#and im tired of hiding what i think
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I meeeean...they played "nada personal" by Soda Stereo in the end...and Gustavo Cerati (the lead singer) is the king and creator of s3x...so yes
I think Jaime Reyes just ended the "everyone is beautiful but no one is horny" curse because he 110% got laid at the end of that movie
#blue beetle#great movie#jaime reyes#gustavo cerati is sexy#and im tired of hiding what i think#all “cancion animal” is made for getting laid#except “te para tres”
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Interactive - Favorite Burp Scenario
I need something to take my mind off the fact that we are home to the dumbest, most bigoted fucking assholes on this planet, and I feel like a lot of you probably feel the same way right now. So, how about another interactive game? Send me character requests via my askbox here and I will respond with my favorite burp scenario to imagine for them. (Note, ideally, keep it to characters I know or that you think I may know)
#interactive post#community game#burping#burp kink#belly kink#i think back on all the movies where the president hides a horrible crime they committed years back#and how they carry out these horrid conspiracies to cover up the truth of their misdeeds#oh how fucking quaint that all feels right now#here in america?#you can incite an insurrection and get your freakass cult to storm the capitol on live television while erecting (lol) a gallows#the whole world can watch in horror#you can get indicted on 88 felony charges#convicted on 34 of them#your generals came come out and admit that you like hitler#and in a few years the people will just happily send you back#don't worry the media will treat you like a completely normal candidate and sane wash whatever crazy bullshit you say too!#because gat dammit groceries are just way too expensive#sure your own party and awful policies CAUSED prices to soar but it's not like the media will ever point that out when they conduct polls#also the same fucking idiots crowing about grocery prices hear trump's tariffs will cost them thousands more yearly and they're fine with i#im so fucking tired and i know you are too#just look out for your lgbtqia+ friends right now#they're gonna be hurting right now especially if they don't live in cali#and even cali's not some liberal fucking haven either#we just voted NOT to end slavery in this state!#like what the actual fuck?!#no seriously...what the actual fuck?#anyway look out for each other and try to keep your own corner of the world safe from maga's stink#and don't tune out either because they want to exhaust and beat you
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Something about how in chapter 4 of trc Adam is insecure about the fray on his second hand sweater, and how it's a symbol of his background and insecurities, and how most people don't notice it, and if they did, they didnt think better of him for it
And how Blue saw it immediately and it was something she liked about him, a girl too good at seeing the vulnerabilities of other people, but Adam didnt want someone to see his insecurities, didn't want someone to acknowledge that life
But Gansey did. Gansey needed someone to see him at his worst and love him for it, and blue did that
And how Adam needed someone to see him at his most unruly, and encouraged that
And Ronan makes Adam loud
#i love these ships sm. adam and blue were never going to work out because they needed different things out of a relationship#blue needed honesty. she needed someone who wouldnt try and hide from her or keep her seperate from their life#and adam didn't want someone who was always going to see what he tried to hide and would remind him of it#by virtue of coming from a similar place#gansey is always so strong for everyone and so repressed he didnt think he was ALLOWED to have bad days#and when he was vulnerable with blue instead of pushing him away she liked him more for it#while ronan looked at adam and *saw* him and then did not remind him of it#quite help in the background; treating him thr same as anyone else; showing him its okay to be wild and his life isnt defined#by the line between the poverty of love and money of his youth and his ambitions for the future#have i made a lick of sense#im tired and doint my second reread of the year#when will this series free me#shay posts#trc#trc brainrot#gansey my blorbo#the raven cycle#the raven boys#the dream thieves#blue lily lily blue#the raven king#gansey#bluesey#blue sargent#adam parrish#ronan lynch#pynch#richard gansey#richard campbell gansey iii
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there r a lot of things about the myth of psyche and eros that makes me a little insane but one of them has always been the tasks from aphrodite and the unfairness of it. they're not intended to be possible. they're so obviously not meant to be possible, and psyche isn't fucking hercules, you know, she's not a demigod or whatever, she's mortal and these aren't mortal tasks!! it's why psyche has to be helped with each one, fucking by like ants and river gods and shit. and so like. idk. i know ppl see psyche and eros as like a story about love and shit which obviously it is but as a kid psyche and eros always felt like a story about being able to accept help
#in my theoretical adaptation of psyche and eros i'll never write i emphasize this theme#by changing psyche from a princess and youngest daughter to a poorer girl and eldest daughter who is very like. sophie hatter esque#also tbh when i first started thinking about my theoretical adaptation of psyche and eros i was reading hmc LMAO#also also ALSO. as a kid i always felt like the story was soooo deeply about regret and atonement and forgiveness#like YES the story is about love but not about easy love. love is difficult and requires work and sometimes u hurt each other !!!!!#it always struck me as a kid how psyche just. accepts the tasks.#i always read it as like. psyche KNOWS these tasks are unfair and i dont even think she expects to achieve them#but she accepts them anyways because she so deeply regrets what she did to eros and has no idea what else she can do.#am i verbalizing this well or have the worms eating my brain reached an irreversible point#also tbf im pretty sure the version i read as a kid didnt include the multiple times psyche tries to kill herself LMAO.#but we're ignoring that because i love the idea that shes just. so aimless and resigned to the tasks#ALSO on eros' side of things#i dont have like proper analysis about it but as a kid i saw eros hiding his face as like. fear?#like. fear that the person he loves will think he's a monster if he reveals his true self. or somethin. which also. i think is very queer#also very beauty and the beast. for obvious reasons since it was based on psyche and eros lmao#oh also. i already mentioned it but psyche and hercules r so similar.#did something unforgivable to a loved one --> given multiple impossible tasks to atone for it etc etc#i dont have any real analysis abt it i dont remember a lot abt hercules tbh but. yah#ALSO. okay i think retellings of hades and persephone where theyre totally in love and stuff r kinda tired.#BUT. in the theoretical adaptation i always imagined a scene where psyche does the last task where she goes to the underworld#and shes tired shes soso tired#and she goes to persephone and persephone is gentle and motherly which aphrodite has Not been to psyche#and i think if persephone is unkidnapped and truly in love w hades#then i think there could be a fun parallel between persephone and psyche in which like. theyre both in love w ppl#who are seen as monsters. and shit. or whatever#anyways. idk what made me think abt this again. ACTUALLY i do know i might write a twine for the neotwiny game jam#and it might be inspired by psyche and eros#anyways. lmao#jc.txt
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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shout out to "concerning" people.
shout out to people with low empathy. to people who arent disgusted by violence or "immoral" things. shout out to people who do not fall within the bounds of "acceptable". shout out to people who are made to feel like they were born wrong. like theyre missing something everyone else has.
#cipher's squawks#this is; of course; not about me! because if it was that would make me an “undesirable”! and i cant be “undesirable”! because that means-#-unloveable! who would ever want to spend time with a freak like that!#of course my acceptance hinges on something completely harmless! something that im “too smart for”! ofc i have to swallow the feelings i-#-dont have in order to be accepted! of course i have to hide the things i dont read; dont think about; dont consider; to be accepted!#this is the way the worlds supposed to be!#/sarcasm#im sorry i cant be what you want me to be.#im sorry i cant hide it well enough. im sorry you have to see everything you hate about me.#im sorry i cant ever be good enough to balance it out.#im sorry i cant be the type of sane and happy you think i should be#im so. so tired
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wowowow.... im the luckiest person alive rn
#we went out to a show friday night and it just felt so natural being out with him#and then we housed some chinese food together and watched an episode of next gen#and then we were up in his room fooling around before bed and we were both soooo tired#like drifting in and out of consciousness#and hes sitting over me about to lean down and kiss me but i cupped his face in my hands and we just sat like that for a while#and i know i was not hiding the emotion on my face bc i saw his face change immediately#and he asked me what i was thinking and i said something to the effect of 'im just looking at you and thinking oh wow'#and he said 'i dont think thats the word youre thinking of' and i told him he was right#and i wish i could remember more of the conversation. but its also kind of cool that the whole thing was like a dream#but eventually we both just said we loved each other#its just crazy how natural its been. how easy it is#and then i went over again last night because neither of us was going out and i just sat and read while he worked on his pedalboard#and i was in my stupid catdog pajamas. and then we ate pasta and watched music videos in bed and brushed our teeth together#and it was just so. comfortable and playful and casual and normal#just sharing a space without any expectation
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Heartstopper Season 2 Spoilers
Heartstopper season 2 was perfect, and Alice Oseman is a cinematic and literature genius but I would like to take a few moments to draw some attention to.....
This boy right here.
(look how sweet he is omg)
I can't get over Isaacs arch in heartstopper, especially in season 2.
Ace representation is so few and far between as it is, and good representation is even more scarce, but having that sort of representation at the forefront of a show? And having it accurately depicted, and not infantilized? Showing the complexities of it? Basically unheard of. But Holy Fuck did Alice Oseman deliver.
At the end of season 2 he is just finding out what aro/asexuality is and reading up on it. He knows it exists and he knows that it applies to him. And he faced some of the difficulties of being aro/ace with James and with the isolation and feeling like he's not interesting unless he has a romantic interest, these are all very real and not commonly talked about things that people have experienced.
And oh my god was it euphoric to see on screen.
Growing up and watching all your friends have crushes and get into relationships and fawn over people and never experiencing that same thing is so isolating. Even in accepting environments and in good friend groups (as seen on the show) it always feels like your an odd one out, and outsider, etc.
So the scene where Isaac goes "I think their might be something wrong with me.", that hits home to so many people who grew up not understanding why they were different.
I've talked about on here before why labels are so important to people, and this is a perfect example of it. You can learn to accept yourself and love yourself and be completely self confident but if there's something fundamentally different about you, there's always going to be a voice in the back of your head reminding you of that. Learning a label, or a word, that represents something that you might have already accepted as something that's a character flaw, there's no word to describe it, it's so relieving. It means there are people like you who have lived to create that label, it means your not alone with it, it means you have a community.
And having this shown on tv, especially at a time like now where people are trying to cover up anything that reminds people that LGBT people exist, is going to tell so many kids that there is nothing wrong with them, and they're not defected, and they're not broken.
And Isaacs whole arch (even thought it's not completed) handled this perfectly. Because there were moments that shows that Isaac is in some ways separate from the group. They love him, but he's different, they care about him, but he doesn't have a romantic interest, so his presence isn't as acknowledged.
And I think that in Season 3 (assuming theres going to be a season 3) we're going to get to see this expanded on. We might get to see Isaac coming out to the rest of the group, and learning how to cope with not having access to something that a lot of people say is what makes people human.
Heartstopper is such an amazing show and Alice Oseman is incredible. The cast is incredible. Everything about everything about that production is incredible.
(now for another picture of my son)
#This is a heartstopper blog now#ik heartstopper is kind of seen as a kiddy show to a lod of older gays but this show has been so healing to me#and shows like this that are very like#well known#and get a lot of views and stuff#9 cant remember the word for it rn#even though we are where we're out with the lgbt things#like i said there are a lot of people who still want to hide certain identities from kids#and asexuality is one of them#representation is so important no matter how far weve come#idk what im saying rn im so tired#anywho#i fucking love this show#isaac henderson#heartstopper s2#heartstopper#heartstopper spoilers#max thinks shes relevant
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#im tired and everything hurts#im alone here and i don't have enough energy to even sustain myself let alone reach out#reaching out rarely works anyway#...everything hurts so much and I've pushed through so much and it all still feels so.....brittle#like it could be torn from my grasp at any moment#and what even is it anyway#ostensibly i have it better than a lot of others#.....but im utterly miserable almost all the time#ive a death grip on this horrid existence claws sunk in so deep you'd think it was gold#but all I'm clinging to is more misery day after day after day without end#.............i don't see an end#i don't have any damn hope that anything will truly get better#I'll just....keep shoving my way through awful pain and misery for whatever rest of my life exists#................i don't even know why I'm doing this anymore#every inch of me is screaming to just curl up in a ball and stop interacting with the world and i just want to hide away and cry and#ffuck everything is so lonely i don't know what to do i can't do anything goddamnit#ii can't it's so hard everything is so fucking hard and it hurts and i just#.......f-fuck i just want someone to hold me for a few minutes and tell me it'll be worth it#fuck. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck#...........I'm so fucking tired#..........i just want to stop.......
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Ignore
#delete later#in typical birthday fashion i am now exhausted snd overwhelmed and battling a meltdown#i stubbed my toe and now cant put any fucking weight on it#im exhausted from performing appropriate birthday excitement. i dont think i understand birthdays correctly#to me the only relevance of ppls birthday is that i can show that i care about them and give gifts that make them happy or#spend time with them. other than that its just a day. in my head my birthday is just a day but it's a day rhat im expected to be#ecstatic over. i dont understand that. i spend the day worried im not feeling the correct feelings or displaying them right#and worried bc the normal day routine is broken and im anxious bc i don't know what will happen#too much uncertainty. abd rhat anxiety makes me feel guilty. but at the same time bc to me birthdays are avout showing the#person that you care. if everyone ignored it i would start to assume they dont care. idk how to fix my brain on this#at least its only once a year. plus the whole still being alive at 24 thing freaks me out. so when i inevitably have my#meltdown or shutdown it comes with not fun things#i get the same way at christmas except its slightly more socially acceptable for me to hide at christmas.#meltdowns make me angry abd emotional so i know im being a bitch in my head but logic is hard so im just upset and angry#and confused on how im supposed to feel and act. i fucking hate my brain.#i have ordered good comfort food abd have weighted blanket abd new piercing. life is okay#i dont want to see mu parents this weekend but it will be what it will be. im so fucking tired
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Please share this. this will be worse than DDos attack.
In 4 days a bill is going to be voted on in congress called KOSA.
The KOSA law and EARN IT act could get Anime and Manga banned in the US. Due to it having “gore and violence”
It’ll also ban fanfics and any mature content.
The bill is being disguised as a way to protect minors but it will ban all of this for ALL of us.
To stop this please please look that the link I’m sharing. The link allows you to email your state representatives, after if you submit your phone number you will get a call that will connect you to all your representatives offices, you will get a script all you have to do is read off what is said.
Let them know you are NOT okay with this! Last year we just BARELY got this bill denied. Congress is trying again this year. SPEAK UP!
Please please take this seriously. If this passes. The anime community will be DONE.
https://www.badinternetbills.com/
I got this awhile ago and wanted to put the time into actually writing a response but then a bunch of personal shit happened and I think I've been on Tumblr maybe once or twice this past 2 week for only a few minutes. My stuff isn't important, but this is going up for discussion today and it needs to be stopped as soon as possible. I've already contacted my representatives (even though i dont think it'll change the minds of mine i live in an extremely red area in an extremely red state so fun times) and have signed petitions and it's important to try to do something even if you think it won't work. KOSA will not end well for anyone and will effect everyone. Please do your own research and contact your representatives as this will do everything BUT protect kids online as it actively will censor anyone they want to censor and take away protections that are already in place for minors. Kids safety my ass 😒. There's also the EARN IT bill that is equally as important go get denied as it will get rid of end to end encryption as we know it. Please do what you can to help stop these bills from passing.
#stop kosa#earn it act#KOSA#kids online safety act#online#online protection#id like them to stop please#these bills are bullshit#there to protect children my ass#this is why theyre saying aliens are real#like not to say i dont believe in aliens#i do#the universe is basically infinite itd be hard for there not to be something somewhere#but i think the us government is full of shit#but what else is new#god im so tired#i mean there are literal documents that say the us gov does this whenever theyre trying to hide something#i hate it here#but im still going to fight for my right to be here on my own terms#online or in person#no one gets to decide where i belong or if I should leave#only i get to decide that
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looking at the scar on my arm everyday feels like a reminder im never going to be ok, im never going to be human i ruined it after all the years i held myself back i finally severed the line i had at any chance of one day belonging
#ill never be able to roll up my sleeve i have to be extra on guard 24/7 i just make everything worse n worse n worse#i feel grosser everyday#i am more consumed by rot everyday#there will be nothing left#i cant sleep im just stuck laying here and Thinking#i feel like im filled with sticky gravel and nothing else#i am so deeply unclean no matter what i do ill never be clean#i will never have a place#i will never be safe#i can only hide i will never be able to exist like i yearn to#i wonder if i ever did have a chance#i never could even as a kid#even as a toddler i was always scared i was always miserable#i dont think i was meant 2 live#i keep thinking i can but its too much#im too tired#its too scary its too much energy#i dont know how#even if i got the job from that email id just get worse id just feel worse#i cant exist socially i dont know how#id just be a boring mute mess everyone hates and id feel awful n get worse like i always have#how i always end up isolating instead because i dont know how to exist#i dont know how to be a person#and it feels awful#it hurts#i have always just told myself if only i can get thin enough maybe ill be easier to deal with as a cope#maybe ill take up less space n be less of an annoyance to everyone#if i have nothing to offer maybe i can just. vanish#maybe people would like me#maybe i could belong
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#really really hate how thoughtless and oblivious i can be to my own bad behavior#ill know something is important or that a shouldn't do a particular thing#but over time and assumptions and small acts of carelessnes shit just....fades and accumulates and one day#i look up and ive done something very stupid and hurt someone else#and i didn't feel it happening#my mind will take things and hide them from me is what it feels like. ill know they're there but it fades into the background noise#i am hard on the things in my life including people and relationships. and i am always so vulnerable to my own fuckin lmfao inattentivenes#this is why i struggle so much with the idea of ever having an intimate partner or children. it doesn't matter how much i care.#eventually and inevitably i do damage.#and i know consciously that people make mistakes and all you can do is try to course correct and make it right. but it's better#not to hurt anyone in the first place and i really don't know if i will ever be capable of that.#trying to convince myself this kind of shit is growing pains but man. man. i can't stop being what i am and it really#really feels sometimes like i am just destined to break and neglect#but then that ''im broken'' thing feels like trying to dodge around taking responsibility and improving. and i should be better than that.#but god how tf are you supposed to stop dissociating from the reality of what you're doing when you're. dissociated.#all i can ever think to do is isolate#*sigh* guys i think i might need to graduate to therapy with a trauma specialist#or adjust my medication. god. im so tired.#why is it so gd hard to be a normal decent person. it doesn't seem hard but then
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well to be honest guys. ive noticed that my opinion of myself is not very good
#txt#i see literally no value to what im good at i dont think im good at anything Really#i cant find worth in what im doing and i feel like no one else does either. im constantly just living like im hiding whats inside of me#and that if i tried to do the things i want to do id suck so bad everyone wpuld find out ive just been hiding in plain sight#and like ive talked about this w my therapist and ive journaled about this and i externalize these thoughts and still. its all i think about#like i see people my age doing amazing things i see people being so creative ans good at what they do and then theres me.#and like. idk. whatever. but you know? like i literally am just tired of feeling the way i do about myself but i dont know how to stop so.#might delete this later might not but just one of those moments where i want 2 be seen with what i feel and whatever
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#me? about to use tumblr as a diary again? in 2024? unfortunately:/#but here have a waterfall i saw on a hike last week as payment#i am sO tired and exhausted emotionally after dating#there's this guy that i fr thought was going to last and be around for a long time. we spent like every moment together that we could for 2#months straight and if we werent physicaly together we were texting or calling or on ft . just every part of our day had the other in it#not once did i ever feel unwanted undesired or uncared for. not once did i feel that i wasnt sure of his intentions. i felt safer with him#in those 2 months than i ever did with any one else i could think to compare to.#until one day he just didnt think it important to communicate any more. after 3 days of nearly nothing .. hardly any talking . i asked if#he was ok if we were ok. what was going on in his head. he said some ive just been with my buddies and family and havent been on my phone#and just. immediately thats heartbreak yanno. thats :// thats what they say when theres a new girl. but there'd never been a reason to think#there was another girl so i was like ok we're gonna trust bc this dude has been So good in every way. so i said imy but i understand. enjoy#your time with your buddies and with your fam -- i cant wait to hear about it (and hold you)#and i havent heard from him in the 3 weeks since. just randomly#so last night#i send the dreaded 'i miss you' text.#i dont expect to hear back and i accept the hurt that will come with that and the confusion that i've felt settles deeper into my heart#until this afternoon i hop on ig and see a hard launch that was posted an hour after my text was sent#that shit kinda hurt different. but also sent me into a bit of a delirious state where all i could do is laugh bc are you for fucking real#did she see my message? i know it. bc i know him and i know that he wouldnt hide anything from the person he's giving his heart#and his softness to. i can almost imagine how he showed her and promised her theres nothing to worry about#and there really isnt anything to worry about because he genuinely is the type to give his all to the relationship he's in#which feels silly to say after what happened w us. like no there wasnt a title ever#it sucks to call it a situationship because a month ago we were laughing in bed together about how we could never bc we were all in.#just the timing of the hard launch makes me giggle. did my text push them to have a conversation about what they are. was she really the#reason that he went away on me.#im trying not to blame myself . trying not to think about the phone calls i didnt answer. about what i could have done differently. trying#not to think about where we would be if i didnt let my anxieties hold me back. if i wasnt scared about what he'd think of the parts of me#that i keep hidden just a little bit longer than the rest.#and at the same time im trying not to put him on a pedestal. but that pedestal is just where i wholeheartedly believe he belongs#he set the bar for me. he set the standard. i was never too much. i was never too little. he made me feel perfect just as i am
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ive written a number of thasmin scenes that echo the 12x7 "ive been where you are" and sea devils beach scene from a number of slightly different angles on yazs emotional position in it, but what i havent done yet is give it a fleabag "it'll pass" sorta vibe where we repurpose "moments change" to turn it into an expression of disillusionment
#am i making sense#thinking of karvanista's 'i wouldve done anything for you'#and of yazs headspace in this fic im writing which is not quite at this point#or more accurately. not deeply at this point. superficially it's close but in the foundation she still loves the doctor#thats where the frustration comes from#but she is very tired and not hiding it 'i adjusted my expectations ages ago'#but like it's not too hard to imagine pushing yaz to a place where this exhaustion is not just like the surface expression of the fear of#losing the doctor#but instead goes down deeper than that and turns out to actually be this realisation that maybe she'd prefer losing the doctor#you know what i mean?#future yaz meeting present yaz and being like 'ive been where you are (in love with her still). moments change'#present yaz being half 'can you promise?' and half 'i'll never be you'#'i'll never be you' <- curse/blessing. despair/resistance#very much echoing 13s attitude to 15 in this fic#i wonder if i could write another sequel with yaz like that#i dont think so but it'd be cool#despair/resistance really feels like. thesis statement of yaz and 13 a little bit#theyre an anti-suicide pact and theyre also a shared self-destruction
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