#and isolate autistic people

[summoner-of-mist]

I think the weird friend thing is like an autism thing? Cuz sometimes you really get into a person then they just fuck off with no closure and its like what the hell happened. It's wack and I agree it's hard making friends, but I didn't find a best friend until I was like 30 so there's still time for sure but I very feel you on how hard it is

having any kind of relationships as an autistic is so fuckin hard fam and its even worse when you really like other people and want to spend time with them but no one feels the same about you no matter what you do or how much you change yourself 😭😭😭

and it also sucks because i think im pretty good at masking and my social skills are not any worse irl than most average peoples i think but i guess the NTs can just sniff out the autism or somethin so 💀💀💀

[ashleyloob]

during the summer I was isolating and depressed bc of it and craving social interaction so bad being stuck in my room for weeks on end. but I have attended 4 Halloween parties this month and my desire to touch grass has never been so low and I want to retreat back into a hole and disintegrate. why is it so hard to find a reasonable medium

[kingofpeacows]

A lot of the time when people bring up Bart Allen as being super autistic coded, they're bringing it up in conjuction with the rest of YJ (which, yes, I love autistic friendship) but sometimes I just wanna talk about Bart Allen.

I wanna talk about the kid who doesn't understand he's getting bullied and managed to be friends with everyone because of it. I wanna talk about the kid who is so bad at holding a conversation everyone thinks he's some sort of brooding asshole. I wanna talk about the kid who KNOWS that the older, more popular kids talk to him and dare him to do stupid stuff because "of course Bart will do it" and does it anyway because he likes making people laugh. I wanna talk about the kid who knows he's doing something wrong socially but he doesn't know what and wants nothing more than to fix it. I wanna talk about the kid who knows he's different but still thinks the rest of the world is the problem. I wanna talk about the kid who's so smart and so brave but everyone only sees him as some mess-up idiot. I wanna talk about the emotional kid who got bullied for being robotic and unemotional because allistic people can't grasp what his world looks like. I wanna talk about the kid who wouldn't know sarcasm from truth. I wanna talk about the kid who's low-empathy but does everything he can to be compassionate. I wanna talk about the kid who's surrounded by people, but still feels so alone because no one else understands his world.

Sometimes I just wanna talk about Bart Allen.

[beneathsilverstars]

anyway related to my "gullible" post i do think bonnie didn't really have a lot of friends / any good friends. i'm taking a watsonian approach to "some of the things bonnie does seem more like age 5-8 than 10-12", and a doylist approach to "everyone in this party grew up kinda lonely and feels disconnected from their peer group"

[outlawssweetheart]

I'm just a girl pondering my favorite autistic-coded characters. 😌 (And the characters who aren't exactly "coded," but I can see the vision. 😌)

[itsabouttimex2]

Do you think your biases can affect how you interact with the fandoms and people within them or are you too into your interpretations to and opinions to properly understand and listen to those that differ?

Asking since I really like your stuff but you feel unapproachable sometimes and I’m a little worried about getting scolded/j

If I ever come off as unapproachable, I really am sorry about that. I’ll be honest about the fact that I’m pretty bad at expressing myself, and I’ve spent a lifetime of being written off when not outright discriminated against (I live in a very religious state) when I do speak up, so I’ve developed a very blunt (and often harsh) way of communicating that I’ve come to realize translates poorly to how people communicate on the web- I’ve been working on amending that and adopting a more neutral tone both for my fanfiction and any commentary I have- but I’ll confess that I’m still not perfect at it.

Part of being autistic is that the world is presented to me through a set of “filters” that make it hard for me to properly convey and infer tone, intention, seriousness, etc, and I’ll be honest about that too- how the average person thinks and feels to me is utterly alien. My own perspectives and morals can be just as alien to others as theirs are to me, so I don’t blame people for being confused or put off.

That being said, I am genuinely open to the perspectives of other people- I’ve said this before, but I am willing to have my view changed when a good counterargument is provided.

And, no matter who you are or what perspective you have, I am legitimately open to communicating- whether you’d like to make a request when my inbox is open, ask about my AUs or perspective, or send a DM- I do sincerely like hearing from people.

(I’m really not the scolding sort, I swear! I’ll snipe at fandom trends and plot holes, but the everyday anon is off the table.)

[statisticalcats2]

I'm becoming more and more skeptical of the concept of bad acting.

"People don't act/talk like that."

Maybe you just haven't met enough people.

[emerald-grove]

Ok so you know how you can ask Halsin his opinion of you

And at higher ones he’s like “I’m sorry I put you on this pedestal but you surpassed even that and you’re amazing”

Imagine the person who understands idolizing someone isn’t doing them a favor or being kind to the point where they apologize for doing it to someone they care about

@autistichalsin

[tea-and-secrets]

my secret is that i don't think i have a future. i'm turning 18 in a month, maybe by the time you post this ask i will already be 18 for a while, but well, im not there yet. i just finished high school kicking and screaming, literally thought i wouldn't survive it to the point i was considering ending it all several times, but i finished it. now what? now i know i have to go to uni but i also know i won't be able to make it through. i barely scraped by with high school and now my mental health is at an all time low (thought 2021 was my worst year but life is full of surprises) and if college is harder than high school like people say it is, then i'm just royally fucked. it does not help that i don't know who i want to be in life. i'm bilingual and have language skills, but if i study for a translator job then it's just like-- who even needs it? i live in russia. my country is in shambles and so is its economy and relationship with other countries. russia does not need a fucking translator because everybody hates it and for good reason. i can't imagine any future for myself here. when i was a kid it all seemed so clear to me, i would grow up and live with my best friend and be happy and have a job i love. now whenever i think of being grown up my mind just comes up blank. my best friend has probably forgotten that we ever wanted to live together, or they just left the idea behind because it was so childish and unrealistic. i feel like i've been drifting away from them as well as my entire friend group for the past 2 years. i'm autistic, so i just don't see the world the same way they do. i used to love being aroace before i realized it's distancing me from my friends, because now they all have partners or they're yearning for partners or talking about all the sex they've had and i just have nothing to add to the conversation. i don't smoke or drink, so i guess now i'm just not as interesting to hang out with as when we were all 15 and sober. so yeah. i guess i just dont know what im going to do or what's going to happen to me. i've spent the last few years feeling more and more isolated and sinking into depression. if i get into college, i don't know what it's going to do to me, but it makes me fear for my life. if i don't get into it, then i dont know what im going to do at all. maybe my real secret is that i was put on this earth to draw gay people and not like, have a life and relationships. oh well.

.

[a-hollow-forest]

controversial opinion but maybe they aren't a bad friend just because they don't live up to neurotypical standards of friendship and sure maybe they aren't giving you what you have come to Just Expect out of a relationship but you never even considered asking what would make them feel valued in the first place because what makes you feel valued is the 'norm' and the only 'acceptable' way to be friends so why would you even bother to check before just deciding they're a shit person who deserves to be alone

[aq2003]

pairing ten's "will just kind of let himself be used as a vessel for romance if someone makes the first move" trait with his "spent a whole season not catching that his codependence insanity bestie was in love with him" trait means that if martha had made like astrid or christina and confessed/kissed him outright i think they would have entered a 10x more nightmarish toxic relationship where ten would attempt to get on the comphet grind to ignore his ptsd and depression harder and martha would have to speedrun all the highlights of a loveless marriage with a 20th century war veteran that never learned what being aroace is. i think she would have to leave and never talk to him again

[soullessjack]

so im on s5 of miraculous and i keep thinking about cat noirs whole “kept at a distance” arc bc it’s genuinely really interesting but gets so wasted by always winding up with him basically validating ladybugs nonsensical decisions and treatment—the same treatment that we were already shown upset him enough to destroy public properly about it. the most consistent reason LB ever gives cat about why he can’t be fully trusted or relied on is that he’s too much of a liability for their partnership to work—either because he’s too reckless, too in love with her, or his cataclysm would be too dangerous to use.

whatever it is, the baseline is that she thinks he’s a liability, and obviously that’s like salt in the wound for cat since he genuinely loves her and enjoys being partners with her, but it’s also just sad to see him continue to respect her decision and act like it isn’t a problem for him when he’s literally upset enough to physically lash out and use his powers to do so. and I know a lot of it can probably be explained by ladybug’s experience in the cat blanc timeline, but 1) she starts holding him at a distance way before that even happens, 2) she’s actively making it worse by not telling cat noir about cat blanc and why she thinks she has to exclude him for his own safety, and 3) SHE SHOULD HAVE TOLD HIM ABOUT CAT BLANC TO BEGIN WITH BECAUSE IT’S LITERALLY A WORLD ENDING SITUATION INVOLVING HIM DIRECTLY‼️‼️‼️‼️

instead she just allows him think he’s unwanted and unnecessary, calls the shots on how he should feel about “having more free time” and ironically makes him even more susceptible to being Akumatized because of it. ladybug might not be aware that cat is adrien and has a terrible home life he actively uses his miraculous to escape from, but she’s playing right into all the key aspects that adrien resents from his father; she decides what he wants without considering or asking him, she trusts him conditionally and still distances herself enough for him to just not know certain things. it’s done with good intentions, but it still clearly affects adrien very poorly, and it’s just such a frustrating glass-chewing miscommunication that only needlessly complicates the situation

don’t even get me started on Kuro Neko where ladybug falls head over heels for the changed version of her partner and narrowly avoiding her having to actually screw up and learn a lesson about accepting cat for who he actually is because catwalker is just “too perfect” for her to function—instead of being an obedient idealized version of her best friend who lets her be in control of everything (WHEN ADRIEN LITERALLY USES HIS DOUBLE LIFE TO HAVE THE CONTROL HE DOESN’T GET AT HOME).

theres so much potential for the base concept of the miraculous of destruction and its Kwami/holder being distrusted outliers among the rest of the Kwami/holders, but the magic system sucks and it kind of loses any chance when the other Kwamis are established to be catastrophic if they use their powers without a holder. and it gets even more confusing if you consider that Fu specifically chose adrien to hold that miraculous, but then encourages Marinette to keep her distance from him and barely acknowledges him as a hero in general. Like why did you even bother testing adrien for his worthiness or whatever if you obviously don’t think he’s worthy of knowing anything about you or the rest of the miraculous OR his best friend’s identity??? but you’re totally okay with her just giving them out to anyone in Paris who’s conveniently around and having her know their identity???? master fu when I catch you master fu

auugghhhfgg I don’t know the magic system thing could be its own separate post but likeeeeee I just think the miraculous of destruction whos constantly mistrusted for no reason and goes Kamehameha Krazy in another timeline is very special and could be treated so much better if the writers were good at their job and didn’t make every character’s sole purpose be validating ladybug/marinette even when she’s in the wrong

[autisticlee]

"good people are out there you just need to get out and find them"

cool thanks. but i'm too tired to keep ~going out and looking for them~ i'm too tired to keep trying, using up all my energy, getting super overwhelmed and burnt out after just a couple weeks of trying as hard as I can, met with other people barely trying back or not being very responsive, and needing to recover from it for a year or more each time because it overwhelms and burns me out so bad. I get nowhere no matter how hard I try, all i get is uselesss advice from people i try to befriend who dont want the responsibility of friending me. i'm tired of trying beyond my limits and causing more issues for myself. or dealing with issues I get from meeting the "wrong" people. if the "right" people exist, why can't they find me? why does it have to be only my job? i'm too tired and overwhelmed and burnt out to do it!!!!! the right people will just easily help and be there for me right? so I guess i just have to keep waiting for them for all eternity????? i'm tired of waiting. give me more than "just wait/keep trying/don't give up" because those instructions unclear and my useless attempts are very discouraging and exhausting and i'm so overwhelmed that i'm losing the ability to even socialize at a minimum at all now!!!!

if humans are meant to be social creatures and we require positive interactions with each other to stay healthy, then why do humans ostracize their own? why do some of us struggle so much and are denied any help and instead blamed? why can't I be given advice on how to live a lonely life without anyone else by my side instead of being told "one day! keep trying! you need people because it's essential to being human!" even though i've been waiting for "one day" for 25 years and could wait 25 more, or even longer? I don't know what i'm doing wrong or how to improve it so waiting is all I have. what if I wait forever?

[milimeters-morales]

Them (Miles Margo Gwen) all having issues with a social life is real nice. Gwen shutting herself off from other people and not learning some important social/people skills + Margo being in an online space nearly 24/7, her family issues, and her universe in general not really being an in-person place + Miles being a social butterfly who doesn’t actually form bonds with other kids easily at all. Gwen and Margo can probably bond over not using the right manners around certain people, or accidentally disrespecting someone else’s property, or a low impulse control when it comes to being with ACTUAL friends that you like and trust. Miles probably didn’t really think that he had a problem with his social life because yknow, switching schools changes that, and some people just aren’t people you hang with outside of school, but now that Gwen and Margo actually expect to hang out and call him, and he starts expecting the same and calling them, he’s realizing “ah i was missing this!!!!” they all make each other’s world go round each time they realize something they were doing wasn’t considered “normal”

[gh0st-city]

Genuine question: how does one get better at making friends when autistic, queer, disabled and in their early 20s?

The more I try, the more it feels impossible

[cursed-spirit-manipulation]

jjk is about a lot of things but most of all with regard to Shoko Satoru and Suguru it's about how if you don't interact with people who aren't in your weird fucked up school with like 10 ppl total on a regular basis you WILL become an incredibly interesting adult in a way that makes people pity you