#and in many ways he STILL is traditional in the sense he feels
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honorhearted · 11 months ago
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"Not always..."
The defeat in her voice crushed him beneath the weight of her sorrow, and clinging more tightly to her smaller frame, Benjamin chose to merely listen while she spoke. There was a raw kernel of truth to her words -- she was right that some were forever scarred or mangled, and could never fully recover from their wounds. But Emma...did she truly believe herself so far beyond repair? Emma, the camp's one true beacon that shone as brightly as both the sun and moon?
"You're right," he finally allowed, his voice hoarse. "I should know better, given how my own men are walking, breathing testaments to such pain and sacrifice... We may boldly enter these horrors of our own volition, but that doesn't mean we always return completely whole. But with the proper love and support..." Trailing off, he tamped his lips shut, not wanting to flat-out confess he knew that she was the one of which she spoke.
Emma lifted her head and mercifully, he saw the first break of dawn amidst the clouds in her gaze, alerting him to the fact she was all right -- she was safe -- and then her arms were around him, holding tight and fiercely as she whispered her thanks. Closing his eyes, Benjamin fondly nudged his cheek into her hair. He couldn't speak, for fear of shattering her delicate resolve, so instead he merely held her, content with their closeness and relishing in the realization that she trusted him. He didn't know what he'd done to deserve such an honor, but some way, somehow, she did. And he treasured that more than he cared to admit.
After a moment, Emma slowly lowered to her proper height and wiped at her eyes, attempting to disguise any prior emotion. "Hey... in a slight change of topic... Still speaking of past experiences... Doesn't it... bother you that I have them?"
Benjamin blinked at her, genuinely baffled. "Why would it bother me?" he pressed. "That's the thing about experiences...we all have them."
Wincing, she clarified, "You know I'm... you know. But you seemed to be comfortable asking me about that sort of thing, and... I've come to learn that while men in my kingdom aren't exactly thrilled by... experienced women, men here and in some other countries are generally against it."
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The gravity of her allusion finally dawned on him, and for once finding it in himself not to blush, Benjamin offered a soft smile and a shake of the head. "No," he replied, surprised by the conviction of his own sincerity. "If I'd been bothered, I never would've lain with you in the first place. Do I wish that we'd both been untouched, and thus, had nothing to compare it to?" He shrugged, sheepish while he nodded. "Of course. But it doesn't bother me that you've loved, because to love is the greatest gift God allows. Each love is a blessing, and not lesser than just because it hasn't been sanctified by marriage." With a weak, flustered laugh, he added, "My father would kill me for saying that, but I don't know... Out here, surrounded by war and death and loss, I've realized you need to love where you can -- when you can. And I don't regret giving myself to you. Not even for a moment."
Reaching for her hands, Benjamin gave them a fond squeeze. "So yes, Emma. We're more than 'good.' The only thing I'm truly bothered by is your assumption that I wouldn't be."
"Brewster won't ever push..."
Oh, that sweetheart. In that moment, it killed her that she couldn't find the will to speak up, that she couldn't open up. But the pain behind that locked door was far too much, opening it would just lead to the whole wall coming down. And yet. He was going along with it, letting her choose what to say, how to say it, and there was something unbelievably protective in his willingness to let her lead.
She let out a small sigh when he decided to give her a kiss instead, holding her to him. Why couldn't she just be normal again? Why couldn't she be like any other woman who, yes, may have had a heartbreak or two in their past, but could speak of it and didn't need such hand-holding? Why couldn't she give him that? "Not always..." she murmured, her voice smaller, "Sometimes there is no healing. Sometimes you lose an arm... or a leg in battle, and you just... go on with a limp. But..." But he had just allowed her to lean against him, so she could limp her way out of it, and she didn't know how to express the overwhelmed gratitude. She tilted her head up to look at him in the eyes, opening and closing her mouth when words didn't come, and instead let herself soften into a smile, her hand letting go of his wrist to brush his already perfect hair back.
"Thank you," she whispered, finally relaxing and realizing just how rigid she had been until then; it felt as if she had run around camp a few times and was shaking after the effort, but without a second thought she stepped forward and simply buried her face against his shoulders, wrapping her arms tightly around him. "Just thank you."
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She knew she couldn't, but still wished she could have spent the rest of the day in his arms, whether talking or in silence it didn't matter, and that in itself was a nice kind of strange. Even the voice that wanted to beg him not to hurt her was almost quiet, while always there. "Hey... in a slight change of topic..." Emma said after a little, forcing herself to let him go and quickly wiping one eye after the other, but otherwise ignoring the fact that she had been so close to tears. Time to try to move past it. "Still speaking of past experiences... Doesn't it... bother you that I have them? You know I'm... you know. But you seemed to be comfortable asking me about that sort of thing, and... I've come to learn that while men in my kingdom aren't exactly thrilled by... experienced women, men here and in some other countries are generally against it. Well, I guess I'm too old to not have any by now, but still, do you not mind speaking of it? Are we... good?" That felt strange too, when asked to Ben - are we good. That little word to speak of them as if they were a unit, like her parents did. Felt right, though, and was one way to not entirely shut him out while not getting trapped into the previous topic. Because, surprisingly, she did not feel like shutting him out yet.
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khioneee · 2 months ago
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tap out.
simon doesn’t expect anyone to tap him out. a ritual where loved ones step forward to release a soldier from duty, creating a chance to reconnect.
based on this.
simon stands in formation, a soldier among countless others, each bound by discipline, each carrying their own story beneath a stoic exterior.
in the unyielding line, he’s silent, gaze fixed forward, while around him, families reunite: sons embraced by tearful mothers, women lifting their children into their arms, couples lost in long-awaited kisses. joy and relief fill the air, carried on quiet laughter and murmured words of love.
but simon is an orphan now.
there’s no one to step forward for him, no one to break his stance. he watches it all, standing alone, feeling like a stranger in this crowd of reunions, this world of connections he never belonged to.
over the years, the military has stripped him down, rebuilt him into something hardened and unbreakable. this new self is his armor, a wall between him and the life he left behind.
the tap-out tradition is a formality he’s only ever heard about, something he’s watched from a distance but never expected for himself.
he stands motionless as soldiers around him are tapped out by loved ones. he watches quietly, feeling a distant sense of satisfaction for them, grateful that they have that in their lives.
maybe soap would tap him out after he’d seen to his own family.
no matter how many times simon tried to keep him at arm’s length, he’d come to accept that soap wasn’t leaving him behind. coerced into the friendship or not, soap was a friend. until soap has been tapped out, there’s no one in simon’s life to come pick him out.
still, simon knew he was alone in ways he couldn’t change. or so he believes.
then he feels it—a subtle shift in the air, hesitant footsteps halting just in front of him, carrying a weight he doesn’t understand. his breath catches, but he doesn’t move. he’s trained to hold his position, but something in him almost falters as he senses a presence just inches away. slowly, he lets his gaze shift, barely, enough to catch a silhouette he thought he’d left behind a lifetime ago.
it’s you.
you. his childhood best friend. the love of his life.
you. the only person he thought of when he escaped his broken home. you. the guilt that wracked him when he ran, unable to say goodbye after the night he barely escaped after being beat nearly to death. you. the only reason he wanted to be alive, and the person he hadn’t been able to look back for.
—you. you. you.
and now here you are, standing before him, eyes wide with hope and uncertainty, tears gathering at the corners like unsaid words held back for too long.
he doesn’t understand, not fully. he thought he’d locked that door, left that part of him sealed away. and yet, here you are, holding everything he thought he’d left behind.
you hesitate, the weight of the years pressing down between you, unsure if you’re allowed to do this. if you can reach out to him after all this time, to be the one who taps him out.
he senses your uncertainty, feels it as if it’s his own, and in that moment, he lets a flicker of vulnerability break through—a slight furrow in his brow, a subtle nod. silent permission.
and you know, in that instant, it’s okay.
with a trembling hand, you reach forward, closing the distance. your hand hovers over his shoulder for a heartbeat, the air between you heavy with everything left unsaid.
then, gently, you tap him out. a simple touch, light and fleeting, yet it breaks something open in both of you.
in an instant, simon moves. his arms come around you, his grip unyielding as he pulls you close, lifting you off the ground. the soldier falls away, and he’s just simon again, holding you as if you’re the only real thing in a world that’s constantly shifting.
his head lowers, his face buried in your shoulder, and he breathes you in, lets the walls he’s held up for years fall away.
‘you’re here,’ he murmurs, voice rough, thick with emotion he can’t hide anymore.
his hand cradles the back of your head, fingers threading through your hair, each touch soft, a silent promise. the weight of years and regret presses against him, but he holds you tighter, as if to make up for every moment he was gone.
you feel the warmth of his tears against your shoulder, silent and raw. he pulls you closer still, as if afraid to let go, his voice barely a whisper as he breathes, ‘i’m sorry, lovie. i’m so damn sorry. i’ll never leave you behind again. i promise.’
and in that moment, surrounded by echoes of lives left behind, he’s just simon again, the boy who belonged with you.
. ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇��༘࿐ an. i know the tap-out tradition isn’t common in the uk and is usually done at the airforce but oh well. read part 2 here.
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lovieku · 26 days ago
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INTRO ⋆ 정국
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you’re jeongguk’s secret santa this year, so you give him the best gift he’ll ever receive.
⋆⁺₊❅. 1/6 from christmas & chill
pairing virgin!jk x fem reader
genre smut, fluff, friends to lovers, first time
warnings painfully oblivious jk, even more painfully oblivious oc, mutual pining unlike anything you’ve seen, jk being a hot nerd ceo who’s loaded rich and unaware of his potential, please imagine him as nam joohyuk in start up, oc just creaming her pants for jk, hand job, lowk strip tease, dry humping, nipple play (m&f), unprotected p in v sex, creampie, jk is so needy and impatient but also very polite, smut is kinda rushed because well… it’s his first time! sawrry! also i open gifts on xmas eve please don’t come for me and my traditions (it’s lich just because i’m impatient)
word count 8.3k
author’s note hello hello hello!!! i’m so nervy to post this because it’s what finally inaugurates c&c!!!! i hope it can be a pleasing (intro)duction to the series hehe… either way you’ll get something totally better from miss lyssa tomorrow so stay tuned Wink 🩷 luv u always
banner by the talented @awrkive ⟡ ݁₊ .
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Secret Santas have become the only way you’ve been able to deal with Christmas. When it comes to gift-giving, you’re embarrassed to admit that creativity in that department doesn’t exactly come naturally to you.
You try your best, truly. But you either end up going over budget, striving to please all your loved ones with unnecessarily expensive gifts which will only leave you with empty hands and an empty wallet, or having your brain completely stop working, if not to come up with the most basic and useless options that will get you forced smiles and polite nods in fake recognition.
It’s exhausting, demoralizing, and frankly, a recipe for holiday burnout.
So when two years ago, on the brink of giving up entirely and seriously contemplating hibernating through winter, your dear friend Jimin swooped in and suggested Secret Santa, it completely reshaped your next Christmases.
Exactly a month before Christmas Eve, you reunite over drinks and food at Jeongguk’s house to draw names. His place always ends up as the default spot for dinners, movie nights, or even football matches. Those don’t usually get the attention of everybody, especially of some of the girls, and it wouldn’t get yours either.
But you never skip game night. Correction, you never miss an excuse to be in Jeongguk’s space, even if it means sitting through 90 minutes of men chasing a ball on a screen. After all, you’re never truly paying attention, always stealing glances at the boy who seems almost even more uninterested than you.
It’s about witnessing him in his house— which, truthfully, is more of a mansion. The spacious, cozy interiors mirror a part of him that’s hard to miss: his perfectionist side, the one that likes to keep things understated but can’t help leaving subtle, telling marks of his presence on everything he touches, is woven into every corner.
Over time, you’ve naturally come to associate the place with holidays, laughter, and celebrations that fill you with a sense of belonging. Being here, surrounded by your closest friend, makes you feel profoundly grateful.
And there’s so many traces of you all, too. The faint wine stain on Jeongguk’s carpet that is only still noticeable if you squint, the one that spilled from your glass when Hoseok’s jokes had you laughing too hard; the long, slim scratch on the kitchen door, courtesy of Eunbi, who thought learning how to balance glasses on her forehead would get one of her coworkers to finally fall for her; the wobbly vase on the coffee table that was knocked over during one of Jimin’s overly enthusiastic attempts to kick a water bottle open.
Watching Jeongguk deal with the chaos you all force into his space might be another big reason why you love being here. It seems to squeeze out his most genuine reactions and quirks, and you can’t help biting your lips at those, almost pornographically so.
For someone who works so hard to appear composed, and who’s also extremely shy and reserved, Jeongguk is hilariously transparent when things don’t go his way. Brows furrowed, as if that’s where he keeps all his control. Although, no matter how flustered he gets, Jeongguk almost never gets choleric. His instinct is never to lash out but to scramble, a picture of barely contained stress insisting that everything is fine.
And the more he insists, the more you find yourself wishing it wasn’t fine. Sometimes, you want to see him lose it— especially at you.
You’ve tried, too. You’ve pushed boundaries, done little things to test the limits of his patience, all for the slim possibility of seeing him crack, just for you. But it never works. The best you get is an awkward smile, maybe a quiet laugh. It’s not nothing, but it’s not what you want, either.
You don’t think you’ve ever felt this crazy about someone before. Not in the way where everything he does sends your brain spinning with possibilities. It’s maddening. His obliviousness is maddening.
Chiefly tonight, when you’re trying extra hard to keep it under control, the whole group gathering in a circle around the bowl that holds all your names, each one carefully folded into a little square, waiting to be drawn.
But when your slim fingers brush against one of the many crumpled pieces of paper and decide your fate, you send a small prayer to whoever might be listening. Please, don’t let it be Jeongguk.
It doesn’t really come off as a coherent request, especially considering how much your body has betrayed you tonight. Your thighs have been pressing together most of the evening, a subconscious reaction every time your gaze wandered — lingered — on Jeongguk’s lower half. Those low, slouchy grey sweatpants, hanging effortlessly off his narrow hips, have been the source of many inappropriate thoughts that you wish would make you grow some shame within yourself. Instead, they only make you grow hotter in your seat.
No, you would love to be Jeongguk’s Secret Santa with the blatant, embarrassingly huge crush you have on him. You think you’d be happy about it in any other universe, except this one.
Jeongguk is difficult. And not because he’s ever been argumentative, looking to start quarrels, never willing to agree or see past his nose. He’s far from those. He’s one of the easiest people to be around, rarely judgmental, even when you were drunk off your mind and you jokingly grinded on very-gay Jimin to make up for your lack of sexual activity. On those occasions, you didn't exactly see judgement in his eyes. Just reticence. Maybe. It wasn’t clear.
What is clear is that Jeongguk is incredibly particular. He’s picky about what he likes and even more so about what he doesn’t, though dislike might be too soft a word. When he hates something, it’s impossible not to know. He doesn’t even try to mask his disappointment.
It’s not malicious, of course. He’s not the type to be spiteful. It’s just how he is, an open book, his expressions giving him away without fail.
It’s one of the many reasons you love watching him, other than hoping your eyes would telepathically convey your undying desire to fuck him and cuddle him close to your chest afterwards. But most of the time, studying the shifts in his features is a way for you to decipher what he’s thinking.
And that’s why this moment feels so high-stakes. The last thing you want is to be on the receiving end of one of Jeongguk’s polite smiles or barely-there nods of acknowledgment, the kind he gives when he’s unimpressed. It would crush you, the ultimate failure in your short-lived career as a gift-giver.
It’s not just that he’s hard to please. Jeongguk is also the last person who seems to need anything. He’s loaded, his success as a game developer has afforded him a life where anything he wants is within reach. And yet, despite his wealth, there’s no arrogance about him. If you didn’t know him so well, you might think he was just another college student scraping by.
Who else but Jeon Jeongguk could walk around in a hoodie and square glasses, looking like he just rolled out of bed, while being the CEO of his own company?
But, of course, none of this is important. Because as you unfold the piece of paper in your hand, it’s there. Jeongguk.
You don’t think you enjoy Secret Santa as much anymore.
With the bowl continuing its journey around the circle, you spend the rest of the game staring holes into the back of Jeongguk’s head, desperately trying to figure out what in the world you could possibly get him. Your monthly budget feels laughable in comparison to his lifestyle, but you’re already prepared to go way over it if that’s what it takes to impress him.
You wonder if he’s as insecure as you are when he quietly unfolds the small, paper square he picked up and scans the name. His bug eyed expression doesn’t hide an evident surprise, the twitch of his eyebrows managing to conceal a possible disappointment.
For someone who’s usually so easy to read, Jeongguk seems uncharacteristically guarded in this moment, and it drives you crazy. You squint at him, frowning as you try to decipher any small detail on his face. Is he annoyed? Or worse, completely indifferent?
Either way, it doesn’t look like a positive reaction. If it ends up being you, you’ll rethink back to this moment and cry yourself to sleep.
With the first step out of the way, the night goes on following its usual rhythm. Only by the end of it, Jeongguk’s space starting to empty, you quietly help him put some order to the mess left behind by a too drunk Hoseok paired with his too drunk best friend Taehyung.
You keep yourself busy with storing some leftover food, managing to keep your tone unbothered when you ask, “Hey, Gguk. Wanna help me with the party planning this year?”
Always obliging to your every request, he only stutters slightly in his movements, the glasses he was cleaning clinking together. He clears his throat, “S—sure. I’ll help you, goldie.” The stammer doesn’t seem to be caused by any kind of hesitation, just an usual consequence to his nature. Reserved, quiet.
You nod, gulping way too loudly at the special nickname he has for you, and both of you keep your focus on your doings instead of witnessing the faint blush dusting your cheeks, “Cool. I’ll text you the details tomorrow.”
Details texted, your efforts to divert the conversation into something remotely playful failed miserably. Jeongguk is painfully formal, methodical as ever, hyper-focused on the party. When you sent him a TikTok you deemed adorable enough to nudge him toward a different matter, maybe hint at the dog being the cutest thing he’s ever seen and that you two should definitely adopt three of them and move in together, he still doesn’t get it.
gguk🤍: Oh… I asked my brother to keep Bam for Christmas Eve. I thought he would be too much of a hassle, especially with Iseul not being fond of dogs.
You had stared at the ceiling for a long moment after reading that text. Jeongguk is endearingly dense, and you don’t mind it most of the time. But it’s starting to cause quiet bursts of frustration when it comes to whatever undefined thing you two have, and what is clearly simmering for the eyes of everybody to see, except his.
You’d thought giving him his first handjob when he quietly confessed he’s never been touched, his voice a tremble in the calm aftermath of a chaotic group sleepover, would be enough to make him see. His quiet whimpers were hypnotizing calls that only you were meant to hear, and your fist pumping his girthy length with intent was speaking all you were afraid to voice.
Jeongguk came hard and unannounced all over your hand, pleasured sounds muffled in the side of your neck, and you’d assured him it was okay; he did good; that you would get something to clean him up. You didn’t sleep that night, and he didn’t either, spending the rest of it next to each other on his couch talking pointless conversation.
If that hadn’t opened his eyes, you were beginning to wonder what would.
“So… Do you have any idea what to gift your person?”
Jeongguk stirs his latte for the fourth time. You’d decided to meet at a café halfway between your cramped flat and his mansion, because it was the easiest way you managed to make your busy schedules merge.
“No, Gguk,” you acknowledge his question without meeting his eyes, focusing on the grocery list on your laptop instead.
What would? You’re starting to think subtlety isn’t cutting it. Maybe it never has. Perhaps the only way to break through that frustratingly thick skull of his is to go full throttle, strip naked right here in the middle of this café and spell it out for him.
Your eye involuntary twitches at the thought in relation to his question. Crazy Christmas gift, you reason as you stare maniacally at your bright screen. Yeah. Totally crazy.
Shaking your head, you can’t resist glancing up at him. The idea doesn’t seem so irrational anymore, not when your insides twist at the sight of his absorbed expression, his brows furrowed as he scribbles out unheard-of maths on a piece of paper to figure out group expenses.
With your chin resting in the palm of your hand, you abandon your pretense of being productive and let yourself watch him work. A teasing lilt slips into your voice as you prod him in your usual way, “Why should I believe you already don’t know who it is?”
He blinks up at you, promptly, like he always does when you speak to him, and he stumbles, “Huh— I don’t—”
“You so do. You probably already guessed it all with your nerdy brain.”
Despite looking mildly offended, his ears turn red anyway, “Nerdy brain—”
“Glasses look cute on you,” that shuts him up; his mouth, his brain. Completely unable to cater to any of their functions.
You smirk at the way he diverts his gaze, pointer finger unconsciously fixing the specs on the bridge of his nose, and you wonder how much longer it’ll take for him to notice that you don’t just go around calling everyone’s glasses cute.
Sighing, you continue, “Anyways. It’s not you.”
“W—what? Is it really not?” When he looks up at you with even wider eyes, you feel bad for lying to him but you still shake your head. He mutters, “Shoot. I was so sure I had it.”
A playful scoff escapes you, “See! You did sit in your nerdy room and tried to guess!”
“Stop calling me a nerd,” it’s a request grumbled in the most adorable way you’ve heard, and there’s no real heat behind it. Especially when he goes back to be exactly what he doesn’t want you to refer to him as, “Well, if it’s not me, it must be Taehyung.”
You pretend to busy yourself with your touchpad as you ponder on his eagerness. Then, you voice the result, “What’s the fun in knowing right now?”
Jeongguk hesitates for a moment too long before admitting, “I don’t know. I guess it makes me less anxious.”
It’s a raw kind of honesty, much like what he was painted all over with when he came from your touch, and it has you shifting your gaze back on him, now absorbed in doodling stylized portraits of Bam right next to numbers and additions.
You don’t know if it’s the hot chocolate still simmering in your tummy, the warmth from the coat laying on your legs, the café’s natural heat or Jeongguk’s proximity, but you buzz with something homely.
Ariana Grande’s version of Last Christmas replays for the third time in a row, and at this point you’re starting to believe it’s a conscious choice, but you don’t mind it.
Jeongguk belongs to the world the soft melody is building, hugged by a woolen white sweater, the wide glass window behind him giving the perfect view to a classic winter scenery, snow softly resting on any surface it finds and unconsciously bringing magic to dullness. Or maybe it’s just him adding that last bit.
You smile at his small confession, reassuring with your tone, almost drowning in the lively chatter of the place surrounding you, “You don’t have to be.”
Jeongguk only nods, tapping the pencil on his temple as he studies what he has so far with sudden doubt. He looks at your laptop, scanning the long forgotten visual board on your Pinterest, then back to his calculations.
Giving one more glance at the screen, he concludes, “By the way, I really don’t think that color would look good in my living room.”
Ugh.
You think you want to strangle him when he deflects so easily from these moments. And mostly, the burgundy he’s so easily refusing happens to be one of your favorite shades. Do your tastes ever match?
God, as much as you want him, you hope he’s not your Secret Santa.
────⋆。˚���˚ 。⋆────
Jeongguk is your Secret Santa.
And on Christmas Eve, he’s pacing the length of his living room back and forth, his socks brushing against the polished wooden floor with each step. You’re supposed to arrive any minute now to help him with the final touches before the others come for dinner, and the idea of having you here alone is enough to make his hands clammy and his thoughts stumble.
The neatly wrapped gift with its shiny red paper sits tucked under the towering Christmas tree, the one adorned in messy decor that his friends jumbled up together. The item hidden inside the bag doesn’t share his anxieties, though he suspects his downstairs neighbour might have caught on to it with the incessant pacing.
When you ring the doorbell he’s jolted out of it and, practically tripping over his own feet, he rushes to the door and yanks it open. He would have let you in just as rapidly if his brain didn’t stop short at seeing you standing there.
You’re cladded in a soft sweater that looks two sizes larger, its beige tones complimenting the warm brown of his own jumper, and your short skirt peeks out beneath its hem, edged with lace ruffles. At your feet, a pair of chestnut Uggs that he can only hope are enough to make up for the cold shivers on your bare legs. Not that he’s staring, so intently he has to gulp down an impulsive thought. No, he’s just a naturally observing guy.
And that brings him to notice that your hands are empty, save for a small purse and a bottle of wine. No bag, no box, no sign of a gift.
When his gaze flickers back to your face, your eyes are wide and darting nervously between his own, narrowed by the frown that he can’t quite hide but bug sized the moment he catches a trace of insecurity in your shaky voice, “Hi.”
It could be the cold causing the brief greeting to tremble, small snowflakes laying on your neatly styled hair, shimmering for a brief moment before melting away. It pulls him out from his unabashed study of you, and he steps aside to let you into his much warmer space.
Your vanilla scent inebriating his senses has him forgetting all about your seemingly non existent gift, and how he suddenly finds himself wishing he truly did get something messed up in his calculations, that you’re not his Secret Santa.
But you are.
Many drinks later, filling up everyone’s stomachs along with shared food and belly laughter, it’s time to exchange gifts and the expression on your face is unlikely anything he’s caught on so far.
A huge contrast to the mellow Christmas tunes indistinctly playing in the background, your eyes are impassive as you word your excuses, “I’m sorry, Gguk. I forgot your gift at home.”
“Oh. It’s okay,” he says quickly, the words spilling out with genuine ease. And it really is okay. He’s not upset— far from it. The thought of you giving him anything at all, even belatedly, is enough to make him feel content.
But now, as the group’s attention turns toward him, his heart races for an entirely different reason. His gift for you, a lavish, over-the-top gesture that far exceeds the modest budget they all agreed on, sits waiting on his lap.
When it finds a new home atop your own crossed legs, you’re eager as you rip the paper, but your eyes don’t follow your movements. Instead, you focus on the nervous boy sitting across from you, your very own Secret Santa who’s monitoring your hands for you while subtly rocking from one side to the other.
His anxiety is endearingly soft, but you can see something more to it, almost an irrational fear of tripping on the wrong step, messing up something that’s supposed to be simple.
You hear it before you see it. The whole room inhales sharply in a collective surprise, with some gasps muffled behind hands pressed to mouths. You scramble for an explanation in their expressions, jumping from one face to the other, stopping on Jeongguk’s own, gaze glued to his fidgeting fingers, head bowed down to his lap.
When you slowly look down at what’s resting on yours, you almost wheeze. If they could, your eyes would leap out of their sockets.
Your palm instinctively presses on your lips as you look between the gift and the gifter in a frantic attempt to catch any sign that this is not what it is. With the music being the only sound eerily filling the sudden silence, you add to it, even if barely, with your voice a whisper, “What is this?”
Jeongguk gulps and finally meets you, “It’s m—my gift for you.”
It’s not like you even opened it yet. But the simple sight of the box had you grasping for support. On the pale, textured surface of the square box, the unmistakable gold lettering is what’s making your orbs shake in confusion: Dior.
You trace the sign with your pointed finger, tilting your head up to look at Jeongguk through your lashes, and you don’t know how else to put it, “Ggukkie… Were you there when we set the budget?”
Jimin butts in with a scoff, “Yeah, that’s like fifteen thousand won multiplied by another fifty thousand.”
Jeongguk doesn’t know what he should say. He’s scared of the deafening silence that follows, the way Jimin’s comment seems to linger in the air, the way you seem to struggle with finding something to say in response.
He begins, tries to, “I—”
“Fuck, Gguk,” the simple sound of your words has his mind spiralling, palms clammy with doubts that question his every choice leading up to this moment, feeling foolish for even thinking this could be right, a shot worth trying. What if you think he’s showing off? Or worse, overcompensating?
But what he fails to notice is the toothy grin that follows your shameless surprise, your fingers gingerly lifting the lid of the box, and really, if only he had the courage to look up at you he’d have avoided the worries.
He misses your reaction at the reveal: the prettiest earrings sit on a soft cushion, gleaming gold with delicate CD initials and cream pearls dangling gracefully beneath them.
“These are the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen. I love them. You didn’t have to.”
Jeongguk’s head snaps up. He meets your face painted with the most beautiful grin he’s ever seen you wear, your cheeks burning with red and your nose scrunching as you carefully slip the earrings to take a better look at them. With you, everybody else around him seems in awe, too. Their soft, endeared whispers begin to fill the earlier suffocating silence, melting into a sweetness reserved entirely for Jeongguk.
He exhales quietly, the welcomed warmth in his chest replacing the cold. He admits, no stutter, no fear, just a sheepish smile, “I wanted to.”
Jeongguk really did want to. It felt like his one shot. A desperate, last-ditch attempt at making you see him the way he’s always seen you; a declaration wrapped in gold and pearls.
He wants you to see him as more than the shy, awkward boy who stumbles over his words and blushes too easily. More than the nerd who spends too much time working on equations and codes half the world doesn’t know about. More, just to have you look at him a bit closer.
He wants to be a man, one who badly wants you, in your eyes.
They’re gleaming with adorable excitement as they flicker back to his, sheepishly accompanying your quiet request, “Can you… put them on for me?”
Jeongguk is at your side in no time, handling the earrings with care while trying to keep his usual clumsiness at bay as he fastens the dainty jewels in place. He begins to understand why it’s hard to see him as anything else but gawky when he feels his heartbeat speed up from the simple way his skin is brushing against yours.
Namjoon’s voice cuts through the spell, playful, “Oh, what a pretty princess. Jeongguk truly has an eye for this stuff.”
With the group following with chuckles and mindless banter, Jeongguk feels uncharacteristically bold, gaze fixated entirely on you as he lets himself spill something meant for you only to hear, “I think it’s just you. You’re beautiful.”
You’re clearly caught off guard, and it stings a little when he realizes the only reason he doesn’t get to see you this flustered often is because he’s usually busy being the flustered one. Blinking up at him through your lashes, your laugh comes out a little breathless, and the sweet way you let your cheek rest on your shoulder has him daring to hope.
“Nerd.”
But no. There it is again.
That’s all he’ll ever be in your eyes.
He forces a smile that barely reaches his eyes, but you’re too engrossed with having your pearls admired by the rest of the group to notice. Those weren’t a waste; he would do it all the same. You deserve everything that makes your eyes shine, that brings the corners of your lips into that grin that shakes him, that can ever bring you joy. He just wishes it could bring you more than that; bring you to a bigger sentiment, a bigger realization.
Perhaps that’s why he can’t shake off the awful mood that pervades his senses throughout the rest of the night, the earrings hanging from your ears catching the twinkly, warm lights and mocking him with delighted amusement. There’s nothing else you can do, you nerdy boy.
Perhaps that’s also why, when the house starts to empty and you’re in his kitchen making yourself helpful with dishes, he slips on composure when you accidentally let a glass slide from your dainty hands.
It breaks the moment it meets the ground, and the sound penetrates his ears, both of you jumping at the impact. He hisses, “What— what the heck, ___!”
You’re startled, blinking up at him. It’s not the chaos from the glass, not its tiny pieces covering the floor and reaching your feet. It’s the deliberate frustration of his tone, one he’s never let free, especially with you.
You pant for apologies, but they can’t seem to be let out. Wide eyes jumping between his own bug ones, your brows draw up in shame. It has never been this easy to get him bothered. Hell, you’ve even struggled to.
Jeongguk only sighs, dragging a hand across his nape, and he regrets the quiet sharpness in his voice the second he lets it out, “God. Be more careful next time.”
He’s still quicker than you on his feet, moving to sweep the mess you’ve created before you can even react. You seem to move in slow, infinite motions, kneeling down to pick up the bigger pieces, all while keeping an unusual silence.
He steals a glance up at you, biting his lower pierced lip in sudden guilt, “Are you okay?”
Your hands pause, clutching a fragment of glass as your eyes flicker up to meet his. You nod, distant, and it does nothing to convince him.
He doesn’t even seem to be paying attention to your hesitant confirmation, rather he’s hyper-focused on your fingers, and before you realize the shift in his expression, he alarmedly blurts out, “Goldie. You’re bleeding.”
The sting barely registers for you until his words bring it to your attention. Looking down, you see a sharp, red line running across your finger, small but enough to make Jeongguk spring into action.
You’re lifted off the floor and ushered to the bathroom in fractions of seconds, letting yourself be handled like you don’t own your body. The only thing you want to be aware of is the switch in his behaviour. He’s back to normal once he’s in his quiet bubble of concentration, movements precise as he cleans the barely visible wound and carefully places a band aid over it.
All while he can’t stop apologizing, “I’m sorry for yelling at you. That was not your fault. But, this. This is my fa—”
“Jeongguk, it’s just a scratch.”
The way he meets your eyes with his face drawn tight and brows furrowed makes you rethink your statement. Maybe it’s more than a scratch. Maybe it’s the only thing that snapped him out of his frustrated daze.
“It doesn’t matter. You didn’t deserve that.”
Your first instinct is to giggle; it’s a resonance of the butterflies childishly swarming in your belly from the proximity and his careful words. Both your gazes soften as you accept each other, even the faulted versions of tonight, and a timid smile stretches over his lips.
You hesitate before speaking again, your mouth opening only to close, reconsidering your words; but then you finally let out what you had foolishly planned as your next desperate attempt to cling to him.
“Can you… My car is… Can you take me home?”
What you’re now sure you like the most about Jeongguk is how he caters to your needs before you even have to voice them. The soft kindness in his eyes, the way his body instinctively shifts to act before his mind even fully processes the request. He’s already nodding, ready to make it happen for you.
“Yeah. Of course.”
The heat in his car fans over your cheeks, dusting them with a soft red that has his Adam’s apple bobbing every time he turns to steal glances at you at stoplights. You keep talking, filling the air with contentment about the night’s events, and it’s like that subtle slip of his never happened.
It’s almost too easy to surrender and pretend that everything is fine, that he doesn’t feel the ache of wanting more. If staying a nerd in your eyes means getting to be this close, to hear your laughter, to see the slight curve of your lips as you speak, then maybe it’s enough.
His subtle gestures — adjusting the temperature so you’re comfortable, his hands gripping the steering wheel a little tighter when your giggles spill into the cabin — don’t go unnoticed. They settle into you and have your heart beating anticipatedly.
God, you won’t regret what you’re about to do.
By the time he pulls up in front of your place, you promptly turn to him before he can offer anything else, voice a bit too eager, “Would you like to come inside?”
“Huh—”
“I’ll show you my gift.”
Jeongguk sits on your couch, because you tell him to wait there. And of course, he’s a great listener. Very obedient, willing to follow your every order.
His fingertips drum restlessly on his thighs and he can only busy himself with his surroundings, every detail speaking for you. What’s definitely more prominent is the intoxicating scent of vanilla that clings in the air, of which he hopes his lungs inhale the entirety of, never getting enough of everything that is you.
When you come into his vision again, walking down the stairs in quiet steps, you’re tightly hugged in a trench coat, the textured belt cinched snugly around you and accentuating the small of your waist. Under it, your legs are bare. It has his mouth drying and his legs spreading stiffly on the couch.
He thought he got better at hiding his concerning infatuation. He hopes he did.
That’s why he initially manages to chuckle and attempt a joke, “Are you going somew—”
“Ta-da.”
Jeongguk doesn’t think he’s breathing. He doesn’t think he can even breathe anymore. His blinking fastens, brain stumbling over itself as it tries to make sense of what he’s sitting in front of.
You’ve loosened the coat just enough for the fabric to fall and reveal what you’ve carefully wrapped for him. You’re a gift coming in a red lingerie set clinging to your perfect curves, your boobs deliciously spilling out from the sides of your lace top and the line of your panties thin enough to leave little to the imagination.
He pants, scanning over your body once, twice, three times, questioning if the wine was perhaps laced with stronger substances, “What— What is this—”
“It’s my gift for you. Merry Christmas, Gguk.”
Meeting your face again, he nearly groans. You’re almost bare before him, yet you still sport a crimson blush and your teeth graze your bottom lip in a sheepish smile, in a way that is so achingly you. He can feel himself throbbing painfully in his pants. Thinks he could cum just from this view, tip over the edge without a single touch, no matter how bad he needs it.
“Fuck.”
You’ve barely ever heard Jeongguk curse throughout the time you’ve known him for. He only sometimes reserves that for his monitor, Overwatch games causing his composure to slip in adorable loud whispers.
But it’s like you’ve broken his dam, and he only lets more slip as you walk slowly but certainly closer to him, coat discarded on the floor, “Oh my, fuck. Holy shit. Thank you. Thank you. I— I don’t know what to do.”
It’s a quiet plea, the one that’s hidden in his strained words but clear in his full eyes glazed over with anticipation, his hands hovering uncertainly over his thighs, chest still heaving and struggling with manual breathing. He’s begging to feel deserving of this, to have you prove to him that it’s what you truly want for the both of you, to have you touching him and to be touching you.
He can’t help the moan that escapes him when you position yourself in between his spread legs, bodies close yet not touching, but he’s dying to feel you.
Now your turn to bend at his every request, your head tilts and your smile widens the more he’s forced to crane his neck up to keep your gazes connected, pending off your every syllable, “You don’t have to do anything. Will you let me take care of you?
“Yes, please,” the confirmation is immediate and empty of hesitance. Under you, Jeongguk nods promptly with his lips agape, watering with want when you straddle his lap to sit yourself on him.
He wails, throwing his head back and searching for all the strength it takes from holding back his instinct to snap up against your core, snuggled atop his raging hardness. At his shameless desperation, your giggles fill his ears, and when they’re followed by your cold hand on his cheek redirecting his gaze on yours, he feels feverish.
Delirious, eyes barely keeping from rolling back, his brain reduced to senseless blabbering, “My God. Thank you for this.”
With his brows adorably drawn up, he focuses on your dilated pupils now that your faces are mere centimetres apart, and you close the distance with small pecks that trace his jaw, up to his ear lobe, whispering against the skin, “Are you seriously thanking God while I’m about to take your virginity?
Jeongguk hisses in a frenzied surge, his hands still unsurely keeping from touching you, and your sarcastic pun has him full on rambling, “Shit, sorry. I don’t even believe in God. This just feels too good to be true. You look like a fucking angel.”
“Ggukkie, language!” Your seductive tone along with your chuckle reverberates right against his chest, your hands moving to lead your own palms up and down his broad front, and when you subtly roll your hips against his clothed length, he breaks into a cry.
“Oh, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I’ll come so soon,” you don’t know if it’s the adrenaline of the moment, but you’ve never witnessed such a bold Jeongguk. It only spurs you further, your hand traveling down, and down, until it sneaks under his sweater.
When you find his nipple, you playfully roll it between your pointer and thumb, his trembling body bucking up in an unstoppable urge, quiet whimpers working to keep his tone down. But you want to hear him scream under you, just as loud as you can feel his heart beating.
You bite your lip as your eyes drift downward, watching where your bodies meet in slow, teasing drags. His wide palms press into the cushions on either side of you, his knuckles turning white from the force of his grip, and when you lift your gaze to meet his face again the delicious buzz pooling low in your stomach intensifies, your lips parting instinctively. A pretty blush creeps up his neck, painting his sharp jaw and cheekbones in shades of red, and his eyes, clouded, desperate, and burning with unfiltered need, lock onto you with a gaze that makes your knees weak even as you straddle him.
The simple grinding through the layers of clothing you still have on has you releasing whiny gasps in the air, his cock sliding torturously between your folds, and if you’re so affected by every shift you can hardly fathom what he must be feeling under you.
So you wonder out loud, voice rough the more you feel his stiff nipple under your fingertips, “How long since you’ve been touched properly, hm?”
His body hiccups, shaking with the barely contained lust, “Since— Since you last did, goldie.”
You coo, slowing down your movements and bringing your fingers to the hem of his jumper only to lift it and toss it behind you carelessly, “You’re so sensitive, aren't you?” At the view of his exposed chest, you can’t help roaming the expanse of it and feeling the tensing muscles under your skin, and by now you’re sure your panties must be ruined.
“Puh— please,” the plea is barely coherent, whispered out messily through high-pitched moans, but he begs again, “I wanna touch you too.”
“Then…” You let your hands speak for you, moving them to lead his own big ones to rest at your thighs, letting them drag up the curve of your ass. You’re impossibly close to his lips now, fanning against them, “Feel me, Gguk.”
Unable to resist, you fall forward and catch his mouth with yours in a kiss that struggles to find a rhythm, that has your tongues tangled in an uncoordinated dance, but that inevitably has you both humming loudly in an effort to almost devour each other, and his hands digging in your bare skin only force a gasp out of you.
In an impatient rush, you urge him to unclasp your bra, his unpractised and shaky fingers being joined by your experienced ones to finally free you from the tight confines, and as much as he wants to make kissing you a sport just to win every gold medal and break record after record, he can’t help separating from your lips with a wet sound to look down at your exposed breasts.
Jeongguk groans, and this time he doesn’t need you guiding him. It’s his own palms moving to cup you, and the innocent, light feather touch causes you to throw your head back and resume your slow grinding on top of him.
Both of you are panting messes, his moans significantly louder the more he gets to knead at your softness only to slice his thumb over your hardened nipples, the contrast making his brows furrow in hazed need, and when you arch your back into him he squeezes your tit to his mouth, eliciting a surprised wail from you.
Even when he gets closer, your sensitive nub engulfed by his swollen lips, he keeps looking up at you for approval with wide, teary eyes that beg for you to praise him. And with a hand gripping his wavy locks, you nod repeatedly for him to keep going, “Fuck, baby. Just like that, oh my God.”
He hums lowly with his mouth stuffed, his fingers digging in your flesh the more you drag your cunt mercilessly over the outline of his thickness, and he has to release you with a pop and rest his head on the couch behind him, palms keeping you somewhat still by the waist, panting out a desperate request when he feels himself throb dangerously close to his high, “G—Goldie, I can’t. Don’t— Don’t wanna cum like this.”
You lift your hips just enough for the both of you to whimper at the loss of friction, and you murmur through a string of kisses along his exposed neck, “How do you want to cum then, huh?”
He only whines, cheeks flushed with want and eyes glossy, forehead creasing with the way his brows are stressing, “Please.”
You show no mercy, flashing him with a wicked smirk and a teasing tilt of your head, “Ah-ah. Say it.”
Gulping with effort, his waist twitches up unconsciously to seek for your touch once again, and with his face turned to the side he admits in the smallest voice, “‘Nside of you.”
“Good boy. Gonna give you exactly what you want.”
He voices a loud cry just from the sound of your promise, only echoing more intensely when you hastily work at his zipper. It’s messy, uncertain, and it elicits breathy giggles from the two of you, drunk on adoration and high on desire.
Eventually, he’s stripped free from his confines, and his cock stands proud and hard, veins pumping the blood that has it throbbing against his toned stomach.
Jeongguk can feel your hooded eyes on him, can sense his tip wettening with the simple way you seem starved and eager to taste him, your hand coming too close to where he needs you the most before he gently grabs your wrist to stop it.
Automatically, your head snaps up, and the look on his face is one of nervous desperation, “Wan’ you to kiss me, please.”
You’re ready to comply to his every demand, and this one is as easy as it gets. You want to give him everything— whatever he wants, however he wants it.
Your lips mold with his in worldless acceptance, absorbing all you were afraid to voice to each other, making up for all the time you wasted, devoting to a sealed promise, the one that dances between your connected tongues, saliva making it wet and breathless.
Even more when your slim fingers trail down his torso before wrapping around his length, your wrist expertly flicking in a teasing touch, and his moan is unrestrained as it tears through the kiss. You swallow the sound greedily, steadying you against his chest rising and falling in frantic pants.
Before he can protest, his own hips bucking up in a silent beg for more, you steal the air from his lungs when you move your panties to the side and align your entrance with his tip, just to sink down on it.
The drag is slow and it has both of your eyes rolling back, pleased groans filling the air and straining against your throat when you fully sit yourself wrapped around his dick. You search for him, “You okay?”
“Shit,” Jeongguk seems hypnotised by the view of his thickness wrecking you in half, and his palms come to rest at your waist where his fingers dig into the skin. Your own playing with the hair on his nape only seem to make him more vulnerable, “This is perfect. You feel so good and warm, fuck.”
You’re not used to hearing him curse so openly and so often, and it naturally makes you giggle, the sound tickling his ears and leading his dilated pupils to look up at you through his lashes. Your sweet laughter fades into a lasting smile, one he can’t help but kiss, even if it’s all teeth, the contagious sight of your happiness getting to him too.
The moment is sickeningly sweet, bodies connected in more ways than one. With your kiss only deepening and your chest melting against his, you pull him impossibly closer by the back of his neck and start attempting slow motions on top of him.
You hear him through his thundering heartbeat, “Goldie… I— I don’t think I can last any longer, I’m so sorry, I—”
“Oh, shit, baby,” one particular shift has his length, deeply stuffed in your tight walls, finding your spot and teasing it with an electric buzz that travels through your body, “It’s okay. I’m so close too.”
The moment you try a firmier bounce and feel him find you again, you can’t help the way your movements fasten, your moans thick and low against your throat, his own louder and ricocheting through the walls.
You steady yourself with one of you palms on his thigh, leaning your weight back and finding a new angle to fuck yourself on him. He watches in awe as you work your fingers on your clit, rapid circling movements causing his mouth to hang open at the squelching sounds.
He pants, his wide hands guiding your riding, pushing you up and down, “Can— Can I touch you?”
You hum, but it sounds more like a whine, “Hm, of course, pretty boy,” the hand that was stimulating your sensitive nub now comes behind you to help support yourself on both of his muscular thighs, flexing under every shift.
Jeongguk is unpracticed as he leads his thumb to rest at your clit, applying a soft pressure and mimicking the same pattern he observed from you. He only seems to be focusing on his doing for the first few moments before he searches up for the reaction on your face, and he whimpers when he finds your bottom lip trapped between your teeth, your brows drawn up in pleasure.
You smile at the unconscious twitch of his chin, and give him just what you know he wants, “Always seeking my approval. You’re so good.”
The simple praise only has him working on you with more confidence, collecting some of your wetness and sliding it up along your lips. He learns fast, listening to your every sound and centering on your pleasure, as best as he can with his own knot getting closer to bursting.
You’re clearly affected by the simulations, your hips stuttering and riding around him, but you still make sure to concentrate on him first, “I’ll tell you when to cum, hm? You’ll listen to me, right?”
Jeongguk nods before he even knows what he’s agreeing to, “Y—yes. Yes, yes, fuck. I’ll be good. Wanna be so, so good for you. Wanna c—cum for you.”
“You’re so filthy, baby. Naughty boy. Fuck me.”
His hips meet you up with harsh thrusts that have you lose your balance on him, and you can only throw yourself with your arms around his broad shoulders, face hidden in the crook of his neck as he lets his desire take over, fucking up into you with a desperate need for release.
You think you see stars with the way he relentlessly pounds your hole, wet folds sliding along his length and causing a mess between you, his own slickness mixed with yours trailing down and pooling at the base. The sounds are inglorious, and they merge perfectly with your wails.
Breathing in his scent, you know he’s close from the way his thrusts are stammering sloppily, and his moans are closer to strained whines. You concede, “F—Fucking cum, Gguk. Cum inside me, fuck.”
He nods, slamming you down to meet his movements, desperate to feel you before he can stop himself, “Cum with me, pleas— Oh.”
When your walls spasm around him with your orgasm hitting you like a tidal wave, causing you to shake in his embrace around you, he feels himself cum unannounced, hard and thick, sprouts of white liquid relentlessly pumping inside your warmth.
You milk him dry, both your wails drained with the effort and fading into breathless gasps, his arms around you falling limply at his sides. You’re sprawled on his chest, emptied from any energy, and he is just as spent with his head lolling against the back of the couch.
But you feel it in your heartbeats syncing, the realization of what happened, what finally happened. You feel it in his face moving down to find your lips and catch them in a sweet peck, his fingers trailing up again to trace lazy patterns on your back before tangling in your hair, grounding himself in you.
It’s your own smiles breaking through the kiss, lashes tickling, and both of you laugh senselessly as you come down from the moment.
“Fuck,” Jeongguk breathes out, voice raspy, “This was the best Christmas gift ever.”
You snicker, biting your lip to hold back your amusement, “Oh, baby. It was just an excuse to fuck you. I actually did forget your gift at home.”
“W—What?” His brows shoot up, his post-orgasm haze momentarily replaced with incredulity as his cheeks redden even more.
When Jeongguk straightens on the couch, so do you, steadying your weak frame with your hands splayed against his chest. Sheepishly, you confess, “Yeah. Bought you that Mario game yo—“
“Princess Peach: Showtime?”
“Yea—”
Jeongguk gasps dramatically, his excitement so pure it’s almost jarring considering what just transpired, and that he’s no longer a virgin, “God, I fucking love— that game. That is the best Christmas gift ever.”
You can’t hold back your laughter this time, shaking your head at how easily he slips back into his usual self, the one that had you buying a Victoria’s Secret set in that shade of burgundy he said he didn’t like just to attempt a crazy chance at having him.
Leaning forward, you press a lingering kiss to his lips that brings you back to the realization that you finally did get to have him, before murmuring against them, “Well, that and a second round. What do you say?”
“Please.”
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wendichester · 29 days ago
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˖ . ݁𝜗𝜚. ݁₊ on his wrist,
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summary. dean loves your simple, worn-out, black hair tie. it's awfully handy for your extracurricular activities.
pairing. dean winchester + reader
wordcout. 589.
notes. 18+, implied intimacy. mdni .ᐟ
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Dean Winchester always has your hair tie on his wrist. It's one of those little back ones—plain, stretchy, and just slightly frayed from being used too many times. It doesn't look like much, but it's there, circling his wrist snugly like it just belongs.
The first time you noticed it, you thought maybe he just forgot to take it off. After all, you'd tossed it onto the nightstand, and Dean being Dean, probably scooped it up without even thinking. But now, it's always there. Always.
Even when he's stuffing his hands into his jacket pockets or wiping grease off them after working on the Impala, the hair tie stays on.
It's kind of adorable, really. Not that anyone would dare call Dean Winchester adorable. Not out loud, anyway.
"You gonna keep that on forever?" Sam asks one morning, arching a brow at his brother over a cup of coffee.
Dean doesn't even bother look up. "Yep,"
Sam smirks and mutters something under his breath about how Dean is "whipped", but the oldest Winchester just shrugs it off, casually twirling the band around his wrist like it's no big deal. But it is a big deal. To you, at least.
Because, sure, it's just a hair tie, but everyone knows Dean's not the type to hold onto things unless they matter. He doesn't do sentimental—at least, not in the traditional sense. But this? This is his version of it.
And, of course, there's another reason he wears it.
It's late. you're in his lap, straddling him like it’s second nature. His hands are everywhere—your waist, your back, slipping under your shirt to trace the soft skin beneath.
Your fingers tangle in his hair as your mouths crash together, hot and desperate. He kisses like he fights, all passion and raw intensity, like he needs you more than his next breath. You shift in his lap, feeling him groan against your lips, and it’s almost too much, "You're gonna kill me," he mutters against your lips.
He pulls you back in for another kiss—messy and full of heat, the kind that steals your breath and sends your heart racing. You feel the scratch of his stubble against your skin, the way his lips curve into a smile even as they're locked on yours.
Then, suddenly, you're slipping down onto your knees between his legs. Dean's jaw clenches, his eyes following your every move, and you feel his hands before you even look up. "C'mere," One of them cups your cheek, rough and warm, while the other brushes through your hair, gathering it up with slow, practiced ease.
"Hold still for me, sweetheart," You glance up at him, your breath catching in your chest. He's looking down at you, and it's almost too much—the tenderness in his expression, the hunger in his eyes. His fingers find the tie on his wrist, slipping it off in one smooth motion.
He works quickly, threading the elastic through your hair and securing it with an almost reverent touch. It's ridiculous, how careful he's being, as if tying your hair back is the most important thing he's done all day. His hands linger, rough and warm, the slightest tug making your breath hitch.
"There," he says, his thumb brushing along your jaw. Dean leans back again, his eyes dark and heavy-lidded as he takes you in. He's quiet for a beat, just watching you, and when he finally speaks, his voice is soft but filled with something raw. "You're just so damn pretty like this, baby."
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theemporium · 11 days ago
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[17.2k] nico hischier didn't expect to go first overall. he didn't expect to become captain of the new jersey devils. he didn't expect to become a dad to twins. and he certainly didn't expect to fall in love with the twins' nanny.
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Becoming a father was one of the best things that ever happened to Nico Hischier. 
It was one of those things that he always knew would happen in his life, something that fit with his other aspirations. It wasn’t like hockey. Not when the chances of him going first overall and becoming captain and leading his team to playoffs seemed like a series of right choices made to go down the right path. 
Becoming a father was something he kind of expected to happen in his life one day, one of those things he always saw in his future but never thought too hard about. 
He just never expected it to happen the way it did. 
If he was being completely honest, he assumed somewhere amongst the hectic life of being a NHL player, he would meet someone and they would fall in love and all the milestones would be reached together: anniversaries, marriage, children. It was a sweet fantasy many people had and Nico was just another one on the list. 
The series of events that led towards Marlene and Otto Hischier becoming a part of his life were unconventional, but he wouldn’t change it for the world. 
He still remembered the day he met them, clearer than any other memory he had. Clearer than his draft day, his first NHL goal, the day he was awarded captaincy. 
The day he met his children stood out, a mix of chaos and stress and fear. But also love and adoration and a step into a new era of his life that he welcomed, even if he was thrown into the deep end with little to no preparation. 
Before the twins, the most experience he had with kids was the boys on the team who had children. On family skate days, at team bonding events, even the odd babysitting here and there to give the parents a break for a night. 
But having two newborns suddenly under his care was a hurdle Nico never considered he would have to jump in his life. 
All things considered, the timing had worked out. 
Off-season was around the corner, he had no plans to play for Worlds and he had a few months to settle into some form of routine whilst coming to terms with the fact he was a father. 
The days were long, the nights were longer but he made it. He was never really alone, not with the insane support system he had in his team and in his family. Whenever he felt like he was spiralling, there was someone there to hold his hand. 
He would be lying if he said he wasn’t shitting himself when preseason training came around again. 
He would be lying if he said his parents weren’t absolute saviours the first year of the twins’ lives, practically moving in as they followed him back to Jersey. 
It wasn’t easy, far from it. He couldn’t get rid of the fear that he was doing it all wrong, that he was going to somehow fuck up and ruin everything and not give his children the lives they deserved. He constantly felt on edge, wanting nothing more than to give them the best lives he could, the best childhood he could. 
Which led them to the twins’ belated second birthday party at his parents’ house in Switzerland, having what had been a recurring argument with his parents since the off-season started. 
“What was wrong with Mrs Holden?” 
Nico let out a sigh, already feeling a sense of deja vu washing over him. “She was too…traditional. She wouldn’t let Marley wear the blue dress she loves so much.” 
His mother hummed. “And that one that wanted to be a teacher, hm? Vanessa! She seemed sweet.” 
“Yes, until she started insisting my parenting skills were wrong because I wasn’t pushing the twins to learn their abc’s before they could say three words,” Nico scoffed under his breath, frowning as the memory of the woman repeated in his head. 
“And that nice boy, Felix? He was Swiss too!” Rino questioned. “The twins loved him.” 
“Yeah, and he loved telling people the twins were his kids too,” Nico deadpanned. 
“He said he was an uncle,” Rino corrected. 
“That doesn’t make it any better,” Nico muttered. 
“Fine then,” Katja sighed. “What about Olive? You liked her and she looked after the kids for months!” 
“Yes but,” Nico waved his hand in some incoherent gesture. “She wasn’t right for them.” 
“Nico,” Rino said in a heavy voice. 
“I know you think I’m being overprotective but I just want what’s best for them,” Nico insisted, his fingers lightly skimming over the side of the glass in front of him. “They are getting older and they are more impressionable. They need stability and I need someone I can trust will be a good influence on them.” 
“Yes but it’s been months of looking and you haven’t found anyone,” Rino pointed out. “Which is fine now, you have months until preseason starts. But it only gets harder the longer you leave it.”
Nico swallowed harshly. “I know, I know…”
“We know you care about them,” Katja spoke in a soft voice, reaching across the table to place her hand on his arm. “We get it. Trust me, we do. But the way you care about them is the way we care about you, and we are just worried about you being left to take care of the twins all by yourself when the season starts.” 
“I’ll find someone,” Nico said, and he hoped he sounded as determined as he did in his head. “It will be worth it. And they will be what the twins need.” 
Katja smiled, though it looked a bit sad. “We hope so.” 
“Where are the twins, anyways?” Rino questioned, steering the conversation away and giving Nico a chance to relax his shoulders. “I’m surprised they haven’t started demanding cake.” 
“Ah,” Nico smiled. “That’s because they are playing with—“
“TICKLE MONSTER IS GOING TO GET YOU!” 
“No!” 
“Yes!”
Nico’s grin widened even more as the sounds of his children’s giggles sounded through the house. “Tickle monster with Unkel Luca,” he finished eventually as the three of them raced into the room. 
Marley and Otto made a beeline for him, cheeks red and smiles wide as they jumped for his lap, screeching and squealing and laughing as they tugged on their father’s shirt. 
“Papa! Papa!” Marley giggled, hiding her face against his forearm as she clung onto him. “Unkel Luca is running!” 
“He’s running after you?” Nico asked, watching as both nodded quickly. He stole a glance at his older brother, watching as he stood there with an innocent smile before shaking his head fondly. “That’s not very nice of him, is it?”
“No,” Otto giggled. “Game, Papa, game!” 
“Oh, it’s a game,” Nico nodded in understanding. 
“Need to hide,” Marley explained, panting lightly. And then she blinked, big brown eyes staring up at him in a way that made him want to melt. “Help us?” 
Nico couldn’t help but sigh happily. “Yeah, baby, Papa will help.” 
He lifted the edge of the tablecloth high enough for the twins’ eyes to widen in delight at their new hiding place, both ducking their heads as they shuffled under the table and quickly planted themselves by their grandparents’ feet with high-pitched giggles. 
Luca grinned, waiting for Nico to drop the tablecloth before he let out an exaggerated sigh and placed his hands on his hips. “Oh no! Where did they go?” 
Nico could feel his heart melting even more when their giggles only got louder. 
Katja’s expression softened as she watched the way her youngest son slip into the role of a father so well. 
“You’ll find someone,” Katja nodded, smiling in a way only a mother looking at her child could. “And I’m sure they will be perfect for the twins.” 
Nico returned the smile, something quite like hope twisting in his stomach. 
June and July and August slipped away from him before he realised what was happening. 
He had taken the summer for granted, basking in life away from hockey and cameras and expectations. He was enjoying spending time with his kids and his family and his friends back home. He was enjoying living a normal, less-than-hectic life. 
Then all too soon, he was herding two hyperactive toddlers onto a plane back to Jersey with the overwhelming reality that he had done exactly what his parents warned him about and left everything far too last minute. 
“Papa?” 
He blinked, turning his head to find Otto slumped with his head on Nico’s thigh, blinking as he fought to keep his eyes open. 
“Uncle Jack come in car?” Otto questioned, something quite excited in his voice despite the exhaustion. 
“Yeah, Uncle Jack is picking us up,” Nico nodded with a smile as he reached to gently push his fingers through the young boy’s hair, watching as his eyes fluttered shut. “He’s excited to see you both.” 
Otto blinked. “Hugs?” 
Nico hummed, lightly scratching his scalp in the way that always made Otto sleepy—even as a baby. “Uncle Jack is going to give you so many hugs.” 
“Good,” Otto murmured before slumping back down against his thigh. 
Unsurprisingly, neither Otto nor Marley stayed awake by the time Jack arrived. It hadn’t stopped Jack from cooing and smiling and muttering a ‘finally back home’ before he helped Nico settle the twins into the car seats in the back. 
Nico hadn’t even realised how exhausted he was himself until he was settled in the passenger seat, his eyes closing as he let out a deep sigh. 
“So,” Jack begins. 
Nico let out a hum of acknowledgement. 
“I had lunch at Curtis’ the other day,” he continued, doing what he did best and beating around whatever point he wanted to make because he wanted to tell a story. 
“Is that so?” Nico muttered because he knew Jack and he knew the boy wouldn’t continue unless he played along. 
“He mentioned you were still looking for a nanny for the twins,” Jack said, his fingers aimlessly tapping against the wheel. “Said you asked him about any good agencies you could go through.” 
Nico slowly opened his eyes, turning his head to flash his friend a look. “Where are you going with this?” 
“Nothing,” Jack shrugged his shoulders. “Just wondering why you didn’t ask me too, you know?” 
Nico blinked. “Because Curtis has children, Jack.” 
“I could still find you a good babysitter,” Jack argued, his nose scrunching slightly. “You haven’t given me a chance.” 
“I don’t think I want to give you a chance,” Nico retorted. 
“Rude,” Jack huffed. “I’ll have you know, as the twins’ favourite uncle—” 
Nico made a small noise of disagreement (just to wind the younger boy up). 
Jack’s eyes narrowed. “As the twins’ favourite uncle,” he repeated a little more forcefully. “You gotta have a little faith that I would find someone suitable for the job.” 
Nico let out a deep sigh. “You already have someone in mind, don’t you?” 
Jack flashed him an innocent grin. “In my defence, Curtis had to listen to the fifteen possible candidates I found and narrowed it down to the one he would trust with his kids too.” 
And maybe it was the exhaustion. Or maybe it was the desperation. Or maybe—though he would never admit it to Jack for the sake of the boy’s ego getting bigger—he could trust Jack to know the kind of person Nico needed around the twins. 
And there was the added bonus he could say ‘I told you so’ if it went wrong. 
“Fine,” Nico said eventually. “I’ll check out your nanny.” 
“So, you’re going on a date?” 
“Stop calling it a date,” you grumbled into the phone as you walked down the street, brows furrowed as you read the names of the shops you passed. “It’s just an interview.” 
“Back in my day, a man took a lady to a coffee shop for a date. Interviews were in offices.” 
You rolled your eyes a little at your grandmother’s words. “Coffee shop dates aren’t a generational thing, people still do them.” 
“So you admit it’s a date?” 
“Once again, it’s an interview for a new job, Nana,” you said, a voice in the back of your mind reminding you to not give into the conversation. But it was too late. 
“Well, excuse me for just wanting my lovely granddaughter to find someone instead of working herself to the bone.” 
“Nana,” you said with a sigh. 
“You jump from family to family, I just want you to have the same thing, honey.” 
“I know,” you murmured, feeling a little guilty as the sincerity in her voice sounded through the phone. “When I go on that date, you’ll be the first to know.” 
“Actually, Bernice has this grandson—” 
“Bye, Nana!”
You winced a little at your phone, reminding yourself to visit her in the care home this weekend to make up for the phone call. And to bring those lemon bars she loved from the bakery down the road from you. It tended to soften her bad moods when you brought her sweet treats, and denying another one of her attempted blind dates was definitely going to put you in her bad books. 
But you pushed the thought away for now, straightening your back as you looked up at the sign above the cafe, double and triple checking it was the right place before walking in. Your eyes skimmed over the customers currently sat around the cafe, picking them apart until you paused on a man sitting alone, tucked away in the cosy book corner of the establishment. 
It was the white beanie on his head—the one he had mentioned he would be wearing—that confirmed to you he was the one you were meeting.
“Mr Hischier?” 
The man jumped a little, like his own name took him by surprise before he quickly schooled his features. Almost instinctively, he stood up from his seat before flashing you a polite and somewhat awkward smile. 
“Nico is fine,” he assured you before clearing his throat, gesturing towards the seat across from him. “Please, sit down. Can I get you anything?” 
“No, I’m fine,” you assured him, choosing to leave out the fact your heart was beating fast enough as it was. Caffeine wouldn’t help the interview jitters. “Just to make it clear from the start, your partner explained your situation and how the job might vary a bit from my previous schedules—” 
“Partner?” Nico repeated with a frown. 
“Yes, the one I spoke on the phone to originally for the job,” you said, keeping a polite smile on your face. “Uh, Jack, I believe his name was.” 
“I—” Nico’s face started to turn pink, a sheepish laugh escaping his lips. “No, Jack isn’t my partner. He is a close friend.” He paused before continuing. “Not close like that! Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I just mean, he is a very good friend of mine because we are also teammates. Who work together. On the same team.” 
“Right,” you murmured, your lips twitching upwards in amusement. “I’m sorry, usually it’s the parents calling up and he seemed to know so much about your kids so I assumed—”
“No, no, it’s fine,” Nico laughed, a little more relaxed than he was a few moments ago when you had walked into the cafe. “He really cares about the twins.”
Your smile softened a little. “From our short conversation, I could tell they mean a lot to him. And you do too, he seemed really persistent in finding the right person to help you out.” 
Nico nodded, but there was still a light blush on his cheeks. “It’s, uh, just me and the twins. The team helps out a lot but with our job, we travel a lot and the twins are getting older and I can’t always take them with me.” 
“You need someone who can provide them with structure and stability,” you guessed.
“Exactly,” Nico let out a short breath, his shoulders dropping a little. “I travel a lot. Sometimes gone for days at a time and I know that can be a lot—”
“Jack explained,” you assured him with a polite smile. “I’m aware of the arrangement, if that is what you’re worried about. It doesn’t put me off, especially with what Jack has told me. They seem like great kids.” 
“They are,” Nico said, beaming a little when he did.
You smiled, settling back against your seat. “Tell me more about them.”
Nico liked to think he was a good judge of character. 
And, though it would pain him to ever admit as much out loud, he couldn’t deny that Jack had made a great choice with you. It was overwhelming to think about but he should have never doubted Jack, not when the boy loved the twins almost as much as he did. Not when he and the others on the team treated the twins like they were family.
The boys had his back and that extended to his family too. 
After the initial interview, there was a little more back and forth between you and Nico, mostly discussing logistics and scheduling and further details. With preseason approaching, Nico preferred to have the twins established and comfortable with you before the regular season started and the long roadies began. 
And you were so cooperative, it honestly caught Nico off guard. It wasn’t like he expected you to make things difficult, but he had his fair share of babysitters and nannies who had made a point to be a bit hesitant about the schedule. 
It was refreshing to have someone on the same page as him. 
“Oh no, I wonder where they are hiding. I might never find them!”
Nico didn’t even bother to hide his smile as he stood in the middle of the living room, shaking his head fondly at the two pairs of legs peeking out from behind one of the couches. He had spent the last hour frantically cleaning the house for your arrival, wanting to make the best impression he could but the living room was a lost cause with a variety of kids' toys sprawled over the room.
With preseason starting soon, he was beginning to feel the heavy weight of the hockey season and his captain duties starting to settle in. But this was his biggest priority, his kids would always be his biggest priority. 
“I guess they don’t want me to meet our new fründ who was really excited to meet them,” Nico continued, letting out a theatrically loud sigh. 
It took seconds before Otto’s head popped up, eyes wide and curious. “New friend?” 
Nico smiled. “She is coming to meet you both today.”
“I want a new fründ!” Marley exclaimed as she popped up beside her brother, her grin matching his own and it made Nico’s chest tighten—in a good way, of course. 
“And what do we remember when we meet a new friend?” Nico asked, already crouching down as both twins ran towards him and happily tucked themselves into his arms.
“Be nice,” Otto said.
“Be kind,” Marley added.
“Good,” Nico praised, pressing quick kisses to both their cheeks as they giggled at the scratch of his beard against their skin. “Best behaviour, okay? This friend is going to be coming around a lot if you like her.”
Otto tilted his head. “Like the other friends?” 
Nico nodded. “Only if you like her.”
Because at the end of the day, that was what mattered most—that was what made him fire babysitters and nannies in the past. Credentials and first impressions only went so far compared to the opinion of his kids. He trusted their judgement. He wanted them happy and comfortable with the person who would be with them almost as much as he would be. He wanted the twins to choose their person too.
He knew his parents and even some of the guys on the team thought he was being picky, but Nico just thought he was being fair. His kids deserved to have someone they liked and trusted, he had a duty to find that person for them.
Even if their excitement was hidden by their own shyness and hesitancy when you finally rang the doorbell. 
“Hey,” Nico breathed out, smiling a little as he opened the door. “Come on in. The twins are excited to meet you.” 
“I’m excited to meet them,” you smiled back, stepping in and letting your eyes wander around the apartment. “Nice place.”
“Would you believe me if I said it’s never usually this clean?” Nico mused, trying to disperse the nerves bubbling in his chest.
“Potentially,” you retorted, still polite and lighthearted as your eyes continued to wander. 
“I appreciate the honesty,” Nico huffed out with a laugh, closing the door behind you before shifting his attention to the two toddlers who had now hidden themselves back behind the couch. “Otto, Marley, I thought you wanted to meet our new friend.” 
Your smile became less performative and more genuine as the two heads peeked from around the couch to stare at you curiously. They slowly wandered over, keeping close to Nico until they were practically hiding behind him with just enough visibility to keep watching you.
You crouched down, smiling softly as you offered them a wave. “Hi there, your dad has told me so much about you two.” 
Marley blinked before looking up at Nico, her little hands clinging onto the fabric of his jeans. “Papa?”
“It’s okay, baby, you can talk to her,” Nico assured, his thumb lightly smoothing over the back of her head as she tried to hide her face against his thigh.
It was Otto who tilted his head at you, looking more curious than anything. “Do you want to play mini sticks?” 
Nico watched your brows furrow with confusion but you kept a smile on your face. “I would love to! Is it okay if you teach me? I don’t think I have played before.”
Marley gasped, no longer bothered with hiding behind her father’s leg as she stepped around him. “You never play mini sticks before?”
You flashed her a sheepish smile. “I have never played any hockey before.” 
“We will teach you,” she said with a confident nod that made Nico grin.
“Watch out,” Nico commented, his words teasing but his gaze for his children adoring. “They are vicious. They are winners.”
“Just like Papa,” Otto confirmed with a nod of his head.
“We will teach you to win,” Marley said, also nodding her head.
You smiled at the two of them. “I can’t wait.” 
Over the next two weeks, Nico was pretty happy to report that his judge of character was, in fact, good. 
Despite his parents’ concern over leaving everything so last minute, the lead up to the preseason wasn’t as stressful as he imagined. As much as Jack joked about Nico being helicopter parent, he did tend to hover over the first few sessions just to make sure the twins were happy and content. 
Marley tended to take a little longer to warm up to new people, a little shy and cautious but still eager to make new friends. Otto was a little better but he tended to always look towards Nico when he needed to ask something, like a little confidence boost to make sure he wasn’t doing something he wasn’t meant to. And much to everyone’s amusement, they tended to be just as stubborn as he was. 
He just wanted to make sure they would be okay when he eventually left for training camp.
Nico was honestly a little dumbfounded just how much the twins liked you. Even more so at how quickly you seemed to pick up on their habits, on their personalities, on their quirks that most nannies had tried to change. 
He was glad the twins were happy but he would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little thrown off guard just how well you adapted to Otto and Marley.
One of the first times he really saw it was during a not-so-surprising morning tantrum from Otto who was being fussy and difficult and very, very loud. 
Nico had suspected he hadn’t slept well, and had his theory confirmed when the young boy started fussing and trying to wake his sister up in the early hours of the morning. Nico was already awake before his alarm went off, bleary eyed and exhausted and holding onto the guilt that the jet lag was still messing with the twins’ sleep schedule after being in Switzerland for the last few months.
You arrived at the apartment sometime just before eight in the morning, your face scrunched in sympathy as Nico opened the door—still dressed in whatever ratty sweatpants and thoroughly worn hoodie he threw on at five in the morning when there was barely any light in the room—looking like he kind of wanted his eardrums to burst already.
Nico opened his mouth, greetings and apologies ready to tumble out but you just shook your head with a sheepish smile.
“I get it,” was all you said before you slid into the apartment, closing the door before the screams could disturb the neighbours anymore than they already had. 
Nico had watched in a cloudy daze as you kneeled down on the floor beside the couch Otto had thrown himself over, your voice patient and soothing as you waited for him to lift his head before you finally reached out to lay a comforting hand on his back, like you wanted to make sure he saw you reach out first and make the decision on whether or not he wanted you to touch him. 
It took a while before he fully calmed down from the breakdown, still sniffly and red eyed by the time you coaxed the boy into enjoying some mini pancakes whilst some random cartoon played on the tv. 
Nico could only mutter his thanks so many times as he handed you a generously large mug of coffee.
And it continued like that over the introductory period. 
The twins started to pick up on the routine, and started to expect you in the house by the time they woke up. They started looking forward to you arriving, like a fun new step in their morning routine they welcomed far easier than they had with previous nannies. 
There were still moments where their eyes would look for him, look to their father to make sure he was still there and everything was okay. But the initial shyness disappeared, replaced with a familiarity they shared with few other people in their lives, like the team or family back in Switzerland. 
It made Nico feel a lot more settled by the time the preseason games came along. 
Nico had left the apartment during the twins’ afternoon nap, pressing two lingering kisses on their foreheads before he snuck out to head to the rink. He had been procrastinating, finding excuses to stay in the apartment until the last possible moment, clinging onto the last dregs of summer before the season truly started.
The game was as rough as one would expect after months without hockey. But it felt good. It felt even better when the final buzzer sounded through the Rock and the Devils came out the other end of their first preseason game of the year as the victors. It felt really good to have hockey back. 
And it felt even better to finally get back home to his kids. 
He knew it was past their bedtime and tried to tamper down his expectations, but it didn’t change the sense of relief that washed over him as he walked through the front door and let himself drop his bags by the entryway before walking further into the apartment. 
He was mildly surprised to find you sitting on the couch with the post game show on. 
He was even more surprised at the two sleeping figures curled up with their heads on your lap.
“Oh hey, you’re back.”
Nico stood a few feet away from the couch, staring at the scene in front of him with tired eyes. 
“Oh, right, sorry,” you laughed a little, an almost sleepy smile on your face as you looked down at the twins. “They insisted they wanted to watch the game and promptly passed out during the first break. But every time I tried to move them, they would get fussy and insist they were awake to watch you so I just let them doze off here.” 
Nico’s voice was soft when he spoke. “You let them watch?” 
You gave him a weird look. “Yeah? Was I not meant to? They really wanted to—” 
“No, it’s okay,” he assured you, a weird tightness in his chest as he wandered closer, his lips twitching when he saw Marley holding onto your ankle. “The other nannies usually sent them to bed. They didn’t want to sit and watch the games themselves.” 
“Well, I can’t say I knew what was going on,” you admitted sheepishly. “The twins tried explaining some of it to me but I have a feeling you don’t get penalties for nap times.” 
Nico snorted. “Jack told them once that if they get a penalty, they can take a nap in the box.” 
“Sounds like a fun rule,” you teased with a smile.
“Let me help you get them to bed,” Nico insisted as he leaned down, slowly and carefully picking Marley up into his arms.
“You sure?” You asked, even as you moved to pick Otto up without waking him. “You must be tired.”
“I’m fine,” Nico said, smiling a little. “It’s only the first game. Wait until we are halfway through the season.” 
“I may be strong but not strong enough to drag a two hundred pound hockey player to bed,” you told him, your smile widening as Nico let out a laugh—one he quickly had to muffle before he woke up the twins. 
“You might have to start increasing your bench press then.”
The tightness in his chest settled a little after you fondly rolled your eyes at him. It made the idea of the one day road trips on the preseason schedule a little easier to deal with. There were still a few more weeks before either of you had to deal with Nico being gone for longer roadies, but he didn’t fear the idea as much as he did.
“So.”
Nico let out a hum of acknowledgement, his eyes focused on the drill the third line was currently running. His lungs were still trying to recover from doing it himself a few minutes ago. 
“I was right about her, wasn’t I?” 
Nico blinked before he turned his head to look at the way Jack was leaning against his stick, a smug expression painted on his face. “What?” 
“The nanny,” Jack replied like it was obvious. “I was right about her, right? She’s perfect for the twins.” 
Nico resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “Are you really trying to boast in the middle of practice?” 
“Yes,” Jack replied with no hesitation. 
“She is good,” Nico nodded because he wasn’t going to lie, even if said lie would stop Jack’s ego inflating. “The twins love her—” 
“More than me?” 
“Oh my god,” Nico groaned, shoving the boy away with a laugh.
“I’m serious, Nico, do they love her more than me? Because then you have to fire her.” 
Nico didn’t respond, just shaking his head before he skated towards where Jonas and Timo were standing a few feet away. 
“Nico, am I still their favourite?!” 
“So, what? You can just hit each other and no one says anything?” 
Nico laughed. “Basically.” 
“This sport feels barbaric,” you murmured, your focus on the vegetables you were currently dicing. It took you a few moments to process your own words before your head snapped up. “In a really cool way, obviously.” 
“It’s a part of the game,” Nico replied with a shrug. “And sometimes the fights are justified. Sometimes you are fighting for your teammate’s honour.” 
“How noble,” you teased. 
“Give it a few more games and it will be your favourite part of hockey,” Nico mused before his eyes briefly glanced over at the clock. 
His mother always liked to joke that if there was one thing that really assured the twins were his children, it was their napping abilities. It was almost impressive how quickly they could pass out, dead to the world and happy to stay that way for two or three hours. 
It rivalled the naps he took before games. 
“Okay, so hitting is allowed,” you commented, gently elbowing him out the way so you could pour the diced vegetables into the pan on the stove. “Otto said helmet kisses are essential. Is that true?” 
Nico’s grin widened. “Yeah, they are essential,” he nodded. “Like after a win or a good goal, it’s normal to just…bop your helmets together.” 
“Like gentle rhinos,” you mused. “Who would’ve thought hockey was such a cute and violent sport?” 
“You really didn’t know anything about it?” Nico questioned. He noticed the way you tended not to talk about yourself too much, nothing beyond the facts he could pick between random comments and conversations here and there. Mostly when he was listening to you talk to the twins. 
“We weren’t really a hockey family,” you admitted sheepishly. “Nana said she did have a baseball phase but only because she liked the way the boys looked in the uniforms.” 
Nico let out a surprised laugh. “She told you that?” 
“You’d understand if you met her,” you muttered, though it sounded fond rather than annoyed. “She’s shameless and crude and the most honest person you’ll ever meet.” 
“Think I could make her a hockey fan?” Nico asked, raising his brows. 
“She would probably love the violence,” you replied with a snort. “You might have a new coach on your hands.” 
“It would help you learn the game,” Nico teased. 
You let out a groan. “How was I supposed to know the twins were lying about the pancake rule?”
Nico pressed his lips together to hold back his laugh. “You really thought there was a rule called the pancake penalty?” 
“Well with the amount all of you fall on the ice over nothing, it wouldn’t surprise me,” you retorted. 
“Touché.”
Thankfully for Nico’s sanity, the season started with a string of home games. 
It helped to live in the delusion of summer a little longer. He would go to practices and go to games but he would always come home to his apartment at the end, come home to the twins and to you and to the little bubble the four of you had created over the last few weeks. 
And it was clear that the twins loved it too, loved having you around more than he had ever seen with any previous nanny. 
“GOAL!” 
You let out a cheer, lifting your arms up to mimic Otto before he rushed towards you and threw his arms around your neck. 
“We did it, we did it!” He continued to cheer, giggling away as Nico let out a playful groan from the mini net he had set up in the living room. 
“It’s okay, Papa,” Marley assured him, one hand placed on his cheek as she spoke to him. “You are not a good goalie but you are a good player!” 
Nico huffed out a laugh, pulling Marley close to him as she squealed. “I think we will leave Uncle Marky in the goals for now, yeah?” 
“Otto, honey, remember what we do after a game,” you reminded the young boy in a soft voice as he happily propped himself on your lap. 
“Be a good person,” he nodded before looking at his father with big eyes. “Good game. I like playing with you. I love you.” 
You grinned. “Perfect, honey.” 
Marley tilted her head. “Why do you say that?” 
You glanced up at her, raising your brows. “What?” 
“Honey,” Marley repeated, a crease forming between her brows as she looked between you and Nico. “I thought we eat honey.”
“We do,” you nodded. “But sometimes you call someone honey when you care about them. It’s like a nickname. My grandma calls me honey because she cares about me.”
Marley nodded like she understood.
“Does that mean we call you honey?” Otto asked, tilting his head back to look up at you. “We care about you.” 
Your lips twitched upwards. “Yeah, you can call me honey.” 
“It sounds funny,” Marley admitted with a giggle before turning back to Nico. “Papa, you have to say it too!” 
Nico nodded, his own smile widening when his daughter nodded in approval. “And do I get to call you honey?” 
“No,” Marley said with a shake of her head. “It’s Honey’s name now!” 
But before Nico could respond, Otto was back on his feet with a mini stick in one hand and the makeshift puck in the other. 
“Honey, we are the winners!” 
“On a scale from one to ten, how bad was the tantrum?” 
“Not bad actually,” Nico admitted as Jack settled into the free seat next to him. “I think the excitement of Honey having a three day sleepover with them took away from the fact I wouldn’t be there.” 
The bus fell silent. 
Jack looked far too smug.
Nico could feel his cheeks burning up.
Jonas turned around in his seat to look at him. “Honey?” 
“It’s not like that,” Nico rushed to explain but he had a feeling none of the boys were buying what he was saying. “The twins call her Honey and I don’t want to confuse them—”
“Uh huh,” Nate snorted. “Bud, those two are little Einsteins. There’s no way that would confuse them.” 
Nico’s cheeks burned hotter. 
“So, when’s the wedding?” Timo asked with a grin.
“Shut up,” Nico muttered out, taking the bundled up hoodie Jack had been using as a pillow to throw at the other man a few rows down.
“Hey!” Jack gaped. 
“It’s nothing, don’t make it weird,” Nico said to the group, choosing to pointedly ignore the murmurs and looks of disbelief. “She’s the twins’ nanny.”
Nico also chose to ignore the way Jonas muttered ‘liar’ under his breath in Swiss German.
The call rang through three times before you picked up.
It was barely dinner time in Colorado, most boys happy to get settled in their hotel rooms and enjoy the night off to relax and prepare for the early practice in the morning. But it gave Nico the perfect opportunity to check in back home, have some time on the phone before the twins’ bedtime. 
His stomach was twisted in knots like it usually was when he left the twins until the sight of all three of you popped up on his screen.
“Papa!” 
His grin widened at the excitement in his kids’ voices. He didn’t think he would ever get sick of that.
“Woah, where’s all this energy coming from?” Nico questioned, watching fondly as the twins instantly broke into giggles, turning back to look at you before turning their attention back to their father.
“Honey said we would have dessert if we were good,” Otto told him, still grinning.
“We had chocolate!” Marley exclaimed.
“Well, you both were very good today,” you said, propping your phone up on the coffee table before letting yourself sit back on the floor, both twins determined to sit on your lap. “Good kids get good rewards.”
“And chocolate is the best,” Nico added, his eyes crinkling as he smiled. “Especially if it’s Swiss chocolate.” 
“Swiss chocolate is the best because Swiss is the best,” Otto nodded.
“Switzerland, schätzli,” Nico corrected with a small huff of laughter. “The country is called Switzerland but the people and the things are Swiss.” 
“Oh,” Otto said before turning to look at you. “Honey, we are Swiss!” 
You laughed, nodding. “My favourite Swiss people.”
“Including Papa?” Marley asked.
“Of course,” you nodded, shooting Nico an amused look. “All three of you.”
The twins beamed in response. Nico felt the odd urge to do the same.
“Are you excited for your sleepover with Honey?” Nico asked, feeling a little smug when the twins did exactly what he assumed they would and instantly started babbling away about how they had spent their day since he left for the bus earlier that morning.
It was around an hour or so later—after Nico had stayed on the phone for a bedtime story because the twins insisted he needed to hear one too—that Nico found himself just looking at you over the phone as you shuffled around the living room, cleaning up the last of the twins’ toys.
“Thank you,” Nico found himself saying before he could second-guess himself.
You looked confused. “For what?”
“Just being here this season,” Nico confessed, a lot more going unspoken. 
He wanted to tell you that he had never felt so at ease about leaving his kids with someone as much as he did with you. He wanted to tell you that he had never seen his kids so happy and bubbly around someone that wasn’t his family or his team. He wanted to tell you that he never thought he would find the person that fit the unreachable standard he made in his head when he was looking for a nanny for the twins and you seemed to go above and beyond. 
He wanted to tell you a lot but it was late and he didn’t think a facetime call during his first proper roadie of the season was the time to confess any of it. 
“Of course,” you said with a smile that made his stomach twist—in a good way. “You gonna win tomorrow?” 
Nico chuckled. “We’ll try.”
“Good,” you grinned. “You’ll have your biggest fans rooting for you back home in Jersey.”
His mouth was moving before he could even process his own thoughts. “Does that include you?” 
But you laughed and something in him eased.
“Yeah, I think I’m starting to understand this whole hockey thing.”
Nico found his smile widening. “Good.” 
Nico felt like he blinked when suddenly the calendar was showing November. 
The pace of the season felt a lot faster than usual, and he was yet to work out if that was for better or for worse. But the team was feeling good, they had more wins than losses and—even if he wouldn’t say it out loud in fear of jinxing something before it happened—he had a really good feeling about this year’s team.
Even as the aches and pains and bruises that usually came after weeks of non-stop hockey started to return, Nico found himself really enjoying the season in a way he hadn’t really experienced in a while.
It felt good when everything was starting to click into place, even off the ice. 
“You’re doing it wrong!” 
Nico paused peeling the banana he was currently holding. “Wrong?” 
Otto nodded, pouting up at his father.
“You’re not doing it the Honey way,” Marley said, pressing herself against his thigh like she usually did when she was tired and barely awake and still a bit fussy from Nico waking her up.
“The Honey way?” Nico questioned, glancing down at the banana with a pensive look. He didn’t realise there were multiple ways to peel and cut a banana. 
“She makes the best!” Otto insisted. 
Nico let out a sigh as he leaned down, pressing a kiss to the top of both of their heads. “How about you both go wait on the couch and I’ll call Honey so we can make breakfast the Honey way?” 
“Call?” Marley repeated, blinking up at him. “I wanna talk to Honey!” 
“Me too!” 
“It’s Honey’s day off,” Nico reminded his children in a soft voice. “We don’t want to disturb her when she is busy, yes?” 
His heart clenched at the way the twins both deflated. 
“Okay, Papa.” 
He didn’t get the chance to say much else before they rushed off into the other room, leaving him feeling sluggish and far too on edge as he reached for his phone, pressing your contact before he could let himself spiral over his children’s dejected faces. 
“Hey, is everything okay? Are the twins okay? Are you okay?” 
“I—” Nico blinked, taking a few moments to really process the words you blurted out the second the call connected. “Yeah, everything is okay. Sorry to call you on your day off.” 
“It’s okay. I really don’t mind.”
“I don’t want to keep you long,” Nico started, staring down at the bananas on the counter in front of him with a frown. “Just wanted to know how you make banana pancakes the Honey way.” 
“The Honey way?” 
“The twins seem insistent that it’s the only way to make them,” Nico nodded, even though you couldn’t see him. “Apparently I’m cutting the bananas wrong?” 
His chest tightened even more at the sound of your laugh. 
“You have to mash them in Marley’s Spiderman bowl,” you said, and even if he couldn’t see you, he swore you were smiling too. “It makes them taste better, apparently. Helps them be big and strong for the rest of the day like a real superhero.” 
“Of course,” Nico huffed out a laugh, already moving to the cupboard where the bowl was kept. “Thanks. And sorry for bothering you again.” 
“It’s really no worries. I was just heading over to visit Nana anyways. She won’t mind if I’m a few minutes late.” 
“Say hi from me?” 
“Of course.” 
“Bye, Honey.”
“See you tomorrow, Nico.”
“Oh, he’s pretty.” 
“Nana!” 
“What?” The older woman exclaimed, waving you off. “I am just calling it as it is. And he’s a pretty boy. Nice smile. Nicer body–”
“Oh my god,” you groaned, lightly smacking her arm as Bernice from the other table looked over with a bitter look. “Keep your voice low.”
“Ignore her,” Nana commented offhandedly as she reached for her teacup. “She is just bitter because I said you were too pretty for her grandson.”
“How are you the same woman who scolded me about manners?” You grumbled under your breath, letting out a small hiss when she pinched your side.
“I am not saying anything wrong,” Nana insisted. “You’re a pretty girl who deserves a handsome man. Bernice’s grandson is not that man. This one though—” 
“He’s my boss.” 
“You say that like it’s an issue.” 
You blinked. “It is.”
“Youths these days,” Nana huffed before she leaned back in her armchair. “Fine, forget the pretty European man. Tell me, are the kids better than those brats you watched in Manhattan?” 
“They weren’t that bad,” you tried to start but the look you got in response made you wince. “Okay, the Smythe’s weren’t the best. But, Nana, these kids are…perfect. The cutest kids ever, and you wouldn’t believe how smart they are.”
“You’re happy here, yes?” Nana asked, something a little more serious in her voice. “Because I don’t want you working somewhere for the sake of it if you aren’t—”
“I’m happy, I promise,” you assured her with a softer smile, placing your hand over hers. “They are a good family.” 
“As long as they are taking care of you,” she insisted.
“They are,” you promised.
Nana hummed. “Could also let that boss of yours take care of you in other ways—”
Your cheeks burned. “Nana!” 
“He has dimples, honey! Dimples!” 
“I thought you called me here to tell me the bingo gossip.” 
“Oh, you would not believe the stunt Janice pulled—”
“Quick, Honey, quick!”
You grinned as you walked through the door, barely letting it shut behind you before you were crowded by two little humans. It was barely eight in the morning and you felt far from being human yourself, but the sight of both twins smiling up at you like they were waiting to jump on you the moment you walked through the door made it easy to forget the fact the sun had barely peeked through the clouds outside.
“I’m here, I’m here,” you sang back, trying to take your jacket off and hug the twins back the best you could all at once. “You two are very hyper this morning.” 
“We are going to the park with Uncle Jack!” Otto said excitedly, his chin digging into your thigh as he looked up at you.
You raised your brows in surprise. “We are?” 
“Yeah,” Nico appeared from the kitchen, a sheepish expression on his face. “I meant to message you last night to come over later but I forgot.” 
“I can leave—” You started but a small whine cut you off.
“But we are going to the park with Uncle Jack,” Marley pouted. “You can’t leave!” 
“Marley,” Nico quickly moved to kneel beside his daughter. “Honey will come back later. But she doesn’t have to—”
“But Uncle Jack said we were all going to the park,” Otto frowned, looking between you and Nico with a wounded expression. 
“Then we are all going,” you promised as you kneeled down too, giving the twins a smile.
Nico looked over their heads, giving you a grateful smile. “You really don’t have to.” 
“Nonsense,” you waved him off. “It’ll be fun.” 
“Jack is basically a third kid,” Nico warned you, though his voice was playful.
“Good thing you’re not gonna have to deal with them alone,” you retorted, feeling a little more awake when he grinned back at you. 
“TAG, YOU’RE IT!” 
Nico beamed as he watched the twins running down the path, giggling and screaming as Jack chased after them. They were both bundled up, not causing as much of a fuss about the hats and gloves you coaxed them into wearing before they left the house. It probably had something to do with the twins being more excited about you meeting Jack than focusing on the extra layers.
“They really like him,” you commented, your arm lightly brushing against his as you walked side by side.
“He was there from day one,” Nico said, sounding nostalgic. “He’s probably one of their favourite people in this world.”
“And he loves them just as much,” you noted. “That much was clear from the questions he asked in the initial interview.” 
Nico laughed, turning to glance at you. “Oh god, I don’t think I ever asked what he asked you.” 
“A lot of hypotheticals,” you responded. “They started off normal, like what if they both wanted an apple but there was only one left or if they wanted to go to the park on a rainy day. Then they got progressively more unrealistic.” 
Nico’s eyes were still on you. “Like what?” 
“I think there was one about how I would protect the twins if the city was taken over by vampires,” you mused.
“And how would you?” Nico questioned, his voice serious but the expression on his face was lighthearted and teasing.
“Hunt the vampires, obviously.” 
Nico let out a loud but sudden laugh. “Yeah?” 
“I’ve watched Buffy The Vampire Slayer,” you insisted, trying and failing to keep a serious face. “What more research do you need?” 
“They wouldn’t know what’s coming for them,” Nico added, lightly nudging his arm against yours and silently being pleased when you didn’t move away from the touch. 
“Don’t underestimate me, Hischier,” you grinned, your eyes gleaming. “I may not be any good at mini sticks but I have other skills you couldn’t even begin to comprehend.” 
Nico could only shake his head fondly in response. 
“HEY, LOVEBIRDS, YOU’RE THE NEW CATCHERS!” Jack called out, each hand held by one of the twins as they all giggled. 
Nico liked to believe his cheeks were pink because of the cold weather, no other reason.
By the time December came along, Nico had forgotten all about how stressed and helpless he had felt that summer when everyone bugged him about hiring a nanny for the twins. 
Thankfully, his mother had not. She tended to remind him every time they spoke on the phone, in a passing but teasing comment here or there slipped into the conversation. But she did enjoy reminding him whenever the topic of you and the twins came up.
This time was no different.
“It looks like your stubbornness paid off.” 
Nico rolled his eyes, only to feel guilty by the action a few moments later even if his mother couldn’t see him right now. “I told you I would find the perfect person for the twins.” 
“And is she? Perfect for the twins?” 
“She gets them,” Nico said like that explained it all, and it did. Because even though the past nannies he had hired were good and treated the twins well when they cared for them, there was something about you that just clicked with the twins.
You didn’t just treat them like children. They were two humans in your mind, who had their own likes and dislikes and personalities, and you just seemed to understand them almost as well as Nico did. He knew from day one that the twins would constantly be placed together, that there would be many assumptions made of the two of them being the same because they were twins. But you had never treated them as such. 
It was different to past nannies who enjoyed the job but were ultimately there for the paycheck. Sometimes, it felt like you were really there for the twins. 
It settled something inside him that Nico had no idea he wanted until he met you, until he saw how you cared for his children. 
“Good,” his mother hummed, and he could almost imagine the way she was nodding as she spoke. “So we will see her at Christmas?” 
“I—“ Nico quickly cut himself off, focusing on keeping his car from jerking into the other lane. “No? I don’t know? I can’t expect her to work on Christmas—”
“She’s a part of the family, Nico.” 
“You haven’t even met her,” Nico found himself saying, which was true. Beyond a few waves and general greetings in the back of some FaceTime calls, none of his family had met you. 
But there was a voice in the back of his head that really wanted to change that. 
“Yes, but you care for her and so do the twins. And she cares for you three too. In my eyes, she’s a part of the family.” 
His chest tightened at his mother’s words. 
“I’ll ask her,” he found himself saying before he could stop himself. “But no promises.” 
If there was one thing you could always rely on, it was the shitty winter weather in New Jersey. 
The sky felt permanently grey over the last few days, dark clouds and overcast hovering over the state like a threat of the weather soon to come. The temperatures dropped and the forecasts of snow and sleet and rain started to trickle through the radio stations as you drove to and from Nico’s place and your own apartment. 
You thought it would be a nuisance at most.
As it would have it, you would be eating your own words mere days later when the snow only got heavier during the day and you were starting to wonder when experts could officially name it a blizzard. 
“Will the plane drivers still be allowed to fly the planes?” Otto asked, sleepy and sluggish as he fought the urge to finally close his eyes the second you finished their bedtime story. 
“The pilots will still be able to fly their planes,” you assured the young boy, pushing his curls away from his face. “Don’t worry, okay? They will be here for Christmas. You know how I know that?” 
Otto blinked slowly. “How?” 
“Because Santa will make sure your family are here for Christmas,” you whispered, watching as the boy grinned up at you.
“Santa will bring them?” 
“If he must,” you nodded, slowly pushing yourself to stand up. “But only if you’re good and go to sleep like your sister.”
Otto briefly turned his head to look at Marley—who was already fast asleep, cheek pressed against her pillow and small puffs of air leaving her mouth—before nodding to you. “I will sleep. Goodnight, Honey. Forehead kiss, please.”
“Goodnight, bud,” you grinned, leaning down to press a kiss to his forehead and then Marley’s before you made your way to the door. 
You slowly shut the door behind you, knowing full well that Otto would be out like a light in a few minutes. But you didn’t want to test your luck, trying to keep yourself from making too much noise as you made your way into the living room.
Nico was already sitting on the couch, a few storage boxes sprawled around him. He looked as though he was lost in his own head, a scrapbook sat on his lap that he slowly flipped through with a fond smile on his face.
“Reminiscing?” 
His head snapped up, a light blush on his cheeks from getting caught but the smile remained on his face. “Uh, yeah,” he admitted, his voice low and soft. “Nina said she wanted to add some pages with photos from the summer so I was just digging it out.”
You raised your brows. “May I?” 
“Please,” Nico insisted, patting the spot next to him and laying the scrapbook over your lap too. “She started it the first summer I took the twins to Switzerland. I would do it myself but she is far better at this stuff than I am.”
“Is this them as newborns?” You asked, your heart melting at the photos of the twins as babies as you flipped to the start of the scrapbook. “Oh my god, they were the cutest lil’ things ever.”
“Still are,” Nico answered proudly, puffing his chest a little.
“They are,” you nodded in agreement, your fingers lightly skimming over the photos before your eyes caught one of Nico fast asleep on the ground beside the twins’ crib, a Devils branded blanket thrown over him. “Oh wow.”
Nico’s cheeks darkened but his smile seemed softer. “They were only a few weeks old and I had no idea what I was doing. I think I was running on two, maybe three hours of sleep there. Jack took that photo, said it was funny seeing all three Hischiers down for a nap.” There was a small pause before he continued. “Jack took most of these photos in the first few weeks.” 
You turned to look at him instead of the scrapbook. “Yeah?” 
“Oh yeah,” Nico nodded. “I was a total mess the first few weeks, couldn’t even begin to consider picking up my phone to capture the moment. But Jack knew I would regret it after, took it upon himself to try and capture as many early memories as he could.” 
“Nothing can really prepare you for parenthood,” you said, lightly nudging your shoulder against his. “Don’t be too hard on yourself.” 
“It’s harder to be prepared when you had no idea you were even having kids,” Nico added, but the joking tone fell flat. “Sorry, I didn’t—”
“I mean,” you started, a sheepish smile on your face. “It’s none of my business and you don’t have to say anything but—”
“But you’re curious?” Nico finished. 
You nodded. 
“It was a one night stand,” Nico admitted, his shoulders dropping a little. “She didn’t tell me anything. I didn’t even know she was pregnant. I think she thought she would be fine by herself but…things changed.” 
You didn’t say anything, letting the boy get the story out but you did rest your hand on his arm, hoping the small touch would be comforting enough.
“I think we were a few games away from finishing the season,” Nico continued. “It was clear the Devils weren’t making the playoffs and I honestly wanted nothing more than to get on a plane and fly out to Switzerland to deal with the disappointing season back home. Then, child services were getting in touch and showing up at my door with these two babies and telling me they were mine and—” 
He let out a shuddering breath.
“She left me a letter,” he murmured. “Saying she was sorry for not reaching out sooner. Saying she didn’t want any parental rights, that I had full custody. Saying that she hoped I wouldn’t judge her for wanting to keep living her life, to not let kids hold her back.” 
You squeezed his arm. 
“I was a wreck,” Nico confessed, almost sounding remorseful. “Jack came over because we were meant to drive to the rink together for practice and I just…broke down. I don’t even know what happened in those first few hours, it was all a blur to me. I didn’t know the first thing about being a dad, let alone to twins and neither did he. But he stayed and he helped, because that’s the kind of friend he is.”
You smiled softly. 
“His mother, Ellen, was actually a huge lifesaver,” Nico said, his lips twitching upwards like he was remembering a fond memory. “She was already in Jersey for a few games but Jack called her, explained everything that was happening and she helped, at least until my own parents could fly out. That summer was…a mess. That whole year was but I wouldn’t have been able to do it without any of them.”
“You have a really good team behind you, Nico,” you said, the strongest urge to speak in a whisper and keep your voice low so you wouldn’t ruin the moment. “Both on and off the ice.” 
“I do,” Nico gave you a genuine smile. “You’re a part of that team too.” 
You returned the smile. “I am.” 
“Uh,” Nico cleared his throat. “About that.”
You raised your brows in questioning. 
“If you don’t have any other plans, you’re invited here to join us for Christmas,” Nico said, choosing to leave out the fact his mother had been insisting you join in every phone call he has had with her. “I know the twins would love to have you here and…so would I.” 
“Aren’t your family flying in?” You asked, a crease forming between your brows. “I wouldn’t want to impose—”
“You’re not,” Nico insisted. “We want you there. I want you there.” 
“I’m visiting Nana in the morning but I could come after,” you said, something twisting in your stomach at the way his face brightened. 
“Yeah, perfect,” he nodded, smiling broadly. “You’ll get to experience a proper Hischier Christmas.” 
“Should I be worried?” 
“Maybe.”
You opened your mouth, a teasing reply on the tip of your tongue when the moment was broken by a deep, booming gust of wind howling and hitting against the windows of the apartment complex. It snapped the soft, whispering atmosphere as the reality of the worsening weather outside hit you.
“Fuck,” you murmured, watching as the flurry of snow rushed down. “I should probably head back before the roads get worse.”
Nico turned to look through the window, frowning. “Are you sure it’s a good idea to drive so late?”
You shrugged. “I’ll go slow.”
His frown deepened.
“It will be fine,” you tried to assure him but Nico was already shaking his head.
“Nonsense,” he said, turning back to look at you. “You can stay in the spare room. I can give you some stuff to sleep in too. That weather isn’t safe to drive in, especially this late.” 
Your instant reaction was to reject the offer but you spotted the look on his face, the genuine fear and concern written so blatantly in his expression and you found yourself nodding instead.
“If you are sure,” you said with a nod.
“I’m sure,” he nodded, his lips twitching as he stood up from the couch. “Plus, the twins will be so excited to see you in the morning.”
And he was correct. The twins were crawling into the guest bed beside you before the sun had properly risen the second they caught wind of you staying over for the night.
“Meeting the family, huh?”
“Nana,” you groaned, ignoring the happy cackle she let out as you bundled up the scarf you were wearing moments ago and threw it in her direction. “It’s not like that.”
“But it should be like that,” Nana insisted with a wistful sigh. “What is taking this man so long? Look at you!” 
“Maybe because he is professional and only sees me as the caretaker of his children,” you deadpanned. “You know, that job he hired me for?” 
“Bah!” Nana waved you off, shaking her head. “I want his eyes checked. You’re a catch, honey.” 
“You are so dramatic,” you murmured under your breath, but there was something quite fond in your voice. “Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I don’t want a relationship right now?” 
“No,” Nana replied bluntly. “Because you would never deprive your sweet grandmother of seeing her favourite grandchild finally find love before she kicks the bucket.”
“Sweet is not the word I would use,” you retorted, just managing to miss her fingers pinching your side. “Hey, that’s not very festive!”
“Yes, yes, Merry Christmas and all that,” Nana said as she leaned forward, taking your face in her hands as she pressed a kiss to your cheek. “Now, tell me your present to me is a ring that hot European boss of yours gave you.” 
You could feel your face heating up. “Nana!”
“I will also take a scarf, I’m not picky.”
If there was any doubt in your mind before (which there was not), spending Christmas with the Hischiers confirmed they were, in fact, the nicest family you had ever met. 
You had spent the last few months with Nico and the twins, knew their mannerisms and their personalities and the way they lived their lives. You had also nannied for many families before them and you knew what a draw of luck it was to score a job with a family as sweet and wholesome as them.
You just never expected the whole family to be like that. 
From the second you walked through the door, it was clear that that was just the way the Hischiers lived their lives.
Katja had you in a hug before you could even take your jacket off, squeezing you close and tight as she murmured something about how well you were taking care of her baby and her grandbabies. Rino had a glass of wine and a plate of finger foods in your hand before you could even think about your rumbling stomach. Even Nina and Luca had taken it upon themselves to take the seats beside you on the living room couch, happy to talk away like you had always been a part of the family.
It was heartwarming and overwhelming in the best way possible, but you were pretty sure that was just the Hischier effect.
“I wanna give Honey her present next!” Marley exclaimed, wiggling out of Rino’s arms as she rushed towards her father with an excited smile. “Please, Papa?” 
“Me too! Me too!” Otto called out, perking up from his spot on Nico’s lap.
“Here you both go,” Nico grinned, almost looking mischievous as he handed them both a wrapped present each. 
“Oh, for me?” You gasped as they rushed over to you, both presents extended out to you as they gripped them with their little hands. “You didn’t have to.”
“Yes, we do,” Marley said with a nod. “It’s Christmas!”
Your lips twitched upwards at their giggles as you carefully unwrapped the presents as quickly as you could, sensing their own childish impatience. Your surprise became a little more genuine and honest when you saw the gifts laid out on your lap. 
There were two separate sweaters—which were sweet and considerate in their own right, and undoubtedly chosen by Nico—but your focus was on the two framed photos underneath the sweaters. Each had been drawn by one of the twins, different versions of one of the many days you three and Nico had spent together.
“Honey?” 
You sniffled a little, looking up to find both twins standing in front of you with little frowns on their faces. “Thank you, both of you,” you said as sincerely as you could. “This is the best present I have ever gotten.”
“But you’re crying,” Otto pointed out with a frown.
“Do you not like it?” Marley asked, nervously playing with the hem of her dress. 
“No, no, I love it,” you quickly reassured the twins, carefully moving the gifts to the side as you pulled them both into a hug. “They are happy tears! Sometimes when you feel really happy, you can cry too. It’s not a bad thing.”
Otto looked up at you. “Happy tears?” 
“Happy tears,” you confirmed with a nod.
“We like happy tears?” Marley asked.
“We do,” you promised before leaning down to peck them both on the forehead. “Thank you for the presents and the happy tears.” 
Both of the twins beamed, leaning up to press their own kisses to either one of your cheeks before they turned to look at their father. 
“Papa, you’re next!”
Nico’s gaze was already on the three of you, soft and fond, before he snapped out of his own daze. He looked a little embarrassed as he reached for a box, letting Otto and Marley happily carry it back to you. “I don’t think I can compete with the twins but…Merry Christmas.”
You had barely ripped through the wrapping paper before the twins were squealing happily, their little hands helping remove the rest of the wrapping before pushing your present towards you.
“Honey has a jersey!” 
“My own jersey?” Your smile widened as you lifted the red jersey, grinning at the Devils logo and the number thirteen on the sleeves. 
“Your own lucky jersey,” Nico corrected, grinning back.
“Just like us!” Otto gasped happily. 
“Just like you,” you laughed, turning the jersey to find ‘HISCHIER’ printed across the back. You dropped the jersey to your lap as your eyes found Nico again. “Thank you, Nico.”
“And selfishly,” he started as he leaned over to hand you an envelope. “I am hoping the jersey will tempt you to accept this gift too.”
You shot him a confused look but accepted the envelope, quickly tearing it open and pulling out the contents to find two tickets. “Game day tickets?”
“Only fair that the new hockey fan gets to experience a game in person,” Nico beamed. “And there’s a second ticket for Nana too, if she wants to come.” 
“You seem so sure she will support the Devils,” you teased, swallowing the emotion that laid thick in the back of your throat at the idea of him including Nana in your gift.
“I got her a jersey too,” Nico retorted, looking far too pleased with himself. 
You could have sworn Luca muttered something like ‘ass kisser’ under his breath but you weren’t too sure. The slap on the back of the head from Katja was telling though.
“Thank you,” you repeated, softer than before. For a moment, you almost swore Nico was blushing in response.
“Merry Christmas, Honey.”
“Tell me you and Honey got caught under some mistletoe and finally admitted your feelings for each other.”
Nico let out a heavy sigh, taking a long sip of his coffee as Jack settled into the passenger seat. “Good morning to you too.” 
“So that’s a no,” Jack huffed, shaking his head. 
“Told you so,” Luke spoke up as he climbed into the backseat, for once in his life looking awake at seven in the morning. “You owe me twenty bucks.”
“Shut up,” Jack grumbled. “God, Hisch, you had one fucking job.”
Nico’s brows furrowed together. “I did?” 
“Oh my god,” Jack groaned, leaning his head back against the rest. “It’s been ages. How much longer are you going to drag this out?”
“You are saying too many words,” Nico replied bluntly before he pulled away, letting muscle memory mostly take over as he began driving towards the rink.
“This is to spite me,” Jack insisted. “I find you a nanny who is perfect for the job AND for you, and this is how you repay me?” 
“What?” Nico muttered. “Jack, I swear to god if this is the girlfriend thing again—”
“It is!” 
“—I have other things to prioritise right now,” Nico insisted. “And Honey doesn’t feel that way. Our…relationship isn’t like that.” 
Jack gave him a deadpan stare. “You’re shitting me, right? You’re just trying to wind me up, right?” 
“I’m telling Timo to pick you up tomorrow if this is how you are going to act,” Nico muttered as he reached for his coffee cup again.
“I would wake up for morning skates way easier if I got this entertainment every time,” Luke commented from the backseat, a shit-eating grin on his face. 
“Shut up, Luke,” they both replied at the same time.
“You’re joking!” 
“I’m not!” 
“Oh my god,” you laughed, shaking your head as you turned to look at the boy in utter disbelief. “Nico, how could you—”
“I don’t know!” Nico groaned, even if he was smiling. “I just kinda…forgot English? And then I panicked and just found myself nodding before I even realised what I was agreeing to.” 
It was a cold January day when the four of you found yourselves in the park once again. The twins seemed to have more energy than usual the second they woke up that morning. They were bouncing off the walls, barely able to sit still during breakfast before they were begging to get out of the house. And after a less than satisfactory start to the season in the new year, Nico was also eager to get out and away from anything hockey related and have a day out at the park.
“So, how was it?” You questioned, nudging your shoulder against his.
“Smelly,” Nico confessed with his nose scrunched up. “I mean, the equipment team loved me for the rest of my time there but…I would not recommend volunteering to clean hockey gear after a long tournament.” 
“Gross,” you agreed.
“It prepared me pretty nicely for changing nappies though,” Nico admitted with a laugh. “I guess nothing can be worse than a hockey locker room.”
“Surely you’re used to it by now,” you pointed out.
“Yeah but doesn’t mean a break every once in a while isn’t nice,” Nico retorted, his eyes wandering over to where Otto and Marley were currently attempting to climb up the slide. “February can’t come soon enough.” 
You looked surprised by his words. “You get a break in February?” 
“All Stars,” Nico explained with a nod. “A few people get picked but everyone else gets a free week off to go somewhere hot and relaxing before the runup to playoffs.” 
You lightly elbowed him. “Come on, Captain, surely you were picked.” 
His cheeks burned a little but he shook his head. “Nope, I’m free this year.” 
“Big plans?” You questioned. 
“I wanted to do something for the twins' birthday,” he confessed. “Obviously, we will celebrate on the actual day but there’s going to be so much around hockey and playoffs and I just…I want them to have a proper celebration, even if it’s a little early and even if we do another one in Switzerland with my family.”
Your face softened. “That would be nice.” 
“So,” Nico wiggled his brows. “Got any ideas where we could go?” 
You tilted your head. “We?” 
“What? You thought it was just going to be me and the twins?” Nico grinned, shaking his head and nudging you back with his shoulder. “We are a team now, Honey. The four of us.”
His words made butterflies erupt in your stomach but you quickly pushed that feeling away, focusing on the boy beside you on the bench instead. 
“Well, in that case, I think Mexico is calling our name.” 
Nico only beamed in response. “I was thinking the same.”
“You know, your grandfather never took me to Mexico.”
You tore your eyes away from the hand of cards you were dealt, instead glancing at Nana who sat on the opposite side of the table with a certain look on her face. You couldn’t quite work out whether or not it meant trouble.
“He isn’t taking me to Mexico for the hell of it,” you reminded your grandmother, taking another card from the deck with a frown. “I’m just technically doing my job internationally.” 
Nana shot you a look over her cards. “You were meant to be the smart grandchild.”
You frowned. “Hey, rude.”
“Honey, one day it will hit you and I just pray that day happens in my lifetime,” Nana said, sounding wistful as she glanced down at her cards again. “Got any two’s?” 
“No, go fish,” you murmured before giving her a pensive look. “You really think it means something that he is taking me to Mexico with the twins for a holiday?” 
“Is he paying for your ticket?” 
“Yes,” you grumbled. “I insisted but—”
“Then, it means something,” Nana shrugged like it was obvious. “And if you share a hotel room, you owe me lunch at that nice deli.” 
Your cheeks burned. “Nana!” 
“Don’t be such a prude,” she waved you off. “Now, hurry up before this game bites into my afternoon nap. I’m already feeling sleepy.” 
You rolled your eyes before you asked for any three’s, even if your mind was preoccupied with three other people at that moment.
“You did well at All Stars, that second goal was a beauty.” 
“You’re killing me here.” 
Nico frowned. “Most people say thank you after a compliment.”
There was a buzz in the locker room that wasn’t there before the break. It was like reality was starting to sink in, the final run of regular season games ahead before playoffs had people itching to get back on the ice and prove themselves. The Devils have had quite a hot and cold season but Nico believes in his group, he knows they want this just as much as he does. 
Everyone was walking into the locker room with a kick of motivation to show the other teams in the league just what damage they could do on the ice.
Everyone minus Jack who seemed annoyed at Nico, despite only being in his presence for thirty seconds. 
“Dude,” Jack shot him a look. “Spill about the family holiday! Did you tell her? Did you make a move? Do I need to plan a wedding?” 
“I–” Nico felt his heart stutter a little. “What? Jack, no, nothing happened.” 
Jack blinked. “What?” 
Nico paused. “What do you mean, what?” 
“Nico,” Jack took a deep breath, his eyes fluttering shut as the rest of the locker room fell silent. “Let me get this straight. You go on vacation to Mexico with your kids and the girl who you definitely have feelings for despite what you tell us and…you do nothing?”
“Yes?” 
“This is torture,” Jack muttered in utter disbelief, shaking his head. “You are beyond help.” 
“Jack—” 
“Fucking Mexico and you don’t make a move?” 
“Well—” 
“I’m overruling your captain title,” Jack interrupted, shaking his head. “You’re doing bag skates today.”
Nico blinked. “You can’t do that.” 
“Well, I just did and Sheldon would agree with me,” Jack said in a know-it-all voice before he turned on his heel to head back to his stall.
Theatrics aside, Nico did spend the rest of the practice silently wondering if Jack had a point. He was too tired to keep lying to himself, at least. He knew whatever he felt for you was beyond platonic and professional, but that didn’t change the fact he was sure those feelings weren’t returned.
The two of you had a good thing going and Nico was not about to ruin that over the fact his heart sped up every time he thought about you.
It was a fleeting crush, he told himself. A fleeting crush on someone who was intertwined with his life and his kids’ life. It was just misplaced gratitude that he was reading into. That was all. He was sure of it.
“Honey?” 
You turned away from the tv, glancing down to your lap to find Otto’s big eyes already staring up at you. “Yes?” 
“You are going to stay with us, right?” Otto asked, his words completely catching you off guard and leaving your chest uncomfortably tight. Suddenly, the game was the last thing on your mind. 
“What do you mean?” You asked, your brows furrowing as you tried to decipher his words. 
Otto shrugged, suddenly looking down at his own hands rather than you. 
You turned to find Marley looking just as downcast and it instantly made the hair on the back of your neck turn up. You reached over for the remote, neither of the twins awfully bothered when you muted the commentary before your full focus was on them. 
“Is there something you want to tell me?” You asked, urging yourself to remain calm and cautious, to not instantly freak out to the worst case scenario. 
“All our friends leave,” Otto eventually muttered out, a frown on his face that made him look so much like Nico in those postgame interviews you had watched. “Papa says they will stay if we like them but then they go.” He paused before he lifted his head back to look at you. “I don’t want you to go, Honey.” 
And if that wasn’t heartbreaking, you didn’t know what was. 
Nico had told you briefly about some of the past nannies he had hired for the twins. The twins had liked a majority of them, had kept asking questions about where they had gone and if they were coming back. 
And you knew it was hard. It was hard to explain things to kids who couldn’t fully comprehend what was happening, who couldn’t understand their father’s decision to fire the previous nannies. 
But it also meant that their young minds were left to fill the blanks. 
“Oh, baby,” you shook your head, trying your best to give them both the most reassuring smile you could. “That has nothing to do with the two of you, I promise. You two are the best people ever. Your other friends had to leave for another reason—big adult things.”
Marley nuzzled herself closer to you. “Are you going to leave for big adult stuff?” 
Your hand was instantly smoothing the curls away from her face, watching her let out a happy sigh as your nails lightly scratched along her scalp. “No, baby, of course not. Not unless you want me to go.”
Otto’s grip on you tightened. “We don’t want you to go.”
“Then I won’t,” you promised, even if that was something you knew better to not promise young children who took things far too literally and personally.
“Good,” Marley murmured, even if half of her face was squished against the jersey you were currently wearing for the game.
You glanced back down when you heard a few sniffles, frowning when you saw Otto scrubbing his little hands against his watery eyes. “Otto, baby, are you okay?” 
He nodded, turning his head to look up at you. “Just happy you are staying.”
“Happy tears!” Marley said with a smile, like she was proud of herself for remembering it.
“You promise they are happy tears?” You asked, your chest tightening at the thought of the young boy being genuinely upset until he quickly nodded his head and held out his pinky to you.
“Pinky promise, Honey.” 
You hooked your pinky around his. “You know you can tell me if you are upset, okay?” 
“We know,” Otto nodded, settling his head back down on your lap with his attention on the game once again. “We tell you or Papa and you will help.”
Your hand instantly moved to tickle his back, smiling a little at the sigh he let out when you did so. Nico had told you the tip a few weeks ago but it was endearing to see how much he loved it. 
“Yeah, we will always help you both. Pinky promise.”
For what it was worth, Nico scored less than two minutes later and the twins’ initial moods were completely overshadowed by the excitement and cheering in their celebration around the living room.
“Oh, spit it out already!”
In all honesty, Nana had lasted a lot longer than you anticipated. It was clear from the moment you walked through the door of the care home that you were distracted. She had enough respect to not call you out on it instantly, letting you play the part of a doting granddaughter as you made two cups of tea and settled on the couch in the lounge of the care home.
However, three abysmal games of checkers later, she had reached her limit. 
“Nana, I’m fine.” 
“And I was born last Tuesday if I believed that,” Nana scoffed, having little to no patience left as she swiped the pawns off the board and quickly ended the attempted fourth game. “There. Game over. Now talk.”
You let out a sigh as you slumped back in your seat. “It’s nothing really,” you started before noticing Nana was opening her mouth—most likely to complain—and quickly continued. “Just something the twins said.” 
Nana paused, her voice a little softer as she spoke this time. “What happened?” 
“I think I’m the longest nanny they have ever had around and they just have this fear I am going to leave. And they were fine once I assured them I was staying, they never brought it up again so there is nothing to worry about,” you began to ramble, the memory replaying in your head over the last few days. “I guess it just made me realise…” 
“That you really care about these kids?” Nana finished for you.
You smiled a little. “Yeah, I do.”
“And that you care for their father too and it’s starting to hit you that there is a possibility that there will be a day that they may not need you anymore and it’s scaring you because of how fond you have grown of the family?” Nana continued. 
You blinked. 
“Too on the nose?” She had the audacity of asking with an innocent smile.
“Nana, what the f—” You quickly cut yourself, clearing your throat and, at least, having the decency of looking sheepish. “What the hell are you on about?” 
“Honey, please,” Nana waved you off. “I have seen you nanny for many families and kids and never once have you walked through that door and gushed about them the way that you do with the Hischiers.” 
You could feel your face heating up. “They are a good family! I don’t…it’s not like that.”
“Would you want it to be like that?” Nana asked.
You swallowed the lump in the back of your throat. “It doesn’t matter. I’m just the nanny. I shouldn’t read into things that are never going to happen.” 
“That didn’t answer my question,” Nana pointed out. “If you’re not ready to admit it, then that’s fine. But it doesn’t change the fact that you have fallen in love with the family over the last few months and that they love you back.” 
You stayed silent.
“You have spent the last few years taking care of me and a dozen other families,” Nana said, her tone more gentle as she reached over to take your hand in hers. “I have seen you work yourself to the bone and put others’ needs before your own without a second thought. I have seen you put other families ahead of yourself. All I want for you is to have that family that cares back, that loves you back, that puts you first too.” 
“I have you,” you rasped, blinking away the tears lining your lash line. 
“And you could have them too,” Nana retorted softly. “Honey, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realise those kids love you back. And that their father does too.” 
“You’ve never met Nico,” you tried to argue but Nana was having none of it.
“I know more than enough from the stories you tell me and the way he treats you,” Nana said, squeezing your hand as she spoke. “I am not saying you have to jump in straight away or ring the wedding bells. But I can see that you are happy with them and I think you could be even happier if you let yourself.” 
“Is it not better to appreciate what you have instead of losing it all?” You questioned, lips pressed together in a tight smile.
“Maybe,” Nana answered. “But then you’ll spend the rest of your life wondering how different things could have been if you had just taken that step out of your comfort zone. You’ll never know the answer if you never ask the question.”
You didn’t have a reply for her.
“I just want what is best for you,” Nana finished off with a watery smile of her own. “And I think they really could be the answer to that question, at least.”
Nana’s words lingered in the back of your mind.
They played on a loop as the days turned into weeks and time seemed to pass far faster than you could comprehend. Before you knew it, the calendar was showing March and you were beginning to see the behind the scenes reality of what pressures Nico was under with captaining a team desperately trying to cling onto a playoff spot as the end of the season neared. 
It was fucking awful, to put it lightly, and you didn’t really understand how he was managed to be the best captain he could on the ice, just to come back home and play the role of a father so well. But you could only admire it and admire him from a distance. 
However, it felt like Nana’s words planted a seed in your head, letting the thought fester and grow despite how desperately you had tried to weed it out over the last few months. It had a mind of its own and it felt like everywhere you looked, you were seeing the world that Nana saw for you with the Hischiers. 
You saw that future in the mornings when Nico left for practice, making sure to have a quick breakfast with you and the twins before he left the apartment after giving each one of you a kiss on the forehead (something the twins demanded he extend to you too because it was only fair in their eyes). And Nico did it happily every single morning. 
You saw that future in the nights where the twins were exhausted, passed out on the couch in their own jerseys whilst you kept your eyes glued to the screen, engrossed in the result of a sport you didn’t care about over a year ago.
You saw that future in the way the twins babbled about Switzerland and how excited they were to go back and all the things they wanted to show you. You didn’t even know what the plan was for the offseason, when Nico would return back to Switzerland and have all his family there to help him out. You were too scared to ask.
You saw that future in the way that your life became so intertwined in theirs. They were always on your mind, even during your off days. You would be eating lunch with a friend and think about how Marley would hate the dish because the carrots were too big. You would throw on a playlist whilst cleaning your apartment and smile when a random Swiss song would start playing because Otto insisted it was better (which also meant that Nico was teaching him to say as much). You would be having tea with Nana and giggle a little to yourself at the chocolates she would offer because you knew chocolate snob Nico would not approve. 
You saw that future in so many different ways and it made it a little hard to breathe the more you realised that you wanted it. You wanted it so fucking bad but it was March Madness and the twins’ birthday was coming up and there were a million other things that took priority over your lives than the growing feelings you had for this little family. 
So, you bottled it up and pretended like you couldn’t hear Nana’s disappointed sigh in the back of your mind.
Nico had been jumpy since the start of the roadie.
Usually by this point of the year, the road trips were more of a nuisance and the boys were done with them. Everyone was bone tired, exhausted and injured in some capacity, pushing their bodies to unreal limits with a sense of urgency to just get on with playoffs. They were done with the regular season, they were done playing games that didn’t matter in the lead up to the Cup. They were getting a taste of a possible Cup run and they were eager to start it. 
And Nico got that. He was usually one of them, letting the adrenaline and excitement for playoffs motivate him through the last stretch of regular season games. The travel days would usually be the time that he let himself catch as much sleep as he could whilst being pressed up against the bus window or sprawled out on a row of plane seats.
But he had been angsty since the first flight out, constantly checking his phone for updates that weren’t coming through. He was quiet and lost in his own head more often than not and it was concerning to the team. It took Jonas cornering him in the hotel lobby before he could run off for him to confess.
“The twins are sick,” he said with his lips turned down in a frown. “It’s nasty and they are barely sleeping and I just feel guilty for leaving Honey to deal with it alone.”
The sniffling had started a few days ago but the cold really hit last night. Neither one of them were settling down for bed, just whining and crying and fussing. Otto was complaining he was too hot. Marley was complaining she was too cold. One of them puked in the living room and the other in the bathtub after a heavy dinner that didn’t settle well in their sensitive stomachs. 
It was carnage and he had to leave you completely alone with it. 
You had reassured him multiple times that you would be fine, that you had dealt with multiple sick kids at once and this would be no different. But he couldn’t help but let the guilt eat him alive over the next few days. 
He remembered what it was like trying to deal with the twins when they were sick at the same time and it was far from enjoyable. But even then, he had his mother or someone else nearby to help. He was never taking care of them completely alone for days on end like you were. 
Nico knew he should have been more involved in the team bonding and dinners, that he should be hyping his boys up for the playoffs but he spent more time staring at his phone like he wanted to be prepared in case you messaged or called. Not that he would have been much help on the other side of the country.
He was practically itching out of his skin to get back home to you and the twins. The plane ride was torture, the minutes passing like hours and his body far too wired to even attempt to sleep (much to Jack’s dismay since he tended to use Nico as a pillow). He was practically sprinting off the plane the second they landed, making a mental note to make it up to his teammates somehow before playoffs started after they had to deal with his irritated mood for the last few days. 
His body was moving on muscle memory as he drove back to the apartment, urging himself to stay under the speed limit and take his time. He knew you were home. He knew the twins were home. Him getting home in two minutes or twenty wouldn’t change that. 
Nico was still running on pure adrenaline by the time he reached the front door, still panting from taking the stairs over the elevator as he pushed it open and quickly made his way inside. His bags were abandoned by the door and he opened his mouth to call out to the three of you when he froze the second he was in view of the living room.
He never really understood what people meant when they said they saw something so beautiful that they stopped in their tracks. Or at least, he never really understood until now. And he was aware that, to anyone else, there was nothing amazing or jaw dropping about the sight in front of him. But it meant everything to Nico. 
Because it was late by the time they landed in New Jersey and he had accepted the possibility that everyone would be asleep. But here you were, sitting on his couch, waiting for him even though he could see the bags under your eyes and the way you were already starting to nod off. Because he knew the sweatpants and hoodie weren’t anything groundbreaking, but it was a Devils hoodie with his number on it and some old sweats of yours that had a mysterious stain on it (probably from one of the twins) but you wanted to wait for him instead of heading straight for a shower and your bed.
Because here you were, sitting on his couch after you had probably experienced the longest few days of your life taking care of two sick toddlers (his two sick toddlers), still giving him a sleepy smile as soon as he walked through the door like you were genuinely happy to see him, and he just couldn’t help but think he had never met or seen someone as beautiful as you—both inside and out. 
“Are you okay?” You asked when he didn’t say anything, when he continued to stand in the middle of the room, looking at you with an expression you couldn’t quite read. 
And, if Nico was logical and not sleep deprived, there was probably a part of him that would have remembered that it was late and that you were both tired and his emotional epiphanies could wait until the morning. 
But Nico was not logical and he was very sleep deprived and he had spent the better part of the last few months fighting his team and himself over his feelings for you, and he was far too fucking tired to keep fighting them now.
Because he was staring at you from across the room and felt such a rush of warmth and relief and comfort knowing that he had you by his side and he couldn’t quite keep it in anymore.
“I think you look beautiful,” he blurted out without any further hesitation. 
You paused, staring at him for a few moments as you processed his words before glancing down at yourself. “Uh, thanks?” You managed to mutter out through an awkward laugh. “Maybe not as much right now but—” 
“I mean right now,” he said, his voice genuine and sincere and serious because apparently even sleep deprived Nico understood the importance of honesty. “And always. But especially now. And I feel very lucky that I get to come back home to you.” 
Your eyes widened and your mouth was moving but no words were coming out. 
“And you don’t have to say anything,” he continued because he was physically unable to stop himself, even taking a few steps closer to you as he did. “But you deserve to know.” 
“You can’t say that,” you whispered, shaking your head at him.
His brows furrowed together. “Why not?” 
“You can’t say stuff like that when you don’t mean it like—” But you cut yourself off, swallowing harshly as your gaze dropped down to your hands.
“Mean it like what?” Nico asked, his body still moving until he was kneeling on the ground in front of you, his hands on your knees as he ducked his head to catch your eye again. 
“Nico,” you said his name so softly that it made his stomach twist. 
“I meant what I said,” Nico said, his hands squeezing your knees as he spoke. “You look beautiful right now and every other day. I think it all the time and you deserve to hear it more. I think you are one of the best people I have ever met in my life.”
You let out a shuddering breath. 
“And I think I’m reading this right,” his voice dropped to a whisper, something cautious and vulnerable written across his face. “And stop me if I’m not because the last thing I want is to make you feel uncomfortable or—”
You grabbed his face and kissed him before you could second guess yourself. 
Despite the fact it wasn’t very long, Nico sunk into the kiss. He let himself lean into the touch, to savour the feeling of your hands cupping his face and your lips on his. He let himself enjoy the way your nose nudged against his as you pulled away, as you gave yourself enough space to rest your forehead against his.
“You’re not reading it wrong,” you assured him with a small, almost secretive smile. “But I didn’t think you would feel the same, especially with the twins—”
“Don’t worry about that just yet,” he murmured, letting his eyes fall shut as he enjoyed just how close you were to him. “They don’t have to know right away, we can take things slow. But I…I want to do this. I want to give us a try.”
You tried to bite back the grin threatening to take over your face. “Yeah?” 
“Yeah,” Nico grinned. “I want to see where this goes.”
“And if it goes wrong?” You dared yourself to ask.
But Nico didn’t seem particularly worried, twisting his hand so he could intertwine it with your own. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Honey, but we make a pretty good team. Best of the league. No doubts about us.”
You huffed out a laugh. “Does that make me your A?” 
Nico snorted. “No way. We are co-captains. Equals.”
“Co-captains,” you agreed, nodding a little. 
And there was still a lot more that needed to be discussed. Both of you knew that. But it was late and you were both tired and there was no rush to figure everything out just yet. 
Becoming a father was one of the best things that happened to Nico Hischier. Meeting you was second. And maybe this year, he would add hoisting the Cup with his team as the third but only time would tell.
And, in the meantime, Nico was pretty damn happy with you and Otto and Marley—his perfect little family of four.
.
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tired-fandom-ndn · 11 months ago
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Another PSA about this because I hate myself but with the return of Hazbin Hotel, I feel like it needs to be said again:
Alastor is not a w-ndigo.
No, I do not care if he is ever referred to that way in canon. He is not a w-ndigo.
W-ndigoag are sacred Anishinaabe spirits representing greed, cruelty, and desperation. They are often associated with cannibalism, but that's because they're the embodiments of the hunger and desperation that comes with a deep northern winter. Many modern Anishinaabe artists associate them with things like pollution and environmental destruction instead. Reducing them down to cannibalism ignores everything else about them.
Since they're winter spirits (again, DEEP NORTHERN WINTERS), it makes no sense for Alastor, who is still from Louisiana as far as I'm aware, to be one.
Also he's not Anishinaabe. Please leave our cultures alone, thanks. If you want to headcanon him as Anishinaabe, have fun, but leave our sacred spirits out of it.
W-ndigoag are not deer.
W-NDIGOAG ARE NOT DEER.
Repeat it with me, folks: W-ndigoag. Are. Not. Deer.
The deer association was completely made up by people turning our cultures into their profits; it has absolutely no basis in either traditional or modern Anishinaabe stories. W-ndigoag, in cultural stories, are either emaciated humans or massive ice humanoids with the person frozen inside of them. They're not deer.
Alastor can just be a cannibalistic deer demon. That's okay. Hell, real deer have been recorded eating meat and even scavenging on human remains. You don't have to appropriate from Native cultures to make him a freaky deer.
Please don't try to argue with me about this, I am so tired and I will start crying.
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horse-girl-anthy · 4 months ago
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Revolutionary Girl Utena: Gender in Context
beneath the cut, I discuss the RGU's portrayal of gender in the context of 1990s Japan.
in Ikuhara's interview with Mari Kotani, he stated that in traditional Japanese society, "prince" meant "patriarch." the same is true in Western societies--there was a time when a prince would be an heir to a royal line. by 1997, this meaning had died out of large parts of the world. even the association between princes and traditional masculinity was fading. Saionji, the weakest, most pathetic man in the show, is a parody of historical Japanese masculinity, with his kendo and his blatantly regressive beliefs about women.
in RGU, prince may still mean patriarch, but in a far more subtle fashion. Ikuhara and Kotani discussed the changing expectations for men in the latter half of the 20th century--it became gauche to fight over a woman with one's brawn, so instead, power struggles were played out in the arena of looks and sex appeal. one can see this reflected in the character Akio, whose power as a prince arises from his ability to turn "easy sensual pleasure based on dependency" "into a selling point with which to control people."
Akio has his moments of showboating masculinity, but when preying on Utena, he operates by making himself seem non-threatening and soft.
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not only that, but he purports to want to allow students to express their individuality and thus approves of Utena's masculine form of dress. this is a front--by the end of the show, he's telling Utena that girls shouldn't wield swords. thus, through Akio's character, the show argues that traditionalist patriarchy in Japan isn't gone, but instead has only been papered over with false progressivism.
with all that said, there seems to be more to the character. he's taken the family name of his fiance, Kanae, and whatever material power he has in the school is dependent upon her family. in Japanese society, this is considered a humiliating position to be in, something that only a shameless man would do. the show never gives the audience any insight into how Akio feels about this--is he unbothered entirely, or are his actions against the Ohtori family an expression of his repressed anger? does he harm the children under his care to compensate for his humiliation?
this aspect of Akio's character may seem irrelevant in light of the larger, immaterial social forces at work in the show. however, I would argue that it was included for a reason. Akio, despite his status as ultimate patriarch of Ohtori, is in fact a highly emasculated character, to the point where lead writer Enokido even said that he is driven by an infantile mother complex.
to explain why Akio was portrayed this way, we have to discuss Japanese history. the nation suffered a major defeat in WWII and was forced to accept whatever terms the United States laid out for it. for an examination of how the Japanese have never truly processed those events and have plunged into modernity with reckless abandon, I recommend Satoshi Kon's Paranoia Agent. to sum it up briefly, in a very short period, the nation regained its economic footing, and by the 1980s had the largest gross national product in the world. this economic boom may have allowed Japan to maintain a sense of sovereignty, dignity, and power, but it was inherently fragile.
the infamous "bubble economy" lasted from 1986 to 1991. during this time, anything seemed possible; financial struggles appeared to be a thing of the past, and capitalist excess reached new heights. the ghosts of this period can be felt across Japanese media; for instance, think of the final shot of Grave of the Fireflies (1998), where the two dead children look down on Kobe, glowing an eerie green to imply its impermanence. the abandoned theme park from Spirited Away (2001) is explicitly referred to as a leftover from the previous century, when many attractions were built and then tossed aside in a few short years.
the bubble popped in 1992, leaving an entire generation feeling cheated. the bright futures they'd been promised, which had actually materialized for their parents and older siblings, had been lost to them overnight. economic crises are often accompanied by gender panics. to quote from Masculinities in Japan, "The recession brought with itself worsening employment conditions, undermining the system of lifelong employment and men’s status of breadwinners in general. The unemployment rate was rising, and although it never reached crisis levels, men could no longer feel safe in their salaryman status. Their situation was further complicated by the rising number of (married) women entering the workforce."
with this in mind, Akio's character can be taken as a representation of masculinity in crisis in 90s Japan. he's forced to rely on women for his position in life and has failed to save his only relative, Anthy. he tries to escape his misery through hedonism, perhaps an allegorical representation of how men tried to maintain their old standard of living after the economic bubble burst.
but of course, Akio is not the main character of RGU--the story is about girls. mangaka Yamada Reiji discussed the series in the context of the 90s, stating the following:
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while I opened this essay by discussing the prince, the same points could be made about the princess. despite the increasing irrelevance of royalty, princess is still an important concept. how does it relate to the socioeconomic landscape of the 90s?
in Yamada's view, RGU is full of relics of the 80s; for instance, the figure of the ojou-sama, an entitled young woman who never lifts a finger for herself. during the economic bubble, it was increasingly common for women to be entirely taken care of by the men in their lives. Yamada names Nanami as a clear ojou-sama type character: she weaponizes her femininity, demanding to be rescued, doted on, and served.
however, by 1997, the ojou-sama could no longer expect to get what she wanted. from the 80s to the 90s, the percentage of women in the workforce increased around 15%; it was no longer viable for most women to be "kept" by their families. as the men experienced the humiliation of not being able to provide for their wives and children, women were undergoing a disillusionment of their own.
Yamada blames Disney for creating the ideological structure which led women astray. obviously, the company is known for its films about princes rescuing princesses. in Yamada's recounting, during the 80s, the company was infiltrating Japan through its theme parks as well; across the country, Disneylands were opening up, and people were buying into the escapism the corporation offered. Japan, as America, became a country of eternal children. its people were waiting for a prince to appear and save them.
but fairy tales can't stave off reality forever. Yamada claims that RGU embodies the rage of young women who woke up one day and realized that they had been raised on a lie. this anger pervades the work from beginning to end.
though RGU was created in a particular social context, its lessons can be extrapolated to any time and place. as the first ending tells us:
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I hope this essay helped provide more context for the series. thanks for reading!
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the-aviary-system · 1 year ago
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Mood. We've had to stop playing games like this because we'd get unhealthily addicted to "number go up"
Like we'd get a withdrawal like effect, we'd get anxious about missing out on potential number going up if we didn't have whatever idle game we were obsessing over running in the background of our computer 24/7. Doing schoolwork? Keep it in the background and tab in like every 5 minutes to check in on it and buy upgrades. Planning D&D? Same thing.
Other games that use the "number go up" formula often got greedy with their players and kept trying to exploit their addiction to make them spend money, they made it more and more grindy until it was impossible for free-to-play people like us to keep up. (We didn't have a job, so no consistent money, so that's a reason why we were FTP. I dunno if we would've fallen into the trap of spending tons of money on games like these if we had a consistent income)
After getting disillusioned with our latest "number go up" simulator, I decided to try cookie clicker because I heard it wasn't pay to win. Yeah, I used an autoclicker too. And CC was pretty neat and all, it wasn't exploitative, which I appreciate- it was a grindy game in its purest state, grinding for the sake of grinding, gaining numbers for the hell of it, instead of trying to make money off of players- but since it wasn't actively trying to exploit us with FOMO it let us stop and think, and we realized we don't even enjoy these kinds of games that have taken up hours and hours of our lives.
So we made a rule for ourselves. No more of these games. From now on, we only play games if we're actually enjoying them, not just playing it out of obligation to make the number go higher. And it was really hard to stop playing since we got that same kind of withdrawal effect, the little itch in the back of the head that "I could be more productive right now, if I just had one of those games open in the background while I write I would be more productive" but we had to just fight that.
Anyway, that's not to say nobody should play these games. I'm not writing this to shame anyone for playing them, I'm not trying to sound preachy and hope that it doesn't come off that way- this comic just reminded me of our experience with these types of games and I felt like talking about it since we were addicted to these kinds of games for a good while. Some people will definitely be able to handle the addicting nature of these games better than we can. Some people genuinely enjoy the grind because it lets them just turn off their brain for a little while or not have to focus too much on something. Just be mindful to not let it become an addiction, is all.
So yeah that's the story of how we had an addiction to really grindy idle games
-Emyr (he/it)
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#video game addiction#game addiction#emyr post#we used to play idle champions of the forgotten realms an unhealthy amount since we really like D&D#to be fair that game taught us about a lot of important D&D figures we otherwise wouldn't recognize so we're grateful for that#Like Jarlaxle. we wouldn't have known who the hell he was while prepping our out of the abyss campaign without that game having him#and that game gave us an idea for his personality which will be really useful for playing him as an npc#and it also made him grow on us#idk how accurate the game's personality was of him but still we started out indifferent and ended up liking him#as much as we'd like to our adhd prevents us from reading the books with the big famous characters like him and drizzt and bruenor#so we would've had very little exposure to characters like these otherwise#maybe we should listen to audiobooks more. but i digress#they ended up introducing a battle pass thingy and we dipped#because the entire point of season pass battle pass whatever they're called is to exploit FOMO to get you to pay money and we have no money#So we got disillusioned and moved onto the next game#We also played creatures of sonaria on roblox for a very long time#it's not really an idle game in the traditional sense it's supposed to be a creature survival game#honestly the creature designs are awesome and the flight mechanics in that game really feels satisfying to use#like there's flapping and gliding and soaring and wind currents and you have to manage your stamina and aiming downwards makes you faster#really pleasing for me since i'm otherkin#most games just make flight like creative mode minecraft and it's boring#unfortunately it has a gacha system for getting new creatures and the only reliable way to get currency is to afk and check in now and then#so you don't get kicked for afk or die of hunger or thirst#the intention is that you get currency for playing the game more but there's nothing to do as long as you keep your creature fed and watere#the missions system helped this problem a little bit but not a huge amount in our experience#so that's why it becomes afk hell unless you want to hunt other players for sport but killing for fun is generally frowned on by many#since most players are just trying to afk for money since there's nothing else to do#so if you kill them it's really inconvenient for their grind but it's also the only form of entertainment unless a seasonal event is on#and if the seasonal event is on then you feel rushed to grind for event currency to get the cool new creatures#oh today i learned there's a maximum tag cap oops
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fairsweetlonging · 2 months ago
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new idea: shen yuan transmigrates into a pidw version with abo dynamics, but he doesn't know about it.
he knows what abo is, but it's so far removed from his expectations that it simply doesn't cross his mind at all. with that, cang qiong is a respectable, upstanding sect, so there is no growling, claiming, scent pushing or primal instinct stuff going on. people also don't mention it, as it's simply not relevant most of the time, and is considered rude to discuss unprompted.
shen qingqiu, of course, is an omega (the characters who make the best omegas are the ones who would hate it the most), but he has suppressed it with his qi for most of his life because he doesn't want to be seen as weak. the other peak lords assume he's a beta.
now, i'm not a traditional abo dynamic fan, but, there is something very appealing to me about the nesting and scenting aspect of it.
it starts out slow and painfully oblivious, with shen yuan assuming cultivators must have a really good sense of smell, and it's simply book logic that every character seems to have a signature scent. all those romance novels always mention characters smelling of pine and flowers and scotch and leather, so this isn't a foreign concept. liu qingge, for instance, is the bai zhan war god, girls fall for him left and right, it's only natural he smells of musk and deep woodsy notes, like the earth after it rains. right?
besides that, shen yuan has always been a homebody who loves his creature comforts, so him getting extra blankets and pillows and soft fabrics for his bed to curl up in isn't odd at all. or him collecting soft pretty things. shen qingqiu already has fans and night pearls and hair ribbons and silky clothes, so nothing changes.
then without-a-cure hits.
the poison breaks down the suppressors that the original shen qingqiu put in place, and his body starts restoring the balance. this worsens the cravings, and sets off his omega instincts.
he gathers more blankets, but it doesn't fill the need, like there's something missing. then liu qingge forgets his outer robe in his house after a meridian cleansing to deal with an emergency, and that robe ends up in his bed. he tries to reason it's a comfort thing—he wore his dad's sweater when he was young and had nightmares, and liu qingge does smell very nice, so is it really that strange that he holds it at night and presses his face against the collar where the scent is the strongest to soothe himself?
his own scent starts to develop as well, much stronger than the mild, watery green tea flavor from before, and people notice.
thing is, though, that there are many formalities and rules of conduct around omegas, one of which is not to bring up their status in any improper or unbidden way. so even though the alpha lords now notice a very distinct omega scent coming off their shixiong, they can't mention it out of societal pressure. so, they don't.
shen yuan still doesn't notice a thing.
the first time liu qingge smells it is during their bi-weekly cleansing session, when shen qingqiu leans in and liu qingge gets a mouthful of green tea, bamboo and honeyed jasmine, soft and sweet and pleased and so very content it sets off his alpha brain and he has to rein himself in before he starts releasing his own pheromones like some inexperienced teenager—
he's only just grown used to their amity and their habit of sharing tea and cakes after the cleansing, but now shen qingqiu is sitting there smiling at him and smelling like—like liu qingge is spoiling him and, making him feel safe...
he doesn't bring it up, downs his tea, and leaves.
meanwhile shen qingqiu keeps happily nesting away, filling his bed with all kinds of soft fabrics, some clothes of other people that he's trying really hard not to think about. everything is going well, binghe just turned sixteen and the girls are calling him an 'alpha', so his little bun is growing well into his protagonist charms! yue qingyuan comes by more often, acting a little strange but shen qingqiu is used to that by now. he looks very bashful offering him a ribbon of his, a pretty silver one that smells of incense and ozone, and shen qingqiu happily accepts it.
one time binghe comes back bruised and scuffed from a fight with bai zhan disciples, and shen qingqiu tsks at the strange smells on him, do those brutes ever bathe?? he rubs his hands over binghe's sleeves to try and get some of it off, and his poor bun must still be in shock because he stares wide-eyed at his shizun. he must also be getting forgetful because shen qingqiu finds that same robe still unwashed a week later in binghe's bedroom.
he also loves it when people brush or play with his hair, it's his favorite part of the evening when binghe helps him take down his hair for the night. the combs feel so nice on his scalp, if he could purr he would! (binghe's heart sobs quietly behind him, in complete disbelief his master is purring at him).
his icy, lofty demeanor has all but shattered, because now every time he tries to act aloof, like when yue qingyuan gives him a present or liu qingge shows up on his doorstep, his sweet, pleased scent betrays him.
the opposite is true, as well, when without-a-cure flares up and he's in pain and his scent goes sour and distressed, even when he's waving everyone off saying he's fine. the entire house smells of burnt tea leaves and ash after a nightmare, and shen qingqiu is very confused when liu qingge comes to pick him up for a meeting but then refuses to leave.
anyway he doesn't find out until after the conference when airplane tells him to keep his acrid scent under control, his house is starting to stink.
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rayroseu · 3 months ago
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You know what's sick as hell about the design of the Briar Senates??? It's that their design mirrors the weapon of the Draconias 😭✨
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I know they're getting flak rn bcs they feel like "boomers who's against any progress because they value toxic tradition" but i don't really think they're like... entirely evil lol or the root of every bad thing that happened in Malleus'/Lilia's life (though im side eyeing them as one of the perpetrators still lol)
Tbh, removing them would also cause more harm (just some social issues inside the fae society tbh) than good imo, (I know many ppl say this bcs they think removing the Senates would make it possible for the peace between human and faes, but the thing is, the Senates aren't the only group that thinks this way, almost the entirety of Briar Valley does lol so forcibly removing them now would only come off as "Malleus forcing "human ideals" on the faes just because he has spent 4 years with the humans"(plus is the understanding between humans and faes truly achieved if you try to silence one group(even if that group is kinda disagreeable with anything human related lol), plus realistically the faes would trust their fellow faes first rather than some humans,
so for me, Briar Senates doesn't give off the vibe of toxic old people who drags others down in their toxic practices (while that can be an accurate description i feel like it generalizes too much about their behaviour), rather than that, Briar Senates feels more like thorns, like thorns that surrounds Briar Valley, they're not exactly harmful unless you go against them, but ultimately they're still protection for Briar Valley.
Which makes it fitting that their design has a similarity with the Draconia's weapon, they're the thorns that protects the Draconias, even if it means sheltering them.
And, tbh, if the Senates other job is to ensure Draconias lives, they're kinda doing a "decent job"??? If we can assume through Maleficia's (and Malleus' case), since we didnt hear about her leaving the Senate's side, she managed to survive for so long, unlike Meleanor😭 Also could explain why they're so enraged when Lilia arrived with the news that Meleanor died and why they hated the weak bcs what would weakness could protect JJDSJD Kinda wish their hatred against Lilia wasnt that he was a weak bat fae, but rather they doubled down on the fact he failed protecting Meleanor, imagine if Gen. Lilia wasnt as great in magic as the fae nobles were, yet he still managed to earn a position beside the Princess, all that hard work only to fail at the most crucial time, it wouldve make sense in the Senates' side to say, "Meleanor shouldnt have appointed him" (because "he's weak from the start")
oh additionally, this is just my assumption, bcs I felt like the way the Senates recoiled when Lilia hatched the egg was kinda... random?? so this is my made up reason lol Remember, the Senates were adamant that Maleficia should only be the one to hatch the egg because she's a Draconia, but Lilia did it and he's not a Draconia, What if because Lilia hatched the egg, it also affected the development of Malleus?? Like maybe for instance, it affected Malleus' lifespan, maybe he still lives more than one thousand years but he won't live for another thousand years like a pure Draconia because he's been hatched by Lilia as opposed to who they wanted it to be, which is Maleficia, OF COURSE Lilia hatching the egg is heaps better than Malleus dying before being born, but this is just my auto thoughts regarding the random hate reaction the Senates did when Lilia hatched Malleus lol
Interestingly, the placement of the stone of Draconia against the thorns (of the Senates) can also be hinted at their relationship with them??? In Meleanor's case, her stone is on top of the thorns, which may indicate that she's not under the Senate's commands or that its just telling she just lived distantly from the Senates, most importantly her stone is bigger than the thorns which may tell the fact that the Senates worships her because she's powerful and greater than them, and she's not someone who can be trapped/ordered around within the Senates. But, tragically, in Malleus' case, his stone is under the thorns, like its telling that he's under the Senates protection at all cost and his stone is little compared to Meleanor's because he's still young.
I also have a theory that the Senates are part of Briar Valley's land, like its been canonically said that they're the dead faes of Briarland, which makes think that their death is similar to the death of Conall from Maleficent 2, when Conall was buried, his body literally morphed to the land, which makes me think this is how the Senates used to be buried, when they die, they become one with the land, that's why you can't just remove them, when they are literally the Lands of Briar Valley,,,, get it lol
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Though this is making me think that if this is the case then Maleficia's city,,, if the Senate's presence are the strongest there bcs that's where they're nearly buried, does that mean around Black Scale Castle is just lowkey a graveyard.... Is that why Halloween is special for Briar Valley bcs they have close ties/respect for the dead and Halloween is essentially about honoring the dead 😭✨
Off topic, but maybe the thorns part of the Draconia's staff may also tell about their age. Notice how Meleanor's staff has 3 twists which may tell that she's atleast 300~ years old, (if each twists signifies a century), while Malleus' staff only has one twist on its thorns which is accurate considering he's only 178 years old (one century).
If this is true, I'm kinda curious about Maleficia's staff... does that mean hers will be convered in thorns (she needs at least 7 twists (7 centuries~ and more) there on her staff 😭✨)
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quarterlifekitty · 2 months ago
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Cw: hybrids, blood, mentions of getting sheared lol. I included a picture of an animal with blood on it, but the animal is NOT injured.
Ngl I’ve been really into @moondirti ‘s sheep girl AU and I just remembered the existence of anti-wolf collars and uhhhhhh…. Thinking about a hybrid AU where sheep!reader is in a flock guarded by Pyrenees!König. This could work with so many of them, but I thought of him first.
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He wears the traditional collar to defend him from wolves. He fights them off to keep you safe. You were the runt of your lambkin, back when he was still just being trained, and he bonded to you right away.
He follows you everywhere. Chases you anywhere. Hates that he gets worried sick when you curiously wander off.
He’s ended the lives of more predators than he can count. He tries his best not to do it in front of you. But you’ve seen it once or twice. He’s come sprinting when you’ve bleated out for him— a ways from the rest of the flock and being advanced upon by a lone wolf. It tried to tear him apart by the neck, but the collar protected him. You were found by the Shepard, pressed close to his body while his fur dripped with still-warm blood.
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His heart and cock ache at the sight of you. He knows he isn’t supposed to feel this way— sheep and their guard dog often bond very closely, but not as close as you have. Despite your size, you’re a very pretty, prized thing. Your wool grows quick and full, the crimping dense and curly, with a lustrous sheen. (Uhm not to be size kink on main but maybe she’s a babydoll sheep heeheehee). You’re not just common stock— the owners will want you bred and full of lambs of your own come spring. They’ll pick out their best ram— maybe even one from another ranch— just for you. He can already see how the rams in the flock nuzzle and huff at you affectionately— a preamble to how they’ll lock horns over you once the breeding season starts proper. König puzzlingly replicates some of this behavior, maybe even unconsciously— he just yearns so deeply to be close to you.
He watches with great interest when you’re sheared. Your lanolin stems your bleeding before it can begin when you get nicked, but he licks the wound anyways. Keeps you curled with him when the wind is blowing fierce in the valley and you don’t have the wool to keep you warm.
He struggles deeply with his sense of duty. You’re a thing of value to the humans. He was born to keep you pristine and safe so they could do with you as they pleased. But he can see and hear— the way you wrinkle your nose and bleat with discomfort when being crowded by the rams. You never do that with him.
He’s only ever known loyalty. He was given a purpose from the moment he could stand a bark, and it isn’t something he takes lightly. But he’s starting to think he’d throw it all away if you only wanted him to.
There’s something about you that makes him wish more than anything that he’d been born a selfish, greedy beast instead of a noble one.
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misstycloud · 5 days ago
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Platonic vampire father x reader
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• Vampire, who is greatly feared and treated as a legend among the townsfolk. He’s the one parents tell their children will come for them unless they start to behave. Living alone for hundreds of years was alright by him, vampires were mostly solitary creatures anyhow. He slept during the day to regain his strength, then fed by nightfall. Sometimes it was just one or two humans, other times he took the lives of entire families in one giant serving. It was all simply fine- until it wasn’t. For one who had lived so long in solitude it seemed humourous to feel lonely all of a sudden.
• The vampire had not meant to have a child. It occurred without plan. However cold he may be, something urged him to keep you; the tiny, defenseless(not by human standards), and certainly hungry child he’d created. It was a hoax, that vampires could not procreate in the traditional sense; made up by the few vampire parents who did care enough about their children to ensure no one should hunt for them. If humans knew there were multiple ways and how easy it was to make more of this damned race, then the search for these children would be endless. Plus, burning the children would surely be easier than to behead a fully fledged adult monster?
• Now that you were sleeping soundlessly within his grasp, how could he ever let you go? There was no way he could let you run around like a child needs to, should the two of you live close to any civilisation. So he fled, deep into the wilderness where no one ought to find you. Yet it wasn’t too far out so it’d be impossible to find prey- especially with the help of his knowledge and ability to travel far distances. Good luck his uncle had a large castle standing empty for your use. Further luck was it that vampire father had killed him long ago, otherwise there’d be an unpleasant battle for territory.
• You were hopelessly adorable when you latched onto his wrist, teeth bared and fangs ready. They were small, but vicious. There was no question you’d be ruthless when you grew up. During the first year after a vampires birth, they had to feed from their parents. It was similar to how human babies gain nutrients from their mother whilst in the womb, and later rely on her milk to survive the harsh conditions of the outside world. He’ll find the best humans to eat so you’d be getting the finest nutrients afterwards.
• He loves getting you cute dresses and styling your hair. You’re like a fine china doll. Playing is also fun. You’re so full of energy that even he- exceeding physical abilities and all- had to take a break every now and then. He cannot count how many times he has been forced to chase you high-speed around the castle in order to prevent you from knocking anything over. An ordinary human would never have vitality to care for a vampire child. Apart from the likelihood of being drained on the spot, vampire children are very high maintenance and would tire a human beyond compare in less than a week. His favourite activity with you is teaching you to hunt. It’s a fantastic way to bond. He’ll make sure to encourage you and give you good opportunities; the complete opposite of how his parents taught him. They were rough and did not care at all, which was not rare for vampires but still.
• No matter how wonderful you looked while tearing the coachman’s throat out, vampire father would be lying if he said he didn’t miss the old days when you were younger. You didn’t have to wristfeed anymore and could do nicely by yourself. As he rested within his coffin, he reassured himself he was still needed. You would not reach adulthood until you were 150 years old, and even then you would still be his child- you would need him yet.
• Vampire father has servants who work in the castle. Maids and butlers who clean(no chefs of course) and are human. Whenever you asked your father about where they came from, he responded with ‘I took them to work here for us’. You noticed three things about the servants: they were a lot weaker than you, constantly scared in your or your fathers presence if their erratic beating heart was anything to go by, and they were often replaced. It was one night, you were reading, and a maid walked in to sweep the floor. You’d recognised her as Zoe. She was one of the only few who’d managed to stay(alive) for more than four years. However, the Zoe in your memory was youthful with dark hair and bright eyes; this one in front of you was worn down and grey.
• This realisation opened up your mind for curiosity aimed towards humans. Previously, you hadn’t really noticed them or cared. You saw them as food and disposable, just like your father did. But now you began thinking about the differences between you as species. Clearly, vampires were the superior race, being faster, stronger, more durable and free of illness. Although the loneliness of a vampire could count as a disease itself, the only inevitable, natural suffering of a creature of the night. So if vampire were superior, how come you all live in shadows? Why, despite there being fewer of you, did you not rule as royalty? And how come weak beings such as humans were almost happier than a vampires ever been? You wished to know the simple joy humans knew. You wanted to understand how they could be so happy as they were. How did they chose what path to dedicate their lives to when they had such short ones? You desired answers to the question on wether one could really be fulfilled in a mere 100 years; a lot of humans didn’t even make it past that age.
• You were more intrigued than ever. You just had to learn more about humans and their strange perspectives. They were so different from you. Unfortunately, your vampire father did not like your newest interest. He had taken you into the forest to hide you from humans and now you actively sought them out? You would end up chased or burned in sunlight! He would never allow that to happen to you. He’s your father and he’s sworn to stand by you.
He’ll protect his little doll.
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chesterfieldblossom · 4 months ago
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"AMERICAN WEDDING"
Arthur Morgan x Reader (1k words) "Well you can have my mustang / That's all I've got in my name"
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SUMMARY | Arthur and you had been in a discreet relationship, but everyone on the camp knew your commitment. But of course, he wanted to make a bit more official. NOTES | It's really short, like just and idea I had on my notes when I was listening American Wedding by Frank Ocean. But I hope y'all enjoy. Also, dividers by @cafekitsune WARNINGS/TAGS | Oneshot, fluff, wedding proposal, f!reader RATING | Teen
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"Well, you can have my Mustang." He drawled, voice low and quiet, as though he didn’t want to disturb the night. "That's all I got in my name."
You glanced up at him, the moonlight casting faint shadows across his face, highlighting the lines of weariness that came with the life he led. His eyes, usually hard and distant, were softer now, vulnerable even. Arthur Morgan was not a man who gave easily, and yet, here he was, offering you what little he had—his horse, his loyalty, his heart.
You had thought about marriage before—when you were younger, when life seemed simpler and oblivious. But the image had always been different: a small church, family gathered, maybe even a white dress. Not this—lying on a dusty cot, surrounded by the wilderness, with Arthur Morgan of all people. But that was the thing about life, wasn’t it? It never turned out quite like you imagined.
"Arthur..." You whispered, unsure of how to respond. The weight of his words hung in the air, heavy with meaning. He wasn’t just talking about his Mustang. This was Arthur’s way of saying everything—his past, his future, his soul. You could feel his uncertainty, the tension in the way his fingers hovered slightly above you bare arm, as if he was waiting for you to make a move, to push him away, to tell him no.
But you didn’t want to. God, you would be out of your damn mind if you say no.
You reached up, placing your hand on his, stilling his gentle caress. His hand was large, warm, and rough from years of hard work. It grounded you, made you feel safe in this world of chaos. "I don’t need a Mustang, Arthur." You murmured, thumb tracing circles on the back of his hand. "I need you."
His breath hitched almost imperceptibly, and for a moment, no one spoke. You could feel his heartbeat, strong and steady, a reminder of the man beneath the outlaw. You could see the boy in he for the first time, a glimpse of your children. You wondered if he ever imagined this for himself, or if he thought he was too far gone for something like love, like commitment.
"I ain’t got much to offer." he finally said, voice hushed, like he was scared the words might break something between you. "Ain’t never been good at... well, any of this. You know that."
You smiled softly, shifting closer to him. "You’re enough, Arthur. Just you. That’s all I’ve ever wanted."
He didn’t speak for a while, just stared at you, as if he were trying to make sense of how someone could want him—just him. The world had not been kind to Arthur Morgan, and in many ways, it had hardened him. But beneath the roughness, the gruff words and guarded glances, there was a man who felt deeply, who cared more than he let on.
As if making a decision, Arthur suddenly shifted beside you, reaching into the pocket of his worn coat. You watched, curious, as he fumbled for a moment before pulling something out—a small, delicate ring. The band was thin, silver, and simple, with no extravagant jewels, but to you, it was the most beautiful thing in the world.
He held it out to you, almost sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. "Picked it up in town a while back." he admitted, eyes flicking up to meet yours. "Didn’t know if you’d... well, if you’d want it. Ain’t much, but it’s real silver."
Your breath caught in your throat, your heart swelling in your chest. The fact that Arthur had gone out of his way to find a ring, something so traditional, so symbolic, meant more than words could express. You could see the way he was looking at you, searching for some kind of approval, some sign that this was right.
"Arthur..." You whispered, the voice breaking slightly. "It’s beautiful."
Without another word, he took your left hand in his, his touch gentle but sure. Slowly, almost reverently, he slid the ring onto your finger. It fit snugly, as though it had been made for you, and the cool metal sent a shiver through your skin. The moment felt timeless, as if you were the only two people in the world, surrounded by the quiet wilderness and the faint glow of the stars.
"There." he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper. "Now it’s official, I guess."
You couldn’t help but smile, tears prickling at the corners of your eyes. This was not the wedding you had once imagined, but in every way that mattered, it was better. Arthur Morgan was yours, and you was his, bound not by law or tradition, but by something deeper—something unbreakable.
You leaned forward, pressing your forehead against his, the noses brushing, breaths mingling in the cool night air. "I love you, Arthur Morgan." You whispered, the voice thick with emotion. "More than anything."
He closed his eyes, his arms wrapping around you as he pulled you close, his lips pressing softly to your temple. "I love you too." he murmured, the words coming out rough, like they were foreign to him. But they were real, and that’s all that mattered.
As you rested your head against his chest, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breathing, you looked down at the ring now glinting on your finger. It was simple, yes, but it was yours. Arthur leaned forward, lifting your chin to gave you a kiss. You happily returned, your bodies shifting closer as he embrace you and the lips moved together.
"But Jesus Christ don't break my heart." He whispered. The warm breath brushed on your lips, making you want to kiss him again.
"This wedding ring won't ever wipe off." You promised to him, whispering back.
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whorekneecentral · 1 year ago
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Tis' The Season
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Lewis Hamilton x Fem!Reader
Warnings: old friends reappear, flashbacks in italics, complicated relationships, expensive gifts cause it's lew lew duh, uses roscoe as an in, brocedes mention, alcohol and the consumption of, sexual tension, oral (f!receiving), degrading, the use of 'slut' in a sexual context, penetrative sex (p in v), choking, creampie, soft moments at be end.
Word Count: 2,668
Author's Note: love me some lew lew and he gives fuckboy turned lover boy so here we areeeeee
merry smutmas series
--
An old friend finds his way to your front door and no matter how much you try to get rid of him, you can’t. 
A knock on the door startles you as you hung the ornament on your Christmas tree. You shout that you're coming, grabbing your wallet out of your purse, as you jog to your front door. You assumed it was your take-out delivery guy and that's not who it was when you opened the door.
The man smiles at you, bags in hand and puppy between his legs. "Hi beautiful," Lewis smiles at you, bundled up in his winter coat.
You huff, looking at him. "Hi Lewis.. what are you doing here?"
He lifts the bags, showing you. "Happy holidays, y/n. I come bearing gifts."
"Seriously?" You hold back the urge to roll your eyes, Roscoe barks and gets your attention, you crouch down to pat his side, the dog leaning into your hand before waddling his way into the house. Lewis doesn't stop him, smiling at you.
"Are you gonna let me in, love? Roscoe is already inside, it'd be rude to let me freeze out here."
You don't have the heart to let them freeze, especially since you know how Roscoe loves him so much.
You let Lewis in, the man takes his shoes off by the door and follows you down the hallway to the living room. Roscoe had already made himself comfortable, shaking off the cold, and lying down by the fireplace. Despite you and Lewis not talking for years, you had left Roscoe's dog bed by the fireplace, as it had always been, picking it up to clean and setting it back in its spot.
Lewis sets the bags on the coffee table, hanging his coat off the arm rest of your couch. "I didn't know if you still live here."
"Well now that you do, I'll have to move, won't I?"
He chuckles, smiling to himself - nice to see your sense of humour has remained.
"Go on, open 'em." He nods towards the gifts on the table. You were adjusting an ornament on the tree, "I don't want it, Lewis."
"Oh hush, don't be annoying, y/n. Just open it."
You rolled your eyes, sitting across from him on the couch and picking up the first bag, the shape was a give away. Carefully, you pulled the bottle of wine out of the bag, some expensive French wine that you two had once upon a time when you took a trip to France. You read the label, setting it down on the table gently.
"Expensive," you eye him and he smiles. "Open the other one." He says quietly, watching as you tear the wrapping paper.
You freeze, the orange box staring back at you, the signature black and white ribbon around the box; Hermes Paris written across the top.
"Lewis.." You look at the man and he nods, waiting for you to go on. You carefully undo the ribbon, taking the lid off of the box. There's clearly a bag in the box, wrapped in a dust bag.
You feel underdressed and dirty, as if you should have showered before opening such a gift. You take the purse out of the dust bag, a Birkin in Bougainvillea - the same shade you had seen so many years ago.
His arm rested over your shoulders, the two of you cuddled on the couch as Lewis flipped through the tv channels. Formula One had wrapped up for the 2008 season and your dearest friend Lewis was now a Formula One world champion.
You, on the other hand, were still in med school.
Lewis had come home for the holidays, a yearly tradition of trashy Christmas movies and Chinese take out had commenced, Lewis picking out something for you two to watch as you flipped through the magazine.
"This one," you tell him, nudging him with your shoulder. "I want this one." You show him the bright pink Birkin bag - in the shade Bougainvillea. It's unrealistically, shockingly pink but it was the newest colour in the collection and you wanted it.
"I'm gonna get this for myself when I finish med school and I'm a rich surgeon."
Lewis smiles, "I'll get it for you, love. No need to wait so long, consider it your med school graduation gift." He kisses your head.
They don't make this colour anymore, you're sure it must have cost Lewis a fortune. "How did you even.. they don't make this colour anymore." You examined the bag, setting it back into the dust bag carefully.
"I know people, y/n."
You hum, "it's too much."
"It's your gift, y/n. I promised you, didn't I?"
You smiled, nodding as you carefully set the bag back into the box. "Thank you Lew, really."
The man smiles, it's been years since he's heard you call him Lewis. You two had a falling out a while back, right after his first championship win with Mercedes - you didn't like the way he treated you, pushed you off to the side as if you hadn't been there for him through it all. Lewis was and still is career driven, it has and will always take first priority to him but it ruined your friendship and it had ruined the same special bond he had with Nico.
In this moment, you let all that go.
The doorbell rings, intruding on your thoughts. "Expecting someone?" Lewis asks, glancing at you as you set the Hermes box on the coffee table.
"No.. oh wait yeah, the take out guy." You say, getting up. Lewis waves you off, getting up and fishes his wallet out of his pocket. "I'm not a broke med student anymore, Lewis. I can afford to pay for dinner."
"As can I, so hush." He says, making his way down the foyer to the front door, paying the man.
You can hear bits and pieces of their hushed conversation, the man thanks him before the door shuts.
The bags are taken to the kitchen and you see him looking around, clearly looking for something. You decide to put him out of his misery, getting up to help him look for plates. Lewis stops, leaning on the counter as he watches you get the dishes out of the cupboard.
"I'm sorry." He says, his words catching you off guard.
Your brows furrow, looking at him. "What for?"
"For everything. What happened in the past… That was between us and I know that it was my fault, and I shouldn't have said what I said, but I truly am sorry. You don't have to forgive me, but I would just like to start over if you give me the chance."
"Okay," you nod, setting the plates on the table.
"Okay."
He joined you at the table, the two of you sitting quietly and eating dinner like you've done many times over the years. Tonight was different though, there was a sense of relief in the air as if this tension had been lifted off your shoulders after so many years. The quiet sound of cutlery clinking against the dishes and Roscoe's snores coming from the fireplace filled the house.
At some point after dinner, you were putting the dishes in the sink and Lewis asked if he should open a bottle of wine that he brought. You shrug, reaching into the cabinet to get the glasses while Lewis pulls the cork out of the bottle before filling the glasses half way.
The house is quiet as the two of you sit on the couch, Lewis handing you a glass of wine. It's a comfortable silence, Lewis takes a sip of his wine as he looks over at you; he can't help but notice how you've aged beautifully over the years, not in a you look old sort of way but the maturity you've come into seems to suit you perfectly.
Next to him, you seem to make the same realization but with him. Lewis what is a baby faced, starting to find himself boy when you two had you falling out. Now he was grown, and even more handsome than the day you had walked away from him.
You take the first step, setting the glass down on the coffee table before reaching for Lewis's glass, setting it with yours.
The tension in the room is thick enough to cut with a knife, the two of you sitting there in silence, inching closer and closer with each passing second until he finally closes the gap between the two of you.
Lewis's hands find your hips, the man pulling you onto his lap. You settle against him as if you had always been there. His lips trail down your neck, hands slipping under your shirt.
"No," you whispered, your hands wrapping around his wrists. Lewis looked at you confused, wondering if he had done something wrong.
"What?"
"We can't do this here."
"Why not?" He asks and you nod towards Roscoe, the dog still fast asleep by the fireplace.
Lewis can't help but laugh, his forehead pressing to your shoulder. "Love, he's asleep. It's fine."
"Oh my god," you smacked his shoulder, "that doesn't mean we're gonna fuck in front of him."
He raises an eyebrow, "we're gonna fuck?"
"Don't be a fuckboy, Lew." The man ignored your words, his arms wrapping around you, picking you up with ease, carrying you down the hallway to your bedroom. Despite the years he hadn't spent there, nothing's changed.
Lewis drops you on the bed and you propped yourself up, watching him get undressed before he sits next to you, his hand cups your jaw and you smile at him. “Hi,” you whisper. 
“Hi,” he smiles at you, leaning down to kiss your nose and you scrunch it in response. “You’re cheeky.” 
“You love it,” he says, kissing your nose again. 
Lewis leans down a bit more and kisses you but you pull away, sliding off the bed. “We can't.” You tell him, about to walk away but he grabs your hips, pulling you to stand between his legs. 
Your hands rest on his shoulders, sliding up to rest on his jaw. His beard tickles the palm of your hand as you look at him. Lewis doesn't have to say anything and all the worries seem to slip away in the moment, it was as if you hadn't spent a single day apart.
The man pulls you down on top of him, his hands sliding down your back to rest on your waist as you sit yourself on his lap. 
“We-” you go to remind him once more but he cuts you off with a kiss. Lewis flips the two of you over, letting you lay on your back when he gets off the bed, he pulls you to the edge of the bed. 
Your eyes fixed on the man between your legs, looking at him in awe. Something about Lewis always fascinated you; you could never put your finger on it but he was always an object of fascination, of desire.
He can feel your eyes on him, he reaches for the lace you’re wrapped up in under your clothes and tugs it down your legs, letting it fall to the floor. He shifts to sit on his knees between your legs, leaving a trail of kisses as he works his way up to your cunt.
Your eyes meet his, he knows you’re looking; he wants you to look at him.
Your hips buck when you feel his tongue against your clit, your hand gripping on his hair.
Lewis knew you like the back of his hand, gripping your thighs to keep them in place as his tongue lapped your clit. Your hips buck, your way of saying you want more and Lewis gives in.
Two fingers pushing into you, Lewis glances up to see your head tossed back onto the pillows, eyes fluttering shut and your free hand groping your tit.
Between his fingers and his tongue, your orgasm was teetering on the edge; he knew that much. Lewis pulls his hands away, the sticky fingers on your thighs. A whimper leaves your lips at the loss of fullness.
Your chest heaving, your grip on his hair loosening now that you’re right on the edge, you’re almost there and he just has to - he’s stopped. 
“Why'd you stop?” You sit up, a pout on your lips when you look at the man between your legs. 
“Shush, you love hanging on the edge,” Lewis tells you with a smile, unbuttoning his pants. 
He lines himself up with you, and Lewis lets you take him little by little, pulling out almost all the way each time before finally pushing into you all the way. He's in charge and you both know it, letting him set the pace; slow and steady and it was driving you insane.
You needed him.
You didn’t want slow, you wanted it hard and messy, the type of fuck where you couldn’t keep your hands off each other.
“Lew, come on.” Your hand reaches to rest on his hand that’s on your hip. “Need more.”
“Do you?” He hums, moving a little faster.
You know giving him attitude won’t help but you can’t help but roll your eyes, “more than that.”
“Needy,” he calls, pulling you closer by your legs.
Finally, you get what you want, Lewis’s hips hitting the back of your thighs, he leans over you and your arms are pinned about your head, both legs up on his shoulders now. The angle was enough to push you over the edge but he didn’t care.
“Lew please-” you tried to wiggle your hands loose but he didn’t budge. 
“What’s wrong baby?” he asks, mockingly, “isn't this what you wanted?” 
“It is, but-” your head tosses back, back arched when he hits the spot he was looking for. 
“Oh,” he coos, smiling at you. “Is my baby so fucked out, she can’t even tell me what she wants?” His thrusts are sloppy, you knew he was just as close as you were. 
“Gonna cum-” you barely get out between strangled moans. Lewis finally lets go of your wrists and one of his hands has wrapped around your throat.
“C’mon sweetheart, want you to cum for me.” He says, knowing it won't be long more.
He watches as your eyes flutter shut and he reaches for you with his other hand, holding your jaw and pulling you up a little, your elbows holding up the weight of your body.
“Look at me when you cum.”
You’re forcing yourself to keep your eyes open, focusing on him. A few more sloppy thrusts and between that and his fingers, you’re over the edge.  He kisses you, muffling the noise you were making. The wetness wrapping around his cock, and with a few sloppy thrusts, Lewis follows behind you. 
The two of you are still tangled together, laying in bed next to each other. Lewis looks over at you, you look back at him with a sleepy smile on your face.
"Should I.."
"Should you.." you trailed off, waiting to hear what he says. Lewis shrugs, "should I go home?"
You take a moment to think, not about kicking him out - that was never an option but perhaps the things that lead you here.
There's a noise from outside the door, a sort of scratching. Seems like Roscoe had woken up and came looking for you two. Lewis takes the hint, getting up to open the door for the dog. You put on your shirt and your panties and Lewis lets Roscoe in, the dog jumping up on the bed with some assistance from his dad.
Lewis gets under the covers with you, Roscoe settled at the edge of the bed. You look over at Lewis, his hand resting on yours.
"I think you should." You tell him quietly and Lewis's brows furrow, a pout forming on his lips. "I should?" He asks.
You nod, "you should stay."
Lewis lets out a soft sigh, smiling. His hand squeezes yours gently. "I'll stay."
---
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fandoms-x-reader · 7 months ago
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Flirting
Requested By: @midnightskyeneko
Headcannons
Summary: How the love interests flirt with you. ~Suggestive at times~ Bonus Characters: Solomon, Simeon, Diavolo
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When it comes to Lucifer’s flirting style, there’s only one word to describe it - polite.
Given your past with Lucifer, he would prefer to take the more subtle approach to flirting. He would rather you not pick up on his signs of flirting than think he has pushed too far.
Lucifer will give you compliments in a respectful way. He will tell you that you look beautiful or he will commend you on how well you are doing in your academics.
That’s his version of flirting. He has a reputation to uphold after all. He can’t very well be as forthcoming as Asmo or as embarrassing as Mammon.
He feels the need to make his emotions known through traditional courtship. Dinner, flowers, Demonus, and such. He will pull out all of the stops to impress you and make his feelings known.
He appreciates it when you make an effort to let him know you share the feelings. Holding hands, pressing closer to him when it’s cold, or telling him how much you enjoy spending time with him. He’ll enjoy any type of affection, verbal or non-verbal.
The two of you were at a dance that was being held at Diavolo’s castle. It was a celebration of one of the many anniversaries the Devildom had.
You were dancing with Lucifer, one hand holding yours as the other rested on your waist. He pulled you close, taking in all of your features. Admiring how attractive you were.
Your scent intoxicated his senses as he tried to take in as much of you as he could. He was falling down a dangerous hole and he couldn’t stop himself from the temptation that overtook him. He was a demon, after all.
“Would you care to spend the rest of the night with me? Perhaps ending in my bedroom?” Lucifer asked with a smile as his black and red eyes looked deep into yours,
Lucifer’s candor took you by surprise and you pressed your cheek into his shoulder to hide the intense blush that rose to your cheeks. “Don’t tease me,” you told him as you did your best to hide from him.
Lucifer smirked at your expression. He enjoyed the feeling of you pressed against him, doing your best to hide the emotions that were trying desperately to escape.
He held you close before replying, “I wouldn’t dream of it.”
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Mammon is an absolute mess whenever you flirt with him. He does not handle it well. It can be something as simple as giving him a compliment to something more daring like thanking him with a kiss on the cheek. It didn’t matter how you flirted, it always elicited the same reaction from Mammon.
It would start with blushing, as he became a stuttering mess. Then once the initial shock passed, he would follow up by saying something like, “Of course you would think that about the Great Mammon.” Or, “Of course you’d want to kiss me on the cheek.” And then a very adamant denial of anything ever happening would top it all off.
It was an adorable sight watching Mammon get flustered by the smallest things you do. And, it only gave you motivation to do them more often.
Mammon would be sitting across the class from you, watching as you would gently play with your hair. He wondered if you knew how cute you looked when you did that. The second you caught him staring, you flashed him a confident smile. Mammon would immediately turn away, blushing.
If you send him a wink as well, he’ll blush twice as hard.
He invited you over for a movie night and suggested a horror movie - even though he hates them. You made sure to sit as close to him as possible. “So you can protect me,” you defended and Mammon melted. 
“Of course you’d want the Great Mammon to protect ya.” You swore he said some version of that same line more than he said anything else.
Still, you couldn’t help but notice the way his arms fell around you anyway. His cheeks were stained pink for the first few minutes, but when he realized you were okay with his affections, he eventually relaxed. 
Besides, it was just the two of you there so no one would make fun of him or tease him about this moment later.
You were getting a bit tired after a while and Mammon took notice. “Do you want to go to sleep?” Mammon asked you, pausing the movie to talk to you.
You shook your head before replying, “I don’t feel like going back to my room yet.” You were exhausted and the last thing you wanted to do was get up and leave.
“You could spend the night with me,” Mammon suggested, his eyes lighting up at the idea. And although he had pure intentions, the way he spoke the sentence came off more suggestive than he meant it.
Mammon’s eyes widened as he realized the mistake in interpretation and he opened his mouth to come up with a defense but stopped when he noticed the way you were avoiding his gaze as your cheeks were red.
Mammon had never seen this side of you. He was usually the one that looked like this while you sat across from him with a proud smile. 
Now, he understood why. He was savoring every moment of your flustered reaction. Did the idea of staying with him make you that excited?
Mammon was now determined to be a bit more forward with you. He wanted to see you blushing at the things he said more often. But, only when the two of you were alone. He couldn’t let his brothers see how adorable you were when you were like this.
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Levi fits in his own category when it comes to flirting.
He’s not particularly good at it, mostly because his words are a mix of jumbled phrases. And yet, his sincerity in the feelings he’s trying to get across is so endearing that his charm somehow ends up coming off anyway.
He’s pretty shy when you are flirting with him. He’s so used to thinking negative thoughts about himself that when you compliment him it comes as a shock. He’s not quite sure how to react; but, it’s mostly a combination of stuttering or blushing.
Levi tries to take the subtle approach to flirting back with you. He’ll compliment your skills in a game or tell you that you remind him of one of his favorite anime characters. 
He’ll get more confident as time passes, getting a bit more straightforward with his actions and words. He wants you to feel as flustered as you make him.
He went to Asmo for advice on this. Asmo is the Avatar of Lust, so he could help him with his love life right? Of course, he also made Asmo swear to not tell any of their other brothers.
Asmo suggested that Levi make a more intimate move on you to get you to understand his feelings for you. And, as an otaku there was one thing in particular that came into his mind. It may be bold, but if it got his feelings across, then he was willing to try it.
You were in his room, standing near the wall as you started looking through some games to find one for the two of you to play.
Levi took a deep breath. It was now or never.
In a instant, Levi moved over to you and had you pushed up against the wall, his hand slamming against it next to your head.
You let out a gasp as your cheeks immediately turned red. Levi did his best to remain confident. He had seen kabedon in anime. He read about it in manga. But, doing it in real life was different.
“L-Levi,” you stuttered out, wanting to hide your flustered expression, but he was too close to turn away. 
Then tension was thick between the two of you as Levi stared into your eyes.
“Ooh, yes! That was the perfect gesture, Levi!” Asmo squealed and you both immediately looked over at him. How did he get in?!
“Ah! Asmo, get out!” Levi yelled, backing away from you quickly. “But it was just getting good!” Asmo pouted.
You moved away from the wall, trying to regain your composure. You did not expect that from Levi.
Levi was nervous and blushing but he felt accomplished in his goal. 
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In regards to the five flirting styles, Satan is a sincere flirt. 
He may not make as many flirtatious compliments or actions as some of his other brothers would. Asmo.
But, that doesn’t mean he isn’t trying just as hard.
He believes in flirting through building your connection. He wants to get to know you.
He’ll take you somewhere quiet and intimate so that he can ask you questions. What genre of books do you like to read? What are your hobbies? Where do you like to go in your free time?
He prefers intimate actions over quick and playful ones.
You would reach for a book on the top shelf of the library. You were just a bit short, having to stand on your tiptoes to reach it and Satan would notice your struggle.
He would come up behind you, one hand gently resting respectfully on the small of your back while the other grabs the book for you.
“Is this the one you wanted?” he asked, handing you the book. You would smile up at him and nod your head. Your body was pressed against his as you told him, “Thanks, Satan.”
That was the end of the interaction. Short and sweet. 
The interaction may not have lasted for long, but he knew it was only a matter of time before it happened again. The two of you had a habit of longing looks and lingering touches.
You were at the cafe with Satan, sitting next to him at a table as you waited for your drinks to be made.
He was helping you study for a particular class but he kept losing focus.
Your eyes were trained on the pages in front of you as your eyebrows furrowed slightly in concentration.
And while you were concentrated on the work, Satan was concentrated on you, noticing an eyelash that had fallen on your cheek.
He debated just saying something, but ultimately decided on gently rubbing his thumb over your cheek to remove it.
You blushed slightly and stared at Satan as he raised his hand for you to see the eyelash that was resting on his thumb. “Humans believe in wishing upon a fallen eyelash, right?” Satan asked.
You nodded your head and he brought his hand closer, allowing you to make a wish. You closed your eyes, stating a wish in your mind, and then gently blowing the eyelash off Satan’s finger.
When you opened your eyes, Satan was smiling at you. His eyes were full of love as he told you, “I made a wish too.”
You raised an eyebrow and he added, “I wished for a kiss.” You immediately turned away from Satan, smiling as your cheeks felt hot. “Satan,” you said with a small chuckle, as you tried to regain your composure.
He had heard that you weren’t supposed to tell other people your wish. If you did, it wouldn’t come true. So, maybe his wish wouldn’t come true because he voiced it. He was okay with that. It was worth it enough to see the way you got flustered. 
He hoped to make you flustered more often. He would be pulling out all of the cheesy tricks he’s read about in his books to get you to smile and blush at him again.
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Asmo is obviously a very flirty person in general. He loves giving compliments almost as much as he loves receiving them.
And he especially loves it every single time you compliment him. He always wants more. Tell him his hair is on point. Tell him his outfit is very trendy. Tell him that his beauty compares to no one. It feeds his ego.
He’ll always have his own compliment or flirty remark to come back with though.
“Thanks, Y/N, but look at you.” Asmo only used his sing-song voice to heavily emphasize something, and when it came to complimenting you, he always made sure to emphasize that point.
The two of you got so comfortable with sending flirty comments back and forth, that it pretty much became second nature. It was completely shameless flirting. It didn’t matter who heard it.
To the brothers, the frequency of the flirting made it seem like you and Asmo were in a competition to see who could flirt the most. And if it was a competition, you and Asmo were tied and neither one of you was backing down anytime soon.
Asmo particularly liked it when the two of you were alone. The stolen glances and amorous statements that were made in secrecy, for only him to hear. They may have been small comments, nothing too serious, but it made him feel special.
“Your skin is so soft!” you complimented Asmo as you gently rubbed your finger over his cheek. You had just helped him take off a face mask and it left his skin completely smooth.
“I can’t wait to see what yours feels like!” he replied, switching positions so that he could help take yours off as well. His eyes traced every movement that his hands made as he made sure to get all of it off.
Asmo was amazed by how beautiful you were. His hand gently rested against your cheek, cupping it softly. The warm contact felt nice and you couldn’t help but lean into his touch.
“So?” you asked, looking into his eyes. Asmo pursed his lips for a moment, as he contemplated what to say.
“Your skin is really soft. But…I bet your lips are even softer,” he replied, leaning in dangerously close. His lips were mere inches away from yours as his eyes locked with yours again. “Should we find out?”
A blush immediately rose to your cheeks as you tore your gaze away from Asmo. “Stop it,” you said quietly, gently pushing him away.
Asmo wasn’t offended that you pushed him away. Instead, he was smiling at your flustered appearance.
“You look so cute when you blush!” Asmo said, making you blush even more. You normally didn’t have this reaction to Asmo and he adored it. He teased you about it a bit more before deciding to drop it. For now.
He now knew the trick to getting you to blush and you can be sure he’ll be using it every single chance he gets.
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Beel isn’t big on using his words. So, when he flirts, he prefers to use physical touch or actions to convey his emotions.
He wasn’t the one to go to if you wanted a lovey dovey speech about yours and his relationship. But, if you wanted a hug, he gave the best ones. If you just wanted to be held, his arms were always available. 
Beel was fine if you gave him a flirty comment or compliment. He may blush a little but he enjoyed being the target of your affections. As long as you followed it up with some form of physical contact.
The Devildom was having a food truck rally and Beel couldn’t be more excited. He invited you to come along with him. He wanted to try all of the different foods that were going to be offered and he wanted you to be his partner in crime.
You were the faithful accomplice, following Beel to each and every food truck that he wanted to try. Beel would smile as he offered to share each dish he got with you and in exchange, you would share what you got with him.
You finally made it to the last truck which happened to be a dessert truck. Beel looked at the menu, his eyes wide as he read the name of each item. You could tell that he couldn’t wait to get his hands on the sweet delicacies.
There was just one problem though.
A frown fell on Beel’s lips as he out-turned his pockets, realizing he didn’t bring enough Grimm. You gave him a small smile before offering to pay for dessert. You couldn’t let the Avatar of Gluttony leave without getting his fill of sweets.
Beel thanked you graciously before ordering everything he wanted. You ordered an ice cream and then joined Beel at the nearby table. You began eating your ice cream as Beel scarfed down the desserts he got.
When he was done, he looked at you and noticed that you had gotten a bit of ice cream on your cheek, near the corner of your lips.
Beel leaned in close, gently rubbing the ice cream off the corner of your lips with his thumb before licking it off. It looked too delicious to resist.
An intense blush rose to your cheeks at his actions and the two of you maintained eye contact. Noticing your reaction, Beel said, “Sorry, did you want that?”
You shook your head no and Beel smiled at you. “We should share food more often.”
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You and Belphie had a very playful relationship.
One flirty comment here, and another cheeky touch there. Anyone who didn’t know you would swear the two of you were in a relationship.
And that was just the way Belphie wanted it. He loved it when people looked at the two of you like you were together. Because that meant there were less and less people who were looking at you like you were for the taking.
But, there was always one thing that bothered Belphie; and, it was the way you always seemed particularly unbothered. No matter how flirty he was with you, whether it be by words or touch, you seemed to reciprocate his comments and actions without a moment of hesitation.
Belphie wanted you to melt, he wanted your heart to skip a beat. He wanted to make you flustered. And it was his goal to do so.
Belphie had decided to take you to a movie. The two of you sat in the back of the theater. It was perfect, because it provided entertainment and the perfect lighting. So if Belphie needed to take a nap, he could do so without anyone else noticing.
But, he couldn’t fall asleep. He was too focused on you. You looked amazing in this lighting and he enjoyed watching your reactions to each scene in the movie.
He did everything he could to be close to you. He would hold your hand or let his hand rest on your thigh. He would lay his head on your shoulder, his arm reaching over the armrest to wrap around your waist. You leaned into his touch, but kept your eyes trained on the movie.
Eventually, he got tired of fighting for your attention and sat up, whispering in your ear, “You know, we could go home. There’s about a hundred more interesting things I’d love to do with you that don't involve a movie.”
You turned to Belphie and locked eyes with him, noticing the intense look in his eyes. He was serious. Your heart sped up as you turned your attention back to the movie, your mind racing with thoughts as your body betrayed you by blushing furiously.
Finally. Belphie smirked as he looked at your nervous appearance. This is the reaction he was looking for and he was proud he finally achieved it.
“Are you flustered?” he teased and you blushed even more. “I’m paying attention to the movie,” you defended.
“Fine…we’ll talk about it after,” Belphie replied with a smile, snuggling into you. Tonight was going to be a long night.
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After getting to know Solomon a bit better, you quickly came to realize that he liked to flirt. And after all his years being alive, he was good at it. He enjoyed being close with you and calling things like his “adorable apprentice.”
He would use his magic to his advantage as much as he could. Were you feeling down? One magical touch later and he was handing you a bouquet of your favorite flowers. Missing the human world? He’ll bring you back up there for a quick trip.
Being as old as he is, he is a traditional flirt. He enjoys old-fashioned dates such as a candlelit dinner or going out dancing.
You enjoyed going out with Solomon and you loved flirting back with him. You would compliment him on how great of a sorcerer he is. You would tell him that you were glad he was the other exchange student that got brought to the Devildom.
The only thing you wouldn’t compliment him on was his cooking.
You were sitting across from Solomon at a dinner table in Ristorante Six. You and Solomon were having a nice date when he decided to try and take things a step further.
He leaned forward in his chair a bit and gently took your hand in his. You looked into his eyes and Solomon told you, “Everyone’s always fighting for your attention, and here you are on a date with me…I think I’ve fallen for you myself.”
Your heart skipped a beat as you noticed the sincerity in his eyes and you looked down, blushing deeply. Solomon smiled at your reaction and noticed how you didn’t pull away from him.
So, you only get nervous if he’s seriously flirting with you. Solomon takes note of the way you try to hide your smile and blush and can’t help but find it adorable.
In all his time, he’s never found someone he enjoys making flustered so much.
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Simeon was an angel so most people would assume that he was pure or innocent.
In your experience, neither of those were true. 
Simeon definitely upheld the angel title through his kind nature and good heart. But he was not innocent.
In fact, you got the impression from Simeon that he had some wild stories to tell. He was just waiting for the opportune moment to share them.
Simeon was polite when he flirted with you, complimenting you on your beauty and trying to make a genuine connection with you instead of trying to make more sensual advances.
But, that didn’t stop him from making a cheeky comment here and there. And it always took you by surprise. 
You flirted back, enjoying the way his red cheeks lit up his tan skin. You thought he looked even better when he was blushing like that.
Simeon agreed that there was something special about seeing someone you have affections for, nervous - their cheeks rosy. But, he wanted to see what that looked like on you.
You were taking a walk around the garden with Simeon. He stopped for a moment when he noticed a particular flower. He carefully picked it off the bush before turning to you. He gave you a smile as he gently tucked it behind your ear.
He frowned slightly when he pulled away and you furrowed your eyebrows. “What is it?” you asked him. Did the flower not compliment you?
“That’s the most beautiful flower in the Devildom and it still doesn’t compare to your beauty,” he replied.
His words hit you hard as you immediately began blushing. “Simeon,” you muttered, smiling at how smooth the angel was.
Simeon smiled back, finally able to see how you looked when you were flustered. He continued as if he didn’t do anything wrong, interlacing his fingers with yours as you finished your walk. 
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Diavolo was the ruler of the Devildom. Whatever he wanted he got, and what he wanted more than anything was you.
So, he did whatever he could to win your affections. If there was something you wanted, he would buy it as soon as he was able to step away from the castle and he would hand deliver it to you.
If there was somewhere you wanted to go, he insisted on being the one who took you. He wanted to be the one who got to see the ways your eyes lit up when you experienced something new for the first time.
You showered Diavolo in praise. Whenever he was feeling down or questioning his decisions, you were always there to assure him he was doing an excellent job and that he was a wonderful ruler.
Your words always stirred something within him. He never found someone he deemed fit to rule the Devildom beside him until he met you. A seemingly simple human.
He wanted to express his feelings for you. So, he invited you out to the balcony. The view overlooked the many lights of the Devildom that stretched out far away from you. It looked never-ending from here.
“Y/N, there is a reason I asked you out here,” Diavolo started, gathering up the courage to say what he wanted to.
You turned to face Diavolo, allowing him to speak without being interrupted. “I wanted to thank you,” he added, turning to face you as well now.
He stepped forward, gently cupping your cheek before telling you, “I would be lost without you.”
You blushed at Diavolo’s words as he maintained eye contact. “I-I haven’t done anything special,” you stuttered out, your mind clouded by his proximity. 
Diavolo let out a laugh as his hand dropped from your cheek to slide down your arm to interlace his hand with yours. “You’ll never know just how much you have done.”
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ghcstao3 · 7 months ago
Text
ghost—simon—doesn’t have too many good memories from his childhood. but something he’d always cherish and look back at fondly was the time his mum had gifted him and his brother a video game console one christmas, though they had both known, young as they were, that that was never something they really could have afforded at that time.
he remembers it so fondly because it brought memories of him and his brother crowded around a tiny television as simon played through games, tommy leaning on his shoulder and watching in awe. simon had never been the greatest at games, but in tommy’s eyes he’d been the very best. not much had united them at that point, nor would anything really for several years, but video games were their safe place. their escape. their chance to be children.
it was a tradition that grew with them. simon would do everything he could to get his hands on more games, got a job as soon as possible so they could never lose such a thing. it even carried into adulthood, once they’d both become men after various setbacks; just them, a game, and being happy.
simon remembers, when he finally relinquished control over games as a cause of tommy’s insistence, how often tommy would ask him to take over anyway because he couldn’t figure something out, couldn’t pass a level. even as an adult, though it happened less, it still happened.
the thought of that makes simon’s heart ache so deeply, because he really took those moments for granted.
which is why he finds himself freezing when, for the first time in a very long time, he hears the words from soap, asking one unassuming afternoon if lt, do you think you can help me with this puzzle?
in an instant he’s transported back to his childhood bedroom, late at night and so close to the tv he could nearly feel the static. him and tommy pulling out every strategy possible to figure something out.
the way soap stares at him when he comes to makes it obvious ghost will have to share his stories later, so he can make sense of ghost’s sudden tension—but for now, in the way soap has grown to know him, he grumbles out an affirmative, accepts the controller, and walks soap through the section.
maybe in some ways, he realizes, his brother still lives on.
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