then abandoned his last escape to save Diomedes in the Iliad is now sailing to the seas. The same man that took Ismarus and slay the men and took women of it as his property and mentioning it as casually as he could was also crying his eyes out in guilt upon hearing a song about Troy and the way the city fell. The same guy that tenderly held his son and cried like a baby holding him and kissing him was also the same person that slaughtered 108 men in his palace and executed their allies in less than a day. The same guy who reigned the kingdom like a father; who embraced and kissed his slaves like equals, was also undoubtedly a strong leader and king who defended his authority with iron hand and he was ready to even slay his own brother-in-law when he defied him. The same man that held back from volunteering to face Hector in the Iliad and made sure he would be the last to be chosen, in the Odyssey he armed himself ready to face an immortal 6-headed monster all by himself. The man known for his mind and cunning and indirect ways is also known for being one of the greatest warriors known. Arguably even his age being one of the oldest kings in the Iliad and yet as Antilochus said he was also one of the fastest and more agile and one of the best in spear. The most pious and religious people to the gods, favored by one of the greatest goddesses of all, Athena, and loved by Zeus was also one of those who suffered a great deal from his hubris.

This man is the absolute perfection of contradictions in one body and the way he is portrayed by Homer especially in the Odyssey where he is the protagonist is a masterpiece of emotions. Arguably Odysseus is also one of the earliest male rape victims in literature for he was not just attempted to be raped and seduced but he had to literally sell his body once to Circe and then he was being forced by Calypso. A warrior that was absolutely powerless before the gods

The Odyssey is also a great allegory of the spread of Greeks to the Mediterranean sea before the official set of colonies and the way it provides us information on how they moved around. It is also an allegory on the dangers humans faced out in the sea, how they struggled and how the families left behind also struggled with the consequences. How the power of nature can bend someone but also how human with seer will can do incredible things Odysseus survived the impossible not because he had gods as parents or hardly any help from the gods itself with the exception of Leucothea in the last adventure and of course finally Athena to the final stage. Odysseus survived because of his seer will and his need to return home. Odysseus can be any one of us; a person who struggles every day; everything can hold us down and we might have no help or very little help from others but we must keep pushing through. The Odyssey also shows us the importance of companionship and family bonds, loyalty and trust. Odysseus didn't slay the suitors because he was a mary-sue all-powerful person. He had help from three loyal slaves (Euryclea, Eumaeus and Philoetius) and his son Telemachus. He didn't do it alone. He used the help of those who believed in him and quite frankly he faced a much less bad situation at his palace because of his wife's seer will and loyalty to not abandon the throne of Ithaca to anyone till he arrived.

The Odyssey is also about how there are many forms of strength. Penelope was not less strong than Odysseus because she didn't kill anyone with a sword. She was strong for keeping more than 100 men and several parts of the household that were betraying them with her seer will and mind. Telemachus was both a fighter and someone who tried to see the best in people and that saved his life (when he spared Theoklymenos at his return from his trip. Theoklymenos was a man who had committed murder. Telemachus chose to give him a chance and in return he received the prophecy of Theoklymenos that the suitors were planning an ambush) Odysseus also learnt forgiveness in one way when he was ready to start another bloodshed by the end of the Odyssey when the families of the suitors saught revenge but Athena stopped it, making sure both sides stopped the never-ending circle of violence. Nausicaa is an example of loving someone and yet you must respect their wishes and let them go. Telemachus is an example of self-discovery... The very realistic scenario of someone not recognizing the place they left for so long and people not recognizing you back. That you have to work yourself through the very same place you left behind! Even Telemachus as a character not even knowing what to believe anymore about the father he never met, not knowing whom to listen and whom not to etc. like a realistic scenario of absent veteran fathers who disappeared a long time ago...

Honestly...what ISN'T the Odyssey?! It is in my opinion one of the most complete pieces of literature that opens the way in many things! I am really happy you shall decide to look at it more attentively and I hope you shall enjoy it because honestly it's worth it.

(My friend I do not mind at all speaking about it. I am just not a fan so I am just asking the understanding of anyone that I am not gonna be very positive about what I mention and say. However I shall try not to be hater with no reason or logic, that I can promise to try)

[noodles-07]

genuine question how the fuck am I supposed to do all the [gestures vaguely] the everything

[perilegs]

idk anything about ramattra but i think it's enough to be voiced by ramon tikaram & have someone playing him say thanks in game for me to fall in love

[waywardsalt]

writing down some notes for bellum traits/speculative biology/whatever so here's a couple so far

he's cold blooded but can't die due to extreme temperatures, it just makes it harder for him to function.

amphibious in the sense that he can survive in both water and air, though he doesn't really need to breathe, if anything he mostly interacts with water and air through traversal differences.

he does move like a squid, he can just float around but to move faster he does need to move his tentacles for slight propulsion and steering, and does intake and jet out water or air for some extra speed. he is not literally a squid creature but he is very similar.

he's got little barbs on the undersides of his tentacles (similar to the texture of a cat's tongue) which help with grabbing onto and holding things.

he can pull his main eye down into his body if he wants to use his mouth as... a mouth, or when he creates those little goop things or otherwise to spit out that purple substance.

[impishsensei]

when utahime questioned the sincerity of gojo's feelings, he honestly felt more pain in his chest than he'd felt in a long time. that's what she thought of him, huh? he wanted to be upset about that, but he couldn't blame her. it was justified. satoru knew he wasn't the kindest to her over the years, especially around the time he was 15 to 22, but he hadn't been particularly malicious or cruel to her with his antics since then. that was more than long enough for her to hate him, though. 

he felt like such an idiot for not coming to terms with how he felt sooner. he didn't understand it. he was confused, and an idiot teenage boy. he took it out on her by mocking her, frustrated at how he felt. he also knew it was the only way to get her attention, since nothing else seemed to get her to look at him. when she was angry, though, all that fierce passion of hers was focused on no one but him. he liked riling her up, because he knew he was the only one that got under her skin the way he did. 

❝ i've known you since i was a little boy, ‘hime. you were kind to me at a time when i’d never really known it. you were genuinely concerned about me, and from the start you never cared about my status or technique or anything like that. i could just be satoru, ❞  he explained, a somewhat bashful smile on his face as he admitted this all to her. he was even blushing, his cheeks and the tips of his ears taking on a slight red hue. it was awkward being so forward and open about his feelings, but she really sprang him into action when she kissed him. he'd long since figured his feelings out before that, but he was fearful of ruining what they had. she'd told him before that she wouldn't be interested in him even if he was the last boy on earth. 

that one stung. he got so angry that he'd gone and stuck gum in her hair as a ‘joke’. that was really cruel. even suguru, his usual partner in crime, got on his case about how much of a dick-move that was. he still recalled how she cried and screamed at him, all about how she hated him and he was jerk. some other colorful words, he was positive, but she was mostly just sad. he understood, later, that a woman's appearance, especially as a sorcerer, was almost as important as having a strong technique. as a woman in general, honestly. that's what shoko told him.

❝ of course you're important and precious to me. and yeah, i do like you. a lot. probably a lot more than you could imagine. ❞ his hand started to reach up then, itching to cup her cheek, but kiss aside, he didn't know how she felt. maybe it was just a heat of the moment thing, or she was attracted to him. he knew whatever she felt ended there. his hand sank back down onto the counter, curled into a fist as a show of his restraint. he'd done it roughly enough to feel the broken pieces of marble cutting into his hand, but his expression didn't falter. it really was nothing to him, even if his hand bled a little — he could heal it later. 

❝ do you really think i'd be that cruel? i know i'm a jerk, but c'mon. i wouldn't joke like that with you. i'm serious. i know you don't feel the same, but when you kissed me i thought, maybe, ❞ satoru takes a pause there and gives her some more space, leaving room for her to even step away if she wanted to. he didn't want to scare her, after all, and that bewildered expression on her face made him wonder if he had. 

❝ … maybe you'd be interested. delusional, i know, but i at least wanted to let you know how i felt in case, well, you know. ❞ he shrugged and looked down and away then, feeling more vulnerable than he'd felt in a long time. he knew at the very least, utahime wouldn't judge him. she was kind, and even if he was a jackass she'd let him down gently. that's how he knew he really was a delusional idiot, because he'd never deserve such a caring and kind woman like her. he'd be awful, and she deserved a guy who wasn't. 

he could tell her a lot more — that he gave stuff to others with the direction of gifting it to her because he knew she wouldn't accept it from him. he'd ask the old man or one of her students if she was doing well, because she didn't really call him, and rarely responded to his texts.

he might say that he checked on her often, from a distance, just to make sure she was doing alright. sometimes shoko couldn't handle a sloppy drunk and passed out utahime, so satoru would offer and carefully drop her off at her place, or one of the spare dorms at the school, just to ensure she'd be comfortable and safe.

he'd mention how he paid mei-san to watch her with those crows of hers, himself remaining close but not in utahime's line of sight because that would bother her.

he could even tell her he loved her, but he was scared to hear her tell him she didn't feel the same. he'd rather pretend and live in his delusions than hear that. 

          real pathetic of me, i know. 

❝ tomorrow is never promised, especially not in our line of work. well, for you at least. nothing could take me out, ‘cause i’m the strongest. but seriously, i don't want to regret having never said anything. i'm sorry if this makes shit weird. you can pretend i didn't say it, if you want. ❞

         THE PAIN IN UTAHIME'S HAND WAS THROBBING. She cradled her arm close to her chest, holding her injured hand away from her body. She could see the skin already turning an ANGRY RED, and the swelling had begun to set in.

She heard footsteps behind her and waved her free hand dismissively.

         "Don't," she warned, glancing around for something to cool the burn. "If you're going to make fun of me, can you wait until after I'm done here ?"

         Utahime glanced at him over her shoulder, ready to SILENCE Gojo with a glare. But what she saw wasn’t what she had expected. He was coming toward her, his eyes locked on her hand, his expression full of CONCERN.

         He gently grabbed her forearm and pulled her toward the sink. He turned on the faucet and brought her hand under the water. Utahime could only watch, stunned by his actions. She just stood there as the cool water soothed the pain. She could feel his grip — his fingers encircling her arm — and he was being so careful.

         In the years they had known each other, Gojo had NEVER been so gentle with her.

         What. . . ?

         He wasn’t teasing her or mocking her at all.

         Why. . . ?

         "I'm fine," she muttered, glancing at where his hand held her arm. She couldn't help but feel a little unnerved. She very nearly protested and yanked her hand away. It was a knee - jerk reaction.

         Gojo was . . . being nice.

         She wasn't sure if she was comfortable with it. He wasn't acting like his usual self. The Gojo Satoru that she knew wouldn't care if she got a little burned. He would LAUGH at her. He would MOCK her for not being more careful. He would TEASE her for being such a clumsy klutz.

         That was who he was.

         This was. . .

         "It's a small burn, nothing to fuss about."

         But he was fussing, and that made her uneasy. Gojo was MAKING her feel weird.

         Utahime shifted her feet UNCOMFORTABLY, her heart beating too fast. While it was true that today was full of surprises, she wasn't used to this kind of attention from him. Her eyebrows pinched together in confusion, and her stomach fluttered with IDIOTIC butterflies. His touch was sending tingles down her spine, and she found herself feeling a bit ANNOYED.

         What is wrong with me ?

         What am I getting so worked up about ?

         It was only Gojo.

         "Y-you really don't have to do this. . . I can take care of myself, you know. Gojo—"

         Before she could say another word, Gojo had lifted her chin. He was staring at her. His expression turned so UNCHARACTERISTICALLY serious that she found herself obediently doing exactly as he had instructed her. She kept her hand under the running water, and her gaze stayed locked with his.

         His tone had taken her off guard. Gojo rarely used the word PLEASE, so she obeyed him without thinking.

         He had BEGGED her to listen to him.

         There was an underlying DESPERATION to his voice that she had never heard before. She didn't understand why he was this concerned, but something told her not to question him.

         "O - okay." She could hear the hesitancy in her voice, and her lips quivered as she nodded her head. "I'll leave it under the water for ten minutes."

         She could feel the heat of his palm against her chin as he tipped her face up toward his. 

         Her gaze darted back and forth, unable to keep eye contact. She stared at his cheek, the tip of his nose, and his damn soft - looking lips, then quickly looked away. She looked anywhere but in his direction. The look in his eyes was intense. 

         She was confused and had many questions — her thoughts were jumbled. His sudden tenderness was giving her a strange feeling.

         She didn't hate it, but she didn't like it.

         She was. . .

         Utahime felt the wet cloth being wrapped around her hand, and the sensation made her suck in a shaky breath. She hadn't even noticed that he had taken his hand off her chin or that he was using a towel to provide further relief to her burns.

         She watched him carefully bandage her wound. It didn't hurt as badly now, thanks to the cool water, and the cloth was soothing.

         She felt his hands on her face as he gently wiped away the TEARS at the corner of her eyes. This made her lift her head and finally look up at him. The touch of his fingertips making her tremble. His kindness was unnerving, and his behavior was BEWILDERING. He was once more staring at her, with such an intense look in his eyes.

         He was caging her against the kitchen counter, and the space between them was growing smaller.

         "I do want to know."

         It was so ANNOYING how much she wanted to know. She WANTED to understand.

         Why was he looking at her like that ?

         Like he wanted to. . .

         Like he wants to. . .

         "Go—"

         The intensity in his eyes was causing her stomach to knot. There was an emotion in his gaze that made her want to RUN. The countertop cracked beneath his fingers, and the sound startled her momentarily. No sooner than she had heard the sound, Gojo's face was leaning down toward hers, and she could feel his breath tickling her skin. A STRANGE NOISE CAME OUT OF HER THROAT. The sound of it made her ears BURN. Her lips parted, and her gaze fell. She couldn't stop staring at his mouth. His lips were so close. . .

         "Gojo. . . ?"

         His name was a soft whisper.

         Are we going to kiss again ?

         She hadn't thought it through. What she WANTED to do. It had been IMPULSIVE, kissing him. AND YET, her lips tingled when she thought about it.

         She wouldn't mind feeling his lips against hers.

         She had liked it.

         It had felt good.

         Utahime's eyes became half - lidded, and she TENTATIVELY leaned forward, the anticipation building inside of her.

         Gojo’s breath was warm against her skin, his face mere inches from hers.

         All she had to do was. . .

         We are friends. We are. . .

         Utahime saw his eyes flickering down to her lips, and she felt the tip of his nose grazing her own. Utahime's eyes shut tight as he leaned closer, and she waited for his lips to meet hers.

         Friends.

         With benefits.

         Her stomach twisted at the thought. Is this really a good idea ? Gojo had a reputation for sleeping around. She didn't want to be just ANOTHER girl to him.

         He wasn't her lover.

         He was her FRIEND.

         She didn't like him.

         No.

         She didn't.

         Utahime COULDN'T.

         The way Gojo was acting. . . It made her uncomfortable. He was making her think. . . Things she didn't want to. She was sure she'd LIKE Gojo better if he kissed her. She was SURPRISED by just how much she wanted him to.

         Damn him.

         Her heart was racing. It was beating so fast and it was because of him. Her hand throbbed, and her head was spinning.

         Why is he. . .

         Gojo was. . .

         "Ah. . ."

         And just when she was about to lose all SELF - CONTROL, and her lips were about to touch his, she felt his forehead press against hers.

         "Why. . . ?"

         GOJO DIDN'T KISS HER. It didn't escape her how disappointed she was, and it bothered her the way her stomach was fluttering. She opened her eyes slowly and found herself staring into his.

         His gaze was. . .

         She didn't have a word for it. 

         "I'm important to you ?"

         Huh ?

         Was it just her, or was his voice deeper, huskier than normal ?

         "I'm precious to you ?"

         Gojo's next words caused her to frown. She was trying to decipher his meaning, and her brain was having difficulty catching up. What does he mean by that ?

         "Platonic," she repeated softly. Utahime could have sworn his eyes darkened. "What do you mean by your feelings for me are more than platonic ?"

         That couldn't possibly mean. . .

         Was he INSINUATING that. . .

         "Gojo, are you trying to say. . ." Utahime couldn't say the words out loud. SHE DIDN'T WANT TO SAY THEM, because there was just NO WAY. Gojo couldn’t POSSIBLY be saying what she thought he was saying. Could he ? If he had said he wanted to SLEEP WITH HER, she could have understood because he was Gojo Satoru. She would have been as OFFENDED as she would have been flattered, but she would have understood.

         Gojo Satoru wasn't capable of LOVING her.

         Not because she thought he wasn't CAPABLE of loving someone, but because she just wasn't the right one. 

         What am I thinking ?

         The idea of him LIKING her was just too INCONCEIVABLE.

         He can't be serious.

         Utahime was the woman Gojo Satoru HATED most in the world. He'd claimed she was IMPORTANT to him. He'd claimed she was ABSOLUTELY PRECIOUS to him. She didn't understand why. He enjoyed TEASING her and MESSING with her head.

         Gojo's doesn't—

         Utahime could admit to herself that it wasn’t IMPOSSIBLE for him to desire her physically. But LOVING her and wanting her sexually. . . were two different things. You didn’t NEED love to start a SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP with someone, but you did need to be PHYSICALLY attracted to them, and he had already proven that he found her sexually DESIRABLE. But their relationship was so CONTENTIOUS. As they were now, there was no way.  She couldn't see herself with him ROMANTICALLY. She couldn't imagine DATING him for real. 

         "Gojo. . . do you have a crush on me ?" The question was out of her mouth before she had time to think about it. 

         Gojo had said he WANTED her. As in, wanted her, wanted her. As in, SEX. As in, no LABELS. 

         THE WAY he was talking to her. . . 

         That sounded a WHOLE LOT like. . . 

         A label.

         Gojo Satoru doesn't do commitments.

         "I—you." Utahime felt her whole body tense in response and she sucked in a breath trying to calm her pounding heart. SHE DIDN'T THINK Gojo meant anything serious.

         But. . .

         That sounds like a love confession. "That almost sounds like you like me." The disbelief in her tone was thick, and her eyes searched his face for answers. Gojo was really looking at her like— "I know I started this by kissing you first but. . ." 

         He can't possibly be serious. 

         Her heart was thumping in her chest, and she couldn't get a read on him.

         Is this some kind of joke ? Is he just pulling my leg ? She was waiting for the PUNCHLINE, for the inevitable ‘ just kidding ’, for him to burst out laughing at her.

         But THE WAY he was looking at her. . .

         It made her stomach do a little flip. 

         "Gojo," she drew away from him and her eyes narrowed in warning. "If you're messing with me right now—"

         Her fingers curled protectively over her injured hand, and she pulled her arm closer to her chest.

         "It's not funny."

[euthymiya]

like a lotus in spring, you are mine to bloom — ft. alhaitham

synopsis: at twenty one, you’re just a girl he meets as he trains for the role of scribe. at twenty four, you’ve become everything he loves in this world. after three years of knowing you and nearly two and a half decades of life, alhaitham finally realizes why his father left letters for his mother instead of just saying the words outloud

❤︎ word count: 7.7k words — we find ourselves here in the same old situation again, i see LOL pls give it a chance though!! plssss

❤︎ before you read: female reader ; 18+ content — not suitable for minors ; not proof read ; strangers to friends to lovers ; mutual pining but not at the same time for a bit (he falls first <3) ; jealous alhaitham ; hinted drunk sex ; getting together + love confessions ; alhaitham character story spoilers + references to his grandmother and parents ; semi-clothed unprotected sex ; no prep ; some nipple play ; creampie ; the cringiest love letter at the end LOL

❤︎ comments: guys every time i write alhaitham it’s so corny and cheesy but . he is my fav genshin guy of all time i deserve to be allowed this okay

TWENTY ONE. 

You’re still a student when you first meet Alhaitham. (Not a student for much longer, but a student all the same. With a little luck on your side and good graces from your darshan’s sage on your thesis, you’re expected to graduate in just a few short months.)

You don’t have the best first meet. In fact, your impression of Alhaitham starts off entirely on the wrong foot. 

He’s newly graduated, just freshly rewarded a degree for his (impressive) efforts, and is now well on his way to training for the role of scribe—you heard he was offered far more prestigious roles, but for some reason, a genius like him settled for a role like that. You try not to judge. People have their passions, after all, and if that’s what he wants to do, well…who are you to make comments? (But amongst a school that only houses the brilliant, Alhaitham is, very undoubtedly, a standout. It’s hard to stand out in a school filled with only the best minds, but he manages to do so with ease. Sometimes, you’re almost jealous. You can’t help but wonder why he doesn’t aim a little higher than he does.)

He trains in the house of Daena. His first order of training is to fact-check ordinance drafts using books so he can better get the hang of drafting them himself in the future. You’re also in the House of Daena to find the last book for your thesis—after weeks of begging, you’re finally granted access to the restricted section to find it. 

And you do. Except your palm meets warm skin instead of the cold leather cover of a book. You pause, glancing up as sharp, teal eyes meet your gaze, staring at you expectantly as if you should be the one letting go. But you need this book. It’s the final research element to finish your thesis, and you’d like to be done with it. End of story. No matter how devastatingly handsome the man (because he is handsome, you’ll admit at least that much), you will not be handing over the last, final key to your academic freedom.

“Um, excuse me,” you say politely, “I was kind of reaching for that.”

“As was I,” he says, staring at you with a bored, almost uncaring expression. Your eyes narrow. “Now, if you’d please kindly take your hand off of mine.”

“I believe it should be you taking your hand off of mine,” you correct, huffing as you add stubbornly, “I reached for it first.”

He blinks at you, bland and a little irritated, as he points out, “Your hand is on top of mine, which means I reached the book first.”

Well.

Maybe if you were feeling particularly patient, you’d be inclined to admit that, yes, he does have a point. But stubbornness, combined with pure exhaustion, has you at your wit's end, and if you have to play the role of a difficult student, then so be it. You’re pretty sure you need it more, and you’re probably a much speedier reader anyway. You’ll have it done and returned in no time.

This guy, on the other hand…he doesn’t look too bright. You’re not willing to take your chances and let him walk off with a book that you might never see again.

“I started reaching for it first,” you scowl, “you just sped up your hand once you saw me. I should get it.”

“Unlikely,” he scoffs, “I didn’t even see you. Although,” he gives you a once over with his eyes, making you feel uncomfortably seen under his judging gaze, “I suppose you were a bit easy to miss.”

You gape at him. “Just what does that mean?”

“It means,” he smirks, taking the opportunity to grab the book as you stand in shock, “that I got here first.”

“Hey!” You glare at him, seeing red for a moment. What a perfectly good waste of a perfectly handsome face—and such an awful attitude coupled with his ridiculously smug grin couldn’t make for a worse combination. But, before you can even say anything, the book is being pressed back into your hands.

“You seem like you want it more than I do, though,” he hums, “I suppose I can let you have it. It’s a bit outdated for this ordinance, anyway.” With that, he saunters off. You push down the soft flutter in your heart for a moment and force yourself to hope you’ll never see him again. (Faintly, you hope your wishes don’t come true—but you refuse to admit it to yourself.)

Unfortunately (and fortunately at the same time) for you, you do see him again. Many, many times, in fact. When he works in the House of Daena as often as he does, and you like to spend all your free time there to study if you can, you’re both bound to run into each other often. Very often. 

And sometimes, it’s quite literally running into him. 

“Oof,” you hiss, staggering backward and hitting your head against the bookshelf behind you as you bump into a sturdy figure. You drop the books in your hand, blinking before reaching to rub your read as you start to apologize. “Sorry, I didn’t see you—oh. It’s you.”

“It’s me,” he says, looking mildly entertained. Alhaitham is everywhere. Everywhere. You can’t escape him if you try, and now, you can’t even avoid him in your own personal space. “Although, I think I should be the one apologizing this time. I was too busy reading to pay attention. This section is usually empty at this time.”

“How often are you in here to know what section is empty at what time?” You raise a brow. 

“Too often to be considered good for my well-being,” he says dryly, sighing in misery. You crack a smile at that. Oddly enough, so does he—you don’t think you’ve ever heard someone say they’ve seen Alhaitham smile. It must be a rare sight that only you, and perhaps a very few others, can say they’ve witnessed. “I was just about to take a break to buy a coffee—I’ll bring one back for you, too, to make up for the cranial damage I’ve supplied.”

“A most wonderful idea,” you perk up instantly, “I love when I get to drain the wallet of a man.”

He gives you an amused look at that. And somehow, bringing you a coffee along with his own during his breaks is a habit that seems to stick for a long, long while after that. 

────────────────────────

TWENTY TWO.

Alhaitham’s feelings are hurt. Not a lot of words tend to do that—he’s been blessed with thick skin and an unbothered attitude to a fault, sometimes. But something about today, for some odd reason, hurts his feelings. 

Your words to the waiter who took your order keep ringing in his head. 

Oh goodness, no, we are definitely not dating!

Most people mistake you and Alhaitham for a pair of lovers rather than a pair of friends. It’s just the way things go when a man and a woman are seen together for extended periods of time over and over. It doesn’t help that Alhaitham doesn’t really have any friends. He had one before you, but…well, things are complicated now. Far too complicated to think about it more than necessary. He has you, and that’s enough. But the matter still stands that most people tend to assume that something blossoms between the two of you that isn’t just friendly. 

He was starting to think it was true himself, too. He knows it’s true from his end, at least. But you say those words with such a sure, definitive tone that it almost sounds like you’re offended by the notion of being seen as his girlfriend. And sure, he would be disappointed—he’s no liar—if you didn’t feel romantically for him, but he’d understand. It’s not something you can help. But you brush off the idea like it’s an anomaly of sorts in the universe for someone like you and someone like Alhaitham to be a couple. It hurts his feelings. More than it should. 

(He knows deep down, in the depths of his heart, that you don’t mean it that way. You never would. But irrationality is but one of many feelings that bloom when it comes to romance.)

Alhaitham knows from a young age he’s different than most kids his age. This fact doesn’t change as he gets older. He’s brighter than most of his peers—which is certainly saying something because Sumeru is a nation filled with enough sharp minds, it’s as though brilliance were the average trait. People don’t typically like Alhaitham (which is fine by him, he doesn’t like most of them, either. They mostly don’t meet his standards). The kids don’t play with him in the parks that Grandmother would leave him at while she shopped around at the market, and they don’t sit with him on his one and only day at the Akademiya when he is but an elementary scholar. It never bothered him. He preferred reading under the trees and self-learning at home, anyway. When he’s older and enrolled in the Akademiya full-time, they don’t prefer to partner with him for projects for any other reason than simply being guaranteed a good grade, and they don’t spare him a glance when they all converse in groups outside of class. He never cared for freeloaders, anyway—he only trusts himself for projects, and he is at the Akademiya to learn, not make friends. 

It’s not until he meets Kaveh does he consider the idea that friendships are meaningful enough to spare some effort into. But the end result of that only solidifies that he is best when in solitude. 

But then he meets you. Some part of Alhaitham knows very early on that you would never be just a friend to him. If it was friendship that he craved, he would have looked for it elsewhere before running into you. Something about you from the very beginning makes him yearn for things much deeper than that. Things that remind him of his parents. 

Friendship is fleeting. People at the Akademiya go their separate ways and meet new people. They fall out and have arguments. They grow up and grow apart and become different. But love blooms like the Kalpalata lotuses on a vine, timeless as time itself. It starts and never ends, one root stemming into more and more vines until they never stop growing.

Alhaitham has fallen in love with you. Logic tells him it’s only a recent development, but his heart has known this outcome would be brought about for a long, long time. And, in all truthfulness, your words have hurt his feelings. 

And yet, he still loves you through it. He thinks that even if you crushed his feelings with a cold, indifferent smile, he would still love you through it. 

A hand waves in front of his face, pulling him from his thoughts as you take a sip from your coffee. Puspa Cafe is not as busy at this hour, most people are in the middle of a work day, but Alhaitham is allowed to pick his lunch hour, and yours happens to be earlier than most.

“Sorry, I just have to ask—are…are you upset?” you ask gently, making him pause. 

Yes.

“No,” he says simply, “why would I be?”

“You seem upset.”

“I’m not.”

“You were fine up until…I don’t know, a few minutes ago. Is something on your mind?”

You know him so well, he thinks. How could you not see how perfect the two of you are together?

“I’m simply concerned about your sugar intake is all,” he eyes the cold, iced drink in your hands with more syrups than he deems necessary. You always have a penchant for choosing the sweetest drink off the menu, and Alhaitham will never understand how your teeth don’t rot.

“Well, that’s very funny,” you roll your eyes, “because I was just thinking about how low on vitamin D you must be—do you ever leave your study to see the sun?”

He spares you a soft chuckle at that, shaking his head before taking a sip of his own coffee—hot and black and with two spoons of sugar. Simple, like how he prefers. You make a face at his drink as he sets it down. 

“Have you ever thought about what you look for in a partner?” he asks suddenly, making you blink in shock for a moment. He flinches at his own forwardness just a tad. 

“Umm, I suppose a little here and there…why do you ask?”

“No reason,” he shrugs, “just curious what your type was, that’s all. You’re painfully single, so I figured your taste was rather distinct.”

“Rude,” you scoff, rolling your eyes enough that he thinks it’s safe to assume you’re not suspicious. “Are you here just to poke fun at my choices today?”

Alhaitham should not be asking you this. Not when the answer so clearly is going to hurt his already very bruised feelings. Of course, your type won’t be him. And, of course, he is going to mourn your answer the second you give it, which is his own fault considering he’s the one who asked. (He has to wonder, for a moment, if this constitutes as an undiscovered hidden kink of his and whether or not he really just gets off on some unnecessary pain. Why else would he willingly subject himself to this?)

But, he’s caught off guard when you shrug and simply say, “I suppose someone who’s intelligent. I’d appreciate some good discussions. And…and maybe someone who’s kind, y’know? I would be rather sad if they were mean,” you pretend to sniffle dramatically.

“That’s…that’s it?” He tilts his head in equal parts shock and equal parts confusion. 

“What did you expect me to look for in a partner?” You snort, “A three-story mansion? A rock-solid, chiseled chest to lay on?” 

“Well, no,” he rolls his eyes, “Maybe something a bit less generic to narrow down your pool, I suppose, but if that’s your bar, so be it. There are far too many men who are intelligent and kind, you know.”

“Yes, but none of them show me any signs of interest,” you pout, “I must be undesirable or something.”

I desire you, he wants to say. He can’t quite find the courage to get the words out, though—and as if the universe has it completely out for him, the same waiter from earlier who is responsible for asking you the question that kills Alhaitham’s mood for the day comes back with the bill. And something else, too. 

Something that kills his mood for the week. 

His jaw clenches a tad when you flush at the note scribbled on a napkin for you, eyeing your flustered reaction while you read over the words: I get off at eight if you’d like to find me. You stare for a moment before you murmur, “Well, look at that. A sign of interest—it must be the Dendro Archon’s divine power.”

“The Divine have no say over who you fall for,” he insists.

“You don’t know that,” you hum thoughtfully, “The God of Wisdom knows her people better than anyone else, you know. I’d like to think she knows when love is bound for two people.”

You fold the napkin carefully and keep it in your pocket, and Alhaitham fishes out his mora pouch with stiff fingers. He leaves a very shoddy tip on the table before he exits after you. 

────────────────────────

TWENTY THREE.

You wake up in his bed. 

It’s a foggy memory, but you know you fucked Alhaitham after more sips of wine than you can count and one flirty comment too many. It happened in a blur last night, and you can’t say you’re surprised that it finally happened at all. Alhaitham is a man just like any other, and mingling pleasure with friendship is a normal thing to do. Falling under him on his mattress is not something you never had daydreams of—but the truth of the matter is that your daydreams don’t just stop with the bed.

They end with a toothbrush beside his in the bathroom. A mug next to his in the kitchen. Your shoes kicked off along with his at the entrance of a home. Your laughter and his bouncing off of the walls. A ring, maybe. One on your hand and one on his. 

In your imagination, it starts with pleasure, but it ends with love.

Falling in love with Alhaitham is a peaceful ordeal. He’s dependable and inherently kind. Strong and impressively capable. Intelligent and objectively handsome. You’d bring him home to your mother and father, and they’d thank Lord Kusanali for smiling down upon their humble little family and their darling little daughter by sending such a divine man your way. 

You don’t think you can pinpoint when exactly it is you started to love this boy, but you know loving him became as simple as breathing. You never thought about it. Never learned to do it. Never questioned it, even. You inhale the scent of his spicy, woody cologne and exhale the warm breath of your affections stored in your lungs. He lives somewhere nestled so deep in your ribcage that you think you’d have to crack each of them one after the other before you could pry him out.

You love Alhaitham. You think you know everything there is to know about loving him. You think you’d do it right—better than anyone else. 

He only drinks his coffee when it’s piping hot, and his wine can never be one degree less than iced. He has dry hands, but he hates the feeling of lotion. He doesn’t like raw onions but he doesn’t mind them cooked. When the sun is in his eyes, he’s in a foul mood, but he enjoys napping under the warm rays, much like a cat. He laughs surprisingly boyishly from his belly if you manage to deliver a dry yet clever enough joke, and he clears his throat and gets a bit shy once he’s realized he’s let it out. He twirls his pen in his hand when he’s bored, and he only uses the kind with gel ink because they write smoother. 

You love Alhaitham. For you, it’s always been him. 

When you wake up to his bare, warm body next to yours, breathing peacefully with an arm thrown over your waist, you can’t help but selfishly wish he’d stay asleep all day. Just for a day. Just for the amount of time you get in between the sun’s departure and the moon’s arrival. Just so you can watch him exist in this moment where it’s you, him, and the liminal space between friends and lovers. Just so you can admire how beautiful he is without worrying about his eyes opening and the inevitable conversation of what you’re both doing is brought up. 

People (like Kaveh, or Dehya, or Tighnari, or…anyone) tend to insist that Alhaitham loves you. It’s obvious, they say, just as obvious as your love for him. You never believe it. It’s not because he’s bad at love or because you’re bad for him. You think he’d make a good lover—contrary to popular belief, you don’t think Alhaitham is uninterested in intimacy or affection. And you think you’d make a good girlfriend—unlike other people, you understand him and like what you see. 

But he doesn’t love you. That much is a fact you’ve long accepted. It’s not because you’re bad for him or because he’s incapable of feeling—but rather, it’s just that bitter, soul-crushing reality that you can’t help who you love and who you don’t. Alhaitham doesn’t love you—it’s not something either of you can really change. Because if he did, he’d waste no time. He’d get to the heart of the matter and quit dancing around the issue. 

It’s just the kind of guy that he is. 

So, because this is your first and likely last time seeing him this way, you slowly reach over and brush a few strands of messy, unruly bedhead from his forehead before cupping his cheek in your hand. His skin is soft and warm under your palm, much more delicate to the touch than you anticipated from how chiseled his features are. Your thumb gently brushes along the slant of his cheekbone, eyes softening at how he lets out a puff of air as he sleeps. 

“Morning,” he says hoarsely, eyes still closed and making you jolt in surprise. He lets out a quiet, sleepy chuckle that would make you melt if not for the way your heart still pounds from the shock. 

“You’re awake?”

“Mhm,” he hums, nodding before finally cracking an eye open. “For a while now.”

“Why pretend to sleep then, you creep?” You scoff, glaring at him as he sits up slightly and glances at you with a teasing glint in his eyes. No part of him seems to be shocked about you being nude in his bed. Or the fact that you’re even in his bed at all, nude or not. 

“You’re the creep if we’re being technical here. It’s undoubtedly a little on the creepy side to study someone with such careful touches while they sleep.”

“That’s your main concern…?” You stare at him—and for lack of better words, you’re dumbfounded. You and Alhaitham have been friends for two years and counting. You’ve never once crossed the line or even toed at it to step beyond the border of anything more. And, yet, here you are. In his bed. Completely nude. He was lying there and felt your delicate touch along his skin, felt you act like a lover and not a friend on a quiet, intimate morning when in fact, you both should be shamefully avoiding each other’s eyes in a moment that’s anything but intimate as you leave. 

He makes no move to ask you to leave or even question why you’re still here. You make no move to really leave—it’s not like you want to. 

“What should my main concern be, then?” he looks at you expectantly, like he really doesn’t know.

“Oh, I don’t know, Alhaitham—shouldn’t you be a little more panicked by the idea that I’ve trespassed into your bed and seen you…bare?”

“Well, to be fair, you didn’t trespass. I let you in—and also, to be fair, I saw the same for you, too, so we’re even.”

“You’re oddly calm about this,” you hiss. “This doesn’t bother you even a little? That things might change?”

He looks at you funny—like you’ve just told him a joke that hardly makes sense but makes him want to laugh anyway. “You’re too brilliant to be this dense,” he murmurs. “Maybe I’m quite open to the idea of change.”

You take offense to the first part enough to completely miss the second part of his statement. 

“I am not dense,” you huff, “I’m incredibly bright. I’ll have to send you my thesis sometime.”

“No need,” he responds through a low hum. He pulls you closer, flush against his chest. Bare skin on skin. Intimate skin, at that. You shiver for a moment as his warm, large hand wanders lower and lower before stopping just at the small of your back, rubbing slow circles at the dimple where your spine ends. “I’ve read it plenty of times. It was very insightful.”

“Well, in that case, you should know not to insult my intelligence—”

“If you don’t notice my affection for you, I’m afraid you might not be as observant as I initially thought.”

You pause. Your heart flutters. Then it feels like it decays. Your eyes widen a fraction. Then they feel like they need to be squeezed shut for fear of tears. You feel your fingers twitch to reach for him. And yet they stiffen in distrust. 

“I don’t know what you’re saying,” you whisper. Because you don’t.

You really fucking don’t. You thought you knew. His feelings and how to read them. His thoughts and how his mind works. Every little quirk of his and how he approaches every damn thing in this world. You thought you knew.

Now you feel like you don’t know much of anything, especially not what he means right in this moment. 

“You don’t?” He whispers, hand moving to grab your wrist and bring it to his cheek so his lips can brush along the delicate lines of your palm prints. (If he was brave, he’d tell you that his destiny and yours are written in those very lines. Maybe someday he’ll build the courage.)

“No,” you say through a shaky whisper. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I love you. Just like you love me.” He says it so plainly, that you almost feel like it's a dry, cruel joke. (You know him a little better than that, though, to know he’d never.)

“How do you know I love you?” you challenge just because it’s all you have left to cling to—easy, instant denial. 

He laughs. Soft. Quiet. Melodic. So fucking sweet. “I’m too smart to act dense,” Alhaitham teases. And then, for a moment, his eyes soften enough that they almost look vulnerable. “And only someone who loves me could deal with my… peculiarities. Though, I will admit, it took me quite a while to reach this conclusion. You made me work for it.”

“If you’ve known all along—” 

“Not all along,” he corrects, “like I said, it took me a while to come to this conclusion. But once I did, it was rather obvious.”

You scowl with a finger prodding into his chest, eyes misty with relief and the faintest traces of agitation, “Well, regardless, why haven’t you said something all this time? Obviously, I wasn’t as aware as you seem to be, so the least you could have done is spared me the pining and heartbreak of wondering if you’d ever look at me—”

“I wanted to make sure I could offer you a peaceful life first,” he says gently. You blink. He smiles, eyeing something in the distance—you don’t quite catch it, but you think it might be the old, worn-out stack of envelopes sitting on his desk. 

“What?”

“When you’re with me,” he whispers, leaning in so that his lips brush over yours, “I can lead a peaceful life. I wanted to make sure I could give you the same.”

“And what does that consist of?” you raise a brow. 

“Well,” he murmurs, pecking the corner of your mouth, “A stable job with a generous income, which I now have. A fixed schedule, which I have also negotiated. A proper home to house the both of us, which you are comfortably laying in. And…” he grabs your hand, bringing it to his chest where his heart is beating erratically, “A rock-solid, chiseled chest to lay on, which I have dedicatedly worked to add to my physique for you.”

“Haitham!” you squeal, shoving him away with a horrified shriek as he laughs with a wide grin. You don’t even know why he still remembers that comment to poke fun at it, but you suppose that is the tragedy of falling for a prodigious scholar. His mind is sharp. And so is his memory. “Enough!”

“Okay, okay,” he grins smugly. “I want us to lead a peaceful life.”

“There’s not a lot of peace I am counting on with you.”

“I will elect to ignore that statement,” he says dryly, “But that’s why I waited this long,” he buries his face into your neck, nose pressing into the skin as he inhales, “I’m afraid I can’t wait any longer, though. Won’t you accept my frugal attempt at a serene life with you?”

“Perhaps I can make do,” you fight back a stupid grin.

He smiles into your neck. You can feel it. You can practically see it. You hope you’ll grow old with it, too. 

“Then I suppose I’m forever indebted to your graciousness, my love.”

────────────────────────

TWENTY FOUR.

When Alhaitham was eight, Grandmother told him the story of how his parents had fallen in love. It was a typical love story, he thought at the time—nothing overly special or unique. A simple, sweet bond between two people who became friends and something more along the way.

What stood out were the letters. Not very much at first, but with time, he’d realized how special they were. 

Grandmother handed him the letters with a soft, melancholy look in her eyes that made him realize he hadn’t just lost his father and mother. She had lost her son and daughter-in-law. Alhaitham felt the absence of his parents often. It was hard not to at that age—he didn’t have a father to throw a ball to or tag along with to the market. He didn’t have a mother to hum him a melody or make his favorite dish for dinner. But Grandmother filled the gaps in those places well enough that even if his heart bled, not too much blood spilled between the cracks.

But he was no son. Not a proper one for her at her age, anyway. She raised him like he was her own, but she grew older every day, and he didn’t grow fast enough to keep up. He couldn’t take care of her in her old age the way his father would have. He couldn’t do much besides bring the vegetables for her to cut or set the table while she cooked. He couldn’t offer her the mora when she went to the market or carry too many of the heavy bags while they walked home. He couldn’t let her rest in her old age too much because, regardless of how mature and bright he was for his age, Alhaitham was just a child. Her child, nonetheless—Grandmother didn’t let him forget that fact. But a child.

When she died, he arranged the funeral alone. He didn’t cry throughout the whole ordeal. Her old colleagues from way back in her Akademiya days came, as did some of his parents’ old acquaintances. No one he knew too familiarly, though—no one who really mattered when they clasped his shoulder and told him to hang in there.

She was a good woman. He knew that already.

She was very intelligent. A very obvious fact.

She was exceptionally kind. A rather unsurprising observation.

She loved very deeply. Well. That one stung—as true as it might have been.

He remembers it so vividly still. How he had walked home alone after it all. How he had taken off his tie (a very poorly tied tie, at that—Grandmother had always helped him before) and silently entered his room.

It wasn’t until he had eyed his desk that finally, it all sank in. The notes—the ones his father had so carefully written his mother while they were still just starting to fall in love, sat there as if waiting for him. He read them one by one, just like he had so many times before. He didn’t realize he’d started crying until a rivulet of his sorrow landed from his cheek to the page, staining the paper a darker shade of heartache. 

Alone. 

That’s all Alhaitham had ever been since the tender age of four. At least, that’s what people had always thought—but he’d never felt the sorrow people tended to feel for him. Not having a father and mother was okay. Hard at times, but okay. Grandmother had been everything he needed. More than what he needed, in fact. 

Grandmother was everything. And she had left him just the same way his parents had. He’d cried that night—alone in a house that was nothing more than just a house. Not a home, not a place where he could return to and look forward to it. Not a place where love was waiting for him to shelter him as soon as he came back from the cruel, outside world.

Grandmother was gone. Mother and father had left so long ago. But they all had each other—in whatever world they’d crossed to, they’d had each other. 

He remembers it all so vividly still. How he’d read his father’s words, and for the first time in all his life, he’d craved it. What his parents had. 

To my love, my soul, my heart. I am yours, always. 

He wondered that night, through teary and blurry eyes, if love like that would ever find him. If he’d one day be able to call someone his love, soul, and heart.

He thinks now, as you laugh with your head tilted forward and a tweezer in hand while sitting on his lap, that he can. 

“Hold still, you,” comes your teasing remark, “you said this would be nothing. Now look at you.”

“You’re being too harsh,” he grumbles, pouting slightly. With a smile, you bend your neck down and press a soft kiss to his jutted lips, humming before pressing an extra one to the corner of his mouth for good measure. (And yes, the grand sage—acting, you can almost hear him correct in your own head—can pout. He is rather frequent at curling those lips of his in your presence when he wants something, in fact. Or when he is teased too much. Something about you brings about a side of him that is much less stoic and far more dramatized.)

“You can just admit it hurts, you know,” you say through an amused snort.

“It won’t hurt if you just do it right.”

“I’m an expert at tweezing eyebrows,” you huff, “I do mine all the time. And I would know that it hurts.”

“It can’t be that painful,” he clicks his teeth, “just be gentle.”

“I cannot gently pull out a hair from your follicle, Haitham—I don’t know what you want me to—hey!”

He grabs the tweezers from your hand and pulls you close, hugging you tight enough that his nose digs into your skin a bit as he buries it into your neck. It’s Saturday. His first out of two days off for the week—standard scribe work weeks are nine to five on weekdays, and he very much appreciates his weekends away from the bustling, lively Akademiya nonsense. 

Saturday happens to be your day off, too. 

“Where is Kaveh?” you ask quietly, playing with the hem of his shirt. He raises a brow, eyeing the suspicious movement of your fingers.

“Working with a client in Aaru Village. He won’t be back until tomorrow evening. Why am I not enough company for you?”

“Oh, be quiet,” you roll your eyes, and this time, your hands wander under his shirt, palms slowly dragging along his chiseled, planed abdomen while he shivers slightly under your touch. “I was just asking if…”

“If…?” he urges you to continue.

You know he knows. But, for the sake of indulging his smug, teasing little game, you huff and push his shirt up to expose his chest before murmuring, “If we would be interrupted or not. I don’t fancy such awkward run-ins with your roommate.”

“Our roommate,” he corrects, “this is your home, too.”

“Yes,” you smile, brushing your palms over his pectorals, watching as he stiffens when you graze along his nipples, “I suppose it is.”

“Well, he’s not here. And he won’t be, so kiss me,” he demands through a breathy whisper. You do. You kiss him instantly—because kissing Alhaitham is what you do best. When he’s happy, sad, angry, distressed, or just plain tired, kissing him is how you know him the most. When your breaths exchange and your life force and his mingle to become one, singular unit. 

You sigh into his mouth, letting his hands cradle your jaw and tilt your head to better meet his mouth, all while your hands still explore his upper half. He moans under your touch, cock springing to life slowly below you through his pants. You angle your hips forward, inching higher up his lap to drag your crotch along his and help the erection grow against the friction. 

“Fuck,” he hisses, hard and heavy between his legs in no time. 

“Haitham,” you breathe, feeling that familiar ache build between your own thighs. 

You kiss him like that for a bit. Messy, deep, sloppy, and so, so slow. With all the time in the world. Languid strokes of your tongue against his as he rolls his hips up from underneath you, dragging his clothed, bulging cock against your dripping cunt. The fabric separates you, rudely so, and it’s not long until you both grow tired of it. 

“Off,” you whine, tugging at his pants, “off, off, off!”

“So demanding,” he chuckles, pecking your nose sweetly before he lifts his hips, letting you slide off his sweatpants. “Satisfied?” 

“Yes,” you beam, “You always give me what I want. It’s my favorite thing about you.”

His gaze darkens at that—not for any other reason than it makes him so incredibly filled with lust when you speak to him like that. So spoiled and happy about it because it’s him. Him. You’re happy that it’s him. And he’s happy that it’s you. 

You don’t even bother undressing yourselves fully—he pulls down your own pants just enough to expose your pretty, leaking folds, and his hands wander under your shirt, where he almost short-circuits for a moment. Braless. Because you just love to drive him mad, he thinks. This much easy access to your soft, delicate breasts and the pert nipples that decorate them is enough to make him curse under his breath as his thumbs tease over them. 

“You’re a tease.”

“For simply existing?” you gasp, making him crack a small grin. 

“Yes,” he hums, “Your existence on its own teases me at all times. I’m afraid it drives me mad.”

You hum, reaching forward to gently take his hard, leaking cock into your hand and give a light, teasing squeeze. “Maybe my goal is to turn you completely into a lost cause.”

“Then,” he groans, throwing his head back against the couch cushions while he breathes harshly, “then you’re definitely succeeding. Is that what you wished to hear?”

“Yes,” you whisper, kissing his jaw, “It is, actually.”

It doesn’t take long at all before Alhaitham has tossed you back against the couch, laughing as you shriek at the sudden change of position. You glare at him, fighting back your own chorus of giggles as he moves to hover over you, kissing and biting playfully along your cheeks. 

“I love you,” he mumbles.

“Aw, so sweet,” you coo, “say that again.”

He rolls his eyes. His lips curl into the brightest grin at the same time. My love, my soul, my heart—the words are ingrained in his memory always. “I love you.”

“And I love you,” you whisper.

He leans in for a soft, slow kiss as the tip of his leaking cock slides against your folds, tapping against your clit before rubbing along your entrance. You gasp, shuddering against him, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him closer. 

“You know,” he murmurs, “I could get used to this.”

“Sex on the couch? We can do that any time—”

“A weekend with just the two of us,” he groans, dropping his head to your neck as you laugh loudly. Bright. Airy. A sound the wind carries to him in his subconscious. He hears you even when you’re not there—even when you aren’t around, he searches for you. 

“Oh,” you say playfully, “Yeah, I guess that’s nice too, isn’t it?”

“I’ll show you just how nice it’s about to be,” he hums. The tip of his thick, blunt head is pressed against your folds—you’re leaking just as much as he is. You slick, and his pre cum mix for a messy collision of arousal as he presses into you slowly, so carefully, you feel like you could break at any second with how he handles you. 

He’s patient. When Alhaitham fucks you, he’s patient enough that you feel like his other half and not his means of pleasure. Like he fucks you for you and not for himself. 

“More,” you insist, impatient as you add, “I can take it.”

“Patience is a virtue,” he clicks his teeth, “I want to take my time feeling you.”

And he does. He rolls his hips slowly. So slowly, you feel delirious. It’s a painful, gradual build-up of pleasure that has you trying to roll your hips into him to meet him halfway, a pathetic attempt when he’s on top of you to press his weight down on you to keep you in place. 

“Please, Haitham,” you whine, sweat shining across your sweet, pleasure-hazed face as he stares down at you, “Please more. I need it—need you. Need all of you.”

“You have all of me,” he groans, feeling the tight walls of your cunt squeeze around him, the squelching noise of his thick girth bullying into your folds in and out, in and out, in and out, driving him to the brink of insanity. “You’ve always had every piece of me.”

“I want more,” you hiss. 

He lets out a breathy laugh that turns into a soft moan. “If that’s what you want.”

The next thing you know, two strong, muscled arms are grabbing your thighs and bringing them around his torso to wrap around him, and his large hands grab your hips and pull, practically manhandling you deeper onto his cock. You shudder, letting out a shrill, high-pitched gasp as he intrudes further into your cunt, nudging the head of his cock against your sweetest of spots and making your body tremble. 

“Haitham,” you gasp, “Haitham, fuck—fuck, you feel so good. So deep—love when you fuck me like this.”

“Yeah?” he murmurs, kissing in between your pretty little scrunched-up eyebrows, “I love fucking you like this, too. When you take me so well, squeeze so tight, and let me feel you like the good girl you are.”

His words make your folds squeeze around him, and fuck—he’s close. So fucking close, the pad of his rough, callused thumb meets your clit as he rubs circles, trying to bring you to the edge before he goes plummeting himself. 

“‘M close—almost…almost there,” you pant.

“Me too, baby,” he groans. He slams into you, skin slapping against skin and the glistening sheen of it mixing your sweat together. His mouth parts with pretty, low sounds of his pleasure, and your face twists with the devastating rush of yours. 

Once. Twice. A third time, and you fall apart as he thrusts into you and presses the tip of his thick length against the spongey spot in the back of your walls. 

“Haitham,” you gasp, legs tightening around him as your nails press crescent shapes into his back. “Fuck, I’m c-cumming…oh, Gods.”

“Good,” he gasps, and with one last roll of his desperate hips, he spills into you, too. A thick, sticky, familiar rush of heat fills your cunt, ropes of cum painting you white within with every twitch of his aching cock. “Fuck—you feel so good. So perfect—you were made for me. Me.”

“You,” you whisper, breathless. 

You let him shudder over you, fingers running through his hair as he finishes releasing his load into you before he slumps his weight over your body. It’s a small couch—decorative more than functional. (All thanks to Kaveh, of course.) But you don’t particularly care when you’re under him. It feels right all the same. 

“We have the house to ourselves this weekend,” he reminds you after some time of catching your breaths. “So…so we can do this all you want.”

You giggle, rolling your eyes as you poke his forehead. “You’re obscene.”

“I’m romantic,” he corrects, “I just want to be with you and nothing else. Can’t blame a man when he’s been gifted such a beautiful sight before him.”

“And cheesy, too,” you huff. 

He smiles. My love, my soul, my heart. 

——————————

You wake up Monday morning to Alhaitham already gone—it’s rare that he’s ever up before you. He leaves the house just in time to make it to work exactly on the dot and not a moment sooner or a moment later. But, as is with any Akademiya position, there are quarterly meetings that even the scribe can’t avoid. You giggle at the image in your head of a grumpy Alhaitham carefully tiptoeing around the room as he miserably gets ready for an early morning of extra work, all while making sure he doesn’t wake you. 

You yawn, sitting up to start your morning for your own day of work ahead—but it catches your eye before you can fully rise from bed, making you pause. 

A note? No, you realize almost instantly. Not just a note—a letter:

To my love, my soul, my heart: Kalpalata lotuses will bloom soon. I forget how beautiful the world is sometimes, and I suppose it’s because I am always distracted by your beauty alone. Will you laugh as you read this? I suppose you might because even I must admit, it is a rather cliche thing to say. I can just picture your smile now, and I am certain I will have it memorized until my last breath. It’s easy to remember it so well when it’s all I see in my dreams. Have I told you how often I see you in them? It’s difficult to think that there was once a time in Sumeru when we did not dream. It seems like sleeping beside your body is no longer enough—your presence is required even in my slumber for me to truly be at peace.  Perhaps when the lotuses bloom, we can take a trip to the deeper parts of the rainforest to catch a glimpse of a few. They say the vines are blessed by The Lord herself. I was never one to seek out the divine, but perhaps with a gift as sacred as you, I should take the time to thank Lady Kusanali for granting such brilliance to take bloom in my presence. Only, the difference is that here with you, there are no cliffs to climb or seasons to await. You are mine to bloom, always—my precious, beautiful lotus.  Forever yours,  Haitham ♡

ITS DONE. HAPPY LATE BDAY TO MY FIRST AND LONGEST LOVE. YOU MEAN EVERYTHING AND MORE TO MEEEEE

[atlabeth]

unadulterated loathing (pt 2)

pt 1 / pt 3

pairing: fiyero tigelaar x fem reader

summary: you are forced to partner with fiyero on a history project. things don't go as you imagine.

a/n: sprinkling anthony bridgerton references in this because wreck my plans that's my man!! anyways this is actually going to be 3 parts because i have zero self control and ended up writing 15k words in total and im trying to see whether i like posting parts or doing one whole one shot more so there's going to be a third part. but for once in my writer life i have the whole thing written so it will be out in a couple days! have no idea how this fic became this long out of nowhere but i hope you all enjoy lol. stressed reader x calm bf will always be famous on this blog

wc: 4.9k

warning(s): almost cheating? fiyero is still w/ galinda for most of this so the line is very blurred but they dont cross it lmao. the slightest bit of angst but basically all fluff

“Isn’t this nice?” Fiyero spread his arms out as you took a seat in the grass. Idly, you wondered about getting grass stains out before he started talking again. “Fresh air, actual sunlight, and things to look at other than words on a page.”

“I do go outside,” you said wryly. “You act like I’m some hermit.”

He shrugged. “I only ever see you in class or at the library.”

“I’m just there most of the time,” you said with a slight laugh. “I’m not this smart by slacking off.”

Fiyero said your name with surprise. “Was that a joke?”

You laughed again. “Hardly.”

“I think it was,” he nodded. “You really are learning how to have fun.”

“I know how to have fun!” you exclaimed. “We just have different ideas of fun!”

“And what is your idea of fun?” Fiyero asked pointedly. “Studying? Attending class? Going through the intricacies of various languages?”

“That last one is very fun,” you defended. 

“How did you decide on linguistics anyways?” he asked. “You’re incredibly passionate about something I didn’t even know was a major here.”

“It’s not, technically.” You shrugged. “I’m a history major. I just convinced Doctor Dillamond to let me be his teacher’s assistant so I could include more linguistics lessons in the syllabus.”

“How do you do it?” he asked. “Oz— why do you do it? You’re stressed all the time. Surely taking one less class or not being a TA wouldn’t kill you. All of this seems like it is.” 

“I’m not like you, Fiyero,” you said. “I can’t get kicked out of a hundred schools and still be fine. I’ve got one chance, and if I squander it, then I’ve also squandered my dream. And that’s unacceptable to me.”

“There’s always second chances,” he said. “And third ones, too. Sometimes even fourth.” 

“Maybe for a prince,” you laughed. “But not for somebody like me.” 

“And just who are you?” Fiyero asked as he sat down next to you. “I know you’re Gillikinese and I know you’re probably going to succeed in whatever you attempt. But I still feel like I don’t know anything about who you are without the school uniform.” 

“Why does that matter?” you asked defensively. “We’re project partners, not friends.” 

“Because I’d very much like us to be friends,” he answered simply. 

That might have been the most shocking thing he’d said all day. Fiyero Tigelaar, Winkie prince and self-declared slacker and desired paramour of nearly every Shiz student, said he wanted to be your friend. 

Again, that warmth bloomed inside you. You tried to ignore it—tried to fully banish it. 

“Don’t do this,” you said, looking away from him. 

“Do what?”

“Act like you like me,” you said, stronger this time. “You— you do it with everyone, and that’s fine, but don’t do it with me.” 

“I’m not following,” Fiyero said. 

You glared at him. “I know you aren’t this daft.”

“Apologies,” he said. “I’m just trying to figure out how you figured I don’t genuinely like you.”

You blinked. “Because you’re you. You flirt with everybody so you can dance through life.”

“Of course,” Fiyero agreed. “It just so happens that I genuinely like you in addition.”

Your eyes narrowed. “Why?”

His laugh was nothing but shocked. “Are you asking me why I like you?”

“Well,” you glanced away with a huff, “when you put it like that it sounds ridiculous.” 

“I’ll bite anyways,” Fiyero said. “I like you because you know what you want. You never really stop talking about it, honestly.”

“Are you trying to compliment me?”

“You’re intelligent and driven and you don’t shy away from anything you want,” he continued. “And you thoroughly vex me in near every encounter we have, most joyously.”

“…So you like me because I’m stubborn and confusing,” you said. 

Fiyero sighed. “You‘ve got some serious self esteem issues.”

“I do not!” you exclaimed.

“You’ve tied your worth to your academic achievement,” he said. “You can’t see all the good you’ve already done, how smart you truly are, because you only stress about the next thing you need to do. You’d rather lose your mind over what’s to come than realize all you’ve got in the moment.”

Your mouth opened and closed for a good five seconds, like a fish out of water, before it snapped shut. 

“I thought you were supposed to be brainless,” you settled on. 

“I am,” Fiyero agreed with a chuckle. “But I also know people better than most, and our study sessions have given me ample time to study you.”

Great Oz, why was your face so hot? You felt like you were burning up from the inside out. Fiyero Tigelaar was killing you, and slowly at that. 

“Why are you studying me?” you asked pointedly. 

“Because you’re interesting,” he said. “And very beautiful.”

“Well, I’m— I’m glad we’ve finally reached a truce.” You tried to sound as casual as possible—you couldn’t let Fiyero know the full effect he was beginning to have on you. You didn’t think he would ever shut up about that, and Galinda certainly wouldn’t either. You didn’t want to make an enemy of her. “It’ll make this project much easier.”

“Yes,” Fiyero mused. “I believe it will.”

Amusement, and maybe something warmer, danced in his irises. A very small part of you wanted to let yourself fall, freely and uncaring, just as every other student did. 

You had to lock that part of you away, never to be seen again. You didn’t like Fiyero. He was still a nuisance in every single sense of the word. 

You swallowed, trying to cure your cottonmouth. Thankfully, he didn’t seem to notice. 

You needed to finish this essay immediately. 

-

You sighed when you heard a knock on your door. Coralie, for how smart she was, had a habit of forgetting her room key—so much so that you’d stopped bothering to lock the door on the days she went to class before you. 

“It’s unlocked, Cora!” you called out. You didn’t want to get up from your desk, not when you were in the middle of writing. You were worried that you would lose the thread of inspiration you’d finally caught the moment you got out of your chair. 

“You shouldn’t leave your door unlocked,” a familiar voice said. “All sorts of miscreants could get in.” 

Your hand slipped in your shock, but you couldn’t even be annoyed about smearing the fresh ink on the page or getting it on your shirt cuffs because you had more important things to worry about. Namely, your surprise visitor. 

“Fiyero?” 

“Present,” he affirmed as he leaned against your doorframe. “You’ve got a nice place here.”

“Thank you,” you said. “What are you doing here?” 

“Much less pink than Galinda’s,” he continued. “I think it’s the only color she owns, honestly. A bit absurd but—” 

“What are you doing here?” you repeated. 

“I should be asking you that question,” Fiyero said, eyes narrowing in on you. “I went to the library and you weren’t there.” 

You cleared your throat. “I was giving you the day off.” 

He frowned and stood up from the doorframe. “Who said I wanted the day off?” 

“You,” you said. “When you didn’t show up to Doctor Dillamond’s class today.” 

Fiyero brushed his hand through the air. “That’s different.” 

You looked at him expectantly. “So you skipped the class this project is for, but you don’t want to skip the actual project.” 

“That sounds about right, yes.” 

“You don’t even do anything whenever we’re together,” you said. “You just stare at me and complain about doing work and ask me about my life and take an hour to write one page of notes.” 

“That also sounds about right,” Fiyero said. “I enjoy your presence. Do you not enjoy mine?” 

If only he knew the way he’d been making you feel for the past week. He could never know that he appeared in your dream last night. 

“...Your presence is fine,” you said. “I just figured I would give you the day off, seeing as we only have one week left until it’s due.” 

“How much have you written already without me?” he asked. 

“Five pages, but that—” 

“You’ve nearly done half of the project without me?” Fiyero interrupted. 

“...Yes?” Why did you actually feel bad about this? 

Fiyero got closer so he could look over your shoulder at your work, and you found yourself holding your breath at his proximity. 

“Do you think you’re doing me a favor?” 

“Clearly,” you said. “The sooner it’s done, the sooner it’s over, and the sooner you don’t have to deal with me anymore.” You shrugged. “You said you wanted to ride my coattails anyways, so I figured I would make it easier for you.” 

“Just a few days ago you were chastising me for not doing my part,” Fiyero said. “Now you’re not even letting me try?” 

“I—” the words stuck in your throat, and again you felt your face heat. 

I don’t want to have to think about any of this more than I have to because I’m worried what I’ll realize. 

I don’t want to give you any more chances to take me off course because I know I’ll say yes. 

I don’t want to be around you longer than I have to because I think I’m starting to like you. 

“Yes?” 

“I am doing you a favor,” you finally decided. “You don’t have to worry about it. Go ride that horse of yours, or bother other students, or spend time with Galinda. You’ve earned it.” 

“Hardly,” Fiyero said. “I’m doing my part, whether you like it or not. We’ll meet at the library tomorrow morning before class like we’ve been doing.” 

“I have class at 8 in the morning tomorrow.” 

“...Then we’ll do it after class,” he reneged. “I do need my beauty sleep.” 

That got a smile out of you, which spurned one from Fiyero in turn. “I think that is one of the only genuine smiles you’ve given me since we started working together.” 

“I smile plenty,” you insisted. 

“At your books,” Fiyero said. “Not at me.” 

“That’s because my books are oh-so-beautiful,” you said. “And they don’t even need beauty sleep.”

He placed his hand on his heart. “You wound me.” 

Your smile grew and you set your pen down. “The library after class?” 

Fiyero nodded and tapped on your desk as he stood up. “Library after class.” 

He was about to go to the door when Coralie poked her head in. “Why is the door— oh! Fiyero!” She straightened up, plastering on a pretty smile as she stepped inside. “What brings you to our corner of Shiz?” 

“Doctor Dillamond’s midterm,” he said. “Your roommate here is trying to save all of the fun for herself.” 

“That sounds like her,” Cora nodded sagely. “You’re very good to try and keep her from that fate.”

Fiyero pressed his hand to his chest. “I consider it my duty. But I apologize for the intrusion—I’ll leave the two of you be.”

“Oh, stay as long as you want,” she spoke up. “I’m sure your partner wouldn’t mind.”

“He’s got things to do,” you interceded. “You’ve got things to do, Fiyero.”

He smiled knowingly. “I certainly do. You lovely ladies have a fine rest of your day.” He looked at you and said your name. “Don’t forget tomorrow.”

“How could I?” you said weakly. 

Fiyero chuckled and bowed his head in lieu of more parting words. The second he left, Cora turned to you with wide eyes. 

“Don’t,” you warned. 

“He came here to talk to you!” she exclaimed. “He found out your room number because he wanted to talk to you!” 

“Be quiet!” you exclaimed. “The door is still open—he can probably hear your screeching!”

Coralie shut the door and squealed. “He likes you!”

“We are project partners,” you enunciated. “Nothing more.” 

“Oh, I’m sure that’s what you think,” she said. “Just like I’m sure that he wants to be more.” 

“You’re acting like he isn’t with Galinda,” you said. “She controls this whole school—do you remember what happened to Elphaba when she didn’t like her?” 

Cora shrugged. “Sure. But I’ve been hearing there’s trouble in paradise.” 

That got you paying attention. “What?” 

“I knew it!” Coralie exclaimed—nearly yelled, honestly. “I knew you liked him!” 

“Be quiet!” you whisper-yelled. “Oz, what is wrong with you?” 

“I knew you liked him!” she repeated. “And he likes you— oh, it is too perfect!” 

“He does not like me,” you insisted, “and you are crazy.” 

“You didn’t say that you didn’t like him,” Coralie sung, and you screwed your eyes shut. 

“Fine!” you finally said. “Fine— I like him. Will you stop now?”

“Of course not,” she said, and you sighed. “How bad do you have it?”

“I don’t have it bad,” you scoffed. “I just— I enjoy spending time with him. And I think he’s kind of cute.” 

“Oh, you are full on head over heels,” she mused. “You just don’t know it. It’s okay.” 

You groaned as you buried your head in your hands. “I hate you.” 

She laughed. “And you like Fiyero.” 

“Shut up.” Your words were muffled, but you meant them all the same. 

You were comically doomed. 

-

The next day went… shockingly smooth. 

Fiyero was in the library when he said he’d be—he was even there before you, much to your surprise and he still had the notebook and pen you’d given him, much to his surprise. He made sure to bring an extra canteen of water for you, because he noticed you never had any with you. You were probably concerningly dehydrated. 

He tried to be a more attentive student to you than he’d ever been at any of his classes—not that that was difficult. You explained your outline and all the work you’d already done, what he could do on the last five pages and how to make his writing voice match yours to make a consistent paper. 

He wrote notes both on what you knew about Ilara Mayfair (a ridiculous amount, in his opinion) and anything else you thought he needed to know (also a ridiculous amount).

He was impressed most of all, though. No wonder you’d isolated yourself from near the entire student body and stressed over every letter in every sentence in every assignment. You were incredibly intelligent, but you were also able to explain everything in a way that even he understood. Fiyero had never really cared about… well, anything relating to school before he ended up partners with you. 

But now, Fiyero found himself surprisingly entranced by it all. He’d always liked your voice, and he had a permanent smile on his lips watching you talk so easily about your passions. It put a spark in your eye and a brightness about you that was usually bogged down by everything else that you stressed about. 

You were beautiful, especially when you were happy. And Fiyero had discovered over the past week that you were happiest when you got to talk about what you cared about to an interested audience. He only regretted acting like he wasn’t interested for so long. 

Finally, when Fiyero called a break on account of his hands aching (he’d never written this much in his life, and it still was only half of what you did basically every day), and you were eating an apple (that he also brought, because you really didn’t take care of yourself when you were doing work, which was always), he smiled at you. 

“You know, we really do make a good team,” Fiyero said. 

You swallowed the bite of apple you had in your mouth and cocked your head as you looked at him. “You think?” 

“I know,” he nodded. “You’ve done the impossible, darling. You’ve actually made me care about school.” 

“Well, I think you’ve done the impossible too.” You lifted the apple up. “You made me care about my health during midterms season.” 

“It certainly wasn’t easy,” he said wryly. “You kind of took it all kicking and screaming.”

You shrugged. “I’m not top of our class for nothing.” 

“Do you have to stress yourself into misery to be top of the class?” he asked. 

“I’m not miserable,” you retorted. 

It was when you said things like that that Fiyero really began to worry about you. It was part of the reason he was so intent on staying by your side through this whole project—no matter how dull he found the material—after the first session. He sometimes saw you around campus, usually carrying a stack of books or talking with your roommate.

After Fiyero was paired with you, he wondered why he didn’t see you more before it all, considering how active you were with literally everything school-wise. Then he realized you were likely always in the library, and the only time he’d visited the library was on Galinda’s tour. You were there, well enough, but you took your leave as soon as things started getting rowdy. 

A shame, he realized. He wondered what your relationship could have been had Galinda not staked her claim on him so soon. 

You weren’t going to take care of yourself, clearly enough, so Fiyero decided—at least for the duration of this project—that he would. It didn’t really matter if you were top of the class if you passed out from stress, exhaustion, annoyance, or a mix of all three. Likely a mix of all three. 

He didn’t really anticipate those feelings morphing into genuine affection. 

“I seem to recall you saying you dream of your future assignments,” Fiyero said, coming out of his thoughts. “That doesn’t sound like the habit of a happy person.”

“Oh, please,” you scoffed. “Everybody has stress dreams.” 

“You know, I really don’t think they do,” Fiyero said. 

You rolled your eyes as you picked your pen up with your free hand and jotted down a few more sentences. “Sure.”

“On that note,” he said, “why don’t we call it a day?”

“We can’t call it a day,” you said. You took another bite from your apple and swallowed, continuing to write all the while without looking at him. “We’re not finished yet.”

“That is the most casually you’ve said that so far,” Fiyero mused. “I really am making progress.”

You laughed, finally paying him mind. “Progress with what?”

“I’ve been tracking your smiles and laughs this whole time,” he said. “See, this essay was your project, but that was mine—trying to make you enjoy your life.”

“This essay is both of our projects, Fiyero,” you said. “Besides, I don’t think Doctor Dillamond will accept your bar graph of all the times I laughed at you making a fool of yourself.” You frowned. “Or would it be a line graph because it’s over time? Or maybe it could be—”

“Alright,” he interrupted. “You’re going into hypotheticals on my joke. That’s clearly the sign that we need to call it a day.”

“…Fine,” you reneged. “But it’s just a break, not calling it a day. And I get to finish proofreading the rest of the essay when we get back.”

“A compromise,” Fiyero said. “Love it.”

You rolled your eyes as you started gathering your things. “You love everything.” 

“Eh,” he tilted his head, and you felt his eyes on you. “Most things.” 

You couldn’t help your smile, much as you tried to bite it back. “Whatever.” 

Soon enough, you and Fiyero were sitting together by the dock. You let your legs dangle over as you watched the scenery around campus—the ripple of the water, the gentle brush of the wind, the chirping birds that flew around without a care.

“Isn’t this nice?” Fiyero asked. He also had his legs over the edge, but he’d laid down against the stone. 

“You don’t have to push your relaxation propaganda so hard anymore,” you said wryly. “I’m here, aren’t I?” 

“And I’m grateful for it,” he said. “Someone that works as hard as you do deserves to relax the same amount.” 

“We’ve gone over this a thousand times—”

“I know,” he interrupted. He turned his head to smile at you. “I just have to hope that some of it sticks.” 

You rolled your eyes, once again unable to hide your smile. “And I have to hope for the same with this paper. Do you think you’ll remember any of this once we turn it in?”

“Oh, but of course. You were the one to teach it to me, after all. I could hardly forget it all.” 

“Good,” you said. “Everyone should know about Ilara Mayfair.” 

Fiyero chuckled, and you once again fell into comfortable silence. 

That was the thing that shocked you the most, you think. Not that you were beginning to like Fiyero, or that you actually liked Fiyero, or that you actually looked forward to spending time with him. It was that you were so comfortable just sitting with him in silence. 

It was very difficult to get to the silence, though. Fiyero couldn’t really stay quiet, and you didn’t know if he liked talking or the sound of his own voice. But you found it didn’t really annoy you like it used to. 

Great Oz. You really were into him. How embarrassing. 

Eventually, when the strain in your wrists and fingers from writing had finally faded, you turned your head to look at Fiyero. “I think it’s time we go back.”

He sighed. “Already?” 

“It’s been fifteen minutes,” you said. “Far longer than the breaks I usually take.” 

He opened his mouth, likely to say something of the same ‘you need to relax’ ilk, but you held up your hand. “Don’t. Just be thankful you got me away for this long.” 

Fiyero smiled, and he pulled himself up off the ground. “I always am.” 

He held his hand out, and you stared at him for a moment. “Why do you always do that?” 

“Help you up?” 

You nodded. “I can do it myself.” 

He shrugged. “I told you it was my project to make your life easier.” 

“You said it was your project to track my happiness,” you said. 

“And they go hand in hand,” he said. “I’m surprised you remember.” 

“It happened thirty minutes ago, Fiyero,” you said wryly. “Besides, I remember everything. It’s a gift.” 

Fiyero laughed, and you finally took his hand. He pulled you up and once again, you tumbled a bit too close—and again, his hand fell to your waist. He had to be doing this on purpose by now. 

“We keep finding ourselves in this position,” Fiyero mused. 

Heat flooded your cheeks like usual. “And whose fault is that?” 

“Well,” he said, tilting his head, “you’re not exactly pulling away.” 

Your mouth opened, trying to think of what words to say when your head was reeling from his mere presence. But then you saw a flash of pink in the background, and your eyes darted away from Fiyero. 

Galinda. She was distracted, talking with Pfannee and Shenshen as she went down the stairs. Oz, how did she slip your mind so easily whenever Fiyero was in your proximity? Why did you let him get this close when he was spoken for? 

You panicked—nothing less. You tore out of Fiyero’s grasp with a bit too much gumption, and then you stumbled, then you slipped, and then you fell. Fiyero called your name in shock, reaching his hand out, but it was too late. You’d plunged into the water before you could save yourself. 

The cold water instantly shocked all your senses, your eyes widening as you gasped out on instinct. Your mouth filled with water and your muscles seized up from the change in temperature—it was so much deeper than you’d imagined, and all your layers of clothing weighing you down were of no use. 

You tried your damnedest to ignore the alarm bells going off in your head as you fought against yourself, finally gathering the sense to swim. You kicked your way up to the top, gasping for air once when you breached the surface. 

You heard Fiyero yell your name again and you blinked rapidly, trying to clear the water from your eyes. When everything finally came into focus, you saw him on his knees, his coat shed and his sleeves rolled up. 

His eyes were wide as he reached his hand out, once again saying your name—this time with a certain desperation. “Are you alright?”

You tried to respond but all you could do was cough, trying to expel the water from your lungs. You took his hand and he helped pull you up onto the dock, where an exhale shuddered out of you.

“I— I am so sorry,” he stammered. It was the first time you’d ever seen him flustered, and you were too busy hacking up a lung to point it out. “Obviously I didn’t think—”

You held up your hand in lieu of saying something, as you didn’t think you could say something. 

This was so stupid, and it was something that never would have happened before you and Fiyero started working together. Your paper was due in two days, you’d only just finished the draft, you still had so much proofreading and rewriting to do, and instead, you were here on the docks soaked to the bone. 

And you found yourself laughing. 

“Oh, Oz,” Fiyero said. “You’ve lost it.” 

You couldn’t refute it, because you kept laughing. You could feel the eyes of your classmates on you, could hear them whispering to each other—likely making fun of you—and it only made you laugh harder. 

“Are—” Fiyero chuckled nervously as he said your name, “are you okay?” 

“I’m soaked,” you got out through your laughs. “And everyone saw me fall into the water. I’m a fool, Fiyero!” 

He was still staring at you in that careful way, as if you were made of glass. “I can’t tell if you’re mad or not.” 

“Oh, Fiyero.” You wiped the trailing water off of your face and wrapped your arms around him. You felt him freeze beneath you for the slightest moment—it had to have been the last thing he expected you to do. “Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome.” Fiyero returned the hug, his movements still unsure. He didn’t seem to care that you were getting him wet, just about your wellbeing. “What— what for, exactly?” 

For a moment, you couldn’t look away. His blue eyes were meant to enrapture, his soft lips typically an invitation sealed with a smirk. But for once, Fiyero looked genuine—he wasn’t putting on a performance, or trying to seduce anyone who looked at him. He was genuinely sorry, genuinely confused. It only made you laugh again.

“What for, indeed.” A higher voice pierced through the air, and you separated from Fiyero immediately. Galinda, to no surprise, had found her way over to the chaos you’d created, her compatriots flanking her on either side. She smiled at you brightly, but her whole demeanor was like a violin string pulled taut. 

“Galinda,” Fiyero said. “Lovely to see you.” He didn’t seem half as shocked as you at her appearance, but his words fell flat. 

“And you as well, dearest.” Her smile turned sickly sweet as she shifted her attention to Fiyero momentarily, taking the opportunity to lace her fingers with his and pull him into a kiss. He pulled away first, but if it affected Galinda, she didn’t let it show when she looked back at you. She batted her eyelashes as she said your name incorrectly. “What was it you were saying?” 

The sudden combination of cottonmouth and sour guilt creeping up your throat didn’t really help your already flustered state. She knew what she was doing—but you did too, didn’t you? 

She was with Fiyero. You knew that. And though Fiyero danced across the line, you took his hand every time he offered. 

“I—” you cleared your throat, attempting a casual smile of your own. “Just that I know why Doctor Dillamond put us together.”

“Excellent,” Fiyero said. “Off-topic, but excellent— are you sure you didn’t hit your head down there?” 

“Perhaps you should go to the nurse,” Galinda said. “I’m sure Shenshen could—” 

“I’ll be fine,” you interrupted, your smile tightening ever so slightly. You looked at Fiyero. “Meet me at the library tonight, and bring coffee. We’re finishing this project tonight. 

“Of course,” he nodded.  

You nodded as well, and you started to go. Galinda’s gaze was sugary sweet poison, and you couldn’t take the weight of it anymore. 

“Wait,” Fiyero spoke up. 

You stopped against your better judgment, and he let go of Galinda’s hand to take his jacket off. He moved closer to you and wrapped it around you. His touch, light but certain, lingered on your shoulders once he’d finished adjusting it, and his gaze stayed on yours 

“Until you can change,” he said. 

“...Thank you,” you said. 

Galinda cleared her throat extremely loudly, her taut smile back. You remembered yourself and stepped away from Fiyero. 

“I’ll see you tonight,” you said, already starting on your way. You wouldn’t let him stop you again. 

“Tonight,” he agreed, bowing his head in parting. 

You only glanced back once you were by the stairs. When you did, you saw Galinda speaking rapidly to Fiyero—you were too far away to hear anything, but she didn’t look happy. When your gaze drifted to him, you found he was already looking at you. Almost subconsciously, you tugged his jacket tighter around you. When you realized what you were doing, you stopped. You averted your eyes immediately and hurried up the stairs. 

You weren’t out of breath from exertion. 

[ozzgin]

Request/Idea-

Male Yandere Lawyer x Female Embroider Reader (a lady who works as a tailor is fine too)

Imagine a man falling head over heels for that newly employed lady who hand embroiders beautiful handkerchiefs in a luxury shop he visits to get his custom suits! And he just trying to coax her into dating him, marrying him, and becoming his stay at home wife (and mother of his children eventually) 🥰🤭

Age difference? I need some DILF Daddy energy more in my life (but don’t make him an actual father…yet)

P.S. I adore your OCs and writing. And your artwork is way too fucking good! You’re art is just *chef’s kiss* infuckingcredible

-👘

Ooh, you know what this reminds me of? I have a yaoi volume from Scarlet Beriko, “Queen and the tailor”, about an interior designer that visits a legendary tailor whose suits will supposedly help you achieve success. The tailor turns out to be a scary looking, blunt man but nonetheless extremely talented. I liked the premise a lot, so it’s definitely interesting to try out a different perspective.

In this case I have the image of a patient, soft-spoken reader and a hurried, short tempered lawyer. Comically different but in a way that eventually works out, you know? Also thank you for the kind words!

Yandere!Lawyer x Embroiderer!Reader Headcanons

Featuring a Reader that is blissfully unaware the lawyer she just stared dating has their entire life together already sorted out.

Content: female reader, age gap, older yandere, obsessive behavior

Your eyes begin to hurt mildly, so you look out the window and blink repeatedly, trying to refresh your poor sight. Such detailed works always strain you terribly, but you love seeing the finished result. Others must, too, given your handkerchiefs are often sold out the very same day. Right before your needle pierces the silk canvas anew, the door opens with a burst and you jolt. An older man in a suit, arguing loudly over the phone. He’s drumming his fingers over the counter, eyes darting around in search for an attendant. You know the type quite well, so you hurry over with the hoop still in your hand. “Might I help you with anything?” You mouth discreetly. He turns to you, stares for a couple of seconds, and promptly ends his call.

Out of all the places, he certainly didn’t expect regretting his rusty, unpolished flirting skills in a luxury tailor shop. Yet here he is now, clumsily mumbling something about his new suit he’s come to pick up and wondering how to connect that with your number. The name’s the easy part, as it’s neatly and conveniently printed out on the little badge pinned to your collar. Everything else, not so much. You excuse yourself and return moments later with his order. Shit. You tilt your head, confused by the delayed response, worrying whether you forgot something. Next time. He’ll figure it out for sure next time he comes here.

If there’s one good thing about his career, it’s that his eyes have been trained to spot every detail. For example the embroidery hoop you gently held while speaking to him, so he knows exactly what his next custom order will be. Truth be told, he didn’t anticipate your popularity and long waiting times, but a calculated raised tone with a sprinkle of intimidation has convinced the employee to assign him to you as earliest priority. Whether he can flirt remains to be seen, but arguing with others? Child’s play.

“Thank you for coming again today.” You bow slightly and extend the gift bag. “Although, I must say…I’ve never seen you using these before. What has caused your sudden interest in handkerchiefs?” Rather bold of you to begin such conversations, but your curiosity is too great. No matter how hard you try, you can’t imagine why a blunt, nonchalant man like him would abruptly become passionate about embroidery. A lover? You smile faintly at the idea. Whoever it is, they’ve taken quite the challenge upon themselves. The lawyer frowns at the inquiry. It seems you’re just as observant as him. Maybe this shall be the pretext he can finally cling onto. So he presents it in the factual truth you’d hear in a courthouse: it’s his excuse to see you. You raise your eyebrows in surprise. Well now, isn’t it just silly? He could’ve simply asked. Buying countless expensive handmade items instead of plainly confessing his intentions…He stumbles, flustered. The same man whose ruthless reputation has even reached your humble ears is anxiously awaiting your response with a deep blush on his face.

The childlike innocence doesn’t last long. You’ve agreed to date him and that’s great, but he’s a man with little time that has known exactly what he wants for many years. When he laid his eyes on you he didn’t imagine cheesy coffee dates as you discuss your favorite color and cautiously breach the topic of intimacy. What’s the point? He’s already certain he’ll spend the rest of his life with you. Skip the unnecessary steps. On the other hand, you’re not as cooperative as he’d wish. Truly, the tangible proof that opposites attract. You’re always calm and take your time with everything. It’s almost frustrating how easygoing you are. When asked when you’re moving in with him, you just smiled and wondered out loud what could be wrong with your small studio above the shop. Marriage? Good question, you never thought about it.

Oh, the irony. Last time a client was being particularly difficult, your lawyer boyfriend pulled him out by the collar under the mortified stares of the other attendants and shoppers. The exact attitude he himself would’ve shown before, yet this time it’s different. Of course it is, it involves you. His thin patience runs out if it’s you. That’s all there is to it. Can you blame a man for following his heart? They say you should always chase your dreams; he prefers hunting them down efficiently, and the shotgun is pointed in your direction. His sweet, exquisite prey he can never get enough of.

Finally you agree to move in with him. Your hesitation was maddening and he’d started coming up with downright psychotic alternatives to convince you, such as your studio burning down after a vicious attack of some unknown hooligans. So it was rather wise of you not to push someone that knows the law like the back of his hand, even if you aren’t aware of it yet. He enthusiastically guides you around your new forever home, omitting unimportant details. The spare office he emptied for a future nursery? You’ll get to that later.

He can’t wait to spoil you. See, that’s the advantage of dating an older man. He’s gotten his life sorted out a long time ago. All that was left was finding you. You just need to be a darling and behave. He knows you will. After all, you’re his talented little embroideress that won’t have to worry about anything else ever again.

[fishnapple]

What attractive about you

This is a general reading meant for multiple people. Take only what resonates and leave out the rest.

Your feedback is much appreciated. If you find the reading resonated with you, leave a comment, I’d love to know 🎐

About me | Masterpost Book a reading with me - KO-FI (→ personal reading)

AVENTURINE 

You have an emotional intensity that can elicit fear and awe at the same time. Some people might be too intimidated by you, not because you're loud and aggressive, but they're intimidated by the emotional storms that are brewing in you, yet you appear utterly calm, like the eye of the storm. They would wonder what it would be like to get dragged into it, to be swept off their feet. Your bravery and serenity are like wings that let you soar high or plunge down to any depth. You are a dichotomy of light and darkness. Like a solar eclipse or bright starry night.

I think you have a certain inclination or feel a pull towards the painful and ugly sides of humans. You want to stare them in the eyes, crush them, rise above them, conquer them. It's very daring and methodological at the same time. People would feel that they can be an utter mess in front of you, you won't shoo away the ugliness of their heart, but you hold it in your hands and transform it. They know that you're not invincible, that you have wounds just like everybody else. But you always look up, beyond any prison that humans subject themselves to. Many people would have their lives changed by you, just by being in your life.

But you're not just intensity alone, you also carry lightness. You can be cut throat and ruthless in one setting, but generous and merry in another. Your mind is full of magical stories, fairy tales that span far into the future. You keep your daydreams to yourself and only reveal them at the most unexpected moment. Render every witness speechless and in awe. That rare moment of tenderness will haunt people's minds, making them seek for more. Your silence acts as a backdrop for the twinkle in your eyes. Your apparent simplicity in the way of life is the sign of devotion to only things that are meaningful. 

ROSE QUARTZ 

This might sound weird but it's your nervous energy, when you're worried or anxious about something, when you're being fussy. This seems oddly adorable or cute to some people. You might be a worrywart, who tends to speak a little faster when you're nervous. This rouses the desire to calm you down in other people. 

Your calm state is also very attractive because you're being present, you know how to enjoy the small things, to appreciate the sensory pleasure of the five senses. When you're worried, you can forget about this energy for a while, but once you've calmed down and regained your serenity, you're very soothing. Like a lake regaining its smooth shining surface after being disturbed by the rain. With your appreciation for the five senses, you have a talent for handcrafts, anything that requires the skills of hands and good eyes for aesthetics. When you're set about organising something, you do it with great efficiency and tact that one can't help but exclaim 'flawless'. Maybe that's why you're prone to nervousness, because you're such a perfectionist and people around you love that energy so much.

When you speak, you deliver a message, not empty words that can be ignored. When you're passionate about something, you can be very fluent and persuasive, like a wise teacher. The things you choose to pursue might seem too daring or shocking to some, but you're steadfast in your track and unknowingly get a few followers along the way.

RED JASPER

Right away, people can see your ambitions, to go far in life. This group is quite masculine in energy, very lively and energetic. A lot of people would find you very attractive when you assert your will, when you go after what you want without any fear or reservation, like a warrior, a pioneer. But you're no fool, you don't charge forward blindly, there's strategy in your moves, like a hunter. When it translates to romantic situations, they wonder what it would be like to be pursued by you, to be the target of your desire. Only the brave can rise up to meet your challenge. So I think you also attract masculine people. Those who are equally strong and ambitious. 

You're also very attractive when you're protecting something or someone. When you show your compassionate side, for a cause, a greater goal. You show your support by concrete actions that get results, not just comforting gestures. You have a fierce love for the underdog, the weak, the unfortunate. 

Your vision of a better world can be your greatest motivator. You live your life with idealistic visions, but you don't just dream, you also do. Your appeal is the power you wield, over yourself and your surroundings. You're willing to work hard, as long as you deem it necessary. Maybe you're a touch workaholic, but you work towards a goal, not just a mindless grind. The sense of direction is very clear. If you believe in past lives, you can say that in the past, you were a soft, passive person who relied on others for support. But in this present, you're your own power, your own supporter. This independent energy is very attractive.

A little random thing, you might have a favourite comfort food that others find very endearing. It adds a touch of softness and joyful air to your otherwise strong energy.

TIGER'S EYE

You're the kind of person who people would want to have in any community. You can be a people magnet without realising it, without any conscious effort, maybe the only conscious effort that you have is to be yourself, to live life authentically. You attract people simply by being yourself. Your light is very visible, the natural confidence is vibrating through the air.

You're disciplined and responsible, but you're also gentle and kind. You're confident, but you also encourage the same attitude in people. People can feel that you would make a good parent, a good friend, a good neighbour. You're caring and want to protect and help people, but you do it with practicality. You don't just offer empty words, you back them up with actions. Being with you is both safe and inspiring. You inspire others to take more care of themselves, to stand up for themselves, you help people become more independent and come into their own powers. All these just through you chasing your own path. You have a strong sense of purpose, the person you believe in the most is yourself, and that makes people want to believe in you too, even when you haven't achieved your dreams yet. 

Talking with you is never boring. You can tell the most silly jokes, you can recount the most bizarre adventures, you can recite the most romantic poem or muse some really intense thoughts that surprise people. But you're also an avid listener, you listen with intensity, with childlike curiosity, you can even weep along the story, feel the pain and happiness behind every word. You make people feel heard and give them the compassion that is rare to find.

[shrenvents]

Hi love, you have an amazing imagination, and I love your writing style. I was wondering if you could maybe do some more with Wolverine. I'm in that x men stage again. And I loved you last piece of work on him. Maybe you could do a continuation of it or think of something completely new. Anyway, dont feel pressured ❤️

A/N: ur actually so sweet, thank uu! I'm also rlly shocked but appreciative of all the love Professor Howlett received, so u don't even have to ask twice for more, it's my pleasure ;)

Divided Attention

Professor Howlett II

Part one

Warnings: minors dni, Smut, fluff, language, jealousy, (legal) age gap, oral, f!receiving, semi-public

Pairing: Logan x Student (Mutant) reader

Summary: Things were going well with you and Logan, until he suddenly put distance between you both, acting strangely. On top of that, you catch him threatening one of your fellow classmates and have no choice, but to face your issues, head-on.

Word count: 2.6k

…

Any small moment together, Logan and I chased. The little highs we could derive from our busy schedules, we eagerly pursued.

From a quickie in the janitor's closet, a make-out session after class, or a passionate sleepover, Logan consumed every inch of my life. He was consuming every bit of my mind, and an ominous trepidation was closing in, alongside him.

The more I saw him, the greedier I became. Desperate to see and feel more of him, beyond the surface. So, it was no surprise, that I soon desired something more from our casual relationship.

With graduation just around the corner, I was almost home free. Free to outwardly tell him what I yearned for.

But the concern that racked my brain constantly, that trepidation, was whether he wanted the same.

As I was getting to know him, it was clear there were parts of him I had yet to discover, parts he seemed reluctant to reveal. Sometimes he would be open, close by my side. The next second, he would shut down.

What made matters worse, was that recently, he hadn't sought me out. It's felt as though he's no longer hungry for those small moments, that I still very much craved.

Now I'm on edge and have no clue what he's thinking, or what he thinks of us.

...

The day started like any other. I went to each class, exhausted and disinterested, till that afternoon. Something caught my eye, and the eyes of the school's populace: Logan pinning a male student to the wall of the vast, oak wood hallway.

They speak in hushed tones to one another, and the boy looks beyond frightened, while Logan looks ready to tear his head from his scrawny neck.

It takes only a moment for my alarm to pass, and for me to note, that this boy sits next to me in history.

A sharp intake of breath hitches in my throat.

His name's Mikey, and he has been a nuisance to Logan from the get-go, long before our intimate affair. Labelled as the class clown, Mikey uses his obnoxious voice and meddling powers to disturb Logan's lessons, daily. To top it off, Mikey consistently bothers me, mimicking what I say, and staring at my profile, for far too long.

Just when Logan dips his head closer to Mikey, perhaps to rip out his jugular, like the predator he is, Scott interjects.

"Logan! Drop him!" When Scott's unnerved voice orders Logan, my eyes snap to Mikey's feet, which are spraddled in the air, dangling for dear life.

I guess a few days apart made me forget just how strong he is. Maybe he's just too gentle with me to remember.

As his feet slowly lower to the floor, gasps and murmurs flood the halls, and my head frantically shoots around, surprised by the crowd of avid onlookers.

Eyes anxiously surveying the students, I hone in on Logan again, flinching when seeing his pupils, already fixed on me.

He releases Mikey immediately, retracting from him while Scott grabs his bicep, heatedly whispering into his ear, and Mikey scrambles away.

Logan's eyes shy from mine and my mouth gaps. He almost looks, embarrassed. 'Huh?'

Soon, other teachers arrive to intervene, shooing students from the crime scene.

So, aimlessly wandering outside, into the courtyard, hoping to clear my head, I think back on our classes together. Every time Mikey acted up, Logan seemingly couldn’t care less, looking more spent overall, than unsettled by his brazen jokes.

It was kind of funny, seeing Mikey quaking in his boots at the older male. It was only yesterday, that he spoke to me with such forwardness, and to Logan with such rudeness, carrying that typical smug expression -it was nice to see it wiped clean.

I laugh to myself, disbelieving what just transpired. I can only imagine what errand Professor Xavier will make Logan do to atone, or what bonding exercise he and Mikey may perform...

While I trudge down the stone steps, onto the vivid green field, I spot the devil himself, Mikey. He sits under the shade of a grand willow tree, dome hung between his bent knees.

Feeling rather empathetic, I stroll towards him, stopping in front of his feet. Evidently noticing my bright attire, his head pops up, and his dewy eyes widen.

"You alright?" I ask warily and his bottom lip trembles. He sniffs once, toughening up before responding, "I'm good." I nod, then look at the endless landscape to my right. "Whatever you did must've really been something, Mr. Howlett's rarely that peeved."

"You're telling me," he huffs sarcastically, sounding pained. Shifting, I sit beside him, maintaining some space. "If you don't mind me asking, what was that about?" Mikey pauses, thinking hard.

"No clue," he mumbles pitifully. I gawk at him, brows creasing. He peers at me and copies my appearance. "I'm not lying," he exclaims defensively. "There's no way," I retort, scoffing.

"If you don't fucking believe me, why ask," Mikey spits, mumbling "bitch" as he shoots to stomp off.

Suspiring, my crown gingerly falls onto the tree's trunk. Finding comfort in its rugged bark, I calmly savour the crisp air.

I close my eyes, for what feels like a few minutes until a fierce call of my name grips my consciousness. Eyelids cracking open, my vision focuses on Mr. Howlett himself, standing in all his glory, glaring down at me with a brooding look.

"If it isn't the man of the hour," I giggle humourlessly, straightening my spine, but choosing not to stand and seem intimidated, like he evidently wishes me to be.

"You have a nice chat?" Logan questions with an irked tone, obviously remarking on my 'chat' with Mikey. 'Was he watching us?'

I tilt my head defiantly. "I'm not picking sides," I raise both hands in surrender, smiling from ear to ear. His eye faintly twitches, and I nearly gulp. He grumbles incomprehensible nonsense, then chooses to stay relatively quiet, which is unlike him.

"Do you have something to say? Or are you just gonna stand there?" I inquire venomously.

Clearly dispising my attitude, he concentrates on my face, scowling. His features have rage written all over them, but I refuse to bow out of this impending feud.

He grumbles under his breath again, and I break.

"Speak up!" I shout, swiftly bringing my gaze to our surroundings, making sure we're alone -which is something Logan clearly isn't worried about.

"What the fuck do you two have to talk about?" He just about growls and I tense, stunned. My face contorts with perplexity. "Me and Mikey?" I question, and his eyebrows nearly conjoin in response. "Not much, just discussing you're outburst," heaving, I continue, "though he didn't have much to say on the topic," sighing, "you?"

His nostrils flare slightly, and I do my best to appear composed. "What else have you talked about?" He grunts, and I roll my eyes, rising to my feet, bored with our conversation. "What's it to you?" I ask rhetorically, internally referring to the distance he'd been building between us.

Moving elsewhere, I roughly brush past his shoulder. He doesn't immediately reply, but trails after me as I march further into the courtyard.

"The fuck you on about?" Logan vulgarly rumbles, and I forget to speak.

My pace then staggers when he delicately wraps his digits over my forearm, tugging me, almost cautiously, backward.

Square to him, I discern his thumb tracing my skin lightly, before finally looking at him. He examines his finger as it sweeps across my flesh. "Logan?" I carefully utter, and his eyes stay glued to where our bodies meet.

"Why do you talk to him," he pauses, snarling with emphasis on 'talk,' yet again. Then he murmurs, "-When you have me?" He’s so quiet, that the words are barely audible. My features instantly soften. “Are you,” I hesitate, “Jealous?”

When he doesn’t answer, I gasp so loud, that my palm slaps over my mouth. He looks around, avoiding eye contact as I grasp the situation. “Did you threaten Mikey 'cause he yaps to me in class?”

Logan scorned the very idea of jealousy, cruising his head in a circle, to showcase his exasperation. I smirk uncontrollably and he snits. "Don't flatter yourself Princess," he remarks blatantly. My smirk only expands. "I can't believe you," I laugh hysterically and he motions like he's going to walk away, but he stays put, and I know I've won.

"Don't pull that face," he complains, gesturing to my proud look.

"What face?" I ask, playing naive, faintly swinging my body side to side. "Just stop talking to him, he's a bad influence," he grunts, peering off to the horizon. I giggle, "Or what? Do you intend to beat every boy who speaks to me?" I counter, and he struggles to fight a smile.

"What if I do," Logan more or less declares.

Shaking my head, "You've got some nerve," I huff, "seeing as you've been avoiding me lately."

"I haven't been avoiding you-"

I interrupt, "Oh yes, you have," playfully punching his gut with a grin, which drops the second my knuckles practically grow a heartbeat. "Ow," I breathe and at last, he laughs.

When Logan's laugh dims, he looks almost sullen. "Didn't think you'd notice," he mumbles and I quirk my chin in confusion. "You seem preoccupied." Gapping at him once more, he rolls his eyes, showing his teeth. "Don't gimme that damn look girl," he heaves, "you're young and, and-"

"And what?"

"Attractive," he sighs heavily, "you don't need an old man weighing you down."

I still, catching his genuine displeasure and defeat. It's like he's disappointed I may seek romance from someone else, but accepts it regardless, for my sake, my happiness.

My heart thumps irregularly and I feel like jumping his bones. I release a lengthy sigh, with a smile twinkling. His brow rises questioningly, seeming anxious about a reaction to his masked insecurity.

"What?" He bites.

"I'm relieved," his confusion visibly progresses. "I thought you were tired of me." As his mouth opens, to probably insult my intelligence, I cut in. "I wanna go steady with you, if that wasn't obvious already." My smile grows sheepish, then taunting, "I like you Lo, and clearly you must love me."

Like he's been holding his breath, a loud puff of air escapes his chapped lips, and I shamelessly watch as he wets them.

"You've gotta be the strangest girl I've ever met," he utters with a smirk forming, and I return one, interpreting his words as a declaration of love.

"Woman," I correct, then babble jokingly, "refined Lady." He confidently strides closer. "Mistress-"

The air leaves my lungs as his solid arms devour me, squeezing tightly.

"You best realize what you're committing to," Logan comments, lightly lifting strands of my hair with his fingertips, to kiss my neck. "That means, no more talking to boys," he grunts, humour coaxing his tone. "Especially ones so far out of your league," he pulls his head back, to peer at my expectant face, "It's not even funny," he finishes with a grin.

I laugh, unable to contain my joy, quickly hiding my wild smile in his chest. A pleased hum rumbles in tune with his heavy breathing, and I listen to his heartbeat's fairly, rapid pace.

For a while, we stay present in each other's arms, with fulfillment and ease consuming our beings, synchronously. Logan's fingers drift across my lower back, leisurely tracing my curves.

"I like you, so much," I whisper airly because the words couldn't be repressed, and had escaped. His hands gradually slow to a halt, till he abruptly draws back. He looks at me, with such intense seriousness, that I shudder.

Then, he pulls away entirely, taking my hand in his larger one, to drag me deeper into the field -into the overgrown areas, looted with massive trees and bushes.

"Logan?" My whisper transforms into a squeak when I'm hauled behind various, untrimmed hedges. His palms grope my hips, stilling me before he drops to his knees. I ogle his smug face as it bores into me, before he wrestles with my pink, low-waisted, jean shorts, impatiently dragging them down my plump thighs. He mumbles, "Ridiculous" when his eyeline levels with my purple, close-to-sheer underwear.

Like my shorts, he yanks them down to my ankles, then swiftly encloses his mouth over my cunt, swiping the folds with his tongue. I throw the back of my hand over my incoming yelp, biting down to muffle it.

"Is this you tryna to deflect admitting you really like me?" I joke meekly as my mouth parts from my hand, but I quickly chomp down again, when he licks me, with a long flick of his tongue. I gasp and whimper, using my spare hand to claw at his scalp for leverage, as he hungrily laps my pussy, sucking on its nub.

A tremor racks my insides, eliciting spasms while he builds up a powerful, but excruciatingly relaxed pace. His bulky digits move to relentlessly rub my clit, applying a rhythmic pressure that makes me sob.

Logan shushes me, mouth still buried in my folds. The buzz of his voice sends shivers through my core, and the strength of his action grows, acknowledging my imminent finish.

“Eyes on me,” Logan basically growls, before diving back into my cunt.

I muffle a cry of his name with a fist now, biting my knuckles. Then, I look from the heavens, back down to the one hand I still have, clenching his silky locks.

My knees begin to buckle and his sizeable palms relocate to support my hips, with his fingertips bordering my ass, kneading it. "I'm close," I gasp, barely audible through my hand. He hums again, and when it elicits another shiver, and shake of my frame, I tumble over his back, wrecked by my climax.

Now hunched over him, with my hands splayed down his torso, I tremble furiously, coming down from my high. I can't help but whine when Logan continuously licks me. He tastes every inch of me like I'm the meal of a lifetime, like I'm oxygen itself.

"Enough," I choke, as my arousal becomes too much. His response is simply plunging further into me, to lick all the way from my ass, to clit.

Steam floods my stomach, lighting me on fire. A raging flame consumes my very being, and I relish in how dirty and dangerous this encounter is -in public on his knees for me, Logan made it known that I'm his, and he let me know, that he couldn't care less who heard us, because I was his.

"You're disturbed," I breathe, and his chuckle resonates louder when he separates from my damp skin. "You love it," he states with a smirk and an arch of his brow. He then runs his tongue over his soaked lips, and I bite back a groan, sighing, "I do."

Lifting, moving my palms to his shoulders, I capture his top lip, sucking on it as a thank you. I grin, and as if he can hear my jest coming from a mile away, he scoffs and turns to hide his smirk.

"And you must lovveee me," I repeat my earlier comment with even more enthusiasm, and he shakes his head.

He rises and I do the same. Logan then goes in for a kiss to shut me up, but just as he does, I catch his mumble of "I do."

I gasp into his mouth, eyelids stretching.

My lids briskly flutter shut when he deepens the kiss, dipping my figure, rather romantically, and we both smile.

[multific]

The City of Rome at Your Feet

Emperor Geta x Reader

Warnings: hint of insanity (a lot), spoilers for the movie, blood, soft mention of smut

Summary: It was always about the pleasures of the body. But your soul was happiest just around him.

Two souls have never been more intervened.

It was almost frightening.

How can two people be meant for each other so much?

They weren’t much different. Both wicked in their own ways.

Geta being the loud Emperor, while you remained the quiet Empress.

Same temper, same goals and the same love for violence.

You just expressed yourself differently.

You being a lady, were elegant and enticing.

Your marriage was only a wish. A wish which came true.

You prayed to the Gods, hoping for a husband who is just like you.

And you met the Emperors.

Caracalla enjoyed your wit and even if you weren't blood related, called you sister. But Geta enjoyed you as a woman and ordered you to marry him.

You had no choice but to accept.

You never expected for your marriage to turn into such greatness.

It was a marriage filled with fire and blood.

A love filled with passion and power.

And each night, not only your bodies but your souls also melted into one.

You noticed as time kept going on, slowly, the lines between you and Geta slowly blurred.

When Acacius returned from yet another victory. You stood by your husband.

"Emperor Geta, Emperor Caracalla, Empress Y/N." he greeted you as you looked at him, his words failed to get to you after that.

All that you remember is heading back into the palace then Acacius' words finally reached your ears.

"My wife has many subjects. She has to feed them." Acacius said and you looked at him.

Caracalla spoke up before you could.

"And you suggest my sister is not doing a proper job of that?" your eyes snapped at Acacius, who looked at you with regret in his eyes.

"I hope your wife will be able to come and join us for the games tomorrow. I appreciate she is busy with her... subjects, but I don't see why she won't be able to join us."

Caracalla laughed and your eyes never moved from Marcus instead, you took a step closer to him.

"In case you forgot who you were talking to, Marcus." you finished and raised your cup. The man nodded.

---

You enjoyed Gladiator games as much as the next person.

Watching men fight for honour and freedom. It was truly magneficent.

Marcus and his wife were also present after Marcus' lovely speech, you felt a dark presence.

The row behind you were making plans.

But you were a step ahead. Watching Lucilla look at the new Gladiator, Hanno.

You tilted your head and smirked.

You will have some fun with those three.

Your husband squeezes your hand as you turned and smiled at him.

Later that evening, you sent word, asking a guard to report to you as soon as someone visits the new Gladiator.

And someone did.

Lucilla.

You smiled.

"My Love! So happy today?"

"Of course I am. I just found out something very interesting."

"Dare to share?" he grabbed your waist and pulled you close.

"Maybe later, once I have it all laid out."

"I would like to lay you out right now." he moved his head into your neck and started biting your neck.

---

Your husband was yelling, you looked at the traitors in front of you.

"Torture me, but do not lecture me." you smiled at Marcus' words.

"You two are truly stupid." you spoke up and everyone in the room looked at you. "You thought you could save him. Your beloved son. Lucius? Is that his name? You are truly foolish."

"What are you talking about?" asked Lucilla.

"He's dead. Killed him myself." you watched as both looked at you in disbelief.

Then a guard walked out with a head on a plate.

"The same fate Macrinus wished for my husband." You turned to the man sitting on the bench while Lucilla broke down and Marcus moved. "Silly man." with one movement you stepped out of the way as the guards brought him to the floor.

"I wonder how the people of Rome will think of their beloved General once they learn how he attached their Empress. In her sleep none the less. Snuck in and tried to kill her. Sent by his wife, who wished to rule."

"You-" but Marcus couldn't finish his sentence as he was dragged away along with his wife and Macrinus.

"Sister, you are something else truly!" Caracalla laughed and you grabbed a knife and a silver plate, looking at yourself, you cut along your neck. "Genius!" Caracalla continued.

"Why did you have to do that?" Geta rushed over to you, worried as he put his hand on your bleeding neck.

"Proof to the people of my attack. Oh, Geta I was so worried! He came out of nowhere! Hiding in the silk curtains, he told me Lucilla wanted to take my place! I was so scared." your eyes were shiny with tears as Geta shook his head and looked at you.

Caracalla left moments before, laughing still.

Geta watched you and he let out a long sigh. "How did you know?"

"Lucilla was so obvious I'm surprised not everyone noticed. As for Macrinus... I never liked him."

Geta let out a laugh, this is when the healer arrived to check out your neck and put bandages on it.

The next day, you watched Marcus fight and fail.

You managed to put on the show of a life time with your injury, the people of Rome had no reason not to believe you.

All they saw is a hurt poor woman, their Empress.

This not only earned you but also the Emperors sympathy as everyone chanted for Acacius' death.

You felt your husband move his arms around you, pulling you close.

Rome was yours.

Geta was yours and you were only his.

Gladiator II Collection

Taglist: 

@castellandiangelo @imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl @manduse @jacalineiscomingforyou 

@mandoloriancookie @deliciousfestsalad @lilliumrorum @asgards-princess-of-mischief 

@fallout-girl219 @dracaryxzs @snowtargaryen 

~Masterlist~

ˇAO3ˇ

/YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO TRANSLATE, TO STEAL OR TO REUPLOAD ANY OF MY WORKS TO THIS OR OTHER PLATFORMS/

[trustmypoison]

What kind of person SVT is into

Requested? Yes!

Request: ‘Can you write what kind of person the guys in svt are into?’

A/N: Man, this one took some time. As someone who doesn’t really have a type (?), I had a hard time with this one. So, I put on my baby astrologer hat and did some research. Here’s my obligatory warning that I could be wrong about everything, and it’s just not that serious!! 

Seungcheol 

Someone who is very, very, very open about their feelings. Unabashedly expressive about things, including how into him they might be (he’s a Leo, please trust me on this). Think of someone that just wears their heart on their sleeves no matter what. I think he’d also find it attractive for someone to be an exceptionally hard worker and passionate about what they do - or just brings a lot of passion and energy into everything they do in general. 

Jeonghan 

Someone with a good sense of humor and sharp wit. Playful, flirty banter is a must. I think that would be enough for him most of the time, but what would really reel him in is an emotional connection. I kind of feel like he’s incredibly romantic but high-key resistant to it. So, someone who brings a naturally romantic, sweet energy despite the banter would make him go crazy. 

Joshua 

Someone who is the picture of stability. Like, I’m talking about someone who has their shit together and knows exactly what they want (could never be me!!). That ‘don’t worry, I got it’ attitude would have him hooked immediately. BUT!! He also wants to present the same sort of stability, so someone who can find some balance between that stability and leaning on others would have him planning a wedding. 

Jun 

Someone who is unapologetically weird!! Change my mind!! Really, though, the weirder, the better. It’s not just about a unique look, though that would be something that he’d be into. He’d live for the interesting conversations about unique jobs or unusual hobbies, or strange personal history. Never gets tired of learning something new every day. 

Hoshi 

Someone with high energy! I’m sure a lot of people saw this coming. He’d be into someone who smiles and laughs really easily and sort of brings an air of happiness wherever they go. So, he’d want someone to have fun with, but I think the kicker would be if this is someone emotionally intelligent and sensitive that he can be serious with, too. 

Wonwoo 

He is an enigma to me, and I think he needs someone that is equally enigmatic. Stick with me here. Someone who is equally affectionate and independent. Someone who can be incredibly social but also does well alone. Someone who likes to dress down but makes dressing up look effortless as well. I think he’d appreciate someone that you never really know what to expect from. 

Woozi 

Someone who has a fiery personality. I’m talking about someone who might have to be dragged away from an argument when tempers flare. That type of passion is something that I think he’d find really attractive because not only can he handle it, but he can match it, too. Someone who has strong values and opinions and isn’t afraid to stick to them. But also someone who can thoughtfully communicate those values and opinions.

DK 

Someone who has a great sense of humor and isn’t afraid to be silly. Shamelessly trying to make people laugh is totally a thing he does, and he’d love to bounce that energy off someone else. Someone who is equally shameless about affection and showing how much they love the people around them. It might just be me, but I wonder if he ever feels like he comes on too strong, and someone who responds warmly to that sort of thing would be incredible for him. 

Mingyu 

Someone who likes to be babied as much as they like to do the babying. I’m talking PDA all of the time, smothering each other and grossing others out. He likes to feel needed, so someone who isn’t hyper-independent would actually be something that he really likes. Someone who can make him feel big and tough 50% of the time but has an attitude that makes him fold the other 50% of the time. 

Minghao 

Emotionally intelligent!! Someone who is considerate about other people’s feelings and can be articulate about their own. Think of the therapist of the friend group that everyone goes to to unload their troubles and get advice. Someone who has a calm, soothing air about them that’s just easy to be around and get along with. Someone who is very intentional with how they express their love.

Seungkwan 

Honestly? The person everybody loves. I hesitate to say someone perfect because there’s no such thing. But think of the it girl or boy that can do it all and is well-liked on top of it. I think he’d have a lot of admiration for that kind of person, but I think he’d like someone who can own up to their own mistakes or flaws, too. 

Vernon 

A bit of a loner, maybe? Someone who really doesn’t mind being by themselves and respects others’ space immensely. Therefore, the time that someone like that would spend with him would be all the more significant. Someone who is kind of slow to open up because when they do, it would be all the more rewarding. 

Chan 

Someone who regularly steals the spotlight, whether they mean to or not. Think the life of the party or someone with a loud, infectious laugh. I think he’d be into someone who really knows how to have a good time no matter the setting. He might even be a little intimidated to approach someone like that, even though he’s like that, too. 

[madamechrissy]

Silent Serenades

♔ An arranged Marriage with Duke Gojo ♔

♔ Pairings: Satoru Gojo x you, you x Nanami

♔ Warnings: Heavy, heavy fucking angst, jealousy, cunnilingus, fingering, sex, cheating on your side (reader's) surprise Satoru isn't a hoe for once! Toxic attraction, Gojo is toxic, reader is toxic. OOC. SO MUCH TENSION. Say hello to Mr. Nanami again. SLOW BURN remember that.

♔ Word count this chap: 9k

♔ Summary: you are the diamond of the season, he is the charming Duke, it’s the marriage of the decade. Prominent families joining, and it so happens that Duke Gojo is gorgeous. But, he doesn't want you, and now you're trapped in a loveless arranged marriage. Royal AU, dark Bridgerton vibes, Cruel Gojo x reader. OOC Set in 1800s England. Slow burn, enemies to lovers. Gojo is awful at first, HEAVY angst Basically- Gojo is a royal dick and doesn't wanna marry you

Comments/ reblogs always appreciated 🥰

Part Seven - Masterlist - Playlist

Part Eight- A Proposition

The Next Week

“What are we baking today, Mr. Nanami?” You ask teasingly, as your fluffy little puppy snuggles up on a little blanket Nanami folded, snacking on a ham bone Nanami had rather happily. Nanami chuckles as he unlaces your corset a bit, pecking little brushes of his lips on your neck.

“Muffins today, darling. The lawyer is coming in a couple hours, I figure we can have some tea and muffins ready. He’s a very nice man, also, a good friend of mine for years. Mmm, why do you smell so delectable?” Nanami inhales you right at the crook of your neck.

“You always say that, I am not sure, perhaps the bath essence I use.” He just hums, tying an apron around you, pecking more kisses on your cheeks, on your temple, as you fall into him.

“No, you smell better than usual. Maybe I missed you all week.” He whispers, hands pressing into your hips now, over the thin layers of your soft muslin gown, you exhale, body reacting to him, igniting under his firm touch.

“I missed you, Kento.” You turn then, blushing as he presses you back against him, you’re still nervous about making love again, so worried because last time it had hurt. You do not know if it will hurt again, even if it was pleasurable, you find yourself just a little nervous.

“You know we don’t have to do anything but bake, right darling?” You bite your lower lip, reaching back to brush your fingers across his cheek, feeling his light stubble prickly on your fingers.

“I am a little afraid, it did hurt and was a little uncomfortable… but I want to try again.” Nanami sighs, pecking a kiss on your lips softly, lips thankfully healed from Satoru Gojo’s bites.

You and Satoru had done nothing, you both have not even spoken, not since he came home that night, and you fully expected him to bring women home, but he’d been mostly locked up in his office. You’d walked by one night and his face had collapsed onto the desk. You only know through servant gossip that his Father had left many estates in shambles.

You both ate without a word, he would glance at you here and there, with cold blue eyes, but you enjoyed the silence, you enjoyed being able to compartmentalize your feelings, which were so jumbled for this man. You contemplate if you had any feeling at all, or if it was just inexperience and passion, and now you’re fully ready to take this dive.

To end this marriage.

You frequently find Satoru in your room, caressing your cheek, tucking you in your bed as you had that one time, you do not reciprocate, you do not react, let him be confusing and stupid, let him be lonely. What does it matter to you? The only reason you had not seen Nanami was a busy schedule of appearances as ‘the Duchess’ , a title you will not have soon.

This morning, Nanami had been very clear with his intentions.

“When I leave, I wonder where I will go? I think we have an estate out of town I could stay in…” You murmured to Nanami earlier, and he scoffed, cupping your face, lips a breath away.

“You will stay with me, love. How could you think I’d help and not offer you to stay?”

“But it would be so scandalous!”

“So we go to Gretna Green and marry.”

You blink at that, eyes wide. “Marry me? Are you… Kento, are you so sure about this?”

“I’m very serious. When have I not been?” You had exhaled, as your puppy happily ran around both your legs, and Nanami picked him up, smiling, as you do.

“You two are adorable together. I suppose we would make a cute family.” He smirks then, touching your stomach carefully.

“Darling I need more than a puppy, I’m afraid I’d have to put a little bun in this oven. When you’re ready.” You’d been reduced to a blushing mess, touching his hand, snuggling with him and the puppy. “Is it too bold?”

“You ask the lady who said ‘take me’ what is bold?” He chuckles, as you giggle, and you both had gently kissed.

A marriage, babies…

“I am not rich, but I am well off, but I promise I would give you all a good life. I would work so hard for it.” Nanami says softly, and you feel your eyes misty with emotions.

“I have no doubt of this, Kento.”

You never have to wonder what Nanami wants, the man says it, he does not go back and forth in a stupid, endless cycle, he is bold and forthright with you. You gasp when his hand slips back around to your tummy, you exhale, shivering a bit in his hold, as you all stand in his little kitchen.

“Will I get pregnant? From…” It’s his turn to blush, clearing his throat.

“No, I um… remember when I pulled out?” You turn to him, holding his hands and shyly looking down at your slippered feet.

“When you… on my tummy?” You croak out, and he nods then, brushing your hair back off your neck.

“Yes, darling, that was so you would not become pregnant. I would not put you in such a position, especially before we are to marry. We do not know how long the proceedings of the annulment will take.”

“So how do… how does someone… get pregnant?” You ask cautiously, and he clears his throat, taking a breath, thumbs brushing the backs of your knuckles.

“Well, I would cum inside you.”

“I’m confused.”

He laughs softly, tilting your chin up, kissing the tip of your nose. “I would not spill my seed on you, but in you.”

Your body heats up at the thought, and you find yourself shifting your thighs. Nanami notices this with a quirk of his lips, his hazel eyes narrowing. “That sounds most intimate, Sir.”

“It is very much so, I have not done that with a woman. But you seem as if you like the idea.” You bury your face shyly in his chest.

“Hush, you tease me Sir.” He moans ever so lightly, rubbing his hands up and down your back as he holds you.

“You’re adorable to tease, do you blame me Duchess?”

“I will soon not be Duchess.” You murmur, and he smiles against your temple as he holds onto you. “But I will still be darling of course.”

“Of course you will be. So I think we rushed the first time, I did not work you up enough, that’s my thoughts on why it was uncomfortable. You know the prior times where I spent more attention on you?” You nod against him. “Well perhaps I got too excited, like a boy in leading strings with his first.”

“Did you get so excited?” You tease back, and he sighs, kissing you softly, mouth hot and hungry, you whine softly into it, body reacting to his careful caresses.

“I did, I beat myself up all week, I could have made it much better, but you looked so sexy I lost it.”

“Oh, Kento it was still so good!”

“No, not as good as it could have been. Now you’re worried-”

“Not at all!”

“You are. It will not be painful again, but also I’ll make sure she’s fully ready, I promise, love.” You whine out softly again when he’s kissing you, holding you so close, picking you up for a moment. “Mmm, only if you want to try again. I can wait, however long you need.”

“Kento, I am not patient, you know.” You run your hands down his chest, and he grins at that, white teeth flashing.

“Darling, you must bake with me first.”

“Oh, the muffins, yes! Let me show you my skills, Sir.” You and Kento set to work now, and he’s adding ingredients as you’re stirring them up in a bowl, wrist turning as you work the spatula. Soon you all fall into a comfortable side by side, you’re licking batter off one of his fingers, and he’s lapping up powdered sugar from your nose with a laugh.

It’s quiet in Nanami’s apartments, it’s so sweet in it's quiet too, as you both are softly speaking here and there, and you’re pouring the batter into the little paper cups. Was this happiness, enjoying his company, feeling comfortable, feeling so special doing the most basic things? Not feeling conflicted, cold, that bottomless pit of despair that was your husband.

“Perfect, as always, love.” Nanami says then, and you grin up at him, watching his hazel eyes glint as they crinkle at the corners.

“They are going to be so delicious!” You agree, measuring and smoothing out each muffin, and then Nanami is taking off your apron carefully, hanging it up and then doing the same with his own.

“Something else here is delicious.” He whispers, cupping your chin in his hand, and you flush, his intent hitting hard.

“Oh indeed, Sir? Are you sure?” He hums to himself, slipping your skirts up your legs and thighs then, eyes locked on yours as he watches your eyes flutter shut when he finds your heat over your pantalets.

“I’m very sure. I think it’s… over here…” He slips his middle finger under your waist band, and you’re trembling, growing slick under his expert touch, so gentle as it strokes your slit.

“Th-there? You… um… sure?” He laughs softly, swirling his finger, his other hand gripping your backside.

“Let’s taste-test.” He pulls his finger back, sucking on the tip now, and you yank him down to you then, clinging to his strong shoulders, tip toeing as you kiss. “See, so yummy.”

“Is it now?” You bite your lower lip now, as he’s picking you up in his arms, kissing you over and over, and you melt into him, into this sweet, sexy man. A perfect man.

When he’s got you on the edge of his bed, he’s gently undressing you, exhaling at each revealed part of your skin, hands trailing down your shoulders, your breasts, thumbs playing your nipples, which respond eagerly. You’re still in your white stockings and garter belt, bare everywhere else, when he kneels between your thighs, sucking on a nipple.

“Mmm!” You cry out, as he’s looking up at you, adoringly, but there’s something that fucks with you, Satoru Gojo’s stupid blue eyes, so obsessively staring at you, as he’s furious of what you’ve done. As he called you a whore and choked you, biting your lips bloody. Why did your body respond like that!?

You know he is horrible, but you also know he has been with no one since that night, even your Nan had commented, and here you are, letting Nanami touch you, see you fully, Satoru had barely seen you, you had never seen him, his body. You’d done less with your husband by far than with Nanami.

And Satoru deserves that, and you don’t deserve his cruelty, why should you suffer endlessly if you could instead feel happy, feel desire, feel loved? When you just feel so good for once, it’s like with Nanami it’s as easy as a beautiful morning, like some lovely picnic at the park, and with Satoru Gojo, that Duke, it was like being plunged into the Atlantic ocean.

Freezing cold.

How could Satoru be so cold, yet when he touched you it was like fire that spread all over? You shake those thoughts off, it’s not as if anything could or should ever come from those feelings, for once Satoru leaves you alone, and you get a blissful reprieve from such endless sorrow, though you’re still a stranger in that manor. Soon, maybe you’d have a home.

A real home, something comfortable. Nanami’s apartments are perhaps two rooms in Gojo Manor, but they feel so lovely, so cozy. Nanami feels so good as he’s kissing you, his lips drinking you in, as your hands entangle in his soft locks, feeling the blunt ends of his cut, he’d just gone to the barber today, grinning as he’d taken his hat off and shown you.

You’d do anything to keep a smile on Nanami’s face, and never hurt this man again, to give your full self and heart into it. Your eyes roll back when he finds you again, your eager pussy, hips rocking up for more of his rough hands, but gentle touches, and his lips part as he watches you, as he’s pushing a thick finger in your little hole.

“Mmm, s’good Ken!” You cry out, and he pauses, smiling a bit, pecking kisses down the side of your face.

“Ken, hmm? Do I have a nickname darling?” You smile at him, nodding then, before gasping in pleasure as he presses on that spot.

“Of course you do. Don’t I have a nickname?” He exhales, spreading your thighs apart now, hands on your waist as he pushes you to lay back, you’re gasping as he’s flicking his tongue on your clit, still using that finger. “Kento!”

“Mmm, I like Ken. Use it, darling.” He teases with a grin, and you giggle but it’s cut off when he’s swirling your clit with the tip of his tongue, and he’s spreading you wide, moaning against your pussy, and you’re feeling that heat build. You’re writhing under him, and he’s humming against you. “That’s it, love. Good girl.”

At that, you’re soaring even higher, as he’s looking up at you with that lazy gaze, lavishing your every inch, focusing on your clit more and more, and you’re clinging to him tightly, “Ken… going to…”

“Mmm, yes love.” He says softly, and diving back down, then you’re cumming all over his handsome face, and he’s still licking you, in little circles, drawing more wetness. Then he is smacking kisses on the lips of your sex, sliding up, his chin glistening, making you blush.

“Ken.” You say softly, reaching down to feel him over his trousers, so thick and hard already, and your tummy clenches, still so nervous. You don’t know if you made the right decision last time, so upset, now with a week of clarity you hope you’re more prepared emotionally.

“We do not have to do more, I could just do that, you know.” He says then, ever the gentleman Nanami is. You pull out his length, exhaling and kissing his tip, looking up at him then, and his eyes flutter shut, jaw clenching as you swirl your tongue around him, sucking him into your mouth. “Darling, you’re so good. You’re… you’ve only… with me?”

You pause then, blinking, as Nanami’s holding you back a bit. “I have not done this with anyone.”

“Not even him?” He asks then, and you back away, legs closing, tears pricking your eyes, making Nanami curse, covering his eyes with his hand now. “Fuck, please forget I asked that.”

“I have not done that with him. I know I hurt you telling you what he’s done, I feel horrible still. Maybe I should check on those muffins?” You stand then, and he grabs your shoulders carefully, pulling you against him.

“Please, I’m sorry. I know I can’t be this way, but the thought of him with you makes me so sick. I want you all to myself.” He whispers, kissing you once more, and you exhale, understanding him, how could he be okay with you still living with Gojo, why wouldn’t he worry? “That was wrong of me to do. Now you’re wanting to just leave my bed and you look so pretty on it.”

You look down now, swallowing, your throat dry as you try to focus. “Perhaps we should not go so far if you’re still hurting from me having done something with him?”

“No, no, fuck I want you so badly I cannot think of anything else.” He whispers, cupping your face gently, tilting your face up to look at him, feeling his passion with every breath, and you feel so fucking awful, how can you even be with someone like Nanami Kento? When you have thoughts of Satoru Gojo, he should be upset, you had so easily betrayed Nanami.

You will not even be with Gojo, stay with him.

You must shove the thoughts away.

“I have not done anything but kiss him once since you and I were intimate, and he angrily kissed me. Clearly upset. That’s what I do, I hurt people.” You whisper, feeling emotions stuck in your throat, unable to look at him, at his sweet expression and handsome features. It is what you do, you hurt Nanami, you hurt Satoru, even if he is horrible.

You hurt yourself.

You try to pull back, as you now are too worried of hurting him, your sweet Nanami, and you can tell the toll it takes on him. Nanami doesn’t let you leave his embrace, however, he’s pulling your naked body closer, cupping your face with one hand, eyes glimmering with his own emotion.

“You do not hurt me. I should not have asked.” His brows knit together, and you shake your head.

“You should ask, and I hate that you have to. It’s hurting me to see the pain on your face.” You say brokenly, and Nanami kisses you then, more passionate than he usually does, more intense now, lips firm against yours. You inhale him, that soft sandalwood mixing with the blueberry muffins you all make, intoxicating, and you feel him so strong, so sure.

“Please forget this moment. Let me make it up to you.” He asks pleadingly, and you shake your head.

“It’s fine, I promise. No need to make anything up to me, it’s just how you feel.” You brush his hair back with a tremulous little smile, looking up at him, then gasping as he’s picked you up again, laying you in his bed, sinking between your thighs, making you gasp.

“I’m not done with you just yet, darling.” He’s kissing down your neck, and you moan softly as he licks and sucks that spot behind your ear, and you’re shivering in pleasure, in desire. “I’m sorry I lost it around you just a bit, how can I not want you for just me?”

He’s gripping you tighter with those big hands, and you’re falling apart under his touch. “S’okay, Ken. Express yourself, don’t be afraid of speaking your- ah- feelings, it’s- ngh!”

He’s biting your neck now, hands sliding down your thighs, pulling one up over his arm, as he leans up and looks down at you, sandy hair falling over a brow. You bite your lower lip under his intense study of you, your breasts heaving up and down, nipples pronounced and aching.

“I fear I’ll scare you away, pretty Duchess.” You shake your head, brushing that hair back, pecking a kiss on his chin. “I crave for me to be the only man for you, the only one to touch you.”

“Oh, Ken- ah!” He’s pressing against your entrance now, exhaling, his eyes locked on yours, studying your reactions. You nod, testing it by rolling your hips up, and he moans, pressing deeper, you brace for pain, but there isn’t any, just a fullness, just a lot of stretching, pressure. “Mmm!”

“Are you alright my love?” He whispers, teeth clenched, and you nod, sucking in a breath as he strokes your face, shoving in so deep, you’re so wet it doesn’t hurt at all but it’s so much pressure.

“I’m so full? It’s a lot.” He pulls back a bit, sliding his fingers inside you instead of his cock, crooking them up as he’s kissing you over and over, and you’re clinging to his back, feeling the strong muscles contract. He makes you cum again, drinking your cries, then slides in, and fuck it feels so good then, you moan into his mouth.

“That’s it, you need a lot of warm up, I see.” He teases, and you giggle, breathless, as he holds one of your hands, entwining your fingers together. “Better, love?”

“Much. You can move, Sir.” You tease, then gasp as he does, as he begins, your back arching. He is stroking in and out of you, rolling his hips and bracing himself over you, lips peppering kisses everywhere he can, as your eyes roll back and your toes curl, and you feel such intense sensations. “Ken!”

“That’s it, my perfect darling. Cum on me, please, let me feel you.” He whispers, so husky, and his words along with his motions make you shatter, cumming all over him, pulsing around his cock. He pauses, sucking in a breath, head falling back. “You feel so exquisite, darling.”

“Ngh, y-you feel s’good.” You whisper back, as the gentle waves rock over you, and Nanami’s slowing his thrusts, kissing you sweetly.

“Wish I could cum inside you, so badly.” He says and you get flustered, now that you know what that means. “I won’t yet, love.”

“Yet.” You whisper back, earning his smile, and fuck Nanami’s smile is brilliant, as he makes sure you feel so good, as he’s caressing you everywhere you’re sensitive, as he gently rocks his hips, so not to hurt you, and soon he’s finding his own release, pulling out and resting his head on yours as he cums, sticky hot ribbons all over your belly button and tummy.

“Oh my god, you feel too good.” He says then, kissing you as you lean up on your elbows, and you blush furiously at the sight.

“It seems so wanton, Sir.” You say with a giggle, and he smirks.

“It is rather wanton, I’m afraid. I corrupted you.”

“Not at all. I am no angel.”

“You look an angel. Let me clean you.” He’s gently running a washcloth over your pussy, and you hiss a bit. “Too much love?”

“No, just a lot to get used to.” You smile reassuringly, running your hand up his chiseled cheekbone. “It was so much easier this time. I was afraid for nothing.”

He exhales in relief, shoulders stooping slightly. “Thank the gods, I was so worried.”

“No need to worry, indeed, I believe I quite enjoy it.” He grins now, and you both kiss over and over as the timer beeps, and he pulls you close against him, as you snuggle into his embrace.

“I want to take you out to town, not hide you.” He says huskily after you’ve dressed and turned off the oven, and you frown, feeling his need and devotion. “So beautiful they’ll question what you see in me.”

You glare then, shoving at his chest. “Excuse me! You’re so handsome, you better stop that!”

He grins now, mischievous. “How will you punish me hmm?”

“I could come up with ideas.” He laughs, the sound resonating in the room, and then he checks his bronze pocket watch.

“I eagerly look forward to them. It’s almost time to meet the lawyer, are you sure you’re ready, darling?” He asks softly, and you nod then, as a million thoughts whirl inside your mind.

A life of your own, with a man that loves you.

Baking muffins and making love, versus…

Whatever the fuck Gojo was.

“I’m ready.”

Later that evening 

You and your puppy Satoru walk into the manor, and for the… seventh day in a row? Satoru is not with a woman. You tilt your head curiously as the puppy Satoru comes to the Duke, and he pets him with a little smile, looking exhausted. Your puppy loves him and you’re not sure why, but it seems Gojo is also a little affectionate with him now.

Satoru Gojo looks at you then, assessing your body, and his lips go in a terse line. “Have fun, Duchess?” Duke Gojo asks, his voice dark and desperate, as you clutch your stack of papers tightly to your chest.

“I did indeed. And you, Duke?” You ask nonchalantly, coming into the dining room, lit by the soft chandeliers, as Satoru pours over his ledger as he sips on whiskey. “Is that your dinner?”

He laughs bitterly. “What care you? You care nothing for me. I am surprised you’ve even spoken to me today.” He says, gripping his glass so tight his knuckles whiten, veins popping out the back of his hand. You feel guilt eating at you, but you shouldn’t.

You shouldn’t.

“You care naught for me, so what does it matter?” You say, and he gulps his drink down now, sighing, shutting his swirling, tired blue eyes.

“I’m tired of watching you come back with marks from another man. I’m so fucking tired of it.” He speaks roughly, looking at you with eyes glassy from drink, red from exhaustion. You scoff as you walk forward, so close to him, that you inhale him, and his scent.

“And you-”

“I’m with no one!” His desperation kills you, as he looks over your body with silent hunger. “Can’t say the same for you.”

“Well welcome to my first couple of weeks with you, manwhore.” He scoffs, rolling his eyes. “Maybe you should bring them around, you’re awfully sad not fucking random women.”

“Sure, that’s why I’m sad.” He stands then, pouring another drink, as you come up to him then, sucking up your stupid feelings. “What on Earth is this!?” Satoru demands, fingering the enormous stack of legal papers you hand him then, and you giggle a bit, earning his icy blue glare.

“Have you learned to read, Duke Gojo?” You tap the top of the stack, and watch his brows draw together.

“What the… bloody hell…” He’s thumbing through them now, fervently going over it, mouth open, as you cling to the little satchel with the gift and note Nanami Kento gave you at the meeting.

“Indeed, it’s all in there, I had a lawyer write it up. Witnesses of our lack of intimacy are on page twenty two.” You say with a grin, and he glares, flipping to it, mouth wide open.

“Suguru and Shoko signed it!?”

“Mmhmm, they did not mind at all confirming those details, that we have not even once shared a room, let alone a bed. Oh, by the way, I kissed Suguru.”

“You what!?” He stands then, furiously, as you giggle.

“Indeed, we would have gone much further but… alas, he’s a little loyal to you I suppose. I believe he wanted to… oh, lick under my skirts he said! Why it’s a popular thing, all you men want to. Hmm. Should have let him, huh?” You smirk as you watch Gojo lose it, as you turn and spin, as if in a dance, heading to grab a glass of wine. “Mmm, yummy.”

“You insolent fucking brat. You kissed my best friend?” You shrug, nodding a bit, as his eyes swirl with emotions, as they dilate with anger.

“As I said, I should have done more, he was such a good kisser, hmm.”

“You fucking brat.” He snatches you by your free wrist, and you suck in a breath, steeling yourself with a nasty smile. You’ve had enough of trying to break through, of caring, you’re so far gone from him, you just can’t wait to hurt him, just the tiniest bit, before you never see him again. “Better kisser than me?”

“Oh yes, so gentle, not crude and nasty and-”

“You loved my kisses.” He whispers huskily, earning your laugh.

“Sure, whatever you think. Ah, you know Duke Gojo, someone else signed, take a gander.” You sip your wine, raising a brow, as he sputters again.

“Catherine!?”

“Mmm, yes. I saw her and we had lunch, she is too good for you in my opinion, quite a gem that girl. She apologized for everything. I think we’ll be friends!” You sip more, a little dripping on your lips, you touch the tip of your tongue to your lower lip as Satoru looks at you hungrily, then back at the paper, forlorn. “Continue on now.”

“You’ll give me half the dowry, why!?”

“It’s the best option, to make sure it’s swift, what a splendid deal, a month of marriage for that much money!”

“You wish to get rid of me so badly?” He whispers, looking up through his snowy lashes, and you nod then, tensing a bit.

“I’m willing to give you seventy percent, but please allow me thirty, for any children I have. I want to make sure they have something.” Satoru grabs you by your shoulders then, glaring.

“Children?”

“Mmm, of course, Kento wants two or three. If we shall be so lucky! And if they’re girls, they’ll need a dowry from me.”

“Kento. That’s his name?” He whispers, and you nod just a bit, as his breaths grow heavy, as he blinks tears. “Children with him?”

“Indeed, it’s what I’ll want, to be a mother. I love children. You’d know that if you ever asked about me, if you ever cared.” You clear your throat, stepping back, pouring another glass. “All in all, it’s a splendid deal. I suggest you go over it with your lawyer, I am quite exhausted, I do not know how you have energy after sex.”

“After… after…” You giggle again, snatching his bottle and turning, your skirts swishing behind you. “Come back here!”

“No thanks, I’ve had enough of looking at you. Go find some whores to fuck, it’s your only hobby it seems. Tata!” You saunter up the stairs, hearing the crashing, hearing his growl, then hearing his cries, soft sobs he assumes you don’t hear, but you’re happy he’s sobbing.

Fuck Satoru Gojo.

You eagerly set the bottle of wine down on your table, locking your chamber door and sipping one more, as you open the note.

My love, I cannot get you a ring yet, but please have this, it is not much but I wanted you to wear something from me. I will count the seconds until I may gaze upon your sweet face again.

Yours,

Nanami.

You tear up then, as your heart swells for this man, this man that has become so dear, remembering his caresses this morning, remembering the pleasure you found in his arms. The second time was so much better, so good you crave him already again, aching until next time you can feel him, filling you so full.

You shake yourself out of this heated dream, shaky hands opening a little velvet pouch, revealing a little delicate gold necklace, with a tiny little gold charm, and on the back it was two letters, K.N., his initials of course. Your heart thuds as you take off the heavy diamonds and sapphires Satoru’s money had bought, putting on instead this little necklace.

Fuck it feels good to rip off Satoru, and replace it with Nanami.

You hear a knocking on your door, and you roll your eyes.

“Go the fuck away, Duke. I’m done speaking.” You finger the necklace, smiling at your reflection. Nanami’s wife one day? It seemed so far away, but now…

Now anything is possible.

“Please, let me in. Please can we talk?” He is pleading, and you hear it, how desperate he is, and fuck if you were stupid you would let him, but you must become stronger. You can never, ever trust this man.

“No.” You hope your voice sounds more firm than you feel.

“Please, can I just… explain myself!? Please! I have not done anything since that day, could you just… fucking talk to me?” He’s slamming a hand on the door, resting his head, and you want so badly to let him in, fuck. You cannot fall for this.

You take a breath. “No thanks. Don’t care to hear. Good night Duke.” You hear his footsteps fade away, and you take several breaths, tilting your head as you see the small glimmer of hope. “Mrs. Nanami, hmm… I quite like that sound.” You whisper to yourself, picturing it.

A beautiful bride, a handsome husband, happiness, there would be no Nanami Kento fingering a maid in the gardens, there would be no Nanami Kento smacking you and downing you on your wedding night, and you sobbing on the cold marble floor of your room, alone.

No, he would adore you.

You hear Satoru slamming his own door to his bedchamber, you hear things flinging against the wooden walls, tentatively walking to where your walls connect, placing your forehead on it. You hear him then, cursing, and it breaks you when you hear pieces and words, wishing your stupid heart did not feel bad, wishing you were not so caring, so kind.

“Worthless… why can’t I… why did I… she’s not her… she’s in love… I can’t do this… fucking hell…” It’s a long time before he settles, and you choke on your own quiet sobs, wishing this stupid man could have not caused this. Somewhere deep in this evil manwhore is a tortured fucking soul, one you recognize, because you are also one, just wrapped in a pretty bow.

You find yourself sobbing right with him, wishing more than anything there was not this foolish barrier of his own making, that Satoru Gojo did not push everything away, and suffers alone. But you also suffer right along with him, struggling to swipe your tears away and laying in your bed, curled into a little ball, as you wonder at what a different life would be.

One where he just had tried.

That night you feel his presence again, feel Gojo’s long fingers caressing your cheek as you sleep, and for once you don’t pretend, you grab his wrist, opening your eyes and blinking in the dark. He gasps, tensing as he’s hovered over you, with his face too perfect to exist, so beautiful it makes you ache, makes you wish his soul was half that pretty.

But his soul was cold, dark, he was cold, dark, an icy pond that you’d be tempted to skate on, only to fall through the cracks, and lose your breath. And you feel his breath, blowing back your baby hairs on your forehead gently, as his blue eyes glitter even in the dark, the moonlight casting shadows on the sharp planes of his face.

“Why do you come here at night?” You ask finally, and he gulps, unmoving, lips parted but saying nothing. You scoff. “Of course, when will you answer anything.”

“I come here because you look like an angel in your sleep.” He says hoarsely, and you suck in a breath at that, as you hear his vulnerability, his thumb stroking the apple of your cheek. “I can forget how much I have hurt you, you look peaceful, I can… pretend.”

“I…” You don’t know how to answer, letting go of his wrist then, leaning up and clearing your throat. “I do not understand you.”

“I do not understand myself.” He says, sitting on your bed at the edge, but far too close, you can feel the heat of his body as you study him, his dark circles so prominent on his pale skin.

“Are you not sleeping well?” You ask then, sitting up and scooching back, feeling your cool silk pillows over your thin night shift. He laughs without humor.

“No, I’m not sleeping at all.” Satoru rakes a hand through his snow white hair, messier than it usually is. He has stubble you’ve never seen as well, his cheeks just a little hollowed.

“Maybe you miss your whores?” You ask, raising a brow, and he snorts, rolling his pretty blue eyes.

“Indeed, you seem to be the one fucking now, I have no time. I have too much to try to fix.”

“Ah, your father’s mess?”

“You know?”

“Just a bit. Seems he tripled the taxes in the villages.” Satoru nods, then looks at you carefully. “What is it?”

“A proposition.”

Your turn to snort. “What sort of proposition?”

“Not sex, do not worry. You have enough sex I’m sure, with your… Kento is his name, hmm?” You absentmindedly touch that necklace, and Satoru’s eyes dart to it curiously. “Do you like it, sex?”

You laugh at that, shaking your head and leaning up. “We are speaking of sex with each other?”

“Why not, we’re not together, we never will be. Perhaps we could at least not hate each other at the end of this?” You blink a bit in shock, leaning back.

“You will always hate me.” You whisper, the words like vitriol in your throat, and Satoru sighs, looking away, rubbing the back of his neck, his lips open and close, then repeating the action, making your mind run, what exactly was he thinking, and why were you still intrigued.

“I am trying not to hate you.” His words are soft, and just confusing. “I've been trying to avoid having another woman while we’re still together here, since that night, I know it was hurtful to you…”

You glare as you remember it, his nasty words, his slaps… his kiss, fuck you wish you remembered th… “The night you fucked the ‘entire brothel’ you mean?”

“Two women.”

“Oh, only two!”

He glares. “Insolent brat. Will you let me finish?”

You sigh. “Fine then.

“I  was hurt that you seem to not want me, not one bit, do you? You wanted another man.” He bites out the words carefully, as you hear that hurt in his voice, the voice that had been so tortured.

You glare. “And you want other women.”

“I should have understood what you did, I pushed you there.” His voice breaks, vulnerable, as his fists clench and unclench. “I thought I could fix everything in one goddamn day, but you were already gone.”

“I was never here, really, you never let me be.” You’re struggling to keep in your emotions in the quiet night, but Gojo has tears trailing down his face, as he leans close, and you stop him. “Do not kiss me.”

“I was not going to. Just…” He brushes your hair back, touching your cheek gently, and you shiver, at how that touch alone ruins you, as he runs a thumb along your lower lip, eyes staring so intensely you feel them like a touch. “Of course anyone would want you, I was the one who denied you your marital rights. Of course you want an annulment. Who would want to be with me?”

You frown then, as his long white lashes lower. “All I know is your cruelty, Duke Gojo. I know nothing but that you did not want me.”

“But it was all a lie. All of it. I… it matters naught, I imagine this… Kento makes you happy, pleased?” You nod, and he fingers the little charm, flipping it over and then looking back at you. “Does he cum in you?”

“What!?” You smack his hand, glaring. “Do you cum in your mistresses?”

“Fuck no. I don’t want brats.” You sigh, rolling your eyes.

“That is about what I expected. Even when you marry a woman you love, and not me?” You ask, and he shakes his head.

“I will not have children, it’s best this way. I would not be a good father.” Your heart breaks then, for this cruel man, for this messy, fucked up Duke who you should not even speak to.

“Why do you think that?” You ask then, softly, and he smirks just a bit, brushing his fingers along your collarbone, goosebumps raising up, your nipples taut in the sheer gown, apparent more and more with your quick breaths. He notices, clearly, licking a full lower lip, as you tense, but he does not do more, his jaw locks.

“I am afraid I’d be like my father. I look just like him. They say I even act like him, and maybe I do.” You wonder then, what his father has done, but you should not care, it’s no excuse for him, none.

Why do you care?

“I will never talk to my child as my mother does.” You say softly, and he smiles a bit, dropping his hand, now resting on your thigh over a soft blanket.

“I know you would not.”

“Thus, we do not become our parents, but it’s ultimately up to you if you want children, it does not have anything to do with me. Well, it won’t soon.”

He blinks through more emotion, and fuck you just want to hug him, hold him, and how can you want this, how can you!? What is this lingering feeling squeezing your heart like a vise, ruining your goddamn soul? Why can you feel the very breath being sucked out of your lungs as you study this cold, broken, beautiful man.

“You are too kind, you know. Even when you’re nasty and use your tongue to whip those cruel comments, you’re still kind.” You bite your lower lip, brows drawing together as he studies you. “I suppose I have no right to ask about sex, I just would not like a child, especially another man.”

“He does not cum in me.” You say then, flushed, as you watch his fists clench on your blankets. “He cums on me.”

“On you? Ah.” He clears his throat, as you have the most awkward conversation you can imagine, talking to your husband about your lover. “And you cum?”

You’re blushing furiously, brushing your hair back, as you feel heat rising between your thighs. “Yes, I do.”

“During sex?”

“Yes.”

“Well at least you’re getting fucked properly.” You giggle then, at the ridiculous nature of this, and he looks at you with narrowed eyes.

“What do you care if I am? It would still be me getting fucked.”

“And how much do you cum?”

You roll your eyes. “During sex? Once or twice. The first time… it hurt a bit. Now it’s much more pleasurable.”

“Once or twice.” He smirks then, eyes drifting down your body slowly, and you clear your throat, blush back in full force as he assesses you. “That’s good for foreplay, but I try to have my women cumming until they can’t function.”

You gulp, throat dry now, fiddling with the bow on your bodice. “Kento is a caring, gentle lover to me. He cares about my pleasure.”

“Yes, well.” He leans forward, until your noses almost touch, and you inhale Satoru’s sweet scent, feel his cool breath on your overheated lips. “You’ll not find out, but I am not gentle, I fuck and I fuck hard. I’d fuck the shit out of you, beat that pretty pussy up till it’s a puffy mess, have your knees so weak you collapse.”

You say nothing, your heart pounding in your chest, as vivid images fill your addled brain, and all you can whisper is - “Ah.”

He chuckles just a bit, running his fingers up and down your cheek again. “Want to know why I really haven’t fucked anyone since the night you told me?”

“Why?” You whisper, eyes darting to his lips, struggling to keep your composure, where is your composure?

“Because I can’t cum, they can’t get me off, not when it’s you in my head, even knowing you’re fucking him, I’d choose you over anyone. And I hate it.” He speaks through gritted teeth, pulling your hair gently then, and you can’t stop the pathetic whine, and oh he notices.

“Why can’t you cum? You could before?”

“I haven’t been able to finish since you dripped down my mouth.”

“You could lick someone else?”

“I have.” You hate the lurch in your stomach. “It’s not special anymore, I suppose, thought I’d try it out. But it did nothing for me. Suppose the brothel workers enjoyed.”

“You are skilled.” He smirks again and you glare. “Somewhat.”

“Somewhat indeed. But no, Princess, I wouldn’t take it easy, especially now that you’re not a virgin, I’d have your legs in the air, fucking you so deep I bruise your insides, so deep I’m everywhere.” He says softly, as if he’s saying something sweet and not lewd, not ridiculous. You shiver as you feel that ache for him, the one that never goes away, the one you despise.

“I did not see you go so rough with your mistresses.” You say, and he grins fully now, with his sharp teeth.

“I said with you. I’d take out my anger on that perfect, tight little cunt, I’d fucking ruin you for him, until you’re crying pretty tears, covered in my cum, covered in bite marks, ass bruised from my smacks.” You have no clue what he means, but you’re fucking wet, hot and sticky, and his eyes lower as if the mother fucker could tell. “You’ll not have to find out, no worries.”

“Indeed.” Your voice breaks, and you clear your throat. “I very much enjoy my lover, I will not stop seeing him.”

“Here’s the proposition. You will stop fucking him just until we’re not together, and I also will see no women.”

“What, I do not believe you!”

“You have my word.”

“Why do I care!?”

“Because, I will give you the full dowry back, and agree to the annulment.” You gasp at that, looking at him wide eyed. “I never wanted it. Give it to your children you have with your baker.”

“I… that’s so generous?” You whisper, and Satoru shrugs.

“I’m rich enough. I’ll agree to it in a month’s time, but I need you to make appearances at the villages with me, help me make it right. You’re a lot kinder, and so loved by people, they will listen to you. If you can… pretend as we have been, a little longer, I will sign it with no issues, and even tell our families it’s our decision.”

“You only want me to help you?”

“Yes, I cannot do it alone, and… even if you’ll be gone soon, it would help me tremendously. Also, if I can make some amends to the horrible man I’ve been, and perhaps help you get rid of me, let you be happy…” He touches that gold necklace, and your heart is racing so hard you think it will just jump out. “Let you have children, have a smile on your face.”

“Why!? Why couldn’t you have been this way before!” You say then, so goddamn frustrated, and he frowns, looking away, locking up. Of course he is. “Why could you have not tried! Was I so terrible at first?”

“You were nothing but perfect. It’s all on me.” He clears his throat, leaning close, as you lean back, and he smiles sadly.

“So why no Nanami?”

“Just… please, give me that one thing. And you’ll be free soon to be with him as much as you want.” He says then, and you sigh, thinking of how you will explain this to Nanami, who was already so… possessive. What would this do to him?

But this was a good idea, and you could be free to marry him, to move on, and have enough money to take care of any children. And Satoru helping you with both of your parents was invaluable. All to just pretend for a bit, and you do not mind helping the village or it’s inhabitants.

“I’ll do it.” You say then, holding your hand out for a shake, and he takes it, smiling a bit, the corner of his lips quirking, as he brings it to his lips, shocking you, Satoru was no gentleman.

“I do not deserve your kindness, but it’s appreciated. I should… leave you to your sleep.” You want to pull him to you, you want to kiss his pretty lips, as you sit there, eyes wide as you look at him, as he stands, and your hand still grip his. “What, you want a demonstration of how I’d ruin you for anyone?”

“No, you dick!” You scowl, smacking him then, and he’s chuckling, that devious grin far too attractive.

“Your nipples lie every time.”

“I’m cold, being around such a cold man.” You say, crossing your arms over your breasts, only for him to lean down, pressing his full lips to your cheek, then your jaw, then your ear. You hate how your head falls back, how your cunt throbs from just that around nothing, how you bite your lip so hard.

“Oh Princess, I am actually… burning hot. Burning for you.” You cry out, shaking your head, and he sighs, hand cupping your face, tilting your chin up to stare at him in the night. “I do burn for you, but you don’t want me, and I don’t blame you. I will let you be, once I get some progress done. I can keep to myself.”

“I… oh. Um. All right.” You say then, raising your brows as he pecks a sweet kiss on you temple. “How can I trust you’re not lying?”

“You cannot take my word I am sure, but I will honor the deal. In a month’s time you can be free of me.” The pain in his voice almost breaks you, but you nod, trying to suck up your emotions. “We have an accord, Princess?”

“We have an accord, Duke.”

“Seal it with a kiss?”

“No!” He’s chuckling, ruffling your hair as he stands then, heading toward the door, and every part of your stupid body is begging him to come back, so you shove it down hard. But… “Duke Gojo?”

He turns at the door, eyes dark from the shadows, but you feel it, his desire mirroring yours, but it’s stupid, and foolish, and what’s it matter!? So what if he’s not a whore for a moment, he would soon not be yours, and you not his, and you both could live your lives.

It was ideal.

“Um, good night.” You mumble, unsure why you stopped him in the first place, and you watch his face soften, before hardening a bit, lips in a firm line.

“Good night, Princess.” It sounds too good coming from Satoru Gojo’s lips, and you wish you could not enjoy them so much, could ignore everything this man does to you. Are you stupid to believe him? “I swear, I will keep my word.” He cuts off your thoughts, as if he read them yourself, and you give him a little nod, pulling your comforter over yourself, shivering in the chill of the room.

“I will believe you and keep our agreement.” You say softly, and he nods a bit, eyes lingering, then he leaves, shutting your door with a quiet click.

What was that?

What were you thinking?

But somehow, you feel he was being sincere, for once, and you want to trust him, that he was sincere, that somewhere in there was a decent human being. He wanted to help others, and perhaps you could leave this with less hatred and pain in your heart, but there is one looming thought beating you senseless, ruining your mind, your heart, your soul.

That if you spend time with Satoru, your feelings will develop beyond whatever insane passion you feel, and you cannot open up to him, you must comparmentalize it, see it as a partnership, so you can both be free. It’s what he wanted, right, to not be with you?

She’s not her.

I’m trying not to hate you.

I should hate you.

You’re just like-

Who was she? It’s a thought that keeps you up for some time, until you finally fade into a restless sleep, one where you dream of Nanami, and his heart broken over you, because you’ve hurt him again. And you’re left alone, on the side of the cobblestone streets, having destroyed everything.

You wake up in a cold sweat, walking over to your little pedestal sink, rinsing your face carefully, looking in the mirror, and you start to wonder, who are you? You’re not that girl you were when you got here, and you can barely remember who she was anymore, so consumed by Satoru Gojo and now Nanami Kento.

You lean over the sink, feeling sick, as your hands touch the mirror of your looking glass, and your head rests upon it. You picture Satoru’s arms around you, picture him fucking you like he said, rough and brutal, perhaps choking you, smacking you, until you can’t walk.

You see it, you feel it, brutal grip and his huge cock, as he’s got those long fingers wrapped around your throat, only to punch the mirror angrily, only serving to hurt your own fist. You shake it, cursing yourself as you hold your hand to you, as you feel the anguish take you over.

Who are you?

Until the next, dear masochistic readers <3

Part Nine