#and isolated and alone and in pain

[tea-cat-arts]

Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will

[youngchronicpain]

You do not deserve the pain that you are in. I am sorry that you are hurting. I am hurting too. I wish things were different. But I am glad that we are not alone in this.

[fairycosmos]

i cant imagine how weird it is to make ventposts and have the entirety of tumblr reblog them and just adding whatever in the tags 😭 stay strong

LMAO i always forget people can see my posts until someone adds a character tag to me like. talking about wanting to kill myself and then i'm like fuck this is real and visible and on others people's screens right now in this moment

[hannahcrazyhawk]

“The loneliest moment in someone’s life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly.”

— F. Scott Fitzgerald

[angellurgy2]

in the backs of my eyes, light does not reach. black and white, monochrome stars, inky null and blinding full.  others dream, and my thoughtlessness seeks.  though i cannot see, and though i cannot breathe  in every moment my eyes breach free- i dream. not for grandeur, not for fillment,  i dream of nothing but hope.  for days where i could, for the days i would dream.  sitting in the back seat. squalid radio turned to rage. looking at her shoulder’s locks, dreaming of the cage. taken to my first bar, shown my first rave not forgotten, not forsaken, the only love i will take to my grave. cigarettes and mud, alleys and grunge all i wanted was saving.  gone so far, seeded so deep, until it whittled into camaraderie. when the shows over, she’d take me home and leave me in her bed. that night i would be cherished, and that morning we'd be fed. i see their faces in my dreams, as every possibility, every tangle, every thread, every filament held together. like a bastion of memory, creating false to fill the empty. to grant hope to a greyscale null. * * starlight ash, the null of the void, the hopes of a begotten child. is there anything to hear, when the screams are of fear, or choking of brittle and tears? his hopes were so mild, his rage was unbridled, how could she be any different? feel her eyes shiver, feel her soul take, feel the ties of the poverished ingrate. your help cannot find it, your thoughts cannot find it, your hands cannot feel it, your heart cannot take it, your legs cannot shake it and your teeth cannot break it.  in every part of you is her no matter how hard you fight it has been the end of her not of her blight. only of her light.

[angelnumber27]

It’s so embarrassing and heartbreaking being in so much pain over losing someone while knowing they don’t give a fuck if you live or die. Your favorite person becoming a stranger is a special kind of hell.

[velvetrooibos]

I am completely obsessed with @amyinthebelljar ‘s vampire fic I’m OBSESSED god please give him a break

[cuteniaarts]

Digitalised + coloured + redesigned version of my Suiren and Vaatu sketch from two days ago, as promised!!

Coming up with Suiren’s design was a very long process of trying and failing because after you’ve drawn 9+ different versions of one character, the creativity starts to run a little dry, but I’m actually really proud of this one, she looks absolutely adorable <3

(Also yeah I did mostly just scribble Vaatu’s pattern because who has the energy to draw the all out accurately. Not me, that’s who, I’m chronically tired. People who draw him on the regular have my utmost respect. He’s still a funky little guy though :D)

Bonus, Raava incessantly screaming inside Suiren (and being completely ignored because Suiren is tired of her) while all this is happening:

[in-tenebris-et-in-solitudine]

Eat Clean

[itspileofgoodthings]

is everything terrible or is it just the damp of the first spring rain

[moominpopzz]

Anyways the Winters family dog will always be a service dog to me,,, sources? Absolutely none, but it would make so much sense. I mean the torment Ashe has definitely gone through mentally and physically since her moms death, a service dog would be absolutely perfect for her and Mark both

[coquelicoq]

incredibly moved whenever someone tells me that i'm an easy person to be around when they're going through some shit. there's nothing more sacred to me than sitting with someone through death and grief and loss, things that i can't fix or do anything about except be there and let them feel their feelings without having to pretend to be chipper or hopeful or cheeruppable. i can't pretend to feel what i don't feel, which makes me weird and awkward in so many interpersonal situations, but i think it's also what makes people feel comfortable sharing this stuff with me, because they know that i won't judge them and they don't have to perform for me. i feel so lucky when i can provide that for somebody. i wouldn't trade it for anything.

[heart-songs]

Beginning of November

The light is winter light You’ve already felt it before you can open your eyes, and now it’s too late to prepare yourself for this gray originless sorrow that’s filling the room. It’s not winter. The light is. The light is winter light, and you’re alone. At last you get up: and suddenly notice you’re holding your body without the heart to curse its lonely life, it’s suffering from cold and from winter light that fills the room like fear. And all at once you hug it tight, the way you might hug somebody you hate, if he came to you in tears.

- Franz Wright, Rorschach Test

[makotonaegiunderstander]

do you ever go do autism crazy for something you can feel it in ur chest. like it’s hard to breathe almost it’s making you gasp for breath and jump around physically. got an adrenaline rush thinking abt Kirigiri.

[gloriousgalaxycollection]

Consume or condemn me

On one hand I’m happy. I feel the consuming fire of wanting to become one with you, of wanting to be consumed by you, mind, body, and soul. On the other hand, I’m bitter and shrewd. I want nothing but to be left alone to my own psychosis and strangeness, living on the edges of cliffs and in the trees, and tormenting the mind of men whose own delusions drive innocent women to madness.

In my dreams you’re in my heart, and when I wake up you’re no where to be found, except in my hands and bed.

[fellhellion]

tbh i don’t even think miguel’s breakdown rant about miles’ existence as “anomaly” spiderman causing the death of 1610 peter is even about peter, or even quite abt miles. it’s about the idea that somehow 1610 peter could’ve shut down the collider if it weren’t for miles, even though miles’ presence didn’t actually affect peter’s death in any way. it’s about the idea that peter could’ve prevented a reality - that is, anomalies getting slingshotted throughout the multiverse - that miguel feels like he’s buckling under the emotional burden of (”And all this time, I have been the only one holding it all together!”). But even that’s not quite it, it’s about the fact that Miguel has been sitting on the resentment of feeling like he’s utterly alone in this burden, when in reality he’s not. When he created a structure designed to help share that burden between people who should understand it the most. But he won’t - can’t - ask for help bearing the emotional burden because it’s not even quite about the anomalies, it’s about Gabriella. But you deserve to suffer for it, you deserve to hurt. You dwell and grieve her and a mistake you won’t forgive youself for over and over again, all while hiding away and refusing to confide in the people who care about you how badly you’re spiraling, all while a part of you resents them for not knowing, even as they couldn’t know.