#why the fuck did my brain do that?????
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thinking
#jc’s cawing#retj thinking to be exact#its infecting my brain again tbh#not my main interest but its there#ive kinda been flipping through a bunch of different ones recently then coming back to them#its on and off all the time but anyways#thinking about old server stuff#probably one of the happiest and most depressing parts of my life#the amount of times ive laughed because of that damn server is astonishing#and then there was the horrible gut wrenching fixation#why the fuck did my brain do that?????#im never stepping foot into a server again unless someone specifically asks me to#actually yknow what im opening discord rn#jester notification jumpscare#i am NOT talking to it 😭😭🙏🙏#what in tarnation is that status bro#ROBERT SEAN LEONARD WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE??????#oh my god im so fucking dumb that what dps stands for#its dead poets society oh my god 😭😭😭#rsl my bbg#need him BAD!!!!!!!!!#squealing oh my god hes so !!!!!!!!!!!!#hamilton mention what the fuck#giggling#I SHOULD NOT BE LAUGHING AT THIS BUT I AM 😭😭 im a horrible person actually oh my god#MY PRAYERS WERE ANSWERED TOO LATE LMAOOOO 😭😭#how is mwb still alive what#actually last message was nineteen days ago so i guess it isnt#ok im done
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need to share an experience i had 30 minutes ago
(edit: thanks to @walks-the-ages for providing and reminding me to put alt text, sorry it slips my mind alot lol)
#my hands are still shaking to be quite honest i could not put a lot of effort into this.#but like. brain. why did you do that#literally i have been like hopelessly obsessed with de nonstop thinking abt it for the past couple of days it is Scaring me#it is terminal its soooo fucking chronic#disco elysium#kim kitsuragi#for anyone who wants to know i bumped into some guys car that was stopped for a school bus. i think my brain errored and thought#my foot was fully pressing down on the brake pedal but it wasnt.#i am like 99.99 percent sure neither of us had any major damage to our cars but we still filed a police report just in case#because insurance do be a bitch. dudes back bumper was scratched lightly and my front license plate has a dent now#also literally my first ever car accident that ive had ever yippee yay
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mourning black and the death of ideals
#i haven't moved on from this yet. btw. i'm still here#finally decided to draw the thought i've been ruminating over for days on end bc it's like a parasite eating away my brain#stated this on the initial post i made days ago but there's just smt so gut wrenching and sickening#about how dazai will have worn black exactly twice in his life: once as a member of the mafia and now at kunikida's funeral#a color that initially signified devotion to the mafia and his demon prodigy alias now signifies his grief#him having to wear black again at the funeral of another doomed fatalist who chose his heart over his survival. his own partner.#kunikida's death being so reminiscent of the tragedy that initially caused him to defect and flee#and everything tying together full circle and effectively breaking him#asagiri rly said fuck knkdz it's doppover we lost gang 😭😭😭#why did bro leave that fucking notebook behind#fool. do you know that angst potential you have left me to work with?#love never won in bsd. it lay dead and festering#i don't know how much longer i can keep saying i miss them. i'm going to kill myself if he doesn't come back#i've never wanted something to be death bait so desperately#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#kunikidazai#knkdz#kunizai#(??? technically. its implied anyway)#lotus draws
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EDIT: someone wrote a fic based off of this and im holding you all at gun point to read it rn
i did noooottt mean for this to be as long as it is lmao!! I LOVE THESE PINK BITCHES !!!!!
and their. questionable father
#dreamworks trolls#trolls band together#trolls#viva#poppy#doodling#ive been debating whether i should write fic or draw comics bc the royal pop fam has been invading my brain ever since#i watched the movies. but i decided i do what i want so why not both#. so maybe expect something similar in ao3 if i ever get off my butt to finish that#OR MORE COMICS YIPPIEEEEEE#its also so funny bc i did write this first but then shit just got longer the more i worked on it I YAP TOO MUCH SO FUCK IT THE SISTERS#DO TOO
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[ID in alt text, transcripts for comics also found there!]
🎉🎇HAPPY NEW YEAR!🎇🎉
Sure was a year...This is just me taking the end of year opportunity to post the various DC comics doodles that have been gathering dust in my files! Disclaimer that I'm a heathen who mostly reads batfam comics (and also a lot of. Sidekick-y stuff? Like YJ98) and these are all for fun! (Image #3 is a direct adaptation of this text post I made)
#dc comics#dc#cassandra cain#damian wayne#roy harper#lian harper#cassie sandsmark#maya ducard#flatline dc#kathy branden#...im hesitant to tag steph bc i feel like everytime i tag her the post refuses to show in her tag#stephanie brown#anyway yeah uhhh recently bought the yj98 omnibus (IT'S FUCKING HUGE) so that's why cassie redesign#years and years ago i posted a draft of a cassie redesign that's like. similar to what i have but i vastly prefer this version#OH!#i forgot to tag stephcass :(#whoopsie#but yeah i did a lot of steph reading this year (STILL SO MUCH TO DO) and ouughh boy. she's had her claws in my brain ever since#damian and dick are there. nough said#<- I'm extremely mentally ill about them there's just still a lot for me to read. i have nightwing rebirth with them! and some early b&r 09#also robin 2021 issue. 4? i wanna say? the one where dick gives damian his bday present. makes me cry like a pressure washer#also I'm so sorry if I've somehow managed to (in my extremely limited presentation of them) present roy and lian as ooc in anyway#I've only read arsenal 1998 bc it was a mini. hit or miss but it did imprint a love of roy and lian on me#I'm only semi following the current green arrow run rn mostly for those 2#(also sidenote the guy who writes current GA is ALSO writing B&R AND SUPERMAN??? AND A G.I JOE COMIC????-#-girl say what you want about his work it's a miracle any of it is comprehensible at all w/ all those titles going on)#(he said he's not sure how long he'll stay on GA tho. I'm also low-key not sure how long he'll stay on B&R-#-though i imagine it'll be at least a years worth bc he said that's how much notes he has for plot? also idk if many other writers at dc-#-are interested in damian rn especially next to Bruce)#HOO this got away from me I'm outta tags. uhhhh see u guys in 2014! woo!
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Dream is a total wanker, and I don't even want to mention him on my blog really, but I honestly could never fucking forget the "WHY has GRIAN, who in my opinion is not great at PvP, killed me at least 8 times in PVP games, yet I have NEVER finished ahead of him in buildmart". Still the funniest fucking shit ever
#he sucks so bad but he is also such a fucking clown#i do not know how anyone can take this guy seriously. he's like a 14 year old fr but hes like 24 i think#the buildmart rant will forever be engraved in my brain. WHY did GRI-#shitpost#idk i should probably tag for like dream mention#cw dream#yea
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I can't....
I can't stop thinking about them man.
Fucking hell!
Fucking shit!
This is bullshit!
Look at this two identical trains!
I can't get them out of my head😭
Like seriously...
I'm supposed to be thinking about platonic DC x reader! Not platonic Emmet/Ingo x reader 😭😭😭 What have you done to me?!?!
#crossover#dc x reader#Emmet And fucking Ingo#Emmet and Ingo#Pokemon#Platonic yandere#Emmet x reader#Ingo x reader#The fuck did you do to me?!?#Why am I thinking of a Brud!reader in a freaking train with Emmet and fucking Ingo???#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT THESE TWO#brud!reader#Platonic Ingo x reader#Platonic Emmet x reader#Pokemon x Sprunki!reader#Yandere ingo#Yandere Emmet#GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HEAD#GETOUGETOUGETOUGETOUGETOUT#I DONT TO BE AN EMMET AND INGO BRAIN ROT#HELLPPP MEEEEEEE AAAAHHHHHHH#platonic yandere x reader#yandere batfam#yandere superfam
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ED 14: Fire Exit Are you sure you still know where you're going?
#Elevator Hitch#Elevator Hitch Protag#Studio Investigrave#Sigverse#artists on tumblr#illustration#digital art#fan art#id in alt#hazelnootart#HEY GIRL THIS PIECE TOOK WAY TOO FUCKING LONG BECAUSE OF THE PERSPECTIVE WHY DID I DO THIS TO MYSELF#anyway. obsessed with this game now. the soundtrack popped up in my recs after listening to the soundtrack for DP and MIR#and then i went through all the endings on the wiki and then played the game. a timeline if you Will#nobody told me it was a time loop game!!!! and i didn't go looking so honestly thats on me!!!! but this is in my brain now. mine.
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witcher netflix: [drops]
henry cavill fans: honestly, i don’t really care about the story, i’m just here because hcav is hot asf
me: wtf? how shallow is this… only there because the titular witcher is hot? talk about missing the point…
witcher 4 trailer: [drops]
✨ciri✨: 😡
me: … i understanded.
#don’t take this as an apology but rather as a white flag of defeat#i’m sorry witcher principles i have failed you. it will happen again#lesbians … we have won ultimately and we have also lost severely#‘there are no gods here only monsters’ is this line cheesy. yeah. is it cool. yeah. is it witcher. maybe.#all i know is that she got close to the camera and growled and i felt something in my back#i PROMISE i still have my analysis brained takes with me#(because they’re in my soul i can’t drop them)#but like ciri being attractive is so 😭😭 like i feel like i’m seeing a friend from high school after 10 years#… not on my witcher bingo#‘but what about in witcher 3’ witcher 3 does not look like real people. it looks good but not like real people#i can see the sweat on her skin dude. i can see the curvature of her scar. wtf do you want me to do about it?! i’m panicking#the witcher 4#tagging so prople can block this embarassment lol sorry guys i am only human#the elbow-high diaries#i feel a bit happy because it’s like sexuality: CONFIRMED lol but disappointed this is what i care about in this trailer#because i cant really say it when people ask me what i think about it can i#‘what did you think of the trailer [expecting deep analysis]’ ‘dude ciri is so fucking hot wtf why did they make her so hot’
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alright here's my pitch ok:
rory sucks
more specifically rory is a 45 year old mechanical worker brooklyn flirt with no sense of personal space
gary is shy but not immune
aunt arctic is going to blow rory up with her mind
#club penguin#gary the gadget guy#aunt arctic#rory#rory club penguin#rory's so so soooo funny to me#like he's a character that exists#but he's not a mascot he's not really anything#and yet they brought him back for CPI which is SO FUCKING FUNNY#WHY DID YOU DO THAT#WHY IS HE DATING CADENCE#WHO'S IDEA WAS THIS#my art#anyways sorry for the yaoi.#to be clear aa isn't jealous#its more like when you know your friend's boyfriend is absolute ass#and you just have to bear it but you're exploding him in your brain at every second like 'break up break up break up break up break up'
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Taming Hope: Part One
Don’t mind me over here furiously writing out an outline for a fic from the perspective of an eight-year-old Gortash arriving in the House of Hope and making friends with the projection of a crazy lady who’s the only one who’s nice to him… only to learn unequivocally that compassion earns you unfathomable torture.
Spoiler: The child Raphael is threatening to slit open is definitely Gortash. I mean, it could be any child or no child at all obviously, it’s Raphael, but Gortash is the only child I know of that canon tells us was definitely residing in the HoH so I’m just saying…
#bg3#Gortash#bg3 raphael#house of hope#why do I only get the most twisted fucking plot ideas#where did my fluff brain go
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死光hahahahhahaaahaha you don’t understand how much mileage i get out of that pun
#artwork#digital art#rkgkillust#illustration#link click#shiguang daili ren#shiguang#cheng xiaoshi#lu guang#cheng xiaoshi x lu guang#i got tired of painting so i said fuck it it’s done#it was going to be a lined piece originally but for some reason my brain was like “this *needs* to be painted” so here we are#im still not very good at using csp but i think im getting better#also quick psa on why i haven’t been posting here recently#i’ve been mostly doing original work which i notice doesn’t really do well on tumblr so i just… don’t post it here…#if there’s like a single person who wants them here just lmk and ig i’ll compile the stuff i did in a post here#anyways angel!cheng xiaoshi has been my brainrot for a while now#he’s like my version of the you know the person who draws the fuckass svsss skin creatures#i’ve been sending them to everyone i know and they hate it and i love it
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YO, SUPER LATE SUPER LONG SUPER MESSY OCTOBER POST THAT I JUST SHOVED EVERYTHING INTO BC I DIDN'T WANT TO DO MULTIPLE. FUCK IT.
I forgot halfway that these were supposed to be costumes and not mini aus... SO REMEMBER IN MY PLACE, EVERYTHING IS HYPOTHETICAL. also. some have a bit of yandere elements to them bc its SO FITTING FOR NORITOSHI.
Happy late October, everyone. it's winter now. Let's get it, baby.
[Long rambles and doodles under the cut!]
Vampire!
I kept asking myself, "How sexy is too sexy.." and "How the fuck does a sexy vampire even look like without it being a shirtless guy w fangs or Edward Cullen....." I think I figured it out
Sure, sure, vampires are superhumans with sun allergies that can drink blood really hotly. They can also easily overpower you to feast and blah blah blah, but what if said vampire (Noritoshi) was too weak to do any of that? Not literally, but he craves your say. He wants not only your blood but your affection. He wants to get praised as he drinks you in. Are you comfortable? How much will you allow him to take? Do you want to get him back in return? Guidance with this makes him feel more at ease. It's still Noritoshi at the end of the day. He's going to find a way to be a little awkward about you because of his crush. He refuses to drink from anyone other than you, even if it causes his death. Therefore, he has to keep you healthy! For the rest of your lives..! Besides, he can't really go outside or else he'd.. y'know. So if you think about it, this is a very beneficial relationship for both of you!!
The only downside is that you're losing blood on the regular, and for some reason, more people are moving away... Probably nothing, right? Noritoshi is always there to keep you company and help you recover anyways.
Witch!
my attempts also bled into the witch design.... you got greedy with requesting two in one ask, but I'll spoil you this time bc I also wanted to see Noritoshi as a (sexy) vampire and witch. heh. AND I DIDNT REALIZE HED BE SO CUTE AS A WITCH..... WHAT THE FUCK?? rip momo, fight for your title of cute witch...
Noritoshi strikes me as one of those witches who'd rather be left to their own devices because they're running some important magic whatever in the background. though, he'll take some breaks and indulge you if you insist on having him around. Insist meaning you pass by and strike conversation, leaving him to neglect anything and everything to prioritize his time with you. He doesn't want to use magic on you unless it's beneficial for either you or both. Noritoshi likes a natural progression with you that he knows for a fact is true and not some product of some spell. Though it doesn't mean he wouldn't use charms and such to get you to interact with him more often to speed up the process!
Can't sleep? He has a remedy perfect for that! Bad luck? Oh no, take a charm. Nerves? A potion he perfected will help you ease your jitters. Annoying peers? With a snap of Noritoshi's fingers, they're gone! Just don't ask what happened. Enjoy yourself instead and come to him with any new issue. He's quick to resolve it.
Definitely has some sort of doll that looks suspiciously like you.. Noritoshi would probably talk to it and practice one liners that give you the strongest sense of nostalgia once he uses them. He's simultaneously giddy that the charm he put in the doll works but also a little annoyed that his hard work isn't surprising you, but leaving you with deja vu.
Idol!
i was crying the entire time bc what does an idol look like.... noritoshi is handsome enough to be an idol without actually being an idol... now i can confirm that idols are very well dressed though. thumbs up 100% but i had some thoughts...
[Idol]
Noritoshi would be the type to cherish his fans, but hold clear favoritism over you. he'd be those idols that look cold, but they talk, and they sound smug in a charming way. i don't know much about idols, but i know he'd be so fucking good.... he'd be the type of guy to sing to you amongst the hundreds in the crowd.... ahhh the interviews w these famous aus. they're just talking and acting like themselves. can you imagine Noritoshi getting asked the question if he has a lover or not? he can lie, im sure you're alright with that, but he doesn't want to!! he does have someone!!! someone he loves more than all his fans love for him combined!!! he just can't say it for the sake of your privacy and his career. so Noritoshi does what any charming guy who's good with their words does. he deflects the question. answering the question, but not really, that'd be something he's known for. fans online are split on why Noritoshi does this. some think he's trying to keep that side of his life private, others think he's trying to mess around, and others think he's hiding a secret lover!!! though the last one is usually seen as the outlandish one, sometimes it makes Noritoshi's heart drop bc they get some things right. "Having a lover is a complicated question hidden behind a simple disguise. If I had to answer, I'd say my lovers are my audience. they make sure i'm well cared for, some more than others." AND HIS FUCKING LITTLE SMIRK I CANT COUGHS UP BLOOD. IM A THEORIST TOO. SECRET LOVER. 🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵
ON THE FLIP SIDE....
[Not an Idol]
An amusing thought where Noritoshi goes out in his casual clothes, and he's mistaken for an idol. No one knows who he is, but he just looks like he'd be one. bro's just trying to buy groceries, and now he has a fan group asking him to take pictures with them.. He'd tell them that he's just a guy, not an idol, but the group would still want a picture with him. it'd be a waste to pass by someone who's so naturally gorgeous, so with a sigh of defeat, he relents. It's just a photo, right? No harm done. Noritoshi'd go home and feel overwhelmed/embarrassed by the whole ordeal. later, he gets a call from someone in the kyoto group or you to inform him how he's all over social media, known as that handsome guy in the supermarket. HED BE COMPLETELY UNREACHABLE TO MEDIA OUTLETS BC NORITOSHI IS THAT GUY WHO DOESNT HAVE SOCIAL MEDIA.... he'd have to make one to make sure no one pretends to be him online. "Hello, I don't use social media, but I've been informed I've been getting attention online. To prevent anyone from being fooled by an impersonator, this is my official and only account. thank you." P.R. STATEMENT WRITING ASS.. his single post gets flooded with likes, comments, and DMs. it almost blows up his phone..... he was just buying bread, dude...... people try to dig up and find him through the other Kyoto group's social media.
[bonus] my second in command requested to put him in a fem idol outfit bc he thought it was funny. after frothing at the mouth and coughing out blood, I complied.
Doctor!
THIS IS SUCH A STRAIGHT FORWARD ASK BUT IT HAS SO MANY IMPLICATIONS. MY BELOVED CULT MEMBER.. THOSE EMOJIS GIVE ME A DIFFERENT IMPRESSION BUT IM NOT SURE.
Noritoshi as a doctor...... apple sales would plummet. his little clinic's business would skyrocket. sick cases would peak in his area. getting your heart checked by his stethoscope would be so fucking embarrassing bc all he'd hear is THUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMP
LIKE IMAGINE IF THAT WAS YOUR DOCTOR? BRO.
COUGH COUGH HACK WHEEZE COUGH COUGH.
Noritoshi would probably own a small clinic that he wants to expand. That or he opened one after working for a hospital for a while. He's a great doctor who's most likely respected but a pain in the ass to work with. Among patients, he's gotten the hot doctor reputation. Most want to be treated by him, but he's so professional, any chance of trying to flirt goes down the drain. Yeah, he puts his hair up to avoid it in his face even though his eyes are closed classic lab safety procedures. He seems like the type to have a soothing but authoritative voice during examination, so he gets his message across. it's a bit difficult when dealing with patients for Noritoshi. If he sees them too often, he firstly scolds you for not taking care of yourself, then feels guilty for not giving you the proper care. Keep yourself safe and healthy, or else Noritoshi will clearly :( Putting him in a yandere setting would be dangerous. He'd have a lot of control over you, considering he can prescribe medication, shots, visits, and other things.... he'd have a ball.... nothing that would cause you any harm, of course. he's only looking out for you and doing what's best for you..!
Pirate!
my second in command wanted a pirate. pirates are so fucking cool and i know damn well if this guy were a pirate he'd have a bunch of battle scars under that fancy coat.
Noritoshi as a pirate would be more than a little odd, but also fitting. He looks like the type of guy who'd be well put together, yet he's willing to get his hands dirty. Like the guy who got into the pirate life because of some personal issue that couldn't be solved fast enough through conventional means. Even as a pirate, i imagine he holds everyone to high standards. They're still pirates though.. so his expected standards aren't even that high. He has more freedom here, so even he himself lets loose once or twice. Especially with you. He's even able to get away with more violent actions for you, the seas are unpredictable, after all. While taking some treasure, Noritoshi'd toss you a gem or golden coin, just so you can say you were the first to claim it. Just so he can see that happy glint in your eyes when getting your hands on treasure. God forbid anyone try to get their hands on your hard earned goods. They'd be met with a bullet to the foot or a sword at their neck. Everyone and their mother knows how you're his favorite, but Noritoshi downplays it. Its not a crime to help out someone from his crew is it? Not in the seven seas. He leans more into his cold ruthless killer side here. He has goals and people to help keep in line whether hes captain or not. Yet when around you, he's almost adorable in how he shows you a pearl so entrancing that it reminded him of you.
Corpse Bride!
my submission to my Noritoshi Halloween costume closet.. CORPSE BRIDE, THIS MOVIE FUCKS. esp w the yandere elements.
Noritoshi 100% made you recite the wedding vows to him before accepting the ring. If you fumbled up, he'd correct you with SO much attitude and expect you to start from the top until you got it perfectly.
Hypothetically, in the chalice scene towards the end..
Noritoshi is the type to never be fully relaxed unless he knows for sure you'll be eternally his. In this scenario, YOU proposed to HIM but have to die to continue being together. Not only that, but someone in the living world is also after your heart. Someone who bleeds. Someone who's the obvious choice. Someone who can give you the life that you deserve. Someone who will succeed in their pursuits if you. remain. alive. Noritoshi's life was cut short, yet he still managed to lose so much and be abandoned a considerable amount of times. When he meets you and finds out about the possibility of having to go through that again even in death, it finally clicks in his rotting mind. He realizes he's been doing something wrong to keep constantly failing. Noritoshi revises his methods to a more.. selfish course. Why should he care about anyone else's wants or how his actions hurt them? You were the only one who made him truly fulfilled, to make him feel alive. The only one who deserves anything and everything good that comes from this world. Destiny is never done toying with him when he realizes your marriage is invalid because of your pulse and his lack thereof no matter how hard he'd try, but the opportunity arises. of course, he's ecstatic to give you an afterlife worth much more than what a silly beating heart can achieve. "All people die eventually. If you miss your living family or friends, all it takes is patience, darling. I'll wait by your side in the meantime." He weighs the pros and cons of everything, but when it comes to swaying manipulating your thoughts he only highlights the ones that'll get you on his side. in this case, the pros of dying to be with him! Honestly, the answer was so obvious that Noritoshi didn't know why he was stressing about it before. It hurts him to see you in any type of pain, but he reassures both himself and you that it'll only be for a moment. Afterward, he'll have the rest of your afterlives to make it up to you!! What happened to Till Death Do Us Part? Noritoshi thinks it's insulting that something as shallow as that could be so widely accepted. If your love were true, it wouldn't stop just because the world decided to take them away. "Till death do us part? Darling, don't be silly. 'Not even death will do us part' feels much better, doesn't it?"
#noritoshi#kamo noritoshi#noritoshi kamo#noritoshi x reader#kamo noritoshi x reader#noritoshi kamo x reader#yandere noritoshi#yandere kamo noritoshi#yandere noritoshi kamo#merry october#???#ragingbisegzual#charamander459#I FUCKING LIVED THROGUH THIS GOD I FELT SO BAD I TOOK SO LONG ESP SINCE ITS ALREADY HALFWAY INTO NOVEMBER BUT HERE WE GO. BABY IS HERE#i thought i was so smart making this look like a fashion show. anyway hi im still alive just busy#vampire and witch nori were makin my brain fry bc all the outfits for guys were their shirt off. it was both funny and testing my creativit#as for idol.. heh. <- in love with forbidden love and secret relationships and 'we shouldnt be doing this' 'i know' *does it anyway*#I WAS TEARING MY HAIR OUT AT DOCTOR. LIKE I LIKE THE CONCEPT BUT WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO.. PUT HIM IN SCRUBS???#im not upset im just so entertained by how straight forward you were yet there are still so many implications in this ask#LIKE YOU WROTE FOUR WORDS AND TWO EMOJIS AND THATS ALL IT TOOK FOR ME TO DO A DOUBLE TAKE#now that i think abt it. i shouldve put him in a hot nurse outfit... //punches myself in the face#THATS WHY ANY FAMOUS/ROYAL/REPUTATION AU IS MY SHIT BC THEY HAVE TO HIDE THEIR RELATIONSHIP/EACHOTHER AGH FROTHS AT THE MOUTH#i love how the pirate noritoshi is a cool guy until he sees you and turns into a simp#CORPSE BRIDE WAS SO SELF INDULGENT. THAT MOVIE FUCKS SO HARD. THE USE OF 'DARLING' WAS BC EMILY USED IT IN THE MOVIE#IT HAD SO MANY YAN VIBES BUT FUCK. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BE SUCH A GREEN FLAG EMILY. I LOVE YOU#heh. the lace and mask are supposed to represent the bones and such. didnt mean to give him a phantom of the opera look.. though it fits...#null rot
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🧠🪱 Wiggly Wednesday Thursday 🧠 🪱
thank you for tagging me @stervrucht 🖤
no pressure tags: @frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe @stevesbipanic and of course anyone else that would like to ♡
thinking about Steve and Eddie who, after going through rounds of physical therapy after everything, continue to work out together because Steve obviously loves it and loves having a friend to work out with. and Eddie notices the difference in his stamina when he gets back to performing on stage. (and if Eddie likes to watch Steve work out a little bit, and likes Steve coming over to help his form more than a little bit, well that’s his business.) but Steve takes a dance class and shakes up his usual warmup, leaving Eddie with some… thoughts.
***
“Okay, Munson,” Steve says, pulling his arm across his body for a shoulder stretch. “You ready?”
“Ready to be tortured? Always,” Eddie jokes. It was their thing. Eddie acts like he hates being there, but he still shows up every other day to their local gym in Indianapolis. And he won’t ever deny the benefits he’s noticed since starting their exercise regime. He's faster on stage, doesn't get winded near as easily, holding those screaming notes without feeling like his lungs will explode. Little did he know that today his joke would come to be true.
Steve liked most kinds of exercise. He was a sporty guy. He liked the pull and stretch of his muscles, the feeling of accomplishment after achieving a new goal, that delicious soreness the day after a really good workout. But mostly he loved trying new things. He’d give anything half a chance if he thought it might be fun. Which is how he ended up at a dance-aerobics class the week prior, finding himself having a lot of fun, blushing furiously when the women in the class complimented how quickly he picks up the steps.
He went back three more times that week. Part of his enjoyment came from the new warmup he was taught in the class. Steve’s usual warmup consisted of basic stretches and a light jog, covering all bases to ensure he didn’t get injured, but not very exciting.
This, however, was far more enjoyable. Steve found himself sinking deep into stretches he didn't know he had flexibility for, and moving his hips to a beat, ultimately just having way more fun with the warmup. And it was about to become a huge problem for Eddie.
Steve pops his headphones over his ears, the tape deck tucked securely in his shorts pocket. He bends over, inhaling deeply as the song starts, rising up with his hands overhead, exhaling as he rolls his wrists, hips moving side to side with the beat. His already short cropped t-shirt rises, showing off a good amount of his chest. He lets his arms come down, bending over again, feeling the pull in his hamstrings. Gripping his elbows, he lets the top half of his body hang, swinging from side to side, his hamstrings fully stretched out.
Eddie looks up from his own basic stretching, shocked to see Steve fully bent over, because hey, since when was he so flexible? With Metallica blaring through his own headphones, Eddie just stares, completely forgetting where he was at in his warmup.
Steve lets his hands drop, moving to one foot, back to the centre, then the other foot. Ass just up in the air, his shorts way too tight. Eddie swallows. He’d been denying his crush for months at this point, and good god this was not helping.
Rolling his shoulders as he stands up, Steve lets his hands travel down his bare thighs, sinking into a squat with his back arched and head tilted back. Eddie's eyes are wide as he watches those tight little shorts with the little cut-ins on the sides ride up, showing far more of Steve's glorious hairy thighs than Eddie can handle. Steve drops his head forward, hunching his shoulders as he moves back to standing. He repeats the motions, and Eddie wishes he had the strength to pull his stare away from Steve's ass.
Seeing Steve's head tilted back and his back arched is sending Eddie insane. Like, he geninely thinks he might evaporate on the spot if he keeps watching. But he just can't look away.
Turning himself sideways, Steve has one foot stepped out in front of the other, legs perfectly straightened into a triangle shape, bent over his front leg. Just when Eddie thinks he’s about to get up and end his suffering, Steve lowers himself down into a lunge. His little shorts definitely way too small and tight for the movement, Steve lunges back and forth, fingertips resting on the ground on either side of his front foot. Eddie watches as the t-shirt rides up with each lunge, the desire to get his lips and tongue all over Steve's chest overwhelming him.
Shaking himself, Eddie tries to remember which shoulder stretch he was up to. He attempts something close to a stretch, but he can’t be sure he's doing it right, because Steve has lowered himself to the ground, front leg bent and back leg perfectly straight, and is fucking thrusting into the ground. If he were to ask Steve, he’d find out this was a hip flexor stretch. But Eddie’s forgotten how to form words entirely, suddenly imagining nineteen different ways he wants to get dicked down by the man before him.
Eddie suffers in silence, heart racing in his chest, watching as Steve repeats the movements on his other side. He prays that the torture ends soon, that they can just get to the workout, and Eddie can go back to pretending he doesn't want to ride Steve until his thighs give out. But Eddie gets no such luck.
Steve has moved into some kind of triangle position, hands on the ground, legs straight, and of fucking course, his ass in the air. Eddie marvels at how straight the shape is, only for a moment, because then Steve is lifting his heels up and down in turn, and jesus christ those tiny little shorts are just riding up, and Eddie can see a hint of Steve's ass peeking out. His jaw drops. He may actually explode.
Just when Eddie's thinking he can't take much more of this, Steve lowers himself down, knees spread wide, arms stretched out in front of him and head tucked down. A wild and rushed series of thoughts fly across Eddie's mind, all centred around Steve kneeling down in front of him. Eddie needs to get it together quickly.
As Steve brings himself back up to the triangle position, walking his feet to meet his hands and rolling his spine up, shoulders and head rolling back last, he sees Eddie taking off for his warmup jog. Assuming that he probably just took too long with his new warmup, Steve shrugs it off and starts his jog shortly after.
Eddie hits his personal best in several weights that day, desperately trying to expend his excess energy in some way. He barely registers the wins, mind still stuck on Steve and his perfect ass in all those new positions. He almost dissolves on the spot when Steve claps him on the shoulder in congratuations.
At the end of their session, Eddie takes a freezing cold shower and prays for the sweet release of death.
#it takes two more workouts where steve warms up that way before eddie fuckin loses it#and just yells at him 'oh my god if you want me to die just hit me with your car or something!!'#steve is. So confused lmfao. poor dude was completely oblivious. lost in the euphoria of a fun dancey stretchy warmup#meanwhile eddie has been plagued by visions of steve fucking him in so many different positions#he speed runs them in his mind like the stages of grief when he has to watch steve warmup that way#anyway they talk and figure it out and fuck about it later :~)#wow the brain worms really got away from me on this one#yes i did write this while i was at the gym why do you ask?#cira writes#wiggly wednesday#steddie#steddie fic#steddie crack fic#steve harrington#eddie munson
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FIIIINALLY almost nailed my designs for lizzie and caspian can i get a HEEEELLL YEAAH???? i think these two make a vvery cute duo and i cannt wait to see them again. i also hope they both get hurt reaaaallly really badly. togeter
#OOOHH OH OOOHH IVE BBBEEEN REWATCHING THINGSSS ive been rewatching riptide weeee im never leaving here weeeee!!!#caspian and lizzie are SUUUUCH A CUTE COUPLE CAN I BE HONNESTT but in a princess and knight way. do you hear me.#caspian is such a 'lights her cigarette' kinda guy. hes such a dude that has made a vow to a very very special lady#he would float half of a boat w nothing but his water powers for eight days and he would do it all for her.I LOVE THEMM#IM SO HAPPY ABT LIZZIES REDESIGN BTW IM MAKIN A WHOLE DOODLY PAGE FOR HER N IM HAVING FUNNN YEAAAHHH#CASPIAN HAS ALSO BEN ENTIRELY RECYCLED IN MY MINDS EYE. they describe him as Wet sooo much. so i drew that and im happy abt it#caspian is sooo handsom in my brain thats why i draw him so rarely bc drawing pretty boys is HARD. but i DID IT.#when he first appeared i thought he was a triton too bc i didn talk to the fandom n i knew nothing abt dnd. so learning otherwise was funny#a residual effect o that mixup is me giving him ears thatre like the fins of a flying fish. he seems to light and carefree.#the lighter fins o a flying fish just fit so perfectly. also his white hair fades into mist in my mind#NOW FOR LIZZIE ART NOTES.A BLACK ROSE.sometimes a red rose.shes so roses to me!!gorgeous but coated in thorns. i wanted her hair to-#-resemble roses or smth like that. square swirls are also soo her. reevaluating her ref sheet was also fun bc WOW the triangles and birds#SO FUN!! shes so spikyy..her and caspian are such a good dynamic in everyway#personality wise and appearance wise and i wanted to capture that sortaaaa. in vibes. yknow.im veryhappy w getting their designs sorted out#ALSO I GAVE LIZZie tha jhonny da homicidal manac boots. bc i love that comic and i will never stop giving characters da boots.#also in other news ddoes anyone else still wonder abt destinys blade and how it used to be a golden lotus sword but then it also used to#be a person and caspian just had that sword for however da fuck long and then so willingly gave it to gillion after he lost his sword#llike did he know. did he know. also do you think caspian and lizzie have explored ea
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So, you are telling me that Jaskier used to wear outfits the color of the sea in Season 1...
That he constantly complains about his feet hurting, or struggling with keeping his footing while having to wear boots (is the problem his actual boots or a lack of early practice in life?!)...
That he got all excited at the thought that Geralt might catch him a fish to eat...
That a huge part of his identity and the pride he takes in himself is tied to his singing voice and abilities...
That his songs have been described as having the power to sing a king off his clothes...
That helping his best friend in the whole wide world bathe after rubbing soothing chamomile onto his lovely bottom is typical friendship behavior to him...
That he vulnerably asked for Geralt to get away for a while with him, and head to the (west?) coast, in the hopes that he might be able to prove himself a worthy [travel] companion (works whether you interpret the interest as romantic or queerplatonic).
And then he basically implied that (returning home with Geralt?) might be what would please him most.
That the very first thing he did after Geralt returned to him and got him out of his cell in Season 2, is take off his top and jump into the freaking nearest body of water!
That he's hypersensitive to the way people on land start stinking after a while (including himself), and will openly suggest they should bathe (or downright bathe them himself)!
That he talks with animals...
That you had him fall in love with a human prince in Season 3...
... then had him sing a song about a human prince that falls in love with a siren to Ciri right before you had him go meet with said prince, share his first kiss with him, and make love to him in a woodshed!
... only to show a clip from "Sirens of the Deep" revealing that the Netflix version of Jaskier is from
Bremervoord
a.k.a. The vassal state of Cidaris and one of the places that goes the furthest west into the sea on the Continent!
Bremervoord, with an economy running primarily on pearls fishing.
Bremervoord, the place where the story of Jaskier's Season 3 song, "A Little Sacrifice" takes place...
A place where a prince (though I think it's a duke in the actual short story) meets a siren, falls in love with her, and willingly leaves his human life behind to follow her at sea.*
*according to the song, at least! And I'm not sure it ends well for the prince of the song, because that part about him sinking to darkest night sounds a bit ominous if you ask me... The book's short story has a different conclusion.
You're basically telling me that Jaskier comes from a place on the coast that goes far into the sea to the west, a place where merpeople and humans occasionally interact, and that he didn't really feel like talking about where he's from, because he felt like the only way for him to ever be able to "become himself" was to leave his home behind...
... AND YOU EXPECT ME NOT TO LATCH ONTO THAT POPULAR MERMAN!JASKIER THEORY?!
OR INSTINCTIVELY START DEVELOPING A BUNCH OF HEADCANONS ABOUT IT?
For example :
What if Jaskier keeps repeating that "he's just a bard" not because he's actually dismissing how good, influential, or powerful he is...
... but because he chose to give up his tail to permanently become a human, and he doesn't like to be reminded that he doesn't quite "fully belong" with humanity, because there's something a bit different and "unique" about his singing.
What if, growing up as a merboy, he'd kept feeling like he was born in the wrong body and with the wrong species given his brethren's attitude about singing as an artform.
What if when merpeople sing, they typically rely on pure melodies without lyrics, and argue that only humans and other species of the land - with their inferior vocal capabilities - must rely on something as primitive as words and lyrics to inspire emotions and make ideas take root into other people's minds.
What if they do have a singing speech pattern, but when it comes to artistic expression, the songs are purely melodic.
But Jaskier, after listening to some of the folk songs that the local bards enjoy singing by the fire at the beach, often accompanied by a lute or other instruments, fell in love with the way the words of those songs flow and sound.
Perhaps he revealed himself to Essi then, and that, instead of being scared of him, she agreed to show him how to play the lute, speak her language, and sing the way humans do.
And when he did fully grasp the beauty and the power of using verbal poetry into songs, he knew he could never look back.
What if Essi was the first person to ever really see him for who he was and treat him as family, hence why he loves her like a little sister.
Maybe "the Lettenhoves" are basically a group of merpeople with no actual blood relation, that lost their own families and were rejected by them when they chose to make the full transition from merperson to human.
By pretending to be blood relatives, they've managed, however, to realistically pass as a large human noble family, acquire a bunch of lands and estates over the years that is passed to each new generation that wants them, and each new member is given a certain amount of money when they become one of the Lettenhoves to begin their new life on land!
They aren't extremely close, because they each have their own lives and personal ventures (very few go into singing careers), but they are still people that understand what being a human born at sea feels like, and that will be there to offer each other help and support if need be!
And so, Jaskier was able to go study at the University of Oxenfurt and learn as much of the human world and its arts as he could!
But, while his voice remains a bit more powerful and influential than most humans that were born on land, that influence comes with a "curse"...
Most people that instinctively fall under the charm of his melodies (note: Jaskier can use his voice to make an audience more susceptible to anger and annoyance when he sings, too. An especially useful skill to have when you're relying on food being thrown at you to eat... Hence why Geralt's lack of emotional response to his singing when they met was so intriguing!) will typically only care about how they make them feel, rather than how Jaskier himself was feeling when he wrote his songs.
Geralt, Yennefer and Ciri are all immune to his siren charms - and dwarves appear to be more resistant as well - but, while his songs inspire people, and hearing him sing them "live" with his actual voice tends to make people become instantly infatuated with him (or immediately hate him, should Jaskier wish to repel rather than attract them)...
... they rarely ever see him or seemingly attempt to connect with him on an intimate, emotional level, like they would with another human being.
And so, every time Jaskier is reminded of how much influence he appears to have over how people see the world when he uses his voice, Jaskier's tendency to remind them that he's "just a bard" is because he wishes people would connect with his humanity, too, rather than what he can do.
Regardless of him being able to pass as someone that was born on land and started his life in a fully human body, he knows that his voice will always carry some remnant of his siren abilities.
And that this difference appears to be preventing him from emotionally and physically connecting with other human beings that weren't born at sea like him, the way he wishes he could.
And so, that's why he was initially hesitant to sing for Radovid, and he kept insisting that he wasn't in a "singing mood" that day.
Because he knew that, the moment Radovid heard his singing voice, he might stop listening to him and trying to connect.
But there was something in the way Radovid insisted - while asking for Jaskier to pick his favorite song and showing a sincere curiosity about listening to what pleased him most - that made Jaskier ultimately choose to risk it.
And, while Radovid was obviously affected by the sound of his voice (to the point where he felt the need to pretend his speechlessness was caused by drunkenness), it was also very clear that he'd been listening.
Not only was his gaze very sharp and his eyes clear and bright while Jaskier was singing - seemingly attempting to analyse every note and word - but, for once, the things Radovid was complimenting him about weren't related to his ability to make people feel and experience things...
For once, what Radovid was claiming made Jaskier so special wasn't the beauty or power of his voice, or how catchy the melodies of the songs he'd sang to him were.
It wasn't even about how Jaskier's lyrics had made him feel.
He'd told Jaskier that what made him so special was his ability to see people for who they really are rather than who they pretend to be.
He'd essentially told him that his ability to truly comprehend those around him was his gift - that he had a unique ability to connect with them at the core... the very thing Jaskier had always felt that he was lacking.
And when Jaskier pushed him for more, all Radovid told him was that he didn't know yet, but was determined to figure it out.
"You connect strongly with others and my desire is to understand and connect with you."
That is what Radovid had taken away from who he was, even after having heard him sing, and Jaskier couldn't help but feel like he'd found a kindred spirit in that human.
Someone stuck in a world and a birth family that simply couldn't understand and accept him as he was - constantly hiding parts of himself to survive.
Radovid had then agreed to help him with the whole situation with Rience - despite the fact that Jaskier hadn't used any song to attempt to suggest he should, just genuinely asked for his help.
And - if that hadn't been enough - that prince had gone one step even further by asking him if Geralt knew how lucky he was to have him, after Jaskier had been singing about his self-worth issues when it came to relationships and his fear of never being good enough - or human enough - for a fellow human (or mutated human) partner.
He'd been listening to him.
He might have been born on land, and he might not have been immune to Jaskier's siren abilities, but Radovid still hadn't lost sight of who he was, nor been tempted to start obsessing about owning him or treating him like a prized possession.
And so, Jaskier tentatively begins to allow himself to hope...
Until Radovid does something truly unexpected that none of his prior human, elven or dwarven suitors or lovers had ever done before...
Learn his song.
Sirens are typically immune to the power that another siren's voices carry... until they fall in love.
One of the ways to know if a fellow merperson is alterously or romantically drawn to you is to sing back one of their own melodies to them, and see how they will respond.
Should they feel that instinctive, near irresistible pull towards the melody, and vice versa, then the two sirens will often start trying to discover and explore different ways they can learn to harmonize and use their voices to complement each other's, and create new shared melodies that will resound through the sea.
And, for the very first time in his life, Jaskier finally understands how people feel when they listen to him sing.
Despite the fact that the "siren's melody" being sung back to him is a human song he wrote, with human lyrics, accompanied by human instruments...
Despite the fact that Radovid himself is most definitely not a siren but very much human - fumbling a bit with Jaskier's lute, visibly nervous, too shy to allow his voice to rise above a whisper...
To Jaskier, it's the most beautifully mesmerizing "siren's melody" he's ever heard in his existence! It's filled with warmth, love, understanding, a promise of unconditional acceptance and safety...
It's absolutely intoxicating, he can barely breathe, feels like he's on the very edge of losing his sanity, and it takes all the power he has to avoid launching himself right at him!
And if a human can make him feel this way singing back to him a song filled with poetry and lyrics - rather than a classic, traditional siren's melody - then maybe there's never been anything wrong with Jaskier or the way he's always preferred to sing!
His people made him feel unwanted, but the sea never did! It probably would have been welcoming to a lute-playing merman singing like a bard, if his people hadn't been such close-minded arses!
Jaskier feels at home on land and has never once regretted his choice, but maybe he still has a right to also be a child of the sea, regardless of him having ultimately chosen a pair of legs over his fins!
And maybe Radovid would love to see parts of his old home some day - even if they can only access the surface of it, rather than go explore everything hidden in the water's depths (unless Yennefer has a spell that would allow Radovid to breathe under water as he does. Because Jaskier would never trust a sea witch with Radovid's life!).
And if Jaskier himself can be mesmerized by Radovid's song and feel like he would let that man lead him anywhere and do whatever he wants with him, without any desire to own and control him; maybe he'd simply been trying to connect with the wrong people.
Radovid is the first person he's ever met that seems to be able to connect with both the human and the siren part of him. And when Jaskier offers to help him work on his lute playing and singing, what he's truly saying is that he wants them to learn to harmonize their voices together and create their own melodies...
It's an intimate need Jaskier still has, and he's finally found himself a mate that appears to fully get him, and be able to fulfil those needs.
Of course, then the whole mess with Cirilla happens, and for a moment there Jaskier loses faith that any of it was ever real!
Who was he kidding!? The Redanian Intelligence kept insisting that they knew everything about everyone! Maybe they'd figured out Jaskier used to be a merman, done their research, noticed that Jaskier "fancied" the prince, and instructed him to surprise him and trick him into lowering his defenses, by courting him the way a fellow merman would!
He really should have known!
But then, when he finds Radovid alone, lost, and hiding, he realizes that Radovid had never meant to trick or hurt him.
Radovid had just been genuinely afraid, and trying to deal with the threat of a looming war as best he could by seeking Ciri's help.
And now, the war he'd attempted preventing from happening had begun, he'd clearly internalized Jaskier's earlier blame, and that spoon of a man was sufficiently bonded to him by now that he might just allow himself to be captured and killed if he doesn't do something about it!
And then, Jaskier himself might end up symbolically 'washing ashore' somewhere and letting himself die of heartbreak, for fuck's sake!
Because merpeople are dramatic as fuck and they feel the loss of friends and family in a way that's devastatingly sharp. Being rejected by a queerplatonic or romantic partner - or having them die on them - is the worst type of injury one could inflict upon them!
When he'd sung about having also survived, no thanks to Geralt, he'd fully meant it! That loss had nearly killed him!
If he wants to survive this, he needs to figure out a way to keep Radovid safe, and then make sure that Geralt and the rest of his family are safe also, because he doesn't know how he'd manage to continue to live in this world if the war ends up taking everything from him in a way where all hope would be lost of ever getting any of them back!
#Jaskier#Radovid#Radskier#Geraskier#Merman!Jaskier#My Posts#My Thoughts#Seriously Netflix why did you do this to me!#I'm supposed to be trying to get shit done right now to prepare for the new dance session starting next week#And finishing writing those WIP fics#And answering to a bunch of stuff (haven't forgotten about you#@my-jokes-are-my-armour#I swear!)#NOT having a little merman!Jaskier gleefully swimming and running around my brain hijacking everything and ensuring nothing else get done!!#Fucking hell!#Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!
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