#and is extremely emotionally abusive.
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I wanna say Big Mom is the worst parent I write. But I also write Judge.
#ooc ;; 𝙢𝙮 𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘥𝘰𝘭𝘱𝘩𝘪𝘯#no i think big mom is worse#maybe.#she tbinks her kids are toys.#judge disowned one of his children for not being a proper weapon.#but he does still genuinely care about his other kids.....even if he removed their emotions through the process of experimentation#and enhancement before they were even born so.#big mom would also eat her kids. if she was hungry enough.#and is extremely emotionally abusive.#so.#yknow.#you decide who the better parent is <3
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You guys ever think about the tragedy that is Junko Enoshima? That she wasn't a sadistic girl seeking out to hurt others for sadistic glee?
Because everything Junko did was her trying to emotionally abuse herself? That she wanting to feel something so badly that she hurt the people she loved most, and even brought about ruin to the world, simply to destroy herself with it?
#junko enoshima#danganronpa#me prior to working on Twins AU: Junko is a poor villain character with little to her aside from sadism#me after actually working hard on Twins AU: .... Wait#the moment I saw something there my brain latched onto it tbh#Like this girl was so miserable with life due to boredom that she#actively#Chose to hurt herself emotionally and mentally#to the point of self destruction#because she literally had nothing else in her life she could enjoy#I think she easily felt love and joy but they had thick layers of boredom to the#them*#And that made them hard to actually enjoy#But despair is an overbearing feeling that consumes you#grief consumes you without fail#And because she learned how strongly she hated herself upon bringing harm to those she loved and all that#The pain so encompassing and engulfing with no boredom to muddy it#The feeling became addicting to her#So she grew more and more extreme with her abuse and self destruction#Until she decided to bring about the destruction of the world#Which if we follow the logic#Kinda weird of Junko who is chasing despair like a drug for her to like#want to destroy the entire world#if she harbored no affection for it#If in her selfish chase for the biggest pain she could feel in her life#if she hated the world why chase the end of it? That would be easy. That would be what she wants. And that's boring.#But if a part of Junko genuinely loved the world she lived in? Destroying it would bring about an unfathomable despair for her#Anyway that is to say Junko is an awful abuser and awful person#But this situation is similar to how I see Kenzo#''If only things were different so you wouldn't have become the monster you are now'' Kind of Tragedy
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It's 100% true that the Roy siblings did not choose to be Logan's children and Tom and Greg and the old guard did choose to work for him so their relationships to Logan are fundamentally different, and the degree of culpability they bear for their own moral degradation is also wildly different. But workplace emotional abuse is also very real and omnipresent in the way Logan treats the people who work for him. And one of the impacts of workplace emotional abuse is creating an extreme attachment to the abuser and becoming less cognizant and even defensive of their abuse towards yourself and others, and in cases where the emotional abuse is institutionalized and systemic it can also create a strong aversion to leaving because your whole sense of personal identity becomes wrapped up in the organization and so being forced to leave can cause an intense psychological crisis. I don't think the situation of working for Logan is at all equivalent to being his child but I also think that it's a bit misguided to imply that Tom and Gerri and Frank and Karl are operating from a place of pure rationality without any undue psychological influences when they make the choice to stay with and support Logan
#used to work at a place that had an extremely emotionally abusive president for years and years and the people who worked there long term#were FUCKED UP. it was wild#i think it's easy to overlook that on succ bc it's very secondary to whats going on with the roy family proper. as it should be#but I also think one of the questions succ explores in tom as a character (and others) is how difficult it can be to leave these situations#even if you did choose to get into them#I don't think 'tom can leave at any time' is really a fair assessment bc technically yes. but practically? psychologically?#like yes he bears responsibility for getting himself into this situation due to his own greed and selfishness in a way the roy kids do not#but that doesn't mean it's easy or straightforward to walk away#also. tom is married to shiv which places him in the unique position where the only way to walk away is to cut off both his wife#and the company he's spent his whole life at#he could have NOT married shiv this is very true. and I think the choice to marry her even after she lied to him about sleeping with nate#means that he did have some idea of what he was getting into. he knew this was not going to be the fairytale marriage he wanted#he already knew about cruises too. he knew waystar was corrupt#that moment was the opportunity to walk away and he did NOT take it#and that is on him#but that does not making walking away now any easier
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dumbledore and snape were good peo- *LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER*
#anti dumbledore#anti snape#this is a dumbledore hate page#they were both extremely manipulative and abusive#it's obviously not that black and white#but i will disagree with the snape and dumbledore apologists til the day I die#like??#hello???#wdym they loved harry?#snape physically mentally and emotionally abused him every day#and dumbledore manipulated him all of his life#thank you for coming to my ted talk
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i feel like i should start making more of an effort, when i talk about something in a piece of media being Upsetting to me, to distinguish between 'cathartic' upsetting and 'gave me psychic damage' upsetting. sometimes i mean OUGH OW MY FEELINGS THIS FUCKS ME UP IN A MEANINGFUL AND RESONANT WAY, MY LIFE IS ENRICHED FOR BECOMING AWARE OF IT and sometimes i mean that it is genuinely distressing and i want to shake the creators and ask what the fuck they were thinking
#whosebaby talks#blog policy#this goes double when it comes to pieces of media to which i have both reactions lmao#i worry sometimes that not being clear about it makes it come across as if i'm saying 'something containing upsetting subject matter is Bad#when in fact a lot of upsetting subject matter is critical to depict; diversely so and often#and i am fiercely protective of the rep that resonates with me#which a lot of people are extremely quick to label as A Disrespectful Depiction absolutely no matter how it's done bc they want it erased#and use 'well it's only valid if it's done *respectfully*' as the Shirley Exception; with no intention of ever letting one be Allowed#but in spite of that there *are* absolutely fucking horrible and incredibly disrespectful ways for Upsetting Subject Matter to be depicted#and that deserves well-informed discussion and criticism; starting from an understanding of the actual purposes of fiction#and what infrastructure and language and framing and technique is used to achieve those purposes#and sometimes the purposes of a particular use are fucking awful! and executed in ways designed to cause real damage + get away with it!#so when i'm talking about something being Upsetting in the psychic damage sense; i'm referring to that#and the fact that not only is it infuriating and upsetting to witness that process in action#it amplifies the already deeply emotionally loaded subject matter; which may already require selfcare to engage with even when cathartic#and then yanks away the catharsis and just leaves you blasted in the face by uncushioned unvarnished Oh Right This Horrible Thing Exists#Thanks for Shoving My Face Straight into Boiling Acid Asshole#anyway complicated feelings about it but yeah i feel like i should try to be clearer lmao#(this isn't just about depictions of SA; and abuse in the sense most people think of first when they hear the word)#(although it comes up in that context often)#(see: Big Screan at pretty much everything with the talking animals in sd/mi but especially the fucking asylum lmao)
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2024 year of charlie gets a fucking break (hopefully. maybe. tbd.)
#ctxt#i'm on medication that's reduced my post-hysterectomy pain by about 70%#i have an intake appointment with a physical therapist in march & a referral to start trigger point injections#to hopefully finally recover as completely as possible from the nightmarish neuropathy that's plagued me since uuuhhhh#going on 2 years ago. holy shit. genuinely can't believe i've been surviving & functioning as well as i have for this long#while suffering a disabling & extremely painful surgical complication. fuck my original surgeon for brushing me off during that time#but the new provider i'm working with is so responsive & thorough in her approach & seems genuinely committed#to helping me finally get relief after all this time. she listens to my feedback & is flexible in her approach#and her assistant is a great communicator who's been handling most of the logistics of care coordination for me#and what a huge fucking relief that is. to not have to drag my doctors kicking & screaming towards maybe treating me eventually#i wanna cry. i finally feel like i'm being taken seriously and cared for. and i'm not BETTER yet (might never be the same as i was pre-op)#but i actually feel optimistic for the first time in over a year that i won't just have to deal with this agonizing pain on my own forever#i might actually see enough improvement that i can start to get back to living my life instead of just surviving it#money is tighter than it's been since i got laid off during early pandemic and that's stressing me out#but i promised myself that i would put my health first in 2024 and that means only working the bare minimum needed to pay my bills for now#genuinely i so fucking needed a break. i felt like i was trying to swim through a meat grinder last year#and it wasn't until i ended up in the ER about it that i finally was able to take my own pain seriously enough#to put my foot down & make some necessary changes that are now letting me focus on Getting Well With Myself at last#in hindsight it's like. really freaking me out how thoroughly i was able to compartmentalize & dissociate from how miserable i was#bc nobody who had the ability to help me would take me seriously & my shitty boss was like. extremely textbook emotionally abusive#and on one hand that was a survival mechanism that kept me on my feet during one of the worst times of my life. so props to myself there#but it was also very maladaptive how long & unnecessarily it went on before i snapped out of it & escalated things for my own safety#it was the same helpless frustration i often felt as a kid of like 'well nobody is on my side but me so i gotta suck it up & help myself'#and i think the family trauma shit that was going on last year definitely contributed to that. idk sense of doubling across time?#and things had to get Extremely Bad before they were bad enough for me to realize that although i felt like it#i am no longer an isolated & parentified island of a child who is beholden to the whims of ignorant & indifferent adults#i actually can and should take action to advocate for myself bc i am an adult and i CAN now change my circumstances as needed#instead of just enduring them as if i'm stuck there with no agency or chance to change things#and i have a really solid support system who helped me feel like it was possible to stand up for myself to get the help i desperately need#chronic blogging
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I am vengeful at this show for making Stolas sympathetic in any way
#Sure his childhood was shitty#Sure he was in an arranged marriage#Sure there are (maybe) hints that he was being physically abused I guess#But he failed to take his daughter’s feelings into account when she admitted something like his cheating was taking a toll on her#He’s commiting statutory rape weekly#He hardly treats Blitzo like a person#He’s racist#Their relationship in general is extremely toxic and an imbalance in power dynamics#They’re unhealthy codependent#And Blitzo showed no signs he was into Stolas until like episode five maybe#Their relationship is fucked up and#Fine I’ll say it it’s a similar problem to ZaDr where they don’t need romance to heal they legit need therapy or anything else#Also Stolas is a shit father I Don’t care what you say#He loves his daughter obviously but he’s not there for her emotionally#Anyway this is a Stolitzo/Stolas hate post#Have a nice day#Helluva Boss#Helluve Boss criticism#Stolitzo criticism m
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obligatory reminder that basing your moral compass around whether or not you think disturbing material in fiction and trusting people based on that moral compass is a surefire way to put yourself in a prime position of harm because abusers WILL jump on that and use it to your advantage, ESPECIALLY if you're mentally ill and suffer from ocd/other illnesses with violent intrusive thoughts
#source: my dad would be considered a shining beacon of a moral compass from anyone who isnt in the know#the know: he is extremely emotionally and verbally abusive and used to be very physically abusive before we threatened to call the cops#hes got ocd as well and thats probs why he deadass believes fiction = reality and that the fiction i read = why i'm 'violent'#'we need to be good people' <- a good person is someone who treats others with kindness and respect#not whatever the fuck he or the violent antis digging into people's shit are#anyways. im going home tomorrow and while i miss my mom and friends#i am NOT looking forward to 8 days with him.
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Sally Jackson vs Bruce Wayne.
Not Batman. Bruce Wayne.
#Do I feel like sometimes the fandom takes Sally a little TOO far in the direction of 'perfect mom'? yes#does Sally being reduced to 'sweet and bakes cookies' in a lot of places annoy me to no end? yes#BUT#I absolutely need to see Sally Jackson as an example of 'loving parent who genuinely does the best she can while demonstrating#her deep love and compassion for her child and doing her best to emotionally support him'#the woman who provided the safety net to literal half human hero of a child while making him feel secure in his relationship with her#and who also wasn't afraid to murder her abusive husband for her son's sake and her own#meet Bruce Wayne. whose parenting track record is ...#interesting#even if you discount the most extreme authors on either end of the spectrum
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why are my ex-boyfriends (plural) so obsessed with me? i've been in long-term relationships with two guys and both of them wanna call me, see me, have asked to be with me again, have said they've changed and want to win me back etc etc etc and I'm like I hate you now, stop talking to me and trying to see me!!! the idea of seeing either of you makes me want to VOMIT.
#both of them were extremely emotionally abusive too#like no i don't want that for myself again actually#tw abuse
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insomnia is just wrecking my shit but i can must will think about michael's little cycles as a late teenager. specifically like. the ups and downs of dealing with abuse. i feel like a lot of resources focus on the abuser's cycle - honeymoon, tension, incident, reconciliation - but not very much on the victim's. in my experience, if it goes on long enough, there does come a point where you disconnect from that flow. especially if you're in the stage between realising the abuse is happening and getting out. the helplessness and frustration of being unable to leave once you know you're being mistreated creates its own cycle. knowing what's happening, you may try to use logic to start to control the situation, but because the abuse tends to be nonsensical, no amount of pointing out the behaviour or arguing your case or even highlighting that it's irrational is going to make it stop. eventually you exhaust yourself and enter phase two, playing dead. since it's so out of your control, you decide to just stop caring and let it happen. they're still doing the exact same song and dance and you are being dragged along for the ride. it doesn't matter if you argue, because it's going to keep happening, so why waste your time and energy that could be put towards recovering from each incident? but then they keep happening, and your energy comes back, and it turns into frustration again. because you don't deserve to be treated this way. sometimes this leads to a fourth phase, where the frustration triggers a blowup, and then guilt and self-blame over the ensuing issues; lots of 'maybe it was my fault because i let it slide for too long and got angry', 'oh am i just as bad as them', etc. this leads back into the attempted rationality phase, trying to 'fix it'.
so there are fluctuations in michael's behaviour. sometimes he's a doormat. sometimes he fights back. and it's tied to the way he constantly has to manage his own energy/resources, while throwing himself against the brick wall that is william's treatment of him. and some of those bricks are made up of the honeymoon phase! but when you're far enough along that you've caught on to the game, those moments can start to sour, too, because they never last. sadly from an outside perspective this does make mike look unstable which just adds to the problem. such is the hammer they're beating him with.
#oh boy six a.m.! ( ooc )#tbt.#abuse cw#|| his anger issues come from somewhere.#|| they are also extremely damaging to the people around him.#|| rip evan.#|| anyways i don't see it talked about often enough when like.#|| you're playing dead but they don't accept that because their gratification requires#|| your active participation in their little scene. and they'll go at you for dissociating.#|| but it's like we do this once a month what is left to give.#|| and that's not an acceptable answer because they crave energy and feedback! they need your investment!#|| so they cattle prod you emotionally until you muster up a reaction.#|| it is. the most nightmarish thing.
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Sorry for the extremely niche post everyone but I just reread this book and I can't help that Dickens wrote very cleverly disguised mclennon fanfiction a century before j/p met it's just the truth.
#If anyone wants to be my hero and write this au or talk Dickens/Beatles#It's just too perfect#The extremely strict emotionally abusive non-mother who raises a determinedly sweet generous idealist dreamer#The ner-do-well father who raises his own care-taker/provider through manipulation and control disguised as love#They both see each other the way no one else has seen them and form a close partnership and love like what was never modeled for them#Extremely ride or die and self deprecating on both sides “oh id do anything for them but they deserve better than me” until they realize...#paul mccartney#john lennon#beatles#mclennon#charles dickens#little dorrit
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The THING about utena “massive trigger warning + changed my life” posting is the secondary characteristic of irony being deep truth. Like girlhood is dominated by allusions to and obfuscations of rape and the threat of rape. The impropriety of exposing young children to the concept puts them in greater danger. It happens to them but they don’t understand it. And this runs so deep it becomes fantastical - without direct language, children pick up on the taboo of the unsaid and apply otherworldly power to it.
#rape mention#maybe a little extreme but I was raised in kind of extreme circumstances#as a csa survivor myself my interest into the analytical and social nature of rape culture is seen as non academic but emotionally charged#and therefore worthless in terms of literary study when in fact it’s actually the opposite and the classical framing of victimhood is#actually working with abusive power structures producing rampant abuse#revolutionary girl utena#rgu#text
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There always seems to be one kid who just screams like a tornado siren, all day long, at any given opportunity. Like, kid, I love you, you are precious and deserve all the happiness in the world; but please for the love of god shut up. There are people trying to learn here and you’re not helping them or yourself.
#I don’t like being harsh with people in general but if one child is raising the tension in the room to a fever pitch every single day#making it incredibly hard for the kids who are trying really really hard to focus when they already have focus issues#and because I know this specific kid gets absolutely spoiled rotten at home and is allowed to do whatever they want#you know… sometimes it helps to show the kid how they sound to others by demonstrating the obnoxious nature of The Scream#because when the parents do Jack Shit about teaching their kid discipline and courtesy; you have to be a parent in their stead#But do NOT continue to scream. You are an adult with adequate emotional control. Screaming should be be done EXTREMELY sparingly#and only utilized for demonstration purposes or to stop a brawl; not for bullying or intimidation#Don’t do a JoJo Siwa and TRY to make kids cry even though you may get stressed enough that you want to escalate on purpose#Again: you are an adult with adequate emotional control; don’t escalate unless the overreaching plan is to deescalate#if eliciting a startle response will stop harmful behavior and “snap them out of it” for long enough for you to get through#or if they just need to let all their emotions out at once so they can lose enough of that high energy to think critically#then sure#but you have to guide them back down very carefully and calmly; it’s a precise science#Don’t be mean about it; be genuine in your feelings and don’t go overboard. Genuine ≠ mean unless you’re evil#Or if you don’t feel emotions very strongly (like I do) then react like a “normal” person. Lie about being angry or sad if it is appropriat#Again: Your goal should not be to get the kid to do what you want; the goal should be to get them to feel good enough#so they are ABLE to do it in the first place#And the goal should also be to show them how their actions affect others if they are not aware of it#“Teach a man to fish” and all that. Don’t always check them; get them to check themselves#If a kid hits another kid when they’re angry at something completely unrelated; then 1.) redirect destructive behavior#and 2.) walk them back over to the kid they hurt and say:#“Look at [name]; look how sad you made them. [name] didn’t do anything to you#It’s okay to be angry but we CANNOT hit people when we are angry because it hurts and makes them cry.” Works great#Always remember there is a power imbalance inherent in EVERY child-adult relationship and NEVER abuse it#And if you’re not patient or emotionally stable enough to work with or have children; then don’t. Please don’t.#Children are not cute little dolls to play dress-up with; nor are they perfect angels; nor are they your personal stress ball#Having children is NOT A GAME. They are PEOPLE who will grow to be your age one day and everything you do affects them#Sorry I’m just tired of all these parents who shove iPads in their kids faces so they don’t bother them. You’re giving them an addiction
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to whoever wrote donatella's pn wiki, i just wanna talk.
#i don't really believe *everything* raz says about his dad was just him misinterpreting events#and no this doesn't immediately equate augustus was abusive as he's clearly shown to have worked on himself and accept raz#if they were good memories i wouldn't have run away is extremely revealing line about the depths of augustus' anti-psychic sentiments#and how his behavior directly impacted raz and also dion and frazie in how they treat and ostracize raz out of perpetuated fear#and how all of this would create a whirlwind of negativity for raz while living at home because augustus *did* make him feel unwanted#also i think the 'scary psychic campfire storytelling time' is pretty telling of augustus too in how he would instill fear in his children#about psychics and how in turn this would make raz feel like he isn't wanted by his dad as he tried to explore powers that his father hates#yes they had 'secrets' and augustus wanted to 'protect raz' but that feeling of being unwanted and fearing his father was in there for pn1#and it was a good thing that augustus immediately changed his tune! tho he as the dad didn't properly talk to his kids about his change#so dion and frazie are left with a jumbled mess of feelings about psychics and raz and etc#but please tell me how donatella is actually the most emotionally abusive woman in the world please inform me i just wanna know#edit - what she did do wrong was not stop augustus from spreading those very inflammatory anti-psychic sentiments#but to her defense - she was of the belief psychics harmed her husband and cursed her children to die in water#it's a reasonable and tragic fear and it's still on augustus' shoulders for how he treated raz and strengthened raz's fears of his own dad#donatella
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#ever find yourself over-explaining something you did because you feel like you're about to get in trouble? even if it's something innocuous?#and you're trying so hard to Not Get in Trouble you start to feel like you're lying EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE NOT#sometimes one notices a behavior and it's like ''oh yeah. i spent my whole childhood being constantly criticised and living on the defensive#and now any time i feel like i MIGHT have made a mistake#even if there's no reason to think i did#i'll start trying to prove it wasn't my fault and get out in front of criticism before it even happens''#note to self to remember i do stuff like this next time im questioning how bad it actually was#i act in these weird evasive prevaricating ways for no reason#i feel like i have to hide something when there's nothing worth hiding#it's all these weird reactions to living for so long in an environment where if i DID do something wrong#the resulting harsh criticism and verbal abuse was so bad that i started to be hyper vigilant#and always looking for things to excuse whatever id done#it suckkksssss in adulthood because it makes you act squirrelly and weird (read: suspicious#to someone who doesn't understand that kind of anxiety) AND if you do genuinely make a mistake#it's really hard not to get extremely defensive bc you're expecting to be emotionally demolished if you admit you were at fault#it's not a gr8 behavior and i hate when i catch myself doing it#ive gotten way better about that one in the last few years but only because i now live with people who are capable of regulating#even when they are angry with me.
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