#and im nineteen still
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i want to go places but i also want to go to uni
#gadu gadu stary dziadu#but its winter and im broke#i want to study i want to know things i want to know i want to#but also i cant imagine myself past twenty#and im nineteen still#and its winter#i dont know where to go#post said where do i go next now only time will tell
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gay dads in dumb cosplay and their teenaged son who makes fun of them
#i am so fascinated by James's relationships with other characters#he sees this specific nightcrawler as a son#he sees kitty as another child of his#he says his scott is only nineteen and threatens to kill him#but the context is so???? i cant help but imagine he's saying it somewhat jokingly#like his scott is snippy and rebellious (but not an actual killer like the scott he's talking to in the scene)#anyway. im fascinated because i think it's interesting to see the relationships the xmen usually have#taken apart and rearranged in other universes#where you can still see the core of what makes those relationships interesting — usually the deep care and love#they show for each other#but recontextualizing it into new forms#idk im stewing in hcs for governor james howlett#and it's funny to imagine him talking to logan like#what do you MEAN you and scott Had A Thing. AND WITH HIS WIFE TOO?#(gov. james howlett whos been in a monogamous gay relationship for so long he's baffled by logan being poly / bi)#logan counting off how many of the xmen hes slept with / been romantic with while james is like#hercules and I have been in a secret relationship for the last fifty years. how do you have the energy for this logan.#herculett
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The real problem with the writing team for rvb is nobody has any GODDAMN RAGE in their heart about what the military does to people
#i went through NINETEEN YEARS of that shit and im SO FUCKING MAD#WHERES YOUR ANGER. WHERES YOUR RAGE. RISE RISE RISE#they still fucking decide if you're overweight by CIRVUMFERENCE. do you KNOW how stupid that is#they make traumatized people and kick them to the curb so they can traumatize their kids into being so desperate to leave they join up#then you dont know how to do SHIT for yohrself#taxes. savings. cooking. nothing!#rvb#nonsense thoughts
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ouaaaaaghhh i've been on a bit of a pokemon binge lately......... i should crack open my old pokemon games and take a peek at my teams :,) i wish i still had my old copy of conquest and black 2 though............ :(
#gu6chan's musings#im so sad because literally ALL my pokemon games i've had as a teen i still have#up to sun and moon which i got on christmas when i was NINETEEN lmao!!!#but yeah pokemon was technically my first fandom ig???? i used to watch my brother play pokemon yellow and crystal a lot when i was TINY#but i never ACTUALLY played pokemon or video games in general myself until my older sister surprised me with my first video game console#and video game when she came up from florida 😭 a black dsi with pokemon black; i was 13 and my dad HATED her for it like 'Why are you#giving her videogames??? she's a girl :/' BUT I HAD IT!!!! MY FIRST EVER POKEMON GAME THAT BELONGED TO MEEEEE#i loved the SHIT out of that game and then got black 2; soulsilver and platinum; pokemon conquest; got the 3ds games...#i still have platinum/soulsilver as well as all the mainline 3ds games i believe#but conquest; black; and black 2 i lost :( literally my FAVOURITES i took them everywhere with me (which is why i lost them lmao)#funny enough i know exactly where black 2 IS though; its in the pocket of a jacket i owned but lost back between 2013-2014???#if i find the jacket it will 100% be in there; i just couldn't find the jacket and tbh idek if its still around anymore or is in storage#but if it is!!!! i'll literally cry lmao#black 2 is where i got my first level 100 pokemon; a magneton....... i ADORED that little bastard ouaaaghh....#i dont believe i ever managed to get past the league in black 2 though bc i remember being so pissed i couldnt get to see the other side of#the map beyond castelia city lmao#14-15 years old and i STILL didn't believe in stat moves 😭 i deserved to get shot#But fun fact: I DID get a new copy of Black a few years back!!! only it 1. already had save data on it and 2. it was full of rare/hacked#legendaries young me could only ever DREAM of having so i can't get myself to restart the save data even though i rlly want to.......#oh but funny enough!!! i also still have the 14 y/o dsi i was gifted back then; it still works though the battery cover is missing so you#have to hold it lol#but aaaaa so many fond memories of playing black and black 2... black 2 especially since i never really got to finish it lol#like#i finished the main CAMPAIGN with plasma and ghetsis trying to fucking kill you and all that (Something which i remember being so :0!!!?!?!#when i first saw it omgggg its such a clear memory aaaa) but i think like#i got up to the league and could never beat it........ so i just went back to training my mons till i got a level 100 magneton lmao#so many good memories; i hope i can get copies of black 2 and conquest again someday...
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Guys my birthday is tomorrow…..please end me
#im gonna be nineteen#what the actual fuck#idk how I made it this far tbh I’m barely holding on#life has become a waiting game at this point#also I looked through my atom heart father docs and realize it’s been….ten months since I started the project…..idk how to feel about it#on the one hand I’m proud and honestly shocked I stuck with it for this long#on the other hand it’s humiliating that I’ve been working on it for that long and still have gaps in some of the most crucial parts#and the parts at the beginning are full of gaps and overall a fucking mess#and i know it’s just a matter of time before i give up on this too yknow?? and im already losing interest#so it’s kind of like what’s the point?? in a way#idk idk idk#jjba#personal#text post#long tags#brainrot.txt
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Real question. You are in a room with Ghost and Miguel. Both of them are into you, staring you down, waiting for you. But you can only choose one. Who do you pick to be your forever man?
sitting with a bigass smile on my face and nothing else (yes i mean that)
why take one when i can take both (i can)
#asks#rsr asks#rwys asks#in all honesty im at least a decade younger than both of them and ghost and Miguel are good enough men to not go after a nineteen year old#LMAO#i think miguel would be easier to woo#but i still cant decide
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So instead of writing the last five hundred words of chapter one I
Played with my dog emma
Took a shower because my hair was gross and it made my skin scrawl everytime I touched it
Realized I havent eaten since ELEVEN AM and made two sandwiches
Said sandwiches got stuck on the toaster tray because I was dumb and didn't spray it with cooking spray so I had to spend five minutes trying to pry those fuckers off with a spatula without ruining them
Brain will literally do anything besides WRITE
#idk how im still alive#forget to eat for hours forget to drink for HOURS#how I survived nineteen years is a mystery
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oh my god the chapter count has been updated
#NINETEEN MORE CHAPTERS#ITS NOT ENOUGH#tbh i dont think anything will ever be enough i really love this fic more than life itself#im not ready for it to end yet#oh my god its updating tmrw#im like genuinely nervous#im gonna sob when it ends i just know it#i hope zar still loves writing fics after the way he was treated#crimson rivers#zeppazariel
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my computer has been rlly slow maybe it has smthng to do with the fact that ive had ~14 medibang tabs open for weeks on end. or maybe its nothing :)
#im not usually a 14 tabs guy but i need them. i need all these wips and references open for minimum friction against me finishing them#i need this 3800x3000px ref page w 19 (nineteen) different screenshots of human dissections open. for my overly detailed violence image#still not enough refrence btw i STILL havent found a good enough blood ref. mad#i post so little for some1 w SO MUCH going on under the hood. so many images in my mind so little on the screen#og post
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i think if you live in a country for 20 years you should learn the language of where you’re living like is that really too much to ask. if it’s just a few whatever. fine. but TWENTY????? twenty years and with the original purpose of studying the country’s history???? and all you speak is english…… fuck off!
#vagueposting but for historians#anyway im not gonna vaguepost his name is#william dalrymple and he lived in india for 20 years !!!!!!!! maybe still does idk and studies the impact of colonialism and imperialism on#india specifically 2 do with the east india company and like. still cant be fucked to learn one indian language???????#like how fucked is that. sir u are a white scottish man. in india. learn a fucking language#and like LISTEN i can only speak english (<- going 2 remedy this) but i am nineteen and not studying a culture that isnt mine????
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Guys maybe this one isn't legitimate 🤔
#if youre legitimate why do you need NINETEEN DIFFERENT ACCOUNTS#even if someone was desperate im not sure theyd be THAT desperate when ALL OF THEM are still active!!#it's crazy cuz theyve got such a fleshed out linktree but their tumblr behavior screams scam#current events
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First of oktober? Surely you must be joking
#sham!s rambles#get to make a new monthly playlist#have to go shopping in the inner city and also pack because I'm travelling back to croatia until sunday.....#birthdays in 3 days what the fuck is going on#actually im not freaking out because ill still be nineTEEN but trust me when 20 hits ill lose it
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anyways the other day when i went out with my friend and stayed out far later than i usually do i came to the realization that i dont actually have a curfew anymore and its mind boggling
#i technically didnt have a curfew before either but my parents always said to be home by 1 am or dont come home at all#not in a 'we're locking you out' kind of way but in a 'if you come home and make boise while everyone is asleep there WILL be consequences#and like i can respect that since my prents room is right next to the front door#and in the end i would always be home around 10 bc MY friends had curfews#and like man i came home the other day and it was almost 12#ive never done that before#i was like taking out my keys to go in and it hit me that like i just? sont have a curfew?#i can go home whenever??#either my brothers awake gaming or hes at work so it litwrally doesnt matter???#it was bizzare like im just allowed to do that now? and no one can stop me???#like idk lately i havent really been feeling my age#i kind of still feel nineteen you know?#not even 18 bc 2020 was not a real year lmao i think my brain skipped that year entirely#like man in almost 22#thata wild#i never imagined mysef getting to this age not in a bad way but like#idk ive never known anybody in their 20s you know?????#people were either my age or still in school like k-12 or they were 30 and above#like i dont know what to expect for this decade of my life? which no one knows what to wxpect and we're all at different paces but like?#its like my whole life has been step1. be a child step 2. be a child in school step3. Prepare For College#step4. college :D you have made your parents proud step5.?????????????#step 6. congratulations you are now an adult 🥳🥳#like does this make sense#ive never really considered my life beyond school bc my entire life HAS BEEN school so jn this nebulous area of my life where im in school b#but also like 80% of the way to independence and im about to graduate and no longer be in school#and get a career and make money and get groceries and pay bills and like idk exist as an independent member of society#idk man its a lot! it is 9 pm i should stop thinking so much actually#michi tag
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September 23rd Kawa bunga baybe
#its 2023 and im still not over the barakamon cafe 'oh big size' kawafuji art card#so funny.#GASP i havent drawn u sir since TWENTY NINETEEN#MY MAN. and its not technically his birthday yet but if i dont post this right now this instance#i fear i'll forget tomorrow#and kawafuji RAN so mackyle could not fly no. but become GOD#i salute you kawafuji*salute emoji*#omg okay recently i dug up my old sketch books and oh my GOD in like. the one. every single page almost had kawafuji on it.#like i didnt remember drawing THAT many kawafujis but i guess i did#it's what he deserves.#ok the thing about like problematic favs is all my favs are problematic for the most part EXCEPT u can#usually like. find something to defend them with.#as for kawafuji? hes the exception to that rule. like he is literally just a jerk and asshole and an all around jackass#and THATS WHY WE LOVE HIM. with him its like. lol nah hes just fucking terrible . love that for him#i bet he proceeded to spill his drink on handas manuscript. oh big size indeed.#i wonder what hes drinking. i feel like kawafuji would enjoy an orange fanta. not sure why#but i just feel like he would.#barakamon#kawafuji takao#takao kawafuji#also i like hmmm wanted to draw him better but im super fatigued bc im 1. still reelin in my severe pain episode#2. my allergies are acting up as they do this time of year and oh my god. makes it hard to focus.#plus it makes my pain worse and allegra also makes me delirious SLEEPY. but im too much pain to actually sleep#only slept 3 hours last night :^/#and like 3rd reason is. bc. im. too busy drawing my forde bday pic. sigh#SO THIS WILL HAVE TO DO its better than nothing. its been so long since ive doodled him. i love kawafuji#i cant believe i used to be able to draw his tattoos without reference bc i drew him so much. like i cant do that anymore#but back in the Day i remembered#You Know I Had Takao It To Him
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im not in fandoms, all my blorbos are home-grown and organic
#no thoughts except my ocs. forever.#sdfdhjjs its so funny bc i see my friends hop interests like 80 times and im still here. entertaining myself with my funny guys.#after almost 2 years#im like the kid at daycare playing with toys alone in the corner or smth#i just dont have the brainpower to keep up with new things . im an old man at the ripe age of nineteen
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wow 5 new cast members thats kind of insane for a versus shooter comparatively
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